#basic ass take like no shit bruh

[snowberryangel]

they nerfed slade wilson so hard by making him a pedo like bro 💀

[hoshifighting]

Hello! I love your work 🥹 I hope you are well

Just wanna ask your thoughts on how the seventeen members would react to see you driving speed / you being fast on connected apps like ‘Find My’ heheheeheh

Thank you ❤️

a/n: thank u sweetie, i loved it!! im doing well!! <33 i hope i understood well.. like a gearhead girlfriend?... made w/ luv ❤️

WARNINGS: mentions of breakig the speed limit

seungcheol: “yo yo yo, slow the fuck down, we ain’t tryna die today!!” he’s literally shouting through the app, and you could almost see him gripping the imaginary 'oh shit' handle in the backseat. he loves you, but he’s lowkey shitting bricks rn, “bruh, this ain't fast & furious... i swear if we crash, it’s on you.”

jeonghan: sigh “baby, why you gotta be like this?” he’s too cool to actually panic, but you can feel him judging the fuck outta you. he’ll make you feel like the most irresponsible person alive while also making it clear he’s kinda impressed. “next time, let me drive so we don’t both end up with speeding tickets… but like… you kinda look hot doing it though, not gonna lie.” he’s smirking on the other side of the screen.

joshua: “ok but like… are we trying to break a record or what?” he’s nervous but trying to stay calm, but you can tell he’s clutching his pearls behind that smooth tone. “maybe, uh, we could slow down just a tiny bit? just a suggestion...” definitely trying not to freak out completely, but he’s one bad swerve from straight-up praying.

jun’s all for it, honestly. he’s got his phone up to show the speedometer on his end, clearly thriving. “you wanna hit 120? bet, i’m down, let’s fucking go!” jun’s just living it, probably snapping selfies like it’s no big deal while the car’s shaking at 90 mph.

hoshi: “wait—WAIT! y/n, no no NO, what the hell?? slow down before i shit my pants.” he close his eyes, dramatic as fuck, genuinely convinced y’all are about to fly off the highway. nearly crying as he clutches his phone. “i got shit to do tomorrow!! i can’t die today, not like this!”

wonwoo’s just... chillin’. he doesn’t really say much at first. just sends a simple, “you good?” text. he’s the only one calm in this whole situation. when you don’t respond right away, he hits you with, “bet you won’t keep up with the guy in the ferrari tho...” and you’re like, oh shit. he’s egging you on. he's vibing with the chaos, but lowkey wants to see how far you'll take it.

woozi: “y/n, you better chill the fuck out.” straight-up scolding you. no fluff, just pure frustration. jihoon’s too rational for this speed demon shit, and he’s already calculating how much the damn fine’s gonna be if you get caught. “if you crash, you better hope i’m not in the car, ‘cause i ain’t helping your ass.” classic jihoon—pissed, but still kinda impressed at your audacity.

seokmin: “YO, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!” pure panic in his voice,like he’s watching a horror movie. “do you wanna give me a heart attack? holy shit!!” he’s basically pleading with you at this point, full-on hands shaking, worried sick like a damn mother hen. “i’m way too pretty to die like this, please, for the love of god, just slow down.”

mingyu: WELL THIS MAN HAVE LICENSE FOR IT, no fear at all. “you drive like a fucking beast, lemme hop in the car next time.” he’s fully living for the thrill, no reservations whatsoever. he’s gassing you up like no one would. adrenaline junkie.

minghao’s already over it. deadpan as fuck. “why you gotta stress me like this? i’m way too zen for this shit.”

seungkwan: “OKAY STOP! STOP! i didn’t sign up for this kinda trauma. you tryna die young, huh?!” yelling in the app for you to pull over before he passes out from sheer anxiety. “i’m never getting in a car with you ever again, swear on my life.”

vernon: “i mean, if we crash, we crash. kinda sick though, right?” no panic, no complaints, just lowkey impressed. “but like… how fast can you actually go?”

chan: “y/n, this isn’t a fucking video game!” poor baby is stressed out, clenching his fists like his life’s on the line. “i can’t do this. my heart can’t handle this. you tryna give me a heart attack?!” genuinely scared shitless. “you really gotta slow down before i fucking pass out in the toilet bro”

[oukabarsburgblr]

Karasuno is driving me insane

Bro I need freshman m/n to leave these bitches before I beat someone's ass. Like I need the trio to face embarrassment, humiliation, basically I need everyone to find out what they've done to m/n and ruin the trios lives.

I don't give two doggystyle damns bout how they feel, I need m/n to stand up and get tf out the situation he's in, ik it takes a lot of courage n shit to get out of this typa situation but I can't bare seeing m/n being treated like he's a fucking dog.

Anyway I love your works (this one in particular just pisses me off to the moon and back) and I love how you write your shit, keep writing bruh👊

Oh my im so sorry i made you feel this way��� I CANT SEE M/N GETTING A HAPPY ENDING IM SORRY.

All i can picture is (m/n) deadass getting marriage-trapped by daichi💀. Hes like shortly free when they graduated but as soon as he steps out of that high school as an adult you bet daichi is jumping that mf

Idk how to explain why i wrote that kind of fic. I think i like getting chained like a dog???🤞🏼 IDK RAHHH🥩

And thank you! I hope my other fics can ease u?? 👫🏻

(Hint : im planning a gangbang w haikyuu captains con ofc AWOOGA)

[sidsinning]

UNNECESSARY AND UNHINGED RANT ABOUT CINDERELLA'S CHARACTER FROM CINDERELLA (2015) INCOMING

Lemme talk about Cinderella from Cinderella (2015) for a bit actually yeah because these changes to my girl completely baffle me

She has friends now

Goes outside on her own

Says the only reason why she's staying is because it's her parent's house- bruh.

All of this takes away (+ more reasons down the cut) from the true cruelty of OG!Cinderella's backstory and how it all connects so well to inform you of her character and the actions she takes

OG!Cinderella has been indoctrinated into accepting her life as a maid to her step family since she was a small child. She is never seen going outside of the house besides the night at the ball. The only friends she had were random animals around her she couldn't even fully converse with. She had no other human perspective on her situation or how to get out of it. It makes sense why she's just taking her stepmother's tyranny while holding everything in because this isolation and neglect is all she knows. This is the entire limited scope of her world. A sad reality to many cases of abuse in real life.

And they just. Erased all of this for some. Reason???

The night at the ball was a big deal because she literally NEVER gets to go out. This is the only time she interacts with the outside world aside from the ending. The impact of that was HUGE in the original movie. The new one just cheapened that imo by implying she goes out in town and talks to others regularly. This event was an impossible, fantastical dream come true to someone who is never treated as anything but a servant to everyone she knows.

Basically OG!Cinderella has it way worse which is what makes the ball such a huge deal in the first place.

Third point I don't think I need to explain how Cinderella staying in her abusive home bc the house is "hers to love now that her parents are dead" is not a good character change and doesn't make sense. I would understand if her dad was alive and insisting on staying, but he is GONE. It is a building you grew up in sure, but that's all it is. Not something you sacrifice your wellbeing for. So that's a shit reason they didn't need to make up to say why this character is stuck in her abusive household. The isolation and years of gaslighting were enough. (Also showing how much of a frightening presence and manipulative villain Lady Tremaine is.)

And she sure left it quick after getting hitched lol

The Fairy Godmother having the audacity to test Cinderella with that "oh I'm a poor old woman and I want some milk please" nonsense

Not very godmotherly of her in this version. 🥴 The Fairy Godmother appeared in the original to offer pure comfort to Cinderella in a time of desperate need, when this resilient and kind spirit finally reached her breaking point. The dress, slippers, pumpkin carriage, and magic were all given freely as a present to make her feel better at least for one night.

Meanwhile this goofy ass Godmother has the audacity to be like "hey is she gonna be nice or not even though she's crying in tattered, recently destroyed clothing- I need to see that or else she doesn't get the magic juice". Like why did this become a way to test her morality all of a sudden? Why did you need something from her to give up the magic goods?? It's not even a good test she just walked a couple steps and poured some milk in a bowl,,,

Idk man they made their relationship transactional for no reason which taints the original purpose of this scene imo. The original Fairy Godmother already KNEW Cinderella was kind without having to make sure by disguising herself as a rancid old lady. 😭 Weird and unnecessary addition.

Kinda nitpicky here but this film did not at all match the terror of the torn dress scene which really shows you how horrifying and humiliating it was to Cinderella

Comparison

AND THE BIGGEST OFFENDER: THE WAY SHE "ESCAPED".

I NEED TO TAKE A BREATH

BECAUSE LIKE. WHAT WAS THAT.

Original Cinderella, seeing a real chance of escape from her abuse, uses everything in her possession to do so. She's yelling for the mice to get the key, to get Bruno to chase away the cat, running down to meet the prince's attendants to make sure they get the proof of her identity from her- and that moment she oh-so-casually pulled out the second slipper??? SEEING HER STEPMOTHER'S SLACKED JAW??? GAGGED US ALL.

ICONIC

But 2015. Bitch. What is going on. She gets locked up and easily accepts her doom. She just twirls and sings in her prison like a dunce because cINDerELLa wAs aLReADy cONTenT wIth her sMaLL mOMEnts oF hAPPIneSs anD dREamS wItH thE pRinCE.

Just. Gives up.

Not the mice begging her to get up and save herself come on now

The mice have to do their best on their own to push open her window so the prince and his crew hear her on time.

And yeah, all she had to do was open a window.

WHAT. WHY. HOW. WAS THIS??? MORE EMPOWERING???

1950: use your brain to fight to the very end

2015: quit while you're still ahead, or don't try you just gotta dance and sing all pretty then someone will come along and save you

I'm sorry, but for a production that was so critical of the notion of "Cinderella just waited around for a prince to save her"...is that not literally what they changed the ending to?

You wanna talk about lack of agency in princess stories well here you go 😭

You know what's sad about all this in the end is this is still the best recent live action Disney remake imo LOL

Anyways hello if you've made it all the way down here I rest my case

[cas-skz]

Stress Relief

Hongjoong x Fem!reader

| non idol au | friends with benefits to lovers |

He’s been your best friend and fuck buddy for over a year now, but what happens when a box of letters is found.

18+!!! MDNI plz&thnx

Warnings: Alcohol, intoxication, smoking weed bruh, mention of death, petnames (baby girl, sweet boy, good girl, brat, BDSM (dom & little duo, nipple play, spanking, sex toy, pinning), oral (m & f), possessive partners, unprotected sex, creampie, overstimulation, squirting

Requests are open :]

writers note: sometimes I like to challenge myself and see how many rounds and finishes I can work into one story. Idk what my record is but this might be it. Okok lmao byeeee

cas xx

“Do you only visit me when you’re mad?” Hongjoong asked, leaning on the side of the doorframe. His head tilted as he eyed you, hair thrown in a messy bun and a bottle of tequila in hand.

He motioned for you to come in, closing the door behind you as you kicked off your shoes and plopped yourself on his large sofa.

“You’re good for stress relief,” you mumble, twisting the cap from the tequila before taking a long swing.

Hongjoong plopped down next to you, one arm wrapping around your shoulder as he grabbed the bottle, taking a drink himself. “Talk to me Vegas girl.”

You smacked his chest, a smile creeping onto your lips. It was his nickname for you, after having met at his bar’s Halloween party a year before.

“Just stupid work shit. My boss says all my designs suck and I can’t think of anything new, so she’s basically breathing down my neck all day.”

You grabbed the bottle, taking another drink. “Any my mother. I don’t understand why that woman is so eager for me to settle down and have kids.”

“I can help you have a kid”

You hit his chest again, ���shut up” you laughed.

Working in the fashion industry was extremely time consuming, which left no time for real dating. Hongjoong just happened to stick around, growing closer over time. You caught feelings a while ago, but we’re to scared to admit it.

“Why do you think the creative block is happening?”

You sighed heavily, “I have no idea. The last good thing I came up with was after we spent Christmas together.”

A smirk took over Hongjoong’s face, his fingers playing with your hair. “That was a good Christmas.”

One thing you had in common was your hatred for the holiday. So rather than the present giving and fancy food, you two had ordered a bunch of junk, gotten a ton of weed and alcohol. Then spent hours fucking.

The tequila bottle was empty sooner than you wanted it to be, not realizing you had been chatting and venting about life for the past hour.

“Can you walk a straight line?” He teased, heading to his home bar and grabbing a few joints. He motioned for you to follow him to the balcony.

He watched as you tiptoed on a line in the wood, poking your nose with each pointer finger as you did. You were quite tipsy, but always had good balance.

“Yes I can, sir.” You smirk, brushing past him, squealing as he slapped your ass.

Your lungs filled with smoke as your eyes scanned over the city. The lights and sounds echoed, beautiful in its own way.

Hongjoong wrapped his arms around you, his head resting on your shoulder as you brought the joint to his lips.

You stayed like that for a while, silently smoking, relaxing into his arms.

His hand eventually started to sneak up the front of your shirt, his fingers sliding along the trim of your lace bralette before dipping inside. A soft moan escaped your lips as he started to twist and flick your nipple gently.

“Are you gonna be a good girl for me?” He asked, his breath hot against your ear.

“Maybe.”

His free hand slapped down on your ass, stinging the skin under the thing fabric of your leggings. “Cute.”

You rolled your hips into his, feeling his hardening cock through his pants. Giving your was a little wiggle, you hum happily

Hongjoong’s hand left your breast and quickly went to your neck, wrapping easily around it as he pulled your head back to look at him. “Don’t start that.”

“Or what?” You pushed into his crotch again.

You were definitely feeling the effects of the weed and tequila, it brought out your bratty side.

His grip tightened around your throat the smallest bit, “You know the punishment.”

You trailed your finger nails along his arm, watching as goosebumps followed in their path. “Punishment for what? Making your crumble under my touch?”

Hongjoong’s hand slid down your body, resting both his hands on your hips as he pulled your core into his, “Is that what you think?”

You spun in his grasp, placing a hand on his chest, “I don’t think. I know.” You leaned up on your tip toes, placing wet kisses along his jaw line.

Your opposite hand snuck into his pants, grasping his thick cock head, your thumb rubbing gently over the top, using his pre cum as lube.

Hongjoong moaned softly, his body tensed under your touch. You pushed his pants down a bit to expose his firm length, your hand giving him a few pumps before firming your grip a bit. You pulled him along by his cock back into the house.

You freed your grasp and pointed towards the couch, Hongjoong slapped your ass as you walked away and sat himself on the couch. He pulled his pants down a bit more, hand wrapping around his cock as he watched you.

You walked to the stereo system, putting on one of the playlists you made together.

“Oh, my sweet boy.” You smirked, eyeing his hand slowly pumping his length. You slowly took your shirt off, followed by your leggings before crawling onto the coffee table. “Eager aren’t you.”

“Says the one who’s already naked.”

You stopped midway on the table, leaning up and trailing your fingers across the lace strap of the bralette. “I still have this on. Why don’t you get rid of your clothes?”

He quickly stripped off his clothes as you propped yourself on the table, placing both your hands on your thighs as you eyed him.

Hongjoong grabbed you by the back of your head, not hard enough to hurt. He pulled you up to him, a soft whine escaping your lips as he roughly kissed you. “Are you gonna be a good girl now?”

You didn’t answer, instead gave him a little snarky look. He moved you with one hand, bending you over on the couch, your head on the cushion and ass in the air. You looked behind you as Hongjoong stroked his cock a few times before pushing deeply inside you.

He bottomed out and held himself there, his hand slapping down on your ass. You could feel yourself already leaking, walls clenching at the smallest amount of arousal.

You tried to move your hips but his hand slapped down, holding you in place. “You fucking brat.”

“What are you gonna do about it?” You contracted your walls around him, moaning softly. You looked at him with puppy dog eyes, biting your lip, “You can fuck me now or hold your load until my punishment is over.”

Hongjoong’s hips started to move the tiniest bit, his cock poking at your g-spot. His eyes locked with yours, “You want me to fuck your little pussy numb?” He pulled his cock mostly out before slamming it back in, repeating his actions. “Is that what you want baby girl?”

“Please, my sweet boy, please fuck me.”

His hips started to thrust, soft moans joining yours. You watched as his dark expression turned soft, his cock flowing in and out of your entrance. “Hongie…”’ You moaned, your release dripping down your legs.

Hongjoong pulled out quickly, his mouth clapping over your pussy, his tongue lapping and sucking at your clit. He slapped your ass again, making it sting red from the repeated smacks. “Come here.” He pulled you up into a kiss, his hands tangling into your hair.

You moaned into each other as Hongjoong sat on the couch, pulling you into his lap. You quickly lined his cock up with your entrance and slid down, starting to ride him, “You feel so fucking good.” You moaned, hips starting to pick up speed.

His hands reached up to grab your neck again, pulling your head to his as he gave you a sloppy kiss. “You like riding your sweet boys cock, don’t you?” He said against your lips, “That’s your fucking cock isn’t it?”

You smirked, kissing down his chin, up his jawline and sucking gently on his neck. “You’re all mine.” You whispered in his ear, your second climax quickly approaching. His cock firmed, hinting he was close to.

Hongjoong’s arms wrapped around you as your body picked up speed, his hips thrusting with yours. You brought your face back to his, pressing your foreheads together as your body started to shake. “Who’s your favorite little brat?”

Your bodies came to a stop as his cock started to twitch, filling you with his warm cum. “You know you are baby girl.” He kissed your lips softly, sweet tender kisses that made you tingle. “You belong to me.” He said quietly.

His words made you smile. You were both so possessive over each other, yet had no plans or even talked about committing. Things just worked out smoothly without labels. But fuck, you secretly wanted more.

You smiled down at Hongjoong, lifting your self off him, your combined releases dripping under you. “I like the sound of that, but now I have Taylor Swift suck in my head.” You laughed, skipping off to the bathroom.

He followed, using the bathroom after you before you both headed to his bedroom. You climbed onto his large bed, stopping when you spotted a wooden box on the nightstand. “What’s that?” You ask with a tilt of the head.

Hongjoong walked quickly to the other side of the bed and grabbed the box, his face flushing a deep red. “Hongie.” You shot him a ‘seriously’ look, since you two rarely kept secrets from one another.

“Seriously it’s nothing. Just a box.” He was trying to find a place to stash it, you were getting more and more curious.

“You’re being weird. What is it?” You laugh, crawling to the end of the bed where he was, you poked his side. “What are you hiding.”

Hongjoong held it a bit above his head, a small smile pulling at his lips from your tickling. “Stop, it’s stupid. You don’t want to know.” You kept poking and tickling, he backed into the dresser, causing the box to fall to the ground next to him.

You leaned over the bed, starting towards the flipped box.

“No, seriously Y/N, you don’t want to see that.”

When you flipped the box, there was a pile of letters and pictures of the two of you. Hongjoong sighed and sat on the bed, his head hung as you picked up the pile and scooted back.

“What…what is this?” You asked quietly, flipping through the pictures you had taken together over the past year. There were letters, with dates on them.

Hongjoong turned to you, looking shyly through his shaggy hair. “Everything I’ve wanted to say, but couldn’t.”

You flicked through the letters, just reading the dates. There were 12 in total, starting from the Halloween night you met. You swallowed hard, not knowing what to say.

“You can read them if you want.” His voice was shaky with nerves.

You moved to sit next to him, your heart racing as you looked at him. “Do you want me to?” You asked softly

He was quiet for a long moment before answering, “Yeah, I do.”

"Can you read them to me?"

You and Hongjoong went to the top of the bed, resting against the headboard.

He started the first letter.

“I didn’t expect to meet anyone after Haley died, especially someone who could make me smile like an idiot after an hour of knowing them. Dressed like a Vegas show girl, but with eyes that told a million stories. The most captivating smile. It hasn’t been this easy to talk in a long time, but they opened that side up again.”

He handed you the letter, along with a picture the bar photographer had taken of the two of you.

“You have me smiling like a fucking idiot. One night stands aren’t supposed to hang out until the early evening, at least from what I know. Your comfortable, your ora is calming. I feel guilty. Guilty for feeling happy. I don’t want to lose you, so friends will have to do for now.”

He handed you the second letter, you confirmed the date was the end of November, when you first hooked up with him.

Hongjoong spent a few more minutes carefully reading his letters and passing them to you. They all described his feelings towards you, how they grew, how he didn’t want to lose you. It made your heart do flips.

The last letter was from a few weeks ago, New Year’s Eve. He passed it directly to you, since it only had a few words on it.

“Tell her you fucking love her.”

You stared at the paper for a long moment, heart rate starting to increase again. Everything you had been to scared to admit to yourself, he had written on paper. It still scared you, those words. The thought of losing him. But what’s life without taking any risks.

“Look..I get it, if you don’t feel the same way.”

You quickly moved your body to straddle his, pressing your lips deeply into his as tears started to flow down your face. You didn’t want to stop kissing him, the sweet taste of his lips mixing with salty tears.

“Why are you crying?” He asked quietly, barely pulling away from your lips.

You looked into his eyes, “because I love you.” You paused, sniffing as he kissed away your tears. “And it scares the shit out of me.”

Hongjoong wrapped you in a hug, one that you returned happily. You held each other for a while, his hand slowly rubbing your back.

“I love you. I’m not going anywhere, okay?” He said, leaning back against the headboard, brushing some hair behind your ear.

“I’m not going anywhere either.” You smiled, kissing his lips again. “You’re not gonna go all mushy on me now, are you?”

He laughed, holding onto you as he flipped you on your back. “The letters are as mushy as I can get. For now.”

Hongjoong dipped his head down to gently kiss your lips, trailing soft kissed down your body as he pushed your legs apart. His lips kissed your thighs before his tongue started to work at your clit, lapping and sucking at your sensitive bud.

Maybe it was the emotional confession, but you swore everything felt more erotic than any other time.

You ball your hand in his hair, cursing quietly as his tongue worked quickly causing your body to twitch and tremble.

Hongjoong’s arms held your body down as you rode out another high, his eyes meeting with yours as he worked his way back up your body, lips crashing into yours.

His eyes went dark again, a smirk crossing his lips as he unexpected shoved his cock in your swollen entrance. His hand wrapped around your neck again, “You make me so happy baby girl.”

You squirmed a bit under him, his pelvis pushed down to hold your core in place. “My sweet boy, this is torture.” You whimpered, looking at him with puppy dog eyes.

“Exactly.” Hongjoong quickly leaned over to his bedside table, grabbing a small metallic bullet vibrator.

You whined quietly as the small toy started up, his hand slipped from your neck as he used it to lift himself a bit. He moved the toy slowly down your chest to your left nipple, pinching it between a finger and the toy. He repeated his actions with the right nipple.

Hongjoong continued to hold you down as he moved the vibrator down your body, sliding it between your folds and tucking it against your clit.

“Hongie…” you moaned, your breathing becoming more and more erratic as pressure built in your core. Hongjoong moved your arms above your head, hiding his head in your neck as he kept himself still inside you.

He whispered sweet nothings into your ear, nipping at your earlobe. Every little thing was pushing you closer to climax. He brought his lips to yours finally, kissing you sweetly as he laced your fingers together.

“You’re making me cum baby girl.” He moaned against your lips, his cock starting to empty another load inside you.

You could barely contain yourself, body shaking under his as the sound of your own juices mixed with the sound of the vibrator. “Baby….” You squeezed his hands with all your strength, his hips finally letting up a little as yours started to buck.

The vibrator slipped out and you started to grind your hips down quickly, juices leaking as you started to peak again.

“Please fuck me, my sweet boy. I need you to fuck me.”

Hongjoong let go of one of your hands to hold your hip as you arched off the bed, he slammed his cock deep in you as you released, screaming and cursing uncontrollably. His lips found yours again and you started to ride your high.

“Holy shit.” Hongjoong hissed, his own body reacting to your orgasm and joining in. He lifted you, holding you tight against his body as he slowly kissed your lips. You were barely able to hold yourself up, Hongjoong’s arms were the only thing hold you in place.

You weakly wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling dizzy and fulfilled more than ever. “Th-that was so good, my swe-sweet boy.” Your words were stuttered as you rested your head against his chest, trying to bring yourself out of the sex coma he had you in.

“Should I just carry you to the shower like this?

You nod, whining a bit as he climbed off the bed with you still attached. You wrapped your legs around him, moaning quietly at the sensation of his cock inside you, how wet and warm it felt.

“Fuck me again.” You said after finally catching your breath a bit, Hongjoong pulled back a bit, raising an eyebrow at you. “What? 3 loads in you isn’t enough?” He smirked, pecking your lips.

You giggled quietly, a shiver creeping up your spine as you felt his cock grow firm again. He pushed you against the wall, barely thrusting his hips.

“Oh, my sweet boy.” You placed a soft, but deep kiss on his lips. “I’m just starting to feel inspired.”

[fictionalhoedown]

Stanford Pines x Self-Insert

Summary ;; Ford Pines discovers a strange glowing red flower, obviously he brings it back to the shack to bring it underground and study it. But Stanley has other plans, seeing it as a business opportunity, but of course he messes it up

~~~~ (I'm sorry I forgot to use they/them pronouns so this is a Stan x female self insert)~~~~

EdIt;: Im rly sorry if its bad, its been a long while since I wrote fanfic but I love this man to death I need this ;( y'all would tell me if this is shit or not right? pls hlp

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanley's POV

Ford comes barreling in with something glowing red in his hands "the hell is that?" his brother didn't reply, instead he neatly stacked his books and gently places on the diner table a black pot with a large glowing flower.

Similar to a Lily, three long tubes with large pollen balls on each end gently emited small visible spores. I get irritated that he's ignoring me, again, and turn the tv off to lessen the noise "hey dick face!".

He looks at me with the highest form of disrespect, "Can you please tell me what the hell that thing is doing in my living room?" Ford huffed and straightened his glasses.

"techniqly this is my house Stanley. secondly! I don't know! I found it today. But I do know that I need to drive to my lab and retrieve some nessecary equipment items that I think would be beneficial of concealing this thing until I can learn more~"

The nerdy Pine brother looked 'too' excited about this research, "riiiiight, because playing with a flower is scientific?" my brother groans again "god why are you so childish! Just let me be happy about this discovery" I held my hands up in defense.

As he packed somethings up, he takes a step and looks at me very seriously, "listen Stan, I'm gonna be gone a while. Please, do not sell the damn flower in your freak shop. And more importantly. Do. Not. Touch. It."

I look back at the flower, everything about it calling to me to not sell it but cause general mischief for my brother and his nerdy hobbies. "yeah yeah, I promise! Jeez, you really think so low of your own blood?" he rolls his eyes and exits the living room with a sarcastic "yes.".

_______________

Self-Insert's POV

My cold wet hair dripped down my hot skin, I wrapped the towel around my chest, securing it well, then clipping the bottom, for no unnecessary 'drafts' of wind.

I combed my hair back out of my face and misted some perfume on before leaving the bathroom with the intention of going to my room and getting dressed. Until, !CRASH!

Rushing down the stairs with zero regards for slipping on my ass, I make it to the bottom to find Stanley Pines, my dear close friend, face covered in what looked like red spray paint and a broken flower pot with soil on the ground.

"Stan! What the- " I run to his side, holding his face with my hands to inspect the damage. I sprint to the kitchen and get some wet paper towels, trying to gently remove the mystery color from his face.

"Yeah yeah I know, Ford told me not to touch it already. But I didn't techniqly!" As I am dabbing his nose with the wet towel I give him a 'bruh' look. He protests "I'm serious! That damn flower basically farted this stuff in my face!" I laugh at his explanation.

As I finish cleaning the last of the flower spores from his eyes and nose, I notice an unfamiliar heat radiating from him like he was a mobile fireplace. Looking at his face, I see without the spores he is very flushed and red faces, a gentle sweat beginning at his bushy silver brows.

I put my lips to his forehead to feel his temperture, only to be met with an iron skillet burning my face, "Ow! Good Lord, how are you still alive! Your burning like grits with no butter!" I push the hair from his dripping face, to better see, he seems shy and sheepish? Stanley Pines? Shy?

Stanley's POV

I can't handle it, god this was such a mistake, I should have listened to Ford! Her glowing skin was the only thing I could pay attention to, as she spoke it was like how adults speak in cartoons.

When she was cleaning my eyes with the paper towel, I felt her breath, it sent chills through my whole body, like I was a teenager again! Her neck looked so... exposed... My body was turning up the heat like it was thanksgiving day.

I unconsciously trailed my eyes downward, (Self-Insert) continued her health assessment check with me, all my senses got more and more sensative. The TV volume was on low but it sounded like it was wracking inside my skull.

The living room light looked so bright and yellow for my eyes, I thought they were gonna dry away to dust. (Self-Insert)'s smell, fueling me into my lungs and straight to my member, so sweet, like honey and vanilla.

Her touch, as she nervously holds onto my arm for foundation, I can't think about anything else but the electrical storm going on with her beautiful body being pressed up against my old ass having a stroke on the floor in my fucking boxers. Real charming Stanley.

I unknowingly found myself gripping her wrist to bring her closer, hooking my arm around her waist and cupping each hip perversely. "T-Toots-... I can't... think... I don't think I... can even breath right now... but-" looking up deep into her eyes, the tent on me rises high to the sky.

Self-Insert's POV

The elder man aggressively shoved me, falling to my back but not hitting my head, thanks to his hand engulfing the back of my skull. Stanley's arms were firmly planted next to my head, his girtle not present but his very, very large lower half pushing past my legs, nothing but the thin blue and white striped cloth gently laying against my womanhood like a dog sitting on top of the bun.

"I can't explain how much I want- no..." Stanley falls forward, dipping his head to my throat like he's gonna rip it all out, "Need you~" I watch carefully, scared but, weirdly excited? His giant hands engulfing my wrists, the heart violently beating against his palm, "Stan." I say, to try and get his attention.

Suddenly rocking his hips to an imaginary song, he shifted his hands from my wrists to my biceps, pushing his weight on me as both our pre-cum juices covered and soaked his boxers. I couldn't run, the man was 5x larger than me, and I mean, It's not like it doesn't feel good~

Stanley grunted exhastedly, looking like a horny boy humping his pillow. The stubble on his face scratched all over me as he open mouth licked me like a loli-pop and drunkenly sucked hickies from my throat to my collarbones, he kept saying stuff like "I swear. you taste so good.", "I wish I could eat you like cake~", "say my name again, and I think I'll bust".

Gently removing himself from licking my neck, Stan suddenly rips my towel open, my no longer steaming body, hitting the freezing cold ac air of the mystery shack. Not saying a word, a small dripple of saliva dripping from his lip as sweat poured from his face.

His calloused fingers found their way to my chest with no hesitation, picking each bud with his pointer and thumb and rolling them around, my breath hitched as he pulled and let them fall back watching the buds grow stuffer and pinker "pretty, pink, buds" he murmurs.

While he gawked and played with my titties, I open my legs a bit more, adding to the closeness, his shaft firmly pressed to my soaking entrance. Reaching for the elastic of his boxers, I stick my thumbs in, circling around his waist and intending to push them down, feeling his swelled tip bed for attention.

!!EHEM!!-

Stanley's POV

(Self-Insert) sat in my lap as we watched my favorite romantic drama movie, my brother sat at the table next to us, toying with his glowing flower, that surprisingly lived.

Ford gagged once more, like he did for the 100th time, "I fucking hate you Stanley.".

I groan and drop my arm from the air dramatically, "Jesus fucking Christ Ford I already said I was in the wrong and I was sorry. How was I supposed to know it was gonna spit some sexy love juice in my face!" (Self-Insert) chuckled nervously as her face turned beat read again.

"Lets all of us just forget it okay. Please? Ugh~"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I"M SO SORRY THAT WAS BAD- It was rushed and I'm finishing this at one thirty In the morning- AND I ALSO WORK- the lengths I go for horniness...

pls like...

<3

[quasiquack666]

Chapter 321 spoiler stuff I guess

(Screen readers pause now)

1: Bruh Kayden looks shredded to pieces. I can't tell how much I'm delighted anymore by his bruised ass, or if I just feel bad now.

2: Tbh I don't know why they trust Blues around? Blues tried to kill Jiwoo a dozen chapters ago. Sure he probably won't now but??? It's confusing. I would never trust someone like that again around my son.

3: Wow, finally, a more proper Kayden and Jiwoo comfort hug. I felt slightly robbed during their weird side-hug after the Gestella skirmish. More dad-son hugs please.

4: Thanks for all the hair-down Kayden references. I appreciate the contribution to us artists LMAO.

5: "Not much help". Excuse me you bitch, your boyfriends basically saved your ass, you would've died, especially when Gestella only showed up later.

6: "A guy called Andrei". This must be a translation error or something, no way Kayden is actually talking about Andrei as if Jiwoo doesn't know him...

7: "Why aren't you turning back [into a cat]?" What? Kartein don't you already know this? Dude it's the same thing from when Kayden fought Andrei before. One of my fave Kayden scenes, the image of him bloody and bruised and turning to the basement. It's so easy to tell that Kayden is in agony. Kartein even noticed back then that something was up, he just didn't say anything then. Lol nevermind that Kartein does the exact same shit. And it's meh that the writers feel the need to explain this in words, through Kartein's odd question, when they already did so in a much more masterful way before.

8: "Someone lady Gestella has in her heart". Blues my dude, I know you admire her to the point of obsession, but it's okay to realize she's delusional and fell for catfish-level letters. This poor old lady would be doomed on a dating app.

9: BRO we literally got a second scene of Kayden's back as he goes to the basement alone to feel his pain. I thought it would be different this time...

Conclusion: I dunno. Eh. I don't feel much about this chapter. But it was fine enough. I'll take anything that isn't literally traumatic in terms of characterization though. Which is a pretty low bar at this point.

Just to end on a better note, I really do appreciate the hair-down references. Those are great hehe. I need to practice then maybe I'll post something I like.

[dilfsouls]

hihi! I was wondering, would you do headcannons? If no, you can completely ignore this haha! But if yes could you do some platonic Groupchat(or just isaac if you want) x a 5'2 reader? And like how they might act bc of their height? They/them pronouns please! And tysm!

Hiii helloo!! So so sorry for the long wait! i appreciate the request and of course! i love headcanons <33 unfortunately i couldn't think of any headcanons for Yumi :( so i apologize :( but without any further ado!

The GroupChat X Gender-Natural Reader

Height Difference Platonic Headcanons

🎧 IsaacWhy

~ For sure teases you for being shorter than him, he would literally rest his arms on top of your head

~ Would probably push you around playfully which you would join in and soon would just turn into a war until one of you broke something

~ If you guys ever went anywhere and you needed to see but couldn't due to your height he would totally help out by putting you on his shoulders

~ Would then probably scare you by saying hes gonna drop you or fall

~ gives you and Larry piggyback rides

🎧 SoftWilly

~ Wouldn't tease you as much as Isaac But there would be a sprinkle of teasing

~ Similar to Isaac if you were to work out with him you would probably be used as weights for him to pick up for shits and giggle

~ He may rest his head on your head while resting his arms on your shoulder

~ would get forehead shots of you randomly and call you adorable/p

~you would probably be able to talk him into matching costumes/cosplays that have some kind of height difference

🎧 Grunk

~ Best Buds for sure

~ would probably intertwine arms and skip around together

~ Might have a few playful arguments about whos taller if youre really close in height

~ "I'm literally taller than you"

~ " WHAT,, STOP THE CA-"

~ *cut off by laughter*

🎧 BigT

~ much similar to Isaac he would definitely be a tease and play fight with you

~ They would probably team up on you too

~ Definitely would take those weird forehead pics of you and post them up (with permission of course)

~ Would definitely say some corny jokes

~ "hows the weather down there?"

~ "pretty nice, hows the weather up there hm?"

~ sometimes might pick you up and cradle you

~ if yall were to go grocery shopping he wouldn't mind pushing you around if you were to jump in the shopping cart, if anything he might accidentally crash while youre in the cart

🎧 LarryCroft

~ literally not that different from each others height so if he teased you it literally just sticks back to him

~ "imagine being short💀"

~ ".. we're basically the same height"

~ "bruh"

~ short royalties 🙏‼️

~ Back to Softwilly, you guys could both be used as his weights

~Larry on Nicks left arm and you on his right 💀

~then would probably proceeded to maybe bust ur ass

~ If yall ever played Hide and Seek with the GroupChat for fun you guys would probably accidentally pick the same place because its somewhere only you guys could fit due to your guys height

[an1meslvt]

|attitude|

tag: toxic!shuriri x blackfemreader

warnings: smut, smut, smut! (18+)toxic relationship themes, a bit of angst, dom!shuri, dom!switch! riri, sub!reader, bdsm themes, fluff at the end :)

translations: xhosa: kuqhubekani-what’s going on, thatha yonke into endikunika yona-take everything i give you. sthandwa-my love, usana-baby, ewe-yes

summary: you’re fed up with how shuri and riri have been in the lab, and giving less and less attention everyday…but it gets resolved. :)

you laid comfortably in the bed you shared with riri and shuri. they were down at the lab (as always) and you were quite bored honestly. ever since this big project came up, they’ve been distant due to the constant need to tweak what they’ve already worked on. now you being the considerate girlfriend you are, you completely understood that they needed to work and honestly it didn’t really bother you….at first that is.

you knew they wouldn’t always be around since shuri is a well know scientist and the queen of wakanda, and riri was her right hand man on missions and projects, but got damn! you didn’t think you would feel basically like a damn child waiting for their parents to give them attention(cuz that’s literally how you felt.)

as you thought about it more, the more annoyed you got. and to make matters worse, they haven’t been home in almost a damn week(except to shower and change, and sometimes barely that.) “bruh this shit so unfair.” you mumbled, getting up from the bed to go into the kitchen. you aggressively took out the items you needed to make dinner.

as if the universe could have the worst possible timing, riri and shuri walked in the door with wide smiles on their faces (that soon dropped when they saw how mad you clearly were.) “woah, ma! what’s wrong?” riri’s voice was slightly raised as she addressed you. “yea y/n, kuqhubekani?” shuri asked.

angrily, you threw a bowl in the sink, causing the two to jump. “how could you ask a dumb ass question like that? what’s wrong is how yall been in that mfin lab for a whole damn week! what about me?!! huh?! i need attention too!.” you yelled. shuri and riri both scrunched their faces up at your yelling.

“ok first of all calm down and talk like you got sum sense. second of all you know how important this project is so why you tripping, baby girl?” riri spoke, causing shuri to look at you expecting an answer. “maybe because it seems like the only people in this relationship is y’all two! it’s just fuck me and my feelings, right?!” you said now calming down a little, but still angry.

“so we get yelled at because you wanna be an attention whore? wow, that’s crazy.” shuri laughed. this bitch-she had the audacity to call you an attention whore just because you felt neglected?!!?? oh hell no! “oh so i’m an attention whore because i wanna spend quality time with my significant others?! you got me ALL the way fucked up.” you began to walk upstairs to the shared bedroom.

they followed close behind you, curious to see what you were about to do. once reaching your bedroom, you pulled out a suitcase. “i honestly don’t know why you pulling out yo suitcase cuz you not goin no where.” riri said, throwing your suitcase on the ground. shuri followed up by kicking the suitcase down the stairs. “y/n you need to stop playing with us as if we can’t track you down wherever you go, kimoyo beads or not.” shuri said, glaring at your kimoyo beads.

“and y’all need to stop thinking you can talk to me any kinda way! i’m not some child so stop treating me like one!” you we’re beyond hurt at this point. the two people you loved the most were growing further and further apart from you.

“Look y/n, maybe you should start being considerate of our work! we go in that lab everyday and bust our asses to make sure you and wakanda is safe!” riri yelled, walking up to you. “you’ve been more irritable lately, y/n…what your problem?” shuri now began to walk towards you. ok, now you were getting anxious. these mfs is ganging up on you! now you were fully pressed against a wall.

“why are y’all fucking ganging up on me?! all this because i want to feel loved by my girlfriends?!” the tears couldn’t stop and their faces softened as they looked at you, realizing their mistake. “y/n baby we’re so-” you cut shuri off before she could finish.

“no! i don’t wanna hear it! fuck you! fuck both of you! how dare you treat me like shit and call me names when you’re the ones who should be getting yelled at!?!” you pushed past them, grabbing your purse and phone, putting on shoes and walking out the door to your car.

of course they followed you outside, begging you to stay. “come on, y/n! don’t be like that!” riri yelled, running after you. you got in your car and closed your door before they could get to you. you pulled out of the drive way and just drove. you didn’t have a specific destination.

𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷

it’s been about 2 hours since you left and shuri and riri have begun to worry. they hadn’t gone out to look for you yet being that they knew you wanted space, but DAMN. 2 hours is absolutely insane. you took your kimoyo beads off so they couldn’t track you the easy way, they were about to do the next best thing until you finally walked through the door.

they both both ran towards you, showering you in love. “baby! are you alright?!” “are you you hurt or anything?! where did you go?!” you pushed passed them, heading up to the shared bedroom. they frowned as they followed you.

“y/n? will you talk to us please? we just want to know if you’re ok.” shuri spoke and riri nodded in agreement. “i’m fine, i went for a little drive and stopped to get me something to eat. is that ok?” you spoke, giving them a side eye and rolling them as well. riri and shuri looked at eachother before sharing a light chuckle.

“ok y/n, you getting a lil too bold now, ma. roll them pretty eyes again and see what we do.” you scoffed before turning to face them fully. “not shit, that’s what. i really don’t wanna talk to y’all right now.” you said waving them off, but shuri wasn’t goin for it.

she grabbed your arm tightly before giving you that look. “you wanna repeat that princess?” shuri said and riri followed up right behind her. “yea cuz obviously you we must’ve heard you wrong or sum…cuz ain’t no way you just said that.”’she then pulled on your other arm so now you were basically restricted.

they begin to kiss your neck, slowly removing each item of clothing you had on (as well as themselves). “you want us to show how sorry we are, mami?” shuri asked, biting your neck like a starved animal. you let out a faint “yes please.” to let them know they could continue.

𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷

“oh fuuuccckk.” you moaned in ecstasy. riri was between your legs while shuri kissed all over you. “yea? you like that?” she whispered in your ear, softly biting it afterwards. your hands were cuffed to the rails of the headboard and you had a silk blindfold on.

“oh shit riri! please don’t stop!” you moaned loudly, causing riri to bring her head up and move her fingers faster. “hmmm, i don’t know, ma. do you deserve to cum?” she said, giving off fake sympathy. your breathing hitches as you reached your orgasm. “please mommy! please let me cum!” you were so close, you just hoped she wouldn’t deny your orgasm. luckily for you, she granted your wish.

“alright, cum baby. and it better be a lot too.” as if on cue, you came, creaming all over her fingers. your legs quivered as she overstimulated you. when you finally had enough, you squeezed your legs together, which made her slow down and come to a stop.

she gave your pussy light peck before coming up to let you taste yourself. “hey, i wanna taste her too! kiss me.” shuri said, causing riri to laugh and kiss her. “now it’s my turn. riri, go into the the closet and get my strap for me baby, while i eat baby girl’s pussy.” riri smiled and nodded, scurrying to do what shuri asked of her.

“awww. it’s so swollen baby. and you’re leaking! you ready to cream for me, huh? you ready to cum again?” she rubbed your pulsating nub causing you to ooze more cream. “yes!” you yelled, but shuri slapped your thigh. “yes what?” “yes daddy!” you squealed as she connected her lips with your clit, her fingers sliding inside of you. just then, riri walked in with the strap in hand.

“oh? she creamin already? damn, ma, ian know you was like that.” riri laughed climbing in the bed next to you, kissing your neck sweetly. shuri’s head bobbed up and down between your legs, her fingers moving rapidly. you moaned loudly, your chest moving up and down due to your heavy breathing and gasps.

“daddy! i’m gonna cum! oh shit i’m gonna cum!” you screamed. shuri moaned into your pussy before speaking. “do it, sthandwa. cum in my fucking mouth.” shuri said aggressively, lapping up your juices. riri whispered in your ear, telling you to “do what daddy tells you and cum, baby.” making your back arch instantly, cumming all over shuri’s face and fingers.

“good girl.” they both cooed to you. shuri thanked riri for grabbing the strap for her before standing up to put it on. the strap was of course made of vibranium, and i was about 8 inches long with veins that glowed a blueish purple. “ri, lay y/n between your legs so you can keep her calm…she’s gonna need it.” shuri said, climbing into the bed and running her hands up your exposed torso.

she spread your legs and put them on her shoulders. “i’m gonna fuck you so good, usana.” shuri said before bottoming out. you gasped loudly, pulling at your cuffs. “daddy!” you moaned, instantly creaming around the sex toy. “mmm baby. you sound so fucking good, you making mommy’s pussy so wet.” riri said biting her lip.

you let out the most pornographic sounds as shuri pounded your fat pussy, and riri whispered dirty words in your ear, fondling your breast. “i know baby, i know. you taking what we give you so good.” shuri said, barely above a whisper. they couldn’t see it, but your eyes was rolled to the back of your sockets as shuri hit your spot. you couldn’t control your body anymore.

“fuck baby, wish you could see how good you look right now, shit.” riri moaned. just then, shuri began to drill into you, catching you by surprise and making you squirt. “fuckkk! ok daddy! okayyyyy!” you screamed, trying to run from her unforgiving speed, but she held you down. “nuh-uh baby, thatha yonke into endikunika yona.” shuri said in a very dominant manner.

“say you’re sorry baby. tell me and daddy your sorry then we’ll give you and that pretty pussy a break.” riri said, slapping you pussy a couple of times. “oh shittt! fuck, i’m sorry! i’m sorry guys please! i won’t act up no moreee!” you moaned. shuri and riri smirked in satisfaction. “mhm, yeah. tell us who this pussy belongs to.” shuri said, rubbing your clit. “it belongs to youuu! oh shit, this pussy belongs to both of you!” you screamed, on the brink of cumming so hard.

riri looked up at shuri who was already looking at her. shuri nodded which let riri know everything. “go ahead and cum baby, cum for mommy and daddy. make that pretty pussy come for us.” riri said in your ear, feeling on your upper body. you being basically brainwashed by them, you came as soon as they told you to. shuri finally stopped and began the after care process.

𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷

you layed in between them both, their arms draped over you in a protective yet lazy manner. “we’re sorry, ma. we should be more considerate of your feelings and make time for you, and we shouldn’t have called you out of your name.” riri cooed, causing shuri to nod in agreement. “ewe, usana. we promise to be better from now on.”

you smiled weakly before snuggling into them and speaking softly. “it’s ok i forgive you guys. and i love y’all so much…please don’t ever leave me.” they both nodded. “we love you too baby, and we won’t ever leave you! we 4Lferss!” riri said, making you and shuri laugh. you loved them annoying ass mfs so much.

𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷

©️ an1meslvt

author: i hope y’all liked this one! i did my best for y’all! send request loves 🫶🏾💕 also @imshurisbabymama here’s your tag, pretty! 🫶🏾

[zylian]

—— Many quotes from devotion talk

“Who’s there”

“We had good intentions, they do not care- that’s kab, she’s helping, come here”

“Okay”

——

“So basically, right, they’re just gonna keep blowing up spawn until they get they’re silly little 1v10, right, that’s their idea”

“Yeah so fuck them, we’re never gonna give it to them”

“EXACTLY! I have a skematic of spawn- *laughing* the entire thing from before it got blown up”

*laughs*

——

“If they make an obi farm to like try medusa-ing it, we just kill them, we just stop them, we just get them while they’re afk-ing or blow up every end portal or something- it doesn’t matter”

“It’s so easy to counter them, none of them have the drive or motivation that we do- I feel like together we could totally kick their asses”

“Yeaaaaah, I’m not gonna lie, wemmbu kinda pissed me off-“

“I KNOW RIGHT!”

——

“…Spawn repairing, fighting them back with literally no violence- I mean, you can fight them if you want, I lowkey don’t care but don’t show up to flames stupid 1v10 yknow”

——

“So zam, your not gonna fight flame ever, no matter what he does”

“No, nah”

——

“What’s up with the eyeball, I don’t remember that”

“He beat the shit out of me, it was not good, not pretty”

“aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

——

“They’re never gonna get me below 7, so I don’t care”

“You- you died 3 times?”

“Yeah”

“That sucks, he basically scammed your ass”

“Yeah I don’t care bro, he said ‘3 more if the volcano ever gets touched’ like okay buddy okay”

*laughs*

——

“At least they didn’t touch my castle”

“OH he says it’s his castle now by the way”

“Does he really”

“Fuck him, yeah I’m not letting that happen, I put too much time into that, that’s not his”

——

“I was talking so much shit in chat bro”

“Really?”

“Like the worst I’ve ever have, maybe-“

“Damnnn”

“Maybe the worst I’ve ever had”

——

“We just have to make him sit down, but than again, I don’t wanna do anything violent, I can’t”

“Yeah you do, yeah you do”

“Nahhhh”

“Well”

“It’s better if I don’t

“Yeah but”

“…It’ll send the message better”

——

“Do you have a full inventory? Do you need stuff?”

“I’ve a full inventory of dirt bro, if he comes here and kills me, he comes here and kills me, I don’t care”

“No stop giving him hearts”

“I’ll keep respawning till I’m at 7, so it doesn’t matter”

“Use the fu- No, he fuels his ego every time he kills you, so you gotta start making escape tunnels and getting out casually, that’s what pisses him off the most”

“That’s okay, he’ll realize that it means nothing, cause spawn will keep getting repaired-”

“No he won’t bro”

“If he wants to farm hearts… he’ll farm hearts off me, ugh your right, okay”

“Have you met this dude, no he won’t bro, he will not- he will get the exact same ego boost he gets every single time”

“Really?! I don’t even fight back???”

——

“Next time they chase you, splash turtle on both of them and keep running with speed”

*laughs* “that’s lowkey a strat”

“Yeah it gets you out for free, yeah I’m not even playing, used that shit in mane pear”

——

“They were yelling the entire time, ‘no more honour bro, none of this dumb shi’, they sounded exactly like us last season exactly the same

“That’s funny”

——

“And the fact he tried to take my fucking castle like I wasn’t the number one advocator for that fight”

“Exactlyyy I was an advocator for that fight too”

“Like he just lost a supporter bruh”

——

“He’s dumb as fuck why did he blow up all your shit”

“I don’t know”

“You were about to break your morals for him”

“Exactly! Exactly!!! I have done nothing but be there for him…”

——

“It’s dumb”

“It’s okay, none of this matters to me”

——

“Let me know if you want me and spoke to constantly harass him, we can beat him in a 2v1”

“Oh please do, actually please do, unironically”

——

“..like I kinda realized that wait I lowkey could get everyone’s support, like if your on board with this like I can get anyone”

“Yeah ata a certain point you realize sucking up to flame frags is pointless and lame”

“It’s so pointless yeah cause he has no value for loyalty whatsoever which is like damn”

——

“He was saying some crazy shit, like ‘everyone’s gonna start calling me immortal demon again’ while blowing up all of spawn, thats crazy bro

“Are you serious?!”

“Yeah”

“Damnnnnn Leo killed his ass”

“We broke him bro… the tier list was his lowest point”

——

“I’m just gonna say it, I think we should lay our lives down to the flame frags allegiance”

*laughs a lot*

“I’m just gonna say it! Guys! Guys- he could burn down trees like I don’t know…”

“He could burn down trees while no one’s around except prince zam, sb 737 and terrain”

——

“I survived all 64 golden apples, went through most my turtles um my xp ran out though so that was it”

“Nice, did you chorus?”

“Yeah I was chorusing, I was wind charging bro, I was the runner bro”

“Yeah ngl you need to start making pre-made shit, make a couple of escape routes”

—— bonus w/ woogie

“I am sorry about your tree zam, if there’s anything I can do to help”

“Ehh don’t worry about it, it’s fine……..It’s fine”

“ok”

“I don’t think it’s fine”

“It’s fine- no it is, seriously”

“Bros lying about it”

——

“He’s giving me 2 hearts for 10 god apples”

“You should not supply him I think”

“2 hearts is crazy, supply him”

“Yeah whatever”

“Big fucking deal, I’ll smack the god apples out of his mouth”

“Good work”

[fushitoru]

since u said whistledown will write shit about gojo geto and nanami and basically every man in the ton after fighting naoya, i imagine gojo reading that week’s whistledown and throwing a huge tantrum like the grown ass hyperactive toddler he is (he’s only doing this so the reader will baby tf outta him. also i imagine they’re already married in this scenario 🤭) and when she finally sees her husband throwing a fit she takes the paper from his hand and reads it while he looks up at her like a puppy expecting her to tell him everything written in there is a lie and give him the validation he wants but instead she just hands the paper back to him and says “i agree with everything she wrote” with a straight face and leaves the room.

gojo spends the entire week sulking in a small corner of his huge manor after that 🙄 while all the maids whisper about how the duke hasn’t stopped acting like a big baby ever since he got married

(sorry im having too much fun writing pathetic gojo hcs 😔 bear with me pookie)

- anon in ur walls

part 500 of how ur in my walls. I can’t even ask you how you’ve hacked into my Google docs bruh this was in my head 😔

BUT LOL this is so real. like normally he would not gaf about what whistledown says about him. he’s nonchalant like that + he’s not even in the marriage market so who cares what has to say about him

he would do it for the attention LOLOL he loves getting pampered by reader he’s soooo pathetic. if reader is out reading when there’s good weather, he purposely starts to train shirtless so he can grab her attention. and then starts being even more annoying when he starts to beg you for feedback or to help be a weight on his back 😔

[tirfpikachu]

bruh i just got a post defending anti-vaxxers on my dash ???????? easiest way to tell someone doesn't give a shit about all the physically disabled people dying and ppl getting long covid and complications etc during the pandemic. like okay i'm sorry you feel bad for your neighbors who are scared of needles or believe vaccines will give them autism or whatever. but i promise you mocking anti-vaxxers won't kill them. defending their right to not take a vaccine, however, will just lead to more ppl feeling enabled to being too lazy or paranoid to take vaccines. not just the covid vaccine either! there's been an increase in cases of old ass diseases making a comeback bc people are too suspicious of vaccines now. we're going BACKWARDS. i promise you anti-vaxxers don't need you to defend their Basic Human Right to put others at risk. i promise you "they should be rounded up and vaccinated" isn't an actual tangible threat. being stupid and paranoid due to anti-vaccine propaganda shouldn't come with an army of staunch defenders. i knew radblr had an ableism problem and at times flirted with rightwing rhetoric but this is next level 💀💀

[sincerlycas]

weirdo??

yall tell me if this is weird. so im at momma's house right and my sister has her side nigga over while im sleeping (we share the share room and her real nigga who is a sweetheart was just over the other day confessing his love to her..) so basically they making so much noise, their lips smacking, they fighting, arguing, hitting my damn bed while im sleeping right. atp im tired of it cuz she do this everday (i can't wait to go back to my apartment.) and basically they finally leave the room and i realize i need to go use the restroom. so i get up to go to the bathroom and they're in there im like "bruh nvm" shes like no you can use it im like nah ill just you the one downstairs. so i go downstairs my lovely grandmother says shes using it im like okay so i go back to square one. i go to the original bathroom from before and im like "i need to use the bathroom get out." shes like ight so while her ugly ass side nigga passing by i see something catch my eye so i put my hand on his chest and stop him im like "aint this my chain and pendant?" shes like no its not. and bitch i know my shit i say "no thats mine on baby." so i go look behind the mirror (like those mirrors that can be opened and you can store shit) and theyre not there. then im like "bro give me my shit back" shes like "you want it back" bitch?!?! yes. then she goes "you dont even use it you just saying that cuz you dont like him ive never seen you use it." okay?? its not for you to give thats MY shit I bought it with MY money now give MY shit back. so at this point they at the door of the restroom and im inside the restroom he opens his gums and says "you want it back?" i say yes my sister says no and shes smirking and shit thinking i find that shit a joke so im like "bro you're weird." and slam the bathroom door in their face then finished my business and went back to the room to write this and HE STILL WEARING MY SHIT LIKE BRO. shes talking to him about me saying "bro imma just give her the money for it." no i want the one i BOUGHT BACK and its not no random gold chain BITCH ITS A 10K GOLD CHAIN GIVE ME MY SHIT

they literally kissing and playing with each other and still havent gave my chain back.

[mayisgoingnuts]

JJD-fying Random Characters (PT 5)

(PS this shit is WAY longer than the past ones because I got way too excited midway)

On that one scene, Dexter managed to contain himself and not panic inside the box that Jaune brought, what made them simply throw it away as fast as possible instead of throwing it in the oven,, they were more traumatized rather than protecting themselves tbh, just,, JUST THROW THAT DOLL AWAY.

On that way to escape Lila's house and go kill something, him and JJD finally meet up again, she IMMEDIATELY recognized his voice but also how weirdly aggressive he is (more than he normally was), what only made him go from top 3 to top 1 on her list

Howeverrr of course: "I'm a doll, you dumb bitch!" and she couldn't do anything. But that's why we got magic on our side right

JJD was acting like a damn hungry puppy asking for help to Atticus cuz she knew damn well that he could, but of course her own goals are just a bunch of stupidity to him. His ass wouldn't waste time on her and she'd need to di something to deserve it

And despite not doing almost anything in the cult she CAN be useful as FUCK, she simply chooses to do only the bare minimum, and oh boy the ammount of sacrifices he got for some time (until a certain date that was like a deadline). The girl was DETERMINED.

Sooo yeah, Atticus did tried to trick her and not give anything in the end but she let it clear that if she reached the date and Atticus don't keep his promise, she'd get him infront of the whole cult. Would she die? Of fucking COURSE. But does she has the guts to do so?? YES ASWELL. He had a reputation to keep-

So Atticus did it like giving a phone to distract a brat and went "alr take this shit don't tell anyone and go have fun"

The amulet basically get supernatural beings (like demons or ghosts or monsters in general) to feel the sensation of tickling aswell, nothing more and nothing less. Silly and dumb BUT it was Dexter's doom cuz now JJD's dreams came true

You can easily count that as kidnapping to be honest KAJDHDK,, JJD just took him to herself, that's it. Where she goes he'll go and the other way around. Did Dexter liked it? Bruh he was pure NERVES in the beginning, he never felt so much rage, every opportunity he had to try killing her he would give it a shot (yes, she let him have a knife and never took it from him)

Buuuuut it kinda got less worse with time? It began with the fact that the first time he was going nuts because of his needs JJD actually leaved and brought him like, 2 stray cats for him to kill and then went back to sleep. He thought she was messing with him but he noticed it was for real when he tested her and she once again began to walk around with him searching for animals to kill (wanting or not she knows how it feels to have a need, she wouldn't call it empathy but "basic logic")

And after some time JJD is A LITTLE more sufferable and her "peaks of boredom" weren't as bad, still annoying as fuck but now that he basically don't got the physical consequences of it it's way better,, although he still hates them. JJD is unable to shut the fuck up after all /silly but asides from that she's less of a bitch than he imagined

Dexter would still not be sad or mad if JJD died and neither would she if he died-DIED (but she avoids because Dexter benefits her A LOT) and it's kind of a consent that they're getting along SOMETIMES to not make things annoying for both of them, plus he managed to get a few things that staying with Skid or even as a human he wasn't allowed to have, such as just satisfy his needs without having to be careful about it/dealing with consequences, a bodyguard 24/7 and the privilege of going to places and do whatever shit you want because they'll never get you

Those mfs are the definition of "unhealthily healthy", I have NO other ways to describe it, they're both weirdos /aff and I love both of them so much

Mayhaps they can grow into an actual friendship but now that depends on timelines and shit that I like to create ksbdjshdjs

Taglist: @merwynsartblog @clownazon @dismissivedestroyer @jonesy-squish

[loyaltykask]

Chapter 29

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

13 YEARS?! Holy shit! She got kidnapped at 17 and has been with this guy for almost half her life.... Poor princess...

I mean I know they were lovers in a past life but still huge dick move

Haha, little shit Sanzang has to be the team mom yet again

DAMN BRUH KINDA HARSH

Woman could have a beauty and the beast moment but no this is just kidnapping

Write this down Wujing canonically 12 feet in Sanzang's eyes

Love voice of reason Wujing lets GOOOOOOOOOOO

Sanzang trying so damn hard to keep his boys upright like..... He legit trying to keep someone from having a heart attack seeing Bajie and Wujing. People grow some balls Sanzang trying his ass out here

36 is the basic learning of an immortal's completion training, takes hundreds of years to master even 36. And Wukong learned 72 in like a few months

I love that not only does Hero Is Back 2015 Bajie have the pirate accent because he is canonically a sailer but also that even on Earth the rake is a weird weapon. Like it is NOT common it IS strange and people WILL call him out on

Gloomy? Damn

Love the audacity on this guy

Can't believe that they lost their boost Sanzang LEGIT their boost in power cause he has their deities protecting him

HE REALLY IS THE CLERIC OF THE PARTY

[tododeku-or-bust]

Imma tag it with TW child abuse so don't hit me with no anon saying "Can you tag your suffering with child abuse" this time!

I think what always makes it weird for me to think about my childhood as abuse is that my parents were not bad providers. Like when we think of the basic role of a parent, it's for the kid to survive. And they (mostly my Mom) did that; I didn't go hungry, I didn't go without. Might have had to deal with snotty kids picking on my clothes and lack of toys, and I had to work my way through college, but i had water to wash with and a nice house. As far as the outside world goes, I turned out great bc I had a great start.

And they were loving! I think that's what made it... So confusing. I love my parents. Like, my parents are very affectionate people! They're not stupid, they enjoy fun, played videogames and sang songs and read, and they generally loved us. But that shit felt so... Conditional. Like for every moment I felt like I was being loved, I felt like I had to do something to maintain it. Get good grades, be pretty, never do anything wrong.

That's why I pretty much hated my folks from age 10 to about 21. It was a constant battle, a "you're not existing and believing the way I want you to", to the point that we had bruising, blood spilling fights, many of which to this day I think about and am filled with the same murderous rage. Then my dad got depressed bc the economy and started becoming an incel right as I hit teendom, so THAT made it far worse.

and I would be pissed as hell at my mom bc she acted like that shit between me and my dad was equivalent. "You both have the same volatile temper", "I'll send him to prison and you to foster care", "stop being disobedient", "stop opening your fucking mouth" bruh I was 15 and 110 and my father was a 200+ grown man. ONE OF US is the REAL issue here and it ain't me 🤣🤣 like to this day I hear the word 'disobedient' and I wanna choke somebody.

(My dad was more physical, my mom blew up sometimes but it was more words with her. She would get pissed bc she'd cite how her mother was meaner to her and I'd be like "take that up with her then")

Fun story, I was about 12 when I realized that they could beat me all they want and it didn't make me any less right or their actions any less wrong 🤣. I think it was after realizing that sometimes they'd just... fight me. Bruh. I was INSUFFERABLE after that. "But are you gone beat my ass" personified. Like yeah I was dead but boy you gone feel hurt bc imma tear your soul up. 🤷🏾‍♀️

And idk. I wasn't a bad kid. I did well in school, had hobbies, wasn't on drugs or alcohol. A little boy crazy. Mouthy, when defensive. Pushing boundaries, often. But that's what teenagers do. They're supposed to. They were the fucking adults. And now I got fucking PTSD and shit all bc they couldn't acknowledge their own traumas and attempt actually communicating with their kid like a human being.

But EYE went to therapy, so now I got healthy options 👍🏾 that emotional intelligence and maturity is on LOCK in comparison to them. The "great person" is because of ME.