#your husband wasn’t even allowed out of the house for his own dads funeral you think even he’s gonna side with you?? bitch

[queenangella]

my moms disappointed in me that I told my aunt to shut up and follow my grandmas schedule cause she tried to force dessert out so she could leave earlier but what is she gonna do? ignore me? did that already for two years. look mad at me? would be like n improvement from last years Christmas where she literally didn’t look at me once let alone talk to me

[juminsmysticmc]

Hii☺️So, we have RFA+Minor trio being single fathers after Mc's death, what about reversing it?So that Mc is a single mother after they died(

I waited really long to finally make a request and I am very excited right now, especially since it's you.I really love your writings and I read all of them for like a dozen of times and I can't get enough of them😍Thank you so much for your work and stay healthy 🙏🏻

Mc being a single mom after the RFA + Minor Trio died    ( Trigger Warnings! ) 

Trigger Warnings, mention of death, parental death

RFA + Minor Trio as single fathers after Mc’s death (Parental death/ Trigger Warnings)

Did I mention that I like drama? Enjoy! 

Jumin

You pressed your lips together as tears went down your cheek. The baby you just gave birth to was sleeping in Jaehee‘s arms as you sobbed into Zen‘s embrace.

,,It‘s as if he planned everything,“ you sobbed, making your red haired friend shake with his head.

,,When he found out you were pregnant, he made me do all this. He didn’t plan to die a month after the birth of your baby, really, he just feared that if something happened to him, his father would have acted the way he did,“ Seven explained.

The reason why you were currently staying over at Jaehee‘s place was that Jumin died a week ago. One day you let him go out of the front door, still smiling as he kissed your newborn, and not even half an hour later, you found yourself in the hospital.

Someone shot him.

And as if it wasn’t enough, your father in law tried to take away your baby, saying that he had to give his grandchild a better life.

But Jumin, even in heaven, saved you once again, saving a lot of money and having an external saving method thanks to Seven.

He even left behind a letter to his father filled with lies, explaining that the baby wasn’t his child.

Of course everything was a lie, but this lie made it possible for you to see your baby grow up.

,,I can’t even go to my husband’s-” your words died in tears.

,,He will always look over you, Mc, and we’ll help you. It will all be better soon…“ Zen patted your back. He too was mourning for his friend.

Zen

,,Mommy, do I really look like daddy?“ your youngest girl asked you as she brushed her long white hair.

You gulped as you looked over to your oldest daughter.

Her eyes were again filled with tears.

Zen died two years ago, leaving you behind with three wonderful children.

You had to give up your job as manager and instead began to work part time in a restaurant at night and other little jobs while the girls were at school.

,,Daddy… I don‘t even remember him,“ your middle child hissed as she entered the room.

,,I don’t even know him, that’s worse!“ your youngest began to sob.

She indeed looked like Zen. He would have been proud to see her beauty.

Well, he was proud of every daughter he had. He loved them with all his heart.

,,Trust me, I would rather not remember him than live with memories,“ your oldest daughter Mina hissed as she put down her lipstick and rushed out.

You sighed as you looked at your little family.

You were all sleeping in one single room. No one had their own space and instead they all argued with each other whenever they had the chance.

,,You’re always so negative, MINA!“ your middle child Hana hissed, followed by the youngest, Sera.

,,I HATE YOU GUYS! HE DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!“ she screamed, making your heart stop.

Mina glared at her and fell on her feet as she began to scream a loud, high pitched scream.

,,SERA RYU!“ you screamed.

The house died down as only sniffles were heard.

,,Your father died when the three of you caught a virus. He was trying to go to the shop for some medicine, but that doesn’t mean that one of you is at fault, understand?“ you hissed.

You sat down and began to cry yourself as you called them over into your arms, ready to embrace your crying children.

,,No one is at fault. Please, please don’t fight, girls, your father would be devastated to see that,“ you begged.

,,Sera, you do look like dad,“ Mina sobbed and smiled, making your youngest smile brightly.

Yoosung

Your son finally fell asleep after a long crying session.

Nothing hurt you more than consoling your son who was in deep pain because he got bullied at school for not having a father.

Yoosung died six months ago, making you move into a tinier apartment which led to your son attending another school.

However, you regretted every single decision.

You pulled your phone out as you tried to dry your salty tears.

You entered a new chatroom as you asked for help.

,,What happened? Shall I come over?“ Jumin responded, being the first one online.

,,I can come quicker, I‘m omw,“ Zen shortly afterwards responded.

,,No no, I just…

Can you please bring Jinyoung to school tomorrow? He got bullied… I think if other children see him with you guys, they will respect him more,“ you wrote.

Of course Seven jumped in and wrote six lines about how happy he would be to play ⅓ of a father, making you actually choke on your tears.

,,Thank you,“ you typed and decided to bring your son to bed.

Indeed the three boys kept their promise, making him laugh like never before.

Jaehee

,,And that‘s how we met,“ you laughed as you told your son about the meeting between you and Jaehee.

He nodded as he looked at the picture over the table.

It portrayed you, him, and Jaehee on his first day of school.

Jaehee died a year ago from an illness.

It all went so quickly. One day she got diagnosed and a few months later the two of you prepared the funeral for her.

As if it was yesterday, you remembered picking up your son and driving him to the hospital to give Jaehee the chance to see him one last time.

And indeed, it was their last goodbyes.

Jaehee would never see him finishing school, university, or begin a job, fall in love, or try to cheer him up while being lovesick.

She would never see him get married or have his first child.

It hurt your heart to know that you were the only one left for him.

On the other side, Jaehee was happy that at least he had you. ,,How did your favorite TikTok go?“ she groaned.

,,Take him to the moon for me,“ she whispered.

,,Mom was a strong woman,“ you told your son as a tear left your eye.

,,You too, Mommy, you too.“

Saeyoung 

You sighed as you turned off your alarm to get off the bed.

It was still dark outside, but you had to wake up with the last strength you had. You pulled yourself together and walked back to the kitchen where you prepared some breakfast for your child.

Like every morning, reality hit you as you silently sobbed while putting some rice into the bento box.

Your hands trembled as you looked up, just to gasp for air and keep going.

It was hard ever since Saeyoung died. Things weren’t going well for you.

You thanked God daily for the remaining person you had, that you had friends and family who supported you.

But you also begged God to make this bad life end. Even though it was selfish, you just wanted to see your family again.

Even if Jaehee often tried to make you understand how lucky you were, even at the times where Jumin promised to help you with the medical expenses, even at those times when Yoosung came over to cook dinner, and even at those times when Zen promised to go with your and your child to the park, you just wanted this to end.

You inhaled again and dried your tears as you made yourself a cup of coffee.

,,Good morning, baby,’’ you whispered as you turned on the lights of your son’s room.

,,Mo….m,’’ the boy groaned, probably in pain as you helped him get up to sit on his wheelchair.

,,Wet…’’ he gasped as you noticed that he wet his bed again.

,,It’s okay, baby, don’t worry,’’ you smiled, pushing the chair through the door, passing at the picture of Saeyoung, Saeran, and your two perfectly healthy children.

That day, Saeyoung didn’t just die in a car accident from speeding, he also took his brother and one of your children with him, leaving you with your second son disabled by the accident.

,,It’s okay,’’ you whispered.

Saeran

You looked up to the ceiling as you felt a warm, little hand on your chest.

Turning your head, you could see how relaxed the face of your daughter was as she slept safely and soundly, not worrying about anything or anyone.

You smiled as you saw how much she resembled Saeran, her father.

Your hand moved to stroke her head as you remembered the day you told him that you were pregnant, how he cared for you and his daughter in the pregnancy, how hard labor was, and how emotional it was when he once again decided to save his brother after seeing his own daughter.

,,He would be happy to see her,’’ he said after she was newly born and he was finally allowed to hold her in his embrace.

As if it was yesterday, you remembered how he taught her to walk, how he stood behind her while going to the park and how much he loved to feed her.

This all disappeared one day.

In the morning, he told you that he might have found Saeyoung and in the evening he came home, beaten up with a shotgun wound, collapsing in front of your porch.

It was your worst nightmare and you were honestly happy that this all happened at night, knowing that back then, your three year old daughter wouldn’t have seen anything.

Ever since then, life became harder.

You moved, fearing the Prime Minister or the agency Saeyoung was in would track you down and kill your daughter. The RFA kept helping you guys, but questions like, ,,Where is Dada’’ weren’t always easy to respond to.

,,Mommy,’’ she mumbled and opened her eyes, smiling brightly at you and rubbing her eyes to wake up.

,,Mhhh?’’ you asked her.

,,Daddy visited my dreams…’’ she giggled and fell asleep again, making you wander back to old memories too.

Jihyun

,,Mom, I don’t understand my homework,’’ Lucy said, whispering as she entered the room as quietly as possible.

You looked back to her and nodded as you looked back to the little bed your son was in before you walked away, your hand on Lucy’s hair as you smiled at her.

,,What topic?’’ you asked her.

You noticed that she was hesitating so it was probably art since it was related to her father.

,,Art?’’ you asked her to make it easier for her. She had a pretty hard time ever since Jihyun died, well, you too. You all had a pretty hard time.

Jumin wasn’t the same person anymore, or so Jaehee said. Yoosung seemed to regret a few things, and Saeran and Saeyoung were grieving, just like Zen.

Everyone was in pain after the painful death of that one special person.

,,Our teacher told us to draw a painful happy moment but… how am I supposed to make something happy if it’s supposed to be painful?’’ she asked you.

You nodded. ,,Well, describe something painful. What is painful?’’ you asked her.

,,Getting hurt is painful, falling is painful, getting hit is painful…’’

,,How about losing someone?’’ you asked her, making her think about it for a few seconds before she asked you if it wasn’t something sad instead of painful. 

You nodded. ,,When I told you that daddy wouldn’t come home anymore back then when you were younger, do you remember how you felt?’’ you asked her.

,,Did your heart hurt? Did you feel scared and suffocated? Wasn’t it painful?’’ you asked her and even though you could see that she was tearing up, you knew that this was something the two of you had to talk about.

Indeed, Lucy closed up about her feelings ever since then, but this was also a good opportunity.

,,Now, think of a happy moment with your father. Isn’t it something painful but a happy moment as well?’’ you asked her and got up, knowing that she knew what to do.

A week later, you were invited to see your daughter receive a prize for the most beautiful portrait of Jihyun as an angel looking down at the world, a painful and happy moment for everyone who knew him.

Vanderwood

,,Mommy,’’ your son asked you, pulling at your shirt as you stood in front of the stove.

,,Mhhh?’’ you asked him without looking as you were cooking.

,,Why did Daddy leave us?’’ he asked you out of the blue, making you stop everything and look at him.

,,The fish is burning,’’ he suddenly said as he saw the flames, making you shriek and quickly take care of everything.

After everything was taken care of, you took him in your arms and showed him a few pictures of his father.

For now, you never showed him his father. You never dared to speak about Vanderwood, fearing that your son wouldn’t understand your words, but by now you learned that he was much stronger than you ever thought.

,,This is your father, Vanderwood. He didn’t leave because he wanted to, he was kind of forced to,’’ you told him, gulping down the bad feeling you had as your heart began to beat quickly.

,,And why is he gone?’’ he asked you, softly touching the picture of a cool looking brown haired man.

This was on the day you two went to eat after you craved a salad and ice cream.

,,He had an important job to do,’’ you explained. Of course you didn’t tell him that the agency tracked him down and killed him brutally while he tried to keep you, his heavily pregnant, hidden.

,,And what is he doing now?’’ he kept asking you as you remembered the day, as if it was yesterday, when he pushed you into the closet, begging you to close your ears and never come out until called you.

However, that call never came. Instead, Saeyoung pulled you out moments later. You didn’t remember how much time passed.

You just knew that he asked you to keep your eyes closed as he led the way out of the room.

,,He is now protecting you, me, uncle Saeyoung, uncle Saeran, uncle Jumin, uncle Zen, uncle Yoosung and aunt Jaehee,’’ you answered with a smile.

How much he would have loved to meet his son, you were sure.

He was your happiness after all, the last memento of Vanderwood.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

26.07.2021// 00:13 MEST

[givemethatgold]

Fix’er Upper Pt. 1

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales x F!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of past abusive relationship

Length: 1.4k

Notes: Okay, here we go! Giving our babe Frankie an ending he deserves, with a few bumps along the way for fun. Divider by @firefly-graphics 💛

It was almost comical, you thought, at how different the realtor's listing was, compared to the real thing. You’d seen it enough times in bad Hallmark romances: city girl buys a property, property is falling apart, city girl miraculously has the funds to fix it up with the help of the perfect farmer neighbour.

This was reality though and you had already poured your life’s savings, which amounted to very little after all the surprise debts had been paid off, into this farmhouse. 

The "Quaint New England farmhouse, filled with the patina of a bygone era" was a wreck. Nothing to be done about it now, though. The crumbling two-story, just a few minutes drive from the small Vermont town, hadn’t been occupied in over a decade and was now in a total state of disrepair. 

Swallowing back your tears, feeling the burn behind your eyes and the hot swelling in your throat, you told yourself there wasn’t time for a breakdown. You first needed to take stock of the depth of damage, decide which rooms were habitable enough for the time being, clean, unpack, and prepare yourself for this new life.

The next few hours went by in an exhausting blur. By late evening, there was a larger-than-expected pile of rotten, broken, or otherwise unusable furniture in the driveway; your meager few belongings taking their place. On top of renovations and remodeling it appeared you would also be refurbishing. 

Sitting on the porch in the one spot where you felt confident the decking wouldn’t crumble beneath your weight, you looked over your list.

 3 cracked windows (can wait?)

 no running water in kitchen (ASAP FIX!)

 missing shingles (bad??)

 deck boards and upstairs bedroom floorboards rotten

 carpeted bathroom

 questionable smell coming from attic space 

peeling wallpaper/paint EVERYWHERE

Folding the list and slipping it into your back pocket, you made your way back inside to discover one last glaring issue, previously unnoticed until now. The electricity had been shut off.

Well, fuck me sideways...

Deciding it was too late and you were too tired to deal with anything else today, you settled for the flashlight on your cellphone for light. Eating the apple you had nicked from the motel lobby the night before, you laid back in your makeshift bed on the floor and gazed around your new home.

Your home.

The first thing you had ever owned on your own.

First, the corner of your mouth quirked up then you quickly allowed it to flourish into a grin. It may be a piece of shit, but then again, you were always attracted to broken things with the innate need to fix them. Maybe this time you’d actually succeed. With that sobering thought, you settled down into your sleeping bag and were quickly asleep.

Frankie couldn’t believe his eyes when he drove past the old McClure farm. Some fool had actually bought it! Chuckling to himself, he could already imagine the gossip that would spread through town tomorrow, everyone clambering to find out who had moved in.

He had moved out this way five years ago and was still considered the “new guy” in town. Hopefully, the new arrival would take that mantle and everyone could start using Frankie’s actual name. 

He’ll probably just be dubbed “newer guy”...

Breathing out a huff of a laugh at the thought, Frankie began to turn down his driveway. The long, meandering drive leads to a barn surrounded by rows and rows of apple trees.

Two weeks after having moved in, you’re certain you’ve met, or at least seen, everyone from the town. Muffins, pie, casseroles, and even a case of cider had been brought over by a few of the braver townsfolk who drove out to say hello. While they may have been thinly veiled excuses to come snoop, you couldn’t find it in yourself to complain. The food was delicious, and best of all, it was free.

She had stayed for most of the afternoon, helping you clean and setting her kids about to do menial chores. The eldest, Cole, was sent scurrying up the road to tell his dad to bring Gerta. ... You dared not ask.

The very first visitor was a neighbour from just down the road. “Jacquie,” she had informed you over the noise of her four kids running around the yard, “How do you do?”

She said it with the barest hint of a southern drawl and you instantly fell in love with the soft cadence of her voice. With a beaming smile and a surreptitious wipe of your dusty hand on your pant leg, you shook her hand and introduced yourself. 

A short time later, the most devastatingly handsome, all-American-looking man you had ever seen climbed out of a tractor and started carrying a large object towards the house, Cole at his heels. 

“Jac, babe, where d’you want her?” He called, voice straining a bit due to the weight in his arms. Smiling at you, he nodded his head in greeting, "Hiya, neighbour! The name’s Mark"

“Oh, I don’t need it,” Jacquie replied airily “I just wanted an excuse to watch your muscles at work.”

With a roll of his eyes, that did nothing to hide the adoring sparkle in them, her husband carried his load to the side of the house and with a thump, set it down.

Turns out that Jacquie had a fondness for naming EVERYTHING and Gerta was their gas-powered generator. Claiming they had no use for it, Gerta was yours to keep for as long as you needed her. Which, you had to be honest, was looking like a good long while. Willing away the tears, not for the last time you were sure, brought on by her kindness, you settled for giving her a bear hug. It wasn’t until you heard a little voice calling “Mama?” that you realized you had been clinging to Jacquie for longer than could ever be considered acceptable.

Pulling away gingerly, you started to apologize, quickly stopped by her hand coming up in front of your face, making you involuntarily flinch. 

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry!” She started to exclaim before taking a deeper look at you. Then, without breaking eye contact, she tilted her head to the side and hollered at Mark to gather the kids and head home.

“I’ll be back past bedtime, so come give me y’all kisses now!” She lovingly bossed her brood.

Once they had cleared out, she turned to you, gently taking your hands in hers, and said, “Now, where do you want to start?”

“What kind of voodoo, witch doctor, hippy-dippy magic do you possess?!” you asked with a laugh while sniffing back the lingering tears. 

You had just laid out your entire life to a complete stranger. She had sat there, the whole time, holding your hands and your gaze while you had talked. Everything, you had told her absolutely everything. From the California upbringing in an affluential family to marrying your Highschool Sweetheart days after graduation. The sudden move, his surprise enlistment, his changing demeanor, the beginnings of abuse, all ending with his death while stationed overseas.

The pathetic Death Gratuity from the military barely covered the truck. You’d had to sell everything in order to settle all remaining debts. Your parents had offered to move you back home but the thought just made you ashamed. Moving back home? Being seen as a victim, being pitied by those who had seen your potential wasted? No way.

“Nothin’ supernatural, Darlin,” she assured you, after taking a deep breath to steady herself. It appeared that your emotions had started to affect her as well, you noticed with chagrin. “just the power of a good friend and a strong cider.”

Then came the aftermath. The debt collectors, the funeral without a body, his family claiming anything of value and you meekly allowing it, unaccustomed by that point to standing up for yourself. His grooming of you had started so early, and so slightly, that no one had seen it happen. He had controlled every aspect of your lives; it had made you feel like a fool during that first month as a widow. How could you not know about the multiple maxed-out credit cards? The ignored truck payments? The bank loans?! 

That comment made you look around and laugh, breaking the morose atmosphere in a flash. Scattered around the two of you were at least a half dozen bottles of the alcoholic beverage, which you had both sipped on during your sad monologue.

“Ahh, so it’s the maker of the drink I’ll have to kiss,” you proclaimed with a laugh. “I just saved a fortune in therapy bills!”

With a sly smile, Jacquie nodded, “That you will, send him my best when you do.”

Part Two

[sobdasha]

been thinking about the really weird dynamics of the Honda family

and the ways they parallel with the Souma family.

Tohru's relationship with Grandpa Honda has always been really inscrutable to me. It seems like Kyouko liked him quite a lot, and the feeling was mutual, so their relationship ought to be close, right? But despite relying on Grandpa around the time of Katsuya's funeral, I get the impression that Kyouko and Grandpa aren't very close after that? He takes Tohru in after Kyouko's funeral, but doesn't provide a place for her to stay during the renovations, and they don't seem to keep in touch.

I figured this was for the convenience of the plot. If Tohru was close with her grandpa, then she wouldn't have no family, no one left, after her mom died. If Tohru had somewhere else to go, it wouldn't be so vital that she be allowed to keep living in the Souma house.

I've been thinking about Shiki, though, and about Akito and Shigure as parents within the Souma estate, and I'm wondering now if this wasn't actually a parallel playing out in brilliant Takaya fashion.

Starting with a recap, because a summary of info is always useful to me:

Kyouko grows up in a family that is very much about Keeping Up Appearances and Knowing Your Place. Her dad is verbally and emotionally abusive and isn't above slapping people either. Her mother isn't affectionate and doesn't protect her, probably because she's primarily concerned with protecting herself from the fallout when anything sets off her abusive husband. Kyouko has never had her emotional needs met and she's never been socialized to see others as real people with real feelings. Before even 7th grade she's become part of the gang scene in a cry for help and attention, and because these are the only people she can kind of understand. Her father has told her she's kicked out of the house at least once prior before he finally makes good on it and disinherits her at the end of 9th grade.

Katsuya and his younger sister grow up in a family that is also very much about Traditional Values and Keeping Up Appearances. Grandpa Honda is a teacher, and he puts a big emphasis on Proper Manners (and probably also other things like Good Grades, Fitting In, and Knowing Your Place). He's stern and pressures Katsuya to become a teacher as well. We don't know what Katsuya's mother was like, but I'm assuming she was also not particularly affectionate. It's only after her illness and passing, probably when Katsuya is somewhere around 20, that Grandpa Honda reevaluates his life and what's most important to him.

From a young age, Katsuya flew under the radar by heavily masking--ie, he made a cardboard cutout of what society expected him to be, so Polite, Quiet, Respectable, Studying To Become A Teacher, while underneath it all being filled with apathy, resentment, and loneliness. His moral compass is deeply skewed--see his teasing of people, his attitude of looking down on people, his bragging admittance to using his father's influence to get away with things, his creepy expressions that are identical to those of The Root Of All Evil (ie, Shigure). He has no real interpersonal relationships--family, friend, or romantic. He's a 23 year old TA who is fixated on and marries a 15 year old girl because she's the first person he ever recognized as human--he saw her in the middle of a violent meltdown and it was the first time he was ever really struck by the realization that someone else might feel the same feelings he does.

(Which, in addition to the dubious legality and widely-regarded ickiness, is just downright pathetic. I'm sorry, but it's true. Fruits Basket itself backs me up.)

The first parallel that jumps out at me is between the stories of Kyouko and Katsuya, and Ren and Akira:

Ren is an Outsider. We don't know what her family life was before joining the Souma clan, but based on everything about her I feel it's safe to assume it was also abusive. A large percentage of the Souma family is against the marriage, but Akira is adamant because Ren is the first person he's ever connected with. Similarly, the Honda family (save Grandpa) disapproves of Kyouko and she remains forever an outsider to them.

In Kyouko's case, Katsuya is able to ditch his family and start fresh with Kyouko. Ren, on the other hand, has to live within the toxic Souma family to be with Akira. Both husbands die, leaving a grieving widow and child behind. Kyouko treasures her daughter and finds a new reason to live in Tohru, away from the rest of the Honda family; Ren, already jealous of Akito for getting in the way of her relationship with her husband (and not dealing well with being pulled even further into the Souma family bullshit with all this curse stuff), and trapped within the toxic Souma family with no one on her side, chooses to perpetuate the cycle of abuse.

The thing I've been thinking about most is the parallels between Tohru and the Honda family and Shiki and the Souma family:

As I said before, Tohru's relationship with Grandpa Honda is very strange. It's not just me--Yuki and Kyou make comments to this effect also, I'm pretty sure. But I think I can finally make sense of it now, if I think of it in light of Shiki.

I think there are a couple chapters of FBA out there that I haven't read (the one with Akito, and were there other chapters beyond volume 3?), but Mutsuki implies--and I think we should take this at face value--that Akito and Shigure hope that Shiki will leave the Souma family. They are not kicking their child out. They want this as loving parents, who have done their best to raise their child in a good home in the midst of a very toxic environment. I like to think they will do a good job of explaining this to Shiki, explicitly and clearly. Akito could have walked away from the Souma family, but she chose to stay because she had a hand in perpetuating the toxicity and generational abuse in the Souma family and she is taking responsibility for trying to end the cycle. She has finally stepped up as the head of the family. She could have walked away, but she didn't.

Shiki had no hand in making the Souma family what it is. Shiki is not obligated in any way to put up with that bullshit. Shiki can and should walk away from that toxic environment, go somewhere new, and be happy. He and his parents and all his non-toxic relatives can visit and call each other and still maintain relationships, but in healthier places, as everyone learned to do at the end of Fruits Basket.

This, I believe, is what Grandpa is also doing for Tohru. He's just less explicit and messes it up at first.

I don't know exactly why we don't see more of Grandpa's relationship with Kyouko and Tohru after Katsuya's death. Is it because Tohru, as the narrator, is prioritizing Only Me And My Mom stories? Is it because Kyouko didn't want to be a burden (is that part of where Tohru absorbed it)? Is it because Kyouko couldn't maintain a good relationship with Grandpa with the Honda Family Toxicity in the background?

The Honda family toxicity shows up in full force again when Kyouko dies. Tohru is a riceball that doesn't belong in the Honda family fruits basket. No one, save Grandpa, will take her in.

And then he invites his daughter's family, which he knows is toxic and will abuse Tohru, in to live with the two of them.

I don't know who came up with the idea--if it's Grandpa, that's a bit cold, as he should be caring for Tohru. If it's his daughter ("Dad, you're getting older, you should be living with us so we can take care of you") that does make sense, both as a reasonable social expectation (which dad raised her to adhere to) and as a power move (the Outsider shouldn't be getting so cozy with dad, and dad's inheritance, without supervision). I'm leaning towards the daughter, as I don't think the family combining was intended to get Tohru to leave. I think the remodel, though, was something Grandpa Honda saw as a good opportunity to convince Tohru to leave the Hondas.

I think "I'm having the house remodeled and I'm staying with my daughter, but you weren't invited, I could pull my weight or maybe you could find your own accommodations with a friend?" was intended to give Tohru permission to not feel obligated to the Honda family. I think it was intended to let Tohru find someplace she would actually be happy, a found family living situation where she could flourish. I think Granpda sincerely thought Tohru would move in with Hanajima, instead of into a tent, and realize that she was so much happier and fulfilled there that she never came back to the toxic Honda family and had no regrets.

Grandpa's judgment was a little iffy there but he tried.

I'm realizing that, if everyone moved into Grandpa's house because it was bigger, and it's being remodeled specifically for that purpose...the fact that Tohru is sharing a room with her cousin is very significant. Grandpa was so confident, there is no place for Tohru in that house. Tohru was never supposed to come back after the remodel.

(I don't know that much about houses so it's possible that they just didn't have room; depending on whether that's the uncle or the son, you've got to have 4 or 5 separate bedrooms, which I guess could be a lot. But this is a manga, they aren't strictly constrained to realism, and Takaya makes every damn detail count.)

Tohru isn't supposed to come back after the remodel, but she does. She does, and the family is toxic to her, and Grandpa tells her more overtly that she is not obligated to live here out of familial loyalty. If there's somewhere else Tohru is happier, even if it's a really unconventional living situation, she should feel welcome to choose that instead.

Grandpa's a parallel to Akito here. He's been becoming aware, since his wife died, that his priorities were all wrong. That he raised his children wrong. That Katsuya appeared to have no real emotions and had never connected with anyone outside of Kyouko and their daughter. (Maybe he learned to make work friends?? But I doubt it.) That his daughter is judgmental and cares more about the appearance of being proper than about not being rude.

Don't think poorly of him, Grandpa says. Deep down, they're just evil people. But Grandpa recognizes that he had a hand in creating those evil people. And instead of being like Machi's mom, who goes "well maybe I fucked up" and then throws her out of the family, Grandpa takes responsibility for the family he made. He recognizes that he raised his kids in a way that caused them to be shallow and rude and to think of people as means to an end, and he also recognizes that it would be shitty to reject his kids for turning out exactly as he raised them. He has to live with them (and his choices), he says, but Tohru doesn't.

Looking at it like that, I respect Grandpa Honda more. He seemed a bit wishy-washy before--useful for some plot and character development points, but wishy-washy all the same. But it's a tough decision, and having to prioritize people is always shitty. Grandpa not rejecting his daughter means sacrificing a stable home for Tohru. Akito staying as the head of the Souma family so she can ensure the freedom of the former Zodiac means that her child will be subjected to the same generational abuse, no matter how loving and supportive of a home life she and Shigure provide.

But they're both trying to do a right thing in a crappy situation.

And Tohru, like so many of the former Zodiac, does find happiness and fulfillment in the new family she's able to make for herself. She learns to make her world bigger, and she learns that leaving doesn't have to be the same as cutting ties. And so I'm very optimistic that Shiki will find the same.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

My Brother

Summary: When Inko is fifteen she is handed a picture of her and a blonde boy. She asks who it is. "Your brother. Your parents gave him up because he was Quirkless." Inko spends the next part of her life looking for her brother, only for her son to pull him into her house one day, announcing he found Uncle Toshinori. 

On AO3

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  When Inko was fifteen, her aunt pulled her to the side and handed her a photo. The photo featured her as a little baby, green hair showing above her head, dressed in a little jumper with a pacifier in her mouth. She’s being held awkwardly by a blond boy with big blue eyes, a big grin across his face.

  “Who’s this?” She asked her aunt, curious.

  “Your brother.” Her aunt told her.

 “What?” Inko asked. She looked at the photo again. “Is… what happened?” She asked her aunt, clutching it in her hand.

  “Your parents waited for his Quirk. He didn’t have one.” Her aunt told her, blunt. Her aunt’s hands were threaded together, clutching each other. “They didn’t like that.”

  “... but they work with Quirkless Discrimination agencies. They donate money to…” Inko began but her mind began clicking, thinking.

  Her father’s slight sneer when talking about Quirkless people when they were home, just the family. Her mother’s muttering about donating money being a pain.

  “... they’re pretending.” She whispered. Her aunt nodded.

  “They are. Its status, it’s trendy. Pretending you aren’t a bigot.” Her aunt shrugged. Inko didn’t want to believe. She gave the photo back anyway when her aunt asked her.

 She had to talk to them.

 -0-

  “YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF LIARS!” She screamed at her father. “He was my brother-“

  “He was useless to us!” Her father snapped. “Quirkless- worth nothing in the long run. Your useless Quirk at least makes you a viable bride-“

  “GO TO HELL!” She screamed and ran up to her room.

  “Calm down, she’ll understand. He wasn’t worth it.”

  Screw that. She grabbed her cell phone and called her aunt.

  “Auntie, can you bring your truck?”

  “Of course.”

  It didn’t take long for Inko to pack up what she needed. She ignored the knocking of her mother when it happened and she waited.

  Her aunt showed up.

  “Haruka! Why are you here?” She heard from downstairs and came down, carrying a few bags.

  “The rest are upstairs. I refuse to be in a house of hypocrites.” Her parents didn’t like it, yelling she was overreacting.

  Her threat to tell everyone the truth about her brother had them letting her go.

  Maybe she was overreacting. Maybe. She thought so the moment she got in her aunt’s big grey truck, the one she used to deliver things. She looked to the front door where her parents were glaring at her aunt who stood with her arms crossed.

  Her tall aunt, blonde hair hanging down her back, like her brother’s, Inko’s father. She was tall, tough. Inko looked up to her. Ever since she was a little kid and her aunt had thrown her father into a wall when he’d dared hit Inko.

  “You treat your kid right or I’ll hurt you.” She’d threatened.

  Inko blinked, mind going to many incidents in her life where her aunt had stepped in to stop them from hurting Inko. Where her aunt had told her to not listen to her mother who picked at her appearance, where her aunt had snuck her food when her mother forced her into a diet. Where her aunt had given her money and helped her open a bank account her parents had no control over and had fought with her parents who tried to demand she give them the information.  

  Sitting in the truck, she realized that maybe… the fact they would do that, lie like that… that was the final straw.

 -0-

  Living with her aunt was different. Inko found herself smiling more. Her aunt had a sense of humour that encouraged loud laughter. She never made Inko do anything she didn’t want and even let her drop out of some clubs that her parents had made her go to.

  Inko found herself happy for the first time in a long time as she and her aunt tried to find out how to find her brother.

  It was hard though. The files weren’t kept and her parents had given up all custody and signed multiple forms. As well, it had been fourteen years back.

  Then her aunt got sick. Very sick.

  “Cancer,” the doctors told her. “Pancreatic- most likely from all the chemicals she transported over the years.”

  Pancreatic. Even in the 23 century, it was impossible to cure. Medical research in cancer and other such diseases had tapered off when Quirks became a thing. More focus was on that for a good fifty years or so. Then after that more focus was on other sorts of diseases brought around by Quirks or researching how to help people affected by Quirks.

  “I’m not dying until you’re old enough to be an adult.” Her aunt grunted when Inko asked her how she was feeling. “Eighteen kiddo.” She bared her teeth. “Gotta hold on.”

  Inko was eighteen and just finally finished high school when her aunt died. Her aunt had been living at home still, stubborn and refusing to go to hospice.

  Inko came home after a night out after graduating high school to find her dead.

  The funeral was a hard affair, her parents at least respectful enough to not start anything until after when they tried to get her to move back in with them.

  “I was already accepted into university and will be living in the dorms. As well I told them you are not allowed to ever call and change anything about my classes or living arrangements.”

  They were so mad and she got a call from the dorm manager who told her that they’d had several calls from them within a week. Each time demanding she not be allowed to room there or threatening them.

  None worked. Inko ended up cutting off contact with some help from a friend she made in a study group, Midoriya Hisashi. He was so handsome and kind. He also understood her struggles.

  “I grew up in the foster system for a good portion of my life. I got adopted at fourteen and… they weren’t good. Obsessed with the idea of being my parents, burning things I had of my biological parents. They were the sort of abusers who were kind, the ones you don’t realize are hurting you.”

  It was like Inko and her own. She didn’t know their controlling behaviours, their actions were abuse.

  Not until her aunt and her brother.

  Soon after a few heart to hearts, they started dating, something that her roommate Mitsuki loved.

  “He’s freaking handsome, you go girl!”

  When Inko graduated with a degree in culinary arts, Hisashi proposed while heading to law school.

  They got married the summer after. During that time though they discovered that Hisashi’s adopted parents died. Inko made the choice to try and let her own parents back into her life because she saw how much it hurt him.

  “He’s so nice honey-“ Her mother said when they got in, stopping at seeing one of the photos in their apartment. Her and her brother.

  Inko kept an eye on her mother after that, right up to the time she caught the woman trying to take it down.

  “Stop it!”

  “He’s not your brother he’s some      thing-    “ Inko didn’t let her say another word and shoved her out.

  She didn’t talk to them again.

  “Please don’t regret it,” Hisashi told her.

  “I won’t,” Inko told him.

  She continued to look for her brother, her husband helping. But it was hard. Harder, even more, when she became pregnant at age 28, just when Hisashi was finishing law school. They took a break, Inko going on maternity leave from the bakery she was working at.

  She gave birth to a perfect little boy she loved dearly. Hisashi loved him too, even as his work became demanding. Being part of a hero’s legal team was hard after all. Especially a destructive one like the Empire who could cause earthquakes by accident.

  Mitsuki already had a son named Katskii herself and the two hoped their sons would become friends, and it looked like they would though Inko worried. Katsuki was a headstrong little boy who seemed to love bossing others around. He was sometimes mean to Izuku and his meanness was cruel in ways she knew could cause problems.

  Mitsuki at least also saw it. But her own parenting didn’t work well.

  “My parents used to slap me around,” she told Inko blankly. “My dad once held my head underwater for a minute because I pissed him off. I… I try you know? But… where’s the line?”

  “My parents controlled every aspect of my life. They would force me on diest when I was already too thin, would go through my emails and phone. My dad hit me too, but my aunt… she stepped in each time.” Inko told her back. They both knew already, but it was nice to talk about.

  When her son, Izuku, was four though she sat in a doctor’s office and heard the worst discussion of Quirklessness in her life.

  “That test hasn’t been allowed to diagnose Quirklessness for twenty-years!” she shouted at the doctor. “Blood test, now!” The doctor was pissed and refused so she stomped out with her son, making sure each parent in the waiting room knew the doctor was using outdated medical information before rescheduling an appointment with a different doctor.

  Inko was darkly pleased that Dr. Tsubasa ended up being reprimanded and forced to take more classes. There was some issue with his grandson but his parents dealt with that.

  Yet, when the blood tests came back, Izuku was diagnosed as Quirkless.

  “He has no Quirk himself, though we believe any child he has with a Quirked individual will have a much more powerful Quirk than their other parent.” the doctor said. He was nicer at least. Izuku was so fragile, so small about this as they went home. He watched his favourite hero video, Inko watching from the door to the office.

  “...Mama, can I be a hero too?” little Izuku said. Inko felt like breaking down. She didn’t think so. Izuku was so small, so little. And she had never heard about a Quirkless hero. But then she thought of her brother.

  “I don’t know sweetie,” she finally admitted. She walked up to him and knelt down, hugging him. “But… I think you can do your best.” It wasn’t enough and she knew it but she also knew too well the Quirkless statistics.

  That was the first night she told Izuku about her brother. She showed him the picture and explained.

  “I won’t be like my parents,” she promised him. And she wouldn’t. Hisashi promised as well, and the two worked hard to make sure he was happy.

  Inko did eventually go back to work when Izuku was five, hoping and praying her son would be okay.

  She knew he was lying when he came home with ruined clothes and claimed it was all accidents. She knew he was lying when he tried to claim he was okay. But she couldn’t do anything. Not without actual proof.

  She hoped Katsuki was helping her son.

  She had a terrible feeling he wasn’t.

 -0-

  Inko and Hisashi began talking about opening a cafe when Izuku was six. The little boy was all for it, offering ideas and his own thoughts. They were happy. Inko still looked for her brother but she had accepted it might never happen. Izuku dreamed of being a hero. Hisashi was doing well at work.

  And then…

  Empire accidentally destroyed his own agency. Lost control.

  Hisashi didn’t make it.

  The large payout from the agency plus the Hero Public Safety Commission was enough for Inko to not have to work for years if they were careful.

  It didn’t fix a single thing.

  Inko would admit she lost herself for a year, completely unable to think or do anything. She wandered her apartment blankly.

  It took her son hiding a broken wrist from her to snap her out of it. She was horrified and she marched into the school to scream at them. She listed exactly what she knew about anti-Quirkless Discrimination laws, and what she could do to them.

  Izuku stopped being hurt that bad. But emotional abuse from his peers and teachers was harder to figure out.

  Inko began to work on the cafe again, as well as she began helping out at rallies on anti-Quirkist ideas. Inko also made sure Izuku knew he could go to her no matter what, but also tried not to be her parents. She tried not to butt in at any time and let him live his own life.

  As he got older she wondered if she should try more. If her hands-off approach was as bad as her own parent’s actions to her.

  But she was terrified. She didn’t want to be them.

  Inko watched as her son got older, as he got more secretive and worried. She tried to get him into programs but each time she was refused. Or they would let him go but then stop, saying he kept having people come and harass him.

  “Then why is it his fault?” she asked them. They shrugged.

  It was just easier to get rid of him than others. Izuku got very quiet after that and stopped wanting to do extra things.

  She worried and worried and she would look at the photo of her brother. She wondered if the worry she had would be for him as well. If she had grown up with an older brother who was hated, who had to fight to be respected by anyone.

  She was pretty sure she’d be more of a mess.

 She also imagined though, a tall man coming in to help with Izuku. Who would help fight against the school. Who would be with her through the death of Hizashi.

  She often stared at the photograph of her and her brother, wondering what if.

  The cafe she started had a copy of the photograph and any person making any Quirkist comments was thrown out in seconds. She provided a safe space for everyone, and she found that by doing so she got a lot of customers from people who struggled to find a place in society.

  It attracted other attention to, including a man she was fairly certain was an underground hero who came in with a black jumpsuit, getting the darkest coffee. He was a nice enough man though, and Inko found herself enjoying conversations with him. Mostly about cats or his loud friend she wanted to tell him was hitting on him.

  When a loud man came in asking for the ‘regular coffee order’ for the jumpsuit guy she stared him down.

  “Ask him out, we’re all done with his pining.” The man spluttered. “He talks about you nonstop. I don’t know his name, he pays with cash. He has mentioned you though enough I can recognize you on site. Ask him out please.”

  Shuichi, one of the cafe workers snorted. “We’re all done. Please just date him already.” The lizard-like teen continued to work while the blonde spluttered but did leave with the regular coffee and an order for himself.

  A week later both showed up, holding hands.

  “Yay! The pinning is over!” Shuichi said from where he was trying to help Izuku with math, his angry mutters about how the teachers were purposely fudging his grades making Inko plan another trip to the school to threaten them.

  “Yay!” Izuku laughed, the nine-year-old grinning at the nasty look he got. “You don’t scare me. I saw you sneak a cat in here in your scarf.”

  Inko found herself laughing harder than ever that night, and the two- Shouta and Hizashi- became friends of the family.

  As time continued to tick by, even with moments like the one where she made friends with the two she kept worrying. As Izuku got more and more nervous about school, as she saw scars he kept claiming she was mistaken about. As Mitsuki began whispering her worries over her son and how the school seemed to not worry over his anger or his attitude, as they seemed to ignore it.

  She tried to talk to him but didn’t know what to do. She felt lost.

  Then, he was fourteen and came home with a smile on his face and a spark in his eyes. He spoke happily and told her of his plan to start working out soon. She smiled and told him she was proud. It was March, nearing the end of his second year of middle school and she was happy he was happy.

  A week into his spring vacation, he opened the door to the apartment holding the hand of a tall blonde man. She frowned.

  “Izuku?” she asked him before she got a good look at the man. Her eyes widened at seeing that face.

  “Mom… I found uncle Toshinori.”

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Is Shuichi who you think it is? Yes. Originally I was like: this is just an AU where it just so happens All Might is Inko’s brother but then my brain went: okay but- so Spinner is good in this AU as he managed to find a job with Inko and is the older brother figure to Izuku.

Hope you guys liked this! Next part would be a One Shot from All Might's perspective then we actually get the story-story from Izuku's!

[dianapana]

SH Day 1: The Beginning of us

@sasuhinamonth

(Modern AU, OOC most likely)

“Kids, don’t forget to be very nice to Grandma today, it’s a difficult day for her” Hikari said once again, only to be met with silence. The woman sighed deeply and looked into the rearview mirror at her two teens, both with earphones in, typing away on their phones.

“They both love your mom; I know they’ve been in awful mood swings lately but they haven’t seen Hinata in a couple weeks.” Yuuta, Hikari’s husband tried to reassure her.

“I know, but this would have been dad’s birthday, and she always gets so sad around this time of the year. It’s been almost 10 years since dad died, but it still breaks my heart every time to see her cry”

Just as she finished talking the car stopped, Hikari did not have the time to turn around and ask her kids to be well-behaved because they were both out of their seats and running towards the house.

“These kids, I swear…” Hikari murmured to herself as she was putting her phone into her purse getting ready to get out of the car as well. She was just about to complain some more but was cut off.

“MOOOOOM, THE DOOR’S LOCKED”

That was it, the sentence that made her skin crawl, she froze in place. Hinata always waited for them by the window and would come outside when the car park, no matter how down she was that day, she would always be outside, but she wasn’t, the door was locked.

“Kids come back here,” Yuuta said softly while taking her purse. The kids got back into the car with wide eyes, confused but also scared. Hikari could not move, she stayed still and silent looking at her own hands as Yuuta went to unlock the door and then went deeper into the house. The few minutes he was gone felt both like a few seconds and an eternity.

He came out of the house with a deep frown on, he didn’t even have to say the words, they all knew. The kids cried Hikari fought against tears and Yuuta called his brother-in-law to tell him the sad news. Hinata had passed away in her sleep.

The week to come was a blur of phone calls and planning intertwined with crying, mourning and comforting. The funeral came and ended in a blink of an eye. Most of Hinata’s friends and generation had already passed, thus most of the people attending were distant family or kids of her friends. Regardless the room was filled with sobs and condolences. Just a few days prior Hikari complained about her kids growing up too fast, becoming adults that no longer needed her, but during the funeral, both of them held her hand as they cried throughout the ceremony.

Hinata was buried next to Sasuke, after 10 years of making him wait she decided to leave them and join him in heaven, part of Hikari was happy the two of them would meet again in the afterlife, but the other half of her was stubbornly missing her mother, needing her even in her adult life.

The last step of the process was cleaning out the house. It almost felt like blasphemy when they decided to sell the house. Sasuke built that house for Hinata, they started their family there. Even after Sasuke passed Hinata refused to move in with either of her kids because the house itself held importance to her. Two months passed since the funeral, but it still felt too soon, yet Yuuta and her elder brother were moving the furniture seeming not to understand the gravity of the matter.

Hikari on the other hand was on the floor of Hinata and Sasuke’s bedroom looking through photo albums of their childhood. She was reminiscing all the happy memories she had in the house, being in deep thought she didn’t hear her kids walking in until one of them affirmed loudly. “Wow Grandma and Grandpa look so young here”

Hikari looked over to see which photo they were referring to. It was a black and white shot of the two smiling, they were 19 at the time, Hikari knew the picture well, much like the story behind it.

“That was taken on their first date,” she said and the two kids looked up at her, waiting, expecting more, willing to hear the story. “Mom told me the story about a million times when I was a teen ‘If he doesn’t treat you like Sasuke treated me here, don’t bother he’s not worth your time Hikari’ she’d say”

Looking at the photo for a moment longer she could almost hear Hinata’s soothing voice as she was telling the story.

“The two of us met when we were small kids, our mothers were friends but we moved from Konoha after I entered elementary school. At the time the move was devastating, but as years went by, he slowly became a passing thought until finally I completely forgot about him and our friendship. Years later after, I returned to Konoha because I was assigned a kindergarten teacher post here. The first few days here were awful, I knew nobody and the other teacher was so rude and mean. I cried myself to sleep the first two weeks. I hated the apartment I stayed in as well; looking back, the apartment was lovely, but I hated being alone, I had never been alone before, and at the time being a single young girl in the city by yourself was frowned upon, and that mentality was so deeply rooted In my mind as well, I felt shame at times to come home to silence. I barely managed to get used to the job when I met Sasuke again, he was a young, handsome man; and he knew it too, if you think his ego is bad now you should have seen him back then. He came by the kindergarten to pick up his niece. He claims he remembered me and that’s why he kept approaching me, but I don’t believe that; I am telling you he fell in love at first sight.

I didn’t want to do anything with him, I was still having a tough time and a relationship would be too difficult to start at the time, but he insisted almost daily. It started out in a self-centred manner; he really believed himself to be the best catch out there, and he was, but still, it wasn’t very attractive at the time how he approached me in that way. So, after a few tries, he realized he should change how he tried to get my attention, he would bring me one flower every day when he came to pick up his niece; he apparently begged his sister-in-law to allow him to pick her up daily. Then, all of a sudden, he stopped coming, I didn’t ask about him because why would I, but his disappearance made me feel sad and disappointed; it made me realize how our small interactions actually meant so much to me and how much I basked in his attention.

A month passed and I had not seen him since, this time his memory was much stronger and harder to forget, but I was starting to lose hope of ever seeing him again. And just as I started accepting that fact, he returned with 31 flowers, one for each day he was absent, and a picture; a picture of the two of us as kids holding hands in the backyard of my old house. He looked so lovely, he was wearing a suit; it was the first time I saw him in one; he had just gotten an important job and couldn’t stop by due to the training program he needed to complete.

Before I could even get a word out, tell him I had missed him or that I was happy to see him, or how utterly surprising it was that we had met before; he started talking about fate and destiny, it was a lovely speech that painted us to be the one and only option for the other, it was very sweet. But once again he didn’t allow me to reply before asking me to wait. ‘Wait for a month’ he said ‘I will come and ask you on a proper date, one that I will be able to pay for with my first salary.’ I thought that was charming of him so I agreed.

Little did I know that a month later he’d show up once again with 31 roses and on a motorcycle. I had never dreamt of seeing one of those at the time, they were still so new and almost frightening. But I had waited for that date for such a long time so I decided to do things his way. He took me to the most expensive restaurant in the city.

The date itself is such a fun story too when he had to order he asked for the beef tartare, but he had never had it before and thought the condiments that came on the side were pre-portioned so he dumped everything in, it was so disgusting he couldn’t even take two bites out of it, so we ended up splitting my pasta. After the ‘dinner fiasco’ as Sasuke still refers to it, we continued our drive, he took me outside Konoha grounds to a small river bank where it was rumoured that you could see the most stars in the sky. That’s where we took the picture. We actually took about a dozen but we were both nervous, so either I had my eyes closed or his hands were shaking and the photo was blurred.

We leaned against the bike and looked at the sky for a while until he took my hand and held it, my heart was beating so fast I was certain he could hear it. I had never been on a date before, and the month of not seeing him made me realize my feelings, add to that a full month of waiting and expectations and I was a ball of stress, especially now that we were all alone in a secluded area. I had been fine at the restaurant, I was calm and collected while he had been the anxious one, but now the roles were reversed, he appeared to be so sure of himself and I was shaking all over. I thought the silence would be awkward, but it wasn’t, it was comfortable. I can’t even remember how long we looked at the starts and occasionally talked a bit, but I do remember the cool summer wind and his warm hand, I remember the mischievous glint in his eye, I was sure he’d kiss me, but he only looked at me and called me beautiful.

We only had our first kiss on date number six about three weeks and a half later, when I asked why he waited so long, he told me that Itachi gave him some advice, that at times waiting builds up suspense and makes the other person constantly think of you; which was true, all my thoughts would somehow lead up to him; and Sasuke said that he wanted me thinking of him as much as possible so I’d catch up to him; so, I’d like him just as much as he liked me. Poor him, not knowing I had already fallen deeply in love.

Don’t settle for less Hikari, they have to have an elaborate and intricate plan to get to you, and if it’s you doing the chasing follow your dad’s lead because I thought he was so charming.”

The story would forever be in Hikari’s mind, she would forever remember her parents as being deeply in love from their beginning until their last moments. The house was filled with memories, but so was she, she carried around all of the stories and moments of her parent’s love story throughout the years, and it was a beautiful tale.

[anythingbutmar]

Mistake

Diego Hargreeves x reader

Summary: After you turned 18, Diego and you pretty much distanced from the other members of the academy, so when you all meet for Reginald’s funeral you have some explaining to do.

A/N: I kinda love this concept but I changed a few details of this request so the reader is not raised as a sibling and her relationship with the others is in no way familial. I missed writing, specially for Diego, so thanks anon! This is quite long too, so sorry about that. I had a lot of fun too, so let me know if you’d like me to make this into a series, cause I might do it.

Warnings: cursing, mentions of homelessness, but overall just fluff and a bit of angst.

You liked to say that the life you made by yourself happened because of a simple mistake, because you had come across the Umbrella Academy on a very particular way.

You could say you had a decent upbringing, your mother wasn’t abusive but she was pretty much the definition of overprotective, and as a child you were never told that it was because a man had literally tried to buy you on the day you were born, in fact, you didn’t know anything about him or the children he managed to adopt because your mother and grandparents wouldn’t let you get anywhere near any piece of information of whatever existed outside your little hometown.

They told you they were doing it because your father had left you when you were just a baby and they wanted to protect you from the dangers of foreign men, of course you thought that you were born from a normal pregnancy, and you believed everything, that and the fact that you could control any element to your will, which they said was wrong and kept hidden. You were homeschooled, and you could only socialize with the kids from your neighborhood which was good, but it wasn’t enough, and we all now overprotectiveness can really mess with someone’s mind.

And so, even though you went along with it for many years, when one of your only friends suggested you both snuck out for a party on the big city for your sixteenth birthday you couldn’t say no, and that was the mistake, if it is possible to call it like that.

On the best Rapunzel style you went out your bedroom window, got on a bus and drank so much alcohol you completely passed out on a strangers lap and woke up on an unknown bed with a beautiful woman smiling down at you. Well, maybe that wasn’t Rapunzel’s style, but it sure felt like it at first.

The next series of events happened so fast it almost felt like a dream. You met a handful of strange children, one of which you later remembered had brought you there while being just as drunk as you were, his name was Klaus, and he later became the best friend you ever had; then you had the most overwhelming conversation of your life, in which an incredibly mean old man explained how you were actually born and made you understand just how different and important you were, but not in the wholesome way.

About an hour later your mother stormed through the academy looking for you, but one of the girls whispered something in her ear on her dad’s command which changed your mom’s entire attitude, with her allowing you to stay as if it was a boarding school, or so she told you, but she only visited once every few months and she didn’t seem as caring as before. According to Allison, that was in no way her fault, and you believed her, because at the end of the day you trusted your newfound friends much more than the woman that lied to you your entire life.

And so, you learnt to control your ability like never before, while also enduring Reginald’s cruel treatment, but it didn’t matter at all, because in the midst of everything you found Diego, and with him came all the things you never experienced before. He brought you happiness, love, trust and overall, lust for life.

Two years later you were living your best teenage secret romance. You snuck out at nights to visit all the parts from the city that he wanted you to meet, and you shared tiny kisses whenever Reginald and the kids weren’t watching. But Diego left, just like he had planned since he was a kid, and you weren’t brave enough to follow him. It wasn’t until his other siblings started leaving too that you realized that no matter how hard it was to be outside on your own, holding on to life with him was better than anything else. It was actually thanks to Allison, the smart girl had noticed you two holding hands under the table and knew just how heartbroken you were without him. “Chase him, Y/N, you won’t have this opportunity ever again.” She said right before she left, and she was absolutely right.

It took you less than a week to find him on a motel, bruised as ever and with barely enough money to pay for another night, and in between hugs, kisses and forbidden touches you promised him that you’d both get out of there. He told you he had been on that place for three weeks and a half, but the first few days after leaving the academy he had to sleep on a park bench until he gathered enough money by playing with his knifes to amuse people on the street. It had been hard, but now that you were together everything was so much better.

After many years living in the back room of a rusty gym, both of you taking turns in wiping it’s floors while also trying to study and save people at nights, because the one thing you learned from Reginald was that you loved helping people, and Diego’s vigilantism was just as appealing to you as it was to him. Diego was accepted into the police force and you finished your studies on a cheap school, which allowed you both to get a job you liked, and when you were finally able to buy a house for yourselves Diego proposed.

“Y/N, before you arrived my life was a nightmare, and all I ever wanted was to stay as far away from that place as it was possible, and everything that reminded me of it I planned on cutting from my life, but you arrived with your sweet smile, your shy eyes and those damn legs, and you completely switched my view of the world because I knew right there that I would love you forever, and I do. I love to see you in your weird ass robe, making potions-”

“I’m a chemist babe, not a witch.” You corrected him laughing.

“Let me finish Y/N!” He laughed with you. “I love how you treated me and my siblings, and I love how you helped mom, and god! I love how you used to beat bad guys with fucking wind on our nights out! I love everything about you sweetheart, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” By then you were both crying, and of course you said yes, how could you not?

Cut to ten years later and the day you had silently both dreaded and hoped for came. Reginald Hargreeves was dead, and you couldn’t even tell if you were sad about it, after all, the man had saved you from Mother Gothel, as Diego and you started calling her after watching Tangled with your daughters, but he saved you at what cost? You now had quite a few burn scars in your body from his dangerous training, you loved each one of them because they reminded you just how powerful you were, but still, no teenager should have to go through that.

And you couldn’t even get started on Diego. You wondered how and when he would take the news. He was out on his monthly vigilante night, which was kind of a gift you gave to each other, you were allowed to leave for the night once every month on different days because now that you had kids you could no longer risk your life everyday like you used to before. The kids, oh boy, what were you gonna do with your beloved girls? You weren’t sure if taking them to the funeral with you was the right decision, you wanted to shelter them from death and all the evil things in the world, but then again, you weren’t your mother, and you had no one to leave them with.

Just as you were thinking about maybe even staying, your husband entered your home, and he looked destroyed. It was one in the morning and you had been waiting for him while thinking of Reginald, and clearly he had been thinking about the same thing. You quickly stood up and wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“He’s d-dead.” He stuttered on your shoulder. He didn’t even sound sad, he just seemed shocked.

“Shh, I know baby, I know.” You stood there for a while, just comforting each other in the middle of your kitchen before going to bed, you needed to rest for the next day because you knew it would be anything but ordinary.

And in the blink of an eye you were ringing the bell of the academy, each of your girls holding their father’s hand, the three of them standing behind you in your small, useless effort to protect them.

Grace opened up, and you couldn’t be happier to see her. You gave her a small hug and then gave Diego some space so he could properly say hi to his beloved mother. He introduced Luna and Amber and she was delighted to see Diego in a stable, loving family, she just seemed a bit off, but you’d talk to Diego about that later.

And then... Lord help you, you entered the livingroom and ran headfirst into Klaus who instantly hugged you, twirling you around and making you laugh as you both landed on the floor.

“Y/N, love! How have you been?” He sat up, looking at the doorframe, as he seemed to notice the two pair of eyes that stared in curiosity. “Oh I see you’ve gotten busy! Hello my little munchkins, I’m your uncle Klaus!”

“Wait Y/N/N, you’re with Diego now?” Luther asked from the other side of the room. Despite his rivalry with your now husband, you were quite close to him during your small time on the academy.

“Honestly Luther, I love you, but you can be quite oblivious sometimes.” You stood up with his help and hugged him tightly, getting a comforting feeling from his embrace.

“I’m here too, you know, your brother, Diego?” He finally entered, still holding your daughters’s hands and analizing the scene.

“It’s not our fault that you can’t say hi to anybody.” Allison came from behind him, scaring him, which made the girls laughing.

“Hi Allison.” He mumbled, rolling his eyes at his sister.

“I always knew you liked keeping your secrets but this two are way too big to hide” Se kneeled down to pinch Luna’s cheek, who smiled bashfully at her aunt.

Amber, your youngest, ran towards you and pulled your hand. You kneeled to her height as she whispered in your ear. “Mommy, I want to meet uncle Spaceboy.” You smiled softly at her sweetness, carrying her towards him. She instantly jumped in his arms, which took both Luther and you by surprise, she wasn’t the most sociable girl after all, but you kinda understood, his big frame and natural akwardness made him look quite huggable.

“Damn bro, you’ve gotten big.” Diego joined you, leaving Allison to play with Luna, who was now excited to know that she had a cousin her age, and you left before the two started bickering, but much to your surprise, the presence of your daughter seemed to retain them from fighting like they used to. Maybe bringing them was a good idea after all.

“Well, this is is quite the frame” Pogo entered the room with Vanya right behind him. You all waved at them, tired already of all the hugs already.

“Hi everyone.” Vanya entered uncomfortably, allowing Allison to hug her and having a small talk.

You turned to Diego and looked at him, a warning in your eyes. You knew your husband all to well, and you could see how much the book had hurted him, but you weren’t going to let him start a fight in the middle of a family meeting.

But of course, he wouldn’t listen to you.

“Why did you do it?” He started walking towards her as you mentally facepalmed. This wasn’t going to end well.

“Really, Diego? This isn’t the right time.” Allison scolded him, standing between him and her only sister.

“Then when is it, Allison? The next time we see each other? Should we wait another twelve years?” Allison just scoffed and stormed out of the room, Luther following after her, Vanya left silently, looking hurt, and Klaus snuck out in the heat of the moment, probably looking for money.

You sat on the biggest couch in the middle of your daughters, surrounding them with your arms. “That went well.” You stared at Diego, who pocked his tongue at you.

And it was about to get worse.

After having a tiny dance party, thanks to Luther’s incredibly loud turntable, you heard a thunderlike sound and watched as a bright blue light appeared outside. You looked at Diego, knowing what to do from all the years of practice that you had together. Each of you grabbed one of the kids, running outside to meet the others, who surrounded you in a protective manner, protecting their newly met nieces.

There was a portal in front of you, which Klaus tried to close with a fire extinguisher, but you could tell it wouldn’t work, because that wasn’t made of fire, or any other element that you were familiar with, for that matter, and you were an element bending chemist, for christ’s sake.

“What the hell is that babe?” Diego yelled, trying to understand.

“I have no idea, but there’s something coming out of it!” You yelled back, and everyone turned to look at what appeared to be an old man coming out of the portal. And in a flash of blue, a small boy landed at your feet, he looked incredibly similar to the portrait of the lost sibling that hung on top of the fireplace.

“Does anyone else see little number five?” They all nodded at Klaus, who clearly wasn’t sober enough for this, or maybe the poor thing thought that was the ghost of him, and you knew he already had enough with one dead brother following him around.

“What on earth is wrong with this family?” You said, looking at the odd teenager.

                                                             --

Minutes passed as you all stared at Five, who was preparing a goddamned sandwich, in the middle of one of the most confusing moments of your life.

“You’re new.” He simply stated, looking at you.

“Umm yeah, we haven’t had the chance to meet before, I’m Y/N.” You extended your hand, which he didn’t take, the tiny bastard.

“Oh we’ve met. You were the one with the girls, holding his hand.” He pointed at Diego, sandwich in hand.

“I don’t understand, you weren-”

“Look kid, I’m sorry, but I can’t trust you, you need to leave.” Diego was ready to jump at him, but Luther stopped him and you grabbed his arm softly.

“It’s ok honey, I get it.” You whispered and left to look for Grace who was taking care of the girls.

You let out a sigh as you walked by your old room. You had been wanting to scream ever since you got there, but this was your first alone moment in the whole day, and a sigh was just as effective as a scream, it helped.

                                                            --

Then came the funeral, and it was hard. Luther scattered the ashes and you manipulated the wind so they wouldn’t look like a pile of grey shit, which actually, was an accurate depiction of Reginald, but you did it for him and Pogo, it was the right thing to do.

And after a few out of place comments, Diego and Luther started fighting right in front of your daughters, so much for the agreement. Luna and Amber started crying, hiding behind Five, who, much to your surprise, covered them with his body as he slowly took them inside. It was infuriating to see the men fighting in front of you, but you couldn’t help but smile looking at Five.

It was that moment that truly made you feel home, like you really were in family, and it warmed your heart.

-End of maybe part one?-

[beauvibaby]

need you - f.andersen

a/n: leave it up to me to write an emotional af Freddie fic at 9 o’clock on a Sunday morning 🙃 ok but honestly a pt.2 for this??? I’d be down to write it if you’d read it

warnings: death of parent, funeral talk, and soft!Freddie (lets be real we need a warning for that)

Word count: 3k

You stared blankly at the screen, the number flashing across your mothers phone, you just got here, it couldn't happen so fast, there’s no way. No one could move, your brother sat beside you already balling his fists, trying to hold back the tears as your mother started calling out for your father, who we all knew was gone now. You finally picked up the phone at the last second, answering before it could go to voicemail. “Is this Mrs. Y/L/N?” The nurse from the hospice center spoke coldly, you’re heart broke, “this is her daughter.” You answered, hands shaking, the words she muttered you didn't think you’d ever forget. “I’m sorry to tell you that Mr. Y/L/N passed at 6:47 this evening.” Her voice was level, you couldn't blame her, she probably made these calls everyday, but still anger coursed through you. Not at her, but at everything, at life, at god. Why would he take your father so soon? He was only 60, far too young to have suffered for over ten years the way he did. “We’re on our way.” You managed to whisper out as your mother clung to you, she screamed your dads name, as if he would appear, as if he would have never left. But, we all knew that wasn't the case. You couldn't bring yourself to cry, as horrible as it sounded, you were almost relieved, that he wouldn't suffer anymore, that you wouldn't have to watch him struggle to walk from one side of the house to the other without losing his breath. The car ride to the hospice center was a long one, despite your sister in law running nearly every red light to get there. Your mom cried the whole time, your brother angrily stared out the window, guilt eating at him for not spending more time with his father before he left. You, you just sat there, sadness rushing through your veins as you still couldn't bring the tears to fall, you watched out the window as the god forsaken building came into view, all that you could hear as you expertly made your way down the hallways were the last words you’re father told you before he was too out of it to communicate. 

“I love you, baby, take care of your brother, okay?” 

“Of course, daddy, I love you too.” 

That was three days ago, the day they told you it was lung cancer, the day you came rushing over from work because the doctor needed to talk to the whole family. The day you called your brother and told him your dad was going to die, the day you went home and cried yourself to sleep on the floor with the dog, who himself was whining, already knowing that his favorite person was never going to come home. Your mind went to Freddie as you walked in, he was away, the hockey season had just started, and you told him your dad wasn't doing good, but you didn't admit to him just how bad, thinking you surely had a couple of weeks left, you knew Freddie would leave in a heartbeat to come be with you, and your mother who he had grown to love almost as much as his own. 

You entered the room, freezing in the doorway as you saw him laid out on the bed, you knew what to expect, you knew what he would look like, you had seen your grandmother like this just a year before, but it made your gut wrench to see your dad so lifeless, the color already leaving his skin. “I’m gonna be sick.” You mumbled, rushing towards the bathroom, your brother tried to follow you to make sure you were okay, but you locked the bathroom door. You heard your mom telling him to let it go, knowing it wouldn't do anything but make it worse for you. You kneeled over the toilet, crying as you emptied your stomach. Instant relief hitting you, but after you flushed it, you sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, sobbing, finally, letting the emotions out. You tearfully pulled your phone out, eyes blurry with water as you shakily dialed Freddie’s number, you knew it was the middle of the game, he wouldn't see this for another hour or two at least, but you needed to tell him now, before the funeral planning got underway. As you figured, the phone call went to voicemail. “Freddie,” you paused, letting out a cry, knowing it was going to kill him, but you couldn't help it, “he’s gone, and, I-I-uh-I need you, please.” You whimpered into the phone hanging up right after. You didn't want to go through personally telling all your friends so as tacky as it might seem, you posted a picture of you and your father from when you were little, writing a simple caption, “heaven gained another angel tonight, love you always daddy” posting it and silencing your phone as you rinsed your mouth, walking out to join your grieving family. Your brother was by the window, his wife draped over his back, as if she could absorb his sadness. Your mother sat blankly by the foot of the bed, hardly being able to look at her husband laid there like that. “I love you, mom.” You whispered sitting beside her, you were the rock of the family, always, so she didn't hesitate to rest her head on her shoulder as she started crying for the millionth time tonight. You once again sat blankly, staring at your shoes, not wanting to imprint the image further into your brain. 

***

You had all since gone back to your house, you went straight to your fathers office, already starting to sort through things, you knew you should take a moment, you knew you should let yourself grieve, but you couldn't. You took a garbage bag from the kitchen, bringing it with you and shutting yourself in there, your brother came in for a while, only telling you what he wanted to take back home with him for his kids. You gave him those items and he let you be, he was never good with his emotions, let alone dealing with yours. You had forgotten to turn your ringer back up on your phone so when you pulled it out to check the time you were shocked to see seven missed calls from Freddie, but one message that made relief hit you like a truck. 

“I’m coming, the plane lands in thirty minutes.” That was sent well over an hour ago, only then did you realize it was nearing one am, you walked out of the office, your sister in law and brother sitting on the couch watching some Adam Sandler movie, your mother had gone to bed, the dog trailing along with her, keeping her company as if he could feel the pain radiating off of her. “Freddie will be here soon.” You announced softly, your brother nodded blankly, he got along well enough with Freddie, but you knew deep down Freddie had a certain level of disrespect for your brother, seeing how poorly he has treated you in the past, but Freddie was more of a man despite being younger than your brother, so you knew he wouldn't act on it. You sat down on the love seat, not wanting to be near them, but not wanting to be alone again, your mind wandered as you thought of how well Freddie and your dad had gotten along, it always made you happy, and your dad had been the one to realize you two would last before even you did. “You’re going to marry him one day, Y/N, wether I’m here or not, just know that I love him.” That memory brought tears to your eyes, and you shot up when you saw headlights outside, the uber dropping Freddie off in front of your house. You ran out the door, not caring how loud you were. “Freddie!” You shouted, making him whip around in the dark as he pulled his suitcase out of the trunk. He nearly dropped it down to the ground, not caring as he rushed to meet you. “Y/N, I’m so sorry, baby, so so sorry.” He whispered, kissing the top of your head repeatedly as you began to cry against him, “I wish I had been here, but I’m not going anywhere now, I promise.” He added making you nod against him, he shuffled to grab his bag with you still clung to him. “Come on, love, it’s cold outside, let’s go inside.” He shushed you, carefully walking with his free arm around you as the other pulled his suitcase along. 

You entered the house, finally loosening your grip on him as Max your dog came barreling out of the room, tail thumping in excitement at the sight of your boyfriend. He reached down to pet the dog as you stayed glued to his side, not wanting to release the comforting grip he had on you. He slowly let go of you to greet your brother and sister in law, you let out an inaudible whimper when he let go of you, as soon as he released you he was back to you. Wrapping you up in his hold again as your brother and his wife made their way to the guest room. “Did you want to get some sleep?” He asked softly, toying with your hair as you nuzzled your face into his neck. You nodded softly, allowing him to lead you to your room, he knew this house like the back of his hand, “wait.” You muttered all of a sudden, letting go of him and walking into your dads office, you took the framed photo of you and him, bringing it into your room and placing it on your dresser, Freddie smiled softly pressing a soft kiss to your temple, before pulling out one of his shirts for you. “I know you’re going to want to take a shower.” He whispered, also knowing your routine like his own, you always wanted to shower after a long day, so you gave him a quick kiss, before trudging into the bathroom.

You let yourself get lost in the shower, meanwhile Freddie quietly made his way to your dads office, he went straight towards the closet, opening the doors slowly as he knew otherwise they would squeak, and he carefully opened the filing cabinet, and could tell by the later of dust on the handle that it probably hadn’t been touched since the day your father showed it to him. He reached in and felt around in the dark, letting out a relieved breath as he felt the small box. He pulled it out, and his eyebrows knit together as their was a note folded up and taped to it. He quickly opened it up, after checking to make sure the ring was still securely in the box, he smiled down at it, it was your grandmothers, and it was ko seceret to anyone that you wanted it to be your engagement ring. He had talked to your father months ago when he started going down hill, and he told Freddie where he hid the ring.

“Alright, Freddie, if you’re reading this note, obviously I didn’t stick around long enough to see this moment. You know you have my blessing to marry Y/N, you treat her better than I ever could’ve imagined, don’t let her go, son. Hold on tight to her... if you’re reading this the day I pass, which knowing my daughter you will be, in fear of her getting rid of the filling cabinet with this still in it. Hold on to this ring, give her some time, you’ll know when the moment is right.”

Freddie couldn’t help but let out a tearful chuckle at the so blatantly forward note your father had left, he heard the shower turn off and quickly made his way out of there, hiding the ring and the note in his suitcase. He changed into some sleeping clothes as your feet started padding down the hallway, “come here.” He whispered, laying back on the bed, you threw your dirty clothes into the corner, not caring enough to do anything else as you crawled in beside him, his large shirt fitting you like a short dress. You pushed your wet hair back and laid your head on his chest, “I love you, Freddie.” You whispered, tracing the pattern on his shirt, “I love you, Y/N.” He sighed in return, giving you an extra squeeze, silently telling you he’d always be here, no matter what.

And it’s true, he was, through all the funeral planning, through both your mother and your own breakdowns, he sat between you too at the funeral, you curled into his side, well he held your moms hand tightly, doing his best to comfort you both as your brother spiraled. He did everything you asked him too and then some, you mentioned needing to grocery shopping, and he offered, not giving you the chance to say no, but you went with him, needing to be out of the house, but he did it all. When your sister in law made the executive decision to have your two young nieces at the funeral-something you completely disagreed with-he helped entertain them, play with them, wiped their tears away when your brother was too busy in his own head to notice. Anyone who had seen the two of you doing all this would think it was your own family, and that made your heart break even more as it was the night after the funeral. Your brother and his family staying until the morning before making the four hour drive back to their home, you woke to a soft knock on your door. Freddie was out like a light, and he deserved to be, handling all these emotions by himself, so you carefully slid out of his grip, not noticing how he stirred when you did so. You opened the door and frowned as you saw your oldest niece, who was still only 7 standing in your doorway, her stuffed animal hugged to her chest, and tears littering her cheeks. “Sweetie, are you okay?” You soothed, kneeling down to her height, she shook her head, “mommy and daddy were arguing, I couldn’t sleep.” She explained to you and you had to hold back a sigh at how ridiculous your brother and his wife were. “Can I stay with you and uncle Freddie?” She whimpered, and your heart burst, she’d never called him that before. “Of course.” Freddie called from the bed, making you jump a little, “come on.” You held your hand out, she took it and followed you into the room, you turned your bedside lamp on, knowing she was scared of the dark. She climbed into the bed and instantly looked exhausted as she became sandwiched between you and your longtime boyfriend. He smiled when she pulled his hand to be on her, he kissed the top of her head, and then did the same to you, calming your nerves as you watched her breathing even out and her eyes rest peacefully.

“Uncle Freddie has a nice ring to it.” You whispered, he let out a breathy laugh, glancing down at the peacefully sleeping girl, he adored them, and it never failed to make your heart swell, he fit right in with your family. “It does.” He answered, thinking of how it will become permanent when he proposes to you in the morning.

***

You woke to both of your nieces jumping onto you, you let a groan out dramatically as you got smothered. “Good morning to you too, girls.” You teased, tickling their sides as you looked up to see Freddie in the doorway. “Girls, can you give me and aunt Y/N a minute?” He asked and they nodded, scurrying out of your room, you pushed yourself up in the bed, smiling at your boyfriend. He brought you a cup of coffee and placed it on your nightstand before pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “Good morning.” He whispered, fingers tangled in your messy hair. You smiled, your first genuine smile in almost a week as you took in the man before you, “good morning.” You responded happily, of course your heart still ached, but it was always easier to get through it when Freddie was here. “I don’t know if it’s the right time, and I don’t have a whole speech prepared, but this is just something I feel like I have to do.” He trailed off, going over to his suitcase, you furrowed your brows, watching him mutter to himself before standing triumphantly. The second he turned and you saw the oh so familiar red box, your heart skipped a beat, your eyes welled up with tears, for the first time in a long time, they were for good reasons. Your hands shot to your mouth as he nervously kneeled beside the bed, “yes!” You shrieked out, he shook his head in laughter, “can I ask first baby?” He joked, but you muttered an oh shit before nodding. “Y/N, will you marry me?” He skipped the whole spcheel, and you didn’t need to hear it anyways, just what he’s done for you and your family in the past week has shown how much he loves you. “Yes!” You shrieked out again, nearly tackling him to the ground in a hug, you peppered kisses all over his face before finally landing on his lips, giving him a kiss full of love. “Where’d you find it?” You questioned, you’d been looking for the ring for years, and your dad always said it was in a safe place. Freddie slipped the diamond ring on your finger, and of course, it fit perfectly. You looked up at him through your lashes as he did so, seeing the focus on his face as he did such a simple, life changing task. “Your dad told me where he hid it a few months ago.” Freddie admitted and you couldn’t help but let a laugh fall from your lips, that was so something he would do, “of course he did.”

Taglist: @thathockeygirl @literarycharleton

[jawritter]

The Arrangement

Part 1

Summery: You are a young girl that was raised in a small church in Dallas, TX. One of the only churches left in the state that still practices arranged marriages. When your betrothed ran off to California you thought you'd escape the fate you were trained for ever since a small child. Now upon the death your parents your fate seemed to be inescapable as he's returned, and is ready to take you as his bride.

Book Warnings: Arranged marriage, loss of virginity, smut, unprotected sex, angst, language, suicide attempt, battles with anxiety, struggles with mental illness, age gap (about 11 years), I think that’s it, chapters will have warnings of their own!

Chapter Warnings: Grief, dealing with the death of parents, talk of arranged marriage, some language probably? I think that’s it really.

Word Count: 1140

A/N: This book is a book about Christian and church based arranged marriages, I would like to take this moment to say that I DO NOT have ANYTHING against the Chirstian faith, and mean absolutely no harm to anyone! Especially Jensen’s family! This is a complete work of fiction, and should be treated as such!

Beta’d by the amazing @deanwanddamons who was awesome enough to do all this for me! It was a lot of work, and she deserves all the praise for it!!

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Want More? Check Out My Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***SERIES MASTERLIST***

Looking around at the boxes and items that are stacked haphazardly around the room full of all your childhood memories, you can't help but take a deep breath to try and steady yourself, doing all you could to ward off all the memories that threaten to flood in and invade your emotions.

Like a damn on the brink of breaking, little sprinkles of water filled with memories drip down the concrete walls that you've built up in your mind, wetting the cement and changing its color to a much darker one. Each one leaves it's trail of pain as it goes down to join the pool waiting for it at the bottom of the dam.

At any given moment it could break, letting lose a flood that would surly overflow and destroy everything in its wake. 

That's where your mind was right now. 

Trying it's best to hold off all the memories, just long enough to do the task at hand.

It was threatening to devastate you, to overtake you, but you held it back.  It was working so far, but barely . You needed to get the job done.

Pulling the packing tape over the box that you had been filling with pictures and nick nacks  that once lined the living room walls, you placed it with the others. 

"Last one" you tell yourself, stacking it with the others that lined the wall.

Standing back, you take a look around the room. The carpet still showed indents of the furniture  that stood there for so many years, but were now gone.

If you looked hard enough you could see the square outlines where pictures, and a clock once hung on the wall, permanently marking their spot over the span of time that it was there.

Shaking back the ache in your chest, you walk room to room in your parents small little house, making sure there is nothing left to box up. Nothing remaining that would be left behind.

As you slip from room to room  the silence feels deafening. The atmosphere was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. 

You blink hard to hold back the tears that threaten to fall down your face. In your mind you know this was the last time you'd ever walk down this hall.  You thought back to the millions of trips you'd made as a child, and throughout your adult life.

You should have treasured it more. 

The sound of the TV playing Jeopardy in the living room, the smell of that morning's breakfast, or whatever meal was being prepared to be served; the sound of your mother singing to herself old gospel hymns as you got closer to the kitchen.

You would have stopped and just enjoyed the things that you once thought were mundane. The things you took for granted. 

Now they were the things you missed the most.

Walking into the kitchen, the table was no longer there, and the room stood empty of everything that wasn’t an appliance of some sort. 

It was once the life of this old house. Where your mother and her friends would gather with their coffee cups, and little cakes that your mother would bake, laughing and gossiping away.

It was just silence and emptiness now. 

Nothing. 

It was like this house itself had died along with your parents. There was a light gone from it that nothing could ever replace. Nothing could ever revive. It was permanent.

"Ms. Y/L/N?” Pastor Burton is waiting outside in the SUV. “Whenever you're ready to leave." said the young assistant pastor. Everyone jokingly called him Peewee  since he had such a striking resemblance to Peewee Herman.

"I'll be ready in just a moment Bro. Charles. Ask him to allow me to turn off everything, and lock it up for the movers tomorrow, and I'll meet the two of you there."

With that, he only nods and turns to go. 

This was such a difficult situation that no one really was wanting to push you, or make you feel like you were being rushed. That you were thankful for. This wasn't how all this was supposed to happen, but here you are. Now you just have to deal with it.

"Bro. Charles?" you call out, just as the young man's foot hits the landing leading to the front door of your childhood home. 

"Yes?"

"Is he here? In Dallas?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. 

All the emotions you had been holding back since you followed the black caskets of your mother and father out of your family church were threatening to spill over, the dam more than ready to break. Still you held them back.

"He's waiting at the church with his father. He said to take your time. He knows this is difficult for you."

You just nod your head, your heart in your throat. Charles leaves you to your thoughts as you begin to turn the remaining lights off in the house.

It was arranged long before you were born. When you were just a child, he married her. 

Now, just in time it seems, he's returned home and said he's ready to take his place as your husband; like was intended all those years ago, less than 24 hours after your mother and father passed away in a horrible car accident. 

Leaving you alone.

"It's the Lord's way of fixing things. He sent Jensen home for you just when he knew you'd need him." Pastor Burton had told you.

This isn't the way you'd pictured your wedding day. Not with this much grief and pain. It felt more like a funeral all over again. 

The death of your freedom. To be given completely over to a rich man that you didn't even know.A man that was meant to be your husband, but turned his back on you all those years ago. Now he was back to claim you as his own. 

There was nothing you could do to stop it, and honestly where the hell would you go? You had nothing and no one left. Just Jensen, the man that in less than two hours would be your husband, not only in the law of the state of Texas, but also in the eyes of God.

Closing the door to your childhood home, you lock it. Standing in the pouring Texas spring rain, you  press your forehead against the door of your childhood home one last time.

"Goodbye Mom, goodbye Dad." you whisper as you push yourself off the door, your heart tearing into two pieces. 

A part going with you, a part staying there on the doorstep.

You make your first steps toward the unknown, and the black SUV that waits for you just beyond your driveway.

"This is it. There's no turning back now."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @lyarr24 @amandamdiehl @deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @lyss-dw79 @magssteenkamp @lemondropirwin @squirrelnotsam @hobby27 @spnbaby-67 @mrsjenniferwinchester @defenderrosetyler @screechingartisancashbailiff @thecreatiivecorner  @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624 @busy-bee-angel-misska @justanotherwinchester @brilovesdeanwinchester @idksupernatural

[glassbxttless]

Hi! Just here to remind you that this is an AU and Han isn’t actually a piece of shit like I’m making him out to be in here (:

This is also the final part in this little piece of the AU. I might start expanding it though (: (I’m sorry if it makes y’all sad. Just putting Matty through it /: )

Matt Solo x Reader

Part Three

Word Count: 1,807

Warnings: mentions of child abuse, abuse, swearing

You’re awake before Matt is, Randy’s still asleep on the futon and Ben isn’t in the room. You climb down off the bunk bed and your thighs are sticky from the night before. And you’re searching for the bathroom to clean up just a little before you face Han and Leia for the day.

Once you settle yourself into the restroom and wash up a bit, you instantaneously hear the yelling, the skin against skin slap. “Jesus fucking Christ— I just woke up.” Matt’s voice is gravely. “Can I eat something before I get your bitch fit, Han?”

And then everything goes quiet for a while. Matt’s never called his father by his first name to his face. He grabs the orange juice from the fridge, Ben is smoking a cigarette on the back stoop. Leia is stunned by the exchange between her husband and youngest son for a moment. You’re standing in the hall, just watching Matt pour himself a glass and takes a drink. He isn’t even wearing his glasses at this point. His face is bright red on one part of his cheek.

You pick the glasses up off of the ground, noticing the crack in the lenses, and walk towards him, handing them over quietly. “Do you wanna leave?” You ask him quietly as you slip them onto his face. He flinches just a bit, the stinging in his cheek is inevitable.

“Not yet. Got some shit to figure out this weekend.” He mumbles as he downs the rest of the glass. “I won’t hit him back.” You tuck a strand of his hair back and take a look at his cheek. “I’m fine, Sunny. Happens a lot.”

“He hit you?” You ask quietly and he just tips his head back and steps away to join Ben on the stoop, asking for a cigarette.

You take a deep breath as Leia looks at the boys on the stoop. “Does that really happen often?” You ask her as she starts cooking breakfast.

“Unfortunately.” She says quietly, “hasn’t done it in so long… I thought they were doing better.” She sighs.

“He doesn’t smoke at home.” You point out and move closer to offer your help with breakfast.

“Being around his dad and Ben does that to him.” She says softly as she starts frying up the bacon. You cut a potato into small pieces. Matt was upset as soon as he woke up that morning. Getting the shit smacked outta him when he walks into the living room for having sex under his roof. He’d gotten a good one in too, his face was still sore.

“I didn’t tell him.” Ben says softly as he flicks his cigarette out. “Guess he heard.” They’d been sitting together quietly, unsure of what to say. They’d each gotten their fair share of slaps and punches. They’d also gotten their fair share in. But Matt was almost thirty now, he wasn’t seventeen anymore. He wasn’t about to punch his dad's lights out for slapping him. He had a lot more shit to deal with and it’d definitely be a lot harder than he was intending.

“I don’t care, honestly.” Matt flicks the ashes away and takes another long pull from his own cigarette. “I’ll fuck my fiancée wherever I wanna fuck her. I’ll do it in his fucking bed next time. I don’t care.” He shrugs again. “I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for Sunny wanting to meet you guys. Woulda went another fucking year not talking to him.” He puts the cigarette out against the concrete and places the butt down, rubbing over his face.

Ben sighs and pulls the spare pair of glasses from his jacket pocket, handing them over to him. “Here. Shouldn’t be looking through cracked lenses.” The silver frames are shaped a bit different from the usual gold pair he wears, but the prescription is right and he’d do anything to get that giant line out of his vision. “Keep your glasses and Randy’s contacts on me, in case you need them.” He says softly.

Matt almost smiles as he exchanges the glasses. “Thank you.” He says softly.

Ben nudges his shoulder, “he’s just mad he isn’t getting laid.” Matt laughs softly and smiles, glancing at his hands. “I’m sorry. For what I did before.” Ben says quietly. “I don’t have any excuses for it— but I am sorry… and I’m really glad to see you happy.”

“Thank you.” Matt says softly and wrings his hands a bit. Both boys turn their heads when Leia opens the door, smiling sadly.

“Matthew? Let’s take a look at that, huh?” She says quietly as she moves past them to crouch in front of them.

“Mom, I’m fine.” He says softly. He may have always been a little upset that his mother never left him after he first hit Randy in one of his rage fits. “Barely hit me.” He lies as Leia looks him over.

“Don’t lie to your mama.” She says quietly as you step out to check on Matt as well. You were ready to get the weekend over, to go home. And you wouldn’t ever ask Matt to come here again, if he didn’t want to. “I’m sorry that he did that.” And that flipped a switch in Matt’s brain, one that couldn’t ignore what his mother let happen to them.

“You’re only sorry that you stayed with him.” Matt says and pushes her hands away a bit. “I’m twenty-nine and you’re still kissing his ass.” You bite your lip gently and walk forward to place your fingers against his bare shoulder.

“Matty? Be nice.”

“I don’t have to be nice to anyone here.” Matt snaps, his eyes are filling with tears and his chest is tight. “You and Randy are the only two people who haven’t fucked me over in one way or another.” Ben sits there awkwardly, you wrap Matt in your arms as Leia looks at him genuinely hurt. “I didn’t want to come here.” His voice is shaking. Almost thirty years of holding it all in and he’s breaking down in your arms. “I didn’t want to see any of you.”

You press kisses into his hair and ask Ben and Leia both to give you a minute.

Ben obliges and pulls Leia back into the house. Randy catches sight of them coming back inside and raises an eyebrow. “Everything okay?” And Leia just shakes her head.

Matt cries, pressing his face against your chest. And you aren’t sure if you’ve ever really seen him cry since you’ve been together. Matt hid his vulnerability so well, replaced it with anger, did his best to be better for you. You didn’t need anyone that wasn’t able to handle himself. “Let it out.” You whisper into his hair and gently run your nails up and down his back. “We can go home.” You say to him quietly. “And we don’t have to come back.”

Matt takes a few deep breaths and presses a deep kiss into the skin of your chest. “I should say something…” he wipes his eyes and you take in the appearance of the different frames. “I love you so much… but please, don’t ask me to come back here again.” His voice is quiet and you just nod.

“Go get dressed, Matty. I’ll drive us home.” She says quietly as you help him stand. And when you go inside and hear Han say something about Matt crying like a little bitch. You’re the one that loses your shit. “Excuse me?” You cock an eyebrow up as you push Matt forward to his bedroom. He’s so used to being the one in charge. The one that deals with your bullshit, but here he was so vulnerable and you are sticking up for him. “He’s allowed to cry. Especially when he has to deal with this bullshit. You should all be thankful he even agreed to come here because all you’ve done is treat him like shit.” You're pointing at Han now.

Matt re-emerges from the room with a t-shirt on now and his backpack pulled onto his back. His hair is disheveled and his face is splotchy. But he’s spent. He’s ready. He looks at his family quietly and takes them in. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be in the same room as them all again. Not until there’s a funeral.

And he thinks that maybe he should try with his brothers more, forgive his parents, and keep his distance from them. He needs his own boundaries. He needs to learn how to deal with his own emotions in a proper way. “Sunny.” He snaps his fingers and points to the spot beside him. You’d be offended if he didn’t wrap his arm around your shoulders and take a deep breath. “Ben, Randy, dinner at my apartment on Saturday?”

Randy nods, smiling a bit. “Of course… you need help with your stuff?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Matt nods and passes his bag to him before looking at his parents. He leaves your side for just a moment to pull his mom into a tight hug. He’d continue to call her and maybe in the future he’d be okay with inviting her over for dinners too. He kisses her head and smiles a bit. He even moves to hug his dad, knowing in his heart that he really doesn’t want to see him again. And he smiles tightly when Han rubs his head and says I love you, kid. He just nods.

You carry your own bag outside to where Randy was putting Matt’s into the car. “He doesn’t deserve this.” Randy says to you quietly. “He’s smart. He gotta outta here for a reason.” He shuts the back door and turns to look at you, “thank you for taking care of him, you know? He’s too smart for himself. Can’t take care of shit.” You chuckle. “And make sure he knows we’re here for him.”

Matt walks outside and heads straight for the car. You thank Randy quietly and climb into the driver's seat. Ben steps out and raps on the window with his knuckle until Matt rolls it down. And Ben offers Matt and Randy both another cigarette which they all enjoy. Ben smiles, “hey. We’re alright.” He shrugs. “You’re alright, Matt. Doesn’t matter what happens.”

“Still our baby brother.” Randy chirps with the cigarette between his lips and Matt turns a deep shade of red.

There was still so much you didn’t know about Matt’s family. But this one night— not even full weekend— has shown you why Matt stays so distant. And you reach over to take a long draw from Matt’s cigarette which has you all laughing. “Dinner on Saturday?” You confirm with the three of them who all just nod.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

*

*

@sacklerscumrag @mrs-zimmerman @miraclesabound @fizzywoohoo @roanniom @thepriceofstars @2000andwhat @loganluckylover @themuseic

[fuckingfinwions]

Anaire first heard about her family’s fracture from the potter.

Well, that wasn’t strictly true,. She heard about Feanor’s death the same day as everyone else, it was the only thing anyone was talking about.

She didn’t attend the funeral, as she felt no sorrow at his death, but her cook brought the news. Apparently, “the king’s reclusive brother” had been at the funeral, his first formal appearance since Feanor took the throne. Maedhros’s coronation was two days later, and Anaire scrambled to get an invitation. He would be addressing the whole city afterwards, a great speech in the town square, but she had no interest in that. What she cared about was the ceremony for the council, in front of a few hundred nobles. Unless Maedhros wished to pretend Nolofinwe was dead, her husband would have to formally cede his claim the throne. She would see him, hear his voice for the first time in decades.

Still, Anaire was cautious. Argon, for all he wished to meet his father and siblings, was not allowed to attend. She sent him out of the city entirely, to a cousin of her mother who lived halfway up the Pelori. Though none but her and Nolofinwe knew the truth, the resemblance would be unmistakable if they were in the same room. Anaire herself dressed finely but not extravagantly, in hopes of blending into the crowd, and promised herself that she would not cry out no matter what horrors she saw.

After all that effort, she only saw Nolofinwe for less than half an hour, across a crowded room. Anaire recognized the robes he wore; the had been sewn for Aredhel’s first begetting day. She supposed they had been in storage all this time, too fine for a servant but too festooned with his emblem and Finwe’s for anyone else to wear. He stepped forward, and she held her breath, not wanting to miss a word out of her husband’s lips - and hoping, perhaps, that he’d finally denounce his tormentor.

But Nolofinwe only said “I, Nolofinwe Arakano, son of Finwe Noldoran, acknowledge Maitimo Neylafinwe as the rightful King of the Noldor. King Nelyafinwe inherits his right from King Curufinwe, who inherited it from King Finwe the Wise. Myself and my house have no claim on the throne, nor shall we attempt to usurp the proper order.”

Nolofinwe left the stage, and rather than returning to his seat, seemed to be walking out the hall entirely. Anarie wondered if it could really be so simple. Was this all Maedhros demanded? Could she have her family back under one roof tonight, as long as they avoided politics for the rest of their days? She gathered her purse and started to stand up, ready to follow her husband.

Nolofinwe saw her though, and shook his head sadly. He glanced towards the doorway ahead of him, and Anaire saw that it was flanked by royal guards, one of whom already was unclipping something from his belt. Nolofinwe mouthed “Them, not me,” and went through the door, the guard reaching for his wrists and pulling him around the corner.

Anaire sat through the rest of the coronation without paying it much attention. If she paid too much attention to Maedhros, she would think about how he could’ve freed her family and had not; murderously glaring at the new king would draw suspicion. Instead she thought about Nolofinwe’s words. Presumably he was referring to their children? Had he somehow traded their freedom for his own? Or were they still captive, and he was begging her to save her efforts for them?

Anaire thought on this over the next week. She moved back into the house in the city center, as it was the only place her family would know to look for her, rather than the smaller home on the outskirts she shared with Argon. She waited for an piece of news or gossip, but there was no more about the secondary royal family than there had ever been. There were rumors about the sons of Feanor, that King Maedhros had stripped all of them from rank and then immediately given them titles. But the titles seemed to be fewer than he had brothers, rather than more as she would expect if Nolofinwe had bought status for their children.

So eventually, Anaire went to the pottery shop on the far side of town. The owner of the shop knew Aredhel was Anaire’s daughter, but had flatly refused to so much as let them go to dinner together, for fear of Feanor’s anger.

“She’s not apprenticing with me anymore. Said King Maedhros didn’t want her in the city, so she was going to Valmar. Apparently some Vanya named Elenwe was going to take her in. I don’t know why; there are a dozen better potters in the city, and someone who can clean a house can’t be hard to find either.”

The potter looked at Anaire to see how she took the news. She had never asked in detail why her student hated the palace so, but it hadn’t been hard to guess, sitting gingerly on her return and with rope marks when she rolled up her sleeves and bite marks when she tied back her hair. The potter hoped that this Elenwe would be kinder, but she very much expected Aredhel would have more of the same, and had no intention of discussing it with Aredhel’s mother.

However, Anaire was practically beaming. “Elenwe of the Vanyar? Well, then I simply must visit her, it’s been too long since I last traveled west.”

Anaire managed to compose herself for long enough to walk home, but she was overjoyed. Elenwe was Turgon’s wife, and Anaire had met her a few times. (Never with Turgon present, his absences form the city were far too sporadic for her to plan around.) Elenwe would look after Aredhel, even if there was no useful place for her in the household. And if Aredhel had mentioned Elenwe, that meant she was hoping Anaire would find her, that she thought it was safe to do so.

(Perhaps, even, there would be more of Anaire’s children there. Turgon for his wife and Fingon to lead the way on their journey. She had not seen either of them since they were children.)

- Anaire tells Argon it’s safe to come down from the hills

- They wait a month in case Maedhros is having Aredhel’s route watched

- Argon and Anaire travel to Valmar

- Introductions! Aredhel and Elenwe recognize Anaire. Anaire can kind of recognize Turgon.

- Argon is a surprise to everybody. Aredhel had relayed the “guess what we have another kid” message from Anaire to Nolo, but it was all couched in metaphor so Feanor couldn’t find out. “Tell your father I miss him very much, and the seasons seem to fly by without him to mark them even as the years drag on. It seems only yesterday it was sunny June, but now it’s dreary November and winter will be cold alone.” June and November were the months Anaire had bad morning sickness with Turgon and Fingon.

- Aredhel assumed this was some sort of code, but she’s not looking for more info about her family’s sex lives than she’s forced to know.

- Idril is around 5 or so years old. Argon is like sixteen. (using equivalent human ages)

- After initial introductions, Elenwe takes Idril to play in another room, so that the long lost families can reconnect

“So, how much does Argon know?” Turgon said to Anaire, who is apparently his mom?

“I’ve discussed the appropriate things for someone his age.”

Aredhel: “You realize that neither of us knows what that means right?”

Turgon nodded. “Elenwe and I decided that she would make all decisions about discussing sex, sexual development, and healthy relationships with Idril. Partially because I didn’t expect to see my daughter often, but also because my understanding of age appropriate information is very, very lacking.”

Argon: “I know that you two, and Dad and Fingon, were forced to work in the palace and not allowed to leave. I also know that you were - hurt - and that some of the ways you were corruptions of the marriage act.”

Aredhel: “Most of the ways we were hurt were sexual. And the groping wasn’t actually painful, but I sure as fuck didn’t want it.”

Argon: “I was being circumspect for your sake. I know what sex is, and you don’t have to talk to me like I’m a little kid.”

Aredhel looked at Anaire, who nodded in permission.

“I assume your sex ed came from a different direction than mine did. ‘You know that thing the King does to Dad? If it’s between a man and woman rather than two men, babies can happen! Sometimes it feels good, sometimes it feels painful, and sometimes how good it feels is just another way you’re being twisted up to serve them. Also, the king started doing it to your big brother, so you’re being sent away from your family in hopes that this horrible sex thing will happen to you less.’ But I guess it worked, in that the potter at least was able to explain how women prevent babies in case any of them got the idea to try.”

Anaire was shocked. “I’ve never heard you mention this before. That was why you were apprenticed?”

Ardehel: “Yeah, Dad said I shouldn’t talk about sex with anyone outside the palace. They’d be horrified and try to do something, but they wouldn’t be able to actually help. Then King Feanor would be mad we told, and take his temper out on us, and honestly the difference between him not caring if we enjoyed sex and him trying to make it hurt was pretty fucking big. So I kept quiet. It seemed fair to tell you the broad strokes of what was happening to your kids and husband, but knowing details wouldn’t help.”

Anaire: “I wouldn’t cal the fact that you were in danger of being raped at age twelve a detail.”

Turgon: “She wasn’t. None of us were actually, Feanor didn’t keep very close track of us but dd ask Dad when our begetting days were, and get around to using us for the first time about a month after we came of age. I think Fingon had it worse honestly, he didn’t see it coming.”

Argon: “What do you mean, did he not know Feanor raped people?”

Turgon: “We knew he raped Dad, we walked in on them often enough in the middle of our chores. But he mostly ignored us when we were kids, other than making sure we were around to threaten Dad with. None of us expected that to change.”

Aredhel: “But once Feanor started paying attention, he didn’t forget. Fingon told me later that Feanor used his mouth ten times in that first month.”

Argon: “Wait, Feanor used his mouth - do you mean Feanor kissed Fingon?”

Turgon: “No, Feanor didn’t go in for the fake romance. He made had Fingon suck his cock, and came in it rather than in his ass. Which is generally less painful than unprepared anal sex at least.”

Anaire: “And Fingon and your father are still stuck there? That’s terrible!”

Aredhel shrugged. “I mean, Feanor’s dead, and now there’s only two people allowed to use them instead of eight. It’s better than it was.”

Turgon nodded. “Maedhros is one of the better ones who could have ended up in charge. He goes for his own pleasure rather than pain or humiliation, and he prefers sex in bedrooms - in beds, even.”

Argon, who has not learned nearly enough tact yet: “As opposed to-”

Turgon: “Busy hallways. Up against the wall. Down in the dirt in the stable-yard - or in the woods. Inside a moving carriage. In the middle of the room with nothing to brace yourself on, but not allowed to even fall to your knees.”

Argon: “Is it hard to stay upright during sex?”

Anaire: “Yes, and you don’t need more details.”

Aredhel: “Yeah, he presumably won’t be punished for not knowing them. So Argon, what do you do?”

Argon: “I don’t have a particular craft that calls to me, so I’m still doing general studies.”

Aredhel: “Which is what? I think some of the normal servant kids had education past age ten, but not most of them. Elves are smart enough that you can be literate and know the basics of history and all the math that’s practical by then.”

[stardust-walker]

High Hopes: Chapter 19

Previous Chapters:  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

word count:2564

___________________________________________

Julian hurried into the doorway; worry written all over his face as he brushed past Lori. "Anything," Glenn questioned the younger man.

Julian nervously chewed his bottom lip for a moment before he shook his head. "Nothing. My car's gone, though. Could've been him," he glanced over his shoulder at Lori. The brunette woman left the doorway without another word. He felt hurt that Hershel had up and left. Julian understood Hershel being upset, but he couldn't believe him; to just leave his daughters there after what had just happened? He placed a hand on Maggie's shoulder before he turned and exited the room.

It felt wrong to be going through the old farmer's things. It felt even more wrong when Shane lifted up the flask off the dresser and waved it around, "Seems like he found an old friend."

Julian let out a heavy sigh. "That was my grandfather's flask. He gave it to my dad when he died," Maggie explained.

"I didn't take Hershel for a drinker," Rick sounded a little perplexed.

Maggie turned on her heel, "He gave it up on the day I was born. He didn't even allow liquor in the house."

Julian's heart sank as he realized where the old man had gone. "What's the bar in town," Rick picked up on it too.

"Hatlin's," Maggie answered, "he practically lived there in his drinking days."

Julian cast a quick glance at Maggie before he spoke up, "You get me a map and I'll show you exactly where it's at. Best way to get there too," he fidgeted as Glenn spoke up.

"I think I've seen it before. It's by the pharmacy, right?"

Julian nodded his head. "Yeah," he cleared his throat as Maggie laid the map out on top of the small vanity. "You're gonna wanna take this side road if the main ones are blocked. I know you've only been getting there on a horse, Mags," he glanced at his friend as she nodded her head. "You can get around onto the main street from here," he pointed his finger on the map, "Should take you right up to the bar."

Rick clapped the younger man on the shoulder, "Got it. Thank you. Let's go, Glenn." He nodded at the Korean man and Julian's eyebrows shot up.

"What? No," Maggie protested. Julian frowned as he watched her try to argue, only to be stopped by Rick's promise to bring him back. As Rick exited the room, he motioned for Julian to follow.

He hesitated for a moment before he followed the sheriff down the hallway. "I wanna go with you," Julian started.

"No, too many people," Rick shook his head and turned to face him. "I need you here. You stay; take care of Beth, make sure Maggie's okay. You stay with your people. I'll make sure we bring Hershel back," Rick insisted. There was something in his voice that made Julian not even want to argue. Julian slipped back into the room with Beth to keep an eye on her as Lori began to argue with her husband in the hallway.

~

Dove laid in her tent and stared up at the roof of it. Carol wasn't back yet; she'd been gone when they got back from the funeral. It had already been a few hours, but she felt like she had to get moving. Her whole body felt heavy as she lifted herself up into a sitting position. Before she left the tent, she pulled her hair up into a ponytail and tried to ignore how bad her hands still shook. She peeked her head out first and only spotted T-Dog sitting outside of his tent.

T-Dog lifted his head up at the sudden rustle from the tent. It was silent between the two friends as Dove slid out of the tent, only to sit down right in front of the opening. Her hazel eyes closed as she allowed the light breeze to sweep over her face. Her thin fingers wrapped around the crystal that still hung from her neck. "Hey," her eyes snapped open at the voice. T was knelt beside her now. "You alright," he questioned and within a second, he's flinched at his own words.

Dove let out a short laugh, "Not sure I'll ever be alright again. I'm not much use layin' around cryin' all day. Might as well get out and do something." Dove shrugged her shoulders as she looked around. "You seen Daryl or Carol around?"

T-Dog just shook his head, "Haven't seen 'em. Daryl fucked off after the funeral, you saw that. Carol…haven't seen her since before in the RV." He placed an arm around his friend's shoulders and pulled her into a one-armed hug. "Don't worry. I'm sure they'll both be fine. Still not sure why you're worried about Dixon though."

Dove shook her head. "Not worried. Just don't want anyone else dyin' today," she blinked back tears before she raised a hand to wipe her eyes. T-Dog studied her face for a moment before he patted her arm.

"Alright, no more questions then," T-Dog mumbled.

Dove let out a snort of laughter, "Well thank you for taking pity on my with your interrogation."

It fell silent before there was a sound of movement behind them. The two turned to look and Dove's heart sank as Carol shuffled her way towards them. T rose from his spot and departed with a nod. Tension was thick in the air between the two sisters as they stared at each other. Without a word, Carol lowered herself to sit next to her younger sister on the ground. Carol's arm was around her now as Dove turned and wrapped both of her arms around her sister. In a weird way, it felt good to not have to grieve alone.

~

Inside the house, Julian felt like a caged animal. Maggie was upset about Beth and worried about Glenn. Beth had a fever and just seemed to be getting worse. What made it worse was there was nothing he can do about it. Jimmy walked out of the room and Julian perked up slightly. The younger boy sighed and took the hat off his head. "Still nothing. Maggie keeps tryin' to talk to her but…" Jimmy shrugged his thin shoulders.

Julian ran a hand through his curly hair as he shook his head, "We can't just stand around with our thumbs up our asses. There has to be something we can do, right?"

Jimmy looked uncomfortable, "I think the best thing we can do is wait around for Hershel."

"It's been hours, Jimmy. Hours. Who knows when they're gonna get back if nothing's happened to them yet," Julian lowered his voice as he stepped closer to the young man. "Now Rick left me in charge of the house. The least you can do is get your girlfriend a wet rag for her forehead. Don't want her to keep burnin up while we sit here just thinkin of something."

Jimmy frowned; his light eyebrows furrowed as he stared at Julian. Then he turned and stomped off towards the kitchen. Maggie stepped out of the room. "You gotta go easy on him, Jules." Julian pursed his lips as he stared down the hallway. "Don't think Beth would like it too much if she knew you were bein' mean to her boyfriend."

The corner of Julian's mouth ticked up in a small smile before he turned to face the slightly older woman. "Sorry," Julian frowned once more. "Guess I'm just a little stressed."

Maggie placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Sit with Beth. I'll go make sure Jimmy's following the rules and…I'll get you some water." She sounded nervous as she walked off down the hallway. Even though Rick had told him to look out for them, he knew deep down that Maggie was in charge. There was no reason to argue with her as he walked through the door and sat down on the bed across from Patricia. He folded his hands on his lap as he sat there and stared at them for a moment.

He was never a person to really pray, but there was no hurting anyone by starting.

~

Dove didn't really want to eat, and she had a feeling that Carol didn't either, but Carol was always good at hiding things. She hid it pretty well as she helped Patricia in the kitchen as Dove tried her best to hide how she just wanted to cry from spending time with Carl in the living room as they waited.

Julian stifled a laugh as Shane got scolded by Patricia for cussing in the house. "Tell 'em, Pat," he whispered under his breath as he walked behind the older woman to take his seat.

"Lori, dinner," Carol called into the hallway.

"She's not in there," Maggie answered almost instantly.

Dove's eyes narrowed as she looked around the room. "Where is she?"

"Carl, when's the last time you saw your mom," Shane asked in an almost too calm manner.

"This afternoon," Carl responded as clear panic began to sink in. Dove placed a hand on top of Carl's head as she shot a nervous look across the table at Dale.

"She went after them," Dale inquired.

"No one said that," Shane stood, "Nobody panic. Gotta be around here somewhere."

Dove pulled back her arm as Carl stood to follow Shane. It made her uneasy how the little boy followed Shane around like a little shadow. Part of her didn't feel like it was safe.

Julian stood up from his seat and pointed to Jimmy. "Go with Patricia. Help with Beth if she needs it, I'm going to help look for Lori." Before anyone could say anything, the young man was out of the room and running off into the night.

Dove rose slowly from her seat as she reached a hand out to Carol, "Listen, I'm sure she's…"

"I'm gonna go find Daryl, maybe he's seen her," Carol turned and was gone before Dove could even finish a thought.

Dove let out a heavy sigh and buried her face in her hands. Frustration weighed heavy on her as she lowered a hand and punched the table. "Damn it," she shouted. A sound from the doorway startled her as she turned and saw Patricia peek into the room. "Ah, sh…oot. Sorry," Dove trailed off as she made eye contact with the woman. It was just a second, then she looked away and followed the path her sister had just taken to leave the house.

Upon hearing about Daryl not going when Lori had asked him too and how this had possibly made her go on her own, her frustration grew. "What a motherfucker," Dove hissed through gritted teeth.

Dale raised a hand at her, "Now calm down. All of us fightin' isn't going to do anything to make sure Lori gets back."

The brunette shook her head before she trudged off back to her tent. Dale was right, but she didn't exactly want to give him the satisfaction of being told that he was right. Despite all of the respect she had for the old man, she was too angry right now to think straight. She was still mad at herself. She was frustrated at Lori for not asking for more help before she left on her own. More than anything, she was angry about Daryl as he had apparently decided to undo all the good he had done over the past few weeks in a matter of hours.

It wasn't too long later that Carol returned back to the tent. Dove picked up on the fact that something wasn't right and followed her inside. "Hey what's wrong?" Carol just sniffled in response. "Carol…Talk to me. What happened?"

Carol lifted her head up and wiped her eyes. "Daryl…I went to check on him again." Dove's stomach turned. "He's right. It's my fault Sophia's gone. All I had to do was watch her and I couldn't even do that," Carol's voice cracked and something inside Dove cracked right along with it. All the anger she felt that day boiled over and she saw red.

She heard Carol asking where she was going as she stormed out of the tent and stomped off in the direction she'd seen her return from earlier. Her hands balled up into fists as she drew closer to a fire. Daryl stood up from his spot by the fire as he caught sight of her as she approached. Any chance he had of starting an argument left as she grabbed one of the rabbits off the line he had it on and whipped it at him. It missed her target but hit him dead center in his chest. "What the fuck's wrong with you," Daryl snarled at her.

Dove pointed a finger at him, "I should be asking you that! You get your rocks off on being a fucking bully or something?"

Daryl took a step closer. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about," he snapped at her and waved his hand in an attempt to dismiss her.

"Oh, I think I know exactly what I'm talking about," Dove's voice got louder as she began to follow him through his small camp. "You feel guilty about what happened so you're taking it out on the easiest target. That makes you a fucking bully." She hissed at him as she stepped in between him and his tent.

"Out of my way," Daryl shouted as he turned on his heel and walked towards the fire again.

Dove let out an angry huff as she stalked after him again. "What? You can't handle it when someone gives it back to you? If I find out that you hit my sister or somethin, I swear to every God that I'm going to push your ass into that fire, Daryl Dixon." She stopped as she came back into the small circle around the fire.

"Didn't do anything like that. The hell you think I am," Daryl actually seemed offended by her words and it made her pause. She opened her mouth in response but couldn't get the words out as Daryl spoke. His voice was lower, but it was obvious he was still in a rage. "All you both had to do was keep an eye on her."

"You think I don't know that? You think Carol doesn't know that? Who gave you the right to say anything like that," Dove pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. Quiet fell over the small camp as Dove reached beneath her shirt. It took her a few seconds, but the second small chain around her neck was off and in her hand. "Here," she frowned as she tossed it at his feet. "Maybe it'll help you find your fucking sense of compassion," she spared one last look at the redneck before she walked back off into the darkness.

Daryl waited until he was sure she was gone before he leaned down to pick up the chain from the ground. He squinted in the dark, the thing glinted in the firelight as he held it up to his face. He let out a grunt before he kicked the discarded rabbit the woman had thrown at him to the side. It was no good anymore, anyway.

 ----

@crossbowking​ @momc95​ @chaotic-gary-king-stan​

[stratus-skye07]

Suga Craze [Eight] | Suga

[Seven] [Masterlist]

The past few days have been boring and just sad. Yoongi has yet to let me leave the house. He told Jin to make sure that I was excused from work. On top of being stuck in my room, I had a babysitter watching my every move. At first, Jungkook kept watch, then J-Hope and so on as they began to take shifts. Going to the bathroom alone wasn’t even allowed. They had to call Yoongi to watch me use the bathroom and if he wasn’t available then I had to hold it in.

“Here’s your food, noona.” Jimin slides the tray of food towards me on the coffee table.

If I weren’t pregnant, I wouldn’t be eating at all but with the baby in mind I think twice about being on a hunger strike.

He lifts up a plastic bag. “I also brought some cookies and stuff if you get any cravings.”

“How’s Suga?” I ask him.

Since locking me away from the outside world, I haven’t seen him around much other than to watch me shower and use the bathroom. Each time he never said a word to me. I was too upset over the current situation that I didn’t bother to talk to him either just to see if he would eventually crack but we’re both too stubborn.

“He’s working really hard to find out what’s going on with EXO. Soon enough he’ll let you off of house arrest.” He reassures me.

I scoff, “House arrest? Don’t you mean suicide watch?”

Jimin looks at his hands, “He doesn’t think you’ll hurt yourself but he doesn’t want to be wrong. He’s even asked for CL’s help and he hasn’t done that in years.”

“Yeah, they seem to understand each other really well.” I say sarcastically.

“It’s not like that, noona. Suga loves you. You were his goal ever since I met him. It may not seem like it but he’s hurting too.”

I sigh, “I could help him if he would just let me. Instead, he locks me away in the tower like Repunzel.”

“What would you do?” He asks.

“I’d go straight to the source myself and confront them. End it once and for all.”

“Do you really think EXO is behind it?”

I shrug my shoulder, “I don’t know how they’re involved but they know something about Hyung-Sik. I intend to find out with or without Suga’s help.”

I stand to leave but Jimin blocks my way out, “Y/N, you can’t leave. You’re carrying my little niece or nephew and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Jimin, don’t make me fight you. You can either step aside or help me.” He looks skeptical but if he truly wants to help me then he should follow my lead. “You helped me once before and I trusted you to take the shot, now I’m asking you to trust me to find out who is behind all this.”

He sighs before nodding, “Okay, I trust you.”

It wasn’t as difficult to sneak out of the penthouse this time around since everyone was out conducting their own investigations to who was plotting against us. Jimin and I drove to EXO’s mansion. I can certainly see why Suho was a runner up in becoming my husband. He’s smart in all aspects of international exports. Hence the extra traveling he’s been doing all round Japan and China.

“Are you sure about this?” Jimin asks before exiting the car.

I nod, “Just follow my lead and everything will go accordingly.”

After going over the plan with Jimin, we approach the gates of EXO’s mansion. It takes but a few seconds for them to open and we’re met with two men at the front door. Two of the same men that came with Suho to my dad’s funeral. They were both fairly tall, wearing black and had numbers etched into their jackets, one looked more alluring and had the number 88 and the other looks serious with the number 94.

“Mrs. Min, please state your business.” Number 88 asks in a kind tone but between the lines it sounded more hostile.

I place my arms on my hips to show some amount of confidence in my presence, “I came to speak with Suho over some private matters. I think he’d be interested to see me about.”

The taller one nods and walks off leaving us with the other. It doesn’t take long for two more members to come out and greet us. “Mrs. Min, my name is Chanyeol and this is Baekhyun.” The tallest member says.

Baekhyun signals for us to enter, “We will take you to see Suho.”

We walk through the grand house past a giant stairway that’s in the center and splits in two different directions. Jimin stayed close behind me keeping his eyes open to the surroundings.

Entering Suho’s office, he was seated at his desk with four of the other members in the room with him. Once I enter, Suho rises to his feet to welcome me into his home.

“Y/N, I have to say that this is a pleasant surprise. Please have a seat.” I take a seat in one of the chairs across from his desk. Jimin stays standing over my shoulder. Suho had his own men stay in the room with him which is going to be a problem so I have to get them out of here in order for my plan to work. “Sehun tells me that you have something important to talk to me about.”

I nod, “I have business to discuss with you but it’s a bit crowded in here to talk to you about it. You see, I’m a little shy.” I point at the four men staring at me.

He smirks, “To be honest Y/N, I’m not only surprised that you would come to me about business but that you’d come without your husband. Why is that?” He tilts his head in curiosity.

I bite my lip, “I can understand. All I can say is that my business with you has nothing to do with Suga if you’re catching my meaning.”

Suho stares at me intently until a smirk appears on his face, “Leave us to talk.”

“Suho.” The one with the cat-like eyes objects.

The other with the cheshire mouth adds, “Excuse us for objecting but we don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone with these two.”

I quickly interject, “If your members truly feel threatened by us then how about just the two of us talk then. That is if you promise to treat Jimin well.” 

Suho nods, “Of course, you’re both guests in my home. Lay, please treat Jimin with respect while you keep him company.”

“Noona,” Jimin objects.

“Jimin,” I stare at him, “I’ll be fine. Please go and wait for me.” I have a much greater chance of doing this alone but I still have to be careful with how I choose to go about this, for Jimin’s sake as well as my baby’s.

The room clears out until it’s just me and Suho left alone in the big office. I stand from my seat and approach his desk. “The room is all ours. You can speak freely now.” He says.

“I have to say I’m in love with your house. So much more classy than ours. It’s almost like kings live here.” I place my hands on the front of his desk and lean forwards to show a little cleavage that has grown to surprise me as well. 

Suho sits up from his seat, “I’m sure you didn’t come all this way just to have a tour of my house. Why don’t you get to the real reason why you’re here.”

“Tell me something, is it true that you wanted to marry me?” I ask.

Suho keeps a straight face, “Yes, I offered to have you as my wife but your father had decided that it wouldn’t be the best idea since I travel a lot. He wanted someone that was going to always be there for you.”

I nod slowly making my way around his desk and take a seat on the edge, “Things have been getting a little rocky between Suga and I. He got mad at me recently and locked me away as punishment. I was so bored. It wasn’t until I started thinking about you and our dance together at the party.” I begin to stroke my fingertips down my chest towards my thighs. Suho’s eyes follow my movement just as I planned.

“Really?” Suho stands from his chair and slowly approaches me, “What about it?”

I take his hand and graze my nails against his palms, “The feeling of your hands on me helped me get through the lonely nights.” I place his hand on my thigh as I open my knees wider to lure him in. “I usually never go against my dad’s judgement but I started thinking maybe he chose the wrong husband for me.”

My seduction was beginning to work as Suho slowly walked into the space between my legs. Once he got close enough I could spot the pistol he had in his waistband. If I could get him just a little closer.

“Believe me when I tell you that I’m not all it’s cracked up to be.” He says through a chuckle.

“Let’s say you’d have a wife. Would you take her with you on your travels?”

He smirks, “If that’s what she wanted, of course I would.”

“Where would you take her?” I lean in to brush my lips against his.

“I’d take her someplace where she can make all the noises from her orgasms and no one would hear it.” He says through a hoarse tone.

“Your wife is gonna be one lucky woman.” Just as swiftly as I got him close to me, I raised the pistol to his jaw. “If you tell me what I want to know, you’ll have a chance in finding her.”

Suho chuckles in disbelief, “I should’ve known it was too good to be true. I have to say you’re the first woman to ever give me blue balls.”

I push the gun deeper into his skin, “You make any sudden movements and I’ll make them red balls just as quick.” I threaten.

“Okay,” he raises his hands. “You have my attention.”

I start asking the questions I want to know, “Hyung-Sik, where is he? How did he survive?”

He looks at me in confusion, “Park Hyung-Sik? Even if he was alive, why would I know where he is?”

“Cut the bullshit! I know that you're behind all this. You killed my dad and you’re trying to take over. You ambushed me and CL the other night. You can’t lie about it. I saw the tattoos that only EXO wears. How did you plan it?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I pull on his collar to shake him, “Quit playing your games! I caught you.”

“I’m being honest. Whatever has been happening to you has nothing to do with me or EXO. I already told you that I have nothing against Bangtan. You say the men that attacked you had the markings of EXO? Which arm did they have it on?”

“What difference does it make?”

He lifts up his left sleeve to show the tattoo, “All of us have it on our left wrists. People often mistake that little fact.” The more I think about it, I realize that it was on the guy’s right arm. That can’t be the only proof he has.

“Let me tell you a little secret. I owed your father my life.” He looks me in the eyes with the most sincerest look. “When EXO arrived on the scene we were treated like shit. No one gave us an ounce of respect to the point where we were hunted for fun along with bounties placed on each of our heads. Three of our own members left when things started to get worse.”

“What does my dad have to do with that?” I ask.

“One night we were surrounded. We were lined up for execution but I offered to give my life in exchange for the rest of the members. They obviously didn’t care to let any of us live so they had me go first. Just when my life was flashing before my eyes, your father came to our aid. He offered to pay them to let us go and when they didn’t, he killed them. Your father took us in and gave us work in order to grow. I meant what I said at his funeral. I have all the respect for him. That’s why I offered to marry you.” Slowly I lowered the pistol away from his face but I still keep it pointed at him.

“Besides,” He adds on, “I’m not the only one you should be interrogating.”

“What are you talking about?”

He shakes his head, “Your best friend, CL, isn’t what she seems.”

“CL? She and Suga have been close for years. Why would she come after me and hurt Suga in the process?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know the details but that day at the party she came to me to talk. She started talking about you to me but in reality she was trying to stir something up between us. She tried to convince me that I was the right choice for a husband.”

“She was instigating you to come after me?” The confusion grew deeper, “Why didn’t you fall for it?”

He nods, “Like I said, I respected your dad’s choice. As much of an honor it would’ve been to marry you, I know that I couldn’t give you the attention you deserve as my wife.”

I begin to take in all this new information he’s giving me but how can I actually believe him?

He smirks, “I can see that you’re still skeptical.” He points at the pistol in my hand, “Would it help if I told you that the gun has been empty this whole time?”

Backing up a few steps, I empty out the gun to find there’s not even a clip inside it. This whole time he knew and he could’ve killed me at any moment but didn’t.

“You’re not the first woman to reach for my gun.” He says jokingly.

I scoff giving his gun back, “Fine, I believe you.”

Suho takes the pistol and places it back into his waistband, “You wanna tell me what’s been going on?”

After clearing the air with Suho, I tell him about all the things that have been happening to me. It feels nice to actually have someone listen to what I’ve been trying to explain to Yoongi. Now that I have the culprit in my sights I have to warn Yoongi about her.

Thinking back on the events, CL was the only one that was with me during the time I was attacked. She saw Hyung-Sik that day but acted like there was no one there to have me believe that I was losing my mind. She continued the charade when we were attacked by, who I thought was EXO, but she once again acted like nothing happened to make everyone turn against me. I was already talking about what I was seeing like a crazy person that she was the only witness to put my information down. Obviously, Yoongi would believe her especially with their history of trust together. I just need to know what she wants from me.

Jimin and I return to the penthouse to find it quiet. Usually if Yoongi has found out that I left while under house arrest he would be turning the city upside down to find me.

“Do you think Suga will believe you?” Jimin asks as we wait in the elevator.

“I don’t but I have to try. CL could be plotting to get rid of both of us by separating us.”

He scoffs, “I would’ve never thought CL would do something like this to Suga. They've been friends for years.”

I nod, “Yeah, well you know that saying. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

Once the elevator doors open, we enter the penthouse door to find Yoongi standing there with his arms crossed. He rushes to approach us but passes me completely and strikes Jimin in the face.

“Yoongi!” I rush to look at Jimin. His lip is bleeding. 

“I trusted you to keep her here and you disobey my order!” He basically roars his anger on Jimin.

I stand between the two, “No, it was my doing. If you wanna blame someone then blame me. Hit me instead. Jimin was only trying to help me.”

“Help you?!” He asks sarcastically.

“Listen to me first, I know who’s been coming after me. I went to talk to Suho and-”

Yoongi’s voice overpowers mine, “Suho! You went to EXO’s mansion? Did you have fun while I was worried to fucking death about you?!”

I wave my hands trying to get my point across before he continues to lecture me, “You’re not listening?! It’s not him that’s been terrorizing me.”

Just as I’m about to tell him everything I spot the members of Bangtan coming from Yoongi’s office along with the woman I’ve been meaning to see.

Storming past Yoongi, I stand face-to-face with CL and my fist also gets to meet her face. Before I could do any more, Namjoon and Jungkook grab me by the arms to pull me away from her. She stands there looking shocked with her hand on her jaw. Jin rushes to her side to take a look at the damage which wasn’t as much as I wanted to cause. She continues the innocent facade.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” Namjoon asks.

“It’s her. She’s the one that’s after us.” I try to fight out of their grip but it’s no use.

Jimin jumps in to help but J-Hope intercepts him and holds him back. “Suga, she’s telling the truth. She’s your wife, you have to at least listen to what she has to say.”

“That’s enough! You’re a part of the problem, Jimin. You’ve been egging her on about everything. I’m making sure you two stay away from each other.” Just then J-Hope manages to drag Jimin back into the elevator and separate the only person that knows the truth.

“Yoongi!” I yell at his back, “Yoongi, look at me.” He doesn’t but I can see that he has a pained look on his face seeing me in this state.

CL approaches to pat Yoongi on the back which enrages me, “Suga, I think the issue is only getting worse. My offer still stands to take her to my safe house until she gets a better hold of herself.”

“Yoongi, don’t listen to her. That’s what she wants. To separate us. She’s trying to get rid of me. She’s helping Hyung-Sik get back at us.”

Yoongi finally turns to look at me, “Jin, sedate her.”

My heart drops into my stomach as Jin reaches into his pocket to pull out a needle. He draws closer to me with it. He looks conflicted on it but shakes it away. I start fighting Jungkook and Namjoon’s hold.

I use the hold on my arms to kick the syringe out of Jin’s hands and kick him away. It’s not until I headbutt Jungkook and swipe Namjoon’s feet from under him that I get free. I have the option to run towards the elevator and get out of here but I can’t leave Yoongi alone with CL, knowing that she could hurt him at any moment. I try once more to convince him by running towards him and embracing him. I hold him tight until he reaches to embrace me back.

I whisper in his ear, “Yoongi, please don’t do this. I love you so much and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I can hear him trying so hard to hold his sobs back. I look over his shoulder to see CL standing there with a smug look on her face as if she’s won but I know that Yoongi will choose me over her any day.

“I love you too,” a burst of hope rising in me but that’s quickly extinguished when I feel a pinch on my thigh, “I don’t want you to get hurt either.”

I look at my thigh where a syringe is poking out of my skin. Yoongi pulls the needle out as he keeps his eyes on me. I let a tear fall down my cheek as my eyes begin to fog and my motor skills become like jelly. Yoongi catches me once my legs stop responding and the heavy feeling of sleep begins to overpower me.

The last thing I see is Yoongi’s face and then nothing at all.

[Nine]

[lunaseongs]

it’s so loud inside my head with words that i should have said

tw: graphic death descriptions, death mentions, abuse mentions

timeline: friday, december 25th, 2020

The kettle is whistling, it’s screaming, it won’t stop and Luna thinks she can hear someone screaming for help and she thinks vaguely she should help them, but then she realizes she’s the one screaming.

“Luna?”

“I’m sorry,” she says softly, realizing she hasn’t been listening to her therapist during this week’s session. “What were you saying?”

Even if she hadn’t known Cyrus, Luna knows she would have had a reaction to his death. She doesn’t think she’s unique for having a personal connection to death. Death is part of this world the way a tree’s roots burrow under the ground, they can’t exist without each other. Since the assembly where the news was shared with the student body, it’s felt a bit like there’s a roaring in her ears, like the world is going too fast and she can’t keep up.

So Luna almost misses what her therapist says again, and even though she does hear it, it’s hard to process what she’s saying.

“We’ve determined it’s safe for you to see your mother again. Any threat toward you and your family has been eliminated.”

-------------------------------------------

“What are you reading this week my little moon?” her father asks as he enters the kitchen after work, ten year old Luna’s homework forgotten on the kitchen table as she thumbs her way through one of the many books she received for her birthday instead.

“The Graveyard Book, I just started it,” she answers without looking up, though she does lean into the kiss her father places on the top of her head, expecting the gesture. It’s just as routine as brushing her teeth before bed. “The plot sounds a little weird but I like the writing so far.”

“Would you like tea to accompany your reading then? It’s a story that I think requires a cozy drink.”

“I always want tea, Dad.”

He chuckles, already halfway through filling the kettle with water for the both of them, the sound of the gas stove burners clicking to life making both of them sigh with contentment in unison. 

“Tell me what about the plot sounds weird,” he tells Luna as he leans against the kitchen counter, loosening his tie and tossing it onto the counter, where he’ll inevitably forget it, and her mother will find it later when she gets home from the grocery store.

“I don’t know,” Luna answers, finally looking up from her page to look at him. “I just think the idea of being raised by ghosts sounds kind of weird, like it’s going to be corny, you know? But I liked Coraline a lot so I think I’ll like this too.”

“Oh, there’s my daughter’s face! I’ve barely seen it emerge from a book since her birthday,” he teases lightly, and Luna scowls at him, immediately looking back down at her page in retaliation, but her smile immediately gives her away, and her father bursts into laughter.

“You’re hilarious, Dad.”

She doesn’t know it’s the last thing she’ll ever say to him, of course, and it’s so mundane and meaningless, and she’ll try not to think about it too much as the years go by, but at night she’ll lie in bed and think of all the things she wishes she’d said, how she still hasn’t finished The Graveyard Book.

They exist in silence a lot, two people who prefer to read words as opposed to speaking them, and this moment is no different, her father decompressing from a day at work while he waits for the water to boil, Luna deep into her book as the plot grabs her more and more.

And the only thing that breaks the silence is the sound of her father falling to the ground, and falling down hard.

“Dad?” Luna questions, the moment so sudden that she isn’t even panicking yet, setting her book down. She thinks maybe he’s tripped, but there’s nothing to trip over on the smooth tile of their kitchen floor, and so panic enters her voice now. “Dad?!” 

She’s up in a flash, book discarded, not knowing or caring what page she was on as she rushes to his side. He’s bleeding from hitting the ground, and it’s much darker than she thought blood was when it’s in quantities this big, and it’s on her jeans and it’s on her hands as she nudges him desperately.

“Dad!”

She can’t bear to leave him, can’t bear to just leave him bleeding on the ground, but she has to, almost tripping as she stumbles to the kitchen phone, fingers shaking as she dials 911. Luna isn’t even sure what she says to the operator, she just tells them her address and begs for help, because she’s only ten, and how is she supposed to know what to do? A million options run through her mind, like sprinting to Frank’s to beg him for help, like he’ll be able to solve all her problems like he solves the riddles she gives him in their secret languages.

But she can’t leave her dad.

Luna is back at his side with a towel from the kitchen counter, pressing it to where she thinks the blood is coming from, not sure how to do this.

The kettle is whistling, it’s screaming, it won’t stop and Luna thinks she can hear someone screaming for help and she thinks vaguely she should help them, but then she realizes she’s the one screaming.

The second she realizes she’s the one making noise, she makes herself stop, wanting nothing more than to sob, and her voice quivers with the effort of holding back tears, vision swimming. “Dad, can you hear me?!”

The landline is hanging off the hook, the 911 operator shouting to her, there’s sirens in the distance, and they have to come faster because the center of her universe is bleeding on the ground and she doesn’t know how to put him back together.

Luna will have nightmares of the moment the paramedics arrive and pull her off him, screaming for them to let her go, because that’s her father, and they have no right. She’ll have nightmares of her mother pulling into the driveway and sprinting into the house in a panic, finding her daughter and husband covered in blood, screaming questions. She’d never seen her mother like that before this moment, always so composed, so regal and warm, and that’s when Luna realizes how bad it is if her mother is losing her composure.

Luna won’t notice it as a child but years later she’ll reflect on how slow the paramedics were moving because he’d been dead within seconds of hitting the ground.

Frank will hold her hand at the funeral, and feral, animalistic sobs will tumble out of her body as she watches her father be lowered into the ground, screaming for him to come back, and it’s the last time Luna will ever allow her composure to be broken like that.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m sorry?” Luna asks, wildly certain her therapist is playing a cruel joke on her, that instead her mother is dead too, and they’re just here so the blow can be delivered in a place that’s safe for her to lose it, as she surely will.

But her therapist is smiling, so widely it has to hurt her cheeks, and Luna only allows herself to believe it when she repeats herself.

“You can see your mother, Luna.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

“What is this, Luna?” her mother asks softly, hands reaching up to cradle her sixteen year old daughter’s face lightly, the black eye dark like a storm. Her mother wasn’t supposed to be home this early, but her third job hadn’t needed her today, and she has a rare night off. 

“It’s nothing, Mom,” she insists firmly, but she’s fairly certain she’s reached a breaking point today. He’s never hit her like this before, never left a mark so prominent and obvious, a gesture full of hatred when he’s supposed to love her.

“It is not nothing,” her mother says back, just as firmly, taking Luna’s face in both hands now, firm but gentle, forcing Luna to look away from the ground and into her mother’s eyes, and while she hasn’t cried in years, the sight of tears there almost does it. She hates seeing her mother like this, hates doing anything to make her sad.

“How do I get out?” Luna whispers, and her mother’s face collapses as she starts crying, pulling her daughter into her lap on their secondhand couch like she’s ten years old again, burying her tears into Luna’s hair.

“We’ll get you out, baby, I promise.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s with numbness that Luna accepts she’ll have to fake her own death from the agent standing in front of her after the court case falls through on a technicality, and the very people she’s just testified against are sent out onto the streets as a free man.

Luna will die a thousand times over, walk herself to death if she has to, if it means her mother lives, Frank lives, anyone she’s ever loved lives.

And that’s all she’ll be thinking about when she runs away the same day her mother attends her daughter’s faked funeral. She’ll keep running as long as she has to.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

There are a lot of logistics to go through, and Luna is only half listening as her therapist explains them. The earliest she can see her mother is Christmas Day, she’s being flown to Roseville, she’ll have a house here, she’ll live here.

“How is she doing? Financially, I mean,” Luna asks, interrupting a little, because she needs to know, she needs to know everything she did was worth it.

“Very well. She’s comfortable, has a salaried position. She’s already been informed you’re alive, and we’re working on helping her secure a rental here.”

Luna thinks if she ever magically becomes rich, she’ll just give all of her money to Gallagher.

“And I can just… she can just be my mom again?” Her voice is quiet, barely above a whisper, because it seems too good to be true. Like she can just snap back into not her old life, but a better life, a life without someone who shows his love with his fists, a life without having to steal to eat, a life off the streets. There’s no way this moment can exist in the same week someone else has died.

“Of course, Luna. She never stopped being your mom.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s the longest week of her life, but Luna is finally in the car, leg bouncing with nerves as the car pulls away from Gallagher and toward Roseville. She wildly considers for a moment that maybe this is just a prank, that maybe someone at school has hated her for the last three years and organized some elaborate ruse to offer her happiness again and take it away in a moment.

But the car stops in front of the very house she has a picture of on her phone and she dares to believe it properly, dares to tell herself her mother is on the other side of the door. She can barely get the car door open when the front door is opening and Luna sees her.

“Luna!”

She can barely get a look at her mother, can barely take in the added grey hair, the way she looks healthy and well fed, before her mother is colliding with her, pulling her into a hug that sucks the air out of her.

“Hi Mom,” she breathes out, before the dam breaks and she bursts into tears properly, real tears, chest and earth shaking sobs that she’s held back for years. Her mother still smells the same, still feels the same, and it’s like no time has passed and a century has gone by all at once. “I’m so sorry,” Luna chokes out, not sure she can ever say it enough, can ever properly apologize for taking a daughter away from a widow, but her mother shushes her.

“My baby, my beautiful girl, don’t you ever apologize to me,” her mother insists through her own tears, letting go so she can take Luna’s face into her hands, brushing each tear away as it falls. “Look at you, you are my whole world.”

Luna just cries harder, trying her best to take in her mother through her tears. The years have aged her beautifully, worry and smile lines equal, and she has glasses now, and Luna could stand here and stare at her for hours, just take her in, as if she’ll disappear if Luna looks away.

“I missed you so much,” Luna says, and she hates that she’s the one begging for comfort like this when her mother had to mourn her death, but she can’t help it, and her mother only pulls her into another hug, this one less tight, but longer and warmer.

“I missed you too, little moon.”

She hasn’t heard that in years, nobody besides her parents ever truly called her that, and it’s like the roaring in her ears finally stops.

“Merry Christmas, Mom.”

-------------------------------------------------------

“How long will you be gone?” seven year old Luna whines to her father as he zips his suitcase shut before one of his rare business trips.

“It’ll be like you blink and I come back,” he insists to her, stooping so he’s on her eye level, hand reaching up to brush his thumb over her cheek. “You won’t even miss me.”

“I always miss you,” Luna pouts, lower lip quivering a little, embarrassed that she wants to cry just because her dad is leaving for a couple of days, and he immediately pulls her into a hug.

“And I will always miss you back, little moon,” he says into her hair as he presses a kiss to the top of her head, before standing. He doesn’t want to leave her, never does. Every decision he makes has Luna in mind, and he never wants to miss out on any part of her life, even the mundane parts of it. “I’ll be thinking of you the whole time I’m gone, okay?” 

Luna nods, proud of herself for not crying though she still wants to, and she lets go of his hand so he can pick up his suitcase without too much protest, though she’s tempted to ask him not to go when he reaches the door.

“I love you, Dad,” she says, arms tightening around her small frame, already missing the warmth from his hug.

“I love you too, Luna.”

--------------------------------------------------------

“I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, Luna.”

[sobdasha]

had a few more thoughts about the Honda family

and all the Souma parallels.

(and by “a few” I apparently meant “a lot”, I did not mean to write this many pages)

In the other post I’d made a comment about how Katsuya’s romance with Kyouko, severe age difference issues aside, is just plain pathetic, a point which I believe to be Upheld by canon. And I wanted to talk more about that, the implications of that, and how that further builds the Akito and Tohru parallel. And also, Why Tohru Can’t Love Her Mom And Kyou At The Same Time.

The ideal, in Fruits Basket, is that when you make a connection with one person who loves you and sees you, this will enable you to make further connections with the people around you. Tohru does a whole heck of a lot of this; for one example, see Yuki explaining this to Kisa in the liking-yourself speech. Yuki does some of this for bitty Haru and later for Machi. Kazuma does this for Kyou. And so on and so forth. The positive experiences are meant to have a ripple effect.

It’s important to be grateful for what you have (Yuki and Machi’s “just one person would be enough” scene), but it’s human to crave more than that (Kyouko telling Saki that it’s probably normal to want other people to accept you even if you already have a loving and supportive family). It is important to crave more than that.

This was, in fact, the entire point of the curse. God meets cat. Cat’s companionship allows god to form connections with other animals. Cat is dying and god decides that 13 friends is the perfect number of friends and starts the reincarnation cycle. Cat says, “god you never once left your house. I wanted to see you go down and make friends with the humans. I wanted to see you experience the world and laugh in the sunlight. God you made 13 new friends but you’re still lonely and closing yourself off to the world forever, this is wrong and I am sad.” The banquets were supposed to be the gateway drug of friendship and meaningful connections, not the place where 14 souls stagnated alone and isolated until it became a curse.

That same wrongness happens in Ren and Akira’s relationship, where finally making a connection with one person who loves you and sees you made their world smaller and smaller. It wasn’t healthy, probably because 1) they remained in a toxic environment, 2) Kureno implies that Ren has mental health issues and I assume those existed prior to Akira’s death and were exacerbated, rather than created by, her grief; also I can’t imagine she actually came from a non-toxic family herself, and 3) Akira’s “you’re going to die an early death and the only thing we need from you first is a successor” trauma. Akira never found anyone other than Ren who understood how upset he was. Ren never formed a relationship with anyone other than Akira, partly because she was now trapped in a toxic family that despised everything about her and she refused to Prove Them Right by leaving. They both viewed their child as an object rather than a person; Akira seeing proof that he and Ren were definitely OTP and the Souma could go shove it, and Ren seeing a Rival.

I have a memory that I said at some point—probably in a Talking About Shigure post—that Kyouko helps Katsuya connect with other people. But this, I think, is not really true. I was thinking of how Kyouko helps bridge the non-relationship between Katsuya and his father. But that’s just one person.

Really, Katsuya and Kyouko are more like Akira and Ren.

Marrying-someone-who-just-graduated-ninth-grade aside, the fact that Katsuya and Kyouko meet is genuinely a good thing. Katsuya finally connects with the humanity in another person. Kyouko is finally cared about as a person. Their misanthropic-jackass-and-abandoned-cat relationship improves both of them, probably. Their connection is definitely the reason Kyouko decides to go to high school and quit her gang. It’s harder to tell with Katsuya, but you could argue that seeing Kyouko struggling and fighting and screaming against the world, as honest about her joy as she is about her loneliness-channeled-into-rage, causes Katsuya to say screw it and pursue the career in pharmacy that he’s interested in, instead of fake-politely submitting to the world’s expectations and internally resenting and disdaining everyone around him.

Katsuya softens in his relationship with his father. Both Katsuya and Kyouko see their child as a person in her own right, Tohru, rather than an object. Katsuya, in fact, is adamant about that fact when Kyouko is terrified of her pregnancy—that they can treat their baby as her own person, and if they aren’t perfect parents and they hurt their child, they’ll apologize—because Tohru is a person and an equal—and admit that what they did was wrong and why it’s wrong. They’ll treat Tohru with the respect they should have gotten all along.

But I don’t think it ever goes any farther than that. Like god, the Honda family becomes more and more isolated.

Does Katsuya make any work friends? We don’t really get a complete view of their lives, because Takaya is one person who can only do so much and space is very precious, so we only see what’s crucial to the story. But I would be really surprised to find that Katsuya had made any close friends outside of Kyouko. I honestly doubt that he has anything more than casual work acquaintances. (In contrast, we repeatedly see Kyou together with the two guys who got names in the anime that I forgot in his class; his friendship with them doesn’t get explored much in the manga, presumably because it doesn’t do any heavy lifting for his character development, but Kyou clearly has casual friends who seek him out and whom he doesn’t mind being with. See also the way Saki and Arisa also interact with those guys as a part of the group, while Tohru really only interacts with Saki and Arisa or the Souma.)

And I don’t think Kyouko fares any better. Does she have any close friends, other than her husband and daughter? Does she make friends at work? I don’t know what kind of work Kyouko does, and if she would have the opportunity to take her breaks socializing with coworkers. But it appears she spends her work breaks in an abandoned area socializing with a first or second grader. Kyou is the only person, as far as we know, that mid-twenties Kyouko can start to open up to. She doesn’t get all the way there—Kyou doesn’t connect the dots until much later—but it’s the closest she comes to talking about how she hurt Tohru after Katsuya died.

Where are the family friends? It doesn’t strike me as weird that the Honda family doesn’t have them, because I have also grown up in a poorly socialized household, but even I am used to running into unfamiliar people in public who explain that they know my mom or dad. I’m pretty sure family friends are a normal thing, and that’s how you get aunts and uncles that aren’t related to you, much in the same way that I’m pretty sure it’s normal to be friends with your cousins (especially if they’re in a similar age range and live nearby) and it is very common for grandparents to bring grandchildren with them to the grocery store because the grandchildren are staying over and they’re having a relationship.

Where is anyone but the Honda family at at Kyouko’s funeral? Kyouko made friends with Arisa and Saki, but did she ever make friends with Saki’s parents? Where are Saki’s loving and supportive mother and father and grandmother when the Honda family is arguing about who has to take on the burden of Tohru? Where are they, if they knew of the bad blood between Kyouko and the Honda family (and the disinheritance between Kyouko and the Katsunuma family), to sweep over Tohru’s protestations and tell her that it will all be fine, they’ll make it work out (they packed up and moved house for Saki, after all), it’s not Tohru’s job to worry about being a burden, it’s the job of people who love her to take care of her?

It can be both “because of the necessity of the plot” and “because they didn’t know.”

Tohru inherits this small, isolated world. And because of the trauma of being abandoned by her grieving, depressed, absolutely-not-coping mother, Tohru picks up on that Souma curse mentality. Tohru’s dad left, and Tohru’s dad tried to take her mom with her, leaving her with no one but Grandpa (who is not intimately part of their world but is not fully outside it either). Tohru’s dad is now a Rival. Tohru’s dad is now an Outsider. Clearly, a bond with an Outsider weakens the True Bond that Tohru had with Kyouko. Clearly, Tohru’s dad is Not Needed (because the other alternative is that Tohru is Not Needed). Clearly, only one of them can have Kyouko.

And it’s going to be Tohru.

Tohru picks up Katsuya’s fake-polite speech, equally disingenuously but from the opposite direction (ie, Katsuya was fake-polite to be an asshole, and Tohru is genuinely polite but faking the words). Tohru is pretty sure this is a form of wicked manipulation (much like Yuki is convinced that “be kind unto others as you would have them be kind unto you” is a form of wicked manipulation). Tohru keeps up with it anyway. Kyouko, as Kyou suggests, was probably comforted by this; rather than going full Akira “you exist to prove that I lived and loved a woman”, seeing Katsuya’s mannerisms in Tohru reminds her that her husband did exist without having to erase Tohru as a person. Kyouko does a lot of growing on her own, but with no support system and no friends outside the family and being fresh-out-of-college age, it’s not surprising that she fails to talk with Tohru about this, and tell Tohru that she knows why Tohru’s doing this, she knows how she hurt Tohru and it was wrong, you don’t have to do this anymore. This is a hurt between them, a grief, that they never talk about, even though they both know it’s there and Kyouko tries to smother it with love and affection and Tohru tries to shut it up in a box of denial.

Tohru’s world is now just Tohru and Kyouko. Tohru doesn’t make any friends until middle school. We know she gets bullied and doesn’t fit in throughout her entire school life. She is a riceball in a fruits basket and probably just manages to scrape by in conformity culture. When she does make her first friends, Arisa and Saki don’t count as Outsiders who compromise Tohru’s bond with her mom because Arisa and Saki are also misfits on the fringe. They are outcasts Tohru can bring into the circle. They are all monsters together, like the cursed Soumas (the only reason no one refers to Akito as a monster to her face, the way they do the rest of the Zodiac, probably has less to do with the fact that Akito doesn’t transform and more to do with the fact that Akito being in a position of power is useful for their own ends, so best not to undermine the head of the family by pointing the whole monster thing out).

And then Tohru’s mom dies.

Tohru isn’t god and she can’t make an eternal banquet. Tohru doesn’t know how to process her grief and how not to fall to pieces. Tohru knows how to empathize with other people, but she doesn’t know how to be vulnerable. Did she remember Kyouko wanting to follow Katsuya, and think about doing the same? But Tohru also wants to keep living, somehow.

So she makes her mom not be gone. Her mom is dead, Tohru knows that, just like Akito knows that Akira’s soul isn’t in the box choosing her over Ren and showing her the way to happiness. But maybe. So she talks to the portrait of her mom. She tries to rescue her mom from suffocating inside a mudslide. She takes her mom on holiday to the onsen. Her mom gets kidnapped once by Hiro. Tohru’s mom is definitely not gone. Tohru and her mom definitely still have an eternal bond. Tohru’s mom will always be first in her heart, so that Tohru will always be first in her mother’s heart. Tohru will never abandon her. Tohru will never leave her behind.

(Tohru will never be left behind.)

Tohru’s world is just Tohru and her mom.

Tohru has two best friends, Arisa and Saki, but she won’t let them in. She won’t depend on them. She won’t tell that that her grief is crushing her and that she’s living in a tent because she’s terrified of being abandoned. Tohru makes a lot of new friends in the Souma family, and she’s very happy, but she won’t let them in either. Tohru can’t open up to any of them freely.

I don’t think I saved it anywhere the survived the computer death, but I saw at least one post in the fandom talking about the growing disappointment of the reboot anime, and they had a valid point, so I’ll bring that in now.

I really like the reboot, but I am losing my passion in the final season. Adapting a story from one media to another is hard, and at the beginning I thought they were doing a good job. Small things were being cut, scenes were being rearranged and stitched together, but there was a definite purpose behind it. Instead of literally following each chapter, each episode tried to be a self-contained theme in the same way a manga chapter would be. Because themes repeat again and again in Fruits Basket in a slow build, this was working well. But small things that didn’t quite fit got cut. Scenes I liked and was sad not to see, but that I accepted had to be left out to make the episodes stronger.

But they’ve been piling up and piling up. Small holes have accumulated into big plot holes that the third season is tripping over. I’m sad that we don’t see the small progressions of Yuki and Machi’s relationship, the quiet scenes that show Machi is trying to pay attention to Yuki the way he has paid attention to her, and also all the Mogetas. I’m sad Komaki is the new manga-only character. If we don’t get Kyouko’s full backstory, we lose a lot of the context that’s in this post. I could go on and on.

But most importantly, as that someone else pointed out, we missed out on the progression of Kyou and Tohru’s flirting. It’s too late to cram all of that into a montage episode, and so now we’ve been given episode after episode of Mom Tohru, and hardly any Tohru Struggling With Romance In Addition To Struggling With Grief before suddenly everyone is confessing their love and I’m not as into it in the anime as I am in the manga.

So many of the Souma love and accept Tohru, but Tohru remains an Outsider—not because of the curse, but because she hasn’t formed close friendships with them. Tohru has a lot of people among the Souma she likes who like her, but she’s always a Mom to them. Tohru shares some of her own pain with them, but it’s shared for their benefit, not for Tohru’s own catharsis. Tohru shares so she will be loved, not so that she will be accepted.

Except Kyou.

Kyou, who looks at Tohru and thinks, “I’m pretty sure she’s that lonely person even now, even while she’s smiling and genuinely enjoying every moment with us.” Kyou, who’s falling in love with Tohru. Kyou, whom Tohru’s falling in love with.

Kyou is the only one that Tohru takes a desperate risk with. Kyou is the only one Tohru ~disillusions~ and ~disappoints~ in the hope that he’ll accept her regardless.

Kyou is the only one Tohru tells, “I don’t talk about my dad because I kicked him out of the family. I know my dad loved us and I loved him back, but I pretend to talk like him so my mom will forget about him and love me instead. He came between me and my mom and now I pretend he doesn’t exist. And I know I’m an awful person for behaving like that, so I keep his picture and pretend I don’t, and I pretend he’s the Bad Guy who earned it.”

The idea that Tohru can’t love both her mom and Kyou is, in a way, true. (I think that same post I’ve been referencing also talked about how dropping the budding romance also dropped a lot of the clues that this is Tohru unable to process her grief? Which is also very true. But if Tohru has the Souma mindset, then actually she has a legit point about not being able to love two people at once despite being a very loving person. Both can be true. Multitudes.)

Kyou is an Outsider to the world of Tohru and her mom. And if Tohru chooses to love him, it will weaken her bond with her mom, which is predicated on loving her mom more than anyone else. If she expands her world to include him in it, she will be betraying her mom. Tohru will be the Bad Guy who left her mom behind and abandoned her. Tohru will be her own villain, condemned for the same crimes she pinned on her dad.

Kyou 100% gets where she’s coming from with this, because he turns this exact argument on her when she confesses to him and he panics (akin to when Tohru chases him down in his true form and he slashes her and, in the reboot, yeets her into the lake, so that she will be hurt so bad she’ll never pity/love him again). He asks her if her love for her mom—her bond—was just a lie.

Tohru making friends after Kyouko’s death has been a lot like Akito letting Yuki and Kyou out into the world, certain that it would drive them back to the bond. Yuki getting character development is a huge betrayal. Tohru wanting to be together with Kyou, when she should only want to be together with her mom, is a huge betrayal.

Tohru has no model for expanding her world. She’s good at loving people, but bad at letting them in (Kyouko was bad at that too—like Mom Tohru, she was very good at sharing anecdotes about her violent youth, but very bad about sharing how she’d failed Tohru as a mom). Like Akito, she only really knows the bond—the certainty that her mom would love her. She’s been so terrified of not being loved that she’s acted this entire time like her mom is still around. When Kyou’s love is a possibility, she can only conceptualize it as a betrayal of her relationship with her mother.

It always seemed a bit too abrupt that Tohru looked at Akito with the knife and went “oh shit we’re literally the same”, but now that I’ve thought this all out, it makes eloquent sense. The whole time Tohru’s been working against the curse, she’s been in denial about her own blessing-burden-curse. Now that she’s just admitted it and had it thrown back in her face, she can look at Akito and see another person in an insular little world, isolated and lonely and walled-off from the world. Of course Tohru desperately wants to make friends with knife-wielding Akito—she just decided to let go of her ties to her mother that were suffocating her, and take her first steps into the world, and got immediately dumped by the person she loves. Of course she wants to make friends with someone who knows exactly where Tohru’s coming from and how terrifying what Tohru just did is and how awful it is to be rejected even though she’s got other friends she loves out here in this world she’s decided to finally step into.

Tohru is so damn lonely, and Akito is there, also lonely and screaming and crying and undeniably human.

(Smile, Tohru tells herself in the hospital. Smile and tell Kyou you were happy to meet him and just let him go. Don’t be a curse. Smile and let him find his own happiness. Which is more or less the same struggle Akito is also going through. But maybe they’re going through it together. Maybe they used their words, together, when they couldn’t confide in anyone else. Although it feels a bit unlikely that Tohru let herself break down about Kyou in front of Akito, and Akito already had one pity-party in front of Momiji and may not have wanted to burden Tohru with a second.)

One thing I really love about Fruits Basket Another is that Hajime alludes to the fact that Kyou probably won’t inherit Kazuma’s dojo after all.

Kyou inheriting the dojo is something both Kyou and Kazuma have wanted, and it gives me many warm fuzzies. It is very narratively satisfying. The dojo, while Souma property, is not actually part of the main estate.

What I love is that Kyou probably won’t take over the dojo specifically because he and Tohru have made so many friends in their new town that they don’t want to pick up and leave. Kyou finally succeeds in freeing Tohru from that small, lonely world, much like he’s been freed from the fate of the Cat Room. Their relationship enriches them personally and also enables them to make so many new connections. Kyou has friends at the dojo! Tohru has friends at work maybe! Friends where they buy groceries, friends among the parents of their children’s classmates, friends outside of their extended Souma family! They’ve kept ties that don’t hold them back and made new ties that don’t weaken or steal away any of their old ties!

When they left Tokyo, Tohru was prepared to go anywhere as long as it was with Kyou. Now, she and Kyou both don’t want to leave because their world is so much larger than just their nuclear family and they’ve put down roots. They’ve seen each other not only lonely in the moonlight and worn thin by death and loss, but they’ve gotten up and gone down the mountain to where the people live and made friends among them, laughing in the sunlight. Just like the cat always uggghhhhh I’m not crying I’m just so damn happy for them I can’t

[ivyandink]

How The Ivy’s End - Season 1

it’s long af, so below the cut. at the end is a brief tldr; too for u instant gratification fans

Levi & Penelope

Levi and Penelope, after raising 4 kids together (Luna, Dorian [Penny + Zach’s baby, passed off as Levi’s], Morgan and Charlotte [Penny+Levi’s twins]), have a struggling relationship.

Levi is constantly trying to make things work, to make Penny happy, and to find the ‘spark’ they once had, in an attempt to revive their dead bedroom (yup!!! rip). Penny gets put on a project at work that has her teaming up with a legal consultant... none other than ex-boyfriend Justin Brees!

While Levi is struggling to work on his relationship with Penelope, raise his children, and manage his relationship with Luna’s mom Megan, Penelope is starting to feel things she hasn’t felt in a while-- but for Justin. 

When Levi and Penny’s neighbor hits on Levi one afternoon, after he rejects her she tells him she knows his relationship is falling apart-- she sees it, because so is hers. Turns out... she maybe have been right!! Penelope starts toying with the idea of breaking things off with Levi, to pursue Justin; the way she feels around him is just incomparable.

She’s ready to pull the trigger, and put an end to their ~4 years together when... Zach shows up. The father of her first child (who everyone thinks is Levi’s!), the man who spun a wild tale about a mysterious man he worked for, and some sort of danger which meant he had to disappear for a while. It took time, but eventually Penelope realized she’d been played. Zach, an avid reader nonetheless, made up a wild story all to avoid responsibility. 

Or did he.....?

Feeling the pressure and a surge of emotions from Zach’s return, Penelope finds comfort in the familiar, and reels herself back in from breaking things off with Levi. Together, they try to determine what to do about Zach being back in the picture, and wanting to meet his son. Penelope is adamant that she doesn’t want to give him a chance, but Levi, despite how much he wants to agree with her, can’t, after having experienced what it was like to not be able to see your own child. He urges her to hear Zach out, at the very least.

And when she does, it turns out... Zach’s story wasn’t as farfetched of a lie as she thought. He was on the hook for partaking in a money laundering scheme, through his business, Scratch Publishing. He’d fallen into the scheme thanks to a man he met and befriend in his NA group-- Michael Windsor. By the time he’d realized what was happening, he was in too deep to safely get out. That was why he’d pushed Penelope away in the first place, broken up with her over something trivial, and run when she’d told him about the baby. He couldn’t risk bringing her down with him. Thankfully, the statute of limitations on money laundering was five years, and with a solid four under his belt and no red flags or contact from Mr. Windsor, he figured it’d be safe to come back.

In awe of his words, Penelope’s harsh demeanor starts to slowly dismantle. The thing she’d always held against Zach was his abandonment, his betrayal, and how much he’d broken her heart when she was certain they were truly, deeply in love. How did she feel about him now that it turned out all of that was to protect her?

Slowly, but surely, Penelope allows Zach back into her, and Dorian’s life. Zach and his son bond almost instantly, which is both heartwarming and troubling. Dorian had been raised thinking Levi was his dad... what were they to say now? For Levi especially, it was hard seeing a child he’s come to see as his own, be taken away... rightfully so, by his biological father... but nonetheless, it wasn’t easy. Especially not for a second time. Within himself, now Levi has to grapple with the dilemma of how to tell his entire family he’d lied to them for four years...

Eventually, he tells them all, and once the chaos and confusion of it all blows over, things start to settle into a nice (albeit, strange) routine with Levi, Penelope, Zach and Dorian. As Zach grows closer with his son, he grows closer with Penelope too-- the old inside jokes, the literary references, the intimate teasing they’d once had together, all slowly starts to come back. Meanwhile, Justin is still spending late nights working with Penelope, and talking to her far too much to be considered strictly professional. Oh, and she’s still with Levi, and raising four children with him....

Levi, focusing on his family and his career, is presented with the opportunity of a lifetime. An international trip, to photograph at some of the top fashion events in Paris. He knows it’d be a game changer for his career, but declines the offer, in favor of staying home, where he can keep an eye on his kids, and more importantly, his relationship, which seems to be falling apart at the seems, and slipping through his fingers like water. (Somewhere in there, Luna gets into child modeling lol.)

After months of battling her emotions, dealing with the revisiting of old feelings of abandonment with Zach (both romantic and parental... him leaving Dorian mirrors her own father leaving her much to much for comfort) and trying to make the best decision not only for herself, but for her family(s?), Penelope decides to end things with Levi. She realizes that if she is feeling so conflicted (and over three men, at that!), that Levi deserves better. She jumped head first into motherhood at such a young age, and lost herself in the tumult of it all. She needed time to be alone-- no Levi, no Justin, no Zach-- to be herself for once, and find out who that woman was. 

....to be continued...

Violet & Jordan

Vi and Jordan couldn’t have a more perfect life. A beautiful daughter, a brand new home, a fancy lifestyle, and a brand new baby boy on the way to complete it all. There had never been a couple more in love in the history of time than Violet and Jordan-- that’s what they like to think anyways.

Their biggest crises is Jordan’s desire to start his own business. After near a decade of working in restaurants, and five years managing one, and a lifetime interest as a hobbyist chef, Jordan realizes that his biggest dream is to open his own catering company. There’s only one problem-- it’s expensive. And truth be told, with an obstetrician for a wife, Jordan isn’t exactly the primary breadwinner in his family.

With a mountain of medical school debt still to be paid, two brand new cars, a brand new house, and two children that need college funds, Violet is gun shy over Jordan’s new proposal. Jordan takes this to mean that his wife doesn’t believe in him, which ensues a few nights of arguments, cold shoulders, and sleeping on the couch (J, not Vi, of course).

But suddenly, that all becomes trivial when Jordan gets a phone call..... his father has died. This news rocks his world. His father had never been much of a father to him, and in fact, had been his abuser growing up. As soon as he was old enough, he’d cut ties with both his parents and got the hell out of dodge. He is filled with a strange feeling-- not quite sadness, but not relief, but a weird mixture of the two. His grieving mother begs him to come home for the funeral. For the moment, Vi and J set their disagreements aside, and say goodbye as Jordan leaves his very pregnant wife to catch a flight to Willow Creek.

To put it simply, this is an intense experience for Jordan. Being back in a place he associates with his terrible childhood, in a place he hated and couldn’t wait to run from...He hardly knows how to process it all. He is happy to see his mother, and grateful now she can be free from her husband’s abuse, too. Except... she’s not happy he’s gone. She doesn’t see herself as freed-- she would’ve defended her husband until the grave, no matter how many bruises he left, and she did exactly that. Jordan decides to stay for the week, and help his mother get everything in order, despite it all.

As he spends time in Willow Creek, he is reminded of the crew he used to run with as a teen and young adult-- people he hardly recognizes now. Except maybe... Cami. Cami had been his ex girlfriend, on again off again sort of situation. They’d dated throughout high school, and after he’d broken up with Violet to give her a better shot at life (thinking, wrongfully, he’d hold her back), Cami was the woman he turned to in his time of heartbreak. Feeling stranded and alone in Willow Creek, with his mom blaming him for his father’s death, and generally feeling like he’s at a crossroads in his life, Jordan ends up humoring Cami’s insistence on hanging around.

Cami knew what it was like. She got it. In ways Violet never could. She'd been hurt by her parents too. She’d grown up in a rough part of town, got involved with the wrong people and the wrong things, just like he did. In a way, they were kindred spirits-- it why they always found their way back to each other, despite how toxic it always ended up being. And if there is one word to describe Cami, it is determined. She is determined to get her way.

She calls him JJ-- his old nickname, that he now despises and associates with his tumultuous youth. She tries to remind him of who he was, and still is, deep down. Who they were together. She tries to tell him that this new life he’s got? It’s not him. It’s that boujee bitch wife of yours, JJ. I bet she don’t even understand you-- bet she doesn’t even get how you can miss someone even when they’ve hurt so bad... bet she said ‘good riddance’ when you told her the news. She doesn’t get you JJ, not like how I do... how I always did.

She comes on to him, pushing herself against him. Jordan gets angry, tries to push her off of him. She goads him on. What’re you gonna do, baby? Hit me again? Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree I guess, JJ. That was one time Camille. One time. I am nothing like him. No baby, you’re not... mmm.. not at all. Shhh, it’s okay, don’t cry. I’m here. I’m here. I’m never leavin’ you JJ, not ever again. 

In a moment of incredible vulnerability and weakness, Jordan relents to her seductions. But... only momentarily. It doesn’t take long for him to realize what is happening-- he pushes her off of him and storms away, as she cries out his name. Disgusted with himself, he immediately goes to call his wife. He breaks down, sobs shaking his body, as he tells Violet everything. Except the other end of the line stays silent... Don’t bother coming home, Jordan. There’s nothing for you here anymore. Stay the fuck away from me.

Cheating was the one thing Violet would never, ever stomach. She hangs up the phone, stoic and stiff as a rock, and then collapses into tears, crying on her beautiful, marble kitchen floors. She she looks around her home, she sees Jordan everywhere. She sees the life they’ve built together over the years. And she knows she can’t stay there for the night. Violet packs a bag for herself and her daughter, drops Willow off with her mom, and heads to Wes and Nate’s place to get away for the night.

...to be continued...

Wes & Nate

Wes and Nate, after four years of marriage, are ready to grow their family. With both of them working good jobs, and a townhouse in a nice enough part of the city (that Nate’s parents may or may not have helped out with...), they figured it was time. Of course, the pleading mothers on both sides of the family didn’t help matters!

Turns out, however, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to adopt a child, especially as a gay couple. Agency after agency has turned them down-- either because they don’t work with gay parents, or because they say they’re just ‘not the right fit’ (code for: you’re gay but we’re scared to say that’s our reasoning). The few agencies that have been willing to work with them are still struggling to pair them with a birth mother. Possibly because despite both of them having good jobs, neither has a college education. Or possibly because on more than one occasion, Wes had dropped an f-bomb during the interview process. Or possibly.... Weston’s questionable family history, and his father being a convict-- which came up on several occasions. 

Feeling depressed and defeated, Weston’s connects with Nate’s sister, Thalia, who is also struggling to conceive with her husband Gianni. Neither of them thought they’d ever really want kids one day, and here they are, both in their feelings about not having them. They have their heart to heart, as it feels like the only person who truly gets it is each other. The feeling of letting their partner down, over one of the biggest things.

Despite Wes and Nate’s growing frustrations, they try and stay patient. And finally, it seems to be paying off! A birth mother has agreed to match with them! Finally, it seems they have conquered the beast.

Until..... she changes her mind, and rescinds the offer, after finding out about Weston’s absent dad. Failure, again. They both know there is nothing they can do to change the sort of childhood Wes had, and that it has no bearing on the types of dads they will be-- it’s just a matter of time until they match with someone who won’t hold that against them. But it inspires Nate to bed the question to his husband... should he try and reconnect with his dad again?

It had been years of avoidance since the last time Steven showed up in Weston’s life. He’d avoided him then, and ever sense. But now, with the topic coming up over and over again, he does feel compelled to reach out. It doesn’t take long to get his number from his mom; he finds out he lives just a few hours away, and they schedule to meet somewhere in the middle.

And for the first time ever, Wes willingly confronts his father. His whole life, he’d built him up to be some kind of monster, and he can’t tell if he’s disappointed or just plain sad to see the man his father has actually become-- a tired, old, cracked out looking man with shaky hands. 

As they talk, Steven apologizes for never being a dad to him, but also admits that he never wanted to be a dad-- not then and not now. The times he reached out years ago, he was just hoping to get to know his kid, as a fellow adult, not like some mentor or fatherly figure. That was a role Steven never did well in. Steven tells Wes how despite his actions, he really did care for him, and his mom, Daria, and he’d cleaned up his act ever since he got out of prison. He confesses that he might not be the best grandfather in the world, but says he is willing to try, if Wes is willing to bring his child around him, one day (despite the fact that Steven gets visibly uncomfortable referencing the fact that Wes is, indeed gay and married to a man). With mutual understanding and no more hard feelings, the men shake hands and part their separate ways.

And as if by some kind of strange magic... Wes and Nate get paired with a birth mom just a few weeks later. Although this time, they know better than to hold their breath, there is something different about this woman and this situation that feels... right.

...to be continued...

Wrap It All Up

Jordan has returned home, Violet is still refusing to forgive him, and only seeing him when they exchange their daughter. Inside, both of them are absolutely crushed, but neither of them knows how to begin to fix the wreckage. Jordan has been coping with all the old dirt his father’s death and trip back home stirred up in himself, and throws himself into developing his business idea. He’s added onto it-- not only will it be a catering company, but he will specifically try and work with at-risk youth. Kids from bad homes, and bad situations. Even with no financial backing, he decides to take the risk and go for it.

Penelope, discovering herself as a single woman and trying to cope with the tremendous emotions she’s been having, is finally starting to find her footing. She’s finally figured out a good childcare schedule with Levi, she’s thriving at work, and she’s starting to see herself-- and what she wants-- clearer. She ends things with Justin (or what little had ever been there) once and for all, and finds herself spending more and more time with Zach, out of desire and not just necessity. With all of her reasons to hate him melted away, the feelings of love she thought were gone start to come back. And-- surprise, surprise-- they’re returned.

Violet has been staying with Wes and Nate, and celebrating with them over the news of matching with another birth mom. She’s been helping them coordinate with her, send her the right sort of items, and prepare their future nursery. One night, her and Wes are up late, talking, as they usually do. And finally Wes tries to approach to touchy subject of her marriage. 

Wes looks at Vi, and point blank, asks her if she wants to divorce Jordan. Instantly, she says no. That tells Wes everything. He urges her to forgive Jordan-- he made a terrible, awful mistake, but he immediately tried to do the right thing. He stopped it before it went further, and his first thought was to lay it all on the line to Violet, not hide it. Wes gently reminds her of the time when she cheated on jordan... with himself. It had just been a kiss, but that was besides the point. When the little secret had finally come out, Jordan had laughed, and been more so annoyed that she was never honest, and less about the actual kiss. Violet insists that was soo different, which Weston concedes to. But still, he urges her to find it in her heart to forgive Jordan. He’s a good man, a great father, and they are truly in love-- they shouldn’t throw it away over one lapse in perfection.

Violet considers Wes’ advice... and heeds it. She goes home one day, when she knows Jordan will be off work, and finds him in the once-pristine kitchen, surrounded with food and bowls and tupperware and tomato sauce strewn just about everywhere. It catches her off guard. She laughs. And then she cries. Then she goes to her husband, wraps her arms around him, and tearfully whispers, What the hell are you doing to my kitchen, Jordan?

Jordan tells Violet about how even if he doesn’t know the financial details yet, he’s going to make his catering business happen; he tells her about the change in plans, spurred by his own troubled teenhood. As she listens to him talk about his life, his dreams, and his passion, she cries harder; she realizes that maybe she never did know this part of her husband. Maybe he never shared it, but maybe she never asked. Again, he apologizes for what happened in Willow Creek. She apologizes for her reaction, and for never taking the time to get to know the rough corners of her husband. As they kiss and makeup, Violet decides that they will tackle this catering business-- together.

Levi, more than anything, feels tired. He feels beaten down. The stress of raising four children. His relationship with Penelope falling apart despite how hard he tried to make it work. Watching Violet and Jordan’s strong marriage falter and almost crack, and Wes and Nate struggle to grow their family... It’s all too much for him-- a man notoriously always looking for love (in all the wrong places..). But, it’s even harder watching all those people around him re-find their love, and peace and happiness... while his still lies dormant. As summer draws near in the wake of the hardest year of his life to date, he decides to finally do something just for him... he calls up his boss, and last minute, takes up the offer to travel to Paris for the international project.

Violet goes into labor, and gives birth to her and Jordan’s second child, and first son. They also officially file for the name of his new catering business.

Nate and Wes fly across the country to be present for the birth of their son, grateful that things didn’t fall through this time.

Penelope and Zach finally make things official.

And in Paris, Levi scouts the streets, following the directions scrawled out on a sheet of torn paper, until he finds it. 

He knocks on the door. And Marie opens it.

////////////////////////////

tldr;

Penny has a lil love triangle with Levi/Justin/Zach. She breaks up with Levi to be single, but ends up with Zach.

Jordan cheats on Vi in a moment of weakness with his toxic ex after the death of his abusive father, but they eventually make up, and he starts a catering business and vows to hire at-risk youth.

Wes and Nate struggle to find a birth mom to adopt from, but finally, it all works out and they have a son.

Levi gets fkin WRECKED emotionally (karma fro, everything perhaps??? lool) , and ends up in Paris, knockin’ on Marie’s door. ;)

There was supposed to be a season 2, as well, which details what happens the next year, after all of this.. :) Primarily focusing on Levi + Marie, and what happens with them, and also Luna’s story! May or may not make a post for that one. Season 2 wasn’t as fleshed out. 

Most important detail I guess is that Levi and Marie end up together lol. 

~*~spoiler~*~