#barry knows it too and just thinks its funny and kinda cute

[rotteneldritchhorror]

Rafe dates/sleeps with girls with shorter dark hair so it's easier to picture Barry when he needs to finish

[mamawasatesttube]

I absolutely adore the mentorverse it's so adorable, I've been thinking about it and I can't help but laugh at how Bart would learn of Tim's little ducklings. Like, Bart is implied to be very handsome/cute as an adult, imagine just the fourth-something flash just comes into the room to mess with Tim and suddenly all the kids are awestruck by Bart. Literally everyone has a crush on him and it either kills Tim inside or it just resonates with him. Student 1: I think I have a crush on the Flash dude Tim, nodding his head: yeah me too. Student 2: wait aren't you married- Tim: what's your point? < 🦎 >

jfdklsjlds sorry i have to change this scenario up because i just SO don't think bart will ever be the flash. my mans impulse for life - if he takes up another mantle ever it's mercury and i will die on this hill. he's not barry or wally's legacy; if he's anyone's legacy he's max's!!!! (plus i have never really thought it made sense for bart to be kid flash and then irey to be impulse. why not have irey be kid flash?? her dad's mantle?? impulse was a name so specific to bart i dont think it makes much sense as a mantle to be passed down, tbh. but this is a tangent.)

honestly the funniest thing to me is how in impulse '95 bart as a hero is just generally not that cool and people kinda think he's a dork or whatever. but bart allen the civilian is the coolest guy on the block and everyone likes him so much. his autistic and adhd swag has them all captivated. i think this dynamic should stay for LIFE bc its so funny to me. he's a little hard to deal with for anyone who doesn't already know how to wrangle a speedster and can be unintentionally kinda offputting bc he's so intense as a hero but as just bart he has swag off the charts.

frankly i think at least half of tim's students, in the pre-"TIM IS MARRIED TO SUPERNOVA?!" reveal era, think supernova and impulse are a couple because impulse WILL just sprint up to supernova and smack him on the ass and then steal a bite of the pastry in his hand. and then he'll turn around and come pester tim with like 50 questions a minute like a dog with the zoomies wagging its tail so fast it's a blur. and tim's just... chill with that and also decently good at keeping up??? incredible to watch.

[mypimpademia]

How would Bakugou, Izuku, kiri, and shiso react to their fem s/o simping hard for anime characters. Example: kakashi, Kuroo, itadori

Bakugo x fem!reader, Midoriya x fem!reader, Kirishima x fem!reader, Shinso x fem!reader

TW: Swearing

Note: this request has been marinating for centuries and I am so sorry, I hope you like this enough to at least consider forgiving me😭

Taglist: @myhoodacademia @bnhainthewoo @iiminibattlehero @ecao @nnnoya @hawklmaoo @strawberry-ice @mixxfi @wolfkid22 @mythiccheroacademia @myfandemons @lilsparkyswife @prettybitch-ki @mindofess @kqtsukisgf @lalayy @1-800-s1mping

BAKUGO.

He knows they're fictional characters, but his complexs still make him get jealous

"Itadori looks so good..."

Katsuki kinda just sits there mad as fuck but not saying shit

But if you start getting that lovely dovey ass look hes gonna get jealous and turn off the tv

"What the hell Katsuki? I was watching that."

"You're watching a little too hard for my fuckin' taste..."

"The hell does that even mean–"

And then you catch on

"Holy shit, you're jealous."

You just have to laugh, which only makes him more mad

But can how could blame you? He's jealous of a 2D character

Granted, you were lowkey daydreaming about them and talking about how hot/cute they were out loud but its still like ???

Katsuki isn't gonna let you watch it till you pay attention to him and he feels assured that you don't like these shitty characters more than him

He'll lay between your legs with his head on your stomach grumbling about how he's better than some stupid anime characters

You esentially have no choice but to sit there and listen while occasionally laughing and making him grumble more since he put all your stuff out of reach

His jealous side definitely comes out more, and he knows it's kind of ridiculous since they're fictional characters but he can't help it

MIDORIYA.

I dont care what anyone says, he watches anime and lowkey simps for characters too

So it'd be hypocritical if he got on your case for you doin the same

He just let's you be

"Fuck, Kuroo looks so fucking good."

Izuku just laughs and is glad you're enjoying the show

He'll honestly probably simp over some fem characters

"Wow... Kiyoko's really pretty."

But he'll get a little jealous and maybe even insecure considering they're sometimes his polar opposites if he feels like you're more focused on fictional characters than him

Probably starts kissing all over your face in the middle of you watching and hugs you

"I love you most, Izu."

And then you continue watching together

KIRISHIMA.

Similar to Midoriya

He honestly thinks it's cute too

Likes watching you get all excited everytime one of your favorites comes on screen

Eiji is able to another man is attractive, he sees nothing wrong with it unlike a lot of people, plus it's part of being manly

So he honestly probably simps with you

He doesn't actually simp but he does point out how good he thinks they look

"God I love Itadori so much."

"He's really pretty! I'd be bros with him."

So... more so you basically being in love with them and simping romantically and Eijiro simping platonically

His confidence has definitely grown over the years, especially since middle school, but he still has his moments here and there

He knows they're fictional characters, but like Midoriya, if they're his total opposite, it'll make him feel a little weird

But he can usually remind himself that you love him, and if not all he needs is a little kiss from you

Other than that, you're both simps I'm your own way

SHINSO.

He thinks it's funny

That's it

It makes him laugh when he sees you simping over anime characters so hard

He doesn't do it in a mocking or rude way though, he of all people knows not to judge others

Plus he probably had a weeb phase at some point, or he's still in it

But watching you essentially stop functioning whenever your favorite characters come on screen never fails to make him laugh

He also likes to tease you

"Fuck I fucking LOVE Kakashi."

"Oh really? How much do you love him? Do you love him more than you love me?"

Probably pretends like you hurt his feelings in the most dramatic way

"LOVE?! I thought I was your one and only. The Romeo to your Juliet, the Barry B. Benson to your Vanessa Bloome."

He'll probably clutch his chest and fall on the floor like you just stabbed him

"You're so dramatic, Toshi. Get off the floor."

He just lays there like he's dead, and the only way to get him to stop is to say he's your one and only and you love him

"I love you SOOO much and you're my one and only."

And then he'll get right up and kiss you before he lets you get back to watching

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[unironicduncanstan]

@alenoah and @icedancerhell did this and ik im definitely going to be cancelled for my taste but explanations below

prince of egypt: oh my gfucking god . bro the music. the ANIMATION. the story too like obviously its based on a religious tale but i mean the way its portrayed and interpreted and how it all comes across was so on point. and did i mention THE FUCKGIN MUSIC dude i would try to sing every song when i was a kid and i think attempting that literally improved my range growing up

shrek: ok when ur a kid literally all u want is to feel mature and cool. shrek was that in an hour and 30 minutes. all the adult humor. and even the shit that would fly over your head somehow still always registered as so funny. every line is burned into my brain bc i watched it so much it was so fuckgin funny and entertaining and the storyline was so depthful and important. shrek for president

sinbad: oh yeah he makes me wanna sin. Bad

rise of the guardians: oooohhg the plot was so cool and intriguing,,, the designs were so unique,,,, also i actually used to. cosplay jack frost when i was a teen osfkjskjfhksdjf i might have like One picture around here somewhere,

over the hedge: every character is perfectly designed and perfectly voiced and the humor was so good. me at like 8 years old watching hammy the squirrel drink coffee and frolic around in a slowed down world was the peak of comedy

madagascar: its just such a classic. another movie where every line is burned into my cerebellum bc i had it on dvd. id say out of this whole list this close to number one. idk where to even begin with how stupidly hilarious it was to me

httyd: lbr who didnt just do a full [lisa simpson face] when you got to the end and hiccup had lost part of a leg. the whole movie had this aura that it was like not tethered down somehow while still being great family friendly media. also im ace sexual and UHH big dragon

--

antz: unironically i think it deserves so much more than it gets. the anti war messages are great the designs are cool and it goes back into the shrek maturity territory where they get to say CUSS WORDS. p much my only qualm is that woody allen had to be there 😔😔😔  

shark tale: ok dont cancel me but i really love the plot actually. i mostly love the mafia shark boy that dresses as a dolphin but even the will smith fish crash-and-burn fame hubris thing while annoying at times was rly intriguing. and the designs are the kind of thing that as a kid i loved but as an adult i do. struggle , w ith, a bit, but overall funny and entertaining story

el dorado: the music slaps so fuckgin hard thats another example of me tryna sing cartoon music to an embarrassing degree. also the Colorse . the designs . and the humor osjfsjdf the only downside is just a personal vibe bc the best friend conflict storylines make me anxious sometimes lol

flushed away: oh my god dont at me. some of the characters are so fuckgin annoying and some of the humor is just so much but i rly did like the worldbuilding and storyline. stupid posh ass rat was rly cool actually. also yet another mafia/gang violence plot in childrens media why is that so funny when ur a kid god

spirit: GREAT MUSIC GREAT STORY! i think the way the story goes like, its Better to be told with regular horses and narration rather than talking horses,,,, but my dumb whimsical child ass just didnt latch onto that style as much as the talking animal movies

shrek 2: rly good tbh all the new characters introduced are interesting and entertaining to watch, but i mostly remember it for i need a hero and human shrek. didnt rly hit the same mark as the first :/

httyd 2: another great movie with another great twist but it almost felt like too much at once for my little brain to handle. overloaded me with gay emotion 

--

megamind: i love everything it stands for i just never saw it until like a year ago so its not that dear to my heart

kung fu panda: not my style of humor, i saw it once and can hardly remember it but i feel like the plot was wholesome and cute

the croods: so funny and good, ive seen it many times actually. but some of the humor just isnt my thing (its, well, crude, which also took me like 5 yrs to get that joke,)

bee movie: was pleasantly surprised the first time i watched it??? it was pretty good and it did kinda make fun of itself so idk why its so cringe to ppl. barry b benson entertained me unironically

chicken run: i saw it once when i was very young and it just didnt resonate with me also claymation most of my childhood terrified me

wallace and gromit: same as chicken run

--

entire never saw it tier: dotn hate me i just dont have a lot of time on my hands. i know i will be oppressed into watching peabody and sherman within the week and i accept the charges

--

monsters vs. aliens: someone got it for me on dvd and i hated it so much. its not even that bad its just a me thing like for some reason the part where the lady becomes a giant during her wedding or w/e was just like. the worst nightmare i could imagine i hated it and it made me scared to get married bc i thought that could happen to me. also none of the main cast is charming to me one of thems a bug and i have a bug phobia so i could never rly get thru it im sorry but i coudltn do it

madagascar 2: alex backstory was kinda good but the rest was forgettable for me

madagascar 3: visually kinda cool but. :/// felt really off compared to the previous movies, like an obvious cash grab. i mean who could forget the constant polka dot afro circus song advertisements

shrek 3: again mostly just remember it for the frog dad dying ,,,

shrek 4: i only saw it like 5 months ago for the first time. fiona being a warrior in an alternate timeline or w/e (if that was real and not a fever dream) was the only semi tolerable part for me

penguins of madagascar: the first few minutes with them as babies was cute the rest i physically could not keep my attention on. i dont remember anything else im sorry

[adultswim2021]

Sealab 2021 #32: “Splitsville” | November 23, 2003 - 11:15 PM | S03E06

Debbie and Quinn break up, which causes everyone to go CRAZY! There is also a Battle of the Bands going on with Dr. Virjay and some other dudes. One of them is voiced by Dave Willis, which is always nice to hear. Well, dudes all hit on Debbie, and then she gets into a largely off-screen cat-fight where the dudes are like “SEXY CAT FIGHT YES” and they ‘bo out, and also Dr. Virjay’s band destroyed the nuclear reactor because they think it’s drugs and holy fuck is this a terrible episode.

This is also the first instance of Murphy-less Sealab to reach our television screens. Harry Goz has died. Long live Harry Goz. The episode actually appears in a much different order on DVD. This and one other episode exist as a bridge between premortem and postmortem Harry Goz Sealabs. That other episode is called Frozen Dinner. On DVD (which I assume is presented in production order) they appear before the episode where they introduce Capt. Murphy’s replacement, Tornado Shanks.

There’s a scene in this where Dr. Virjay and his band play Fishin’ Hole by Donnell Hubbard, which I’ve just learned is actually a BAND formed by Matt Maiellaro and Barry Mills. There is no man named Donnell Hubbard. Did I not put this together the last time this song was used (Legend of Baggy Pants)? I guess I didn’t, even though I credit the song to Matt. Anyway, this is the second time on the series that they basically stop the show to showcase this song. It’s a good song, arguably the best part of the episode. I wish they could’ve but a longer song in there, like MacArthur Park.

There were two things I liked: one, Stormy’s card to Debbie which reads “CHIN UP CUTIE” (INSIDE) “I THINK YOU’RE SAUCE-SOME!” and it’s a little picture of a dog with a bowl of spaghetti turned over it’s head. Funny! And then later Sparks says Debbie looks like a steak drizzled in slut-sauce. I don’t think I ever laughed at that line before in my life, but for some reason I appreciated the turn of phrase. It’s too bad the only two gags involve sauce. I guess I like-a-da-sauce (or juice, which is what the line actually is in the thing I’m referencing).

The catfight thing is kinda gross. It seems like an ironic joke, maybe, but I just picture Adam Reed getting a huge boner, beating off between drafts while attempting to get the scene cut down to a TV-14 rating. I guess I wish they either dropped it all together or just cast live-action pornography women to suddenly stand-in for the cartoon women and actually film a nice one that we can ALL beat off to, and not just Adam Reed. In fact, if a caption popped up saying ADAM REED IS NOT ALLOWED TO WATCH THIS during it, that’d be pretty good. So, live-action women slapping each others pussies and a MacArthur Park interlude is how I would fix this terrible episode.

MAIL BAG

It’s a mail bag party / who could ass for more

Kinda don't appreciate the disrespect for The Army Show> I know its your nature as someone who "hates the troops" but The Army Show was more than that. Sure if it lasted passed 9/11 it would have been significantly more reverent to the military but there was no danger of that happening because American audiences cannot take that much screentime of Posehn and a Higgins. They are simply too weird looking.

I watched it didn’t I. I mean... jeez!

Hey dude you mentioned Brian Posehn awhile back and I just wanted to let you know: Metal by numbers, 1-2-3. Follow these rules and you'll see. Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie. Metal by numbers, cookie-cookie-cookie. Metal by numbers, 1-2-3. This is the gay part with melody. Even a baby could do it, just give it a try. Sounds like Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die

Wow is this real

every episode of every adult swim original program reviewed by a middle-aged dipshit. go here if you wanna start at the start: graphic footage of a live birth of a piglet, not cute, covered in blood and worms

oh I just hate it. I simply detest it. You are worms

I've been wonder why you haven't updated since you posted a skeleton GIF for awhile and then I realized I was going to the wrong blog. Why did you post that skeleton GIF though? LOL!

Shout out to Simpsons Night, my other bad blog about bad shows. I posted it there because I wanted to, jackass

The other shoe has to drop on Eric Wareheim right. Tim knows this and has been doing more and more stuff without him every year while he is out on yachts with noted troublemaker Aziz. I just don't know if I can bear it. What if he tried to grope Whoopsie Goldberg.

I truly know nothing concrete except that he has a lot of sleezy sex and is a traditional horn dog. I mean, the sheer number this guy’s putting up makes one wonder what small percentage of those “sperm encounters” could be “100% lethal”. What I’m saying is that purely on a statistical level there’s a significant sporting chance that he has killed a woman with his dick. But, as long as she consented I can’t complain

[jelloopy]

Moonlighting Notes

Previous: Character Creation, HtbG

Moonlighting Ch 1

Boys are dizzy upon entering moon base (Why exactly was this a thing? Like was it because Lucretia made it so the bureau couldn’t be remembered/ comprehended by anyone not inoculated?)

AAVVIIIIIIII!!!!! He is from Brandybuck and gives them some brandy to ease the dizziness (Team player, I want someone like Avi in my crew.) 

JOHAAANNNNNN!!!! Half elf! v v sad boy. So talented!!! (I kinda forgot how mopey he was since I’ve been catching up with the rest of TAZ )

Magnus why you tickling a grown-ass man? (This is so funny and weird considering how their relationship grows later on?)

Best god damn musician that ever existed. Plays violin like a mad man (He plays the Violin… I feel like Lup would have challenged him so god damn fast. But still, is he the legit best Violinist in Faerune?)

Magnus drinks the Ichor first. Remembers everything that was static before now being clear as day. Months and years ago there was a war that ruined and killed entire towns, loved ones, and people he knew. (Juliaaaaaa! God that sucks realizing that tbh. But also later on Travis says that Magnus was the leader of a Militia going against Governor Kalen. So what was that about exactly? They might actually explain that later on so I gonna wait and see.)

”You have never seen anything like this”~griffin about Fisher (Oh, how incorrect that statement is. Especially for it to be Magnus he’s talking about.)

Taako drinks next then Merle (Ahh, Taako the trust issues are showinggggg! But I don’t blame you it’s okay you have full right to be sus)

Taako has a memory of working on his grandpa’s farm where he leaves the milk out too long and remembers sour cream (he was 65yrs old) (God, does that mean Lup was there too? )

Johann came up with the name “voidfish”? (To be fair the IPRE gang only called him Fisher so it actually is pretty neat if Johann really was the guy to come up with the name.)

Magic Brian was 121yrs old and a drow elf (A young man just looking for mischief)

Magnus tries to tickle Johann again bit he smacks his hand away (YES JOHANN Stand up for your self!!!!! What a king.)

Johann is in the “gamekeeping” department? (I mean he is the guy that feeds and takes care of Fisher by means of feeding him information that needs getting rid of. So it kinda makes sense.)

Moonlighting Ch 2

They meet Lucretia!  (I want to punch her so bad. I’m sorry if yall like Lucretia but she infuriates me. She actually is a really cool character with a complex personality that I can actually appreciate but I still hate what she did and I will go much deeper into it later on.)

Griffin makes a joke about having to “create a new monster that takes away memories” so that he can get Taako to unlearn some of the components to making a taco (Good god. That came back to bite us in the ass didn’t it? Huh, JUNIOR. Didn’t it? That hurts a lot too.)

Lucretia doesn’t know” what the umbrastaff is (I saw a post with some Lucretia angst which I can appreciate because she could have been “in denial” about it being Lup’s umbrastaff but I got angry nonetheless.)

She believes that they are much more capable than they believe that they are (YEAH HUH? Its almost like they have less faith in themselves because someone took away their memories and the knowledge of their powers or something and they had to start all over. Wild.)

The Bureau of Balance has only been in operation for less than a year and they were not able to do anything until they discovered the Voidfish (More like Lucretia had only then figured out the logistics of her organization enough to introduce Fisher to everyone. Which in retrospect is very smart and it’s the same thing I would do at that point in time but anyway.)

Magic Brian was a wayward seeker who worked for the bureau of balance (aHA! So technically in the Graphic Novel, he should have had a bracer on unless he used a spell to conceal it which is reasonable (I won’t hate on Carey I just remembered it and noticed he didn’t have a bracer on. it’s nothing wild))

CUE TRIAL OF INITIATION! (Ngl I forgot this was a thing because of how little attention I was paying at the beginning.)

Magnus is the strongest, Merle is the smartest, and Taako is the bravest. (In all aspects, I would have switched Taako and Merle but considering at this point Taako really was a dullard I can agree with their placements.)

The smallest ogre is blue the middle ogre is green and the big ogre is red (Awe I think Griffin used all of their fave colors to Mirror the three of em. <3)

Magnus’ first blood with ripping arms off (And so it begins. God, I love that Lil character detail in Magnus. It’s so frickin funny.)

”I thought I knew him! he’s an animal!” ~Taako (I mean in The Stolen Century he waaaas taught by a bear so… not far off there bud.)

Taako falls back and breaks his wand and in return, the umbrastaff begins to shift and wiggle in his bag until he gets it out. (It never clicked that this was the time that Griffin listed in Lup’s return in the finale. Until now… That’s so cute and so sadddddd)

Moonlighting Ch 3

Magnus got to keep the robot arm(s?) (Yay! Sadly he will give them up later on :( but it is for good reason so :) )

Lucretia came up with the name “Bureau of Balance” (Why? Like why Balance. I would name it Justice or Equity or something else but Balance doesn’t seem right in line with what they are doing.)

Lucretia treats davenport as her charge or ward (Rude. For one. It also hurts a lot more when you realize he is her superior. I hate it so much.)

”We very quickly cut your hand off take the bracer then reattach the hand so its no big deal” in reference to how they’ll get the bracers off after they find all the relics. (1- I forget how they get the bracers off in the end but did Lucretia really not plan for that?) (2- heheh *cut to Merle in three Arcs*)

The seventh relic is love “after we find the sixth item we’ll come back here” (She has the 7th in her hand actually so yeah you’re only gonna need to find six. But also it kinda was Love. The bonds they all had together helped Lucretia do what she needed in the end with the help of Taako’s idea and together they ended the Hunger’s reign over Faerune.)

”who called themselves the Red Robes- are all gone- most of them killed in the hunt for their relics- bring them back here if you find one” (Uh. Lucretia really named her family the “Red Robes” and made them sound evil because they did what they could at the time. Also they aren't “all gone” the only one(s) you don’t know their whereabouts of yet are Barry and Lup. AND YOU PUT ANTI- LICH WARDS ON THE DAMN MOON DUDE. If you really wanted to find Barry to talk then you would have not done that.)

Leon the artificer! (He is trying his best and I love him)

The umbrastaff is a magical umbrella created by the Umbrawizards “very few” of them exist (Boy HUH? Did Lup like… start a gang of wizards? Or did Lucretia feed Leon false Information?)

Taako being inept at the gashapon (My favorite thing. He is played as stupid at the time but if we consider his character, in general, knowing everything we do he is just fucking with Leon and I love him for that.)

RAILSPLITTER!!!! Phantom fist!!! Wand of switcheroo!! The X-treem teen bible and SCUTTLEBUDDY!!!! (Pay close attention! These Mousekatools will be useful later on!)

Awe Magnus got everyone the stones of far speech 

They are moving to Level 4!!!

Next: MotRPL, Lunar Interlude I,

[simply-ellas-stuff]

My thoughts on Zack Snyder's Justice League because I watched it

The opening sequence, bc even tho the repeated scream audio was stuipid this opening was better

The new meeting between batman and Aquaman - that drawing on the wall in the og was unnecessary

Diana's extra badassery

The design of Stephen Wolf, because now he actually looks scaryish

The Queens emotions about losing her sisters of Themyscira - QUEENS DON'T JUST SEND THEIR PEOPLE INTO BATTLE EMOTIONLESSLY THESE SCENES WERE NEEDED - FUCK

THE BIGGER WITH IN THEMYSCIRA WHY THE FUCK DID THEY CUT THAT OUT?! - oh right, its because the previous director is sexist as fuck,

Stephen Wolf's Daddy Issues because that's fucking hilarious

Bruce explaining his want to find everyone bc of his promise

The close up on the fly things because that actually made it scary

THE FUCKING LIGHTING CEREMONY IN THEMESCERIA HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT

Diana's extra badassery after getting the Arrow because WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT CUT?! This explains SO MUCH about how Diana knows SO MUCH about a time she wasn't alive in and I have NO FUCKING CLUE why it was cut!?

Arthur Curry is a Stripper - Confirmed!

Arthur and his trainer talking, but idfk why they kept the bubble thing Although I do like that they clarify that it's not just Mera who can do that bubble thingy

The scene between Stephen Wolf and the stone-wall dude person was cool and it explained why Stephen Wolf was so desperate

Zeus, Ares, and Artemis prepped for battle along with Poseidon in the flashback was FUCKING AWESOME!!! Diana's Aunt as well, the shows of the Green Lanterns, and the ring returning to the planet [Although they should've named Artemis, bc she can easily be mistaken for Athena - Also; Artemis' roman equivalent in the goddess Diana ]

Darkseid being in the flashback, which explains a lot

The Gods vs Darkseid was FUCKING AWESOME

Barry's awkward rambling after running into Iris

ALSO IRIS FUCKING WEST!!!

The Big Belly Burger Reference, nicely done

My dad says Iris' car is beautiful

BARRY SAVED IRIS BITCHES

The slow-mo crash gave me anxiety

My dad says, "I know you got all the time in the world but c'mon this is ridiculous" about that scene then "That beautiful car..."

THE SCENE WITH STEPHEN WOLF AND THE ALTLANTIAN MAKES EVERYTHING MAKE SO MUCH MORE SENSE BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK DID STEPHEN WOLF KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE MOTHER BOX IN ATLANTIS

Do. Not. Make. Diana. And. Bruce. Romantic. Don't. Fucking. Do. It.

The use of slow-mo is kind of redundant

Victor being fucking AMAZING even tho he's getting in trouble at school

Victor and Mama's discussion gives some life to the 2-Dlike Cyborg from the og movie, WHY THE FUCK WAS IT CUT?!

Victor's inner-world where he's still fully human

Barry being sarcastic as fuck towards his father lmfao

"Very attractive Jewish boy"

The reference to Grodd YAAAAAAAS

I still hate that Barry's lightning is blue and not red

The explanation of the Speedforce and Snacks

"What are your super powers again?" "I'm Rich" Still one of the best lines

I love Diana's shirt in the scene with Alfred

"Looks like you have a date, Ms. Prince" lmfao - Unless his name is Steve, I doubt it

I feel like Victor and Diana would be a good brother/sister duo, ngl

Burying the fucking box at your mothers grave was the stupidest shit I have ever fucking seen Victor.

COMMISIONER GORDON HELL YES

Barry's utter fail at being normal around Diana

The underwater click-like dolphin speak was cool, but still kinda dumb knowing that later Aquaman speaks underwater just fine - ngl

Nice Liquidkinetics, Mera. Amber you're still a cunt.

Also, Mera says her parents died - Wasn't her father alive in Aquaman??

Victor seeing the bat-signal explains how he knew how to find them, honest

The badass entry of Bruce, Diana, and Barry makes me laugh

Barry is far too close to Bruce

Victor scared Barry LMFAOOOO

If Victor's father is the head of STAR Labs where the fuck is Harrison Wells?????

THEY LEFT BARRY BEHIND, ASSHOLES

Diana's annoyance at Barry running ahead is such a Mom thing

Stephen using the bug thing makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE

Diana trying to make a plan and it getting ruined fits with the exasperated Mom theme she's got going on.

THE SONG HEN DIANA GOES AGAINST STEPHEN WOLF, THE FUCKING VOCALS ALONG MAKE ME HYPE AS SHIIIIIIIIT

"I Belong To No One" I FUCKING LOVE IT

HEEEEEEEEELL of a push Barry lmfaooo

"Thank you Alfred" "Don't mention it" Mans is bored of your shit

"Sword Lady" LMFAOOOOOOO

Diana's x-move thing against Stephen Wolf YAAAAAAAAS BITCH

Diana saving Barry's ass - Accurate!

Victor taking over the Crawler makes more sense this way, honest

OKAY YOU AN ACTUALLY SEE AQUAMAN IN THE WATER AND IT MAKES IT MAKE SO MUCH MORE SENSE

That jump onto the crawler was smooth as fuck Diana!

Stephen Wolf getting visions from the boxes also explains a lot about some shit

"I know the requirements, I wrote them" Suuuuuuubtle lmfaoo

Victor brining the box them also fits better

Why is this Stone looking mother fucker speaking Latin?

Hello Darkseid, you look particularly dramatic this evening

Victor's explaining how he knows about the box makes a lot of sense, why was this cut again??

Actually explaining the fucking Mother Box was Helpful

Mrs. Kent and Lois having a heart to heart holy shiiiit

Martha talking about how Clark's death was drowned out by Superman's - wooow

WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH MARTHA'S EYES IS THAT J'ONN J'ONZZ?! THATS THE MARTIAN MANHUNTER HOLY FUCK IT'S J'ONN J'ONZZ

Ironic that Ezra-Flash's hero is Superman while Grant Gustin's hero is superman lmfao

Diana and Arthur chatting was cute, the quote was awesome and the Atlantians totally copped that quote from the Amazonians

Alfred being a sarcastic fuck is my favorite

Alfred being the voice of reason, as always

Arthur helping Barry pick a hat is AMAZING

Diana telling the boys to change, mom or big sister?? lmfaoo

Barry's social awkwardness gives me second hand embarrassment

This little infiltration arc makes SO MUCH more fucking sense

Every one being suited up and triggering the alarm is amazing

Mr. Stone fucking trusting his son is my faaaaaavorite

THE SUITS ACTIVATED AND CAME OUT WHEN CLARK WAS MOVED PAST THEM DUDE WTF

IS LOIS PREGNANT?!?!?!

Barry looks like he's about to throw up

BARRY HAS ALREADY TIME TRAVELLED THAT LINE SHOULDVE BEEN KEPT IN

Arthur being antsy about not doing the resurrection makes so much sense

VICTOR SEEING A POSSIBLE FUTURE IS THE BEST SHIT

I love vision-Diana's Norse burial

EVIL VISION-SUPERMAN DUDE CMON

THE MISUNDERSTANDING MAKES THIS WORSE AND BETTER AT THE SAME TIME

HE REVERSED TIME WHEN HE RESURRECTED SUPERMAN WHAAAAAAAAT

The Military arriving was a sensible addition

The fancy ass dramatic ass arrival of Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Flash, and Cyborg when Superman gets to the monument is hilarious

Victor loosing control is the woooooorst

The Lasso of Truth almost got through to him but he's a stubborn fuck

Superman functioning in Flashtime is something I will never understand

Yeah lets shoot at the guy whose indestructible, right

"you should probably move" LMFAOOOO

Batman v. Superman part 2 insert eye roll here

headbutts like children - and that's cheating on the playground Clark.

Heat vision makes so much more sense than "do you bleed?"

Lois coming in cluuuuutch

I like Lois' appearance better than Alfred bringing her, it fits Lois better

Arthur and Barry now have rivalry lmfaooo

Mr. Stone being obsessed with the mother box is annoying as fuck

Mr. Stone is an idiot and he should've fucking left the box alone

That was a horrible death why was that necessary?!

Arthur being a pessimist in this movie is honestly hilarious, tho why is he anti-love??

Barry being surprised at Batman's richness is never not funny

"I'll take that as a yes" okay Clark, don't show off

IS LOIS PREGNANT OR NOT?!

"Its really me Ma" Best scene of the whole fucking movie

Barry and Arthur heart-to -heart "I thought you didn't car" "I never said that" BUILD THIS FRIENDSHIP

BRUCE TELLS DIANA OF THE VISION

Bruce talking about faith never bodes well

THE QUEEN LOOKS BEAUTIFUL

"uh with the power of love" "Barry" LMFAOOOOOO

THE KRYPTONIAN SUITS LOOK AMAZING

Since when does Superman have Geokinesis??

I LOVE HOW BOTH OF HIS FATHERS ARE TALKING TO HIM I FUCKING LOVE IT

THE SUIT UP SCENE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME IT LOOKS AWESOME

"just have to knock a little louder" Well, that's one way to knock Bruce

Nice crash boy

Straight up sounded like "Loud and queer" lmfaoooo

Diana leading the teeeeeeeaaaam Hell Yes!

I do miss the "I think we're all gonna die" lasso-Arthur scene tho. it was stupid - but funny.

DIANA COMING IN FOR THAT SLICE AND DICE BAYBEEEEY

THE TEAM SHOOOOT YES totally taken from Marvel but fuck did it look good

"you really are out of your mind" says the idiot who talks to fish

"not done yet" vs "your welcome" I like the second one better

Glorious hair Arthur lmfaoo

Fucking chair eject

NICE SHISH-KA-BOB ARTHUR FUCK

Alfred doesn't even fucking blink when Clark arrives

ARTHURS TRIDENT DOES THE WAVY THING ON LAND TOO BROOOO

Oh yeah, step back for the demi-god princess

DONT PISS OFF DIANA AND DO NOT USE HER FAMILY TO FUCK WITH HER IT NEVER ENDS WELL

The familiar flash buildup power ring will never not make me happy

Daaaaaayum Diana!!

Nice catch Arthur

Diana knows her mother and sisters are alive bc they sent the arrow to her, so why is he even trying it??

NICE SAVE SUPERMAN!!

"Not impressed" Smooooooth

THAT FINAL BATTLE IS FUCKING AWESOME

TIME TRAVEL

BADASS DIANA WITH THAT DEPCAPITATION

You sent Today at 5:44 PM

Them all standing there was straight up "Fuck with us, I dare you"

The epilogue was great but that dream was confusing, are we doing Alt-universe shit??

MARTIAN MOTHER FUCKING MANHUNTER BITCHEEEEEEEEEEZZ

IS LOIS PREGNANT OR NOT?!

[bre-meister]

Grandpa Barry

a not so short fluffy one-shot based off of an old offhanded comment by @onehelluvafirstdate that kinda just stuck with me

Holidays for the Butron’s had become more than just family affairs. For several years prior to the events at the Spencer Mansion, the Redfield siblings had begun to join them for these types of events after their parent’s deaths. However, after the mansion incident, the large scale outbreak that was Racoon City, and the countless other BOW incidents that had occurred since family holidays had extended well past just the family.

Thanksgivings and Christmases and Fourth of July’s had become celebrations of more than just that particular holiday. They were a celebration of another year lived, another attack survived, and sometimes, celebrations of another survivor added to their small but growing group of what they considered to be extended family.

This particular Thanksgiving was no different and so, the Burtons found themselves preparing to host their extended family for dinner, drinks, and overall good times. Not everyone was always able to attend - their common line of work never really took holidays into consideration - but this year they’re gearing up for an unusually good turnout.

Chris arrives first, as always. Early in order to help set up. The man can’t cook for shit so he brings drinks - both alcoholic and non-alcoholic - for his contribution to the large meal. Rebecca is next along with Sherry and Jake. Quite frankly, Barry was surprised they’ ed convinced the kid to come but, at the same time, the older man was fairly sure Jake would do anything for Sherry if she just asked. The three had brought different desserts that were most probably store-bought. Barry could already see Rebecca’s hand slowly drifting up to the pair of dog tags that hung around her neck - it would become more evident as the night wore on.

Next are Jill and Carlos, the latter of which has just been a recent addition to these types of celebrations despite having known Jill since Racoon. They arrive with a dish that smells heavenly and was most definitely prepared by Carlos. Jill, like Chris, was poorly adept in the kitchen. 

Last to arrive was Leon and Claire along with their ever-growing brood. Isabelle seemed to be barley restraining herself, a ball of excitement ready to burst at the seams.

“Hi, Grandpa Barry!” 

Barry smiled at the little girl.  She had been calling him ‘Grandpa” for as long as he could remember and, seeing as the kid had no real grandparents in her life, he and his wife had taken on the pseudo roll eagerly. 

“Hey kid,” Barry ruffled her hair, “how’s it going?”

“Great!” she giggled. Pleasantries out of the way, Isabelle moved on to her main prerogative,

“Are Sherry and Jake here yet?” 

For some reason, Izzy had taken quite the shining to her older sister’s new boy toy. Jake, for his part, seemed to have begrudgingly accepted his newfound role as ‘big brother’ to the Kennedy kid. Barry supposed that Izzy had never really given him a choice.

“They are. In fact, you guys are the last to get here.”

Isabelle pouted before turning to her mother who had been hanging up their coats by the door.

“I told you, Mamma, we’re always late.”

“We’re not late Izzy. Dinner isn’t anywhere near ready yet so you have plenty of time to play with Sherry and Jake.”

Izzy harrumphed before running off to the living room where she assumed everyone else would be. Claire sighed before turning to their host.

“Hey, Barry.” She smiled and accepted the hug that Barry was offering her. She registered Leon scolding Izzy for not taking her shoes off before running further into the house.

“Leon.” Barry moved on to the younger man, waving at little Olivia who was snuggled up in her Daddy’s arms.

“Barry.”

This was usually how things were. The two would act aloof until Claire has moved out of earshot and Barry could well and truly find out how Leon was doing.

“Kathy is in the kitchen, said to send you in once you got here.”

“Oh, of course.” Claire looked between the two men and pretended not to know what was going on. She pecked Leon on the lips and tickled Olivia’s belly before heading towards the kitchen to help Kathy with the dinner. 

“Sorry, we didn’t bring anything this year. Claire’s had her hands full with her job and the girls while I was gone and since I got back a few days ago things have been a little out of whack.” Leon chuckled.

“Don’t worry about it kid.” God, Barry thought, am I really so old that I’m calling everyone kid?

“Anyway,” Barry said, “how’s the family life treating ya?” 

Leon knew Barry wasn’t really asking about the ‘family life’. But it was just easier sometimes to talk in innuendos and code words what with little ears around. In this case, the family life really meant the sober life. The special agent looked down at a specific pair of little ears before answering. Liv was currently clinging to Leon like her life depended on it. Both girls were always a little clingy when he returned from long missions but Liv tended to take the term ‘Daddy’s girl’ to a new level.

The three-year-old had only let go of the man long enough for both of them to take their coats off.  What Barry noticed though, was that Leon seemed to be holding on to Olivia just as desperately.

“Family life is... It’s ah, a little hard sometimes. But I’d never go back.”

Barry smiled but nodded. Motioning for Leon to follow, he made his way into the living room to join everyone else.

“Hi, Livy!” Moira said, waving enthusiastically at the little girl.

“Hi,” Liv said in a small, quiet voice

“Come play with us!” Natalia called from where she and Moira were stationed in front of a dollhouse.

Barry’s adopted daughter loved playing with Olivia whenever she got the chance. She once told him that it was because she had fun playing with ‘babies’ which, Barry thought was a little funny considering that, at only eleven, Barry still very much saw Natalia as barely more than a baby himself. He supposed he should work on that, the girls as growing up every day - thriving, even, in a stable environment with what is probably the closest to a normal life she’d ever had.

Olivia shook her head at Natalia’s invitation to play. Instead, she buried her head even further in her father’s shoulder. 

“Common Liv, we have a special doll just for you.” This time it was Moira trying to do the convincing, even going as far as to use a sing-song voice.

All she garnered was another head shake. 

“I’m sure your sister is having a lot of fun with Sherry and Jake,” Barry motioned to where the three were making various buildings and figures out of Leggos, “I think you’d have a lot of fun.”

“Jake could use some help over here Liv, I think you should come show him how its done.” Sherry chimed in.

“What? No I -” Jake’s cry of indignation was cut off by Sherry’s elbow to his side. “ I’m real lost here, Oliva. Sherry’s right.”

“ I stay with Daddy.”

A round of soft laughter went through the room at that. Barry shared a knowing look with his wife before holding his arms out to the little girl who looked at him skeptically,

“Common sweetie. I’m sure you’ve been attached your Daddy since he’s been back. Why don’t you spend some time with Grandpa for a bit? I feel like I haven’t seen your cute little face in ages!”

Olivia didn’t say anything. Instead, she just looked at Barry in that way kids were so good at like he was spewing a load of fresh bullshit.

“It’s fine Barry.”  Leon’s response saw Olivia snuggles back into her father, content to be in his arms.

“Well, she can’t stay with you forever kid, gotta learn sometime - both of you. Why not now when you won’t be any further than a room away.”

“I’m with you Barry, I tell Leon all the time he coddles her too much,” Claire said. From her spot in the kitchen, she had a clear view of what was going on in the living room.

“Is it really coddling though? I was gone for almost two weeks.” Leon’s defense was weak sounding.

“And we both know you could be gone longer at the drop of a hat. That’s just the life we live and when she refuses to be put down and you refuse to put her down, you make my life harder when Daddy inevitably has to leave again. Barry’s still got my vote. She’s gotta learn.” 

“Common, Chris, Carlos, if you guys were in my situation you’re telling me you guys wouldn’t do the same thing.”

“ Sorry bro, as much as I love to disagree with my sister, she’s kinda right.” Chris’s reply was definitely not what Leon was looking for so the blonde man turned to Carlos for his support.

“Look man, I’d be the first to admit that if I ever had kids it would be hard for me to ever deny them anything.” Leon lit up at that and everyone else pretended to ignore the quick look Carlos shot Jill as he finished his statement.

“But,” Leon seemed to visibly deflate as Carlos continued, already knowing where this was going - not in his favor “ that doesn’t mean they aren’t right.”

“Thank you!” Claire interjected.

“Well, I think it’s cute.” Rebecca proudly stated.

At that Caire stepped fully out of the kitchen and pointed a pair of tongs at Rebecca who had been nursing a glass of something strong by the fireplace.

“You say that now. Wait until you find someone and have a few kids of your own. As cute as it is, your tune will change real quick.”

Rebecca let out a little laugh as Claire returned to the kitchen but it sounded a little forced, hand drifting back up to the dog tags around her neck.

“Hand her over, Leon. She’ll be fine.”

Reluctantly, Leon did as he was told. Olivia did not go quietly, the beginnings of a tantrum becoming evident as she was handed off to her ‘grandpa’.

“Oh stop acting up baby girl, you’re just fine!” Claire’s voice carried sweet but stern from the kitchen.

Olivia quieted at her mother’s words but still hadn’t silenced her whimpers. Leon looked about ready to cave.

“I have three kids Leon and more years of experience. Trust me, I’ve got this. Now, Livy and I are gonna go read a nice story and I’m sure Kathy and Claire could use some help.” Barry said with a smile. 

“ Leon, could be a dear and go bring the cooler in from the garage?” 

“Of course Kathy.”

“Oh, you might need some help. It’s not exactly small and Barry already put the ice and some drinks in.”

“I got you.” Carlos squeezed Leon’s shoulder as he passed, effectively turning the man away from Olivia and punching him in the direction of the garage.

“Thanks, boys!” Kathy called after them.

Olivia got a little angsty once Leon was out of her sights but soon Barry had her thoughts away from her missing Daddy and onto The Cat in the Hat. They got through three more books - Olivia entranced by the pictures in on each page - before eventually going off to color with Polly who had brought out some of her colored pencils, crayons, and old coloring books. 

Olivia even convinced her Uncle Chris to come color with her ( and he’d never admit it to Leon but, when those large blue eyes were turned on him Chris knew he wouldn’t be able to say no).

When Claire and Kathy called that dinner was ready to be served Leon took that as his cue that ‘separation’ time was over. He collected Izzy first, watching to make sure to washed-up properly before helping her to make a plate.

“ Do you want ham or turkey, Princess?”

“ Ham, please. Daddy, I don’t want green beans.” Isabelle made a face as Leon scooped some onto the plate, ignoring her protest.

“ I know, but remember what we talked about?”

Isabelle sighed, “No green beans, no desert.” The girl had a sweet tooth that could rival her mother’s and her parents tended to use that to their advantage.

Leon chuckled, bringing the plate over to the smaller table just to the side of the main one in the dining room. Their found family was getting too big for everyone to sit at the dining table, so they had resorted to setting up a table for the youngest of the group to sit.

Izzy seemed to accept her fate as she sat Jake at the table, giggling as he too joked about being forced to eat his vegetables in return for dessert. Sherry always volunteered to sit with the kiddos along with Moira and Polly and wherever Sherry went, Jake went. Leon shot the kid a look, it seemed that two of his girls had taken quite a shining to him and it was safe to say that he wasn’t too pleased with it. Rationally, he knew that Sherry was old enough to make her own decisions and Izzy most likely just had a silly schoolgirl crush that would go away with time. But Leon didn’t want to think rationally right now.

He was interrupted from his thoughts as he heard Claire playfully inspecting Olivia’s hands.

“Did you get ‘em all clean, baby?”

“Uh-huh. Uncle Chris help me!”

“Did he sing you your song?” Claire asked teasingly. Olivia just giggled while nodding her head yes.

“He did, did he?” Claire sent a shit-eating grin to her brother who quickly excused himself to the table.

“You do it better, Mommy.” Claire laughed before kissing her little girl’s bleach blonde hair. Leon was convinced it would darken over time, just like his had.

“Come here little bug, let’s get you something to eat.”

Leon helped Liv just as he had with Izzy. Once she’d had all she wanted on her plate, as well as some vegetables she didn’t, he made to set her up next to her sister at the other table.

“Daddy, no!”

Leon was prepared for this, it happened every time. Liv wouldn’t want to sit with the other kids, no, she always much rather stay with her Daddy. So, safe to say he was more than taken aback by Livy’s next words.

“ I sit with Grandpa.” 

It was as if the whole room went silent at Olivia’s request, even Izzy stopped her laughing and was looking at her little sister with a shocked expression.

“ I - um… you’d have to ask Grandpa.”

Olivia wasted no time running over to Barry where he sat at the head of the table.

“Grandpa, I sit with you?”

“Sure, sweetheart.”

Barry lifted the little girl onto her lap. She settled in with a little giggle and Leon felt his heart both swell and break at the sound. This was what they were trying to achieve the whole night, right? He voiced such out loud when Claire came over to ask if he was ok.

“Ya but, it doesn’t mean it would hurt any less. That was a hard reject, Kennedy.” Jill said. 

“Jill.” Carlos gently admonished.

“What? Are we all just supposed to sit here and pretend like that didn’t just happen? I mean, no offense to you Leon but that was the funniest thing I’ve seen all night.” Jill laughed again.

“You know Jill, I never took you as one to languish in someone else’s pain. Hats off to you.” 

Jill raised her wine glass to Jake in acknowledgment of his comment. Claire took Liv’s plate out of Leon’s hand and placed it in front of the little girl. She then began to make up another one with all of Leon’s favorites.

Putting down the plate in front of an empty chair she motioned for Leon to come and sit.

“Why don’t you come eat something, honey.” 

Leon could tell that even Claire felt a little bad for him - she only calls him ‘honey’ when she does. She even kissed his cheek as he pulled a chair out for her before sitting down like she’d suggested.

“It’s fine,” he lied, “I don’t get why you guys are making such a big deal out of this.”

“If he’s acting this way now imagine how he’ll act once they start dating.” Rebecca whisper yelled to Chris who was seated next to her.

Chris almost choked on his drink, laughing at the image of Leon’s suffering.

“Hey, he hasn’t said anything about Jake yet!” Sherry’s attempt at defending Leon was not appreciated by Jake who shot her a scathing look.

“Only because I haven’t had the chance yet. It’s coming, Shelly.” Leon turned to look at the two adults in question as he said it.

Sherry blushed - whether, from the use of his old nickname for her or from the thinly veiled threat, he wasn’t exactly sure. Jake let out a withered sigh before turning back to his food. Eventually, everyone else took pity on Leon’s poor soul and did the same. That, or they just got tired of making fun of him - with people like these for family one never could be too sure. 

Dinner continued with much merriment; teasing abounded but not all at the expense of Leon. Once the word was out that Rebeca had been curbing advances from several men she had met at her new job the table was divided - some teasing and encouraging her to go for it, others defending that she didn’t have to. By the end of it, the dog tags had ended back up in her hands. Rebecca then flipped it on the perpetually single Chris who, in turn, threw Jill and Carlos under the bus. The friendly banter then shifted to their undefined relationship status. All the while laughter continuously flowed from the table along with the occasional interjection from Moira, Polly, or Sherry. Jake mainly sticking to entertaining the kids.

By the end of the night, Leon found himself with an arm around Claire’s shoulders and Livy sitting in his lap - two out of three of his girls snuggled up against his chest, still seated at the table. Olivia had migrated back to her Daddy when she had started to get tired and Leon would be lying if he said it hadn’t made him feel miles better. Number three wasn’t far behind.

“Daddy, are we going home soon?”

Leon could see the tiredness almost radiating off of his daughter. Izzy had run off her sugar high from dessert and looked like she was ready to drop right there in front of him.

“Soon, Princess.” he shifted Livy in his lap to make room for Izzy.

It always took a little finagling to fit both Isabelle and Olivia on his lap but, somehow, they always seemed to make a way. Izzy climbed up and Leon felt content - belly full of good food, surrounded by family and good conversation, and most importantly, his little family wrapped safely in his arms.

They stayed like that for a while. Eventually, Chris, Carlos, and Jill began to clear the table. They made their way to the kitchen with the intent to clean up and give Kathy a break since she and Claire were the main ones who set everything up.

Leon could hear his wife sigh,

“It’s late. We should get the girls home.” except she made no move to do that, instead she buried her face in his neck and took in a deep breath letting out an even deeper sigh.

Eventually, Izzy began softly snoring. Leon and Claire knew they couldn’t put off heading home any longer - the drive wasn’t long but it wasn’t exactly short either and the girls should be sleeping in their own beds where it was more comfortable.

Between the two of them, they were able to get the girls into their shoes and jackets and then into their car seats with minimal trouble. They said their goodbyes outside by the car. Promises to do it again for Christmas were made but they were all taken with a grain of salt. One never knew when Leon would be called away on a mission or when Claire would be needed for some Terrasave function or clean-up job. 

“I hope you enjoy being ‘grandpa’ to those cute little girls ‘cause you sure aren’t getting any grandkids from me anytime soon.”

“Good.”

Barry turned away from watching Claire and Leon drive away to look down at his oldest daughter. She looked back up at him. All was silent for a moment until the two broke out into easy laughter. He guided her back into the house, closing the door and effectively blocking the cold out.

As Barry held his own daughter close he looked around at everyone left. Natalia sleeping on the couch, Sherry and Jake whispering in a not-so secluded corner. Rebecca had joined the cleanup crew in the kitchen after having seen off the Kennedy clan. His eyes met his wife’s who was still seated at the table enjoying a slice of pie with Polly.

Barry knew that in the world they lived in, one couldn’t be certain of many things. But, he also knew that he could be certain of this - family wasn’t just defined by blood. Barry didn’t know what the future held, no one did. What they did know, however, was that their family was always changing - in size and look. But, they would always be there, especially on holidays like this, to remind one another that they were alive, that they had all made it through another year. They would be there to remind each other that there was still love and kindness in this dark world worth fighting for, and they did it in what seemed like the easiest, most simple way - by loving each other.

[zozophoenixxx]

Friendly reminders about The Flash⚡️

Things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Season 3✨

Flashpoint... oh gosh I used to hate this episode, I literally always skipped it but this time I'm gonna watch it you guys I promise😂

Nvm this episode might not be so bad, we get to see Barry all happy and with his mom and Dad and i-🥺

Omg do y'all remember in season 2 when Barry, Cisco and Harry went to E-2 to stop Zoom and Cisco said that he thought his doppelganger would be like a rich tech genius or sum like that... Not Cisco from flashpoint being a rich tech genius 🤭😃😂

Caitlin... She's a pediatric eye doctor🤭🥲😂 (flashpoint)

Wow wtf I had completely forgotten about Julian 😳

I swear I hate it when they mess so much with the timeline, I just can't keep up

West-Allen kiss count (approximately): 30😘

⬆️ approximately bc I might have messed up 😅

Wow I thought season 3 was all savitar, I did not remember alchemy

Rival, Magenta (portrayed by Joey King, we love her),ɹǝʇsɐɯ ɹoɹɹıɯ and top, monster, shade, plunder, abra cadabra

OK Y'ALL I JUST NOTICED THAT IN THE MAGENTA EPISODE *breathes in* Barry and Iris go on their first date and electric love was playing... The fact that that's the song used in the trend where you kiss your best friend seems rights

Jesse got her powers 😃 we stan Jesse Quick⚡️

CECILE AND JOE I-🥺

Bro HR 🥺

Julian really was a b*tch at the beginning of this season, but his accent tho🥴🤤🥵

That height difference between Cecile and Joe is what I need in life I love them 🥰

Iris is such a badass bro I love her

Savitar is apparently the Hindu god of motion 🤭

Killer frost episode 🤭😃 I love the fact that Caitlin got powers but I still felt so bad for her like she didn't want that, she didn't want to hurt anyone 🥺

She really said some pretty hurtful things to Barry, he messed up everyone makes mistakes 🥺

Barry tricking Killer Frost into turning back into Caitlin was 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and then when she wanted to apologize and Cisco just hugged her and Joe too i- 🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺 I think that was the first time when we saw Joe And Caitlin hug 🥺

Julian's such an ass bro he really forced Barry to quit and he really did just to protect Caitlin

Y'all ever get chills or just overall goosebumps whenever the music from the other shows start playing in the crossovers? No? Just me? Cool just wanted to know 😅

Felicity fangirling is me

Also Diggle throwing up every time Barry takes him from somewhere is hilarious or just him being done with anything that's not normal 😂

Bro supergirl I- 🥴🤩

NO AND THEN SARAH AHDHAHHAHAA she really said "it's kinda hot" (referring to Supergirl being a bad ass) when they were training lmao I cantttt

Cisco was getting visions of Dante, who was actually Savitar, and was manipulated into opening the box which brought Savitar out and really if it hadn't been for Caitlin, Barry and Wally would've been killed

DANG CECILE AND JOE JUST KISSED WOWWW😁

Their apartment i-

HR really got them a turtle named McSnurtle y'all i-

GYPSY

That scene where they told Joe that Iris was meant to die in the future was so🥺😞😩 I don't even know how to describe it

wally and Jesse were cute 🥺🥰🤌

Cisco and Harry were kinda mean to HR🥺

Grodd just tried to kill Joe and Harry and Cisco came up with a way to see into Grodd's memory through Joe and Istg Joe's face lmao, he's just so done with everything 😂

Dang Grodd's plan really was to kill everyone with nuclear missiles by controlling that military guy and Barry had to try every password combination to stop it just like he did in season 1 or 2 (idk lmao) when he was helping Snart and his father with a robbery

Y'ALL BAHSHHHAHAHA I love GYPSY she really just straight up kissed Cisco and went like "even if I did [like you] you couldn't handle me"

AND CISCO was all like "I'll marry that woman"😩😳😂💀

BARRY DID NOT JUST PROPOSE

Y'ALL WHAT I THOUGHT THIS WAS WAY LATER

I love that scene where they tell everyone 🥺

Bro why was Barry always so mean to Wally like I know he was stressed out about Iris but bro it wasn't Wally's fault 🥺

OMG JULIAN JUST KISSED CAITLIN🥺 they're adorable

Wally did watch Iris die

Jesse moved to E-1 when she was dating Wally for a bit and she stayed at Joe's house with the both of them

Savitar used The Greek myth of Atla to explain why he needed Wally to get out of the speed force ➡️ Atla can't let go of the sky without having someone take it from him.

Ok so by taking a part of the philosopher stone before it was thrown into the speed force, Caitlin technically kept Savitar from coming back. So if Wally hadn't had those visions where Savitar manipulated him into throwing that little piece of rock into the speed force... He wouldn't have been able to escape

That was kinda hard to explain. Idek if it made sense I'm sorry y'all I'm not good with words 😂

I love Harry 🥺

NOT EDDIE IN THE SPEED FORCE 😳

Ok y'all but whenever y'all watch it or rewatch it, there's this very cute and funny scene in S3 E16 min 17:00 between Caitlin And HR where she takes away his drumstick and he just takes out another one but it's very adorable because they keep messing around🥺

Bro the speed force was really being b*tch to Barry when he was trying his best to save everyone and change the future 😩😞

And Jesse was so mean to HR on Ep16🥺

Jay saved them 🥺

Ok relationships are so confusing wtf

THE MUSICAL EPISODE, MON-EL, SUPERGIRL OMG ITS BEEN A WHILE WTH!! Imma rewatch supergirl too😃

Melissa Benoist is so gorgeous 🥴🤩

The way Barry looked at her when she was singing I-

I love their friendship but I kinda ship them too🥺

OH I REMEMBER! this guy was trying to teach them a lesson about love, because they were both having relationship problems

He was also on glee. THE 3 OF THEM! I-

Darren Criss, I didn't know his name

I love this episode

Cisco and Winn And Malcolm singing and dancing, this couldn't get better

Omg I would love to see a Winn-Cisco-Felicity trio. I feel like they would work so great together 😁

IRIS AND MON-EL well actually Tommy Moran and Millie

Their fathers being gangsters is hilarious and their accents 😂

Everyone's facial expressions when John revealed that he was also an Alien 😂

Millie having 2 dads and those being Stein and Joe is great lmao although I never knew if it was because they were hay or it was more like Barry's situation 😂

JOE AND STEIN SINGING AND BARRY IN THE BACK Y'ALL IM🤭🤩🥺

I never thought I needed this 🥰

THEIR DUET IS COMING VDXHSBFVDHA

THEY'RE DANCING 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

This is officially one of my favorite episodes 😃

When they got shot they were very worried for each other and I just love their friendship

HE'S ABOUT TO PROPOSE, HE'S SINGING AHHHHH

COME RUNNIN HOME TO YOUUU 🎶🥺

I really liked how in the episode where Caitlin gets hurt when Abra Kadabra throws a bomb, Julian's the one to operate on her and Iris is right there with him trying to help out, even though they weren't truly friends until later on it shows that they're all really a family

And also Wally and Barry carrying her to the room 🥺

Also the fact that it was Caitlin guiding Julian through her own surgery shows how strong and amazing she is I love her 🤩

Caitlin (killer frost actually) is the 1st to know who Savitar is

BRO CECILE JUST TOLD JOE SHE LOVES HIM AND HE DIDNT- this got too ~umconfy~

Bro killer frost's outfit is pretty hot 🤩

Cisco was afraid of killing Caitlin on accident and that's why he didn't shoot her whenever they were trying to get her🥺

"She's my best friend... And I'd rather it be me than her"

I love him. And I love their friendship.🥺😞

BAHSHAHHA do y'all remember when they erased Barry's memories?

He's hilarious

JAHSHAHAJAJ and now they left him alone with Wally who told him they're basically brothers AND BARRY STRAIGHT UP GOT HIS HAND OUT OF HIS POCKET AND LOOKED AT HIS SKIN COLOR I-

Barry loved anime

He's so happy without his memories, he's gone through so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Snart prevented Barry from killing King Shark

HR and Tracy 🥺

The way HR blamed himself after he told Savitar where Iris was and the fact that he does end up saving her at the end is...🥺

Bro I felt really bad for Savitar later

But then he betrayed and 🙂

And now Barry just left

I swear I hated this cliffhanger sm

Cause whenever I started watching it this was the last season and I-

Also Iris killed Savitar

[saleintothe90s]

423. The Chevy Chase Show, September 9, 1993.

The other day, I ran across this video from YouTube user VideoDisorder that discussed the first episode of the Chevy Chase Show.  He hit all the same points I hit when I wrote my entry about Chevy’s extremely short lived talk show from 1993. I loved his video so much that … that I had to watch another episode of Chevy’s show. I just really have the craving to tear down another episode.

I’m watching night three of Chevy’s show, September 9, 1993 . I chose this one primarily because our boy, Harry Anderson from Night Court and Dave’s World was in it. 

Also, I had a dream a few weeks ago that Harry and I were community college students who were married and lived in the huge money pit house my parents and I moved into my senior year of high school. Seemed fitting.

The show opens with Chevy putting on a wig, which kinda makes him look like he did at the beginning of the Christmas Vacation movie. (Clip: youtube.com/watch?v=ozksR8QLWzM) Just me? ok.

Oh, but no, there’s a baby in it!  Harry’s gonna staple gun it on for Chevy.

Chevy still thinks it’s funny to fall and stumble into his opening … its night three, Chevy. Stop it. He also tries to make a basketball hoop just like he did on night one. Was that supposed to be a tradition? A reference to the Fletch movie? The modern equivalent to this would be on Good Mythical Morning when Rhett and Link do a tournament and Link always misses throwing away the bad food behind his back into the trash can. (Tiny print: man they’ve been doing that too much, but ANYWAY)

Chevy does a tour of the set, which he shoulda done the first night instead of that birthday cake bit with Goldie Hawn’s son. He shows off the aquarium….oh that reminds me of something I found last night!!  I went to see if I could find anything about the show on The Internet Archive (archive.org). I found this article from this small down paper about high schooler’s thoughts on the late night wars of 1993 1.

Chevy flubbed his lines through the entire segment. He said the guest book passport thing was there to “Keep his guests from coming back” by accident. Tell us what you really feel, Chevy.  Someone in the audience even heckled him! 

Chevy: …they get some sort of prize..

Audience Member: LIKE WHAT?!

Chevy: The first prize would be trying to get you out of her in a fashion that wouldn’t be too exciting.

On your tenth visit (okay) you could get Michael Jackson in a can. Audience boos. This was a couple of weeks after the beginning of the claims that Michael had molested a boy.

Chevy then goes into a segment where he goes to a desk company to look for his desk. They got to visit the desk from Barbarians at the Gate! Something I’ve been meaning to watch for years. Tyre’s also dumb jokes about Chevy putting gum under a desk, and then retrieving it. The man at the desk warehouse said “ew”. He wasn’t playing, straight up “ew”.  I had to stop it at that point. Zzz city.

A dramatic recreation of Martin getting Nair put on by makeup ladies.

Martin Short is the first guest of the night. They sing a song from Three Amigos and its cute. Martin has a full head of fuzzy hair. It’s glorious. The interview is not. I caught myself reading the news on my phone during it. At one point, Martin says, “I will imagine my own death, and imagine people hearing the news.” Later on he discusses being in the movie Clifford and how he had Nair his legs, and he got the makeup crew to help him. Turns out he had his “little fella” hanging out of his underwear the whole time.

The News Update segment is awful. He tried to tell a joke about the rampant killings of tourists in Florida at the time:  

“The two white men in Florida who were charged [stumbles] on all accounts of setting black men on fire were convicted … that’s it… the two men could face two life terms, or a stiffer sentence of driving a rental car through Miami dressed as German tourists.”

(Crowd groans, someone in the audience even said, “NOPE!”)

He also calls Snoop Doggy Dogg, “SNOOPS Doggy Dog”.  How is he stumbling through everything like this.

On inhalant abuse, especially with aerosol deodorant:

“These are you underarms on drugs”

FINALLY, we get to Harry! This was right before Dave’s World started, where Harry played writer Dave Barry. Harry describes Dave’s books as “books you read on a plane”, and his newspaper column, “as something you read on the crapper”.

Why do I remember the bathroom from Dave’s World so well! I loved that house. 

“Was that your card?”

NO. They brought this stupid segment back from the first night. I don’t know what this even IS. It’s not funny, I know that. I read in Chevy’s biography by Rena Fruchter that these were all his faces. 2

“I love Harry Anderson, I love all of you. Goodnight.”

Facebook | Etsy | Retail History Blog | Twitter | |YouTube Playlist | Random Post | ko-fi donation | Instagram @ thelastvcr | other tumblr

“Late Night Battle Begins” Romulus Roman, September 26. 1993.  https://archive.org/details/Romulus091993/09-22-1993/page/n21/mode/2up

Fruchter, Rena. I’m Chevy Chase-- and You’re Not: The Authorized Biography. London: Virgin, 2007. 154.

Related:  Unearthing the Complete and Total Disaster That Was ‘The Chevy Chase Show’ By Roger Cormier 

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (26)

@spickerzocker​ said:

hey there! just a heads up that i tried to click on the "why i don't ship" explanation link in your faq and it says that there is no post with that url/it's generally broken. also your "a conversation about recovery" thing is beautiful and hurts in the best way and i love it. have a nice day!

Yes, I intentionally took that link down awhile ago, and last night I went and updated some of the tabs on my blog. Here are my basic thoughts:

I wrote that link years and years ago, while I was first navigating the internet and while I was still figuring out important things about my own identity and opinions. I ran my blog differently back then, but by the end of the first few months, I knew I was uncomfortable with shipping. 

As people began to interact with me and my work, I told them over and over again no, I don’t want to talk about that, and I don’t want to write about it, and it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think that was a common position to take at the time, so it wasn’t what people expected from me. 

During those years, I felt like I had to justify myself and give a valid explanation. I wrote that post explaining why I had that boundary, and I put it in a place where anyone could find it.

I said no when people asked, let them make jokes about it, and made jokes about it myself in response. As time went on I got more and more exasperated when I had to repeat myself. I wrote definite rules into my ask box, request tab, and FAQ. People still asked. I wrote it into my description. People still asked. 

The truth is yeah, there’s a pretty simple explanation for my discomfort. It makes sense. It’s easy to understand, and most folks think it’s a “good enough” reason to leave me alone. The difference between young-me and current-me is that I no longer feel the need to justify myself. 

None of y’all need to know why I set the boundaries that I set. My explanation isn’t relevant, and I’m not obligated to give it. I said no. That’s enough. 

I think a good number of folks remember my explanation from the past, and I don’t mind that at all. There may be a time where I talk about it again, in a more appropriate context, so I guess we’ll see.

That’s a lot of information in response to a very helpful ask. Thanks! The link is gone now, and I’m so pleased that you enjoyed the fic :)

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Anonymous said:

U suck

Kenza sent this anon as a joke. She’s right, and I thank her. 

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Anonymous said:

I'm a doctor and ive seen it all.....but the milk fic made me gag

Excellent

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@wingedskyes said:

Ah. Wait. I wasn't on anon....uhm. oh well. It's fine. I like milk and am not ashamed. 😆

I don’t think I received another message from you actually, but I too like milk and I’m glad we’re on the same page

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@thelittleredheadedmusician said:

To add to the milk discussions: my best friend from home and best friend from college have each finished a gallon a milk by themselves within 2 days.

I do that too, every once in awhile. When the milk craving hits it’s a gallon a day

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Anonymous said:

"TIM! POUR HIM. A GLASS OF M A L K!"

Hold on I have to google some things

Yeah this is funny

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Anonymous said:

I have read that milk fic three separate times and every time I’m laughing just as hard as Tim and dick by the end it’s just so excellently executed and builds so perfectly that by the time dick cracks I’m ready to go too and I just lose it it’s amazing I love it

Awww anon I’m so pleased :)

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@the-smartass-under-the-mountain said:

Just wanted to drop by and say your recent fic with Tim antagonizing Damian with increasingly outrageous milk concoctions had me giggling. It was so cute and refreshing to see Dick enjoying Tim's little prank. And Bruce's reaction to just... walk away was fantastic!

Thank you! I’m always so thrilled when y’all think the jokes hit

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@njtheboywonder​ said:

I havnt really enjoyed a fic in years, but i stopped to read ur fanfic with tim drinking milk just to fuck w dami amd it made me smile. Thanks, for writing it.

Oh that warms my heart <3

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@bruciewayneisbatman​ said:

Tim Is totally the guy who would drink ridiculous amounts of dalgona coffee to annoy damian, according to that fic.

Had to google that one, but I guess so huh

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Anonymous said:

(diff anon) but that birthday fic was so good oml and you have opened my eyes as to the batfam in quarantine this is such a Concept

We’re all here dying..... together...

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Anonymous said:

Happy birthday! 🎉 or belated! 🎂 thank you for being in the fandom. 😊

&

Anonymous said:

To anon! Sorry. I forgot to add that! Anyway, thanks to them we get a lovely fic. I hope you have many more birthdays! 😊

Message for you anon

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Anonymous said:

Your writing gives off good vibes

Hear that guys I “passed my vibe check.” Is that what the youth say these days? I am an elder now and I do not know

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Anonymous said:

finding your blog while being relatively new to batman fandom is such a bliss. your batfam content especially is *chef's kiss* amazing.

Thank you my darling :) I’m glad you’re here

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Anonymous said:

Best line in a fic? Hard to pick just one, but this particular one from "Just Desserts" by fyeahbatmanandrobin on Tumblr is one of my faves: “Anyone else would be hard-pressed to provide the particular brand of excitement you bring to my life, Dami.”

&

@noisypaintersong​ said:

For the line thing: "I don't doubt it. Bruce Wayne, the unexpectedly normal guy wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a superhero wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a fake socialite wrapped in a businessman wrapped in a secretive billionaire." He paused. "…You're the seven-layer burrito of Gotham," he pondered. - Barry to Bruce in 'Of Friends and Foes' by Paganpunk2 on FFN. It's one of the funniest things I've read someone say to Bruce LOL

& 

@kirakats​ submitted:

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Anonymous said:

“I do know that according to everyone else, there is no chance, no future, no universe where I stay a hero.” Describes my frustration with the way DC treats Damian so accurately. Let the kid be a hero dammit.

Thanks! That’s really helpful. I’ve got a decent answer to my question now. 

@kurawastaken​ submitted:

So this is Kenza retaliating against me for the milk fic. I very much hate tomatoes and specifically ketchup. This photo (1) is a nightmare and (2) fulfills its intended purpose.

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Anonymous said:

I love your blog!!!

And I love you 

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Anonymous said:

quick question: how do you think jason reconciles with the fam?? i think in the comics they kinda just reboot and now he’s on better terms. but like what conversations happened, yknow??? (you’re doin great work by the way, it rips out my heart but it’s great)

This is an amazing question, and I’ll be thinking about it for the next bit, I think. That would be a really interesting topic to explore in depth

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@angel-gidget​ said:

*hugs you real tight* would you please send this to the first 10 people in your dash? Make sure someone gets a hug today and stay safe!

Oh thank you for the hug <3

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Anonymous said:

I hadn’t been aware of that Memphis petition, but I live in Memphis too (Altho I know you said you just grew up there so you may not be living here currently haha) so ig I just wanted to say thanks for bringing it to my attention!

!!!

I’ve been in Texas for six years now, ever since I started school, but I’m still in and out of Memphis for family purposes. Love the trash heap of my birth 

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@damianwaynerocks​ said:

hey! any chance you know of any other dc heroes around damian’s age?

Sure! You could try Billy Batson, Jon Kent, or Maya Ducard

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Anonymous said:

hi! i don't know if it's okay to leave anons like these but ive been feeling down because my country has passed a bill that deprives us of lots of human rights freedom and i want you to know that i just found your blog through the damian/bruce + justice fic and it comforted me. im slowly going thru your works and so far they are all comforting. i love your stuff, thank you.

Philippines? I’ve heard some things, and I’m real sorry y’all’re going through that. I don’t know that there’s anything I could say about that to help, but I hope you’re finding joy somewhere

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@awesomeness-ofgaybitches​ said:

Tumblr hates you. The links in your bio and to your fic masterlist don't work on mobile. I'm sorry.

FUCK

[myrandomfandomramblings]

Arrowverse Science Fair AU

~2004 National Highschool (Gr. 8-12) Science Fair

Projects:

Felicity Smoak (Gr. 9) – Computer software to detect card counters. She may or may not have hacked into online card games to test it (this wasn’t included in/on her project.)

Cisco Ramon (Gr. 8 or 9) – Piano playing robot. He thought it played better than Dante. His parents didn’t agree.

Caitlin Snow (Gr. 9) – Analysis of physiological response to various stimuli. She wanted to find stimuli that would help kids cope with traumatic experiences (say crashing their bike or losing their father.) If she was able to find something that made her mom show some/any emotion that would be a bonus.

Barry Allen (Gr. 9) – Growing crystals (lots of different and cool ones). His project started out as an attempt to make something special for Iris for her birthday but turned into an elaborate project. It ended up being a good choice because 1) it reminded Barry of his parents (the first science experiment they did together was grow Borax crystals on pipecleaner and 2) it followed Joe’s ‘your science fair project must make, not destroy things’ rule instated after Barry’s Gr. 6 project.

Alex (Gr. 9) and Kara (Gr. 8) Danvers – Birds in my Backyard. Eliza had insisted on Alex getting Kara involved in her science fair project this year. Alex was excited to show Kara the science fair experience she enjoyed but wanted to pick a topic she knew more about that Kara (her knowledge of math and science was intimidating enough without the superpowers). Seeing Kara’s interest in birds they decided to study birds in their backyard. With Alex’s design and Kara’s powers they built tall post’s and attached bird houses and feeders with differing properties. They then monitored which kinds of birds built nests and ate from where (with some help from Kara’s flight and X-ray vision). Alex also picked 5 nests from different species to chronicle the embryo and chick development. Kara enjoyed doing the project and learning about birds from Alex. The actual science fairs, not so much but those were Alex’s favourite part. Note: Streaky was locked in the house for the duration of the project so he wouldn’t eat any of the birds.

Winn Schott (Gr. 11) – Pop-up room/ room in a suitcase. Being in the foster system for the last couple years inspired Winn to design a room that collapsed to the size of a suitcase for easy transport but could expand in less than a minute into a nice-sized, fully-furnished, sound-proof room, so no matter how many times a foster kid was moved around they always had their own space and stuff. Also good for camping, travel and special short-term events (like waiting in line at conventions).

Lena Luthor (Gr. 5) – Oxygen absorbing/releasing crystal that could allow breathing underwater. After her Mum drown when Lena was four, she was determined to develop a simple way for people to breath under water. She was able to do just that by synthesizing a substance that absorbed and stored large amounts of oxygen then released it slowly (so if someone held in in their mouth, they could breathe underwater). She was happy and excited that her mom and older brother were interested in her project but a little frustrated and concerned that they were so focused on its ability to absorb all the oxygen from a room (in a big enough amount). Although she supposed it could be used in that capacity to control/extinguish fires. Note: although in elementary school, Lena got to compete against the high schoolers since her project was so advanced for her age.

Sara Lance (Gr. 11) – The Biomechanics of Dance and Martial Arts. As punishment for skipping classes, then sassing her teacher and principal when they tried to discipline her for skipping classes, Sara had to complete a science fair project. To make the best of it Sara chose something that interested her. In hindsight she wished she hadn’t. Her project was so good she was chosen to represent her school at the state and national science fair.

Ronnie Raymond (Gr. 9-12?)- Structural design to minimize Superman related damage in Metropolis. Ronnie was proud of his project and had enjoyed analyzing the powers of Metropolis’ hero, but he lost any chance he had at winning when he decided to leave his project to go flirt with Caitlin. At least Kara, whose project was next to his, seemed interested.

Hartley Rathaway – something to do with sound waves

Lily Stein (Gr. 11) – designing and comparing different miniaturized forms of renewable energy sources. She had some help from her dad.

Patty Spivot – Recreation of crime scene evidence using food models. A bunch of her friends (her whole cabin actually) from her summer camp for those interested in law enforcement came to support her.

-       Maggie Sawyer – seemed really interested in the bird project

-       Ralph Dibny – found every project that said it was OK to touch. His favourite was slime. To Patty’s surprise he didn’t break anything.

-       Dinah Drake – hung out with Patty most of the time. Talked to Hartley, beside her, about his project on sound waves for a bit (seemed kinda interested). Patty joined her when she got into a conversation with Sara, across the way, and Laurel about the implications of her biomechanics project in fighting and self-defence. The rest of the time they talked about that Vince guy from camp Dinah thought was cute.

-       Eddie Thawne – he hung out with Patty most of the time too but did do a lap of the fair with Iris, who was there supporting Barry, when she accepted his offer to buy her something at the concession.

Notable events:

- Clark came to see Alex and Kara’s project and brought James and Lois with him. Kara and Clark (very subtly) tested the models on the project beside them that had been abandoned and were said to be superman proof/resistant. They were very impressed to discover the models did indeed stand-up to heat vison, freeze breath and super-strength leading Clark to believe the student had a bright future. James spent most of his time talking to Winn about his pop-up room project because, “Don’t you think these would be way better than cubicles, the Daily Planet should definitely purchase some.”

- Cat Grant, a young reporter from the National City Tribune pushing a stroller, came around and interviewed all the contestants because, “What better place to find the next world changing innovator or innovation” as she put it when she stopped to talk to Clark (more like flirt Kara thought). Alex used Clark distracting Cat as an opportunity to play with the baby in the stroller. This was the only time during the entire science fair Alex was distracted, except maybe when Maggie had come, but they mainly talked about the project like Alex did with everyone, which left Alex wondering why it felt different. During their entire interview Cat called Kara Kira, much to her annoyance. At least the baby seemed to like her. This interview sparked a conversation between Kara, Lois and Clark about journalism which Iris overhead while she was visiting Barry and joined in.

- Graduate students Ray Palmer and Curtis Holt were volunteer judges and ticket takers. Curtis wore a varsity jacket over his shirt and tie which covered his name tag, but at every project he judged he would describe every aspect as terrific, so the contestants started calling him Mr. Terrific. While judging Barry’s project they began a discussion about their favourite elements/minerals/gems. Barry couldn’t decide so joked he liked Barium. Ray shared his love for dwarf star alloy with a ‘quick’ lecture about its rumoured properties and potential uses. Curtis listed at least 10 compounds essential for modern tech as he flip-flopped back and forth trying to decide a favourite and Lex Luthor who was visiting his sister’s project beside them interjected that he favoured kryptonite. While taking tickets Curtis witnessed the following interaction. He asked Damian Darhk, who was carrying baby Nora, what brought him to the science fair. He responded with “These are the brightest young minds in the country and being young means they are malleable. So, there is nowhere better to recruit future talent for my enterprise.” Malcolm Merlyn, who was behind, him added “I know exactly what you mean with what the world’s coming to we’re going to need a bright mind to save it.” This led Tommy, who was accompanying him, to say “I thought we were just here to support the Queen’s.” Then one of the other judges, Dr. Harrison Wells aka Eobard Thawne in disguise, added “No your Dad is right. This world’s next HERO could be in this very room. I’ve already made a list of students to keep my eye on.” He pulled out a small piece of paper from his pocket. On it Curtis saw four names: Hartley Rathaway, Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow and Ronnie Raymond. This led to a long conversation between the three men about numerous threats to society, the country and the world and the possible drastic solutions that would need to be employed to stop them. When they left Curtis turned to Ray and asked, “Was it just me or were those Doomsday Dudes really creepy?” “What” Ray replied his attention clearly being pulled from elsewhere. But before Curtis could answer a voice behind him said “Doomsday Dudes is a terrible nickname you should call them the Legion of Doom.” Curtis turned to find Cisco. “Just saying,” he continued, “anyway I heard there’s free Big Belly Burger for the contestants. When’s that coming?” Ray had missed the entire conversation Curtis was asking about because he had been making funny faces at baby Nora the whole time hoping to make her smile or laugh but she had just stared at him with her big blue eyes.

- Queen consolidated gave out a $1500 scholarship and a summer internship at the applied sciences division. This year Moira and Robert had made Oliver come and brought 9-year-old Thea. Oliver was tasked with watching Thea who ran around the entire science fair wanting to look at and touch all the projects even the ones with big ‘Do Not Touch’ signs on them. She spent at least an hour trying to get everybody around the robot pianist to sing and dance with her. Most people ignored her although she was able to get Cisco, Winn, Stein, Joe, Kara (who kept trying to get Alex to join) and to Oliver’s surprise Malcolm Merlyn all to sing with her and they were all surprisingly good. She also got many people to dance including the Lance girls. She even convinced Cisco to make the robot play some of her favourite songs from Disney movies. Barry was very happy that he was able to convince Iris to dance with him for a couple songs with just a little encouragement from Thea and despite Kara’s constant encouragement Alex only agreed to dance when Maggie asked. Oliver had to present his family’s award which went to Felicity. When her name was announced Donna yelled “Woohoo, that’s my daughter! Way to go sweetie!” which earned a whispered “Mom, ssshh” and accompanied eye roll from Felicity as she headed to the stage with her head down and cheeks flushed. When she got onstage Oliver presented her with her award and Felicity began to babble, “Thanks. This is so cool. I’m such a big fan of yours… well not yours… your company… your family’s company. But uh you seem cool too. I could be a fan of yours, but not like a creepy stalker fan just like a normal supportive fan, ya know. I’m sorry, I’m rambling, it’s just, I don’t know what to say. Your very handsome… and I just said that out loud. I’m so sorry.” She stops and whispers “come on Smoak, pull yourself together,” then takes a deep breath before addressing Oliver again, “Thank-you again for the award and I look forward to working with you, or for you. I’m just gonna go now.” Oliver couldn’t help smiling as she left and thinking that just maybe if she had been around when Thea was partnering everyone up to dance he may have just participated.

- Kara quickly got bored of standing by her project and started wandering around to talk to the other contestants. She spent a good chunk of time talking to Barry. Tried to join in on a heated debate between Felicity, Cisco and Winn about the best language to code in but quickly left when she had no idea what they were talking about. She ended up spending most of her time with Lena. They talked about their projects, their lives and interests and about dealing with new and scary situations especially when you feel different from everyone else and learnt that they were both adopted. However, the whole time they were talking Lena’s eyes kept scanning the room as if waiting for something to jump out and scare her. Kara learnt why when a woman Kara thought must be Lena’s mother showed up and menacingly questioned why she was distracting her daughter.

- J’onn came in disguise to check out the Danvers sister’s project

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 16-20

well we're back after a short break from last episode's explosive discoveries

episode 16: that which is lost

lust plz fuery has never spoken to a hottie before

you know what i need an alcohol

pause

ok im back

roy r u a masochist

bradley youre lying about marcoh

wait...why does bradley think the philosophers stone doesnt exist?? um

omg why is team mustang running their mouths rn

edward that was SNAPPPPPPPPPPYY

mustang please shut up

armstrong is top tier

always has been

alphonse is as precious as ever i see

yes tell him edward cause 2003 roy mustang cut off my big toe

nina flashbacks ope

scar be holding kids hostage now? aight....

damn marcoh whad did u do!!!!!! homie stabbed lust

it wont work but im proud of the effort!!!

alphonse is lost???? not my son!!!!

a farm boy hello farm boy

drawing passed down the armstrong line for generations

oooooh ed droppin the ishval bomb

GIRLY JUST STOLE HIS LEG???? MAAm

how did he not feel the nerves coming apart from his body

also girl that wont work for your dad hes probably 85 times taller than ed

al getting deep with farm boy

ALPHONSE

ED HOW DID YOU REATTACH THAT LEG YOURSELF

whats going on here anyway

just to talk about ptsd and stuff ig??

why does ed just tell anyone now that al lost his body sir keep it to yourself

HAHAHAHA "YES????"

i love them

episode 17: house of the waiting family

"no family waiting" edward...pinako and winry are rolling over in their graves

awww light purple worksuit love the look win!!!

proud of u for growing ed

ed your heart eyes are showing

this episode is so far like the same as fmab 6 so i feel like theres not much to say

oh a weird cow and a girl

nelly or whoever has a big ASS FOREHEAD

oh the beginnings of al's identity crisis i see

hahaha armstrong

AL OF COURSE YOU HAD FRIENDS BABYDOLL

where did armstrong come from

sry i stopped paying attention for a sec

SEE THIS IS WHY I WAS LIKE HOW TF DID ED CONNECT HIS LEG HIMSELF LAST EP

ed and winry are god tier ship no matter the medium

major spaz

oh winry is gonna open that watch

i guess they dont need to go to freaking rush valley and have paninya steal it if they already did the birth arc with gracia instead ugh

ed were you showering in your boxers

my son is so stupid

GO OOOOOOFFFFFFFF WINRY ROCKBELL!!!!!!!!

awwww theyre at the house

omg winry's got the light they were talking about

she loves them so much

dont forget 3 oct 10?????? nah 11 homie

anywayyyyy

episode 18: marcoh's notes

before we start ROSS AND BROSH MAYBE PLEASE???? wouldnt put it past them to take them out

huh???? lust looks like who now

side note my sister, who is watching brotherhood for the first time, had the idea to make gluttony shaped stress balls like HOW CUTE????

anyways

edward is an absolute nerd

"not as if the library is going anywhere" sure sure dont jinx it armstrong

OMG ROSS AND BROSHHHHHHH

HEART EYES

hahahaha edward on the floor

"I THOUGHT YOU'D BE FULLER AND MORE METAL" BROSH PLEASE!!!!!!

oops bye bye library

guess we're off to see sheska again

sheska is definitely a lesbian

i mean shes like amestrian velma dinkley

sir r u really gonna transmute the ashes

i-jesus

i mean i think of this everytime i see sheska i think about how crazy having a photographic memory would be but how crazy would having a photographic memory be

s2g hughes' eyes are literally like highlighter green

why is alphonse such an angel!!!!!!!

whenever hughes goes off by himself i get nervous because 03 can do anything...like expect the unexpected when it comes to 03 honestly

so um is lust....scar's brother's gf or something?

oh i forgot i was reacting and now the episode is over hahaha okay

episode 19: the truth behind truths

the kids have it ROUGH

maria ross mom friend vibes rn

oh my god edward

the tea cup...al's face...my kids

03 ed is so depressed my god

both ed and al need a hug

ooooofffff 5th lab

i guess we're gonna see barry again since they decided to introduce alive human barry for shits and giggles

the boys are gonna SHIT. THEIR. PANTS. when homie shows up

hold on

aRE THEY SAYING BLOCK???

yEAH

I googled it and Brosh is also pronounced as "Bloch" which i guess makes sense

so thrown off but im dumb as heell so

hahahaha with the barbed wire 

hi scar ya too late pal

kinda vibin with these background tunes

spoopy

ummm scar what r u DOIN

what the f alchemy is that

oh great scar is going to the 5th ig

envy i missed u!!!

oh imitating my son? rude

“the guards are idiots” well here we go slicer bros and barry

to be honest if i ran into a booby trap smorgasbord in  real life i would Die

there they are the armored palz

THE BOULDER AND HE’s SMALL

HAHAHAHA

um was that

greed? lying down in a purplish aura thingy?

um sir?

*rewinds 10 seconds to check*

yeah

number 48 is kinda snatched though???

gasp! a blood seal!! what who knew!!

episode 20: soul of the guardian

im just impatiently waiting for the barry reveal at this point

but ed and 48 are just doing their thing ya know

for an episode with two fights, they sure do a looooottttt of talking 

yessssss here we go barry the chopper

ok i do prefer this in manga/fmab canon though

cause its so funny when barry is offended that al had never heard of him and he thinks he this prolific serial killer and al is like

well um im from the country sooo 

but anyways yeah i totally forgot he kidnapped winry in this what an odd choice fr

AL’S FACE HHAHAHA

“no im not a crook” of course not alphonse

tbt to my first time watching fmab and being like “...kyo????” as soon as barry started talking

here comes lil slicer

there he is!!! bros just being bros

i TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT SCAR JESUS CHRIST

um where’d he go he was just here

seriously where tf did he go

gonna have to rewind in a second but maybe im just stupid

actually i am stupid thats a well established point

oh here we go al’s full fledged identity crisis subplot 

oh baby

ok now that ive got to the end lemme rewind and see if i actually saw scar or if i blacked out for a hot sec

OHHHHHHH HE WAS PICTURING SCAR’S DESTRUCTION STRATEGY it was a lil baby flashback

yeah i truly am dumb

we’ve known for awhile now

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 51

Last Time: The Bus Came Back, Al really needs to learn Morse Code, and the Golems woke up. Onwards!

Oh snap, new opening. Soft music as Ed and Al stand together in Central, looking at the lit-up castle until Ed looks away to blue pictures of Roy’s Crew wait I just saw Hughes in there. Oooh no. That’s not a good sign. Ok it’s including everyone from Armstrong the Great to General Grumman so unless this show’s heading towards a Total Party Wipe (which is not as unlikely as I’d like) it must just be stylistic. Wait what that was a white Truth outline that looked a heck of a lot like Winry. Please tell me she’s ok. Aaaand now it’s all red and black as someone (Ed?) screams and other flashes of red souls oh it’s the Goths. Aw hell it’s the Goths! And Uncle as well looking annoyed until GAH it’s one of those freaking Golems. Ok back to calming blue pictures of the Good Guys, then Al’s Soul still sitting at the Gate of Truth with his empty armor behind him, and Truth laughing like the jerk he is. Winry! Wi- wait why are you standing in a white dress at the edge of a cliff? Young lady that’s far too close, step back right now. Also stop crying and/or point me in the direction of whoever made you cry. We get a title for this song (“Rain”) as townspeople and villagers look up at the storm clouds in concern, and Military soldiers run out alongside tanks whaaaaat is that? What is that there’s a hunched figure standing in flames, zoomed in to show glowing white eyes and very big teeth. Now it’s Bradley in a bloodied white shirt sitting in the rain acting all calm and collected, switch to complete opposite of Scar tossing aside his jacket ooooh are we gonna get Scar fighting Bradley in this arc? Yeah I know that the trailers always lie but there tends to be elements of truth like the arms that grabbed Al coming up in a later arc. Now it’s the Chimera Army (sadly not under the command of General Al), and the Armstrong Siblings standing alongside each other and Mrs. and Mr. Curtis! Good to see you guys again! Wait Roy why do you look so upset? Riza why are you crying in an alleyway with your dog? And now Ed and Al are standing on opposite sides of a tree damnit are they gonna get separated again? Ok finally the sun’s broken through NOPE NOPE DEAD PERSON ALERT THAT LOOKS LIKE MAMA ELRIC BUT IT PROBABLY ISN’T EITHER RUN OR PUNCH IT ED. Nevermind he was just dreaming. While being watched over by Winry. Kinda cute, but kinda creepy too. Episode 51 - “The Immortal Legion” Oh great, this episode is gonna focus on those creepy Golems. Just what I wanted to start the new year with, yay. So a bunch of pipes are disconnecting from the gasping artificial zombies who land kneeling on the floor, before standing GREAT they’re in that uncanny 3D modeling that Titan!Envy used. Officer laughs at the labcoat’s insistence that they needed more tests, pointing at the undying, obedient, invincible soldiers. [Officer]: “We have our Title Drop, at long last!” Now he’s ordering the Golems (“Papa” NO) to deal with the renegade ele- Uh What So… One of the Golems walked forward and just… tore out his throat with its teeth. And a bunch of other Golems have pounced on the screaming Officer. Who’s no longer screaming. Aaaand now they’ve stopped, and turned with bloody mouths to the labcoat. … … … How fucking stupid are these guys? I mean really. REALLY. How has Amestris lasted as a country this long if this is what its leadership and researchers are like? How could the labcoats have failed so spectacularly to create Zombies when the goal was to create Golems? What kind of shoddy “tests” were they running to not figure out that their supposedly obedient soldiers were mindless killing beasts? Was there no prototype? Did they literally build an army of these things just assuming that they would all work? You fail, my good sirs! You fail at Science! And you, Officer! You completely ignored the guy whose job it is to know things, who told you that the weapon wasn’t ready, and you just set it off? You were so blinded by your arrogance and desire for command over others that you unleashed this army of Zombies without any assurance that they wouldn’t kill you for standing in front of them? Uncle. I get that you’re a bad guy. I get that you view humanity as a lesser species, no better than fuel for yourself and your Goths. And frankly, after seeing this Kimblee level of incompetence, I can see your point. But you have to have seen this coming. You had to have known that your minions were this stupid, this incredible level of dumbfuckery that has me storming around my room, ranting at the utter failure of this Officer and researcher. Clearly this is the reason you made your Goths, because if this was the level of ability you led before you made more competent henchmen? It’s a miracle that the whole country hasn’t gone up in flames without even the slightest effort by the Conspiracy.

Ok. Ok, we need to move on. So while that whole mess is kicking off, Ed’s reached the Door beneath The Third Laboratory. Oh hey, Barry’s still there! Miss you, you were funny when you weren’t killing innocents or trying to flirt with Riza. Giant door, check. Now how to open it. Actually, do we want to open it? Is it connected to the Transmutation Circle, is opening it playing into Uncle’s hands? Ah well, Ed’s gonna try anyway, struggles for a bit pulling at the seam (maybe it’s a push door?) until Scar gets bored and prepares to HoD it oh hey it’s opening CLOSE IT CLOSE IT CLOSE IT ZOMBIES CLOSE IIIIIIIIITTTTTTT Oh hey Armstrong the Great. Still haven’t killed the second General? Yeah he’s more useful as a bullet shield right now, and he’s still a General so he can order the Central Forces to stand down. Only he’s not giving the order? Huh. I’m actually kinda impressed here, guy’s been stabbed multiple times and has a gun to his head but he still gives an order to seal all entrances to Central. Still a bad guy and Armstrong the Great’s absolutely going to kill him now, but still. Ooor instead of Armstrong the Great, it’ll be Sloth literally crushing him. Ouch. Oooh dear, seems Sloth’s been ordered to kill Armstrong the Great for interfering, and she doesn’t have a tank or a snowstorm this time. She’s still laughing though, thanking the Goth for opening up another General seat, and brandishes her blade. [Armstrong the Great]: “This sword was passed through the Armstrong Family for generations. Now I don’t have to sully it with his filthy blood!” Adventure Strings continue as Ed’s fighting the Zombie Horde, the Chimera’s are throwing punches and Scar’s breaking out the HoDs to kill… oh dear. Scar’s One Hit Kill isn’t killing. That’s not good. The Zombies groan and shuffle around them- [Zombie]: “Big Brother!” NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU, WHOEVER WROTE THAT LINE YOU DO NOT TARNISH ONE OF THE SADDEST MOMENTS IN THIS SHOW WITH THESE MONSTERS SCREW. YOU.

Ed’s reacting in shock, realizing that they used human souls to make the Zombies, even somehow poor Nina’s. And for all the Zombies already, more and more come pouring through the door. Scar’s right, if these things escape outside to where civilians are just standing around wondering at all the Military soldiers running around, it’ll be a slaughter… Oh. Ok, I get it. Uncle deliberately set this up so the Officers (who are still IDIOTS) would set off a slaughter of the Central populace, probably to fuel the Transmutation Circle like Kimblee orchestrated the Drachman’s destruction up north. Back inside, Ed seals off the exit to keep the Zombies in ok sorry I have to say something, did the animation budget get cut for this episode to focus on the Zombies? Because for whatever reason Ed just seems off-model today, his face keeps looking rounder and younger. Anyways, the Chimeras are eager to let loose in a fight and transform, the group charges towards the Gate to plow through the horde and reach “that bearded bastard”. Outside Military forces are trying to close off roads and keep the Armory Ice Cream Truck from escaping, until a certain Briggs Officer arrives to express his displeasure. [Central Officer]: “A- a bear! A bear with a mohawk! Aaaa-” So Roy and his Crew are safely out of town, but now they’ll have some trouble getting back in. Although the Military are looking for an ice cream truck specifically. Almost makes me wish Ed was here to Transmute up a disguise for the vehicle. Almost mind you, things aren’t so desperate we need that just yet. Lion’s still at the Dome, wondering how things are going with the others. With nothing better to do he goes to talk to Al, ask what that annoying tapping noise is FINALLY thank you so Al didn’t know but Lion with his military experience was able to identify the dot dot dot dash dash dash dot dot dot and realize that Al needs to shut Pride up, NOW. He’s been broadcasting your loca- Uh oh. Kimblee’s here. And as much as I insult the guy, I think he’s probably strong enough to brush past an injured Lion and break Pride out- Or straight up kill Lion while knocking a hole in the Dome. Damnit. Pride is loose. Mid-ep pictures of Zombies (“Mannequin Soldiers”) doing the See-Speak-Hear No Evil poses, and Alphonse Elric looking pissed. Aw shit May’s getting chased by Zombies in the tunnels! Run May! Run Shao May! Screw Envy, leave him to get eaten by the monsters! She screams at Envy for tricking her while he yells that her source of Immortality is still further inside, then she takes a moment to lay a beautiful if ineffective beatdown on some Zombies before catching oh shit I was joking about Envy getting eaten nobody deserves- Uh oh. [Envy]: “I’m baaaack!” Soooo, Envy’s kind of… melded with the Zombie, who ate another Zombie and then melded with all of the other Zombies to make Titan!Envy, who shrunk down into standard Envy. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a Goth back in play. Crap. In the village near the Dome, Yoki’s panicking at the Military presence, trying to persuade Marcoh to stay quiet and not draw attention to themselves. But Marcoh’s upset at not doing anything. Also, what’s that smoke coming from the Dome? Pride’s sauntering out, Kimblee actually sounds a bit unnerved at the news that Pride ate another Goth. Pride’s justifying it as them coming from the same father, they’re just in a combined form again. Oh hey, Lion’s still alive! Kinda. Not looking or sounding too good, though. Al rushes forward damnit he just got grabbed by Pride’s shadows, he’s gonna get possessed again and Ed’ll have to fight him damnit. But Al transmutes the ground for a Big Boom, ok so dust to block out the shadows? Or not, Pride still has Al’s feet… aha! He only has Al’s feet! Al pulled a Lan Fan! Back to Battle Drum music as Armstrong the Great’s fighting Sloth, who’s smashing up the room with his chains. Armstrong the Great, honey, don’t waste your bullets on Sloth, it’s doing nothing. Maybe your sword? Damnit Military grunts, stop bothering Armstrong the Great by threatening to shoot her for treason. See, that’s what you get for threatening Armstrong the Great, she just dodges so you take the hit from Sloth. Thanks for the grenade, btw! So that’s not going to do much to Sloth (besides be funny as he “Huh?”s at the grenade right in his face, but maybe Armstrong the Great can use the smoke to- [Sloth]: “Hey, look! I caught you! And this time, I won’t mess up.” Well that aint good. Sloth’s got her trapped against a pillar and is squeezing her to death, Armstrong the Great’s actually in pain and-

YES [The Mighty Armstrong]: “HEELLLOOO, SISTER! AAAARRREE YOOOOOU ALLLRIGHT?! HAH HAH!” *sparkles and explosion because AWESOME* He’s back! The Mighty Armstrong is back, and after sending Sloth flying with a single punch is ready to fight alongside his snarky sibling! Armstrong the Great updates The Mighty Armstrong on the plot (that’s a Goth, bullets are useless, I want my tanks back). [The Mighty Armstrong]: “You don’t say? *sparkle* Fortunately dear sister, that is my specialty! Why don’t you let your brother have a crack at it! I’ll take this atrocity down! Come on, you monster!” [Sloth]: “Ugh. What a pain.” Hey! Hey hey hey don’t you skip away from the Armstrong Fight! Go back to Best Characters! Ugh, ok fine Al’s current situation of trying to drag a grievously wounded Lion away from the dome while his own legs are stumps is sufficiently dramatic enough I’ll accept the scene switch. This time. But yeah, Al and Lion are in a tough spot. Lion’s even telling Al to leave him behind, which Al is having none of. But really now, Al’s down a few limbs, when the dust clears they’ll be facing Kimblee and Pride together, and Lion’s coughing up blood. Now Al’s knee has blown out and he’s resorting to beating the crap out of it in frustration. [Lion]: “You brothers… are really something else… You’re still determined to help another person, even when you’re falling to pieces yourself.” Now Al’s talking about his promise, to never let anyone else die. So now the show’s going to either force Al to break his promise abandon Lion at the Chimera’s insistence, or he’ll keep trying until the dust fades and Pride walks up and kills Lion before repossessing Al’s armor anyway. This sucks- wait, what’s Lion have in his pocket?

HOLY LETO IT’S THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE! I completely forgot that Lion pocketed it ages ago after Ed’s injury. Has the dude been carrying around one of the setting’s most prized MacGuffin’s in his pocket this whole time? Dude. Also, is this going where I think it’s going?

So they’re discussing the dilemma: with their own Stone they might be able to fight against the other guy armed with one and the ‘kid’ powered by two, but if they use the Stone they’ll be using the souls used in making it. And if I remember, this was Kimblee’s first stone, the one made with Ishvalan Sacrifices. Lion talks about Ed’s conviction to not use Stones on their bodies. Instead, he says to “use it to save the entire world instead”. [Lion]: “You deserve it. Because even if they’ve been put into that Stone, you still recognize them as people. I know… those people… even though they’re trapped in Stone, they still want to fight to protect what matters to them. Let them fight. They deserve the chance!” I’m picturing the Ishvalans in the stone cheering. “Heck yeah let’s kick some ass! That jerk in the tacky suit used us to murder our own people, we want to tear him apart!” Al agrees. They’ll fight together. Thank you. For all my ranting at not using the Stone to heal Ed back then, I can appreciate this take. Using a Stone is Wrong, and it cannot be something that our Protagonists ever truly accept. But when faced with no other options, and using it specifically to help others, not themselves, it is acceptable that Al uses the Stone to fight back. Outside the cloud Kimblee asks if he should blow it away, but Pride’s overconfident and says they’re trapped without Al’s legs- BOOM! Flash of red, Kimblee loses his hat in the windblast, and Al strides out on newly-Transmuted legs. Kimblee smiles. New Outro! We’ve got… I can’t tell if it’s Beardless or Al, going by the stonework I’m going to assume Beardless. Still Beardless, hair blowing in the wind...still Beardless...still Beardless...what is the whole Outro just Beardless never mind it just switched to Mama Elric’s grave, then a crowd of Xerxes folk hey it’s that picture Keaton used to show Xerxians have no black outline to their hair. Then either Beard or Uncle walking through the desert in a white cloak, and the Elric Household complete with the swing that Beard nearly broke his back setting up. Whoop speaking of we have a grumpy Beard surrounded by white light and shattering stone, then Homunculus sulking in his flask. Also, A+ on putting the only credit this screen (Mixing Engineer Adrian Cook) right in front of the one-eyed circle monster.

Ooh, but now we’ve got an orbital view of the planet, with a giant circular shock wave coming off of it. Implying the Nationwide TC is activated? Now Ed looking serious in his red coat, and poor skinny Al’s soul smiling in front of the Gate. Now it’s his armor form standing in front of a sunset (Ending Theme “Ray of Light”), and a final shot of the road leading to the Rockbell home.

[shieldsurf]

nobody asked but i feel annoying when i infodump on my irl friends so heres my expert opinion on every single main series pokemon professor :)

professor oak: i dont like him sorry. its the blue stan in me. it also annoys me that pokemon is trying to make him a new mascot or whatever so they keep rolling out generic ass clones of him. i miss when spinoffs/supporting applications would get their own new professors

professor elm: i think hes sweet :) he seems like the nicest of all the professors but in a very subdued way. he's just kinda quiet and nervous but if you're having a rough day he'll invite you to his personal office for tea. he's like your gay english teacher that you stay to talk to after class every day. but i do think it's funny as fuck that he got robbed by a 12-13 year old and his immediate response was to call ANOTHER 12-13 year old

professor birch: big. dad. energy. the khakis the short sleeved t shirt the stubble. it's all there. he's probably the really goofy but surprisingly emotionally aware & insightful type. its also very funny how he got attacked by a wild dog and just ran around screaming for god knows how long until a random preteen showed up. in short i like him and i think he and brendan are sweet :) they probably go fishing together and birch helps him w his math homework at night

professor rowan: underrated!!!! has a very good theme!!!! i like him a lot he gives makes me think of like, a really stern and strict college professor who's actually really nice in his own grouchy, professional way. and like always has your back & goes and gets you fantastic internship opportunities without even telling you. but on the flipside his email responses are probably monosyllabic and he just does whatever the fuck he wants because he's tenured so his university can't do shit about it. like he just fucking gives u & barry rare starter pokemon in platinum because he feels like it! he doesnt even know you??? king

professor juniper: i loooove her 🥺 she also has a good theme song. she just seems like a really chill person. super go with the flow and fun, always trying to be positive and confident. probably listens to classic rock. but she also has big soccer mom energy, but like, a cool soccer mom, the one that brings the BEST team snacks to her 8 year old's saturday games and takes her out every friday like clockwork to get ice cream. and is like the neatest science teacher who schedules cool field trips for her rowdy class of 6th graders. i don't know why her dad is there but he's cool too i guess. he has a good theme song too and Cedric is a cool name. pretty fly for an old guy

professor sycamore: probably my favourite professor LMFAO has one of the best character themes of any pokemon character period. very few fans of him have Taste however. he's not some suave sexey smart guy get real he's like, a huge fucking mess, very book smart but otherwise an idiot, can't dress himself, gay as hell, pays his scientists well but he cant manage finances for shit so he ends up eating ramen every night. a literal trainwreck but every few years he'll publish some crazy research that blows everybodys tits into next tuesday so everyone respects him. chronic child adopter (first dexio and sina, then serena, calem, shauna, tierno, trevor.... jeez dude)

professor kukui: YEAH. YEAH!! he's just good!!!! i like him. outgoing eccentric dudebro who's actually really smart. he's funny, the whole masked royal thing is dumb as hell but i like it, also he and burnet are so CUTE as a gen 5 nut who bought all the weird spinoffs and minigames on my 3ds, it was AWESOME to see burnet back and with a man that treats her like a QUEEN. back to kukui he's the fun uncle type who takes you and your cousins out to do shit that your parents would kill him over but you love him so they can't do anything about it. he's actually crazy responsible though despite the fact that he lets his pets beat him up for funsies he would NEVER do anything that would put someone else in danger. also hes the only professor that's also a unbelievably talented trainer imo

professor magnolia: i thought a cool chill old lady professor would be cool but unfortunately with magnolia there's not a lot there :( she does seem like a cool grandma though. but i still would've liked an unassuming but secretly badass and no-nonsense old lady prof. as for the other magnolia, sonia, i think she's neat also but her arc could've been written better. instead it felt kinda forced :( she has a cute design tho its Unfortunate that a large portion of pokemon fans are weird nerd men in their mid to late 20s. i don't have a lot to say about these two they just got done really dirty compared to how cool and interesting a lot of the other swsh characters are