#baroness of suburbia

[matarifes]

Best of the 2010s

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/00I0wjqs9mIOBp9npilhwt?si=iKEGj6i0SFKmdJR8lwjoWQ

Noi!se - The scars we hide, 2014 (Oi!, Street Punk)

Vektor - Terminal Redux, 2016 (Technical Thrash Metal)

Yob - Clearing the Path to Ascend, 2014 (Doom Metal, Sludge Metal)

Converge -  All We Love We Leave Behind, 2012 (Metalcore, Post-Hardcore)

Voïvod - The Wake, 2018 (Technical Thrash Metal, Progressive Metal)

Battle Ruins -  Glorious Dead, 2018 (Oi!, Heavy Metal, Hardcore Punk)

Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats - Blood Lust, 2011 (Heavy Psych,Traditional Doom Metal)

Wormrot - Voices, 2016 (Grindcore)

Sólstafir - Svartir Sandar, 2011 (Atmospheric Sludge Metal, Post-Metal)

Martyrdöd - List, 2016 (Crust Punk, D-Beat)

Pallbearer - Foundations of Burden, 2014 (Doom Metal)

Cloud Nothings - Here and Nowhere Else, 2014 (Indie Rock, Post-Hardcore)

High on Fire - De vermis mysteriis, 2012 (Stoner Metal, Sludge Metal)

Perturbator - Dangerous Days, 2014 (Synthwave, Horror Synth, Darksynth)

Rolo Tomassi - Time Will Die and Love Will Bury It, 2018 (Post-Hardcore, Mathcore)

Thou - Heathen, 2014 (Sludge Metal, Doom Metal)

Power Trip - Nightmare Logic, 2017 (Thrash Metal, Crossover Thrash)

Gillian Welch - The Harrow & the Harvest, 2011 (Contemporary Folk, Americana)

Nails - Unsilent Death, 2010 (Grindcore, Powerviolence)

Amenra - Mass VI, 2017 (Atmospheric Sludge Metal)

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Skeleton Tree, 2016 (Singer/Songwriter, Art Rock)

Conan - Existential Void Guardian, 2018 (Sludge Metal, Doom Metal) The Good The Bad and the Zugly - Misanthropical House, 2018 (Hardcore Punk) Lord Vicar - The Black Powder, 2019 (Doom Metal) Sturgill Simpson - Metamodern Sounds in Country Music, 2014 (Outlaw Country) Inquisition - Ominous Doctrines of the Perpetual Mystical Macrocosm, 2010 (Black Metal) Bongripper - Terminal, 2018 (Sludge Metal, Doom Metal) Dinosaur Jr. - I Bet On Sky, 2012 (Indie Rock, Alternative Rock) Integrity - Howling, for the Nightmare Shall Consume, 2017 (Metalcore, Crossover Thrash) Looking for an Answer - Dios carne, 2017 (Grindcore, Deathgrind) Monarch! - Never Forever, 2017 (Drone Metal, Sludge Metal, Doom Metal) Deströyer 666 - Wildfire, 2016 (Thrash Metal, Black Metal) OM - Advaitic Songs, 2012 (Psychedelic Rock, Drone, Doom) Dance with the Dead - Out of Body, 2013 (Synthwave, Darksynth) The War on Drugs - Lost in the Dream, 2014 (Heartland Rock, Indie Rock) SLEEP - The Sciencies, 2018 (Doom Metal, Stoner Metal) Midnight - Satanic Royalty, 2011 (Speed Metal, Black Metal) Wolfbrigade - Run with the Hunted, 2017 (Crust Punk, D-Beat) Absu - Abzu, 2011 (Black Metal, Thrash Metal) Baroness - Purple, 2015 (Stoner Metal, Psychedelic Rock) Subrosa - More Constant Than the Gods, 2013 (Doom Metal) Full of Hell - Weeping Choir, 2019 (Grindcore, Deathgrind) Satan - Cruel Magic, 2018 (Heavy Metal, Speed Metal) Black Breath - Sentenced to Life, 2012  (Death 'n' Roll, Crust Punk) King Woman - Created in the Image of Suffering, 2017  (Doom Metal, Atmospheric Sludge Metal, Post-Metal) Plebeian Grandstand - False Highs, True Lows, 2016 (Black Metal, Mathcore) Cosmic Psychos - Glorius Barsteds, 2011 (Garage Punk, Noise Rock) Dying Fetus - Reign Supreme, 2012 (Brutal Death Metal) Elder - Lore, 2015 (Stoner Rock) Misery Index - Heirs to Thievery, 2010 (Deathgrind) Spectral Voice - Eroded Corridors of Unbeing, 2017 (Death Doom Metal) Blood Ceremony - The Eldritch Dark, 2013 (Heavy Psych) Cobalt - Slow Forever, 2016 (Black Metal, Atmospheric Sludge Metal) The Hookers -  It's Midnight... The Witching Hour, 2014 (Heavy Metal, Horror Punk) Napalm Death - Utilitarian, 2012 (Grindcore, Deathgrind) KEN Mode - Loved, 2018  (Post-Hardcore, Noise Rock, Sludge Metal) Mammoth Grinder - Cosmic Crypt, 2018 (Death Metal, D-Beat, Crust Punk) Trap Them - Darker Handcraft , 2011 (Crust Punk, Hardcore Punk) Krallice - Years Past Matter, 2012 (Black Metal) Incendiary - Thousand Mile Stare, 2017 (Metalcore, New York Hardcore) Neurosis - Fires within Fires, 2016 (Atmospheric Sludge Metal, Post-Metal) Electric Wizard - Black Masses, 2010 (Doom Metal, Stoner Metal) Infernal Coil - Within a World Forgotten, 2018 (Deathgrind, War Metal, Death Metal) Blut Aus Nord - 777 - Cosmosophy, 2012  (Atmospheric Black Metal, Avant-Garde Metal, Post-Metal) Eagle Twin - The Thundering Heard (Songs of Hoof and Horn), 2018 (Doom Metal, Stoner Metal) The Dillinger Escape Plan - One of Us Is the Killer, 2013 (Mathcore) Slowdive - Slowdive, 2017 (Dream Pop, Shoegaze) Cattle Decapitation - Monolith of Inhumanity, 2012 (Deathgrind) The Last - Danger, 2013 (Power Pop, Punk) Kendrick Lamar - good kid, m.A.A.d city, 2012 (Hip Hop) Inter Arma - Sulphur English, 2019 (Sludge Metal) Oneohtrix Point Never - Replica, 2011 (Plunderphonics, Ambient) Kvelertak - Kvelertak, 2010 (Hardcore Punk, Black 'n' Roll) Windhand - Soma, 2013 (Doom Metal) Unsane - Wreck, 2012 (Noise Rock, Post-Hardcore) Godflesh - Post Self, 2017 (Industrial Metal, Post-Metal) Kadavar - Kadavar, 2012 (Stoner Rock, Heavy Psych) Oranssi Pazuzu - Värähtelijä, 2016 (Psychedelic Rock, Black Metal) Kurt Vile - Wakin on a Pretty Daze, 2013 (Folk Rock, Singer/Songwriter) Ulcerate - Shrines of Paralysis, 2016 (Technical Death Metal) The Drones - I See Seaweed, 2013 (Punk Blues, Art Rock, Noise Rock, Garage Rock) Tomb Mold - Planetary Clairvoyance, 2019 (Death Metal) The Ruins of Beverast - Exuvia, 2017 (Death Doom Metal) Street Dogs - Street Dogs, 2010 (Punk Rock) Hell - Hell III, 2012 (Sludge Metal, Doom Metal, Drone Metal) Fucked Up - David Comes to Life, 2011 (Hardcore Punk, Indie Rock) Primitive Man - Caustic, 2017 (Sludge Metal, Doom Metal) Sick of it All - Based on a True Story, 2010 (New York Hardcore, Hardcore Punk) Triptykon - Melana Chasmata, 2014 (Doom Metal) Night Birds - Born to Die in Suburbia, 2013 (Punk Rock, Hardcore Punk) Deathspell Omega - Paracletus, 2010 (Black Metal) Tombs - Path of Totality, 2011 (Sludge Metal, Black Metal) King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard - Nonagon Infinity, 2016 (Psychedelic Rock, Garage Rock) Wormed - Exodromos, 2013 (Brutal Death Metal, Technical Death Metal) Terror - Keepers of the Faith, 2010 (Hardcore Punk) MGLA - Exercises in Futility, 2015 (Black Metal) Horn of the Rhino - Weight of Coronation, 2010 (Sludge Metal, Doom Metal)  The Men - Open Your Heart, 2012 (Indie Rock, Noise Rock) Bölzer - Hero, 2016 (Black Metal, Death Metal) OFF! - First Four EPs, 2010 (Hardcore Punk) Gorguts - Colored Sands, 2013 (Technical Death Metal) Chelsea Wolfe - Abyss, 2015 (Darkwave, Gothic Rock) Jason Isbell - Southeastern,  2013 (Americana) Gaza - No Absolutes in Human Suffering, 2012 (Mathcore, Sludge Metal Grindcore) Cult Leader - A Patient Man, 2018 (Sludge Metal, Mathcore, Slowcore) Royal Thunder - CVI, 2012 (Hard Rock, Stoner Rock, Blues Rock, Psychedelic Rock) Baptists - Bushcraft, 2013 (Crust Punk, Hardcore Punk) Witchcraft - Legend, 2012 (Hard Rock, Heavy Metal) Eyehategod - Eyehategod, 2014 (Sludge Metal, Doom Metal) Yellow Eyes - Rare Field Ceiling, 2019 (Black Metal) Shellac - Dude Incredible, 2014 (Math Rock, Noise Rock, Post-Hardcore) Agalloch - Marrow of the Spirit, 2010 (Atmospheric Black Metal, Post-Rock, Dark Folk, Folk Metal, Post-Metal) Fuzz - Fuzz, 2013 (Heavy Psych, Garage Rock) Gojira - L'enfant sauvage, 2012 (Progressive Metal, Death Metal) Deafheaven - Sunbather, 2013 (Blackgaze, Post-Metal) Earth - Primitive and Deadly, 2014 (Psychedelic Rock, Stoner Rock, Heavy Psych, Drone, Post-Rock) Enslaved - Axioma Ethica Odini, 2010 (Progressive Metal, Black Metal) Blood Incantation - Starspawn, 2016 (Death Metal) Cloud Rat - Pollinator, 2019 (Grindcore) Esoteric - A Pyrrhic Existence, 2019 (Funeral Doom Metal) Ufomammut - Eve, 2010 (Doom Metal, Sludge Metal, Heavy Psych) Boris - Dear, 2017 (Sludge Metal, Drone Metal, Post Metal) Between the Buried and Me - Automata I, 2018 (Progressive Metal) Usnea - Portals into Futility, 2017 (Sludge Metal, Death Doom Metal) Altarage - The Approaching Roar, 2019 (Death Metal, Black Metal) Pinkish Black - Concept Unification, 2019 (Psychedelic Rock Gothic Rock, Darkwave) Adrift - Black Heart Bleeds Black, 2012 (Sludge Metal, Atmospheric Sludge Metal) Hot Snakes - Jericho Sirens, 2018 (Garage Punk, Post-Hardcore) Portal - Vexovoid, 2013 (Death Metal) Iron Reagan - Worse Than Dead. 2013 (Crossover Thrash, Hardcore Punk) Sumac - What One Becomes. 2015 (Sludge Metal) Mylingar - Döda Själar, 2019 (Black Metal, Death Metal) Descendents - Hypercaffium Spazzinate, 2016 (Punk, Hardcore Punk) Evoken - Atra Mors, 2012 (Funeral Doom Metal) Weyes Blood - TItanic Rising , 2019 (Baroque Pop, Art Pop) Behemoth - The Satanist, 2014 (Death Metal, Black Metal) Spirit Adrift - Divided by Darkness, 2019 (Doom Metal, Heavy Metal) Expulsion - Nightmare Future, 2017 (Deathgrind, Crust Punk) Funeral Mist - Hekatomb, 2018 (Black Metal) Bob Wayne - Outlaw Carnie, 2011 (Alt-Country) Overkill - Ironbound, 2010 (Thrash Metal) Mizmor - Yodh, 2016 (Doom Metal, Sludge Metal, Black Metal) Chris Stapleton - Traveller, 2015 (Americana, Country) Indian - From All Purity, 2014 (Sludge Metal, Drone Metal, Doom Metal) In Solitude - Sister, 2013 (Heavy Metal, Gothic Rock, Post-Punk) Leviathan - Scar Sighted, 2015 (Black Metal) Graveyard - Hisingen Blues, 2011 (Hard Rock, Blues Rock, Heavy Psych) The Body - I Shall Die Here, 2014 (Drone Metal) Cought - Still the Pray, 2016 (Doom Metal, Sludge Metal) Cock Sparrer - Forever, 2017 (Oi!) Cult of Luna - A Dawn to Fear, 2019 (Atmospheric Sludge Metal, Post-Metal) Black Tusk - Pillars of Ash, 2014 (Sludge Metal, Stoner Metal, Hardcore Punk) Abstracter - Cinereous Incarnate, 2018 (Black Metal, Sludge Metal, Death Doom Metal) Th' Legendary Shack Shakers - The Southern Surreal, 2015 (Cowpunk, Psychobilly) Alcest - Écailles de lune, 2010 (Blackgaze, Post-Metal, Shoegaze) Runt - Positions of Power, 2017 (Hardcore Punk, No Wave, Noise Rock) Panopticon - Autumn Eternal, 2015 (Atmospheric Black Metal) The Goddamn Gallows - Seven Devils, 2011 (Psychobilly, Gothic Country) Altar of Plagues - Teethed Glory and Injury, 2013 (Atmospheric Black Metal, Post-Metal) Peter Pan Speedrock - We Want Blood, 2010 (Punk Rock, Hard Rock) Lord Mantis - Death Mask, 2014 (Sludge Metal, Doom Metal) Scott H. Biram - Bad Ingredients, 2011 (Alt-Country, Cowpunk, Electric Blues) Deceased... - Ghostly White, 2018 (Thrash Metal, Death Metal) Impalers - Cellar Dweller, 2017 (Hardcore Punk, D-Beat) Noisem - Blossoming Decay, 2015 (Thrash Metal, Death Metal, Deathgrind) Horrendous - Anareta, 2015 (Death Metal, Progressive Metal) Amebix - Sonic Mass, 2011 (Post-Punk, Crust Punk) Killing Joke - Pylon, 2015 (Post-Punk, Industrial Rock/Metal) Carpenter Brut - Trilogy, 2015 (Synthwave, Darksynth, Electro House) The Templars - Deus Vult, 2017 (Oi!, Punk Rock) Big Business - Battlefields Forever, 2013 (Stoner Metal, Sludge Metal) Waste Management - Tried and True, 2018 (Hardcore Punk) The Last Crusade - S/T, 2018 (Oi!) Ausmuteants - Band of the Future, 2016 (Synth Punk, Garage Punk) Niechęć - Niechęć, 2016 (Jazz Fusion/Rock, Avant-Garde Jazz) Carcass - Surgical Steel, 2013 (Melodic Death Metal) Helms Alee - Sleepwalking Sailors, 2014 (Atmospheric Sludge Metal, Post-Rock, Stoner Rock) Bell Witch - Four Phantoms, 2015 (Funeral Doom Metal) Teitanblood - Death, 2014 (Death Metal, War Metal) Hank Williams III - Rebel Within, 2010 (Cowpunk, Alt-Country, Country) Monster Magnet - Last Patrol, 2013 (Stoner Rock, Hard Rock, Heavy Psych)

[baroness-of-suburbia]

Tomorrow I may work as a copywriter on an advertising brand. I am nervous. I’m also feeling hopeless. My hope to become a mom the second time around is elusive. I understand; it’s OK. I just knew how much it would hurt if that dream never came to fruition. I’m happy to have my son. Better one than none. And maybe he needs special attention. But I do wish I could give him a sibling.

Not my will but God’s.

[laresearchette]

Wednesday, February 03, 2021 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: SUPER BOWL GREATEST COMMERCIALS 2021 (Global) 8:00pm MY FEET ARE KILLING ME (TLC Canada) 10:00pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT EUROPE’S NEW WILD (PBS Feed)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME/CRAVE/NETFLIX CANADA/CBC GEM:

CRAVE TV GREAT GREAT GREAT GREENER GRASS

NETFLIX CANADA ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD BABE BLACK BEACH THE BOY NEXT DOOR FIREFLY LANE NANNY MCPHEE NANNY MCPHEE AND THE BIG BANG THE NUTTY PROFESSOR PITCH BLACK RED DRAGON ROLE MODELS

NHL HOCKEY (SN1) 5:30pm: Red Wings vs. Lightning (SN) 8:00pm: Bruins vs. Flyers

NBA BASKETBALL (SN360) 7:00pm: Pacers vs. Bucks (SNNOW +) 8:00pm: Knicks vs. Bulls (TSN3/TSN4/TSN5) 7:30pm: Mavericks vs. Hawks (SN360) 9:30pm: Suns vs. Pelicans (TSN5) 10:00pm: Celtics vs. Kings

CORONER (CBC) 8:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): In the wake of COVID-19, Jenny investigates the mysterious death of a care worker.

MADE IN A DAY (Nat Geo Canada) 8:00pm/8:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE):  Tractor giant John Deere lifts the lid on how they combine heavy industry with cutting-edge tech to build huge tractors designed to feed the world.  In Episode Two, Jeep reveal how they harness manpower and tech to build and ship thousands of their best-selling Wrangler every single day.

PRETTY HARD CASES (CBC) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Starring Baroness Von Sketch’s Meredith MacNeill and Orange is the New Black’s Adrienne C. Moore (after changing it’s previous less-inclusive title) as guns and gangs Detective Samantha Wazowski and narcotics Detective Kelly Duff. After a failed drug bust, Sam and Kelly discover they're after the same dealer, forcing them to team up to take down a major Stockwood player. Starring

BULLETPROOF (Showcase) 9:00pm: Eleanor investigates Bishop's identity; the boys search for a lead in Cyprus, but must work to keep their cover.

GREENER GRASS (Crave) 9:00pm:  Soccer moms Jill and Lisa compete for approval and acceptance in a bizarre suburbia while their kids battle it out on the playing field.

TELL ME A STORY (Showcase) 10:00pm: Ashley's instincts tell her she's not out of danger yet and Beau takes action to make her feel safe; Simone and Jackson attend an elegant ball to confront Veronica; Tucker feels his relationship with Maddie is back on track, but she has her doubts.

[baroness-of-suburbia]

I am so focused on wanting another kid that I’m neglecting the one I already have. I should just stop trying. It all hurts too much. He has behavioral issues now and it just saddens and depresses me. He can make me laugh and brighten my day. How can I work with him so that he moves toward a good path again?

Quite frankly, I’m scared that he’ll do drugs and alcohol because being “bad feels good.” Now I’m paranoid. Scared. Anxious.

I feel lonely and alone. No second kid. An empty womb. Poor behavior from my first and only.

I know I’m not supposed to throw myself pity parties oh woe is me but I’m really feeling hurt something fierce right now.

GOD, I’M FEELING HURT SOMETHING FIERCE RIGHT NOW.

The bleeding ends eventually. Just don’t know when the pain will.

[baroness-of-suburbia]

Agreed. Why the need to be so rude when it comes to race-related topics? And I've found that white people are the rudest to their own.

[baroness-of-suburbia]

Black & Ignorant About Race Issues

Mircroaggressions. Systemic racism. White supremacy. White privilege. Intersectionality. Dude, I'm black, and this is still stuff I'm learning about.

There's nothing about me that makes me fit in with black people except the color of my skin. I'm really a white person with a dark skin color. I don't understand the "struggle." I'd need someone to explain it to me. Sometimes I feel like Rachel Dolezal. For serious! I think she's got some mental health issues but the difference between her and me is that I will NEVER be able to fool anybody into thinking that I have ever been white. She can tan herself as much as she wants, call herself Nkechi, get braid extensions, and "pass" herself off as black. Let's be quite frank here: Rachel Dolezal has done more for the black community through the NAACP and teaching African studies than I have or ever will. She went to Howard. The lady has more understanding of "the struggle" than I ever will. Even if she thinks herself to be part of a community that has rejected her. 

As I Google and seek to educate myself about all these racial issues and why this country is so sensitive about these issues and so fractured, I still wonder what "the struggle" is and why I feel as though someone forgot to hand me this internal memo passed around within the black community. 

Why are white people suddenly saying they're racist? If they're racist, why do I want to be friends with them? I don't want to be friends with people who are openly racist. 

Why are white people getting shut down for asking questions about racism? What specifically should they Google? What is it that they are trying to deflect in the conversation? When they say they want to learn, how is it that they're really saying they DON'T want to learn? (How are we able to know people's true intentions?) Is it true that EVERY curious white person is just an ignorant fool who doesn't want to be taught? And if we took the time to teach them, what would we teach them? What should they know? What should ***I*** know? 

Perhaps I'm super naive but I don't understand why everything has to be all about race. I'm not so naive that I don't think racism doesn't exist anymore. Or that racism needs to be overt for it to take place. 

But when I think of white supremacists, I think of Nazis and the Ku Klux Klan. And I'm happy to leave it at that. When I think of systemic racism, I think of the inner city education system that has always made it difficult for kids of color to get the quality education they deserve. I have no opinion on microaggressions because this was a word I learned 2 weeks ago. (On the other hand, I wonder how bad a macroaggression is?!) 

I'm married to a white man who doesn't feel bad for his whiteness. And that is fine by me. God made him who he is. Why should he feel bad for the skin color he was given? His ancestry is slave free. And together, we've made this beautiful child—is it offensive to call him an Oreo? Probably. Black on the outside and white on the inside :)—with a similar heritage as the 44th president of the United States, a man who could truly call himself African-American. (His father was straight up from Kenya!) 

And so I straddle this fence of being white in mind and spirit and being a person of color in body and spirit. Totally divided. Drawn to people no matter their race but will stand in solidarity with people of color who are harmed unnecessarily. It's sort of like an instinctive reaction. Not sure how to describe it other than that. But this intersectionality, feminism, white supremacy, white privilege, systemic racism, microaggression, inherent racism shit is going to drive me nuts.

[baroness-of-suburbia]

Although the contents of my blog will have nothing to do with what is sung in this song, this is the song that inspired the name of my blog.

[baroness-of-suburbia]

Blessed and stressed

Two friends at work took me out to lunch and treated me for passing my editing certification test. I feel very blessed. Today was a crap day but I'm trying to hold on to the highlight of my Thursday.