#bc i find that sort of thing very negative

[oifaaa]

Idk if you're still doing the assumption game, but here's another one: you have feelings about Alfred Pennyworth, and they aren't good feelings.

(Aka you don't like Alfred)

Is this really something you have to assume I feel like this is just a known fact like if I had a wiki page in the trivia section it'd just say "Oifaaa does not like Alfred the butler"

[hermitcraftx]

just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.

no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this

[nereidprinc3ss]

mojave ghost

in which spencer reid spends the night with fem!reader—a total stranger—because she just feels so familiar. based on the song "my life in art" by Mojave 3.

18+ (implied intimacy) warnings/tags: based on a song about a stripper who runs away from her abusive boyfriend. tws for mentions of physical abuse. r has bruises from pole dancing. a little ooc bc Spencer hooks up with someone he just met but that's the point and if u know him like I do u know its not completely impossible. mentions of typical cm violence/murder. one brief mention of spencer's addiction. spencer's childhood trauma and abandonment. it's kind of just a heavy one, lmk if i'm missing anything a/n: I doooo suggest you listen to the song first just to feel the vibe of the piece and also how it is literally about Spencer Reid. and also bc its gorjus. anyways its been a while and this is not my most standard content but pls lmk what u think and if u liked it <3

He shouldn’t have done it. 

But when he saw you, sitting in a metal folding chair next to some peeling veneered-desk, his breath caught. Something primal deep in his stomach tugged the way it does when he finds little external fragments of himself, calling out to him—usually nonhuman objects. He’s seen himself in books, still warm from the hands that held them but ultimately forgotten on a bench or in the airport, needles in alleys or in between tiles on his bathroom counter, in shards of glass, in a hundred open wounds and dead animals, abstractly gutted on the side of the street. 

When he does see himself in a person, it’s in alarming glimpses. The man in the sleeping bag on the corner who talks to people that aren’t there. The lost child crying on the subway platform, rooted to the spot and still gripping the straps of their little backpack with responsible fists. It’s never anything he wants to know about himself, but this identification, this taxonomy and recognition of sameness—it’s so strong it stops him in his tracks, every time. He never really relates to the people he’s supposed to. Not Hotch. Not Gideon. Not even Maeve, in the way he’d so naively hoped for. Three people, all incredibly intelligent, at times standoffish. Used to being on the outside. All still possessing things and redemptive qualities he doesn’t. And what Spencer has secretly believed about himself for what has recently become a very long time, is that he is defined by his lack. The shape of him is made of negative space. He feels like whatever is in your lungs when you’ve pushed all the air out. 

And then, you. 

Physically, you look nothing alike. And he stops and lurches and does a double take like he’s seen his doppelgänger or been startled by his own reflection in a passing window anyway. Maybe it’s the way you hold yourself—hunched, foot tapping, head hung but still scanning the room, ever vigilant as you pick at your nails. You want to be small. You want to fold in yourself so many times you become a black hole. Spencer knows this. 

Something calls out from deep inside him, from all around him, that is not quite in his voice, but feels like grasping and reaching. 

I know you, I know you. 

He doesn’t catch himself in time before he’s walking toward you like he’s been waiting for you. 

Of course your head snaps up at the same time as he stops, and your eyes are shiny but not teary—frozen over with a layer of thick, dark ice like you’d carried the cold inside with you. You look caught. He searches for some sort of recognition in your eyes, anything to betray the fact that you have met before, because he never forgets a face but he knows what familiarity feels like and he can’t remember meeting you. 

His throat forms around something but the wrong word comes out. Halting, like he’s trying to lasso it and pull it back in. 

“Hi.” 

You pull your scarf down—a deep Roman purple—to reveal a pretty mouth, lips chapped by the unforgiving freeze outside. 

“Hello,” you say, politely, considering his probably strange behavior. He gives you a proprietary scan. Utility coat over a thick grey sweater. Jeans, cuffed at the bottom but still nearly too long, probably belted, although he can’t tell from the posture and the sweater. Brown boots. Your bag is a frayed tapestry of neutrals and patches. Fingerless knit gloves. You’ve given yourself false density, let the clothes swallow you up. Shapeless. Nearly faceless, magnet eyes framed between the scarf and the hat. But you’ve got a name. Everyone has a name. There’s yet to be anything humanity has discovered and not bothered to name. 

He forgets to ask. You clear your throat. 

“Um, I spoke to someone on the phone—Aaron, I think? We’re supposed to talk.”

Spencer tries to pick his jaw up off the floor. 

“Yeah, um, I can—I’ll… go get him.”

He turns away and breathes for the first time since he saw you, but he feels you behind him. He’s aware of exactly where you are in relation to the back of his head, he can feel you, like a hot spot, all the way to Hotch’s door. He lets himself in, slipping between as small a gap as he can manage and shutting the door gently behind him. Hotch looks up, not noticeably displeased at having been interrupted in his endless paperwork. 

What Spencer learns from his boss is this: you live in DC. You heard about a murder in Kansas—a girl, her hair still a fine, pale cornsilk. Barely not a child. You heard the details, and you called the cops, because you swear to god you know who did it, and they told you there was nothing they could do and gave you the number of someone who might be able to help, and so you followed a bureaucratic trail of phone numbers designed to discourage until you got to the BAU. Hotch says he’s going to interview you, but it’s probably nothing. 

“Actually, I’d like to do it if that’s okay.”

Hotch frowns deeper than usual.

“Why?”

Spencer swallows. Hesitates. 

“I finished my incident report early.”

Though he clearly has his reservations about Spencer’s sudden interest, Hotch is knee-deep in paperwork. So that’s how Spencer ends up in the round table room with you. 

You look too young, too raw to have been married, but you’re rubbing at your ring finger with the adjacent thumb like something is bothering you there. An absence that has become a presence. Negative space. You see things that aren’t there. Spencer knows that, too. Maybe you’re the kind of person who could look at him and see something.

That is his most intimate fantasy. He imagines it with you and feels the same kind of illicit shame and bloodied, starving hunger other people feel when they imagine sex or drugs or ravaging power; the way anyone imagines anything they want and can’t have.  

But he can’t put that kind of pressure on you. He can’t hold expectations like that. You’re a stranger. 

“Do you always do that?”

He points to your fiddling and gets that sour feeling in his throat he always does when he says something and wishes he hadn’t said it. That probably doesn’t show on his face. Most things don’t show on his face. Or maybe they do and nobody has bothered to tell him. 

You flex your pretty hand and then make a fist like you’ve been burned, probably to stop the compulsion. When you give a self-deprecating laugh, Spencer feels incredibly guilty for having pointed it out. But he doesn’t know how to talk to you. And at the same time, he almost expects it’ll be like talking to himself. Only nobody will give him odd looks. 

“Uh… old habit. I used to spin my wedding ring around when I was nervous.”

Used to. You’re especially too young to have been divorced. 

“You’re nervous?”

Your eyes flash as you look up to him. With what, he doesn’t know. Lightning, maybe. Electrical impulses that are a little less well insulated in you than in everyone else. 

But maybe he’s projecting. 

“Yeah. I feel crazy. But I was with a guy for a while who—and he was from Kansas—who would always, like, talk about… about hurting people. And I thought it was a joke at first, but… he laughed, at other people’s pain. He liked to hurt people. And animals. His dad had a farm, so I thought it was maybe he was just cavalier about life and death, but it was more than that. And he lived… he lived in that town. Where that girl died. He probably knew her. I… I probably knew her.”

Spencer’s heart sinks and he clears his throat like the force could bring it back up the right level again. 

You’re not his soulmate. You’re just paranoid. Looking for answers and resolution, like everybody else. 

The piece of himself he saw in you was just free radical damage. Instability. 

“Did he ever kill anyone before?”

“Wh—not that I know of. But I don’t really think he would’ve told me.”

But you would’ve known. You’re here because you’re lost. 

“Did he ever seriously injure anyone?”

You swallow and sit up a little straighter. Heat lightning in your eyes, again. It makes him feel something. He sits up too, despite your indignance, because it’s entrancing. 

“Yes.”

“How so?”

“He… he…” you melt as quickly as you inflated and go back to spinning a ring that’s not there. It’s like watching technicolor go to black and white. “He’d beat people up. He cut them with broken beer bottles and… yeah. A lot of other shit. He was just… he was crazy. He wasn’t… okay.”

The way your gaze flickers back and forth like you’re reading pages of a book or perhaps in REM as you recount in vague detail what your ex had done clues Spencer into the fact that you’re extremely traumatized. The way you make sure to emphasize that your clearly abusive ex wasn’t okay clues him into the fact that you care too much. That you’re too quick to excuse people’s bad behavior, or dismiss it, because you know how it feels to be dismissed entirely and you don’t want to make anyone else feel the way you’ve felt. 

Or maybe he’s still projecting. Maybe he’s idealized you in these few short minutes since you met and he’s too far gone. Maybe he should’ve let Hotch do this interview after all. In fact, he absolutely should’ve. 

But the worst thing by far he did was ask to walk you to your car after all was said and done. 

The interview went on for over two hours, and he’d learned things about you he suspects you’ve never told anyone before, and thus has learned about himself, and the building is mostly empty when you finally leave. The work day is over. So he selfishly asks you to wait while he gathers his things—buttons his coat, wraps his scarf, packs his bag—and then he soaks in the silence on the elevator because it’s that terrible, beautiful space between where you first cross the line and when you do something unforgivable. Asking to walk you to your car was crossing the line. 

Sleeping with you was unforgivable. 

And he didn’t care. Maybe he knew he was going to do this from the moment he saw you. Spencer never does this. The knowing that it was going to happen is quite a distinct flavor of intuitive knowledge and it was always on the back of his tongue. 

You’re silver and purple, a streak, a blur, you move too fast to keep up with and even when you’re perfectly still the atoms around you scramble like they’re jonesing. You inspire movement. You are movement. But he gets to see you slow, and despite having known you only a few hours, he knows this is nothing short of a natural phenomenon. A once in a lifetime sort of shooting star. That’s where the silver comes in. 

The purple, though—it’s in strange places. Around your upper arm. Between your thighs. On your knees and shins and hips. The first time he noticed it he couldn’t ignore it, but he couldn’t very well ask what’s hurting you while he was touching you in a way that was decidedly not painful, if he wanted to keep it that way. And he did. He wanted to keep you looking at him through half-lidded eyes like he was something to see. 

Still, he can’t notice it and then fuck you without saying something—or maybe he could, and you desperately want him to and you ask for it and maybe most people would, but he won’t—so he brings it up. 

“I lead a very active life,” is your whispered excuse, shaped by a smile that is something like mischievous. And then you’re kissing his flushed neck and making your descent and so he can’t ask very many questions. 

It’s only in the precarious after that he can fit his questions in, which is dumb and he knows that, because you’re a dizzying contradiction of cagey and flighty and really the slightest thing will send you running. It’s funny how he knows that after a few hours and sex. Sex can tell you so much about a person. Spencer has compiled all the data from his experiences and decided sex is radically more effective a profiling tool than interview. 

You’re on his pillow, lying on your stomach, and his hand is in your hair. Falling in love is quite a distinctive taste as well. Or at least, the recognition that if you spend enough time around a person you will, beyond a shadow of a doubt, fall in love with them. It is almost the same thing. It aches because it’s there and the proper thing to do is pretend it’s not. 

And his hand is in your hair. And your eyes are closed, and you look like you might fall asleep, and he should be beyond grateful for all of these things. He is. 

But that pesky desire to ameliorate, to improve and make better, and fix and heal, is too strong. Probably it’s the only way he thinks anyone will love him, is if he makes himself useful. That’s no revelation to him. The thought is not shocking whatsoever. It’s just true. 

So he asks again. You blink your eyes a quarter of the way open. 

“Hazard of the job.”

“What job?”

You make a noncommittal noise of reluctance—a discontented puppy’s whine, half-asleep. 

“I’m a circus freak.”

He laughs and remembers to keep scratching your scalp. The way you smile, eyes closed, is infectious. 

“Yeah? What’s your act?”

“Guess,” you challenge through the remnants of a smile, oozing satisfaction and glowing like a star. 

When he pauses to regard you, to seriously consider, studying the curve of your cheek and the color of your lips, you open your eyes again. 

“Tightrope walker,” he finally says, earnestly, so soft it could tear down the middle like gauze. 

Your answer is a smile into the dark. “How’d you know?”

The corner of his mouth vies higher. 

“I sensed a kindred spirit.”

Silence floods the room again, slowly, thickly, like molasses. It’s pleasant. You’re still here, in his bed, and he’s still measuring time with the pendulum of his hand in your hair. 

“What do you really do?” 

He expects you to be asleep. 

“Dancer.” Your lips hardly move as you say it, inflectionless, immediate. If his hand falters, it’s only momentarily. That explains the bruising, and so is a relief, as far as he’s concerned. But perhaps his silence is misconstrued. “Do you want me to go?”

It certainly doesn’t seem like you want to go. Your eyes aren’t even open. 

He keeps his voice low and gentle like maybe you really are asleep. 

“Why would I want you to go?”

“Don’t… do that.”

“What?”

“Don’t act like you’re not judging me.”

“I’m not judging you. I’m from Vegas. Your job is not a novelty to me.”

This time when your eyes slide open, there is a new, curious light behind them. 

“Really?”

He nods, distracted by a freckle just beneath your eye. 

“When I was ten I ran into my bus driver wearing two quarters as a shirt. And we weren’t even on the strip. We were in a Texas Roadhouse parking lot.”

You snort with laughter and it’s melodic, like twinkling crystals, like running water. Even as you hide your face behind your hand, he’s transfixed. God, he’s never cared about being funny before. Now he wants to make you laugh over and over again. He wants to keep you softer than you’ve ever been. The laughter fades slowly and he grieves it—but your hand sliding away from your face like the sun coming up from behind a mountain eases the ache. 

You reach out as if in a trance and run your thumb gently beneath his eye. He holds his breath as you make contact, butterfly light. Nobody has ever touched him like this before. 

“You’re gorgeous,” you murmur. A thoughtless observation. A truth cast to the breeze. Knuckles carefully follow the dip of his cheekbone—a cartographer, learning her way by touch. Marking her territory. He’d let you do it. His eye stings, ready to spring forth a river just so you can have the pleasure of discovering it. “Breathe,” you laugh, softly, and he does. 

“Sorry.”

You don’t say a thing. You let your fingers trace borders into his skin and follow them with soft eyes and he wonders what he’s ever done to deserve this kind of magic. He wonders if he’ll ever feel as good as he does right now, when it’s all over. Nobody has ever paid this much attention to him—but you’re intent, focused, like he’s art. 

“Tell me about Vegas.”

It takes him a moment to reply. 

“Hm?”

He feels bewitched. Warm. Foggy. A thumb brushes over his lips, but it’s only a pass, thank god, because he can hardly stand how you’re touching him already, at the high point of his cheek, beneath his brow. Finally getting enough sometimes feels awfully close to too much. He’s already almost cried once. 

“I wanna hear about Vegas. I’ve always wanted to go. Is it hot?”

Spencer will say whatever you want him to say, but he has to focus a little—like he’s speaking through honey. 

“In the summer, during the day. In the winter at night it drops to below freezing.”

“Desert-y,” you hum.

“Very.”

“Tell me more.”

There’s a rousing hunger in your voice and it reminds Spencer to want you again. He finds your waist and tugs you closer. Who is he with you?

Is he better? 

“There are 175 casinos in the city, but only thirty on the strip. There are 15,000 miles of neon tubing on the strip alone. It’s the brightest place on earth. You can see it from space.”

“Not that.”

Petulant. He loves it. 

His lips find the softness of your shoulder. “Then what?”

The only clue that you can feel what he’s doing to you is the twitch of your fingers on his cheek. 

“Tell me something… tell me exactly how it feels to stand in the middle of the desert. With nobody else around. Tell me things and details I couldn’t know about unless I’ve been there.”

At the junction of your neck, he pauses. This beautiful girl, and her beautiful brain—you are so disarming. So perfect. 

You shiver into him as his fingers brush up the back of your neck, gently pushing away hair so he can learn you everywhere. So he can remember your landscape, just like he’s doing as he closes his eyes and falls into memory. 

A gas station, off the side of the road—seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Desert all around. His dad’s ’79 Ford Fiesta—the one he didn’t take with him when he left. The driver’s door is open. Spencer’s dad has been inside for minutes. Spencer is watching from the middle of the road, because he looked out from the backseat of the Fiesta, and saw that dark, unassuming spot, and thought—how would it feel to be the darkness? What would I see if I were nothing at all?

When he gets there, and he stands on the sun bleached pavement, veined with spiderwebs of tar, and he sees this all from a distance—he realizes he feels exactly the same as he always does. So he pivots his head to the left. The road goes on until it disappears into the smudgy horizon. To the right, it does the same. The earth swells, far away, so many miles, so coal black, so impossible. Hardly even real. But there is something out there, he thinks. There is something, even if nobody else has ever been there, and I want to stand in the middle of it and I will learn how it feels to be nothing. I will not observe—I will become apart of the landscape, with the Joshua trees that have been there for a thousand years, and the rocks that haven’t moved in millennia. 

So he begins to walk. 

The rocks crunch under his feet, and that is the only noise. 

He walks for minutes. He walks until he knows the gas station will be small. He walks until he can feel the emptiness on the back of his neck, until it feels like an embrace. 

“It’s silent,” he hears himself say to you, in some other universe, decades in the future. “At night, it’s completely silent. You can hear yourself breathe. If you throw a pebble ten feet away, you’ll hear it hit the ground.”

Little Spencer takes a deep breath of inky air. 

“It smells like… geosmin.”

“What?”

Perfect. Your voice is perfect. 

“Dirt. But it’s not the same as dirt anywhere else. It’s… drier, like it’s smelled the same way for a really long time.”

Spencer’s cheeks burn. He’s doing a terrible job explaining.

But he feels your breath on his cheek—eager. Your hand at his shoulder as you lean closer, enraptured. Reverent, almost. 

“What else?”

What else?

Dry brush snags on the hem of the corduroys his mother had picked out for him. They’re a little too short. She’s going to try to take him shopping again tomorrow. It’ll work this time—they’ll get to the store. Mom’s just been having some trouble leaving the house lately. 

Rustling leaves skim the tips of his fingers as he reaches out for them, and keeps walking. When was the last time someone touched that shrub?

“There’s vegetation. Creosote, mostly, if you’re in the scrubland. Larrea tridentada. It’s dry—kind of twiggy, with green leaves and yellow flowers in the spring. The smell is bad, like asphalt, but you only notice if you get close.”

He hears his dad calling his name. It fades in and out. 

It’s dizzying, hearing his father’s voice. His father saying his name. 

It’s been a long time. 

“It’s so flat that things don’t echo. But because of the extreme variations in temperature the air pressure sometimes forces the sound waves to the ground and makes it impossible for them to propagate. They’re called the Santa Ana winds. Someone could be standing right next to you and if the wind blows at just the right angle, you won’t be able to hear them. But when it’s still, sound carries far.”

His father is angry. Or is he worried? 

Spencer can make out his dad, pacing frantically back and forth across the gas station pad, white button-up a glowing beacon even from this far away beneath the lone yellow street light. He looks so small. So very far away. Ant-like. 

Santa Ana comes slow—warmer than the night air around him, to ruffle his hair and rustle the dry leaves and blow soft clouds of fragrant sienna dirt around at his knees. It blows through him. For a moment, it wakes the desert up. 

Then it’s passed. It moves further down the desert and leaves Spencer behind. Things settle into silence again. He’s alone again. 

Spencer’s stomach flips as he realizes his father can’t see him this far away, this deep into the dark nothing. 

As he finally feels the enormity of the distance on all sides. 

Suddenly the void behind him is massive. Suddenly it is everything, and it is sucking him deeper. Nobody can see him. He could just disappear into 25,000 square miles of desert. He’s already, what—a thousand feet gone? More? The weight of all the infinite space behind him presses, and he thought it’d feel interesting but it feels like dying and there has never been so much regret or dread curdling in his stomach before. His face crumples, eyes stinging in the dry air, and he takes one step forward, and then another, and then he runs like he’s running for his life. But he doesn’t feel chased—no, that’s the worst part. He is running from an infinite, vacuous, nothing. Dad! He screams, but even this young he knows how sound waves work in the desert and he can tell his dad can’t hear him and he’s running and screaming until his lungs burn, and the scrub lashes at his ankles, and it has been the same for a thousand years and it will stay the same for a thousand more with or without him. Dad, I’m right here! He sobs, the words ripping up his throat with desperation as they go. 

Finally, finally, he’s heard, and he’s close enough to see his dad seeing him, he stops pacing and stares dumbfounded at the little boy appearing from the desert, sneakers slapping cracked asphalt. He gets closer and closer until he can see the lines on his father’s face and the color of his eyes and he sobs as he crashes into him. His dad’s hands are vice-tight around his arms, as Spencer cries and can’t breathe and thrashes like a fish out of water. 

What? Is all his father can manage, tight and baffled and afraid and the first word of a question he doesn’t even know how to ask. He says it again and again, like a skipping record; what—what? What?

On the drive home, Spencer sits in the backseat, a bottle of Bug Juice in his lap. His ankles sting, whipped and bloodied and punished for wearing too-short pants. 

The silence is cloistering and at the same time, completely par for the course. He does not expect his father to speak to him, but he sort of thinks maybe another father would. 

Outside, the black spine of distant mountains rolls on forever and stays impossibly far away. He peers out into the nothing, past what the moonlight can illuminate—and now, he doesn’t have to wonder. He knows how it feels. Imagines another little boy made of shadows, as far away from the road as he’d been, and feels sick from all that fruit juice. He won’t ask his dad to pull over—all he wants is to get rid of that feeling on the back of his neck, like he’s dissolving into space. Like he’s the only thing for miles and miles. 

But the problem is—the feeling doesn’t go away. 

Not in the driveway. Not in the bath. Not in bed, later that night. 

Spencer did a bad thing and he wishes he could go back to normal. He wishes he didn’t get that desert feeling when he was surrounded by other people. But it comes back, again and again. At school. When he tentatively asks for new pants and his mom throws a vase at the wall and then sobs on the floor for forty minutes. When a few weeks later, his dad leaves, and doesn’t take the Ford with him—so it sits under the carport, greets him on his way to school every morning, and over the course of years the windshield turns opaque with dust. 

He hasn’t stopped feeling that way since. 

“You okay?”

A long, soft breath draws him back into his body. Into his bed. 

Not creosote. Not geosmin. Not the Santa Ana winds, coming from the deepest parts of the desert and carrying their desolation to him. Shampoo. Warmth. A girl who smells sort of like him, now—a girl whose perfume is all over his neck and chest and pillow. 

You’re there. You, a stranger. You, a girl he’s going to fall in love with. You—the only person he ever brought into the desert with him. The only person who ever brought him back. 

Point Nemo is not in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Asphodel is not in the underworld. It’s a little less than half a mile out across from an old gas station on the I-15 in the middle of the Mojave desert. 

Spencer nods because he can’t bring himself to speak just yet. 

You smile and take the time to find his hand in the dark. 

“Felt like I was out there with you. Thanks.”

And he squeezes your hand—because for the first time, it feels like someone is going to come looking for him. 

lyrics from my life in art <3

[chronicallyjirai]

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ⟡ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ JIRAI ONLINE SAFETY TIPS ₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ⟡ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

˚₊ the first one that got me to do this entire post: digital footprint IS, in fact, bullshit. however. it is only bullshit if you cannot be googled. the great thing about tumblr is this is a thing by default. as long as you avoid using your full Government Name, say what you like!!

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ⟡ the concern is: if we google (for example) Saki Tenma, do we find Saki's verrrry public Jirai blog? if we do, then so does everyone else. people can and do google you before a job interview, iirc some colleges/universities also do character checks. if Saki is clever, she won't go by her full name, or will go by something else, to avoid her Jirai ventblog ever showing up when they do this! if u have concerns abt what u post online, google both ur blog name and ur irl name and see what comes up - that way u know what to scrub or make private. ₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ⟡

˚₊ if you do not want this sort of posting to be traced back to you, which is entirely understandable w/ a community like this, avoid using the same url and name in multiple places. being real: i do not go by callie elsewhere. it's not my name. i just picked it bc it's fun! i have a "healthier" tumblr blog that i'd be more willing to namedrop irl. still embarrassing getting caught at the devil's sacrament, but not end-of-the-world.

˚₊ now, this bit is slightly more specific, however as an adult who had SEVERAL younger friends w/ shitty parents, this one feels like a necessity. your parents may be checking up on what you're doing online. this is not a bad thing if your parents are sane and non abusive. if they ARE, however:

˚₊ you do not have to let them know you're here. there are two specific things i'd do for this. #1: you can just straight up use a private browser, it does not save any history that way. firefox has this as an option by default, iirc, but you can google "[your browser private tab]" and #2: clearing your internet history.

˚₊ the above is a sc of clearing your history on a pc. in this sc you're clearing literally everything. cache and active log ins will likely yeet you from anything you're logged into, and possibly make pages run slower. form, search, browsing and download history is what you need to clear if you're concerned about being Watched. it WILL leave a gap and if you know what you're doing it's noticable, it looks a bit strange - think 2 hrs between opening web pages - but you could reasonably explain that away to someone who doesn't know tech well.

˚₊ be careful browsing on a device or internet that isnt directly yours. schools and workplaces both definitely monitor what you're doing, and tech-savvy parents can do the same.

˚₊ this last one is just a rant about anonymity, ngl. strawpages and anon asks could be anyone. don't give out irl details to them, don't take too much stock in negative things they say. in this space i'd also be VERY hesitant to talk about dark mental health things w/ an anon, too. there are, really, people who get off to certain actions. it's lowkey gross. tumblr now lets you block any anons you get, iirc, and you *should* utilize that! it doesn't stop them from interacting w/ you which is rly dumb but it's always worth blocking ppl who upset you.

˚₊ if you are concerned about keeping your blog/moots/etc long term, it's worth reading tumblr's tos. i'm trying to keep this statement Neutral, bc in the long run i don't care and the vast majority of jiraiblr are ok w/ seeing certain content, it's kinda an expectation. this is not a 'do not post x' rant, this is a 'post x but be prepared for the tos to bite you' thing! unfortunately block don't report is just advice and people likely will still notice concerning posts.

[redr0sewrites]

🪻A/n: general black sapphire x reader hcs ! i have a few black sapphire asks, but i wanted to do this 1st so i could figure out his characterization

🪻 Cw: fluff, smut, mentions of possessiveness and jealousy, exhibitionism, roleplay, dirty talk

🪻 dividers

sfw:

Black Sapphire Cookie is, if anything, a flamboyant lover. he's very theatrical and always looking to impress you, and truly doesn't care if he receives good or bad attention from you. however, it does take a lot of effort for him to truly be in a relationship with you. getting him to be honest, open, and loving with you is certainly a feat, and i think any sort of relationship with him takes a lot of time. he's used to deceit after all, and is not so familiar with romance. sure, he knows the performative side of being a couple, such as expensive dates and flashy gifts, but the intimacy part? yeaaa it takes him a while.

i think he'd be a bit of a bully when he first met you- ESPECIALLY if you're favored by Shadow Milk Cookie. he's not used to having to vie for his leader's attention, and can be very intense in trying to almost humiliate you? but what he doesn't realize is that this strange and very unusual and almost fun wait what obsession is also simultaneously fueled by him wanting your attention all to himself..,,,,

he's pulling every trick in the book to piss you off. from pranks to stealing your items or spreading rumors, he's very adamant about making it verrrrryyyyy obvious that he absolutely totally hates your guts and feels no other feelings towards you ! yup! does the fact that he finds it absolutely disgustingly attractive when you get mad at him have anything to do with it? the world will never know ! (Shadow Milk and Caramel Apple Cookie are pleading with him to grow a spine and realize his feelings.)

over time you start to see through his act though. i think that, no matter how hard he tries, Black Sapphire just Cannot hide that he does actually care for you and soon he sorta switches from wanting your negative attention to wanting your positive attention

you'd probably get whiplash ngl, like all of a sudden he went from trying to make you MISERABLE and/or being a freak to complimenting you and spreading rumors that you're both together??? sorry???? did you hit your head and die???? bc who r u and what have you done to Black Sapphire Cookie???

i think Black Sapphire Cookie would be the one to confess, but i do also think that you'd have to do some prying first. like you ask him "heyyy did you start that rumor that we're dating....?" and he'd just be like. "yes. we are now." and then confess

when it comes to the actual relationship, he has an idea on how romance works, but he hasn't gotten much actual soulful relationship experience and can be a bit unconventional at first- not cruel or anything, but almost awkward in a sense ?

Black Sapphire would not want to screw this up. your genuinely very important to him and, even though he doesn't like to admit it, he does care for you- he just can't express it very well. one thing that he does have going for him is his charm, so he'd try to be very superficial and flirtatious in the beginning of the relationship. however, if you see through his facade, while at first i think he'd be caught off guard, i do think that he would in turn start to (try to) be more genuine

its a slow process, but dramatic pda and overzealous compliments slowly start to turn into something else- something a bit softer. not that he doesn't adore showering you in affection, he still has a theatrical flair after all, but it becomes more tailored to your preferences. Black Sapphire would start paying more attention and begin appreciating you more, not just for your entertainment value but for you as a whole.

not only does he become more loving, but i also think that Black Sapphire would become a bit more possessive as well. witches forbid some cookie tries to do you wrong, because not only is he going to beat them up, but he will also proceed to belittle them and spread the most horrendous rumors on his radio show. he has a bit of a jealousy streak, and if you start spending too much time with others he'll definitely get a bit pouty

speaking of, i think quality time would be very important to him in a relationship. he quite enjoys just following you around while you do your daily tasks, almost like a guard dog. he likes when you turn to him for help, relishes being useful for you- and you can use this to your advantage. he loves it. whats in it for you? well, in turn, you get one of the most dramatic and powerful cookies to be comically miffed about carrying around your egregious amount of shopping bags while trailing behind you with an irritated expression on his face. (he's carrying too much to be able to hold hands with you, and now his feelings are hurt. he will not admit this.)

however, as much as he loves spending time with you, this isn't the thing he values the most- i actually think he'd hold words of affirmation to a very high importance. now, you may be thinking, isn't he like, very big on lying and not being true to his word? yes. does he expect that of others? yes! which is why he believes words of affirmation to be so important!!! while he may not admit it, just a few truthful words of affection means more to him than you will ever know. the truth is hard to find in his world, and i think that once he realizes you deeply, truly mean what you say, Black Sapphire craves your praise like an addictive drug he just can't get off of

when it comes to dates, i think that Black Sapphire Cookie would prefer elegant dates, usually with some sort of theatrical twist or dramatic flair. maybe some sort of party or gala, where he can parade around and show you off while simultaneously spreading his infectious gossip !

ultimately, while a relationship with him can take a lot of work, i do think that Black Sapphire Cookie can grow to be almost normal and loving. he is still a follower of deceit after all, and i think he'd thrive best in a relationship with someone who is more than willing to let him be as freaky and fucked up as he is without trying to change him <3

do not (PLEASE DO) get me started on yandere Black Sapphire Cookie DONT DO NOT DONT LET ME BC I WONT SHUT UP PLEEEEEASEEE

nsfw:

definitely a switch. i actually do think Black Sapphire would have a slight preference for being more dominant though, simply because he can be a bit of a control freak

he is a very versatile switch though. he can be a controlling heavy dom or the brattiest sub you've ever seen. he LOVES being put in his place, but is also big on the reverse

before you both even officially get together, Black Sapphire already fantasizes about you a lot. you're the subject of his admiration, and also his lust, and he spends a lot of time imagining not only what he'd like to do to you, but what you'd be into. would you be quiet or loud in bed? squirmy or still? would you cry if he degrades you, would you let him tie you down? the list is endless. he's definitely spent more than a few late nights pathetically fisting his twitching cock to the thought of you, fantasizing about his deepest and darkest desires.

when it comes to kinks, Black Sapphire Cookie has a lot. exhibitionism is definitely the first one that comes to mind, he loves showing you off and doesn't mind fucking you with his microphone in hearing distance, mocking you and forcing you to be quiet lest his microphone pick up the audio and broadcast your moans across all of Earthbread. also doesn't mind bottoming in situations such as this, the thrill of being caught just turns him on 10 times more

also big on roleplay, especially in this sort of scenario. loves roleplay scenarios that involve you both getting caught, or follow the premise of him taking you in front of a crowd or something of the like. he gets super into character when it comes to roleplay, and his radio show persona will almost certainly make an appearance.

degrading and praise is HUGE for him, both giving and receiving. he can be a little mean during sex, but that doesn't indicate that Black Sapphire Cookie doesn't like to reward you as well. it can give you whiplash just how quickly he can swing from taunting you and belittling you mercilessly while you gush and moan to suddenly praising you and peppering you with kisses- it truly depends on his mood

the majority of his dirty talk is degradation, even when he's subbing, Black Sapphire Cookie always has something nasty to say. he just can't resist teasing you, and lovessss fighting for dominance when it comes to dirty talk

edging and overstimulation are yet another favorite of his, as he just loves to see you squirm. theres nothing more pleasing to Black Sapphire Cookie than to make you beg for pleasure, and he also finds it hot when you cry- probably tying into some sort of dacryphilia kink,,,

as previously mentioned, he's a pretty big fan of roleplay, and most of the time its very gameshow/radio host-esque, as he looovesss playing into his own professional persona. however, i do think Black Sapphire Cookie would be into some costume play, specifically on you, like dollification and something of the like. at the very least, he just finds it very attractive to see you dressed up, and loves going to events with you where you're both dressed fancy.

super into shibari or any sort of instances in which you or himself are tied up. he can be quite creative with it too, with tons of different positions and the addition of many different toys always making it to be an exciting experience. sometimes, when he wants to punish you, he'll tie you up with a vibrator with a vibrator attached to your cunt/cock and see just how many orgasms he can wring from you

Black Sapphire Cookie has a pretty high libido, and so he definitely masturbates a lot. as previously stated, he is incredibly into exhibitionism, and looovessss orchestrating scenarios in which you catch him masturbating. he's a bit pathetic when he masturbates in my mind, he has a bit of a high stress job and i think he'd be super pent up a lot. sometimes, when his hand just isn't working for him, he'll turn to humping a pillow and pretending it's you just to reach some sort of release. this is the only time he'll ever be a little embarrassed if you catch him, but the embarrassment only turns him on more.

overall, Black Sapphire Cookie is a pretty experimental lover in bed, and has a lot of characteristic charm that makes him a great partner

this is basically like. character development via me forcing him into a relationship. this took way too long to write omfg. i am still STRUGGLING with his characterization and wanted like. a reference to look back to for when i complete the rest of my requests ! hes soo fine but also. so nuanced. ANYWAYS HOPE U ENJOYED SEND IN MORE ASKS >:)

[atopvisenyashill]

imagine you’re ned. your son and heir is nearly marriageable age and your family is down to one (1) slender branch. your eldest daughter is also a major catch and nearing an age when a betrothal might be arranged. you’ve also got a bastard son whose future urgently needs to be decided, and three younger children whose futures must be considered too. you are severely traumatized by everything that went down during robert’s rebellion, and while it’s the long summer, winter is coming. what plans do you make for your children?

i think the key thing here to understand is that ned wants to BURY this secret. that’s his MAIN priority. so personally if i’m ned, i don’t want any of my kids in the capital. rip to robert but if i was ned trying to avoid the capital, i would have made sure those kids were promised before he came calling. probably also, the best place for jon IS the wall comma but we know ned did sort of want robb & jon to continue being close and EYE think it’s mean to banish a child to the wall SO!

i’m going to apologize without apologizing to catelyn about being so hostile about the wylla of it all*** and signaling that i will be less hostile to anything she has to say regarding her feelings towards jon or wylla from this point forward.

im sitting the oldest three down and telling them You Aren’t Grown But You’re Not A Baby. i am expecting more from you but also, i didn’t know shit when i became lord, its fine if you don’t know, that’s why you have all these advisors. i’m emphasizing family togetherness here.

also im telling catelyn to have a talk with sansa about like, Being A Woman; like a for real one where she’s Serious to Sansa about the actual reality of it (bc it does seem like they don't ever....genuinely prepare Sansa which is crazy bc Catelyn seems from her own memories plenty prepared for her move & marriage)

idk that Ned notices the catelyn-arya issue as an issue. i think he sees this as very typical exasperated mom-unruly daughter thing. however, if he’s paying more attention to them bc he is being possessed by the spirit of bisexual asshole from chicago, i think the fact that sansa & arya argue all the time is p obvious, so i Do think id sit them down & be like “the hell is happening between you two” and i’m arriving much faster at “arya needs an outlet” and letting her train with the boys/finding someone who will train her. if catelyn is like “this will not help her behavior” my argument is nothing else has why can’t we try something new + i mean cat if YOU want to learn how to use a sword, i can get someone to train you too. maybe you would feel better if you got to beat the shit out of something once a day idk. i can put some padding on theon if you want and you can just go hog wild. something something the north is hard.

then i am engaging sansa POST HASTE. even one Second of thinking would tell you that robert was gonna want to engage joffrey to sansa, they are Very close in age!!! so im simply beating him to the punch PUBLICLY

but not like too publicly, i dont want robert to know im husband hunting until its too late

who do i engage her to? i mean that’s tricky bc catelyn is going to have opinions & imo if they’re too Weird of a choice, robert is going to send a raven like “hey just call that off i got joff right here.” probably the only non northern house that Doesn’t get robert’s attention in a negative way is the blackwoods, with brynden being around sansa’s age and heir.

but really staying in the north is key - you’re probably guaranteed an immediate yes and i think ned could absolutely pull the “my whole family is dead robert, let me keep my kids in the north” card. does this argument work? honestly, no idea but i think it doesn’t hurt to announce it first and if necessary ask for forgiveness afterwards.

esp bc as you say, they’re down to One (1) branch. i do think ned can and Would lean heavily on guilting the hell out of robert IF after he announces the engagement robert is like “what the fuck”

(if robert asks about arya, well first of all i’m making the same argument, second of all, i will have prepared for that and had a betrothal for her too that i can’t possibly break.)

but we’re threading a thin needle here when it comes to all these engagements being Good but not Suspicious. the girls are tricky are on their own but jon is a whole can of worms. i dont need to get jon engaged any time soon - men get married later often anyway, and if i give him a nice match, catelyn is going to have a heart attack. but i think ned would just fully commit to Giving Jon A Place At Winterfell if he gets to make the choice before robert comes (is sending him to the wall easier? probably, but so was sending him with howland so). to tell jon “you will be to robb what i would have been to brandon, what i wish i would have had.”

i think id just like, foster jon somewhere. and not in a “im sending you away” way, i would once again compare him to myself, since ned also got fostered, and i'd ask for jon's input to make it clear this isn't a punishment for Existing As A Bastard. two ways to do this. either i get the boys together (EYE Rani VisenyasHill would also bring sansa in but i do Not think that would occur to ned) and say “what are your opinions on which of our vassals we should foster a stronger bond with by sending them jon for a few years?” OR im going “and i know just who to send you to - my good friends HOWLAND REED” whatever causes ned less anxiety. robb gets to escort jon there (do i go with?? idk, worried that would make Robert look at me too much) and stay for a bit (brandon seemed to travel a lot, i think ned should encourage the same with robb. get these kids out of the fucking house ned!!). might send robb out on a lil tour just so people don’t get jealous idk

Prepare for Winter. idk what this entails when you have years longs winters. are they hoping to get one more round of produce planted and grown? do they start consolidating in the same castles for warmth and safety in case of snow? do they flock to the southern north houses, like does white harbor get Super packed during winter? i would assume white harbor gets kind of important as the only major port city but how far out does the ocean freeze?

anyways i think i’d float the idea of fostering bran out to white harbor, so he can become a knight and live in The Big City, with the aim of preparing him to start his own Stark cadet house. I'd focus on making it kind of Manderly-esque, in that the house is meant to be built around a city (maybe another port city?) and meant to culturally be a lil Southron-y.

i would ask jon & robb what they would prefer - jon living with bran (eventually) or jon returning to winterfell.

NOW ROBB'S MARRIAGE. okay, like, the thing is, i think it wouldn't hurt to continue fostering a sense of unity with the south by reaching out to a rich house who will give me a bride with a huge ass dowry that we can use to continue Preparing for Winter. but also. again it's about not pissing robert off. would he be upset if i said like, hey i'm engaging robb to margaery tyrell? maybe a myrcella match would make robert feel less jilted, especially since i am potentially sending jon off to foster elsewhere, so robert won't even have contact with the kid nor will myrcella until they're all grown up. but i do worry robert would get greedy, and also that this would be too much for ned's nerves.

not to be like, ned should be angling to be known as the Stark Who Cured Winter Starvation, but i do think Ned should have been really digging in and trying to make it easier to travel in the north. it gives him a great excuse to ignore robert, it regains some points with some of the lords in the north who seem to feel bitter about rickard & brandon's behavior, it cements his own legacy as A Lord Who Rose To The Occasion, A Lord Who Cared (which, imo, seems to be something Ned cares about - he is quite preoccupied with his reputation tbh!!), and it helps him get his house rebuilt.

tldr - foster jon somewhere in the north and let him feel like its his joint decision alongside robb (and sansa, maybe). get sansa & arya engaged BEFORE i even THINK about contacting robert for anything. send bran to foster at white harbor (not right away). Prepare For Winter (whatever that means). get robb a rich fiance so i can Prepare For Winter and be known as the stark who Prepared For The Winter. call me Ned the Prepared. Ned the Winter Killer.

all of this is so that by the time robert comes north after jon arryn has been off, i don't have to send sansa & arya down there, jon is already gone, and potentially I can say that myrcella can marry robb if robert gets pushy. also, this would allow me some semblance of control over the south if i have to go there - i've already started working on shit with wyman, mending fences through arya and sansa's engagements, and i have CRONIES to bring south. then i am immediately and i mean IMMEDIATELY going to fire the entire small council including renly, putting my own people in there, and telling stannis that if he doesn't get his ass to the capital right now i am accusing him of conspiring against the king and having him marched across the goddamn bay to answer for his behavior.

*** listen i can’t tell cat. this isn’t a debate about whether he should have it’s about If Ned Realized His Kids Would Grow Up One Day What Would He Do. if i want to keep jon around and fight marginally less with my wife about it, i think id just be up front about The Lie. that is to say, i'd apologize without apologizing (i dont think he’d would want to apologize when he’d do it again and i also think ned is too Like That to just lie to manipulate cat and say he’s sorry for how he’s approached it - and i do think we’re really stretching the limits of ned’s ability to lie here), and just tell her something about wylla. like, she was married & i completely fucked her life bc i was horny & sad and then i took her kid away from her and i’ve been really touchy about whether that was a good thing to do or not. something. say anything. fucking anything. just acknowledge he’s been a dick & also make her feel a little bad (he said that line about brandon, he’s not above a little guilt & low blows).

(the ashara story would work BETTER to get cat’s sympathy - like she KILLED HERSELF do you know what kind of yarn he could spin about that & his guilt keeping jon here bc of that!! but he’d never do that lol. tbh i’d also just bring up ashara - i would say that i reacted so negatively bc like, i murdered her brother and then she killed herself 😭 that’s bad enough and now people are saying she had my BASTARD? that i ruined her life TWICE and then she killed herself?? of course i was pissed off people were gossiping about it, but i should have been nicer to cat about it. but anyways, ned would just never lie on ashara’s name, he had the wylla story in mind and that’s the one he went with. but,,,, he HAS a story. ned SAY THE STORY OUT LOUD.).

Does this fix everything in their marriage? Obviously not, i’m sure Cat is still going to push about Jon, but I think signaling that i'm going to be less hostile about this would bring Cat’s hostility down in turn.

[poetryandfluffycats]

can you please do mika x fem reader nsfw with him giving her lots of body praise bc shes insecure and calling her a good girl?

A/N: I finished this in like a day so very sorry if it seems rushed or half-assed, I just really liked my idea for it. enjoy!

Pairing: Mika Kagahira x fem!reader

Content: Lingerie is the best way to spice things up in the bedroom, at least that's what the lady behind the counter had said. Trying on lingerie with your boyfriend should be a fun experience, but your mind just can't comprehend that. Luckily, Mika is there to cheer you up, in his own special way.

Warnings: NSFW, oral sex(f receiving), public sex, lots of petnames(pretty girl, good girl, my girl), negative self talk, insecure reader

Words: 1.5k

NSFW oneshot under cut!

The dressing room was as stuffy as it always was, small and filled to the brim with posters and ads advertising the latest sales of the store you were in. Some tacky, cheap lingerie store Mika had dragged you into. The kind the sold the most outrageous designs made with the worst fabrics possible and then marketed to young woman as if it were some sort of high end luxury brand.

Colours of pink, purple, and green were scattered all over the floor, a sea of your failed attempts at finding a sexy outfit fit for you. A eye-shadow wearing teen behind the counter had told you that lingerie was the absolute best way to spice up your bedroom relations, but you figured out early into this fashion show that her words must have been a lie, because none of what you put on looked good at all!

"(name)? Why don't ya try on this one?" Mika's green head of hair poked through the thin curtain of the dressing room, in his hand a set of black, lace, crotchless panties and a matching bralette with tiny embroidered lace hearts over where the nipples would go. "I think ya'd look real pretty..."

You eyed him, then the clothes, then him again, before snatching the item out of his hands and hiding it behind your back, as if it were some forbidden object he wasn't allowed to look at. "I don't know, Mika... maybe we should just leave"

As if he were in compete desperation, Mikas bottom lip stuck out and he looked into your eyes with the biggest puppy dog expression he could muster. It was a look he used on you more than often, a look that always got him what he wanted.

"Please? I've been feelin' bad, since I don't buy ya nice things an' all. Let me do somethin' for ya just this once!"

With those eyes and that dopey grin, it was hard to say no to the man. How could you when he always looked so adorable? You didn't like to disappoint a face like that, and It wasn't like you were trying to! The main reason behind your heastaince towards the skimpy get-ups Mika has throwing at you was well, stupid in all reality, but you were worried he wouldn't like what he saw.

Yeah, stupid, but the whole time you stood in that tiny room surround by the tiniest pieces of clothing known to man, the only thoughts that managed into your mind were negative. Thoughts of how you looked silly, weird, thoughts of how it looked like you were wearing someone else's skin when the lingerie was on your body.

Sick, ugly feelings. Ones that made you feel like all the organs in your body were rearranging themselves.

"Do ya not like it?" You must have zoned out whilst changing, because Mika was now standing right beside you, eyebrows knitted in concentration-like he was trying to read your mind.

You gulped, eyes scanning over yourself in the dirty mirror. You didn't look bad, per say, but not practically good, ever. The lace of the panties sat comfortably around your waist, but the way the fabric hugged your curves in a way that nearly made them budge out didn't feel right to you. The embroidered hearts of the bralette were cute enough, and the way the bra itself pushed your breasts together was a nice touch, but again, something didn't feel right.

Didn't feel like you.

"Its not that, I mean, its nice, I'm just..." You trailed off, searching for the correct words to try get out what you were thinking without really explaining it in depth. Mika didn't need all your problems dumped onto him all at once, and there was nothing he could do about it even if you did. "I'm just not feeling it"

"Why not? Yer gorgeous! Most beautiful in the whole wide world!" His grin stayed, but there was a new look of confusion, and even a bit of sadness that filled his features. "Ya could be a model, I think. I'd watch any show ya were in, I'd be like, ya number one fan!"

"Don't say those sort of things" Hot red spread to your cheeks as you adverted your gaze to the ground. Compliments from Mika were a daily thing, that's just the way he was, but they still never failed to make you smile despite your personal internal struggles. "Not now, its embarrassing"

"But I'm right!"

The boy in front of you made a sound that could only be described as whimpering, pout on his lips widening to the point where you thought his cheeks might simply explode, before he lunged forward, arms wrapping around your middle and pulling you close into his chest. You stumbled a bit, almost falling out of his hold and flat onto your face, but managed to steady yourself by gripping onto his jacket.

"It's not fair" Mika whined into the crook of your neck, leaving feather-light kisses all down the bare skin. His words were muffled from his mouth being pressed so tightly against you, but you could just make out what he was saying. Just...

"Yer perfect, but ya don't know it" Another kiss, this one maybe with a bit more tongue and trailing further down your neck. "That's sad, but I don't like when yer sad. Can I help ya not be sad?"

Was this even the right place for such a question? Mika was a strange man-part of what attracted you to him in the first place was his eccentricities-but this? Was this normal in his eyes? You felt as if your legs might melt into a pool of jelly on the floor, the only thing keeping you upright being Mikas hands holding you in an embrace.

His hold was tight, but soft, his lips on your neck were light and loving, but also so rough and longing at the very same time. God, what were you to do with him?

"What are you trying to do?"

"Hm, dunno" Mika giggled, the precious sound bouncing off the walls. His hands holding you in place began to travel down your back, rubbing over every single bump and cervice of your spine as he slowly lowered to his knees. "I started thinkin' 'bout how I could help ya out, but uh, I got a wee bit excited, but that's okay. I know how to help ya now!"

"Mika, are you fucking serious-"

"Yup! Be a good little pretty girl for me, mkay?"

You barely had time to breathe before Mikas head dove in between your thighs, nose deep in the heat of the crotch less part of your underwear. He took a few deep breaths in, inhaling the scent of you like you were a fresh ocean breeze and he was a man who'd be stranded at sea without water for months. His tongue darted out to give a few tester kitten licks, before fully driving in and licking a full circle around your hole-which was dripping wet already.

"Imma make ya feel real nice, (name)" His voice was like a vibrator against your core, each word sending shivers of arousal up your spine and straight to your brain, clouding it with pleasure, making you forget all about those nasty thoughts of before. "Yer a good girl, so pretty, my pretty lady. Love yer taste so much~"

"Ah!~ M-Mika! We're in public!" You hissed, slapping a hand over your mouth as a moan threatened to slip from your throat. "We're gonna get caught!"

"Nah, don't care. Let em hear, then everyone'll know just how pretty ya are, yeah? And that ya got the best boyfriend to please ya"

A silent sob left your lips as the tip of Mikas tongue entered your hole, flicking up and down and teasing you just perfectly. He knew your body so well, knew where to press up on to make you squirm and whimper, where to suckle to make you scream, he knew it all. Like a mastermind of your body, one might say.

"Pretty, pretty, pretty" Mikas words were like a mantra as he worked. Each and every one of them had you spinning, eyes rolling to the back of your head as the knot in your belly grew hotter and hotter, getting ready to combust at any moment. "Gonna call ya pretty till the day I die, that okay? Yer the prettiest, and I'm the luckiest because you're the prettiest!"

"Christ! Mika! I'm-"

The knot finally snapped, a blinding white light filling your vision for a split second as heat flooded your body. Mika stayed in between your legs for a little while, lapping up all the juices that spilled out from inside you, drinking them like a fine wine. Once he was finished-and once your high was subsided, leaving you a panting mess in the dressing room-he licked one final long stripe up your pussy, wiping the area off with his jacket sleeve before pulling himself back up.

"So, we're buying this one, then?"

[forsaken-headcanons]

I am back with more hcs ! I’ve been busy writing a fic . More John Doe hcs this time because he’s one of my favorites

He’s largely mute because of how the corruption’s affected him. On good days he can get a few words out if he really tries but most of the time he just sort of communicates in growls and body language . The killers have learned to interpret what he means

Sleeping on both his back (exposed spine) and his side (heavy spike arm) isn’t really an option so he sleeps on his stomach . To prevent himself from rolling over or falling out of bed (since he moves a lot in his sleep, partially due to the corruption constantly feeding him negative thoughts which probably lead to nightmares) the mattress just lies on the ground and is surrounded by pillows and things. Kind of like when a cat loafs because there was an old hc about him doing it on this blog and it’s never left my mind

Due to the corruption morphing parts of his body into something that mainly kills people he can’t really do stuff that requires the use of two hands. Which is very annoying and frustrating for him

He has a tail, some spiky spine things on his body (mainly his back), and sharpened claws on his arms (they have black scales that cover his hands but it’s covered by the corruption). This is a result of the corruption modifying his base code & model to have the code and parts of a “monster” so that John Doe can better kill people. As such it wouldn’t go away if his corruption was cured, because it modified his code and wasn’t just an add on or muddying his functions so it could take over as the primary host.

He loves having a routine. It’s easier for him to remember things if he does them consistently every single day. Unfortunately he’s not great at remembering himself a lot of the time so the other killers have developed a sort of daily routine which John can follow. He’s been remembering things a small bit better since they started which is progress. (He cannot remember rounds since the Spectre modified the corruption to be really aggressive during rounds so he can kill things better. This has a consequence of making him almost never remember what happens. The one good thing the Spectre has done and it’s unintentional/j)

Despite being largely taken over by the corruption, when he DOES have control over himself (largely during the off-time between rounds or during larger periods of rest), he likes to tease the other killers and annoy them for fun. He finds their reactions funny and if he wasn’t affected by the corruption he’d definitely be a bit of a gadfly. Before the corruption happened he was largely kind and sweet though he did have a mischievous side. After his corruption the old code largely suppressed his niceness but not the other part. He cannot speak or anything but the other killers Know when he’s being a bit of an annoyance for fun.

Hello new mods :) I like posting long rambles I hope you can withstand my long words about things I like/j -🪶anon

Hello hi!! We don't mind we're all here to hear you ramble after all ^^

Love hcs of John Doe just trying to be a normal guy and keeping some of his humanity despite the corruption bc he's just that.

[babiebom]

Heyy love your writing, can I have some headcanons of what it would be like to date Penny? SFW and NSFW if that's okay to you.

(can be male?? but gender neutral is cool too!)

(Google translate translation, sorry if this looks weird ✌️😽)

A/N: the Google translation was fine!! Is it rude to ask what your first language is? I find it interesting!! I’m putting the read more after the sfw section so people who just want that can read it!

Cw: sexual content, male!reader but most of them can be read as gender neutral, mentions of kinks and pregnancy, mentions of trauma. tell me anything else I should tag!

BC: I think 13 for each?

Stardew Masterlist

MINORS DNI!!

Sfw Headcanons

I honestly think Penny would be a comfy girlfriend rather than an adventurous one. Which isn’t horrible depending on what you’re into.

Like she totally is the type of girl to try to cook and bake for you as her way to show you that one she loves you and two that she’s wifey material

Like Penny doesn’t date for fun at all, she’s definitely a date for marriage type of person. So her entire goal is to marry and have kids with you some day.

I think she’s a VERY jealous person, but doesn’t show it often because she wants to be seen as secure and like she trusts you, which she does she just has a bit of trauma.

She would come home from work(either teaching specifically Jas and Vincent or working at an actual school) and tell you stories of what she and the kids did that day.

LOVES seeing you interact with kids, like actually gets a dreamy look in her eyes as if you’re a prince that she’s meeting.

I do think that she would be a VERY sweet girlfriend, like she’s constantly fawning over you, complementing you, and making sure that you feel secure, beautiful, and loved in your relationship. She has the opinion that if you’re feeling down then she’s not doing something right.

I do think that it would be sort of stressful being with her because she takes everything to heart, she gets hurt very easily and while you don’t have to walk on eggshells you do have to be careful how you word things.

ALSO I think if your first language isn’t English she would take the time to learn at least the most basic phrases in your language, just to show how serious she is about you.

I think having you meet Pam(if you hadn’t already) she would stress over it and ramble to you about what to expect for DAYS before you actually meet her.

Like her own father left, and while she loves her mother she’s sort of scared that Pam will cause you to leave because of her behavior.

Meeting your parents she would also stress. She wants to be seen as the PERFECT daughter in law. Like she doesn’t want them to have anything negative to say about her. She’ll help with dishes, any other household chores, basically try to make the family like her by being helpful and sweet.

Likes to read together. Like it doesn’t matter if she’s reading to you, or you’re reading to her, or even you’re both reading your own books side by side, she just wants to share her love of stories with you.

I also think she’s very touchy and clingy. She always wants to be all over you and even in public while she’s not a big fan of PDA she always needs to be holding your hand or your arm in some way. She wants your relationship to be one that people are jealous of and strive after lmao.

NSFW Headcanons

Penny DEFINITELY has some extreme fetishes/kinks. But I do think they’re something that she doesn’t necessarily need them to feel pleasure.

Like if we’re looking at it in a dom/sub giver/receiver top/bottom she would be on the more submissive/ receiving side of things.

She’s not a woman that would want to be on top(unless it’s something that you absolutely want from her) she’d rather lay back and take everything you’re giving to her. Like she gets off on you losing yourself to pleasure so whatever position you want her in she’s happy with.

IS AN EXPERT ON SUCKING DICK IDCIDC

I think she would just get on her knees for you, no words, just her looking up at you waiting for you to tell her to go on. Like it’s the least she could do. You work all day in the fields, and technically she no longer needs to work as a teacher even though she makes NOTHING so giving you head is a little gift to you for providing her with everything she wants.

Actually loves sucking you off, like she moans and whines while doing it, eyes closed and everything.

Not on no baby trapping shit, but if you don’t immediately want kids I would say to wear condoms bc she is absolutely locking her legs behind your back.

It’s not even like she does it on purpose she just does it without thinking. It’s just a bad habit she has when she’s feeling so good that she doesn’t want you to pull away.

Her leg locking is more her wanting to be in your skin rather than trying to get pregnant.

THOUGH home girl does have a breeding kink, though she doesn’t have a pregnancy kink.

She’s always whining for you to breed her, to fill her up, she wants to make you a daddy so bad she swears she’ll be a good mother, a good wife, all you need to do is finish in her and she’ll do the rest.

Gets insanely giddy after having sex, like everyone can always tell that you dicked her down good because she’s just in such a good mood.

Also lowkey has a free use kink but would never say it because she thinks it’s weird. Like she’s all too happy letting you bend her over whenever you want, as long as no one is around.

[solargeist]

What the relationships between different Hermits and Kid Xelqua are like:

POSITIVE!

Mumbo - Pretty positive all things considered. He manages to entertain him, and generally is a good uncle figure.

Scar - The favourite. Scar gives him unlimited access to snacks and all sorts of unhealthy food (much to Grian’s chagrin). Once gave him so much sugar, Xelqua entered a 5 hour long sugar rush. Grian still hasn’t forgiven him yet because it was an absolute nightmare.

Doc - Surprisingly positive. Despite Doc’s turbulent relationship with Grian, Doc has a soft spot for kids. He’ll drop any kind of tension when Xelqua’s around to not worry him. He’ll still absolutely body Grian, but usually when Xelqua isn’t looking.

Pearl - Due to her leniency, Xelqua likes her. He can get away with anything when she’s around and generally doesn’t impose any harsh rule of punishment on him

Etho - He just thinks Etho is cool (usually because he keeps maple candies in his pockets). An Ethogirl in the making.

NEUTRAL!

Joe Hills - He’s a living Sesame Street styled puppet and Xelqua keeps mistaking him for a normal puppet toy. He once nearly suffocated poor Joe by hugging him a little too tight around his neck.

Xisuma - Barely sees him and for good reason. Xisuma has enough on his plate as admin, he doesn’t need to have to add “babysitting a god” on his plate as well.

Impulse & Skizz - They help Grian out occasionally to watch over Xelqua. Typical fun uncles you can find, but Xelqua doesn’t know much about them or why Skizz gives him the heebie jeebies when he unfurls his Angel wings or when Impulse reveals his full demon form.

Gem - Like Impulse and Skizz, generally friendly with Xelqua, but he’s unsettled by her, but he doesn’t know why. Maybe he senses that Gem isn’t truly a deer satyr and something to do with the rustling in the forests and night and the lingering smell of blood on her.

NEGATIVE…

Cleo - She’s scary to him. Like how you would be scared of the principal when you were a kid in elementary school.

Cub - All the fireworks he uses this season are too loud for him. He has to cover his ears everytime he has to go near the shop.

Joel - Xelqua keeps walking in in Joel in the most embarrassing moments. Like seeing him cry in front of the statue of his wife because she isn’t in the server, falling down an entire flight of stairs, reading Iskall’s creepy Yandere letters, etc. There were several moments where Joel had to cover Xelqua’s mouth because he was about to air all his dirty laundry.

AKDNDJSKAK

of course Scar is the favourite, Xelqua would love his builds, he’d like the animals and Scars silly voices and rambles. He’d also love Scar’s off road wheelchair/ATV, it’s so fast ! He’d absolutely eat all of Scar’s snacks, he’d be talking a mile a minute when Grian shows to pick him up, he just silently glares at Scar.

I love when people draw Doc with Doccy on the server, just a big scary goat and his little goat kid, it’s why he has a soft spot around Xelqua, he’s so tiny. Tho I can only see them interacting if Xelqua accidentally ends up in his base area, got lost maybe. I think Xelqua wouldn’t be scared of Doc despite his looks bc 1) he looks like Scar’s zoo animals (big Goat) and 2) Doc has a kid too, so he’s gotta be safe. Grian is very confused when he sees Doc calling him.

The Joe Hills part almost made me choke AKDNDKSK Joe being a puppet is my favourite design it’s so silly. Xelqua watches a lot of TV, he’d be in awe… so happy to see a real life puppet… Grian has to grab his hands to stop him from choking Joe out.

I think Xelqua would just be intimidated by Cleo at first, he’d warm up to her ! Him being scared of Cub bc of the fireworks is so true tho, Xelqua very much hates the noise and is actively afraid of thunder, he’ll wake Grian up if a storm rolls in at night, and probably hide behind him if a firework went off and no one told him it’d be so loud !

poor Joel 😭😭⁉️⁉️ tho if Joel grabbed Xelqua and covered his mouth like that, Grian is immediately there, he crosses the room so quickly man Watchers don’t play around abt their kids 😭💥 Grian doesn’t even realize he moved or separated them, for a split second his brain didn’t see this as a joke or playing around. Joel gets to see those purple eyes up closeeee and shouts

this was very cute and silly to read ehehehe, also for some reason I think Xelqua would think that Xisuma is Grian’s uncle, no idea how he came to this conclusion.

[leafeyrune]

Something I remind myself when it comes to the release of AvA 11 and the current timeline of AvA is that this takes place a few years back from current timeline (Green Influencer Arc) so…EVERYTHING TURNS OUT! but even then you can subtlety notice a bit of a slight change in Orange.

I’m specifically referring to the lava prank scene regarding their anger but the way Orange treated Green at the end of Ep. 3 can also be noted since I’ve seen it noted before how Orange seems a lot more laid back in a way? It’s hard to say. But we do know Orange has done more to kinda manage his anger (comparing how he reacts to the prank in comparison to the lush caves ep). Sooo who knows….

so I find the way they pace things out so interesting bc like…it really makes you wonder what happens in between that causes that sorta change. Was it intentional? It’s hard to say. I’m still thinking about that one Green comment from the Trick Shots video regarding a comment referring to Orange as The Second Coming. Well of course it’s very likely they do know of that name since it’s been shown to the CG before (looking at the AvLoL video) but do they become aware of Orange’s powers? Does Orange know about his own powers? (Well he does now, but I guess more in a sense of actually witnessing himself *use* these powers). I think it’s interesting (not really in a theorizing way, just more in a ‘huh! Cool!’) sorta way the CG still refer to Orange as…Orange.

I don’t think we are going to get all of our answers about Orange in AvA 11 since it seems it’s going to be much more victim focused considering the name of the ep and the teasers we have all seen (all of them pointing to victim backstory and such). I’m guessing we are going to get more Orange lore in AvA 12 or 13 (maybe some hints or even an awakening in AvA 11 tho….) (NOT NEG BTW LMAO)

But speaking on victim’s backstory…god… I’m not ready… I wonder how much will be seen, I wonder if we are gonna find out about what victim is going to do with Yellow…Chosen and Orange. What are Red, Blue, and Green…going to do now? I wonder how many answers we are going to get for victim…also as I’ve seen others point out how the title is very interesting too…’Victim’ I don’t think this just refers to the character victim, but the concept of a victim. victim is making others into victims because of his plans…Yellow, Chosen, Orange… and even Alan in a way in the future, wanting Alan to feel the pain he felt and feel the pain of his namesake…and who knows about Mitsi’s involvement seeing she most likely has some sort of role to play in this.

Also Dark being alive possibly? (I don’t know how much I believe Dark is alive/will be revived just yet but…I’m open to any possibility LMFAOOO)

AvA 11 is just such a mystery on how they are going to portray it and write it. Because it’s not a series finale, it’s actually more close to the middle/beginning (I think S3 goes to Ep15 or something idk I saw it somewhere I just don’t remember).

But in conclusion,

(If you have made it this far Ty for reading… this isn’t like a theory post or anything, more like just some thoughts I have before the main ep drops tomorrow…I like to ramble and yap)

[pacing-er]

Real talk when/why did the narrative for Professor Xavier change from "empathetic telepath who believes in the inherent good of others" to "cold apathetic telepath who treats people like things"? Maybe it's just an issue with Spurrier as a writer specifically bc I've noticed he's particularly bitchy in Legion's comics but in general the tone of the comics have shifted to be overwhelmingly negative towards Charles.

They talk a lot of shit about how he always finds easy solutions and just cuts the problems out of people's brains instead of helping them grow but like... I feel like that wasn't always the case? Didn't he explicitly refuse to use his telepathy as a permanent solution when Sabertooth came to him for help?

Granted, there was a LOT more on his mind during the Krakoa era but this is a pretty drastic change. Legion even says at one point "I know that empathy was never your thing" and that's pretty ridiculous in the context of Charles' long history as a caregiver and father figure. The narrative bias could be attributed to Legion being the focus of those comics, and Charles was a pretty awful father to him specifically, but to write off every empathetic thing he's done just for the sake of making a point? I think that it does his character a serious disservice.

In terms of why it was done, my personal theory is projection on the part of writers and fans alike. As an authority figure in the lives of younger characters, they want him to have ulterior motives and be a manipulative bastard. The fact that he is motivated by genuine love and compassion for those around him rubs people the wrong way, because they feel betrayed and let down by their own authority figures regardless of their intentions. They don't believe that people who make mistakes and hurt others in the process can still be good people, with the results always outweighing good intent. This sort of black and white thinking is very prevalent and it leads to a lot of bad-faith takes.

The change in Charles' character could also harken back to what Moira pointed out in HOX/POX: Whereas in past realities Charles never changed as a person, in this reality he has been broken by her. This is the only rationalization I'd accept at this point, and the narrative that ppl have been pushing lately of "actually professor x was just a huge bastard the whole time" does not vibe with me. The pessimistic nihilistic impulse to project negative traits on genuinely well-meaning characters will always be fucking exhausting.

[oh-no-its-bird]

I'm having. So many Uchiha Houhua thoughts. Like I know so much of his existence is geared towards survival but. The hc of Uchiha's use of war fans,I have to wonder if he ever finds him half heartedly fiddling with a delicate seeming Tessen, remebering an old friend now far gone, just as razor edged and yet still missed.

And it may be my own fondness for the concept of a spider summons but so much of spider behavior is "Please Leave Me Alone" which is very on brand for Houhua. Camouflage and careful, delicate and yet still so dangerous, setting invisible webs between leaves and waiting for the worse predators to pass. (Also using spider venom to fuck with his heartrate for the possum jutsu maybe?)

The entire concept is so delightful and I'm very thankful to have seen all your little tidbits on it

YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SENT ME A STRAWPAGE I JUST SAW IT LAST NIGHT BUT FELL ASLEEP BEFORE I COULD COPY PASTE IT TO REPLY TO HERE!!!!!!!!!!!

Omg hi funny seeing you here (<- batting my eyelashes, twirling my hair)

Anyways I love this, actually. Like, a lot.

Ough,, Houhua unable to look at war fans without thinking about both SY and SQQ,,,

I think it's actually especially fun to think ab like. The difference in fighting style between (Japanese) Uchiha styled war fan techniques and (Chinese) Cang Qiong Sect war fan techniques. Not even counting the much more specific Qing Jing Peak style of fan techniques.

That also goes double for sword techniques, especially considering the plans for Houhua to go into sword smithing.

Houhua has literal decades of the Cang Qiong sect sword style engraved into his fucking bones. Into his soul, even, if you consider the whole 'cultivators swords are usually tied to their spirits in some way' thing.

He's going to have the worst time trying to switch to Uchiha sword styles-- though I think the sharingan + the unfamiliar, tiny body without all the muscle memory of his past life will help him at least get his footing

,, Hey, is muscle memory held in the actual muscle or is it held in the brain? That's a thought.

ALSO. THE SPIDERS.

I. I cant lie to u, you are making an amazing argument rn for him having a spider summons. I love the idea sm, I am now faced w the ultimate dilemma of choosing between a spider contract or a rat contract.

On one hand, they both carry undertones of like 'there might be a bit more to see here than just a coward' bc of the associated (mostly negative) connotations of rats and spiders both being like, underhanded, sneaky, that sort of thing. But the spider tho,,, ough,, it also shows a side of implied manipulation that might be fun just from the angle of like.

Yeah you'd expect him to have some sort of rodent contract but hes actually been designated spider coded by the universe, actually.

I forget if I posted this snippet yet or if I only posted it on the discord but take this really quick:

So like. This moment, where Kabuto bets Houhua will get some form of rodent contract (for obvious reasons) while Hana bets he gets a fucking worm. But now make it even funnier bc they're both wrong and he got a spider contract.

This could also maybe play interesting into Houhua and Kabuto's sort of ongoing quiet squinting in eachothers direction as they both go 'this guy isnt as simple as he seems...' as Kabuto mentally recalculates some of Houhua's behavior

This also can just bring out a pretty fun "hey so lets talk about in universe stereotypes and associations when it comes to summoning animals" which I just think is fun. Like, culturally, what does it mean to have a contracted animal? Do some people treat it like they might astrology personality tests? Do some people think its just nonsense and pure luck or not that deep?

For some people it probably isn't that deep, while for others (specifically those who might come from families who always have the same contract, or others who sign blank contracts where they really are sent to an animal that matches them best) it really is a good way to try and analyze them

And like. Where does that leave Houhua?

This could also just be fun for when he interacts w Orochimaru, who fucking hates bugs (insert my own personal favorite hc here that he hates them largely in part due to the many times he was stuck inside his own rotting body, infested with bugs)

And like, Houhua and Orochimaru will inevitably interact, though I'm not 100% sure on how it goes just yet. But like. Houhua having a spider contract and Orochimaru coincidentally hating spiders. Could be funny.

PLUS YOU'RE SO RIGHT FOR LIKE. SPIDER VENOM POSSIBLY PLAYING INTO HIS PLAYING DEAD ACT. UR SO SMART FOR THAT.

Anyways. Yeah ok I think spider contract Houhua would go pretty hard for multiple reasons. Give him a big fluffy spider with big ol eyes.

Houhua can maybe get another contract further down the line and then get the rodents he deserves.

Im so glad that you've been enjoying the SQH in naruto au nonsense I've been pumping out!! I'm like. Halfwayish done with chapter one but it keeps getting longer. I'll get there eventually.

I really need to update my tumblr vault with all the recent additions to the au but want to update it when I post the actual fic so I can link the fic to the chapter, so I'm holding off on that

Anyways, thank you for your ask!!

[nicki0kaye]

decided to make this its own post @solrika, I think I'm probably gonna be wordy and want it to be easy to find my opinion on this

My answer is; it's complicated

I personally think Kallus does things because he Wants to do them, there is a goal in mind, long term or short term, and once he's given himself over to a course of action, he pursues it doggedly. No half measures. Guilt is not a strong motivator, nor is 'what is right'. If either of those things mattered, he would have cracked earlier than this. But no, before and DURING the Honorable Ones, he's a bastard almost to his own amusement. Because it gets him something.

His reasons for leaving the Empire are complicated but to me ultimately selfish. The end of the Honorable Ones leaves him with two realizations; he is unhappy living alone with no one who gives a shit if he lives or dies, and all the success he's seen as an Imperial Agent is over. His career is dead. There is no upward movement without a retreat from his position on Lothal, because he will not win against the Spectres. This is an inherently unsafe place to be within the Empire. It is a death sentence to continue to fail.

He could transfer, but his pride wouldn't allow for that. It would be admitting defeat not just to every other ISB agent, showing weakness to the people most likely to use it against him, BUT ALSO to Garazeb, who is the ONLY person in the universe Kallus has any kind of true relationship with. Like fr the only person he's genuine, emotionally attached to, even if it's in a 'if I don't kill him myself with my bare hands, I will die' sort of way. Kallus' own self-worth is tied up in being Garazeb's better, as it has been with every other Lasat he's hunted since Onderon, and after YEARS of being denied and bested, after the Honorable Ones, he decides to settle for being Zeb's equal. Anything less is unacceptable.

So Kallus pivots to selfishly chase a future where he is not alone and not disgraced, with every intention to die in pursuit of that goal. He isn't stupid, he knows his odds are in the negatives. Maybe he'd have a chance in hell if it was just Pryce, but he's a mole under Thrawn. He expects to die.

Doing things that would get a normal person killed is one of his vices, tho, so this is not the hard ask it would be for, say, Lyste. Kallus gets off on every tiny victory where someone buys his lies. He lives for the thrill. New boss, same shit, different day.

He is for sure doing everything with the express purpose of gaining the Rebellion's trust, but ultimately their goals are now his goals. It is transactional to him, because everything is. It's an exact parallel to why he joined the Academy in the first place; a form of freedom that stroked his ego. There is very little he has to shift in his brain to justify his actions once he decides to become Fulcrum.

I still think it takes months of denial and fence sitting. That may be a lack of understanding of the timeline on my part, but afaik, after the Honorable Ones, Kallus falls off the Spectre's radar until season 3, and there's a good chunk of time to fill. This is entirely my HCs, but He fills it with a) denial and b) research.

Finding out Geonosis was a project above his access clearance moves the needle a teensy bit towards Fulcrum bc goddammit, Garazeb was right, the bitch. It's also hella concerning that they're being so tight lipped about wiping out a planet's population; that isn't the norm. Kallus especially should not be barred from this information, and yet.

This isn't enough, tho, so he decides to go back to the basics, to one of the very first things he was taught about how to control a population; their food access.

This is where he learns just what he's been ingesting for the last 15+ years, and that there was more in his rations than just stimulants. His food has been keeping him, and most every other officer, chemically castrated and emotionally stagnant through added hormones. It's not a huge surprise, but it is something he didn't know about or consent to, so it's something he can easily resent, and also something he can take to the Rebellion as an olive branch; here's what's in the standard Imperial rations and why you should never eat anything intended for a Stormtrooper. Their aim is shit for a reason.

From there, it's just taking time out of his day to day to go down different rabbit holes of Imperial injustice and inefficiency. After all, if this Empire was really working as intended, as the most efficient form of galactic government, Kallus would never have been given an OK to use the abandoned construction site of the Goddamn Death Star just to honeypot his personal rival. There's plenty of other evidence that the driving factor behind the leadership is not efficiency but cruelty.

From here Kallus can externalize his issues with the Empire and align himself politically with the Rebellion without shifting much of his own morals. His professed reasons for following the Empire are built on lies. He will bend the truth for his own gain, but after enough rabbit holes, he can't make any more excuses. He also begins to carefully phase out his issued rations for untampered food, which does allow him to Feel his Feelings, which solves the problem of truly atrophied empathy.

Going forward, he will point to his research and Zeb's challenge for what changed his tune. There is no way In Fuck he will admit to Anyone that the true motivation was fear and loneliness. Only in his worse moments will he admit it to himself, and even then, I think he refuses to examine what he even wants from Zeb. That Zeb gave him something on that moon that no one in the Empire has ever given him; a sense of safety.

That's the last piece of the puzzle for me. It isn't just that Kallus is aware he's outliving his usefulness to the Empire, or that he wants the companionship and concern Zeb was shown when his family rescued him. It's that for possibly the first time in his life, someone protected him. That he was placed in a position where trust had to be built and maintained to survive, and it worked. It's an honor I don't think any other sentient has earned, because it requires vulnerability on Kallus' part, and he would Rather Fucking Die. But he didn't! And it was the sentient that he's been obsessed with that saved him and protected him and kept him company on a hostile planet.

That is why I think Kallus falls in love with Zeb after the Honorable Ones; because he feels safe with Zeb, and it is such a harsh, biting contrast to return to the Empire and know in his bones he is Not Safe There and has no one to rely on.

His goal moving forward, what ultimately sets him to doing the research that becomes the backbone of his story going forward, is to find a way back to that safety, and that requires leaving the Empire endearing himself to the Rebellion.

I don't think everything he does is play-acting going forward, which is why I included the beat about the drugged rations, bc it allows for an explanation for why he would become emotionally invested after over a decade of apathy and outright cruelty. That shits hard, but it's a little easier for me to square if the apathy was manufactured. I think Kallus is genuinely disgusted by Gererra's ways of obtaining intel, both because one of Saw's boys blew his ass up that one time, but also because Saw's methods are cruel. I think as Kallus forms more relationships within the Rebellion, he expands his empathy and by the time the New Republic is established, he's internalized a lot of their morals very genuinely.

But we wouldn't have gotten here if the mf wasn't touch starved and terrified and was given just the TINIEST taste of a life worth living. And it had to be Zeb. It had to be someone he was already obsessed with to an unhealthy degree, someone connected to the only other thing that is Kallus' and Kallus' alone; Lasan and the bo-rifle. He could have weaselled his way out of it, if it weren't so personal, if it wasn't the only thing the Empire allowed him to keep for his own. His one sliver of identity. Not to say it wouldn't be fun to figure out other ways he could be brought to the Light, just that the situation in canon was constructed in such a way he only had two choices; to pivot or die.

bc if he chose the Empire, a future inside the Empire, he would have to kill the one thing that made him a unique person; his connection to Zeb and Lasan. That's the only way to avoid being taken behind the shed and put down for one too many fuck ups. Kallus would have to completely start over, entirely rebuild, and even if he didn't fully internalize that, the fear was there, driving him away from that so strongly, it was never really an option.

To summarize, Kallus left the Empire because he wanted to live. Not just live, but live fully, because Zeb gave him a glimpse at what that might mean and offered him access. There is a better life possible and Kallus fucked up and chose wrong and went back to the Empire anyways, and he Cannot just sit with his thumb up his ass, he has to meet Zeb as his equal. He has to live.

[ravenbloodshot]

How Enhypen Views Countries Tarot Reading 🇳🇬🇲🇽🇹🇭

Nigeria 🇳🇬

I'll be straight up, these guys don't think of this country often. The energy feels very lackluster and bland, the kind of energy I pick up when someone doesn't really care about the topic I'm asking about. So I will say they don't have much knowledge of the culture, ppl, traditions, languages etc.... of this country. Quite ignorant and more so willingly (they don't have an interest, so they remain in the dark about the happenings in Nigeria).

For some reason, I'm hearing something about their population or birth rates, I believe it's pretty high (definitely higher than SK). This fact may be something they've found interesting or surprising. Generally, the most these guys see of this country is through skits, SNL, short tiktok videos, and such.

They think the people are very flirtatious and romantic (due to things like afrobeats and their love driven lyrics/songs). Quite the hustlers, even with the tough things they've been through historically, still grinding and overcoming the odds.

Mexico 🇲🇽

They may view this country through the lens of the more negative coverage or sides shown (like cartels, crime, stuff of that sort). So they may have more sympathy and feelings of sorrow towards the ppl. But they do see other aspects as well. I see them enjoying the spiciness of Mexican foods, some of them finding it intense and hard to handle. They view them as very community/family oriented and are welcoming to outsiders.

They think the women are quite sexy, appealing, and open with their sexuality (nice curves, hips). Overall, they think the ppl are more touchy and hands-on with their affection than Koreans are. The guys also respect their drinking culture and the prominent liquors/alcohol that come from there.

I do see some political opinions, so it's likely that the guys keep up with the news about Mexico. I also see they may follow some Mexican influencers/YouTubers as well.

Thailand 🇹🇭

They view this country as also very welcoming and catering to outsiders and foreigners. The members feel like they could roam freely and explore there without feeling uncomfortable or out of their element (may see it as another extension of Korea in terms of familiarity). They see the ppl as very humble and giving without expecting things in return (especially the service workers/staff).

The members know of Thailand's prominent trans community, finds it to be something unique and different from what their used to. I do see some wariness here, likely bc they're not familiar with the custom. I feel like they may have visited Thailand more often than the other 2 countries. I just get an "at home" vibe from them. If not that, one of the members may have lived or vacationed there previously.

They quite like the scenery and historical monuments/buildings there. Find it to be an ideal place for vacationing and residing.

[frankcastlesboobies]

thoughts?

https://www.tumblr.com/dlivee/754431555426992128/jon-bernthal-one-of-the-biggest-zionists-in?source=share

I’m not one for politics but I do 1000% support Palestine and have done since BEFORE October 7th. Having said that no one in Hollywood is perfect and Jon being typecasted constantly into action roles leads him to talk to many many many soldiers. He hasn’t only spoken to one IDF soldier he’s spoken to a variety of different soldiers and he’s also had on his podcast a man who was going to bomb a mosque but after visiting the mosque converted to Islam over the kindness of the Muslims in that mosque so not one part of me thinks jon is islamaphobic which Zionist’s are. Jon has had a lot of different people on his podcast and well and truly i watch a lot of them not bc it’s jon but bc the things that are said are sometimes truly inspiring. Now with Shia labouf too I understand why people don’t agree with that and if you don’t, that’s okay I completely get it, but after watching Jon’s explanation on it at the conan podcast it all made sense as to why he did that. Because he himself had a violent past and no one really helped him. Now of course getting into drunk bar fights is very different then sexual and physical abuse but I believe his heart was in the right place on trying to put Shia on the right path and to help other people who may have resorted to violence onto the right path. He also said “I’ve never put my hands on a woman nor can a woman say I’ve ever put my hands on her and I just want you to know I DONT fuck with that” ( along those lines ) he also said something that has truly stuck with me for life where he said “my job as a real friend isn’t to disown or disregard someone when they’ve done something that I find deplorable, my job is to make sure they never do that again” which has resonated with my own relationships in my life. Also as horrible as the things Shia labouf has done, the abused becomes the abuser which was sadly his case. I hope he manages to sort himself out and get the help he needs and as for Jon I don’t believe he has any negative intentions with his podcast and the people he brings on. I truly believe he’s trying to help people. Having said that it’s a personal thing for me to think this way because I’ve grown up with people who are abusers and people who have been abused. My old man has done some fucked up things to me and my family and if he was famous he’d for sure get clowned on and cancelled lmao but I know the guy, I know he isn’t just “an abuser” I know that because I know him. No one is perfect, but if you want to hate these people when they do something wrong because they’re no longer perfect in your eyes, that’s okay too, because we all want people to look up to.

( not proof read ) ( just want to clarify i one million percent support Palestine and have done since I was a kid. If you support Israel then fuck you )