#bbc Merlin just makes me feel

[justaz]

thinking about arthur who has crazy quick reflexes and is a relatively light sleeper who woke up to the sound of someone in his room and saw merlin crouched down messing with his keys before softly asking “whatre you doing?…before breakfast?”

[dollopole]

In most BBC Merlin analyses, and sometimes, mine included, we often talk about how much Merlin forgets himself and who he is, in the later seasons, his personality and character and beliefs, and how he gets replaced by something heavier, by a person who’s literally the other side of Arthur, who can’t think on his own, if he doesn’t consider him first.

But what I personally think we get wrong is when this happens. Because Merlin confesses to Arthur, “I’m happy to be your servant, ‘till the day I die.”

And that happens so early, and what does Arthur do, if not fall irremediably in love? It’s not even a fall, it’s a continuous precipice, a tumultuous one, where he doesn’t know what to hold onto, if not on the one man who unfolded that truth to him, only after a few months of knowing him.

Merlin was ready and did lay down his life for Arthur, mere days later to their first meeting.

No matter their choices, whatever they are bad or good, they can’t do it otherwise, even if they want to, they can’t decide differently, because theirs is not love: it’s destruction, it tears them apart, yet they can’t stop picking up the pieces, one after one, until they’re all again.

Merlin is woven in the fabric of the world, and if Arthur is born of that magic, then he can’t help but feel drawn to him. It doesn’t matter if Merlin is his servant or not, because he would have found a way to serve Arthur no matter the circumstances. He uses his magic only for him because he doesn’t know otherwise. Arthur writes rules and laws based on what Merlin tells him to because he doesn’t know otherwise.

They listen to none but each other, they fight for none but each other, they love none as deeply but each other.

It’s more than devotion, it’s a risk, and Merlin and Arthur took it as soon as they laid eyes on one another.

“Do I know you?”

Perhaps, Arthur did, perhaps, he felt that pull of destiny, that part of him he never understood that had awoken on Merlin’s command.

They are one and the same, and that’s more than love.

[kissme-withyour-cherrylipstick]

I’m really enjoying doing these quick paintings. Featuring his mother's ring. 3.5 hours

[lauravian]

S1E7: The Gates of Avalon

Redrawing a screencap from every episode of Merlin... (until I get bored with it)

[bisclavret]

what SICKO wrote the last scenes between gwaine and merlin is what i want to know. because even lancelot's last episode with merlin - which had to have been intentionally gay-coded since it's obvious the man is grappling with his feelings for merlin morphing from platonic to explicitly romantic - is still subtext because he doesn't have the tools to healthily express his feelings so he goes for the biggest romantic gesture he can think of: sacrificing his life to save a loved one. the writers also make sure to root this gesture back to gwen by adding a scene where she's inadvertently asking him to make that sacrifice first, so although it's very obvious that it's more for merlin than for gwen that lancelot dies for, she is there to add some plausible deniability, thus keeping his sexuality within the realms of subtext.

i don't want to delve too deeply into arthur's last scenes with merlin as there is both so much to unpack about what they mean to each other and there is also somehow nothing left to say that hasn't been said before. my point is just that there's so much at stake that if the viewer doesn't want to deal with the romantic subtext between them they can hang onto the 38 other dynamics merlin and arthur have represented to each other that the writers spent 5 years plastering on top of the gay subtext. basically, while the romance feels textual emotionally-speaking, it isn't "canon".

i don't mean to say that any relationship is better than another (even though i obviously have a preference) but that in gwaine's final scenes with merlin there's just no subtext anymore. his becomes the most explicit expression of romantic love towards merlin, and therefore the most explicit acknowledgment of homosexual love and the existence of queer people on the show:

it starts out with merlin suggesting that gwaine saved a girl from the saxons and then looked after her because he has a more than platonic interest in her, and they show us that merlin is right - gwaine and the girl eira slept together - even as gwaine half-heartedly denies any interest (which, why even deny it? merlin saw them holding hands! unless the lie is part of the point). then in that very same scene and directly after this exchange, merlin needs rescuing from the saxons, calls after gwaine, and gwaine performs the exact same role for him that he performed for eira: he saves him from the saxons and looks after him (for as long as merlin lets him).

the parallel between merlin and eira with such quick cause and effect (it literally all happens within the same minute) is where the shift from subtext to text becomes undeniable. yes, there have been other moments on the show where a character's affections towards two different genders are beat-for-beat the same, but, again, there has always been plausible deniability. in this case the parallel is meant to be taken at face value: the core point of it is to show us how gwaine expresses his attraction.

then, the dialogue they chose to bookend this scene with takes it a few steps further by functioning as a textual love confession to merlin himself: the scene opens with gwaine thanking merlin for everything he did for eira, and merlin saying that there is no need to thank him as it was the least he could do. a minute later, after merlin thanks gwaine for protecting him from the saxons as both merlin and the show just concluded gwaine did for eira for romantic reasons (even as he denied it by outright lying), gwaine parrots what merlin said when gwaine thanked him: no need to thank me, merlin, it's the least i could do.

but this comes off as the opposite of dismissive: in fact, this echoing of merlin's words is meant to jolt both merlin and the audience. by saying this right after saving merlin from the saxons, gwaine has now intentionally pointed merlin's attention towards the explicitly romantic parallel between himself and eira. gwaine is directly implying he just did for merlin what merlin correctly deduced he did for a woman because he desired her sexually and romantically, and he is using merlin's own words to challenge him into seeing past the initial flimsy lie that there is nothing between them. and what's behind the lie, of course, is that gwaine has done all of this and more because he desires merlin sexually and romantically. the camera even lingers on merlin, allowing him and the viewer to absorb what just happened. that for as long as we have known gwaine, his motivations have always boiled down to "i want to be there for merlin". and now both the audience and merlin finally know for sure what was motivating him the entire time.

what's more, by using merlin's own dismissive words, gwaine also implicates merlin's penchant for repression and denial and never allowing himself to be given credit where it's due. this unfortunately never properly gets dismantled on the show, but this moment shows that gwaine knows merlin well enough to know that he goes above and beyond for people, and that merlin's reasons for this ring as false to gwaine's ears as gwaine's reasons for saving damsels do to merlin. it also bittersweetly implies that gwaine has accepted that these are the platonic, repressed terms on which he can have a relationship with merlin. but i think the way in which he explicitly points all of this out to merlin is meant to imply that he isn't entirely happy about having to accept that. or, to circle back to eira, that merlin seems to be cheering for him to enter a heterosexual relationship when gwaine would clearly rather be with him.

what's additionally interesting to me about this is that this is one of the only scenes on this show that touch on same gender attraction that isn't using magic as a metaphor - because merlin doesn't have magic at the moment, yes, but also because gwaine is the more active character in this sequence, and he's an adventure hero, so he simply fights the bad guy to protect the person he loves. there is no metaphor to wrap this in, so he just gets to explicitly state his bisexuality. in the next scene, the very last one he and merlin share, it all becomes about magic again, which is both representative of merlin's sexuality and the show's "plausible deniability" approach to gay-coding, and so neither gwaine or merlin are permitted to acknowledge it. also, and this is for another post altogether, but all things point to "gwaine knew". not least because he gets to come out as queer without the complications of the magic-as-gay-metaphor which in turn emboldens him to ask merlin for the truth as directly as the metaphor-suffocated narrative will allow it.

tldr gwaine textually and canonically expresses and then confesses his feelings to merlin in a shockingly well-written and layered scene which makes gwaine the most explicitly queer character on bbc merlin and it's entirely because he exists outside the magic-as-gay-metaphor plot while loving someone who embodies that entire metaphor and it's crazy to me that we don't talk about this more. once again i ask what SICKO wrote this and where were they for the entire rest of this fucking show

tldrtldr at least gwaine is bi. its like i always say. at least gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. dont cry ok? gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. when all else fails. gwaine is bi. we'll always have. gwaine is bi

[echolocalia]

And if anybody asks, I’ll say I did it as a joke 🍀🍀

[morganafayes]

god im just thinking abt how. merlin is always saying that before he came to camelot he thought he was cursed and he hated his magic because he thought it made him a monster but it was also all he had. and then him telling lancelot in s4 that since he found the purpose of his magic (protecting arthur) he doesn't feel that way anymore. sigh. the way out is just another cage!!!

[blazeshardcat]

one of the things that always gets me with merlin is how the show handles the concept of self-sacrifice/trust...

i think of the consequences of lancelot's sacrifice- it denied merlin the only friend that knew about his magic (gaius was more of a father figure), and i think that loss was one of the biggest factors in how sad and worn-down merlin gets in S4-5. it also denied gwen the chance to choose her partner, not to mention how lancelot decided to "sacrifice" his chances with her for arthur's sake well before his actual death.

there's balinor, who never went back for hunith. he had reasons to be concerned for her safety, but hunith knew the risks when she first housed him- wouldn't she want to know he was alive, even with the danger? it's another example of how this kind of emotional martyrdom denies their loved ones the choice to share their risks and burdens.

there's arthur. born into royalty, he was awarded many luxuries, but still denied the chance to safely choose whether or not he wanted to be king. so he makes the sacrifices leaders do, unable to make friends and love without the watchful eyes of the court & the constant threat of betrayal- after all, that's what kings do, right? in uther's words, a king must rule alone.

and of course, that leads us to merlin himself. he sacrificed everything for arthur- a chance for other magic-users to be free, a better position than a manservant, a home that wouldn't burn him for his gifts, and a million smaller pieces of joy he denied himself along the way. but what was it for? after everything, arthur still died, and it's unlikely magic returned either.

like all the other instances of self-sacrifice in this show, merlin had valid reasons- he loved arthur, and the prophecy gave him the purpose he'd been seeking his entire life, but he never confided about his magic due to incredibly real fears of execution or exile. so he chose to burn himself in silence, rather than risk arthur's feelings.

yet that's the thing about arthur- he doesn't destroy himself completely for the sake of camelot, doesn't follow uther's advice to he bone. he DOES learn to be better, to judge people based on their actions instead of labels, and to keep people he genuinely loves near him. i think arthur positively changes the most of anyone in the show, and it's largely because he actually opened up when merlin provided opportunities to do so. he didn't simply accept that a prince should suffer in silence, but learned to share his emotional burdens, which is why he got closer with many characters over time.

it's merlin that keeps himself closed off, locks everything away because he thinks it'll keep arthur safe & happy. it's the choices merlin makes at his most isolated that doom arthur in the end.

that's what i think the ending is trying to say.

to save someone, it's not enough to sacrifice yourself, to choose them over your well-being every time as it quietly kills you. because if you love someone enough to die for them, you should take a chance. do the scary work of being honest, and brave the uncertainty that follows. you've got a lot of good reasons for staying silent, but if they're worth dying for, they should get a say in it, too.

[dontbelasagne]

decided to watch Merlin in its entirety for the first time, and having gotten over halfway now i initially was quite annoyed at how they had written these characters. Merlin leading Morgana down the path of (almost cartoonish) evil by simply not being more open with her about magic, arthur being lead to feel more antagonistic towards magic rather than encouraging a more nuanced understanding, and many more examples of characters becoming tropes rather than having depth.

but now I've come to appreciate the best part of this show. that these characters are both deeply flawed, and in being so desperately protect who and what they care for. they commit and they act for the hope that those they love can simply have another day to decide for themselves. to encourage or to resolve yourself to a certain fate is defying the very chaotic nature of this world. yet the systems of Uther and Camelot constricts free choice by making a moral fallacy of magic, a fundamental aspect of both people and nature itself. they are all doomed, knowing nothing could be earned from sacrifice, only equally bloody war. you play your part, because if you dont, you die knowing you did nothing.

[missconchshell]

Thank you Merlin for always being there for me. This is a fandom that I always find myself coming back to. Whether it be after a fight or a rough day, just thinking of these stupid, lovely characters brings me so much joy. And even if the show doesn't cross my mind for months on end, as soon as I find myself in a hyperfixation drought, Merlin somehow pops up to drag me right back in every single time. I'm so thankful that this fandom is still bursting with content, even after all these years. It's amazing to think of how many people are all united by this story that touched all of us in some way.

[sapphickittykatherine]

a reminder that The Darkest Hour comes just before Merlin Buries Lancelot in the soundtrack. the darkest hour was lancelot's death. it was the moment everything went wrong. it was the moment merlin and gwen and arthur broke irreparably. merlin lost his greatest source of unconditional love, gwen lost her first love, and arthur lost his first and most loyal knight. all of them fought for him and all of them lost him regardless. then everything goes to hell.

[justaz]

like i’ve said time and time again, i haven’t watched bbc merlin in years but i was just wondering when the first time merlin called arthur by his name to his face and im scrolling thru the transcripts on the fandom wiki (supposedly it was s1ep4 btw) and im skimming the script for all these episodes and getting angrier and angrier. gaius was wrong for all that. morgana deserved so much better. edwin muirden was valid as hell (for targeting uther AND gaius. yeah. i said it.). also kilgharrah ate with that one lil line “then turn a blind eye. that is, after all, your talent” okay lizard brain pop offff.

[dollopole]

I should find another hobby

Anyway, if Merlin was set in modern times, Arthur would have called Merlin his “gay awakening”.

[merlins-strawberriesandroses]

TO be honest. I don’t understand what it means when people say Merlin was Arthur’s bane. Mayhaps I misunderstand but. Arthur was a bit of an assassination magnet (not to mention all those magical creatures and bandits... so many bandits), and Merlin actively prevented Arthur's death for years, which would have occured without him anway in the very first episode. I can see why one might argue that Merlin was just delaying the inevitable, or that he didn't succeed in keeping Arthur safe until Arthur could enact the golden age, but certainly I don’t see how he could have been Arthur’s bane.

Also, it’s implied in the last episode that the golden age does occur, but under Guinevere. Which makes sense as she knew Merlin was the sorcerer and that she was pleased about it (and I recall it was confirmed in interviews), so I also don’t follow the twin train of thought that Merlin was his own bane or even Camelot’s. Camelot was already bane-d(?) under Uther. But partly because of Merlin's steady friendship, Arthur matured into a king who was kinder than his father. He also actively sought magic's aid on multiple occasions, so he knew magic had potential for good (like healing his queen) without Merlin needing to tell him about his magic.

I don't think it's fair to say Camelot's laws on magic remaining relatively static was because no one close to Arthur came out as having magic. There was still much risk in that, and for Merlin a lot at stake, not just his life. A law change was still possible (and almost seemed to be set up that way) without Arthur needing someone he was personally close to having to do the work to humanize it for him (in the sense that the episodes with the druids, the druid boy with Elyan, and the dolma seemed like they were pointing to a law change because Arthur sees the diversity of magic and those who have it).

At worst Merlin’s efforts didn’t change the status quo, but we do have things indicating that they did. And Merlin was not single-mindedly serving Arthur at the expense of everyone else. He saved Camelot as a whole multiple times. He was also very willing to stick out his neck for many others even during the height of his anxiety and agitation in season 5. (Also only being slightly silly when I say this, but he was also THE wingman for Arthur when he was getting with Gwen, so in a way Merlin’s help led to their courting being a success and thus contributed to her being in a great position to change the laws. so personally I give points to Merlin for that). Most of the decisions centering Arthur's safety seemed to stem from the fear that Albion would crumble before it began if Arthur were to die, so he tried his best to prevent that from happening in any way he knew. (Like, when Arthur is dying, Merlin asks "So I failed?" regarding the whole golden age thing, which I think is telling that the prophesy and his role in it was still VERY much at the forefront of Merlin's mind).

And this is a digression but I know people think Merlin should have done more for Camelot, or for folks with magic (like, as a revolutionary or something akin), which I understand but no one reached out to network with him really? It'd require resources, people (always confused why there weren't a whole bunch more folks offering Merlin material/intellectual/emotional support if they thought he should be the one to bring about the golden age. all he was told was that the forseen way it actually happens succesfully is through Arthur), time (I doubt it’d have been much of a ‘quicker’ way necessarily), and incredible planning + foresight if it's meant to be something that works out effectively + long-term. Okay I think I've digressed enough now. This is a whole seperate thought that I don't think I'm gonna do any justice here lol, and I'm already rambling, so I'll stop now :,)

But anyway, in terms of being his own or Arthur’s bane, we know Arthur will return, and we don’t know how Merlin spent his years. His magic can play with time and maybe he learns how to control that, or he could have entered a stasis like in various legends, etc etc etc. And I mean it is tragic on many levels, and it’s sad we didn’t see Arthur’s arc completed, and that Merlin sacrificed so much for a goal that didn't get much acknowledgment by the show at the end, but still. I don’t think Merlin was Arthur’s bane, or Camelot’s, or his own.

[kateis-cakeis]

You know, something something Arthur desperately wanted to see the good in magic at any opportunity he was given.

When Gwen was first accused, when he first met Morgause, when he wanted to save Uther using magic, when he saved the woman from being burnt in that small village, when he was given a choice by the Disir, when he was determined to save Gwen from Morgana's dark magic...

(Honourable mentions include when he saved Mordred and argued with Uther about the Druids being peaceful (they are magic adjacent after all) - and well, given the second honourable mention being his remorse for the raid on the Druid camp when he was young, it's understandable that it comes from some sort of trauma. And of course, the result of that remorse was the promise that he would do everything to prevent it ever happening again, and that he would treat the Druids with respect. Hell, even with Kara he was respectful, even though she committed actual literal treason in the form of an attempted assassination of Camelot's king)

Of course, at every opportunity, Arthur's view that there is good in magic, that not all sorcerers are evil, that perhaps his father was wrong, or that his father had lied, ends up being proven wrong, at least in his eyes.

Time and time again Arthur is shown to consider magic as a more neutral force, like almost as if he's desperate for it to be true. It isn't even necessarily his fault that the opinions about magic and sorcerers that Uther taught him becomes reinforced once again.

The fact that he can even think critically about magic at all is a miracle alone. Like this man who has only ever known sorcerers to use magic for evil purposes, to destroy Camelot, attempt to assassinate him, attempt to assassinate his father, to harm those he cares about - and yet he still he still falls back on, what if magic can be good, what if we're wrong, what if, what if, what if--

And it's only when magic itself reveals himself to Arthur that he can finally see that yes, magic can be good.

Because if Merlin is good, if Merlin is the same person even with magic, then magic is neutral, and sorcerers aren't inherently evil.

Arthur was always going to accept magic, that's the thing, that's hardcoded into his character, he just needed the right push, and that push was always going to be Merlin.

Because as Arthur dies in Merlin's arms, blanketed by magic itself, he accepts that even with all of Merlin's magic, his life cannot be saved, magic cannot save him.

But he accepts it, and accepts Merlin, and he dies having brought about all that Merlin ever dreamt of, truly dreamt of, that Arthur would see him for him, and accept him and his magic. And more than that, what Arthur truly ends up doing is embracing it.

Arthur for whatever reason, perhaps because he was born of magic, perhaps because his soulmate is magic itself, perhaps because he has a heart of gold, wanted to see the good in magic at any given opportunity that presented itself, even though with all that Uther taught him, he never should have seen it that way.

It's just, it's so fascinating, and it's so heartbreaking that when he finally knew, he died. But he'll return, and I'm sure then he can build something better with Merlin, really bring magic back to a time that needs it :)

[achillesuwu]

THERE IS ONLY ONE FIC TAGGED "OLD GWEN"!?!?!!

Well

Time to make my own food.

GWEN IS GOING TO BE OLD (well at least in mind, I'm not bringing her back so she can die after walking 2 second lol) IN MY POST RETURN FIC JUST WATCH ME 🫵 SHE IS 80 AND LIVED A LONG LIFE. SHE IS GOING TO LOOK AT ARTHUR AND ELYAN WITH SUCH AN OLD GRIEF. SHE IS GOING TO MEET HER GREAT GREAT GREAT... GRAND KID!!!!