#bandit’s words

[banditblvd]

MUMBOS LITTLE BEEPY NOISES ARE SO CUTE :(((

[banditblvd]

Dude how did you know this is how I (a little fella) traverse the outside world on a day-to-day basis

WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK ME ME ME ME ME ME

[je-lurk]

RIP Donnie, you were loved

[banditblvd]

comrade bandit blvd this is a plea for help can you please draw the PD if they were in amongus 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

What possessed you to ask me this

Genuinely this ask sent me into a fucking laughing fit for a solid 15 minutes, what made you think of this anon

I speedran this abysmal idea like my life depended on it, this is so funny to me for no reason

[raccoon-coded]

HAPPY RACCOON APPRECIATION DAY! 🦝

[banditblvd]

Yeah that adds up

i made a quiz: what does your soul smell like? (friendship/ relationship compatibility in the results!)

[aparticularbandit]

I like that this era and the set of three games that ends the era ends with Vax and Keyleth.

But I'm not sure that I like that a campaign meant to be about Bell's Hells ends with them.

I don't know if that makes sense - and I know it doesn't matter if I like it or not because it's for them and they share it with us!

I just.

Hm.

[empyreansentinel]

since ive started my most recent playthrough of the series im just. constantly reminded of how shitty of a hand the bandits got dealt. starting with dahl dumping thousands of convicts into pandoras penal colonies, as well as establishing civilian settlements like fyrestone. this went on for generations, maybe. long enough for zed to be born and go grey. atlas shows up, chases off dahl and the planet is put under new, neglectful management. this opens the prisons, and the "unworthy" convicts clash with the "worthy" dahl settlers for resources. violence breaking out is inevitable because violence is the only thing the bandits have. BL1 VHs come in, killing their way through every camp and mine and settlement they can get into, for no other reason than Bandit Bad and theyre in the way of our money. lets go into their homes and kill them because they would have probably tried to kill us if we hadnt. the first people they meet are settlers, of course theyre going to feel this way. the only pushback they get is atlas trying to "protect" barons territory because they want the vault key from his men. and it doesn't stop them from throwing him to the wolves once his value as bait outweighed his value as an asset. atlas sends them after flynt with the false promise of a key fragment, something the VHs have killed for before, so why would this be any different? the vault key is reformed. destroyer pops out of the vault, cracks open the planet, and then hyperion hits pandora. i dont need to explain hyperion. everyone, if nothing else, has played BL2. more prisons, more exploitation, this time on a scale several times that of dahl or atlas. but the bandits still dont get the benefit of a doubt, even though they are facing the same dangers that sanctuary does. and worse, seeing as how they dont have a flying city with a bubble around it. once the BL2 VHs touch down, theyre mincemeat. all of a sudden, theyre fighting a war on all fronts. so they lose their leadership. captain, flanksteak, mortar, nisha in 2. nine-toes, sledge, krom, baron in 1. and they also lose a good half of of their population to boot. so...what can they do that wont get them steamrolled by pandoras benevolent saviors? they unite. BL3 rolls around and every bandit clan on pandora has been assimilated into the COV because that is the only level of security they have left. except it still isnt safe because now theyre quite literally being eaten and mutated by the ones who are supposed to be protecting them. and then theyre still being mowed down regardless, because the calypsos dont provide any real kind of safety, they just have a veil of community. which is then lost when the twins die and the world almost gets destroyed by the great vault. and now the crimson raiders are...leaving, maybe? which might be for the best. maybe what this planet needs it just to be left the hell alone.

[cocochaca]

He just wanted to watch the cricket...

[banditblvd]

GUYS CALL OFF THE MOURNING I CALLED IT I WAS RIGHT

MY FAITH IN WAFFLE DUO KEPT ME GOING

what have you DONE.

I actually really hope it’s a short-live skin, because wow gray strands, BUT NOT THE WAFFLE BRO???? IT’S NOT WORTH IT AT ALL???? WAFFLE HAS A BIG MEANING???????? on the fcking grian’s b-day, I’m done—

[ro-sham-no]

God is a complex carb. A poem by me.

[vanosslirious]

Yumi: Why are you so jumpy?! *chasing SMii7y*

*SMii7y hits Yumi*

Yumi: You're a bitch.

SMii7y: Nah.

[banditblvd]

Every time Mumbo talks about Bdubs or impulse he says their full legal names and I think that’s really great for him

[banditblvd]

Cats!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love those guys!!!!!!

@gh0styfr13nd (and anyone else (I haven't got many people to tag aye(just imagine I tagged so many people)))

YOU FOOLS, you've fallen right into my trap. You thought this post was just an innocent picrew chain, made out of the kindness of my heart, but NO. For you see dear mutuals, it was all a ploy, a ploy to get you comfortable.

I know this may come to a shock to some of you, but it is true. I have a master plan, the end goal? Turn you all into cats. Then, with my army of kittys, I will... ok actually I haven't gotten that far yet, but trust me we'll do something super evil like knock paper off of desks or something.

Now that you have fallen for my scheme, I present to you one of many cat picrews. For I am not turning the frogs gay, I am turning the queers into cats and no one can stop me.

Picrew

Tags // @piney-45 @fizzello @ellalily @championofapollo @cr0w-covered0n-m0ss @x-ca1iber and anyone else who wants to take part

[kaibacorpstocksplit]

[musical-chan]

Father of Time Chapter 78: When Gods Cry

It made Link nervous when he heard about the deities dying. While he knew his dad almost perished when the mask broke, that felt different from knowing there were monsters that could kill them. Sure, some of the things he had fought in the past had been really difficult but he had just been a mortal kid; surely nothing like that would test a deity in the same way. 

Well, except maybe Majora. 

When even Enma, sarcastic and off-putting on the best of days, had real pain in zir voice, he decided to give his family some space.  What could he even say to them that would have any meaning at all?  So he wandered off to look around the hot springs, enjoy how clear it was up here above the storm.  The air was frigid and thin this high up but the view was amazing, just like atop Nayru's Mountain.  It was peaceful and beautiful in its own, austere way.  Link picked his way carefully around damp, icy stones, not really going anywhere in particular, following a feeling he couldn't name.  

The plain behind the spring was a different matter entirely.  It hadn't been touched by anything but the elements in many hundreds of years but told a tale of an ancient battle that was waged and nearly lost. Where there should be mountain peaks were chunks of rock and slag. Pockmarked surfaces were half filled with ice and snow, half empty holes that whistled with the winds in a deeply mournful song.  For the first time in his life, Link found music that he didn't enjoy, that caused him pain to hear.  This was an ancient song, trapped in a place of horror, a cry of pain and sacrifice and loss that tore at his heart with claws that had also left their mark on Hebra's face.

A deity had died here.

(Read the rest on AO3!)

Look, I promise this chapter isn't as sad as the title makes it sound.