#harley quinn x batman
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waynzel · 1 year ago
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darlingmurdock · 11 months ago
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#BATQUINN
lovers in the night
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crookedvoidblaze · 11 months ago
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I don't really have anything to contribute to this recently discovered OTP at the moment but I just wanted to say that their theme song is most definitely Taylor Swift's Love Story.
And I will not be accepting any other answer at this time.
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wiverly · 1 year ago
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Bruce: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Harley: In a dating type of way or assassination type of way?
Bruce: I don't know, surprise me!
Harley: *texting frantically all the batman's rogues gallery in their group chat to inform them*
Bruce: …
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enigmaris · 2 months ago
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Danny Kills the Joker AU
Danny is on the run in gotham, as you do in dpxdc fics. His parents are dead and he is trying to stay out of Vlad's custody. Gotham has plenty of ectoplasm to hide his ecto signature. It also has a high enough population of homeless people that no one would even notice Danny just showing up.
He's been living rough in gotham, mostly sticking to Crime Alley and The Narrows, sleeping in abandoned buildings or in relatively clean parts of the sewer system. He eats what he can find and does his best never to be seen.
Not good enough since he along with like 30 other street kids get picked up by joker goons and tied up. Joker is planning an explosive party for the city to watch and he needed guests. Joker literally set up bombs of joker gas around the city that will go off and send the entire city into pandemonium, killing millions. The only way to stop the bombs is to kill his guests (homeless kids from Crime Alley) which the city can vote on. Kill themselves or kill kids.
Danny is sitting at the edge of the group, listening as Joker televises his new plan to the entire city.
He really, really hates clowns.
He is also not gonna let this guy kill all of these kids. He may not be a hero anymore but those protection instincts didnt die with his parents.
And also fuck that clown.
He phases through his bonds, and then starts asking the various kids to borrow their hat, gloves, and scarf. Gotham street kids take one look at this out of town kid and mentally wish him luck while planning out his funeral. They keep on acting terrified because as stupid as this kid is being, they're not snitches either.
Danny puts on the borrowed clothes to hide his face and hair. He can't be identified, or Vlad is gonna be on his ass tomorrow. Once fully covered he gets up and into view of the camera. The Joker notices him, turns around to laugh and jeer at him. Probably shoot him for being impolite and interrupting him. Danny doesnt even pause just walks right up to the clown and coldcocks him.
Based on the sound of bones snapping Danny admits he might have punched a little too hard. Danny checks the Jokers pulse and immediately panics. Danny has Batman levels of fear around killing and he is panicking about becoming Dan.
"Holy Shit I killed him!" He says, to the entire city because the camera is still rolling.
Cue:
Danny running for his life, trying to hide away from his fear and guilt.
Red Hood becoming like his dad and drawing up mental adoption papers
Harley Quinn also drawing up adoption papers, paper ones, while Poison Ivy changes their home's 'no boys allowed' banner to 'son boy allowed'
Jokers goons trying to find Danny to kill him for killing their boss
City wide pandemonium as the jokers death is confirmed and people are partying in the streets, the mayor is planning on giving the street kid who did it the key to the fucking city
The batfam trying to find Danny to protect him from Jokers Goons (Bruce is third in line for custody not that he knows he is gonna have to fight both Harley and Jason for the honor)
The crime alley kids are still not snitching on the kid who saved them. Anyone who asks them about Danny only respond with 'what are you a cop? Fuck off pig'
Vlad Masters, as someone who has been punched by Danny, immediately recognizes the punch and flies to Gotham to find his wayward 'son'.
Vlad even meets with Brucie Wayne to ask for help in finding Danny. Bruce gets bad vibes from Vlad and is even more invested in finding Danny. The boy has dark hair, blue eyes, and a tragic orphan backstory. Its fate!
Danny meanwhile is hiding in some sewer somewhere breathing into a paper bag as he panics about becoming a world ending threat.
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celestialgalaxyglow · 1 month ago
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During a patrol
Harley: Hi Guys!
Ivy: Hello everyone.
Bruce: Harley, Ivy, thank you for joining us tonight.
Harley: Of course anything for our favorite bats.
Ivy: Who's the new kid?
Danny: Hello I'm Danny, alias Phantom, I'm Jason's son.
Ivy: Wait, but that would make you-
Harley: Hahahaha, Bruce is a grandfather!
Cassandra: Yup, Bruce Wayne is a grandfather.
Bruce: Can we please pay attention to the Penguin's newest plot...
Harley: Of course, but I'm telling everyone.
Bruce: He's been to the Watchtower, the Justice League already knows.
Harley: Then I'll tell the villains.
Bruce: I hate you.
Harley: Love you too.
Part: 7, (all parts)
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cherriiramen · 1 year ago
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Whenever I think of the Harley/Joker queer besties dynamic, I picture this
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7seasofem · 1 month ago
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my two girlfriends… and YES they smoke weed
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we-ezer · 7 months ago
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Joker stabbed Harley in the stomach when she told him she is pregnant. In pain and bleeding out, she turns up at Ivy's safehouse. Ivy gives her a glowing green vial she received from Ra's al Ghul in exchange for the carnivorous plants she gave him for disposing of bodies. Harley drinks the water and the wound closes, but she stays with Ivy over the course of her pregnancy to make sure Joker won't try to cut out the fetus again. When she finally gives birth it's in the safehouse with her, Ivy, and Dr. Thompkins who promised she wouldn't say a thing to anyone. Baby Danny is born with his eyes open and glowing green, but they soon fade to Harley's blue. Harley and Ivy had already discussed what to do with the baby and decided Gotham was too dangerous for him, so Ivy makes the journey to Amity Park to drop him off with her old friend, Maddie Fenton, who agreed to take him because her and Jack were having trouble conceiving.
When Harley eventually returns to the Joker, she tells him she drowned the baby in Gotham Bay.
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nxtaliaistyping · 4 months ago
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Batrogues | p links part two
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(gotta be logged into twitter for links to work)
NSFW 18+. some new faces, some returning ones, part one here.
·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·
The Riddler:
If you beg for his attention while he’s working in his workshop, then he’ll leave you like this.
Secretly has a soft spot for bigger girls <3
He’s a classy guy, he loves lingerie
How he eats it after you stroke his ego
He likes you dripping and desperate for him
Honestly this is how I need him to fuck me
The Scarecrow:
What, you thought just because he used to be a professor, he’d be turned on by you dressing so crude? He’ll show you what he thinks
Edward is the closest thing he has to a friend, it would be rude for him not to share you with the riddler.
As a thank you for letting him have you, Edward gave you a present. Now you use it and send videos to Jonathan when he’s working <3
You help him get to sleep
Likes making you ride him
This but he’s wearing the scarecrow mask
Catwoman:
She gets a sick sense of pleasure when she seduces a woman whose in a relationship with a man
Takes you to expensive hotels just the fuck you in them
You told her and Harley that you wanted to be part of the Gotham City Sirens, but they said there was an entrance exam
Yeah, it doesn’t matter where you both are, she’ll just knock out anyone who stumbles upon you both
Breaks in to your house with her strap on under her suit so she can fuck you
Thank her for all the expensive gifts by getting on your knees
The Mad Hatter:
Once he found the toy under your bed, he knew he had to have you use it
Loves seeing you in such cute underwear
He also loves when you act all innocent, so he can feel like he’s corrupting you
How he treats his sweet Alice when you do what he says
And it helps when his Alice loves it as much as him
Though he likes when you take matters into your own hands
Deathstroke:
He owns plenty of handcuffs
If you try and ride him, this is how you’ll end up
Oh you’re wearing fishnets? Good luck
Where else should he cum, if not deep inside?
Yeah, he’s rough
But if it’s been a long day, he can be intimate too
Black Mask:
Makes you send videos like this all the time, the more embarrassing the dildo the better
What’s that? You don’t wanna do anal? Well then obviously you don’t want to be his best girl, do you?
You still have to look pretty, even when being punished
After coming back from a meeting
Unlike Scarecrow, he definitely isn’t shy about being into the whole schoolgirl outfit
As in incentive to his men, the lucky guy who earns him the most money that month gets front row seats to see this
Harley Quinn:
Harls doesn’t like to wait till you’re back from the club
She’s a threesome kinda girl
She loves your tits
Fuck her with the strap, so she can fuck you with the same one tomorrow <3
When you put her panties in her mouth, she came so quick
What happens when she invites you for a sleepover
·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨
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spicy-apple-pie · 7 months ago
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I’m thinking about a “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” au. I think it works a little too well.
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waynzel · 2 years ago
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no matter what earth, no matter what universe, they'll find each other
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darlingmurdock · 1 year ago
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this so batquinn coded
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acid-ixx · 7 months ago
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"hostage situation"
series masterlist
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nightwing, to his siblings: okay, so we have to be real careful because the joker and harley quinn are holding our baby sibling hostage and we can't put them in anymore danger.
nightwing, looks at red robin: i'm sure they have some traps laid around the lair so you'll be disarming it.
red robin, nods:
robin: then me and todd will be handling any spare targets, no?
nightwing: of course. cass, steph and duke will be guarding the entrance. babs?
oracle, speaking in the intercoms: this is the closest point of entry where (name) is being kept hostage.
red robin: security cams suggest there's more than just harley and the joker in the lair. a bunch of their goons are heavily guarding both the entrance and the exit. we should thread carefully.
oracle: there's no camera's where (name) is exactly at, but there's a specific room where it's shown that the two are often visiting.
batman, who had been lurking behind them: this is a priority mission. we can't afford to make mistakes.
robin, eyebrows raised: though, is it necessary to bring the entire family? me and my father could handle this entirely by ourselves.
jason, sighs: don't pretend like you weren't the first to suggest the entire justice league to come searching for them, kid.
batman: enough arguing, (name) needs all the support they could get after this. so on my count, we are to bust open the door.
dick: alright, everybody, prepare.
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*meanwhile, inside the lair, in a makeshift "house"*
(name), sitting on a comfy chair whilst holding a cup of hot chocolate and a book in the other, sneezes: oh— did anyone mention my name?
harley quinn, already on her way to wipe their nose: oh my baby! is our baby sick?!
(name): no, i just suddenly sneezed?
the joker, in another room: i spy with my little eye, a child way past their bedtime~ c'mon babyboo, let's get you to bed!
(name): awe, but it's like, 10pm. i wanna read some more.
harley, about to pick (name) up: then let momma read the book for you in bed, cutesy pie—
*the door to the kitchen slams open*
dick, with his escrima sticks on-hand: surrender (name) to us now or—!
dick, absolutely befuddled: wait, what?!
damian, with bruce in tow: what's the hold up, nightwing?!
damian, about to jump right in front of dick before he was stopped by bruce's hand on his shoulder: what is... this?
bruce: ... explain the meaning of this, harley.
harley, holds (name) closer to her chest as she's equally confused: what do ya mean, bats? ain't it obvious i'm taking care of my child?
(name): uhm...
damian, visibly offended: what do you mean, your child? (name) over there is ours.
the joker, walks over to the room in a hurry: what's with all the commotion over here?! (name) is supposed to be in bed, harle— batman?!
bruce, with squinted eyes: don't act stupid, what is this all about?
nightwing, surveying the room: wait, why is (name) in pajamas?
(name), trying their best to shrug in harley's tight hug: i'm... supposed to go to bed...?
the joker, about to walk over to (name) before he's stopped by a batarang almost hitting the side of his head: hey! what's that for? i'm clearly not trying to attack my own child!
bruce: (name) is my child, not yours.
the joker, glaring at batman: well, it's not my fault they choose me over you!
(name) wayne, interrupting the two: uhm... i did technically disown myself from the family so—
damian: disown yourself?
(name): i have every reason to—
dick: look, baby bird, you don't know what's right for you, these guys are dangerous—
(name): i literally got nearly killed by some nobody criminals if not for harley saving me but okay, nightwing.
bruce, whose attention is now on (name): you almost got what now?
(name), rolling their eyes: i almost died, batman. now if you excuse me, i think i deserve a good night sleep tonight.
(name), looks at harley who still hasn't released them from the protective hug: can we?
harley quinn, facepalming in her mind as she stares back at (name): oh, i should've bought you to pam and selina instead.
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peachmangopie323 · 2 months ago
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Girl calm down !! I get it !!
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breannasfluff · 3 months ago
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Danny snorts and gestures at the bruises. “Got kidnapped yesterday; guess those goons didn’t take kindly to getting their butts kicked.”
Pam and Harley’s attention both snap to him, and there’s a low, simmering anger in both gazes. “Danny? You okay?” Pam takes a step toward him and the plants around her tremble. 
The faint smell of jasmine tinges the air. It’s oddly…familiar. The last time he smelled that was when he met Poison Ivy…
He waves off their concern. “I was fine. Red Hood showed up and helped out with some of the thugs, but I could have handled it on my own.” They still don’t look happy, but Danny’s changing the subject. “So…when were you going to share your alter egos?”
Pam and Harley share a look. “I don’t know what you are talking about?” Harley’s response comes out as a question. 
“Harley, you knew my name when I never told it to you. And you sound the same. I know I can be a little slow, but I do get there eventually.”
Harley doesn’t seem upset, just laughs and swings her hammer down to rest on the ground. “I knew Pam picked a good kid to trust. I like you.”
Pam’s got a calculating look on her face. It’s the same kind Danny is familiar with, both for making it and seeing it on his friends’ faces. She’s likely running the odds of being able to pass off Harley as an acquaintance and keep her own identity a secret. 
He’s going to have to burst her bubble. “Pam, there’s a plant climbing up your leg and the pothos are so scared they’re trailing up instead of down.”
A glance up shows this is accurate. 
“Fine!” Pam throws up her hands and heaves an exasperated sigh. “I’m Poison Ivy, are you happy?”
Read the rest here!
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