#bc i can NOT sleep i need to process all thats happened

[kirishwima]

today is. one of the shittiest days i have ever experienced

[hydrossity-zone]

Ive batch-processed 15 Sonic SpeedSim models over the past 5 hours I swear I can smell colors

[toastsnaffler]

woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better

[jamesbukkakebarnes]

.

[bcolfanfic]

need more about the bucks' baby micah, headcanons or blurb i want more!!! (please, and when you have time ofc)

for ref

doing this in headcan0ns list form bc im tired from the time zone switch back to the states

the bucks do, as reffed in that blurb, turn the car around from going to wisconisn to go back to wyoming. end up having to get a hotel somewhere for the night so they don't drive more or less 20 hours roundtrip themselves into an early grave. but yeah.

swing josie by gale's sister’s house on the way back to sheridan. don't explain all the details but have to give her *some* explanation when they go from headed them to wisconsin to now suddenly back in wyoming.

maybe don't explain that this baby is her biological sibling right away but just. say that someone they know needs help with their baby, and that they gotta go back because they don't want him to be in the hospital by himself. pretty word salady but they're exhausted and she's five so. it is what is for the time being.

get to the hospital and get scrubbed in to down to the nicu with natalie to go see him. john's head still feels like his head is still in in spin-mode to the extent that he's not really processing everything fully.

but gale sees that itty bitty baby in his little nicu incubator with a little tube in his nose and is just. distraught.

has to sit down after a minute because its making his chest hurt. he just can't fathom how little he is and how he's in *danger* and how connected he already feels to him.

he gets reallll "woowoo" about the fact that he finally brought up wanting another kid to john all of 20 minutes before they got the call about him. feels like he somehow already intrinsically knew about him before he actually knew.

so kinda the reverse of how it was with josie- gale instantly feels bonded to him and john has a little bit of a harder time.

loves him so much already, is worried sick with all the preemie health stuff he's got going on. its just hard to process how fast everything is happening. if him and gale had sat down and decided to go the infant adoption route that'd be one thing.

in that case he'd have a lot more time to work through his hurdles re: being scared of having a baby, of being responsible for someone's life from scratch etc etc. but here he only had the drive back from wisconsin.

calls his mom a lot. calls curt a lot. that helps.

lil guy doesn't have a name for the first week of his life lmao. they just call him buddy and baby boy and then john is sitting up w/ gale one night and asks if he's given any thought to his name.

they land on micah curtis. micah as a riff off of michael the archangel, and curtis after their best friend (:

curt cries when he finds out. sweet man.

john's mom comes out from wisconsin and when she's there at the hospital that's when both the bucks go to gale's sister's house and have to explain to josie- the best they can- the full details.

poor peanut is so conflicted about Everything. has been confused about not seeing either of her dads in the same room for almost two weeks. is excited about having a baby sibling- but confused about why if he's /her/ sibling from her mom why she can't see her mom.

just a lot of Big Feelings, which gale and john handle the best that they can. good dads <3

i think it finally really Clicks for john when micah is doing okay enough that theyre allowed to hold him. looks at that lil guy in his lil nicu baby beanie sleeping on his chest and just. yeah. big thats my son, i would do anything for you feelings.

john gets really into sitting by his lil incubator and reading to him. nice way to bond that isn't super overwhelming. makes gale heart happy to watch. his boyssss.

this is getting super long lmao so ill cut if off here. but i wove micah- and rachel and i have developed a looottt of lore about him as a teenager/young adult (specifically re: him and wyatt- helen's baby with nash/ev's step son). so feel free to come prompt me to yap more!

[mintpiastry]

OKAY since i’ve an exam in less than 10 hours and as of now i do not possess the mental capacity to fully develop it as a story (or even make it make sense) here you have a MATTDRAI time loop/soulmates au idea (that probably doesn’t make much sense and could be written much better) inspired by THE handshake™️ and Florida!!! by Taylor Swift:

for our noble purpose (mattdrai) in this world people realise they are soulmates after getting to know each other long enough for a connection to happen, strangers can’t be bonded together as strong feelings need to be involved in the bonding process, sometimes the bond manifest in few months other times it takes years. so long story short even if they have been fooling around for ages it’s only during the 2022 BoA playoff series that Leon and Matthew get bonded and realise they are soulmates, they both silently agree to not acknowledge it until after their respective playoffs are over, or so Leon thought…of course this doesn’t happen :) and Matt disappears and ghosts Leon that has to discover from a social media post that his supposed soulmate got himself traded as far as possible while also remaining in the nhl (at least they are in the same continent) from him, at this point all leon’s thoughts about making it work get thrown out of the window bc fuck it even someone like him can understand the message tkachuk wanted to deliver with the trade.

fast forward to the present where it’s game 7 of the Stanley cup finals (strong emotions are very much involved!!!) and this time it’s matthew’s team the one winning, during the handshake line they barely interact, but the bond is still there, uncomfortable and never spoken of, Leon disappears in the locker room with his teammates to lick his wounds in peace and Matthew proceeds to celebrate with his team all night and almost all the day after he goes to bed with the intention of sleeping few hours to start partying all over again, life goes is supposed to go on; or so they thought but soul bonds cannot be left unattended for so long without consequences (oh you don’t wanna talk about it? fine, the universe will make you anyway :):) ) and that’s why Leon wakes up once again in so much pain seated on the bus going to the arena and he has to play in game 7 of the final again and again and again; the rough part is that he never wins (later he will realise that it’s not the point of the loop so he cannot change it no matter how much he tries to) [note: Leon is sooooo going to therapy after the loop breaks] but that doesn’t stop him from trying over and over again; for a while he thinks the right answer to break the loop is to win the cup after a while he realises that while that is untrue somehow it’s still connected to the game; he is also convinced that no one else is stuck with him because there are no hints about it thats until the tenth/twentieth/ who knows loop (?) when Matthew happens to change the established pattern and during the handshake, instead of ignoring him, he stops to talk and there he is referencing something happened during a previous loop and Leon is so surprised and angry about it because his soulmate is looping too but instead of reliving one of his worst day ever he is reliving what is probably the best one, and it’s not fair, also he is pissed because of course matthew spent all the loops until this one winning and basking in the glory of it all instead of informing leon. So leon looses it in front of everyone and it’s only because someone holds him tight from the back that tkachuk doesn’t get murdered right there; whatever explanation tkachuk tries to give, he doesn’t want to listen to it, he is done.

The next loop he decides to not play.

[bonefall]

HI ok u dont gotta post this i just wanted to give some info bc u mentioned wanting to do disability right and i just wanted to give info u might find useful. Leopardstar has diabetes and while idk if she gets murked or not before that goes into full force, but shed absolutely not be herself during that whole shebang.

The first signs would be increaded dirt place visits to go pee, and needing to drink a lot. Wouldn't be too hard for cats to miss this since they live in riverclan, Clan Of Water, but it'd be an UNUSUAL amount. Personally, i noticed it myself and genuinely got concerned bc i was drinking triple what i normally did and would wake up in the middle of the night specifically to chug water.

Next thing would be her getting skinnier and out of breath more easily. Her body would effectively be eating her muscles away and shed 100% be unable to fight well or even at all at this point- accounting for exercise and a relatively low carb diet of fish, maybe these symptons would show up after a month and a half? At this point a medicine cat could notice the odd lack of energy but i doubt it'd be obvious what was happening, the medicine cat might pat her on the back, give her some herbs (honey or berries would be BADDD), and send her off.

Soon after shed start throwing up sugar, which just straight up burns ur throat like hell. Its hell. She'd also not feel too hungry now- in reality shes starving, and her body is too busy not dying to notice nor care. At this point if Mistyfoot did Her Thing, Leopardstar would barely be able to stand let alone fight her. In her final days shed be completely weakened and barely able to focus, and she'd start getting pains in her stomach and pelvis. I was unfortunate enough to cut it extremely close, and when i was diagnosed i was told i had less than half a week to live if i hadnt went to the hospital. Depending on if the medicine cat catches on, they could absolutely be making everything 50 times worse by feeding her berries or honey to soothe her burning throat, feeding a cycle of eating honey and throwing up the sugars in the honey. I did this with gingerale and it SUCKED.

Now!! If you want to have leopardstar put up a FIGHT and have her have diabetes and live with it, theres a few ideas. Firstly, only type 1 i believe can be treated without insulin. Secondly, Bloodclan could 100% steal human insulin and give it to Riverclan. The two are compatible i /think/. Three, idk the exact process but apparently you can make ur own insulin using the pancreas from animals, which she could use to survive. Four, without medicine, shed have to do a lot of exercise and manage her diet. With a raw fish diet it's much easier, but she'll probably not be too happy about not being able to eat tunnelbuns without feeling like crap and throwing it up after.

Going down the Bloodclan sourced medicine route, Misty could also kill her using the medicine. Insulin is a delicate balance- too little and you start throwing up and ur body eats u again. Too much and you have no energy to move and you can die within the next hour. Doesnt even take that much, a dose of 18 when youre supposed to take 16 can be deadly. Double that amount and i doubt even a medicine cat could save her even if she knew- low bloodsugars make someone irrational or emotional + extremely whoozy, and its HARD to force feed someone honey when theyre adamant that theyre perfectly fine and just a little sleepy, thats all. In her sleep, and Leopardstar would maybe wake up briefly, feel extremely tired and odd and unable to move, and fall asleep and die.

Anyways this has been ur probably too long rant about diabetes and leopardstar hopefully its helpful in some way o7

[ID: A student is taking notes]

You know, in my rewrite, Leopardstar is actually going to be killing Crookedstar. Not in a way where she would be caught-- I had been thinking it would be a generic poisoning. Maybe it would be dramatic and fascinating if Leopardstar had actually pulled this insulin trick... only to then recognize that Mistyfoot is trying to poison her in the same way.

I'm committed to Leopardstar dying in a battle with Mistyfoot. I had this awesome idea for the Sweet Nothings AU where a Villain Thornclaw lead Hollyleaf somewhere that the winner wouldn't be caught for their victory, so they could have a proper fight to the death.

What if I used that plotbunny here instead? Leopardstar realizing that Mistyfoot had brought her the wrong dose of insulin (I will work out how they get insulin when I make a herb guide for it), and deciding if either of them is going to die, they will die honorably. Not by trickery, but by the strength of their claws.

So she calls for Mistyfoot, tells the Clan they will be confronting rogues at the border, and then they march towards their final confrontation.

[hyprfixate]

hold on tight↝ [L.F] :: teaser

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ summary: you're unhappy. you're almost certain that there isn't anything in this world that can make you happier, and you're right. what you don't account for, however, is something otherworldly flipping your life on its head. or, should you say someone

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ pairing: lee felix x reader

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: 950

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ tags: angst, non idol au, fantasy au kind of, felix is an angel literally and figuratively, mentions of suicidal thoughts without going into detail, reader is depressed, she/her pronouns used for the reader, slowburn, strangers to lovers, putting angst again bc thats how much angst there is.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ author’s note: hello! this is a small teaser for a much longer upcoming fic that i'm still in the process of writing! i haven't written fanfic in a very long time so i apologize if i'm rusty lol. i hope you guys enjoy! :)

quickly skimmed, ignore typos lol

-

Felix doesn’t remember when he became the front desk worker for purgatory. 

He assumes it was a while ago, since his fellow co-workers have all come and gone, some of them eons older than him. He’s always been “their little Lixie”, and while most of them have gone to a place he can’t reach, the nickname still lives on. Their little Lixie remains seated behind a mahogany desk, clicking away at his computer and waiting for the next person to approach him.

Felix is the first face a person sees when they die. Guy, the one in charge of it all, says it’s because of his contagious grin and never ending happiness. Felix could light up a room with his smile alone if he wanted to. That kind of energy helps people calm down– makes them feel at ease. Another perk about him is that he never feels lonely, despite how desperately lonely the job is. Felix knows that even though nobody stays, there is always someone new to talk to.

Like now.

“Hi!” he chirps to the person walking up to his desk. They’re dressed in pajamas with a severe case of bedhead, so from the looks of it they were probably sleeping when it happened. They look scared, and he pouts.

“Are you okay?”

“Where am I?”

He leans back in his seat, pointing to the gold plaque above his head. “Purgatory.”

“I’m dead?”

It’s the same script every time someone comes in, but his soft smile never wavers. “Yeah,” he says softly. “I’m so sorry. It’s not really so bad here, you know?”

He pulls himself back up to his computer. “Could I get your name?”

Stuttering, the person gives him their name. He presses a few keys on his keyboard before the computer dings softly, setting off the printer next to him.

“Oof.” He grimaces, eyes racing across the lines on the screen. “Heart attack did you in, yeah? That’s always the worst way to go. Have you had heart problems before?”

“Yeah,” they stutter out. “But I never-- no one told me they could kill me.”

Felix peers up through his long lashes, giving them another small smile. He knows it’s best to move on, rather than walk them through the speech about how everything and anything can kill you, so it’s a bit silly to expect that something as serious as heart issues would just be swept under the rug. Most people don’t appreciate being lectured when they die.  Instead, he pulls the paper from the printer and scans it quickly.

“Seems like you have some business to attend to first,” he hums. “You left behind two kids and a partner, I see. They’re going to need your presence in the next few days. Afterwards you’ll get to go upstairs.”

“Like, Heaven?”

“If that’s what you want to call it, that’s what it is,” he smiles. The person in front of him softens at that. He hands them the paper and points at a set of doors on his left. “Go through those double doors and walk down the hall to room 202. Knock and ask for Christopher, tell him Felix sent you.”

He waves, cheeks puffing up in a genuine grin as they wave back and disappear beyond the double doors. Once they’re out of sight, he pulls out his notepad from the desk drawer and scribbles furiously.

No glow, almost faded.

While Felix undoubtedly had a lot of questions about his appearance and business in purgatory, his biggest question was something no one could answer.

Why was he the only one who glowed?

At first, before they got computers in the office, Felix had no idea what he looked like. He knew had soft, sandy brown hair; Guy would always ruffle it and tell him he was handsome, but he didn’t know why he was handsome. Once technology advanced and they got a desktop, that question was answered thanks to the webcam. In addition to noticing his features, Felix also noticed that his body was outlined with a bright, sparkly gold light.

No one else in purgatory had that, not even Guy. Christopher, who worked in the office of external affairs, told Felix it was probably just his happiness manifested into something physical. Christopher himself was covered in tattoos, as he was known through the office for always knowing what to say to comfort people. Felix would agree with that theory, but he’s met countless people just as happy as himself with no glow.

Since then, he’s been keeping a journal of every face who’s walked through his office. Some people were more faded than others-- those were the people who wouldn’t spend too long here. Some people were dark and vivid, like the image of a 4K TV screen (not that Felix knew what 4K was, he’d heard about it from a couple visitors and adopted the phrase himself). Those people were usually there for a long time. But no matter how long a person was set to stay, they never had a glow like he did.

He tosses the notepad back into the desk drawer, leaning back into his seat and sighing. He didn’t have much time to himself, though, as the elevator outside the office door dinged.

He leans forward, clearing his throat and running his “script” in his head. He runs his hands through his hair before looking up with a bright smile.

“Hi! Welcome to…”

His voice trails off and his jaw goes slack as his eyes settle on the person in front of him. 

Yeah. Felix had seen lots of dead people, sure, but he’d never, ever seen one that glowed like he did.

Until now.

[violentviolette]

Honestly have no idea if this is a narc crash or bpd splitting episode, but when someone implies I'm not good enough or accidentally rejects me. Or doesn't fit my expectations or standards or whatever, I often just get so enraged and disappointed in myself. Then I get upset with them. I feel like, I should be getting what I want and what I need. I need them to see me for who I am, and adore me and respect me and see my worth. But when I just... struggle with my own self-esteem, I just... feel so awful. I just dissociate, I lose my appetite, I get angry easily, and my brain won't shut up about how this person rejected ME. How they don't like ME. That I'm *flawed*. That I'm worthless. I might get paranoid that they're talking about me behind my back, using info against me, or they may abandon me. I begin to start thinking I'm superior to them in every way, shape, or form. I split on them at one point, obvi. But, I just... I end up going back to unhealthy behaviours (being dysfunctional, not taking care of myself, being too hard on myself, trying to be too perfect all the time, etc.) as a way to cope with these feelings of worthlessness. I just... get extra "I'm envious and jealous of you" feelings, and constantly compare myself with others on small levels like how well they can brush their teeth or how much sleep deprivation can they truly handle? Or how good their imagination is?? Idk. I just... I get so incredibly lonely, frustrated, and push everyone away during these times. I just want nobody around me, but also need someone to validate me and my existence. Bc it's so hard to validate myself, all alone. Idk. What the hell is this experience? And what do I call it?

at it's core, that's a spiral. it sounds very much like a narc crash, but i also dont know much about how bpd splits feel and so i cant comment on how close it is to those, but thats very much how those spirals used to happen for me it's essentially a distress meltdown. so something upsetting happens, but because we never learned how to properly manage and handle distress, there's no framework to catch ourselves and validate ourselves, so we spiral down an abusive self hating rabbit hole. in an effort to claw our way out we attempt the maladaptive coping strategy of devaluing everything around us and everyone that hurt us because we dont know how to build ourselves up, only tear others down. but that doesnt actually work or give us real substantial comfort and so we just continue to wallow in lonely self hating misery and default to another maladaptive coping mechanism which is to purposefully reject the thing we need/want in order to further punish ourselves so if we want validation and connection, we self isolate and reject ppl and push them away. we unconsciously continue to punish and abuse ourselves because we learned during development that when we are rejected its because we fucked up, and if we fucked up we need and deserve to be punished, and so we unconsciously punish ourselves in place of our previous abusers but then our child-brain kicks in and tries to defend us from that punishment by again, devaluing and attacking everyone around us. because we also learned during our abuse that if someone hurts u, then u hurt them back to teach them a lesson. but none of these are real or healthy solutions so they dont make anything better, just worse dbt has a lot of good coping strategies and mechanisms to stop those disordered patterns and redirect behavior towards more healthy and sustainable coping mechanisms and distress tolerance. i'd definitly start there using some of those keywords to search for more reading on it. it's a slow process and it takes a lot of steps and it doesnt feel like its working at first, but if u force urself to practice those techniques over and over eventually they very much do click and u realize ur not hitting those spirals anymore and are able to stop them early on so u dont fall the whole way down

[doctorwhoisadhd]

also, re: my crazy insane dw viewing order, can i just say, i really like what i did with the end of s9:

under the lake/before the flood

the girl who died/the woman who lived

adam

reset/dead man walking/a day in the death

exit wounds

the day of the doctor

the zygon invasion/the zygon inversion

sleep no more

whatever happened to sarah jane?

turn left

fathers day

the temptation of sarah jane smith

face the raven

heaven sent

the stolen earth/journeys end

hell bent

the wedding of sarah jane smith

the husbands of river song

the waters of mars

immortal sins

the end of time part one/part two

the return of doctor mysterio

the pilot

basically what i did was i started by taking 12 era straight through, bc i think 12 of all doctors really would be served very very poorly by taking him out of order just bc of the insane amount of linear development he goes through, and then i interspliced appropriate episodes throughout. thought process for all this below the cut!!!!!

the stolen earth/journeys end needs to come before hell bent + the pilot - donna's tragedy is important for the memory wipe stuff

turn left should come before stolen earth/journeys end AND face the raven/heaven sent - sets up the former, is a good match for the latter, and doesnt break up the story

wedding of SJS should come after stolen earth/journeys end since thats how it aligns with 10's timeline (bonus points for putting it with THORS bc thats a fun combination)

whatever happened to SJ? needs to be before wedding of SJS (+ turn left) to establish the trickster

throw in temptation of SJS between turn left and wedding of SJS establish more about the trickster

hey wouldnt it be funny to put fathers day right before temptation of SJS because its the same exact plot

waters of mars + end of time go after wedding of SJS to keep 10's timeline going

throw in immortal sins bc tricksters brigade, and put it after waters of mars bc of the themes of fucked up suicide stuff. also goes well with clara's departure because of companion doctorification/immortality/codependency

day of the doctor before zygon invasion/inversion to establish the osgoods

adam + exit wounds after girl who died/woman who lived bc of themes of forgetting your past / someone from ur past who u wish were different (gray to jack / me to 12)

reset/dead man walking/day in the death between adam + exit wounds to establish dead owen. also wanted to place dead owen episodes in here bc of how crazy insane the jack/owen + 12/clara parallels are. this was the only place to put them that made sense

[quodekash]

RGJFDNLGEJKSGJEKSNDGKJBRDSKJGB OS2 MSP TIME OS2 MSP TIME OS2 MSP TIME OS2 MSP TIME HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP I MIGHT DIE

i need to take a break before i start because holy hell idk if im gonna make it

HOLY HELLLL

SOUNDWINSOUNDWINSOUNDWINSOUNDWINSOUNDWINSOUNDWINSOUNDWINSOUNDWIN GUYS SOUNDWIN ARE ON MY SCREEN FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE FEBRUARY HOW THE HELL DO I DEAL WITH THIS SOMEONE HELP

"welcome to my school president in the multiverse of cuteness" I SWEAR, IS THAT TITLE A PARODY OF MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS? PLEASE TELL ME ITS MAKING FUN OF MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS

AAAAAAAAAAAA TINN HELLO TINN HELLO HELLO

THEYRE EVEN IN EACH OTHER'S ROOMSSSSSSS

i love how gun sleeps on a double bed but he sleeps right in the middle with the other pillow smushed haphazardly to the side

GJKREDGF THE EXACT PARALLELS I LOVE THIS

THIS IS LIKE EXACTLY GUN'S WARM UP SPEECH

PROBABLY WORD-FOR-WORD

i smell merch

why is it outside in this universe

GIUERBGUBREOGB

SOUND IS THERE

WIN ISNT PART OF THE BAND YET

SOUND IS THERE

AND TIW IS THERE

HELLO TIW

WE ARE FINALLY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF TIW'S INCREDIBLE RANGE OF SKILLS

AND YO WITH PHAT'S GLASSES?????

GNEJRKSDBG

sound with the game is just making me think of james from futs, which, no, i have not yet seen, but i do know some things

wait or is satang's character koh

i cant remember

and no, i have not yet moved on from this one frame, just let me appreciate it for a little bit longer

i want this chair

but also i dont

it would be fun to curl up in like a weirdly shaped cat

i wish i could see all these posters in full

HOLY CHINZHILLA SHRINE BUT LION

i see weve already got the soundwin red/yellow agenda going on (@ashedddaisy please see this)

genuine question tho, whose boxing gloves are those???

i see weve got tiwpor's pink and blue already very present

seeing phat without glasses is very strange

okay, i think im good, im done appreciating this one frame. time to move on and continue with the actual episode

GUYS I LOVE TIW SO MUCH

IGERIGDBJERB I DIDNT PROCESS THAT

WE USED TO GET WIN/YO FRIENDSHIP

BUT NOW ITS SOUND/PHAT FRIENDSHIP

GEIHRKBGRUEJKBGKRE

i freaking love sound so much

HELL YES, THE DRAMATIC MUSIC AND THE STARTING INTO THE DISTANCE AND THE FIST IN THE AIR AND THE DRAMATIC STATEMENT, I LOVE WHEN THIS HAPPENS AND TINN DOING IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

GIMMMM

pls this was so funny for some reason

ratchanee. thats so strange to me. is she not just gim.

"keep it down! her son is staring at you!" yeah, because he's in love with him

DAMN, FOURTH REALLY PERFECTED THE 'staring at your crush but you really just look like a serial killer' LOOK

GIUESBG THESE LINES BUT CHANGED FOR TINN IM DYING

"his skin is fairer. hes even taller than me now. he still has that pair of bunny teeth. but he's a lot cuter!" FOURTH'S VOICE IN THIS HRBGHRBG

PORGUN FRIENDSHIP PORGUN FRIENDSHIP PORGUN FRIENDSHIP (ft sounds face in the foreground bc i had to)

PLS THIS IS SO FUNNY

I GASPED

THEY SPED THROUGH THAT QUICKLY

ALSO A FEW THINGS TO MENTION ALREADY:

1. why he look so depressed. you need a hug winny pooh?

2. hes wearing the exact shade of purple that sound often wears. so thats pretty interesting.

PLS I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH

mark, i-

HELL YEAH HES FAMOUS AS WINNIE THE POOH, A BASSIST

HELL YES

also i love yo at the bottom there, desperately clinging to the wall

HE'S CROSS-EYED, WHY IS HE CROSSEYED IN THIS SHOT

IT GOT WORSE

"huh? why me?" "the chemistry between you two is just right" HELP

this one image brings so much more dopamine to my soul than i can possibly express

GBERKHJBGREBLBERIEKGJRBGJSG

THE SLAM AGAINST A WALL but not in a sexy way BUT REVERSED HELL YES I LOVE THEM

MY RIVALS TO LOVERS BOIIIIISSSS

I LOVE THEM

IM GONNA GO FERAL

because we need a 12 episode plot to progress in 2 episodes, sound

THE ROAR

TINN'S LITTLE ROAR

EGHRKDBJ

ah shoot i ran out of images again (this has to stop happening)

ill make a second post and then post both (or possibly all, i may need more than two for this lol) at the same time

[teasinterests]

Ok yk what Tatsumi rambles lets go.. this is gonna be a long one so buckle up & enjoy the ride..

‼️ CW: Mentions of abuse, religious trauma, physical violence, mentions of physical disability & eating disorders ‼️

Anyways Tatsumi??? Slaps this guys head.. this bad boy can fit so much trauma ❤️ can we just start off with the random fact that his parents kept him in a bedroom with blood stains all over it?? And that he considers sleeping outside better than his own room??? 😭 I also just wanna remind everyone that Eichi compares Tatsumi’s family as a “force to not be reckoned with” these mfs are batshit insane…

BUT ANYWAY!! I love Tatsumi’s development after what happened during Reimei. His parents fucking sent him there to spread the word of Jesus & Religion but Tatsumi doesnt want that, he was raised to fear people, he was raised to stay confined and brainwashed by religious shit and be worshipped by their following. Tatsumi literally wants nothing more than to be loved. It’s his whole motivation, he would do anything for love, he would do anything for the people that he loves himself. He still says shit like this in the current story, where as he says he’ll sacrifice himself, or makes comparisons to dying in order to protect everyone in Alkaloid. Lets not fucking forget that one time he threw himself at Hiiros phone bc he thought it was a bomb??? LMAOO?? 😭 Tatsumi’s whole thing at Reimei was because he wanted to do something good, he wanted a legacy to be left behind, and for people to “love” him for who he is and the things he’s done for others. He worked himself constantly, and even mentions how he hardly ate. Tatsumi still struggles with natural eating habits because of this. There were people at Reimei who would get mad at Tatsumi if something didnt go their way, and Tatsumi wanted to help everyone. His life was constantly being threatened, and yet he still trusted everyone so blindly. It genuinely makes me so fucking sad bc he’s such a sweetheart and was torn to shreds because of it, which Himeru comments on in the main story. Fucking kudos to him btw for acknowledging that.

Why is this gap so fucking big Tumblr layout..??

Anyways.. Tatsumi ended up being hospitalized due to his mentality, and physical condition. He wasn’t sleeping, nor eating, honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t showering..? Though I feel like thats a heavy stretch. Nonetheless Tatsumi pushed past his breaking point and ended up collapsing. He would have done so on his own most likely, but Ibara helped speed up the process to get Tatsumi out of the school system. Unfortunately for Ibara, Tatsumi ended up returning, and because of Kaname claiming all of Tatsumi’s work and regaining his power, he was able to bring Tatsumi back into the spotlight instantly. Though for their unit Kaname claims that “Tatsumi needs someone to take care of him” which I absolutely adore btw. Tatsumi was concerned for by others, but Kaname was the only one that truly pushed it. Not to mention that Kaname was Tatsumi’s very first real friend.

Now check this.. Kaname being hospitalized in a coma for getting attacked by the schools students. Tatsumi tried to save Kaname, and was pushed off stage, and beaten on the ground by a second group. Tatsumi stated whilst he was hospitalized this second round that he cried, and practically begged God asking why this would happen? He did nothing wrong, Kaname did nothing wrong? And yet they were broken beyond repair for wanting a better life, a better school system.

Tatsumi believes “HiMERU or Oremeru” to be Kaname.. Tatsumi adores Himeru, and his feelings for Himeru/Kaname has not left despite the way Himeru treats him. Tatsumi says he deserves to be treated the way he does for what he did to cause Kaname/Himeru so much pain. Tatsumi, who used to be hella agile and swift, can hardly stand for so long, and struggles running around because of his disability. Although his chronic leg pain IS a mental condition. It’s a form of PTSD actually if I recall correctly… though as a disabled person myself, I actually prefer to headcanon that during his depressive state, Tatsumi simply just gave up. His spirit & faith were broken, and life just didn’t turn out the way he wanted it to be. He became a martyr. The very thing he feared the most in life. Without attending his proper therapy, his leg simply just didn’t heal correctly as it should have, and he recognizes this as punishment for what happened during his time at Reimei. He tells Himeru that hes happy for him, and that seeing Himeru on stage is absolutely the best feeling to him. Tatsumi fucking loves Himeru, and that wont change. Because he THINKS Himeru is Kaname. But, Kaname is still in the hospital, unbeknownst to Tatsumi.

As for Tatsumis development.. he exercises, he takes care of himself, he’s able to work solo, and has a unit that looks after him, and notices the self destructive signs that he frequently shows. I fucking love Alkaloid as a whole, but holy hell, does Tatsumi absolutely deserve them as a unit. He even acknowledges harmful things that he USED to do but doesn’t anymore, such as pushing himself past his limit, or being overly trusting of other people. Though he still has this tendency.. Tatsumi is genuinely just a very loving person, he’s silly, and touchy, and kinda lacks common sense at times which is so goofy? I absolutely love the times where you can tell that he’s behaving childishly because he never did that when he was younger. Tatsumi is truly living a happier life, and is even repeating the year of schooling that he missed after such a long hiatus.. I absolutely adore him, pls love Tatsumi Kazehaya. 😭 …pic at the end cus this mf is gay & HIMERUS REACTION KILLS ME 😭 😭

[undeadhorse]

next time i go to sleep i hope i wake up as a tiny sapient ungulate.

i remember seeing some of the TSU art six months ago and being like, vaguely creeped out by the faces. but since then ive fallen down a personal rabbithole of studying horse anatomy and working hard on my art, and also tangling my gender identity up with my deep seated loving fixation on mlpfim. now all i can see is like, beautiful little horses that are almost perfectly what i have been trying to construct in my head as like, what a my little pony would look like irl. bc if you know anything about the show you know that just having them be irl ponies wouldnt work. these horses can play instruments, you cant do that with normal hooves.

ugh. im not sure what to do. the like, feeling inside of wanting to be a my little pony is like, almost too much sometimes. its like the same feeling as being closeted and trans again. but i cant actually like, transmogrify into a mlp or a tsu. i need to like, chill. before this turns into some kind of body dysmorphia or something. idk maybe thats not gonna happen. i just worry. i dont want to start looking in the mirror at the body i have and hating it like i did when i was a teenager. bc i cant turn into a horse. as much as i want to, as much as i can like, style myself subtly to be horsier. i cant be a horse. and i dont want to set myself up for pain by leaning too hard on this to cope. and giving myself body dysmorphia or something similar. its okay that im human.

its so complicated to be told my whole life im not welcome in any group. and then as an adult lose a lot of my connection to the trans and queer communities thru trauma and like, accidental feedback from my peers telling me again that im not welcome bc im disabled and have trauma. or bc im not comfortable with words like f****y. i have been told over and over again that im not welcome by so much of society that im like. i dont feel like im human. i feel like im a monster. not in a horrible i hate myself way. just like. if humans keep telling me im not welcome then maybe ill embrace it and be a monster, and thats something thats been bubbling in me for years and years.

but now this mlp thing. ive rediscovered mlp. it has filled a hole in me. it has buoyed me and become my muse and allowed me to start the process of reclaiming my life and building things for myself. its this font of great things for me. but im worried im leaning too much on it to cope with the new stresses in my life.

im hurting and overwhelmed and that is turning into an intense yearning to be a my little pony in equestria. so bad some days it actually hurts. which makes me think maybe the coping mechanism is breaking down and i need to re-evaluate things.

[lemmymade]

hello. my shooting stars fic plan was kind of vague but longer than what i would probably handle. i wanted to write it, i still do, but i dont know when i will, or if ill ever go back to it. like i WANT to, but idk if itll actually happen.

for at least the first part of the series (bc there were at least two parts in my head),, it was just. set primarily in the superstar daycare. just meant to build up relationships. maybe the reason why i struggled trying to write is that i built it up too fast? i struggled with the timing too, because i didnt want to write each chapter as like chapter one, day one type of thing but i couldnt figure out how to Change that because it felt like the first days needed to be fully written out???

the general idea with it is that the daycare attendent is Very Much avoiding parts & services. and the reader was hired unknowingly to gain the trust of the dca and to bring them Down there. bc the dca can look scary and most adults find them very unnerving and a lot of one time attendance kids got scared of moon specifically during nap time. moon was viewed to be a problem, they both were, but moon was the Big Problem. reader was not hired as an actual assistant but thats the job they were given instead.

i inserted my oc nem into this but he was mostly made for the role i think? i developed him more specifically for the story and got attached to him so hes just my lil guy now. nem is technically the readers supervisor and has Not and does not plan to tell reader the intended plan bc nem thinks the plan is fucking stupid. for Some Reason, the daycare attendent avoids parts and services. for some reason, the dca is afraid of that place and refuses to go there and actively hates every person who works in there.

nem not telling the reader the intial plan could be seen as manipulative but nem doesnt care. nem cares a lot about robots and cares specifically about their sentience and how to cater to them. nem does not know why the dca hates parts and services and he wants to figure out why because none of his snooping has produced any answers and the dca wont trust nem because nem is a parts and services worker. nem has set reader up as the dca's assistant for reader to specifically get close to the dca and figure out whats wrong (kind of like the original plan but a bit different?)

the reader again is completely unaware of this. reader only knows that the dca just really hates nem for some reason. reader is just there to work and just generally earn a living and probably hang out with sun and moon during the process. the only strained moments between reader & sun/moon is only when nem is around for the scheduled 'supervisor' moments.

most of the daycare is poorly planned out, especially the time table and schedule. the reader, throughout the story, was planned to actually improve the daycare somewhat. like for example: nap time being in near pitch-black darkness and zero options for anything other than sleeping. moon /has/ to have all the children sleeping no matter what. most regular daycare kids will just pretend to sleep if they cant and thats generally fine but moon, for some reason, hyperfocuses on anyone who is up and awake. mingzhu, daily daycare kid bc her guardian works at the plex, likes running around during naptime because its the only time she gets to play with moon.

so reader will eventually figure out a way to have specific moon moments during the day outside of naptime so any kids who like moon get to actually hang out with him. and reader will eventually get the dca comfortable enough for nem to help with their coding and programming (not in parts and services, probably just in the daycare) so moon isnt forced to hyperfocus on the awake children which might allow some to skip naptime because some older kids dont generally need them!

reader was meant to act like a bridge in a way, a compromise. they help out and they fix things and generally try to improve things. but it doesnt change the fact that theyre still not supposed to be the dca assistant and it doesnt change the fact that theyre not registered as the dca assistant. it doesnt change the fact that the initial plan by the higher ups was for reader to gain trust and force the dca to parts and services.

it was supposed to be a source of conflict, a point of contention, the dca finding out their initial role and feeling confused and betrayed and everything. something of a miscommunication. because reader wasnt aware of this plan at all and wasn't going to follow it anyways. and perhaps the anger and betrayal falls to nem instead because thats their supervisor. nem wasnt following the plan but neither the reader or the dca was aware of that.

this specific plot point kept changing in my head because i couldnt fully decide on how it goes. the dca is stubborn so they could persist in avoidance due to their feelings of anger and betrayal if they really wanted to. would they eventually believe that the reader wasnt aware of this plan to force them to go to place they hate? probably. i hadnt figured out how long they wouldve been stubborn tho. i kind of hate miscommunication plots at times so i think thats why i struggled with it but i enjoyed how everything else went so much that i just stuck with the miscommunication plot

i think the anger probably wouldve changed from the reader to nem at some point because its always easier for the dca to just. blame parts and services again. reader and dca trying to rekindle their close friendship/relationship, idk, and struggling with trusting nem in general because despite intentions, nem lied and manipulated certain events. he did it to try and help the dca but it still happened and it doesnt change the feelings of betrayal.

but nem is still the only one the dca even remotely, slightly, trusts who has the knowledge to help them. so they would eventually, very reluctantly, let nem back into the acquaintance circle.

this story was meant to be like. pre-security breach game. and for the dca to allow nem to help (with the reader being assigned to watch over and make sure nem isnt doing anything bad even tho theyre not knowledgeable about robot stuff. idk. the dca makes them watch over it to make them feel better) means that they dont get really... affected at all, by what happens that night.

because if the daycare attendent wont go to parts and services to be updated and such on the main servers then. nem will simply put the dca on his custom servers. because nem really doesnt give a fuck about the company and had basically tricked a contract with them completely in his own favour

i made nem cool and badass in his own way because i wouldnt be able to do stuff like that so i couldn't really imagine the reader chara doing it. so i made a character to be knowledgeable and cool and stuff even though nem is also a very sleep deprived robot nerd.

i had a lot of vibes for the story and that was basically it. i have trouble with pacing and timing and so i struggle with even trying to figure out the plot for the next chapters so i end up just avoiding it. there were silly filler ideas for some chapters focused on the regular daycare kids and maybe some of the parents that were chill. i had ideas for nem and his lil robot raccoon son that i felt a bit weird about wanting to add mostly bc how people see ocs

the first story was meant to end just before the events of security breach happens. mostly bc reader wouldnt really be involved in it and then the second part would be dealing with the aftermath.

i dont know why i typed this out because i dont know if anyone really cares too much about that fic and where it was intially planned to go. its been a very long time since i posted about it, a very long time since i last updated it. idk. but here was what was intially planned ig? because i dont know when ill get back to it, if i ever do.

[orcelito]

I wanted to post a sneak peek of one of my fav parts of the new chapter but then I realized it would probably be better experienced in context so u guys don't get sneak peek actually

[nikrangdan]

lovestruck!enhypen x reader

pairing: lovestruck!enhypen x reader

genre: FLUFF fluff Fluff

description: how enhypen would be if they became lovestruck by the reader ☹️☹️ this is such an adorable request!!!! itll vary for each member ur relationships so you’ll either be strangers or already dating etc.

a/n: idk if all of them are lovestruck exactly bc i just got carried away with the fluff for some of them and idky maknae line revolves around sleeping BUT IDC sleepy!enhypen is the best 😁

———————

HEESEUNG

u worked at a pretty popular clothing store

and well well well heeseung had shown up dressed very much your style so u were like

Wow who is this guy....

he was alone just looking around

and there were like 10 other people in the store but u wanted to talk to him so bad so u went up like

“hi, welcome! are u finding everything okay?”

he was looking through a rack of shirts and turned around when he heard u but WOW

when this man turned around he looked even better in person u couldnt believe it 😫

BUT IT SEEMS HE FELT THE SAME BC U SWEAR HE BECAME SO FLUSTERED WHEN HE TURNED AROUND

his eyes got so wide u almost laughed it was so cute ☹️

he stuttered and was like “oh um im okay”

Aw man

but u said “okay then! let me know if you need any help finding anything or if u wanna use a dressing room!” and u sent him ur nicest smile u could give

his eyes were still kinda wide open and u gave him one last look before turning around😢😢

BUT THEN HE SAID SOMETHING

“w-wait! actually.. um....uh.. do u.. do u guys have sweatpants..?”

u giggled to urself on the inside bc u knew he just made that up on the spot

“we do! here, follow me”

while u were showing him the clothes u guys had exchanged names and had some small talk

and that was the start of something very Beautiful

and since then he has been coming almost everyday to visit u at work 🤗🤗

JAY

jay swore he found new things about u to love every single day

and today wasnt an exception!!!!

u knew jay had been really tired and just worn out from work recently so u had decided to make him his favorite meal for dinner

a nice little surprise for when he got home ❤️

and also the anime he was watching ready on the tv for u two to watch together :(

u had literally been preparing all day and u even decided to go out and buy dessert too

AWESOMEST PERSON EVER U ARE!

it was 8pm already and jay should be getting home now

u set the table all neatly and put on one of his sweaters

AND WOULD U LOOK AT THAT HE GOT HOME AS SOON AS U WERE DONE

Fate 🔥🔥

romantic stuff like this wasnt really ur forte so this was out of the normal for u

but u wanted to do something for jay because he did stuff like this for u alot

the table isnt in view when u walk into the apartment so he wasnt able to see his dinner yet

“hi” you smile brightly and go up to hug him and give him a little kiss

he had his bad slung over one of his shoulders and he was taking his shoes off in the doorway after he closed it

“hey.. it smells pretty good in here” he gave you a tired smile while one of his arms was wrapped around your waist

“really? it smells normal to me” you giggled before walking to the kitchen area together

he stopped and looked at u with LITERAL HEARTS IN HIS EYES when he saw the table

jay: ❤️_❤️

“y/n..”

“surprise!!! you know im not good with words but i wanted to show you that i can cook” you laugh “and that i love you very much and im so proud of you”

jay doesnt say anything but instead drops his bag on the couch and gives u the Biggest Hug Ever

ur face is practically smushed in his chest and his hand is resting lovingly on ur hair :(((

he loves u so much im so sad

JAKE

“layla!!! layla where are you?” jake was yelling quite loudly in the massive park he was in the middle of

yeah jake lost layla.. uh oh

quite a coincidence you found the cutest dog you’d ever laid eyes on

and she seemed to love u very much

the dog had made u topple over and now she was excitedly playing with you while you were sat on the ground laughing to your hearts content

after a minute of playing you had got up because you knew she was somebodys lost dog and her owner was probably looking all over the park for her

“okay.. lets go find your owner before they have a heart attack” you giggle

just as you said that though, you heard a boys voice yell “LAYLA!!!!”

the dog next to you looked in his direction, tail wagging and tongue out, but she didnt move an inch from her spot next to you

it made me you laugh out loud

as you were watching the boy run up to you, you noticed how cute he actually was

Omg..... ur heart started beating a little faster

“hi..” the boy hunched over with his hands on his knees breathing very heavily “you have my dog”

“uh yeah” you laugh “sorry about that, she ran over to me a couple minutes ago and i was just about to go find her owner”

“its okay, thank you..” he trailed off to find out your name and finally looked up to meet your eyes

“y/n” you told him

“y/n” he repeated with a small grin on his face “im jake”

“hi jake” you lightheartedly give him your hand to shake and he chuckles before taking the offer

“and it was nice meeting you layla” you crouch down to meet her level and she licks your face making you fall on your butt

you laugh and jakes quick to help you up

“layla! thats not very nice” he jokingly scolds her and pets her head

after u got up u bid goodbye to the two before jake invited u to continue walking around the park AND HE EVEN BOUGHT U AN ICE CREAM

Is This A Date, Jake? 😫😫❤️❤️❤️❤️😳😛😛

SUNGHOON

“you should be more careful” you scold the boy sitting with you standing between his legs

sunghoon had apparently gotten elbowed in the face by his friend and scratched by his friends cat on accident????

“it wasn’t my fault! he turned around and i just happened to be in the way. and i didnt even do anything to the cat!” he whined

“i didnt say it was your fault. i said to be more careful.” you tried to sound stern

u knew ur logic was making no sense but u just thought it was so fun to mess with him

he let out a sigh and gave up, slouching over again

you were stood between his legs, wiping the blood away and applying ointment

“im just kidding, you’re so cute” one of your free hands comes up to rub his hair

a small grin pops up on his face and his arms come to rest on your waist

he looks up at you while you focus on tending to his wounds

and u guessed it WITH LITERAL HEARTS IN HIS EYES

❤️_❤️

“you know y/n” he begins

you hum in response, letting him know you’re listening

“im gonna marry you one day”

you freeze in your place

it took you a minute to collect yourself because you felt like your heart almost leaped out of your chest

“who says?” you joke

he leans up to give you a quick kiss on the lips before sitting back down

“me.”

SUNOO

you noticed sunoo had been really tired lately and u just wanted to make him feel better :((

the boys were going out and invited you two obviously but you could tell sunoo was iffy about going

“uhh..” you trail off and look over at sunoo who was laying on the couch

“you know what guys? i think me and sunoo are gonna stay home today.. you guys have fun though!” you bid goodbye to the other boys and they all understood and left

you dont even know if sunoo knew they had left already because when you walked over to him his tired eyes were glued on the tv

“hey” you leaned against the couch and looked down at him

“y/n? are we going soon?” his eyes move to the top of his head to look up at you

you start laughing and he literally goes 🤨???

“silly, they already left! so what do you wanna do?” you plop down next to him and he was in the process of sitting up

“what? when did they leave...” his mouth drops open

“like 2 minutes ago” you giggle, leaning back to rest your head

sunoo had sat still, pondering for a moment

“why did they leave us?” he turned to look at you

your eyes met his “well i figured you didnt wanna go... you didnt, right?”

he slowly shakes his head “how did you know?”

you give him a sneaky smile and jokingly push his arm “because i know you so well”

he laughs at this and leans his head on your shoulder

“wow y/n.. im impressed” he grins, snuggling into your arm

your other arm crosses over to pat him on the head, leaning your head to rest on top of his

“but thank you y/n..” his eyes slowly close to rest “im thankful for all the little things you notice about me”

u literally go 🥺

your hand goes down to squeeze his and he falls asleep peacefully on ur shoulder ☹️☹️☹️❤️

JUNGWON

“y/n..what is that” jungwons eyes can barely open as he tries to comprehend whats going on while hes waking up

you haphazardly tap around the bedside table trying to turn off the new alarm you set last night

and that new alarm was jungwon singing 🤗

“its you, dummy” your eyes were still closed but you turned to face jungwon and snuggled closer to him

“wha- where did you even get that???” he was almost fully awake now, staring down at your half asleep figure

you yawned before answering in your i-just-woke-up-and-i-should-probably-drink-some-water voice “remember when you sang me to sleep last week? yeah i was secretly recording you. no biggie” you pat his chest twice and leave your hand there, content with life at the moment Lol

“y/nnnn” he whines “change ittt i dont like it”

“you’re kidding.” you deadpan, shocked he would say such a thing!!! “jungwon you sound like an angel threw up on a field of flowers full of puppies and kittens! okay thats kinda weird maybe not that”

jungwon giggles a little and sits up so he can sit against the headboard while your head rests on his lap

“you like my singing that much?” you can hear the smile in his voice as he asks you

you finally pop one eye open to look up at him, a goofy grin in your face

“i love your singing”

his hands run through your hair and you let out a sigh at the feeling

jungwon doesnt say anything

all he does is admire you

you can feel his eyes on you so you open your eyes again (both this time🙏🏼) and meet his eyes

“i can feel you staring straight into the depths of my soul, jungwon”

he laughs at this, bring his other hand up to pinch your cheek

“i’ll sing for you whenever you want me to y/n”

NI-KI

“shut up sunghoon, hes sleeping” you whisper-scolded the boy

ni-ki was currently asleep on you

literally SPRAWLED all over your body and you were basically mummified

by nishimura riki

his legs were tangled in yours, his head shoved into your neck, and his arms were bent around you in ways you didnt know were humanly possible

“you literally have an alien taking a nap on you y/n” sunghoon deadpans before walking out the room

“when you’re asleep sunghoon i will send you into a spacecraft for the rest of your life so you can go see aliens for yourself”

“wowww im so scared y/n” the boy remarks and shuts the door

you half laugh and half scoff before turning your attention back to the ipad screen sitting on the bed infront of you

well

kind of infront of you because ni-ki’s acrobatic position was basically blocking the view

you were having a decent time watching the show playing, definitely not the most comfortable person on the planet at the moment

until you felt the body on top of you.. rumble?

you knew that feeling

ni-ki was laughing

HOW and WHY the hell was he laughing ?!!?!!?!

“what the hell?” you look down at him and his face is shoved near your shoulder but you caught a glimpse of his big smile

his laughter gets louder and you still dont have answers yet

“why are you laughing???? i thought you were sleeping?????” you try to push him off you but he was persistent in laughing in your shoulder (??)

after a couple minutes of you just letting this happen

ni-ki finally speaks!

“you’re so funny y/n” he finally pulls away from you and wipes his tears

“what are you even talking about... and how long were you awake, you sneaky kid” you poke his chest

he leans down again to hug your waist and start cuddling you again

“10 minutes”

“so you’re telling me i could’ve freed myself from that god awful demon EMBRACE you had me in 10 minutes ago???!!”

ni-ki starts laughing again and looks up at you

“thank you for threatening to send sunghoon to aliens for me y/n” he grins

you laugh, finally understanding what the boy had been going on about

“sunghoon deserved it”