#barf asks

[sleezeboss]

Here as a pallet cleanser: can you tell us about rex and bub's first relationships (either first hookup or first long term relationship)? What were they like, how old were each of them?

oh my god a genuine question... it's been 84 years (thank you)

Let's do Bub first: so Bub's age is kind of nebulous to me, so i can't give you a deifned number, but one of his first serious relationships was with Belphi, my blue Sloth devil.

Bub and Belphi are around the same age and were fledgling devils together back in Hell. In a lot of ways, they were together out of complacency. They found each other easy to be around, and their sins, Sloth and Gluttony, complimented each other in a way that made it easy to just chase oblivion together.

Bub saw their arrangement as a "friends with benefits" situation, someone to jack off with, a hole to fuck, a someone to get high with, a friend to lounge around and forget his responsibilities with.

But he also used Belphi as a shoulder to cry on. A source of comfort when he was feeling sorry for himself. Someone to make him feel strong when he felt weak.

Suffice it to say, Belphi saw more in their relationship.

Belphi saw Bub as his whole world.

In the current canon, Belphi is still desperately in love with Bub, but he is his embittered ex sworn on dragging him back to Hell himself. he feels betrayed that Bub left Hell and his duties to his kind for a human, let alone a famed demonslayer. It is Belphi's personal mission to kill them both.

But, being kind of devil he is...he'll get around to it. Eventually. Maybe... He's just not ready yet, you see!! (insert list of excuses here) Now, for Rex:

I haven't fully committed to this yet, but I am....really enjoying the angst potential of Rex having a wife and child. A comp-het betrothed wife he ran away from when he met Bub.

I think they were married when they were both 20. It was an arranged marriage, preordained by the Fontaine witchunters seeking to form good-will with an allied cleric clan. You see, Rex was in line to be the next leader of the Holy Fontaine Witchhunters and Slayers, and he would need to further secure his lineage with an heir, a family.

I actually tried designing his bride a while back. I took inspiration from various media-witches, but nothing really stuck for me.

anyways- his wife would've been a good Christian woman. Chaste, (ignore the titty-out sketches xjkfhgnx) dignified, gorgeous. She was funny, kind, sincere, but strong-willed and had back-bone. And she loved Rex.

And Rex really thought he loved her. Who wouldn't? She was a wonderful young woman, and he was really good at playing the part. Rex is nothing if not charming, and he had everyone convinced he was happy. Even himself. Everyone except for his wife, however.

His wife, (this poor woman who I have yet to design or name...) knew she never really had her husband's heart, and in a way, Rex knew that she knew. Without ever exchanging words, they just knew. She was supposed to be happy because she was the esteemed wife of the leader of the prestigious Fontaine Family, and he was supposed to be happy for being in such a great position of power with a beautiful wife and child.

And yet they were miserable.

It's easy to have a sexless marriage when you're in a god-fearing, sex-is-sin environment, so Rex aside from consummating his marriage, he was able to avoid the elephant in the room for as long as possible.

Until he met Bub, at least

[rocketbirdie]

shooting her shot

[teaboot]

I've been stuck in bed all day today and I'm morbidly curious

[frownyalfred]

do you think bruce has ever gotten drunk before? i don't mean brucie flirting about at the gala either i mean well and truly intoxicated lol. like the type where you wake up and have the worst headache known to man

Thank you for reminding me about one of my long lost headcanons. Which is that yes, Bruce has gotten that drunk (stealing liquor from the pantry as a child, normal stuff) but the only time he woke up and truly prayed for an end was during training with Ra’s Al Ghul when, as a reward, he and the other trainees were given a night off and a mysterious local liquor (something grain derived) spiked with something. and their “night off” became a test the next day, where they had to meditate and work through the after effects, flushing the toxins from their bodies while still completing their regular duties. it was all a lesson — learning that being poisoned can happen when you least expect it; that alcohol is a poison; and that sometimes you will have to work through it no matter how awful you feel. and so poor, pitiful hungover Bruce learned how to do what he does with ease as Brucie Wayne later — work through anything, whether it’s drugs, poison, fear toxin, alcohol, and be largely unaffected.

[spacenintendogs]

DRAGON TIME, BAYBEE!!!!

[assortedvillainvault]

Hiiii sorta new here, maybe didnt want my blog attached to this ask (nervous)

how would blitzwing handle a sick reader? personally for me showers suddenly become unbearable because i can feel every single little drop of water on my skin, textures need to be Correct™️ otherwise itll piss me off

Hi and welcome! No worries I totally understand, it’s why I keep anon asks available! Been a while since I whipped up anything for a sickfic, hope you enjoy!

Blitzwing x Sick!Reader

His fleshy is LEAKING

And wheezing, and lethargic, and can’t even walk properly!

A virus? Did you not update your firewalls?? He can hack the 5G if you need it- the frag you mean it’s not that kind of virus?

You’ve never seen a 30ft killing machine wring his hands paintless like this.

He has no fucking clue what to do – he can’t pick you up because you projectile vomit (thankfully, off the side of his servos, but still, Primus no that’s too many fluids-), he can’t shoot the things that make you sick because they’re too TINY, and punching a hole through a fleshy hospital’s roof to get you inside would just get the Autobots AND Megatron on his case-!

The con’s don’t have a medic of their own on earth, and bitterly he knows that if they did they wouldn’t care less, much less know how the frag to help.

He swore Professor Sumdac to absolute secrecy, but the little he gleaned from him didn’t much help. He’s just too big and not familiar enough with the minutia of organic life to know what could help and what could make you worse.

All he can really do is hold you, and try to stay locked on Icy because you like how cold his plating is against your overheated little body as you toss and turn.

...if you don’t get better in a few days, he’s going to kidnap the autobot medic come hell or high water. Probably tear his legs off so he can’t run, too.

[me0wnz73r]

You know, we could’ve had girldad Evan.if Habit didn’t Eat That Thang.

[elericelery]

Hi! I’m Ron!

[askthestans]

Stanford, in a previous post you said you’ve ate way worse in the portal. May I ask what things you have ate that could’ve been horrible compared to the gorgon and eel meatloaf?

Ford: Having been drinking some Mabel Juice, he spits it out and coughs. Ford wipes his mouth properly on a napkin - unlike Stan who is sitting across the table just wiping his mouth on his sleeve while eating some fried chicken - and chuckles nervously.

Ah, well... that's... a fascinating question, Anon. Let's see... the weirdest thing I've eaten...

Ford gets a thousand yard stare of what must be decades of strange experiences, his eye occasionally twitching, looking a bit nauseous at some of the memories. Whatever he's remembering, it sure isn't anything Michelin 5 star. Or 1 star. Er... or 'questionable origin gas station sushi in the most disgusting reaches of the Multiverse' level edible, for that matter.

Realizing he's taking too long to answer, he chuckles nervously again.

Apologies, it's just... there were so many culinary delights that I-

Stan: He spits out a bone from the chicken he's eating and, looking quite unimpressed, he answers for Ford. Well, there's the time he ate a literal planet. Oh, or the time he had to eat the thousands of years dead corpses of some aliens where the only thing left on 'em by that point was their, er... "bottom" ends. Somethin' about bein' made of different stuff than us that makes 'em decompose slower, he said. He shrugs. Said it tasted like roasted dust and, well... ass, go figure. But that's not even the worst thing he told me. Because one time-

Ford: Looking rather pissed and embarrassed. Stan, we probably should just leave it at that. It was pure survival, nothing more. There was nothing else in that dimension for me to eat.

Stan: With a grin. Oh, you're sayin' I shouldn't talk about the "secretions" meal you had once?

Ford: Yes! That's precisely what we shouldn't talk about!

There's a long pause, where Ford looks ready to slaughter someone, and Stan is just smirking and chewing on his chicken without a care in the world. Then he shrugs and blurts it.

Stan: Long story short, it involved Ford, some starvation, and some fresh - what he called - "secretions" from-

Ford: Getting up from the table and ready to lunge. Can it, Stan! I was desperate! I'd have starved had I not-

Stan: He interrupts. What's that? He turns the camera of the laptop towards Ford's face. Is that a shit-eating grin I see on your face, Sixer?

It is definitely not a shit-eating grin. It's an "I'm going to turn my brother into taxidermy" one. At that, Ford actually lunges, and Stan cackles as he gets up and starts running with the laptop in hand, finishing his reply over the video.

Ha! I'm gonna tell 'em all your secrets, and you can't stop me!

Ford: IT WAS EDIBLE IN THAT DIMENSION, IT WAS NOT SHIT, AND I WAS STARVING!

Stan: Oh really? It came from the ass-end of somethin' weird. Sounds like shit to me!

Ford: SECRETIONS, Stanley! Like milk from cows!

Stan: What!? How is alien ass-udder juice any better!?

The view on the laptop from here on out is a mix of Stan cackling, Ford looking about ready to kill Stan, all set in a wobble of the camera bouncing as Stan runs with Ford in close pursuit behind him.

Stan: HE SAID HE LIKED IT, TOO! Ford: Incoherent rage noises.

[tendermiasma]

Halsin getting Clover to smile for the first time since Clover was a kid????? T^T wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's so sweet aaauuughhhhhh I'm going feral for these two

He grew up clinging to a knife's edge between the fey realm and a mortal death-- he didn't understand things could be different. He didn't dream of a night where he could sleep deeply and without fear in someone's arms that would hold him until he woke or that he would have company when he went foraging in the foggy mornings. It didn't even enter his mind that he would waste a spell warming tea when it was too rainy to start a fire and it somehow felt like the most important thing he did that day when he saw those kind eyes crinkle up in surprised gratitude. He would smile again :)

[sleezeboss]

HEY i was in the shower and i remembered an old old sketch you did of Satan getting a spa day done with like an imp giving him a pedicure while he was yelling on the phone or smth. anyways- i was wondering if Satan still had a "not-so-retired" businessman vibe after Bub leaves Hell, or if he goes in a different direction instead! ❤️

OKAY I had to run and look for this image cuz I love it and I haven't seen it in a while

so I still want this to be his "final form" re: "not so retired business man." i think I really cooked with this concept and I still really like this vibe for him. a lot of the exploration I'm doing with regards to bub and rex's backstories is definitely focused on their respective pasts, and Bub's past, being a magical creature who has a long lifespan, goes back a lot farther than Rex's. Satan as a Warlord, Belphi as a Prince, Bub as a king consort- all that is from an age past.

So i guess what I'm saying is- yes this is still the vibe intended for Satan!

[chevs-and-spiders]

animation is my passion btw

[frownyalfred]

cat pictures? please? for the poor cat pictureless folks such as myself?

I close my Hinge inbox, full of horny men begging me for nudes, and open tumblr, where people want to see pictures of my cat and hear about my headcanons...juxtaposition is thrilling

[dragonnnfly]

I look forward to your memes all the time they literally give me life <3

WELL IN THAT CASE

Httyd + AO3

For you

[gin-juice-tonic]

I've been thinking about helscome my wedsite all day. Is it a reference to something or

Yeah it is the welcome message of popular web cartoon character Homestar Runner's personal website that he made. (An easter egg from one of the cartoons)

[loupy-mongoose]

Why does Tumbler like eating MOLD so much. I'm surprised it hasn't gotten sick from the adorable wyrm

Mold and worms. Tumblr's hunger is really going too far now. XD