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citadelspires · 4 years ago

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Ducktales AU Concept Because My Brain Runs On Concepts I Can’t Finish:

Dewey actually waits for the signal to start the boat and they actually leave for Cape Suzette without Donald finding out. He believes they’re ready to be left alone for small periods at a time and while he is still hired on with Glomgold the obvious complications there happen and he simply just goes back to whatever he was doing, because Scrooge wasn’t reinvigorated by the kids and never ended up going to Atlantis in the first place. Cut to the ambiguously set point of over a year later, and we get the return of Della from the moon, but to a drastically different world than the one she comes back to in the show. (For the sake of the au I’m just gonna say the moon invasion doesn’t happen cause the point of this is to focus on the characters and the imminent and impossible to stop moon threat would actually be impossible to stop in this au). I’m just gonna go through the characters and where they’d be at in this setting.

The first, and arguably one of the most affected is Scrooge: He never got back into adventuring due to the absence of the kids pushing him back into the business. He continues to be profitable and avoid Glomgold’s attempts on his life but he’s generally less cheery and interested in the world than he is in the show. He cares about money and he only cares about money. Everything and everyone else are a second thought to him. Like she does in canon Della makes for McDuck Manor immediately upon return to earth only to find that the only one waiting for her is Scrooge. He opens the door to find her and his initial reaction is joy at seeing her but a secondary reaction he feels poking at the back of his mind is one of shame that this is the state he’s in for her to return to, particularly when she asks him where her kids are and he just tells her he doesn’t know. There’s a look of betrayal in her eyes when she realizes that he just abandoned everyone and cut off every aspect of the life he used to have and she doesn’t even try to hide it. Scrooge wants to offer to come with her to find them but something holds him back and he doesn’t. She runs off to find them herself and despite everything he wants to the contrary Scrooge just goes to his office like he would any other day, knowing that the person he’s been missing for over ten years now is finally returned after he thought she was dead and here he is acting like nothing is different.

Launchpad is fun because he never has any reason for Scrooge to find out he’s a pilot. He tries to mention it to Scrooge occasionally, like we see in the first episode, but just like in that episode he’s always ignored. Not that Scrooge would have any adventures for Launchpad to take him to anyway. So Launchpad continues being nothing but Scrooge’s driver. And that’s enough for him because he’s Launchpad you know? And he still looks up to Scrooge a lot, but he’s never given the opportunity to grow close to him, or anyone really. Fittingly enough for Launchpad, he’s just been living life on autopilot for a couple years, not really expecting anything to ever change.

Webby has two distinct directions you can go and I chose to go for the sadder one. She continues to be shut in the mansion. I choose to take her speech in the first episode about how she hasn’t ever left literally and say that Beakley kept her there her entire life. The possible other direction I mentioned is one where she only grows more anxious and hopeful to see the outside world and she’s basically just even Webbier than she already is. But that’s less angsty and enjoyable for me to mess with so instead I’m gonna go with she hit this wall at some point in the year or so between when she would have met HDL and when Della comes back from the moon. The weight of being alone starts to get to her and she starts to wonder if all her optimism and hopes are just a poor defense system put up to let her pretend she’s gonna have a better future than the life she’s got. She also makes continuous attempts to interact with Scrooge but the more he lets age settle in and distance himself from adventures the less she feels engaged with his existence. He starts to feel to her not like an idol or a model to live her life by but like a living, breathing symbol of how her hopes and positivity are shallow and baseless. Cause Scrooge McDuck was the only thing that kept her going for years and this is nothing like the hero she read about. But that’s the thing. She’s only really read about him. As far as anything heroic goes. So she reaches the final breaking point of all of this and decides that Scrooge is a fake and leaves behind her signature bright, bubbly attitude on life. This is the state she’s in when the story starts, to the point where a scene happens at some point after she gets drawn into the plot where she’s been outside of the manor now and Dewey offers her a hamburger and she says it looks disgusting.

Lena never got the chance to become friends with Webby and get her route into McDuck Manor. But that also means she never got the chance to learn about being good from the literal goodest person in the universe. She isn’t interested in doing the right thing and not hurting Scrooge or anything she’s just following Magica’s orders cause that’s what she’s being forced to do. But as part of the whole thing where she hasn’t got an in route into the manor she also hasn’t gotten any means of being successful in really any capacity in this endeavor. As a result Magica has... not. been kind to her. So while she isn’t evil she’s been living as magica’s meat puppet with the witch constantly in her head tormenting her for her failures for months on end and she was already morally ambiguous to begin with. So she’d take out Magica in a heartbeat if she could but there’s nothing that says she wouldn’t just explode afterwards.

Mark Beaks never had his B.U.D.D.Y. contested because Launchpad was never told about the self driving car and even if he had been he didn’t have the standing with Scrooge to make a difference and he didn’t have Dewey to help him make the declaration. As a result the product went up without any hitches. It was a massive success until BulbTech kicked in, turned evil, and suddenly it wasn’t. Anyone who could afford a B.U.D.D.Y. was using one, and the results were catastrophic. Not even Beaks had enough good press and money to pay for all that. He narrowly avoided prison but he was never taken seriously or given any chances to build up a company again. He still lives his life stealing technology and messing with inventions as he always did but now he does it a lot more illegally, a lot more dangerously, and a lot less sanely. Most devastatingly though, he gets like, no good press. People won’t even be caught dead following his twitter. He’s living his worst nightmare and he’s going to do whatever it takes to change that.

Gyro fires Fenton for leaking BulbTech on the internet and never looks back. He continues the work that Scrooge wants him to do and Fenton never drives him to push the envelope or do anything even close to what Gizmoduck becomes. He continues with his own dangerous projects and ideas but he does play it safe for some time. He’s content to just be making stuff, and Scrooge is content to just have stuff made for him. But he also never really gets to unleash that, well, part of Gearloose where he’s got a gear loose and it seems like he might just snap and make something really wild any day now.

Fenton never had to become Gizmoduck that iconic first time, so he just. Didn’t. The armor was left in its development phase as it was, and Fenton was never even considered to be the man in the suit when it reached testing. And it was only used for the menial tasks Gyro originally designed it for, as Fenton was the only one who had come up with the idea to use it for Gizmoduck at all, and he’s not there anymore, not that Gyro would listen to him anyway. Though it wasn’t as if Scrooge was in any state of mind to be hiring any superheroes in the first place. So Fenton continues trying to find some way to make a difference in the world with his intelligence but it... never really pans out.

Drake gets the role in the Darkwing movie, as in canon, as Scrooge is still interested enough in money to listen to the proposition for the film and try it out. The visit Launchpad has with Jim goes as his visits always do, and the fact that Dewey isn’t there to assist with Launchpad and attract Jim’s attention means Jim just gives up and leaves as soon as Launchpad faints, not even listening to what Drake is trying to tell him. So Jim never finds out about the movie until it’s already released, and Drake experiences no opposition in the filming, barely even remembering his one interaction with Launchpad at all. Scrooge cuts the budget for the finale but lets the movie go through anyway, despite his better judgement, mostly because he already spent the money. It’s a commercial and critical disaster and Drake’s acting career never gets off the ground, and he never has the inspiration to become Darkwing for real.

Donald continues to live just as we see him in the first episode, doing his best to support his kids while bouncing from job to job because he just can’t hold one down for any length of time. Life is hard for him but it’s the same as he’s always known it for the past ten years so he’s used to it, and having the kids with him is always enough for him.

Huey continues to make a name for himself in the Junior Woodchucks (i.e. robotics champion four years running) but he never really gets the chance to light the fire under his curiosity and love of knowledge. He learns as much as he can but it’s only as much as he’s ever been told he can. He learns within the boundaries of school and the Junior Woodchucks and that’s kind of enough for him because he never considers how much he could learn beyond the boundaries of how things have always worked.

Dewey is as desperate to be famous and appreciated as he always is, and Dewey DewNight is most certainly still a thing, but it’s even less viewed and interesting than it is in canon. He’s not letting himself get disheartened but he looks at the way Donald lives on a boat and can’t hold a job and wonders if that’s what he’s gonna be someday. If despite all of his efforts and aspirations he’s going to end up falling at every turn and there’ll just be nothing he can dew about it. He doesn’t let it weigh him down too much but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t keep him up at night sometimes.

Louie is actually doing amazing. He’s living his best life. He’s lazy and scheme-y, still doing things like plotting that venture to Cape Suzette we see in that first episode, but he never has to wonder about his usefulness or place in the family, cause it’s just him, Dewey, and Huey, along with Donald. Donald is unemployed half the time, Huey is gonna be some big genius scientist guy sure, and maybe Dewey’s gonna get big someday but right now they’re just kids, and there’s absolutely nothing that makes Louie feel like that’s not enough. He doesn’t do as much here, there’s not any schemes that will make him rich or any Louie Inc, but the seeds of those ideas are still in his soul somewhere, he’ll find them when he needs them he’s pretty sure.

And that’s all the characters that I can think of to get into off the top of my head. I really just did this for fun so I don’t know if I’ll ever be doing anything else with it but these are all the ideas I got. Feel free to ask me about them or anything I’m just havin fun with it.

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lovelivingmydreams · 4 years ago

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A story by heroes and villains

Book 2: secrets revealed Virgil Anker: trust and caution

Masterlist book 1

It's not easy to know who to trust and who to be wary off. But Virgil better learn soon.

When Virgil got back to the new house, he took a shower and sat himself on the couch in his pj’s. He was listening to his ‘winding down’ playlist. He was grinning to himself. Someone else was wearing his design. Sure he’d made Janus a shirt way back in freshmen year, but he barely wore it outside the house. This would be seen by tons of people. And it looked so good! He couldn’t wait till Monday. He could imagine Roman’s reaction. Would there be pictures in the papers? On the news? He just might buy a paper so he could keep a clipping to look back on later. Thinking about gushing over the costume with Roman at school made him think about seeing Janus again. J had skipped school after what happened in the hallway, leading to him having detention all of last week. He hadn’t even so much as looked at Virgil since. Not in a, “I am mad and ignoring you way,”. He looked ashamed. Scared. That was what made it so hard for Virgil to stick to his plan. Janus looked so hurt and lost and ashamed. And during lunch, he was nowhere to be found. Virgil needed to talk to Picani about this tomorrow. It would be a busy session. He contemplated where things had gone wrong for the millionth time for a while until he heard the door and looked up to see his fathers enter the room. “You’re back!” he greeted as he sat up. “So I gotta know, who’s your fourth guy?” he wondered casually. His dad just looked at him confused. “What do you mean?” “For your poker nights,” he clarified with a chuckle. Imagining Patton or uncle Thomas playing poker was kind of funny. It seemed so out of character for them. Still he couldn’t imagine what else would take all three of them getting together like this. Thomas had taught musical theatre classes, back when he was still a professor, and now he was the dean. Then again, Virgil wasn’t certain his uncle was always present. Tonight might just have been one time he happened to be there. But Patton definitely had been part of this project as much as Logan was. The past six months at the very least, but most likely from the start. “No cardgames I’m afraid kiddo. We’ll tell you about the project once it’s finished. It’s all confidential for now I’m afraid,” Patton told him gently. Virgil looked long and hard at Patton. He wasn’t lying. And confidential stuff made a lot of sense. He shrugged, letting it go. Even if his first guess was right after all and his dad was doing some kind of superhero stuff as BrainStorm, if Patton was there to help him Virgil felt assured that they’d be safe. Though he wouldn’t know how Patton, or Thomas, got wrapped up with anything involving a former super villain. “Okay, keep your secrets,” he sighed as he stretched. “Night Pat, night Lo,” he bid before heading upstairs. “Goodnight Virgil, I love you.” Virgil looked back at his dad when he heard that. “Love you to dad,” he replied with a smile. “Love you three kiddo!” Patton added, making Virgil laugh. “Love ya Pat.” And with that he went upstairs to his room. His new room was bigger than the one in his old house. But he didn’t care much about that. His old room had memories. He missed it honestly. He started to worry that he’d been too quick to say that he wanted to move out. No matter how nice the new house was, and how conveniently it was positioned, it would never quite be like the one he’d known most of his life. He let himself drop on his bed. It was pointless to think about that now. At this point, another family had probably moved into their old home. They’d brought their own furniture. Probably painted over the walls. Erasing the little doodles he’d made when he was little and bored. Before his mind could go any farther down that path, he heard a buzzing. Roman sent him a text. “Greetings! I just got back. Sorry for not checking in earlier. Could not be helped. Did you get home alright?” Virgil chuckled and texted back. “LOL. You worry too much. Hope you had a fun night.” Virgil certainly did. Just thinking about it made him impatient. Oh why not? Before he could second guess himself, he pressed call. “Virgil?” Roman sounded surprised, but Virgil was already way to giddy about his news. “I had to tell you now. I saw him!” he whispered. “Who? And why are we whispering?” Roman asked, mimicking his volume. “I’m supposed to be asleep,” he admitted, earning himself a chuckle. “Ok… Who did you see?” Roman asked. “Dream Prince!” expecting the logical next question he edited his story a little. “I went for a walk and I guess he was doing patrol in my neighborhood, I caught a glimpse of him,” well, that was an understatement. But he couldn’t tell Roman everything. Not yet. He’d lectured Prince about being cautious just today. He trusted Roman. But anyone could overhear them at any time. “He was wearing my costume! You were right! I can’t wait to get a good look at it in action!” Again. “You think someone got a picture? I didn’t have a chance. God I should’ve taken a picture so I could show you!” Though he wasn’t sure if he could’ve managed to get a believable citizens picture of him. He doubted Prince could be photographed if he didn’t want to be. “I’m sure I’ll see your work plastered around the front pages Monday. Pretty sure you missed out on the Saturday edition. But the news stations might talk about it.” Virgil’s cheeks hurt from smiling. “You sure you don’t want your name attached to it?” Virgil considered that for a moment. It would be kind of cool, he supposed. But he was trying not to draw any attention to his civilian self so long as he did the vigilante gig. Asides from that, he didn’t want anyone to be able to claim any of his future successes were due to his connection to a superhero, or have expectations based on this one work. “Yeah… I just… I know I should want the credit. But, just in case he becomes like this big time hero,” which seemed very likely to Virgil. His powers were pretty amazing and he had the personality to make it big. “I don’t want my possible career to be defined before it starts, you know what I mean?” He hoped he did, because he was starting to get confused by his own phrasing. “Maybe I’ll come forth with the original sketch when I’m like, 30, to prove it was me if it still matters by then,” he concluded. “Sounds like a smart plan. I’m going to let you go. I do need my beauty sleep after all.” Oh, he made it too easy. “You said it, not me,” he chuckled. “Night Princey.” “Buenas noches. Mi querido amigo,” Roman replied dramatically. Virgil rolled his eyes. Though he smiled as he realized Roman just called him ‘dear friend’. Trying to hide the way that warmed his chest he let out a groan. “Bon nuit,” he huffed in retaliation before hanging up. Janus had taught him a bit of French over the years. And just like that his thoughts returned to his old friend. Janus had been well behaved the past week. He hadn’t gotten in a single fight. Maybe he should try and show that he noticed. Just saying ‘hi’ wouldn’t be that bad right? Show that he meant it when he said he wanted to get back to being friends, real friends, at some point. With thoughts of a happy ending for everyone, Virgil fell asleep. The next morning he woke up early. He made sure to be quiet as he got ready for the day. Once downstairs he turned on the tv. And sure enough, the local station was talking about Dream Prince. A professional picture of him leaping across the street from one rooftop to another serving as background. The anchors were talking about his heroic deeds of last night, ranging from walking a girl home to taking down those criminals ‘single handedly’. “No one can deny it. This young hero finds no feat too great or too small, and he does it with style. Looks like he’s settled on a look.” They thought his costume had style! Virgil was vibrating with excitement. He couldn’t sit still. He had to do something with all this energy. He started on breakfast. Bacon, eggs… It had been a while since he’d felt up to making a big breakfast and been the first to wake up. Patton was as much of an early riser as he and Logan. Which meant he hadn’t had Virgil’s secret omelet recipe yet. He was bouncing on his feet as the two anchors were analyzing the costume in as much detail as they could. They found the heels a bold choice and the mask an elegant way to incorporate a crown. When Virgil heard his dads move about upstairs he turned the news off and set the table. Patton really liked the eggs. That or he really wanted Virgil to think so. Three servings made him think that it wasn’t pretend though. After breakfast, uncle Thomas picked him up for their trip to the zoo. Virgil had been looking forward to it. It felt forever ago since he last spent some one on one time with his honorary uncle. “That’s a nice one. You really got the eyes down well,” he complemented as Virgil finished a sketch of a koala. “Thanks,” Virgil said, pretty happy with the result as well. “You are really talented. Guess it runs in the family. I remember your dad scribbling away in his poetry notebook all the time.” Virgil looked at his uncle with wide eyes. “You knew my father?” he asked perplexed. Thomas frowned down at him for a moment before his eyes widened in understanding. “Oh, no. I never personally met your birthfather. I meant Logan,” he clarified. Virgil was a little disappointed. For a second he’d hoped to learn a little more about his birthparents. But if Thomas had been talking about Logan… “My dad wrote poetry?” Thomas chuckled. “Yeah. He was pretty good. Though he’d disagree. He felt more comfortable using his sharp tongue on the debate team. He won us some prizes,” he recalled. Virgil took this in. He had wondered what his dad was like at his age before. Now was a good time to ask more. “So poetry and debate team… Guess that is why you two became friends, huh?” he asked. Thomas shook his head a little awkwardly. “Not exactly. With my social anxiety I probably wouldn’t have approached him if my mom hadn’t told me about his mom losing custody…” “What!?” Virgil gasped. He never knew that. Thomas cringed realizing he had maybe said to much. He looked down at Virgil. “Your grandparents weren’t parents of the year. Not abusive, but… neglectful I suppose. Logan never talked about it, so I don’t know the details. Just what little ” “He was in the system?” Virgil asked with a shiver. He’d heard about the system. He was glad he never had to experience it. “No, like for you there was someone ready to take him in right away,” Thomas told him. Virgil wanted to ask who had adopted his dad. But he had an idea… And he kind of didn’t want to hear he was wrong. He wanted it to be his parents. It would explain why Logan had such a hard time talking about them, but had so much love and respect for them when he did. “What was it like rooming with him? Was he secretly a slob in college?” he asked hopefully. Thomas relaxed and started talking about a few college stories, though he quickly veered into high school and early parenthood stories. At the end of the day Virgil had a good handful of animal sketches, an idea for his art project for the semester and Thomas dropped him off at Picani’s office. “Hello Virgil. How are you today? I heard you had a good scare earlier this week.” Virgil let out a deep sigh, sat down and started his story. Leaving Picani’s office a little bit later than planned, he felt a lot better. Or, well ‘better’ never had been the right word. He’d realized that sometime during the camp. After talking about Picani about what bothered him, he was still bothered by it. But he understood things more clearly. He felt less confused and had an idea of what to do about it. Picani never told him everything would be okay. He helped him understand what was wrong and how to either steer it in a better direction, or learn to live with it. He now felt less uncertain about wanting to give Janus a sign that there was still hope for them, even after what happened last week. He felt less guilty over indulging the people asking him out even though Roman was still very much on his mind. He even felt better about getting more information than he should’ve from uncle Thomas. It had been a relief talking about his theory that his dad had been in his parent’s custody for at least four years and that that was, maybe, the reason why he took him in when they passed. And the fact that he had at least one set of grandparents that might be still alive. He wasn’t going to ask about them though. If they held bad memories for his dad, he didn’t think he wanted to know them. It was very low on his list of priorities. The fact that his dad never mentioned them told him enough. The whole scare with the ceiling lamp was discussed and Picani left it alone when Virgil said that he didn’t want to waste too much time on it. “I’m home!” he announced as he came through the door. He heard Patton call a greeting from the kitchen and saw his dad come from the living room to meet him in the doorway. “Dad!” he called out eagerly as he gave his father a hug. “Virgil? Not that I do not appreciate you seem excited to see me. But is there a particular reason?” There were a few honestly. Knowing a bit more about how he ended up being raised by the smartest, most patient man he’d ever met had him excited. On top of that knowing what his dad was like at his age made him feel closer to him. He decided to focus on the latter. He’d turn sixteen soon. If Logan hadn’t initiated the conversation by then, he would. He could be patient for another month. “Uncle Thomas told me about your teen years. I didn’t know you were on the debate team!” he told him. He could imagine his dad thriving in that environment though. Maybe they should check out the debate team this year in between Roman’s play and Virgil’s art exhibit. Logan gave Virgil a small smile, a bit of pride in his eyes. It was rare for Virgil to see his dad proud of himself. He liked it. “Well, yes. It was a bit of a hobby of mine, as well as an attempt to get better at socializing,” Logan said modestly. Virgil picked up on the operative word in that sentence. ‘Attempt’. “You were a socially awkward nerd,” he concluded with a chuckle. He was so used to being nothing like his dad. Finding flaws and similarities to himself in the man he’d idolized as long as he could remember, it was strangely exhilarating. Logan, however seemed to misunderstand what had Virgil so thrilled. “Hey, that’s a complement! I’m a socially awkward artsy kid. Sounds like I’m your son after all!” he clarified. That reminded him though. “Speaking off. Uncle Thomas told me you wrote poetry back in the day.” “Really!?” Patton exclaimed from the kitchen. Logan was blushing. Scrambling for a way out of the conversation it seemed. “I… Experimenting with different forms of self-expression is a natural part of discovering one’s identity as a teenager. It was a phase. I would like to forget about it.” Virgil was about to argue against it, but Patton beat him to it. “Aw, but poetry is so romantic,” he pouted. And Virgil could see the way that affected his dad. Well, their date nights were about to get ten times more sappy. Hopefully going for the heart, and his ego, would work out just as well for Virgil. “That’s too bad. I thought I could make a project around your old work for art class,” he sighed disappointedly. And just like that his dad’s firm posture melted away. “I’ll see if I can find some of my old notebooks. Just ask my consent before you pick one.” Virgil couldn’t resist hugging him again. “Thanks dad. You won’t regret it. I promise.” He felt his father put his arms around him gently. A wordless “you’re welcome”. Virgil was feeling very chatty during dinner and so told his parents all about his day. They had to go to the university again tonight. Since Virgil was planning on meeting up with Prince and not sure if he’d be out all night or just long enough to talk to the guy, he bid them both a good night now. Just in case he’d be too tired to wait for them to get home once he got back. As soon as they were out the door Virgil dug in his closet for his face mask, something he wore when he was feeling sick and didn’t want to infect others. And his shades. He was going to take a chance on Prince today. He made sure he had his evidence at the ready. He’d updated it earlier that week and last night he hadn’t learned anything new. He decided to go with the same look as yesterday so Prince would recognize him more easily. He made his way to the street and vanished in the alleys. After a few minutes he found the rooftop they’d used as their rendezvous point last night. Hopefully Prince wouldn’t make him wait too long. He lowered the intensity of his cloak to be more easily spotted should someone be looking for him. Suddenly he heard a sound behind him. “Good evening my shadowy friend,” the grand voice of Dream Prince drifted through the air. Virgil turned around, his coat flaring out with the movement. “Hey there highness,” he greeted as he tossed him the evidence bag. Clear of any fingerprints or DNA as far as he could manage it, as usual. Prince studied it for a moment. “Is this…?” he sounded surprised. “A show of good will. I thought about it…” not enough. Maybe he was biased because he reminded him of Roman. Or because he’d seen him during his training wheel days. Maybe he didn’t want to be alone anymore. “You seem alright. I’ll… I’ll have your back. If you have mine.” They could help each other. Grow stronger together. Weren’t heroes always at their strongest once they learned to work together? “You do know that if I hand this in, they’ll know I made contact?” This guy. Virgil chuckled, finding this strangely endearing. “You mean you haven’t told them yet?” Prince’s posture straightened almost defiantly. “You didn’t say you were alright with that!” Was he actually insulted by the idea of reporting back to his people without Virgil’s permission? Guess he’d read him right. Good to know. “Okay. Well, consider this my permission. If I don’t want to be found, I’ll disappear Prince.” He’d find a way to avoid Prince if it was necessary. “Tell the chief all communication with me goes through you. If you don’t mind.” Because Virgil didn’t trust the chief enough to go anywhere near her. Prince nodded as he reached for his ear. “I am currently debriefing Phantom. I’ll let you know when I’m done here. Tell chief I’ll stop by with a package. Radio silence until further notice.” Virgil couldn’t stop himself from letting out a chuckle. This guy. He really needed to be more careful. “You ever thought I might be a bad guy? You shouldn’t cut off your back up like that in front of me.” Had they taught him nothing at the GTH? “You’ve had plenty chances to take me out,” Prince pointed out, much to Virgil’s surprise. “You could have let those goons get me the first time you saw me. You could have attacked me while I was busy with those guys yesterday. And who knows how many times over the summer. And on top of that. Who says my communicator is my only way of contacting back up?” Okay, so maybe Prince knew what he was doing after all. “Fair enough. So what now?” He had no idea what would come after this. He just knew that Prince reached out, and he’d accepted. The ball was back in Prince’s court. “Now… I warn you about the collector.” That sounded very serious. He almost wanted to get out before he could get involved, but a gut feeling told him that this was important. He eyed the edge of the roof. Well might as well get comfortable. “I feel like this is a sitting down kind of conversation.” Once they both sat down, Virgil put on his sunglasses and dropped his cloak completely. It was symbolic or whatever. Letting his guard down in a visible way. He turned to the prince expectantly, a little annoyed at how the dark glasses limited his vision. Prince took in a deep breath and started his story. “The collector is an old enemy of Manifestor. He recruits Gifted, and those he thinks deserve to be gifted for some kind of revolution. You and I are probably his kind of people. Young, full of potential. All that stuff creeps like that love to go on about.” Virgil’s eyes widened. That did sound bad. He was suddenly very glad he had not confided in anyone about his powers so far. Who knew if the Chief was on the Collector’s payroll? Or maybe Picani was being spied on. “So we should be careful, you and I. I want to help you out,” Prince told him as he offered him two small objects. A stone and lip balm? “These can help you hide your identity without having to use your… Do you have a name for it?” Prince wondered. Virgil wasn’t sure if he could disguise his voice. But if he did, he was not going to risk Prince being someone from school who might recognize his voice. “Cloak,” he replied before dropping his guard again. “Cloak… Cool,” Prince nodded as he showed the black stone. “So this, is a voice modulator. I adjusted it to fit your tempest voice as best as I could.” Virgil couldn’t help laughing. Tempest voice? That sounded so cool honestly. But man was it dramatic. “You clearly have not heard it,” Prince pointed out and he had a point. He sounded normal to himself. “What’s with the lipstick?” he asked. “This will paint your hair black faster than any hair dye. It’s also a very good hair gel and it washes out right away,” Virgil bit his lip as Prince offered him the items. He was not used to being helped. Not as ‘Phantom’ at least. He still struggled with it as Virgil. Letting Roman help him with his English assignment yesterday had been hard. But he had to let people help him. He had to take a leap of faith here. So he took the items and got up to try them out. “No peeking!” he warned, though he would keep his cloak up. It was more to test if Prince would be tempted to go against his wishes. He didn’t. Virgil placed the modulator on his throat where Prince had his red stone and applied the balm to his hair. He spread it out and took a moment to decide on the style he wanted to go with. He tried for windblown, though he wasn’t sure if he did it right without a mirror. “Okay, let’s try this,” he said testing out his new voice. Wow, if that was what he really sounded like then Tempest voice might just have been the most accurate description. He looked back at Prince who was getting up and waling over to him. “Okay. So… what’s the plan?” he asked, curious what Prince was expecting out of this collaboration. “Well… We could try and meet up here regularly. We might not always patrol at the same time, and you might be busy. But I could… If you are okay with it… I could help you coordinate with the cops. Like you kinda suggested earlier. Or we could like, do some patrolling together? Keep each other company…” Oh, that was cute. Prince could be insecure. Virgil was starting to think he was unshakable. “It might be nice talking someone who gets it you know? You’re my age right?” he wondered. Nice try. Very subtle. “I mean… I guess, but I’m not sure how old you are exactly,” he shrugged casually. He wasn’t going to give anything away that easily. “Fair point.” Or maybe there hadn’t been an ulterior motive. He was getting paranoid. “Anyway… What do you want?” Virgil thought about that for a moment. He hadn’t expected to be asked for his opinion. “I mean… Debriefings sound cool,” he said casually. “I’d like to patrol with you, but my parkour is no match to that walking on air trick you got…” He was kind of jealous of that one if he was honest. “I was thinking of hanging around the clubbing district at the end of the night and making sure some party goers get home safe. I’ll see you around there when you’re done?” This talk was fun and all, but Prince should probably check in with his team soon. And Virgil needed to think about things for a minute. “That sounds like a good idea,” Prince agreed as he gave him a bow. “Until then. Know that the GTA’s resources are now at your disposal through me. So if you want to get a proper suit or other fun toys, you need only ask.” And with that Virgil’s new ally sprinted of into the night. A real suit huh? Virgil shook his head. He’d have to think on that some more. For now, he had work to do.

Hero au

@cirishere @hestianerd1 @moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @frida0043 @angelic-cali @selenechris @theblackveilinreverse

#sanders sides #ts sides #hero au #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #prinxiety #logicality

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barnesandco · 5 years ago

Text

Spies and Secrets

Bucky buys a new jacket that is... uncharacteristically bright. Sam ribs him for it, and you- you don't know what to do with yourself.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Language. Heavy makeout session.

A/N: Inspired by Sebastian Stan’s 2016 photoshoot - more specifically that yellow jacket - for August Man Malaysia. Written for @redgillan . Hope you like it, Maisie! It was so much fun to write lmao.

“Hey, hey, hey! Look at you!” Sam exclaims, jumping to his feet. Steve and Bucky stand in the kitchen, arms laden down with shopping bags. The object of Sam's attention, however, is the mustard-yellow jacket Bucky is wearing. "What, were they all out of decent, normal outerwear at the mall?"

“He looks good, Sam.” Steve defends, putting his bags down by the door, and heads over to the fridge. Finding what he was after - a beer - he sits down at the kitchen table, and looks back at his teammates. Sam splutters indignantly, hands on his hips. Bucky looks like he's ready to high-tail it back to his room.

“Really? You, Mr. I-only-wear-plaid-shirts-and-vintage-jackets, are giving out fashion advice. No wonder he bought that monstrosity.” Sam gestures to Bucky, who has thus far remained silent, but is now struggling to rein it in. He was hesitant about buying it - not his usual color - but he thought he looked good in it. He knows Sam's joking - it's just banter, Nat calls them an old married couple - but he's so out of his depth when it comes to the new millennium, and everything that is associated with. Everything except making women swoon. That’s stayed the same since he fell off that train in Austria.

“Shut up, Sam.” He says gruffly, shuffling to grab his own beer and return to his spot in the doorway, ready to leave. Sam ruffles Bucky's hair, flings his arm around his shoulder, grinning madly.

“I'm only messing with you, Bumblebee. Lookin' like a real lady-killer in that thing. Bet the chicks dig it. Matches their fur and all.” He laughs.

“Ignore him, Buck. You look great, trust me.” Steve says earnestly, beer bottle resting on his thigh.

“Sure, sure, trust the centenarian when it comes to 21st century fashion.” Sam waves his hand dismissively, biting into an apple from the fruit bowl on the kitchen island. Bucky picks his bags back up, and heads for the elevator.

“Whatever, Wilson.” He throws over his shoulder.

-----

“Is Sergeant Barnes going to be here?” You ask, eyes flitting around to see if he’s here yet.

“He said he was coming. Why? You can barely speak when he's around. And now you're eager to see him?” Nat says, leaning her elbows against the standing table they're at. She looks at you intently, fiddling with the umbrella from her cocktail.

“Not eager, Nat. Just curious.” You answer, turning away from her sharp gaze to survey the room. She does the same.

“Speak of the devil.” Nat says, jerking her head towards the entrance, where Bucky has just arrived.

“Dear Lord.” You whisper under your breath, grateful for the hubbub of the crowd. It disguises the words, but not the sound and Nat turns to you.

“Did you say something?” She wonders.

“No, I- nothing, nothing.” You excuse, coughing as the man in question approaches. He looks good. So good that it takes all of your willpower not to physically drop your jaw. All black - his jeans, his t-shirt, his shoes - with the exception of a delicious mustard yellow jacket. Out of character, possibly. Hot as hell, definitely.

“Hello, Barnes. New jacket?” Nat greets cheerfully, taking a sip from her drink. Bucky swallows, Adam's apple bobbing, and puts his hands in his pockets, drawing attention to those muscular thighs that have fueled your thirstiest dreams for weeks now. He nods, and a strand of hair falls in front of his eyes. You resist the urge to tuck it behind his ear.

“Yeah. Went shopping a few days ago. How are you lovely ladies doing?” He asks, running his hands through those chestnut brown locks you want to use to tug him down till your mouths meet. You touch your lips subconsciously. Is your mouth watering?

“I'm good. I think our resident IT genius could use some help, though.” Nat says delicately, glancing at you from her peripherals. You cough again.

“No! Help with what? I'm fine. Totally fine.” You say, hands flailing. Broken-record repetition must worry them further instead of alleviate their concerns. Behind Nat’s cocktail glass, you can see a thinly veiled smile. "It's good to see you, Sergeant Barnes."

“Bucky, please, doll.” He smiles at you, and your heart skips a beat. Another one. Butterflies turn to elephants in your stomach, and you shift your weight.

“Right. Uh, you- um, you don't normally come to these things.” It’s a statement, but you trail off at the end, leaving room for a question he could answer. You rest your chin on your fist, trying desperately to look casual.

“Didn't have anything better to do tonight. Why, you wishing I stayed home?” He jokes.

“No, no! I mean yes. I mean, I'm-”

“It's okay, I get it.” Bucky reassures you. He looks around, and seems to spot somewhere else he needs to be. “It was nice talkin' to you, I'll see you 'round.” Saying this, he pecks your and Nat’s cheeks, leaving you blinking and dazed.

“Bye, Barnes.” Nat is unfazed. Your shoulders drop automatically, releasing the tension - and the breath - you weren’t aware you were carrying.

“What the hell was that?”

“What was what?” You say innocently, praying she drops the subject. You’re a terrible liar, and Nat’s an excellent spy. The two factors combine to make for the fact that it is damn near impossible to hide something from Natasha Romanoff if she doesn’t want you to. You’re proud that you’ve managed to for as long as you have.

“You, all stutter-y and flustered. Do you have a crush?” She says conspiratorially. That glint in her eye is back, and that’s bad news for any and all of your secrets regarding Bucky Barnes.

“You're crazy, Nat. Bat-shit insane.” You dismiss, finishing off your drink. She doesn’t let up.

“You have all the symptoms, you know.”

“No, I don't know. All I know is that you're crazy, and I need another drink.” You push away from the table and head for the bar, hoping you don’t run into Bucky again. Heart attack sounds preferable to dealing with him in that outfit.

Two hours later, and you’re sitting with a group of Avengers who have just started a round of poker. The company party is in full swing, S.H.I.E.L.D. employees taking full advantage of the bar, both for alcohol and karaoke. Thank goodness that the latter is in a faraway corner of the room, because while most of these people know more ways to kill a man than there are grains of sand on a beach, none of them can stay on key to save their lives.

“Where did Barnes run off to?” He asks. Maria Hill snorts.

“Why, you miss your boyfriend?”

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Sam responds mockingly. He has an excellent hand of cards, though, so the joke is on Maria really.

“Said he needed a break.” Steve pipes up, preparing to lose, good and righteous as he is. Can’t lie to save his life. Sam is gleeful, unaware that Nat has the best hand out of the lot of them. You’re not playing. S.H.I.E.L.D. pays well, even to non-superheroes, but you’ve never been much of a gambler. And it’s far more entertaining observing everyone, occasionally whispering suggestions to Nat - not that she needs them - hands on her legs draped over your lap. But your attention has been diverted to a certain ex-assassin, who plays your heartstrings like a guitar. You wait five minutes - five excruciating, torturous minutes - before yawning and pushing Nat’s legs off you.

“I- uh, I think I should head back. I'll see you guys on Monday.” You say, waving feebly to the group, and leave the room to echoes of goodnight and requests to drive safely. Little do they know you’re not leaving yet. You consider the floorplan, and try to figure out where he might be. Eventually, you recall Bucky’s preference for the stairwell designed as an exit in case of emergencies. He mentioned briefly how it was the quietest place in the Compound. Peaceful. Serene. Not to mention the open top means he can smoke.

“Hey, Sarge.” You smile shyly as you lean against the door, hands behind your back. As expected, he’s sitting on the stairs, jacket falling open to reveal a shirt stretched taut over those pectorals you long to touch. You haven’t had an opportunity to rendezvous in weeks, between his missions and your new research project. It’s not like you’ve gone all the way physically even when you do have the opportunity to see each other like this, but the way he’s looking tonight makes you want to change that.

“Was wonderin' when you'd show up.” He says around the cigarette between his lips. The serum stops it from affecting him, so he feels comfortable maintaining this particular habit. Gives him something to do with his hands. Avoids it around you, though. Tonight is no exception. Removing it from his mouth, he exhales one last time, and stomps out the half-burnt blunt under his leather boot. Passive smoking isn’t fun.

“How did you know I'd find you?” You ask, standing between his bent legs, carding your fingers through his hair. He nuzzles your stomach, nips at your dress.

“I'm magnetic, baby.” He smiles up at you, then stops when he sees your facial expression. You’re torn. “Why're you lookin' at me like that?” He asks, holding your hands, rubbing your knuckles gently with his thumb.

“Like- like what?”

“Like you don't know whether to eat me alive or run for the hills.” Bucky is apprehensive now, worried he’s done something wrong.

Your gaze moves from his concerned eyes, to that damn jacket, and back up to his lips. Something shifts inside you, and you tug him to stand upright, fists clutching the lapels of his jacket. You pull him down to meet your lips.

“Shut the fuck up, Barnes.” You murmur, mouths grazing against one another before they press together fully. He gasps at the pressure and passion behind your movement, and you take the liberty to engage his tongue in a dance with yours. His arms wrap around your waist, bending you backwards a little, but you’re too occupied by the taste of chocolate and whiskey on his breath. Too surrounded by everything Bucky. The feel of his hair between your fingers, the scent of his cologne enveloping you like his embrace. Panting, you pull away, moving to his neck.

“Hey, woah, what's gotten into you?” Bucky’s gasping for air, hands moving up and down your sides, like he doesn’t know what to do with them. He settles for resting them over your ass, and nips at your earlobe.

“You complaining?” You ask, hands on his chest. He shakes his head, and that’s all the confirmation you need as you resume your task, sucking a hickey onto his collarbone, fingers curling in the loops of his belt. He tries to continue speaking, muttering in your ear.

“Hell no. But you're always so shy, and - oh, jeez, sugar.” His sentence falls apart as you rake your nails gently down his abs. You stop at the exclamation, also intrigued by the new pet name.

“This stupid fucking jacket.” You say, pecking his lips chastely. You lean your forehead on his shoulder, unable to look him in the eyes after your outburst. Everything is hot. The air, filled with palpable electricity between your bodies. Your body itself, on fire from head to toe, concentrated on a spot between your legs. Legs that are shaking as you strive to stay upright.

“You don't like it?” He asks, holding you to him. All shyness or shame dissipates into thin air, as your head snaps up to meet his insecure expression incredulously.

“Are you shitting me? It's the hottest thing I've seen all week.” You tell him, pushing up on your toes to kiss him again. And again. And again.

“I think I can top that.” Bucky says between kisses, cradling your face in his hands, yours clutching his sides.

“I'm sure you can.” You answer, smiling wolfishly at the double entendre.

“You know what, I have a better idea.” He pauses, waiting for your signal. You give it.

“Yeah?”

“Why don't we go up to my room, and you try on my jacket. Just my jacket.”

Taglist: @buckyreaderrecs @corneliabarnes @mermaidxatxheart

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky x you #sebastian stan #ayesha writes

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cozy-the-overlord · 4 years ago

Text

Crimson Curls

Summary: A barista at the Avengers Tower coffeeshop goes missing. Her boyfriend, prominent Avengers engineer Michael Hauer, headlines a desperate campaign to find her, aided by the support of Tony Stark and the rest of the super-powered team. But as Hauer's narrative begins to unravel, it becomes clear that a certain Asgardian prince knows more than he's telling.

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Chapter 1: Disappearance

Previous chapter | Next Chapter

Word Count: 3,138

A/N: This is definitely something born out of my obsession with true crime and missing persons cases... I'm not sure if anybody else is as interested in this concept as I am, but I had the time of my life writing this story, so I hope that translates to you in some way.

Also, this is my first multi-chaptered fic (I know, exciting, right?!)-- part 2 should be up within the next week.

Thanks for reading!

TW: domestic violence

Read it on Ao3

Kristine Ververs was first reported missing at 6:07 AM on Tuesday, March 17, by her boyfriend Michael Hauer. He was a bit worried, he said, because she had stormed out of their apartment the night before after a fight, and he had only just realized when he woke up that morning that she never came back. His attempts to call her led him to discover that she had left her cell phone on the kitchen counter.

The dispatcher asked him to wait at the apartment for investigators to arrive. He told her he couldn’t. He had to go to work. A bit befuddled, she asked if it was at all possible for him to wait until police arrived so they could ask him some questions.

“You don’t understand,” he said. “I work for Tony Stark.”

Michael Hauer was considered to be fairly acclaimed at the Avengers Tower. He had been one of the first engineers hired when the Tower opened, picked out by the infamous genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist himself. He spent his days in the restricted upper floors, designing and testing projects so confidential that his girlfriend didn’t even know what they were.

He had met Kristine at the Tower. She worked in the coffeeshop next to the cafeteria, where the employees of all 93 stories flocked to with bleary eyes each and every morning. Kristine was hardly the most talkative barista there (on the contrary, she appeared to make it a point to say only the bare minimum), and yet she was the girl everyone thought of when they thought of their morning brew. Her wild mane of curly red hair stood out in a crowd. Even when she wasn’t in uniform, people knew her as the coffeeshop girl.

It was unclear what she thought of this. A lot of things about Kristine were unclear—she spoke very little, and never about herself. Her coworkers often wondered why someone so shy would choose to work a job that so heavily relied on social interaction, but she managed just fine. Despite her natural demeanor, she would put on a smile and speak in that bubbly barista voice people found either endearing or irritating for the customers, and no one thought anything of it.

When she disappeared, people were shocked.

“You mean the redhead from the food court?” asked Bruce in the apartment story of the Tower when the news broke. “She’s the one?”

“Yeah,” said Tony. They were crowded around the TV, the newscaster flashing a photo of Kristine shyly smiling at the camera as the tip hotline ran across the bottom of the screen. “Poor Hauer. He was a mess. I can’t believe he even came in today.”

“I didn’t know they were dating. I don’t think he’s ever mentioned her.”

“Yeah he has,” Steve turned around in his chair to face the doctor. “He brought her to the Christmas party, remember?”

Tony frowned. “Did he?”

“Of course! I remember!” Thor lit up. “She danced with my brother!”

“Oh that’s right,” Tony chuckled. “Poor girl. She didn’t say much, did she?”

“She did strike me as a bit shy,” Steve said. “I hope it’s all a misunderstanding. Maybe she’ll be back on her own.”

But she didn’t. As the days passed with no news of Kristine Ververs, media attention snowballed around the Tower. On its own, there wasn’t much to the case, but the fact that both the missing girl and her boyfriend worked for the Avengers caught the attention of the public. It seemed so impossible. How does someone who walks among superheroes vanish without a trace?

Missing posters lined the hallway walls: HAVE YOU SEEN KRISTINE? People rushed to news stations for interviews, most of which had no connection to her beyond the fact that she sometimes made their lattes in the morning. Hauer held emotional press conferences, begging anyone with information that might lead to Kristine to come forward. Everyone looked at him differently now. The standoffish, stiff engineer that had once been considered uncomfortable to be around was now a grieving boyfriend. They sent him flowers and patted him on the back in the halls, telling him they’d be praying for his girlfriend, promising to help keep the story alive.

Although that probably wasn’t an issue. Stark himself got in front of the camera, making international news as he expressed the Avengers’ concern for the Ms. Ververs and offered to help the police in their investigation in any way they could.

The investigators would have happily accepted this help if they had found anything for Stark to help with. But the fact of the matter was that there was nothing: no clues, no sightings, not even the slightest trace that Kristine Ververs had ever left her apartment. The security cameras in the lobby showed her coming home from dinner with Hauer at 8:13 PM that Sunday night, but had no record of her exiting the building around two hours later, when Hauer saw her storm out. They considered that she may have been pulled into another room, that for some reason she left through a fire escape, but the few cameras in the hallway showed nothing and witnesses were nonexistent.

Kristine had seemingly vanished into thin air.

“Do you think there’s something supernatural at play here?” Natasha asked one day. “Like, a leftover portal from the Convergence or something?”

“Unlikely,” Bruce said. “The Convergence caused our tech to go haywire. We’d definitely be getting noticeable readings if there was a portal down the street.”

“But something like that is still possible,” Tony interjected. “What with all the crazy shit we deal with on a regular basis. Someone might have been going after Hauer—he’s one of our top engineers, it wouldn’t surprise me.”

The fact that she had left her phone was strange, as well. The screen was cracked rather badly—Hauer explained that had happened a few weeks ago when she dropped it on the bathroom tile. Her call history showed that the night she went missing she had phoned an unlisted number. The call hadn’t been long—likely, it had been cut off before the other line even had a chance to answer.

Unfortunately, there seemed to be no clue as to who was on the other line. The number was so badly scrambled that it was untraceable, even with Tony’s resources. In fact, he was relatively certain that whoever she had called had been using his tech to hide their number—leading to a heightened suspicion cast upon the higher-ups at the Avenger Tower.

When after two weeks there were still no leads, Tony held another press conference to announce that he would be posting a one-million-dollar reward for any information that led to the safe return of Kristine Ververs. Hauer joined him, thanking Mr. Stark profusely and pleading once more for help from the public. In the Tower, the others watched the broadcast from the television in silence.

“Filthy weasel.”

No one had noticed Loki entering the room until he spat the words like venom, glaring at Hauer’s distressed face on the screen.

Nat frowned. “What’s your problem?”

The Asgardian made his way to the kitchen and set about boiling water, still scowling darkly. “He has the audacity to sit there and wail as though he’s the victim of some great crime,” he said. “As if he’s some tortured soul wracked with fear.”

“Brother, the woman he loves has gone missing,” Thor said. “Can you not blame him for being in pain?”

“Oh yes, he’s in such pain,” Loki rolled his eyes as he prepared a mug and teabag. “Stark is close with him, is he not? Has he asked him what it was they were quarreling over so passionately that his lady felt compelled to run out of their home in the middle of the night?” He mixed the water in the mug. “Or has no one thought to question that?” With that, he slipped down the hallway with his tea, leaving the others and their gaping expressions behind.

Loki wasn’t the first to doubt Michael Hauer’s authenticity. His neighbor, Colleen Donalds, had come forward to the police shortly after the case went public to voice her concerns. She lived across the hall from the couple, she said, and a lot of times she’d overhear their arguments. They were always incredibly one-sided. She told the police that she very rarely made out Kristine’s voice during these exchanges, but Michael’s boomed all the way down the hall. He called his girlfriend the most demeaning things, throwing out words that Colleen was ashamed to repeat. She felt sorry for Kristine.

“She’s always so quiet,” she said. “Even when I run into her when Michael’s not around, she barely says a word. I can’t believe she stays with him.”

Colleen Donalds attempted discretion. Her story was to the police and the police alone, avoiding making any direct accusations and trying to stay out of the entire situation as much as possible. Marlon Arcardi had no such interest.

“He hits her,” the couple’s next-door neighbor told the tabloid reporters. “I hear it through the walls. I’ve called the cops on him a couple times, but they never do anything about it. He was doing it the night she went missing, too. I heard the crashing. He’s a complete piece of shit.”

The magazines that hit the stands next to the grocery store checkout lines screamed in red ink: AVENGER ENGINEER RESPONSIBLE FOR GIRLFRIEND’S DISAPPEARENCE?

When questioned about it, Hauer denied all allegations. “We’d get into fights,” he said. “What couple doesn’t? It was nothing serious, and the more we focus on it, the more distracted we become from the actual issue: Kristine is missing.”

“Are you saying Mr. Arcardi is lying in his statements to the press?”

Michael Hauer shrugged bitterly. “He wants attention. He’s getting attention. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He’s trying to derail the investigation so he can have fifteen minutes of fame. It’s sickening, because we right now we need to be concentrating on Kristine.”

Hauer managed to skirt by on this explanation for a bit, but the investigators soon discovered that Marlon Arcardi was telling the truth—at least, about calling the cops. In the two years that Kristine and Michael had been living together, the police had been called to their apartment nine separate times: seven public disturbance calls from a smattering of different neighbors including Acardi, and shockingly, twice from Kristine herself.

The police refused to release these calls, saying only that each time there were no charges pressed. The public was left to draw their own conclusions as they called in Michael Hauer for more questioning. Suspicion began to blossom.

“If they’re this perfect, happy couple like he wants us to believe,” asked one newscaster. “Then why is she calling 911 on him? Why is she running out in the middle of the night? The whole thing is extremely concerning.”

More people began coming forward. There seemed to be no end to the neighbors who overheard crashes and cursing coming from the Hauer apartment. The baristas Kristine worked with started doing interviews as well.

“We used to have like, you know, night outs on the weekends sometimes,” said Curt Chambers, one of her coworkers. “We’d always ask Kristine, but she always had some excuse. Like, she was sick, or she already had plans, or something. I joked with her once, like ‘you can just say you don’t want to go, we won’t be offended.’ And she said something like ‘no, it’s not that. It’s just my boyfriend doesn’t like me being out too late.’ And I remember thinking that was a really weird thing to say.”

Elaine Janson, another coworker, had more to add. “Something always felt off about that relationship,” she said. “They’d come in together, and then he’d come down a couple times during the day. It was like he was checking on her. It was weird. And they always left together. If he was working late, she’d wait for him.” Elaine shrugged. “Kristine always seemed so tense when he was around. I mean, she was shy to begin with, but when Michael came by it was different.”

It was also revealed that Michael Hauer had failed two lie detector tests: one taken on March 19th, within days of his girlfriend’s disappearance, and another on March 27th.

Tony Stark was inundated with calls: from reporters, from employees, from concerned citizens, some asking if he still supported Michael Hauer in light of new allegations, others demanding that he fire him immediately. He responded in a press conference in front of the Tower.

“As of right now, I’ve been shown no evidence indicating that Michael Hauer is in any way involved in Kristine Ververs’ disappearance. If and when that evidence comes to light, we will reevaluate the situation and take appropriate steps.”

Then somebody leaked the calls.

No one was quite sure who got ahold of those tapes, but by morning they were being blasted on every single news broadcast under the sun. It was the first time that the public was hearing anything in Kristine’s own words, and it didn’t bode well for Michael Hauer.

“Can you please just send someone?” she whispered into the microphone, breath labored as she struggled to get the words out. “He’s really mad, I think he’s going to break down the door. Please, is someone coming?” In the background, a masculine voice was yelling something intelligible, clobbering at a wall.

“Does he get mad often?” the operator asked after assuring her that the police were on their way.

Kristine Ververs gulped back a sob. “He’s always mad.”

The second call didn’t even have words. A scream, the crash as the phone tumbled to the floor, more yelling, pleading, crying, pounding, the operator tracing the call and sending in a unit…

Michael Hauer was formally asked to resign from his duties at the Avengers Tower. When he refused, he was terminated.

Still, he remained steadfast in his story. “Kristine has been missing for nearly a month now,” he stated in a recording posted to social media (press conferences were out of the question now; so many people showed up to protest that he couldn’t get a word in edgewise). “On occasion, we would get into violent fights, but I would never do anything to hurt her. I loved her more than anything. Please, don’t allow my mistakes to derail the investigation. We must not lose focus.”

A tweet of the video link with the caption “You loved her?? Enough lies. Where’s the body, Michael?” shot up to over 2 million likes in a day. #WheresTheBodyMichael and #JusticeForKristine began trending. Petitions for the arrest of Michael Hauer racked up signatures by the hundreds.

On April 21st, over a month after Kristine Ververs was first reported missing, a second, more in-depth search of the Hauer apartment was conducted. They noticed some things that had been missed the first time. The door lock had recently been replaced. The television screen was scratched. But, most critically, there was kitchen knife missing from the set atop the refrigerator. When questioned, Hauer claimed he had no idea what could have happened to it.

Detection dogs were brought in. While the cadaver dogs found no sign of the presence of a corpse, two different blood hounds alerted to the scent of human blood in the kitchen area and indicated a trail leading towards hall. A sample was taken from the carpet and sent to the lab for analysis. With the help of the advanced technology offered by the Avengers Tower, it was conclusively identified as Kristine’s blood.

As if that wasn’t enough already, a few days later, on April 25th, a trash collector turned in the missing kitchen knife to the police. He said he had noticed it in a dumpster earlier that day and recognized it from the description in the paper. There were three sets of fingerprints on the handle: Michael Hauer’s, Kristine Ververs’, and an inconclusive set assumed to be the trash collector’s, despite his insistence that he was wearing gloves when he picked it up. Kristine’s DNA was found on the blade.

The public had been screaming “GUILTY!” ever since the phone recordings were released. Now, they roared.

Michael Hauer was arrested on April 29th and charged with the murder of Kristine Ververs.

It was a shocking turn of events. Technically speaking, there was still no proof that a murder had taken place: there was no body, nor any sign that one existed. And just as there was no evidence of Kristine Ververs leaving the apartment that fateful March 16th, there was no evidence of Michael Hauer leaving the apartment that night either, especially with something as cumbersome as a human corpse.

The twitter hashtag found its home in newspaper headlines: Where’s the Body, Michael?

In the penthouse of the Avengers Tower, Tony rubbed his forehead. “This is such a fucking mess.”

They were gathered once again in the living room, watching as the newscaster recapped the last month and a half, breaking news that was already known. Kristine’s picture, with her downcast cerulean eyes and her frizzy red curls, flashed across the screen once more.

Tony sighed. “He just seemed so normal. I never would have thought—”

“You think he did it?” asked Steve.

“Well, he did something,” Tony snapped. “Clearly. He’s got a history of violence, her blood’s all over the floor—”

“No one’s debating that he did something,” interjected Bruce. “But if he killed her, what happened to the body? He never left the apartment that night, and there’s no evidence that a cadaver was ever stored there”

“He’s smart! That’s why we hired him, he’s a freaking genius! He probably thought of something—”

“Thought of what?” the doctor asked, throwing up his hands. “Teleportation? How the hell did he get the body out?”

“He didn’t.”

The group turned around to find Loki lurking in the back, studying them carefully from the shadows.

Bruce was the first to find his voice. “What?”

“He didn’t remove the body, because there was no body to remove,” he said deliberately.

“But, Loki,” Thor said uncertainly. “Weren’t you convinced Hauer was a killer from the start?”

“I never said he was a killer. I said he was a filthy weasel,” Loki said. “And he is, clearly. He's a slimy, abusive, manipulative, wretch of a man, but he's not a killer—although he likely believes himself to be."

Tony frowned. "What are you talking about, Loki?"

"He cannot be labeled a killer if his victim survived his attempt on her life. Which she did,” Loki paused a moment to let his statement sink in. “Despite Michael Hauer's best efforts, Kristine Ververs is very much alive.

#loki x ofc #loki marvel #loki fanfic #avengers fanfic #crimson curls #cozy writes

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ginnyvos · 4 years ago

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Dear GM, do not build your world

(Let the players to it for you)

As a gamemaster (GM) and dungeon master (DM), I take utter joy in building my worlds.

I love figuring out the way it fits together, laying down the lay of the land, designing the socioeconomic and cultural landscape, making up prominent figures and hidden treasures. I can spend hours and hours writing, imagining, lovingly building and developing every aspect of it. I’ll strive for an inner logic and consistency, a thematic unity that leaves open space for the characters to tell their own stories in. Pages and pages and pages of notes, maps, pictures and statistics.

I love these pet worlds of mine. Love playing in my sand boxes and building my sand castles all on my own. It’s one of the reasons I was drawn to GMing in the first place and I don’t think I’ll ever stop doing it.

And yet here I am, telling you not to do it.

Build the bare bones of a world instead, just enough to inspire your players, and let them fill it up.

Hell, if you do it right, you don’t even have to make up the Big Bad Evil. Your players will do it for you instead, and will be all the more invested because of it.

Let me expand on that.

I joined a really cool discord server for a podcast named “DMs Treehouse” in January. People would run tabletop roleplaying games (ttrpgs) on the server. A bunch of us ended up playing Masks, a teenage superhero ttrpg. The base premise is simple: Halcyon city is a city full of superheroes where every superhero comic cliché holds true. You play a teenager who, for whatever reason, is one of those heroes.

It started with one GM: Jonah. He ran a number of interconnected one shots, different players in different combinations. Then another person GMed and we decided that his one shot, too, took place in that world. Then I GMed, and another person, and another. Everyone added their own unique spin on it, but it all somehow worked together and didn’t contradict each other at all.

It worked because it wasn’t the GMs that built the world; it was the players. With each character that got created, more lore was added: One player made a character that was the mayor’s son, and so suddenly the city had a mayor that hated superheroes. I created a character that came from a long line of very well known superheroes, and suddenly everyone in this world knew and had an opinion about the Skybrights. Another created a connection to AEGIS (the Masks version of SHIELD) and suddenly, AEGIS had a face and a lead agent.

And so it went on: there is an orphanage and a group home for superpowered kids, two newspapers that are in constant competition, a music scene, a building that has a sideways circus tent sticking out of it, a line of products branded after a big shot superhero with a taste for publicity. There are several branches of AEGIS and there’s the HCPD (Halcyon City Police Department), and those don’t play well together at all. There’s an evil science corporation and an underground fighting ring. Add to that a race of sentient alien garden gnomes, a really good BBQ restaurant and an assortment of aliens, robots and teenage superheroes and you have a city that is alive, thriving and full of conflict.

This is the most vibrant, creative, multifaceted, interesting world I’ve had the pleasure of GMing, and I hardly made any of it up myself! The things I did make up mostly built on the backstories the players gave me.

More than that, the world feels real and lived in like no other, despite being a super weird, cliché, gimmicky superhero world. That’s because it didn’t all come from one person’s imagination. Different people with different experiences, different perspectives and different interests all added their point of view to this world, and that makes it feel real. All I do as a GM is take everyone’s backstories and find the places where they intersect. That’s where I play.

The best part of it all is that everyone feels ownership of this world. Everyone adds to it. Everyone feels invested. If the villain you’re fighting is your sister, or your teammate’s sister, it’s so much more impactful than when they’re just some Very Evil Person the GM came up with. That makes it personal. I will never forget the moment I found out that my character’s sister was the one attacking my teammates, and I wasn’t even playing in that game!

Look on as slowly, lovingly, the world gets filled in. And if some parts aren’t filled in, who cares? Apparently those aren’t that interesting to your players. If there’s anything missing, you can add it together. So many of the best, most memorable parts of our world were added just because, in game, the players decided to go to a place that didn’t exist yet.

“So you walk away from Duke’s house, his father yelling at you from behind the door. Where are you going?”

“Is there some kind of… underground fighting ring in this city? I need to blow off some steam!”

“Sure, absolutely!”

“Alright, we go there! What does it look like?”

“You tell me. What does this underground fighting ring look like and how does Ray know about it?”

“Oh! Well… It’s in this old warehouse in a rundown part of town and it looks like-“

So if you’re a GM, try it. Come up with a theme, the bare bones of a world, just enough to give your players inspiration… and let them fill it in. Be interested in your player’s characters and backstories and ask them questions. Help them develop and integrate their characters into the world, or take what they came up with and secretly integrate it yourself. Then sit back and enjoy their reactions as they discover how they are now a part of the larger narrative… and how their backstories are biting them in the ass. Grin as they accuse you of being evil, of giving them trauma, and tell them (quite happily) that they did all of it themselves.

Honestly, most game prep these days feels more like the players hand me the clues and all I have to do is take my little ball of red string to connect the dots and make my murder board. I find that I make a pretty decent conspiracy theorist.

Thanks to all of the folks over on the DMs Treehouse server, you all rock!

Jonah (check out his podcast 2s Company!), Scott (check out his podcast, Reckless Rollers, as well!), Peach, Fran, Arca, Johnny, Cameron (from the DMs Treehouse podcast), Fishy, Alex, Gigi, Reid, Cam (also from DMs Treehouse), Patrick (also from 2sCompany), Lychee, Lime, Chey, Pikro and Jack, thank you for building this amazing world with me and just being really cool players and people!

#ttrpg #dnd #masks #dming #gming #dm #gm #dms treehouse #worldbuilding #I adore worldbuilding #don't get me wrong #And I love the worlds I've made and will probably make many more #But this game really made me think about the way I prep games #And changed it a lot

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superman86to99 · 4 years ago

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Superman #83 (November 1993)

Funeral for a Friend: uh, that one Green Lantern supporting character who died when Coast City got blown up (Joe? Gary?). In this issue DC’s superheroes pay tribute to the tragedy of Coast City while also deciding what the hell to do with the giant engine that’s now in its place. Weird early ‘90s Hawkman! Dr. Fate with boobs! Already-slightly-psychotic Hal Jordan! EVERYONE IS HERE.

(Nice one, Guy.)

Meanwhile, Lex Luthor Jr. is also sneaking around Engine City, supposedly to prevent it from falling into the ocean and killing some of Aquaman’s friends, but in reality he just wants to look into the Cyborg Superman’s computer to see if he can find a recipe for making kryptonite. As the heroes argue about what to do with Engine City (Hal says drop it into the water, screw the fish), some leftover Warworld aliens start attacking them, like the holdout Japanese soldiers who never found out WWII was over.

The attack precipitates the city’s fall into the water and the heroes have to think fast to prevent a fish holocaust. Their solution is for all the Green Lantern-related characters (Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, Alan Scott, Alan’s daughter Jade) to “detoxify” the debris with their powers before it falls into the ocean. And it works! These guys should totally open a carpet cleaning business.

As for Lex Jr., he does find the recipe for kryptonite inside the crumbling city, but just as he’s about to write it down (he wasn’t carrying any floppy disks, apparently), Supergirl yanks him out of there to prevent him from burning alive. What an unsupportive girlfriend. Anyway, Superman then takes some of the debris and builds a giant memorial for Coast City’s 6,999,999 anonymous lost souls, and Gary. Sweet Gary. You will be missed.

Creator-Watch:

If the art looks different that’s because this is the first issue inked by Joe Rubinstein, ending Brett Breeding’s classic two and a half year run as Dan Jurgens’ main inker (so classic that it feels a lot longer than that). Breeding will be back for Superman/Doomsday: Hunter/Prey and other stuff, though. As for Rubinstein, Don says: “At the time, I had trouble with the transition, being soused to Brett Breeding’s finishes over Jurgens’ pencils, but looking at it now, the art looks great. It doesn’t look as smooth or blocky as Breeding’s finishes, but Rubinstein’s hatchier style serves Jurgens pretty well, even if it takes some getting used to.”

Plotline-Watch:

At the start of the issue, Superman goes to pick up Batman to take him to Coast City, only to find him wearing a different costume, acting differently, and sounding like a different guy. That’s because that’s not really Bruce Wayne in the suit anymore, but the replacement he got after Bane broke his back. That’s right: freakin’ Psi-Phon and Dreadnaught.

Superman gives a speech about how superheroes must work together to prevent another tragedy like Coast City from happening, but when Guy asks him if that means he’s going back to the Justice League, he’s like “uh, not yet.” Wisely, he’s gonna wait for Grant Morrison to get there first.

Hal Jordan’s characterization in this issue is interesting. In Green Lantern #47 (which came out the same month), he’s bummed about Coast City but still hopeful and serene, while here he’s already going Parallax on us. Wonder if Dan Jurgens knew more about what DC was planning for Hal than the other comic’s writer.

There’s a cute scene where Superman is flying by Kansas on his way to Coast City and quickly drops some flowers for Ma Kent. (That, or Flash picked this moment to hit on a random older woman.)

Former TV exec/crime boss Morgan Edge has released an autobiography where he trashes the Daily Planet’s Cat Grant for using her sexiness (and, you know, sex) to get dirt on him and send him to jail. He also accuses Cat of being a crappy mother to her son Adam. He kind of has a point there, because what kind of mom would let her kid play with an Atari in the early ‘90s?! The SNES and the Genesis were already out!

Believe it or not, Morgan Edge’s pervy dad in that screenshot above isn’t the creepiest thing in that scene. Don: “Very spooky how the guy dangling outside of Cat’s apartment goes without mention. An ominous foreshadow of one of the very few missteps of Jurgens’ run.”

But the most ominous part of the issue is at the end, when Clark Kent accepts Jimmy Olsen’s offer to become roomies, since Clark lost his apartment on account of being dead and all. Don wants you to know that “Jimmy is still in that towel by the way” in the scene below. I hope.

Patreon-Watch:

Shout out to our patrons Aaron, Murray Qualie, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, and a warm welcome to Samuel Doran! Last month our patrons got to read an article about Superman’s bizarre first Elseworlds appearance ever, the Kamandi: At Earth’s End miniseries, and got a veeeeeery early look at this post you’re reading right now (since Don finished his part way before I did mine). Right now I’m preparing this month’s Patreon-only article, which involves Superman wearing pointy ears and Luthor wearing make up. Find out more at https://www.patreon.com/superman86to99

Oh, and in case you missed it, we’ve been posting Don’s new commentary for older issues on the Patreon as free posts (click above and scroll down to see them). EVEN MORE from Don after the jump!

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

Another classic issue, and such a nice wrap-up to the "Death and Return" storyline (as well as being a much-needed check-In on the DC Universe at large). We start with the cover, and it’s a very good one, letting the reader know right away that it’s a big team-up issue. (It also is a real showcase for 90s costume design, and how weird the JLA lineup was at this point).

The opening splash is a neat image of a rarely seen pairing, Superman and Commissioner Gordon. Jurgens draws James Gordon a little heavier and more Pa-Kent like than I’m used to seeing him, but it’s still neat to see him interacting with Superman. A page later, we get another rare pairing—the returned Superman with the imposter Batman, Jean-Paul Valley. The tension in the interaction between “AzBats” and Superman comes across well in their exchange, as does Superman’s doubts about who he was really speaking to.

It’s a dreamy looking Superman crossing the country from Metropolis to Coast City, and I daresay that they’re trying to channel Dean Cain a little as he approaches Kansas.

The best panel of the issue though is the two page spread of all the heroes gathering at the wreckage of Coast City, and there’s so much to love here. The body language, and facial expressions speak volumes about each of the characters: Superman looking swashbuckling and upbeat, Green Lantern brooding like a man barely holding on, Green Arrow all attitude and shadow. Just a great spread.

Another cool image is Aquaman showing up late, and emerging very royally in protection of his ocean (undercut masterfully by a legitimately funny couple of lines from Guy Gardner). Page 14’s Hal Jordan is a great drawing, and this whole storyline seems like a table setter for the "Emerald Twilight" story coming up.

The sequence of a firelit Luthor at the computer is a good look at his madness, but it does beg the question of just how little Supergirl seems to take in. He was JUST talking aloud about Kryptonite, and she emerges seeming not to hear. The image of Supergirl flying Lex away as he struggles against her psychic grab is a good one, even if her uniform is depicted as a little clingier than I imagine it to really be.

Superman floating above his obelisk with his arm in front of his face like Dracula is a cool look, even if it is a little dramatic.

Lastly, the image of Clark turning up the stereo is a good one, even if his hair length is wildly shorter here than in Coast City (and I usually dislike it when they mention real world bands, as it comes off trying too hard to be hip).

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

I have to love how meta it is to have Superman outright saying that Batman is dressing more “threatening” these days, on page 2. I guess he couldn’t come right out and say “you have an extreme new look, and it’s totally badass! Batman the next generation!”

Last we saw of Supergirl she was storming out of the party on Lex’s Zeppelin after Lex II was getting all horned up at the sight of Lois Lane, but it appears here they’ve mostly patched things up as they fly to Coast City.

More meta-stuff: Jimmy clunkily complimenting Lois on her new hair by saying she “oughta be on TV or something!”. This whole exchange is very expository, really, “Clark must be pretty mad… though he’s busy worrying about where he’s going to bunk…” Anything else to get in there, Jimmy?

The harshness some of the heroes have for Lex Junior seems a little out of place, especially since he’s still known to most of the heroes as an ally from "Panic in the Sky", and the "Doomsday" storyline. Superman’s comment was borderline, but where is all this anger Flash is showing coming from?

Being as familiar as we are with these writers, there are certain phrases or ideas that a certain writer will go to way, way too often. Byrne had a number of stories where Superman would “ionize” something with his heat vision, and it occurred to me that maybe he just liked that word. I would submit that Dan Jurgens likes the word “atomize”. It was used by the Cyborg Superman when talking about Doomsday, and is used a bunch just in this issue.

I find it hilarious that Hawkman appears so prominently in this issue, but doesn’t get any lines. This issue is an interesting time capsule—I had almost forgotten about the de-aged Starheart powered Alan Scott era.

Speaking of lines, they don’t give Captain Marvel much to do in this issue, but I always like seeing him, even if his only contribution is the odd “Holy Moley!”

Colouring error on page 12, where Hal’s ring has a red centre (maybe the colourist had Alan Scott’s red and green look on the brain?)

A raging Hal standing by Green Arrow is a sad foreshadowing of their confrontation to come in Zero Hour.

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nodesiretogrowup · 5 years ago

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alrighty, let’s recap this bitch!

LAUNCHPAD! I’VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! PLEASE COME BACK!

I looked up when National S’mores Day is (because I’m a nerd) and it is August 10. So either the photo later was mislabeled or, more likely, Launchpad got the wrong info

Huey with the little baby scouts is TOO CUTE!!

I wonder if Violet’s there. Probably not because she would have been hanging out with Huey if she was. Or this episode was meant to come before Challenge

It’s a baby beagle boy! I wonder if he’s there of his own will or if it is part of some plan

He scared away most of the kids! Now they won’t get to enjoy s’more-y goodness

His s’more sounds DOPE AF, though it probably would give you INSTANT DIABETES

“Aw, not even a modern robot.” MY SWEET SON!

I know it was the bully saying it, but Huey should chill a bit when it comes to doing things EXACTLY and PERFECTLY. It’s just gonna cause stress

BOYD IS BABY AND I LOVE HIM

“Would you like to be friends?” “Sure. Wow, that was easy.” If only it was always that easy

I don’t know if Huey has the JWG as memorized as he thinks, going by Challenge and Quack Pack

“We’re just kids.” “Definitely!” *uses laser eyes to light fire*

This episode does a good job showing what a trigger word/phrase is like, though I’m not sure if that was the intention

I like that a squirrel with a burnt tail scurries out of one of the trees. It’s the attention to detail that helps elevate this show

Instead of jumping out of the way or hiding Huey jumps straight onto Boyd to try and help him. Huey already sees Boyd as someone worth protecting

The kid that just runs across the screen while his hat is on fire is great

Not sure why they took the time to change before going to Gyro but whatever

BOYD IS ADORABLE AND I LOVE HIM

“I’m more than an intern, I’m a scientist.” I feel like this might be hinting at Fenton’s arc for the season, possibly wanting to be seen more as a scientist than a superhero

I’m gonna pretend that using sunglasses on someone who is shooting lasers out of their eyes is a Cyclops reference. And they look pretty dope too

At least Fenton knows when he is in over his head...this time

Gyro trying to climb up on the table to avoid Boyd was kind of funny. And then him protecting himself with Lil Bulb

“Which one?” Manny is DONE with this shit

“Boyd? What idiot called it that?” Even when he’s not there, Gyro can still burn Mark lol

I figured 2-BO was a reference to something but wasn’t sure what. Apparently it’s a bit of a play on the name of Astro Boy’s in-universe creator’s son. Neat

Huey stays in between Gyro and Boyd to protect Boyd

Fenton’s face cracks me up. There are NO THOUGHTS in this man’s head lol

“You were an intern like me?” “Nothing like you.” Damn Gyro, why so salty?

I don’t know why Fenton is so surprised that Gyro was an intern. I feel like that’s a pretty standard thing

LOVE IS STORED IN THE BOYD

It make me sad when Gyro mentions how many times Boyd’s core programing was altered. Poor baby doesn’t really get a say in what happens to him

“ROAD TRIP!” Huey, you do these kinds of things ALL THE TIME. I feel like he should be used to this by now

“YOU’RE not going. GIZMODUCK is.” Does Gyro see Fenton and Gizmoduck as separate entities or is this just a no, but yes type of joke?

Huey standing up for Boyd is so sweet. They barely know each other but Huey trusts him

When the episode doesn’t have the theme song you KNOW shit’s ‘bout to go down

I wonder who’s flying the plane. My guess is Launchpad because Della would have been cooing over Huey making a new friend and go into embarrassing mom mode. He probably went of on his own adventure or did tourist things like buying collectables. Or maybe Gyro flew them there. Who knows

As many people have said, the art direction and animation for this episode are BEAUTIFUL. I love the pink tint the lighting has in most of the episode

SAILOR MOON CONFIRMED CANON

I bet Mark Beaks is a Sailor Moon fan

I like that the in-universe Sailor Moon is a bunny because Usagi is Japanese for rabbit

I love that going incognito nowadays means you wear a hat, a hoodie, and sunglasses. Boyd looks good in red (though red is my favorite color so I might be biased)

Gyro-takes one step and the fuzz shows up. NOICE

I like detective lady. She has a cool design

Huey and Fenton are awful at acting casual

“Crimes?” Oh my sweet Hubert. I’m pretty sure most if not all of Scrooge’s employees have had run ins w/ The Law

Gyro is like, move I’m gay

“I’m here on a very important...field trip.” ALL THE KIDS NEED A GYRO FIELD TRIP LIKE HOW THE GAANG GOT ZUKO FIELD TRIPS

Lil Bulb said FUCK THE POLICE

I wonder what it actually says

Fenton just watches as the inspector chases Lil Bulb

Seriously though, Fenton does a bunch of silly stuff in the background and this episode warrants a rewatch SOLELY for him

How did Lil Bulb know where to find them? And how did he shake off the inspector? I want to see his little adventure

FOR SCIENCE!

“Blah!” *arm armor attaches* I want this joke to come back

Fenton and Huey INSTANTLY nerd out. I love them

Fenton being a Gyro fanboy is ADORABLE

“AH, DUST IN MY EYE! The dust of GENIUS!” What a dweeb lol

I like that Fenton keeps the arm on for the whole scene

Poor Boyd, he looks so scared

Huey going into protective big brother mode

Doofus continues to be equal parts hilarious and disturbing

Where are their parents? Like, someone should be looking after these kids! ESPECIALLY DOOFUS!

“Do you need a hug?” I SURE FUCKING DO

Mark is such a prick lol

“NO WAY, A ROBOT BOY! DREAMS DO COME TRUE!” YOU DON’T DESERVE THAT DREAM YOU COCKWAFFLE

SOMEONE HUG THIS CHILD! BECAUSE I CANNOT!

“Seems like the little guy’s had it tough.” MY POOR BABY

Lil Bulb gets SO PISSED he blew a fuse

You really shouldn’t have left them alone, Gyro

Why does Fenton automatically jump to superhero for Boyd? I mean the theme of the episode is letting Boyd choose who he wants to be so of course Fenton would have his own idea of what Boyd should be, but why go straight to superhero? Do you want superbros, Fenton?

Huey already realises this might be a bad idea, because he’s more concerned about Boyd as a person rather than Boyd as a machine

“IN RETROSPECT WE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE USED THE FIRST HOLE” Fenton, you dumbass genius

Dr. Akita’s setup made me laugh. I DIED when he “enhanced” the image

I recognized the character on the chips though I don’t know their name. I’m more of a western animation fan, so many of the references probably flew pass me

BOOP

I also have a key on my laptop that flies off (it’s the u key)

I LOVE BABY GYRO! It’s so cool they went with his og look (minus the red hair) to show him younger

I LOVE THE OUTLAW COUPLE! SO COOL! SO HOT!

Huey is so DONE with Fenton

I love the stupid G pose he does. PLEASE HAVE HIM DO IT AGAIN. PREFERABLY WHEN DW IS NEARBY

Such a polite boy

“My bones are metal!” This line and Boyd’s catchphrase of “Hi, I’m Boyd/2-BO, a definitely real boy!” reminded me of Olaf. The end of the episode gives Boyd even MORE Olaf parallels

Gizmoduck sliding by those boxes was cool

How did Gizmoduck get himself unstuck from that alley?

I loved the double take the female outlaw does

Huey is TRAUMATIZED

I legit thought Boyd was gonna light the oil on fire the first time I watched and I was like that won’t help

“So, what do we do now?” “I...don’t know.” This is why you don’t leave babies alone to fight criminals

Boyd reminded me of Calculester from Monster Prom when he asked the lady to return the money

STOP LEAVING THE CHILDREN ALONE! THEY ARE BABIES! THEY AREN’T EVEN TEENS!

“Why do we always fight when we’re on vacation?” Because this is Ducktales and there is no such thing as a normal vacation

Lil Bulb just kicking his lil feet

The “lab” safety poster made me chuckle. Then I remembered Akita is also a dog and I laughed more

LITTLE BABY GYRO GRADUATING! My guess is his professor/dean/principal influenced him on a personal level and is partially the reason Boyd is a parrot

Lil Helper blueprints. Nice reference to the og series

Has anyone talked about the poster with the cogs and the dogman in old-timey clothes that says GIZMOS on it? I think it’s a Dr. Who reference

IDEALISTIC GYRO AND BOYD IS TOO CUTE!

How did he NOT notice the second hole in the wall?

That is a surplus of handcuffs. Do you think she uses them for...fun times?

“I’m just a guy! With very bruisable skin!”

Poor misunderstood Gyro inventions

Boyd just politely waves at everyone

Huey is WAY calmer than I would be if I got lost in an unfamiliar city

Boyd says FUCK WORK

I love Huey stimming. Really hope Disney will let them confirm in words that Huey is autistic

Is it more common for two kids to wonder around by themselves in Tokyo? Because as an American I find it super stressful and would want to find their parents so they could be safer

THE BUNNY! AND THEN THE KITTIES!

Do cats just take buses on their own in Tokyo?

CHERRY BLOSSOM TIME BITCHES

“And I know what you’re thinking, what about ninjas?” I am ALWAYS wondering about ninjas

I like that Huey finally has a friend who shares the same interests and doesn’t mind info dumps

“Boyd, I don’t think you’re a killer robot. You’re just a kid.” “Aw, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” T_T

I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD

I like Boyd’s motief

Akita is us after the quarantine

When he complained about being stiff I was like mood

I like his Green Goblin disc thingy

The other people don’t give a shit about Boyd just FLYING DOWN WITH HIS ROCKET FEET!

Gyro shows up *dramatic wind*

His tablet has a duckie on it. I wounder if they have a Mac/PC thing going on with Waddle and what brand the duckie represents

When the adults argue and Boyd gets all sad and scared I FELT THAT

Huey doing his best to keep Boyd calm and defend him SO PURE

OH GOD HELP THIS POOR CHILD!

HUEY IS A GOOD BOY AND A GOOD FRIEND

“Because of you I’ve become an outcast.” I feel like you did that to yourself

ANIME HAIR POOF

ngl, that shit was TERRIFYING

“You don’t have to do what Akita tells you. Do what I tell you.” So close

“INTERN! FIGHT BETTER!”

Huey must weigh NOTHING if Gyro can pick him up

Akita’s tail looks like a cinnamon roll

Huey always finding that hidden info

The gibberish Gyro says is great

BOYD SAYS IT BECAUSE GYRO TOLD HIM THAT!

THAT HUG!!!

HOW DARE AKITA HURT BABY GYRO AND SWEET BABY BOYD?!

PROTECTIVE PAPA GYRO

NEEEEERRRRRRRD FIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

“You’ll never invent anything worthwhile.” LIL BULB HAS ENTERED THE FIGHT

Are doggos recyclable?

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS

Blue eyes=good robot

ANOTHER HUG

Be Only Yourself, Dude

I like that basically Gyro admitted that he was like Fenton if Fenton hadn’t had support

“That’s not technically how doctorites work, BUT I DON’T CARE!” Do you think Gyro doesn’t have his doctorate or do you think he assumed Fenton already had one?

“The hugging is a ‘just for today’ thing.” YOU CANNOT STOP THE HUG TRAIN!

“Leave. Now.”

Are they gonna go to the plane?

This season has been consistently knocking it out of the park! I’m a SLUT for backstory episodes, so I enjoyed this one a lot. I loved seeing Gyro when he had hope and faith in the world. It SUCKS that Akita took that away from him. Hopefully Gyro will see things slightly less cynical now. Fenton was a dweeb the whole episode and I love him for it. Boyd is SO SWEET AND PRECIOUS and in NO WAY deserved the treatment he got. I have a feeling there is more to Boyd’s creation/Dr.Akita that we’ll get later on. Huey was ADORABLE this episode. It’s really sweet to see him hangout with someone who gets him. Everyone deserves to have at least one friend like that. The fight scene was GORGEOUS! SO FLUID! I really loved this one and I hope we get more Team Science episodes because these characters play really well off each other.

#ducktales #dt spoilers #a bit later than normal but oh well

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duck-duck-me · 5 years ago

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A bit of an endgame fix-it bullet fic

Two years pass, and Bucky and Sam have been saving the world while old man Steve Rogers watches from the sidelines. It’s good to have him around but its not the same.

In april of 2025 Steve Rogers dies in his sleep. He was 98, it was more than his time to go

Bucky doesn’t speak for 3 days, and Sam isn’t really much better.

The first time Bucky does speak its in Gaelic (a language nobody knew he spoke) It takes 4 more days for him to start speaking in english again.

Wanda comes back to mourn her friend and stays

The funeral is pretty small, but the murals, the pop culture is prolific. There is a mural that would put the one at the Smithsonian to shame painted on Bucky’s apartment building

A year passes, and things kinda go back to normal

Peter Parker, journalism student at NYU kinda becomes friends with Bucky and Sam.

And on an unrelated note, that dude Spiderman has been seen kicking it with Captain America and the Winter Soldier

Captain marvel and King T’Challa swing by when they can, even Thor comes back to earth to check in every now and again. After all Steve was one of his favorite midguardians.

Bucky accidentally meets a teenage girl who calls herself Ms Marvel in the sewer and becomes her mentor (Look Wolverine isn’t in the MCU so having Bucky as Kamala Kamm’s mentor makes the most sense)

They have an Avengers again

And Suddenly Those avengers find themselves fighting the KKK (Still Banking on Son Of Serpent) and they are scrambling. Former members of Hydra, people who didn’t quite come back right, and a whole new bread of racism that sprung up in the time between the break up and the snap are attacking citizens with full force, and the avengers can’t handle it.

They need Steve Rogers.

Wanda suggests that they go back in time to get him, “We bring him back for the mission then drop him off right where we found him. It shouldn’t mess up the timeline too much”

Bucky and Sam begrudgingly agree and decide that its best to send Wanda and Peter back to get him.

Look everyone is going to know who Bucky is, and Sam never wants to experience being a black man in the 1940s

Later that night Bucky confides in Sam. “I don’t think I will be able to handle watching him leave again”

“I don’t think any of us will, but between you and me, I don’t think anybody would fault you for going back with him.”

“I really don’t think I would be able to handle that either”

Sam swings an arm around him and says “I’m sorry bud”

The next morning Scott Lang helps them find Steve Rogers in time. He’s pretty hard to track considering he exists at every point in time for a solid 100 years. Turns out that 37 year old Steve will be at a lunch counter in June of 1945 at about 3 pm.

Steve did go back to see Peggy. He got that dance, he warned her about what would happen to SHIELD, told her to be there for Tony in December of 1991 because he was going to need somebody to love him. He got his chance to say goodbye, because he hadn’t when she died in 2016 and that had been eating away at him for 7 fucking years.

Steve was going to go back to the pad. He really was, BUT first he was going to get something to eat from his favorite lunch counter that got turned into a starbucks while he was in the ice.

And when he walked in who should he see but an old friend and a kid from queens

He doesn’t even have time to ask questions before Peter says “Look cap, sir we came from 2026 and things are a little crazy. We need your help. After we stop King Serpent we can totally bring you back to live out your days with Agent Carter.”

“So I can do what? I was just about to head back to Bruce and Bucky and Sam.”

Wanda looks at him. She has seen that memory of Steve on the bench in Bucky’s dreams. She held his hand while he cried about it once. But Steve isn’t lying. “You didn’t come back to Tony’s funeral. A way older version of you met Sam and Bucky there. He was waiting. You passed on your shield to Sam. Told them you got a life. That older version of you died. You stayed in 1945 with Peggy. You had a wedding ring, and you refused to tell us about it”

“Peggy has a husband and Kids, I would never take that away from her… And I would never abandon you guys without at least talking about it before hand.”

And then it hits Peter (Look he doesn’t have a 4.0 in college and a swanky internship at the daily bugle for nothing) “Shit we are the reason you don’t come back to the funeral. We are going to bring you back 3 years later. You don’t stay in the 40s, you just kinda experience time out of order.”

Wanda is quick as they come too, “That means the older version of you didn’t come from the past he came from the future. We have an extra vial of pym particles. Peter take him to sam right now, I need to go to 2024. I am so going to regret leaving you two alone together”.

It is a terrible idea really, but somehow Steve and Peter manage to not get in trouble for the 5 minutes that they aren’t supervised

In fact steve Spends all of that time asking Peter what the hell happened and how Bucky and Sam are doing.

Wanda finds herself in Bucky’s house in 2024. She bursts into the room saying “I just brought you back from 1940”

Steve grins “I remember. I bet you have a few questions.”

“Understatement of the year really” She decides to ask. She could just look into his head. That would be the easy option really, but Steve is her friend. He wouldn’t lie. “Do we bring you back to 1940”

“Nope, I came back from 2086 during the funeral and waited on that bench.”

“Who has the matching wedding band?”

“Really? You don’t want lottery numbers or the winners of the next 60 superbowls? You don’t want to know how we beat the serpent?”

“I think we’ve messed with time enough”

“Who do you think?”

She grins, “When do you guys actually get married?”

“2028, once we get back together, which I guess is soon for you, we stay that way. We fell into our old habits and this time we never had to let go.”

So she has to grill him “Who officiated, and who are the best men?”

“T’challa officiated, Sam was Bucky’s best man and you were mine.”

“What made you want to come back, or stay back”

“Bucky died. It was peaceful, and we had been married for 58 years. I’m not really meant to live without him.“

She gives him a huge hug then zaps herself back to 2026

Wanda actually gets back to Bucky and Sam before Steve and Peter do. “Peter and I were the reason that Steve didn’t come back.”

Bucky doesn’t even have time to blink at her in confusion before he has an arm full of time traveling super soldier. He can barely breathe when he hears Steve say “She told me its been 3 years since the funeral… I’m so sorry Bucky. I never wanted to leave”

And suddenly Sam is hugging them both, and all 3 of them are crying while Wanda is whispering something about Starbucks to Peter.

Look he has enhanced hearing, but he isn’t really paying attention right now, he is too focused on telling Steve how much he missed him

It takes a minute, but Wanda, Steve and Peter are able to explain everything, and Bucky, still crying just hugs him again “Thank you for staying”

“Buck, I wouldn’t give you up for the world… Any of you”

They fight the serpent, and they win. And they keep on being the Avengers. And Steve stays with them the whole time.

Steve is more than happy to let Sam be Captain America. The Captain is a champion for the underdogs, and Steve doesn’t really fit that bill any more. PLUS The nomad suit that fury’s personal costume designer (Agent Armani he called her?) is actually really cool, and its nice to have a low profile. He still saves the world, but now he has more time to draw (His online comic about a bunch of superheroes all living together in a tower is actually very popular, and all similarities between his characters and existing superheroes is purely coincidental) , and to show Bucky the modern world, his modern world.

Steve also takes the time to hang out with his niece Morgan, she is a smart kid, and she makes him help her fill out her WWII study sheets.

A number of things make Bucky want to tell Steve that he is in love with him. but the thing that finally pushes him over the edge is watching peter parker propose to his childhood sweetheart Michelle.

Bucky has barely said the words “I love you” before steve kisses him within an inch of his life.

Life goes on, and for once, Steve, Bucky, and Sam actually get to enjoy it (Even though they still get shot at a lot)

#Stucky #captain america #Steve Rogers #falcon #sam wilson #Winter Soldier #Bucky Barnes #Marvel #wanda maximoff #peter parker #mine

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always-winter-baby · 5 years ago

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feel free to add anything i missed, endgame haters.

This is a Wordpress post that I never posted about a Facebook post that I made last fall (2019) about how godawful Endgame was.

-------- I know I've been gone for a while and when I was here, I was writing about films I had watched. (Maybe I should start that.)

However, I am a HUGE fan of Marvel and their cinematic universe. I have the movies, the comics, the clothing, and far too much memorabilia to be considered a "casual" fan at this point. I've been reading comics for about twelve years and I started dedicating myself to the MCU around the end of Phase One.

That being said, it means everyone comes to me with their Marvel questions and everyone comes to me to see what I thought of each new film. And I don't give simple, "It was good. I really liked it," answers. I make complete strangers regret their own questions sometimes because I dive into the deep end immediately describing how they really pulled off the Mysterio "mind-bending" stuff fantastically, but how the story hinged really hard on Tony Stark when Peter in the comics stands on his own and Peter in the MCU should be able to as well.

I can give you speeches on the reason why Natasha's backstory would have been better established in The Winter Soldier than Age of Ultron or and how killing off Pietro in his first film did a disservice to Wanda's character, etc, etc. In the words of a person I passed by at work the other day, "I can talk the ears off a snake."

That's not the point of this post. That was just establishing that I am very dedicated and I Care deeply about these characters and this world.

That being said, when someone on Facebook not too long ago asked me to share my opinions on Avengers: Endgame, I asked him if he was really prepared for the novel I was going to spill on why I think that Endgame was a poorly written and directed film. He said his was. But his lack of any response to my novel was proof that he clearly was not.

However, for anyone else wondering, I copied that little book of a response and I'm posting it here. It's a little scrambled up (it was a facebook post so these things happen, okay?). I think it will still get the point across as to why I tell people that if I pulled the good parts of Endgame, I could make a really great thirty minute Avengers movie.

The post went as follows:

-Thor’s characterization was a three hour long fat joke. Thor had the most character growth out of anyone in Infinity War. His part was fantastic. Then they turned around and made everything about it completely idiotic. Thor has lived over a thousand years. He’s lost battles and lost countless, countless people before. Infinity War wasn’t the first time he made a mistake in battle that cost someone their life. He lost his entire family and almost all of friends and none of that turned him into lazy, sloppy, unshowered, fat Thor. I refuse to believe this time would magically break him. Character annihilation.

Banner has hated the Hulk for the entirety of Hulk’s existence. He’s talked about how exposed and vulnerable it makes him feel. He’s always been a quiet, shy, reclusive, and work-focused kind of guy. Now magically, he’s happy being Hulk 24/7, dabs, and takes selfies with kids? He’s hanging out in public as Hulk and drawing attention to himself? Sorry. Refuse to believe it. I know Professor Hulk is from the comics. It seems stupid and forced there too. I’m not of the opinion that just because something is found in comics that it’s necessarily a good thing. I’ve read plenty of bad comics as I’m sure any decent comic reader has.

-Tony isn’t awful. I actually think he’s done pretty well. No complaints.

-However, Pepper is awful. And it makes sense now that they’ve released the info that Gwyneth Paltrow just made up a lot of her own lines. She doesn’t know the character despite having played her for a decade. Pepper is always super cautious and she is constantly on Tony’s case about his heroic ventures, etc. Therefore, I find it incredibly hard to believe that she let him go without a fight after he “solved time travel.” I also find it absolutely impossible that she sits beside him as he’s dying and is peaceful enough to just tell Tony that he’s okay and he should rest. Per her character for the last decade, she should have been frantic. Of course it wouldn’t have been as sad and poetic an ending, but it would have been much more believable for the character.

-Clint. Meh. I can live with Clint, I think. I don’t love it or hate it. I am glad they reestablished his closeness with Natasha after AoU tried to erase it.

-Natasha. I actually like Natasha’s character in this one. Same as Tony, I think they wrote her without compromising her. Good for them. Even though I hate that they killed her off, I think that the final scene where she fights Clint is SO WELL DONE. (Except her father wasn’t named Ivan. Not even in the MCU. But whatever. Maybe Markus and McFeely know absolutely nothing about Russian names despite giving Natasha’s full name in CA:TWS. I’ll chalk it up to ignorance. Whatever.) HOWEVER, despite liking Natasha’s character and death scene, the death should not have happened. I don’t know if you’re a comic reader, but if you are, you know that the trip happens where you see the bad guy or a random person or whatever do a Bad Thing. Then later in the comic, when the Bad Thing comes into play again and there seems like absolutely no hope, the hero pulls out One Last Magic Trick. The hero manages to do what the previous person could not. And they Save the Day because they are the hero. And the hero is the one designed to give readers hope that we can overcome all odds, etc. It is literally the entire point of superhero stories to tell the stories that “realistic” books never could. We’ll come back to my complaint with Natasha’s death in a moment.

-Scott, Rhodey, Rocket, Carol were all fine. No complaints. But Okoye.

They made it out in promo that Okoye was going to have a much more significant part. She was barely in the thing. And I think it was a very missed opportunity. We saw T’Challa turn to dust. And we were told Shuri did (although, I would have paid much bigger money to see her alive and operating as The Black Panther. She’s assumed that mantle in the comics before so definitely not out of the realm of possibility.) I wanted them to show us what Wakanda would look like with half its population dusted and its ruler gone. Does M’Baku rule? What do Okoye and the Dora Milaje look like now without their King and who do they protect/defend? They had a great opportunity to show us how the world was faring after five years post-Snap, especially a place like Wakanda that rarely suffers any devastations due to their tech. Now without that protection, how are they handling the aftermath? Enormous missed opportunity.

-Steve. On my god. Where do I even start? Going into Endgame, Steve Rogers had the BEST story arc of anyone in the MCU. But here is where Marvel really shot themselves in the foot. They let the opinions of fans after Civil War severely alter their original plans for this film. (That’s a fact that’s been admitted by former Marvel employees. I didn’t make that up.). After Civil War came out, there were two strong opinions being voiced. 1) Fans who didn’t know the comics didn’t understand Sharon being there and didn’t like her quickly becoming Steve’s love interest. 2) Fans saw the always-present and ever-growing bond between Steve and Bucky and got bolder about their campaign that Steve and Bucky were a couple. Doesn’t matter if you’re for that or not. The fact of the matter is that the idea of them as a couple has A BIG FOLLOWING. I don’t think people were really pushing to see it become a real thing on screen or anything, but the execs at Marvel suddenly did this thing where they all quickly shouted “NO HOMO” really loudly and promptly dropped Bucky from as many scenes as possible. They admitted to creating distance between Steve and Bucky for this reason. And because Steve and Sharon didn’t get the reaction they wanted, they had Steve go back and get back with Peggy.

But let’s recap here and see if any of that makes sense for Steve Rogers.

—He and Bucky were “inseparable on both playground and battlefield.”

—He literally broke the law and went behind enemy lines against orders just in case he had even the slightest chance of finding and saving Bucky from a Hydra base. He didn’t even know if Bucky was still alive.

—He added Bucky to his elite team and they fought side by side until Bucky’s “death.” When Bucky “died,” Steve went from saying, “I don’t want to kill anyone. I don’t like bullies” to saying, “I’m not going to stop until all of Hydra is dead or captured.”

—Years later, when he realized Bucky was still alive, he literally stopped mid-fight and dropped all defenses. Later in the same film (on the helicarrier), he refuses to even fight Bucky. He drops his shield and was going to very willingly let Bucky kill him rather than fight him.

— When the Accords become a thing, Steve defied his own friends and 117 countries to get Bucky to safety. And then continues defying them with Bucky at his side because he is determined that Bucky deserves due process and a lawyer and help, not imprisonment.

— He helps Bucky get somewhere safe to hide and recover and visits him there. (Russos said they even discussed showing that Steve and Bucky were in regular contact between CW and IW.)

—He fights the Battle of Wakanda with Bucky and then gets to see him disintegrate right in front of him. It’s built up to be a very big moment. Bucky collapses into nothingness and Steve sits there touching Bucky’s dust remnants and with tears in his eyes. “Oh, God.”

—Then, magically comes Endgame and Steve is in a support group for people lost in the Snap and he’s grieving over PEGGY??? HE NEVER EVEN WENT ON A DATE WITH PEGGY. NOT ONE DATE. He kissed her ONE TIME very briefly 75+ years ago! HOW CAN HE BE SO SURE THEY WERE SOULMATES?! This is just awful writing.

— Then when everyone is brought back through the portals, Steve doesn’t even look for Bucky to make sure he’s there. They fight far away from one another. They never acknowledge the other one. These men have literally looked at each other before thinking that would be the last face they ever saw and then at the Battle to End All Things, they don’t even glance around to see if the other is present.

— Steve literally barely says goodbye to Bucky. He fought and was willing to die for the man, but now he is in such a rush to get back to that one girl he kissed that one time that he forsakes the people he should care about. (Sebastian Stan says he questioned this to the Russos and was actually told to just imagine Steve and Bucky must have talked it over offscreen and Sebastian tried to fight it, but was shot down.)

— Steve jumps in a time machine and goes back to live with his supposed soulmate thus creating an alternate timeline.

I have a real problem with this. A man who has been selfless his entire life chose to go and be selfish for 75+ years instead of helping anyone. This man lives to fight injustices and we are supposed to forget that? In order to believe that he went back to a woman he didn’t know that well and who already had a husband/children. CA:TWS showed that she had lived a happy life. She told him she only regretted that he didn’t get to live his. She didn’t regret them not getting to spend theirs together. And he didn’t seem to either. He was actively moving forward with his life. Thus the reason for Sharon.

Anyway, his entire story arc which is based around him being partners with Bucky and him being selfless got absolutely destroyed when he went back in the time machine and just ran away from everything he had built.

Which seems more likely? That everything in the three Cap films and IW was wrong about his character? Or that Endgame just slapped a big “No Homo” sticker on the script and did whatever they could possibly do to make sure fans could not say that Steve and Bucky were a thing?

Furthermore, I have no problem with Sam becoming the next Cap. I have a big problem with them doing it if the reason was to further the sever the ties between Steve and Bucky.

-And the Russos said that Bucky couldn’t be Cap because his mind had been compromised and that he couldn’t be trusted with a weapon. Which means that Bucky’s whole recovery story was what? A lie? They established that Bucky was really a great guy and not a terrible terrorist. And they said Shuri fixed his mind. And we still can’t trust the guy with the shield?

So either Shuri failed dramatically even though we saw her talent and progress with him in Black Panther and IW, Bucky is now magically “too broken,” or the writers and directors are stupid. Your call, I guess.

They literally foreshadowed Bucky!Cap in all three Cap films. Bucky handles the shield in ALL THREE FILMS. But now he can’t be trusted with a weapon? Now he’s dangerous? He literally fought the battle of Wakanda with knives and an assault rifle. The shield is a DEFENSE weapon. So this excuse is the flimsiest argument ever and says horrible things about putting trust/faith in people after they’ve been victims and recovered from trauma. Gross.

-At least they FINALLY got Scarlet Witch right. I’ve been waiting to see my favorite Avenger done right for years. No complaints here except it took them long enough.

-Let’s not even discuss how their time travel ideas and theories are a MESS. Plot holes everywhere. (Steve would have created a new time line by going back. Did he just magically put the aether back in Jane? Did he have to kick Red Skull’s ass again on Vormir because I can’t imagine he would just stand by idly. This stuff would take me too long to even add onto here.)

-But back to Natasha. If it’s a “soul for a soul,” then when Steve returned the soul stone, he should have gotten Natasha back. Apparently a lot of fans saw this plot hole because they asked the Russos about it and the response they seriously got was something to the idea of, “No, you can’t do that. It doesn’t work that way.” Which WHY NOT? (Apparently because of poor writing.)

-Also not bitter (yeah right) that Tony got this big deal send off and everyone forgot about Natasha half an hour after she died. Shouldn’t the big send off at the end have been for both of them?!?! Would that have been SO hard?!

-Should I even discuss the fact that for some stupid reason Steve goes back in time and the serum stops working? Why does he age? Thor establishes in AoU that he doesn’t think Steve is mortal. And Peggy says in CA:TFA that Steve’s cells regenerate at four times the rate of average human cells. So he should still be fairly young even if he went back to the 40s. He shouldn’t start to age like a regular human just because he time traveled. He didn’t travel back to before he got the serum. I literally said, “No,” angrily the second they showed the back of Steve when he was sitting on that bench at the end. The other people in the theater turned to look at me and I was already pissed as hell and the movie wasn’t even over yet.

-Nebula having to kill her last self just seemed sloppy and cliche. I wasn’t impressed. That character had been through hell. She is the one who really turns the tides in in the Infinity Saga comics so for her to get such poor treatment in the film? SHE should have been the one to kill Thanos. I know what Thor said, but Nebula literally has a lifetime of torture to make up for and she would have gotten some small consolation in avenging the death of her sister. GUH. THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY. SHE DESERVED THIS.

-So we really just backtracked and retconned Gamora’s whole story like that, huh? I’m sure James Gunn is thrilled. (I’m joking. I’d be annoyed to high heavens if I were him.) Gunn had literally written this character’s story arc and progression and the Russos and Markus/McFeely took over and then literally wrote the story equivalent of “and then they all died” with Gamora’s story. Such a jerk move and I sincerely hope Gunn finds a way to make GotG Vol 3 work out really well despite this.

I’m sure there’s more I’m unhappy with, but you get my point. I had high hopes for this film and they did not deliver.

It’s been months and I am still so immensely disappointed in Endgame. I expected the people who had written such great films in the past to deliver with another great film and they did not.

It wasn’t a completely awful film though. I thought they did a really good job with Doctor Strange and Wanda (finally!). And I loved Steve lifting Mjölnir! Carol’s short hair made me hot and bothered. So the film had a few perks.

I have friends who liked the film until I started pointing out its flaws. Sorry, not sorry. I'm glad Marvel broke box office records, but I'm not going to lie to anyone and say it was with a great film.

They are ----- And look, I never posted it on my blog because the rant ends there mid sentence and was never completed, but I think it’s safe to say I’m not happy. That great cinematic masterpiece is a mockery of good character arcs. Anyone is welcome to try, but I’m unlikely to change my mind.

ETA: Since writing this, I have found multiple things about Tony’s character that upset me too.

#marvel #avengers #endgame #personal #rant #social media #steve rogers #bucky barnes #thor odinson #natasha romanoff #tony stark #shuri

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crimes-and-gelato · 5 years ago

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Title: Six Candles Pairing: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warning: Major Character Death ** ** A/N: The title is from FM Static’s SIX CANDLES. That Netflix joke isn’t mine. This is all angst, with a bit of sweet, but no happy ending. ** **

“The hardest thing to do when you go back underwater, is talk about what the sky was like.” - Iain Thomas

** ** **

His mother used to tell him that anything is possible for him, despite the poverty and the on-going war. And Bucky believed it, even when he lost most of his memories, he can’t forget that simple word of wisdom. But years later — many, many years later — with HYDRA in-between, and waking up into the 21st century, he realised that his mother forgot to caution him about time, how he doesn’t have forever to do everything he wishes.

And as he stares into the facility’s garden, with the white daffodils and calla lilies blooming to signal spring, he regrets not learning of the latter adage. There’s nothing he can do about it anymore, except mourn, and wait for the day that he no longer won’t. Not that he thinks such a day will come for him to stop hurting, but they did say he will. They wouldn’t tell him when because it’s different for other people, which means he would never heal.

If he’s really honest, he wishes never to if it means forgetting; he’s done it a whole lot at the hands of HYDRA and he doesn’t recommend it.

He’d rather hurt and remember, than forget and heal. A heart that hurts is a heart that’s been loved, right? And he was loved, same as he love back in return. He even got more than he deserved.

** ** **

6 years ago…

Everything about this new century takes him aback, but nothing like how one Tony Stark spins his head dizzy with pop culture references on every conversations, the silly nicknames, the personality that could fill a room, the snark and fast wit, the wicked sense of humour, the thousand-word-per-minute, the craziest ideas, that ass and that genius brain, and so many more he can’t even list because it’s Tony. The man seems to bring something new and surprising every time Bucky sees him. The resident engineer is just as fascinating as the man is attractive.

Three months into his slow recovery and Bucky starts to harbour a crush for the man. Two weeks after that insane revelation, he finds himself falling for Tony as the genius hums him a lullaby that two a.m. they found themselves in the common room couch: him plague by nightmares, and Tony coming up from one of his work binges.

They talked for a while and next thing you know, he’s got a soft, sleepy Tony who’s using his metal arm as an impromptu teddy bear, mumbling about his latest designs for Peter’s web shooters. He doesn’t remember how they went from that topic to Tony humming a lullaby for him because according to the man Bucky needs more sleep, as if he’s the one to say, the hypocrite.

And he should have woken Tony up and told him to sleep on his own bed. But Bucky’s selfish enough to want this quiet and rare moments with this selfless man, who’s never shown him anything but kindness.

Right after that, they have their usual routine of two a.m. rendezvous talking about random stuff, what they did that day, what their plans for the next day. Or if words are hard to mutter on the worst of nights, they watch a movie or Tony watches Bucky bakes in the kitchen because that’s currently his hobby. The planned steps and concise measuring of ingredients calms him. He feels like he’s in control, and at the same time he can tell where his limits are. It’s comforting.

But the best part of all the nights despite his constant nightmares is that he’s always around Tony; and to his own disbelief, the genius hasn’t been tired of him yet. For sure the billionaire has got better things to do than spend important time with a recovering POW.

And if he only bakes Tony’s favourites or whatever strikes the engineer’s fancy, no one had mind so far.

** ** **

5 years ago…

‘So… Tony, huh?’ Steve’s superstitiously glancing at him over the morning paper. There’s so much left unsaid in that one sentence alone.

‘Shouldn’t you be happy for me?’ Bucky doesn’t want to deny what he’s sure Steve knows already. He’s been pretty obvious that he likes Tony, the whole team knows about it, even Fury.

Him and Tony have not been subtle with their flirting, though it hasn’t escalated into more. He’s actually terrified to dig deeper into their relationship because he might have read it all wrong, and the engineer sees him only as a friend, whom he casually winks at and cuddles with and share lingering touches with, and so much more things that Bucky’s quite sure friends don’t do to each other except when there’s something more than platonic feelings involve.

Steve puts down his paper prop, different kinds of emotions playing across his face. The shock was a surprise though since Bucky thought that the reason why his best friend hasn’t spoken about this thing between him and Tony is because Steve was okay with it.

‘Oh, Buck,’ the blond says softly, as if he’s scared a level louder would break Bucky.

** ** **

4 years ago…

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he demands, voice loud but cracking. There’s a lot of things inside his chest that he cannot name, that makes his whole body shake as if any minute now he’s going to explode. He’s not sure if it’s the serum that’s allowing him to stand on his two feet when he feels like sinking on the floor from the gravity of the grief that pulls him down.

Tony doesn’t look different from him, all tense and trembling, only that his grief isn’t crippling; his looks like stubborn acceptance, which is worse because Bucky wants him to fight. He can’t bare the genius giving up, it means that Tony’s explored every angle, tried everything, and lost.

It means there’s not even a shade of hope left. And that empties him of everything, leaving only a numbing pain makes him want to lash out just to feel something else other than the ache that’s making a home inside his bones.

‘You were never going to tell me, were you?’ The accusation carries truth when he sees the engineer wince. And that hurts as well because how many times were he always the one in the dark? Always unaware of the bigger picture.

Seven decades being HYDRA’s mindless murder-puppet still haunts him, so he tries very hard not to be the oblivious by-stander. But here he is again: not knowing, and not being able to do anything as the man he loves marches to his own demise.

‘I’m sorry, James.’ There’s that resignation again that’s too painful to hear. ‘I was selfish…’ Tony closes the physical space between them, staying only a foot away but sounding long gone. ‘I didn’t know it would come to this.’

How many have known of Tony’s situation? Steve for sure, that’s why his best friend have discouraged him. Everyone in the team knows, he guesses. Except him.

Bucky clutches to the genius’ arm with his flesh one, desperately convincing himself that Tony’s still there — alive and breathing — otherwise, he’ll break on the floor, and he doesn’t know if he can manage to salvage himself if that happens. He was able to piece himself back before, after HYDRA took away his humanity and almost everything that he is. But he did that with the help of his friends, and mostly Tony. Now, he’s not so sure he can do it again. Not without his guiding light that overflows with kindness that glued Bucky once more into a person.

His cheeks start to wet again, and he tightens his grip on the engineer, afraid he might disappear. ‘It’s, It’s, It’s n-not real… You c-can’t… I-I-I—’

‘You’re going to be okay.’ Tony’s free hand squeezes Bucky’s flesh one. ‘You just need to let go.’

That only tightens his hold on the other man. Bucky’s tired of letting go, he’s done nothing but let go: of his past, of his hurt, of his guilt. Not this time. He can’t. He can’t, because if he does, he’s going to drown completely.

** ** **

3 years ago…

Day by day the light in those brown eyes slowly dims. Everyone pretends not to see, instead the rest of them tries to save what they can of that fading brightness, while silently praying for a miracle.

Bucky on the other hand, being the weak man that he is stays away because Tony told him so. Maybe if he’s selfish enough, he would cling to the man while there’s still time. But he wants to respect the engineer’s wishes even if it hurts.

He misses their banter and talks. It’s like Tony’s not dead yet but he’s gone from Bucky’s life already. And no one has told him how painful it is to mourn for someone who’s still alive.

But like everyone else, he’s only human and will have a breaking point. That happened during a mission when a building fell down on Tony as he tries to save civilians trapped inside the infrastructure.

Thanks to the Iron Man armour Tony survived a crushed that would have killed a normal man. And Bucky can still pinpoint the second that his heart stopped beating when he saw the debris burying the love of his life alive.

‘Hey, snowflake,’ Tony greets once he’s able to regain consciousness after being unearthed from the ruins. ‘Did you kiss me back to life?’ There’s a pained smile on his lips that gives away the magnitude of his injuries, and almost near-death experience.

The EMTs on their way. Tony doesn’t look too bad, maybe a concussion, or a broken rib or two. But alive. Breathing.

Anger, relief, and worry mixes in his chest as he feels the tears soak his cheeks again. He’s probably going to murder this idiot, self-sacrificing superhero for always making him cry, which definitely hurts his reputation. He’s the Winter Soldier for crying out loud, a cold-hearted assassin whose kill counts is ninety-nine percent successful.

‘I can’t do this anymore, doll,’ he tells the genius, trying not to break apart because Tony’s still alive. Breathing.

‘Uhmm… maybe it’s the concussion, honey, but I’m confuse.’ Despite almost dying, Tony’s got a time to look bewildered. ‘You didn’t want to save me?’

Bucky shakes his head. ‘Not that, idiot.’

Tony scowls at him, offended.

‘I can’t stay away, anymore,’ he explains, metal hand carefully cupping Tony’s cheek. ‘I love you… and I can’t stay away. Not again… Never again.’

A flash of pain as the scowl deepens. ‘That’s not good for you.’

‘You don’t know that,’ he defends. ‘I’ve made up my mind,’ thumb brushing softly on warm skin, because Tony’s alive, ‘I love you… just as how planet Earth is blue.’ He leans his forehead on Tony’s. ‘And there’s nothing I can do.’

** ** **

2 years ago…

‘Hi, kid,’ Tony greets Peter on the phone.

‘Oh… Mi-Mister Stark… H-hi, Mr. Stark.’ Bucky can hear the fifteen year old stammers, thanks to the serum.

Tony smiles fondly. ‘I’ve got you Netflix like you asked.’

‘Thanks, Mr. Stark.’ The soldier can hear the smile over the phone. ‘Now, I don’t have to share Ned’s account, ‘cos I’ll have my own.’

‘Account?’

Oh, no. Bucky saw this coming.

‘Yeah. The Netflix account that you got me,’ Peter explains.

Tony turns to him, eyes wide. And Bucky can’t help the chuckle that escapes him.

The long pause caught Peter’s attention. ‘What kind of Netflix did you exactly get me, Mr. Stark?’

He can see Tony swallowing, comically.

‘I’ll call you back again tomorrow, Pete.’ He immediately turns off the call, cutting the boy off.

Bucky lets go of a laugh as soon as the call was over. He warned Tony about this, but the genius claimed that he knows Peter more, and what the teen needs.

‘Stop laughing,’ the engineer whines. ‘We need to do something before Pepper finds out. She’s going to have my head on a silver platter.’

‘You always take it ten-folds above standards, doll,’ Bucky says.

‘Well, excuse me for caring too much.’ The other brunet pouts, crosses his arms over his chest, leaning away from Bucky on the couch, where they’ve situated.

‘And it’s one of your best qualities, kotenok,’ he amends, pulling the man into him so they can cuddle again. He places a kiss on top of short, curly hair to placate the man some more. ‘You’ve got a big heart.’

He feels Tony breathes him in, the exhale warming Bucky’s expose neck.

‘I wanted Peter taken care of,’ Tony explains, the ‘before I’m gone’ left unsaid.

He can’t help but pull Tony closer because that topic will always trigger his instinct to protect the man. Maybe if he holds the genius a little tighter the curse won’t take the brunet away. It’s also a coping mechanism for him to feel Tony’s warmth and remind himself that he’s still alive. Safe and alive. Breathing.

There’s a lot of weird shit that happened to him, and after meeting aliens he was sure he’s going to be ready for anything. But not this supernatural curse. The one that the Stark family had passed down for generations . Some long ago ancestor was cursed by a witch, Tony explains, to make them Starks humble and do more good with their lives now that it’s going to be short. It’s a killer disease, the engineer adds. No cure, but the burden will end with him.

Bucky closes his eyes, prays for another miracle, and hoping that this is all nothing but a bad dream. That there’s no curse, there’s no deadline, that they can both live happily ever after.

He likes to believe they have years ahead of them. So many years where they can be together and learn about each other more than they do now, and learn all about the changes they will encounter as they grow old.

His eyes got a little misty thinking how he wants to grow old with Tony, in a house with white picket fence, cliche as it may sound.

‘Marry me,’ he murmurs on Tony’s hair.

‘What?’ The man stiffens. He slowly looks up at Bucky, eyes doubtful and searching.

‘Do you want to?’ he asks, self-conscious all of the sudden because he didn’t expect to propose. But he doesn’t regret it either. His only regret is that he didn’t do it in a more romantic way like getting down in one knee, surrounded by rose petals and fifty candles. Tony deserves something like that. ‘Because I want to marry you… And I know it would sound old school, but I would like to call you husband and sign all those legal documents that proves you are mine to love and cherish and take care. I want to celebrate us with our friends and families. I want an anniversary, a special date that we choose where I can have perfect excuse to spoil you rotten.

‘And maybe for you to take my last name, or I can take your last name,’ he continues. ‘I don’t care which one, as long as we are intertwined together in all the ways that matter. And a wedding band on the fourth finger as we say that cliche vow of loving each other forever, because we will… and I want that.’

‘Okay,’ Tony answers, voice a little wet and eyes watering as well.

It catapults Bucky’s heart to the moon with happiness because the man he loves said yes. And maybe his vision starts to cloud as well as he leans down to kiss Tony softly, then fiercely because he’s so happy he can’t contain it. So, he pours it all in the kiss, which Tony replies back just as enthusiastic.

** ** **

1 year ago…

‘Hey, honey.’ A clear of throat.

‘Hi, doll,’ he greets back cheerfully, whisking the egg yolk and sugar. He’s making blueberry cheesecake — Tony’s favourite — for their late first year anniversary celebration because his husband and Steve went to Siberia for recon. ‘I miss you.’

‘I’ll be home soon.’ An ugly cough.

‘Are you okay, doll? You don’t sound so good.’ He stops whisking, worry creeping under his skin. Something is wrong, he doesn’t know what but he can feel it.

‘I’m fine,’ Tony assures, a bit breathless. ‘Just a bit cold.’ A pained inhale, then a series of wet coughs.

‘Tony?’ Panic sips into his voice, cradling the phone a little too tight. It’s a good thing this custom made Starkphone don’t easily break against super soldier strength. ‘Tony?’

‘Still here, babe,’ he says through gritted teeth. ‘The cold here’s a killer.’ His laugh is a little shaky. Another coughing fit. ‘Hey, James? Don’t miss me too much, okay?’

A pained whimper escapes his lips, followed by an ugly sob as his legs give out under him. He closes his eyes as the tears continue to flow freely. He wishes that his intuition is wrong, because this can’t be it.

‘I gotta go for now,’ Tony whispers. ‘I love you.’

Bucky feels cold all over, and he had always hated the cold.

** ** **

1 year later…

‘Peter says hello, by the way,’ he tells Rhodey. ‘Sometimes Steve still acts like it was his fault even when I tell him it isn’t.’

‘Him and Tony are two peas in a pod,’ the man replies. ‘Both stubborn and so easy to self-blame.’ He smiles fondly but it doesn’t reach his eyes. ‘And you? How are you holding up?’

Bucky shrugs, and avoids Rhodey’s probing eyes. These days he’s been pretending really hard that he’s okay. Sometimes he succeeds for awhile, then the half empty bed at night slams him back to reality. So now, he sleeps on the couch.

‘I wasn’t ready,’ he confesses. ‘We all weren’t, I guess.’

The man nods. ‘We all thought it was going to be that curse of a disease, he talks about.’ He laughs again, but without humour and it sounds a little wet as well. ‘But in a true Tony fashion he changed his fate.’

They don’t point out that the ending is the same, even when the means was different than what was originally planned. The witch might have given a time limit, but the Starks were not safe even before their time was up.

Unconsciously, he reaches for the wedding band danging on his neck. It’s cold as always, a total opposite of how warm Tony was both physically and metaphorically. But it’s there, evidence of a life Bucky had for awhile. An amazing once upon a time, with a tragic ending.

FIN. AO3

#winteriron #bucky x tony #tony stark #bucky barnes #writing prompt 2019 #fanfic

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askmerriauthor · 5 years ago

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Pokemon SwSh Thoughts - Post Game

So I’ve finished Pokemon Sword’s primary content. All that’s left is to finish up the PokeDex and drive myself insane trying to whip up all the variations of Alcremie. That, and delaying buying an online subscription for as long as possible before I bother with trading to get the other game’s exclusives. Here’s some thoughts on the game after the fact:

Pokemon SwSh really needed to come out in late 2020, period. I’ve enjoyed the game so far, but I’ve played it for about a week without putting in too much time/effort grinding and I’ve already done pretty much everything there is to do. I had my Starter leveled up to 100 before I even left the Wild Area for the very first time. The pacing and content depth of this game are pretty much non-existent, whereas the majority of the effort has clearly been put toward refining the competitive combat development. That’s great for those players who really like the battle system, but not so much for those of us who like story and broader gameplay elements.

Pro - Streamlined Gameplay One thing I’ve wanted in Pokemon for ages has been the ability to skip tutorials. I understand the necessity of having them, as every game that comes out is going to be some player’s first and their presence is for that player. But at least having the option to skip them for us old hats would be nice. SwSh does that! I was delighted to discover that the game allows you to bypass tutorials with a simple yes/no prompt when a new element is introduced. How to catch Pokemon, type match-ups, how to heal at Pokemon Centers, and so forth - all the stuff previous games led us through by the nose has been made optional this time around.

I’ve seen some people saying that this game holds the player’s hand too much as it leads us from one gameplay element to the next and doesn’t let us progress at our own leisure. To some degree this is true, but it’s far less egregious than in previous games, such as SuMo. There’s yet to be a good balance between giving the player free reign and giving them enough guidance to ensure we never feel lost, but this has been an inoffensive example as far as I’m concerned. The game does end up feeling rather railroaded, but I don’t necessarily consider that a fault of hand-holding. I’ll get to this matter later on.

Pro - The Style Galar is a very pretty region and the game makes good use of the Switch’s higher capacity to produce excellent backdrops for the player to explore. Many of the Pokemon have charming animations (Falinks is my favorite on this respect). The towns are all really well-designed in terms of visuals, especially compared to the bare-bones looks of older generations. I feel like there could have been more, but what we got is still great.

Pro - Implications in Lore Those of you who know me know how much I love lore and world building. Pokemon, as a franchise, is ripe with opportunity to examine its lore to the most tiny and obscure detail, so any new addition to the franchise is welcome on that front. Galar has some pretty fascinating nuggets to contribute.

I love that the League in Galar, as well as competitive Pokemon Training in general, is treated like a career sport. In specific, I love that this view and practice is exclusive to Galar - I wouldn’t like it at all if the entire franchise shifted to this angle, but it works great for a one-off region. I like that Kabu specifically relocated himself from Hoenn to join the sports league as it doesn’t exist in his home region. The Champion being a sort of major celebrity/superhero, the way Gym Leaders can recruit proteges or even inheritors of their rank from among contenders, the sort of clique all the Gym Leaders have with one another - it’s a really neat dynamic. I also like the notion that actually completing the Gym Challenge isn’t something common and most Trainers who try rarely make it even halfway through. That’s an interesting contrast to other regions where collecting Gym Badges seems almost as a given and the League itself is considered the real challenge, or where the whole endeavor is designed to be finished as a matter of course, like in Alola.

There’s also some really neat additions to the overall lore brought in from the Pokemon Masters mobile game. While its place in canon is questionable, it does specifically mention Galar in a few places. The idea that Pokemon who do not appear in the current Dex are banned from Galar by customs (perhaps identified as potentially dangerous/invasive species) is an interesting one. So is the claim that Iris - the Champion of Unova in BW2 - is a cousin of Leon and Hop. I love it when there are connections amid titles like that as it really helps build a more unified setting.

-Edit-: Darn, apparently those screenshots were fakes. Strike that positive from the list, I suppose.

Mixed Pro/Con - The Availability of Pokemon and the Wild Area I’m not talking about Dexit - I have my own thoughts on that explained elsewhere and frankly don’t think it’s going to end up as bad as everyone is fretting over in the long run. No, in this particular case I’m focused on the availability of Pokemon that are in the game itself.

To put it simply... it’s too easy. I know that filling out the PokeDex isn’t supposed to be a huge challenge, but I’ve gotten the majority of it done - evolved forms, item-reliant forms, gender/size/color variations included - with pretty much no effort whatsoever. I like the idea of the Wild Area in principle but what it ends up being in practice is lacking. It’s too easy to just hoover up Pokemon at a breakneck pace, which leads to other zones and the Wild Area itself becoming pretty much immediately obsolete. I have no need to return to them once I’ve gotten everything I need and there’s not enough general content to urge me to visit again.

The Wild Area itself is a big open sandbox that you can roam around in, which is nice compared to more linear zones in past games. Galar has its railroad routes, but they’re brief (aside from the obligatory overlong water route, which even then is still quite a lot smaller than other regions’ have been). However, it’s just that - a big open sandbox. You can wander through it very easily and even traipse into the “high level” zones without fear because you can see all the Pokemon coming and give them a wide berth to avoid them. There aren’t any obstacles or challenges within the Wild Area itself, and the game makes it supremely easy to find Pokemon even under specific weather/time conditions, which I feel is a missed opportunity. I would have rather the Wild Area been MUCH bigger and more involved, full of places to explore and puzzles to solve. Similarly, I would rather that Pokemon were more difficult to come by as well - that a greater deal of effort would have been put toward tracking and discovering certain harder-to-find Pokemon, with more in-game detective work to find your prize.

Mixed Pro/Con - The Characters The ensemble cast of new Gym Leaders are great - I enjoy the majority of them and frankly want more interactions, more encounters, just more in general. That’s sort of the problem though - I want more. The game itself criminally under-utilizes these characters, especially compared to how much more involved and explored Gym Leaders have been in recent games. There is precious little content using the Gym Leaders here in Galar as it stands and I constantly found myself wanting them to hang out longer and have the chance to learn more about them. Their League Cards are a neat little addition full of interesting tidbits about their histories, natures, and relationships with each other, but I would MUCH rather have gotten to see all that play out in the game itself rather than read it as a flavor blurb.

On the con side of this, however, is the fact that all of the characters are extremely one-dimensional. We’ve been seeing a steady increase in the depth and development of supporting characters in the games since BW onward, with SuMo arguably having the most to date. The overall characterization in SwSh is incredibly lacking by comparison as we don’t get nearly enough time to be with the cast, nor is the cast given the chance to present more than one note per. Nobody has any sort of emotional growth or development. The closest thing to a character arc in the game is Hop’s acceptance of the idea that he’s not going to be the Champion, but it doesn’t have anywhere near as much punch as it could and is over in the blink of an eye compared to how he spends THE ENTIRE GAME repeating the same “I’m gonna be the Champion/Hokage/Pirate King!” spiel every time he’s on screen.

Con - Dynamaxing and Max Raid Battles I’m not really on board with the whole “Mega-Evolution is best! No more gimmicks!” train because that’s just silly to me. Every game has its gimmick and the way Pokemon gradually picks up tricks and traits from its past versions to consolidate into newer titles is one of its strengths. That said, Dynamaxing is worthless and a pointless addition to the game, both in presentation and practice.

The visual of a Pokemon going kaiju is a neat concept and one I was initially intrigued by, but in practice it falls flat because it’s as thin as cardboard. It’s just Mega-Evolution and Z-Moves smooshed together with an additional 3 round time limit tacked on. All it functionally does is buff your Pokemon’s HP pool and add additional weather/status effects to certain attacks, but in some cases the Dynamax versions of attacks are actually weaker/less useful than their base form. In Gym Battles all the way through the final League fight with Leon, I didn’t bother with Dynamaxing because my Pokemon were strong enough to not need it. I could one-shot Dynamaxed Pokemon with ease using a non-Dynamaxed Pokemon and that really shows a flaw in the design if ever there was one. Dynamaxing doesn’t add or improve anything vital to gameplay - it’s just fluff.

Max Raid Battles as found in the Wild Area are even worse. For those of you who don’t know, these are instanced battles against a Dynamaxed/Gigantamaxed wild Pokemon where you team up with three other players/NPCs. If you win, you get a bunch of useful items and have the chance to catch the wild Pokemon as well, which is the only way you can get certain Gigantamax-capable Pokemon reliably.

The issue with these Max Raid Battles is that they’re an absolute slog. In the early stages of the game they’re all super easy to the point that I could solo them and thus gathered mountains of EXP-boosting candies, which let me overlevel my Pokemon beyond reason. Since the whole “your Pokemon is too high level and won’t listen to you” thing apparently doesn’t apply to Starters and special Event Pokemon, I was able to max-level and run rampant across all opposition with my Starter and my special “thanks for buying early” Meowth. HOWEVER. The difficulty scale of the Max Raid Battles increases with your game progress, so by the time I finished the game and went back into the Wild Area, the Max Raid Battles’ difficulty had ramped up. That’s an okay compromise on its face, but the manner in which the difficulty has increased is poor game design. The battles aren’t any harder, they just take longer - the wild Pokemon has more HP, tosses up a few rounds of shields to soak damage at the start and again halfway through the fight, and purges stat boosts from the player and party throughout the battle. It just makes the fights a pain in the ass to get through rather than making them more challenging or fun, and it’s gotten to the point that I don’t even bother with them anymore. They’re just not worth the trouble, not even for the sake of trying to farm EXP candies because, at this point in the game, all Pokemon in the Wild Area scale up to level 60+ and thus are perfectly serviceable as EXP farming fodder themselves.

On a lore side of things, Dynamaxing is really confusing. There’s the whole visual aspect of the Pokemon growing to giant sizes and sometimes changing their appearances, and there’s these massive arenas built to facilitate the whole thing. But the game itself goes out of its way to impress the fact that the Pokemon aren’t actually getting bigger. They just appear to grow in size and haven’t actually physically changed themselves so Dynamaxing is more like a giant hard light holographic projection than anything else? It’s just a really weird design choice to have made and I don’t understand why it was included.

Con - The Writing So, writing is very important to me. It’s literally been my job for the past decade with various game studios. I don’t consider myself any sort of literary snob as I feel there’s a place for schlock right alongside masterpieces - they all serve a specific purpose and fulfill a particular hunger the reader would like satisfied.

That said, SwSh’s writing is abysmal.

Right on the face, there’s not enough of it. The game is criminally short and light on content, which directly impacts its pacing. Remember earlier when I mentioned that things felt railroaded? That’s because there’s not enough story to rest on - it all flies by as fast as can be, forcing the player along a very narrow and brief chain of events that don’t feel consequential at all. Further, the player has no agency in events whatsoever. It’s not the player’s story - it’s Hop’s story. We’re the supporting role to his journey, shallow as that arc may be. Hop is the one who initiates the events of the game without our input as a character and then we spend the entire game following him around, or being pushed into the next event by other characters who are facilitating Hop. At no point is the player ever given the chance to express their own characterization, motivation, or even opinions. Nearly every two-choice dialogue option that appears boils down to “Yes” or “Slightly More/Less Enthusiastic Yes”, which is a huge downgrade from the genuine negative responses and NPC reactions that were present in SuMo.

In terms of overall plot, SwSh has pretty much the same level of depth and complexity as the original Red/Blue titles, and that is as scathing a criticism in this modern age as I can possibly imagine. The whole story is “run in a circle, collect badges, fight vaguely present villainous threat, fight league.” We are actively forced from one gym fight to the next with no time to breathe, no story-focused events in between, and not even any chance to appreciate the gym, its leader, or even the towns they take place in. It’s one and done - once you’ve got the badge there’s no reason to hang around and the story shuffles us along quickly as can be. I mean that literally in some cases - there are hints of a greater plot at hand with Sonia investigating the history of Galar’s legends and the potential machinations of mega-corporate mogul Chairman Rose. But each time those are broached in game play, the game pushes the player off-screen and says “Well, that’s not something you need to worry about. Go get another badge!” I mean, LITERALLY! There’s a point where The Plot begins to kick in where Pokemon begin to spontaneously Dynamax and cause havoc, which is the narrative queue for the player to become involved and for the story to reveal a new facet. But when that happens, Leon LITERALLY says “leave this to the adults, you just focus on your Gym Challenge” and runs off-screen to handle it himself. It would be a good narrative subversion if it led up to things eventually getting out of hand and the player getting roped into things, or the player having the ability to defy such warnings and interject themselves into danger. But that doesn’t happen - the game just forces us to focus on the Gym Challenge alone and keeps all the actual plot of the game off-screen away from us. This is very poor narrative design and game design alike, and it all comes to nothing because we’re forced to clean up everything in the end anyway by battling the villain and legendaries as per usual.

Though I should also point out that there’s no villain in this game.

But what about Team Yell and Chairman Rose, I hear you ask? They’re not villains, both literally and figuratively respectively. Team Yell never really does anything other than act as brief gate locking elements throughout the game until you finish the Gym you’re at, then they bounce off to the next part of the route they’re set to block. They don’t do anything bad and, as it’s later revealed, they’re actually just a bunch of Spikemuth Gym staffers who are posing as hooligans to support Marnie. They’re literally not villains and, once you beat the Spikemuth Gym, they actually become supporting characters who cheer for the player character and help out against the actual supposed villain of the game.

The actual “villain” of the game is Chairman Rose and his assistant Oleana. However, they’re only villains because the script says they are. They don’t actually do anything bad throughout the entire game nor is there any indication that they have some sort of grand master plan. The most we get is some unusual happenings like small quakes and explosions in the distance, but the game never allows us any chance to investigate - we’re just shoved off toward the next Gym each time. So when Chairman Rose is finally revealed to be the Big Bad, it comes completely out of left field and seems to happen for no reason whatsoever. Further, IT IS FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER. Chairman Rose’s plan and goal is never explained in depth - all we get is the vague indication that he believes that Galar isn’t sustainable and there will be an inevitable energy crisis in about 1,000 years, and somehow his EVIL SCHEME will fix it. But, like, even Leon flat-out says “I understand your concern but you’re being hasty, this doesn’t need to be rushed, chill out for five seconds and let’s figure this out reasonably”. Instead Rose interrupts the Champion match and announces his EVIL SCHEME on global broadcast for literally no good reason. There was no dire immediacy that required him to do it right then and there, or in that manner, but the plot needed to move us along so that’s how it goes.

It really doesn’t help that, prior to all this, there’s absolutely no indication at all that Rose nor Oleana are bad guys. They’re just business folk who appear to have nothing but good intentions and support for Leon, with the other adults of the cast all happily trusting them. There is nothing to make them seem suspicious in practice and they offer no reason to doubt them at all, so them suddenly being the bad guys is just confusing. Further, how the player is first introduced to the concept of them being antagonists is easily the most ridiculous logic jump and overreaction I’ve seen since the old Adam West Batman television show. So get this: after a battle, Leon says he’ll meet Player and Hop for dinner to celebrate. Player and Hop wait for Leon, but he never shows up. Another NPC explains that Leon was called in for a last-minute meeting by Chairman Rose (who is his boss and has made such requests of Leon’s time throughout the game, as I feel is important to point out) and apologizes for having to miss the dinner plans. Simple enough sort of situation, right? The sort of thing that any reasonable person would shrug and say “Well, that sucks but okay, let’s go eat on our own then” to, right? So what happens here instead?

The Player, Hop, Marnie, and her Gym Leader brother GATHER A SMALL MOB AND STORM CHAIRMAN ROSE’S BUSINESS HQ, FIGHTING THEIR WAY THROUGH SECURITY.

I mean, escalation much? We all have smartphones - just send Leon a text, for goodness’ sake. I’m playing through these events constantly going “why the hell are we doing this and why is everyone acting like it’s some sort of dire emergency?”. And do you know what happens when we finally kick down the doors to Chairman Rose’s office? We find Chairman Rose and Leon quietly having a peaceful chat, after which Leon apologizes for having to cancel the dinner plans and we all walk out together like nothing happened. It was just this huge, needless overreaction that has no consequence and that neither Rose nor Leon even bat an eye at. We, as the players, learn absolutely nothing of importance and are back on the Gym Challenge immediately with no functional changes to the narrative.

Like... what was the point of that?! How was that the best option to try and put Chairman Rose and his underlings into the role of antagonists for us to oppose?

So what is Chairman Rose’s EVIL SCHEME anyway? Basically he wants to provide Galar with renewable clean energy which... uh... is bad? Somehow? Apparently he plans to use a Legendary Pokemon called Eternatus - apparently the source of Dynamaxing - which is literally never mentioned at any point in the game except precisely when it’s time to fight/capture it, nor does fighting/capturing it have any impact on the story or setting. You would think that the player being in control of a massive Eldritch horror that has UNLIMITED POWER at its disposal would be something of a sticking point somewhere in the story, but no. Eternatus and Rose’s plan are never mentioned until precisely the time you need to deal with them, and once that’s done they’re both never mentioned again. Done and done all in one. No gradual seeding of information, no hints and clues throughout the game, no development of lore - just wham, bam, thank you ma’am and off we go.

Y’know, call me silly but in a game that has undertones referencing climate change, extinction of animal species, and criticisms against capitalism run amok, is it really a good idea to depict the guy advocating for clean energy to be bad? That feels like a missed mark to me.

The post-game plot, should one bother to call it that, is just inane. It basically boils down to a pair of one-shot baddies who show up and say “Ha ha! We’re rich and that means we’re better than everyone! Watch as we cause trouble for vague reasons, get hoist by our own petard, and then fuck off forever! Byeeeee~!” The post-game is completely pointless and doesn’t add anything of value at all. Which, again, compare to older games like ORAS’ post-game expansion content and it’s nothing but a damn shame.

SwSh’s writing is shallow and limited at best, with one-dimensional characters, no genuine conflict or resolution, terrible pacing, and repetitive elements that boomerang around over and over and over again to the point of annoyance. Compared to what we’ve seen Pokemon achieve in earlier titles like BW, ORAS, and SuMo, it makes it all the more obvious that SwSh was not given ANYWHERE near the time and love it needed in development and is a massive downgrade in that respect.

Con - Lots of Style, No Substance To wrap all this up - I enjoyed playing SwSh as much as I did any other early Pokemon game. I think that, as a first installment on a new system, it’s fine. That’s all - it’s just fine. It’s serviceable as a means of establishing the franchise onto the Switch and completing its move off purely-mobile mediums like the Gameboy and 3DS. It’s pretty to look at and has a superficial level of engagement, but its prettiness and level of content very quickly reveal themselves to be only skin deep. Once you get past the initial gloss there’s really nothing to this game compared to the content, involvement, and writing quality displayed in past titles on lesser-powered systems. The towns are all pretty but there’s nothing to do in any of them aside from a Gym battle - there’s no additional fun to be had in each location, making them little more than set pieces. The characters have initial appeal and potential for more, but the game never explores them at all. There’s room for a bigger narrative and interesting story with the elements presented, but no opportunity to actually see them fleshed out. The Wild Area seems big and involved at first, but as soon as you’ve gone around its loop once or twice you suddenly realize how small and compartmentalized it really is, and it lacks any reason to revisit in the end game. The major game play function - Dynamaxing/Gigantamaxing - is little more than a novelty that is basically irrelevant to gameplay itself and, in an absolutely baffling decision by the folk behind the official competitive scene, is actually somehow banned from being used in competitions? Like, not even “we’ve disabled the Dynamax button in online” but rather “if the competitive Pokemon you’ve spent so much time perfectly constructing has a Gigantamax form, it will not even be allowed access at all, so you better have an identical non-Gigantamax version on hand if you want to play”. So, what exactly is the point of even having Gigantamax Pokemon then?

Everything about SwSh seems half-baked. The ideas are there but they aren’t finished. It should have been given much more development time and, having been in the position of the creative/dev team under demands from the shareholders, I completely sympathize with Game Freak’s devs in all this. SwSh is ultimately a weak product but one with a lot of good ideas that weren’t given the chance to really shine. As such, I’ve got rather high hopes for the next installment to improve on the unfortunately thin foundation SwSh has set. Game Freak’s team has given us some amazing Pokemon games in the past and, assuming they’re given sufficient time and resources to make a title to their satisfaction, I have every confidence they’ll do so again.

#pokemon #pokemon swsh #game review #wall o'text #game freak #thank you game freak #hey nintendo - quit breathing down the dev team's neck and stand up to the shareholders for them #spoilers

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harperfinkles · 5 years ago

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My Ranking Of Every Barbie Movie

A few months ago I finally decided to watch every barbie in order. When I was a kid I loved barbie movies, but I stopped watching them after Princess & The Popstar came out, and I felt like I’ve been missing out ever since.

Here I present to you: My Ranking Of Every Barbie Movie!

Keep in mind that I’m basing this off of my personal enjoyment of each film, and not by how “good” it is. There are many movies here that are ranked high despite being objectively flawed, as well as there are movies ranked low despite being objectively good. My opinions are also subject to change, especially since some of these I’ve only seen once.

36: Barbie & Her Sisters In A Puppy Chase

This entire movie is a mess. Like most of the barbie & her sisters movies there’s no real plot. The events of this movie only happen because of bad luck, which is never a good way to kick off your movie. I also find barbie to be completely OOC in this movie. Her disorganization and lack of planning is something that isn’t present in any of the sisters movies. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy movies that humanize barbie and give her more flaws but there are way more creative ways to do it. It doesn’t help that her insistence to “keep positive!!!” and “be optimistic :)))” just robs this movie of any meaningful message.

Then after the frustrating mess that is the puppy chase itself, Chelsey STILL wins her dance competition despite the fact that barbie didn’t let her practice, and she cheated by adding her sisters and the horses to the dance. It’s unbelievably stupid. I don’t know how the writers of this movie thought we would buy into that. I’m probably never going to watch this movie again.

35: Barbie Presents Thumbelina

The main reason I don’t like this movie is because of the style of the Twillerbees. Unlike Mariposa (the only other movie that doesn’t have a barbie protagonist) their faces look inhuman in a way that makes it hard to relate to them. I would’ve much preferred if Thumbelina had just gotten the normal barbie face, just her body becoming smaller. Besides that I think the girl whose name I can’t remember is annoying, and I didn’t like Thumbelina’s plan to get on her good side to save their home. Both of their character developments were weak and unbelievable. Then once the parents were convinced to stop demolition the movie lost all of its dramatic tension. This movie isn’t ‘bad’ per say, just completely boring. Not I understand why I never rewatched this as a kid.

34: Barbie In Princess Power

This movie had so much unrealized potential, but fell apart due to its plot that went all over the place. The villain and his frog were extremely annoying, Kera’s friends were completely one note characters, and Dark Sparkle was so petty and unnecessary. The part that pissed me off the most was how Kera’s identity was revealed to everyone. First off Wes was forgiven for this way too easily, despite it completely making me lose what little faith I had in his character, and secondly her parents handled it so casually. It seemed more like she had gotten in trouble for sneaking out to go to a party than her being forced into getting superpowers and using them to fight crime in the city. Plus the animation was absolutely horrible. What is with Mattel and changing barbie’s model every new movie?

I really wish this movie was better. Barbie as a superhero is such an amazing concept, and it makes me sad to see it executed so terribly.

33: Barbie & Her Sisters In The Great Puppy Adventure

Another movie with the most annoying villains possible. They’re the core reason I couldn’t stand watching this. In addition to that I found that the treasure being under the big willow tree was completely predictable from the first ten minutes of the movie. And even though the puppies were quite cute, their voices were so annoying. There are also a few plot holes (if you can call them that) such as the metal detector app (it hurt typing that) and how the girls knew that scaling the wall of the cave would lead to where the elevator lead. Despite this I still liked learning about barbie’s childhood and all of her achievements, though her grandma was quite creepy.

32: Barbie & Her Sisters In A Pony Tale

This movie straight up has no plot. It’s the worst of the sisters movies in that regard. Many chunks of this movie felt like filler (such as the party scene), and the character conflicts were weak and contrived (such as Chelsey and Staci's). One thing that I really liked about this movie is Barbie’s character, but that’s pretty consistent with all the sisters movies that aren’t Puppy Chase. I also found the two french guys very annoying (is there any sisters movie with a good villain?).

31: Barbie: Fairytopia

I feel bad for putting this one so low, especially considering how high my placements of all the sequels are. It feels like information is revealed to quickly at the beginning and the rest of the movie is just boring. Elina is very interesting but she could use a lot more character development. The part about her being bullied for not having wings was relegated to cheesy dialogue and didn’t really amount to anything. Plus the fungi aren’t nearly as funny as they are in Mermaidia.

The main reason I’m not putting it lower is for nostalgia and setting up the rest of the Fairytopia series. Aside from that I also really liked the vibe of the one underwater scene, and the “friends you haven’t met” line was quite good. This movie is just a complete anomaly in the great track record of early barbie movies. You honestly don’t even need to watch it to understand the sequels.

30: Barbie: A Perfect Christmas

As a musical this movie really sucks. The only song that I actually liked was barbie’s one solo, and even her singing voice there really didn’t sound like her. There’s really no plot to this movie, but I did find myself enjoying the dynamic of the sisters a lot more than the other sisters movies (even though Skipper’s Arc with the concert came out of nowhere and stressed me out). The way Santa’s magic was shoehorned into the story really bothered me though.

29: Barbie Video Game Hero

The best thing about this movie is definitely the side characters. They all had nice designs and personalities, especially Bella and Chris. The concept of this movie is also so creative and fun that I actually enjoyed it way more than I thought I would. I liked it mostly during the first two levels as well as the bonus one, but the last two really soiled it for me. The fact that there’s an open world game with no clear way to win makes no sense in the context of the rest of the game, and the Just Dance advertisements are absolutely cringey. This movie has a strong beginning but really falls behind in the second half. The last scene of the movie really made me want to rip my eyes out.

28: Barbie: Spy Squad

This movie really suffers from not getting the audience to care. The characters aren’t developed enough in the opening and the way the girls got their jobs as spies seemed too easy. The storyline felt too straightforward, and even the plot twist at the end was kind of cheap.

Despite this I still really enjoyed many parts of this film. For one the animation is amazing. I loved the character designs, especially Patricia’s. Speaking of her, I thought she was a pretty good villain, even if she was a little cheesy and her ‘redemption’ arc was very clumsy. I also thought Lazlo was sweet. A lot of modern barbie movies only go halfway with the romance because they don’t want to be seen as bad role models for girls, and a lot of the times the Ken characters just seem unnecessary. I thought it was a good idea to have him be the “love interest” of a non barbie character so his inclusion doesn’t feel useless, even if they never actually got together. It was also just really fun to see all the spy technology.

27: Barbie: The Princess And The Popstar

The placing of this movie is extremely unfortunate since I actually really liked Tori and Kiera’s characters. They both had spunk and I really like the tropes of the roundy princess and the celebrity who doesn’t find satisfaction in fame. The reason this movie is so low comes down to the terrible plot. It felt like they were trying too hard to make it similar to the Princess & The Pauper even though Tori and Kiera’s characters would much better suit a different plotline. The villains were just insanely frustrating and had such unclear motivations. The songs were also pretty bad (other than Here I Am), the Ken character is annoying, and the climax has barely any emotional weight since it wasn’t led up to properly. But hey, at least Tori/Kiera is a high quality ship. If it wasn’t for their relationship this movie would be much lower.

26: Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale

I love the set up for barbie’s character in this movie. She’s just been fired for the first time, Ken broke up with her, and she feels like her life is falling apart. She really reached a new layer of dimension with this movie, and she’s the best barbie as herself character in all of the movies. My main problem is the boring plotline with the flairies. Their character’s aren’t interesting and what they do to the clothing isn’t anything special. This movie also suffers from the boring villains. Barbie’s character is my main reason for liking this movie, along with the Ken plotline, even if it could be quite contrived.

25: Barbie: Star Light Adventure

This is a very weird movie. I had completely different reactions to it during the two times I saw this movie. The first time I thought it was very disappointing. The title said “adventure” so I was very surprised when the characters spent most of the movie training in the same location and we barely got to see any cool new locations. The pace was also extremely slow, especially near the beginning. The second time I started to appreciate the movie for what it is. The animation is absolutely stunning and I love what we saw of the creatures in this universe. Sa-Lee is definitely one of my favourite side characters, and the rest of the team was pretty cool too.

They also added a bunch of new things that I think are very unique to this movie. For instance I loved that barbie’s had telekinesis. She definitely needs more superpowers in future movies. I also liked that we got to see her parents.

My main gripe with this movie has to be Constantine. He was annoying for no reason and I think the movie would’ve benefitted from either having him be nicer and more of a character arc, or having him be a full villain who’s using the team for personal gain.

24: Barbie: Mariposa & The Fairy Princess

As a sequel this movie sucks. It doesn’t cover the same themes as the first movie, we don’t get Elina telling the story, the stakes are nowhere near the height as the first one was, and the characters in the first movie don’t get nearly enough screentime. Willa and Carlos’s part in this movie was underwhelming, but I’m especially annoyed by the fact that Rayna and Rayla weren’t even mentioned once. This all probably would’ve been different had the movie been made closer to the original, and I’m extremely confused as to why they waited to make it in 2013.

However if you disassociate it with the first movie it becomes way more enjoyable. I thought Catania was sweet and lowkey ship her with Mariposa (though it still doesn’t compare to the Mariposa/Carlos/Willa OT3). The crystal fairies themselves were an interesting addition to the universe and their designs were really pretty (I actually wish I was still into barbie at the time it was released just so I could’ve got some of the dolls). The increase in animation quality was also a plus. I’m also so happy that after the first movie Mariposa started running a library. It was such a natural progression in her character arc and it’s so perfect. There are still a lot of problems, such as a villain who feels utterly disconnected from the main story, clumsiness and miscommunication being repeatedly used as plot devices, and the annoyingness that are the puffballs. I’m still glad this movie happened and if you liked the first movie you should definitely check this one out too.

23: Barbie And The Secret Door

Oh boy is this one a mixed bag. It was actually the first "new” barbie movie that I saw, but it definitely did the trick of making me want to watch the other ones.

On the positive side this movie is so pretty. I love all the bright colours and the designs for Nori and Romy. Speaking of which, they were such great side characters, and an adorable ship! I especially like Romy since she was so funny and adorable. Plus, the “what’s a boy?” comment made me laugh. I thought that the world building aspect of this movie was really interesting, even if the animal designs weren’t the best.

On the negative side, I feel like the music was extremely disappointing. It got less annoying on my second watch through, so maybe I just have to warm up to it. I also feel like the villain was boring. This movie deserved a more serious antagonist, especially since we saw how terribly she affected the fairies and mermaids. I did overall like princess Alexa, but I’m kind of unsure about her arc relating to responsibility. I think a lot of modern barbie princess movies in general just aren’t as interesting as the ones that take place in the past.

22: Barbie: Dolphin Magic

What a cute movie. I loved Isla’s so much! She and Barbie were so adorable together. The dolphin’s themselves were quite cute too.

This is a very feel good movie, and it almost makes you ignore its flaws. The main thing that annoyed me is why couldn’t they just pick up the dolphin and put him back in the ocean? He’s not even that big, and there isn’t much distance that you’d have to walk with him anyway. The plot and villain aren’t that interesting either, and the sisters were sometimes annoying (such as Staci’s broken foot having no weight on the plot, and Treasure being absolute garbage). Barbie also seems a little too perfect in this movie, which isn’t even true for the rest of the sister movies and they’re all way lower on this list. I also laughed a lot when Barbie called Ken her “Friend”, since apparently romance is too inappropriate for a barbie movie. Still, if you ignore this and just watch all the Barbie/Isla scenes, the movie is really good.

21: Barbie: Fairytopia: Magic Of The Rainbow

Being introduced to all the different fairies in this movie was so much fun. I love all their different personalities and designs, especially Glee, Sunburst, and Lumina. Elina grew so much in this movie, and it truly is the perfect ending to the trilogy. The flight of spring was really cool too. The only real flaw this movie has is how clumsily Elina’s magic abilities are added in. It almost seems like she knew how to use it all along, even if we know she didn’t.

Also Dizzle is the worst. And that one apprentice’s wings being the braids in her hair was FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

20: Barbie In Swan Lake

This movie is definitely the most legitimately beautiful barbie movie out there. The colours are so nice, the dancing is so majestic, and I’d want to live in the forest any day. Odette is one of the prettiest barbie characters and I love her wardrobe. This movie also has two of the most iconic villains of my childhood who make me laugh every time I think of them.

Despite this I still don’t think this is nearly as good as everyone makes it out to be. First off, Odette’s character arc as the ‘chosen one’ wasn’t executed believably, and she wasn’t even that interesting. The romance was way too instalove-y for my taste (even Rapunzel had a more believable romance than this). The message of this movie was also really unclear in the Chelsey scenes. Overall it’s a great fairytale that I have lots of nostalgia for, but it doesn’t hold up as well when you really dig into it.

19: Barbie: Fairy Secret

I love how Barbie and Raquelle’s relationship is expanded upon in this movie. In Fashion Fairytale Raquelle’s motivations were confusing and she felt very flat. I love how we got to see them forced to work together despite their hard feelings and eventually come to forgive each other at the end once they got to the root of their issues with each other. It’s the ideal enemies to loversfriends scenario.

This movie is just really fun. Exactly what a barbie movie should be. Barbie’s stylist friends were great, and the Ken parts were pretty funny. I do overall like the worldbuilding, though Gloss Angelos looked way to small to even be classifed as a city, let alone the biggest fairy city in the world. It’s like 90% castle and 10% actual city.

In the end I always wish that Barbie, Raquelle, and Ken remembered what happened to them, and that’s the most frustrating part about this movie.

18: The Barbie Diaries

Despite being made by a completely different studio than the other movies (and having a downgrade in animation quality), this movie really holds up today. There’s a lot going on here, and it makes the plot seem way more complex than any other barbie movie. We also get to see into barbie’s head a lot more than any other barbie as herself movie, what with her fantasies that we got to see visualized. This movie is just the perfect blend of magic and normal life, and even if I do prefer the fantasy based barbie movies, this one will always hold a place in my heart.

17: Barbie And The 12 Dancing Princesses

There really isn’t much to be said about this movie. It’s just plain good. There’s nice music, a good plot, a great villain, a cute cat character, and a girl obsessed with bugs. What more could you want?

The only thing I don’t like is the wedding scene. It seemed quite out of place. Their relationship wasn’t that important to deserve the last few minutes of the movie.

16: Barbie And The Three Musketeers

Barbie sword fighting is all I’ve ever wanted in life. This movie really broke the mold for what barbie could do. Corinne is a great protagonist, and the other musketeers were great too (even if their personalities weren’t developed that much). I love how important their friendship was and how easily Corinne integrated into their group. This movie is super fun and just makes me want to scream “GIRL POWER” from the top of my lungs.

There were still some drawbacks though. The prince was annoying, I got so tired of that one sound effect that keep on repeating over and over again (if you’ve seen the movie you know what I’m talking about), the cat was way too immature, and while the villain was good, he was not subtle at all. The movie still had a solid storyline, and I loved how it ended with the girls going on another adventure. *sigh* If only this movie had a sequel.

15: Barbie: The Pearl Princess

Lumina is one of my favourite barbie protagonists. She just felt human in a way that not many others do (even though she’s technically a mermaid, not human). She was naive, but not stupid. I loved seeing her react to a world she hasn’t seen before. This movie had such a unique approach with her aunt Scylla. Her aunt may have done something completely wrong, and she admits to that, but Lumina doesn’t ignore the way aunt Scylla has cared for her and loved her over the years. She accepts her found family and her biological family at the same time, and lets her have a chance at redemption. In addition to that I really loved Lumina’s pre transformation outfit. It’s my second favourite barbie mermaid outfit next to Nori’s in Mermaidia.

I also liked how much the animals of this movie felt like active members of society, and had intelligence levels equivalent the mermaids. I’ve never really seen that in a barbie movie, at least to this extent. Kuda was a great animal sidekick who really felt like one of Lumina’s true friends. I also like how Spike looked dangerous but was a real softie on the inside.

There are a lot of other elements of this movie that I liked too, like how sweet Fergus was, and his love of botany. I liked the gag about Caligo thinking he’s being poisoned, and being paranoid about which cup he’s gonna drink from. Even if the Ken character wasn’t utilized much, I liked his dolphin friend. My only complaint is that the climax was a little messy, and I didn’t enjoy Caligo as a villain that much.

14: Barbie In A Mermaid Tale 2

This worked very well as a sequel to the original Mermaid Tale. Eris’s return as a villain felt very natural, and this movie continued to have Merliah feel like a genuine teenager with her own dreams and mood swings. The only reason it’s lower than the first one is because the plot isn’t as all encompassing and it doesn’t feel like Merliah’s life has changed as much as it did originally, if that makes sense. The plot also feels a little too fast at times, but the pacing doesn’t affect the movie drastically.

Kylie was a wonderful addition to the cast. She was mean, but you could clearly tell that it came from her insecurities about her own talent. I cannot emphasize how well her conflict with Merliah was developed. I loved their banter at the beginning and how they came to understand each other at the end, to the point where it didn’t matter who won the competition. It’s just.....SO GAY. I love it.

Speaking of which, Fallon and Hadley were both really cute in this movie too, more so than the first one. I just love how little men there are in the Mermaid Tale movies.

13: Barbie: Princess Charm School

Last time I watched this movie a few years ago I absolutely hated it, but after rewatching it again my opinion has completely turned around. The plot of this movie may still be very basic, and the supporting characters, Princess Isla and Hadley, were very one note, but it’s the strength of the Protagonist, Blair, that really makes this movie. I love seeing her determination in an environment she’s not used to, and how selfless she was even when she’s surrounded by selfishness.

Also can we appreciate how dark this movie was? Dame Devin literally MURDERED Blair’s parents in a car accident. It’s not like that hasn’t happened in any other movie, but in this one the tone just feels a lot more jarring.

I really appreciated Delancey’s character development. She seems so cold and unforgiving at the beginning, but as more information is revealed to her she changes for the better. She was raised in such a negative environment and I can’t help but be proud of her. Her friend Portia was also really funny too. I love the “YOU STOLE MY CAKE” scene.

12: Barbie As The Island Princess

Is there anything better than crazy island girl characters who talk to animals? I think not.

I love Ro’s animal family. Azul and Sagi are essentially Ro and Tika’s dads, and it’s adorable. Azul’s peacock sounds are just absolutely ridiculous, and I love it.

The music of this movie was also soooooo good. Words cannot describe how The Rat Song makes me feel inside. On a more serious note, I Need To Know is absolutely perfect. I love the visuals that go along with it. And just when you think it’s over, Ro’s part ends and Prince Antonio comes in AND IT’S SO PERFECT. Love Is For Peasants is also the best barbie villain song in any movie. “You need to stop reading those books. Filling your head with thoughts!” ICONIC. The soundtrack of this movie isn’t as good when listening to it outside of the context of movie when you compare it to stuff like the Princess And The Pauper, but it’s still really good nonetheless.

The romantic element of this movie was also really good. I think this is the first time on this list that I’ve listed the romance as a positive aspect. Ro and Antonio are just really compatible people who fulfill very essential parts of themselves when they meet. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I also love Tika’s development in regards to their relationship too.

The villain was pretty okay, but I especially love princess Luciana. She may be a romantic rival to Ro, but she’s a victim too, and she’s given a very sympathetic role in the story even if her mother is the villain. Her arc was very satisfying.

11: Barbie In A Christmas Carol

Not really a typical barbie movie to list as one of my favourites, but it’s a christmas essential for me. Having Barbie be Scrooge was a very risky move, but god, did it pay off. Eden was cruel, but her story is so sad. I always feel her fear when her aunt disrupts Catherine’s party. This is definitely another one of the darkest barbie movies.

Also, GHOSTS. Ghosts should have been in more barbie movies. They all had cool concepts and designs, mainly Aunt Marie and the ghost of christmas future.

Catherine was such a joy to see in this movie. She’s a very kind and selfless person, but her friendship to Eden puts her in conflict with that side of herself. Seeing her fulfilling Eden’s role in the vision of the future was actually kind of scary. It makes it all the more satisfying when Eden apologizes to Catherine in the end. I really love their friendship.

Christmas Carol was always one of my favourite christmas tales after I watched the Mickey version, and I think this movie did it justice (thought it was slightly less traumatizing than that, thankfully).

10: Barbie In The Nutcracker

Even though I’ve had a copy of this for the longest time I never really took the time to watch and appreciate it. And now that I have I’ve gotta say that this was a great start to the barbie saga. The producers still hadn’t settled on making barbie movies the way they’re known for now, and you can tell by the lack of female characters and a few of the 2D sequences, but the sense of adventure this movie has is so unlike any movie that came after. And despite the limited resources they had for animating it still ended up looking stunning. They animators had such a good sense of colour, and all the landscapes looked amazing.

Before watching this I always thought that The Magic Of Pegasus had the best (canon) romance of any barbie movie, but now I actually think that this may be better. Clara and Prince Eric have great chemistry and such a believable bond. The last dance scene was amazing and it so was heartbreaking when Clara was sent back to the real world. I love the scene when Eric visits Clara’s house and confirms that it wasn’t all a dream.

Also, I really appreciate Clara’s decision to stay in the magical world. So much media, including barbie movies, puts emphasis on people staying with their family and choosing more stable environments. What writers don’t realize is that that’s boring. We don’t watch movies to learn about people’s normal lives, and I’m so grateful that this story ended the way it did. So yeah, thanks writers.

There were also many scary moments here too. The rock monster is TERRIFYING. Maybe the reason I don’t remember this movie is because the rock monster traumatized me so much I had to repress it. The Mouse King was also quite creepy. I wish newer barbie movies committed to making scary villains like him.

9: Barbie In A Mermaid Tale

I probably have the most nostalgia towards this movie since it was always my sister’s favourite growing up. Now it’s one of the only barbie movies she’ll watch with me other than the sequel. I expected to not enjoy this movie as much since I’d kind of exhausted it by this point, but I guess I surprised myself.

As I mentioned in Mermaid Tale 2, Merliah feels like a genuine teenager. She likes her normal life and hates responsibility. Because of this her arc of deciding to save her people feels so much more genuine and poignant.

The world building of this universe is just so good. The plot with Calissa and Eris was great, and I love the scene where Merliah is picking out a tail. The world just looks so pretty and magical, even if magic doesn’t play a huge role in this film. The soundtrack sets the scene so nicely, and Queen Of The Waves is definitely one of my favourite barbie songs.

8: Barbie In The Pink Shoes

This is definitely a huge unpopular opinion, so I should get all the negatives of this movie out of the way first. The animation of the faces is extremely creepy, Kristin was very irresponsible to decide to change her routine up at the last minute, and she would’ve worked much better as a choreographer than as a dancer. Despite these flaws there’s still something about this movie that makes me love it.

For one, despite the creepy faces, the dancing animations were still pretty good. And even though Kristin’s arc wasn’t the best I still find her final dancing scenes (the one in the ice palace and the one on stage) to be so inspiring. Keep On Dancing is such an amazing song and it gave me chills the first time I heard it. The movie is also quite pretty. The ballet outfits aren’t as traditional as ones in earlier barbie ballets, but they still have flare and nice colours.

The movie is also really funny. It makes fun of the ballets it covers a lot. I love the “you don’t look a day over 16″ part. The two suitors especially, Hilarion and Prince Albrecht, were so funny. I loved how their petty jabs at each other turned into compliments when faced with adversity. Hayley was also pretty funny since she was the realist of the movie.

I think the irl characters were used very nicely in the ballet world, and I liked how when Kristin got back it turned out that everything wasn’t as bad as it seemed before. Tara wasn’t as mean and Madame Natasha wasn’t nearly as scary. That’s one of my favourite tropes in fiction.

7: Barbie & The Diamond Castle

Liana and Alexa are basically a married couple. There is literally no way to refute this. Their arguments are adorable and domestic, and they clearly love each other more than anything in the world. They may have their differences at times but when it comes down to it they know each other more than anyone else does and work together so nicely. Every aspect of their lives is intertwined so much that separation usually isn’t an option for them. My heart broke when they parted since I knew that that was how Lydia would defeat them. I cried when Liana came to Alexa’s rescue, and the movie ending with them going to back to their normal house instead of staying at the diamond castle was beautiful. Truly the best and purest barbie ship.

Now that that’s out of the way let’s talk about everything else. The plot of this movie is so unique. There is no other barbie movie that’s about music itself. The muses and their drama and betrayal with Lydia was so intriguing. Seriously, Lydia was a scary villain. I was terrified of her as a child. Liana and Alexa seemed like they’re helpless against her powers, and it feels all the more victorious when they defeat her. The last fight scene was truly epic.

I really appreciate how little Liana and Alexa care about the two twins. They’re my least favourite part of the movie, and even if they do start working with them later on in the movie it’s made very clear that they don’t care about them at all.

6: Barbie In Rock ‘N Royals

I really didn’t have high expectations for this one. It was after I had watched The Princess And The Popstar and Secret Door, which both gave me a bad feeling about barbie pop musicals. But this movie really came through and made itself my second favourite barbie musical movie, and my sixth favourite overall.

The only thing I disliked was Courtney’s weird facial design. That’s it. The rest of the movie is basically perfect.

The movie started off at a relaxing pace but I was never tricked into thinking it would end that way. I love the Camp Pop vs. Camp Royalty plotline. Finn and Lady Ann seemed simple at first but their past was revealed at the perfect time. Clive was hilarious and him becoming the real villain was executed so well.

Seeing Courtney and Erika react to the camps was a delight. Their friends were so quirky and nice to them, and the camps themselves were pretty fun too (UNICORNS). Them finally meeting at the beach was such a breath of fresh air. I could imagine them becoming great friends in the future (cough sequel cough). Erika was probably my favourite of the two since she just looked really cool and had a more interesting arc. I just love it when two groups of people who have seemingly nothing in common come together to achieve a common goal. Also I have a theory that Sloan and Princess Olivia were in love the whole time, and the competition was the first time they could smile around each other without being ridiculed by their peers.

Now, onto the music. My favourite song is probably Gotta Get To Camp. I was shocked at how good it was. The choreography was also the most interesting since it was the only time the characters spontaneously burst into song. When You’re A Princess is also such a bop.

This is definitely the first movie I’d recommend to any classic barbie fan who wants to try out some of the new ones.

5: Barbie: Mariposa & Her Butterfly Fairy Friends

This is probably the closest to a perfect barbie movie you’ll get. The protagonist is very relatable, the supporting cast is great, everyone has good development, the world is scary yet so fascinating, and the villains are amazing. Also it has a non barbie protagonist. Having Elina narrate the story was such a great decision. Mariposa really sticks out in the long list of barbie protags. Her transformation scene near the end was so great. It fits the theme of the movie so well and I think that anyone can get inspiration from Mariposa’s journey.

When it comes to characters everyone is so much fun. Carlos is another one of my favourite barbie love interests, even if the movie didn’t commit to the romance fully. He and Mariposa have their love of reading in common and they like each other for non superficial reasons. Willa is also adorable and sweet. It would be very interesting to find out how she and Mariposa met, since they’re so different, yet they’re close friends nonetheless. Rayna and Rayla are both quite interesting cases. When they first showed up I rolled my eyes and thought they’d be tossed out of the way very soon, but they continued through the story and changed as people. They gained respect for Mariposa, and vice versa. Henna was also pretty cool too.

The setting was so interesting too, more than any other Fairytopia movie. Every place looks like it has danger lurking, and he characters genuinely felt small next to the landscape. One of my favourite things in this movie has to be the absolutely horrifying Skeezites. I remember playing the DVD game as a kid and having nightmares about it later.

4: Barbie As Rapunzel

This is probably the scariest barbie movie. Unlike other scary ones like Mariposa and Diamond Castle there’s such an aura of misery and helplessness to this movie that is like no other. Gothel is the main reason for it. The tower just looks so dark and every scene in the normal world has such tension surrounding it. It makes me even more emotional when Rapunzel finally frees herself from the tower.

All the paintbrush scenes are integral barbie moments for any kid growing up. I remember being fascinated by her art, and by how hope came to Rapunzel in her worst moments. We don’t get a real answer to how the paintbrush came to be, but it doesn’t feel necessary. It’s just so beautiful.

I love the animal sidekicks in this movie too. Penelope is so adorable, and I love how she, like Rapunzel, found the courage in herself to stand up and disobey her father. And having a dragon be one of the good guys was a really risky move for the second barbie movie, but it payed off so well.

This was truly an ethereal movie.

3: Barbie And The Magic Of Pegasus

This movie definitely has the most riveting original plot of any barbie movie. Wenlock was a terrifying villain and Brietta’s story is so sad. Plus, barbie standing up for Wenlock’s wives at the end basically invented feminism. I love that it’s about an ice skating barbie, and all the skating scene were so fun too.

Shiver is also adorable. I had a lot of the dolls as a kid and the only things I have left from them are the Shiver toy and the Wand Of Light. Speaking which, that wand was so epic and pretty. The movie was just so aesthetically pleasing.

Annika is another one of my favourite barbie protagonists. Like Merliah, she genuinely feels like a true teenager who's rebelling against her strict parents, and she learns a great lesson. Aidan was also a great mirror for her and when I was younger they were my favourite barbie couple. They have lots of good banter and I really buy their relationship development. I especially love the ice dancing scene at the end.

This movie is a barbie essential for me. It represents so much of my childhood. I used to watch this movie obsessively and it’s just as good now as it was back then.

2: Barbie: Fairytopia: Mermaidia

This is kind of an odd choice for my second favourite barbie movie. This one used to be my #1 favourite before I rewatched the one coming. I was obsessed with mermaids and fairies as a kid and no other movie captured my imagination the way this one did. The land of Mermaidia is so pretty and reminds me of everything I dreamed about as a kid. It also gave me Nori, my favourite non barbie character in any barbie movie and one of my biggest childhood crushes. I love how her sass comes from her insecurities about Nalu, and how she and Elina start to like each other once they see past him.

Elina/Nori is also another contender for my favourite barbie ship. They have nice banter (and I’m sure by now you all know how much I love that) and I love the scene when Elina sacrifices her wings for a tail to save Nori (that’s totally my favourite scene in any barbie movie). I wish we got more of their relationship in Magic Of The Rainbow, but I guess that wouldn’t have fit with the movie. Oh well.

This movie works very well as a sequel, while also being better than the original in every way. We had the same villain, and we got to see a part of the Fairytopia universe that we only saw a glimpse of in the first one. After Elina got her wings it only feels natural that the possibility of her losing them again is explored, as well as the prospect that maybe she doesn’t need wings to be herself. And compared to the original movie the stakes have been raised much higher, we have more reasons to care about the characters, and it’s so much funnier. The fungi annoyed me in the first movie but in this one they made me laugh constantly. And this movie wouldn’t be complete with the amazingness that is opera Bibble.

This movie doesn’t have the best plot, but it doesn’t suffer from it either. It’s one of those movies that just makes me feel relaxed and at peace (other than the Depths of Despair scene, though at this point I’ve seen it enough that it doesn’t phase me as much anymore).

1: Barbie As The Princess And The Pauper

We all knew this was coming. No other barbie movie comes close to this classic. It’s gonna be hard to describe why I love it so much since everything that’s amazing about this movie has already been said a thousand times before, but I’ll give it a go.

Anneliese and Erika are amazing characters. They may come from different social classes but they both have the shared experience of not being able to fulfill their dreams. This movie is so good at showing you how trapped they feel, yet still their duty to their lives never waver. My mom has an interesting story about how she got into this movie. She initially thought that barbie would be a terrible role model for me and my sister until she saw The Princess And The Pauper. Anneliese and Erika are clearly very complex protagonists who have interests outside of romance and are active participants in changing their destinies and saving the kingdom. Especially with Erika, who decides to achieve her dream of becoming a famous singer before getting married to King Dominick.

This movie has a bunch of nice relationships too. Anneliese and Erika click with each other so well and respect each other’s troubles without downplaying their situations due to the class difference. The romances were both nicely developed too. Erika and Dominick may have fallen in love over the course of a day but I appreciate how much he likes her stranger side (like when he walked in on her singing to her cat lmao). Anneliese and Julian’s relationship feels especially believable since they’ve known each other for a very long time. I also really like that they waited for Erika to come back before getting married. OT4 goals.

Preminger is a barbie villain like no other. The rest of my top ten has been dominated by scary and serious villains, but Preminger is just so funny and dramatic compared to them all. He’s the only barbie villain that has became very well known in pop culture.

All of the songs in this movie are so iconic. I think that’s the biggest strength of this movie. I'm constantly listening to music and the soundtrack is a great way for me to take this movie everywhere I go. The Cat’s Meow is a beautiful song, Written In Your Heart feels so inspiring, I Am A Girl Like You is great character study, If You Love Me For Me is a beautiful and tender love song, How Can I Refuse? is an iconic villain song, and Free is a great introduction to the characters, as well as my number one favourite barbie song. Every song has something special about it and that makes it one of the most memorable movie soundtracks ever for me.

I also love the cats Serafina and Wolfie. They’re two of the best animal sidekicks in any barbie movie since they feel a lot like the human characters. THEY ALSO HAVE SO MANY BABIES IN THE END FUCKING GOD.

I hope you all enjoyed my ranking. Feel free to comment with your favourites and least favourites, just be aware that this is all personal to me and really says nothing about the objective quality of each of these movies.

#barbie #barbie movies

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duhragonball · 5 years ago

Text

Dragon Ball GT Retrospective (4/7)

[Note: This was originally written on January 13,2013. I embedded YouTube videos on each part, including several Evanescence AMVs, but Tumblr won’t cooperate with that for some reason. Just look them up yourself.]

Today I'd like to talk about the Super 17 Saga. It sucks, but it's short. Man, there's an Evanescence AMV for this too? I'm starting to see why that Daredevil movie was so poorly received. Starring Ben Affleck! Soundtrack by Every Fifteen-Year-Old on YouTube!

From what I've read, Episode 41 was supposed to have been the finale of Dragon Ball GT, but the show got renewed and so it chugged along for another 23 installments. I don't know if the post-Baby storylines were rushed, per se, but it does sort of feel like Toei was caught flat-footed. For one thing, the opening credits still kept using the same animations of Goku, Pan, and Trunks flying around in space, looking for Black Star Dragon Balls, and fighting Baby. Well, the outer space adventures are over, the Black Star Dragon Balls are gone, and Baby's friggin' dead. Hell, Trunks even gets kicked out of the main cast. From here on out It's all Goku and Pan with a little Vegeta now and then. Also, I think the Super 17 Saga feels like a kneejerk reaction. "They ordered more shows, what do we do? Shit... uh, let's just bring back all the bad guys from the old series!" For a Dragon Ball Z fan, watching GT for the first time is like getting whiplash because they kept switching the premise around. The whole point of the first two dozen episodes was that they were abandoning the DBZ formula and trying to do old school Kid Goku stories in outer space. Then they spend another dozen episodes setting up a Goku vs. Vegeta fight with new power-ups. By Episode 42, the series has given up any ambition of offering a distinct flavor or vision. It's settled into a rut of doing lame comedy and watered-down superhero fights. So first off, Episode 41 is about the latest World Martial Arts Tournament. Goku used to compete in these things, but after he won the tournament he let everything that happened in DBZ distract him from the event, and during that time Mr. Satan became the multi-time World Champion. The gag with Mr. Satan is that he has no super powers whatsoever, and while he's a brilliant martial artist, he only dominates the competition because all the super-fighters lost interest in the event. By the end of DBZ, Goku and Mr. Satan's kids got married, so now they rig the tournament like some kind of kung fu mafia: Whoever wins the tournament has to fight Mr. Satan to actually claim the championship, and that person always agrees to take a dive. By the end of DBZ, the Z-fighters are comfortable letting Mr. Satan serve as a figurehead hero to the people of Earth, while they do all the actual daysaving. By the GT-era, Satan is now in his mid-fifties, and feels comfortable retiring and passing the torch to someone new. He tries to rig the event so his grandaughter Pan can win, but she withdraws for fear that she'll be required to wear his ring gear and mustache if she wins. Goku wanted to compete, but Mr. Satan convinces him to fight in the junior division because he's too short. Ultimately, it's Uub who wins the tournament, but at the last moment he freezes and Mr. Satan actually eliminates him cleanly. The reasons for this are complicated, and so I gotta explain Majin Buu. The final bad guy of Dragon Ball Z was Majin Buu, a genie who could absorb the personalities and traits of his enemies. This ability eventually caused him to split into two Buus, a good fat Buu and an evil version who went on to be the main villain. The good Buu made friends with Mr. Satan, and was instrumental in preserving his stranglehold on the World Championship. The evil Buu was killed by Goku, who wished that he could be reincarnated as a good guy so they could fight again. Goku's wish came true, and the evil Buu was indeed reincarnated as a young human boy named "Uub" (get it?). Goku quickly took the boy as his student so he could train him for a rematch and groom him as his successor. You'd expect that Uub would have been a major player in Dragon Ball GT, but instead he barely ever shows up, and when he did finally make his big move to stop Baby he got his ass kicked. Fortunately for him, the good Majin Buu stepped in and recombined with Uub, transforming him into "Majuub". Majuub still got his ass kicked by Baby, but at least he made him work for it. The point of all this is that Majuub consciously wanted to beat Mr. Satan for the World title, but unconsciously, the part of him that was once Mr. Satan's BFF wanted to let his old pal have the glory one last time. This is sort of a problem with DBGT. I meant the show has tons and tons of problems, but this is one that I think deserves more attention. There's a certain fatalism to the series, because even if it isn't the final act for these characters, they're all older and half of them got 9-to-5 jobs and so forth, so it's clear that things are winding down. To that end, it makes sense that GT would see the deaths of some of the major characters, but they're all kind of cheap death scenes. Majin Buu doesn't die so much as he just merges with another iteration of himself. Mr. Satan misses him, but only because he doesn't understand what's happened. Piccolo dies, but it was a stupid and pointless sacrifice as I explained last time. In any event, he shows up later on in the afterlife, so it's not like he's actually gone. Then there's Krillin, but I don't want to get ahead of myself. Mr. Satan retaining his title is a variation on the theme. He talks about retiring, but when the moment arrives, he can't bring himself to step out of the limelight. In a similar vein, one could argue that Dragon Ball GT should have been mainly about Uub and Pan as the successors to Goku and Gohan, but Goku just couldn't walk away from the action. Anyway, with that business resolved, the Super 17 Saga can get started. Basically, it's like the Batman stories where a bunch of villains break out of Arkham Asylum, except all the worst offenders in Dragon Ball are dead, so they have to literally escape from hell. The plan begins when Dr. Myuu is recruited by Dr. Gero. Again, it really feels like Toei was just trying to come up with something on the fly, and they decided Gero and Myuu's resemblance was a feature instead of a bug. Myuu designed the Machine Mutants in the early episodes of GT, and Dr. Gero created the android villains in DBZ. They're both doctors and they both wear silly hats and long, bushy mustaches. Also, both of them were betrayed. Gero was killed when Android 17 turned on him, while Myuu was killed by his creator Baby. Gero's plan is to work together with Myuu to correct that whole "betrayal" thing that made Android 17 backfire. Android 17 is still alive on Earth, but if the two doctors build another Android 17 in hell, they can.... harmonize their subspace... tachyons.... resonance. Something. All I know is they somehow managed to build an exact duplicate of 17 in hell, so apparently they have hardware stores in hell. Dragon Ball has never been very consistent about how hell works. In theory, a dead bad guy is stripped of his corporeal form and he languishes in hell as a disembodied spirit until he's finally allowed to be reincarnated in a new identity. That's why Frieza can't just beat everyone up and conquer the afterlife. But Toei always liked the idea of dead bad guys stirring up trouble, so they kept depicting them with their bodies in hell, complete with their full powers. Dr. Gero was a cyborg, and I think they let him keep his robot body in hell, even though Frieza didn't get to keep his own cyborg implants. Go figure. For that matter, I'm pretty sure Dr. Myuu is purely mechanical, so I'm not convinced he'd even be in hell to begin with. But somehow he and General Rildo are there. So if Machine Mutants have souls, why isn't Baby there with the other villains? He's the strongest one, so wouldn't it make more sense to rebuild a stronger version of Baby and use him in the big revenge plan? Realistically, Toei probably left Baby out deliberately because they just killed him off, but that's why you don't do a story like this right after killing off a major villain. The point of all of this is that "Hell Fighter 17" and "Not Dead Yet 17" are mentally linked because they're basically the same unit in two bodies. They both fire some sort of energy beam in unison, and this allows them to open a portal connecting Hell and Earth. It's just sort of implied that the original Android 17 was mind-controlled for all of this, because he's the guy who sent Dr. Gero to hell in the first place, so I doubt he'd willingly endorse a plan to help him get out. Gero and Myuu send a bunch of dead villains to invade Earth, and they issue a challenge to Goku: Come fight Cell and Frieza in Hell, or we'll send them to Earth too to make the situation even worse. Goku is eager for a rematch with his old archenemies, even though he's gotten far, far stronger while they've been puttering around the afterlife all this time. He stupidly flies through the portal, only for Gero and Myuu to close it from the outside. So now Goku's trapped in Hell and most of his enemies are causing trouble on Earth. One of the first episodes of GT I ever saw was #43, because it came on a bonus DVD packaged with a strategy guide for a DBZ videogame. This was the episode where Goku fights Cell and Frieza in Hell, and I guess they put it on the DVD because it seemed like the best possible choice to promote the new show to DBZ fans. Cell's my favorite character in the show, so this has gotta be good, right? Well I watched the episode and quickly realized that GT sucks ass. First of all, it's been 43 episodes and Goku's still stuck as a child. He can turn into a Super Saiyan 4 and blow Cell and Frieza away in one hit, but he never does this. Hell, he could annihilate them in one of the lower Super Saiyan forms. But this is GT, and GT-logic demands that any preliminary fight be fought in base-form. Never mind that Goku had to go Super Saiyan the first time he fought these guys. Now he's fighting them at the same time, with a smaller body, and he wants to do it in normal form. Frieza and Cell act like they're gonna curbstomp Goku because they have scary new ghost powers, and they can't be killed themselves because they're already dead. But the reality is that Goku makes them look like idiots because he won't even bother powering up to fight them. Up your ass, Dragon Ball GT. At one point, Cell tries to absorb Goku with his scorpion tail, which doesn't even make sense because Cell only absorbs Androids whole, and he doesn't need to absorb anything anymore because he's in his final form. Goku simply forces his way out of Cell's ass. Later, Goku defeats Cell and Frieza using a snowblower. I wish I was kidding. It's some kind of magic snow blower, designed to freeze dead people, but it's still stupid. Cell deserved better. Meanwhile on Earth, the other bad guys get their asses destroyed because they're all incredibly outclassed by the good guys. Seriously, most of the villains from Dragon Ball were just mercenaries in helicopters and shit. They were fine at the time, but now all the good guys can throw mountains and shoot lasers from their hands. They're treated like cannon fodder, and rightfully so, but it kind of makes you wonder what the point of all this was. I always appreciated the fact that DBZ villains have to die because they're obsolete after their first loss. The good guys always train and get stronger, so if they were to come back for revenge they'd just be at an even bigger disadvantage. It's kind of neat to see Nappa come back and confront Vegeta for killing him, except Vegeta's like a thousand times stronger than he was the first time he killed him. The lame thing is that a handful of the villains might have had a chance, but Toei screwed them over. Trunks and Goten shoot down Android 19 with hand energy. Well, fine, they're probably strong enough to do that, except #19 was built with the power to absorb energy blasts. If a good guy kicked his head off or something I'd be fine with it, but they went for the one quick-kill scenario that made the least amount of sense. Captain Ginyu can switch bodies, so if he played his cards right he could trade up and be a contender again. I don't think they even used him in the story, though. A lot of these guys would have been better off running away from the battle and hiding out somewhere. I mean, if you're a human bad guy, you could just slip away in the confusion and if you can stay out of trouble for a few days, you're home free. You'd think most of these rank and file guys would rather have a new lease on life than revenge on some goofy kid they only met once. Once the villain army is wrapped up, Gero and Myuu sic Hell Fighter 17 on Vegeta, while the original #17 wanders off and tries to seduce his twin sister, Android #18. I'm not really sure what his motives are exactly, but he does some sort of hypnotic thing to her, but when Krillin snaps her out of it, he kills him, then attacks 18 when she objects. Maybe Gero wanted to use 18 in his plan, or this was 17's personality trying to fight his programming, but whatever. Guess how Vegeta fights Hell Fighter 17. If you said "base form", congratulations, you understand GT-Logic. Gero and Myuu summon the other Android 17 to the battle, and they combine them together to make "Super Android 17", a taller, more eyebrow-deficient version. Super 17 basically no-sells everything, and his secret weapon is that he can absorb energy from his opponents, just like #19 could do, except it actually works. Vegeta, Trunks, Goten, Gohan, and Majuub all take turns getting their asses kicked, then they finally power up and do it all over again. I should point out that the original, non-super, one-at-a-time 17 was more than a match for a Super Saiyan back in the day, and yet they all had to try fighting him in base form, just in case it suddenly works this time. The whole thing is a pointless debacle, because we all know Super 17 is too strong for anyone but Goku to fight, so we're just marking time until he can show up to save the day. Fortunately, Piccolo has an idea to free Goku, but he's stuck in heaven because he's a good guy. The guy in charge of that sort of thing refuses to send Piccolo to hell, so Piccolo starts blowing shit up to deserve the punishment. Once he arrives in hell, Piccolo starts duplicating the Android 17 thing. He and Dende time their energy beams just right, and that creates a polaron inversion that realigns the warp field coils, allowing Goku to jump back to Earth. Piccolo is unfortunately stuck in Hell now, but he gets to spend all his free time beating up bad guys, so he's probably happier that way. Goku finally comes to the rescue and shockingly transforms to fight Super 17. The only beef here is that he starts out in Super Saiyan.........1, the same form Vegeta used when he got his ass kicked. After a short warmup, he finally gets down to business and whips out SSJ4. The weird thing is that Super Saiyan 4 was GT's signature thing, and yet they barely ever let Goku use it. It's like they were embarrassed or something. It doesn't really matter anyway, because Super 17 can just absorb Goku's energy no matter how strong he is, so Goku gets beaten just as easily as his weaker allies. I should point out that, along the way, Super 17 turned on both Dr. Gero and Dr. Myuu. In Gero's case, Myuu secretly programmed Super 17 to only follow his own orders, but then he later blows up Dr. Myuu in an act of defiance, so it probably would have come to that no matter what. The only thing that stops Super 17 is his sister. 18 shows up at the critical moment and demands revenge in spite of the odds. Her rejection of what 17 has become stirs his original personality, and he manages to sabotage himself just enough that Goku can use 18's attack as a diversion and defeat him with a Super Dragon Fist. For no obvious reason, 18 tears her blouse during this scene. GT. Logic. So the saga ends as it began, with a character taking a dive to let a weaker character win. Not that I was rooting for Super 17 or anything, but it doesn't really make Goku look special when he can't even fight his own battles. On the other hand, Android 17 is finally, definitively killed, after years of being in a sort of limbo where no one really knew what had happened to him. It's really the only death scene they let stick, so I guess I have to give some credit there. The interface of hell and Earth causes environmental problems, so Goku resolves to find the Dragon Balls and use them to restore the Earth and resurrect Krillin. Unfortunately, all seven Dragon Balls are cracked. These are the good old Red Star Dragon Balls, by the way, the ones that don't blow up the Earth when you use them. At least, they used to be reliable... NEXT: Breakin' my balls

#dragon ball gt #really sucks #2013gt

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