#batmom harley quinn

[waynzel]

I need more mamabat Harley interacting with the Batkids.

Like, she and Bruce go together to refectory but it’s just gonna be adorable when she interacts with the others.

-@azrael-2

YESSS lord i LIVE for batmom harley, truly my life blood.

from saving jason from joker in white knight

to havin a lil heartfelt moment with damien

to the banter she has with tim and dick

not to mention her bestie/mentorship w cas in the bop movie (as ooc as cas was)

she has a few interactions with alfred too, (although its more across pages than single panels)

like shes SO step-mom coded i need more interactions with the bat kids, she's such a sweetie

[alisonwritesimagines]

Wayne Family Garden ~Batmom Imagine~

Summary: Your plan on growing a garden. However, you don’t have a green thumb. Luckily, you know someone who does.

Author’s Note: I'm obessed with the Wayne Family Adventures on WebToons. Like you don't know how obsessed I am with them.

BatFamily Masterlist

Reader’s Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: fluff, Poison Ivy and Harley know the Batfam's identies (its canon)

Side Note: This is a secondary blog. If you comment a question down below, I will not answer since this is not the main blog. Please send the question to my inbox if you want a response back!

Do not repost this anywhere!

"What do you think Alfred?"

"I think having a lemon tree could really benefit the garden and our groceries," Alfred tells you.

"Maybe we can have an apple tree too?" You said.

"Sounds delightful. And Master Bruce agreed to your garden?"

"Yup. Said we can have it on the side in the backyard. And we can grow whatever we want," you smiled.

"We should start off small then," Alfred said.

"Right. So then a lemon tree, an apple tree, and carrots?" You asked.

"Sounds good to me," Alfred smiled.

You had been growing more bored around your home now that most of your kids were adults and had moved out of the mansion. So after seeing a good amount of gardening TikToks, you wanted to start your own little garden. But there was one slight problem, you didn't know how to garden.

So there was one person you could think of who could help you start off. You didn't want to bother Alfred more than what he has to deal with so you used your husband's technology to find a certain someone.

The apartment complex looked a little run down but yet again, you knew this was where they would be laying low. You knocked on the front door, only to see Harley Quinn opening it up.

"Mrs. Wayne? Whatcha doin here?" Harley asked you.

"Hiya, Harley. I'm looking for Ivy. Is she around?" You asked.

"Yeah. What's going on?" Harley asked.

"Harley. Who is it?" You heard Ivy ask.

"It's Y/n Wayne! Batman's wife!" Harley said excitedly.

"Hi, Ivy. I came here to ask for a favor," you tell her.

"Uh sure. What's up?" Ivy asked.

"I am currently planting a garden at my home but the problem is, I don't know how to garden. I was wondering if you can help me out," you asked her.

"Don't you have a butler who also knows how to garden?" Ivy asked.

"Yes but I don't want to bother him more than my family already has. And besides, I need more females around the house," you mentioned.

"What are you trying to grow?" Harley asked.

"I would like to start off with a lemon tree, an orange tree, and an apple tree. But I know those take a couple years to grow but I would like to begin growing carrots, tomatoes, and green beans as well," you tell her.

"Those are good to start off with," Ivy mentioned.

"Thanks. So will you come by my house with me and help me get started? I have the tools and everything to start off," you asked her.

"Yeah. My schedule is clear for today," Ivy shrugged.

"Thank you! Harley! You can come over too," you invited.

"Oh sweet!"

Whenever it was a light night, meaning that there was barely crime for once in Gotham, the whole family would get together for dinner. However, they were surprised to see two new comers joining you all in dinner.

"I expect you all to behave yourselves for the night. Ivy and Harley are my guests as they helped me with my garden today," you tell your family.

"Yes mom."

"And no hero or villain talk in the table. I would like a dinner where we can just eat like normal people for once," you say as you prepped the table.

During dinner, everyone ate peacefully but kept a close eye on Harley and Ivy. It was mainly you talking about the garden and your plans for it.

"What are you planning on growing in the garden ummi?" Damien asked you.

"I would like a lemon, orange, and an apple tree but I know those take a while to grow. But I'm also planning on growing some carrots, green beans, and tomatoes to start off," you say excitedly.

"Just make sure to follow the instructions I gave you," Ivy said.

"Of course. And I'll call you in case anything happens," you smiled at her.

The next few weeks, you were proud of your work. The trees were starting to form slowly but surely. You kept notes to check your progress as well as making sure everything was going smoothly. So it wasn't a surprise for the batfamily to see Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy come to their house every week to help check on your garden.

"They're growing good," Ivy tells you,

"Thank you!"

"If you want, I can help you speed up the process for the trees."

"I know I should wait but I do want to try baking an apple pie and make my own orange juice."

"As long as you keep maintaining it you should be fine."

"Mmm. Okay. Let's do it!"

Cassandra and Stephanie quickly rushed over to Harley's and Ivy's place with the bag from their mom. It had been a couple weeks since Ivy and Harley last visited you and your garden. Cassandra knocked on the door, waiting for one of them to answer.

"What do you kids want?" Ivy asked as she opened the door.

"wanted us to drop this off to you," Stephanie said as she handed her the bag. Ivy looked into it before smiling. A fresh apple pie along with a pitcher of orange juice and lemonade were placed in the bag.

"Tell her we said thank you."

"We will!"

"Let her know that if she wants to start something new, have her call me," Ivy tells the girls.

"We will!"

[charlotteking23]

Hi! Your stories are hilarious and amazing! I was wondering if you could write a story about Batmom secretly meeting with Gotham City Sirens (Selina Kyle, Harley Quinn, and Dr. Pamela Isley) and for a private girls night where they accidentally cause havoc (intense barfights (harley), impromptu jewelry store heists (Selina), shady alley deals (batmom), plants going crazy (Pamela), and massive amounts of sweets being "stolen" in metropolis (batmom had to stop the others from eating everything). All of which the batfam has to clean up. They follow the destruction and see what they think is batmom's ✨️Villain Debut✨️ (not really) so they go back to the manor and they stage an "intervention" for batmom. When she gets home bruce and her boys start scolding her and the Sirens for their behavior only for the girls to share a look and burst out laughing. They reveal that they were helping batmom get gifts for each of them. They went to that particular bar because they had a well aged vintage bottle of whisky that Alfred enjoys from time to time. The "shady alley deals" were from them going to a local seedy bookstore that had been open for over 100 years to get one of the only surviving copies of Jane Austen's complete works that she annotated herself. They went to that jewelry store because they were helping to make the remaining pearls of Martha Wayne's necklace into a set of cufflinks and a tie clip for Bruce, and to turn a few of Batmom's family heirloom peices into a ring that was secretly drawn by dick to propose to Kori with. They went to that confectionery because Conner mentioned they had the best coffee brew and an "espresso cake" made with extra strong espresso for Tim. That plant nursery had specific and highly nutritional feed and supplements products for Batcow, Titus, and Alfred the cat to keep them healthy. This makes them all tear up and wholesome fluff can happen.

Sorry for the length 😅 😬

Villian's Debut

Y/N slowly walked out of the house as quietly as possible, opening the manor gates and hoping in her car. She drove around the quiet streets of Gotham, it was night only those who were bad were up causing chaos in the city. It was easy to sneak out since the boys were out patrolling Gotham, and Alfred was sitting in the common room sipping his cup of tea.

Y/N drove to a secluded area parking her car near a warehouse. Upon entering she met up with the infamous Gotham City Sirens. It was a girl's night with Selina Kyle, Harley Quinn, and Dr. Palmela Isely.

"Y/n, your finally hear", Selina Kyle said walking up to Y/n and hugging her sideways. "The sirens are back together", Harley said dragging Palmela's wrist and joining the hug. "guys we saw each other last week but as much as I enjoy the hug we have work to do.

Selina was driving in Y/n's car while Y/n was in the passenger seat turning on the radio. Harley and Palmela were in the back putting their hands in the air having the time of their life.

Their first stop was the bar, One of the best bars open in Gotham City. As they walked in all eyes were on them, I mean it was the infamous Y/n L/n, Selina Kyle, Harley Quinn, and Dr. Palmela Isely. The four girls walked up to the bar all sitting down and ordering.

Everything was going fine till "Hey baby, you want to go somewhere" " The guy said laughing with his equally ugly friend while holding a beer.

"Excuse me, Do you want to go I can beat the living shit out of you", Harley said standing up and drowning her drink in one go ready to take the guy down. "Babe, You're a girl you can't take us dow-" Harley took out her bat and whacked the guy in the face before the guy could finish his stupid sentence. She repeatedly hit him all over his body aiming straight for his dick. Selina was still sipping her drink while Y/n was taking a video as Palmela Isely cheered for Harley.

Yeah, so they got Kicked out of the bar but it's okay because Harley was literally about to kill the guy. Next, they went to the "Shady Alley deals".

Bruce p.o.v

"Guy's there's trouble at a bar?", Bruce said checking the alarm.

"why a bar out of everything, I mean at least do something interesting", Jason leans on Dick whining about how bored he is.

"Jason will you shut up", Damian said slapping him.

They made it to the bar entering they saw a man on the floor beaten up badly.

"Who the fuck could do this", Jason said watching Tim check the drunken man's pulse.

"he's fine but way too much alcohol in his body", Tim disgusted quickly wiping his hands on his pants.

"What happened"? Dick said but was astonished to hear a girl had done this because he was being a pervert.

"Go boss bitch", Damian said walking up to Bruce.

" They must have left already, I wonder where this girl went", Bruce questioned dragging the drunken body outside to the emergency care.

Girl's p.o.v

"Aww, this is so boring", Harley said leaning against the bookshelves.

The girls were at the shady Alley deals trying to buy Jane Austen's complete works that she annotated. But the guy refused to sell them this piece claiming it was too precious. I mean that's why it's called shady.

"Look we need this copy now, how about 2,000 for the whole copy", Batmom said with annoyance.

"look lady, these are valuable and you don't seem like the person to take care of them", the stupid guy said.

With a loud dramatic gasp, "Oh know you didn't", Poison Ivy said dramatically.

"he's in for it", Selina said filing her nails.

"Look I work day and night taking care of 4 children and one husband, this is the only time I get a day off so you better give. me. those. books. or else! and trust me you don't want to know what else is.", Batmom yelled grabbing the guy's collar and pulling him face to face with an angry batmom.

"here, take it pls don't hurt me", the guy said closing his eyes in fear.

"Thanks", Batmom said skipping with the books in her hand to the car.

Time Skip

"where to next", Selina said driving with one hand on the wheel and the other on her phone.

"Oh of course the jewelry store", Harley said pointing at the sign.

"Ok here's the plan Selina you go get the pearls", Batmom said looking at Selina.

"huh, why me"

"You are literally a cat, plus I am too clumsy, Harley too loud and Ivy refused to do it", Batmom said.

So Selina carefully went in through the roof slipping in where no one could see her. Walking through the store towards the back, she sees the pearls. She stops taking her white powder compact from the back of her pocket blowing some revealing lasers. If she stepped on one she could set off triggers of alarms. Manuering through them jumping over them, backflipping, crawling till she reached the glass box. opening she switched it out for a cat collar successfully taking the jewels.

Alarms are blaring, flashing red "Damn it", Selina hisses running away.

"what's that noise", poison Ivy says, covering her ears.

nevermind let's get out of here", Selina said hopping into the cars with the girls and driving away.

"here are the pearls", Selina says

"perfect", Batmom put them into a clip and some cufflinks.

Bruce p.o.v

"there's trouble at a jewelry store", Dick said driving towards the store.

As the boys came they saw the owner in complete panic.

"Thank goodness you're here Batman, some robbers took Matha Wayne's remaining pearl necklace", the owner said in a panic.

"The ones she died in", Batman's voice grew deeper laced with emotion only those who knew him deeply could tell.

"Let's look around B", Jason said looking around for clues.

Tim was trying to access the cameras during the robbery but as expected they were wiped out.

"cat hair", Batman said picking it up.

"This could only belong to one person", Damian said with a glare on his face.

"Oh, Batman they also took some other things, a diamond it was a heirloom from the L/N family, the owner said.

All the boys could think about was Y/n and how she would react to this news.

"We need to find these robbers before Ummi finds out", Damian said ready to beat the guys up.

Girls p.o.v

"How much candy are you going to eat Harley", Selina said but Harley only shrugged eating more.

Here they were at the confectionery, it was a small cafe but it looked so pretty pink, there was an outside patio and the inside looked like those 70's diner joints.

The girls sat down at a booth obviously Harley and Ivy sat together so Selina and Batmom were on the other side.

"H-hello, what c-can I get y-you, the waiter said in fear. I mean he is serving notorious criminals, he was shitting his pants.

"Hi, we need a coffee brew and an expresso cake please, Batmom said with the sweetest voice.

" Oh and a giant cake the biggest one!", Harley exclaimed. The waiter quickly nodded running away.

"Isn't that too much sugar, you are going to get a sugar high...again", Selina said crossing her arms and leaning back towards the booth.

"Remember last time, when you crashed right into the wall because you ate too much sugar", Ivy recalled laughing at the memories.

"H-here is your order t-too g-go, have a nice night", the waiter quickly left as we paid for the meal leaving a tip.

"how much did you leave"? Selina questioned as they left the cafe.

"$200", Batmom said shrugging and getting into the car.

The girl's final stop of the night was the plant nursery, It was a big white building, looking kind of spooky in the night.

"This feels like a scooby doo episode", Harley said walking with the girls.

"Okay Ivy we need highly nutritional feed and supplement products for Batcow, Titus, and Alfred the cat", Batmom said looking at all the machines and plants in the room.

As the girls walked they heard a strange growling noise, huddling together not because they were, definitely not. For comfort just in case, a crazy plant tried to eat them.

"come here plant...yes who's a good boy you are, yes you are", Ivysaid in a baby voice.

"she does the same baby voice batmom does with her kids", Selina said.

batmom protested but only got a yes you do face or the fucking lying face. Thinking now she did do the baby voice to her kids but they were all just so cute.

Harley suddenly screamed whinning she felt something touch her feet. No one paid attention and it still continued to flow Ivy. Suddenly a huge plant wraps its vines around Harley's mouth and legs dragging her away from the group.

"Hey, where's Harley", Selina said looking around.

All the girls screamed for Harley as they looked around in different areas.

Selina felt something and before she could attack the huge pant monster dragged her away. Only now there was batmom and Ivy left.

"Ivy what the fuck is going on", Batmom said but before Ivy could answer the plant monster appeared growling towards the girls.

the monster took hold of Batmom wrapping her in vines and trying to crush her. Ivy used her powers to fight it but before she could she saw a thorn.

"oh poor baby it's only hurt...oh you weren't trying to hurt anyone were you", Ivy said pulling the torn out trying to keep the plant monster calm.

After it was calm the monster let go of Batmom and cuddled Ivy. Batmom found Selina and Harley tied up, undoing the vines the three were weirded out to see the same plant monster who tried to eat them getting a belly rub by ivy.

"This was the best girl's night ever", Harley grinned hugging the girls in a group hug tightly.

Tonight was a roller coaster, but it was fun, especially with the girls. They got in trouble with the Authorities twice no doubt the infamous Batman and her kids had already heard about the incident. But it was a memory you look back on and laugh at, doing it with those you love.

Batmom signed slowly entering the dark mansion seeing that no one was awake.

Suddenly the lights came on frightening Batmom seeing all her kids and Bruce looking at her with disapproval in their eyes. It's like looking in a mirror.

"Hi, how was everyone's night?", Batmom said trying to diffuse the situation.

"Mom, you were out with the villains Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Selina Kyle again", Dick said crossing his arms in sadness.

"yes, but I had a good reason-, Batmom tried to explain but Bruce interrupted her.

"Y/n, you girls got in a bar fight and stole jewelry and other things", Bruce said trying to keep an emotionless expression. He couldn't believe his innocent wife could do all of this.

Soon all the kids started to talk at the same time, asking questions of all sorts. It was getting too much for Batmom wishing now she stayed with the girls for another hour or so.

"kids, you give the girls a chance to explain what happened", Alfred said as you gave him a grateful nod.

you took a deep breath before sharing a look with the Sirens before laughing out loud with the girls all clutching your stomachs.

They reveal that they were helping Batmom get gifts for each of them. They went to that particular bar because they had a well-aged vintage bottle of whisky that Alfred enjoys from time to time.

The "shady alley deals" were from them going to a local seedy bookstore that had been open for over 100 years to get one of the only surviving copies of Jane Austen's complete works that she annotated herself.

They went to that jewelry store because they were helping to make the remaining pearls of Martha Wayne's necklace into a set of cufflinks and a tie clip for Bruce and to turn a few of Batmom's family heirloom pieces into a ring that was secretly drawn by dick to propose to Kori with.

They went to that confectionery because Conner mentioned they had the best coffee brew and an "espresso cake" made with extra strong espresso for Tim.

That plant nursery had specific and highly nutritional feed and supplement products for Batcow, Titus, and Alfred the cat to keep them healthy.

"see you big goofs all this was a big misunderstanding all the things we did were for you tonight", Batmom said to her family with tears in her eyes holding all the girl's hands.

"Don't worry Ma I never doubted you for a minute, Jason said smiling at his Ma.

"Really, Because when you first heard about Mother Time with the SIrens you were crying out that your Mother betrayed me", Tim said looking smugly.

Jason only huffed at Tim crossing his arms in annoyance before Damian came up and hugged his Ummi burying his head in her chest.

When Damian released his Ummi, Bruce walked up to his wife kissing her with so much passion. Bruce couldn't believe his wife did all of this for him and his kids. Oh, how he loves her.

"I love you", Bruce said quietly for only her to hear.

"I love you more", Batmom whispered back pecking his lips.

"Heyyy, who's up for a sleepover", Harley said shouting while hugging the sirens.

Oh Boy

[ela-draws]

Just realised I never posted all my DC doodles

about a 2 years ago I got overly obsessed with Batman, batfam and DC and obviously I created a Batmom OC: Bel Wayne ! So I have a LOT of content (yes her older design is entirely based on Princess Diana ...). Be indulgent this is super old

[klwrites]

Hi!

Huge superhero fan for 7 years, haven’t written fanfic in awhile but I miss it 😚 so please send requests!

Currently writing for…

Dick Grayson

Damian Wayne

Jason Todd

Bryce Wayne

Diana Prince

Harley Quinn

Poison Ivy

Peter Parker

Wanda Maximoff

Natasha Romanoff

I write mostly one shots! Working on some stories now though, so stay tuned…

Feel free to ask for anything/ anyone I didn’t list!

[melloollem]

DC Masterlist

BATFAMILY

Heardcannon

Problem with your relationship|| Batboys × No reader gender

Summary: What would you say is the problem in your relationship with them.

You're no good to me|| Batboys × No reader gender

Summary: Your relationship is wrong, you're not doing each other any good and you need to find a way to cope.

Evolution of touch||Batboys × No reader gender

Summary: What physical contact with them would be like in a relationship.

Gossip|| Batboys × batsis!reader

Summary:How every batboy gossips.

Bruce Wayne

Nights in the family||Bruce Wayne × Batmom reader × Batboys

Summary: Your children keep you company after patrol until your husband arrives.

Be Batman|| Bruce Wayne × No reader gender

Summary: Bruce must return to Gotham, it was his duty to save the city. He just wishes it didn't have to cost him leaving you.

Family Conflicts|| Bruce Wayne × batmom Fem! reader × (Platonic) Jason Todd

Summary: Bruce mulls over the guilt he feels after a fight with Jason, you're the one who advises him and tries to sort things out.

Secrets in the family|| Bruce Wayne × Batmom reader × Batboys

Summary: Your children start an interrogation after noticing that you were hiding papers from them.

Trash|| Bruce Wayne × child!reader (prologue)

Trash ll|| Bruce Wayne × child!reader

Summary: In a city where survival is your main objective, you do whatever it takes, including getting involved in Gotham's criminal world

Richard "Dick" Grayson

Soon...

Jason Todd

Old love young|| Jason Todd × No reader gender

Summary: Jason's jealousy over his best friend rekindles old feelings.

Giving you hel|| Jason Todd × No reader gender

Summary: After discovering that you were responsible for his resurrection, you and Jason Todd have an argument that results in the end of the relationship.

Before The Great Fall|| Jason Todd (Robin) × No reader gender

Summary: You and Jason have become friends because you have a habit of walking around the city at night and Robin has a habit of taking you home.

"I thought I'd be the last person you'd ever let him hurt."|| Jason Todd × No reader gender

Summary:Jason's death meant nothing, your death meant nothing. He had lost so much and for no reason.

Casual|| Jason Todd × Male reader

Summary: Jason doesn't know if you were dating, but if you were, you weren't being loyal

Timothy "Tim" Drake

We should date|| Tim Drake × No reader gender × Conner kent

Summary: It was obvious you liked each other, someone just needed to assume.

Hurricane|| Tim Drake × fem reader

Summary: Tim on the end of a troubled relationship.

Damian Wayne

Cat and bird||Damian Wayne × No reader gender

Summary: You, like your mother, try your luck on one of Gotham's hunting nights.

Loyal to the blood||Damian Wayne × Male reader

Summary: You were created as a servant of the League to protect Damian. Your bond is severed after Damian takes over as Robin. On a disastrous mission, you are forced to deal with the emotional conflicts that the loss of the boy has had and deal with the fact that he now stands before you after years. 

Harley Quinn

Soon...

Selina Kyle

Soon...

SUPERS

Heardcannon

Soon...

Conner Kent

We should date|| Tim Drake × No reader gender × Conner kent

Summary: It was obvious you liked each other, someone just needed to assume.

[bluebellhairpin]

fans of 'The Adventures of Batmom'! (or just batmom fans in general) - I have a question for you!

Thank you so much for your votes! Feel free to drop into my ask box if you really like a particular idea, or have one you'd like to suggest for the future!

[lazydoodlesandfanfic]

Harley Quinn Show Universe Au

Harley: “Ugh where’s Death! It’s not like her to be late! It’s a girls night out!”

Ivy: “I don’t know maybe she’s busy torturing someone or maybe she designing a new dress outta of human skin from her victims? Look I’ll called her to see what’s up.” *calls Black Death*

Meanwhile in Wayne Mansion

*Buff Batmom and Bruce making out in his bedroom*

*Batmom phone ringing*

Batmom: “Ugh, *picks up phone* “Ignored.”

Bruce: “Who was it?”

Buff Batmom: “Who cares?” *pulls Bruce into another kiss*

Ivy: ….”She’s totally fucking Batman.”

Harley: “Totally.”

She shows up an hour later in the middle of a battle.

Ivy: Oh look who decided to show up?

Harley: Were you fucking Bats?

Batmom: What else would I prioritize over murder with my favourite gals?

[sxvenz]

dc masterlist.

bat family.

bruce “batman” wayne

richard thomas “dick / nightwing” grayson

jason peter “red hood” todd

timothy john “tim / red robin” drake

damian “robin” al ghul wayne

duke “the signal” thomas

cassandra “orphan” cain

“batmom”! reader (platonic)

villains.

floyd “deadshot” lawton (comic)

harleen “harley quinn” quinzel (comic)

harley quinn vs. punchline

jack “the joker” napier (tdk)

jonathan “scarecrow” crane (bb)

lex luthor (bvs)

pamela “poison ivy” isley (comic)

selina “catwoman” kyle (comic)

heroes.

barry “the flash” allen (comics)

koriand’r “starfire” (comics)

roy “arsenal” harper (comics)

… … …

[writing-blog-iguess]

Harley Quinn

Summery: The batfamily hears three stories about batmom and Harley. How they met, how they started dating, and how they ended.

Warning: fluff, angst.

A/N: This bish is 4847 words. I did not mean to write that much.

Man, the amount of love I got from Stories...I'm so happy people enjoyed it. So, I hope you enjoy this one just as much.

Feedback is welcome! And feel free to let me know who or what kind of story of Batmom you want to see next.

-------

There were only two weeks left of summer, and she wanted to move onto campus as soon as possible. But her friend, Selina, had made it a little difficult for her. On the first day the campus was allowing their students to come, Selina had come over and stopped her from packing. And they spent the day together shopping, seeing a movie and eating. Selina ended up crashing at her place after they had binged a show.

When she started packing the next day, Selina did the same. But after a promise of hanging out when she was settled in her dorms, Selina conceded and helped with the packing. And after some whining and pizza, Selina came with her to campus to help as well.

Struggling to keep the heavy box in her hands, she made her way towards her dorm. “You can help me, you know,” she grunted, shifting the box as it was slipping out of her arms.

“I am,” Selina said, holding up a couple of garbage bags full of clothes. “My hands are just full to help you carry your box.”

“You’re funny,” she deadpanned. Selina flashed her a smile, to which she returned one of her own.

“And that’s why you love me.”

“No, no I don’t think that’s it,” she mused, looking at each dorm number. “I think I love your cat more. And that’s why we’re friends.”

Selina gasped mockingly, and bumped her shoulder. “I knew it!” She laughed just as she found her dorm room.

Fishing out her key from her pocket, she handed it to Selina and waited until Selina opened the door. The minute she walked through the door, she was eloped in a hug. It caught her by surprise that she dropped the box she was holding.

“Hiya! I’m your new roommate!”

“And they were roommates,” Dick gasped out, interrupting the story.

“Oh my god, they were roommates,” Tim finished, and three out of the four boys burst out laughing.

“You two are hilarious,” she said, slumping into her chair. They had just finished dinner when the boys started bombarding her with questions about her and Harley. And after teasing them a little about which story. She started with how she met her ex-fiancé.

“Are you two done?” Bruce asked, and the laughter slowly downed a little. Until they caught each other’s eyes, and it started again.

Damian rolled his eyes, and turned to his mother. “I didn’t know you and Selina were in a relationship,” he said, and that had caused Dick, Jason and Tim to stop and look at her.

“No, no we weren’t dating,” she answered, shaking her head. “I didn’t know my sexuatilty until I started dating Harley.”

“And how long did that take?” Jason asked, rolling his cup on the table.

She blew out a puff of air and sighed. “When we were twenty-one. Even then I needed help.”

“I don’t think I’ve heard this one,” Bruce said with a smile. She flushed in embarrassment and looked away before recalling the story.

——

“Pumpkin,” her roommate sang from the other side of the room. She hummed, blinking at her homework trying to keep awake. She was currently laying on her stomach with her chin sitting on her hand. “Maybe you should take a break. You’ve been at it for hours.”

“Pft, I’m fine,” she answered, though the words were starting to blur together. “Hey!” she said, as Harley yanked the book from her. “I need that.”

“And you need a break,” she pressed, closing the book with a snap. “Come on Pumpkin, let’s get something to eat.”

She pouted trying to grab her textbook. Harley giggled and held it out of her reach. “Harley,” she whined, “the test I'm studying for is supposed to cost half of my grade.”

“You should know that taking care of your body is more important than school, doctor,” Harley teased. She stuck her tongue out, causing Harley to poke it. “Come on, we’ll go to your favourite café.”

She lit up and quickly got out of bed, almost tripping on her feet doing so. Harley laughed and tossed the book onto the bed. “You gotta be more careful, pumpkin.” She made a face, and grabbed her stuff before the two of them left their apartment.

She looped her arm through Harley’s as they walked. Talking about everything and nothing that came to mind. On occasion, she would check her phone, hoping for any messages from Bruce. But there were none.

She hasn’t spoken to Bruce since the last time they hung out, and she wondered if it was something that she did. Though the thought was ridiculous. They’ve only met up a handful of times since he’d been back. And even then, she couldn’t think of a reason why he was avoiding her.

The only thing she could think of was their first conversation they had together. But that was back when he first arrived in Gotham.

Bruce had found the apartment she was sharing with Harley, and decided to pay her a visit before the tabloids caught wind of him being back.

It had caught her by surprise when Harley called, saying there was a billionaire holding pizza. Confused on what she meant, she rounded the corner to find Bruce Wayne standing in her hallway.

After giving him a hug, and a little catch up, the three of you spent the night hanging out. And it felt like nothing had changed between the two of you.

It wasn’t until Harley had gone to bed, that Bruce told you everything that happened since leaving Gotham when he was fourteen. He told you how his training had gone, and all the people he’s met.

It was one thing reading about them through Bruce’s letters. But it was a different experience hearing them from Bruce. When he had finished, he told her it was time to start fixing Gotham his way.

With a sigh, she had hoped that he had changed his mind. Instead of talking him out of it, she suggested waiting a little bit before doing so. Make Bruce Wayne into a public figure, or more then he already is. And then have his second persona make an appearance. Only so people didn’t connect that the two were related.

That had been two months ago. And sure, she’s been busy with school and midterms were just around the corner, and Bruce was busy running a company and….well, being a playboy from what she’s read in magazines. She didn’t read the articles, it hurt a little reading them.

And he was also busy with being Batman. She laughed at the name the media had dubbed him, it almost made her call him up just to tease him about it. But she refrained from doing so. She was unsure where she fit in his new life, and at this point she was too afraid of the answer to ask.

When they arrived at the café, she found a table for them while Harley ordered.

Harley looked over the rim of the coffee cup in her hand when her friend sighed again. “You’re in love with Bruce!” Harley accused.

She dropped her bagel on her plate and stared at Harley in shock. “I am not!”

“You totally are! You keep checking your phone like your love sick, waiting for someone to call you.”

“I am not in love with Bruce,” she stuttered out, “why would I be? He left to go to school abroad, and shows up eight years later! And so what if I thought about him during those years, and was worried about him. That’s what friends do, they worry about them. It’s not like I noticed how much he’s changed or dream about holding his hand or...or kissing him or…or...” she trailed off as she thought back to all the times her heart hammered in her chest when he smiled at her.

Or all the times Bruce made her blush. She thought back to how she smiled when she saw Bruce’s letter in the mail, or how happy she felt as she read them. Or how relieved she felt when she saw Bruce in her apartment or how hurt she was when she saw him with different girls every night.

Then she thought about all that when she was with Harley. Could she be in love with Harley too? But she quickly dismissed it, thinking it wasn’t possible.

She slumped into her chair as Harley set her mug down, and smirked at her in satisfaction. “Holy hell, I’m in love with Bruce Wayne.”

“There it is,” Harley said, giggling as she received a glare. “You’ve known Bruce since you guys were little, how is it only now that you're realizing this?”

“I don’t…” she trailed off, hands picking up her cup. She twirled it around the table as she tried to come up with the right words, “I’m not...when I can’t pick up the cues when it comes to stuff like that.”

“So someone has to tell you that they love you. Like your parents loving you,” Harley mused, she shrugged.

“I know they do and I can see that they love me. But for whatever reason, when it comes to romantic feelings, I have a blind eye,” she explained, letting the cup go in favour of pulling apart her muffin. She huffed out a laugh. “It’s funny. Back in high school there was this guy who asked me out on a date. But he didn’t use those words, he used ‘wanna hang out?’

“I said yes. It wasn’t until he kissed me that it was starting to click. Even then I didn’t fully understand. Selina told me what it was that I knew. I was so embarrassed I couldn‘t face him. I feel like there’s something wrong with me.”

Harley leaned over and took her hands, she stilled her hands and her eyes flitted up to Harley. And her heart stuttered as Harley looked at her. “Nothing’s wrong with you pumpkin. People process things differently, you just happen to need someone to tell you.”

Relief washed over her and she smiled. “Thanks, Hars.” Harley hummed and leaned back, letting go of her hand. She missed the warmth of Haley’s hands, but didn’t think anything of it, especially when she noticed a twinkle in Harley's eyes.

“So, are you going to tell Brucie?” Harley teased, she made a face and shook her head.

“No, I will not,” she said.

“But he might love you back!” Harley exclaimed, “pumpkin, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He looks at you like you hung the moon every night.”

“Even if that’s true, I don’t think it’ll work. At least not right now,” she mumbled, and quickly added when Haley gave her a confused look, “he’s not interested in anything serious right now.”

Harley nodded in understanding, and she looked away when she saw pity in Harley's eyes.

That weekend, she found herself in the school library with Harley and Jonathan doing homework. Harley had just left for drinks, leaving the two of them alone.

Jonathan looked up from his homework and studied his friend. She hunched over her books and tapped her pencil on her head as she was going over a question.

“Are you and Harley dating?” Jonathan blurted out. She froze and lifted her head to look at him in surprise.

“Excuse me?” she asked.

Jonathan raised an eyebrow at her reaction, and stifled a laugh. “I think you heard me.”

“Oh I heard. But what made you come to that conclusion?” she clarified, squinting her eyes at him.

“The way you two act around each other,” he explained, “you're all in love and shit. It’s a wonder you haven’t kissed yet.”

“I don’t….but I can’t….” she trailed off. The words weren’t coming and she wasn’t quite sure if she did or not. “Friends can act like that platonically!”

“That’s true. But with you two, it’s hard to tell. You both have heart eyes every time you either talk about each other, or just being in the same room.”

She stayed quiet, she didn’t have anything to say.

“You know, when Harley told me you process feelings differently than most people, I thought she was joking,” he mused, this time chuckling.

“It’s great to know you talk about me,” she deadpanned, setting down her pencil.

“But I’m serious, do you like her or not?” he asked, and she let her head drop on her textbook and groaned.

“I don’t know. The other day, Harley helped me discover I’m in love with my childhood best friend. And now you're making me question my feelings for Harley.”

Jonathan held up his hands in surrender, though she wasn’t paying attention. “Wasn’t my intent, I just figured you needed to know.”

“Thanks,” she said dryly, and lifted her hand and flipped him off. He laughed and gently patted her head.

“I’ll ask a question or two, maybe it’ll help.”

She nodded but kept her head on the table. Jonathan's smile grew wider, enjoying this a little bit too much.

“When you see her, what do you do?”

She took a moment to ponder the question. “My heart starts to beat faster and I can’t help but think how pretty she is. And I get all flustered when she gets really close or she gives me a compliment. And when she’s happy and smiling and laughing, and my butterflies explode in my stomach when that happens because I did that. And sometimes, when she’s pouting or just sad, I just want to pull her into a kiss.”

Jonathan raised an eye at her statement, and had no doubt that she was blushing. “What about Bruce?”

“The same thing! He winks my way and the next thing I know I’m a blushing mess. And when he gives me a certain look, it’s like I gave him everything and I melt and just want to kiss his stupid face! And I hate him for that, but not really and….hhhhh!”

“Damn,” Jonathan huffed out, staring at her. “You have it bad for both of them.”

“But I can’t love two people at once!” she exclaimed, getting shushed by other students. She paid them no mind, head racing on what she should do.

“Who says?” Jonathan asked, and she paused to think about it. “There's no rule saying you have to like one person at the time,” he continued when she didn’t answer. “Now the question is who are you going to pick? Bruce or Harley?”

“What if they both don’t love me?” she whispered, lifting her head up slightly. “What if it’s all in my head and they laugh if I tell them?”

“I don’t know about Bruce, but Harley won’t,” he answered, going back to his homework, “trust me.”

She spent the next week pondering over her conversations with Harley and Jonathan. And there were a few things she’s discovered.

She’s bisexual.

She’s really bad at feelings and seeing them for what they are. Though this wasn’t anything new, still she hated that she needed help when it comes to emotions.

If she did choose Bruce over Harley, it wouldn’t have worked out. Not only because of him being Batman, but because she didn’t see it as a long term relationship. And she didn’t want that.

And if she chose Harley over Bruce, she didn’t want to make Harley feel like she was second pick. She didn’t want that either.

By the weekend, she still doesn’t know what to do.

Sighing, she fell on her bed. She stared at the ceilings and groaned, pressing her palms to her eyes. “Why is this hard?”

“I don’t know pumpkin, maybe I can help?” Harley suggested, startling her. She sat up quickly and turned to see Harley leaning against the doorframe.

“Help me with what?” she asked, nervously laughing. Harley smiled and walked further in the room.

“Whatever you’re having trouble with,” Harley answered.

She sighed and fell onto the bed again, she took a pillow and hugged it to her chest. “I don’t think this is something you can help with,” she mumbled, closing her eyes.

She felt the bed dip, and felt Harley shift around until she stopped. “I could listen to you rant about it?”

She hummed, but shook her head. “It’s something I need to figure out.”

Silence fell around them as she thought. Harley brought her hand over her face and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. She tensed at the sudden touch, but soon relaxed into it.

“Does it have something to do with what you and Jonathan were talking about last week?” Harley asked after a moment.

Her eyes flew open and she stared at Harley, panicking a little. If Harley knew, there’s nothing she could say that wouldn’t be a lie.

“But I…did he tell you?” she asked, Harley nodded. She groaned and stuffed her face into the mattress. “Damnit.”

Harley giggled and slowly moved her face so they could look at each other. “If it helps any, I love you too.”

She flushed, and looked anywhere but Harley. “But I don’t want to make you feel like a second choice. I don’t want you to resent me because you know I love Bruce too.”

“Hey I won’t,” Harley reassured. Biting her lip, she shook her head. Harley sighed, and moved to press her forehead against hers. “Can I tell you a secret? I loved you before I knew you loved Bruce, and I still love you knowing that. I just hope you can give me a chance.”

She studied Harley for a moment before closing the distance and kissed her.

——

“Ew! Mom! Gross! We don’t need to hear about that!” Dick interrupted. She looked up to see her boys looking at her in disgust. Jason and Tim gagged mockingly as Dick shuddered.

“What? It was just a kiss,” she answered, amused.

“Yeah but you kissed Harley. And that means you’ve done more than kissing,” Jason said.

“You knew this when your father told you I was engaged to her.”

“It’s one thing thinking about it, it’s a whole different thing to hear it from you, Mom,” Tim said, leaning back into his chair.

She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Shrugging, she picked up her glass and took a sip.

“So Harley figured out you loved me before you did? And this after meeting me once,” Bruce asked, amused. She felt her cheeks burn and looked away.

“Wasn’t my proudest moment, but yes she did,” she said with a shrug.

“And she was okay with it?”

She nodded, smiling a little at the memory. “Yeah. She didn’t seem to mind too much about it. But I didn’t spend too much time being hung up on Bruce. I was too busy with Har-”

“Ma!” Jason exclaimed, stopping her from finishing the sentence.

“I wasn’t even going to say anything bad!” she defended.

“You went to school with Crane?” Damian asked. She turned her attention to the youngest and nodded.

“We had a few classes together, and Harley just sort of adopted him into the friend group,” she mused.

“What I can’t get over, is the fact that Crane had to tell you about your feelings for Harley,” Dick put out.

“Like I said, I have a hard time deciphering emotions. Especially when it comes to romantic feelings. But once I know, then I’m okay.”

“How long were you together before getting engaged?” Damian asked, though it was still hard to believe his mother had someone before Bruce.

“And who popped the question?”

She looked at the clock and back to the boys. “Doesn't the patrol start soon?” she asked. The boys looked at Bruce with their best puppy eyes. Well, Dick, Jason and Tim did, Damian seemed indifferent but Bruce could tell he wanted to hear the story as well.

“If it’s okay with your mother, we can listen to one more story,” he said, and she raised an eyebrow at her husband. “What?”

“And I thought I couldn’t say no,” she said with a mumble.

“Shut up,” he said, but smiled slightly.

“So Ma, what’s the story?”

Her hand went up to her necklace and started playing with it as she thought back. “We’ve been together for almost eight years before I asked her.”

——

She fell on the couch once she got home from the hospital. It had been a taxing day, and all she wanted to do was curl up with Harley and sleep until the morning. But they had dinner plans they needed to get to, and if everything turned out as planned, she and Harley would be engaged.

Over the years of dating, conversation of marriage would come up. Whether it be just then asking about it, or their friends. They both wanted it, but they silently agreed that they wouldn’t take it seriously until they both finished school.

Harley had already finished her last year of residency, and she was one you last year. Granted, she still had a month left, but she figured it would still count.

“Pumpkin, I’m home,” Harley called as she walked in.

“Living room,” she answered back. A moment later, Harley walked in the room and plopped beside her. Harley laid her head on her lap and sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Tiring day?”

Harley nodded and closed her eyes. “I know we had plans to go out, but can we stay in? Arkham really took me out.”

She scrunched her nose, her hands stopped moving. “I thought you didn’t start there until next week?”

“I did, but something happened with the inmates,” Harley answered.

“And they needed a psychiatrist?”

“Apparently some of the inmates needed help and they couldn’t wait until next week,” Harley said, and sighed happily when she resumed playing with Harley’s hair. “So can we stay in?”

“Yeah, we can. We can order take out and watch a movie or something,” she mused, trying to think of a new plan. “What do you want?”

“Chinese.”

She smiled and reached over, grabbing her phone and ordering food. Once finished, she set the phone before turning back to Harley. She stared at her loving, watching as Harley was slowly falling asleep.

“You’re staring,” Harley mumbled with a smile.

“I can’t help, you’re just too gorgeous to look at anything else,” she teased. Harley blushed and snuggled into her legs.

“Shut up.”

Thinking it’s the perfect time, she went for it. “Marry me?” Harley’s eyes flew open, and she quickly sat down and looked at her.

“What?”

“Marry me,” she repeated, smiling at the bewildered look Harley was giving her. “I know we talked about it a few times. And since I have a month left of residency, I figured why not. So, marry me?”

Harley looked at her for a minute before smiling widely, and threw her arms around her, laughing. “Of course I will, pumpkin!” Harley said, kissing her all over her face.

And just like that they were engaged.

As the months went by, they planned a wedding. They had decided who was going to be in the wedding party, where the venue would be, and who was going to cater for them. They just needed to book everything, but they weren’t going to do so until they picked out the wedding day.

And for a while everything was perfect. Up until Harley started seeing Joker as a patient. She didn’t see it, not a first. She took it as Harley having bad days or long tiring days at Arkham. And with doctor patient confidentiality, Harley couldn’t talk about their problems.

But Harley could tell her how the day went. If it was bad, she’d drop it and offer to make Harley's favourite foods.

Then Harley started to become distant. She would come home later than normal, and would snap for no reason. She had tried to get Harley to talk to her, but she wouldn’t. She kept saying she was fine and it had been a long day. It was worrying.

All at once, it stopped. Harley stopped talking to her, and stopped coming home.

She was out of her mind, worrying for Harley. She hoped her fiancée would come home. It was to the point that she went out and looked for Harley.

But Bruce had stopped her before she could leave the apartment.

She had found him waiting in her living room after a long shift at the hospital. It had startled her seeing Bruce dressed as Batman standing there, he cowl down.

She was about to greet him, but the sad, pitied expression Bruce had stopped her. “No, don’t…don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a step forward, she stepped back. “But something happened to Harley.”

She shook her head frantically, covering her mouth with her hands. “Nononono, she can’t have…please,” she begged, as Bruce wrapped her into a hug when he was close enough.

“I’m sorry, but Joker got into her head,” he started, tightening his grip as she choked back a sob. “Convinced her that they were meant for each other. Made her fall in the chemicals he fell into. She’s alive, but she isn’t Harley anymore. Not the one you knew anyways.”

She broke down crying before Bruce finished his sentence. She clung to him like a lifeline as the words sunk in.

She expected to hear that Harley died, that someone had killed her. Not this. But this? This was so much worse.

——

A heavy silence fell once she finished. She was clutching the ring that was threaded on a chain. It helped keep the tears at bay. She didn’t want to cry, not now, not after so many years.

“The next day, Bruce told me the full story,” she whispered, and grimaced as the fight flashed before her. “We fought. Okay, I yelled and he just took him. I said some things I shouldn’t have and I avoided him for a while.”

“I remember that,” Dick said, leaning onto the table. “Bruce looked heartbroken during that time. And every time I tried to ask what happened, he shut me down. Even at gala’s when you were there, he looked like he wanted to go and talk to you.”

Bruce looked at him in surprise. Dick was only eight when that happened, he didn’t think he was paying attention.

On the other hand, she felt guilt crawling in her stomach, and slouched into her chair. She hid her face in her hands when Dick continued.

“That falling out thing happened for a few years, didn’t it?” he asked. She opted to stay quiet, letting Bruce answer the question.

“Three or four years, yeah.”

Tim was about to ask what had happened, but Jason nudged him and shook his head. Tim gave him a look, and Jason gestured to their mom, practically saying I don’t think she wants to talk about it.

“Sorry for bringing up the past Ummi,” Damian said softly. “We didn’t know.”

Rubbing her face to get rid of stray tears, she dropped her hands onto the table. “That’s okay sweetie. I wouldn’t have told you anything if it still hurts.”

“So, how’d you fix your friendship with Bruce?” Jason asked. She shook her head and stood.

“Bruce can tell you,” she said, stretching, “I have the night shift tonight. And I need to get ready.”

With that she left her boys staring at Bruce, waiting.

“It’s time for patrol,” he gruffed out and followed his wife. The boys groaned, saying that wasn’t fair.

“Are you okay?” he asked when he reached their bedroom. He leaned against the doorframe, watching her quickly change and grabbed her stuff before pausing. She clutched her keys and sighed.

“Honestly? I don’t know,” she sighed, dropping her shoulders. “After ten years, it still hurts. Not as much as it did, but still.”

Bruce nodded, and pushed off the frame and wrapped his arms around her. Holding her close. “I’m sorry again for everything.”

“You know I don’t blame you anymore, you don’t need to apologize for it.”

“Feels like I have too. You don’t deserve to have gone through that.”

“No one does but life sucks that way,” she said, giving him a smile. “I have to go.”

Bruce frowned, tightening his hold a little. “I wish you didn’t.”

“I’m a doctor Bruce, but I’ll be careful,” she said, reaching up to kiss him. “You be careful too tonight.” He nodded and dropped his arms and watched as she left the room.

“I love you,” he called. She popped her head back in and smiled.

“I love you too.”

Running out of the manor and to her car, she didn’t notice a figure standing in the distance. Harley signed as she watched, glad that her ex-lover found happiness again. And promised she’d do whatever it took to keep it that way.

[waynzel]

harleybat parenting dynamic is harley good cop, bruce bad cop.

the bat kids + lucy always going to harley first to ask for permission for anything knowing she's more likely to say yes bc she's less strict but also for the hell of it (altho she does know when to out her foot down she's no pushover, the kids wont agree). it's a trade off for them tho bc she's more likely to ask to join them too and she just seems so excited how can they say no to batmom wanting to spend time w her kids ):

harley cutting in on bruce's lectures to tell him to lighten up bc they are still just kids. bruce veto'ing harley's more deranged plans but mostly just puts rules and a curfew in place, telling them to call every few hours.

the batkids lying to bruce's face about things harley's fully aware of knowing she'll cover for them, even if she grounds them herself.

bruce: i've told you are before neither of you are to go to the watch tower without notifying me or your mother after your last stunt

damien: but ummi was at the watch tower!

lucy: she was!

tim: yeah, we just wanted to hang out!

harley, who absolutely was not there: we were bonding🥺

bruce being extremely proud of harley when the kids royally screw up cos the only time she's every actually mad is when they get themselves hurt. the kids realise when she's genuinely mad mamabat harley is far scarier than bruce could ever hope to be.

and seeing even the big bad red hood cower under her disapproving gaze, maybe bruce is even a bit smug

[thedarkknightswife]

🐱Batman Don't Eat🐱

Inspired By recent discourse over whether or not Bruce Wayne can drink cream.

Pairing: Nicola Holden (OC Batmom insert) & Bruce Wayne. Past BatCat & Brutalia

TW: oral, satire of Harley Quinn show (if you're a fan plz don't get offended).

Being on the top trending pages was nothing new for Bruce. He had his own business to mind over trite gossip and libellous slander. But lately he was disturbed by a controversy caused by reboot of his childhood show The Gray Ghost - or what he thought until he learned the Ghost wasn't even the main character - that caused him more trouble in a few days than Joker had in years.

Entire sites even the news was asking one simple yet vulgar question: Can the Gray Ghost eat pussy? According to the idiot behind the libellous slander they had thought about adding an intimate scene between him and one of Ghost's female villains involving oral, but was cut out due to the studios' desire to shill a friendlier image of their moneymaker.

"I think he can," Nicola said at breakfast, nearly causing Bruce to spit out his drink. "He's an adult right? Shouldn't be that much of an issue."

"Sex is not an appropriate topic to discuss at breakfast Nicky," Bruce chastised her as he wiped his mouth. "We're talking about the Gray Ghost here, there's more to him than just sex. Clearly these people have no respect for his character!" He knew it was silly to get so frustrated but Gray Ghost was his icon and he was damned to sit back and watch his good name be dragged by discourse.

"I mean the cartoon is based on you, I'm sure they must've taken inspiration from your exploits," replied Nicola. There was something in her voice that suggested envy.

"If that's the case they should cancel that garbage. 'Sides, the last thing I need is everyone dissecting my sex life," Bruce grumbled before shoving some bacon into his mouth.

The social worker gazed at his lips for a moment and tilted her head on her hand. Bruce practically saw the question lingering in her mind; 'Can you eat pussy?'

Can he? Of course he has! Plenty of times with Selina and Talia. The former would certainly find all of this amusing; the times he went down on her she made jokes about cats liking milk. Talia enjoyed the act as well, vocal and jumpy, but she obviously didn't enjoy having to call him early this morning, pointedly concerned over how scandal could affect Damian's social life.

Oral wasn't his biggest kink but he did like it enough. The only person he hadn't done it on was Nicola.

Oooooh....now he realized it.

The constant gears picking up in his head, Bruce leered over at her with the smile he got whenever he put smug assholes in their place. "You talk as if you're jealous."

"Jealous of what?"

"Someone never going down on you."

His mischief ranked up a level as he saw her eyes go wide for a moment. Then she smiled coyly. "How about you show me how it's done."

The next thing she knew she was back in their bedroom, pants and undies discarded and her hips jerking up at something hot and soft touching her other lips. Her hands clutching everywhere from her curls, to the sheets, to his own hair.

Her mouth open in a voiceless scream as his teeth nipped the soft inside of her thighs before diving back in to lap at her pearl. When she tried to jerk her hips the Bat's strong arms held them to the mattress leaving her trapped beneath his ruthless tongue.

Bruce groaned at her taste - she tasted oddly salty - but the drive to prove a point to her made him all the more determined to drive her to that breaking point.

By the time her insides clenched in soaked the sheets, she had her eyes closed and her breathing slowed down. She pulled him up for a kiss, embarrassed to taste herself on him - but the sheer ecstasy made her forget.

It was confirmed - the Ghost can feast on pussy, and she didn't question it nights after that.

***

Baby's first smut 😢 also threw in some Protective!Talia Al Ghul since I hate the way modern DC writes her these days.

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

DC Universe Masterlist

Back to the main Masterlist

Batsis

Baby-batsis / Toddler-batsis stories are bold

Headcanons

Batsis being babysat by aunt Harley and aunt Pam

Being a ghost that ‘haunts’ the manor would include

The Batfam reacting to Batsis having the Meta-gene

Batsis!reader x Roy Harper

The Batfam reacting to Batsis dating Roy Harper…

Asian!Batsis

Lost, Found and Consequences (toddler!batsis)

Model!Batsis

ADHD!Batsis

Half!Cat!Batsis

Batsis x Supergirl

The next CEO 

Being the oldest sibling

Sneaky!Batsis

Jon Kent x batsis!reader

Healer!Batsis

Middle eastern!Batsis

Aftermath (Angst)

Starstruck Summary: Batsis enters her first year of high school and her brothers don’t like the idea of her being asked out 

OneShots

Confusion Summary: Batsis has her first kiss, which is followed by a lot of confusion

We have a problem (x Young Justice) Summary: After a mission takes an unexpected turn you’re welcomed by some strange consequences

You punch like a girl (Toddler!batsis) Summary: young!Batsis defends the girls in her school against a bully

It’s gonna be okay Summary: You (Batsis) have a bad feeling about a mission and when you get there you get confronted with your brothers‘ worst fears

Ukhti Summary: When both you and Damian are nowhere to be found on a rainy day, your other brothers conspire about what could’ve happened, but they’re in for a surprise.

Jelly Bean (toddler!Batsis) Summary: (Don’t wanna spoil)

Independence Summary: In which Batsis is very independent, but the family wants her back in the manor…Angst and Fluff ensue.

Changes Summary: Your family notices that you start to change. When you deny the changes they start to investigate… What they find doesn’t make them happy.

Moonflower Summary: It was a rather usual evening for you, a Gala, trying to avoid the mayor, getting kidnapped- what more could you want from your night?

Masquerade (Moonflower pt 2) Summary: When the Riddler keeps ghosting around in your mind you know that you have to do something about it, that you couldn’t keep on harbouring feelings for him, so you put on your mask and make your way to find a distraction, but sometimes the things we see when we wear masks are not the things we expect…

Magical/Misery/Massacre (Moonflower pt 3) Summary: You and Ed are at a point in your realtionship were you have to decide what your future will look like… Will it be happy, will it be sad… or will it be something else entirely… find out in this Chose your own ending story where you can decide which ending you and Edward get…

Pretty hair (Toddler!Batsis) Summary: A cute wakeup, a gala ahead and a rather hairy problem. Will Batdad be able to handle it?

A sweet life (baby!batsis) Summary: A little excerpt of a day of baby!batsis lifes and all the sweetness

Pretty Princess  Summay: You and Steph have a plan. That plan includes Damian, a dress and your phones...

Overworked Summay: Your on your way to be the next C.E.O. of Wayne Enterprises, but the road is filled with challenges and a lack of self-care that your family can’t help but worry about (based on this)

Specials

Happy Hallowayne Summary: Read Headcanons and small story-bits about the best Halloween party ever in Wayne manor and all the troubles and all the fluff that comes with it

Preferences

Teach me how to dance (Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Cass, Damian, Steph)

Pregnant!Batsis

Drabble

Copy or Individual Prompt: “I’m (Y/N) Fucking (Y/L/N)”|” Are you proud of me?”

Viral hit Summary: What happens when you accidentaly post a TikTok of you in your suit with Batman in the background?

You clean up nicely Summary: Bruce worries because you are late to a Gala, but when you arrive - in a suit instead of the usual dress- he couldn’t be prouder...

Stress and School are both six letter words Summary: School is a bitch and it’s stressing you out. Lucky for you there’s a family behind you that will always take care of you

Social Media Au

Batsis having a girls night out with her sisters

Being newly adopted into the Wayne family

Batkid!reader (gender-neutral)

Headcanons

DJ!Batkid

Batfam x reader

Headcanons

Mothering the Batfam would include…

The bat-boys in our universe…

Bataunt x Harley Quinn

OneShot

Club ‘Illusion’ Summay: With your hero work taking up most of your time you decide to find an outlet - that outlet turns out to be your own soon to be opened club. On the V.I.P. list for that evening? Two of the most important groups of people in your life. The only problem: they have yet to meet each other, not to mention the little fact that you’ve been keeping not just the club a secret...

Preferences

New Year’s Eve with the Bat Kids… ( Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass, Harper, Babs & Duke)

Song Pranks on the Batkids… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass, Harper, Babs & Duke)

You’ve got to be kitten me… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Pets, Cuddles and surprised brothers (Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim)

Affection comes in a lot of forms… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Batboys x Cosplayer!reader (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Dying in their arms… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Pixie hair cut (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Pregnant s/o (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Social Media Au

Song Pranks on the Batkids… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass, Harper, Babs & Duke)

Batparents

Headcanons

Being Batmom and marring Bruce would include… (part 1)

Being Batmom and pregnant would include…(part 2)

Batmom teaching Dick how to cook…

OneShots

The bedroom down the hall (Angst warning) Summary: After Jason’s death you know it’s time to pack up the things in his room, but will you be able to cope with all the memories and the fact that your son is really dead? (Inspired by “In the bedroom down the hall” from ‘Dear Evan Hansen’)

Magic Mom (finished): -Dick’s arrival (1/5) -Jason’s arrival (2/5) -Jason’s death (3/5) -Tim’s arrival (4/5) -Damian’s arrival (5/5) Summary: Being Batman’s wife was one thing, being a strong magician a whole other thing, now, what happens if you combine those two and add motherhood? Welcome to the life of the Batfam’s very own Magic Mom…

Momma is a badass? Summary: Your Children don’t know about a big part of your past, but when the situation calls for it, they find out, one way or another

Drabble

Content Summary: When you come home, you’re not as happy as Bruce expected. Fluff ensues (but it’s really short)

Dick Grayson

Headcanons

Being Dick Graysons daughter would include

Batmom teaching Dick how to cook…

Dick Grayson x Unkillable!reader

OneShots

Birds ‘n Bees Summary: Dick gets hurt on a mission

Drabble

Misunderstanding upon Misunderstanding Prompt: “And I’m dead”|”Another bad date?”

Social Media Au

Dick’s S/O coming back from a weekend trip with Damian

Jason Todd

Headcanons:

Jason Todd x Stark!reader

Have you met my family? Summary: After you start dating Jason you want to meet his family, but maybe you’re closer to them than you think

OneShots

Private Tutoring Summary: Jason needs some private tutoring and because of Damian, You (who can’t stand Jason) have the job

Do Angels giggle? Summary: A rumour of an angel kidnapping criminals and leading them to a path of justice and Jason is on the suspect’s track. He hasn’t expected to be caught and he surely hasn’t expected what met him there…

Jaybird Summary: One day you meet a boy in dirty clothes and give him food, he becomes your best friend and then he leaves and dies. In his name you start helping others like him. Then you meet a man in a Red Hood.

Drabble

Rise and Shine Summary: You wake Jason up in one of the prettiest ways…

Luckiest thing Summary: On the fourth of July you have a little surprise for your husbands family

Conventional Prompt: “Nothing about us is conventional”|“You scared the shit out of me!”|“I don’t think I could love you any more than I already do.”

Daddy dearest Summary: You’re spending an afternoon with Dick when you’re boyfriend Jason calls you and there is a little misconception...

Pops Summary: When a mysterious Woman arrives at the manor looking for our favorite Butler Jason could’ve sworn it’s love at first sight...

Social Media Au

Imagine being pregnant with Jason’s child and the other bat kids are a bit shocked since you’re only 19

Tim Drake

Drabble

Perfect Moment, frozen in time Summary: Tim is just perfect in your eyes…

Shoulder Piegon Prompt: “That looks like it hurts…”|” You always look beautiful.”

Baby, it’s cold outside Prompt: “You’re freezing, Jesus” | “Sometimes I just want to cuddle, okay? Is that so bad?”

Social media au

Farmlove Summary:  When Y/N Kent goes back to Smallville to spend some time on her grandparents’ farm alongside her brothers and her aunt, she expects a calm, peaceful time. She gets something else though…

Damian Wayne

Headcanons

Being blind and Damian’s S/O… (Part 1)

Being blind and Damian’s S/O… (Part 2)

Kind and Lovesick… (Slightly Yandere!Damian🔪)

They’ll pay…

Destructive Love (Yandere!Damian🔪)

“I’ll take care of you’ (Yandere!Damian 🔪)

OneShots

Something real Summary: Damian hates the people who attend his father’s Galas and he doesn’t think there’s one real person there, only for him to be surprised…

Time flies by when you’re in love Summary: A timeline of your time with Damian and how you became a couple…

A thing of honour Summary: Keeping your alter ego a secret from Damian was all fun and games, especially since he seemed to hate your superhero persona while loving your “normal��� you, but what happens when he finds out about the whole thing in the worst way possible…

All that counts Summary: It was supposed to be a simple go-in-get-out mission, but it quickly got out of hand, Damian finding himself unable to do anything. Now unsure of if you were even alive, his heart is ripping apart. Will you come back to him?

The one that got away Summary: With a mysterious past on your pack you make your way to Wayne manor to find Damian Wayne, only to be faced with our favorite butler and a nice cup of tea…

Smiler Summary: Damian Wayne doesn’t smile. Ever. So when he suddenly starts to do so after reading text messages and receiving calls from an outsider his siblings get suspicious. Shenanigans ensue.

Rescued (Yandere!Damian🔪) Summary: Everything was finally perfect for Damian. His perfect little Darling was so well behaved and finally pregnant like he had always wanted, but now someone unexpected turns up at his door. Someonw who could ruin everything he had worked for...

Reality Check Summary: It was a normal day for you when the sidewalk literally opens up and swallows you whole only to spit you back out into a world that you thought only existed in comics before. There you meet a certain Vigilante and things get more complicated very, very quickly...

The Future Is Now Summary: Your best friend Damian is gone on a mission with the Titans and while you constantly worry, you just want him to come back home save. When your welcomed home after patrol by the team with a clear lack of Damian - instead a man who looks eerily familiar - you were not prepared for your world to be rocked the way it would be...

Drabbles

A what? (Crack) Summary: You have a mission and you’ll even use the dirtiest of tricks to get what you want

Traning Session Prompt: “Your hands are so small!”

Broken Leg and shattered Ego Prompt: “You’re really special to me.”|“No more stupid stunts, [please?]”|“You scared the shit out of me!”

Be with me  Prompt:  "You're gonna get your heart broken"|"I know but I'm at the point where I just want to be loved romantically even if it's fake lol"

What friends are for... Summary: You and your best friend Damian have a deal: No matter how much you fight you’ll never stay angry at each other. The only thing is his family doesn’t know about that deal...

People are gay dude (male!reader) Summary: Damian’s brothers want to find out who Damian is dating only to be surprised

Social Media Au

A mystery to unveil (Masterlist) Summary: After you upload a picture to make sure that every girl in Gotham knows that Damian is yours, it’s his family’s personal mission to find out who that newly found Mystery Girl is…

Welcome to the Gotham Academy Bats (Masterlist)  Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is the head-cheerleader of the Gotham Academy Bats, with her boyfriend Jackson (the captain of the football team) on one side and the mysterious Damian Wayne, who she keeps on getting closer to, on the other. What will happen when things get complicated?

Roy Harper

Headcanons

Batsis!reader x Roy Harper

The Batfam reacting to Batsis dating Roy Harper…

Kara Denvers

Headcanons

Batsis x Supergirl

Jon Kent

OneShots

He doesn’t like you…Or does he? Summary: Jonathan Kent is nice to everyone. But that makes you unable to figure out if he actually liked you or just acted like it. Something has to be done…

Drabble

Confession Prompt: “I’m fucking terrified and I don’t know what to do or how to stop feeling that way, okay? I’m scared…”|“I need you…”

Clark Kent

Injustice Yandere!Superman x reader

Oliver Queen

Headcanons

Dating green Arrow would include…

Young Justice

OneShots

We have a problem (x Young Justice) Summary: After a mission takes an unexpected turn you’re welcomed by some strange consequences

Riddler

OneShots

Moonflower Summary: It was a rather usual evening for you, a Gala, trying to avoid the mayor, getting kidnapped- what more could you want from your night?

Masquerade (Moonflower pt 2) Summary: When the Riddler keeps ghosting around in your mind you know that you have to do something about it, that you couldn’t keep on harbouring feelings for him, so you put on your mask and make your way to find a distraction, but sometimes the things we see when we wear masks are not the things we expect…

Magical/Misery/Massacre (Moonflower pt 3) Summary: You and Ed are at a point in your realtionship were you have to decide what your future will look like… Will it be happy, will it be sad… or will it be something else entirely… find out in this Chose your own ending story where you can decide which ending you and Edward get…

Harley Quinn

Headcanons

Bataunt x Harley Quinn

Incorrect Quotes

[obislittleone]

Requested Imagine: attending Harley and Bruce's wedding (by @iawaythrown )

The hall was decorated to the nines, and every guest was dressed for the occasion.

When the bride came down the aisle you understood how beautiful someone can be. She was stunning in her white dress, and the groom nearly cried.

When everyone was seated you took a look at the happy couple staring at each other so happily. What a wonderful occasion in which two people would join their lives so they can share them forever.

When they kissed at the end everyone cheered, whistling and roaring in honor of the newest married pair.

You were in awe of them together as they should be.

(I loved this idea, thank you for sending it in!! )

[theroguealpha]

Who else would love to have Harper in the DCEU!? 

It would mean so much to me if you would click the link above to check my video out!

Thanks, everyone!

[dawnwriterimagines]

Tortured Soul: Batmom x Batfam

Warning: Angst, Violence, etc.

Summary: Before a big mission, you confront Bruce about sending your sons out to find the joker. Something just doesn’t feel right...

He had been searching for days. For that sadistic clown, Joker. His eyes were always glued to the Batcomputer, as if he couldn't bare to leave without believing he had done all he could, and he slaved himself all day, every night. Even though he had done it all, you knew a Joker was just laughing his ass off at this one, and his joke hadn't even started.

Relentlessly, Bruce was hooking onto every trail, every clue, every hint of evidence, every trace of where that clown could've been. He hacked security cameras, cellphones, police scanners, nothing, for days.

It seemed as if he had disappeared. But, you all knew that that was far from the truth. The Joker doesn't just leave, not without informing you first, in the most disturbing ways, of course. He was waiting, waiting for the perfect time to strike, which was so unlike him. He usually just struck and made hell on earth without even trying, it was a rather gruesome quality he had.

And Bruce knew that. And that's what was driving him to a dead end, Joker wasn't predictable but, he wasn't invisible either. He made himself known with every action he took, no matter how vile or cruel, he wanted you to know it was him. But, this time, he was silent.

Bruce and you had even checked Gotham Asylum, nothing. But, someone did give him answers there, Harley Quinn, locked away, awaiting her sweet Puddin' to bail her out in his own 'creative' way. She was going crazy, stuck there without her Joker to tell her what to do, to coax her in his violent tendencies, she waited for him. The information only put Bruce more in edge and you wished you hadn't gone in the first place.

The moment you locked eyes with Quinn, her grin faded slightly, the glee in her eyes faltered before she looked back at the Batman, who didn't show it but was equally curious as to her change in attitude. Instead of letting them question her, she proceeded to answer Bruce's previous question.

"Nope," she grinned, her face pressed up against the bars of her cell, "But, my Puddin’ is comin', don't you worry about him not showin' up! He's comin for me! And we're gonna have so much fun, this town is just filled with so many things to do! Like the zoo, the carnival, oh! And all that over our own little Gotham roast, I wonder what a burnin’ city smells like, hopefully somethin’ sweet," She laughed horrendously, throwing her head back as she teared up, missing her lover. "Can you believe that? We're goin’ on our honeymoon soon! There's gonna be some pretty lil’ fireworks and raining bodies all over, he said it's just for me, his sweet pumpkin!" She cooed to herself, smiling at the fond memory.

You pitied Harley Quinn. Almost always, all of your meetings with Harley was with her behind bars, left behind by her criminal lover again. You wanted to help her, more than anything, but what could you do? You knew she was suffering but she loved the clown, he had captured both her heart and her mind. There was nothing you could do, you knew the feeling, love makes you do beyond crazy things in the name of it. The only one who could fix it was her.

You and Bruce glanced at one another through the holes of your masks before you stepped closer to the cell, "Harley, what do you mean by the fireworks, the bodies?" Bruce stepped up next to you, the Asylum guards behind you both stiffened, being in the Bat’s presence has always been a little more than overwhelming.

"What is the Joker planning, Harley?" Bruce's voice was low and left no room for tolerance.

Harley turned, slamming her cheeks back onto the bars, most likely bruising the sides of her face. "It's gonna be a celebration. He wants all of you to be there." She referred to the entire bat clan, your expression hardened. Her grin then became forced and saddened, "But, it’s not for me. Not that part. He said it would be for you,” she looks eyes with your widening ones. “Mrs. Bat,” she revealed. “he wanted me to tell you, 'it'll be a killer good time'," She chuckled, but than the laughter grew and then it became maddening and loud. She angled her her head backwards before letting out a horrifyingly sudden wail, forcing the guards to surge past the two of you. But, before they could reach her, she had already begun slammed her head into the bars repetitively, blood leaking from her broken nose, her forehead bruising. But, she didn’t stop, she kept at it, with a smile on her face, until the guards pulled her away and held her down, the woman continued to wail.

You and Bruce slipped away afterwards, unable to stay unless you were to be questioned by the rest of the authority. 

Driving back home, neither of you said anything until you were slowing the car down and pulling into the underground driveway, "We're not bringing them into this," You said, he turned towards you as he stopped the car, the two of you getting out and walking around and towards the cave.

His head angles towards you, having heard you, slightly stunned, his brow creases beneath his cowl. “What?”

“This. There’s something not right about any of this, it’s not like before,” you admitted, Joker had never stayed quiet, hidden for so long.

He instantly knew what you were talking about, "They grew up on this type of danger, (y/n), they've faced bigger than this--" he began, you cut him off.

"Faced bigger than th--Who cares about that!” you began, appalled at his answer, how nonchalant he had said it. “This kind of danger--we should’ve never brought them into this in the first place!" You hissed at him, angrily, his lips set in a stern line at your outburst. "You're not listening to me, you can't just involve them in these types of situations. They're our kids, we should be protecting them, not hurling them into danger!"

Bruce didn't look at you, only proceeding to park the car before opening the car. "This is what we've trained them for, this is what they've been born into. They do this because they want to, remember that, (y/n). Not because I've forced them too." You opened the car door from your side before ripping away from your face. "We'll need their help."

"Since when do you need help, Bruce? Huh? You've never admitted it to me, to our kids. You're Batman, Bruce! Every criminal on the street is afraid to sleep at night because of you!" you stopped him from walking away from you. He glared at everything else, but he didn't look at you. "You know that's not it! So what is it? Why won't you just listen to me for once, and just let us do this ourselves? Leave them out of it."

Bruce then looks at you, his eyes burning into your mind, almost making you recoil. "It's not them I'm worried about, (y/n)," he began, his voice was brutally cold, maintaining his perfectly calm persona. "You will not be going. You should know better than this, that The Joker is after you and I can't have that clown roaming the streets with you as his next target." He then turned his back on you just as you opened your mouth to protest. "That's final, (y/n)."

"So, what? You're gonna send our children out there to fight, instead? And yet, you're going to bench your fucking wife?!" You fumed, stomping after him. "You can't just do that! I've been in this far longer than you care to admit, Bruce, and I'm not going to sit back while you send my kids off to fight that psychotic circus animal!" You seethed, stopping in front of him. "You know that the only way that Joker can ever hurt me is through my family, my kids, you! I won't sit back like a god damn housewife while you have them play soldier!"

"You won't be going anywhere near him! You hear me?" Bruce whirled on you, his teeth gritted and his eye's narrowed as he stuck his gloved finger in your face. "This isn't about your pride, (y/n)! And this isn't some twisted game, this is real, you will stay here, you will be here when we get back, and we will never speak of this again!" He glared down at you before beginning to walk away, but you weren't done with him.

"You're fucking insane, if you think I'm going to stay behind!" Upon using the deranged term, you had taken Bruce's shoulder in your palm and violently spun him around, the man forcefully turning before righting himself, holding back an annoyed growl as you fought against his words. "If you let this clown drive you nuts then you're just damning us all! We don't even know what he's planning, and yet you're thinking of sending them out there looking for a mass murderer without precaution!" You took a breath, setting your hands down into fists before calming slightly. "This isn't about my pride. This is about my boys, I don't want to run in blindly on this. This is different, the Joker has never stayed out of the sun this long, it doesn't feel right."

"So, if it were up to you, you would do nothing," it was a question, but a statement, that you were appalled to hear.

You gaped at him, "Of course not. But, I won't risk the lives of my family in the process."

"This is what they've trained for."

"This is what you trained them for! They're not expendable soldiers, they're our children, Bruce!"

Bruce took two large steps to you, his cape flying behind him as he angrily glared down at you, "You seem to forget who made you Batwoman, who made this team! I'm the one who started this! And this is why we exist! This is why this family stays in Gotham. To protect Gotham," he put his foot down, glaring down into your soul, his eyes cold and the bridge of his nose curling. "So, my wife, you will stay here, monitor the cameras with Alfred, the rest of the team will be leaving tomorrow to find The Joker. This is not up for discussion."

"Bruce...!"

He shoved you up against the back wall, his hand remaining on your chest to keep you there, your eye's widening in surprise as your back collided with the cement wall harshly, "Listen to me, now," his hands gripping your shoulders hard enough to bruise. “You’re staying here. I will chain you down to the bed if I have to. But, you won’t be involved in any physical way in this mission. Is that understood?” 

You don’t say anything, you can’t. Your voice caught in your throat, but your resistance to his words still clear on your face, you’d never been one to take orders from him and you wouldn’t be starting now.

But, as you struggled to find the words to overcome your hurt, he parted from you, his hand leaving you and the pressure subsided against your chest, physically but it only gets heavier as you watch him walk away from you. Leaving you with your thoughts and your worries.