#basically what i'm saying is i love people and i love art and i love you

[plumpybread]

Asking because of the previous ask, are you not a fan of Ethan anymore? If so, why?

It's complicated, I suppose (rant where i talk abt ethan but then also my OCs in general)

I really do not like the first version of Ethan I made like 3 years ago. Obviously I like indulging in devilish ideas but I don't know, it ended up turning into something I didn't really end up liking too much.

Then I revisited and sort of rewrote his story a bit a while back when making the OC archive site (I'm aware the site is not available anymore for the people who asked, I took it down myself) and was much happier with it for a while.

Don't get me wrong, I like Ethan, I know he's the OC people seem to like the most, but it's still like a personal mental battle of like maybe it's too effed up? Even when I draw characters going through unwilling/accidental extreme weight gain, I make them either ambivalent or accepting of their situation, but for Ethan it's kind of like torture, and I can't bring myself to get like..aroused and excited to draw more of that *personally*.

Changing up his lore wouldn't really work either since his story is based on helplessness and stuff, and it'd be disingenuous to make him be happy with his situation, so I've just sort of subconsciously decided to leave him as is and treat his content as its self contained story more than nsfw art to goon to, if that makes sense. I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking about it too much, but just wanted to say what goes through my head.

I also don't really revisit Ethan for the same reason I don't tend to draw much of all the past OCs I've made, as I see each of them as a way to explore different facets of how weight gain can manifest and adapt into a character's life to create a story around it, and I feel like I've covered most of the ground around them already.

All of my OCs come from a sudden short prompt that pops up in my head, usually out of nowhere. I suddenly wanted to make a big-hearted southern farm guy who was super massive and I immediately ran to draw Rudy, for example.

I draw them a little reference, with my typical bullet points next to them with basic info to get an idea of what their dynamic is like, and a more lengthily written backstory or description if I'm feeling fancy under it, and then for the next week or two it's all art of them and answering questions about them... and then another idea pops up, and a new OC comes in.

It's not that I get tired of them, but I just simply do not know what to draw with them. Ethan is the biggest outlier in this case, since he is my fattest OC and half immobile, you just don't really know how else to bring something new that's not him laying on his bed at a slightly different angle.

I guess that's why I always do OC asks, I sort of need them to be able to know what to draw with them, since I struggle coming with things like that by myself, and you know I always like avoiding drawing a character in a void with no context.

The Genshin Obesity AU is my longest running like "project"?? thing just because there is an endless amount of content I can pull from since there's all these characters, places and possibilities I can write from. My OCs are obviously much more self-contained and moreso serve as individual experiments to explore different people and scenarios, so after the 10th drawing of them... I genuinely do not know what else I can add to them.

I hope that was a bit insightful. I know most of you guys love Ethan, and I love him too! But I don't know, I guess this is why I don't tend to have immobile/near immobile OCs, since the potential art ideas for them drop to just them sitting on a mattress or sitting on the floor and I'm just left confused on what to do with them.

Maybe Ethan in his college days is something you guys might be interested in? Or I don't know, I'm just writing this post as my thoughts enter my head.

Sorry for the rant, I sure do love typing, hope this clears up some questions people might've had

[myokk]

HOLA! ❤️ First of all, dropping some kudos because I love you and your art so much (basically my blog can be your side blog too at this point!) ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Second, from the character ask, I'd like to know about 3,4 and 20 for both Eloise and Leo 😁

Hope you have a wonderful day/night!

HOLA MI ITALIANA FAVORITA💓​ I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR ALL OF THE YAPPING I'M ABOUT TO DO🤭​ will this get you to finally visit me🥺​

I'm going to answer these for Eloise SINCE I already did 3 for Leo & I have someone asking me about 4 for Leo as well🥺💓

3) What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

This is a tricky answer…just bc my evil gremlin mc in the game has NOTHING to do with Eloise in my writing. I guess I would say her name? I was just thinking of what would be the most British sounding name I could think of when I started playing in December🙂‍↕️

But then my imagination took hold of me…I started thinking about Eloise’s backstory…and when I thought of how all of her family dynamics/how she grew up would influence her personality I started to be really dissatisfied with the game and the lack of choice we have while playing. SO I gave up on the game completely after the restricted section quest and started to use my free time to write my fic in January🥹🫶 but her backstory, personality, and role in my story are definitely the most interesting things about her to me!!

Bonus: my first ever drawings of her in January!!! Bad quality bc it’s an insta story screenshot😆💓 (I redid one for my fic🤭)

4) And reverse, which one of the four things did you struggle with the most?

Hmmmmm😭😭 I think her personality is what I struggled with the most and continue to struggle with as I write!!!! I always want her to feel like a *real* person with flaws, but ALSO convey to the reader why they should love her as much as I do. I think I’m successful bc I get comments/messages a lot from people telling me how much she resonates with them (and she’s some people’s favorite???😳💘) but I STILL CANT HELP BUT FEEL INSECURE ABOUT IT !!! It’s so hard sometimes keeping in mind how she is and how she thinks, and I never want her to be wishy-washy or doing things out of character for her. It’s a fun challenge but a challenge😭💓 (also her appearance changes like crazy in my art but whatever I’m learning😆)

20) bonus: share any additional thoughts, art, favorite scenes, anything you’ve been waiting for a chance to ramble about.

DES YOU REALLY WANTED ME TO YAP WHEN YOU SENT THIS MESSAGE😆😆😆😆😆

I really, REALLY want to yap about the foreshadowing and scenes I’m working towards in my fic BUT IVE ONLY TALKED TO LIKE ONE OR TWO PEOPLR ABOUT MY PLANS ( @choccy-milky & @kay9leo 🤭🤭) AND I DONT WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING EVEN THOUGH I DONT HAVE MANY READERS😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 maybe in the future…

This is me redrawing the chess scene from my fic bc I’m really dissatisfied with how Seb looks in the original (he’s probably my LEAST FAVORITE TO DRAW BC IT’S IMPOSSIBLE !!!!!!!)

And ummmm….hmmm Eloise is DEFINITELY not a self-insert character to me, but I DID give her aspects of myself. Things like…we have the same birthday (January 31) and eye color (dark green), and I tend to overthink a lot and can be in my own head maybe too much, but I’m ALSO a lot more assertive and gremlin than she is😆😆😆😆 I love the fact that she’s so soft and sweet💓💓💓 & I just want to wrap her up in a big hug and never let go of her🥺🤲

(Imelda is my self-insert tbh…and this moment in my fic was ME😤:

At the sight of Imelda's worried face her throat contracted - Eloise found she couldn't speak - and she burst into tears again. They were rolling, hot and salty, down her cheeks and she hid her crumpled face back into the crooks of her arms. Imelda immediately wrapped her arms around Eloise, and she melted into her friend's embrace. Hands gently stroking her hair as she cried and cried and cried, murmurs whispered in soft Spanish to the top of her head.

She was overwhelmed, desolate, lonely.

I feel really bad for Eloise at this point in her story, but I also find it really interesting to keep poking her to see when she finally snaps and decides that she NEEDS to stand up for herself and what she wants. She hasn’t quite realized that she’s the only one who’s ultimately in charge of her life & I’m really really enjoying watching her become the person she’s meant to be🥹🫶🥹🫶

[normal-enderman]

My interpretations of people in the Life Series, as someone who is a very casual viewer and has no emotional investment in the series and barely knows any of the fandom knowledge below surface level.

Jimmy - stupid. so stupid. he barely has two braincells to rub together. but unfortunately for me i find it adorable. hes also blonde and young and pretty and im a basic idiot who likes young pretty twinks. he also has a really pretty smile. but hes so stupid. he sucks at minecraft. he dies all the time. his editing is also mid.

Joel - my second favourite after Jimmy. did I mention Jimmy's my favourite? no I didn't. im not basic. shut up. Joel is really cool. he's very funny and i love the overly-aggressive persona he puts on, he's one of the people who gets the most into roleplaying (it's basically his default for whenever he's on camera, he has a very defined cc persona that he never breaks out of), so it's easy to get immersed watching him. his editing is also seamless and brilliant. and he has good music taste. just a cool guy. i like the green streak in his mc skin.

Lizzie - usually when people call women quirky, they're being cringe incels who want a manic pixie dream girl. but i swear i mean it in the most sincere, old-fashioned use of the word way when i say Lizzie is quirky and i fucking love it. her aesthetic is cutesy pink kawaii, but the more you watch her the more you realise there's something delightfully strange about her. she's also incredibly fucking funny. the way she delivers lines just cracks me up. the way she speaks and phrases things and approaches the situations she finds herself in in general is awesome. despite her cutesy aesthetic, she's surprisingly tough as well. her editing is also a seamless, immersive delight.

Scott - master manipulator who gets violently mischaracterised by the entire fandom. he's definitely one of the smartest members of the Life Series SMP, he's always planning everything out, he always has a backup plan, he always seems to be three steps ahead. And again, a master of maximising his income of social capital. He's an expert at utilising his connections with the people around him, and always seems to be able to use his relationships to manouvre himself into an advantageous position. i don't understand why people make soft flower husbands art because Scott just seemed like he was taking advantage of Jimmy to me. in fact I dont understand why yall make scott soft in general, he's one of the most ruthless players from what I've seen. bit weird to mischaracterise "the gay one" as the soft guy, no? also why do you draw him as thin when he is chubby. why is his intro so fucking loud.

Bdubs - i have never watched this guy's POV because his editing is bad but he's always appearing in the corner of other player's POVs being adorable. he's like a little bug. he's always yelling and it's so incredibly unthreatening. why is his face all beat up like that what happened to the little guy.

Etho - he's friends with Bdubs and he's Canadian and he lives in the woods and fights moose and he's good at redstone and also some sort of cryptid. i have heard this. i have, however, not watched this because i have ADHD and the way he edits (or rather doesnt edit) his videos is so boring that i cannot watch them for longer than five minutes. which annoyed me because i really like his chill badass vibe and would like to see more of him, but alas. get better at editing etho. i also love the fan designs people make for him very much, especially when they make him into some sort of wolf or beast. makes sense since he's hunting all those moose.

Grian - HOT TAKE HERE. I'm not the biggest fan of Grian. His POVs are not very interesting. I guess people like him so much because he has a mad killer instinct and watching him hunt people down and get kills is fun. And this is true! I also like watching this! However, before it gets to the killing spree part, he's very self-contained and doesn't take much interest in what the people around him are doing (unless he is managing / leading them), which is boring for me because i'm interested in people's interactions with each other. Grian is actually far more interesting from other people's POVs, because from there you can see how his self-contained nature, tendancy to lead and thirst for blood and chaos affect everything around him, something which he himself seems to not notice because he is too focused on only dealing with the stuff that's immediately relevant to him.

Scar - what a charming man. oh my god. holy shit. sir. sir. what the fuck. he's also so funny. and has a little bit of the nature of a wet cat surrounding him. why does he love roleplaying being some form of scam artist so much that he choses to do it literally every single season. its like he cant stop himself. he has a scam artist disease. he also likes Starwars also one time he mentioned that he can't stand on twitter and everyone yelled his name. actually he does stuff that makes people yell his name in shock/exasperation a lot and its like a greek chorus. i also love the way he speaks in his voiceovers, his voice is very smooth.

Pearl - she has wolves apparently. this is a thing that i have heard about that has happened at some point. yes.

Cleo - they speak in a mocking tone and it makes me feel like i am being bullied in secondary school so i do not like them.

Impulse - this person does, in fact, exist, and may have done things at some point.

Geminitay - people draw her with antlers and that is cool

BigB - i have never seen this guy a single time in anyone's POV but apparently he is there! he keeps to the shadows.

Ren - there is a larper in this SMP. which is not a bad thing at all! I love hardcore minecraft roleplay! i am a Dream SMP fan, incidentally. which is related to nothing. The way he roleplays so intensely and in such a distinct style is a bit of a weird clash with the almost zero roleplay from everyone else, though. You have to all be into the roleplay and outputting the same amount of commitment to the bit, or it doesn't work and i just get secondhand embarassment watching. But I appreciate it nonetheless!

Other people who i've forgotten because i dont care about them - they sure do exist and are doing cool things yep

Thank you for reading my useless list, from a "fan" who isn't really invested enough to be a proper fan. I love minecraft men kissing. peace.

[pathofreason]

"if you think movies make you bright then go on ig it seems to be working greatly for you" is such a genuinely disgusting and braindead take when movies like 12 Angry Men, Funny Games, The Lighthouse even, etc exist to name some incredibly basic picks exist. Or in general film directors such as for example Stanley Kubrick or Agnès Varda, again very well known and you don't have to dig through trash or waste a lot of time to find their stuff if you don't have the time to do so. Genuinely mind-blowing take especially coming from someone who, like myself, loves literature (mainly a lot of classics) and philosophy, even linguistics. Comfortably saying shit like that is crazy idgaf if it's on a random blog on Tumblr LOL.

What braindead money hungry idiots have been doing in the name of the art that is cinema (Netflix trash as you said, or Mubi bullshit or any director and team not affiliated with those one of my favourite examples being Luca Guadagnino) doesn't take away from the fact that there's people out there, including actors directors writers and so on who are dead, that actually give a shit about what they're making and what they're presenting to the world. One could also assume that if someone says they read books that they're a brainless pig because some of the most popular writers currently are Colleen Hoover and the like, forgive me for not being able to provide actual specific authors but I'm not in these types of braindead circles I'm just unfortunately aware of the popularity of a lack of basic common sense and critical thinking skills amongst this "type" of "story" and the consumers. But that wouldn't be right necessarily, since that type of book is not the only that has ever existed.

Anon's wording is insanely childish and they obviously don't understand that self care (including taking care of your body, this is hard to understand for some people apparently) and enjoying the moment is important for anyone not just women although they're right that women shouldn't promote being a brainless doll (the implications of "I'm just a girl" bullshit) although it doesn't apply to this blog in particular you're not promoting misogyny you're just feminine online and anon is mad about it LMAO.

But what pissed me off way more than anon being an idiot is the implication that watching movies equals you watch (only or primarily) Netflix esque cash grabs that actually require you to turn your brain off, because if you use common sense and have actual critical thinking skills you'd be watching something else, and even if that is not the primary conclusion then the only other option would be that ALL films are some sort of anti-intellectual propaganda.

I'm assuming that you're not some sort of "well actually movies suck and books are much better" or whatever idiot since I remember scrolling past a film recommendations post of yours a few days back, so I don't understand the wording and implications of the answer to the ask/this post. Regardless, this isn't some "personal attack" or whatever against you in particular, the wording (and with that, implications) just pissed me off insanely because I know many people genuinely think that way about cinema as a whole and while like I explained I do agree to an extent about specific things, that mindset is an extreme that is factually wrong and generally just stupid and braindead as hell LMAO.

Anyways like I said, once again, I'm not beefing with you nor am I asking for clarification or anything I'm just using your post (or well that one statement) to expand on a thought of mine. Feel free to ignore this, or add something, or give me film and literature recs of any kind/genre if you feel like it lol, I love asking people that

What's graceful about being ignorant? If you're a self care blog then shouldn't reading, watching movies and educating yourself be a priority? Not just typing "eat veggies!! light a candle!!" with the tag "#coquette" at the bottom. You have impressionable followers and promoting the "I'm just a girl 🎀..." mentality isn't graceful it's ignorant and fueling more misogyny into the world. But I guess it's all about looking cute and making everything an aesthetic huh

you clearly know nothing about me, just because I don't waste my time watching tv doesn't mean I'm not educated lmao

but hey if you think Netflix and movies make you bright, then go on ig, it seems to be working GREATLY for you <3

if you look a little closer, you will see that my content (not just here but also on my other platforms) is packed with posts on literature, philosophy, and classics. I also regularly publish both poetry and essays, AND I also study classics and Latin, so please stfu 🎀

the most misogynistic thing here is you assuming that just because I'm girly and pretty, I have to be dumb lol

[tiktowafel]

do you ever think about how all you used to draw when you were 10 was ponies and that you should still know how to do that, then get an idea and proceed to draw something like these in nearly one sitting and it turns out better than any drawing you've done in the entire past month

sooo anyway does anyone have cutie mark or pony name ideas for them?? lol

[docholligay]

I don't often share my morning long reads but this is both information worth reading and is funny as hell

[bumblingbabooshka]

[TUVOKTOBER: Day 12] Casual telepathic conversation. There are some things you can't discuss with non-Vulcans.

No text!

The lady Tuvok's talking to is a canon, unnamed background character:

She's ex-Maquis and appears in like two scenes where she doesn't speak.

[eskawrites]

not to get all up in my feelings about art and creativity but today (at work, not even as a fandom thing lmao) one of my friends went out of her way to tell me how much she liked a piece of my writing. and the thing is, i wasn't even that attached to this piece. it's small and written for a work thing and a lil clunky and a lil too personal and i almost didn't share it, but i decided to anyway because whatever

but after she told me that, the first thing i did was go back and re-read it, because i wanted to see what she saw in it. not in a self-deprecating, 'why do you even like this?' way, but just because it meant enough to her to say something about it, and i wanted to read it again through her eyes and wonder which phrases made her stop and think, or how the themes hit home, or what part made her like it enough to tell me about it

and i do that with my fanfic sometimes, too. when someone points out a certain detail or predicts what will happen next or even just says they read this at 2:30 in the morning with their cat on their lap. i read those comments, and i go back and look at this story i made, and i remember that i'm real and they're real and the things i create have changed the world in some tiny, ultimately insignificant way--but it was enough to affect what someone was doing or thinking in that moment

and something i've thought a lot about since covid happened and the vast majority of my social interactions started taking place online (it's a problem, i'm working on it, but it's true nonetheless) is that art really, truly is a love language. and not just when you gift it to people, or when you use it to show appreciation, or however else it can coincide with the traditional love languages. but because it's a way to share a little piece of yourself. and it might be silly and it might be sad and it might be fun and it might be meaningful but no matter what, it comes from you. a lot of the time, it comes from a part of us that we can't really effectively express otherwise. i mean, i can say 'i love x ship' in a thousand different ways but that's never going to compare to pouring my heart into stories or arts or edits exploring all my favorite things about those characters and their dynamic. that's why 'bad' art from writers or artists who don't really know what they're doing is still good--because if it comes from you, if it has meaning to you, it's special

but the thing about love languages is that there has to be a recipient. sometimes my writing is an act of love for myself, and that's good and lovely. but other times, when i share writing with friends or fandom or just strangers on the internet who have a thing or two in common with me, when you become the recipient, it really does transform the work. all these things that are so meaningful to me that i turned them into art are suddenly meaningful to you, too. it's like confessing a secret and having someone say yeah, me too. it's vulnerability and acceptance and kinship and community. it makes me see the things i create in a whole new light. it makes me see myself in a whole new light.

[art-of-wackylurker]

Alright so I've signed up for @starwars-arttrade-2023...

Ladies, Gentlemen, and other assorted Nobles, 767th Recon Division's finest for @mire-draws-things! Not sure if these bois have established armor markings soooooooo I've came up with something fun and unique for each of them (also haven't found if Charm has a specific design yet so I made him a standard trooper but with a septum ring, if he has, sorry xd)

Just a wholesome little piece, simple and cartoonish, but that's just what we need sometimes, you know

But hold up. There's something else under the cut >:)

And of course I couldn't leave Stardust out but since the first piece was already finished when he appeared... Well that's what came out

But anyways, I hope you like these aaaaannnnnnddd have a good day <3

[glindyupland]

I just think it’s silly that so many people complain about Villain Amaya as “wasted potential” and that “we were robbed” like-

My pals, post canon fan fiction is right there. The desire to free her husband is right there. Either by touching an evil book while being too eager to remember the obsidian oil, or being possessed by contact (ie what she believes is true loves kiss) when trying to reason with him in the dungeon.

We don’t need a rewrite, we can have a continuation. Both can be true. Amaya is a complex character, she can handle it.

[giantkillerjack]

Favorite part about Death Note is that Light gets the Note and IMMEDIATELY becomes a serial killer fascist with a god complex.

No build-up, no Fall From Grace, no slow corruption of a good boy gradually becoming a monster. Just-- SPEED RUN STRATS. And I love that for him.

Tbh, I think there are a lot of folks (especially boys) from my high school days who would have immediately become monsters if given the power of life and death over every person around them.

It's kind of like how when people have apparently casual ableist beliefs, and you push them to elaborate on that just a little bit, they'll often end up openly saying stuff like "well, some people are just too disabled to be worth the resources it takes to support them." - Which is... eugenics. It's just eugenics, justified by the myth of scarcity. Now these folks almost certainly won't call it eugenics, or even think of it that way. But that doesn't make it NOT a core belief of the Nazis.

In a similar way, Light seems like a nice and well-adjusted boy with strong beliefs. No harm in that.

But to paraphrase Lindsay Ellis in her analysis of the Game of Thrones ending, "Power doesn't necessarily corrupt. Power reveals." [I think she was quoting someone else when she said this. It was someone who wrote a biography on LBJ. Whatever. Lindsay said it and she's smart as hell and I recommend her videos.]

And 15 minutes into the Death Note musical, I'm already thinking about how so many beliefs "casually" held by well-adjusted, nice people immediately reveal their monstrousness when talked through to their natural conclusion.

And I wonder how many of those people, given the power of life and death over everyone around them - the power to take their ideas to their natural conclusions - would also immediately reveal how their lack of self-reflection has laid the groundwork for them to become monsters.

[musical-chick-13]

I'm once again wondering if I should just find a super-popular ship I can stomach writing, simply so I'll have Lots Of Interaction and therefore, a higher likelihood of Lots Of Validation. Surely this is a very healthy way to think about art, especially the kind I am doing as a fun side hobby :) :) :)

[carewyncromwell]

“Is it rude to say I’d volunteer  For a day of fun just once a year? I’d fly the coop, if only I could... But I've got a really bad case of being good! I’d go find trouble if there was some to get in: Ask a friend to play if I had one to let in... Nana’s rocker sawing through the floor -- Every day just like the one before --  We lock ourselves behind that door... Is it wrong to wish for something more?

~“Good Girl Winnie Foster” from Tuck Everlasting (musical)

x~x~x~x

Carewyn’s gingham dress based on this design // original photo used for the background, edited with Lunapic! 💚

x~x~x~x

If asked about her childhood, Carewyn Cromwell would always say that even if her family was poor and she had to wear a lot of second-hand dresses when she was growing up, she, her mother Lane, and her brother Jacob still were nonetheless able to manage all right. What Carewyn often did not talk about was at just how young of an age she was forced to start looking after herself -- something that many people would look at with quite a bit more dismay than Carewyn herself did, looking back at her own circumstances. 

Now to be clear, Lane Cromwell was a very loving and caring mother -- but with the abandonment of her husband Evan and the abrupt lack of financial income that came with it, Lane had to take on the role of both breadwinner and caregiver simultaneously. While Carewyn was a toddler, that forced Lane to do menial laundry and seamstressing work from home, as well borrow some money from her good friend Judy Castine to help make ends meet until Carewyn could start public school. Once Carewyn did start school, however, Lane still couldn’t afford childcare -- and so, after doing a lot of research and preparation, Lane made the difficult decision to teach her nearly-five-year-old daughter how to walk home from her new primary school. Understandably worried for Carewyn’s safety walking anywhere by herself, Lane used both magical and Muggle means to ensure she would know Carewyn’s location at all times, on her way coming home from school. Lane made contact with several trustworthy adults along Carewyn’s route, like the elderly owner of the local ice cream parlor, Mrs. Sackett, and introduced Carewyn to each of them, so that they could help Carewyn get home in case of an emergency or even call Lane if they didn’t see Carewyn walk by at a specific time. Lane also taught Carewyn about the Knight Bus, which she could always call by sticking her left hand out over the street, just in case anyone tried to hurt or grab her. Judy even gifted Lane a small Magical-Child-Monitor watch from Diagon Alley in preparation of Carewyn’s first year at school, which could always tell Lane whether Carewyn was at “school” or “home,” whether she was “traveling,” or even whether she was “lost” or “in distress.” (The last feature Judy customized to make the watch chirp loudly, just in case Lane didn’t notice it immediately. Lane kind of had wished she hadn’t, given how loud it was, but appreciated the sentiment.)

Most children about to turn five would’ve been petrified at the thought of walking anywhere by themselves. Carewyn, fortunately, had always been a rather brave and independent child -- and considering that she knew her mother needed to keep her job in order to provide for all of them, the little girl took the responsibility onto her tiny shoulders like a champ, walking home with her head held high every day with no sense of fear or resentment. She and Jacob were all their Mum had now, after all, and with Jacob away at school, Carewyn knew she had to do her best to help take care of Lane, just like Lane did her and Jacob. Jacob always made her promise to take care of their mother and flat before leaving for Hogwarts every year...and Carewyn would never break a promise to her brother. 

So every day, from the age of 4 all the way to 11, Carewyn Cromwell walked home from school every single day by herself, straight home to her mother’s and her flat, where she’d lock the door and stay safe inside until her mum came home. And to Lane’s relief, in that entire time, the single mother never heard her Magical-Child-Monitor watch chirp once -- for truly, Carewyn had always been a rather risk-adverse child. Her brother Jacob used to break into the kitchen cabinets and try to drink bleach as a baby, but Carewyn? Lane herself would often compare her daughter to a “little angel,” never starting trouble or getting into anything she shouldn’t. And because Carewyn knew Lane was working so hard trying to do well for her and Jacob, the last thing Carewyn wanted to do was make things more difficult for her mother -- so she stoically followed the same routine every day without complaint, going to school just for her classes and then heading straight home, all the while trying hard to not to let any accidental magic slip out that could make anyone side-eye Carewyn or her family any more than they already did. 

This didn’t mean that Carewyn didn’t ever quietly lament the arrangement, of course. What child wouldn’t? It was hard having to see other kids getting picked up by their parents in their cars when it was wet or snowing outside. It was hard to have to walk straight home when there was an exciting football match going on in the field near the local secondary school. It was hard to sit cooped-up inside when Carewyn could hear all the neighborhood kids riding their bikes on a sunny Friday afternoon. 

But hey, Carewyn told herself gloomily -- she didn’t even have a bike to ride on next to them anyway. And really, she thought more stubbornly, they’d probably just think she was a freak like everyone else did, which meant they’d only say nasty things that would make her upset and make her cast magic by accident anyway. And then she’d scare everyone, and the Ministry would have to come in and fix things...and her mother would worry. Carewyn couldn’t worry Lane...

And so Carewyn stayed inside dutifully, day after lonely day, soldiering through with no complaint. Because really, all of that silence was worth it, the moment Jacob would come home for a holiday break. As soon as he was home, Carewyn wouldn’t be alone, and with someone else around at home, it was safer to go outside without her mother. She and Jacob could walk to the park or the library -- to Mrs. Sackett’s ice cream parlor, or maybe even take a trip to the beach. Even being inside some of the time wasn’t so hard, when Carewyn didn’t always have to be by herself. And then once Lane was home too, they could all eat dinner together, the way Carewyn wished they could every night -- laughing and talking and sharing and bonding the way they all loved doing. And once Carewyn started at Hogwarts herself...well, then she’d be able to go wherever she wanted, whenever she wanted -- be the great witch she wanted to be, instead of the “freak” ginger that the Muggles in her neighborhood would never understand. She’d be able to play out every single wild daydream Jacob and Lane had sparked to life inside of her through all their stories about the magical school -- cast spells, brew potions, visit all the shops of Hogsmeade village...play Quidditch, sing for the Frog Choir...maybe even tame a real-life dragon! 

Carewyn held fast to this thought and never let go of it. Once she could go to Hogwarts and chase her dreams, Jacob and her mother rooting for her all the while...all those silent, cooped-up, lonely days of the past would be worth it. 

[welcometogrouchland]

Words cannot express how much I love the Gloucester brothers from King Lear

[evening-rose-309]

to not spoil it, they quietly killed off the ncr for absolutely no reason and made the BOS victors for some reason.

house is not dead, but for majority fucked over at the battle of the hoover dam. how it is not stated yet.

but you’re pretty much correct everything else, so real “let’s wipe the slate clean bullshit”.

Of course he lost the dam.

The NCR was the main force behind Hoover Dam's acquisition in the first place, wrenching it out from under Caesar at the last second when Hanlon and the Rangers pulled their hail mary.

Without the Bear of the West, the Three Families probably defected into Caesar or fell to the Legion or just straight up deserted House once they realized a couple hundred tanks on tricycles would never be able to stand up to the Several Thousand Trained Berserkers that make up Caesar's Legion by year 2277.

I'm just curious as to what the Tin Can Buffoons will do to him when they find him. Or if he's made contact with Boston yet as his own last stand hail mary, though that part's purely wishful thinking.

[teaboot]

This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.

I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.

(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)

Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.

And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.

I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.

And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.

But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.

But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.

And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.

So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.

And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.

But what if I hadn't known how to do that?

What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?

What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?

My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.

And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?

How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?

I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.

I think I'm gonna frame it.*

(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)