#basically they were immortal old men and some stuff happened

[oldirontender]

soooo,,, *twiddles my thumbs and plays with my hair cutely* idrk how to say this but im not too sure how active im gonna be on this acct bc my ttte hyperfixation has basically completely gone away at this point,, which sucks that it happened so quickly but yeah uh,,, ill still rb some cute art and i'll try to post some things for special occasions maybe but who knows, im still active on my main lycanwlf tho :3 anywhosies,, stay silly :3

[mask131]

I have a question about Greek Mythology, more specifically Hades.

What's the deal with Hades?

What was his original role in Greek mythology and religion, and how and when did the subsequent demonization happened?

Oh, and how correct is it the modern perception that he was "one of the nicest Greek gods"?

Oh a most interesting question indeed! I will try to be as simple and efficient as possible - but since people spend their entire lifetime dissecting this kind of topics I am bound to miss or oversimplify certain details. (I'll put this under a cut because it will be quite long!)

I. Basic stuff

So... In Greek mythology, Hades is one of the "three kings of the world" (not an official term! It is just a random denomination, the same way the Riordan books use "The Big Three"). The six first Olympians, born of Cronos and Rhea, were three sisters and three brothers - and after vanquishing the Titans, the three brothers split the world between them. Zeus had the sky, Poseidon the sea, Hades the underworld.

The role of Hades in Ancient Greek mythology/religion is that he was the ruler of the Underworld and the "king of the deads" so to speak. The underground realm where all the shades went after their physical death is his, and in fact it is often called "Hades" - showing the true connection between the two, since both the realm and the ruler share the same name, Hades the god being LITERALY the personification of the underworld. (I use "shades" because the concept of "souls" would come much later and mostly in philosophico-religious currents, by the old mythological texts the dead were "shades" or "shadows").

Hades main "role" or "function" in the greater scope of things is to maintain not the balance, but the divide between the livings and the dead. On one side, his job is to keep the dead in the Underworld and make sure they do not return or stay among the living. This is why he got VERY pissed off at Sisyphus for cheating death and returning among the living ; and this is why only the greatest and mightiest heroes could manage to bring back a soul from the Underworld (Orpheus, Dionysos). It is also why Hades' main threat, during the whole Persephone debacle, was to unleash the dead upon the world if he wasn't allowed to keep his wife: one thing to understand is that, in the mindset of Ancient Greek religion/mythology, death was not a nice thing. It was a scary and dirty thing - literaly. Death was seen as something impure, the shades of the dead were perceived as being frightening and horrifying. The gods absolutely HATE death and dead things (since you know, they are immortal) - and if the sight of the shades is mostly just unpleasant to them, if the dead returned to earth the humans would all perish in horror and fright upon merely seeing them. (I'm exaggerating a bit - but the Ancient Greeks did have an immense fear of dead spirits and what is beyond death, and so in their mythology going to the Underworld is always a horror movies and even the bravest men shiver in horror merely Upon seeing the shadows even of their loved ones. See Odysseus' journey to the Underworld, not a happy camping trip)

On the reverse, Hades job was also to prevent the living from accessing the Underworld - the living should stay with the living, the dead with the dead. This is why there are so many guardians around the Underworld - Charon, Cerberus and more. Not just to prevent souls escaping, but also to make sure no living being can come down there - hence why very frequently in hero legends a trip to the Underworld must happen at some point to prove their heroism (Herakles, Theseus, Odysseus, Orpheus and more). This clear-cut "isolationism" is part of why Hades very rarely leaves his realm - in fact almost never outside of important business (like snatching a girl out of a field as if she was the last orange juice bottle at a store). Because that's something that is needed to be established: Hades is and is not an Olympian. As in, Ancient Greeks did NOT recognize him as one of the Twelve Olympians, and Hades did not live on or even visited Mount Olympus - mostly because the Underworld is literaly the sort of opposite realm/opposite pole to the celestial, immortal Olympos. But he "was" an Olympian, as in during the Titanomachy he was one of the six gods who dwelled on Olympos and made it their "headquarters" for the war, and he was originally an "Olympian". And while he is not part of the Twelve Gods anymore, he is still one of the major gods of Greek mythology - as proven by one of his famous titles, "Chthonian Zeus". He is literaly the "dark twin" or "dark clone" of Zeus - both supreme masters over their respective realms, the sky and the underground, the up and the above, immortality and death.

If you want a more technical term to designate Hades' Olympian/notOlympian status, you can use Cronid, a term designating the children of Cronos.

II. Was Hades nice?

Now that the basis were laid down, I'll tackle your specific questions. What about the modern "Hades was the nicest god"? Well... it is a yes or no. It is important to fight off the "demonization" of Hades and to point out he was not an evil god. Depictions of Hades in the Disney Hercules movie or the remake of the Clash of Titans, depicting him as some sort of evil plotter out there to overthrow Zeus - that's deeply wrong. I'll return to the demonization later. Yes, Hades (unlike Zeus or Poseidon) wasn't a womanizer who went around sleeping with everything ; yes, Hades did not meddle with human businesses, caused wars or threw curses left and right ; yes, Hades always stuck to his word, and always respected the law, and just did his job and didn't bother anyone else with it. And that, indeed, makes him much more positive than what we usually think of him as. However! Positive does not mean "nice". Hades was FAR from being a "nice" or "benevolent" god.

The thing with Hades is that he is neutral. A neutral entity, in all that it entails. As a result yes he is "positive", as much as neutrality can be. But the key trait of Hades is that he is what you would call today "heartless" ; or rather "flint-hearted" to take more ancient poetic imagery. Hades always stick to his word and to the rules and just does his job and duty, true... But he is also an extremely stern, austere authority figure who never allows for any nuance or compromise (the fact the whole Persephone deal could even be settled by a compromise is like a big WOW!). Hades does not have pity or compassion for people. He is not moved by tears, by cries, by begging, by anything. If he felt pity every time someone begged him to release a dead back to the living, well he wouldn't do his job anymore so to speak. Hades is a cold and uncaring figure in many ways: the whole reason Orpheus' plea to Hades is remembered as the peak of his legend, is because Orpheus managed to MOVE Hades. He managed, with his magic and emotion, to touch Hades' heart, something that NEVER happened before and that no other mortal ever did. This is VERY important. Hades embodies the cosmic rule of "the dead are dead, and the living are the living, and that's it." In a sense he is a form of cosmic balance and justice who maintains the world in order ; but to human eyes, he is still an unfair oppressor who enacts and defends the principle of death in all that is unfair to our mortals' eyes. This is part of the complex beauty of the Persephone legend: you have Demeter and Hades, life and death, battling over the young girl (who embodies all young people), and both are in the right and both are in the wrong. Because Hades stands by a stern, cosmic point of view: what belongs to the dead belongs to the dead, there's no return and no use in obsessing over what is gone. But Demeter stands by a human point of view: she is a mother who saw her young child being taken by an early and unpredicted death, and she tries her best to mourn and return her daughter to her.

Another thing people tend to forget is that Hades is not a joyful or humoristic or enjoyable god to be around. There's a lot of takes of Hades as a, I don't know, shy little thing or joyful person. But Hades was in the image of his realm. A cold, dark, damp place devoid of laughter or smiles or light. Nobody is happy in the Underworld in the sense we understand it. Yes the Greek Underworld has the Elysian Fields, which is the Ancient Greek equivalent of Paradise - but it also has Tartaros, the Ancient Greek equivalent of Hell. And here's the thing... The Elysian Fields and Tartarus are not the "regular" Underworld. They are extremes and special cases. The Elysian Fields are only for mighty heroes - and heroes are not your regular Joe, and they are above regular humans. Tartaros is for those that perosnally offended the gods, and again this is not an everyday occurence. Regular people, be them good or bad, rich or powerful, famed or unknown, ended up in an Underworld that people describe mostly today as the "Asphodean Fields". Just... a life of endless wandering and awaiting. As shades, living shadows without any body (and thus without any need or desire). They don't even have a voice - one must bring them blood sacrifice for them to speak again - and they sometimes don't have memories thanks to the whole Lethe deal. This is just... the very typical Antique conception of the drab and dreary underworld that you find back from Hel's realm to Ereshkigal's domain. A place of shadows and silence, or forgetfulness and endless, meaningless wandering, a place without punishment or reward, just to keep what doesn't live anymore. "All equal in death", but this equality is not pleasant. And thus Hades himself is not pleasant. Heck, one of his epithets, Agelastos, was tied to the concept of "melancholy", and another, Stygeros, means "horrible".

While Hades seems to a modern audience much more pleasant and decent due to his role (or non-role) in myths compared to other deities, we have to remember how the Ancient Greeks themselves considered him. And the Ancient Greeks DREADED Hades. They feared him - one had to avoid calling him directly by his name (hence his numerous nicknames, often pleasant in the old apotropaic logic of calling negative entities by nice names not to anger them - like the Erynies becoming the Eumenides, the "kind ones". Similarly Hades was "The Rich One", "The Host of Many", "the Chthonian Zeus", all names based on his traits but twisted in a way that sounds more pleasant). Hades was at the core of Ancient Greek superstitions because there was the belief that attracting Hades' attention would cause one to have an early death, or to be "welcomed" too early in his realm. You know, it is the old logic of "death calls for death", "since death is a soilure, it can corrupt the living who interact too much with it", "if the god of the dead pays too much attention to you, he might send his underlings go get you". And while Hades was dreaded, his underlings were EVEN MORE SO (Hades wasn't the god of death per se... but he was the god who could boss around the personification of death, Thanatos, and he had "hired" numerous primordial monsters, such as Cerberus).

So while Hades was more positive than, let's say Ares or Hera in mythologies... It doesn't mean he was liked or perceived as a jolly good fellow. The most accurate thing we can say is that Hades was a lot like Hestia: the most neutral of the "Olympians". But "neutral" doesn't mean "good", "nice" or "pleasant"...

III. The demonization of Hades

Now that I took down the recent "moeification" of Hades, I do need to talk about his demonization, since you asked. Hades might have not been a pleasant guy or a good guy, he was dreaded and hated by the Ancient Greeks, and by extension the other gods were known to be uneasy with him or not particularly wishing to interact... But there was a big demonization inflicted upon him that clearly turned him into an evil caricature of what was just a scary neutral big force of the dark side of the world.

When did it start? I would guess with Christianity. And it isn't just how Christianity, when it came to the Greco-Roman world, slowly started taking actual deities and turned them into devils and demons (the most famous example being Pan and the satyrs who provided most of the devilish imageries of the Middle-Ages). You see, one key element must be taken into account: Bible translations. One of the most famous and spread out Bible translations was the Greek one, and the Greek translation used the term "Hades" quite regularly - to designate very negative and unpleasant death-places like the Sheol or the Gehenna, that would later become the Christian Hell. A Hell typically called "Hades" in Greek - clearly divided from the Heaven/Paradise of God and angels. And this would be the start of Christian culture assimilating Hades with the devil, demons, and the torments of the dead.

This religious confusion still exists today in many countries with a dominant Christian culture. For example, in France there is this famous linguistic complexity. French languag does not have a single world for "underworld" as the English have - or rather they are, but they are not commonly used. So in common language, the mythical underworlds of various cultures are designated by "enfer"... a world which means "hell", in the Christian sense of the term. Which always forces people to explain "Greek Hell wasn't Christian Hell". In fact, the tacit rule is that to designate the Christian Hell, you must use "l'enfer", singular, while for a mythical underworld you must use "les enfers", in plural. But it is still very, very confusing.

And so, through Christianity, Bible translations, demonization of Greek principles, etc etc, we ended up with stuff like the Disney Hercules movie, whose original concept-art for Hades was literaly just the Christian "red horned devil living in flames":

IV. The technical details

Now this post is already a bit long so I'll move on to the last thing you specifically asked - origins and religion. (Because so far I speak mostly of mythology or broad point of views)

Hades did have a cult and worship, since he was one of the main gods of Ancient Greece. But it was a careful worship, due to the superstitions I evoked above. For example you did sacrifices to Hades, of black-colored animals whose blood was thrown on the ground or in a pit - but by avoiding looking at Hades' faces (well his statue's). You could praise Hades, pray him or call for him, even banging the earth with your hands to make sure he heard you - but you avoided saying his name, and you certainly did NOT use his name for oaths.

Mind you Hades HAD a worship... but not a big one. In fact, his sanctuaries and temples were so rare in Ancient Greece that a scholia of the Iliad went as far as to claim there were none at all and Hades was a cult-less god. Pausanias did note that the only place where he knew of a real cult of Hades was the Peloponesse city of Elis, where Hades had a temple opened only once a year, to welcome Hades' priest and him only, and then it was closed for another year ; but he evoked other cults he heard about elsewhere, and Strabo did mention an Hades worship at another Peloponese city, Hermione. Though, again, reports are conflicting - some authors claiming Hades had libations of the blood of black sheep and bulls, others like Euripides saying Hades never had any libation... And we do know of some "peasant ritual" or "agrarian superstitions" where before sowing a field, the farmer had to call and pray to the Chthonian Zeus (aka Hades). That was because Hades, as the master of the underworld, also was seen as having ownership and influence over everything located below ground - be it the grain under the soil, or the various metals and stones dug out of mines. This is why his most famous and common epithet was "Plouton", "The Rich One, "The Wealthy One" - and also why Hades got involved with Demeter, as the Persephone myth can be read in an agrarian angle (Demeter is the life-force force of plants and the goddess of harvest and crops ; Hades is the one who keeps the grains under the earth until they grow out of the surface).

Finally, Hades' name is written in Ancient Greek "Aides", or variations "Aidos, Aidoneus", which is commonly agreed to etymologically mean "The Unseen One". A good reflection of Hades as the master of all the things located beyond life (afterlife) and below earth (underworld), associated with darkness and shadows and the things you SHOULD NOT SEE. Plus there's how, during the early Titanomachy, of the Cyclops' three gifts, Hades received a "helmet of invisibility" that prevented anybody from seeing him.

[slippinmickeys]

Bonus Old Chem Prompt

For Nicole.

1. “So what’s your area of study?” he said. “I can’t believe I haven’t thought to ask.”

They were walking to their cars, so late that it could properly be called early. The storm cells had finished passing through by midnight, and the air was as humid and thick as hot soup. She nudged him companionably with her shoulder. 

They had talked all night, but the storm and the dark and the mood had leant the night an air of confidence, and they’d talked about big-picture stuff; hopes, fears, childhood traumas, until Scully began to yawn and the weather outside had quieted. All the stuff you talk about once you get past the getting-to-know-you phase had been hashed out and argued. All that was left were the details. 

“I study the chemical processes of negligible and negative senescence,” she said. 

His mental rolodex whirled until the right catalog card came up. He looked down at her in wonder. 

“Immortality?” he said, unable to keep the intrigue out of his voice. 

“Close enough.”

“That’s wild.” 

“Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it,” she said impishly.  Then, “This is me.”

She stopped in front of a silver Volkswagen Passat, and Mulder pivoted until he was standing in front of her. 

“I enjoyed my time in the dark with you,” he said, his voice a little low. 

“Let’s do it again,” she said, and then lifted herself up onto her toes and pressed her lips into his, lingering there. 

When she finally pulled away, he was a little lightheaded and dazed. 

“I’d like that,” he finally managed to say. 

2. “I used to be married,” she said, her nose pressed into the bare skin of his bicep. 

They had kicked off all but the sheet and she was still coming down from the high of a shared climax, her leg still thrown over both of his. 

Mulder’s first thought was widow, because this was not a woman you lost if you could help it. 

He was trying to figure out how to ask when she went on. 

“He lives in Seattle now.” 

It was a Sunday, and sheaves of the newspaper they’d been passing back and forth were strewn half on the bed and half on the floor. The last wisps of steam were wafting up from cups of coffee on either side of the bed and an uneaten croissant sat on a plate under a wedge of sunlight. 

“What’s his name?” Mulder asked her quietly. He’s not sure why that was his first question, but it was. 

“Ethan,” she said. 

She knew all about Diana, their almost-wedding, her affairs and blow-ups and his disastrous attempts to make excuses for her. His years of swearing off women.

“Is it bad that I didn’t tell you?”

He reached out with the arm she was pressed to and pulled her until her head was resting on his chest. 

“We’ve only been dating a month,” he said. “I’m sure there’s a lot we don’t know about each other.” 

At this, they both chuckled. They’d shared more than most couples who’d been together five times as long. 

“What happened?” he asked. 

“We wanted the same things,” she said. “In the bedroom.”  And before he could ask if she meant to say the word different, she finished with: “Namely, men.”

Mulder clenched his teeth. “Ouch,” he said. 

She shrugged a shoulder into his armpit. “We’re still friends.” 

Mulder had to tilt his head back to look down at her. 

“I’m friends with his husband Bruce, too.”

3. She slunk into the back of the lecture hall fifteen minutes before class was up and lowered herself into an empty chair on the upper right. 

“So we’ve gone over our long list of elements of psychopathology,” he went on with his lecture. “Let’s touch on some of the basic causes before we break for the day. Broad strokes stuff, here. Anyone want to offer something up?”

A girl in front with perfect posture raised her hand. 

“Go ahead,” he said. 

“Genetics?” she asked. 

“Yep, genetics.” He wrote this on the whiteboard.  

An older looking student in the middle offered up: “Are there social causes?” 

“Sure are,” Mulder said, and wrote social on the board as well. 

“Anyone else? I’ll start calling on people, I’m not as shy as you,” he went on. A few people chuckled. 

He pointed at one of the laughers. “What have you got?”

“Um…psychological?” the kid said. 

A couple more people chuckled at this answer, and Mulder wrote it on the board. 

“This is a 101 level lecture, guys, don’t laugh at Jeremy. It’s okay to use the name of the class in the class. There are plenty of psychological causes of psychopathology. It’s in the title.”

To his left, his TA yawned and looked at his watch. Mulder flitted his eyes up to Scully, who seemed to be enjoying watching him. Suddenly he couldn’t care less about the class and just wanted to be with her.

“Last one and you guys can get out of here. Anybody?”

A few people looked around the room to see if anyone was going to answer. 

“Nobody?” he called out. 

From the back of the small auditorium, he heard a familiar, welcome voice. 

“Biology!” Scully called out. 

Mulder couldn’t help but smile. “A personal favorite,” he said, and turned to write it on the whiteboard. 

Kids were already folding their laptops and shoving notebooks in backpacks. 

“Okay, yes, I said I’d let you go.” The volume of shuffling and movement went up and he had to raise his voice a bit to be heard over it. “Assigned reading is in the syllabus. I won’t be available for office hours at the normal times next week, so reach out to Gary,” at this he pointed at his TA, though most of the students were already on their way out the lecture hall, “to set something up. Have a good long weekend!”

He moved behind the podium to grab his phone and his own laptop, and when he looked up, Scully was on her way down the steps, fighting the current of retreating students. 

“Hey,” he said as she approached, and he swung his bag over his shoulder and, with a glance up to see if anyone was paying attention (they weren’t), leaned down and gave her a quick kiss. He fell into step with her, heading for the rarely used exit at the bottom of the lecture hall. 

“Hey,” she said, smiling up at him. “Welcome back.”

“Thank you,” he replied, reaching forward to hold open the door so that she could walk through. 

“How was your trip?” 

“Good,” he said. “Uneventful.”

“You’re back for a bit now, right?” she said. “Before your next thingy?” She looked a little anxious when she asked. She must have something on her mind.

“The technical term,” he said, as they stepped into the flow of student traffic in the hallway that led to the front of the building. “About that. I actually had a question for you.”

“Oh?” she said. 

“You first,” he said, pulling to a stop in the foyer of the building. “You look like you had something else you wanted to ask?”

She averted her gaze from his, which was unusual. “My parents invited us over for dinner,” she said. “I told them about you. And they want to meet you. If that’s okay.”

Mulder rocked back a little on his heels. Diana’s folks had died before they got together and he hadn’t had any girlfriends before her serious enough for parental vetting. The last time he’d met a woman’s parents, he was standing in Missy Sander’s living room pinning a homecoming corsage on her velvet dress while her mother hovered nearby.

Nevertheless, Scully was important to him, and her parents were important to her. 

“I’d love to,” he said, smiling, and noted the relieved slump of her shoulders. 

“Great,” she breathed. “I told them it might not be until after the holidays. We’ll both have midterms to grade and then things usually get crazy.”

“Whenever you want,” Mulder said gamely. “I’ll bring a nice bottle of wine and be on my best behavior.”

She smiled up at him warmly. 

“You said you had a question for me?”

“I did,” he said, grabbing her coat from her hands and holding it up so that she could shrug into it. He put on his directly after, and then held open the door for her to exit into the cold, brisk day. 

“So I’m the faculty advisor to the ski club,” he went on. 

She gave him a look. “You never told me this.”

“It’s not normally very interesting. Anyway, the club is heading to a resort up north over the long weekend, and the school will pay for my lift tickets. Any chance you want to join me?”

“You ski?” she asked. Her incredulity was amusing.

“It’s literally the club’s only requisite for an advisor,” he admitted. “Do you?” 

“Not once in my whole life. I’m from San Diego, Mulder.”

“California has mountains.” 

“And I’ve never been on them. But a resort sounds like it might be nice…Are there fireplaces? Hot tubs?”

“More than you can count,” he answered, picturing her in a bikini, picturing her reading a book while lounging on a bearskin rug. 

“Then I’d love to join you,” she smiled at him, the vapor of her breath dissipating in front of her. 

4. The resort was sprawling, the main lodge done up in the Bavarian style, which was only a little off putting as they were in the only high country in the Midwest. Fairly large hills rose up above the roof of the lodge, covered in snow and dotted with skiers and snowboarders. Several chairlifts served the hills (they could not accurately be called ‘mountains’), spaced at even intervals amongst the small range. 

“I have to admit it’s charming,” Scully said, when they walked in, most of the people around them clomping around in hard ski boots. 

The interior decor was dated. Old wooden skis were crossed on the wall over the front desk, and vintage ski posters decorated the walls, and all, Scully assumed, had been up since they were new. The staff was friendly, though, and when they walked into their room, she was doubly impressed. 

“Mulder,” she said, nearly speechless. 

He closed the door behind her, smiling. He had splurged and sprung for the nicest suite they had (complete with updated decor) – the only one with both a fireplace and its own hot tub, which was on a large balcony that overlooked the ski hills. 

“Does the university know they’re paying for this?” she asked. 

“I get a small lodging stipend,” he explained. “I may have chipped in a little of my own money.”

“A little?” she said, moving into the room and picking up a bottle of champagne that was waiting on ice for them along with a couple of local chocolates and a dozen red roses. 

“The stipend probably covers the champagne and two of the roses,” he said, sidling up to her and sliding a hand across her belly. 

She turned in his arms until she was facing him. 

“Then let’s get your money’s worth,” she purred. 

5. It was the first full day of the trip, and the students of the club had invited them to join them in the bar in the basement of the lodge. It had equally dated decor, but a small stage in the corner with a decent band who was playing 90’s hits at a reasonable volume. 

The club–made up of a dozen kids–more guys than girls–was on their fifth pitcher of beer and showing no signs of slowing down. Mulder and Scully had already had a couple cups each, but were settling in, watching the shenanigans with benevolent bemusement. The table was littered with empty cups and pitchers, along with a scattered detritus of ski gear; helmets with mirrored goggles, gloves, a few errant neckwarmers. 

Patrick Fitzpatrick, a senior, and the president of the Ski Club held up his beer to Mulder while nodding at Scully, who sat demurely next to him in a coat that was very obviously not ready to hit the slopes. 

“So Dr. Mulder,” he called out past the four people sitting in between them. “How long have you and Dr. Scully been going out?” 

All other conversation at the table stopped in a decidedly record-scratch-like moment. All eyes shifted to them. 

Fitzpatrick had taken a few of Mulder’s classes–enough to think he was cool enough to ask to be the club’s advisor–though Mulder wasn’t sure his major required anything but the most remedial science credits. Scully’s job was research based, and the few classes she taught were mostly 400 and graduate level. Only one of the kids in the club had ever had her as a professor. Scully had barely left their suite–he’d wondered how they even knew she was on the trip when they’d asked Mulder if both of them wanted to come and hang out. 

Mulder cleared his throat and looked to Scully, asking silent permission. She snorted a small laugh and took a slug of beer. 

“A few months,” he answered, looking around the table. 

Molly, the one girl who’d taken classes from Scully, looked away with an abashed smile. 

“And how long do you think you might continue dating?” Fitzpatrick burped. 

Mulder nearly laughed out loud. The kid was a putz, came from Chicago money, but he had a mien that could charm the socks off a horse with white feet. 

“At least as long as it’ll take you to graduate, Fitzpatrick,” Mulder answered. “How many credits shy are you? You know you have to actually pass a class for them to count.”

The table erupted in laughter, everyone beginning to take shots at Fitzpatrick, who took on the ribbing with gracious humor. Next to him, Scully pulled out her phone which was buzzing, took a look at the display and stood. 

“I have to take this,” she whispered in his ear, slipping away while the table was still abuzz with jubilant teasing. 

She came back about ten minutes later, her face long and ashen. She held her phone in her hand limply.

“Scully?” he said, half standing from his seat when he saw her.

The few people sitting near Mulder noticed and the table quieted down quickly. 

“It’s my Dad,” she said, swallowing thickly. 

“Everything okay?” he asked. 

“No,” she said, shaking her head, shocky. “He’s dead.”

[paradisetemporarilymisplaced]

So I was being a basic bitch the other day and listening to my true crime podcasts when it occurred to me just how suspicious Nile’s “death” would look to everyone not in the Guard, leading me to a train of thought that, 2200 words later, absolutely got away from me but I can’t let go so I’m inflicting it on all of you!

To set the stage, we know the movie takes place over approximately a week. Here’s what happens to Nile from the military’s point of view:

She dies is very seriously injured

She heals without a scratch

Just before she’s supposed to be shipped out to Germany, she vanishes, leaving two men concussed (and presumably reporting being knocked out by a woman with short hair wearing civilian clothes)

She goes AWOL for several days

They get word from the CIA that she is to be reported killed in action (details unclear)

So, at the beginning of this very weird week, the USMC has to tell Nile’s family of her death critical injury. What her family was told depends on how long she was dead – a Google search tells me that family will be notified in person within 8 hours of a soldier’s death, but we don’t know how long her first death lasted. For an injury, however, they’d get a phone call to notify them and the unit would arrange for them to visit as soon as the soldier is transferred out of a combat zone. Like I remember when I was in high school, a guy from my church who was a Marine was really seriously injured in a helicopter crash in Iraq and from what I could tell, his parents were told immediately and were flown out to Germany to see him, so it stands to reason that Nile’s family would have been informed relatively quickly after her throat was slashed, one way or another.

And then, she goes AWOL. Her family would be notified while the USMC tried to figure out where she went, not least because the military would want to know if she’s contacted them. (And it’s possible that her family may have been on the way to Germany to see her since we know that’s where she was supposed to go!) So for several days:

Nile’s mom and brother have no idea where she is

They know she was seriously injured and most certainly should not have been moving around on her own

They can’t get a hold of her

The military can’t tell them anything

And the next thing they know for sure is that she was “killed in action.” After being injured and vanishing into thin air. And they presumably cannot produce her body or any concrete evidence of her death. In any case, something sketchy is going on, so they’re like. SMELLS LIKE A MILITARY COVERUP.

In a surprise to probably no one, there is a well-documented legacy of mysterious US military deaths, particularly of women of color (TW for sexual assault in these links). The cases of LaVena Johnson and Vanessa Guillenin particular have made national news because of their families’ persistence in seeking justice. Likewise, Nile is a Black woman, and her mom and brother are most certainly hypercognizant of (a) state violence against Black people and (b) these high-profile cases of suspicious military deaths. So her family are seriously side-eyeing the situation, knowing that (a) the military has a serious incentive (and a documented history) of covering up things that make them look bad and (b) nothing about Nile’s disappearance and supposed death are adding up.

And Andy’s right. Nile does come from warriors. And you know who else does? Her brother.

Don’t get me wrong. Nile’s mom would absolutely not back down. She’d know something was up and want to get to the bottom of it. But based on what I know about Gen X parents (mine), they’re not the most technologically savvy. Like they can use the internet, but they didn’t grow up with it the way we young millennials and Gen Z did. So Nile’s brother takes the lead. And what do zillennials do best?

Social media.

Nile’s brother starts going hard on any site he can, trying to get the word out to see if anyone knows what happened to his sister. He starts a Reddit thread. He starts a Facebook group. He reaches out to the media and true crime bloggers and podcasters à la Sarah Turney, getting loud and being a general nuisance in hopes of getting some answers. He gets his friends and Nile’s friends involved. Maybe eventually Dizzy, Jay, and others from Nile’s unit hear about it and reach out, telling him what they saw and how weird it all was. He’s drumming up interest, and soon “Nile Freeman” becomes a household name (at least among the true crime fans).

Copley is, of course, trying his best, but at this point there is just so much that it’s impossible for him to scrub everything. Sure, he can erase new footage of Nile and the Guard, but what can he do about Reddit threads and podcast episodes that are speculating something weird has happened? Maybe he could hack the sites and shut those things down, but honestly, that’s the last thing he’d want to do, because that only adds weight to the theory that Nile’s disappearance is a military coverup. So eventually he has to tell Andy what’s going on.

Andy, obviously, does not take the news well. However, she is also completely computer illiterate, because that’s Booker’s job and he’s the only one who ever bothered to learn what the internet is in any meaningful way. (She probably calls Booker for advice, and for the record, I think Booker would have no qualms about shutting down conspiracy threads, tinhats be damned, but Copley is too concerned about the consequences. He’s ex-CIA for crying out loud, he knows how it’ll look if they scrub every mention of Nile’s name from the internet.) Maybe she confers with Joe and Nicky but, let’s be honest, they’d be equally unhelpful. So at this point, she knows they have to bring in Nile.

But the thing about Nile is that she, too, knows how to use the internet (duh). Aside from her being a young millennial/digital native, we know from the cave scene where she’s giving Booker suggestions on how to track Copley that she clearly is even more computer savvy than the average person. And for that reason she almost definitely took over the day-to-day tech stuff after Booker’s exile. So I think it would be foolish to expect her to be unaware of what’s happening. She’s not contacting her family or posting on the message boards or anything, but she knows what’s up. So Copley and the team probably sit her down to “break the news,” but we know the girl does not have a poker face (see: literally shooting herself in the foot and not being able to play it cool whatsoever) and cracks immediately, telling them she’s seen everything about her case – she’s not interacting with any of it, she certainly didn’t instigate anything, but she knows. (And she is so goddamn proud of her brother.)

At this point, I’d like to pause and consider Nile’s role in the overall narrative of this movie. She’s set up as a foil to Andy, obviously, but she’s also a foil to Booker. Booker, who, like Andy, is a serious pessimist, but who, unlike Andy, still has very fresh memories and trauma associated with being the new kid, which have destroyed him. In his mind (and Andy’s), if Nile communicates with her family, she’ll become just like him in a century or two – bitter, alone, and stuck with her grief and memories of watching her family die and knowing they died resenting her. It’s a small sample size, but this is the only experience they have to go off of.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

There’s been a lot of discussion of TOG being a fundamentally queer movie – a group of people brought together because of something inherent about themselves that is different, that must be hidden, that causes others to hate, fear, and reject them. Booker’s backstory is the archetypal traumatic “coming out” story – his family learns who he is, hate him for it, and attempt to cast him out of their lives. He’s stuck with his trauma, his pain, his loss, and it consumes him.

But what if Nile’s family would be the opposite? What if her “coming out” to them as immortal is met with acceptance, love, celebration? What if her family is just overjoyed to have her back, and they don’t care what the circumstances are? I'm reminded of this incredible post from @shitty-old-guard-deaths a while back, where Nile’s mother hits Booker with a frying pan because “my baby let me believe she was dead for FIVE YEARS based on your bad advice???” (which may or may not have inspired this whole tangent). Nile takes the advice of someone who did the same thing she wants to do because she doesn’t want to risk her family’s rejection. She wants the good memories with her family and is afraid that showing them her true self will bring her unbearable pain, forever replacing those memories. But, with high risk comes high reward.

Anyway. Nile and the team are trying to come up with a plan for how to handle this whole thing, but she’s not really participating because she’s too afraid to hope. Until finally, quickly, so she doesn’t lose her nerve, she suggests she reach out to them, knowing that, realistically, that’s the only solution before things snowball even further out of control. The team is shocked, but realize that she has a point. They decide that Copley should actually be the first point of contact, posing as a US government official to talk with them and test the waters.

So Copley goes to Nile’s family’s house to talk with her mom and brother. They’re probably distrustful and apprehensive, but nonetheless secretly ecstatic that their work has paid off. They talk and review all of the information that they’ve collected, including testimonials from the people on Nile’s base and recent sightings (along with photos) of Nile (with the same three people) over the last few years that people have sent them but they haven’t posted publicly. At this point, Copley’s like, yeah this is about to blow up, we gotta put our cards on the table. He convinces them to come with him to some safe house/black site/whatever he can get that is technologically impenetrable (I’m picturing them in like, an interrogation room at a police station kind of deal), takes their phones, locks the doors, and brings in Nile.

What follows is the most delightful reunion scene of all time, bringing Joe, Nicky, and even Andy to tears as they watch and listen from outside the room. With Copley’s help, Nile tells her mom and brother about her immortality and what’s been going on since she died (within reason, of course), and they are thrilled. They don’t understand why (because no one does) but they don’t question it and they see it as a gift from God – she’s been resurrected, she will live, and she has a purpose. Her mother and brother are so happy to see her again and are willing to agree with pretty much anything to stay in her life as long as they can.

So. They set up some complicated agreement (they bring in the other three for support/intimidation as needed) setting the terms of their relationship. They swear Nile’s family to secrecy, maybe bringing up the lab to show how high the stakes are, and they readily agree. They come up with some cover story for Nile’s brother to share on the message boards (maybe that the government has opened an investigation but because it’s an open case he has to shut it all down? Tells people to direct their tips somewhere else? Something to that effect). There’s still speculation, of course, but without Nile’s brother at the helm providing the energy, the hype dies down as news stories are wont to do without any movement. And Nile’s family goes to work for the team. The experience has taught them that Copley can’t possibly do everything himself, especially when it comes to social media, so Nile’s brother takes the lead on the day-to-day tracking/social media while Copley and her mom focus on finding jobs and scrubbing their traces afterward.

So there you have it: Nile gets to integrate her biological family into her found family and spend the rest of their lives with them as it should be, Copley gets some badly needed help managing the reality of social media, the team finally has a positive narrative surrounding outsiders Knowing About Them AND about interacting with people from their previous life, and the audience gets the happy ending to this very lovely and very queer story to counteract the pain associated with Booker’s family.

Plus, you know, I’m a sucker for both a good government conspiracy theory and for Nile getting every good thing she deserves.

[seyenna]

Philza and/or Techno and/or Ranboo fic recs

just some of my fav dsmp fics, mainly phil, techno or ranboo bc i’m biased but also a bunch of sbi and others

this one goes out mainly to zablr discord my beloved

pls tell me if the links don’t work

all of these are on ao3

rating\status(complete/ongoing)\warnings\word count\misc tags

ichor flows free amongst the iron by summer_rising

T\o\violence\13k\series\gods AU

Summary:

A gods and goddesses AU of the Dream SMP, dramatized for all our benefits.

First work:

  "Two gods meeting on a mountaintop overlooking the stormy sea? Very classy, Dream, I appreciate your taste."

  Dream didn't turn to look at him, but the faint shake of his shoulders let Techno know he had heard.

  "Scar's healing up nicely, I see," Techno mumbled with a light nod of his head.

  "Mhm. Cut nice and clean. Not that I expected any less from you, of course."

   ~~

   The god of power and the god of luck meet on a mountaintop to discuss Luck's standing in the ongoing political disaster.

We're Only Young by ImperialKatwala

G\o\-\66k\series\Dream & Technoblade

It's easy to forget amid the chaos and bloodshed how similar - and how young - Dream and Technoblade really are.

And when the sun comes up, you'll find a brand new god. by SkyboxZoo

M\o\violence\19k\gods AU

Summary:

The wounds from the fight had healed nigh instantly, but the golden blood still soaked Techno’s shirt. His cloak had gotten torn off and his hair had fallen out of its pony-tail. Ichor pooled in his boots. The man left a trail of golden, bloody footprints in his wake.

old gods (new gods) by WriterWinged

T\o\-\9k\series\gods AU

Summary of first work:

Survival, Blood, Madness. Philza, Technoblade, Wilbur Soot. Three gods who have never cared for mortal life, who play with them when they want to, who kill their toys just as easily. How, then, did a mortal end up in their hands?

This House Is A Fucking Nightmare by SilverWing15

T\c\-\17k\series\sbi

Summary:

AU Where Phil isn't quite as willing to stand by while his sons drop like flies

Summary of third part (my fav):

Does lingering too long in the shadow of a god make you a god? The voices in his head seem to think so.

His brothers know he's older than them but they don't know how much

OR: Technoblade doesn't think his brothers realize how different they are from ordinary men. After all, ordinary men may fight the gods, but they don't win.

It's been a long day. by BecausePlot

G\c\-\3k\Philza & Ranboo

Summary:

Sides are bad: he knows that much. He’s seen it tear people apart time and time again, so when he decided to separate himself from Tubbo and keep his distance, he knew he was in the right.

Well. He thought he was in the right, at the time. Sitting all by himself on the steps to the Prime Path, he’s not so sure anymore.

Yes, the sides might have torn the others apart, might have made them so weak that they have no choice but to fold under Dream’s hand, but at least they aren’t lonely.

So are sides bad?

‘I don’t know.’

~*~

Or, Ranboo looks out at the ruins of L'Manburg, feeling more lost and lonely than he ever has.

But, as he soon finds, he's not as alone as he thinks.

the voices in my head, they say a lot of things by rosyasteria

-\c\violence\1k\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

Some days the voices didn’t listen. They didn’t let up. They screamed instead of whispered, relentless, assaulting his ears until they bled.

tell them i was the warmest place you knew and you turned me cold by rosyasteria

-\c\-\2k\Techonblade-centric

Summary:        

Technoblade cared. But in the end it just fucked him over.

For the majority of his life, Techno felt like less of a companion, less of a family member, and more like a weapon to be wielded. 'The Blade' they called him; never 'friend'.

It Leaves Little Time for Anything Else by mirandible

M\c\-\1k\part of series\Dream & Technoblade

Summary:

   A young man aims for the top, but fate has other plans for him. So does Technoblade, apparently.

   (Or: answering the question of “Why does Techno hide his scars if they’re supposed to be some sort of trophy? Why keep your point of pride a secret?”)

the best requiem is a bar of silence (and I'll sing it, even if I must hold back my tears) by jello12451

T\o\-\10k\Philza & Technoblade

Summary:

   He can’t help the noise of celebration that escapes him. Techno- this means that Techno’s free, and he got his horse back, and everything is alright-

  Tubbo, filled with rage at Phil’s cheers, turns and impulsively shoots an arrow.

   He doesn’t expect to hit his target.

---

  Alternatively: What if Phil didn't have a bucket of water when Tubbo shot him?

Change fate by being aggressively kind by sircantus

T\o\-\13k\sbi, Philza-centric

Summary:

   “You do understand that you’re caring for the thing meant to bring destruction and chaos to our world, right?” The woman asks, Phil looking behind him fondly as Techno grabs at the ends of his wings.

   “He’s just a child.” Phil answers distractedly, humming as his wings get gently yanked at.

   “He’s the first of three to destroy life as we know it! Shouldn’t we, well, get rid of him?!”

   “Oh, no.” Phil raises his eyes with a sharp glare. “Believe me, I have my own way of preventing the apocalypse.”

   ---

   Or, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy are basically chaotic forces of nature, destined from birth to end the world and bring destruction. Most who hear of the tale of them are trying their best to track them down, and to end the monsters while they’re still young, still just children.

   Phil has a different plan.

   (In which Phil raises the minecraft equivalents of the anti-christ with love and support, so much so to the point where the world ending is really just a funny thought, and Phil has three kids who casually have powers that are bit more extreme than anything else in the world)

I promised you that everything would be fine by findingkairos

G\c\-\6k\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

   manifestation: (n.)

1.     an event, action, or object that clearly shows or embodies something abstract or theoretical;

2.     a version or incarnation of something or someone;

3.     an appearance of a ghost or spirit;

4.     the Blood God.

When he's young and still alone, still establishing his reputation as the immortal warrior, Technoblade makes up an imaginary friend.

Years later, the blood god is very real and very much a god: one that is prepared to do anything for their first and only friend.

the inner mechanism of a black box by Bee_4

T\c\violence, self-harm\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

   Technoblade lets himself get imprisoned for Philza’s sake. He doesn’t plan on being there long. Unfortunately, he’s underestimated Pandora’s Vault.

   There are things that will make even the Blade fall apart in due time, as it turns out.

carry all my sins by BananasofThorns

T\c\-\4k\Ranboo-centric

Summary:

Ranboo swallows. “All my armor and weapons and stuff are missing. Fundy and I were gonna go looking for them after the festival, I think.”

“I see.” Tubbo smiles again, but this time it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine, it’s just a festival. We could probably find someone to lend you a sword or an axe or something.”

He starts towards the stage, waving at people when they call his name, and Ranboo follows. The original panic has dulled to a cold buzz in his chest, but apprehension still wraps itself around his body like chains. He doesn’t like being without his armor and tools; he feels too exposed, and if something happens, he’ll be helpless.

“Ranboo?” Tubbo calls, glancing back.

Ranboo shakes his head and hurries to catch up. “Yeah, it’ll be fine,” he repeats. “Everything’s gonna be fine."

Tubbo grins. “That’s the spirit.”

Rule 5: be loyal. L'manberg doesn't do well with supposed traitors. Ranboo deals with the consequences.

Sojourn by Lacy_Star

T\o\-\13k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

“Well…” Ranboo started slowly, “You see, uh… I kinda… don’t have a house anymore, obviously. Um… Phil found me in—“ He paused, cutting himself off and squinting at the floorboards— very discreet, “Phil… found me. And… um… He said I could stay by you guys. Like, um, by the dog house he wants to build?” He paused, then began to ramble, “But, uh, if you don’t want me here, I understand— and I’m sorry for coming in your house when you weren’t here, I swear I didn’t touch anything— it was just cold outside and—“

Techno just stared at him. And how, how was this the second time this had happened to him? How was this the second time he returned home after battle to discover an injured teenage boy waiting for him, seeking assistance with nowhere to go? And how badly had that ended last time, in nothing but betrayal and insults?

---

AKA: Phil drags a half-enderman home after Doomsday, and Techno decides that they can keep it. For now.

can an axe count as rent? by aboutfivebees

T\c\-\4k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

Ranboo’s struggling to settle into his new life on the Arctic Anarchist Commune, but at least he’s got bread.

or the struggles of an enderman hybrid to come up with a housewarming gift to give to his friends, who are just trying to adopt him

The Caged Bird Sings of Freedom by StarPrince_Punk

T\o\-\25k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

The Blade's stance was still tense, his body prepared to fight at a moment’s notice if need be. “What’s your name?” Phil asked “My… name?” The Blade asked. “Yeah. Your name isn’t actually The Blade, right? That’s like a stage name?” Phil tried to keep his tone light. “What’s your real name?” The Blade hesitated. “No one… No one’s called me by my name in a long time.” ------- When Phil comes across Ranboo in his panic room after L'Manberg's destruction, it reminds him of when he first met Technoblade. And just like when he met Techno, Phil's first instinct is that he has to help this kid. While living together, Techno and Ranboo learn that they're much more similar than they had previously thought, and Phil learns that it's not too late for him to be a better dad.

This already feels like more of a home by H3118ENDER

T\o\violence, death\18k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

As the ashes of L'Manberg settle the conflict continues to come to life setting the stage for a new wave of blood shed. Stuck slam in the middle of past and present friends Ranboo is coming to learn that even without nations to their names feelings and feuds don't die but people, people do.

A Shadow of a Shadow by unappetizingegg

T\c\-\4k\ Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

There were a few beats of silence, and then- “What are your plans, now? Do you need a place to stay?”

That caught him off guard. Surely he’d heard incorrectly. Phil was offering him a home, right after he’d orchestrated the destruction of his past one? It didn’t make any sense, none of it did. Why would Phil say that?

Then he remembered, he remembered Techno stopping him in the fight. He remembered being handed his book, the question in Techno’s gaze. He swore, in that moment, Technoblade, the Technoblade, had been worried about him. He remembered that he had been told to leave, to run, to get away and preserve himself. He had spared him, he remembered that Techno had spared him.

Techno had helped him. Phil had tried to protect him, to get him away from the danger.

They were there for him.

 ---

alternatively:

Ranboo is alone. But he really isn't.

Meritocracy by oddsbodkins

G\o\-\18k\Dream & Technoblade, sbi, medieval AU

Summary:

Dream is more successful than he'd ever imagined - but there's one thing that's been bothering him. Technoblade, his biggest rival, the Acolyte of the Blood God and King of the Arena, went missing last spring, just before Dream got the chance to duel him. Without that one achievement to pave his way, all the following victories have felt cheap.

So, Dream hired some goons to dig Technoblade up and pester him into coming back to the Capitol, for one last showdown. Easy enough, right?

Interlude I: "Promises to Keep" by Ozzyyy

T\c\-\1k\part of a series\Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

These woods are lovely, dark, and deep But I have promises to keep

And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep.

--

Techno has a plan. It's crazy. It's insane, it's actually just batshit bonkers. But if chaos cannot be enjoyed together, then what's it worth, yeah? There's a certain beauty in watching the world burn from the center of the flames. Phil intends to be there.

I Don't Want To Start A Fight (wouldn't you rather start a riot?) by KryOnBlock

T\c\violence, death\15k\Technoblade & Philza & Ranboo

Summary:

An universal ping rang out from behind him, the third and final he knew, and Phil sobbed, clutching the body tighter.

Techno didn’t move.

It always has been Technoblade and Philza, Philza and Technoblade. Take on half, and you shall never go back.

Sheltered by Lulatic

G\c\-\6k\Ranboo & Technoblade

Summary:

It was cold outside. But Techno never heard Ranboo complain.

That was the best excuse he could muster to keep him out.

Antarctic Princes 'verse by BirchWrites

T\o\-\15k\series\sbi

Summary:

Loosely-connected one shots set in an AU where the Antarctic Empire and the Dream SMP are in the same world. Ordered chronologically, but each fic can be read as a standalone thing

Summary of first part:

Oh shit. Forget arrested; Dream’s going to have to tell Wilbur that he watched Tommy get stabbed for being terminally stupid.

May we cross paths again by QueenLunaFreed

G\c\-\1k\Dream & Technoblade

Summary:

“Even if tomorrow it’s just us versus the entire server, Dream, I’m telling you right now - I have confidence.”

---

Dream couldn’t comprehend the pacing contradiction in front of him, the weakness he could clearly see, but would never comment on. Because this man has been defying Dream's expectations since they first met, because despite them not being friends and having no reason to trust each other, Dream knew that Technoblade is the only person who he’d trust to do this right. To destroy L'Manberg alongside him yet again, this time for real.

leave me your starlight by findingkairos

T\o\-\18k\Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

For you the world, Phil.

Once upon a time, Philza Minecraft is the only person who does not shy away from the bloody teen that regularly turns the tide of war.

This cements a friendship that will last wars, empires, worlds, and lifetimes.

 ---

(Featuring: Back to Back Badasses, healthy relationships, accidental deification, intentional world domination, and Phil's past coming back to haunt his best friend.)

[dangermousie]

2020 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

You can find my 2020 cdrama post here: dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/638449659546845184/2020-end-of-year-post-cdrama-edition

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2020; if it originally aired another year, it’s not on this list.

It’s been a pretty lackluster kdrama year. There are probably only 5 kdramas I truly loved and only three of them I was really obsessed over. Better luck in 2021!

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 Born Again - so bad, so incoherent, so insane, I have no idea why the leads signed up for it (and unlike some of the other watchers, I think it was awful from the very start.) There is literally nothing about this drama that makes sense.

41 Love with Flaws - a bunch of people who should be tried under the Geneva Convention.

40 Sweet Munchies - Jung Il Woo proves his inability to pick a functional script.

39 Meow the Secret Boy - if you ever wanted to bang a cat, this drama is for you. Not being a furry, however...

38 Do Do Sol Sol La Sol - I lost braincells just typing out this title.

37 When I Was the Most Beautiful - the only way it’s not the dumbest, most pointless melo of 2020 is because Born Again considerately came out the same year.

36 Woman of 9.9 Billion - if you want to watch an artsy French movie about miserable people, but only badly made, boy do I have a drama for you.

35 Lies after Lies - screams after screams.

34 Backstreet Rookie - people were up in arms about various problematic plots. I am a survivor of many plots much more problematic but even I couldn’t survive how utterly boring and annoying this drama was and how utterly irritating the leads were. This has taken Ji Chang Wook off my top favorites into “should I even check his latest Lovestruck in the City? Probably not” territory almost single-handedly (Melt Me helped, to be fair.)

33 Men Are Men - boring is boring.

32 Dinner Mate - two beautiful boring people eat out a lot.

31 Was It Love - no it wasn’t.

30 Alice - Joo Won in the shower can make up for a multitude of sins but not plot nonsense of such magnitude. When you find yourself thinking it would be better if he hooked up with the alternate universe version of his mother because at least then something entertaining would happen, you know it’s bad.

29 More than Friends - started out OK, then made me hate basically everyone and kept going.

28 Start-Up - honestly, it’s probably more decent than its place here, but the toxic and batshit fandom for it (the worst this year) made me feel like breaking out in hives any time it’s even mentioned.

27 The Spies who Loved Me - how to take a good cast and waste it.

26 Private Lives - it was good but it never took off with its concept and spent more time on the incoherent plot than the OTP which was its one strength. It’s a decent drama but coming after Heartless City and My Beautiful Bride from the same writer, it’s a disappointment.

25 Record of Youth - as high as it is due to Park Bo Gum hard carrying this entire awful drama on his shoulders and doing it so well I finished it. Alas, while he is in one drama (and that drama is great), the rest of the characters and the entirety of the script are a pointless useless mess.

24 Do You Like Brahms - excellent first third, mediocre middle, and terrible last third. I don’t know what musical term applies to this? Diminuendo, I think.

23 I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice - nice and mellow but nothing much happens.

22 Forest - mainly for Park Hae Jin’s excellent and frequently naked bod.

21 The Ballot - I didn’t love it as much as everyone did but it was well-made.

20 Hyena - more romance and less weird law stuff would make it better.

19 365 Repeat the Year - surprisingly solid.

18 The Game Towards Zero - see 365.

17 When My Love Blooms - very old fashioned, very lovely.

16 Chocolate - also very old fashioned and very lovely but also with Yoon Kye Sang performing medical procedures bleeding and shirtless. MMM.

15 (tie) Secret Royal Inspector - a fun if run of the mill sageuk.

15 Find Me In Your Memory - best melo this year.

14 Mystic Pop Up Bar - surprisingly good even though I wasn’t planning to check it out.

13 Where Your Eyes Linger - came out of nowhere but was tender and hopeful and lovely.

12 Itaewon Class - Park Seo Joon hard carries a drama that is already excellent. Love it.

11 Psychopath Diary - Yoon Shi Yoon is such a treat in a hilarious, cynical, dark comedy.

10 Kairos - more like ouroboros.

9 Queen Love and War - in a year where sageuks are very rare, this was solid and surprisingly moving and shippy.

8 The King Eternal Monarch - people didn’t like it but I did. It’s no masterpiece and both the leads and the writers have better dramas, but it was a lovely romantic fairy tale for me.

7 Mr. Queen - sharp, hilarious, and some of my favorite actors.

6 Psycho But It’s OK - healing, sharp cinematography and even sharper chemistry.

5 Crash Landing on You - the last ep pissed me off so much this drama is dead to me but I loved it so much until then I can’t place it lower in good conscience.

4 Train - who knew I would go this hard for an OCN drama or that OCN would do romance so well? But this time-travel mystery romance is just incredible and I shipped the OTP and rooted for the characters and loved every last bit of it.

3 Run On - this is the drama Record of Youth wanted to be but failed. Smart and lived in, you feel like you are peeking at real people, but also even four episodes in, I am so invested in the main characters separately and together, and care for them so much, it’s a little frightening.

1 (tie) Tale of the Nine Tailed - my perfect fantasy romance. I liked it better than Goblin, yeah I said it.

1 Flower of Evil - all the tropes I love in one incredible package. I would rewatch episodes waiting for new ones trying to puzzle the story and to stay withdrawal but it works just as well on rewatch. Lee Jun Ki brings his trademark tortured intensity and for once, both his leading lady and his script back him up and are worthy of that. It’s perfect.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It’s a tie between Tale of the Nine Tailed and Flower of Evil but if I had to pick just one, FoE, because it had me seriously obsessed and guessing about the protagonist and gave me the narrative tropes I love so much and an OTP that statisfied all my hurt/comfort kinks and then some.

WORST DRAMA

Born Again - honestly, this is so bonkers it almost becomes good but alas...

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Hyun Soo/Baek Hee Sung, Flower of Evil - he is so messed up, so on edge, so traumatized. Yet capable of so much warmth and caring even as he himself doesn’t realize his humanity. FoE is basically a story of a man pushed and punished by the world for his entire life who, because of one woman, finds a safe place and peace and slowly comes to life without realizing it, and watching his desperation to keep this small bit of normalcy is so heartbreaking and exciting all at once. Plus, you start the drama thinking he’s a psychopathic serial killer and end it (if you are me) thinking he must be protected at all costs and if anyone even looks at him wrong they must suffer, and that’s quite a change!

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Nam Ji Ah, Tale of the Nine Tailed - she is so funny and tough and smart and loving and amazing that I will totally buy that a literal demi-god will do anything and everything for her and love her for literal eternity.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Dad in Record of Youth - yes in a year with serial killers and supernatural demons, I picked a normal character from a mediocre drama. It’s his everyday awfulness to his family that hits so hard and I am sad he never got his comeuppance.

FAVORITE SHIP

Ji Ah x Yeon - a fearless reporter and an immortal demi-god who’s been hoping for his human beloved to reincarnate. A really rare set-up where the OTP is equally ride or die, so compatible and completely BAMF. I got why he waited for her for that long and then fell in love with her all over again. Perfection.

Runner up: Flower of Evil - he is so messed up he literally does not believe he is capable of love or empathy, but he falls in love with her anyway and so utterly she permeates his entire life. She is tough as nails and only believes what she sees and is the sole person who believes in him against the world. She loves him but he needs her. She needs him but he loves her. They are amazing.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Seo Dan x Gu Seung Jun, Crash Landing on You, North Korean x Conman were so good I shipped them harder than the main OTP and the end of that storyline pissed me off so much I dumped the drama and didn’t finish it for months (and it’s still dead to me.)

NOTP

Record of Youth - it started out and they didn’t have much chemistry but the dialogues were interesting and I thought the chemistry would grow. It didn’t and deteriorated, their dialogues became boring and relationship had zero development (about as much as the supposed female lead.) I think we were supposed to feel bad they broke up and they were going for a bittersweet open ending, instead I found myself happy about the break up of two incompatible, chemistry-less people and hoping for the love of God they never get back together.

FAVORITE SCENE

Yeon and the bridge of knives, Tale of the Nine Tailed - Yeon choosing to undergo the creeptastic bridge of knives for a chance to save Ji Ah, who at that point he is not aware is the reincarnation of his Joseon love because, as he says, he doesn’t care if she is or isn’t, it just would be more horrible to have her die than to undergo the horrific torture he is undergoing, and then the sequence with his catching her, her weeping over him and the fact that she is the original Joseon girl revealed and all the bandaging and his watching her sleep and all that loveliness, is everything for yours truly.

Runner up: Hyun Soo having that break-down at the cliff at the end of ep 15 of Flower of Evil as Ji Won desperately tries to convince him she is alive and he finally stumbles to her.

Runner runner up (it’s my list, I will do what I want): Do Won preparing to blow his brains out to give a chance to Seo Kyung to live in Train.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seon-Gyeom, Run On. Yeah, I know. Im Siwan is tiny, delicate featured and has a runner’s build, none of which are things that normally appeal to me. But his character is so odd, so honest, so unflinching in pursuing what he thinks is right, so incapable of self-pity despite plenty of reasons for it, and so ridiculously attractive when he smiles, I don’t even care.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Kim Bum, TotNT - I started out being annoyed by him and ended up looking forward to his scenes and being distraught by his ending.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Honestly, none. I was fine with all the endings. I wouldn’t mind seeing post-end life of Tale of the Nine Tailed characters or the OTP settling into their literal new world in Train, but I am good.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Time jump that solves all the problems off screen or alternatively years pass and everyone is frozen - something that kdramas need to learn and need to learn badly. See Record of Youth, Brahms and Start Up.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men who are ride or die for their OTP - this was a great year for this - the male leads of four of my five dramas were beyond anything on that scale (only exception is Run On because it’s still too early to tell there.) Yes PLEASE.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

This was a banner year for that what with Start Up, Do You Like Brahms, Record of Youth, and Private Lives all starting out well and nosediving off the cliff but winner is Crash Landing on You. I loved it so much for bulk of its run but the last episode pissed me off so much I deleted all my files and called it a day.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Flower of Evil - I had no expectations of this drama and wasn’t even planning on watching it despite liking both the lead actors because yet another “look at evil serial killer be evil” drama with no romance was not my thing. Luckily someone convinced me there might be some romance and I peeked curiously. Honestly, their promo campaign was the most misleading and dumbest thing ever.

Runner up Psycho but it’s OK - I have never liked Kim Soo Hyun in anything before and the drama premise seemed WTF but it was shockingly good and KSH totally blew me away.

Hardest Working Lead

Yoon Shi Yoon - he starred in two (!!!) dramas in 2020 playing three characters and not only were both these dramas awesome in a lackluster year, but if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew it was the same actor and the fact that the characters shared a face, I would have never believed that they were played by the same actor. So good!

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

My Beautiful Bride and Deserving of the Name - I was obsessed with both of them and honestly, they were much better than the bulk of 2020 kdramas I watched.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

The Moon That Rises in the Day, Hong Chun Gi, Joseon Exorcist, Island,  Frightening Cohabitation, Snowdrop.

[lifeofroos]

Part 48. I like Ariadne. 

In short: Nico gets therapy from Dionysus. In this chapter, Nico takes a minute to talk to Dionysus’ wife, Ariadne. The rest of the story can be found on AO3, FanFiction.net and in Tumblr tags like Dionysus, Nico di Angelo, Fanfic etc. 

This Might Be Crazy: Chapter 48: Rosemary Tea

I lit a small incense stick. The smell of pinewood filled my cabin. Just when I wanted to begin praying to get Ariadne’s attention, I already got it. One moment, I was in my cabin, the next I was on Olympus, looking out over a massive vineyard. 

‘Nico di Angelo.’

I turned around. ‘The lady of the house, I assume.’ 

‘Yes. You called on me?’

Barely. ‘Yes. I, well…’ I shrugged. I wasn’t entirely sure. I didn’t think I’d get this far. 

Ariadne put her chin up. ‘I can’t say I wasn’t expecting you one of these days. Why don’t we talk?’

I mean, that is what I had in mind. I nodded and she gestured that I could come into the palace. 

Dionysus’ palace was big. It took a good twenty minutes to walk to a sitting room on the other side. In the meantime, Ariadne chatted about the decor for a bit. It was clear she had been responsible for most of it (it was way too stylish to be done by Dionysus). 

We sat down in two comfy chairs, with a coffee table in between. Ariadne snapped her fingers. A pot of tea appeared. ‘Sorry for the long walk. The west flank of the palace is not under control by the headmaster, so I had to bring you there.’ 

Zeus. ‘Eh, I get it.’ So. Now that we sit and we’ve got tea, I was kind of curious about how you managed to live with Dionysus for thousands of years.

‘Lets get the obvious question of your mind: You are wondering how I managed to live with Dionysus for thousands of years.’ 

I nodded, a little perplexed, but mostly glad I did not have to open the conversation. 

She poured out two cups of tea and picked up her own. ‘I don’t read minds or anything, it’s just what they always ask. The short version is that he helped me when I was going through a hard time, the same way he is helping you now. The difference is that he somehow fell in love with me.’ She took a sip of her tea. ‘And, after some more time, which he gave me, I felt the same way. Got married, stayed together, end of story.’ She picked up her cup. ‘Yet, you probably already guessed that there was more.’ 

‘Well, Yes. I would say that the support he gives you goes further than with me. He once, kind of accidently, told me about the bond.’

She nodded. ‘Accidently? Oh well. Yet, yes, we have a bond. I’d say it connects us quite well.’

‘Quite, quite well, I’d say. For thousands of years.’ I picked up my own cup. ‘Hephaestus told me Dionysus treated him like a regular human… or god, whatever. Like he was more than a tool or a piece of garbage. That is basically how my therapy works. ’

Ariadne nodded. ‘We share that sentiment, you, me and Hephaestus, among others. We feel like we are worth something. Like someone does care about us. That is how it made me feel.’ She looked at the ceiling for a second. ‘Cared for, and like I was finally free to do and go where I wanted, gods! That means something after constantly being bound to something, either my chambers in the palace, or the island, or the men I was with. I still don’t know how I did confinment for twenty years.’ Her expression soured. ‘I do know why I went with Theseus. It meant... a change of scenary, at least.’ 

I sighed and slouched in the chair a little. ‘Ah, yes, sons of Poseidon.’ 

She raised an eyebrow. ‘Sons?’

I looked up. She didn’t know? ‘I thought Dionysus would have told you. Anyway, I was in love with one of those too, once. He just wasn’t a piece of garbage about it. Did not abandon me somewhere, at least, or bully me for it. He might have been a little confused, but, you know. I get that. He seems confused about most things, actually.’

She shifted. ‘It must have been Percy Jackson.’

I took a sip. ‘Yes. And, eh, sorry.’ Didn’t want to rub it in your face. I wanted to ask what she thought of Percy, but maybe that wasn’t…

‘I do not have anything against Perseus Jackson, if you were wondering about that.’ She raised her eyebrows. ‘I think Dio has more problems with that than I do.’

‘I think you might just be right.’

She sighed. ‘Oh well. Yet, I did hear you were accepted like you are in camp, son of Poseidon as your first crush or not.’

‘I was! Camp overall is pretty accepting, actually, that is nice. They even learned to trust Hades kids. And idiots who fall in love with sons of Poseidon. It took a while, but they accept Annabeth now.’

She chuckled and pushed her hair out of the way. ‘So many more things are getting accepted these days, even amongst the gods. There is a shift in their behaviour. I don’t know what the trigger was, after thousands of years, but I am glad it is this way.’ She twisted a curl around a finger. ‘Sorry, entirely different subject, but how did your talk with the elder gods go?’

‘It was weird, but it went good enough. Over the last few days, I have heard less and less of the voices from Tartarus, and more and more from the voices of where the Elder Gods are.’

She smiled and nodded. ‘Luckily. You know, admitting the elder gods is a central part of becoming immortal. Because of previous lives, something, something, even the lord of the heavens is not really sure, I had to talk to them.’ She sighed. ‘Basically, part of me is also an older god, which meant that I was supposed to fill this role as a goddess right now.’ She rolled her eyes. I snickered. ‘I hardly understand what it means.’

I adjusted my jacket. ‘Still, that must be strange, though, to know that part of you is just…’ I waved my hands around. ‘Somewhere in superheaven.’

‘You get used to it.’

‘Still, it seems weird.’ 

‘To me, it seems weird that you visit the Underworld so often.’ She shuddered. ‘For me, it wasn’t a very good place. After I was killed, I was sent to Elysium. My father, king Minos, kept trying to control me and I missed Dio terribly. I would have chosen rebirth if Dionysus hadn’t taken me out of there.’ 

‘Oh yes, bringing people back to live, the thing he tells me is unhealthy to do.’

She gave me a mellow smile. ‘The difference is that he is immortal and you are not.’ 

Maybe. ‘Not yet. And I met king Minos, too. He was a nasty piece of work, sorry not sorry to say it. He tried to control me into his evil villian plans.’

‘I am not offended. He was a bad king, a bad husband to my mother and a bad father to his children.’

‘And a bad partner to raise the dead with.’

‘I am going to pretend I did not hear that.’

‘Thanks. Although my therapist is already aware of it.’ I took a sip. ‘Then we can both agree that he was a huge dirtwad.’

‘We quite certainly can. I still do not forgive him for marrying off my youngest sister to some old king who died not even a year later. She was then forced out of the palace to make room for the new king and queen, just so Minos could get the bridewealth payments.’

‘Oh yes, that is a very dirtwad thing to do.’ We both sighed.

Her expression grew dark. ‘I used to think my mother was better. She tried to protect her children, even Asterion. Yet, that was before she tried to take my labyrinth and use it against who I am. What she did a few years ago, raising it without my permission…’ she clutched her fist. ‘She had no business doing that and getting me wound up in it again. Before that, the labyrinth was a memory, safely far away from the human world. Now...’ She looked at her teacup. 

I nodded. ‘Eh… my sister was the one who handled Pasiphae in that encounter. I think she is gone, now…’

‘She isn’t, Nico, and she never will. She harnesses too much power to just be gone.’ 

I fell silent for a second. ‘I think I believe that,’ I whispered. 

‘I hope you do, but I also hope you don’t have to deal with her in your lifetime anymore.’

I was fifteen. On average, there was a lot of lifetime left to meet Pasiphae a second time. But I did not want to think of that right now.

‘If there is anything you take away from this, let it be that women in mythology, and not uncommonly men too, often fled, because the situation at home was chocking them.’ She had a flicker in her eyes, which suddenly left. She shook her head. ‘You probably don’t want to think of that right now. Say, have you ever tried this tea before?’

Now she was just trying to change the subject. I played along. ‘I recognise it. Rosemary?’

‘Yes! We grow it in the garden, actually, or better said, my garden. His garden is more or less... taken.’ She smiled again and looked out the window, at the vineyard that spread all around the castle. 

‘Guess that makes sense.’

‘I wouldn’t mind more flowers. But hey, I knew what I was getting myslef in to, back when I moved here.’ We kept looking out the window. I noticed a few panthers lazily roaming about. Ariadne didn’t even blink at seeing them. Just a regular day in Dionysus’ palace, apparently. 

‘I don’t know if I will tell Dionysus about this encounter.’

‘I think he already had a hunch it was going to happen, because I did. Bond and stuff.’ I nodded. ‘If you already told him you were in love with Percy… well, that is an easy link to me, I’d say.’

Maybe. Ariadne studied me, before she stood up. ‘If your finished, maybe you should get back. They might begin to miss you. 

I looked up at the clock and jumped up when I saw it was already past eight. Ariadne telling me the clocks were mad and did what they wanted did not calm me down. 

While we walked back to the mystic Zeus-free west flank, she said: ‘I am glad I could finally meet you. You seem like a nice, smart young man.’

‘Thanks. Eh, also, thanks for the talk and thanks for the tea. It was good tea.’

‘I’ll give you some. I am kind of proud of it, actually. It is one of the only teas that isn’t brewed by Demeter.’ 

A/N: My first draft of this felt clunky, it is better now. Still, I find it strange that it turned out the way it did. That Ariadne of all people is the goddess who keeps her distance for a bit, aside from the things she has in common with Nico.

As I said before: I need more Ariadne fanfiction I am being denied my RIGHTS the first hit when I google it is my own fanfic of two years ago and one chapter in Weezl’s drabble doc. 

Legit, Ariadne is the ‘mistress of the labyrinth.’ Don’t know how RR missed that. Be prepared because this fact WILL come back in a later chapter. 

[feferipeixes]

The Good Lines (1/3)

Trapped in an unfamiliar world, Alcor finds that he doesn’t mind the loneliness. He doesn’t care about finding a way out. He doesn’t even care about Mizar. All he cares about is solving puzzles, and drawing the good lines.

(or: I Think Dipper Should Play The Witness)

Chapter 1: Tutorial (link to chapter 2) (3)

I promised this a year ago and it’s finally happening! No knowledge about The Witness necessary -- this is basically a TAU fic. Thanks @toothpastecanyon for beta reading it!

(See the most updated version on AO3!)

===

One of the first signs that something was wrong was the silence.

Alcor didn't know when it had happened, but at some point he realized he couldn't remember the last time he'd heard a living thing. Sure, he could hear the grass crunch beneath his shoes, and the babble of the river cascading down the mountainside. When the silence got to be too much, he’d listen to those things as closely as he could.

He never heard a cicada screech, though, never heard a squirrel chitter, never heard a wolf howl. One time, he wandered through the forest and was assaulted by the chirping of birds, but when he looked closer he noticed that there were speakers hidden in the trees. That confused him even more, because who decided a forest needed assistance in creating an ambiance? Would the speakers switch from birds to crickets when it got dark out?

The next thing he noticed was that it never got dark out either.

Another strange thing: his magic wasn't working. He walked upon the ground instead of floating above it. He saw the physical shape of things instead of the shape of the ideas they embodied. And his hand didn't alight in flame when he snapped his fingers. He was still a demon -- he could see it in the pitch black reflection of his eyes when he looked in the ocean -- but it seemed less relevant right now. Which was without a doubt extremely odd.

However curious these things were though, he didn't have much of a chance to dwell on them. He was too busy drawing the good lines.

The panels were everywhere on the island. They were all sorts of materials -- some made of metal with a plastic border, some made of glass so he could see the scenery as he drew, and some were just embedded into the concrete he walked on. Many of them were connected with thick wires. They all had a grid of some sort on them, sometimes containing fanciful shapes and dots. All had one or more bulbous circles somewhere on the grid, as well as one or more rounded off ends. Some of them were pretty to look at, but he knew they weren't just for show. They were puzzles.

He couldn't remember when he'd discovered it. Maybe someone had told him (who? He was all alone). Maybe there were instructions on one of the panels (but he'd never seen any text on the island). Or maybe it was just instinct that led him to reach out and touch a panel, right on one of the large circles. It made a little popping noise, letting him know this was okay to do, and to keep going. So he dragged his claw across the grid, and as he did so, he drew a line. It was simple, it was effortless, it was satisfying. He drew the line around intersections in the grid to one of the rounded off bits and lifted his finger. The panel flashed angrily and highlighted some of the symbols on the grid.

Oh no. That was a Bad Line.

Frowning, he tried again; touching the circle, dragging his claw through the grid in a different pattern this time, and letting go at an end. The panel made a squeaky little beep, and the wire leading out of it lit up.

Alcor smiled. That was a Good Line.

---

There was a mountain at one end of the island. Well, it looked like a mountain, and the climate at the top was dramatically different from that at the bottom, but there was no way it was tall enough to really be considered a mountain. It only took a few minutes for Alcor to follow the path to the top, and he wasn’t even using any kind of demonic superspeed.

The summit was covered in weird stuff, but at this point Alcor would’ve been surprised if such a significant-looking location on this weird island wasn’t covered in weird stuff. Still, he wouldn’t have guessed that it would be covered in random statues of humans. There was an old man speaking at a podium, a figure in a trenchcoat using a camera on a tripod, a librarian gesturing angrily, and so on.

There were two statues at the center under three parabolic arches. One was a young man with a strange ladle-shaped mark etched onto his forehead, struggling to carry a large yellow box covered in images of eyes and which had a thick cable coming out of it. The other was a young woman in a sweater, holding the box’s cable taut and seemingly trying to pull the first statue back. All of the statues seemed vaguely familiar -- especially the two in the middle -- but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He eventually decided it was just because humans all look the same.

There was another thing he found while observing the statues: a tape recorder, sitting on a rock near the statue with the tripod. It looked positively archaic in design, and only had one button on it. When he pressed the button, the voice that came out was so clear that it was almost as if the words were being transmitted directly into his brain.

“Up there you go around every hour and a half, time after time after time.”

He frowned at the odd device and cocked his head. It was nice to hear a voice for the first time in what seemed like forever, but he had no idea what it was talking about. He pressed the button again to no effect. The voice just kept talking.

“And you realize that in one glance that what you’re seeing is what was the whole history of man for years.”

Whatever. He decided to ignore it and take in the lovely view instead. He could see almost the whole island from up there, from the desert to the quarry to the forest to the swamp. There was something stunning about the diversity of landscape he could see from one spot. And yet, it wasn’t quite the beauty of the sights before him that made him marvel. It was the thought of all of the unsolved puzzles he was yet to find.

“You finally come up across the coast of California and look for those friendly things.”

There only seemed to be one panel at the mountain’s summit, and it was hardly a puzzle -- just a single zigzagging line. Quick as a whistle, he tapped the starting node, dragged his finger up, and released. It made all of the same sounds the other panels did, but it was kind of disappointing. There was no challenge in it, nothing to occupy his mind or give him a sense of accomplishment. It wasn’t a Good Line or a Bad Line, it was just… a line.

Huh.

“And you do it again and again and again. You look forward to that, you anticipate it. And there it is. That whole process begins to shift of what it is you identify with.”

He set off down the mountain again, and headed toward the greenhouse he’d noticed on his way up. Just as he expected, it was full of puzzles. Surrounded by colorful flowers, he stared at a panel and thought, and thought, and thought.

Hours passed. He solved two more.

“You look down there and you can’t imagine how many borders and boundaries you crossed again and again and again. And you don’t even see ‘em. All of history and music and poetry and art and war and death and birth and love, tears, joy, games, all of it is on that little spot out there that you can cover with your thumb.”

Alcor bounced between areas on the island when he got stuck, always breezing past the scenery without a second glance because there were more important things to attend to. Across the island and toward the desert. Across the island to climb through a treehouse. Across the island to get lost in a boat. He waited for it to blur together but it never did.

“And you realize with that perspective that you’ve changed. That there’s something new there. That relationship is no longer what it was.”

It was peculiar, if he did let himself think about it. He didn’t want to -- didn’t want to give the voice that kind of victory -- but in between panels he sometimes needed a little break and there were only a limited number of things to put his attention to in this place. So, occasionally, he let himself wonder why he was alone.

This was not an unfamiliar question for him. He could come up with a million reasons for it right off the top of his head. He was immortal, so maybe everyone else in the universe was just dead. He was a monster, so maybe everyone else in the universe was just scared of him. He was a dream demon, so maybe he was just buried so deep in the Mindscape that he couldn’t find his way out.

Somehow, none of those reasons felt like the truth. If they were, he’d probably be sadder.

“And you think about what you’re experiencing and why. Do you deserve this? This fantastic experience? Have you earned this in some way? Are you separated out to be touched by God to have some special experience here that other men cannot have? You know the answer to that is No. There’s nothing that you’ve done that deserves that, that earned that.”

Besides, there wasn’t anything to be sad about, if he really really thought about it over and over again until words lost all meaning. He was Alcor the Dreambender, after all! He was the most powerful entity in the universe. Feared like a demon by the masses, revered like a deity by the foolish. All because he’d had the great fortune to rid the world of a villainous creature of destructive chaos.

He did deserve it. He was special. He spent a day lying face up on a rooftop in the town, thinking these things to himself on loop.

“When you come back, there’s a difference in that world now, there’s a difference in that relationship between you and that planet, and you and all those other forms of life on that planet, because you���ve had that kind of experience.”

Past the town there was a little peninsula with some sort of old building on it. Alcor made his way over, but when he got there he was dismayed to find not a single puzzle in sight. There was, however, a statue of a man kneeling on the floor. Alcor jumped when he saw it out of the corner of his eye, reaching for him with a crazed look on its face, but relaxed when he realized it wasn’t alive.

It was an odd sight, to be sure. Alcor followed its gaze to a glass shelf behind him, on which sat a chalice of some sort. He reached up to grab it -- almost knocking the shelf over as he did -- and cautiously stuck his tongue in.

Whatever was in the cup, he thought as he walked away from the building, it was delicious.

“And all through this I’ve used the word ‘you’ because it’s not me, it’s you. It’s us. It’s we. It’s life. And it’s not just my problem to integrate, it’s not my challenge to integrate, my joy to integrate -- it’s yours, it’s everybody’s.”

There was a long pause, and Alcor thought the recording might finally be over. He took a sip of his drink and smiled. Back to thinking about the current puzzle. It was a tough one -- three different colors of symbols on it -- and he was glad that the voice wasn’t distracting him from it anymore.

And then:

”Please come back, Dipper.”

Alcor did a spit take at the sound of his true name. The panel he was working on made a sizzling noise and deactivated.

“Did that work? Can you hear me?”

He shot to his feet and looked around in all directions. No one. He was still as alone as ever.

“You’re not responding so I don’t know if what you’re doing is just a coincidence.”

“What? Hello?” he yelled.

“Oh, thank the stars, it worked! Dipper you have to get out of here.”

“What are you talking about?” he sputtered. “Who are you?”

There was the sound of a deep breath, inexplicably broadcast from the sky. “I’m your sister, S- I mean, uh. Mizar. I’m Mizar.”

Alcor’s eyes widened. “Mizar?”

“Yeah. I’ve been trying to contact you for so long. I can’t believe it finally worked.”

“I don’t understand. What finally worked?”

“You need to listen to me. This isn’t the real world. You’re in a virtual reality game.”

“I’m what?” Alcor said. He backed up, accidentally leading himself to the edge of the platform he was standing on, but instead of falling off, his back hit a wall. He spun around to see what had happened, but there was nothing there. “Mizar? I’m- I’m so confused.”

Mizar sighed. “I told you. None of this is real. It’s a computer program. Haven’t you noticed that things aren’t quite right?”

“Well, yeah,” Alcor replied. He flapped his wings, but stayed firmly glued to the ground. “My demon powers don’t work. Honestly though that’s fine with me. I’m just having fun drawing the good lines.”

“The what?” Mizar demanded, incredulous.

“The good lines!” Alcor squeaked, and waved at the puzzles behind him. “I don’t know what they’re for or what they do, but I’ve been so busy solving all these puzzles that I’ve barely thought about… why… things are… off…”

He trailed off, and Mizar sniffed.

“That’s the point. They’re there to keep you occupied.”

Alcor frowned. “Why though? Who’d go to so much effort to make all of this for me?”

There was no response.

---

Alcor continued to solve puzzles. He didn’t know why Mizar’s voice had stopped, but he was glad it had -- she was the true distraction, not the puzzles. And yet every once in a while, he’d be staring at a particularly difficult panel with one of those Y-shaped symbols on it that made no sense to him, and his mind would begin to wander.

And when it did, he’d notice another one of those tape recorders nearby. There were a lot of them on the island, and they all had boring quotes from philosophers or whatever on them. But then Mizar’s voice would cut in, with a note of glee like she’d thought he’d never speak to her again. Every time she sounded more and more desperate for him to leave. And every time it made him feel more and more frustrated.

“Okay, so,” Alcor said as Mizar's voice faded in for the 20th or so time, “you said last time you might’ve figured out who made this island.” He didn't look up or take his finger off the panel in front of him.

There was a rustling noise, and then a loud pop. “Sorry, had to plug in my headphones. That’s right, though. I’ve done some more research since then and I’m sure of it now.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And?”

“It was an advanced artificial intelligence,” Mizar replied. “I think you might be familiar with it. It’s called ‘the Alcor Virus’.”

“Oh.” Alcor paused for a moment. “Yeah, I wrote him to mess with fanfic writers. Why do you think he made the island?”

“I don’t think,” Mizar said. “It definitely did. There’s traces of it all over the computer network in this building.”

“There’s traces of him all over every device with a processor in the whole world,” Alcor countered. “He’s a really good virus. I’m very proud of him.”

Mizar groaned. “I also found its executable embedded in the binary for this game. Also a few summoning circles, and a big ASCII art picture of it giving me the middle finger.”

“Okay, maybe you’re right,” he conceded. “Why, though?”

“How should I know?” Mizar said, with more than a note of irritation in her voice. “I’m not a psychologist and I’m definitely not a computer scientist. Also why does it matter ‘why’ it’s doing this? Isn’t it time to get out of there already? I’ve already asked you like a million times!”

“No!” Alcor exclaimed, throwing his hands up. He walked out of the structure he’d been standing in and headed toward an area with some shady trees in which he’d noticed puzzles he hadn’t solved yet. “I like it here. It’s fun for me. And I deserve a vacation from all the people who bother me all the time. Why would I leave?”

“Because you can’t just run away from your problems!” Mizar shot back. “You think this is healthy? Literally living in a virtual reality world so you don’t have to talk to anyone anymore? How do you think I feel?”

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Horrible! I thought you cared about me, Dipper, but all you care about are those stupid puzzles! Stars, sometimes you act like such a demon!”

Alcor frowned. “You know that I -”

“Yes, I get it, you ARE a demon and you can’t help it that you’re a selfish piece of shit. I GET it. Is this how it’s really going to end? You’re just going to turn me down after I’ve spent all this time trying to get you out?”

Alcor’s ears turned red as he felt Mizar’s furious, extraplanar glare land on him. “It really means that much to you that I leave?”

He heard Mizar smack herself in the face. “Yes, yes, a hundred times yes! It kills me that you’re not in my life anymore! You probably thought I could get along just fine without you and no one would be affected by you staying forever on your fantasy puzzle island vacation, huh? Why do you think I keep asking you? I’m starting to get sick of it!”

Alcor felt every muscle in his body tense up at that. He squeezed his eyes shut as Mizar continued to shout, tried to fend off the words violently striking at his ego, and only opened them again when she cut off mid-word. The light on the tape recorder had turned off.

He tried to let himself relax again but he couldn’t. It felt like his chest had become a black hole and it was taking all he had not to shrink up into a tiny little dot and vanish. He hated being yelled at. Hated it.

Maybe Mizar was right, though. Maybe he was just being a selfish jerk. He'd done it before. Countless times, to countless Mizars, his self-serving actions had caused harm to mortals and it was always his fault because he couldn't put himself in their shoes. Maybe he was a monster after all. It was just like a monster to have wants and needs that inevitably end up hurting people.

Alcor exhaled, long and heavy, and pressed the button on the tape again. When the pre-recorded message ended and Mizar’s shouts returned, he interrupted her.

“Okay. I’ll go.”

[walkwithheroes84]

Reading Romance

Updated June 28th, 2021

I read a lot of different types of books, but I’ve never been a romance person. After watching Bridgeton, I decided to give them a try. Here are my thoughts. 

Follow me on this journey. 

What I’ve Liked:

- They are really quick to get through. I’ve read some 350 page books in a day. 

- The plots can be crazy, which is also really fun. 

- A lot of the characters are fun and the dialogue can be witty. 

What I’ve Not Liked:

- I have an issue with a lot of the romances, as the men seem to sometimes force the women into uncomfortable situations. 

Now, let’s talk about what I’ve read:

Bridgerton: The Duke and I by Julia Quinn:  

- 2 out of 5 stars.

- I found this couple boring. 

- She raped her husband, so no. He shouldn’t have lied, but that’s not an excuse to rape.

Bridgerton: It’s in His Kiss by Julia Quinn:

- 4 out of 5 stars.

- I loved the couple. There was some problems with the male lead deciding to sleep with the female lead, so she’d have to marry him, as he is not his father’s true son. But I still liked their witty dialogue and the female lead was fun.

Bridgerton: When He Was Wicked by Julia Quinn: 

-2 out of 5 stars

- It’s one of everyone’s favorite books in the series, but I found this couple to be so boring. I feel like she would have been just as happy with her first husband and for the life of me, I don’t get why the guy was so into her. She was boring.

Bridgerton: An Offer From A Gentleman by Julia Quinn:

- 4 out of 5 stars. 

- This book had insane energy. It was silly and fun. The man lead jumps out of a window, scales down a tree, and rushes to a cold lake because the female lead got him aroused and he was like: “Um, not now.” 

- I didn’t like that  Benedict was so dumb not to see that Sophie was the girl he had met three years earlier and I HATED that he kept telling her to be his mistress, even after she told him that wasn’t what she wanted for herself. 

- Though the end in the jail was pure insanity and I was here for it.

First Comes Scandal by Julia Quinn:

- 2 out of 5 stars.

- While dialogue was witty and the couple was cute, I felt this one dragged on for way too long. I thought it could have been at least 100 pages shorter. 

Love is Blind by Lynsay Sands:

-2 out of 5 stars.

- The plot and characters were just too simple. 

The Lost Duke of Wyndham (Two Dukes of Wyndham #1) by Julia Quinn:

-4 out of 5 stars.

- I clearly have a type with couples in Julia Quinn books: they need to be fun, bicker, and have a lot of chemistry. I LOVED Jack and Grace. I loved the charm, wit, and fun of this couple.

A Hunger Like No Other (Immortals After Dark #2) by Kresley Cole

- 2 out of 5 stars

-So...while I like the idea of the world and the overall story that seems to be forming - I COULD NOT get behind the male lead basically raping the female lead throughout the book. Mostly because he hated that she is a vampire (she's actually half) and once he learns she's not a full vampire, he's just like - "My bad. Love you." And she's cool with it?! - Also, what is going on with all the erection? Because the way I read it, this man was walking around with one for 90% of the novel. I don't know, that just strikes me as very uncomfortable and slightly embarrassing..? I don't know, I'm not a man.

No Rest For The Wicked (Immortals After Dark #3) by Kresley Cole

- 3 out of 5 stars

-Kaderin is cursed or blessed with being an emotionless killing machine. Until she meets Sebastian, a vampire who hates what he is. Confused, she runs and he follows. Kaderin spends most of the novel being a bad ass bitch and Sebastian spends most of the novel discovering that he likes the way she is. 

-He decides to help her and that he wants her to achieve her dream, even if it means not getting her.

-It was a fun and fast read and I ALMOST forgive Cole for the grossness of her last novel. 

Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night (Immortals After Dark #4) by Kresley Cole

-3 out of 5 stars

- I liked this one more that A Hunger Like No Other. Maybe because Mari was a little bit tougher and stronger than Emma. Or maybe because  Bowen seemed to have a better understand of boundaries. 

- They were a sweet and fun couple, who didn’t really shy away from their challenges. They actually discussed issues! 

- But, I have to take away a half point, because again with the whole werewolf NEEDING to claim his mate thing. With all the erections and sex every which way. It was about much for me, especially as a new romance reader. At times, I found myself thinking: “Please calm down.”

-Another thing I enjoyed was the discussions about “monsters” being people and wanting things “normal” people want. 

-But, I have to add this, and it’s really more about the series as a whole: each book is about 350-360 pages and there is a looming evil throughout, but it’s not truly faced until the last 50 pages are so. I’d like this world - which is being set up to be very interesting - to be fleshed out more.

Dark Needs at Night’s Edge (Immortals After Dark #5) by Kresley Cole

- 3.5 stars out of 5

-  I've now read 4 of them and have had ALOT of mixed feelings about this series. - We start with the hero, Conard: a vampire who hunts his own kind. When he drains people, he takes their memories - which has made him a bit. . .unstable. Interesting (as several have said) every male character within the story (some of whom have REALLY mistreated their wives at different times) discuss how Conard is dangerous and should be "put of his misery" and yet - he treats Néomi very well. He doesn't mistreat her and honestly tries to help her - even if it means they may not be together. - A vampire bounty hunter and a ballerina ghost somehow make a very sweet, angsty, and awesome little romance. It felt free of that "fated mate" stuff from the other novels. Yes, Conard believes that Néomi is his fated mate, but she's also dead. So, there is none of that "have to half you/will stalk you/alpha man" stuff that gets a bit old in the other novels of the series. I really enjoyed the fact that the couple didn't actually sleep together until page 200ish (out of 369). Which was actually nice, because it made me believe that they were a couple who had depth and actually loved each other because of more than being "fated mates". (Not knocking the other couples in the series, but I do sometimes feel that they actually fall for each other only toward the end of their novel.) -So over all, I liked this one. My favorite so far.

Dark Desires After Dusk (Immortals After Dark #5) by Kresley Cole

-3 out of 5 stars. 

- I liked the main couple just fine - both as a couple and as individuals. 

- But, I’m reading these books one after the other - usually one or even two a day - and the formula used for each book is becoming very clear: Male lead finds his fated soul mate and either denies it or goes after her. Female lead is uninterested, but can’t help be drawn to this new guy. The fight or have misunderstandings. They have sex - it’s usual oral. They have more miscommunication. The “big bad” - whose been mention throughout the novel- appears in the last 50-or-so pages. The couple defeat the “big bad”. They get married. It’s getting a bit old - even if I like the characters.

The Viscount Who Loved Me (Bridgertons #2) by Julia Quinn

-4 out of 5 stars.

- Loved the couple and their humor. A fun and quick read. I think I read it in 3 hours?

Kiss of a Demon King (Immortals After Dark #6) by Kresley Cole

-2 out of 5 stars.

-While I liked the leads as individuals, I found their relationship to be a bit too toxic for my tastes. 

Never Seduce a Scot by Maya Banks

-3 out of 5 stars

-A light and fluffy read. Our ML was respectful and our FL was sweet. Just a cute morning read. Nothing overly special, but honestly far sweeter than a lot of the romances I’ve read in the last month and a half. I may forget it in a month, but I enjoyed it while I read it. 

Untouchable (Immortals After Dark #7) by Kresley Cole

-4 out of 5 stars

-A very interesting read. Who knew you could be creative with ice? I have to admit, I really enjoy the Wroth brothers and their ladies. These men have respect and, unlike some other MLs in this series, they seem to be more willing to let their Brides take the lead. 

Demon from the Dark (Immortals After Dark #9) by Kresley Cole

-4 out of 5 stars

-This book just worked for me. Carrow was an amazing heroine and  Malcom was a sweetheart. Add in little Ruby and you have one amazing family.

Dreams of a Dark Warrior (Immortals After Dark #10) by Kresley Cole

-4 out of 5 stars

- Regin the Radiant is doomed to relieve her tragic love affair with the berserker Aidan the Fierce. They will meet, fall in love, she will kiss him, and he will die within 24 hours. So far, they have relived this tragic fate 4 times, and this time Regin is determined to NOT let that happen. The problem? Nix gets involved and Regin is captured by The Order - a group of humans bent on killing all Lore creatures. And one of their leaders just so happens to be Declan Chase aka Aidan.

- I loved a lot about this book, such as the way all the stories are really starting to come together and blend into one another. I also loved Regin here - she doesn't break or bend and she understands that Declan isn't a woobie in need of saving (like so many of the other women in this series) - she  knows that he has been through something terrible, but she doesn't excuse his actions.  It isn't until Declan shows he's trying to change that Regin accepts him.

- A really fun read and maybe my second or third favorite in the series.

Lothaire (Immortals After Dark #11) by Kresley Cole

-4 out of 5 stars

- I have very mixed feelings on this book.

- I loved Ellie - she was intelligent, forward thinking, and strong. She planned her death, twice. She understood Lothaire would come for her and made sure her family was hidden. She decided to seduce a ages old vampire in order to save herself. She often played him like a fiddle. 

-But, Lothaire was a complete jerk for 85% of the novel. I get it, he's damaged and he's old and mentally unstable, blah blah blah. To be honest, he didn't make up for his misdeeds - even if he did promise to take Ellie's kid brother Trick-or-Treating. (That was weird, too. Don't make a villain/anti-hero a sudden sugary sweet brother-in-law.) 

-And, how could he not see that Ellie was his Bride?! He was physically and mentally attracted to her. With the other one, they didn't seem to have anything in common, expect: we like killing.

-So while I adored the female lead and I liked certain scenes, the book felt off to me.

MacRieve (Immortals After Dark #13) by Kresley Cole

-3.5 out of 4 stars

-While I liked some aspects of the book, MacRieve was so horrible to Chloe. I understand he has past trauma and is in major need of therapy. (Like most of the men in this series.) But, he treats Chloe horribly and while Chloe has a bit of spunkiness, she is also just way too forgiving and nice.

-I also have to take away from  half a point because it ends on a cliffhanger that may never be resolved!

A Rogue By Any Other Name (The Rules of Scoundrels #1) by Sarah MacLean 

- 4 out of 5 stars.

-This is apparently a  Hades and Persephone retelling? I can see that. 

- I really enjoyed  Penelope, who really just wanted a nice life, but that wasn’t to be. She just had a little too much “darkness” in her and she wouldn’t be happy with anyone but Bourne. Bourne could be a jerk, but his feelings for Penelope was great. 

- The side characters who will be getting their own novels? Very excited to see them. I think this was my first Sarah MacLean and it was one I really enjoyed. 

Ghost (Boston Underworld #3) by A. Zavarelli

- 3 out of 5 stars.

- I read these out of order, so there were people in this that I want to learn more about. 

- This was my first mafia romance and, I believe, was my darkest book yet. 

-Talia and Alexei were two very damaged people, who were still damaged together. They didn’t magically become well because of their feelings for one another. They may have healed a bit, but they were still working toward betterment at the end of the novel, and I like the realism of that. 

- I read this novel in two days, and despite the darkness of the novel, I really enjoyed it. The writing style was enjoyable and I like the way characters from several different novels came into and out of the story. It’s very clear that A. Zavarelli is working on her own little universe, and I always like when authors do that. 

Filthy Rich (Five Points' Mob Collection #2) by Serena Akeroyd

- 4 out of 5 stars. 

- Again, read this in a couple of days. 

- And again, I really enjoyed that Serena Akeroyd is making her own little universe and dropping hints about future stories. 

-Inessa was an interesting character, because while sheltered and innocent, the girl was just waiting to let her inner “darker” sexuality out. I liked her a lot - she could be very innocent and sweet, but also very catty and straight forward. 

- Eoghan and Inessa, despite of the large age gap, fit one another so well. They were one another’s missing pieces and they just really fit together. 

The Sweetest Oblivion (Made #1) by Danielle Lori

-4 out of 5 stars.

-The chemistry between Elena and Nico was really great. 

-I enjoyed Elena’s POV - she was attracted to Nico, but she also hated herself a bit for it. Not just because he was supposed to marry her sister (don’t worry, sister is in love with someone else), but also because of her own past. 

- Nico was a little harder to read, because we didn’t get as much of his POV.

- Knowing that this is yet another mob series that follows several characters - who are slowly introduced in each book - makes me really excited to meet and read about more characters. 

Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #1) by Cora Reilly

- 4 out of 5 stars.

-Aria may be too good and too pure for this world. Luca’s love for her was very sweet. Aria x Luca fan.

- Enjoyable and fast pace. 

-I enjoyed the way characters from future novels in the series appeared/made cameos throughout the novel. 

-The main couple had a bit too much miscommunication, but they were young and dumb, so I forgive it.

Bound By Duty (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #2) by Cora Reilly

-3.5 out of 5 stars.

-I loved Val. Especially at the start of the novel when her main problem was: “I’m over 20. This is my second marriage. I’m still a virgin. I’ll be damned if I don’t have sex.”

-Dante on the other hand - he took the “Ice King” trope a bit too far. Did he truly love Valentina or was it more about protecting his children and being fond of Val? I’m sorry to sad I didn’t feel like he loved Val as much (or even in the same way) as he loved his first wife. 

Bound by Hatred (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #3) by Cora Reilly

-3 out of 5 stars (maybe closer to a 2.5/2.8)

- I know that Matteo and Gianna are a lot of people’s favorites, but their bickering and Slap-Kiss dynamic got a bit old. I also found Gianna really annoying in Bound by Honor, and that didn’t change here.

Bound by Temptation (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #4) by Cora Reilly

- 4 out of 5 stars

- Maybe the most romantic couple? I mean, if a man is willing to start a mob war for you...come on.

Bound by Vengeance (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #5) by Cora Reilly

- 4 out of 5 stars.

- Maybe Growl/Ryan and Cara are a little unbalance and maybe their relationship is dark and twisted, but it works. Again, get yourself a man who is willing to start a mob war for you. 

Twisted Loyalties (The Camorra Chronicles #1) by Cora Reilly

-3 out of 5 stars. 

- Like Bound by Vengeance, Twisted Loyalties was a way of tying the two series together. But, I didn’t like this one all that much -

- Fabiano’s obsession with Leona (and it felt like an obsession) actually made me fear for her. Leona was “pure” and safe and reminded him of his sisters with her loyalty toward her mother. So, of course Fabiano would want to be with her. But, it was clear Leona wanted a different path for her life - especially at the start of the book. 

-I’m not convinced of Fabiano’s development in this book. He still felt emotionless at the end, and I’m not sure if his love for Leona was actually love or an obsession and a need to have someone like his sisters in his life. 

- Leona's innocence and naivety were fine, but she annoyed me at times. She wanted to run and I kind of wish she had made it out of Vegas. Maybe then I’d see the so-called love Fabiano had for her. 

- I have to mention the Falcone brothers. We have been hearing so much about how terrible their family is. Here we saw them from Leona and Fabiano’s POVs, and they were just as crazy as promised. Nino, no emotions? Interesting. Remo, a true psychotic. Savio, he’s a child, so his “adult” situations made me uncomfortable. Protect Adamo!

Twisted Emotions (The Camorra Chronicles, #2) by Cora Reilly

-4.5 out of 5 stars

- Nino and Kiara were really cute. Maybe the sweetest couple I’ve read by Cora Reilly. I didn’t care for his cheating, though I get why he did it. I just didn’t like it/find it was needed. And, I wanted/needed more chapters from his POV, because it felt like Nino fell in love too quickly. I want to read their next book.

-Nino is supposed to be "emotionless”, having “turned off” his emotions due to childhood trauma. (This was told to me 1000x in the novel, btw). BUT he tries so hard to be sweet and considerate of Kiara. He buys her a piano! He understands her past trauma and tries (in his own way) of being respectful and protective toward her - even standing up to Remo! He follows Kiara’s lead and it’s actually very sweet.

-Kiara is one of the strongest female leads in this series. Yes, she was scared of men - especially Remo - but that is understandable considering what she lived through. She needed to be protected and I liked that she was able to heal, but she wasn’t completely healed in the end - she still had a ways to go. And, her friendship with Adamo was the cutest thing. They were so sweet with one another! And honestly, despite his ‘I don’t like you or what you’ve done to Nino’ attitude - Remo and Kiara are headed toward brother/sister territory. 

Twisted Pride (The Camorra Chronicles, #3) by Cora Reilly

-4 out of 5 stars

-So...Remo is in major need of intense therapy. Like, years of intense therapy and I’m not 100% convinced that Serafina didn’t suffer from Stockholm Syndrome. But, as Serafina muses - she and Remo have a twisted love for one another. It’s clearly not 100% healthy, but it works for them. Serafina is allowed to be herself with him and Remo pulls back (a bit) from his destructive behaviors with her. 

-Remo...who knew he could be such a family man? Like, you could tell, when he started to fall for Serafina. He slowly started to try and be a bit of a better person. That scene where they got married? And it was just his brothers, Kiara, Fabiano, and the babies - and Remo said it was fine, because it was just the people that matter? Sweet. 

-Serafina stood up for herself and didn’t let Remo phase her (well, not as much as he wanted to) and I loved that. She was strong, self-assured, and she wanted more out of life than what the Outfit was willing to give her. 

-Speaking of the Outfit - um, why did they not believe Serafina when she stated - several times - that what they think happened with Remo wasn’t actually what happened? Why did her father and brother treat two BABIES like trash? And they tortured Adamo - a fifteen year old child!

Twisted Bonds (The Camorra Chronicles, #4) by Cora Reilly

-4 out of 5 stars

- I was disappointed to see that 60% of this novel was just Twisted Pride from Nino and Kiara’s POV.

- I feel like this one was not as well written as the past novels in the series. I saw a lot of typos and things didn’t always flow well. That said - I really do love Nino and Kiara. 

Twisted Hearts (The Camorra Chronicles #5) by Cora Reilly

-2 out of 5 stars

-So, Savio loses all his character development in this novel and Gemma deserves better. 

Devil in Winter (Wallflowers #3) by Lisa Kleypas

- 4 out of 5 stars

- I loved Evie and  Sebastian. I am reading this out of order, so while I knew  Sebastian was the villain of the last book - he was so perfect with Evie here. Is it cliche that the “bad boy” has spent his whole life waiting for the sweet and strong girl - yes. But, did I love it? Also yes.

The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever (Bevelstoke #1) by Julia Quinn

-4 out of 5 stars

- Very sweet and fun friends to lovers romance. 

One Good Earl Deserves a Lover (The Rules of Scoundrels #2) by Sarah MacLean

- 4 out of 5 stars

-I know people had issues with Pippa, but I sort of always assummed she was on the spectrim. Cross was really fun - especially when he became so annoyed with Pippa, because she was different and just lived her life. 

To Seduce a Sinner (Legend of the Four Soldiers #2) by Elizabeth Hoyt

-2.5 out of 5 stars

-While I enjoyed the writing style, I couldn’t totally love the couple. Japer falls for Melisande, because she’s proper and “not like other girls” or something.Melisande has loved Jasper for 6+ years, but refuses to admit it - even after she marries him and it’s clear he wants a real marriage. Eh.  

-I’ll read more from the author, but I didn’t enjoy this one. 

The King's Spinster Bride (Aspect and Anchor #0.5) by Ruby Dixon

-2 out of 5 stars.

-While the world building was well done, there weren’t any issues between the couple.  He really loved her- he worked his way up to becoming First Warrior for her.  She loved him, but was nervous because she was “old”. (She’a 33 and he’s 24). There was also some worry about marriage stuff, but over all, it was just a little read that was neither terrible nor memorable. 

Neon Gods (Dark Olympus #1) by Katee Robert

-3 out of 5 stars

-While I enjoyed the main characters, the world building was poorly done. i did like a lot of the supporting characters and hope they get their own books. 

Brutal Prince (Brutal Birthright #1) by Sophie Lark

-2 out of 5 stars (DNF’ed at 40%)

-People have been telling me to read Sophie Lark since March, so I picked this up on audio book. The writing is fairly good (though there are some issues with the mafia aspects), but it was the characters that made me DNF this novel.

-First: you have Aida’s family (she’s 20 and her brothers are all older (I think?) and they all decide to crash the party of a family they hate. Why? They are grown people! Aida causes a fire in the house and steals a pocket watch. And...the two families decide they should get married. Again, why...? Just pay for the damage. Since one of the sons was injured: agree to something for that. 

-Second: Aida is 20. She’s also VERY immature. She plays tricks on Callum. (She actually eats a strawberry before kissing him - he’s very allegic to them). She curses and talks about how she’s a “tomboy” and how she hates the family she marries into. She’s a fairly horrible, immature, and bratty young womn. I just couldn’t root for her.

-Third: Callum is 30. He’s 30 and acts like a horny teenager. I listen to the male narrtator discuss sex and p*s*y over and over again. While Aida is verbally and physically harmful toward Callum, Callum is physically and emotionally abusive toward Aida. 

-Fourth: Two toxic, immature people do not a rootable couple make. I couldn’t stand these two people and was annoyed the whole time I listened to the audio. 

-Fifth: I think I would like to read more from the auhor,but this novel REALLY wasn’t for me. 

Bad Guy by Ruby Dixon

-1 out of 5 stars

-This should have been half its size. There was noreal development between characters. Eh.

The Bully (Kingmakers #3) by Sophie Lark

- 4 out of 5 stars

-I read this one first, because so many people said it was the best of the series. I hadn’t like Brutal Prince at all, but I loved this one. 

-Seeing the development of Dean and Cat was fun. Was Dean actually really childish for a 20+ (I’m guessing he’s 20-21), but I got it. 

-Cat was great. I understand a lot of people found her “boring” in book 2, but it’s very clear that she was just waiting for someone or something to let her out of her shell. 

-I’m really looking forward to book 4, as that was set up nicely. 

Stolen Heir (Brutal Birthright #2) by Sophie Lark

-3 out of 5 stars

-While I liked Nessa a lot - I wasn’t totally sold on the romance.

Deviant King (Royal Elite #1) by Rina Kent

-3 out of 5 stars.

-While I find Aiden toxic, I cannot deny the chemistry between Aiden and Elsa. I don’t like that she gave in to him so quickly - especially as he had made her life horrible for the last three years - but I can forgive it, as this is a “bully” romance. 

-The mystery is interesting, as are the hints of future stories with other characters. 

-And, where are the adults!?

Steel Princess (Royal Elite #2) by Rina Kent

-3 out of 5 stars

-Now that Aiden has a POV, we can see that he is connected to Elsa’s past. I like that aspect, as well as Aiden trying to win Elsa over.

-And her dead dad is alive?!

-Also, I love Knox.

Twisted Kingdom (Royal Elite #3) by Rina Kent

-2 out of 5 stars.

-While I enjoyed the way the mystery was wrapped up, I’m not totally in love with it. It closed what happenedto both Aiden and Elsa, but it left a few doors opened and really doesn’t paint their fathers in the best lights. 

Black Knight (Royal Elite #4) by Rina Kent

-3 out of 5 stars.

-Getting into Kim’s head (and seeing the emotional and mental abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother) made me so sad. 

- What was worse is that she was basically abandoned for EIGHT years and bullied by said ex-friends during that time because of a misunderstanding. Yes, they were eleven, but why couldn’t Xander have confronted his dad or Kim’s dad or someone during that time? Why did he have to be horrible to her at every turn? And let others do the same? And, why was he still hanging out with Kir -? I understand that he was looking out for Kim and Kir and that he still loved her (and that this is geared more toward readers in their late teens/early 20s), but - come on!

-Kim forgave Xander way too easily (a trend in this series), and I was a bit uncomfortable with the fact that right after the big secret was out, Xander decided that he wasn’t “holding back” anymore and that he would be with Kim. Like - shouldn’t you go to therapy? 

-I liked the characters and some of their interactions (and those building hints for the rest of the series), but I ended the book truly believing all these characters need massive amounts of therapy. 

Vicious Prince (Royal Elite #5) by Rina Kent

-2 out of 5 stars.

-Gone is the carefree Ronan of past stories. Here is the “fake smile” Ronan that has carefully been hidden for the last ten years.

-Teal’s master plan of revenge is what drives her, but only for about 20% of the novel. What was interesting was what we were told: she likes men at least 15 years older than her and she enjoys (or believes she would enjoy) some very kinky stuff. 

-(Side note: I’m sorry, but - the 17/18 year olds have access to the records of their parents’ sex club? Where are the adults? Yes, it’s explained that the club only takes members who are 18+, but no.)

-Despite protests that he hates her, Ronan falls for Teal, like 20% into the book? And after having sex once - she loves him back? I know this is a series LIGHT on character development, but...what? Yesterday I could barely stand you and today I want us to be together for ever? 

-And, we get another childhood tramua story, which played out WAY too fast and was wrapped up WAY to easily. 

-I liked Ronan during the other books and Teal could have been really complex, but we got what we got.

[flambazz]

Pantheons: Hermes

Author: Balsam

History: Ancient Mediterranean; Greek Pantheon

Which god in the Greek pantheon do you see the most of in your everyday life? If you had anyone who wasn’t Hermes in mind, you’re wrong. You’ll find images of him just about everywhere from his caduceus carved out of the stone of a hospital, to his head being shown on a car’s logo, to his winged sandals painted onto Goodyear tires. He’s literally everywhere. We even have a planet and a heavy metal, both existing under his Roman name Mercury. But who is he, really, in the scheme of pantheons? 

Hermes, known to Rome as Mercury, was the Ancient Greek god of roads/journeys, travelers, merchants, trade/commerce, athletes, thieves, and trickery. His name shows up in Mycenaean scripts like Dionysus’ does, but in the pantheon itself he is rather young. Predominantly, he was recognized as a messenger god, but in a similar sense to Mycenaean Dionysus he was also revered as an underworld god due to being a psychopomp and being responsible for guiding the souls of the dead in addition to being responsible for guiding dreams. In his myths he has a habit of helping out the mortal heroes when they run into issues of some kind. Now, to understand his characterization and historical context, we need to understand where exactly in the realm of Ancient Greek mythology Hermes stands. Let’s get into it.

Hermes is incredibly young in Olympian standards, with Dionysus being the only one canonically younger. Born to the pleiad Maia and the son of Zeus (like just about everyone else), his birthplace is a cave in the mountains of Arcadia. He sets himself apart from other Olympians by getting into trouble literally the day he’s born. According to Homer’s Hymn to Hermes, the first thing to happen after being born was his finding a tortoise and turning its shell into a lyre. He gets hungry and decides the only sane thing to do is steal 50 of Apollo’s sacred cattle, turning their hooves backwards to attempt and prevent Apollo from noticing they’re gone. Stowing the cows, he sacrifices some to the gods and then shows up back in the cave to pretend to be a helpless baby. Maia doesn’t buy his bullsh*t so instead he takes his time and explains to his mom that he’s attempting to get the Olympians to notice him, and that he’s trying to get the respect and honor they deserve instead of being stuck in a cave for the rest of his immortality.

Meanwhile back in Narnia, Apollo can’t find his cows so he plays Sherlock Holmes and finds Hermes back in the cave. While Apollo tries interrogating him, Hermes basically pulls a Miles Morales and says “What cows?” So, Apollo drags him up to Zeus, who’s cackling like a madman and then tells him to show the way to the cows. On the way, Hermes starts playing his lyre and wins Apollo over. Apollo is enchanted by it and promises Hermes will be messenger of the gods, promising he and his mother will be honored among the Olympians. Hermes and Apollo exchange the lyre for the role of herdsman and return to Olympus, where Hermes promises never to steal from him again and gets his caduceus (small staff with two snakes around it; symbol of heralds/messengers). And so, Hermes makes an arrival as a trickster and underdog wrangling an improbable victory via cunning and tricks. One who, despite winning untold power/fame, still comes across as the underdog for multiple centuries following.

Hermes regularly appears in the mythology, playing a support role in the Iliad and the Odyssey. In the Iliad he is allied with the Achaeans for the majority but protects King Priam when he went to the Achaean camp to retrieve Hector’s body, and in the Odyssey he regularly provides help and advice for Odysseus including how to get Circe to break the enchantment on his men and then later guiding the suitor’s souls to the afterlife. This might have been because Odysseus is actually Hermes’ great-grandson (son of Autolycus).  One of Hermes’ most well known accomplishments is killing Argus, a hundred-eyed giant hired to watch over Io after she got turned into a cow. Zeus asks him to free her, so Hermes shows up as a shepherd and bores him asleep with the story of panpipes then cuts his Argus’ off. This is what gave him the epithet of Argeiphontes (slayer of Argus). He’s also got a bunch of other appearances in Greek mythology, frequently helping out heroes like Perseus and Orestes by giving them the means to succeed. This trickery is one of Hermes’ major characteristics as the god of liars, thieves, and the other stuff in his purview. While these seem like things that maybe shouldn’t be attributed to a god, most Greek heroes were underdogs or tricksters in some way and trickery was well respected when used in moderation.

Before we get into the rest of the history, we have one kind of wacky thing about Hermes: The Herms. The Herms were boundary/border markers commonly found along roadways, usually with a depiction of Hermes’ face and always with a carving of a dong on them. I don’t know why that’s what was non-negotiable either but I wish I did. With Hermes being a god of borders and boundaries, it makes sense that he’d be the one to show up on most of the border markers but it’s also a little weird (not because of the dong). So we’re going to shove that into a corner for a bit and get into the history.

First off, Hermes used to be Pan (not pansexual, the god Pan). Let me explain that. Pan is a mysterious figure due to how old he is. Because of his age, we don’t have much clear information on his origin or development. As he was characterized in Ancient Greece, Pan is the god of the wilderness, shepherds and flocks, nature, mountain wilds, fields/groves/glens, sex and fertility, and theatrical critisism. He was a companion to the nymphs, is responsible for panic (as a concept and word), and he’s literally the legendary dong. His worship was almost exclusively in the mountains of Arcadia, which also happens to be the birthplace of Hermes. Arcadia is known for being inland, mountainous and forested, and extremely old compared to the rest of Ancient Greece.

As a wild god, Pan wasn’t worshipped in manmade structures. He was mostly worshipped in natural caves and only ever had two built temples (one in Peloponnese). In the mythology, Pan is older than the Olympians are, and is credited with giving Artemis her hunting dogs and Apollo the gift of prophecy. Most commonly, he is known for two things that bear his name: panpipes (syrinx) and panic (panikos). He created the syrinx when a nymph he was chasing became reeds to try and escape, and then he turned her into the syrinx so he could put his mouth all over her like a weirdo. As for panic (for people who don’t know what it is), it’s a kind of fear that is intense enough it borders madness. He is credited with it as, supposedly, he would yell in the wood and anyone who heard it would be inflicted with said panic, which could rout entire armies. And while we know some stuff about him, there’s even more that we either don’t know or it’s vague and fuzzy. For example, his parentage is incredibly vague and varied, which suggests he’s very old since that kind of myth takes a long time to drift.

In fact, it’s highly likely that Pan is older than even Mycenaean Greece. Comparative mythology scholars that are working on reconstructing Proto-Indo-European religion that spawned from the Vedic, Norse, and Greek mythologies theorize that Pan is an offshoot from the god PÉH2USōN (no I don’t know how to say it), whose only other offshoot is the Vedic pastoral deity Pushan.

The Rigveda mentions Pushan, and may be as old as 1700 BCE. This means that if Pan is an offshoot from the same deity, he also predates Mycenaean Greece (age started in 1600 BCE). However, due to lack of written sources, we don’t actually know how Pan was characterized at any point before the Mycenaean age, but we can learn by proxy by looking at Pushan.

Pushan is the Vedic god of roads/journeys, marriages, cattle herding/feeding, and the sun as a guardian figure. Like Hermes, Pushan also served as a psychopomp, but is associated with goats and got all his teeth knocked out that one time. So, the generally accepted theory we have is that way, way back before or during the Mycenaean age is when Hermes split from Pan, and before even that, the original Pan was incredibly similar to Pushan, a liminal god of navigating between places like roads, general wilderness, and the journey to the afterlife. When the original Pan got subdivided, current Pan retained the pastoralist and herding connotations, but the roads and journeys stuff went to Hermes and left Pan reduced. It’s worth noting that Hermes also has herding connotations. 

Now, this isn’t just based on the fact that Hermes is somewhat similar to a Vedic deity. There are also some other, stranger connections the two have. For one, both of them have an origin in Arcadia along with their centers of worship. In some versions of mythology, Pan is Hermes' son for some reason. Which is a weird connection, but at the same time it does make sense to link them in a reverse way. It’s also surprisingly relevant; Hermes and Pan are both notorious in the mythos for having large dongs (I wish I didn’t have to talk about it but here we are). So, time to go back to the Herms mentioned earlier. 

The word itself translates into “piled stones”. So Hermes’ name isn't even a name. But the concept of Herms is an extremely old concept in the region, older than Ancient Greece and Hermes both. Back before Herms were sculpted, roads were marked with large piles of stones. Lack of human features didn't make them less sacred, though, and Herms were revered. Custom was to put another stone on the pile or to anoint it with oil, and messing with them or defacing them was a horrible thing. Pan, as the old god of roads and journeys, was likely the god who was revered through said Herms. Now, remember how I said Hermes had an epithet because of killing Argus? Well he isn’t the only god who had them, in fact most if not all of them did and they described the capacity a god was worshipped in. In Pan’s case, the one I’m going to mention is ‘Pan Hermes’ (although we aren’t really sure) or ‘Pan of the piled boundary stones’. What we do know is that around the time he likely had this epithet, he got split into current Pan and the god Hermes. This happened at a very early time, and so we aren’t quite sure why Pan got separated from his epithet and Hermes got to be his own god.

What’s likely is that old Pan was a fairly specialized deity and so his worship was having issues expanding beyond rustic areas and wild lands. Whatever the reason, we know Hermes shows up in Mycenaean Linear B writing (or a word like Hermes), meaning he split from Pan before proper records. By the time we get to the 800s, Homer is writing epics and Hermes is firmly seated in the Olympians as is shown by his role in the Iliad and Pan is simply a wilderness god. 

Oh, and for the people well acquainted with Greek Mythological esoterica or the Percy Jackson books; Pan is (technically) canonically dead. According to Plutarch writing from around 100 CE, a handful of decades earlier during the reign of Tiberius, a divine voice supposedly called out from Paksi to a man named Thamus telling him “The Great god Pan is dead.” Thamus then told everyone and they were reasonably bummed out about it. But for every sense that matters, Pan didn’t actually seem to die since his shines were still frequented and worship of him continued as usual. So what the hell? 

Well, it’s likely that this is a big misunderstanding. See, the goddess Ishtar had a dead boyfriend named Tammuz who had a cult that got bright over to Greece. And in the Ancient Greek language, the sentence “Thamus, the Great god Pan is dead” is read as “Thamus panmegas tethneke”, however due to ‘pan’ being both the name of a god and the prefix meaning all, the sentence can also be read as “Tammuz the all-great is dead”. So this whole ‘Pan being dead’ thing might have just been some dude overhearing the cult of Tammuz praising him for his sole achievement and thinking they were talking about the god Pan being dead. So yeah.

Back to Hermes. In early Ancient Greece, Pan and Hermes didn’t look too dissimilar,and between 800 and 500 BCE Hermes was shown as an older man with a beard. But in Classical and Hellenistic Greece, he is shown the way we recognize him now; a young, beardless, mostly naked athlete. Dionysus also underwent a similar change but this isn’t about him. Time to talk about Roman Hermes; Mercury. 

Most Roman and Greek deities started as gods in their own right. Mars, who is Ares’ roman counterpart, started as a god of war and as an agricultural deity and was treated notably better than Ares is. And for the most part Rome’s other gods were also fully-fledged deities, though sometimes other gods got mashed together like play-doh. For example, Pluto (Roman Hades) was accidentally the god of wealth, Plutus, and the god of the underworld, Pluton. But Mercury didn’t even exist. The name has sketchy etymology, but likely comes from either the Latin root for ‘merchant’ or a much older word for ‘boundary’. In either case the name is a descriptor of one of Hermes’ divine duties and nothing farther. He did absorb the Roman Dea Lucrii, a handful of minor deities in charge of immoral profit coming from bad sources, but Mercury was basically just Roman Hermes. 

During the Roman era, Hermes was extremely popular. And since Rome was the expansion kings, Hermes’ status as a trade and merchants god saw a bunch of use. He showed up on coins, imagery of him is in Pompeii, and he has another quirk making him so popular. Rome had a policy of taking and incorporating the gods of places they conquered into their pantheon in one way or another, finding the Roman god closest to whichever god it was and insisting they’re the same. This happened with the Greeks and the Celts where they likened Mercury to Lugh/Lleu who was a big deal seeing as he was the creator of all arts along with being a warrior-hero-king. Rome saw him as a commerce god and so he was equaled to Mercury. And when Rome dealt with the Germanic peoples, Mercury god likened to Odin, of all people. The Ptolemaic Greeks (oh god) equated Hermes with gods like Thoth and Anubis. 

Hermes was all over the place, which is very appropriate, even showing up in Aesop’s fables for some reason. But for being such a versatile deity, why is he so (literally) iconic? We don’t know. Perhaps his mobility and speed resonates with our modern society? Maybe it’s because he’s one of the few of the Olympians to combine likable traits with a lack of distractingly terrible character flaws? Maybe it’s because medicine, communication, and capitalism are central qualities of many societies as well as his character. But his liminal status gets him in most every society and kind of just stays forever, turning up in places centuries later down the line. 

If you read all of this, thank you and please reblog so more people can see and learn!

[beerecordings]

Mythology AU - Chase is a Selkie, Marvin’s a star spirit, Jameson’s fae but likes to look like a little black dog, Henrik’s the seventh son of a seventh son, and Jackie is Jackie! See other pieces from this universe here and here.

Thanks for the prompt, Kit! This fic is not actual ego shipping but features what’s basically a love spell on one ego which needs to be broken. But no one tries to take advantage of anyone else and they all work together to help. This is the earliest point in the timeline I’ve written so far, with Chase meeting Henrik, Jackie, and Marvin! I hope you like it.

As a lil mythology debriefing, most Selkie who have their coats stolen in the stories have them stolen intentionally and are then either forced to marry the men who stole them or fall in love with and marry the men who stole them. Giving a Selkie their coat back releases them to either stay or go, but I wanted to explore what would happen if a Selkie had their coat given back to them but was still too love-drunk from having it stolen in the first place to be able to think clearly and get back in the ocean.

.

He’s nervous.

A lot of Henrik’s clients are. A lot of Henrik’s clients are nervous. A lot of Henrik’s clients, these days, aren’t human.

The seventh son of a seventh son can see us, they might tell each other, flitting between the branches of a tree or drifting with the waves of the water. He learned human medicine, but he’s quick. He’s quick. He’s learning and his luck is good.

His luck is very good. His mind, he likes to tell himself, is better.

(But the truth is that his luck is better than anyone’s and maybe if it hadn’t caused him so much grief and driven him away from everything he had ever known he would appreciate it better.)

He’s nervous then, yes, but Henrik can’t see the glamour of a fairy on his skin or the flickering color of a shape-shifter’s eye. There are no horns hiding in his hair, no hooves tucked away in his sneakers, no water streaming endlessly from his eyes. He does not speak in tongues or hover just a centimeter off the ground. He does not glow. He does not breathe like the cosmos are running through his lungs.

He just looks human.

But if you are the seventh son of a seventh son, you might catch, in the air, the same thing that Henrik did - a slight smell of salt and stone.

And a faint feeling that the man and his child are not human.

“How’re you now?” asks the man in a whisper, tucking the baby close to his chest and taking a step back from Henrik as he swung open the door to his run-down little clinic. Henrik stares back at him and then around at the alleyway, wondering if someone is following him, but there is nothing there but the man and the bundle in his arms.

“Good, and yourself?” answers Henrik politely, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s late, I’m about to close.”

“Sorry.” He tugs on the cap over his hair nervously, disturbing a single blond curl in the middle of his dark brown hair. “I thought the fever would go away, but it hasn’t. If I don’t get it checked out my ex will have me for sausage.”

“Mh. A baby?”

The man clears his throat and holds the infant out.

Henrik stares down at the baby. Up at the father. Down at the baby.

Now there is something slightly inhuman to them.

It’s in the eyes. He’s never seen eyes so dark and deep, like they were made for nothing but light to come in. With one, it’s an oddity. With the two of them...

It’s strange.

“The baby is human?” asks Henrik, in a voice that says he already knows the answer.

The man stares at Henrik, black eyes wide.

He’s nervous.

Henrik sighs and steps back from the door. “Come on in.”

“Thank you. Thank you. My ex would have killed me.”

The man darts in the door, heaving his backpack up on his shoulders and scurrying over to the examination table, where he takes one last glance at Henrik and then begins to unwrap the baby like a little Christmas present.

Baby shampoo and salt smell warm the chilly little clinic while the baby fusses unhappily at his father, reaching up to snag his finger and shove it into his soft, slobbery baby mouth for something to gnaw on. He has a little white onesie with different colors of fish patterned all over and a tiny breast pocket that says “I’m a real catch!”

Sometimes being supremely lucky is very nice, especially if it brings you cute babies to examine while you were in one of the slightly tired, bored, generally-unhappy-and-not-really-knowing-why moods you’ve been stuck in for some weeks. Henrik washes his hands at the sink and comes over to examine the baby.

“His name’s Hunter. I’m - ”

“Don’t tell me names,” Henrik cuts him off. “I don’t ask questions. You have money?”

“Yes, whatever you charge.”

“Dangerous offer.”

The man gives a weak chuckle.

Hunter gurgles angrily at Henrik’s hands roaming over his chubby body, kicking his feet in their booties and slurping on his father’s finger as a form of protest.

“Yes, his temperature is high,” Henrik agrees. “How long has he been like this?”

“Since yesterday. I just have him for the weekend and he’s been the grumpiest little sucker in the world. I have to take him back to my wife’s tonight. Sorry... my ex’s. She was my wife but now she isn’t, and so with the kids it’s kind of, uh. Well. Hard.”

“Don’t have to explain, I understand,” says Henrik mildly, listening to Hunter’s heart.

“Oh? You’re, uh, divorced? Or should I not ask questions either?”

Henrik raises an eyebrow at him, a small smile rising on his mouth. “I’ll excuse it this one time. We’re separated. But the child was much older.”

“Ah. Yeah. Messy split or was it, like, pretty clean?”

“It was a natural disaster,” answers Henrik wryly, and the man manages a full laugh this time, his stance relaxing a little.

He isn’t like the men from the gangs, staring in Henrik in silence as he works. He isn’t like the kids and adults who are running away from something and try to stay quiet despite the nervous confessions that keep falling from their mouths, looking for someone to confide in. He isn’t like the fairies who run their eyes up and down Henrik’s body, whispering to each other about how clever or how silly this human is or making snide jokes about him stinking of beer or bratwurst.

Henrik is glad. He thinks he needed a break from all of that. His work is his great love, but often it fuels his fury or, worse, breaks his heart.

There has been a melancholy in him lately. He does not know how to disperse it. No one would have noticed, because Jackie never can pick up on it, but Marvin said that his eyes had gone sad, whatever that means, and informed their roommate that Henrik needed cheering up. Since then he’s been hiding in his office more often than not - he can only be smothered in starboy kisses and served sympathy pasta so many times before he needs some space.

“Saw the game last night?” asks Henrik, noticing the father getting tense again.

“What game?”

“Well, my roommate said there was a game and he was very excited and mad and enthusiastic, which usually means it was worth watching.”

The man laughs. “Right. Yeah, football, wasn’t it? Good stuff, yeah. I saw the score. Didn’t watch it cause I got him here and the other one at home. Try to spend the whole weekend with them. Your roommate sounds like a character. He watches just football?”

“He’ll watch anything with a ball and some collisions,” says Henrik. “And he is certainly a character. How long have you lived among humans?”

The man’s head shoots up, his blond curl hanging in front of his eyes. “Hey, now!” he says. “That football question was a trap!”

Henrik winks at him and leans down to check the baby’s ears. “Fair play?”

“Fair play,” concedes the father, sitting back with an amused sort of irritation. “Since I was nineteen, if you must know.”

“So that’s, what, six years?”

“Eight.”

“And the baby?”

“Well, uh.” The man frowns and glances down at his son. “Well, he’s new, you see.”

Henrik bursts into laughter for the first time in days and fuck, that feels good.

“I meant how old is he!”

“Oh! Well, I - I didn’t know!”

He’s bright red, his freckles drowned out in blush. “I wasn’t sure what you meant, I don’t know what sort of babies you get in here - ”

“Hahaha! Not immortal ones!”

“Well, you say that, but I’ve met some weird creatures in my time!”

“Alright, that much I understand.”

“Maybe you thought he was a little spirit or something, I don’t know.”

“Aw, a little spirit baby.” Henrik hides his eyes and then pulls his hands away, catching Hunter’s attention with a game of peek-a-boo. “Are you a little god, Herr Baby? Are you a little spirit?”

“He’d be the god of spitting up carrots all over his dad.”

“Tom once walked up to me as I was sitting on the couch and when I asked him what was wrong, he immediately puked all over my slacks.”

The father throws back his head and laughs loud and wonderful, his shoulders shaking and her dark eyes a-glow. “Fuck’s sake. But then they’re worth it, aren’t they?”

He leans over Hunter to blow a blubber kiss into the fat of his stomach, but the child must be feeling unwell again, because he chooses this moment to begin wailing, his small face scrunched up with distress. The man is quick to try soothing him, rubbing at his hot, bumpy baby head and murmuring to him in Irish.

Truthfully, Henrik is grateful for the distraction. He shouldn’t have brought Tom up. Yes, they’re worth it. But sometimes they break your heart too.

“I can see why you were concerned,” he said. “His fever is quite high and has lasted a while. But I am wondering why you didn’t see a normal doctor? If you’re illegal, just tell me you couldn’t.”

“Ah, no, I could have,” admits the man, picking Hunter up and rocking him. “But I guess I don’t trust them. Or I’d prefer someone who knows... just, well, who knows, you know? We always used to see a doctor who was one of us, but now we’ve moved too far away. I didn’t know who to go to... I was told you had the Sight, that you would treat... people like us.”

“But I don’t know,” answers Henrik gently, pulling open his cabinets for a prescription. “You haven’t told me what you are.”

He looks up at Henrik. Down at the baby.

“We left everything we had known behind when we came to live with humans,” he says softly. “Since then I haven’t met another like me living among them. And I haven’t told anyone - not a soul - about what I really am.”

Curious. Curious. Only so many creatures would choose to make a split so deep. He must be able to pass as human almost perfectly. He knows he is not a werewolf, or he would need others of his kind to survive. He knows he is not demonic, or he couldn’t have passed through Marvin’s warding. He knows he is not a Pooka, because Henrik did not fear him, and Pooka do not love their sons, and Pooka do not speak as humans do, and a million other reasons, too, and yet the thought still crossed Henrik’s mind. Even when it is irrational, it always crosses his mind: what if? what if?

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” says Henrik, writing down Hunter’s temperature.

“I’m a little in the public eye, is the thing.”

“Oh-ho,” laughs Henrik, letting his eyes flick up to the ceiling for a second. “I got a celebrity in here.”

“I didn’t say that,” protests the father. “Come on, man. It would just be bad if anyone found out who would believe it. Some people don’t like people like me living with humans.”

Henrik puts his clipboard down and reaches out to touch his arm, meeting his gaze. “Look, ‘man,’ there’s really nothing to worry about. I get all kinds in here and I know how to keep the mouth shut when it should be. I would prefer to know. Some creatures can experience medical complications which would be misdiagnosed without understanding. But if you really cannot tell me, you can take the medication and go, just like if I were a human doctor.”

The man looks down at his child, patting along the baby’s stomach to soothe both Hunter and himself. “Okay, alright. Can I come back if any of the kids ever get in trouble again and I need a doctor?”

“Of course you can,” answers Henrik genially. “Especially since you can pay.”

He chuckles, stroking Hunter’s soft head. “Do you know who the Selkie are?”

Henrik stops short in the middle of preparing a syringe of medication.

“Take that as a yes,” says the man, sitting down at a visitor’s chair, his hands in his lap.

Henrik tries to go back to work as calmly as he can. “You’re something of a rarity, then.”

“There’s less and less of us every year,” he answers. “Most of us don’t live among humans, so we die as the ocean does.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well. Me and my family don’t live like that anymore, anyway. Safer on land.”

“What is it like?” asks Henrik, unable to deny his own curiosity. “To be a man one moment, and a seal the next.”

He smiles grimly, playing with the cap of his hat. “To be able to transform is incredible. You feel like you’re apart of something much bigger than you. And that ability, to swim like that, to smell like that, to see like that... well, it’s an experience. But the truth is that when you’re Selkie you’re never expected to do anything but live and die by the ocean. And I wanted something more than that, even if it meant leaving everything behind.”

“I’m going to give him some medicine.”

“Oh, yeah. Okay.”

Henrik and the father coax the needleless syringe into Hunter’s mouth and convince him to swallow the medicine despite his fussy groaning and whimpering.

“Will that help?”

“Yes, I think so. Should reduce the fever. I’m going to prescribe you something to take with to help him recover more quickly, though I expect he’ll be just fine.”

“Oh, great,” breathes the Selkie, staring warmly down at Hunter, who sucks earnestly on his fist and wriggles his feet. “Thank you so much. I think my ex would have about killed me if I had brought him home with a fever and no trip to a doctor. I really didn’t know where else I would have gone.”

“It’s no worry,” answers Henrik. “But, if you were open to it, I might recommend bringing him down to the ocean for a while.”

The Selkie looks up, surprised.

“Whether or not you let him transform, it isn’t always good for creatures like you to be away from all of their people and their... natural habitats, you might say. If you don’t want to live among Selkie, I understand. But a Selkie baby is a Selkie baby. This part of his nature cannot be buried. Letting him play in the water might be good for him sometimes.”

The Selkie stares down at his baby, blinking.

“I don’t know,” he says uncertainly.

“Just something to think about,” replies Henrik levelly.

“Right,” sighs the Selkie, beginning to wrap Hunter back up again, but the suggestion seems to have left him uncertain and thoughtful, focused intently on his child. “Oh, uh, I gotta pay you. How much?”

“The medicine wasn’t expensive. Twenty-five pounds should cover it. But if you can give me more, it helps me keep the place running.”

The Selkie hands him a full fifty pounds. “I don’t know what I would have done without you, man. I don’t really trust human doctors with my kids.”

“If you ever need anything, you know where to find me. Tell me if his fever does not break. Here, my number. Don’t put me in your phone as anything suspicious.”

“Strange doctor in that backalley clinic on Lincoln, got it.”

Henrik smiles grimly at him. The Selkie grins back.

“Thanks for being cool, doc,” he says, touching his shoulder.

“I try.”

“Ha. Okay. Bye.”

“Hey,” says Henrik. “I was driven away from Germany a few years back. I left everything behind too - including, perhaps, people who needed me - but I had my reasons for going. And that doesn’t make me a bad person. Yes?”

The Selkie smiles softly at him, something small and grateful in his eyes.

“Yeah,” he agrees quietly. “Yeah. We have our reasons.”

As he turns to leave, Henrik sees the thoughtfulness come over him again. It’s like he’s far away already. And for whatever reason, when he goes, Henrik himself feels that strange and quiet unhappiness return to his chest as the silence of the lonely clinic consumes him again.

It isn’t until fifteen minutes later that he realizes the Selkie has left his backpack behind.

“Fuck!”

Henrik scoops it up and races out the door just in case he has the chance to catch the Selkie at the bus stop, but he and the baby are gone.

“Goddamn,” murmurs Henrik, walking back to his clinic. “At least he can come back for it. What does he have in here that’s so heavy anyway?”

It’s not really his business to look. In fact, it is his business to not ask questions and respect people’s privacy unless he thinks someone’s getting hurt by his silence. He really should not look in the Selkie’s bag.

But a sheen of smooth white through the almost-but-not-quite-entirely zipped-up backpack pauses him.

Henrik sits down in his office, staring.

He shouldn’t.

But he’s never met a Selkie before.

And if that’s what he thinks it is...

He’s pulling it out before he can doubt himself any longer.

“Wow,” he whispers. “Wow.”

The Selkie coat is beautiful. White and blond and brown patterns decorate the Selkie’s skin on a luxuriously soft coat. Henrik stands up and puts it on for a moment, marveling at the weight and warmth of it. He breathes in that same deep, salt and stone smell he caught on the Selkie when he first came in the door.

And if this were his skin, all he would have to do was walk down into the water of the ocean and then - transformation. He would be a seal.

“Incredible,” he murmurs to himself, taking the coat off again. “Truly.”

Being the seventh son of a seventh son is lucky, sure, but he thinks it might have been even luckier to be born as something as cool as that.

He sets the backpack down in the clinic. He doesn’t think much of it at the time.

.

Someone’s knocking on his clinic door.

“At one in the morning.” He tsks his tongue against his teeth. “Better not be those werewolf kids again, I swear.”

He gets up, straightening his coat.

“Who’s there?” He calls to the door.

“It’s - it’s - it’s - ” They seem to hardly be able to get the words out, breathless and stammering. “It’s the Selkie, fr-from earlier!”

“Oh, right.” Henrik unlocks and opens the door. “Did you come back for your - ”

Hands grab his lapels, marching him back towards the wall of the room as wild dark eyes bore intensely into him. The Selkie pants, his grip unwavering on his coat.

“Hey!” cries Henrik, a little alarmed. “What are you doing?”

“My coat,” whispers the Selkie, something desperate and terrified in his deep eyes. “Please, did I leave it here? Please, can’t I have it? I have to, I have to, I - ”

“Oh, alright,” sighs Henrik, finally shoving his hands off. “Yes, I suppose that must have been scary to lose. You seemed distracted.”

“You do have it,” sobs the Selkie. “Oh, fuck. Please, I’ll give you anything you want to have it back! I can pay you a lot of money!”

“Calm down, man.” Henrik shakes his head at him. “You are freaking the good doctor out. I don’t want your coat. You can have it back. Here.”

He steps over to the wall of the clinic and picks up the backpack, bringing it back towards the Selkie. He takes it from him with shaking hands and pulls the zipper open, finding the coat inside. Tears run down his face as he reaches in to trace his fingers over the smooth, familiar surface of his own skin.

“I’m sorry you were so freaked out,” says Henrik. “You should have called me.”

“Oh,” says the Selkie, in a very small voice. “I had your number, didn’t I?”

“Yeah. Are you okay?”

But he’s just staring down at his coat, flushed and weeping, silent.

“Hey,” says Henrik, touched by concern. “Hey. It’s okay. You’ve got it now. Everything’s okay, right?”

The Selkie stares at his coat. There is a change happening in his face, but Henrik doesn’t recognize the emotion there - just the fact that his face is going from very white to enthusiastically red.

“Can you say something?” asks Henrik. “You are beginning to worry me. Perhaps you have caught your son’s - ”

A pair of hands wrap around his wrists and then Henrik is thrown back against the wall and pushed into a passionate kiss. He yelps in surprise against the warm mouth pressing into his lips, too startled to push back. The Selkie draws away for a moment to breathe and grips at Henrik’s hair, staring at him with eyes that Henrik would think were glazed in fever if he could feel any heat coming off of him.

“Doc,” the Selkie half-groans, making embarrassment burn bright red against Henrik’s cheeks. “You gave it back to me.”

He leans forward to kiss him again and Henrik is glad to realize his brain is no longer crashing like a computer with a virus. Throwing a hand up to stop him, he yanks himself away from the Selkie, stumbling along the wall away from him.

“What the hell!” he cries, nearly tripping over one of the chairs. “You can’t just kiss someone!”

Distress floods down the Selkie’s face, his mouth flipping miserably and his eyes going wide with alarm. “Did I – I did something wrong?”

“You have to know it’s not normal to just start kissing someone.” Henrik scans those blank eyes a second time, beginning to be concerned. Is he having some kind of delusion? Is he drunk? “You said you’ve been living among humans since you were young. What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry,” chokes the Selkie. “I – I know I’m a screw-up, I didn’t mean to make you angry, please don’t make me do anything – ”

“Make you do something?”

“My head feels wrong,” cries the Selkie, and when he curls in on himself he does it so suddenly Henrik thinks he is collapsing. He rushes forward to help him, alarmed. “I didn’t think it could be this strong!”

“What? What is it?” demands Henrik, taking his face between his hands and pulling his gaze up. “What did you take? What are you on?”

“My coat,” breathes the Selkie, his eyes going soft again as Henrik draws his gaze back to his face. “You gave it back to me...”

He surges forward for another kiss and Henrik yelps, shoving his face away. The Selkie makes a squawking noise that would be pretty damn funny in just about any other situation and goes crashing back onto his ass, distress tearing up his freckled face. He stares up at Henrik with enormous eyes dark as the universe, tears welling up in his thick eyelashes.

“Oh, no, oh, no,” he cries, grabbing his own shoulders. “I didn’t mean to make you mad. Please don’t make me do anything. I can be good for you. I want to.”

This is officially too much. Something is wrong, and if Henrik’s luck holds - and it always does - the sense he’s getting that this is because of some magical bullshit will ring true.

“You’re not on drugs, are you?” he asks. “Or drunk. This is something else.”

The Selkie clutches the soft fur of his coat to his chest and sobs, rocking himself back and forth on the floor of the clinic. “Please, I have children, I only just recently got divorced, I don’t want to do anything...”

“You... you don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I won’t make you. Calm down.”

Henrik sinks slowly down to the floor in front of him, giving him some space and trying to look non-threatening, his hands held gently out in front of him. He lets out a shaky sigh, still feeling unnerved. “Just, uh. Don’t try to kiss me again,” he laughs nervously.

“You look so perfect right now, though,” cries the Selkie, hiding his face from him. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this attracted to a person, not even Stacy. I thought this was just a myth. I didn’t think it would feel like this.”

Henrik’s face flames with embarrassment. He tugs at his collar, looking anywhere but at the Selkie, trying to think of anything to say.

“Look - just - stay here for a second. I’m going to give my friends a quick call. They’ll help us figure this out, okay?”

“They won’t hurt me either, will they?”

“Hurt you? No, no, never. They like to help people like you.”

“Cause I’m vulnerable right now, man, I’m - ” The Selkie’s voice shatters and he shakes, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. “I think I’d do anything you asked me to.”

“I’ll just give them a quick call. They’re very trustworthy. They saved me too, when I was vulnerable. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” he says in a small voice.

Henrik slips into his office on feet that are tingling as though he’d just looked off the side of a very tall building. He’s pulling the door tightly shut and yanking out his phone to find Jackie’s number before he’s even given himself a second to breathe, all but slamming the phone to his ear and collapsing into his rolling chair.

“Hullo?”

“Jackie!” he yelps, squeezing the phone to his face. “Hilf mir!”

He knows Jackie has leapt up because he hears him swear as he slams his knee into the coffee table like he always does and, subsequently, Marvin’s laughter in the background. “Okay, I’m coming, I’m coming! What’s wrong, are you hurt? Marv, get up, let’s go!”

“No, no, it’s not that. There’s a Selkie here and I think he’s been cursed to fall in love with me! Can I bring him to the house?”

There’s a long pause on the other end.

Then Jackie is laughing at him.

“Hey!” shrieks Henrik, spinning around in his chair, his anxious feet pedaling him around and around. “It’s not funny!”

“Marv, some guy is hitting on Schneep and his dumb ace ass doesn’t know how to handle it, hahaha.”

“Jackie!”

“You’re so funny, Schneep, I bet you’re red as a tomato.”

“Shut up! Jackie - well, maybe I’m red, but listen! Something’s really, really wrong with him. For real, I mean. He keeps saying how into me he is but he’s terrified of me at the same time - shaking and holding himself. He keeps talking about his coat. I think something’s really wrong.”

There’s a pause on Jackie’s end as Marvin and Jackie confer. A moment later, the phone is passed to Marvin.

“Hi, rabbit’s foot. Is the Selkie hurt?”

“I don’t think so. Just acting really weird.”

“Best be gentle with him, Henrik. Endangered species.”

“I know. I’ve never met one before. I don’t know what else to do.”

“Most Selkie are very social. They live in big clans with normal seals mixed in and many don’t mix with humans anymore. I’ve been to a couple families and they’re the friendliest, most open you’ve ever met. Maybe he just doesn’t understand how to flirt with you?”

“No, Marv, this isn’t that. He’s lived with humans for years. And even if he hadn’t... something’s wrong. Are love potions real?”

“Uh, not sure! Jackie? He doesn’t know either. Okay, clover, better bring him back to the house.���

“Okay. Okay, yeah. I’ll be home in fifteen, alright?”

“Henrik, if he tries to touch you and you don’t want him to, use force, alright? Even if he’s cursed he doesn’t get to take advantage of you.”

“Right.” Henrik feels some of the red drain from his face. “Yes. No one takes anything from me I don’t want to give anymore.”

“Love you!” says Marvin cheerily. “See you soon! Humans are so funny when they blush. Like, that’s not where all that blood’s supposed to be, silly! I - ”

Henrik hangs up on him before he can really get to ranting. He puts his phone down on his lap and takes a deep breath. He gets up. He can do this.

He opens his door and comes face-to-face with the Selkie.

“Sorry!” he squeaks, backing away from Henrik and darting back towards the clinic. “I got nervous when I couldn’t see you, I’m sorry.”

He’s all wrapped up in his coat, his soft brown hair curling out of a fluffy hood, his eyes huge and dark in its shadows and his arms wrapping it around himself like a blanket. Henrik’s discomfort is briefly halted by his ravenous curiosity.

“You are wearing the coat, but are not a seal?”

“Oh, no.” He glances down at himself. “I have to be in living water.”

“How biblical.”

“Is it?”

“Sure. Jeremiah. Zechariah.”

“I just mean moving water, I suppose. We call it living. Salt water, preferably. But I haven’t been in that for a long while.”

“The ocean is so close. You don’t swim?”

The Selkie shakes his head, staring down at the floor, and something hot and aching flashes through his ink eyes. “Not for me.”

Henrik purses his mouth, looking at him. He cuts a miserable image, shaking and wrapped up in his furs, his face red and scared, but damn if he doesn’t look sweet too. Henrik sighs and reaches out a hand.

“Let me take you to my friends,” he says. “They’ll be able to help.”

The Selkie looks up in astonishment, mouth parting. Tentatively, he reaches out and wraps his fingers around Henrik’s. The touch seems to soothe him, though his eyes water.

“Really?”

“Yes, of course. We’ll figure this out together, alright?”

“Wow,” croaks the Selkie, his voice breaking. “You’re so nice. Wow. I’m lucky it was someone like you, Doctor.”

The raw admiration makes Henrik fumble with his keys as he locks the door to the clinic behind him, pulling the Selkie along with him.

“It’s Schneep,” he says, leading him towards the bus stop.

“What?”

“My name. Everyone calls me Schneep. Henrik if you really want to get my attention.”

The Selkie stares across at him, turning the name over in his head. “Henrik... wow.”

“Please, don’t sound so in awe of me. This is terribly strange.”

“I’m sorry this is happening,” says the Selkie, turning away again. The moonlight makes his coat glow sleek and shining in the night. “Guess in the storybooks I’m meant to be a girl anyway.”

“I’m not much interested either way, thank you. What’s your name?”

His pale mouth parts. His dark eyes flicker. He stares out at the asphalt, gripping Henrik’s hand tightly in his own.

“Just call me Chase,” he says. “The rest doesn’t much matter.”

They wait for the bus in silence, questions waiting in the air between them. When they get on the bus, Chase puts his head down on Henrik’s shoulder, and Henrik does not stop him.

.

That’s all for now but I’ll write more if I feel like it :) basically this turned into an introduction for how they met. The rest of the story would be Chase and Henrik both getting along really well and Henrik protecting him and taking care of him while he’s in this sort of dazed state. Ultimately, Stacy would tell them the attraction was supposed to wear off days ago. That makes Chase realize that he isn’t romantically attracted to Henrik anymore - he’s just been really lonely and feels like he’s part of a family again around Henrik and Jackie and Marvin and he didn’t want to leave them. He thought he was just feeling that way because Henrik stole his coat accidentally. Henrik confesses he likes being around Chase a lot too.

[avelera]

A few fun notes I’ve picked up on the Crusades, as would be relevant to Nicky and Joe, courtesy of leaving Great Courses lectures on in the background while doing other stuff (meaning if you’re a huge fan of the history of the Crusades you definitely know more than me):

- Nicolò di Genova could have been one of several, not necessarily mutually exclusive things before embarking on the Crusade - the second son of a wealthy/noble family (it would explain how he could afford the journey and weapons/armor), a poor brigand (one reason the Pope called the Crusades was to redirect European infighting and banditry) and/or a devout Christian who was spiritually moved by Pope Urban II’s call to arms. The devout option does not necessarily preclude either of the previous two possibilities, because the Pope promised total forgiveness of ALL sins (before and during) committed in one’s life and during the Crusades, so those who may have turned to banditry out of desperation but felt guilty for their immortal souls could have also been lured by the promise of spiritual reward, not just material reward.

- I’m going to go out on a limb and say Nicky was part of the Princes’ Crusade in 1096, the official one that Pope Urban wanted and I distinguish because there was a thing called the Peasants Crusade before of people who rose to the call but were, unfortunately, all non-fighting men, peasants, kids, fanatics, etc. and it went... badly. Very badly. The “crusaders” themselves (which means “cross bearers” btw) were pretty awful and killed a lot of innocent people on their way to the Holy land, and then they were wiped out when they got to Turkey anyway, and likely Nicky would be aware of these events (or even saw the piled bodies on his way to Jerusalem, if you want to go for a dramatic scene). 

I’m guessing Nicky was with the Princes’ Crusade because he actually got to the Holy Land AND again, because he’s got armor (according to the comic flashbacks) which was pretty damn expensive. (A Watsonian rationale, the Doylist one is that Rucka was going for the image of foreign knights fighting in full plate and may not have thought out all the class and wealth implications of them having that armor). Oh, and Nicky if he traveled with the Princes’ Crusade in 1096 would have spent some time in Constantinople (November-April) while on his way there. 

- The Crusaders captured Antioch before they made it to Jerusalem. I’m not sure The Old Guard clarifies which battle he and Joe first encountered each other in, it might have been Antioch, but I’m going to say it wasn’t, for several reasons. One, because of the credits that lists 1099, the year after, when Jerusalem fell, which was the last year of the First Crusade. (The other famous crusade, the Second Third Crusade of Orlando Bloom’s “Kingdom of Heaven” fame isn’t for almost 50 years after that.) And further, while it’s possible that Nicky fought Joe in Antioch before the Crusaders even made it to Jerusalem, but the push-pin in the map is also in Jerusalem and it’s where the most famous events of the First Crusade happened (and I’m not sure Rucka would be able to resist), so just from a dramatic standpoint too I think they probably fought in Jerusalem. 

- To just couch it in a scene for a second, the Crusaders seeing Jerusalem for the first time was, by all accounts, breathtaking. It was a profoundly spiritual moment for these people who had taken up arms to fight for their God and traveled for years across strange lands and lost many of their compatriots to the fighting in Antioch as well as starvation/thirst/exhaustion/disease along the way, to reach this holiest of holy sites in the Christian canon. 

- Unfortunately, the sight of Jerusalem might be the last moment of beauty we can expect from the European Crusaders. The accounts of the sack of Jerusalem are horrifying. The Crusaders laid siege to Jerusalem for just over a month, and once inside the gates, they massacred every single person in the city, until blood flowed through the streets.

- (Side note: if Nicky didn’t arrive with the main Crusader force coming over land through Turkey, he probably arrived instead with Genoese merchants who also brought the supplies needed to make the siege engines that broke through the walls, so it is possible Nicky was with them and came by boat, in which case he may feel a different kind of guilt for the atrocities that followed.)

- Having claimed the city, the Crusaders established the Kingdom of Jerusalem which would endure just barely over a hundred years. There would be constant fighting between Seljuks and the Crusaders throughout that century, complicated alliances between the Crusaders and the Seljuk’s rivals, the Fatimid Caliphate. Basically, you’d need to be a scholar or read something by a scholar who understands this much better than me to unwind it all. 

When did Joe and Nicky meet in all of this? Is the Siege of Jerusalem the setting of their first mutual murder of one another? Or did they meet at a later battle? A lot of that is up to the writer, because based on the line about how they’d been taught to hate one another, one could take away that they’d been on either side of the conflict for a while, at least long enough to build up some animosity towards the other side, before they encountered each other. Or, one could take the line to mean that Nicky and Joe met early in the conflict, and had only the hatred they’d been taught driving them to fight. 

Certainly the clash of the Franks, as the Seljuks called them (a word that is still found as a root for “foreigner” in Arabic to this day) or the Saracens, as the Christians called them, was a moment that was not, shall we say, hampered by sympathy on either side. The men of the other army must have been foreign and terrifying to both sides, both saw the other as infidels to the true faith, both had more or less a free pass by their religion and circumstances to not even see the other side as human (but, let’s remember, the Europeans were the invaders and the atrocities they committed are too lengthy and horrifying to go into here). 

If Nicky and Joe had stayed in the Levant throughout the events of the following centuries of Crusades (perhaps together now? perhaps still on opposite sides for some time?) they could have been caught up in a rich and complicated world of the clash of civilizations between Europe and the Middle East, Christianity and Islam, met major historical figures like Richard the Lionheart and Saladin (or, An-Nasir Salah ad-Din Yusuf ibn Ayyub if we’re being accurate) the latter of which is one of the greatest examples of chivalry the world has ever known, to an extent that was hailed even by Europeans (seriously, it’s some Hollywood-level stuff, Saladin is amazing and would be the obvious hero in any historical fiction set during the Second or Third Crusade, I could see Yusuf sticking around just to serve him and Nicky even switching sides to do so, especially compared to the leadership on the European side and bastards like Raynald of Châtillon, but again, for a fun intro to these events watch “Kingdom of Heaven” with a heavy grain of salt). 

A few final notes, before this becomes its own lecture on the Crusades. With regards to homophobia, it might not have been quite as present as many modern readers would assume. And you might be surprised by who would have been more OK with it. 

- On the European side, homosexuality was a sin, sure, but pretty much all non-procreative sexual practices were a sin and it wasn’t as fiercely persecuted in the early 11th century as it would come to be later. This is not to say homosexuality was celebrated, but the punishment you’d receive was basically a civil punishment for being caught, needing to do penance for a few months to a year, not execution or torture or anything like that. 

- And let’s remember throughout history, men have had few limitations enforced on their sex lives as long as they also fulfilled their duties to their families and the Church and that going on Crusade meant all of your sins were wiped away, before, during, and after (which is probably what led to the uninhibited nature of the atrocities committed by the Crusaders and I mean seriously, even the Pope who ordered the Crusades was horrified when he heard what happened). 

So what I’m saying is, even if someone like Nicky was worried about going to Hell for having sex with men (and really, it would not be the #1 sin to be concerned about by any means in those times) he wouldn’t have to worry specifically while on Crusade. He’s in the clear at least as far as his immortal soul goes, though social censure could be another matter (assuming everyone else even cared about social censure too). Actually, it would be funny if Nicky’s generally relaxed demeanor in the modern era around murders and stuff is because as far as he’s concerned, he’s still got that Papal order saying all his sins are cleared because he joined the Crusades, lol. 

- Meanwhile, on Joe’s side, we’re still in a time period that’s called the Islamic Golden Age where social strictures are relatively relaxed compared to what they’ll be at other points in Islamic history (sweeping generalization! please take it as such!) but it’s worth noting that Abu Nuwas, one of the most famous and acclaimed Islamic poets, wrote a ton of love poetry in the 700s and a not inconsiderable portion of that love poetry was devoted to homosexual love. Meaning, yeah, Yusuf wouldn’t just be able to quote poetry at Nicolò, he could quote specifically gay poetry at Nicolò, from one of his culture’s most renowned poets. 

Similar to Europe, if my research is correct, homosexuality was pretty accepted, at least it’s not a high-priority punishable crime for men of privilege during this era the way it would be in some later eras. I don’t want to expound much more on Joe’s side because it’s definitely the one I have less knowledge of and authority to speak about but I will leave you, if you’ve made it this far, with the fact that being two men in love with each other when they met was much less of a serious issue than being two infidels (to the other’s religion) would have been, from a social standpoint.

[the-overgrowth]

Please don't read this ask as combative, I'm just genuinely curious. How do you justify the age difference between Sidra and Val? I know you said Val is technically a teenager/young adult in fae years but isn't that the same justification a lot of immortal/mortal pairings use? (Like Twilight with Edward being "frozen" at 17.) The fact is that Val's lived literally 200+ years more than her and that has to color the experience divide, right? Is there a way authors CAN make these age gaps work?

No worries! I think it’s a good question and gives me an opportunity to clarify some stuff! I should preface this by saying that it’s totally ok if people aren’t comfy with the “young woman paired with ancient magical dude” trope that’s common in fantasy nowadays. It’s not for everyone and that’s fine. I’ve tried to make my take on it more morally palatable, but if it doesn’t work you, then it doesn’t work for you.

Putting this under a cut because it got long, oops.

Val isn’t “frozen,” he literally ages 10 times slower than Sidra, including mentally and emotionally. 50-year-old fae are the equivalent of 5-year-old children. Val being 223 is basically him being in his early twenties, barely mature enough by fae standards to be considered an adult. So while Val has been an adult longer than Sidra has been alive, from her perspective, Val has also been an official “adult” for like, 2-3 years, from his perspective. He also doesn’t see Sidra as being 2 years old, he sees her as being similar to himself in age, as a young adult. In fact, it fucks him up a little that she’s a fully grown person when she’s the same technical “age” as a toddler. The same way it fucks Sidra up that he’s still alive. He can’t wrap his head around how “quick” humans are. To him, growing a mind and a body and a personality takes centuries and she did it in two decades? Weird. Gross.

I should also mention that while yes, technically the sheer amount of stuff he’s seen is more than what Sidra has, the fae also perceive time differently than humans as a result of their immortality. So he doesn’t necessarily retain all of the stuff he’s lived through, or it doesn’t affect him the same way it might affect a young developing human.

However, this is all details compared to what I think is the most important thing in cases like these: framing.

In the case of Twilight, the framing emphasizes how Edward is mature and has been through high school and college multiple times, how he knows and understands more than Bella. His age is written as adding to his power, his allure. He doesn’t consider himself a teenager, and neither do his vampire peers. In every way but physical, he’s an ancient adult. It’s supposed to be intriguing that an older, intelligent and beautiful man would find a plain teenager attractive, and his age is used to reinforce his power and dominance.

If Edward perpetually had the mind of an actual 17-year-old instead of being “physically” 17 and mentally 109 or however old he is, I think Twilight would have the opposite problem of Bella eventually dating a teenager as she grows older unless she turns into a vampire. That’s sort of touched on in the books but it doesn’t go much further beyond “I will be a wrinkly old woman and you’ll be hot forever!” because, again, Edward already had Bella beat in the “life experience” department, and would still have that over her even as she grew older.

In the case of ACOTAR, it’s a similar thing. I don’t recall if it’s ever explained how the fae mature, but I do know that Rhys has been “waiting” for Feyre before she was even born? Like, the mating bond paired him up with a human infant at some point? And he has to wait for her to become an adult before they can boink? Same with Jacob and Renesmee. That’s just straight up magical grooming, fam. These men are adults for an extremely long time while they wait for their younger partner to catch up and become legal, often not even letting her live a life independently before they marry and have babies. These men become their partners’ lives.

In my case, Val’s age is framed against a backdrop of much older fae who patronize, belittle and insult him because he’s a young man poking his fingers into things that he’s too naïve to understand, according to them. This on its own doesn’t automatically solve the age difference, but he’s not framed as having power over Sidra, he’s not considered one of the oldest and most powerful fae, he’s not held up by the narrative as an older man who somehow, against his better judgment, is lusting over someone much younger than him because she’s just so mature and full of life and special. His age isn’t held up as a mark of experience and maturity and power. It’s just a thing that marks him as different from Sidra, on a magical worldbuilding level.

The younger party is also important. Are they inexperienced and naïve? Are they a young sheltered teenager, only now entering their first ever romantic/sexual relationship? Are they entering this relationship without any prior knowledge of who they are and what they want from life and a relationship with this person? Is this adult their first and only entry point to adult life in general? (Not saying you need to have multiple partners before you can find “The One” or anything, but having a frame of reference and knowing what you want out of life and the relationship is important IMO.)

Sidra doesn’t see Val as superior to her, she doesn’t think he’s above her and that she doesn’t “deserve him” or that he’s too good and cool for her, that she’s somehow not enough because she’s younger. She sees him as an equal, which makes any attempt at pulling the age/experience card pretty meaningless, because she doesn’t believe he knows what’s best in any given situation just because of his age. She doesn’t see him as an authority on most things and doesn’t consider herself below him in most things, either. She has already built a solid understanding of who she is and what she wants (or doesn’t want, at least). One of the first things that happens in the book is her rejecting a man because she realizes that she doesn’t want for herself what he wants for her.

And while yes, Val does eventually become a large part of her life and helps her figure out what she wants and needs and what she wants to become, she does the same thing for him. He isn’t a jaded old man taken with a pretty young thing who brings light back into his life or some other cishet-white-man nonsense, he’s young and stupid too and she helps him realize what he wants and who he wants to be. And they don’t do this on purpose to each other, it just happens through their interactions. Even if it were one-sided Val simply doesn’t have the maturity and experience to essentially “groom” Sidra into anything. Plus, they don’t get married and have children at the end (spoilers, I guess). They’re not bound to each other the same way many YA fantasy books often “bind” their young protags to their much older love interests (mating bonds, marriage, kids etc). Sidra still has the choice and ability to leave him whenever she likes and she’s fully aware of it.

That being said, my solution isn’t perfect and tbh I don’t think there is one? But this is fantasy, mortal-immortal pairings will always have weird dynamics because they’re not real and everyone makes up their own reference for how they should or shouldn’t work. Things like these will be subjective, and as long as the characters involved are adults, are making informed decisions and don’t have significant power imbalances because of their age difference, I think it can work! 

(The target demographic is also very important I think. Impressionable teens shouldn’t read things that make adult men attractive or desirable. My target demographic is a bit older than that and I hope most of my future readers will have enough sense and independent thinking to know not to imitate fiction. Plus, again, I’m not playing on or emphasizing the typical age gap power dynamic.)

Hope this answered your question!

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ohh angsty Camille headcanon, Camille hated it when Magnus danced (cause she sucks) so she slowly belittled him and made fun of him for it till he lost passion for it and just Magnus healing and finding his love for dancing again, maybe with the help of his family and Alec and just him doing goofy little dances in the kitchen, obviously the trauma will still be there but just him being happy and dancing

ok tw for abuse and racist/queerphobic rethoric

love the "cause she sucks" it's the best and most correct assessment of camille's reasoning for anything. really tho yeah i have the hc that as the Shitty Straight Girl™ that she is, she was probably all up magnus' ass for being gnc, and that probably included how he dance

not all kinds of dances obviously because when they met men dancing, particularly waltz, was still a somewhat desirable skill. but basically she thought that he should waltz and that's it. and there's of course always that sweet racism laced in since dancing is important in- well, any culture, including the javanese. so of course she deeply despises how much it means to magnus, even when he's not doing traditional dances, because you know. do you want to look like a savage? and other fun stuff to hear

even with the waltz she'd get all over his ass too like only respectable slow proper dancing allowed, no dips, no dramatics, no nothing. you are such an attention seeker. what the hell do you need all those eyes on you for?

so yeah slowly he stopped to dance, at least when he wasn't completely 100% alone, because it was just. not worth it, and he started to feel bad about it, and it just sucked

obviously that started to change with dot, who loves to dance and particularly enjoys dancing in fun, dramatic ways, as we've seen in their dancing scenes together. i also like to think that raphael dances, because like, come on. stoic vampire or not (and that is mostly a defensive facade he puts up anyway), dancing is important. there's no way that raphael didn't use to dance a lot in méxico, and then in the US with his sister, and you can't tell me that it isn't a way for him to feel closer to his family and culture, especially after he could no longer eat. fuck you

so like raphael teaching magnus his own traditional dances and the two of them clapping and trying out a few steps here and there? and it's a little awkward as they're both hesitant because raphael can't control his body very well yet and he feels a little stupid and magnus is dealing with, well, his baggage. but they still try and end up smiling, at the very least? yes. and magnus hadn't even realized how much he missed it until he started doing it again

and then he had his thing with dot and she enjoyed dancing so soon he was dancing with her, too. and it was fun and crazy and everything he loved and missed, jumping on couches, throwing pillows out of the way, you know? that whole mess. and laughing and kissing by the time it was over, and feeling so much better and like he could burst and embrace the whole world? yes

but also he always ended up pulling away and kind of pretending it didn't happen because the whole thing felt so vulnerable and magnus wasn't ready for that, and he still kept it to closed doors. you know? and maybe a part of him thought that this was a dot thing, that she was different. but slowly he started to dance more, with dot and cat and sometimes raphael, and even roping ragnor in just to embarrass the old man, and overall he feels like it's something he manages to reconnect it. of course, there's also pandemonium, but in there it's different cuz whenever magnus dances he's putting on a show, not letting go

still, this is mostly something that he gets back to doing, one way or another

but then with alec he's hesitant because alec is so... stoic. he clearly hasn't danced a day in his life other than their wedding, it's not very important to him, it's not something he even knows how to do. and a part of magnus fears that he will see it the same way camille did. maybe even that he will see magnus as less of a man, which goes into his fear that alec will leave him for transphobia and etc etc

and just... that dream, man. like magnus really just wants to dance with alec so bad, he's dreaming about it, he wants to be courted and spoiled and then to have some good, goofy dancing. i mean in the dream it was all very suave cuz... well, it was a dream, but their dance wasn't super serious, they were lowkey bantering and goofing around and the dance looked fun, especially the part where they were hand in hand and just moving their feet? that step is called contratempo in portuguese but idk about english

just like...... he wants to have fun impromptu dances and be silly with alec, okay. and maybe be romanced a little bit and dipped. and then dip back, because they're equals and he wants to be able to pull off some dramatics without camille's voice telling him that he's such an attention seeker and keeps throwing her around. he just wants to have fun with him

and it probably first comes up on accident, like.... alec catches him dancing to something..... lmao he's dancing to I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) just for maximum unsubtlety in this narrative. yes i'm bringing up whitney houston again. look there's no way magnus doesn't love her

and alec has no plans of joining in but he smiles at the sight of his goofy boyfriend doing some dramatic dances (dipping himself because he can magically keep his balance, generally being happy and silly) and magnus kinda stops and is embarrassed and alec is like "no, don't stop, wtf" and magnus is like uh. and alec is like "it looked like you were having fun" and magnus is like "well, care to join, then?" and alec is like....... you know what, okay. because he's curious, and alec likes learning new things, especially things he would have probably grimaced at when he was trying oh so desperately to be the perfect shadowhunter

and it's very different from what it was with dot because dot was a good dancer, and there's no way alec doesn't suck. but it's fun in its own way, trying to get alec to learn the steps and alec just making a mess of himself with his huge limbs and taking the whole thing way too seriously and concentrating super hard on emulating the movements perfectly? the complete lack of ginga, man. i'm losing it a little bit

but it's what makes it fun because alec is trying and magnus can't keep a straight face and he's laughing nonstop. and alec gets competitive and mock offended like "how dare you" and of course he greatly enjoys dipping magnus (i feel like not so much being dipped, especially initially, because he already feels like he doesn't have a lot of control, but also he'll do it for magnus) and it's just silly and lighthearted? aaaa

and of course moments of him dancing with his family :') just him and the immortal squad and alec and maia and meliorn and simon because i said so and also polycule rights???? and just aaaaa having fun and everyone roasting the shit out of alec and ragnor and magnus is so happy and home :)))

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

The Girl in The Blue Dress

Chapter 13: The Castle

@megatraven time for Apollo and Rose againnn >:). Hopefully you like it. Not too much proofreading whoops so sorry if there’s something wrong-

Apollo was the way he always is when Rose dies.

Heartbroken.

He was sad and lonely and afraid. Every time she died he feared she would not come back, and one part of him hated himself for fearing that. He should want her to move on. But there’s a part inside of him that doesn’t want her to, that wants her to keep coming to be with him, to keep being selfish, and to maybe find a way to stop this and make her immortal. It all sounds impossible to himself, yet he still hopes that one day they can be together in peace. 

Because of that, he continued on like he always did. Go back to Earth and be among the humans and hopefully run into her. He always wonders how they run into each other. Maybe it’s a part of the curse? Maybe the Fates are on his side? Is it all just leading up to tragedy? He doesn’t know, but it gives him hope. And he’ll keep on hoping like Rose would.

When Rose died in the war, she was given a hero burial and her burial site is surrounded by flowers and gifts from the kids. It warms his heart when he visits it, but it also brings him sadness. However, he doesn’t let the sadness stop him. He stayed with Melody and comforted her until she passed, and he moved to another kingdom. It seemed peaceful and people were kind to each other. It was a kingdom Rose would love. He stayed here and found a job to help people. He was working with a seller who sold many kinds of items. Some things related to healing, clothing, minerals, trinkets, and other things. He was surprised that a man could have this much stuff in one shop. However, he enjoyed the job and would stay until he found her or stay until he felt the need to leave. Whichever came first.

However, one day the man came up to him and held a ticket in his hand. It looked like an invitation and, when he read it, it was. It was an invite to the castle for a celebration of allying with another kingdom. He never had been to the castle and was interested in it, and was going to ask the man if he could go, but the man was one step ahead of him. He laughed at Apollo and told him to go.

“I’m too old! You go and have fun!”

Apollo smiled a little sad like at the man. He was only 50 and Apollo’s not sure how long humans usually live. Especially with sickness and the murder that’s happening everywhere. The man even gave him a nice suit to wear and Apollo tried to decline since it seemed precious to the man, but he insisted. Apollo changed into it and he did look pretty nice. And when the night finally came, he went up to the castle and ended up on a path surrounded by a bunch of people. Many wore dresses of such high quality, some wore simple clothes, yet everyone looked so fancy. It was all beautiful to him, but something else caught his eye. This path was on the way into the castle and he saw a person sitting on the edge of one of the balconies. It was crowded by flowers, so he almost missed them, but he saw them and noticed that they’re wearing a black hood but he couldn’t see what else they were wearing. The person waved at him and he waved back. He didn’t know what to make of the person, so he ignored it and focused on the people around him.

Many had masks on and they were all creepy. “Maybe there is a reason I haven’t gone here,” Apollo whispered to himself. However, he didn’t whisper it low enough because a woman tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and saw her mask first. He saw a white mask that only covered the upper face area and it had orange designs on it. Foxes, orange and brown leaves, and other orange things related to nature were on the mask and it was really pretty. “They do wear weird masks, don’t they?” He could hear a laughing tone. “Yeah, it is pretty weird. But that’s to be expected since it’s my first time.” The woman let out a hum. “It’s your first time? That’s a surprise. Almost everyone has at least visited the castle once. It’s a little dangerous your first time.”

Apollo looked at her confused and she let out a quiet laugh. “Dear boy, this celebration may be a celebration to some, but to others? It’s a game.” The woman seemed angry when she finished her sentence and it only added to Apollos confusion. “A game? Like they meet together?” The woman let out another laugh, but this time it was sad like. “No, my dear. This game is deadly and dangerous. It’s always a risk coming to the castle when anything is held. It’d be a miracle if everyone made it out alive.” Apollo nodded and felt anxiety rise in his chest. Was that person dangerous? But he couldn’t think long because they ended up in the castle and were in an area where men were taking their coats. The woman had one and he was about to leave without her, but she tugged on his arm for him to stay. “Boy if you know what’s good for you you’ll stay with me.” Now his anxiety was real high. Was she going to hurt him? Hurt others? He didn’t know but did as she said and let her pull him to a set of stairs. They went up and were in front of two doors, but she only stood there with him. 

“Let me explain something, boy. Like I said before, this game is dangerous and deadly. You’re lucky if you make it out unscathed or even not knowing anything took place, so I’m going to teach you how to win,” the woman said with a sad yet angry tone. “Why help me?” Apollo asked with his anxiety resting in his stomach. “I lost someone to this game before, and I’m not going to let someone innocent die. At least not if I can help it,” the woman said with her voice choking up. Apollo felt the need to hug her or comfort her, but she put up her hand motioning for him to be silent. “No need for comfort. I’ve gotten past it. But the rules are simple. Don’t tell people your real name, don’t take off your mask for long, don’t get too friendly with many people here, and always watch your back.” The woman pulled out a mask that was black and offered it to him. He took the mask and put it on carefully. It only covered the upper half of his face, but his eyes were visible through the eye holes and it matched with his gold eyes.

“Okay. Thanks for the information,” he said with a smile. The woman smiled back and held out her hand. “My name is Jane,” she said with a sudden high and polite tone. Her normal voice wasn’t deep per say, but it wasn’t a high girly voice like it is now, but he smiled and shook her hand. “My name is Andy.” The woman nods at him and walks past him but when she’s at his side she leans in and whispers, “Good luck.” She then patted his shoulder and left to go join the party. He lets out a sigh when she’s gone and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Boy this is gonna be rough.” After getting himself together and ready to face everything, he headed to the ballroom and stood at the top of the stairs leading to the dance floor. Most people were already drunk, some in the corner making out way too much, some about to start a fight, and some dancing peacefully. “This is certainly a weird crowd.” Another woman came up beside him suddenly and said, “Why yes it is. I’m assuming you’re new?” He looked over to the woman and this time she was wearing a purple mask and her blonde hair, and short, gold dress making her basically shine. Apollo stuttered for an answer, remembering not to reveal much about himself. “No, not really. It just always surprises me how insane some people are when the drinks come out.” The woman laughed at him and looked at the couples dancing. “Yes, some people become beasts when they lose their senses, it’s wild, but also fun,” she said with a wicked smile.

Apollo felt a little anxious around her suddenly but nodded in response. The woman was about to say something else but was interrupted when a waiter came by with drinks on a tray. “Would you like a beverage?” The woman smiled and grabbed two and gave one to Apollo. He watched her grab them and didn’t see her slip anything in them, so it has to be fine. They clink their glasses together and both take a sip. It goes down his throat like alcohol always does, but it tastes a little more fruity. “Well, I’ll see you around,” the woman said as she scurried off. Apollo sighed and now he’s worried he got poisoned. He’ll just have to find out and see.

After a few minutes of people walking up to him and speaking to him, a bell was rung and it was the signal of king and queen coming to the celebration. He heard one toll and watched as people went to a corner and were completely silent and some people run in the room. He stayed where he was and was almost alone and staring at the people and watching how they seemed anxious now that the rulers were coming, yet some seemed excited. He didn’t know how to feel, so he kept his face neutral.

However, he didn’t realize another woman was standing next to him and staring at the crowd as well. He only noticed her when she tapped him on the shoulder and smiled at him. “Hello, sir.” The woman was wearing a golden mask, had brown hair that went to her mid back and was curly, and she had a blue slit dress on that went to her ankles, it had a V shape on the front that went to her chest and showed off some cleavage, and everything seemed to shine in the lights. Out of his peripheral vision he saw many people looking at her, some with fear and some with interest. “H-Hello, ma’am,” he said in response. She must’ve been important if she got several peoples attention, so he tried to keep his cool.

“Why look so nervous? It’s just a celebration!” The woman was happy and smiled a smile that looked genuine, but was it real? “Yes it is just a celebration. The castle just gives me a little anxiety. Too many people,” he finished his words with a little laugh and she let out a giggle as well. “I understand that feeling. But it is my job to be here. It’s why I have this gold mask.” She tapped her mask that was just like his (only a different color). “What is your job?” Apollo’s curiosity got the best of him and he was excited to learn as much as he could about these people. This might be his last time coming here. The woman smiled and winked at him. “You’ll find out soon enough.” She stared at him and he had time to look at her eyes. They were a bright blue and look like the ocean and he found himself drowning in them. However, the woman sighed and ran her hands down her hair to make it look more presentable, even if it already was perfect.

“Well, I got to go, don’t want to keep the people waiting!” The woman walked away, her hips swaying and grabbing the attention of many men and women. She walked to a set of stairs and disappeared out of his vision, and several others followed her. The only thing that was strange was that they all had golden masks, and it was only them that did. His eyes scanned the room and noticed that everyone had every other color except gold or any yellow color. He stored that information in the back of his mind and just watched the crowd continue with their wild life as the bells continued to ring. When the third bell rung, the doors started to close and a man in a nice suit came out and stood in front of the king and queen thrones with a paper in his hand. He announced the king and queen and they walked out hand in hand. 

“Aw,” Apollo said. The king and queen seemed in their sixties and they were smiling at each other. He then remembered that it could be fake, but he liked to imagine they genuinely love each other, it made his heart happy. However, Apollo saw other people come out. There were thrones next to their thrones and he saw three men and three women come out. The men and women looked normal, but he caught sight of the woman he was talking to. She looked even more beautiful under the lights and seemed to shine next to the golden thrones. The men and women bowed to the king before they sat at their thrones, and they all appeared happy, and it seemed false. The only people that seemed truly happy were the woman he was talking to and a man that sat next to her. However, they immediately turned their attention back to the crowd of people suddenly all standing very closely to every side of the banisters above the dance floor. 

The King and Queen introduced themselves and everyone bowed in respect and everyone bowed when the people next to them were introduced, but Apollo went stiff when he heard a name being called out. The man was talking about one woman and he heard, “And the lovely and talented Miss Rose is present today. She will be the opening act tonight.” Opening act? What dance was this? Was this actually Rose? He didn’t have enough time with her to actually tell, so he decided to try and find her at the end of the night. Everyone clapped as Rose stood up and walked down the stairs to end up in front of the dance floor. She cleared her throat and looked at everyone and smiled. The smile was bright and she seemed excited to be here.

“Welcome ladies and gentlemen! How are you all doing tonight?” Everyone laughed or cheered at her and she put a finger on her lips. “Alright, alright, settle down my people. It is exciting isn’t it?” The people once again cheered and clapped loud and she shook her head with a smile, accepting that it was impossible to make them be truly quiet. “Well, I hope you’re all ready to have a lovely dance with your partners tonight.” Rose then cleared her throat as many people rushed down to the dance floor, holding hands with their partners. Everyone had smiles on their face and so did Rose. He wanted to join in but didn’t have a partner to dance with, and he really did not want to dance with a stranger, so he decided to just stand and watch as many people danced their heart out. However, it wasn’t silent because he soon heard Rose’s voice echo out into the ballroom. She was singing some classical song he didn’t know the name of, but it was mesmerizing. She hit the right high notes, made her voice low when it needed to be, held each word the right amount of time, and made everyone fall in love with her voice. He stared at her and couldn’t look away, and her eyes roamed the room and eventually met his. She smiled as she sang and winked at him, causing him to blush. He thanks the other Gods that no one else is around to see him. 

Rose sang 5 songs and many people began to grow tired, especially her. When she finished that last song, she looked up at the King and he nodded at her. He assumes it means that she’s done and that the celebration needs to come to a close. She cleared her throat loud enough for everyone to hear, even scaring a few people who weren’t paying attention. “Well, my people, it seems our night needs to come to a close! I hope you all had a good night and get home safe.” Rose bowed at everyone and went back up the stairs and left along with everyone else on the thrones. Apollo then decided to somehow find Rose and do something. He didn’t really think of a full plan, and he’ll figure out what to do once he meets her. That’s the Apollo way. He looks around the areas where everyone is and doesn’t see her anywhere, but he continues to look. He eventually ends up to where he met Jane and comes to those two doors. He wants to open them but when he tries to move, he finds himself suddenly falling to his knees. He feels like its hard to breathe, he suddenly begins to cough hard, and his vision is slowly going black. 

“Fuck, that woman poisoned me. But how?” His God voice starts slipping out due to his panic, and his mind is confused. He watched the woman grab the drinks, she didn’t slip anything in them, so how could she have poisoned him? He breaks out of his thoughts when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks over and sees the woman he was looking for: Rose.

“Are you okay, sir?!” He knows many people had shown fake concern and kindness, but she showed it with no hesitation. “I don’t know,” he managed to choke out. She nodded at him with determination and managed to pick him up with one arm slung over her shoulder and she holding him up. “Stay with me, sir, I’ll get you help!” He listened to her voice and tried to stay awake, but his eyes felt heavy and her voice was...so nice...and pretty to listen to... Despite his best effort to stay awake, his eyes closed and he slipped off in to the darkness. The next time he awoke, he felt hardwood beneath him and when he opened his eyes he saw the bright, blue sky. It was beautiful to him and he felt the cool wind blow against his face. Then he looked to his side and his heart jumped out of his chest. He saw a hooded figure, probably the same figure he saw at the castle the night before.

“Hello, sir!”

.

.

Hehe that’s all for now :)). I was going to make it longer but I think this is a nice cliffhanger >:). And sorry for literally all the terrible descriptions of everything. Describing things are so hard and HNNG!! Words are tough and I hope you like this chapter. I’m excited to write this timeline because oof there is developmennnttt. 

[fromtheringapron]

WWE WrestleMania XXVI

Date: March 28, 2010.

Location: University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona. 

Attendance: 72,219.

Commentary: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker. 

Results:

1. WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match: ShoMiz (The Miz and Big Show) (champions) defeated R-Truth and John Morrison 

2. Triple Threat Match: Randy Orton defeated Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr. 

3. Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Jack Swagger defeated Christian, Drew McIntyre, Dolph Ziggler, Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston, Kane, Montel Vontavious Porter, Matt Hardy, and Shelton Benjamin. 

4. Triple H defeated Sheamus. 

5. Rey Mysterio defeated CM Punk (with Serena and Luke Gallows).

6. No Holds Barred Lumberjack Match: Bret Hart defeated Vince McMahon. Bruce Hart was the special guest referee.

7. WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Jericho (champion) defeated Edge. 

8. Layla, Alicia Fox, Maryse, Michelle McCool, and Vickie Guerrero defeated Kelly Kelly, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Gail Kim, and Eve Torres. 

9. WWE Championship Match: John Cena defeated Batista (champion) to win the title. 

10. No Disqualification Career vs. Streak Match: The Undertaker defeated Shawn Michaels. Per stipulation, Michaels retired.

My Review

WreslteMania XXVI is a difficult show to sum up. It’s a pretty good WrestleMania, but also one that happens to be all over the place in tone and focus. Perhaps its reflective of how indeterminate the future of the WWE felt at the start of the 2010s. The roster was such a mishmash of eras that you’d be forgiven of not having a clue where the hell the company was going. John Cena, Batista, and Randy Orton were at the top of the card after their rise to superstardom in the 2000s, but the spotlight was still shared guys who rose to stardom in the ‘90s like Triple H and The Undertaker. Then there was a new generation of talent—The Miz, Sheamus, Drew McIntyre, etc. — bubbling in the undercard who seemed poised to rocket into the top at any moment. But wait! Time was also given to  . . . the 13-year-old feud between Bret Hart and Vince McMahon?!? Suffice to say, with the show splintering off in so many different directions, it’s not surprising it has some misfires.

Let’s start with the good stuff, though. The main event between Undertaker and Shawn Michaels is fantastic and I’m gonna throw it out there that I like it more than their match from the previous year. The stakes feel higher, the suspense level feels higher, and there’s more of a story here than just Shawn needing to beat Taker. He puts his entire career is on the line here, for heaven’s sake! And speaking of his career, like many at the time, I didn’t have a clue this would be Shawn’s last match. Most on-screen wrestling retirements are never legit, so there was plenty of basis to believe this one would be no different. But alas, this one was different, and we get about as good a sendoff as we could’ve gotten for someone who’s been dubbed Mr. WrestleMania.

On another show, the WWE title match between John Cena and Batista would’ve been the main event. Their match here is great fun. It’s actually an end of an era for the two men who were crowned as the leaders of the next generation at WrestleMania five years earlier. Batista would move on to Hollywood shortly after this and, while certainly not his last WWE run, it would mark the end of his career as a full-timer. Interestingly enough, Batista was really coming into his own as a heel at the time of his departure, even winning over fans who previously couldn’t stand him. He would resurrect his heel run in 2014 and 2019, again only for a short spell. A shame we haven’t been able to spend much time with arrogant heel ‘Tista and his impeccable designer fashion, but then I guess that’s what makes it so special.

As for what doesn’t work, I probably don’t need to go into much detail about the Bret/McMahon clash. The basics of the story are solid — Bret gets his long-awaited revenge on McMahon, with his family right by his side. It’s just not super fun to watch in execution, however well-meaning it may be. They match is dragged out much longer than it should and it takes the crowd completely out of it. Another misfire is the Money in the Bank match. This would be the final iteration of the match at WrestleMania before it becomes its own pay-per-view. It’s clear the concept needs some rejuvenation by this point as it’s now a lazy, bloated affair where everyone gets in their allotted number of spots and there are way too many participants. To cap it all off, the ill-advised decision is made to push Jack Swagger into the main event scene, an idea which would run out of gas in a matter of months.

The show seems to have some weird pacing issues as well. In the era of the Network, I’ve grown so accustom to Manias being stretched to the point of exhaustion, so it’s always little odd to go back and watch one that feels like it doesn’t have enough time. It’s almost like it’s struggling to figure out how spread out time across a card so stacked. The tag opener and Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk feel like abridged versions of the matches we would’ve otherwise gotten, while Bret vs. McMahon gets more time than either combined. Even Money in the Bank feels somewhat rushed. I’m definitely not a huge fan of WrestleMania becoming a seven-hour event, and WWE has proven they struggle with time management on longer Manias, but this is one show where it seems an extra hour absolutely would’ve been to its benefit.

At its best, WrestleMania XXVI is a nice sampler plate of eras, even if struggles to give you equal portions for all of them. The multi-generational makeup of the card ensures there’s a little something for everyone and even closes the books on a couple of legendary careers. You’re bound to dislike some it but for better or worse, and this is a cheeseball thing to say, it definitely puts the “showcase” in the Showcase of the Immortals.

My Random Notes

No joke, I really did not think this would be it for HBK and even seriously thought Taker’s streak was in jeopardy. Am I a fool for thinking that? Maybe, but I like that wrestling conned into believing it in a way it hardly ever does anymore.

I feel like the temple entrance set is something that should’ve been more impressive than it is in actuality. They just stacked LED screens on top of each other and just rolled with it. It looks like something from Minecraft.

Ah, this show reinvigorates my fond feelings for Matt Striker. Such a handsome chap! Not surprising at all he would appear on a Bachelor ripoff a whole decade later.

I chuckled at Bruce Hart being the special guest referee for Bret vs. McMahon. You just know he huffed and puffed his way into that one, much to Bret’s annoyance.

I also chuckled at Diana Hart-Smith walking down to the ring with her best “evil, vindictive femme fatale on the cover of a pulp novel” look. God bless her. She needs to write another book.

I know Rey singing Happy Birthday to his daughter is meant to be a heart-warming thing but if I were a kid in the same situation, I would be traumatized. Just think of how uncomfortable it is when a room full of people is signing at you and then think of enduring that in an arena filled with thousands of people. CM Punk did her a huge favor by crashing the moment, as far as I’m concerned.

Not saying anything new here, but the whole Spear thing with Edge is cringe as hell and it’s for the best that it’s been forgotten in the annals of his career.

I know some people like to mock Vickie Guerrero doing Eddie’s frog splash, but I personally thought it was a sweet moment while staying true to comedically heel Vickie.

The official theme song to this Mania is “I Made It” by Kevin Rudolf. A time-period appropriate choice, I must say. I feel like the dawn of the 2010s is the only time a Kevin Rudolf could be a success.

I identify myself as someone who will always be more embarrassed by John Cena haters than Cena himself and I gotta say him posing next to the guys in the front row hating his guts is fucking hilarious. Cena is funny sometimes when he just straight-up trolls.

On the Legacy fallout: The storytelling for this was weird as hell. Am I the only who remembers that one time on Raw where they teased Ted turning face and the crowd was actually kinda into it? Then they completely abandoned it for whatever reason and just had Randy be the breakout face (as if he needed it) and dunk on both Cody and Ted at WrestleMania. I feel like Cody’s AEW origin story more or less began here.

Awwwwe, this show has little baby Drew McIntyre. It’s so interesting watching this with the benefit of hindsight. I remember a lot of people Not Feeling It when he was anointed as the Chose One, and truthfully I wasn’t feeling it at the time either, but watching it back really makes you appreciate how much hard work he put in to get to where he’d be a decade later. A lot of folks were dreading the inevitable Drew world title run in 2010. The title run did happen, but it was much later and much more welcome than anyone back than anyone could’ve imagined.