#bc i actually care about her opinion
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🤡.
#i think i might tell me my bestfriend that i'm bi tonight but idek why i'm so hesitant 🚶🏻♀️#like she is literally bi herself#but we're move in together in some months#and i kinda wanna clarify#but this is sm i have told other ppl before#but not my bestie??#idek why i'm so fucking nervous about tjis#i know she won't give a shit#it's almost like if i do tell her it becomes real ya know#why is it so hard#i don't feel like i can actually be myself and do what i want#so i just shut down and isolate and sometimes tell random ppl#but not her#bc that's too realistic?#idek#i'm already drunk and she hasn't even arrived yet#i guess i'm procrastenating it bc i don't wanna face it yet#bc i actually care about her opinion#tho i know she won't care#and no i have no feelings towards her i'm 100% sure#it's just the heteronormality and fear of being myself#i might chicken out again#idek if she suspects#sigh#i'm so scared to be myself it's ridiculous
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thinking about. i dont know how to phrase this really but. chloe and frank.
like. when Chloe killed Frank i (, personally,) feel like her guilt from it was less because she killed Frank, and More because she Killed Someone (and their dog).
but!!! thats not to say she didnt feel guilty for killing Frank. because she definitely did. because on some level. despite everything. despite all of his shitty behavior. a part of her still cared for him. that tiny 15-17ish year old part in her still cared for him.
because that 15-17ish year old with intense abandonment issues in her only had. a small handful of people in her life that actually cared for her, and when THOSE few people aren’t even doing the best job at it— it’s no shit that Chloe’s standards for Good Friends are going to be Immensely dropped.
and so. it’s kind of like what happened with Rachel, but WAY less intense. when she found someone who didn’t hate her, and was willing to hang around her—after so so long of people hating her and not wanting to be around her— it makes sense that part of her would kinda latch onto them a little bit.
and so, even after all of the shit she’s learned he did— even when Frank starts to hate her— even when he threatens Max and her’s lives— part of her keeps remembering him as one of the few guys who stuck around when no one else did.
it’s just that. no matter how bad the person— if you’ve known someone for years, and they were one of the only nice people to you in a town where theres like. four people that are nice to you— it’s gonna hurt if you kill them. even if it was self defense. even if it was entirely their own fault— even if you two aren’t on even remotely good terms anymore.
ESPECIALLY for such a sentimental person like Chloe. taking that in consideration it makes me wonder. maybe she didn’t feel bad for killing Frank. maybe she felt bad for killing the person Frank used to be to her. but maybe she realized that That Frank already died long ago.
but yeah. im mentally ill. take everything i said with a grain of salt considering it is 12:07 AM.
#my thoughts are a mixture of coherentness but also just enough of radio static that i cant write much of it out Correctly#but anyways dont you think it’s a little fucked that.#and maybe im reading it wrong but#like.#she really wanted to be friends with him in bts#she was really put that position#god idk#feel free to discuss about the whole. “chloe felt bad for killing Somebody not just frank” thing. that’s not something im 100% set in stone#with LOL. im open to other interpretations of it#that isnt to say the rest of this isnt open to discussion— but that part In Particular is#this post is mostly about how “frank was chloes friend” more than anything#it’s about how. out of the entire town. the shitty drug dealer is one of the guys who gives an actual shit about her#and about how. something happened in between BTS and LIS to make them hate eachother#like YES the 5000 dollar debt but that just CANT be it can it? was it rachel’s disappearance that destroyed them?#or did frank start declining after the whole dameon thing??? WHAT CHANGED THEM…..#anyways im sure im not the first to think of this and im ready to hear other peoples opinions on it#SCREAMING AND CRYING BC CHLOE IS LITERALLY SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER BUT PEOPLE ARE TOO MISOGYNISTIC TO SEE IT RAHGDHSGSHGA#if i had a nickel for every time i said “even” “despite” or “because” in this post i’d be rich#life is strange is a game about tragedy. and. misogyny.#ALSO TAKE IN CONSIDERATION. if u read this far.#that chloe likely met frank Before she was Really Truly convinced that there was zero hope for her to find somebody who cared for her#so it took a lot less effort for someone like frank to leave an imprint on chloe atp of her life.#and also partly why it was So Much More intense with rachel#hoping to god this is coherent#lis#life is strange#chloe price#frank bowers#rachel amber#…. i really doubt it will happen
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I can’t even lie over time this pathetic little elf has grown on me and now I really like her as a character. she’s SUCH a loser. and someone said that she should’ve been recruitable instead of Halsin after uncovering the Shadow Druid plot and she could’ve had a redemption arc and now I can’t stop thinking about that alternate reality
#i have no idea if it’s a controversial opinion to like Kagha or not but#like imagine if she was sent away from the Grove. not banished but temporarily sent away to think about her actions#Halsin says she can return to the circle after she’s rediscovered the oak father’s teachings etc etc#so she can join up with you in act 1 and you get a druid then and not 2 in act 2 randomly#maybe she travels with you to find redemption. you were the one who pulled her from the brink so she thinks travelling with you#will help her do some good in this world#she can have a tense reunion with the tieflings in act 2 and she apologises. some forgive her. others don’t as is their right#and she tries so hard to redeem herself but she learns that sometimes people are still hurt by your deeds and they might not forgive you#I think it’s talking to Arabella that actually gives her growth#maybe it’s Kagha who’s involved in Arabella’s powers and her learning to tame them. Arabella who has reason of all to hate her#and it takes a while and some conversation and working together but I think Arabella forgives Kagha#she doesn’t have to and Kagha never expected forgiveness from her but she DOES and that’s what gets Kagha the most#she has a big introspective act 2 moment in the middle of the Shadow Curse#regardless she is first to suggest rescuing the tieflings from moonrise. not because she wants forgiveness but because it’s right#(to show her character growth and learning to care about the refugees)#and then her quest could tie into the Shadow Curse. she wants to do better and help people#and eventually the other tieflings start to come round to her. once she’s proved she’s actively bettering herself#the kids find her funny and Mattis definitely thinks she’s a loser and not scary or mean#like okay lady sure I forgive you whatever stop crying now#Mirkon is just a little sweetie so he forgives her as long as Arabella does and then he follows her around asking loads of questions#anyway sorry those are my thoughts I think it’d be great to have a redemption arc companion in act 1#bc Minthara is so missable if you don’t know to knock her out you just kill her#Kagha’s story would help indicate that there are hidden companions you can look out for#most of this is nonsense im so sleepy but will I stop rambling? no#also Minthara should top the hell out of this pathetic surface elf right now
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i am not anti sam but i sometimes find myself hating sam because some samgirls are super into bio/gender essentialism whether or not they realize it. sam is a woman and dean is a man and sam is the victim and dean is his abuser like what show are you watching?
#as much as we all like to have fun these are two cis men characters who have roles to play in the narrative they don’t escape#they are both being abused. we find this out *fully* in s14#but it’s always been present. this is the abuse sam and dean winchester show#but some of y’all don’t actually understand abuse! you think abuse is just being mean and yelling#‘sam is a woman because his autonomy is taken away’ your idea of womanhood is fucked up and you should unpack that#if you compare sam to a woman because he’s been SA’d then you are WEIRD. they are both men canonically getting SAd????#like yes dean has some weird stuff about his own gender that he needs to unpack but it’s part of a mask?? like if u genuinely#believe that he seriously 100% believes this stuff then you don’t know his character at all#and yes their relationship is toxic but if you think for one second that there’s a genuine power imbalance then you’re sorely mistaken#dean’s entire identity is based around taking care of sam. sam can do wrong but not enough to be truly held accountable#it doesn’t matter what he does. dean will always protect him and be there and do whatever it takes to save him. he will always forgive him#and sam knows this and uses it to his advantage. he repeatedly goes behind dean’s back and avoids the communication he says is so important#he blames dean for shit that isn’t his fault because he’s there#and no he may not fight dean on stuff but he can. he often doesn’t because he doesn’t want to!#they enable each other and they don’t grow because they can’t because there’s always something else BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH BEING ABUSED BY GOD#they’re not allowed to take a break. they’re not allowed to slow down or stop or rethink it’s always the end of the world#so yes some of y’all annoy me with the ‘i wish dean was nicer in the midst of his trauma’#shit or saying that therapy fixes everything stuff or whatever#and the fact that so many of y’all use that to treat sam like some fragile white woman who can’t#have an opinion without her husband’s permission is WEIRD like your gender stuff is weird#and just repacked essentialism onto them. idc if you’re trans. unpack that shit cuz your meta is full#of rad fem friendly or adjacent shit if you refuse to talk about gender without using abuse as an argument#because that does not hold up in canon of these two FICTIONAL MEN!!! or in the real world#(edit: most of the stuff i see is by cis women but im saying ‘idc if ur trans’ bc it’s not exclusive to them)#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#wank adjacent#maybe just straight up#fandom wank
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"He hurts you because he loves you" classic excuse for abuse, not an interesting angle to go at a story with, boring, annoying, makes me hate anyone who says this shit. "He loves you but he still hurt you" beautiful, amazing, empowering. Love is not a pure, good, flawless emotion, actions matter more than intent, and caring for someone doesn't mean you can't or won't hurt them, and in my opinion, it makes hurting them worse.
#my dc posting#dc#batman#bruce wayne#not directly dc but i was def thinking abt this mf when writing it#like im sorry but narratives abt someone acknowledging their parent was rough/hard on them growing up bc they cared or whatever do Nothing#for me#i have NEVER ONCE seen the concept of ''tough love'' used in any context outside of trying to justify abuse.#like fuck off w the robins going ''bruce is hard on you cus he wants you to do your best'' or whatever I ACTUALLY HATE ITTT#''but he loves her'' ah yes. the most classic fucking excuse for abuse and mistreatment.#i don't care if there is love!!! i dont care if actions come from a place of care and love if the actions are fucking horrific!!!!!#like in my opinion hurting someone you love is worse than hurting someone you hate#i dont care about your intentions if you caused real harm#uegh this is a topic i feel very strongly about bc the bullshit narrative of a character#forgiving someone for hurting them bc they learn they love/care is so prevalent and has never been done in a way#that doesnt make me seethe w fucking rage!!!#gaa >:(#anyway. narratives about acknowleding they loved you and cared for you and wanted the best for you#AND STILL HURT YOU are so good to me#you can hurt someone you love. loving someone doesnt mean you wont hurt them. and love is not an excuse to hurt others.#seems like such basic 101 understanding of the world but apparently not 😒
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listen I am about as pro-abortion as anyone can be, but aborting a baby just because they have Down's Syndrome should be fucking illegal. If you're someone who actively wants and is trying for a child, then you should be mentally, financially, and emotionally willing to provide for that child for the rest of your life if something goes wrong- because that is what being a good parent takes, and many many things can go wrong. Down's Syndrome is not at all close to the worst thing that can happen to a baby, and people with it can grow up to be happy, healthy, content adults- they just need a little bit of extra help and a different approach to raising them. If you just want a 'normal' child so that you can boot them out of your house when they turn 18 and have them around to take care of you when you're older, then you don't actually want children, you want an investment. A doll, not a family member. Not a person.
#the only exception to this would be people who cannot financially provide the aid for a baby with downs syndrom#but even then the government should be giving you money for childcare anyways soooo#context for this: i am a genetics major in a genetics class studying nondisjunction (the thing that leads to down syndrome)#and boy oh boy are some of the opinions im experiencing while studying making me mad!!!!#just. idk i think the reason why i got diagnosed autistic so late was bc my mom did an incredible job accomidating me when little#bc she didn't care that i needed extra help all she cared about was that i was healthy and safe#bc i'm her child#i'm *family*#and that's what you do!! you fucking care for your family!!#(provided they aren't abusive)#this is why autism moms piss me off so much too bc they dont actually WANT children they want the popularized experience of children#they want it easy and they don't see their kids as people. they just learn that they need a little different or extra help#and then bitch about it for all eternally#maam your child isnt sick they dont need a cure they are a PERSON that is a HEALTHY HUMAN BEING WITHIN NORMAL VARIANCE VALUES#TREAT THEM LIKE ONE FOR FUCK'S SAKE
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honestly reilly being the second evicted houseguest was so good for matt's game. he never really had the danger of being involved in a showmance but he scooped up all her allies that were most loyal to her. that and the next week hisam, who was his side's most obvious next target, was backdoored by his own allies, so he had no real enemies. he did just well enough in comps to be a sought-after ally but not too well that people were clamoring to get him out, nor did he stir the pot enough socially to make himself a target. he just sat back being a pretty mediocre bb player overall but always in a good spot. as much as reilly's early exit was like the handful alliance's sad tragedy it benefited all of them.
#im rewatching the earlier episodes in the season still like i mentioned i was doing last night#bb25#text post#i remember regretting that they didnt keep reilly bc i was always anti-cameron lol#and as cameron kept avoiding eviction by these and those means i was more and more wistful like goddd what if reilly were here instead#but i honestly didn't care for that side of the house as much as i did the professors' alliance overall.#i had no strong opinion of reilly as a person or player (it was def too early for me to be attached to her) but i felt bad for her.#now that cameron's been out for awhile i dont have that wistful what-could-have-been feeling about her and im like yeah. they got her out#at the right time. sorry reilly. i actually dont really wish you lasted longer in the game#hisam's backdoor was much more regrettable. i mean i still geeeeet why they did it but THAT makes me ponder much more#i gave him a few of my afp votes even though i know he has no chance#he should've just been less intense about all his gametalk. things could've gone swimmingly for him.
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been feeling mixed on some of my friends recently
#i love them but im gonna explain#i don’t want this to boil over like the twins did#but one of my friends i feel so cast off sometimes#i get it bc shes full time adult job employed now#in healthcare no less#but im just getting fully annoyed at her lack of availability and it makes me sad#im getting even sadder actually bc she also always seems to have time to hang with her uni friends whuch hurts#like im like okay i know you have this from 6-7 so how about we meet for dinner at 7:30 bc i wanna see you casually and she says no#and i think i really need to talk to her bc it makes me sad and then i feel slapped in the face#even on nights out we always have to go home early. which my friend basically said:#i think in future if you wanna go home you can but others shouldn’t have to too#bc my other friend got so sad she was forced to come back early and i was like yea i would have liked to have sat at manly with yall#bc i feel we don’t do this any more#i honestly think it’s better to just let her figure it out and go#i don’t want me to sweep so much shit under the rug until i despise her#bc i know this isn’t her fault i just wish she would let loose or make an effort#my other situation is my childhood best friend#i love her a lot she’s amazing. but but but. sometimes i feel she can be too protective of me.#it comes from a place of knowing me for so long#and i do trust her opinions on people who i surround myself with bc she fucking hated those twins#but sometimes i feel she has been treating me differently since my neurodivergence diagnosis#even with a certain high school friend she held this dislike even when i said she was not like the twins#bc she was hanging out with the twins at the 21st#like this girl was also having her issues with the twins and was the person in the firing line of the breakup#even when i was in nl she was so worried about me and its nice to have her have my back#bc after that guy kissed me directly on the lips she suddenly became concerned about ppl taking advantage of me#and its like to me great she cares but also i did in fact learn from it#but she gets super defensive when ppl take advantage of me and i just wanna her to step back#i just feel sometimes i don’t need her feeling like she needs to protect me or that i need to hang neurodivergence up like a flag#idk its a lot. thank u for listening
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don’t get me wrong i think gija’s modern au outfits are very cute but i also think it’s incredibly funny that kusanagi wants to convince me that he’d wear nice, expensive clothes. respectfully, not if he had to do his own laundry he wouldn’t <3 he doesn’t know what care instructions are and that sweater is coming apart at the seams after two washes
#i do think his granny would buy him nice clothes. they just wouldn’t survive …..#i know in my heart of hearts that he’d dress like a 2000s skater#‘ur only saying that bc ur writing a skater au’ am i wrong though???#he doesn’t actually care about his appearance much he’s just graced with being god’s prettiest little guy#he’d wear smth comfortable and durable and easy to wash!!!!!!!!#also smth that’d make his granny go ‘how will u ever find a girlfriend if u dress like that ���’#which would have the opposite of her intended effect <3#akayona#sorry everyone i have a fever so all ur getting today is fashion opinions
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*coming back from the dead* I am so gay for Arlecchino *dies again*
#Arlecchino#Genshin impact#School has been full on#I only had 4 hours of sleep last night to work on a project (one that I’ve spent ~20 hours on)#But that was my final piece of work. I’m free now I can sleep finally#I’m going to bed rn snosnosnomimimi but I wanted to lay out my opinion on the new video#Which is that Arleccino is very cool and I will skip pretty much everyone for her#I don’t care much for the others yet except my son Freminet. If they develop the girls well then maybe I’ll like them too#I saw someone speculate that the Tea Guy was blind and if he actually is I would absolutely love him#For now I live with my Dehya prosthesis headcanons and that’s about it#Anyway I’m alive! And about to drop off bc I’m tired as all hell#(Excited for 3.8 tomorrow also :3)
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I'm glad I'm outside the TBB bubble in the Star Wars fandom again. people are welcome to enjoy it but I'm no longer in a place where new episodes affect me in any way and I rarely see anything bout them with my filtered tags so it's great
#tbb asajj is still a thing that certainly happened#actually never talked about my opinion of her and i probably won't for a pretty long time until i suddenly have thoughts#because she's boringggg#nothing unexpected nothing groundbreaking nothing interesting happened in her tbb episode#asajj is coming back with an explenation#probably in tales of the empire bc idk that's the upcoming animated show with nightsisters#but between my recent depressive episode and how uninterested i am in what happens with her#i don't really care!#rattataki asajj and pre-dathomir retcon tcw asajj are still my thing#other than that call me back when asajj is bald and appears in a comic again#it's been two weeks btw but i still feel like this#i'm not free but i am free but i am not but
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idk how to explain this but psychic gives me toxic chill male bsf vibes
#fnf psychic#friday night funkin#analysis#<- tentative tag lmao#whenever the dearests and bf are arguing he’s like ohmygodddd can we all just like…chILL#he doesn’t want to address the underlying causes of gf’s differences with her father.#he just wants things to smooth over and go back to normal bc to him that WAS the healthiest happiest time.#he’s aware that things have never really been right but he doesn’t know how to fix it when things have gotten so fragile#it’s like glass to him.#he wants a safe target for his frustration and resentment that’s been building up#so he takes it out on bf. not by actively confronting him or anything; he just quietly seethes while keeping up the facade of someone who—#—doesn’t care#he has strong opinions but only expresses them when he cares enough; when he feels like it’ll actually make a difference#which ends up being almost never BECAUSE he doesn’t bother to speak up when he could have#it’s like forced positivity but instead it’s just…forced normalcy. forced permanence.#he’s scared of things changing bc to him it can only ever get worse#psychic had nothing. thanks to dd he has everything now. and he doesn’t want to tip the scales#the uncertainty of how things will turn out must be reminiscent of hell to him. the way I see it at least#I assume he always had to anticipate death and be ready to go out fighting if he couldn’t claw his way to safety#and when dd showed up and helped him escape that changed his outward perception of the world#but deep down inside he’s still got the same mindset. it’s this or nothing. it’s the steady life he’s built with the dearests or it’s hell#and bf threatens that in a way psychic never could have foreseen bc of the way he’s grown up; the mindsets that have become facts of life#and that’s why psychic hates bf so much but he’s so Chill about it. he Doesn’t Care. and he doesn’t know this but that’s not helping#he’s gf’s toxic chill male bsf#i dunno man it’s 5 in the morning and I’ve just had sehri. im going to bed
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i just have very strong urge to either change my hair entirely, get a tattoo, or get more piercings and none of these are convenient
#i actually might just look into getting my belly button pierced.#im technically not supposed to have any jewelry on at work which i kinda ignore bc my eyebrow is still healing#BUT they cant see if i get my belly button pierced so#i want snake bites so bad though but its too obvious :((#also my mom would hate it and i actually care about her opinion just a little bit
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🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
stonewall uprising, 2010
#my HEART#why are people so cruel#i really only have ever worried about my mom when it came to me being bi#which was annoying bc she was onLY homophobic towards bisexuality#‘it’s a sex thing’ who tf even cares#sometimes it is ig#doesn’t matter lmaoo let people fucking live fr. not your business or hurting anyone#it’s not that way for me cause i finally accepted it and just decided i was never gonna tell my mom bc i was crushin on this girl so hard#like senior year actually 🤣 was in mega denial but msotly just closed towards the last year or so#closeted* anyways my mom doesn’t care and feels bad lol I came out to her to prove a point cause I knew that’s be the only way#to get her to rethink her opinion#dad was into me the whole time 🤣🤣#onto me* but mom said she wondered bc if ‘‘em and said girl I had a crush on lol she’s met her#we’re good friends but nah lol that’s a whole different story 🤣🤣🤣#it’s just sad tho#why hate on love#who tf cares#there’s so much ugly and hate in the world all we have is love#but no. we gotta deal with war and racism and homophobia and capitalism and so much fucking bs#and also unfortunately can’t give up#gotta keep goin and fight for good to win bc the world isn’t over yet#til Mother Nature kills us bc everyone litters#like#the possibilities are endless#n im a lil cross faded#feelings still valid tho 😭#listen tho when i was a lil kid i used to get caught reading my dads playboys so#i really don’t know why my mom was so shocked 🤣🤣 she just wants a grand baby i s2g#dating a man or not she keeps tellin me 💀#‘we don’t need a man’ 💀 she’s insane
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my moms disappointed in me that I told my aunt to shut up and follow my grandmas schedule cause she tried to force dessert out so she could leave earlier but what is she gonna do? ignore me? did that already for two years. look mad at me? would be like n improvement from last years Christmas where she literally didn’t look at me once let alone talk to me
#actually was kinda different I just can’t stand when I say my opinion and other people are like ‘well I just won’t say anything anymore the#:)’#she was like ‘okay you can decide everything and I wont say anything anymore:)’ and I was like ‘yeah that’s right cause this is not your#fucking house so you don’t actually get to decide everything:) shut up:)’#no one fucking likes you and your cheap ass gifts and your mediocre grocery store bought snacks#now my moms like ok next time just be quiet and go along with her to keep the peace like bitch I will literally start a feud I don’t care#I should keep the peace?? bc if there’s be a feud people would side with me over her ten times over#you really think people will side with her when I’m the one who helped set everything up and made gourmet aperos and gave my grandma#something handcrafted to thank her for hosting us while she cant barely bother to show up at her own mom twice a year at Christmas and#easter?? bc she lives a whole two hours away?? bitch when I lived three countries over I saw my grandma more than you did#your husband wasn’t even allowed out of the house for his own dads funeral you think even he’s gonna side with you?? bitch#don’t wanna sound like a snob cause I really don’t care about cheap gifts or grocery story snacks but you have to realise she and her#husband are both doctors and rich and they have a nanny for their twenty year old kids who also cooks and cleans and they live right next to#two famous people and have a vacation house in portugal and also zero friends you really tell me she can’t do better than a five euro gift#for secret Santa when the decided on amount was twenty euros?
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ALSO MORE FUEL FOR MY UNPOPULAR SPARROW OPINIONS I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL WE GET NORMAL VS THE TWINS CONFRONTATION NEXT ohhhh my god
#also ik people are saying this gives more fuel to lark being normals dad which#i love and think its fun theyre playing with more now but#i also think it would be interesting bc originally anthony said the timeline didnt line up for lark to be his dad#wouldnt it make sense then that hero was larks#especially with naybe lark having passed down the family power to her since hes been#the most connected to the doodler situation since the stabbing#IM JUST SPITBALLING HERE IM JUST THINKING OUT LOUD#processing if u will#but it would again be another way where normal has this big dramatic storyline in his head about his backstory but hes just normal#with a dad and mom who couldnt care less about him#and an uncle who cares weirdly a lot about him but he doesnt get as an actual father so theres a level of disconnect#IT MAKES IT MORE SAD OK#anyway i said this post was for unpopular opinions so sue me#its gonna be alright
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