#bc i dont wanna bother her
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#once again hiding in the tags#i miss her so much sometimes#and like i know i should be thankful we’re still friends and we’re as close as ever but#it’s not the same#i dont think im her go to person anymore#and that shouldnt matter and yet it matters#and like this weekend#she disappeared and i miss her but i know she needs time alone after last weekend#but i wish i could talk to her#bc she’s kinda the only person i feel that really Gets me#and i know there are so many other people i could talk to#but none of them really understand me like she does#and it sucks#bc i dont wanna bother her#and she keeps saying that i dont bother her#but if she felt like talking she would’ve texted back by now#idk#im just sad#and i miss feeling important#and i miss being someones favorite person#anyways. if u read it all the way to here lmk ig maybe i’ll feel less alone#dunno#just need a hug#wouldve been nice if it were hers#but whatever
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I am not taking any corrections on any of this. Felix just wants to play fighting games on stream and give his opinions when not streaming.
(I have ideas for Caspar, Annette, Leonie, and Yuri as well but that will have to wait. but now you know why I couldn't JUST post two of the Faerghus Four yesterday. They are a complete set.)
#fe three houses#sylvain jose gautier#ingrid brandl galatea#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#felix hugo fraldarius#streamer au as if there isnt enough#thats gonna be the actual tag if i ever use it again just bc i know there are probably a million streamer aus#for so many fandoms and i dont wanna be a bother to any of them so.... making mine long as usual#dimitri will join voice call while watching ingrid play her survival games and talk about random things with her#he doesnt play though he just talks to her and they have some of the funniest banter and the chat loves dimitri#thats just a guy theyve never seen they just know hes dimitri thats him thats the guy#and ingrid and sylvain team up to do chaotic plays in multiplayer stuff to be menaces#which is the only reason sylvain bought a game was to be a menace with ingrid
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#do not ask my why it's down to those three + i might watch the top 2#lain fans im sorry if this feels unfair i'll get to your girl someday i promise#(<- i mean. assuming it doesn't win bc yk it's a relatively niche show vs The Anime I Show To Non-Anime Fans of the past several decades)#is it winter break yet? no. not particularly close. but im thinkin about it#i dont like watching/playing stuff around my roommate bc i don't wanna bother her + it's kinda embarrassing ig#she's fallen asleep to some very loud very poorly mixed episodes of star trek tos but i draw the line at y0 cabaret club noises#i want all three of these to be in the dark at 3am kinda experiences that dorm life wouldn't really suit
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hello! i really like your fics 🥵
i just saw him in latex gloves and it made my mind go crazy.. like… imagine gynaecologist!Baekhyun, examining the reader with his slender fingers ahh it’d be pure heaven 😇
(sorry if it’s weird, i hate my mind too)
hahahaha thank u for loving my fics, babie! <3 :') omg YES the latex gloves and the doctor coat had me 😵💫😵💫😵💫 wow i kinda need to write gynecologist!baekhyun asap
#💌#anonie#like imagine ur going to ur gyno for ur triennial pap smear/pelvic exam & he walks in introducing himself#and ur like “um. no. ur not my doctor. where's dr. so-and-so”#and then he'd tell u that ur usual dr. is out on maternity leave and he's filling in for her#and ur like “ok no offense but can i get somebody else to do it”#and then he'd be like “wow this is actually the first time in my life where a woman is rejecting me”#and then he'd look towards the paper towel dispenser to see his reflection in it wondering if he's got something on his face or something#and then you'd groan and be like “never mind it's fine lets just get this over with”#and then he'd do his thang and ur trying so fuckn hard not to react inappropriately cus frankly you dont wanna get sued lmfao#and then he'd finish his exam and leave and then you go out with ur girly pops later on that night and then get stupid drunk#and ur telling them ur experience w baekhyun#and then u go to the bar for another drink and a man stands beside u and goes “whatre you drinking?”#and u dont even bother to look over at him#already rolling ur eyes to urself cus this happens at least once every time u go out cus ur hot DUH?#then he picks up on ur energy and goes “come on ur gonna reject me twice in one day?”#and then u snap ur neck towards him and go wide eyed#cus the man standing right next to you is looking at you w a knowing smirk bc he literally had his fingers in u just a few hours ago#dr. byun save meeeeeeee
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will forever have a soft spot for chloe cause yeah dawg i get it we can try to avoid becoming attached out of the overwhelming fear of being abandoned again but miserably fail together
#she's not the best person ever#but no one is#and i'm not excusing a lot of her actions#like the way she acted when kate called max will always leave me biting my fist out of frustration#but people love to just stare at the surface n focus on the parts of her that aren't great#n don't bother to wonder what got her there#the part that jumps to conclusions and does things out of pure selfishness#and that part that doesn't really think things through...#like shooting that damn bumper#but i GET IT#putting so much trust and love into people just to have them disappear on you especially if you dont know if its intentional#not getting closure can do SO much damage it's not even funny#n it legit can just make you feel like an idiot when you look back like#why did i try so hard just to end up alone#like this girls life went downhill at the age of 14#she just like me fr 😭😭😭😭😭😭#no but#it's hard not to feel like the worlds against you#even at the end she acknowledges that she's been selfish#SO#i don't like believing that she chooses to be this way yknow like#i truly think that she believes acting like a hardass all the time is the only way she'll be able to get by anymore#she lost her dad n then max n then tried again with rachel and then lost her#i'd be fuckin insane too#girl just doesn't wanna be hurt anymore#there's better ways of coping and acting but overall i get where she's coming from#n ill always save her bc i genuinely believe that she deserves a second chance#to live her life and find happiness again#life is strange#chloe price
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help someone please make me be an adult cus i really just don't want to.
#hghhhhhhhhhh i really need to actually go get a fucking car. but. im scarsd <3#i want to call my dad and see if he'd be willing to talk to me about it cus im. a mess.#and 1. my mom is currently dealing with shit of her own and i dont wanna bother her and#2. she would be hard to talk to about this anyway bc shes still against me doing financing. though at least she explained her reasoning.#but i want to talk to my dad cus hes done shit like this before ;;; at least on SOME level ;;;;;#i don't actually know how many cars he's bought from like. a dealership. but still.#he HAS bought cars before#and he understands jargon and shit better than me and im anxious#and i just want to get this one thing done so i can stop worrying about my car giving up the ghost on me at any point in time#ough#i meant to call my insurance company earlier to see if i could get a ballpark number for full coverage but didnt#bc the Anxiety. you understand. s#shh ac
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oh.my god. familiarity does breed contempt
#i think he h8s me#hes been so snippy and so obviously tired of me#literally asked 2 move seats an he called me an my other friend drama queens an that we were children😇#nit my fault i dont wanna sit nxt 2 a guy who touches ppl an calls me AND U slurs#omg i feel like i cant do anything at all anymore bc itll piss him off#cant even walk nxt 2 my other friend w/o thinkin im abt 2 set him off#ughfhdhdj#js go hang out w the girl u so obv prefer over us#idec#i used 2 b bothered by it but idc now#he doesnt like me so y shuld he keep hanging out w me#and he called me fucking her during an argument#i dont care#u dont even respect me anymore#call me names but oh my god i thot u @least respected my prns UR ALSO TRANS Y WULD U DO THAT#SRRY IM NOT TRANSITIONED ENUF 4 U???#SRRY?? WHAT THE FUCK DO U WANT ME 2 DO#OH MY GOD#i luv him i do#hes my friend#but idk im js a bit irritable l8ly#we have prelims nxt mnth n everythin#so ig every1 is#ughhhhhfhdjekeh#i dunno#i dont h8 him#but he is pissing me off#rant#rivers rambles <3
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you know i don't bring this up as a light anecdote because it involves me being talked about in really perverted ways behind my back. but when i was like 20 i was part of this large group of friends that was mostly a bunch of guys, and a couple of girlfriends. and the energy if you were a girl starting to hang around them was like. "ok, so who are you gonna hook up with/date?" and it didn't last long bc of course when the answer ended up being "well none of you," the patience they had for me evaporated. lol. so i was being talked about among literally every single one of them behind my back in a gigantic group chat, of like literally everyone in the original group chat (including the ppl who never fucking used it, and it was over twelve people) minus a few other ppl they didn't like, decidedly. and eventually one of my GOOD friends (that i am still friends w to this day) told me about it and then there was the whole drama of people not being able to accept consequences for their actions, not owning up to being cowardly bullies, etc... yawn yawn yawn. truly that was some stupid middle school shit from a bunch of immature ppl that i didn't really take to heart. not the guys, anyway. i was honestly very hurt by a couple of girls who partook in it though, that i thought genuinely liked me and who i genuinely liked in return, so that was shocking to me.
but anyway. after this all happened my sister went OFF on this one guy in particular. bc he had been a nuisance before. he was a slimy creep honestly. i used to feel a lot of pity for him bc i thought he was just sad and wanted attention but that was just my 20-year-old nonsense brain way of interpreting it. he was incredibly annoying and would wear girls down, would hop from one girl to another week after week, each one not reciprocating his constant desperate flirting and lovebombing. and there was a joke he participated in about me and my (also queer, female) friend that was particularly crossing a line. so kaily just ripped this guy a new one when he went to try and offer an explanation. like imagine trying to even talk to someone after you just humiliated and bullied their sister... couldn't be me. like i was literally the one being bullied in this instant but i can't imagine the kind of white hot rage i'd be in if someone did that to my sister. you know? so yeah.
at the end of this rant kaily told him "go to hell." you know. like fuck off. go fuck yourself. go to hell. good old indecent words to throw out at someone you loathe, right? i'm literally ONLY bringing this up because i cannot stop thinking, all these years later, about how one of the girls who participated in it, and was the least apologetic about it (in fact weirdly a year later she came back just to taunt me again and tell me how much better her life is without me and how stupid i was for breaking up a 'wonderful' friend group?? yeah that sounds like the behavior of someone who is over it)... i don't remember where but someone told me she talked particularly about that message to that guy and said "kaily told (name) to burn in hell" like. like that whole time she interpreted my sister as like a conservative christian who was calling him a dirty sinner. bc presumably she had never heard the phrase "go to hell" in a non-literal context before, or just never understood it?? like that girl didn't necessarily strike me as incredibly bright or something, in the short time i knew her, but i never would've guessed she could be so dumb...
but for the record that pervert guy yeah he is gonna burn in hell.
#tales from diana#im sorry how much dramatic backstory that anecdote required#that one girl and her friend are still some of the most baffling pieces of that story to me#like i hate to say it but i was not shocked that all but like two of those guys really liked or respected me at all#none of them seemed to like any of the other girls in the friend group#they just barely seemed to tolerate their friends' girlfriends. bc they had to#and some of those guys didn't even seem to like or respect their girlfriends#both of those girls who bullied me were some of 'the girlfriends' and i have to be honest. i wouldnt wanna be 'the girlfriend' there#neither of them are still w their then-boyfriends and im pretty sure for both of them it ended awfully#idk what happened to the really particularly aggressive one who thought kaily said 'burn in hell'#but for some reason like 6 months later when she and her bf broke up she unfriended me on fb#i had never unfriended her in case she wanted to apologize at any point (i had hope... 20 year old nonsense again i was really naive)#but then yeah another 6 months later she and the other girlfriend (still in a relationship at that time) just blew up at me and some others#for like no reason. just bc we all stayed friends... w each other#like i promise u i never went out of my way to bother these girls in any way. directly or indirectly. they just had to say#'its been a year and i still hate you guys' like why. we were literally all adults. we didnt go to school together we never saw each other#we were all just frankly moving on but i guess they were not over it#the other girl whose relationship lasted longer had maybe the worse boyfriend? definitely the worse breakup#he abandoned her for another woman and kicked her out of their living space#she was literally begging on social media for help#and again that guy was a monster who did not seem to really love her. he's married to the other woman now#they have a kid together#idk where either of those girls are now bc basically all their friends abandoned them#feels like if they had chosen their allies better way back when we were 20-21 itd have been different#which is not to blame them. but like. i would not have let that happen to my friends#but the fact that anyone stood up for me when i was being bullied was 'starting drama'#and the fact that they all let their problems pile up until their lives are destroyed? well i guess thats just being civilized and mature#sorry if this is just sounding incredibly judgmental bc i dont think they deserve their situations at all#but i dont think their choices didnt play some role in their being eventually discarded by rotten fuckin men#they were pretty rotten to me too. poor things...
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man yellowjackets would be so much better if it didnt keep cutting back to the present day
#incoming tag rant#I DONT CARE ABOUT THESE GROWN ASS WOMEN SHOW ME THE LORD OF THE FLIES SHIT#like i dont wanna see that shauna is having an affair i wanna see these teenagers go crazy dude#im not kidding i skip through all the present day shit like an ad on youtube bc i dont cAREEEEE#its starting to frustrate me BROOOO#also how are they making three seasons outta this what more story can you tell#bc if its not about the wilderness im not gonna watch it HAHA#one could say im impatient and thats the point of tension and buildup BUT i can argue that these ladies' lives are fucking boring HAHA#i wanna know more about lottie and why she has weird visions (which they allude to in the cold open) bUT we're back to taissa and her bs#n e way both actresses who play misty are great i wanna kick her fucking throat in LMFAOO /pos to the actresses#we dont even see how it traumatized them in present day which would actually be interesting#all we know is shauna is guilty and taissa is vegan now LIKEEEEE who the fuck cares man HAHAH#and i guess someone is blackmailing them? okay ?? and ?????#sidenote does it ever bother anyone else when shows/movies show [usually] girls naked that are supposed to be teenagers ?#like the actress is 20-30 n a consenting adult but in the eyes of the show im supposed to be looking at a 16 year old girl ? thats weird !#seems like a weird loophole that we dont talk about enough ? id rather not see a naked teenager even if its not real thank you very much🧍🏻#takes me out of the show too lmao im like wait this is supposed to be a minor i dont think i should be looking at this :/#why did tumblr gender neutralize my emoji HAHAHA
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oh they fr had bitchnasty sex after this
#tomgreg#I CANT BREATHE HAHAHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh wow. ohhhhhhh wow. oh wow. hahahahahaaaaaaaaaa wow.#GREG REALLY SAID: YOU WANNA FUCK ME SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID.#the way tom goes OHHHhhhh at greg getting bold is Exactly the same tone me and my gf use with each other. just. you know. for reference.#BUT GREG'S LITTLE HEAD GESTURE BEFORE HE SAID PROVE IT LIKE HE REALLY MEANS IT?????? I GOTTA GO#also i'm sorry but they both read so fucking gay to me like so gay. esp greg in this moment. his line for comfry is so like.#it's so. like you just wouldn't do that. i think. if you were straight. I DONT KNOW I JUST FEEL A KINDRED SPIRIT IN HIM I GUESS.#''she seems like a nice.... person'' GIRL WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT AND THE PAUSE BEFORE PERSON I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.#i know what you both are.#like. fuck what else can i say about this scene. they're insane i guess????#oh btw i know for a fact tom thinks greg is the most beautiful weird ass creature he's ever seen#like you know a sea creature that's kinda weird that you'd find at the bottom of the ocean that you see in an aquarium#and you're like wow!! that's odd! but.... so beautiful#like that's greg to tom. yet he's like SHES SO PRETTY AND YOU'RE SO GROSS HAHAHA#like. i see what you're doing you fucking avocado you're like oh don't bother going after her bc you're sweet and she might actually say yes#she might like you for what i like you for and y'all might hook up and i can't be having that!!!#like he's so transparent lmfao.#how do i know tom thinks greg is beautiful?? well who else do you say would be fit to take over from your beautiful wife if she died#ALSO tom is just surprised that greg bit back he's not even like. angry? idk i feel like if anyone else said that they'd be#family guy on the floor pose#about shiv being out of his league i mean#HE EVEN LOOKED AT GREGS MOUTH WHEN HE DID THAT LMFAOOO HE THOUGHT THAT WAS HOT#GOD I HATE HIM HAHAaaaaaaahh#AND AFTER GREG SAYS PROVE IT IT JUST CUTS OFF?!??! DID YALL GO FUCK IN THE BATHROOM IM MDDDWDWKDW#ALSO IF YOU LOOK AT PREV POST/WHAT HAPPENED PREVIOUSLY. THEY TOUCHED EACH OTHER LIGHTLY DIDNT EVEN HUG.#and as i said it felt sort of like ''i don't wanna spoil your outfit we can do that later anyway when we fuck raw''#then you get this. and the cut off. so like. come on what the fuck am i supposed to think. just ignore it??#ALSO sorry. sorry. BUT TOMS FACE DURING IT ALL HES LIKE 20 YEARS YOUNGER!!!!!!! AAARRAHgh#ALSO!!!! sorry. sorry. sorry. but why are the colours the bisexual flag in the bg. why. for what reason.#tom keeps looking at gregs mouth all throughout talking about how he fucks. so fuck him. prove it pussy.
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#rant warning#i feel like im going insane rn#the day before yesterday was my birthday#and one of my friends came over a bit early to help with dinner prep#one thing led to another and she lifted me onto the counter & started going down on me#and then other ppl started to arrive so we had to stop#important context: i have not been topped in several months#and she is the only person im hooking up with rn who will top me#and i am demi so finding new people fucking sucks and takes forever#but shes got 3 partners and i am not one of them#so she does not really have time for me#and i feel so gross for wanting her so badly#but i cant stop thinking about her#and the worst part is idk if it's bc i want Her or just bc i wanna get fucked#and i feel gross#i love her a lot obvs#but i could love a lot of ppl#i just dont rn#ughuguhhuguhghhgh#i miss her a lot but we mostly only see each other in group settings these days#see again: she does not have time#but also i probably am contributing to this bc i never ask her to hang out bc im always scared im bothering her#which i know im not#but im so scared#i hate that im like this#anyway i just have a massive case of blue balls and i feel like a toddler crying about being told no more appy slices
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on silly gender moments with snow: realizing you've been saying "i shouldve been born a guy" since you were like. 10
#IM NOT SAYING THAT IM A GUY yes i am sorta.#its complicated idek#actually you can come out of my draft since im cleaning hi#snow speaks#i was saying this on a different blog bc i was like >_> hmmm dont feel comfy talking about it on main#but then you know what its fine#anyways was having a moment of realization after my friend texted me 'hey girl!' and i was like stomping around like >:I i am not a girl!!!#i cant tell if thats just me not really feeling like i align to a girlthese days and i dont wanna use she/her (or am just v tired of using#them compared to they/them and even moreso he/him since no one bothers with those around me)#also i still joke about this alot which is kinda funny bc i do it half joking and like enough that i can dip out of the convo if they seem#weird about it BUT ANYWAYS LMAOOOO#snows gender: a joke.#anyways i need to look for something inmy drafts
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time to stop and think woah i love my little sister so much.. i saw her yesterday and she told me she broke up w her boyfriend of 6 months a couple days ago and we talked about it for a while (i think hes a dick, she thinks its not that bad, im probably just overprotective of her lol but whatever) and she mentioned that during the breakup he said she had done nothing wrong in the relationship and it was all on him, which it was, and i was just thinking like. "yeah obviously. youre the one person i know who has literally no flaws." like i thought about it for a sec and i cant think of a single trait of hers that i find annoying or that causes me problems or whatever. the only times ive ever found her to be like, a bit too harsh or moody or something is when shes responding aggressively to our mom, and having grown up w our mom i honestly cant blame her at all cause ik she can be really hard to bear with sometimes lol. but like. i dont think weve ever had a single fight in our lives yknow. its rare and precious to have someone so great in your family and im so glad she is there :)
#97#the only thing that saddens me is we dont see each other that often#and its often bc she doesnt ask me to hang out bc shes always anxious about bothering me or something#and its like you never bother me! i always wanna hear from you!#like i was a bit sad that when the breakup happened im not one of the people she called.#i do get that it makes more sense to go talk to your friends but also she did call mom.#and i wish i could get her to think of me as someone she can count on more#but idk how to do that#also for context she is 17. she has the right to be kinda bratty to her parents sometimes shes a teenager lol#and yknow i think in some ways just her being around pushes me to be better..#like sometimes i think 'i want to accomplish more so my sister can be proud of me'#or like 'i want to put more effort into looking the way i want bc i wanna make her look cool when she introduces me to her friends' lol#im like.. too paranoid and anxious and fucked up to get my drivers license still (i want to though)#but often i think 'if i get a bikers license i could go pick her up from school on a bike and thatd make her look cool at school' lol#like im often more concerned about appearing as a cool and interesting person so that my sister can be proud of me moreso than for myself
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🌷
#i cant believe i could've almost been his girlfriend!!!!#im sad that he never asked me and never waited ....#because i know me and im dependable and devoted#i go all in if i love#but instead he .. fell in love fast and quick and i get it. i get why he fell for her i really do so i dont blame him#but... they only lasted a month then they broke up#she left. and i get that she and i are different people#but i cannot fathom how you can have HIM and leave him#i cant even imagine my life without him. he is genuinely all i think about#and she left.... !!!!! i cant understand that (from my pov. she is her own person i know)#i just wish he'd stuck it out and given me a chance (bc he did feel those things for me he said that)#i know the heart want what it wants but oh how i wish#i would've been with him until now. i would've never have left him#i wish i wish he didnt do that bc now he's even more heartbroken and i know it'll just be harder for me to maybe prove myself to him#(btw this sounds super selfish but this is only me venting my feelings!!!)#im still here for him. i've never left. i've been so so patient. isnt that worth anything?#most of the time it feels like he doesnt even appreciate me :( at all#i just cannot believe that HE once upon a time wanted ME to be his gf#if things just had gone a bit differently i would've been so lucky to call myself his#and him mine... that's so crazy to me#that's my dream...#i dont wanna give up on him bc i love him sm i cant imagine any other way my life can go#but.... i cant push if he isnt even replying... i cant bother him too much#then im just crazy#and my anxities arent even letting me message him at all#bc even if i asked if it's ok and he said im not bothering him#im convinced i am. i mean it really seems and feels like i am doing that#so i just cannot even message him..... which makes my life so empty i wanna cry#sometimes i wish i'd never met him bc my love for him has ruined my life now that i cant have him
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instead of getting thanked for making christmas dinner last night, my mother instead gave me a passive aggressive comment about something she said i forgot to tell her about ( but i did tell her ) ('no you didn't ) ( ok ).
merry christmas everyone.
#i also cooked thanksgiving dinner and no thanks for that either#jokes on me tho bc i really thought she was gonna thank me like wow#this year has been so shitty#i am so tired of my family#i am so tired of my mother talking at me about everything that bothers her#forgive me but i dont care anymore#nor do i care what my sister does and im also tired hearing about that#i need getaway plans next year bc i dont wanna be here
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why is intercting with people so hard . Why is life so hard in general.
#Corin's lore#I asked [insert friend's name] if she wants to meet up and she still hasn't answered my text.#Which doesnt bother me. She probably hasnt seen it or cant answer me atm.#But a part of me worries she is avoiding me and hates me or something. Or just doesnt want to idk anymore man.#Idk i just wanna hang out with her. Life isnt very good right now and I havent seen her in about a week and i miss her.#School is hell and i like talking to her and making her happy bcs it helps me ignore my own stuff.#I know shes also busy and shit with school but also it rarely takes her this long to answer my texts so idk#And im not calling her. Im very ackward on the phone#Im in my own personal hell.#I just want her to tell me if we can meet up this weekend or nah!!!!#Will probably delete this later idk#And im also yet again doing my homework and studying at night. Go me! (sarcasm)#Especially since i have to study for history and geography and i literally have a test at latin tomorow(i wanna do VERY well on the test +#+since i love latin and the teqcher and i dont wanna dissapoint her but honestly when ill even study??#My life sucks!!!!!!!
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