#based on a true story of how I carried my drunk friend home

[wrathyforest]

[whencyclopedia]

Sioux Warrior Rain-in-the-Face (Eastman's Biography)

Rain-in-the-Face (Ite Omagazu, l. c. 1835-1905) was a Lakota Sioux warrior and war chief during Red Cloud's War (1866-1868) and at the Battle of the Little Bighorn (1876), after which he became famous as the man who killed Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer, his brother Capt. Thomas Custer, or both of them.

How Rain-in-the-Face first became identified as Custer's killer is unclear, but the claim was popularized by the poem The Revenge of Rain-in-the-Face by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow – the bestselling American poet of his age – published in Keramos and Other Poems (1878). Although modern-day writers cite the poem as claiming Rain-in-the-Face killed Thomas Custer, it seems clear "White Chief with yellow hair" (line 9 of the poem) alludes to George Custer, and it is George's heart, not Thomas's, that Rain-in-the-Face rides off with at the end of the piece.

Rain-in-the-Face is best known today from two accounts of his life and the part he played at the Battle of the Little Bighorn – the 1894 report given by American journalist W. Kent Thomas based on an "interview" given at Coney Island, and the 1905 biography by the Sioux author and physician Charles A. Eastman (also known as Ohiyesa, l. 1858-1939) – which contradict each other.

In the Thomas interview, Rain-in-the-Face claims he killed Thomas Custer, cut out his heart, and spat part of it in his face at Little Bighorn as revenge for being unjustly arrested by Capt. Custer in 1874. In Eastman's account, he denies killing either of the brothers and, further, describes the Battle of Little Bighorn as so chaotic no one could have known who they had killed for certain.

As the W. Kent Thomas interview was given after the journalist got Rain-in-the-Face drunk, for the express purpose of getting the "real story" on Custer's death, while Eastman's account is a respectful transcript of the old warrior's life story, the latter is usually understood as more historically accurate.

Text

The following is taken from Eastman's Indian Heroes and Great Chieftains (1916), the 1939 edition, republished in 2016. It has been edited in the interests of space, but the full account will be found below in the External Links section.

The noted Sioux warrior, Rain-in-the-Face, whose name once carried terror to every part of the frontier, died at his home on the Standing Rock reserve in North Dakota on September 14, 1905. About two months before his death, I went to see him for the last time, where he lay upon the bed of sickness from which he never rose again, and drew from him his life-history.

It had been my experience that you cannot induce an Indian to tell a story, or even his own name, by asking him directly.

"Friend," I said, "even if a man is on a hot trail, he stops for a smoke! In the good old days, before the charge there was a smoke. At home, by the fireside, when the old men were asked to tell their brave deeds, again the pipe was passed. So come, let us smoke now to the memory of the old days!"

He took of my tobacco and filled his long pipe, and we smoked. Then I told an old mirthful story to get him in the humor of relating his own history.

The old man lay upon an iron bedstead, covered by a red blanket, in a corner of the little log cabin. He was all alone that day; only an old dog lay silent and watchful at his master's feet.

Finally, he looked up and said with a pleasant smile:

"True, friend; it is the old custom to retrace one's trail before leaving it forever! I know that I am at the door of the spirit home.

"I was born near the forks of the Cheyenne River, about seventy years ago…When I was a boy, I loved to fight," he continued. "In all our boyish games I had the name of being hard to handle, and I took much pride in the fact.

"I was about ten years old when we encountered a band of Cheyenne. They were on friendly terms with us, but we boys always indulged in sham fights on such occasions, and this time I got in an honest fight with a Cheyenne boy older than I. I got the best of the boy, but he hit me hard in the face several times, and my face was all spattered with blood and streaked where the paint had been washed away. The Sioux boys whooped and yelled:

"‘His enemy is down, and his face is spattered as if with rain! Rain-in-the-Face! His name shall be Rain-in-the-Face!'

"Afterwards, when I was a young man, we went on a warpath against the Gros Ventres. We stole some of their horses but were overtaken and had to abandon the horses and fight for our lives. I had wished my face to represent the sun when partly covered with darkness, so I painted it half black, half red. We fought all day in the rain, and my face was partly washed and streaked with red and black: so again, I was christened Rain-in-the-Face. We considered it an honorable name.

"I had been on many warpaths, but was not especially successful until about the time the Sioux began to fight with the white man…

"Some , Crow King, and others.

"This was the plan decided upon after many councils. The main war party lay in ambush, and a few of the bravest young men were appointed to attack the woodchoppers who were cutting logs to complete the building of the fort. We were told not to kill these men, but to chase them into the fort and retreat slowly, defying the white men; and if the soldiers should follow, we were to lead them into the ambush. They took our bait exactly as we had hoped! It was a matter of a very few minutes, for every soldier lay dead in a shorter time than it takes to annihilate a small herd of buffalo.

"This attack was hastened because most of the Sioux on the Missouri River and eastward had begun to talk of suing for peace. But even this did not stop the peace movement. The very next year a treaty was signed at Fort Rice, Dakota Territory, by nearly all the Sioux chiefs, in which it was agreed on the part of the Great Father in Washington that all the country north of the Republican River in Nebraska, including the Black Hills and the Big Horn Mountains, was to be always Sioux country, and no white man should intrude upon it without our permission. Even with this agreement Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse were not satisfied, and they would not sign…

"It was when the white men found the yellow metal in our country, and came in great numbers, driving away our game, that we took up arms against them for the last time. I must say here that the chiefs who were loudest for war were among the first to submit and accept reservation life. Spotted Tail was a great warrior, yet he was one of the first to yield, because he was promised by the Chief Soldiers that they would make him chief of all the Sioux. Ugh! He would have stayed with Sitting Bull to the last had it not been for his ambition.

"About this time, we young warriors began to watch the trails of the white men into the Black Hills, and when we saw a wagon coming, we would hide at the crossing and kill them all without much trouble. We did this to discourage the whites from coming into our country without our permission…

"There were a few Indians who were liars, and never on the warpath, playing ‘good Indian' with the Indian agents and the war chiefs at the forts. Some of this faithless set betrayed me and told more than I ever did. I was seized and taken to the fort near Bismarck, North Dakota of the Long-Haired War Chief and imprisoned there. These same lying Indians, who were selling their services as scouts to the white man, told me that I was to be shot to death, or else hanged upon a tree. I answered that I was not afraid to die.

"However, there was an old soldier who used to bring my food and stand guard over me—he was a white man, it is true, but he had an Indian heart! He came to me one day and unfastened the iron chain and ball with which they had locked my leg, saying by signs and what little Sioux he could muster:

"‘Go, friend! Take the chain and ball with you. I shall shoot, but the voice of the gun will lie.'

"When he had made me understand, you may guess that I ran my best! I was almost over the bank when he fired his piece at me several times, but I had already gained cover and was safe. I have never told this before, and would not, lest it should do him an injury, but he was an old man then, and I am sure he must be dead long since. That old soldier taught me that some of the white people have hearts," he added, quite seriously.

"I went back to Standing Rock in the night, and I had to hide for several days in the woods, where food was brought to me by my relatives…

"In the spring the hostile Sioux got together again upon the Tongue River. It was one of the greatest camps of the Sioux that I ever saw…We had decided to fight the white soldiers until no warrior should be left."

At this point Rain-in-the-Face took up his tobacco pouch and began again to fill his pipe…

"There was excitement among the people, and a great council was held. Many spoke. I was asked the condition of those Indians who had gone upon the reservation, and I told them truly that they were nothing more than prisoners. It was decided to go out and meet Three Stars at a safe distance from our camp.

"We met him on the Little Rosebud. I believe that if we had waited and allowed him to make the attack, he would have fared no better than Custer. He was too strongly fortified where he was, and I think, too, that he was saved partly by his Indian allies, for the scouts discovered us first and fought us first, thus giving him time to make his preparations. I think he was more wise than brave! After we had left that neighborhood, he might have pushed on and connected with the Long-Haired Chief. That would have saved Custer and perhaps won the day.

"When we crossed from Tongue River to the Little Big Horn, on account of the scarcity of game, we did not anticipate any more trouble. Our runners had discovered that Crook had retraced his trail to Goose Creek, and we did not suppose that the white men would care to follow us farther into the rough country.

"Suddenly the Long-Haired Chief appeared with his men! It was a surprise."

"What part of the camp were you in when the soldiers attacked the lower end?" I asked.

"I had been invited to a feast at one of the young men's lodges . There was a certain warrior who was making preparations to go against the Crows, and I had decided to go also," he said.

"While I was eating my meat, we heard the war cry! We all rushed out and saw a warrior riding at top speed from the lower camp, giving the warning as he came. Then we heard the reports of the soldiers' guns, which sounded differently from the guns fired by our people in battle.

"I ran to my teepee and seized my gun, a bow, and a quiver full of arrows. I already had my stone war club, for you know we usually carry those by way of ornament. Just as I was about to set out to meet Reno, a body of soldiers appeared nearly opposite us, at the edge of a long line of cliffs across the river.

"All of us who were mounted and ready immediately started down the stream toward the ford. There were Ogallala, Miniconjou, Cheyenne, and some Hunkpapa, and those around me seemed to be nearly all very young men.

"‘Behold, there is among us a young woman!' I shouted. ‘Let no young man hide behind her garment!' I knew that would make those young men brave.

"The woman was Tashenamani, or Moving Robe, whose brother had just been killed in the fight with Three Stars. Holding her brother's war staff over her head, and leaning forward upon her charger, she looked as pretty as a bird. Always when there is a woman in the charge, it causes the warriors to vie with one another in displaying their valor," he added.

"The foremost warriors had almost surrounded the white men, and more were continually crossing the stream. The soldiers had dismounted and were firing into the camp from the top of the cliff."

"My friend, was Sitting Bull in this fight?" I inquired.

"I did not see him there, but I learned afterward that he was among those who met Reno, and that was three or four of the white man's miles from Custer's position. Later he joined the attack upon Custer but was not among the foremost.

"When the troops were surrounded on two sides, with the river on the third, the order came to charge! There were many very young men, some of whom had only a war staff or a stone war club in hand, who plunged into the column, knocking the men over and stampeding their horses.

"The soldiers had mounted and started back, but when the onset came, they dismounted again and separated into several divisions, facing different ways. They fired as fast as they could load their guns, while we used chiefly arrows and war clubs. There seemed to be two distinct movements among the Indians. One body moved continually in a circle, while the other rode directly into and through the troops.

"Presently some of the soldiers remounted and fled along the ridge toward Reno's position; but they were followed by our warriors, like hundreds of blackbirds after a hawk. A larger body remained together at the upper end of a little ravine and fought bravely until they were cut to pieces. I had always thought that white men were cowards, but I had a great respect for them after this day.

"It is generally said that a young man with nothing but a war staff in his hand broke through the column and knocked down the leader very early in the fight. We supposed him to be the leader, because he stood up in full view, swinging his big knife .

"After the first rush was over, coups were counted as usual on the bodies of the slain. You know, four coups is entitled to the ‘first feather.'

"There was an Indian here called Appearing Elk, who died a short time ago. He was slightly wounded in the charge. He had some of the weapons of the Long-Haired Chief, and the Indians used to say jokingly after we came upon the reservation that Appearing Elk must have killed the Chief, because he had his sword! However, the scramble for plunder did not begin until all were dead. I do not think he killed Custer, and if he had, the time to claim the honor was immediately after the fight.

"Many lies have been told of me. Some say that I killed the Chief, and others that I cut out the heart of his brother , because he had caused me to be imprisoned. Why, in that fight the excitement was so great that we scarcely recognized our nearest friends! Everything was done like lightning. After the battle, we young men were chasing horses all over the prairie, while the old men and women plundered the bodies; and if any mutilating was done, it was by the old men.

"I have lived peaceably ever since we came upon the reservation. No one can say that Rain-in-the-Face has broken the rules of the Great Father. I fought for my people and my country. When we were conquered, I remained silent, as a warrior should. Rain-in-the-Face was killed when he put down his weapons before the Great Father. His spirit was gone then; only his poor body lived on, but now it is almost ready to lie down for the last time. Ho, hechetu! "

Continue reading...

[caramelcal]

Slow Down

Request(s):  Ooooooo could you do a Luke x reader fic based on the song Slow Down by Why Don’t We?

+  Anonymous said:Luke x reader? He’s on tour halfway across the world but all he can think about is spending time with his girlfriend?

Word Count: 2.1k!

a/n: hey! i know that this doesn’t fully cover the second request so if you want something completely based off of that, just request again! Thanks for requesting anyway and I hope you enjoy! Also did you guys see Madi’s lives today??? The cake decorating??? THE COVER?? MY EARS ARE B L E S S E D  update: not me forgetting to add tags

Masterlist

Oh, I've been lying to myself and I might know why I miss the way you looked at me before you left New York (hey) I've been tryin' to find help, 'cause I can't deny The way that I feel when I'm with you Oh, I'd do anything to save ya

He could hear the fans screaming in excitement, the overall chatter of them but he couldn’t enjoy it at the moment. How excited they were to see the band. He was filled with nerves, and even though he was born to perform as many would say, he still couldn’t help feeling nervous.

It was no surprise that Julie and the Phantoms had gotten big, their music was amazing. After they played at the Orpheum, they got a lot of recognition and only ten months later they were whisked up on a tour, a new album out only a month ago gone viral. Everyone loved them, and they were finally living their dream.

Luke loved performing, it was second nature to him, but being on tour was very different from playing in the garage with the band like he was used to. So whilst he basked in the glory of the fans, there were still nerves and that’s what he felt right now.

Checking his phone, his foot tapped against the floor at a rapid pace, his guitar sitting to his right. Normally, playing his guitar would comfort him, but it wouldn’t right now, that’s why he needed you.

And thankfully, his worries that you weren’t going to answer as he heard your calming voice through his phone, “Hello?”

“Babe,” Luke replied, breathing out a sigh of relief when he let the nerves out of his body.

“Luke? Aren’t you supposed to be on stage right now?” You started, and he could hear the worry in your voice, “Is everything alright.”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Just nervous, that’s all. We’re just about to go on,” Luke informed you, eyes staying on the ground as he simply focused on you and not any of the fuss around him. Backstage concerts were always crazy like this, especially just before they started. No doubt someone would be through in a second to pester him about getting ready to go on stage.

“Luke, babe,” You said, your voice calming as you spoke to your boyfriend. You knew he was going to absolutely kiss it out there, he did every single time he performed, “You’re going to be amazing, okay? I’ve never met anyone as talented as you and the rest of the band. I’ll be cheering you on all the way from California.”

That brought a smile onto Luke’s face, making him bend down his face so he was facing the ground. He didn’t like everyone to know just how in love he was with you, and the beaming smile on his face would be a clear indication. It wasn’t like he was very good at hiding it anyway, he constantly talked about you, somehow managing to praise you like you were a god even if you did a simple task. He was completely and utterly in love with you, no one could deny that.

“Thanks, babe, I miss you so much. I will find time to see you at some point,”

“You better, I miss you too. Plus, who else am I supposed to jam with in the car when you aren't here?” You joked, laughing lightly with Luke.

Luke casts his hazel eyes up to the figure in front of him after catching on to the very professional shoes that stood just in front of him, catching eyes onto his manager, “Listen I gotta go, but I’ll call you tonight, okay? I love you.”

“Love you too, my rockstar,” You said teasingly, knowing that it always made Luke flustered when you called him that. It wasn’t long before you guys had finished saying goodbye and his phone was turned off and put away, guitar in hand as he was ushered on stage.

Yet, just before he got on stage, he stopped, whispering, “This is for you, y/n/n. I love you.”

And with that, he ran out, and the fans erupted into screams and cheers.

I think we need a little California 'cation We took a shot at this, but maybe we're too wasted It's hard to swallow, but I know we gotta chase it, oh

Slow down, I think that we just need to slow down, slow down  Turn around, things were so simple way before now, 'fore now

Turns out, that even if Luke did want to meet up, that the tour was far too demanding for that. It was two months since the time you called, and you guys still haven’t had the chance to meet up. Hell, you guys barely had time to facetime. Luke was on constant vocal rest, and the times he normally was available, you were in class.

It was safe to say, the distance, and the different time zones were definitely getting to you. Some people were too, saying how people go off on tours and lose feelings if their girl stays back home, they often find flings and extra stuff like that. You knew Luke wasn’t like that, and both Carrie and Flynn have cussed the girls out for putting that in your head when it was obviously not true, but you couldn’t help but think about it sometimes.

Luke barely picked up your calls anymore, and you knew that what he was doing was very time demanding, but you thought that at least he would make a bit of time for you. You guys did text of course, but you often wouldn’t get around to replying to each other until hours after so it wasn’t a stable conversation. You thought about flying out for a weekend, or taking a few days out of school and flying somewhere to meet him, but your college student finances were not stable enough for that and you didn’t want anyone’s help, not even Carrie’s when she offered.

After being deprived of your boyfriend for so long, you often found yourself wallowing alone in your college dorm, but that wasn’t where you were right now. Flynn and Carrie had somehow managed to drag you outside to a party, a red solo cup in your hand and a fancy top on with some nice jeans. You contemplated drinking but found yourself denying any alcohol that went your way, getting drunk probably wasn’t the most responsible way to go.

Yet, as you saw the couples, some sweet ones holding hands or hugging, and some a little more...heated, you couldn’t help but drown in the thoughts of him. This was supposed to be a distraction from your wallowing, but you felt even more miserable here than you did back in your dorm room. You wouldn’t be for long though, not when you found out who was here.

See ya, I wanna see ya, ah  I wish you weren't so far so I could see ya, ah  'Cita, mamacita  We were comfortable, we didn't understand but now we know

Two weeks before the party, Flynn found herself on her bed, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram before her phone went. She quickly answered, seeing Julie’s face pop up on the small screen with a smile. They talked for a while, just catching up and Julie shared some concert and fan stories before she asked, So how is everyone? Carrie? y/n?”

“Carrie’s doing good, Dirty Candy is slowly getting some recognition for themselves, I see a tour in their future,” Flynn said with a smile, trying to distract Julie from the subject of y/n. She knew that most likely, the boys would be close by, and she did not want to tell them how miserable she was without them. That would only damper their moods.

“That’s so cool! I’m really glad, they deserve it. How’s y/n?” Julie asked, a smile on her face but as she looked at the hesitation on her best friend’s face, she knew something was wrong, “Flynn, is y/n okay?”

However, Flynn quickly found out that her silence was not helping her in any way, and when Julie asked about y/n again, Luke who playing about with his guitar in the corner of the room caught onto her concern. He stood up, alarm flooding his features as he walked over, taking the phone from Julie.

When his face showed up on the video call, Flynn could see his concern and worry and it made her eyes go wide. She knew there was no getting out of this, ���What’s up with y/n?”

“Nothing, she’s fine,” Flynn tried her best to dismiss, laughing awkwardly but when she looked back to the camera she could tell that Luke was not buying it.

“Flynn.”

“Really! She’s-”

“Flynn! You do realize this is my girlfriend?” Luke said, raising his voice slightly to get the girl to stop rambling, which she did. Luke was only growing more concerned for his girlfriend and annoyed at the girl for trying to keep something about his girlfriend away from him, “I wanna know what’s going on with her.”

“She’s just,” Flynn hesitates, trying to think of a way to make this easier on Luke without lying to him but she realizes that she needs to be straightforward with the guy. Sighing, she starts, “y/n misses you to the point that she holes herself up in her dorm, and only comes out for food and classes. Hell, she hardly gets out of her pajamas anymore, Luke. She’s taking this a lot harder than she’s telling you.”

Luke went quiet, a frown forming on his face when he realized what his girlfriend was doing. He knew that she couldn’t keep going on like that; he still had another two months left of the tour and she would have wasted months of her life locked in her dorm. He casts a glance towards Julie, before looking back at Flynn, “I’ll sort this out. I’ll send you the details once I work them out but clearly, something needs to change.”

And with that, Flynn hung up and Julie and Luke started to plot a plan...

I think we need a little California 'cation We took a shot at this, but maybe we're too wasted It's hard to swallow, but I know we gotta chase it, oh

Slow down, I think that we just need to slow down, slow down  Turn around, things were so simple way before now, 'fore now Slow down, I think that we just need to slow down, slow down (need to slow down, slow down, whoa) Turn around, things were so simple way before now, 'fore now (things were so simple way before now)

“Y/n!” Carrie calls out, grabbing your attention from the red solo cup in your hand. You look up at her, giving her a small weak smile.

“Hey, Carrie,”

“You enjoying the party?” She asks, hands on her hips as she looks around the room with a smile on her face. She had a fitting golden dress on, much fancier than what you were wearing but you didn’t care.

You tried to wrack your brain for what to say, and how not to offend Carrie about her party. Her party wasn’t bad, you just...didn’t want to be there, “Uhh, it’s alright, yeah.”

“Well it’s about to get a lot better,” Carrie says, a wide smile coming on her face as she looked behind you, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

Then, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You whirled around and saw him take a few steps away, a wide smile on his face. You stood there, shocked, this couldn’t be real, he was on tour. He wasn’t here, he couldn’t be.

But then, you sprinted, jumping into his arms, head leaning against his shoulder with your legs around his waist. He held you close to him, savoring the moments of you just being in his arms; something he had not got to experience in months.

Everyone at the party watched on but didn’t say anything, fond smiles on their faces for the reunited young couple. For you and Luke, however, it seemed as if you two were the only ones in the room, because no one else mattered at that moment.

You pulled your head up from his shoulder, eyes meeting his as the wide smiles that were on your faces only growing wider, never fainter. When you next spoke your voice was quiet, almost as if you believed if you spoke too loudly he would go away, you would realize this was just a dream, “Luke, you- you’re here.”

“I am y/n/n,” He whispered back, nodding his head as he leaned in and softly kissed your hips, your hands going to each side of his face, playing with the soft messy hair that he had. With eyes shut, you stayed in each other’s embrace, simply enjoying the moment, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Don’t leave me for so long ever again, I can’t live my life without you.”

Let's just say, you two were never parted for too long after that.

[absolutebl]

Manner of Death - It’s A Murdery Series

Episode 1 Analysis

I’m not sure I can do my normal flippant BL tropes analysis + pop culture crit with Manner of Death. Because: 

This is not BL, it’s romantic suspense 

Different tropes for different folks 

We are also in cozy mystery city, sweetheart

Or should I say cozy mystery small town?

Anywhowhatwhenwherewhyhow... 

Romantic Suspense in a BL blog? 

This is MaxTul and I have been waiting YEARS for them to appear in something decent, so sure, here we go...  

What’s romantic suspense? 

Romantic suspense is a literary sub genre of romance fiction in which both the romance AND the suspense/mystery/thriller elements are integral parts of the plot. This means that if you remove the romance thread the story would fall apart. And/or if you remove the crime element the story falls apart. It’s primarily consumed by romance readers. 

Why do I think Manner of Death qualifies as Romantic Suspense? 

Well at first I thought we were getting a cozy mystery with a gay romance sub-plot. (Which means if the romance element is removed, the story could still occur.) But after watching episode one, I think it’s actually romantic suspense because:

So much of this episode was built using romance tropes as well as mystery tropes. 

The gaze of the filming lens was very romance-driven in terms of lingering on longing glances and shirtless Dr Bun. 

We followed Dr Bun into his bed. Suspense (even cozies) rarely follows the protag into household intimacy zones in the first episode. (Victims = yes, protags = no.) Romance almost always does. 

Finally, we have got a kiss in the first installment for Dr Bun, plus a lot of screen time spent on their meet cute, and that kind of pacing indicates romance. 

Why is it EXCITING that Manner of Death is romantic suspense? 

Well, romantic suspense is a HUGELY hot genre amongst readers that has gotten VERY little attention from Hollywood. (Something like True Romance qualifies as do a few others but there isn’t much out there...) There’s also little to NO queer rep in suspense films in general (except as plot drivers and victims). 

Generally speaking, the Hollywood film industry prefers straight up suspense in which the heterosexual love story, while it can be present for the protagonist, doesn’t drive plot and usually doesn’t end happily (think Mission Impossible franchise). Or the alternate which is cozy mystery TV series, which I’ll address in a moment. 

In short? This is a massive untapped market in visual media. 

Cozy Mystery 

Cozy mysteries, AKA cozies, are a sub-genre of crime fiction in which:  

sex and violence usually occur off stage (AKA don’t be too graphic)

the detective is an amateur sleuth 

the crime and detection take place in a small, socially intimate community.

While I think Manner of Death is demonstrating all core elements of a cozy, I don’t think it is going to be a cozy because they wouldn’t have hired MaxTul if they weren’t going to give us some serious skinship (violating the too graphic rule above). And it has already gotten a bit violent for cozies. 

That said, it’s a REALLY smart thing to put a romantic suspense into a cozy framework because...

Cozy mysteries are SUPER popular, often times with exactly the same demographic that tends to watch BL and read romantic suspense. Which is to say: mostly straight women of a certain age. (What Hollywood calls the apple pie demographic. Don’t blame the messenger.) 

Also cozies are more popular as TV series, rather than one-off films. And what do we have with Manner of Death? A SERIES! 

So I’m calling Manner of Death as:

A gay romantic suspense series in a cozy mystery framework. 

And if they can stick to that, and have done their marketing properly, they could have a run away hit on their hands. 

There are some things to be wary of: 

The lingering gaze and romantic lens can upset mystery watchers, who are probably going to be coming to this show fresh (expecting a cozy) not understanding what it is. 

Also the captioning of the medical terminology and awkward phrasing of certainly dialogue may turn these viewers off. They are less forgiving than BL watchers. 

The director is going to have to tread a VERY thin line with romantic suspense to keep new (non-BL) viewers. As is the script - the mystery is going to need to be executed well. Finally, much as we like Dr Oak and the comedic element, that style of humor probably won’t translate well to a mystery audience, so I’m hoping they pull back a bit on that. 

Some stuff I really loved? 

The soundtrack. It’s way more mature than BL and I am really happy to hear music that doesn’t interfere with my enjoyment or beat me over the head with its mistrust of the actor’s ability to execute emotion.

The filming style, they have left off triple shots and other BL fillers. 

The lack of comedic sound effects. I have learned not to mind them in BL romantic comedies but they have no place in romantic suspense. 

Lack of product placement. Although I worry about how they are funding this baby. 

Tul’s acting. I seriously did not think he had it in him and I am really excited to see him carry this thing. I was confused as to why they gave Dr Bun to him and not Max, but now I totally get it. Tul has a soft sweetness to him that Max doesn’t and it’s perfect for this character. I am already very worried about him. That’s one of the dramatic tensions of a cozy - fish-out-of-water driven concern for the protagonist. 

My Feels?

This is going to be a wild, crazy, sexy ride. Even if it jumps the shark I’m excited to see where it fails. And I mean that lovingly. 

From a purely academic perspective it’s so cool to watch something totally new, yet based on so much trope-riddled history. 

And on that note... TROPES! 

Mystery & Suspense Tropes  We Got In Episode One 

Opening on a murder

Fridge girl (see women in refrigerators) 

Nosy reporter 

Medical evidence explained 

Female friend in danger

Amateur sleuth 

Small town sins AKA the dark underbelly  

Public argument

Zoom in on clues 

I know the victim 

Murder disguised as suicide 

Love interest is a suspect 

Romance Tropes We Got In Episode One 

Meet Cute 

Sexual tension 

Secretive brooding love interest 

You can’t go home again 

Witty banter & innuendo 

Everyone wants the protagonist 

Get his shirt off ASAP 

First kiss in under 10%

BL Tropes We Got In Episode One 

(what you thought I’d just forget my one true love?) 

Faen fatal 

Baby is a floppy drunk 

Proximity alert 

Post-it love note 

Touch my lip and think of kissing

Head touch (the ”you have something in your hair” variant) 

In conclusion Manner of Death may be the death of me, but what a way to go. 

[sweetsubharry]

Can you rec some omega harry fics pls?

Yes I can!! ^-^ So because this is a particular favourite of mine I counted 68 fics in this list so as a warning it’s a long list!! 

In case no one makes it to the bottom I’ll say it here too! Please stay safe and read the tags!!💕💕

'Cause Your Embrace Keeps Me Warmer by scribblewrite

Mates and soulmates are two completely different things. Mates are two people, an alpha and omega, who bond together while knotted together when the alpha bites a bond point on the omega’s body. It ties the two of them together forever or until one of them breaks the bond. It's normally the step after marriage. One could only hope to meet their soulmate.

You Could Be My Ever After by scribblewrite

His heat was gone, finally gone, and he'd been able to sleep for longer than thirty minute intervals. Not only that, but he was in his alpha's arms. He felt warm, and safe, and protected, and he honest to god didn't want to move. Harry and Louis spend the next couple days together after they've bonded with Louis taking care of Harry and the two of them getting to know each other better. Louis and Harry meet for the first time and, being soulmates, Louis's rut and Harry's heat are triggered.

Fill My Heart With Sweetness by loopdelouis

Harry's a late bloomer, but since his luck is shit, it's no surprise that he'd be the last to get a heat, but the first to get pregnant. In high school.

Let's Embrace The Point Of No Return by sweaterpawstyles

Louis was a whole new scale of beautiful, he was richer than Harry could've ever imagined, and he was the most powerful, dominant alpha that Harry had ever come in contact with. The only problem now is that Louis is also Harry's boss.

Louis believed Harry was an alpha, and had no idea about how he had lied about his status just to get an interview with Louis. He was in too deep now and he couldn't look back.

Or

Harry is an omega intern at an all alpha company. Louis is his boss. There's some complications.

Count The Wolves And We'll Sleep Tonight by scribblewrite

Louis's the Alpha of a powerful pack and Harry's his omega.

When Harry's taken by rogue alphas, Louis will do anything to bring him home safely.

turn the sky black into a sky blue by orphan_account

Harry forgets that noses exist. Louis is a badass motherfucker. They bang.

“I’ve been in love with you since I dropped my books in the hallway and you made fun of me when you picked up my John Green novel off the ground.”

Our Lips Are Made Of Candy by Waking_dreams

“Your knot, please, Louis,” he managed to whine. He needed it, that extra stretch and burn that made him Louis’.

“Fuck,” Louis moaned, and his thrusts became unsteady. “Can’t do it here, baby, Hazza, can’t—“

Or, Harry accidentally missed a few doses of his medicine that controls his heat and starts his heat in the middle of Biology. Oops

I Can't Hear You by kikikryslee

"I’m not supposed to be built this way!" Harry said. "I’m supposed to be shorter than you, and you’re supposed to be stronger than me and-“ “Harry!” Louis tried to interrupt. “And what if I’m not supposed to be an omega? What if my body screwed up somewhere or something? What if I’m not supposed to be your omega?” --- Or, the one where Harry is self-conscious about his body because it's not the 'typical omega body' and Louis shows him why he loves that.

You Know I'll Be by JustAnotherShadow503 

Louis Tomlinson, 27, is the personal photographer for well-known model Harry Styles, 21. Louis, an Alpha, has been in love with Harry for years, though the younger man has seemingly not presented yet.

Or, the one where Louis is in love with Harry, tries to be a martyr at his own expense, and is a hopeless romantic.

Or, the one where the author is shit at coming up with summaries and hopes you'll read the story anyways.

I'd Go Out of My Way To Make Sure That You're Okay by littlepinkbow 

This was for this prompt: "Harry's embarrassed about going into heat, but Louis decides it's up to him to teach Harry to be more open about what he wants."

As Small As Possible by Mickey_D

Harry is a rather shy omega who's quite convinced everyone (except his best friends) laughs at him behind his back and sometimes to his face.

Louis is a confident alpha who is taken with his best artist's friend.

Zero Means Nothing When I'm With You by StripedAndBowtied

Louis doesn't know what he's looking for until he finds it.

Harry just knows he may defy his gender norms, with his height and clumsiness, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want litters of pups running around while he does domestic things all day long.

In other words, boy meets boy and no one can stop pining.

Boys Fall Like Dominoes by orphan_account

Harry slips into an early heat while riding the tube. Naturally, that's when he meets Louis.

Looking In The Dark by orphan_account

Another self-indulgent a/b/o fic. This carries on from the same verse of Boys Fall Like Dominoes. As per always, you can find me on tumblr : domestic-harry

Enjoy! -Lis xx

Too Hot (Hot Damn) by louissass

“I’m what?”

“You’re in heat, baby,” He repeats, frowning when he catches the look on Harry’s face. “I thought you realised?”

Or, the one where Harry goes into heat in the middle of a concert but doesn't realise because of the heatwave.

i don't wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your neck by crybaby

Harry has been in love with Louis Tomlinson for four years, five months, and thirteen days.

Harry had fallen in love with Louis Tomlinson like how he’d seen in movies, and how he’d read in all the books he’d stolen from Gemma, headfirst and shameless.

The only problem was, that in films and books, love was always either returned instantly, or else it took time for unrequited love to lose the first two letters, and since the first option was obviously not true, Harry decided he would wait for the second to become reality. And so Harry waited, three years, eight months, and four days, before his heart had been broken by a gentle rejection and a misplaced blowjob, before Louis and Gemma had packed up and gone to Manchester for university.

(Harry is a hopelessly romantic omega and Louis is his sister's best friend)

Drape Me In Your Warmth by fookinglousers

TMH era fic where Harry is an omega whose heat comes a little earlier than expected and really, who is Louis to deny him his knot?

pick my petals off (make my heart explode) by orphan_account

It’s when he’s frantically looking into the medicine cabinet for something to take that it hits him. He stares at the bottles of pills in horror, realizing what’s going on with him.

He’s completely forgotten about his suppressants. And he’s been spending so much time with Louis, too—of course the alpha’s constant proximity is going to trigger it.

He breaks into a sweat, now recognizing the hot feeling twisting inside him.

He’s going into heat.

(harry unexpectedly goes into heat in the middle of finals, and louis, being the good boyfriend that he is, helps harry through it.)

harry, you little shit by juliusschmidt

Harry’s an omega and he’s learning to like it. A lot.

All These Lights by MediaWhore

“People vote for alphas because they’re strong and they’re not only beautiful but also mesmerizing. They make you want to give them all of your attention, make you want to beg for some of theirs back. They’re shiny, oozing sex appeal and a commanding presence, and people always want more and more. Omegas are enticing too for sure, but it’s not the same. It makes people uncomfortable. It doesn’t make them want to root for you.”

the canon fic where Harry is an omega and dreams come with a price.

Pretend It's Okay by TheIfInLife

Harry and Louis are busy with life. Busy watching Zayn and Niall's twin boys, busy hanging out with friends, busy with life. And they forget Harry's suppressants.

taste on my tongue (just can't get enough of you) by messyjessy08

“Babe?” Louis asks, running a hand through Harry’s hair, soothingly. “What is it?”

Harry shakes his head, teeth digging into his bottom lip, sharply. “My—it’s—”

Louis’ eyebrows furrow in confusion, “What, Harry?”

He pulls a hand up to his chest, pressing hard against one of his pecs, “My fucking—her crying’s making them—Lou.”

Louis gasps, understanding. He reaches a hand up, pushing Harry’s aside, and thumbs gently across Harry’s nipple, somehow already dark and swollen, without having touched them once. “Harry,” He says in a low voice, chest rumbling at the sharp gasp Harry makes.

“Lou, they’re fucking—’m leaking.”

(Harry and Louis just had a baby and it's been a while since they've had sex.)

you took your toll on me (you got a hold on me) by messyjessy08

“Well give us a twirl. Let’s look at you from every angle.”

Harry cocks an eyebrow, gaze heavy. “Alright.” Pulling back the tail of his shirt, he spins slowly, pausing when his back’s facing Louis.

“Harry.” Louis attempts to gather his wits, speechless. “Baby.”

“Thought you might like that part as well,” Harry says, a smirk in his voice.

Thick strips of lace drape delicately over his skin, just under the bottom of his spine, connecting with thin elastic straps that move across his arse, leaving little sections of bare skin showing. The straps connect to form a diamond pattern, creating an opening right over where his hole would be. The skin surrounding it is already shiny with slick. Louis’ breath gets trapped in his lungs.

(Harry and Louis have the weekend to themselves, they make the most of it.)

This Thing Upon Me (howls like a beast) by SadaVeniren

Harry and Louis weren’t meant to be together. They’d met when they were put together through their university’s AO MatchUp, a program that set up alphas and omegas based on the schedules of their ruts and heats so they had someone to help them through it. It was pure luck that they were put together.

Lunch Break by purpleeyestelllies

Harry decides to bring his alpha lunch at work and surprise him with a visit from him and their baby daughter. Louis gets more than one surprise.

drunk on rose water by brainwaves

It’s the first time in a few years that Harry has a strong desire to risk everything for something he loves.

The last time, it was being a fashion model. This time, it’s Louis.

with his educated eyes (and his head between my thighs) by orphan_account 

"We're...we're not the same," Harry says softly, looking at his hands. "I don't care," Louis replies back, fire and fury in his eyes.

or where Harry is just a little boy in a world full of arseholes, Louis is in way over his head, and destiny is a bunch of shit.

Everything I Do (I Do It For You) by LSFOREVER

"It's gonna be perfect," Harry whispers, taking Louis' face in both of his hands, nosing close but not yet kissing him. "Always is. You always make everything perfect."

"Good. Whenever your heat finally kicks in, I'll make sure to treat you perfectly too... I'm gonna bond you so hard."

or, Harry's heat is coming up and they've planned to finally bond, so Louis decides to plan a very eventful and loving week leading to said bonding.

resolutions and lovers in the kitchen by orphan_account

Their dinner’s probably going cold, but this feels monumental. So instead of sitting them down on the table and talking about it face to face over chicken and pasta, Harry just puts his hands over Louis’ where they’re settled on his lower stomach, not letting the moment slip past them. He takes a deep breath, carefully arranging his thoughts. “She looks really lovely, Louis. Positively glowing. Her bump’s so big, and…” he trails off, breath hitching slightly when Louis lifts his hand higher, settling it right over Harry’s stomach, and that’s—

“And what, baby?” Louis asks, voice now dropped to a whisper, and Harry has to take a moment to collect his thoughts.

“She, um. She knows about you, of course, and she asked me when we’re—when we’re having a baby of our own.”

(harry teaches little kids and louis writes sports articles. they're trying for a baby.)

Make It Work by fanshae

Prompt: Arranged marriage AU. Harry is an omega who has reached the age where he must be married due to his family's income status. Only the aristocratic omegas are exempt. His parents try to hide him but eventually the government gets word and in punishment, gives the omega to a spoiled aristocrat son of a lord, Louis. Louis is more than thrilled to have his own omega and once Harry goes into heat, he explores the boy with fascination and unintentionally impregnates him. This leads to a boy used to living carefree and drinking the day away with other nobles to having to face fatherhood.

This is only vaguely similar to the prompt so I'm sorry to OP in advance v.v

Stars Will Align For Us by 2tiedships2

"The serial monogamist is single," Niall said by way of introduction when he sat down across from Harry in the canteen.

Harry sipped his chocolate milk. "What are you going on about?"

"Your alpha dream boat," Niall said. "That tiny little footie player? I heard from Hannah that he's broken it off with his boyfriend so he’s single and ready to flamingle. Now's the time to make your move."

Harry sipped his chocolate milk harder to keep himself from replying.

Or the one where Harry is an omega at a loss of how to get past his pining and gain the attention of Louis...especially considering the alpha is always in a relationship.

Watch the Sun Coming Up by SadaVeniren

As Louis approaches his thirtieth birthday his pack is desperate for him to find a mate.

Harry has always expected one day he may settle down with a nice alpha and they would continue to live in his small hometown.

Together they somehow will make this work.

Dancing Shadows by SadaVeniren 

The house was quiet by the time Louis walked up to it. He’d been away for a week and while it wasn’t the longest he’d ever been away from the pack, it was the longest he’d been away from Harry and the kids.

i'll be hurt from the heat (running from the heat) by itiswhatitisbutterfly

It's engrained into him, nothing else matters, protecting Harry at all costs is what pumps his heart and floods his veins. It’s just, he didn't count on the one thing Harry would need protecting from would be himself.

(Harry and Louis are in love, and they are probably soul mates. They just can’t be bond mates because despite the undeniable pull, it's them against the world.)

A Howl in the Night by emeraldharry

They've been trained to become Alpha protectors of their city, tasked to battle gruesome beasts and put their lives at risk on a daily basis.

Louis is a skilled warrior and dedicates his life for the protection of others, along with his four adopted brothers and comrades; Zayn, Liam, Niall, and Harry.

Troubles emerge when Harry proves to be a little less like the older Alphas, finding it hard to become who he's supposed to be and failing to reach other people's expectations towards him as a soldier.

Somewhere along the way, Louis and Harry realize that there's more than brotherly love between them, and that the world they live in requires a whole lot of suffering and sacrifices.

The biggest challenge yet arrives when the choice finally comes down between two things: their love for each other, or their responsibilities to the world.

[alpha/beta/omega dynamics with a twist]

© 2019

Pretty Please (With Sugar On Top) by angelichl

Harry is a sugar baby omega who cons rich alphas for a living. Louis is a rich alpha with too much self-control.

Peppermint and Lavender (and Coffee) by 2tiedships2

“He was there again,” Louis announced by way of greeting. “Lottie was right and she can never know.”

"What the fuck are you talking about?” Niall asked as he snapped his laptop closed.

“The omega, Niall. He was there today. Just sitting in the corner looking pretty. Or at least his back is. He hasn’t turned around when I’m available to see. I know he’s beautiful though.”

"Okay?” Niall questioned. “What does that have to do with Lottie?”

Louis let out a huff. "She told me I shouldn’t work at a coffee shop. She was right.”

Or the one where Louis might have met the love of his life in a coffee shop. But that’s not how it’s supposed to happen.

Shadows Come With The Pain That You're Running From (Love Was Something You've Never Heard Enough) by hlftanna

“Thanks, Ni, I guess I needed to hear that,” Harry sighed and wrapped his own arms around Niall and squeezed him tightly not caring if Liam would be mad. He missed Niall so much.

“Does it really come as a surprise to you that I’m right? Shaking my head, Haz. You should know me better,” the brunette teased. Harry giggled again.

“You know Hazza, you really are so different to all the other alphas out there. You’re soft, caring, cuddly and sweet and those damn dimples. So freaking pretty, it’s almost annoying. I would hate you if you weren’t my best friend. You’d really be a brilliant omega. Nature really did a number here,” Niall mumbled. It was his turn to smash his nose into Harry’s neck and Harry was extremely thankful for that because he wasn’t sure he had his facial expression in check at all.

Or a Band AU in which Harry isn't allowed to be who he really is and the North American Tour might bring some unexpected truths into the web of lies and also a bit of heat that has very little to do with the summer in the US.

Home (It's You) by sunniskies

When Louis left his high-powered life in the city to settle down in the suburbs, he had hoped to one day fall in love and start a family. He certainly didn’t expect to meet the omega of his dreams within five minutes of moving in.

He also didn’t expect the love of his life to hate him so much.

Or, Louis and Harry are neighbors who can't seem to get along...until they fall in love.

sometimes green and sometimes blue by itsmiz

Harry's an omega, and Louis is an Alpha. They're best friends growing up together on the outskirts of Washington, D.C., but they've always been a bit more than friends.

little bitty rattle (and all our dreams are comin' true) by itsmiz

Louis and Harry are young mates in love. This is the story of them expanding their family, and all the love, hormones, and events that come with that.

cradles and crayons by itsmiz

Harry and Louis continue to expand their family.

Just Jump by jaerie

Finally, after years of suffering alone, the insurance plan at Harry's new job covered omega heat services. As a grown omega adult, it finally felt like the right time to try it out. And, since taking an entire week of heat leave would really put him behind at work, using a service to shorten it seemed like a responsible decision. At least that’s how he rationalized it. He was nervous about his decision but it was too late. The doorbell rang.

“Hi!” The alpha said again and Harry took the hand he offered and shook it firmly. “I’m Louis from Omega Services. It’s nice to meet you.”

Want It Flowing Through My Streams by screwstyles

Wimbledon ABO AU: Harry has just qualified for his first Grand Slam, and he’s prepared to make the most of it – that is, until his heat unexpectedly hits him only a few days before his first match. And it’s just his luck that Louis Tomlinson, the resident bad boy of British tennis, is the only person around to help him.

hard to confess by hereforlou

One, they only did it without a condom once (and a half) and not during his heat. Never during his heat. Two, he never once forgot to take his birth control (he’s almost sure). Three, his plan is to be married for a year before he even starts trying for a baby, and not only is he very, very single, him and Louis aren’t even sleeping together anymore. Which brings him to reason number four why this can’t be happening: Louis. Louis doesn’t want a baby with Harry.

(Or, the one where Harry knows he messed up and Louis knows nothing.)

Just a touch of your love by thegirlontheblackhoodie

“What if something happened to you? What would I say to Niall?”

“Nothing, he would have to wait to see my corpse on the news like everyone else.” Deadpanned Harry. Louis’ gasp was all the answer he got. Ok, so that might have been a bit too much. With a calmer voice, he said, “It’s really fine. I’ve walked to the tube countless times, I can handle myself. Just go home and tell Niall to stop mothering me.”

Louis was finally walking by his side and gave him a sideways glance before talking. “He doesn’t know, does he? Of your, uh, condition.” Harry tensed and his breath became erratic, but he didn’t say a word. Louis continued. “His nose probably hasn’t picked it up, and you’re lucky Liam’s also a beta, but it took me a minute to confirm it. Your scent is gettin’ so…” He seemed to struggle to find a word. He didn’t finish the sentence, but the emotion in his voice made Harry’s tummy churn.

--

Or, Harry is a touch starved omega trying to get through it on his own. Louis happens to be the only alpha around to realize it and offers to help.

Face Your Fears by SadaVeniren

Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

I Just Want You to Stay by SadaVeniren

“Remember the vet job up in Edinburgh I interviewed for right before your rut?” Louis nodded. “She just called me back. I got the job. I start next year.” Harry let out a shriek as he said the word year and he clapped his hands in delight. “Isn’t that great! Full time vet job! New animals to meet! A new environment!” He settled his eyes back on Louis, who was still standing there in front of him with wide eyes. “Isn’t it great, Lou?”

That seemed to jolt Louis out of his thoughts and he nodded immediately, opening his arms up for Harry to dive into. “Holy shit, yes. Congratulations. Come here,” he wrapped his arms around Harry and cuddled him close, pressing his nose into Harry’s neck. “Holy shit,” he whispered.

aka Louis and Harry have been roommates for four years, comfortable in their routine and their relationship. But all of that is about to change.

kiss with a fist (is better than none) by orphan_account

Harry and Louis don't get on at all.

BUT they do, in fact, do an awful lot of getting off~

Harry startled visibly, shaking off his deer in the headlights look and huffing quietly. Louis took a final, lingering glance along his scant frame, except the puppy chub at his hips, and then kept washing his hands with a faint sneer. He expected words, biting and sarcastic, as usual. Instead, he was met with silence. Confused, Louis turned back to him as he dried his hands, ready with a scathing remark. It died on his tongue. Harry's eyes were locked, very deliberately, on his crotch. His crotch, which was still unzipped, and therefore dick on display. Oh fuck.

“My eyes are up here, Styles,” Louis growled, cheeks flushing despite himself as he reached to do up his fly.

“Leave it.” It rasped from Harry's throat, thick and shaky. Louis froze, fingers cupping himself.

“Excuse me?”

Sigh Softly by aalexandravictoriaa

It was an unconventional nest, to say the least. Quite inconvenient too, not that Louis would ever dare admit that. The fact that his omega was nesting could only mean that he was pregnant and Louis’ chest rumbled at the mere thought. Harry stirred from his perch, blinking his eyes open at the sound of his growling alpha. Louis shushed him immediately and tucked him back into the safety of his nest. Louis just so happened to make up the majority of said nest.

Do Not Falter (There's a Star Ahead) by LadyLondonderry

It's Christmas Eve, and every single one of Louis' family members are crowded inside his little flat. Really, what more could he ask for on his birthday?

The present he never knew he wanted - in the form of an omega from his past - might just make this his most memorable Christmas.

a body wishes to be held & held by turnyourankle

Harry wants to return the favour after Louis helps him out with his heat.”

the beast you made of me by orphan_account

The bell tinkled, and Harry froze as an overpowering scent, musky and thick, crisp and slightly sweet, yet utterly masculine, delightfully tickled his senses. Harry's eyes slowly slid up to see the source of this wonderful scent, and his breath was taken away at the sex god before him, all muscled and compact and utterly screaming of Alpha. Icy blue eyes stared him down, set off by sharp cheekbones, a stubbled jaw that looked yummy enough to nibble on, and caramel hair, which was lazily gelled, a few pieces falling over his forehead. His skin was tan, his hands strong and steady, his biceps still clearly visible even through his jacket. Every fiber of Harry's being stood at full alert.

The one where Harry's a vanilla-sweet Omega and Louis walks into his bakery one day.

How Much My Heart Depends by lululawrence

Louis is an alpha working as a fraud analyst who keeps having Bad Days. Harry is an omega working in Quality Support who shares a cubicle wall with Louis and only wants to help. Maybe this is the perfect chance for them to finally meet face to face.

A Tentative Peace by colourexplosion

“I dunno.” Harry’s not whining, he’s not. He pulls himself free, finally, turns away and busies himself again with the dishes. “I didn’t want it to be weird.”

“It’s not weird,” Louis says, appearing in Harry’s periphery when he leans against the sink. “Biology, innit? You know I’m always here for you.”

It stings. Louis won’t sit and have a conversation with Harry, but sure, he’ll fuck him through a heat like it’s nothing. “It’s a little more than biology,” he mumbles, but Louis either doesn’t hear him (not likely) or flat out ignores him (very likely).

(Or, A/B/O featuring omega!harry and alpha!louis.)

Seeing Blind by zedi

Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”

OR the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.

wanna taste your heart, don't interfere by orphan_account

Harry still remembers how unsure he felt when he first told Louis, how self-conscious he was. Louis had been nothing but understanding and kind, though, reassuring him that nothing’s going to change between them, that they’re still best friends regardless of sex. Harry had been mostly relieved at that, because he really doesn’t want to lose Louis as a friend over this, but another part of him had been a bit sad because… well, because nothing changed between them. Or rather, there is change, but it’s completely one-sided as far as Harry can tell.

This change being him not getting enough of the way Louis smells. He just can’t help it, is the thing, unable to stop himself from trying to subtly press his nose against the fabric of Louis’ shirt by his shoulders. He still smells like faint cologne and sweat, which is enough to make Harry start feeling slightly dizzy.

(harry presents as an omega, louis is his alpha best friend, and there are hidden feelings that just get harder to control.)

A Distant Hazy Light by green_feelings

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.

London Calls Me a Stranger by Thatscoolbutwhataboutlarry

"Hello, my beautiful, conceited coquette."

"Hi, daddy."

Or the one where Harry is a tease, and Louis is his new neighbour.

Between the Shadow and the Soul by orphan_account

“It’s just easier to stay in Donny and train, Haz,” Louis says quietly. “Two transatlantic flights in less than a week right before a big match is a terrible idea. We should have known that before, but...”

Harry nods. It’s reasonable. It’s totally, completely reasonable and Harry can support that. Another five or six days of not being able to hold Louis’ hand and kiss him sweetly is killing Harry, but he can handle it. “Okay, so that’s, what, the 20th that you’ll be coming over here?”

Louis hesitates, and Harry has to bite back a frustrated growl. “I’ve got writing sessions and time in the studio scheduled as of yesterday, plus I’m supposed to get papped clubbing in London again and just… it’s shit but there’s no time to make the trip until early May, at the least.”

Or, Harry and Louis spend a month apart.

Wonderland by jacaranda_bloom

Louis has always loved lazy mornings in bed with his mate, but now that his Omega is carrying their pup, they’ve reached a whole new level of wonderment.

OR the one where Louis loves to worship his Omega’s body and Harry loves to let him.

All I Needed by FallingLikeThis

Harry is the omega captain of the Slytherin quidditch team with a team that won't listen to him. Louis is the alpha captain of the Gryffindor team who doesn't know how to offer help without seeming like a knothead, pushing his opinions on Harry. When he comes up with a rather questionable plan to try and get Harry to ask him for help, they may just both get what they need.

Come In and Change My Life by lightswoodmagic (sarah_writes)

He’d had the same neighbours since he’d moved into the building, a lovely, wealthy couple in their late sixties who had always invited him around for tea on Sundays. Martha had dropped off homemade biscuits the day he’d moved in, so Harry figured he may as well repeat the sentiment. He could hear someone getting closer to the door just as a flush ran through his body; oh fuck. His heat was close, too close to be knocking on a potentially unknown alpha’s door, but it was too late. The door swung open, and Harry’s mouth dropped. He’d never been overly interested in football, couldn’t find the fascination in watching men run around after a ball for hours aside from their uniforms, but he knew who this was. Louis Tomlinson, alpha, captain of Manchester United, star in a number of Harry’s heat addled fantasies, was his new next-door neighbour.

Or, Harry and Louis become friends when Harry looks after Louis' cat during away games, until one night at a party changes everything between them. It's just a shame Louis' going to be away for the FIFA World Cup for three months.

Put It Into Words by orphan_account

“It’s a good storm though, our families,” Louis says, flopping down on to the bed and cuddling close to Harry. He tucks his arm around Harry’s waist, kissing his temple. “The Cheshire house is perfect to raise the baby; your mum’s close, and my mum can stay in the guest bedroom when she visits.”

“And until then we have the long weekend to ourselves.”

Or, Harry and Louis go on a babymoon.

No Love Like Your Love by Rearviewdreamer 

When it comes to saving the world from itself and convincing rich CEOs of environmentally harmful companies to go green, there's nobody better than Harry Styles. That is, until Louis Tomlinson, his ex and former Alpha, is involved.

We Are Inevitable by mmargarita

“What’s the second flaw?”

“The second inevitable flaw in your plan is:” Louis stood straight and walked towards Harry, grabbing his chin. Harry’s breath hitched. “Us.” Louis smiled. “We’re inevitable, baby. We’re soulmates, and we both know it. You just need to come back to me.” . . . 30/07/2020: This work has been edited and corrected, and now has 7k words more.

Take Me As I Am by lovelarry10

“Suppressant? But… why would I need a suppressant? Alphas don’t take suppressants.”

“You’re right, they don’t.”

****

Secrets. Lies. Deception. Betrayal. Self-discovery.

Alpha. Omega. How far will they go to hide the truth?

to wrap me in paper by juliusschmidt

Louis hasn't been keeping track of his ruts, but, it turns out, Harry has.

If you’ve made it to the end then congrats! and please stay safe and read the tags!!💕💕

[quiltwork]

TW: Processing Session of Childhood Emotional Neglect

This one was hard to break through, it was deeply imbedded in dissociation. So I gathered new coping mechanisms and it eventually gave way! :)

At 12 years old, I was isolating myself from playing outside and with others by staying in my room. I felt I didn’t have many, if any, friends anyway, and the world was a dangerous place. I also felt I didn’t belong outside anymore. So the only person I could turn to was mom.

I wanted her to play video games with me. But she brushed me off with, “I’m too busy, I don’t care about that, maybe later, go play by yourself, why are you bothering me?” until I managed to get her in there to sit on my bed, where I felt tense to entertain her to stay. She sat there distant and emotionless, annoyed. In the end, she walks out, telling me she hates childish things like that.

What I was really trying to do was find comfort in my mother after enduring so many ongoing traumas since 2 years ago, but I concluded if she didn’t care enough to sit through something boring just to be with me, then I had no one and I didn’t deserve to live. 

I carried that intense hurt and anxiety, loneliness and grief, and thought to play dead and daydream about making new friends and being adopted, rescued by a secret admirer, and feeling I was slowly decaying from the inside or already a walking ghost. I wrote up these stories, colored in coloring books about it and drew myself crying during one of my scenes.

I tried to show my mom and sister that picture and tell them the story. My mom’s barely there confusing appraisal of it overshadowed by my adult sister degrading the way I drew my body and comparing it to her more “perfectly developed body”, and a fight broke out. Another screaming match between them, mom breaks her finger, and she runs off to the hospital, leaving me behind with my unstable, suicidal sister.

I lose my mind because I can’t believe she left me behind with her again, after last time when she was drunk babysitting me and left me with bruises. 

By 13, I was suppressed again from guidance for the abnormal way in which the first people I fell in love with were girls, I was hushed and ignored, taught only to avoid speaking about it in school or with family so I won’t be bullied or excluded. So I felt I was bad and disgusting because even my mom won’t tell me why I feel this way and what to do about it, only to hide how I feel some more. 

My family role was a mixture of Favorite Child/Invisible Child compared to my sister’s role of Scapegoat. My sister was jealous of me, I didn’t know why mom treated her that way, I just tried my best to be good so I didn’t get mistreated next. I was taught to avoid being honest with my sister or else she’d murder me, which I totally believed to be true based on her homicidal attempt on my mom when I was 5 and her physical abuse towards me later when she was drunk. I couldn’t ever get her to care about me anyway. 

Favoritism meant don’t express your hurt to your sibling, or to me, and don’t make mistakes. This was the first Mask I was taught to wear. The other was from school officials but I’ll stay on topic.

So I rebelled. “If you don’t care about me, I don’t care about you” was how I felt about her rules. I took reckless action to find love and guidance in replacement of her, so I’d try to manipulate people into relationships with me, and I was easily groomed by an older girl. I’d explode into rage if my mom wanted to argue her rules with me, and my sister when she was mean. Surprisingly, my sister was all bark and no bite. I’d hit my mom back if she hit me. 

When I began to lose my amnesia about my traumas when I was 20 due to being saved by Jesus, she wanted nothing to do with hearing about it or helping me recover. She refused to believe she had anything to do with it, that anything happened, and insult me when I showed symptoms. When she finally relented and gave into taking me to therapy, sometimes she’d leave me there after my appointments were over and I’d walk home in the dark, with my kind therapist following behind in her car so I wouldn’t get kidnapped.

This lack of support often had me in a state of frenzy for a rescuer to comfort me and give me advice on what to do in my recovery, that I often frequented mental health chatlines and the suicide prevention chatline until it occurred to me not everyone is perfect and really cares about you. So I found I needed to learn how to calm myself down and reach out to God and those who really did care and had my best interests at heart.

I processed through the remaining tension in my chest and stomach. Replacing negative beliefs with ones like, “I can learn from this, I can be myself and make mistakes, I can make my needs known, I can be safe” with God affirming these, while saying I need to up my faith in Him and learn to feel safe with Him. As well as forgiving my mom because she couldn’t give me what she never had and was running from, expecting me to give her a healthy reflection of herself. I processed through the grief and anger,and felt real happiness after the session.

In the days afterward, I’d be angry, dizzy, nauseous, tossing and turning in the night with anxiety and a sick feeling in my stomach, and ofc the exhaustion of processing it all. I remembered I needed to learn how to lay down boundaries with my mother and walk away when I needed to, because for as much as I am able, I want to be at peace with her. She does love me in her own way, and I do too, but I won’t put up with anything less. 

[belovedbangtan]

Simple Things | jjk

🅁🄴🅀🅄🄴🅂🅃🄴🄳

||| Masterlist |||

𝙿𝙰𝙸𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶: Boyfriend!Jungkook x Reader

𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚃: 3.5k

𝚂𝚄𝙼𝙼𝙰𝚁𝚈: Based on the song Simple Things by Miguel! Highly recommend listening to the song before reading! (song fic request are my FAV, give me more please!?)

𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂: Weed Smoking, Language, Sexual Content: grinding, teasing, nipple play, choking, unprotected sex (be safe!), Dom!jk, Sub!Reader if you squint, After care?  Its also really fucking cute and fluffy. 

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A cloud of smoke hung in the air, as you press the joint to your lips. Inhaling deeply, feeling the familiar burn in your throat. Some new r&b track playing softly in the background. Jungkook’s long legs resting comfortably over your lap, you pass him the joint. He sets his phone to the side to sit up and take it from you. As mundane as it sounds, this had become somewhat comfortable for the two of you. He blows the smoke out, passing it back for you to finish. Placing the remainder in the ashtray as Jungkook starts laughing hysterically, his infamous cackle bouncing off the walls; easily one of your favorite sounds.

“This video was from last year, watch this…” He sits up bringing the phone close to your face. You watch an extremely drunk Jimin dancing chaotically in the middle of a crowded club. The phone pans to the VIP section, and Taehyung hyping him up. You don’t miss the obnoxiously attractive women that crowd the same area. Your eyes widen and you start to laugh too. It reminded you of when you and Jungkook had first started dating. For the first few months, every weekend was spent with your friends in overcrowded clubs. Fun times, no doubt, but you were happy with your new normal.

Jungkook dismisses himself to the kitchen, mumbling something about having the munchies. You giggle at your predictable boyfriend, extending your legs into the spot where he was laying. Pulling up Snap Chat on your phone, not surprised to see Jimin and Taehyung’s stories. Almost as if they were trying to replicate the memory Jungkook just showed you from a year ago. Drunk as hell, beautiful women, VIP section, it was something to envy from the outside looking in.

You laugh to yourself, thinking back on your own memories. At the start of your relationship, seven months ago, it was much different. Frequently bar hopping with friends whenever we were able to. Once we discovered that we preferred just being in each other’s company, the partying slowly came to an end. You were happy with that though. You loved smoking and hanging out with your best friend, who also happened to be your boyfriend. You find yourself replaying Jimin and Taehyungs story, until you click on Jungkook’s; nothing. Peaking behind you to see him finishing off an apple, you start to think.

You were comfortable with spending your nights like this. Having moved in with each other a month ago, you loved being able to spend your free nights together. Watching a movie, cuddled up on the couch, listening to music, experimenting with food. Whatever you did, it made you happy. This was the first time you wondered if maybe he felt different than you. What if he wants to go out but doesn’t say anything because he knows how much you love staying home?

You get up from your spot on the couch, a stolen pair of Jungkook’s sweatpants hanging around your hips, while his t-shirt hides all your curves. He’s singing to the soft sounds coming from the speaker, and he looks so ethereal. His long bouncy waves, floating back and forth over his eyes; always made you want to brush his hair back. His outfit matching yours since you were wearing his clothes. The grey sweatpants looking sexier on him than on you, although he would argue that statement.

You hop onto the countertop letting your legs hang over, “Do you want to go out?” you blurt out, attempting to sound nonchalant.

He pauses, quickly turning to look at you. His face screwing up with confusion, “What? Like… tonight?”

You press your lips into a hard line nodding at him, which only makes him look more confused.

“Right now? You want to go out?” He asks you again to confirm as he slots himself in between your legs. He wraps his arms around your waist, letting his thumbs slide against the inside of your waist band.

“I mean, if you want to. I’m good with whatever,” You murmur, still attempting to be nonchalant.

“Well… if you don’t want to go out… why would I?” He giggles softly before pressing his lips to your nose.

“I thought maybe you’d want to party with Jimin and Tae, it’s been awhile since we’ve been out,” you try explaining simply.

He tilts his head to the side, seeing straight through your bullshit.

“Actually, I do wanna go somewhere,” He starts, pulling back and walking over to where our shoes are laying, “walk to the grocery store with me, we have like no food.”

You roll your eyes but you follow his lead slipping your shoes on. The grocery store was in walking distance, which was quite dangerous when you both had the munchies.

The wind is harsh but overall, the night is beautiful. The street is on the quieter side since its late into the night. Jungkook pulls your hand out of your hoodie and laces his fingers with yours before putting both into his hoodie. You look up to see him already smiling down at you.

“Baby, why did you ask me to go out tonight, honestly?” his voice is soft and laced with curiosity.

You sigh. You try not to feel insecure, but it was hard with him. He was perfect in your eyes, and you were… well, you weren’t perfect by any means. You constantly wondered if he would want something more, something that you couldn’t offer him. What if he needed more adventure or someone that was in his league? The bottom line was, you knew there was someone out there that could give him that; and it intimidated you.

“I don’t know, it’s just been awhile since we’ve gone out.” You tell him, although its true you know you’re lying to him.

“But you didn’t want to go out, so what would you have done if I had said yes?” He chuckles raising his brows to you.

“I would have gone, I just want to make you happy,” You look up to him and smile.

“I am happy. Right here, with you,” He leans down and kisses your cheek, ”You know that right?”

You force a smile and nod, and he seems to pick up on your hesitation, but he lets it go for now.

Your cloudy eyes scan over the chip section, while Jungkook goes to a different isle to pick out ice cream. Decision making wasn’t your strong suit, so he found you in the same isle 5 minutes later still debating.

“Okay, like spicy or cheesy? You know I hate making decisions!” You pout holding up the two bags.

He chuckles coming closer to see what the options are, “For you, my lady,” He says taking both bags from your hands and putting them in the cart. You start to giggle, reaching out to hug him.

You walk through a few more isles deciding you want to get some noodles for an actual meal. You’re debating on what kind to get, when he freezes in the middle of the conversation. Instantly you stop talking wondering what the hell has your boyfriend’s attention.

Within a few seconds you know, “Oh, if that’s what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours,” Jungkook starts singing to you in the middle of the isle. His newfound love for the song 10,000 hours was intense, he was constantly singing it to you. Your eyes widen and you start to giggle, taking his hand when he holds it out to you. He spins you into him still singing incredibly loud for a grocery store. His pulls you in and you sway to the music, still unable to control your laughing. You back away from him and you start doing ‘tik-tok’ dance moves to the pop song, Jungkook’s voice cracks as he starts to laugh at you. Within seconds he’s right there with you mimicking your dance moves, you’re both dying from laughter.

You jump when you turn around to see an old couple watching you and giggling.

“Oh my gosh, we’re so sorry!” You start laughing moving the cart out of the way while Jungkook quickly picks up the noodles and throws them into the cart.

“Please don’t apologize, you remind us of when we were younger,” The old man starts, looking at this wife adoringly, “It’s something special, to be in love with your best friend!”

You and Jungkook’s cheeks are burning red, as you hear the sweet compliment.

“It really is,” Jungkook agrees softly before looking at you, eyes filled with the same adoration as the old man.

You finally check out and begin your trek home, Jungkook insisting on carrying all the bags if you feed him some gummy bears. His left arm hangs around your shoulder while you alternate giving him a gummy bear, then yourself.

“Those were some pretty sweet moves back there,” he giggles

You start to laugh again shrugging your shoulders, “Yeah… yours were alright,” you mock. Jungkook gasps sarcastically.

“If I didn’t have this bag of food, I would dance battle you right here!”

“You mean… you would lose a dance battle right here?” You say confidently, before your start to giggle. You slowly look up at him only to see him glaring down at you jokingly, you reach up pressing a red gummy to his lips. You can’t help the belly laugh when he quickly nips the gummy out of your fingers nearly biting you.

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Finally, back home, he made the noodles as soon as you stepped into the house. Both of you singing loud to the music that plays in the background. You switch back and forth between both bags of chips, doing a happy dance when the flavors hit your tongue. His giggle pulls you from your food daze.

“Why are you laughing at me!” You push your lips out pouting as you crunch.

“Your little food dance, it’s one of my favorite things you do,” He imitates you with your little butt wiggle you do while he brings his noodles to his mouth.

“That’s not it,” you giggle showing him what you actually do, “you have to move your shoulders too!” You demonstrate taking a bite of your own noodles.

“Why are you so cute?” He giggles. You shrug cutely before poking your cheeks with your fingers. When you finish eating, he takes your bowls to the sink, and you decide to make your way over to his side of the counter. He turns around after washing the two dishes. You lean into his chest and he wraps his arms around your shoulders, leaning forward to take in the clean smell of your hair before kissing the top of your head multiple times.

He tugs at your chin so you’re looking up at him. He brushes his thumb over your cheekbone, lightly pushing your hair behind your ear, “You seem more like yourself now,” He presses his lips to yours lightly.

“What do you mean?” You ask, pushing yourself up so you can steal another kiss.

“Earlier, you asking to go out. I’m still confused about that…” He grazes his thumb over your bottom lip before looking into your eyes. You could tell that a part of him was worried. You sigh, knowing that it was out of character for you.

“So… maybe I thought that you wanted to be out partying,“ you try to pull back but his arms are around you tight, “Like Tae and Jimin are, with all of those beautiful women.”

His brows nit together as he processes your words, “Why did you think that?”

You take a deep breath deciding to tell him about your frequent insecurities. All of your fears and doubts about your perfect relationship, you told him all of them. He listened closely with his arms secure around you the whole time, his grip never faltering.

“Just… you know, I want to make sure you’re happy with me, so you don’t want to find someone who can make you happier,” you mumble, his face melts with the last sentence.

“Baby,” Its all he says, shaking his head slightly, “You make me, so happy. So happy sometimes that I wonder if this is real.”

“You’re so perfect for me. You know, a free-spirit, with a wild heart,” He sighs deeply cupping your cheeks in his hands, “I just want someone real, someone true.” He murmurs pressing his lips to yours again. He pulls back slightly before leaning in to hover just above your ear, “I need you to smoke with me baby.”

You smile, letting him pull you to the couch. He sits in the corner of the couch pulling you close to him, while he lights the joint that sits on his lips. Inhaling deeply before passing it to you. You both finish it off, and before you know it you’re laughing about who knows what. He pulls you onto his lap, you set your legs on both sides of his. Your body feels warm, maybe it’s because of high, or maybe its because of how much you love him.

His eyes are heavy as he stares up at you his fingers finding their way beneath the loose t-shirt on your body, “Are you happy with me?” He asks out of nowhere, “is there anything I could do to make you happier?”

You take a deep breath, the THC making it hard for you to think too deeply about the answer. You didn’t need to think hard because it was simple, you were happy.

“I just want the simple things,” You say quietly leaning forward to capture his lips in yours, “Someone to smoke with me, laugh with me, lay with me,” You kiss him between each phrase, you pull back to make sure he has your attention, “I just want you.”

He smiles big, taking his hand and wrapping it around the back of your neck to pull you close to him. You brace yourself against his chest, noticing the way his heart feels like it might beat out of his chest. His lips attach to yours but this time it’s needy. He presses into them letting his tongue dance along your lower lip. You feel him start to harden beneath you, and you can’t stop yourself from grinding down onto him. The moan that finds its way from his mouth to yours makes your body weak.

He pulls you closer to him, bringing himself forward on the couch. You wrap your legs around his waist, as he gently pulls his t-shirt from your body. Palming at your tits as soon as his eyes hit them. You throw your head back and he leans forward to leave love bites on the column of your throat. You reach forward to wrap your arms around his shoulders, running your fingers through his hair; tugging softly. He pulls you impossibly closer, your clothed heat pressed against his hard on. You moan into his mouth when he starts to kiss you again. Bucking your hips into him, he pulls back and brings his lips to your sensitive nipples. Massaging your left while his tongue teases the right, then switching. His hand slides up to your throat and your eyes finally meet his blown-out pupils, full of lust and love. His fingers tighten around your throat while he holds you close to his body with his other arm. He turns you both, leaning you back until your laying flat on the couch. His hand still firm around your throat, he leans forward to kiss you again; pressing his hard on into your groin making you whine.

He smiles before nipping at your neck, still pressing himself into where you need him the most. The friction is making you crazy and he knows it, “Baby…” you whimper and he lets out a quiet laugh into your skin. He moves down your body slowly, leaving hickeys in his path, “What baby? What do you need?” He coos, instantly snapping his hips into yours. You throw your head back whining again, “Come on princess, use your words,” He laughs again before sucking the skin of your thigh into his mouth. The purple mark is fresh compared to the dull ones from the nights previous. It’s like it’s his own private masterpiece, he runs his thumb over it before sitting up between your legs. He looks down at you and cocks his head, your bottom lip comfortably in-between your teeth. His fingers slide under the band of your sweatpants and he starts to pull them from your legs antagonizing slow. You wiggle your legs trying to speed up the process, only making him slow down even more.

“Mm no panties?” He licks his lips as notices how wet you are, ”Tell me what you want baby,” He says again, pulling the sweatpants from his own legs.

“I want you to fuck me, Kookie.” You lean forward reaching out for his hard cock, but he wraps his hands around your wrist. Pushing them into the couch, as he hovers over your body. He looks down at you, as the tip of his cock teases your clit. Your eyes are drawn to the way the veins in his biceps are popping out, then to the way his abs flex each time he thrust forward, “Please.” You beg finally meeting his eyes, and they seem to soften at your magic word.

Reaching down he lines himself up then slides inside of you torturously slow. Both of you inhaling deeply when he bottoms out and stops. Something you both loved the feeling of in general, but when you were high it was comparable to euphoria.

“You feel so fucking tight for me princess,” He moans pulling back, dragging his cock against your walls. You want to respond but the words hang on your lips, all you can formulate is whimper. Leaning forward on his forearms on each side of your head, he nudges your face to the side. Letting his teeth graze the shell of your ear. The sound of his moans and whimpers was enough to through you over the edge. He feels it when you start to tighten around him, his teeth finding the juncture of your shoulder and neck. Pressing his lips delicately before he starts to suck hard.

“I-Im so close, please,” You start to beg, you don’t know what you’re begging for exactly, but you have a feeling that he does. He quickens his pace, leaning up and pressing your thighs further apart. He takes his thumb to his mouth, collecting his spit before rubbing it into your clit with the perfect amount of pressure. Your hips start to buck up into his thrust, having a mind of their own. He takes it upon himself to pull your hips up to his, the new position making your body react instantly.

“Right there! Oh fuck, right there Kookie!” You yell out, warmth spreading through your body from your toes to your fingertips. The familiar tight feeling in your abdomen tells you that your close.

“Fuck princess, cum with me!” he moans and just like that your body starts to shake. An orgasm hitting you like a semi, the warmth that was running through your veins turns into something new. He holds your legs still, spilling himself inside of you. The feeling alone makes you feel like you could cum again. He thrust inside you a few more times, each time your body spasming.

He pulls out admiring the way his cum drips from you, taking his fingers and pushing it back inside of you. You spasm at the action, making him giggle, “You came so hard, didn’t you princess?” He asks you, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before he starts to get up to find something to clean you with. You nod, grabbing his hand quickly before he gets too far. He looks down at you, “Lay with me, baby.”

He pauses and smiles down at you before squeezing himself onto the couch next to you, “You’re still messy,” he says.

“I don’t care, I need you close right now,” You explain before burying your head into his chest. You feel his chest rock as he laughs at how fucked out you are. It didn’t happen every time but, sometimes he fucked you so good that you felt emotional afterwards. You felt like the luckiest girl in the world, and you just wanted him to hold you. He wraps his arms around you, massaging your scalp with his fingertips.

“I love you so much, baby.” He says softly.

You hum into his chest, “Love you too.”

After about an hour of naked cuddling, you ask him if he wants to take a shower. He instantly perks up, wrapping you in his arms carrying you to the shower.

“If you think I would ever choose a night out over a night like this, you’re insane.”

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𝙰/𝙽: 𝙻𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔! 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜, 𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚎𝚎𝚎𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎!

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[k-and-the-arts]

Lover - Willex

Pairing: Alex Mercer/Willie Word Count: 2412 Based on Taylor Swift’s song “Lover.” Read on AO3

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January

And this is our place, we make the rules

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

 It all happened so fast. One minute, Alex was walking down Sunset Boulevard, clearing his head, and the next minute he was getting run over by a gorgeous boy on a skateboard. He wanted to be mad, he really did, but when the boy started talking, all anger dissolved. The skater was charming and dorky and was able to convince Alex to follow him after exchanging only a few words. 

Willie guided Alex to his favorite spot on Sunset Boulevard -- a simple bench that was “the best place to people-watch” as the skater had said. People in weird furry costumes and outfits of dead celebrities walked by, but Alex only had eyes for Willie. The brunette talked about everything that popped into his head, and none of it seemed to have a coherent flow. He mentioned his favorite places to skate, random facts about the ocean, and weird ways different famous people died. The blonde talked about his friends, the band, and the one time they ate street dogs that were so bad, they had food poisoning for three days.

“Reggie was convinced we were going to die,” Alex had told Willie, causing the other boy to burst into a fit of giggles that sounded like music to Alex’s ears. 

The drummer didn’t say much after that; he was content with listening to Willie’s voice and all of the stories that fell from his lips. He loved watching the way Willie’s eyes sparkled when something he was talking about reminded him of another topic, and it amazed Alex that the boy knew so much about everything.  

There was a lull in the conversation as the sun started to set, painting the sky in beautiful shades of purples and pinks and oranges. Willie was watching the sky but Alex was watching Willie. There was a dazzling glow around the boy that made him look ethereal. A small gust of wind blew through the street, causing Willie’s long hair to float gracefully around him. Alex’s breath caught in his throat and he tried to take it all in. He wanted to replay this moment in his mind over and over again for as long as he could remember it. 

There was suddenly a small, sharp pain in his chest; a sign of his anxiety taking over. He tried to push it down, push it away. His instincts told him to run, this is happening too fast, but his heart told him to keep his feet planted firmly to the ground. He had never felt so smitten about someone so quickly before and it was the most exciting yet terrifying thing he had ever felt. 

Even though they had been talking for only a few hours, Alex felt like he had known the skater his entire life. It felt like they were childhood friends, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. But Alex knew there was still so much to learn, and his heart ached for so much more. 

As the sky grew dark, Willie’s gaze floated back to him. Alex quickly looked away, focusing his attention on the fairylights on building awnings and edging that had created an intimate glow around them. If Willie had caught him staring, he didn’t say anything, and Alex appreciated that. 

“I love leaving the Christmas lights up until January,” Willie said suddenly, causing Alex’s eyes to snap back to the boy that was beautifully sculpted under the soft light.

“Hmm?” Alex hummed, hoping Willie would continue.

Willie gestured to the fairylights above them. “I didn’t get to experience a lot of proper Christmases growing up,” Willie said quietly, as if talking too loudly would shatter the tension that had grown around them. “I want to experience Christmas for as long as possible. So I try to leave the lights and decorations up for as long as Caleb will let me, which is usually in January.” 

The question was on the tip of Alex’s tongue -- Who’s this mysterious Caleb? 

But he stayed silent, nodding to acknowledge Willie’s words. He knew Willie would tell him if he asked, but he needed something to look forward to when they talked again. If they talked again.

Willie opened his mouth to speak again but the sound of smooth jazz interrupted him. The brunette pulled his phone out of his pocket and sighed. He ignored the call but stood up from the bench, slipping the phone back into his pocket and placing the helmet back on his head. 

“It was really nice to meet you, but unfortunately I have to go. I’ll catch ya later, Hotdog,” Willie smirked, letting his board drop to the ground.

 Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

  Alex wanted to run after him, wanted to follow him home. He immediately missed Willie’s warmth and light and yearned to be by his side again. He rewatched the entire afternoon in his mind like a movie, and by the time he made it back to the studio, his cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Julie and Flynn begged him to tell them everything, while Luke, Reggie, and Bobby teased him mercilessly. But he didn’t tell him any details and ignored the overdramatic swooning and kissy faces, refusing to let them ruin one of the best days of his life.

 We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

 The next three years were the most difficult and exhilarating years in Alex’s life. While his relationship with Willie grew wonderfully, along with the band’s success, his relationship with his parents fell apart. As soon as he graduated, he packed his bags and found the cheapest apartment he could. He took the first job that would hire him and tried to support himself as best he could. The Molinas offered to take him in but he didn’t want to burden them. The band suffered as they tried to find a way to rehearse around everyone’s work schedule. Alex could feel his life crumbling around him and he found it harder and harder to wake up every day.

But then there was Willie. He was the light in the darkness and the glue that kept him together. 

And when Willie suggested they move in together, Alex felt his heart stop. 

“I’ve been wanting to move out for awhile now and I already found a place that I can afford and it’s decent and I know this is like, a crazy huge step but --”

“Yes.”

The word flew from his lips before he allowed his brain to catch up, over think, and lose his nerve. The large smile that grew on Willie’s face was all the confirmation he needed that he made the right decision. 

Willie convinced Alex to quit his shitty job and convinced Caleb to let the band play at the Hollywood Ghost Club whenever they weren’t playing at other gigs. They were finally living the dream. Rehearsing and writing during the day and playing to large crowds almost every night. 

After their sets at the club, they would just linger around the building, mingling and making connections with the Hollywood elite that could afford to be there. Alex would watch Willie work, flitting from table to table and chatting up anyone who would look in his direction. It was amazing to watch him go from a dorky skater boy that couldn’t even finish a complete story without switching to a new topic, to a super charming and eloquent figure that never failed to convince a guest to give a very generous donation to the club. 

Alex was also pretty sure that half of the crowd was just as besotted with Willie as he was. But he knew he didn’t have to be jealous of anyone in the room. He knew he had Willie’s entire heart, just as Willie had his. And at the end of the night, he would be the one that would be holding Willie’s hand, and kissing Willie’s lips, and laying next to him in bed.

And if their friends got a little too drunk to drive home, he would be the one to help Willie carry them back to their apartment. He would be the one helping Willie rearrange the living room so that their friends had a place to sleep. He would be the one thanking him for being the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. 

 Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

 Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

  That same night, Alex was lying against Willie on the couch, playing with the skater’s rough, yet surprisingly soft fingers. Their friends were asleep, sprawled out everywhere on the living room floor, and Alex wished he could just freeze time and just stay in this moment forever. He was surrounded by his love and support and he couldn’t imagine anything better than this. Not until Willie whispered those words.

“Have you ever thought about marriage?” 

Alex sucked in a breath and his fingers were still against Willie’s. Had Alex thought about marriage? 

All the time.

Ever since they moved in together two years prior. But he always thought that it was too big of a thought; too obsessive. He didn’t want to scare Willie by moving too fast, even if they were just flashing ideas in his mind. He didn’t want Willie to leave him because he was too dependent, too attached to their relationship, too--

Alex realized how silent he had been and tried to scrounge up words so that Willie didn’t think he was freaked out, even if he kinda was.

But Willie didn’t seem to be bothered by Alex’s silence. Because Willie knew Alex so well. He knew exactly how Alex would react if he were to ask that kind of question. Willie continued, “I’ve thought about it a lot, recently. I’ve thought about us and this thing we’re doing. I don’t know all the details or anything, but I do know one thing for sure,” Willie paused and Alex looked up at him, waiting for the deep sentiment the boy was about to share. “Luke would definitely be the flower girl.”

This threw Alex into a fit of giggles and Willie’s smile was radiant. “I think Ruby would fight Luke for that position,” Alex said through his laughter.

At the mention of his sister, he sobered up. He had no doubt Ruby would absolutely want to be a part of his wedding; she would probably want to plan everything herself. He just hoped his parents would want to be there as well. Even if they didn’t agree with it, he’d hope they would at least care enough to see him happy. Thinking about how he would tell his parents and how they would react, his thoughts started to spiral once again.

It was as if Willie could sense his anxiety rising. He laced his fingers with Alex’s and squeezed reassuringly. 

Alex could feel Willie’s chest rumble as he spoke again. “We’re not gonna have a traditional wedding though. Those are too boring. Maybe we’ll do something crazy like have all the girls be groomsman and all the guys be bridesmaids. Or however it’ll work for us.” Alex didn’t really know either, but nodded in agreement. “And no traditional vows. We gotta get creative. Like, I dunno.  ‘I, Wilhelm Covington the Third,’”

“Willie, your first name isn’t Wilhem and you’re definitely not a ‘third,’” Alex chuckled, grinning up at his boyfriend.

“Shush, that’s what makes it creative. Now where was I? Oh yeah,

‘I, Wilhelm Covington the Third, with all the skateboard scars on my hand, take this magnetic force of a man,’” Willie paused, and Alex could practically see the smoke coming out of his ears as he tried to think of something funny. When that famous smirk crossed his features, Alex was ready to cringe. “‘I take this magnetic force of a man, Hotdog, to be my husband. Through cracked helmets and bad street dogs, and even when we’re ghosts.’”

Alex rolled his eyes but his smile only grew wider. He decided to play along, “and I promise to be super over-dramatic and constantly swooning over you.” 

“And you’ll save all your worst jokes for me. I want your lamest and dirtiest and cringiest jokes,” Willie added.

Alex nodded in agreement, trying to think of other funny vows. But the more he thought about it, the more everything was sinking in. Willie continued to ramble about silly vows and untraditional wedding things they could do. But all Alex could think about was the fact that Willie wanted to marry him. 

Willie wanted to marry him. 

He wanted to be Alex’s husband. He wanted to be Alex’s forever. No matter what life threw their way, Willie wanted to be by Alex’s side. He wanted to go everywhere and do everything with Alex. Through sickness, health, and everything in between. 

Alex looked back up at Willie and pushed himself up to interrupt his boyfriend with a gentle kiss to the lips. 

“Yes,” Alex whispered, his heart pounding and anxiety -- no, excitement -- filling his chest.

“Yes?”

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

 Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Oh, you're my, my, my, my

Darling, you're my, my, my, my

Lover

[ninliane]

baby on board - osamu miya x reader

summary: you try to tell osamu you’re pregnant as well as atsumu loosing a few years of his life. probs one of my favorite stories :> (also kinda based off modern family episodes)

---

“Hey so I’m going down to the restaurant to try and close that deal on the Tokyo branch,” Osamu said grabbing his wallet and phone. “I really need this to work out so I won’t be back until the evening.” 

“Yeah, of course. Your brother, his team, and the old team all confirmed for the dinner at seven.” You stated, looking through the cabinets to see if you needed any groceries. As you closed the last one you saw Osamu pacing around the kitchen through the living room, a frown on his face as he looked under the cushions. You sighed, knowing what he was looking for. 

You walked up to him, not stopping when picked up his wallet from the kitchen counter and handing it to him. “You left it there two seconds ago.” 

“Sorry,” he responded grabbing it out of your hand. “This is a really important meeting and the last thing I need is any more stress. I’ll know their decision soon but I just don’t want anything unexpected to happen today.” 

You tensed up at that last part. “Yup nothing unexpected happening,” you held your head high averted your gaze and swallowed. 

“See you tonight,” and he left the house.

The thing is you had just found out that you were pregnant two nights ago. You haven’t told anyone yet as you wanted your husband to be the first to find out as he is the father of your child. The night before you had snuck out to buy another test just to confirm it, and again this morning at 4 am to dispose of the test and box before he could find out. 

You had planned to tell him today on his birthday but the meeting for long-awaited Tokyo branch had come. That meeting could have gone two ways, he could have it approved making his life-long dream come true along with having a son, or it could get rejected and he could break down or get mad if you told him you two were expecting a child. 

You couldn’t blame him, you need to be financially stable to support your family. And since you didn’t have a job at the moment as he insisted he would work, he was the only one supporting you.

Who knows how much one branch could make your family last.

Trying to push the negative thoughts aside for the rest of the morning you try to relax. You eat come of the onigiri’s for lunch, careful about what you put into your body from now on. It was only until you heard the doorbell in the afternoon were you anxious about the meeting. You got up and opened it to see a grinning blond. 

“Hiya sis,” Atsumu waved, “Thought ya might need help preparing the birthday dinner.” 

You sighed and gave a weak smile. “You’re a lifesaver thank you.” 

Atsumu talked aimlessly about his day, his training, and the team as you two cooked in the kitchen. Honestly, you were only half listening as you stirred the pot of sauce, nodding at whatever came out of his mouth due to yourself being anxious.

“So then Omi-kun was all like ‘you’re so lame. my serves are better.’”

“Mhm,” 

“And obviously I was upset because Shoyo distracted me from that last serve and messed up my groove,”

“Yeah..”

“But then I read somewhere on the internet that teasing is flirting? Kinda like little boy pulling little girls hair to get her attention. Do you think he-”

“I’m pregnant.”

You finally turn to him with a worried look plastered all over your face, leaving the wooden spoon in the pot. Atsumu’s eyes widened as he gasped and looked at your stomach, “You’re gonna get fat..” he whispered. 

You creased your eyebrows as he quickly waved his hands, “I mean, wow.” he looked at you and grinned, “Yer having a baby! Samu’s gonna be a dad,” he then let out another gasp in realization, “I’m gonna be an uncle! Oh my gosh, (y/n)!” he hugged you as you chuckled and held him, finally happy that you told someone. 

“Yeah, I’m really excited about it.”

“How did my brother take it?” he asked as he pulled back, his hands on your arms. 

You looked sideways and furrowed your brows. “I just confirmed it last night, I haven’t told him yet but I’m planning to do so today, but I’m worried because it all depends on-” 

“The meeting,” his eyes widened in realization. “That’s today. Oh, (y/n) it does all depend on that. But don’t worry-!” he said as soon as he saw your face panic. “He’s a respected businessman as well as a smart one,” his phone dinged on the counter as he picked it up. “I’m sure he’ll be fine- oh my god he didn’t get it.” his face went pale as he looked at his phone. 

“What?!” you shouted. 

“Kita sent me a text, he’s with Aran, they saw him in his restaurant and Samu told them.” 

“No, no, no, you have to put him in a good mood now!” you waved your hands up and down. 

“(y/n) he didn’t get his branch, is that what you’re-” 

“Listen to me, blondie-” you grabbed his collar and pulled him down to your level.

“That is close..” he managed to let out of his throat. 

“My raging hormones cannot take this secret any longer and they certainly cannot take an angry and depressed husband. Maybe tomorrow, but not today! There is another human being growing inside of me so you will tell farmer boy and his friend to take him out for food or so help me my baby and I will burn the rice fields as well as all your volleyballs.” you pointed to your stomach. 

Atsumu looked at you as he swallowed, gently wrapping his finger around your wrist to remove himself “Okay..” his whispered terrified as he took his phone out.

A couple of miles out Kita’s phone rang as Aran comforted Osamu. His eyes widened and looked to both of them, “Aran, can I speak to you please.” 

“Sure,” he patted Osamu on the back as he held his head down on his counter. 

The pair walked into the kitchen and Kita lowered his voice, “(y/n) is pregnant.”

“WHAT?!” he yelled out. Osamu lifted his head from the counter before deciding not to care after 0.5 seconds. 

“Osamu-kun does not know, we need to get him in a good mood before he gets home. Atsumu made it very clear that she has to tell him today.”  he showed Aran his phone.

“Yeesh, he really did.” Aran squinted his eyes. 

“Let’s go.” Kita gestured outside. “Osamu-kun why don’t we get some drinks before dinner, hm?” 

“Yeah, I’ll treat!” Aran smiled. 

“Mmrghhh…” he groaned. 

“Great. Aran, carry him, let’s go to the nearest izakaya.” Kita walked out of the restaurant, making sure to lock up.

--

“Okay, they’ve gone out.” Atsumu looked at her. 

You sighed thankfully and nodded “Thanks, I’m going to take a bath now before the dinner.” 

“Sure, the others are gonna arrive soon but take your time,” he added and she went upstairs to her room. Another notification rang, it was from Kita.

‘I hope she has a plan on how to tell him. Osamu-kun does not react nicely to change. Remember when they stopped selling the salmon onigiri in the convenience store near the school? He wasn’t in top form for about a month.’

Atsumu grumbled and put the phone down. He picked up the wooden spoon that (y/n) had left. Forty-five minutes later the door opened and Atsumu tensed up. He ran to the door as he tried to untie the apron 

“Who’s there?!” 

“Us!” Hinata grinned. Behind him was Bokuto and Sakusa. 

“Oh thank god, it’s just you guys” Atsumu sighed.

“Uh yeah, it’s us. Nice to see you too, Mary Poppins.” Sakusa eyed him up and down. 

“Oh shaddup, you try cooking for a dinner of twelve by yourself!” he shot back, tying the apron around his waist again. 

“Yourself? Where’s (y/n)-chan and Myaa-sam?” Bokuto asked.

 Atsumu sighed, “(y/n) is up taking a bath and Samu’s out with Kita and A-” 

“I’m home!” someone sang out as the door opened. Atsumu’s face paled. Osamu stumbled in his front door his Kita and Aran following him behind. 

“You got him drunk?!” Atsumu yelled at his upperclassmen. 

“I didn’t think he would! He had one sip and he just went like that!” Aran defended, he then lowered his voice “It probably added up the cause of you know what.” 

“Okay, I’ll deal with you later,” he put his hand up and went to Osamu who now stood still, crossing his arms. “Samu, someone is about to tell you very important news that will affect you for the rest of your life, so for once I need you to-” 

“Yeah I didn’t get the branch!” he yelled out. “I don’t care anymore! I don’t want anything to change anymore! I’m fine with the Hyogo branch, I don’t need anything else. In fact, the last thing I need is more stress for the rest of the year,”

 Atsumu’s anxiety went up has his brother yelled in the room. “Tsumu I’m tired, I just wanna go on a vacation and relax. The shop is fine, I can just take a trip to Okinawa or Hokkaido, just relax for the rest of my life with no responsibilities…”

 “If that’s how you feel then I don’t need you to take care of this baby!” 

The boys looked up to see (y/n) up in the stairwell, clearly mad. Bokuto let out a loud gasp, but no one seemed to scold him as they were all in shock. Osamu face turned into one that no one could read. 

“What?” he cocked his head. 

“If you want to be sad and mope around because you lost one branch then fine, I can do this on my own!” You yelled as you pointed to your stomach and walked down to the foot of the stair case. 

He looked down there for a moment before realization hit his face, “You’re pregnant…?” he asked softly. 

“Yes.” you stated firmly, “And if you’re not going to be here then I can do this myself! I’ve taken care of toddlers as a teacher and I can do it again!” Osamu slowly walked towards (y/n) as her eyes welled up in frustration. Atsumu’s anxiety rose up again. “Well?” you asked tightening your fists. 

“That’s the greatest news I’ve ever heard.” he looked at her with the most sincere eyes. 

Your expression softened a bit “Really?” 

“You tell me I don’t get another branch and yeah its frustrating, but telling me that I’m actually going to have a kid, a human mix of you and me?” his face looked worried but his emotions were sincere. “That would’ve made me a thousand times happier than claiming some branch.” Tears finally welled up in your eyes as he smiled at you, his eyes watering up as well as he held you tightly. 

The applause was around the room as they congratulated the couple, and though Atsumu felt like he lost a couple of years due to the afternoon, he couldn’t be happier as he hugged the parents of his nephew and/or niece.

[litegrillgrenadine]

A friendship with all the benefits.

Relationships have always felt like a double edged sword whether it be romantic, familial, platonic, what have you. 

I’ve always wondered why every time I intend to grow closer to a person, I find myself doubling down on a cultivated persona. My own protective shell to help maintain a certain level of distance to keep all of my squishy parts from being exposed. I suppose that’s just from the lens of my own perspective.

The way it feels seems more that I operate in my own personal life like an RPG. My physical form is merely just an avatar in this weird simulation of existence. Playing into my “role” within different collections of people.

Interacting with strangers with almost absolute sincerity feels easier. It’s why I very much enjoy making “new” friends and always found it refreshing to connect with another person on a clean slate. You have more of a option if you feel so inclined to tell your life story to the other and vice versa without any bias.

You exchange contacts, you text a little. Conversation runs dry. It peters out almost immediately.

Or you hit it off, you talk all the time, you run into things that put you off a little. You make a flippant or insensitive remark. They step on your toes by acting in a certain way that you don’t appreciate. You set boundaries for comfort. Access becomes restricted.

Or you live together. Maybe work. Whatever obligatory reason why you can’t escape interacting with said person. Things become uncomfortable and awkward. In some cases it become contentious and at worst combative. You find yourself having to play into a “role” just to keep the peace. Trying your best to make things “easier”.

…But it turns out it’s not easier. In fact all these negative feelings just well up until you either explode or dip out without a peep. If you end up finding yourself stuck, you spiral inward. It seems easier to be drunk off booze than it is to be dominated by your emotions. But hey, ya gotta escape somehow.

Fortunately for me it’s been the first time in years, if ever, that I’ve finally found myself in a living situation where I feel safe. Surprisingly in a home that didn’t feel safe for me at one point in time. Maybe home is an allegory for myself. Which sounds so cheesy but something I find to be true. Especially how it spills out into different areas of my life. Making a mess of some of the more intimate aspects.

It’s been a year since I had a connection with a someone special. Though now it just seems so  pathetic to still have feelings of longing and pining over something so short lived.

 It even came to a point of obsession in the most deluded way possible until I was able to finally put my big girl panties on and read though, and I mean REALLY read through as to why the connection didn’t work out. 

I can try to gauge every possible reason.

 A series of surrounding events and environmental factors that inevitably influenced not only my thoughts but worse my feelings. 

My desperate need for a connection with everyone around me piled up on carrying their toxic behaviors and emotional baggage.

 I constantly felt drained and frustrated playing into my “role”. It so grossly blurred the lines of what was a persona used as a survival tactic and what was genuinely me. 

Though to be fair, it just became much more confusing for me to distinguish which area in my life was safe or not. I think that’s what ultimately bit me in the ass.

I wanted to share myself. I wanted to share the real me despite feeling held back as to why I couldn’t. Neither could he based on my own perspective. It hit a complicated point that from what I can express from my point of view is where it gradually petered out until it was done. The climax. It brings a lot of uncomfortable and to be honest just bad feelings that I have a difficulty trying to elaborate on without getting carried away. So I decided to intentionally dissociate for an entire year. I mean despite intentionally dissociating for several years prior from another yet similar connection.

At some point you can’t escape yourself. It’ll always catch back up to you. As much as I crave connection with that one special person, I learned that I have to operate at a level of detachment in order to function in the world. Things unravel quickly when I “love” too fast too soon. Maybe at best it was just an infatuation. That spark sometimes can lead to forest fire and in one particular instance as was described, “When two stars reach critical mass and implode”. Sometimes what is great passion like the brightest stars, burn out quickly. Red dwarfs can sustain it’s longevity burning for 10 trillion years. I long for that forever connection but I’m better off just looking for a special connection with a friend right now

[yespleasetommyshelby]

Is it just me? ~ Jay Halstead

Song imagine based on the song ‘is it just me?’ By Emily Burns!! I’ve done this sort of different to the way I’ve done previous imagines, let me k ow what you think!! ☺️☺️

(So I spent a couple hours writing this all out only for my app to shut itself down and delete everything! So yeah, I’m pissed🤷🏻‍♀️)

Warnings: Swearing

“Please can I go home now?” I asked looking up at Will with the best puppy eyes I could.

“No, we aren’t done until you get yourself out of this hole you put yourself in.” He shook his head, a small smirk on his face as he watched me.

“Well if it wasn’t for your stupid brother I wouldn’t be in a stupid hole would I?” I sulked downing the last of my fourth vodka and coke that hour. “And I blame you for this by the way.” I looked up at him as I poked his chest.

“How is this my fault exactly?” He asked looking amused as he ordered us another round.

“If you hadn’t of introduced me to him, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with him only to have him dump me six months later.” I said matter-of-factly before my smile dropped from my face completely. “And by a fucking text Will, he couldn’t even tell me to my face he had to send a bullshit text.” I muttered sadly.

I had first met Jay when he came into the ER after jumping out of a third story window, then again a few days later with a bullet hole in his shoulder, and after seeing the apparent ‘chemistry’ between us (his words not mine) Will decided to set us up on a blind date, which then turned into a six month relationship that he ended out of the blue one night, two months ago.

“Maybe we should head out.” Will said all of a sudden. “Don’t want to have to drag you back home again.” He laughed nervously as he quickly grabbed my jacket from the back of my chair, his eyes darting around behind me nervously.

“You just said that we wasn’t done?” I said confused about his sudden behaviour change. “And I’m still sorry about that.” I apologised awkwardly, remembering the few nights where he had to come and pick me up from a bar because I was too drunk to stand alone never mind get myself home safely. “And the nights you stayed so I didn’t have to be alone.” I smiled sadly, sincerely grateful for everything he had done for me.

“You’re like the sister I never had, you know I’d do it all over again.” He smiled down at me as he slowed his movements before his smile dropped. “Come on, let’s go.” He muttered ushering me to stand up.

“What? Why?” I asked turning to look in the direction that he had been nervously looking in, my heart dropping into my stomach as my eyes landed on Jay, along with Adam, Kim and the newest member of intelligence, Hailey Upton, the girl that from the gossip through the hospital corridors was Jay’s new partner, in more ways than one. “You know what Will, he doesn’t get to break up with me than make me feel like I can’t stay somewhere if he shows up.” I said confidently heading over to the makeshift stage where Otis was currently trying to get someone to sing.

“I’ll do it!” I called out, raising my hand as I walked through the crowd, past Jay and his team keeping my eyes straight forwards as I climbed up on stage and took the mic from Otis. “Uh, hi.” I smiled, my confidence from moments ago gone as I nervously looked over all the eyes that were watching me, some familiar faces from Med, PD and Fifty-One and some strangers. I took a deep breath as the first notes to the song started.

“It’s been way too long for me to find it this hard, sitting alone my fingers picking the sofa apart. An attempt to distract from the fact that I miss you.”

My eyes met Will’s as I sung the next bit, blurry memories of stumbling home and crying in his arms over his brother.

“I wonder if your friends have had to carry you home, and stay the night because they don’t want to leave you alone. Way before it was fun, it’s becoming an issue... I know it’s cruel, but I kind of hope you’re tortured too...”

I breathed deeply as my eyes moved to Jay who was stood watching me with wide eyes and mouth slightly opened, Adam and Kim watching me with a small smile on their faces while Hailey stood there confused, obviously not knowing who I was.

“Tell me does your heart stop, at the party when my name drops? Like you’re stood at the platform when the trains cross, are you hurting? Yeah you must be, or is it just me?” I quickly reached up to wipe away a tear that slipped down my cheek before I carried on, my eyes never leaving Jay’s.

“Tongue-tied, screaming on the inside, when I say that we broke up and they ask why. Are you crying in the shower like a freak? Or is it just me?” I squeezed my eyes closed as more tears threatened to fall at the fact that the lyrics fit so perfectly with my current situation, when I opened them I saw a tear slip down Jay’s face before he quickly wiped it away as though it was never there, although his eyes never left mine.

“I heard a rumour you’ve been spending some time, with that blonde girl that you work with and I know she’s exactly your type... And my miserable minds running wild with the picture.” I felt another tear slip as my eyes moved to Hailey who looked up at Jay with wide eyes only to see his eyes firmly focused on me, a look of realisation spreading across her face.

“Or are you there by yourself, dialling, redialling my number? And I’m calling your brother, spilling tears on my jumper again, the way I am.” My eyes found Will stood in the crowd with a proud grin on his face as he watched me, I sent him a wink and a sincere smile as he chuckled and shook his head slightly.

“I know it’s cruel, but I kind of hope you’re tortured too... Tell me does your heart stop, at the party when my name drops? Like you’re stood at the platform when the trains cross, are you hurting? Yeah you must be, or is just me? Tongue-tied, screaming on the inside, when I say that we broke up and they ask why. Are you crying in the shower like a freak? Or is it just me?” I took a deep breath as I looked at Jay while I started the next line.

“‘Cause this would be one whole lot easier, God, I know it’s selfish but it’s true, if underneath some calm exterior, you’re all fucked up too.” I squeezed my eyes closed as more tears fell down my cheeks, making no effort to wipe them away I looked to Jay to see a couple of tear stains on his cheeks that he also made no effort to remove.

“So, tell me does your heart stop, at the party when my name drops? Like you’re stood at the platform when the trains cross. Are you hurting? Yeah you must be, or is it just me? Tongue-tied, screaming on the inside, when I say that we broke up and they ask why. Are you crying in the shower like a freak? With only cigarettes for company? Are you crying in the shower like a freak? Or is it just me..?” I trailled off, blushing when the bar erupted into cheers as I took an over dramatic bow before walking off the stage wiping my tears away.

“You did great!” Will greeted me as I got of the stage, pulling me into his arms and squeezing me. “Seriously, I never knew you could sing like that.” He smiled as he pulled away. “Uh, I’ll be back in like five minutes.” He muttered before quickly walking away.

“What? Why?” I muttered turning around my eyes widened as I realised why he left.

“Can we talk?” Jay asked as he stood looking nervous. I nodded and went to the quieter side of the bar so we could hear each other properly.

“I’m sorry, about everything.” He started, looking down at the beer in his hand nervously. “I should never have done it the way I did, over a text. You know that’s not the type of guy I am but I couldn’t bear to do it your face, to watch you cry over something I’d done.” He shook his head as he spoke, confusing me. “I know how bad I hurt you, Will’s told me about how bad you took it, how he had to stay with you while you broke down.”

“Then why did you Jay?” I asked. “Things were going so well, I was so happy Jay, I thought you were happy too, I loved you so much and you broke me.” I told him, a tear slipping down my cheek which I quickly wiped away.

“I was happy, I loved you so much, for fuck sake I still do love you y/n!” He said loudly, looking down as he spoke.

“Then why did you end it Jay? What happened to make you break my heart?” I asked defeated.

“I didn’t want to, but my job... I deal with some fucked up people that threatened not only me, or the team, but they threatened you, I knew that if I wanted to keep you safe I had to leave.” He told me looking into my eyes, nothing in his tone or his own eyes giving me any reason to doubt his words.

“Jay, I’m a big girl now, you could’ve told me, I would’ve understood, but you didn’t have to leave to keep me safe, you’re more than capable of keeping me safe if you needed to.” I said quietly placing my hands on either side of his face, my thumb rubbing his jaw slightly. “I love you Jay Halstead, and no gun banging, gang member is ever going to change that.” I whispered, smiling as he leant into my touch.

“I’m so sorry y/n, do you think you could ever forgive me? Give us another chance?” He asked quietly, his gaze holding mine.

“I forgive you Jay, but I don’t know if I can get my heart broken again.” I smiled sadly, my heart clenching at the thought of losing him all over again.

“I’ll never hurt you again, I promise, I’ll swear on anything and everything you want, please.” He pleaded, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“What about Hailey?” I asked, remembering the blonde that had been associated with him for the past couple of weeks.

“There’s nothing between me and Hailey, we’re work partners, that’s it I swear.” He told me firmly, reaching out and taking my face in his hands as my own dropped down to rest on his shoulders. “Let me make things right with us, please.” He almost begged.

“We can take it slow, start from day one.” I nodded, his face breaking out into a grin. “But I swear to god if you break my heart again Jay Halstead the next time you come into the ER you’ll be leaving worse than when you came in, and that’s a promise.” I warned him, although I couldn’t fight the smile that was sitting on my face.

“I’ll never hurt you again.” He smiled shaking his head as he brought his lips to mine in a slow, gentle kiss. Pulling away he rested his forehead against mine, the two of us stood staring into each other’s eyes.

“So, everything’s good?” Will’s voice made us move away, Jay’s arm coming around my shoulder tucking me into his side as he looked up at his older brother.

“Yeah, everything’s good.” He nodded smiling down at me.

“Don’t hurt her again Jay.” Will spoke to his brother sternly, his eyes narrowed as he looked down at his younger brother.

“Don’t worry, I’m never going to hurt her again.” Jay said sincerely, smiles covering all three of our faces.

And he didn’t, he had told me about any threats that had been made while he was working, every doubt, every thought, he told me everything and we had never been happier.

(I know the endings terrible, don’t judge! Feel free to send in any requests!)

[dhwty-writes]

I've had 'Just give me a reason' by pink stuck in my head all day lol, I humbly offer it as a song prompt if it sparks anything :D

“If it sparks anything”... Fam, I just astralprojected back to 2013 and my first kiss! I had a lot of fun with it (although I got a bit distracted midway through, I’m sorry!)

I also couldn’t decide whether I wanted to do a post-mountain fix-it fic or a modern AU, so you’ll get both! Here’s the angsty one (that’s way longer than expected) :)

Read on AO3

The unfairness of it all as he staggered down the steep mountainside was overwhelming. Twenty years of his life for... what exactly? For nothing at all!

Over half of his measly human life he'd spent trailing after that grumpy... horse's arse of a witcher. He poured his heart and soul into a song cycle just to change Geralt's undeserved horrible reputation! (And to get rich, of course, but that was neither here nor there.) By rights he should claim ten percent of Geralt's income, but did he? No, of course not!

He'd never asked anything in return. Nothing but company, a friend, a tiny bit of affection even. Not love, of course. He might be delusional and a hopeless romantic, but not that much of an imbecile.

He knew Geralt loved Yennefer and that the affection was mutual. It was pretty much obvious for about anyone who saw them together. And Jaskier wasn't just anyone. He and the witcher shared just about anything — food, coin, clothes, beds sometimes, when it was cold or there was only one room left. And, though the witcher denied that fervently, Geralt talked in his sleep sometimes.

Jaskier had discovered that one freezing night in a tavern in Kovir, when he'd woken up because he was uncomfortably warm. Additionally, to the heap of quilted blankets they laid under, Geralt had draped himself over him, too, clutching him tight against his chest. 'Cute,' Jaskier had thought, 'Geralt's a cuddler.'

But then he had started talking, and it had been torture of the most exquisite kind. Most of his ramblings were unintelligible, but those he could understand were unbearably sweet. "Don't go," Geralt would say whenever Jaskier tried to move away. Or "C'mere" and tug him closer to his chest. There were plenty of "Y'smell good"s and, on one memorable occasion an "I love you". None of them were meant for him, of course. But, oh, how he wanted them to be.

Jaskier had fallen for Geralt the moment he'd spotted him in that tavern, grumpily nursing his tankard of ale. He'd been absolutely smitten as soon as they walked free from Filavandrel and Geralt smiled at his "Respect doesn't make history" nonsense, thinking he wouldn't see. They had travelled together for the better part of a month, before destiny had parted them again. At an inn at the crossroads Jaskier had stolen a pretty lad's virginity and Geralt had ridden off into the sunset, not knowing he had stolen Jaskier's heart in turn. 'Good old days.'

Only that they weren't good anymore. Jaskier heaved a sigh that sounded more like a sob than anything else. What had previously been a rose-and-gold-coloured fantasy of a memory, seemed now rather dull, truth be told.

After a few weeks going their separate way, Jaskier had heard of a witcher near Hagge and gone to seek him out. They had travelled again, on and off. Most of the time it had been him, who had actively looked for Geralt, tracking down rumours about white-haired monster hunters. But not always.

Right before the whole child surprise ordeal, it had been him performing in a tavern and Geralt barrelling inside, interrupting him mid-song. "Jaskier!" the witcher had shouted. "There you are. I've got a contract, come with me?"

Or that other time in early fall. He'd gotten himself a comfortable place for the winter in the home of some noble lady, who he'd been entertaining with music, poems and other uses of his silver tongue alike, when one early evening a servant knocked on their door, quite adamantly insisting there was a visitor for the troubadour. His host had been none too pleased when he'd gotten up and dressed to greet a witcher of all people. "What the fuck were you thinking, bard," Geralt had growled, "not showing up all summer. I thought you were dead."

All in all, Jaskier had thought that his affection was, at least to some extent, reciprocated. And now this.

After twenty years the moment he'd dreaded had finally come. Twenty years of lavishing Geralt with love. Geralt, the person who'd been told he couldn't feel, mustn't feel. Twenty years of shouting his adoration to the heavens, to finally be told that it was unwanted.

To borrow Geralt's words: "Fuck." He needed a drink.

~*~

Geralt of Rivia was an idiot and he knew it. The revelation had dawned on him almost instantly after his foolish outbreak. Well, not entirely instantly. He had a feeling, at the very least, although he hadn't expected the bard to take his words literally. 

He hadn't been able to get rid of him with his gruff exterior before, so he hadn't thought he would now. The realisation that Jaskier was truly gone dawned on him, when he reached the base of the mountain a few days later and the bard was nowhere to be found.

Roach was still there, as were Geralt's bags. Their content wasn't. After twenty years of carrying frivolous outfits, chewed-on quills tattered notebooks that smelled of lavender, they were uncomfortably light.

"Fuck," Geralt said quietly. He didn't know why, but some part of him had hoped to find Jaskier there. 'Where he belongs,' his brain supplied unhelpfully. He frowned deeply, trying to rid himself of that thought. Jaskier wasn't some kind of possession to be owned.

But when he settled down for the night that evening, the forest devoid of any melodic chattering, of joyful laughter, of life, he knew it was true. Jaskier might not belong to him, he mused as he crawled into his bedroll. 'But he belongs to my side all the same.'

Somewhere along the twenty years of companionship — gods, was it truly twenty years? It was nothing for him, but such a long time for humans, who aged so fast — Jaskier had managed to firmly worm himself under Geralt's skin, to the point where there was something missing now that he was truly gone.

Geralt slept terribly that night. When the sun rose the next morning, he set out on another hunt. Not for a monster, that time, but the best thing destiny had ever given to him, that he had chased away with his brashness.

The scavenger hunt led him halfway across the continent, until he stumbled into another tavern on the coast of Temeria. Jaskier's trail hadn't been too hard to follow. Apparently, his friend had been fucking and drinking his way through three kingdoms.

And the bard looked as if he was doing a good job of adding a fourth one. He was more than just a little tipsy, sitting rather than standing on the stage. An agonised look passed over his face when he saw Geralt. He wanted to rush over and pull him into a hug, but then Jaskier started singing and the witcher was just frozen in place. It was the most heart-wrenching ballad yet. It took him only about three lines to realise who it was about. 'Fuck,' he thought.

All his instincts told him to flee. He wasn't prepared for this. He couldn't do this. But Jaskier had seen him already. No getting out of it now.

So, he shouldered his way through the crowd Jaskier always attracted and tried to hide in some secluded corner of the tavern. It took incredibly long for the bard to finally finish his set, and even then he made no attempt to seek Geralt out. Instead, he languidly leaned onto the bar, flirting with the barmaid behind it.

He barely suppressed a growl. 'Fine,' he thought and got up to confront his mistakes. He slammed his tankard down next to Jaskier, scaring the barmaid off in the process. "Jaskier," he greeted him.

"Oh, great," he sneered in response. "There goes my bed for the night."

"Hmm," he answered and ducked his head. "I'm sorry."

"What, for chasing off my newest conquest? I fucking hope you are!"

"No, Jaskier," he answered honenstly. "I'm sorry for what I said to you."

"Hmph, you need to do a lot better than that," he said and reached over the bar for a bottle of strong-smelling liquor. He poured himself a glass and knocked it back. Without pause he continued: "Because you know what? I'm fucking angry, Geralt."

"Do we have to do this here?" he hissed. They were attracting glares. Never a good thing for a witcher.

"No," Jaskier admitted and stood up. Bottle in hand he walked towards the stairs. "You're paying for the room."

"Sure," he grumbled and flagged down the innkeep. By the time he had managed to acquire a key, Jaskier had already dragged himself upstairs and drained a good portion of the bottle.

Geralt snorted and unlocked the door, but didn't comment on it. "What I've been trying to say-" he began, and was promptly interrupted:

"How about trying to shut up?" Jaskier hissed and kicked the door shut. "How about trying to listen to me after twenty fucking years?!"

"Jaskier, what I said-"

"This isn't about what you said! Don't you understand? What you said is only the tip of the figurative dragon mountain. I thought you actually liked me! I thought we were friends."

'Shit,' Geralt thought and ground his teeth. "Hmm."

Jaskier laughed hoarsely. "Oh, great. That same old story again. Why am I even bothering...?" He drank straight from the bottle, swaying a bit on his feet.

"You're drunk," he tried to say as neutrally as possible.

"And you're shutting me out again," he countered. Neither of them were wrong.

"I don't know what to say," Geralt tried.

Jaskier wasn't impressed: "Evidently." He made no attempt to follow that up with anything.

After a few moments of silence, Geralt realised that it was his turn to try and fix this mess with words of all things. "I can't sleep," he tried. "Not since you left."

"Poor you," Jaskier mocked cruelly. "I can't either."

"I can't sleep without you," he tried again. "It's cold. I'm dreaming. And when I wake up I'm alone. Roach is a horrible conversationalist and my camps are too big."

Jaskier put the bottle down slowly, gaping at him.

"I walked the path for decades without you and it was fine. It's not anymore. I can't do it any longer. And I guess... I guess I was scared." The words weren't any less intimidating once he'd finally said them. "You said I talk in my sleep?"

"You do."

"I don't. It's been beaten out of me in Kaer Morhen."

"So?"

He closed his eyes as tightly as he could. It was stupid, he knew. Childish, even. But he couldn't look at Jaskier for this. "So, I meant it. Every word of it."

No reaction.

"Please, Jaskier, I need you to forgive me."

"Give me one reason and I just might." He could hear him come closer. "Say it," he demanded. "Look me in the eye and say it."

It took him every ounce of his discipline to open his eyes and look at Jaskier, barely two feet away from him. "I love you," he said quietly.

"Louder."

"I love you. I've loved you for years, and it scared me, so I couldn't let you know. Witchers aren't supposed to be scared, and that scared me even more, and-"

The rest of his words was silenced by Jaskier's lips. The bard practically leapt at him, snaking his arms around his neck and pulling him close. "You're an idiot," he said when he pulled away. "A fool, a nitwit, an absolute imbecile. The stupidest man alive!"

"I am," he agreed, looping his arms around his waist.

"Why, oh why, do I have to love you of all people?"

"You love me?"

He laughed a teary laugh. "I do, I do. For years and years. How didn't you notice?"

"Because I'm a fool," Geralt said and kissed him again. He just couldn't resist.

"I'm still angry," Jaskier informed him.

"That's alright. But you don't hate me?"

"Far from it."

"And when I wake up on the morrow, you'll be there?"

"Yes," Jaskier promised with another kiss.

Geralt couldn't help but grin. "Good."

[junejalow]

"I tried to warn you" R6 operators/oc

So a friend of mine from Discord, Cammie08 wanted a bar fight with Lion getting defensive over Rook that included my character Saulo "Chameleon" Benjamin with her police oc Venny Warwick who worked with Saulo's unit a few times. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

Idel chatter, music thumbing in the background, people dancing in the middle of the large bar room, the smell of alcohol and food lingering in the air around the bar. A good friday night for the Rainbow operators. Harry had given them two weeks off to do as they please, a small handful of them went home to spend the down time with family and friends. The other's had decided this bar was a good start to their relaxing two weeks. They had nearly taken up one corner of the place, moving tables and chairs together to fit their large group. Their own idle chatter, stories, card and drinking games, sharing food, bellowing laughter, singing. All of it was a major stress relief for them.

"Did I ever tell y'all how Saulo got that scar on his face?" Asked the man sitting beside the urban expert. Saulo had introduced him upon arrival as an old work buddy from his Delta Force days, Venny Warrick had near 30 years experience working in police joint units. The very reason they met in the first place and continued to work off and on before Chameleon's departure to Rainbow. The aforementioned man gave a sharp jab to his side.

"What? It was funny!"

"Like hell it was! Never liked birds after that."

"Must be quite the story then, I would love to hear it." Timur piped in across from them, nursing a beer bottle in his hands.

"No, no you don't." Saulo replied quickly before Venny could, earning a snicker from the police man. "I'ma tell you anyways, I take the beating later." His friend said, shifting away when the other tried to snag him only for Maxim to swing an arm around his boyfriend and pull him and his chair closer. Effectively keeping him from moving.

"Really Maxim?!"

"What? I want to hear it as well, I find anything about you amusing and interesting. You know that." Calmly replied the trapper.

"Right right, so we were held up in Norway around Oppdal. We had this hot lead on a arms dealer who was using the storms around the area to cover their tracks and we were sitting outside just eating and enjoying a good warm meal and this bird of some kind literality came out of no where and snatched food from Saulo, gashed his lip in the process. It took months before we let him live it down." Venny told them, eyes gleaming with the memory as the table erupted in laughter and chuckles at the story.

"You fucker, Y'all tormented me every single time I ate somethin'!"

"And you was funny as hell too!"

"So you ain't gon' tell them about the time you got tied ta a bed while drunk?"

"Whoa whoa, time out there mate. Was this all in good fun or was a girl involved?" James asked from a few seats down, one hand mindlessly twisting around in Mark's short curly hair as the younger operator was leaning against him. Everyone always though they were a cute couple.

"Well I guess that's fair right? One story for another." Venny replied, downing the rest of his beer.

"And to answer your question good sir, there was a girl involved. So long story short, someone in the joint unit decided some sketchy bar on the edge of town was a good place to just knock back a few drinks before we head home after a successful mission. I got drunk worse than a nine eyed dog ever dared to be an-" He was cut off by Shutrat snorting and nearly spitting out his vodka.

"A nine eyed dog? What the fuck is that?"

"I believe it's an American term for a very drunk person." Jager replied from across the Russian, swatting Bandit's hand away as the other German attempted to steal his french fries. He mumbled under his breath about Elias having some and shoved his hand away again.

"Pretty much so." Venny replied, "Just a southern term I learned from Saulo. He thought us a lot over the course of our missions together."

"Look y'all kept askin' what I called different things so I told y'all."

"That... is a very odd term." Fuze mumbled.

"And calling Aleksandr 'Sasha’ isn't strange?" Marias asked, grinning at his boyfriend. Shutrat shot him a glance across the table, cold stormy grey eyes piercing into warm honey brown eyes.

"You leave that nickname alone Mari." The engineer raised his hands in mock defeat, knowing better that to push the Russian on subjects.

"Back to the story!" Smoke protested, growing impatient to hear the end.

"He was basically lead ta a back room by one of the dancer's and thang's got complicated, she tied him up, stole his wallet and we already knew somethin' happened because no one gets laid that fast." Chameleon chuckled, earning a playful glare from his friend.

"No bloody way! Why do ya like that mate?"

"Unfortunately, but she didn't get away. Perks of working with half a police and military unit."

One story turned into another, many of the operator's recalling times of fun moment. Dominic's best pranks, Maxim's CQC record attempt that disarming 4 people in quick session, Tachanka and Finka's drinking contest on base that ended with Doc forcing both of them to puke their guts out to avoid alcohol poisoning, Kali and Glaz's sniping contest which both were disturbed on when they caught sight of Lion chasing down Smoke over a prank Bandit came up with. The talk soon turned to missing places from their home towns, what they wanted to go see again and where they would visit on the next down time.

"Right well, I'ma go get more drinks." Saulo said as he stood up with Rook who offered to help carry. They got everyone's orders and headed off to the bar, Saulo watched the bartender fill out the orders with trained actions retaining to muscle memory and years of work while he chatted with Julian about different things. "Was that story true? The one Venny said about your scar?" Rook asked with a genuine smile. "Sadly. I'm honestly terrified of birds now. Fucker's just unsettle me." Chameleon replied, shaking his head a bit with a chuckle. "So that's why Monty doesn't bring Doux around, he never told us. I personally think she's a beautiful parrot." "I kindly asked him not ta speak about it but I'll agree she's pretty. Just don't want her near me is all." "Seems fair mon ami (my friend)." He agreed, taking a few drinks to add them in with the growing collection. A sudden presence behind them had both operator's tensing, thankfully Rook was the first to speak to the large man behind them. He greeted him with a smile, "We'll be out of the way soon." "I didn't come for a drink, I came for you short stuff. Been watching you since you came in." Julien shifted a bit closer to Saulo, he disliked starting anything or being center of attention. "I'm here with my friends and my boyfriend sir, I would very much love to return too them."

"I don't thank you understood my clearly, you're going to come back with me to my table and enjoy some drinks with us." "Olivier really wouldn't like that...Please move so we can return to our table." "What? That blond you were sitting with? He looks soft." "Sir... please I won't ask again. And don't try to start anything with him, he's a lot stronger than he looks. It's a warning for your own safety." Lion flicked his gaze from the card game in front of over to the bar, he noticed the uneasy expression his boyfriend held and slowly put down his cards much to Gustave's and Emmanuel's confusion until they followed his gaze over to the source of his distraction. Gilles released a knowing sigh. To say Lion was simply protective over Julien was a serious understatement. He was fiercely possessive, protective and loyal to anyone close too him. Rook's brow furrowed as he frowned at something the man had said, before he or Saulo could say anything he heard a chair from the table squeak across the floor followed by a booming voice that belonged to Lion, the name keeping his namesake. "Hey asshole!" The large french man barked as he stormed over, piercing blue eyes glaring pure anger into the civilian. Lion held nearly 7 inches on the man and had a much larger build. "I tried to warn you." Rook mumbled under his breath. "Get lost and leave them alone." Olivier snarled at the man who give a defiant look. "What? Thank you're scary just because you got muscle? I've been boxing for over 10 years and won several belts, you look like someone who just works out for fun." The arrogant man chuckled which was quickly cut off by Lion surging forward, the man's face met the bar with a loud thud. Thankfully Saulo and Julien had ben quick in moving with the drinks, careful not to spill any as a few of their friends cheered from their table. Lion twisted one of the man's arms behind his back, holding it there in a iron drip. "I don't care how long you've been boxing, don't speak to my boyfriend again. Understood?" He said with a deathly calm tone, he wasn't playing and Rook knew it. His worry starting to pool in his stomach as the owner came out from the back, upon seeing the operator's he had come to know he sighed and motioned for the bartender to clear out. He knew better than to get involved with the soldiers when someone pissed them off. Soon enough the man against the bar had called for his friends to help out instead of sitting down which got rainbow's attention. Smoke standing from his spot beside Mute, Montagne joining him along side Kapkan, Doc and Tachanka. They quickly got involved in the fight after a punch was thrown, by who no one could see outside the mass. All that mattered was the fact that the fight was over in minutes, the offending group at the feet of the operators. People around them cheered as they returned to their table, Lion gently wrapping an arm around Rook to guide him back. They passed around the drinks that had been ordered and acted as if nothing happened. Gustave inspected everyone for a moment, stopping at Olivier's hand right hand for any damage but boxing with James had toughened his skin, it only had light marks that would most likely bruise later but lesson learned to the other people. It was soon made better Julien linking his left arm with Lion's right as they sat back down, his smaller hand gently rubbing across his knuckles to sooth the irritated skin.

The rest of the night went by smoothly, eventually the bar closed and they had to leave. Saulo gave Venny a hug and promised to meet up again. Thankfully the bar wasn't that far from the base and most of them walked back while other's went to their apartments two blocks away. Little pieces of heaven away from work on the rare times they got away from work. The base settled down after drunken laughter and helping each other to their dorms, thankfully Doc and Montagne had stayed sober enough to make sure of that. They were like the responsible parents of the operator's that always checked in on everyone and watched like hawks for any issues. Doc made his rounds before bed and helped Montagne go about setting out drinks and meds for hang over's in the morning. Once that was done and everyone were in there respective rooms, the two GIGN operator's went back to their dorm and went to bed together.

[yourpakichic]

Episode 19 thoughts

- I love the boys vs. girls scenes! The similarly layered conversations that occur are an absolute delite to watch!

- Engin making Serkan PANIC over Eda finding another man! Like he really didn’t think so until at this point! But also, Melo trying to make her eniste really panic!

- Selin really trying to play house with Serkan.... *eye roll*

- Their individual monologues caused me pain. They want each other so bad. To only be each other’s. To only look and smile at each other. And yet, those words only remain in their hearts, unable to find escape into this world, held back by the circumstances they are currently entangled in. As true and bright as the day but hidden in the darkness of the night deep within their hearts.

- AIDAN PLAYING CUPID FOR EDSER? I begged for this and I’m actually receiving it? I’m shook.

- Ferit suspecting Efe? I was taken back by it, didn’t see that coming!

- KIDS IN LOVE, they are literal children in love! Their sarcastic responses give me life!

- The tension at that breakfast table would cause me so much anxiety!

- HE CUT THE BREAD FOR HER OUT OF HABIT....I literally can’t deal with them! They cause me too much pain!

- He’s gonna name that horse Eda. I just know it. And I’m gonna fall to pieces.

- My heart broke for Aidan after listening to the story. Her guilt toward the loss of her elder son was so strong and powerful that it caged her in her home. A mother’s pain is incomparable. It’s understandable how Aidan may have blamed herself for being missing in her son’s life and why she tries to be involved in Serkan’s. She wants to be involved and stay connected with her Serkan in a way she wasn’t able to for his brother. But by sending Serkan away at a young age by himself, she distanced herself from him. It’s not his fault he doesn’t trust anyone because the two people who he was supposed to trust in life abandoned him in trying to deal with their own pain while neglecting his needs. I’m not blaming Aidan/Alptekin because it’s his easy to judge from the outside. It’s such a deep and realistic way that these characters represent the dynamics and struggles of a traumatic event and the aftermath. Serkan’s inability to trust and fear of abandonment is real and justified based on his past. Aidan’s fear of leaving the house is justified due to the circumstances in which Alp died. Alptekin’s strictness toward Serkan can be explained by the fact that he lost his elder son (who he clearly named after himself) due to an illness and he fears he might lose Serkan too. Which also makes me think, did Serkan really have an illness in the past? I means he’s a bit of a hypochondriac but I’m thinking maybe just because of his brothers illness, Serkan got conditioned to thinking and living a certain healthy way to protect himself.

- I’m glad Aidan told Eda this because I think it might make Eda open her eyes a bit more. I’m not expecting Eda to forgive and forget but I think it might explain to her why Serkan is the way he is.

- If you ask me, Serkan was pretty fair in asking Efe to claim his mistake in front of the team. Serkan built and has lead this team to such a great standard and Efe ruined that in minutes. They rightfully deserved an apology. And Engin being pissed and backing up Serkan as the BEST FRIEND HE IS.

- Serkan being honest about his feelings and wanting to improve things with Eda was such a good thing to see. It may have taken him some time to get there but I’m glad that he’s come to terms with the fact that he can’t be without her. More so, he doesn’t want her to be with anyone else. Serkan is hopeful about their relationship and I think that’s the first time since their breakup. He isn’t trying to convince himself or anyone that they are over with completely. And I think what Engin said really resonated with him. If they can overcome the truth, it’s true love. If not, it’s over.

- His seriousness went out the window as soon as he realized the flowers were for Eda, HAHAHAH! He said burn the flowers! He’s such an idiot

- HE REALLY DRAGGED HER FROM THE CHAIR, I’M DEAD! freaking children behavior!

- Serkan is really trying to keep the truth from reaching Eda from anyone but him but everything really seems to be going against him! Let me tell you, my heart broke when Serkan mentioned his fathers mistake taking away Eda from him. He cannot catch a break!

- Aidan burning Alptekin’s clothes was so funny!

- Why is Selin trying to dig! Let my man Serkan handle this!

- Efe doesn’t know.... did I read that scene right?

- He’s gonna record their conversation! EFE, YOU SNAKE!

- SO IT IS THE GRANDMOTHER AMD SHE DID SENT EFE FOR REVENGE. But it seems like she wasn’t sure but sent Efe to investigate. She’s gonna use that recording to kill Serkan’s career! IT IS GOING TO BE NON-STOP DRAMA.

- Eda making Serkan jealous like that was hilarious! She really created a whole jealousy scene with that man!

- Eda and Aidan play off each other so well at this dinner, it’s hilarious! The way they are setting these ladies straight!

- The way his eyes lit up when she said she’s in love with him still! It’s like he can’t actually believe that! Idk but I found it weird how Eda didn’t want to even listen to Serkan as he tried to talk to her. I mean up until now, all she’s wanted is for him to talk and open up and now that he’s spent the whole day trying to do so, she just ignored his calls or runs away when the opportunity is there. It’s so not like Eda! I get that she’s given him chances before and he’s missed them and she probably doesn’t want to waste any more time giving him empty chances but I feel like Eda used to understand Serkan’s tone and words but it’s like... she just doesn’t recognize in his tone how much he really wants to talk to her. It seems like a character downplay to me for Eda.

- I’m not that invested in Ferit/Ceren, but that was cute, mostly because I want Ceren to be happy! But I swear, this whole Selin/Ferit crap ruins everything! My girl Ceren deserves better!

- He loves her so much, he’s just playing along with her! He’s so in love with her!he really just said have fun, but don’t dance with anyone! And THAT CONFESSION. He said everything with his whole chest. And she didn’t hear! They will be the death of me!

- He took the bottle! Lol bruh, you gonna need at least 2 bottles to get over this mess!

- Selin really trying to come on to Serkan while he’s drunk and he just straight up says, I need Eda. How does she not get the message!

- YES CEREN! YOU TELL HIM GIRL! I mean for real, what did he expect! But I will say I appreciate that Ferit was honest and didn’t lead Ceren on any further and just came out with it.

- HE IS SO DRUNK, I LOVE IT! Eda is fascinated by his drunk state, he’s so cute, she can’t help but melt! That was such a cute way of involving the title of the show! And that scene is sooo cute!

- Her carrying him up the stairs and complaining that he’s heavy. Him being wasted out of his mind and saying off the wall stuff. I LIVED FOR THIS SCENE. PURE COMDEY. PURE EDSER. I WANT MORE.

- THE SHOWER SCENE. That’s it? That’s all we get? I’M SOOO PISSED! The trailer made it seem like such a scene and then they give us this? The frack? That is unacceptable! That was such a wasted opportunity! THEY WOULD’VE KILLED THAT SCENE! AND HONESTLY IT WOULD’VE SAVED THE EPISODE! Ughhhhhhhhhh

- AHHHH SHIT! She got her hands on Eda’s family, that’s it. It’s over.

- See what I mean. Somehow, Eda didn’t understand Serkan. Serkan never really had a good way of putting with words but Eda understood and didn’t completely twist it around. I honestly think Eda’s jealousy of Selin really makes her so paranoid that she’s able to twist around to justify her insecurity in regards to Selin. Which I just don’t get. I mean Eda did have that kind of dynamic with Selin but she was never super jealous or anything. She always had a way fighting back against Selin and still being confident. I just can’t seem to understand where all of the sudden, it’s turned into this.

- It’s out. The secret is out. But definitely not how it should have been. It should not have been from Selin. Selin seems remorseful about it but I don’t buy it. And Serkan looks like his whole world just shattered. And bless Eda. She’s about to really go through it. The last scene was sooooo well acted! I loved the tension, the angst, the anger!

- One thing that I really need to see happen is Eda/Serkan working on their communication skills. Because they suck at it. They are both indirect and never really say what they want and mean straight up. Since the beginning both of them expect each other to understand with signs or by indirect words and it was cute at first but now it’s annoying. Like two people in love should be able to tell each other anything and SHOULD tell each other everything as it is, free from judgement. I don’t want an argument and then they make up in one of their houses. I want them to talk out their issues, their perspectives! Because both of them have quite opposite views and beliefs so it’s very important for them to say everything out loud to each other. Otherwise, their chemistry and relationship is just gonna be for a show and not hold real value and show and realistic aspect to it.

Overall: A really good episode even though some parts did feel lagged. So the big explosion (one of them) has happened. Now we wait to see the aftermath. Honestly at first I used to think that I would know how certain characters would react but now I don’t know. It’s not easy to say where they will take the characters or the storyline so we’ll see! Tbh, Hande and Kerem are really carrying this show with their scenes and acting so I would love to see them get justice with their scenes! The show at some parts feels like random and misplaced but it’s still enjoyable! Like there’s no need for all these side character storylines right now, like give Eda/Serkan their full scenes in full cut and let it play out! Once everything is more wrapped up, you can add the side storylines! It’s still an enjoyable and fun show and definitely makes me laugh and keep me on the edge of my seat but there’s just some moments when the magic seems missing!

[unstoppableforcce]

for so many years

request: @wannabe-disney-prince a Poe Dameron x male reader! Soft and fluffy, best friends to a confession of feelings. “Hardcore fluff”

Poe Dameron x male reader

this is the first male reader I’ve ever written, so I apologise if it falls short, id love to keep practicing though and I love the request ! this is hopefully as soft as you want, sometimes I dip into angst as my default, but I tried to stay soft ! thanks for the request ! - r.e.

All of the upperclassmen warmed them about graduation at the Academy. That Navy kids, especially the pilots, tended to go hard when it was all over then had to make it to their posts the next morning. And more than a few of the best and brightest strolled in late to morning debriefs, complaining of loud noises and bright lights.

But no one warned them about the few days off halfway through.

Poe knew right away that he had overdone it, he actually knew as soon as he was challenged to the fifth shot. It hit the back of his throat and he was gone.

He knew he had early training the next morning, but for whatever reason, be it drunken idealism or just young naivety, he thought he would be fine. He was not.

One foot in front of the other, he tried to limp back to the dorms, the rational part of him begging for help while his drunk confidence slurred out reassurances to everyone who passed by offering. He could see the lights of the dorms coming into view, he almost made it, and that was when his stomach finally caught up to him.

He was releasing the contents of his stomach over a trash can when you spotted him. You wanted to laugh, he was missing the trash can pretty spectacularly. He was the best damn pilot in your whole division, and here he was, barfing in the sidewalk.

“Hey Dameron?” You called out as you approached, boots pounding the concrete enough to shake him back to consciousness where he slumped over the trash can. “You alright?”

“I had a bit too much to drink I’m afraid.” Poe slurred out, coughing a few times but nothing else coming up. “I’ve got an early meeting.”

“With Commander Feller? Yeah, I know, I’ve got to be there too.” You filled in, trying to approach carefully as to not step in the outpoured contents of his stomach.

“I think-“ his stomach lurched, “I think I need help getting back.”

“I can help you.” You smiled, grabbing his arm as he began to slightly topple over on himself.

“You don’t even know me...” the curly haired cadet managed out between burps as he turned to actually see you for the first time.

“You’re Poe Dameron, best in the class.”

“So you’re helping me?”

“I figured I could use a new friend.” You chuckled, another step forward, one foot after the next. “Also you seem desperate.”

“Not desperate, just... needy.”

“Oh my mistake.”

Poe’s laugh was so bright for a man who looked so dark, constantly on the verge of throwing up again, barely able to keep himself upright. He was still smiling. You couldn’t take that from the bright eyed young cadet.

You only dropped him once, and in your defense, he was so drunk. Like so drunk.

But once you got him back and got him to bed, you figured that was the end of it, the end of your mindless act of good.

He sat next to you in the meeting the next morning and stars... you spent most of the meeting examining the crest of his chin instead of the topographical maps of the neighboring system.

You didn’t know that stopping to help the drunken pilot way back when would solidify your strongest friendship ever. You didn’t know way back when that the war was going to get as bad as it was now.

But you did know Poe was going to be in the center of it all, the best pilot you had ever seen, you knew that from day one.

The memory itself, of how you met, was one of your favorite. How could it not be? The most dashing resistance pilot befriending you through pure luck of having been walking by one late night while he stumbled home drunk.

And Poe felt the need to tell the story at all times. For every new pilot who joined the resistance squad and asked how the two of you got so close, he had to tell it again. Even if the crowd of surrounding pilots groaned as he began again.

You played along, groaning in protest with them because it was all you could do. If he knew the way you loved watching him tell it, how animated he got, how his face would light up with a passion you only ever saw when he talked about his ship or piloting. If he knew...

You love watching him tell it. You loved him.

And more than the brother he saw you as.

Years had passed and you had been through thick and thin with his permanently cemented by your side. You loved him. Everyone loved him. How could you not?

“-And I said ‘Don’t you have anything better to do than to pick up sad drunks?’” Poe beamed as he continued on, ranting at the small cantina table, surrounded by fresh faced kids. New pilots. Stars, you couldn’t believe you had been that old when you met Poe.

“Tell them what you said,” Poe nudged you, snapping you back to reality with an accompanying kick under the table. “Come on-“

You almost got lost when looking at him, how excited he got, how truly adorable he could be for the man he was.

“I don’t-“

“Come on, you remember-“ Poe fought, sipping his drink down casually, but stare never wavering. He just waited, bouncing with a child-like anticipation.

“‘they always told me to ‘join the navy and meet interesting new people’” you repeated. You remembered, of course you remembered. The way Poe has laughed, even in the middle of being bent over his own toilet emptying the remainder of his stomach.

“That’s it! That’s the line!” He cheered and all of the cadets couldn’t help but light up and laugh along with him. Poe commanded crowds like that, whatever he was feeling, he could make them feel it too. Happy. Inspired. He was a true leader. “God, those were the days, weren’t they?”

“Yeah...” you sighed. Those were the days. The days before he realized the feeling inside his chest was love. The days back before the war began and this all didn’t hurt as much as it did now.

The night stretched on, and Poe told story after story, though eventually, even the dashing pilot had to call it a night. So, not unlike the first night you met, you walked Poe back to the dorms on base, this time, thankfully, he was closer to sober than dead drunk.

“Stars, man, I remember the night we met like it was yesterday.” Poe smiled, laying a gentle hand on your shoulder as you walked. “We were so young.”

“We were...” you wanted to melt into his touch, to give in to the warm ness growing within. “That was a long time ago.”

“Besides the war though, nothing much has changed.” Poe fought, not removing his hand but beginning to slow down.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean...” Poe seemed to almost choke on his words, to hold something back. That wasn’t like him. “I mean, you’re still here, right by my side.”

You stop him, turn back on the path to face him, the moonlight all that was keeping you lit.

“That’s where I’ll always be, Poe, always.”

He smirked, he even giggled slightly to himself and you almost began to wonder if he was drunker than you thought.

“That’s where I always want you.” Poe finally hyped himself up enough to come right out and say it. “I want you, with me.”

You shook your head, letting all of his soft time and hearty stare blow right over your head, just not catching on at first.

“I’ll be here, Poe, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You don’t get it.”

“What don’t I get?”

“I’m in love with you.”

Even as the words left your mouth, you found yourself still unsure of whether you were interpreting his very clear message correctly. And when you went to argue, you only needed to meet his soft look and you knew. You knew he meant exactly what you had dreamed he would one day mean.

“You’re in love with me?” You couldn’t help as the disbelief poured from your lips, you couldn’t even stop it.

But Poe just chuckled and took a final step forward.

“For a very long time.”

You swore your heart skipped a beat.

“I love you.” The words spilled out, slurring together with the velocity you sent them flying towards him with. You tried to take it back, to try again but Poe just shushed you.

He knew. He had always known.

“I never don’t want you with me.”

“From carrying you drunk home so many years ago, to now, I’ll be with you through it all.”

“It’s a good story.” He fought with a smile, finally bringing a hand up to rest against your face.

“We have other stories...” you smiled back, unable to resist stepping the rest of the way towards him now. “Better than you nearly killing yourself.”

“Yeah, but, I like it.” He blushed, leaning up to press a soft kiss to your lips. It had been so many years. Your heart could almost burst. You’d loved him since the day you met (or maybe the morning after). You loved him and he loved you.

“Makes me look good.” You argued while still pulled in tight to him, not wanting to let go of the thing you had longed to get a hold of for so many years, through so much.

“Don’t need a story for that.” Poe added, dissolving into a final kiss, melting under the moonlight as he held his heart in his hands.

[propertyofwicked]

Could you do an a-z of dating Tom Blake pls??

ty for the request, i hope this is ok x :)

a-z of dating tom blake

obviously, we’re going to pretend THAT scene doesn’t happen and he just ends up with a tiny surgery nd some stitches :)

warnings: slight sexual references but only like twice lol

a - argue

tom is STUBBORN. that boy will be so wrong yet will be adamant he is correct till physically proven otherwise. this was usually the start of arguments. you too are stubborn, but not to the extent of tom. any argument results in tom going for a walk around the town, to let out all of his pent up anger as he couldn’t bare to shout at you for something so petty. you’d sit in the living room silently, waiting for him to return, which gave you time to think about what to say. once he did come back, he’d sit on the sofa next to you, and take your hands in his, and you’d talk through the problem rationally. since the war, he would get angrier much quicker, the smallest things being able to send him over the edge, so he’d take the time to apologise, as would you, and he’d show you how much he loves you ;)

b - body (his favourite body part of yours)

thomas blake is an ass man. any time he can have his hands on your lower back, resting on your arse - he would. he loves to walk behind you, just to show his appreciation for your curves and whenever he’d stand next to you, his hand would be on your arse squeezing it playfully when nobody is looking. 

c - care (caring for each other when you’re sick)

tom likes to pretend he is tough and no illness can beat him, and because of this, he will work himself to the bone instead of resting. he’d wake up in the morning, his voice deeper than ever as a cough tickled his throat. as much as he tries to hide it, the moment you notice, he’s back in bed with a cup of tea on the bedside table. when you’re ill, however, tom takes the day off work and just lays in bed with you day, not caring if he got ill as well - as long as you were content. 

d - dates (what do you guys do?)

you and tom would have really basic dates, enjoying each other more than an expensive meal. often, in the summer months, you’d walk down to the river and have a picnic, or sometimes you’d lay down in his mother’s orchid, watching the petals fall around you. it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you’re together. 

e - engagements (how he proposed) 

it would be just dropped into a conversation, nothing fancy and very unprepared in true thomas fashion. like you could just be laying in bed, or cooking dinner and he’d look at you and go “hey, should we get married” and very casually you’d just reply “yeah sure” before realising he was serious and falling into his arms to give him the biggest hug you could. it just so happened he had his grandmother’s ring in his possession so he just used that.

f - friends and family (do they like you/him?)

his family ADORE you. his brother likes you, as you were raised intelligent and could have a good conversation with him - you were also a prime babysitter for him and his wife. his mum loves to finally have a girl tom’s age around, as she had spent 30 years being in an all-male household other than herself. your dad was wary around him towards the start of your relationship, but he soon welcomed him into the family after tom had helped him fix a bookcase. your mum was glad to finally see you happy, glad you’d managed to be comfortably settled down from a young age. since you lived a while away from each other's families, your friends from home never really knew your partner.

g - gifts

you guys are not terribly poor but you’re also not the richest, so surprise presents were fairly rare. whenever tom went home to visit his family, he’d return with a cake baked specially from his mother. sometimes he’d return from work, hiding something behind his back, a shit-eating grin plastered across his face and after asking him what he was hiding, he’d produce flowers that he got on the cheap from the market on his way home. 

h - how you met

you worked as a nurse in the war, so when tom was carried in, blood pouring from his abdomen, it was your job to take care of him. something in you nagged at you to accompany him the furthest you could, which is how you ended up in a base hospital tending to this soldier. over the months he was in your care, you got to know each other well, and promised to keep in contact when you returned home. 

i - intimacy (how often are yall getting down)

thomas blake has the stamina of a KING. he is ready to go to town every night and every morning for as long as you can manage - and the look he gave you before was enough to give in almost every night. 

j - jealousy

tom gets jealous of the relationship between you and his brother. he felt as if he had also been in his shadow, the younger, less handsome brother. it was obvious when he got like this because he’d go quiet, unlike his usual joking self. you didn’t tend to get overly jealous, as you could tell tom was whipped for you and barely batted an eye at anyone else. 

k - kinks

tom has a lowkey breeding kink i reckon, not like 40 kids kinda kink, but he loves the idea of getting you pregnant and seeing you carry his children and raise them. having grown up in a loving family, he wants nothing more than to have one for himself. 

l - long distance

whilst you were both away at war, you tended to be in various areas of france. the only contact you had was letters, where he’d tell you about his day or some funny story he witnessed or overheard. you told him of the wounds you saw, as it was the only way you could really pass them through your mind so they didn’t haunt you forever. it was the best part of the week, receiving letters from tom and he felt the exact same when the post came by and a letter with his name in your handwriting was handed to him. 

m - moving in

you moved in together at the end of the war, in your correspondence, when the days got long and boring, the only thing you could talk about was the future - where you’d live, how the living room would be arranged. it was more optimistic that truthful but when the war ended and you met again, you both knew it was something you had to do. tom was so glad he could live with someone who had witnessed the same pain and distraught he had and you were so glad that you both had each other in the hard nights. 

n - nights out 

you’re not much of a party go-er yourself, much rather preferring to listen to the music on the record player. sometimes, you and tom would go out dancing with scho and his wife but it was fairly rare. 

o - open with each other

the mutual experiences of the war allowed you two to be so open with each other. if there was anything on your mind, something you couldn’t get off your chest, you knew that you could tell tom and even if he couldn’t get rid of it, he’d make it so much better. tom often had nightmares of the day he got injured and every time he woke up in fits of sweats, you would be there to listen to him and tell him how everything was going to be better. 

p - pda

you two aren’t over the top in public but often are reminded with a sly cough from will that you were in fact, in full view of everyone. tom can’t keep his hands of you most of the time, grabbing your arse at any possible chance he got. you prefer to be more cute with your affection, taking his hand when walking down the street or pecking his cheek randomly. 

q - questions (what you talk about late at night?)

as mentioned before, you guys normally talk about the war. it makes it so much easier to cope with the horrors that loom over you like a shadow. sharing the experience allowed you both to cope with your own thoughts a lot better.

r - reproduction (do you want kids?)

Y E S. tom wants a house full of miniature versions of him, and it is something he discusses with you often. you want whatever tom wants pretty much, and having a product of the love you shared was a dream of yours. 

s - surprising (what surprised you about him)

he’s very affectionate when he’s sad. rather than bottling up, tom knows how to talk about his problems really openly with you and he’s not afraid to show emotion. 

t - together (what you do together)

towards the start of your relationship, after the war, you two would go on cute dates in the forest or on the river bank almost weekly, but you now you guys prefer to stay home and make use of that bedroom ;)

u - under the influence (drunk vibes)

tom is even funnier when he’s drunk. he comes home from a night out with will and some other friends and just sits, staring at you. every 5 minutes or so he’d mumble something along the lines of “you’re gorgeous - do you have a boyfriend?”. it was cute to start with but by t eh fifth time, you're laying him down on the bed and trying to lul him to sleep.

v - vacations

tom likes to go to cornwall with you. it’s where he frequently went on holidays as a child, and he loves to take you to the places he visited in his youth. 

w - wedding

you guys have a small wedding, just in the church near your house. you couldn’t afford a massive wedding and you didn’t really want one. so you held the ceremony with your families and your closest friends and chose to spend the reception at your house, listening to music on the record player and having a roast dinner. 

x - xray (when he’s hurt)

obviously, you had cared from him in the war, but sometimes the scar on his stomach would cause him pain if he moved it in the wrong way. there wasn’t much you could do, but you would lay with him and comfort him, or bring him medicine with his food. 

y - you (a random headcanon) 

“tom have you seen my glasses anywhere?” you called out to the house, hoping and an extra set of eyes could help.

“no, sorry! where did you last see them?” he called back.

“i can’t remember. they were here one moment then the next they weren’t” you trailed off as tom made his way into the kitchen. he took one glance at you, then burst into laughter, leaving you standing there in confusion.

“what? what are you laughing at?”

“baby, have you checked the top of your head?”

“oh my god!” you said, realising they had been there the whole time, your face going a new shade of red in embarrassment.

“awh bless, you really do need glasses,” tom smiled coming over to you, taking you in his arms.  his lips pressed to your head in a quick peck before he walked back to where he had been sat before. 

z - zzzzzzzzzzzz’s (sleeping routine)

you’re usually in bed first, choosing to read a book before packing in for the night. tom would stay downstairs longer, reading the paper or going for a shower. but when he did come upstairs, he’d just stand in the door frame and gaze upon you, like he had never seen something so angelic. once he got into bed, you’d mark the page and close the book, leaning into his side and his arm moving to wrap around you.