#bc i cannot for the love of god draw jackie

[the-lonelyshepherd]

everything i want i swallow

silly valentine’s day post? WRONG!!! toxic yuri

[khruschevshoe]

OFMD Critique: Izzy Hands, "Burying Your Cripples," and That Fucking Finale

(Note: this is a cleaned-up/expanded version of a post I made earlier regarding disability rep in this show bc I was chatting with @itswhatyougive and @notthewriteryourelookingfor about "Burying Your Gays" and the parallels with the "Burying Your Cripples" trope in media, which is often more insidious because people are less primed to notice it and call it out.

Also, although I am analyzing a trope in media in the most unbiased way I can, I am going to get angry. Because this is a show that did its job at making us care about its characters and their portrayals and you can't get mad at me that I did just that.)

On a fourth note when it comes to the problems with the writing in this season of ofmd...the handling of disability. Because good God.

To preface this before anyone jumps down my throat about getting upset: I am disabled myself, both physically and mentally. I carry a small laundry list of mild to moderate conditions that impair my daily functions. I understand what it is like to desire to see characters that carry disabilities similar and dissimilar to my own onscreen. I also understand that there ARE multiple disabled characters in OFMD (ex. Jackie with her wooden hand, Ed with his knee brace, Pete with his cleft palate, Lucius with his mentioned bad back/wooden finger). I UNDERSTAND that these were all generally handled decently well, incorporated without drawing attention to them (although the disappearance of Ed's knee brace was strange to me in season 2, even that I could get with bc personally I only need to use my cane when my knee flares bad and can walk perfectly normally the rest of the time without an aid).

Which is all to say: the way that Izzy's death was written is insidiously (likely unconsciously, but still) ableist. His entire arc this season revolves around community and recovering from trauma and accepting himself both in a queer sense and a DISTINCTLY DISABLED sense. The way he remarks upon his own disability and his acceptance of himself and the way that the show is written to have his crew member ACCOMODATE him joyfully as an EXPLICIT SYMBOL OF LOVE was a breath of fresh air when it comes to disabled characters. I also enjoyed the way that he pokes fun at it occasionally in the same way that I do with my coworkers/friends (joking "oh really, you're going to ask an invalid to do that?" *gestures at my cane*).

But that ending. God, that fucking ending. *vehemently taps table* The fact that this character who opens up, who is accepted for both sides of his identity after dragging himself through the fucking pits over them, is killed. BECAUSE HIS MOBILITY AID COULD BE SEEN BY THE ENEMY. BECAUSE HE WAS SEEN AS UNIQUELY VULNERABLE. And then they FUCKING PULL HIS MOBILITY AID, the very symbol of his acceptance, from his FUCKING BODY SO HE CANNOT BE BURIED WHOLE?

I'm sorry. I really am. I don't mean to get furious about this. But as a disabled person who saw such hope in this character, who saw a storyline about a part of myself that is rarely displayed onscreen (that slow acceptance of the part of yourself you considered broken + the acknowledgement of love by your family/community in the form of loving accommodation without complaint), this hurt me at a very primal level that I didn't know I could be hurt at.

Bringing this back around to the "Burying Your Cripples" trope: the reason why an ending like this is so horrifying is because it is very much telling you that you can have a healing arc, that you can finally find yourself accommodation and acceptance, and it doesn't matter. Your disability will be the thing that kills you.

To people who say that this ending is justified because sometimes death is just random like that, that saying that death makes healing not worth it, I get what you're saying. In real life, of course you're right.

But this is a CLOSED NARRATIVE. It is a story with BEATS that MATTER, made of decisions by writers who had to purposefully decide to put scenes together. There's a reason they're called "arcs"- they're supposed to aim at a specific point. IF YOU LET EVERY CHARACTER IN A SHOW LIVE THROUGH THINGS THAT SHOULD HAVE KILLED THEM EXCEPT FOR THE DISABLED CHARACTER, YOU ARE MAKING A FUCKING POINT WHETHER YOU REALIZE IT OR NOT. Izzy's death is not showing "random chance" or "the risks of piracy"- HE DIED BECAUSE HIS MOBILITY AID WAS VISIBLE.

Lemme repeat that: costume concepts showed that the original design of Izzy's naval outfit covered his wooden hoof. It was a conscious decision to have the shot of the naval officer looking down at Izzy's leg, at his exposed leg, and pinpointing him as the weak one despite there being entire scenes dedicated to showing that he was still as strong as the rest of them. In a show where the budget and runtime was restricted, not a single shot or costume decision was on accident. They had to pay more to green screen in that leg.

If Castiel went to superhell because of his gay confession for Dean, then I cannot think of a clearer way to Bury Your Cripples than having Izzy die because someone saw his mobility aid.

Do I think they did this on purpose? Well, no more on purpose than David Jenkins looking at Izzy's Hayes-Code-era gay coding/arc and saying that he knew that Izzy would have to die because that's what characters like that do. No more on purpose than saying that the mentor character had to die because that's what characters like that do.

Izzy's disability was visible, was the cause of his death, because "that's what happens" to pirates who gain disabilities. They are weaker. They are more at risk.

I'm sorry, but fuck that.

Fuck the idea that in a show that created a careful space in its narrative (for a season and a half at least) for queerness to be treated ahistorically kindly, that often disregarded geographic, historical, and medical accuracy to tell a compelling story, and that purposefully provided racial and body diversity while calling out racism, that the disabled character getting offed is a "kind ending." It's not. It never has been. And I'm tired of accepting that sort of thing.

I am SO GLAD that fanfic exists with better depictions of disabled arcs/endings in OFMD bc I don't know if I could recover otherwise. Hope my fellow disabled folk out there are recovering as well, and that they understand that there is positivity to be made out of poison- it just wasn't what the finale gave us.

[metacrisisdoctor]

love your takes soooo much!

i can't help but notice astrid and joan redforn were very rose-coded love interests (astrid was just a bit of flirting but still), if you ever have the time (and wanted to) i would love to read your thoughts on what role they play in ten/tentoo and rose's relationship...and if you think he ever told her about them 👀

if not, i did also want to thank you for helping me appreciate tentoo and rose so much more than i did when i first watched :)

aw thank you! 🙈💗

oh god, do not get me startedd you will regret this 😂

i don't think joan is rose coded at all, honestly. i think she's rather the opposite of her. racist, judgemental, boring. but that doesn't really matter because the doctor did not love joan because he is not john smith. and more so, joan did not love the doctor. that's the important part of it. i think joan is, honestly, a stand in for rose to show the audience that he wants to be human, that he actively craves that. it's not about joan as a person, which is also part of the problem.

a really interesting parallel to me is when he asks joan to look into his eyes and see him, but she can't and looks away. just that stark contrast to rose putting her hand over tentoo's heart and looking into his eyes, seeing him and obviously believing him. because rose intristically knows him, remember "rose would know." is about rose knowing the right thing to say, it's about her understanding him even if she doesn't know every little aspect of his traumatic past and how she made the present and future have value and excitement.

in s3 the doctor is absolutely drowning (which is why he needs a break from being himself) in his grief of having lost rose, to him losing her was essentially a death and him inviting joan, to me, reads as him searching for rose in other people, because he didn't take the chance to offer his hearts to her when he had the chance and for what? he loved and lost anyway and that is absolutely something he carries with him up until his regeneration.

i can see him telling rose about joan and the entire situation if/when she ever worried about him feeling "trapped" or wanting to leave (which i can see jackie putting in her head bc of her own insecurities which we hear in the audios) but i think there is a lot that isn't focused on, especially his journals:

i absolutely lose my mind at these. especially "i find myself wanting to draw a perfect rose over and over." and "i know face, i know she is my-" this is something that is glossed over but my god, think how massive this is. he had his memories wiped so deeply that he forgot himself, that he can't even remember what the tardis is called, but he remembers HER name. he cannot stop dreaming about her, drawing her. even here he could not escape his love for her, even here there was no respite. THAT is what i think he would tell her. and yes, about joan in the reality of it - how it never occured to him that john would fall in love because he was already so in love with her. but all those things he wanted as john smith are things that live inside him and always did BECAUSE of rose and because of how human she made him, and that's why rose is the only person he could ever live a happy human life with.

i think rose would be jealous and maybe a little hurt, because that's who she is, but i think she would also feel like... how could someone NOT want him? that would floor her. because she doesn't just want the john smith bits, she wants the doctor. she wants all of him and that's what makes them special.

(and tbh, i headcanon that before the cannon started working rose had a meltdown and gave up for a few weeks and had a one night stand with a guy that sort of reminded her of the doctor from a certain angle and was nice but it was unsatisfactory and left her feeling even lonelier- so they're kinda even. remember rose is around 24 in journey's end. they were seperated a while, esp on her end 😭)

i think astrid would be more amusing because she definitely IS rose coded and a lot of it is her flirting with him and him sort of floundering about it, but it being nice to not wanna die for a second too and he enjoyed her company because she reminded him of rose. which i think rose would probably preen about until she finds out astrid also died 💀 like my man COULD NOT get a win!

tldr, i think for their relationship to work (and of course it does) he would have to be honest with her about everything: from her making jack immortal, to donna losing her memories, to everything that happened while they were apart with her being honest about her life in return, BUT i also think that their relationship is largely about healing and living in the present so i don't think they would dwell those things per se. i think their hardest obstacles would be the ptsd they both probably still have about being seperated/apart and, for a while, the fact that ten is losing his absolute mind while they're so happy together. that would be hard. but i think they're just so magnetic and drawn to each other that they can't help but find themselves happy and wrapped up in each other.

[97-liners]

Amg Jackie! Jackie! In case it got buried the part 2 of House That Eats fanart just dropped. I had to lich rally restrain myself from posting each piece as I finished them and show them to you bc I love that fic so much!!

I love all your writing (eyes your cheol fics bc ahem ahem! My cheolrot actually got intense) but A House That Eats will always have such a special special place in my heart. That fic really awoken the slumbering creativity I lost throughout last year 😢 like cannot explain how much it pushed me to explore and test techniques and color palettes I don’t usually work with. and how ultimately it reminded me why I like to draw in the first place bc my god! i know that fic is about grief and death but I never felt so alive 🥺

It’s always on my top fave re-reads and probably has a mark on ‘works that inspired me but times 100’

Thank you so much for writing such a 100284917301/10 🌟🌟🌟🌟 of a fic! And ty for being such a wonderful writer like I hope you get lots of cheol kisses in your dreams or the happiest dreams with svt like ily!!

— chia 🐏

@dalkyeom CHIA HOW DO I EVEN ARTICULATE HOW THIS MAKES ME FEEL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

they’re sooooo good i feel insane i can’t believe something i made could inspire you like that 😭😭😭😭 like your talent and skill and creativity is unreal auugihhhhghhh

[tarantulas4davey]

oh my god i just wanna let you know that. i get emotional every time you leave long tags on one of my fics ?? and i cannot thank you enough for being so kind and supportive ?? and since i Do Not Have The Words to express how much i love u and how much ur support means to me.... here are some thoughts about ralbert in the modern art-verse that i've had recently !!! as a thank u gift !!! bc i appreciate you so much !!!!

-albert and race are, like, best friends with jack through the entirety of high school. -their group consists mainly of race, al, jack, and charlie, and they all cause SO much shit -literally theyre the worst to have in class together, but that increases tenfold when it's just race and al (obviously, because they're soulmates, so, DUH, they're gonna be practically inseparable) -but race and al in one class together..... whew, that's a Handful. -it only get's worse when they realize that they're soulmates, sometime during the middle of junior year. -for some reason, they just ?? never really talked about soulmates, never showed each other the marks they'd get, so they didn't put two and two together until race wrote an address down on albert's hand and saw the address reflect onto his own skin as well. -naturally they freak out a bit, because, OH, they're soulmates, and yeah they've been best friends for years and yeah they've almost kissed each other a lot before but OH it's actually REAL now -but because they figure it out so young, they're like. so prepared for the Real World together. about a month after graduating high school, they get married, because why not? they're going to spend the rest of their life together anyway, it's only fair. -they start looking into adoption during their senior year at NYU, and adopt a three year old girl a few months after they graduate college. -this makes her about 5 or 6 when the actual fic with jack and davey takes place !! -jack is her favorite uncle and he absolutely spoils the shit out of her

in conclusion: modern art ralbert !!!!!

JAC IM CRYING YOU WROTE ME HEADCANONS FOR MY BOYS AS A GIFT THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING PLS

naturally i have ✨all the thoughts✨ about them cause,,,,,, hi it me, so here’s my additions to them

also go read chapter 1 of modern art here . go read it. go 😡

as you can see by the whole,,,,, married out of high school and parents by the end of college, race and al are kinda,,,,,, fiery??

i literally do not know how to phrase this

they love each other with everything they have and would’ve even if there’s wasn’t any provable soulmates in the world cause regardless of anything around them they’re made for eachother

that being said,,,,, they’re also the blueprint for the “idiots to idiots but in love” trope,,,, so it takes them a minute sometimes

like i’m imagining there’s so many times that they should’ve fuckin noticed and just,,,,, made an excuse for it without realizing it doesn’t quite make sense

race letting jack draw on his arms in class and then seeing the e x a c t same design on albert’s hand at lunch cause he has long sleeves and race just being like “oh jack got you too!”

like no babe

but al, being al, was just like “oh yeah he must’ve” even though thAT DOESNT ADD UP UGH YOU MORONS GET IT TOGETHER

wild turn around cause i keep getting slapped with thoughts

these boys, just like nearly all their friends, haven’t had the,,,, easiest life

they both lost their bio moms quite young, and it was something they bonded over

so when they adopt a little girl,,,,, she’s named emmaline after albert’s mom, and her middle name is aurora after race’s

she’s loud and charming like race, and funny and sarcastic like al, and she’s even got lots of that kelly charisma from trying to be just like her uncle jackie

UGH THEYRE SO CUTE

jac i love you very very much and i promise you don’t have to give me things in return for me just,,,,, telling you how wonderful you are but THANK YOU CAUSE I LOVE THIS A LOT

[khruschevshoe]

On a third note when it comes to the problems with the writing in this season of ofmd...the handling of disability. Because good God.

To preface this before anyone jumps down my throat about getting upset: I am disabled myself, both physically and mentally. I carry a small laundry list of mild to moderate conditions that impair my daily functions. I understand what it is like to desire to see characters that carry disabilities similar and dissimilar to my own onscreen. I also understand that there ARE multiple disabled characters in OFMD (ex. Jackie with her wooden hand, Ed with his knee brace, Pete with his cleft palate, Lucius with his mentioned bad back/wooden finger). I UNDERSTAND that these were all generally handled decently well, incorporated without drawing attention to them (although the disappearance of Ed's knee brace was strange to me in season 2, even that I could get with bc personally I only need to use my cane when my knee flares bad and can walk perfectly normally the rest of the time without an aid).

Which is all to say: the way that Izzy's death was written is insidiously (likely unconsciously, but still) ableist. His entire arc this season revolves around community and recovering from trauma and accepting himself both in a queer sense and a DISTINCTLY DISABLED sense. The way he remarks upon his own disability and his acceptance of himself and the way that the show is written to have his crew member ACCOMODATE him joyfully as an EXPLICIT SYMBOL OF LOVE was a breath of fresh air when it comes to disabled characters. I also enjoyed the way that he pokes fun at it occasionally in the same way that I do with my coworkers/friends (joking "oh really, you're going to ask an invalid to do that?" *gestures at my cane*).

But that ending. God, that fucking ending. *vehemently taps table* The fact that this character who opens up, who is accepted for both sides of his identity after dragging himself through the fucking pits over them, is killed. BECAUSE HIS MOBILITY AID COULD BE SEEN BY THE ENEMY. BECAUSE HE WAS SEEN AS UNIQUELT VULNERABLE. And then they FUCKING PULL HIS MOBILITY AID, the very symbol of his acceptance, from his FUCKING BODY SO HE CANNOT BE BURIED WHOLE?

I'm sorry. I really am. I don't mean to get furious about this. But as a disabled person who saw such hope in this character, who saw a storyline about a part of myself that is rarely displayed onscreen (that slow acceptance of the part of yourself you considered broken + the acknowledgement of love by your family/community in the form of loving accommodation without complaint), this hurt me at a very primal level that I didn't know I could be hurt at.

I am SO GLAD that fanfic exists with better depictions of disabled arcs/endings bc I don't know if I could recover otherwise. Hope my fellow disabled folk out there are recovering as well, and that they understand that there is positivity to be made out of poison- it just wasn't what the finale gave us.