#bc i know i'll get bad anxiety and hurt and sadness when i see he hasnt even read it

[g0thsoojin]

🦨🗯️

[thebearer]

omg the part in that one blurb where reader makes a joke about being able to skip a meal and then carmy’s just like tf did you just say is so important to me as someone that has a long (and uneasy) history with body image and healthy eating habits

i was wondering if you had blurb/general thoughts/ideas on how carmy would react to the reader having a harder than usual time with body image for whatever reason

maybe they make one too many jokes or little comments about feeling insecure and carmy’s just not having it lol

carmen, with every ounce of love i have in my heart for him, would not be good with handling that. simply because he understands not liking yourself (like the idea of it, he can't fathom why you don't) but he grew up where food was kind of an act of love. he'd never hear an "i'm sorry" ever in his life, but his mom would very much so be the type to say "i have dinner ready for you" and that was as much as an apology as he'd get.

the first time you're kinda not eating, carmen's like trying to joke with you. "the food not good? don't like it?"

and you assure him that's not it. "i just... i'm not really hungry."

carmen's confused bc you've been together all day and you only had an iced coffee in the morning. "no way." he shook his head. "you haven't eaten all day. if you don't like it, baby, it won't hurt my feelings, i promise. nothin' you can say that a chef in new york didn't say, they said worse too. just tell me what you want and-"

"-carmen, it's ok. it's really good, i'm just not really hungry." you smile. "i need to not eat today anyways. my jeans are so tight-"

"-what?" carmen thinks you're joking at first, brows creasing with a small grin. until he sees your face. "you're-you're being serious?"

"well, kinda..." you mutter.

"that's... don't say that." carmen shook his head. "please, don't-don't do that, that's insane."

your face falls at his tone, you know he doesn't mean to be so hard about it, but you can't help but feel worse, like carmen's mad at you. in a way he is, but not out of anger, out of love. out of not wanting you to hurt yourself like that.

"i just... i feel gross, and i'm starting to look it-"

"- i think you look beautiful." carmen mutters. he sounds hurt, genuinely hurt by what you're saying, like you said them to him. "i don't... i don't like that you do that to yourself." he admitted after a moment. he'd been going to therapy, working on channeling his emotions out when he felt them instead of bottling them in, leading him to an anxiety attack.

"i'm sorry." you whisper, unsure of what else to say.

"no, it's not... i don't want you to apologize or- or feel bad, i just... i felt like i should say it." carmen's eyes lifted to yours. "that you don't need to do that."

you can't help the way your chest rushes with heat, anxiously picking up the spoon in front of you. you're not sure what to say, most of the time, most guys kinda brush it off. act like it's nothing or ignore it- some agreeing. no one ever got... hurt by it like this. like you were hurting them too.

maybe it was the guilt. maybe it was the fact that carmen looked so sad. whatever it was, you weren't sure, but you were fucking hungry- and the pasta was good.

you hesitantly took a bite, ignoring carmen's eyes tracking you. "it is really good." you hum, trying to break the obvious tension in the room.

"you don't have to eat it, i-i don't want you to feel pressured to." carmen shook his head. "but i'll make you something else? could i make you something else? whatever you want."

you blushed, looking down. you knew what he meant. he was trying to help in the only way he knew how to, by cooking. "carmen-" you sigh.

"no, it's... it's not good to not eat, ya know?" carmen looked up at you. "you have to eat but-but if you don't want pasta, i get it. i'll make you whatever if that's what you want." he looked at you pointedly. "but don't ever think you need to do anything like that f'me. i think you're perfect no matter what. love you no matter what. you know that, told you i'd still love you even if you were a worm."

you snorted lightly, his reference to the tiktok trend you'd done on him a while ago. "thanks, bear." you mutter, grabbing his hand lightly. "i-i would like, if it's not too much and you have all the stuff, that greek goddess salad sydney was testing the other day? i've been craving it."

"heard." carmen nodded, standing towards the fridge.

"if it's not too much trouble-"

"-c'mon." carmen scoffed, looking at you sweetly. "it'll take me fifteen minutes max. sit down f'me, alright. i got it."

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 42 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 3 | lesson 41.1 | lesson 41.2 | lesson 42.2 | lesson 43.1 | lesson 43.2

...you're quite literally among the 10 most popular/elite demons in the ENTIRE devildom wtf are you talking about 😭 ofc they'd send you here

lucifer thinks he's funny (he is)

OH THAT MAKES SENSE

bc that twitter notification threw me for a loop 🫠 i thought they killed karasu or smth idk

anyways i want blacjak to get a little picture thingy like the ones they have for cerberus and henry and the little d's

BYE HE'S AN ASSHOLE 😭 ik he meant no harm but i audibly laughed at this i love asmo sm

the extortion is crazy /j

sn i love seeing big brother levi in action

...nvm i take it back. why are you yelling at ME when i went out of MY way to help YEW like dpmo

i hate it when my family does this 😭 watch me never help you again. then what

levi :(((

the sad music in the background made this hurt more than i thought it would ngl. like he already has low self-esteem and self-worth so being shut down like this after trying to help HAD to hurt him

but i also get that asmo probably doesn't like being mediocre/bad at something, especially since it's levi we're talking about. asmo's the world's biggest flirt, levi gets a nosebleed if mc smiles at him. levi is anxiety-ridden and introverted (levi 🤝🏽 me), asmo is outgoing and extroverted. in asmo's eyes, he should be able to easily learn from levi since he's already leagues ahead of him in other areas, but it's frustrating that he's not understanding a lick of what levi's trying to help him with

what's funny to me is brothers being all concerned about them making up and lucifer's just like "they'll make up once they get their heads outta their asses" SHDHJSHDJS

some real sibling shit right here

at first, i couldn't figure out if this was levi being petty or levi wanting to wait until asmo's ready to talk to him, but i'm like 99% sure it's the latter. he's only ever this petty with mammon if we're being honest, and i wouldn't put it past him to already know what's going on in asmo's head

ok i was kinda right but this is better than what i was thinking

big brother levi makes me so happy i love him sm :(

i'll beat a bitch ass don't play

honestly i'm glad they made this an easy to solve conflict bc i wouldn't want something like this to drag into the next lesson 😭 but whoever did this to asmo can suck my dick from the back

...no way they ended the lesson like that

obey me devs when i catch you

[ikeromantic]

Sending in request and lots of love ❤️ I rlly like you're writing and all those fics you've written!

Recently, I've just moved and are now starting a new fresh. The problem is, I'm leaving behind my friends whom i just started bonding for like, 5 months, but they've become more than my family. I still can't overcome the feeling of missing them and regretting my choice and I haven't told anyone abt these. So I've started doing some extra activities that reminds me of my old days with them, including the good memories and the bad ones. I have the confidence in overcoming my feelings, but I still couldn't shake off this feeling of anxiety, depression and loneliness. Like, everything I'm doing felt wrong. I'm still not sure who to vent to, and this could calm me a little.

I was hoping if your could do an Ikesen fic of how he would comfort me, bc the only time I could distract myself is when I'm reading abt my fav suitors. I'll understand if you won't write this, so pls don't get pressure.

Oh, and my comfort character is Kanetsugu btw. Mitsuhide is my husbando ^^

Awww! I hope you are doing ok. That's a lot to go through, especially this time of year. *hugs* I would love to write Kanetsugu for you but I don’t know him well enough yet. So I hope Mitsuhide will make you smile ^_^ Approx. 800 words

Mitsuhide looked over the wagons with interest. Everything they would need from his manor in Azuchi was packed now, along with the supplies they would need for their journey. It felt strange to know his life could fit into these wagons so neatly, as if he’d never been here. 

The only thing missing was his little mouse. She wasn’t near the wagons or anywhere in sight. 

He walked through the halls and rooms slowly, an odd sense of disconnection welling unexpectedly in his chest. There was nothing of him left here. Nothing of the life he now shared with the chatelaine. It was as if he’d never existed, as if his memories were mere wishful fictions. 

The intensity of the feeling surprised him. He had not thought to miss this place. 

As Mitsuhide turned a corner, he spotted his little one. She stood on a balcony overlooking the Azuchi castle courtyard. There were people moving around below. He spotted Masamune and Keiji joking with some soldiers. Mitsunari hurrying along with an armful of books. Hideyoshi helping a made carry kitchen supplies. 

She was watching them so intently that she didn’t notice Mitsuhide come up behind her. Tears slid down her cheeks, catching the afternoon sunlight. Her lips were pressed to a thin line, holding back any sound. 

It hurt him to see her like this. Not because she was sad, but that she tried to hide it from him. Refusing to share the burden. He knew it was one of the ways she tried to protect him - to guard his heart - but he wanted to be the one she could share anything with. Good and bad and all that lay between.

Mitsuhide put his arm around her as he came up to stand at her side. 

She didn’t say anything at first, just leaned against him. They stood like that for several moments more. Just watching the life below.

“I’m going to miss them all so much.” The words quietly punctured the silence, barely louder than a sigh.

“I will as well.” It surprised him to find that this was true. He’d always told himself the other warlords were co-workers. Tools to reach toward his ideals. Pawns. But . . . they were friends. People that had laid their marks across his heart. And he would miss seeing them each day.

She wrapped her arms around him, turning from the view to bury her face into the folds of his kimono. “I-it’s stupid to cry about it. I know.”

He held her tightly. “It is not.”

“B-but they are all going to be ok. W-we can visit. Write.”

“We can.”

“But it isn’t the same.” She wiped her at her face.

Mitsuhide pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “It won’t be.”

She sniffed. “That’s not very comforting.”

“Isn’t it?” He smiled as gently as he knew how. “Everything changes, little one.”

“Well. I don’t want it to.” She sighed. “What if we could just stay? Nobunaga would let us.”

Mitsuhide nodded. “He would. But then the life we could live together in Fukuchiyama will never happen.” He kissed her temple. “We can stay, if that is what you really want.”

“I . . . no . . . we already packed and - and everyone expects us to go.”

“None of that matters to me as much as you do.” 

She looked up again, meeting his eyes. 

He could see her emotions, the fear and anxiety, sadness for parting, excitement for new possibilities . . . this and more churned in the confines of her spirit. Mitsuhide held her tightly, knowing that she would take comfort from his touch more than his words.

“Sometimes I wish you would just tell me what I have to do.” She sighed. “But I’m glad, I guess, to have a say.”

“What will it be, little one? Shall we stay? Or are we going?”

His little mouse took a breath. “We should go. I know I will miss everyone here. All the friends I’ve made. The life we built in Azuchi. But . . . there will be good things in Fukuchiyama too. I hope.”

“And we will have each other, wherever we are.” Mitsuhide lifted her just enough to kiss her. A gentle, slow kiss that held all the love he had to give her. 

As the wagons left behind, Mitsuhide held tight to his lover’s hand. There would be sorrow, where they were going. But there would also be joy. They would face whatever came next together.

[thattransproxy]

What do you think will happen in the season finale??🤔

Oh my god, I have no idea 😭 you're talking about Sanders sides, yes? Well, one thing I do want to happen is for Janus and Virgil to reveal their past and just fucking make-up bcs my anxceit heart is dying from their hate. I want the enemies to lovers trope ngl lmao.

Logan better be listened to. Like maybe Remus brings it up, which actually makes them fucking listen for once, even though they should've been listening since the beginning since he is LITERALLY logic. It's not fair to him, and it's not good for C!Thomas if they keep ignoring Logan. Let's be honest, without Logan, none of them would be there. Logan is the reason they function. They wouldn't function if he was gone. He's the brain. The brain controls the body and how the mind works. Your creativity comes from your mind, your emotions comes from how your mind feels, your anxiety is started from what you're thinking about, what's going on around you, etc. And your brain will trigger that anxiety. (As someone who has anxiety, I'm going on experience with that. I'm not an expert. Don't come for me), lying comes from you not saying what's truly on your mind. It's your mind saying "don't tell them this. Just lie about it." Either because you're nervous of consequences, nervous of something happening, someone getting hurt, etc. And your intrusive thoughts/dark creativity comes from your mind as well. It comes from what your mind is thinking about in that moment, and it's not always good or sane. Logan needs to be listened to again, and they need to realize that. I'm honestly getting fed up with them at this point.

I feel like Remus owes Logan an apology for that bullshit he pulled in WTIT. It was such a bitch move especially since Logan has never treated Remus and Janus different, like the others did. The others treated them as villains. As someone that shouldn't be there. He never did that. He treated them the same, and he's always listened to them. Remus owes Logan an apology for pulling that shit. (Totally not part of bcs I cried for 2 hours after that-)

Janus might try to help Orange be seen. He doesn't seem to be planning something particularly good considering the whole apple bite thing and the eyes at the endcard of WTIT. I just hope he doesn't hurt anyone in the process. He seems to have redeemed himself as being seen as not a bad side/person. And I feel like he wants to stay that way. So, he better not fuck it up.

Orange will probably show up, kill half the fandoms, including my, theories. Even though, I've seen some people do Rage, Anger, etc. And, if he does end up being one of those, I'll be so confused. Patton is Thomas' emotions. Therefore, he IS Thomas' anger and rage. Because those are emotions. Just like he's Thomas' sadness. Even though my theory is probably wrong, I get easily annoyed when I see people saying "I think it might be anger!" Or "It could be rage!" BECAUSE THOSE ARE PATTON'S EMOTIONS- THOSE ARE PATTON'S JOB TO HAVE 😭😭 (and yes, I still have my theory up here. Wish I could've gotten it to Thomas MONTHS, ((probably years)) AGO- but Twitter has a word limit and I didn't know what to do about that lol)

Roman honestly probably won't even be in that episode. He seems too hurt now to even give a shit. Though he seems to be working hard, (ykyk) I feel like when it comes to the sides, he won't give a shit. He'll be too upset at them. (Especially since he misinterpreted Janus' nod in the Redux. Thomas told Roman he's his hero. Roman looked to Janus. Janus nodded and SMILED at him. That seemed pretty clear to me as "he's right. You ARE still his hero." And Roman misunderstood it.)

And as for Patton and Virgil? I honestly have no idea. Virgil's been out of the picture for quite a fucking while so I have no predictions of anything. Same with Patton. Except he was apart of Redux. Obviously. So I can't say anything since I have nothing to say.

I hope you enjoyed my answer to your ask and don't hate me after the end of it lmao! Have some images I got on Twitter last night from the replies of Ethan's wack post 😭😭

[duckugou]

the blood on our hands

bakugou x gn!reader

aged up!

cw: a n g s t as hell. comfort. cursing, mentions of drinking, smoking, etc. alluding to depression and anxiety. dealing with trauma of missions and losing people. a ton of mentions of blood

this is a heavy topic in the hero universe i imagine- and generally in the mental health world of it all.

lyrics are from purple flowers by ande estrella which hold a very important meaning that has nothing to do with this- they just worked with the story. But fr go listen to it bc its so good.

come to my asks to be a part of my taglist! just let me know what kinds of fics/ what fandom/ what characters/ etc you want to be tagged in! Requests are open!!

------------------------------------------------

reality is heavy and loud

Spacing out was more than being distracted to Y/n. Being a young hero meant stressful situations, overbearing management, tight spaces, stuffy meetings, and so much... blood. It takes a toll on a young person. Of course they wanted to be a hero- wouldn't chose anything else. They grin and bear this shit for a reason- to save and help people.

But god, who saves the heros?

but white has the privilege of washing machines to wash out the stains from their comfortable jeans

Some nights, after wrap-up meetings, everything was a bit too heavy. The usual group of friends and young heroes would choose someone's house to go to in order to destress.

For some, that was smoking. For some, it was drinking, video games, napping, venting, sitting outside alone yet with company. And for some it was merely listening to everyone else.

Not having to make a decision. Not having to be responsible. That's what y/n picked every time.

Bakugou would always notice them alone in the corner of the room. They were the one to come up with destress gatherings after hard missions. Bakugou knew it was so they wouldn't be alone with their thoughts. That's why he would always step in at times like as get them to talk, so those thoughts dont stay trapped in their head.

"Hey." Bakugou muttered, sitting on the floor next to y/n in Denkis apartment.

"Hey."

"You good, dude?" Bakugou asked with genuine concern.

He was always a bit nicer to Y/n. Nobody knew why, yet everyone knew why. They both were fragile and chose to hide it during the day, being strong around others to not raise red flags.

"I'm okay...just. That one was bad. I almost lost that kid. Like she almost fucking- died in my arms." Y/n choked out.

"Hey hey hey, its okay. You got her to the ambulance in time. You did that shit. You always do. You're the best in the game at comforting little twerps." Bakugou attempted to comfort them- somewhat succeeding and holding their head against his chest.

One time, Y/n mentioned that they held kids against their chest during rescues to calm their heartbeat. "If you listen to a calmer heartbeat, you're more likely to try to match it and slow your own down." Of course you wouldn't think Y/n would be able to have a calm heartbeat during a rescue, but they are very talented at controlling their nerves. Part of being a hero.

wiping the blood off their hands to their thighs, wearing the blood of the people who've died

Y/n subconsciously calmed down a bit, Bakugou's ability to remember every word that drips off of Y/n's lips paying off.

"I know. I just can't stop...thinking about everyone I've- we've lost. Its so unfair."

"I know. Hey, you have- uh. Lets go to the bathroom." Bakugou noticed a smudge of blood on Y/n's face and a bit on their hands. Cleaning up was the last thing on their mind earlier on.

"Ok."

Taking each other's hands, they walked into the bathroom. Bakugou sat Y/n on the counter, turning on the sink and grabbing a cloth.

"O-oh god. Thats fucking blood. I thought I washed my h-hands." Y/n began panicking, causing Bakugou to put their hands under the water with soap, washing it all off for them.

Tears mixed with the water from the sink and Bakugou stayed silent. Wiping their face, Bakugou looked into Y/n's eyes. These two have just always known.

They know what people can hide. What secret messages the body language of a person can hold. And he let them grip onto the back of his shirt as he held them in his arms, Y/n not being able to cry anymore and just breathing in his scent from his shoulder.

but dont let the purple flowers fool you

"Listen. We're going to get through this one. I know its hard on you- all of the families involved. But you- we saved them. We're all here for each other right? I'm here for you." Bakugou pulls Y/n back a little to look into their eyes. "You are the strongest one here. I know it fucking hurts. I know it is so...scary-" He sniffles a little, letting his own emotions take over. Something only he did when they were alone together. "- but we're heroes. And human. We are allowed to feel pain and sadness and disappointment- but we're heroes for a reason, right? We can handle this shit."

"I know we can. We always have. Just... promise you'll never leave me?"

"Youre so stupid. I've been more careful lately." He scoffs, wiping tears from his face. He of course knew that Y/n was referring to a few weeks ago when Bakugou got too caught up in the mission and was almost crushed by debris. He was pulled away in time by a fellow hero but it still opened his eyes, as well as Y/n, to how fragile they are, even if they are the heroes.

"I know Kats, but please. You're my rock in here. You're my person." Y/n says looking into his eyes.

"And you're my person. I can't leave you behind. You wouldn't know what to do without me here." Bakugou chuckles, earning a shove from Y/n.

"Katsuki." Y/n starts, holding his hands in their own.

"Yeah." He sighs.

"I don't speak lightly of feelings, you know that right?"

"Of course I know that. You don't talk much about those to anyone-"

"Except you." They interrupt Bakugou, reminding him of the importance of their unspoken bond and making his heart race.

"Yeah."

"Then you'll know how hard it is for me to say this. But- Katsuki I think I love you. I know we aren't super affectionate outside of being alone but- I've never felt what I feel with you before. I understand if you don't feel the same way and if this was all just because you felt bad but I needed to tell you that because you're really important and this is very import-"

Bakugou, in the most cliche turn of events, cuts Y/n off with a kiss to shut them up.

Pulling away, Bakugou rests his forehead on Y/n's .

"I love you too. I thought that was obvious when I never stopped you from saying my first name, idiot." He chuckles lightly.

"I kinda figured you at least liked me-"

"I'm going to keep you safe forever. That means physically and emotionally. No more hiding any feelings from me just because there are people around. Pull me aside. Hold me if you need or want to- I dont care if the whole world sees that. But just- fuck Y/n. I know you feel fragile. I know what it's like to be scared and hide it. I'm your diary now, ok? Always."

"Thank you...Katsuki. Fuck. You're everything I've ever needed. Plus youre kinda cute too I suppose." Y/n giggles.

"Oi fuck off." Bakugou kisses them again, relieved that he can finally be himself with Y/n, that he has them finally.

"I'm your diary too them, okay? I mean it. Anything, any time, say the word." Y/n says lightly, squeezing Bakugou's hand.

"Fuck. I love you."

"I love you too. I love how that sounds coming from you by the way."

"Me the fuck too-" Bakugou was interrupted by a loud yelling-

"I GOTTA PISSSSSS" followed by banging on the door.

"MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK SO FAST THEN LIGHT WEIGHT!" Bakugou responds, recognizing the voice of Denki.

"DONT MAKE FUN OF MEEEE I'LL LAUGH AND PEE MYSELF" Denki whined.

"Let's go, angel." Bakugou whispers into Y/n's hair, kissing them on the head and helping them off of the counter.

[sinfulwrites]

So I was watching TCM the beginning (again) bc Tommy is my comfort slasher 🥲 and the part where the movie flashes some of Tommy's childhood never fails to make me emotional esp when it's revealed he'd self mutilate his face because of his skin condition. I would have done literally anything to tell him there was nothing wrong with his face and try to ease that hurt with love and care :( but I also relate because I developed a bad habit of cutting myself and peeling my bottom lip early in my childhood bc of anxiety & abusive parents; I no longer cut myself, and I'm on medication/feeling better than ever & away from said parents so this isn't a sad post, I swear!! But I can't seem to stop peeling my lips once I've started until my bottom lip is completely busted, bleeding out, and peeled. And it never fully gets a chance to heal because I end up doing it again and again. I've been trying to stop for years, and sometimes I have really good weeks where I won't mess with my lips but I always seem to unconsciously do it again. And tonight when I rewatched those scenes I thought of how Tommy would probably do anything to ease me out of self harming if I was his s/o but we're both the type to want the best for our loved ones while not believing we deserve the same so we'd definitely be in an endless cycle of 'no YOU' when it came to being affectionate and supportive about our insecurities/healing our bad habits :') so from now on I'll try to remind myself of that every time I feel the urge to do so ♡

"So I was watching [insert movie] (again)" is the whole vibe for this fandom and I'm honestly vibing with it. And yes, I'm 100% included. I watched TCM The Beginning this morning before work 😭

God, it broke my heart too. Every time I see that blade touch his cheek I just wanna yell "no!" 💔

It's always easier than being told "just stop doing it," and Thomas knows that. That's why when he catches you unknowingly messing with your lip by gently taking your hand and urging you to follow him. He found some cards, wanna play a game?

He will find anything he can around the room to use as a distraction. If there's nothing? He is the distraction. He will sit next to you if he can and will wrap his arm around you, and if that's not enough to get your attention (which I doubt 😭) he will ease you into a hug with the hand touching your lip.

If he can't sit with you, instead he will hold his hands out to you for you to take. Wanna go on a walk?

He knows the best solution is to distract you, and he will drop anything to help you. Nothing he has to do is more important than you. Unless the house is on fire.

You me and Thomas are the same. 😭 I too constantly uplift people, but I don't think I deserve the same in return.

It definitely gets trapped in the "no, you!" loop.

He may try to distract you with kisses.

It's a healthy competition of affection.

I can see why Tommy is a big comfort slasher for you, I can definitely agree with you there 🥺❤

[linawritestwst]

congrats on 100 followers! i love your blog so much! may i please request something for the match up event? i use she/her pronouns and if it’s helpful at all my personality type is infp. i’m a biology student who absolutely adores all sorts of animals and wildlife! i try to work hard at my studies but unfortunately i have pretty bad anxiety and depression so my motivation is killed a lot of the time, i struggle to leave the house sometimes as well bc of social phobia… i really love anime and gaming and it’s most of what i do in my spare time, i like shounen/seinen/horror anime and jrpg/story heavy mobile gacha lol. i also really enjoy art and try to draw a fair bit, i like making up characters and pretending i have my own manga series sometimes 😭 i get told i am quite empathetic and get emotional really easily if someone isn’t happy, i always try to treat people with understanding and kindness bc that’s what i would want for myself and i know how awful it feels to be made fun of and hurt by other people. i cry very, very easily and people call me childish a lot because of that + the fact that i like giving hugs to people all the time and i’m really fond of plushies still and take them everywhere with me… i’m pretty bad at cheering people up when they’re sad bc i’m so awkward and bad at vocalising my feelings, but i really do try my best! i spend a lot of time seeing the world through a depression-coloured fog, but i do believe that there’s a lot of beauty out there that i just can’t see yet! it might be scary, but i want to keep working my hardest so i can appreciate how amazing the world i was born into is, because when i become aware of how pretty nature is, i become a lot happier.

a first matchup request, yay!! thank you so much for sending a request and i'm happy to hear that you love my blog <3

now, let's see which character i think you would be most compatible with, shall we?

and i think it would be..

malleus draconia!

i'll explain why i think you two would be a really cute couple!

let's start with your mbti type. you're an infp and according to most websites and articles, infps have the best compatibility with entjs, enfjs and people that have "nf" in their mbti type. malleus (according to personality database) is an intj, but i've looked at some mbti compatibility charts and intjs get along surprisingly well with infps! (they definitely have their differences, but i think it's more interesting that way and some websites say that it's actually better for "perceiving" types to be with "judging" types)

malleus would love to listen to you talk about animals and nature. he may know some information already, but it's much more interesting to hear it from you than anyone else. he thinks it's adorable how passionate you are about such topics. he also will totally mention what he learned from you while talking to lilia and others, saying how smart you are for knowing that.

malleus admires you for trying to study even though you suffer from anxiety and depression. if you need any help, please let him know, okay? he will always be glad to listen, he may not know everything you're going through, but he still wants to help you and give you some advice.

please talk to him about anime and games. he wants to know more. also malleus should try playing something other than "gao-gao dragon-kun" for a change. (not like it's bad or anything, but trying something new is always good) i think he would enjoy some story-heavy games as well! (no complicated gameplay, just reading text, malleus is doing his best and playing visual novels) also he would love if you talked to him about your characters! you may not have your own manga now, but you may have one in the future!

YOU BEING KIND TO HIM... HE'S SOFT. he just wants someone to not be afraid of him and he would appreciate your support and kindness greatly! even if it's just an awkward attempt to comfort him, it's still important him. also he would never make fun of you for crying often, maybe it can be a little bit sudden for him, like?? why are you crying, oh no, did he do something wrong? but he will do anything to help you calm down. also he loves your hugs.

he doesn't mind you being clingy at all, in fact, he may even kinda like that. come on, this guy is so lonely, him having a girlfriend that likes to spend a lot of time with him makes him so soft ;w; he may get a little nervous if you suddenly stop talking to him for some time (what if you were afraid of him from the start and decided to leave him?), but once he learns the reason why, he will understand.

he thinks it's beautiful how no matter what happens and despite how scared you are, you still think that this world is amazing and you try to hope for the best. he feels like he could learn a lot from you.

while i was writing notes about who could be the good match for you, i also thought of lilia as the other candidate, i actually almost chose him!

i hope i've done well and this matchup is okay!

[stargaze-issei]

ᴅᴀʏ 𝟷𝟼; ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴀᴛᴛʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ

-> shimizu kiyoko.

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; kiyoko evokes memories of her lost love.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; mentions of death, grieving.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 1.4k

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; angst.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; yeah u should listen to mr loverman by rick montgomery bc i wrote it while listening to that song 😃 yes i killed the reader what y'all gonna do bout it

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kiyoko couldn't remember a time withouth your bright smile in her days, scaring the gray clouds away. you would sit outside her house, right by her side, sharing laughs and secrets. kiyoko kept those memories lock inside her mind, as her most precious secret, and she would always do it, no matter how long it passed.

"kiyo look! i made a ring with a flower!" her eyes, hid behind a big pair of glasses, showed amazement. she didn't care that your hands were covered in dirt after playing on the garden for hours while she read, safely on a bench, following your every move. "give me your hand" you demanded, grabbing it by yourself without giving her time to react.

despite your usual energic being, like most eight years old, whenever you were around your friend, she felt like fine china. a sudden feeling of fear ran down her back, accompanied by a warmness in her belly. you took her ring finger, placing your newest work on it with more care than ever in your life, affraid you would hurt her. to you, and everyone actually, kiyoko was like a porcelain doll. her fair skin, her beautiful face, her sweet voice, confirmed your hypothesis. the first time you saw kiyoko in the playground, you had to ask your parent if she was a real girl, because you've never seen someone that pretty.

"o-only married couples share rings, y/n" she said quietly, going over your gift with her free hand. leaving aside her complain, she seemed to be delighted with it.

"then we'll get married, and i'll give you all the rings in the world!"

shimizu had those words inked on her brain for quite a while, even now ten years later, they would come back. she wasn't sure if it was a memory or a dream anymore. her phone vibrated on her night table, showing a text from tanaka saying he was on his way there, with a sigh, she got up from her bed, thinking on making something to eat for her boyfriend. on days like that, she would prefer being alone, but she couldn't say no to him. he was good to her.

the girl walked down the hall which connected the living room with the dorms, looking at the walls, searching for you with her eyes. a smile formed on her lips when she saw the picture, you eternally kissing her cheek, grabbing onto her face, making her smile more brightly than ever in her life. she thanked her mom internally for taking that picture, after all, it was the only one you two had. her fingers reached your image, following your traces as if that way, she could actually feel your skin against her again. kiyoko always regretted not kissing you one more time, not holding you in her arms for a second longer.

"try to sleep, or you'll end up falling asleep in the middle of the race tomorrow" kiyoko smiled at your sleepy voice, she knew you were sleeping when she decided on calling you, despite knowing you wouldn't get mad, she still felt a little guilty for waking you in the middle of night.

"i can't sleep, i'm too nervous" it was your turn to smile, thinking on how cute she must've looked while talking. it was almost a routine, her anxiety appearing before an important competition. "can you talk to me, please?"

her wishes were granted, you started talking about the last show you watched, in a low, soft tone. you were aware kiyoko felt safe with you, safe enough to sleep with you, and how she found comfort on you. you still felt reluctlant to her only being able to sleep at the sound of your voice, but her kitten like snores came sooner than usual. you found yourself laying in bed, eyes closed, listening to her sounds, and a while later, you too fell in morpheous arms.

a knock on the door scared her memories away, leaving her on the verge of tears. she hurried to the bathroom, trying to wash off the hints of sadness in her face before letting ryunosuke in. he kissed her as a greeting, hugging her by the waist. kiyoko wanted to get away, like the act was disrespectful to your memory. she knew she was wrong though, you wouldn't want her sulking for the rest of her life, thinking of what could've been if life wasn't so damn awful.

"brought dinner" smiled her boyfriend, not realizing what was she going through. it itsn't his fault, kiyoko thought, he doesn't even know she existed.

they set the table for two, talked a little while eating and watched a movie. tanaka wasn't good at taking hints, but even him sensed there was something wrong. he excused himself at midnight, saying he needed something from his house for work tomorrow, maybe she needed some time alone. kiyoko was grateful, because she kept thinking she was cheating on you. so stupid, i can't cheat on someone who isn't here.

kiyoko laid in bed once again, hugging a pillow. it always happened around this time of the year, she should be used to it by now, according to her old therapist. except that she wasn't, not at all. you were always on her mind, but these days she just couldn't escape. it killed her to think about all the broken promises, the things left unsaid. you had plans together, so many plans. in middle school, she longed the day you would travel with each other, conquering the world by your side. she wanted to go back home and find you there, kiss you every night and every morning, have children with you and grow old together as you had done until that day, to know it would never be possible was enough to make her feel miserable.

she kept a box under her bed, almost empty, with the last few things she had of you. a shirt you wore to sleep, a rushed note saying how much you loved her and an old stuffed bear kiyoko won for you at a carnival. that was all she could find in her house of you after the incident, all she was allowed to keep. the first few months she couldn't even bring herself to look at your belongings, how was it possible that your whole existence was reduced to this? you were so much things to kiyoko, nowhere near what those stuff represented. you were love, you were happiness, you were freedom, you were all kiyoko wanted in life and you were ripped away from her.

at two a.m, she found herself once again awake, but she was well aware of the fact that you weren't there to save her anymore. what was she supposed to do when she needed you, more than ever? in a mess of tears, she went outside, headed for her car. the air was cold, hostile, like it was warning her to stay home. the mostly empty streets were perfect for her desperate speed, barely stopping at red lights. she made a road of twenty minutes in ten, a road she hadn't done in quite a while. nonetheless, she knew what she was looking for was still there. kiyoko ran out her car when she got there, crossed the gate, gaining a suspicious look from the guard. she walked towards you, knowing the way a little too well for someone who didn't visit in years.

your name read in the grave, and the remaining force she had in her legs was suddenly gone. tears drowned her sight, holding tightly to the ground beneath hear. sometimes, kiyoko questioned herself if you really existed, she lost all contact with your family after, not being able to see anyone who looked like you, but in that moment, all her supressed memories came back. your first kiss, a peck on the lips, so fast that it might've not even happened, only it did, and it was followed by deeper, better kisses, and eternal love declarations. the first time she held your hand, how flustered you got over her taking the initiative. falling asleep in your arms, you caressing her hair. you kissing her strech marks, promsing you loved her just as she was. the image of your happy self, bursting into cheerings everytime she won a race, filled with pride. all your picnics together, beach days, roadtrips, night snick outs.

everything was real, kiyoko was sure of it. your love for her was real, her love for you couldn't be stopped, not even by death. it hurt so bad, all she wanted to do was see you one more time, feel your warm body against hers. she needed you with her, and it was tearing her apart.

[fbwzoo]

(1/?) Anxious about pets anon here! Thank you for your reply, I adapted all your tips and already feel better :) In my first ask I almost talked about my situation sounding a bit hoarderish but didn't to keep it short but I realized I prolly should've! So I'm gonna explain myself a bit better now that I'm calm, I'll try to keep this short but I have a tendency to ramble so I apologize for the length in advance. Also gonna call myself 🌱 from now on since Anxious about pets anon is a bit long!!

(2/?) Normally getting two geckos and turts in a couple weeks is definitely a red flag and if I saw someone do that I'd definitely side-eye them. I do not support getting so many animals this fast at all which is why it freaked me out so badly and it's something I never want to do/experience again. I find preparing and caring for a new (species of) pet for the first few weeks very stressful to begin with, so doing so for multiple species simultaneously with little to no warning has been awful.

(3/?) However the reason I ended up in the situation at all was because I had seen a post online about a leopard gecko that was for sale enclosure & supplies included for fairly cheap, so I opened it for fun. Turned out the geck was actually in my area and the set up was not... Very good. So I talked with the seller and came to the conclusion I could take him as my own leo struggles to keep up with the phase my feeders breed anyway so I had the means to do so

(4/?) All is good, I'm getting a leo (picking him up this weekend). No biggie, except oh no. I find a morph of created gecko I have been looking for & I've had an empty set up waiting for this moment for ages. I'm a bit put off by the timing as I don't really like the idea of buying two pets in such a little amount of time, but it's too late for I have fallen in love and I justify getting him bc I've been prepared for this for a long time and it also happened to be my birthday that day. 

(5/?) Still, took a bit of a hit from it and looking back I would still classify it as an impulse buy as I had not expected to run into the crestie that day even if I had been prepared for a while. This has also been the first time I haven't waited 12+ months between purchasing animals which planted the seed of anxiety in me and the word "hoarder" did cross my mind a couple times but I ignored it, mostly because I knew I'm not one and thought it was silly to think that, but also cuz it scared me 

(6/?) Fast forward a few days I'm talking with the leo seller again. I ask why they're getting rid of it and they tell me they're quitting the hobby so they're rehoming everyone. In curiosity I ask what other animals do they keep and we talk about it for a bit till they say "everyone else already has a home except this baby turtle, no one wants him". I have no interest in getting a turtle, but like a fool & out of wanting to be educated I ask about the species as I'm not very familiar with turts

(7/?) I thought I made it clear I'm not going to take him before the chat but as the 'educational' convo went on the seller was actually picking apart my reasons why not & as pets are a special interest of mine I engaged very enthusiasticly w/o realising. At the end of the chat they said "I'm glad they're both going to a good home". I had missed two of my latest therapy sessions & have severe difficulty telling people no so I replied with "I'm just trying to help" & had a panic attack.

(8/?) It was too late to back down now so I'm getting a turtle. But with that what I was getting as well was more anxious and I spent the next day in bed, which helped. I opened up about it to a close friend, and instead of them reassuring me they told me they've been meaning to ask me if I could take a tortoise (that turned out to be a turtle as well) out of their friends hands. I said Im not sure if this is the right time, and my friend asked me to think about

(9/?) I ask my friend why does this turtle need a home anyway, he tells me the owners travel a lot and that the turtle is loved but neglected. I felt sad. My friend knows how I'm gonna react if someone comes to me directly to ask for help, especially if it's about a suffering animal. I grind my teeth & talk with the owners telling them I'll see what I can do, then I get a text telling me my friend has already made a plan how to deliver the 100g aquarium to my apartment.

(10/?) Even when I may not have wanted the turtles I'm glad if I get to make their lives more enjoyable. I will give them my everything and do my best to provide a good home for them. Tho it does hurt me my discomfort is secondary to other people when they know I will agree to things as long as they apply enough pressure, especially when I'm already vulnerable, but I suppose it's my fault too for not communicating well enough and for allowing them to take advantage of my difficulties

(11/11) Sorry this turned out a LOT longer than expected!! You don't have to post it I just wanted to let you know I didn't just wake up one day and decide to expand my family by half, but that it was more of a gradual process that I found myself unable to stop even when I wanted to, & will work with my therapist so I can be prepared for these situations in the future. Thank you again for the advice, it has helped me feel better! Ps. I will update when all the pets are here and settled down! -🌱

I hope you don’t mind me posting, I wanted to share your story with others, especially in case anyone was still worrying about the situation!

I’m sorry that you had so many people stomp all over your boundaries, especially your friend. That was super not cool of them. :/ I understand having difficulty saying no, especially when you’re wanting to help animals - I have issues with that too. I’m glad that you’re so aware of the problem & that you have a plan to work on it though!

Also I wanted to add one more bit of advice - keep in mind that you do not have to be the forever home for every one of these animals. Especially if you find yourself getting overwhelmed or having difficulty with care. You have to take care of yourself as well as the animals. I know turtles can be a fair amount of work and money to set up well, and while I know you said you’re up for the challenge, I just want to make sure you give yourself some room to breathe. If you do find that you’ve taken on more than you can deal with, it’s okay to look into options for rehoming some of the animals, and that doesn’t make you a bad person. I can definitely vouch for the experience of finding yourself in over your head & needing to take a step back and find a better place for a pet, even when it’s really hard! I know these words might not be necessary, but I just wanted to make sure someone said them, in case you needed to hear it. ♥

Thank you for the update and further explanation, and I hope everyone settles in well! I look forward to more updates if/once you’re able to do so. :) 

[willlows-blog1]

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