#banana isn’t egg

[megdchristopher]

Someone shared this on BlueSky (‘originally’ from a Reddit post on /ididnthaveeggs according to TinEye)

And I felt inspired.

[certifiednobody]

Common mistake

[bibleofficial]

real talk when does a bender end & become just … abuse

[cozydiiary]

Pilates Diet / Workout Plan

﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ

Diet Plan

Day 1: 800 c4ls

Day 2: OMAD

Day 3: 600 c4ls

Day 4: 800 c4ls

Day 5: 600 c4ls

Day 6: OMAD

Day 7: 800 c4ls

﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ

M€al Ideas:

~ oatmeal w/ fruit

~ grilled chicken or tofu w/ green beans

~ yogurt bowl w/ fruit & granola

~ boiled egg & avocado salad

﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ

Sn4ck / Dr!nk Ideas:

~ banana or other fruit

~ cottage cheese

~ rice cake w/ hummus & cucumbers

~ green smoothie

﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ

W0rk0ut Plan

Day 1: Full Body

Day 2: Flat Stomach

Day 3: Rest Day

Day 4: Full Body

Day 5: Thighs / Legs

Day 6: Rest Day

Day 7: Arms / Back

Remember to stretch before and after exercising each day, and take your rest days seriously!! You need them.

This is my first time making a d!et / w0rk0ut plan so if this doesn’t make sense or isn’t good, please let me know! This is what I plan to follow soon.

[romanarose]

hey! i just saw your supportive logan fic for writer gf, and i was wondering if you would be open to writing something for chronic pain? the (gn! if possible!) reader having severe chronic pain, mostly in their legs, that prevents them from walking sometimes when a flare up is particularly bad. the reader just kinda feeling hopeless and so tired because there’s no cure to their condition. just really soft cuddles and comfort, ya know?

totally chill if this isn’t something you’re up for writing or isn’t the vibe! <3

thank you!!

Hi friend!!! I suffer from fibromyaglia and i fucking SUCKS so yes, I'd love to write this for you! GN read is 100% good, i'll write all kinds of readers.

Here you go!

Supportive Logan Thoughts: Chronically Ill Partner

Logan Howlett x gn!reader

Summary: Logan takes care of you

Warnings: Chronic pain

************

When Logan came in after work, the house looked exactly the same as he left it, from the banana peel on the counter from breakfast to your shoes you always took off in the middle of the hall, which (lovingly) drove him a bit insane. It's not that he expected you to do housework while he was gone or anything, but it was a sure sign that no, you weren't feeling better.

"Honey?" Logan called.

"Upstairs!"

Logan opened the bedroom door to find you in the dark, only lit by the dim glow of the TV playing reruns of your favorite show. He took a seat down on the bed, brushing the apple of your cheeks. "Hurting pretty bad, is it?"

You give a little nod, looking up at him. "Sorry, I didn't get anything done..."

"Don't worry about that, I'll take care of it."

A little whine escaped your mouth, lip quivering. "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have too, Lo, you just worked a ten hour day-"

With a playful smile, Logan pinched your lips together, making you giggle a little. "I'll survive doing a few dishes. You rest, I'll make dinner."

With a little kiss to your forehead, Logan did his best to prepare something you'd like. He was no chef, but after being alive all these years he was no idiot, and could cook pretty well. Plus, this was far from the first time your pain and exhaustion mad it hard to do anything. You liked to cook for him, but Logan liked to return the favor too. He liked taking care of you. He liked cooking for you and helping you bath and nursing you when the days were too hard.

"Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!" He enters the bedroom again. "I lied, there's no eggs. Or Bacon. But I did make soup."

"Soup!" You exclaim, happily sitting up.

"There yuh are..." Logan smiles at seeing you animated again.

After you eat, Logan carries you into a warm bath, gently rubbing down your soapy body in a massage, careful with the tender spots. He works on your legs where he knows it hurts the most, making sure to massage the feet too, where he knows pain can start.

"You're really sweet, you know." You mumble sleepily. Doing nothing all day really takes it out of your when your own body feels like it hates you. "I know you pretend you aren't. But you are."

"Oh, I know." He teases. "You should see me at work. I can't get shit done because I'm smelling every damn daisy out there. I've been written up 3 times."

You can help but laugh at the idea of your big, hunky boyfriend laying on grass, kicking his feet as he smells a wild flower, his boss in the background shaking his fist.

"Oh I bed. Do you also break for butterflies?"

"Every damn day. Can't go a block without hitting my breaks. Hard to get anywhere."

You're giggling now, feeling better as Logan drains the bath. He starts to towel you down before picking you up and carrying you to bed.

"Thank you. For all you do for me." You snuggle up next to him watching your silly little shows. The pain is a little better, but still hurts.

Logan's lips are kissing your neck and face. you know he's not trying to initiate sex, just showing how much he loves just existing with you. "I like doing it, baby. I know it seems like I'm bullshitting you, but when it's for someone you love... really there's nothing easier."

*********

Thanks for the ask!!!!!! feel free to send more in!

[alittlebitofloveliness]

any soda headcanons?

Hi! I hope these suffice, I couldn't help but throw a little bit of Stevepop in :)

Sodapop Curtis Headcanons

-The Curtis house has a half finished basement which is where the laundry machine is, but the ceiling is FULL of spiders and spiderwebs. Both Darry and Pony are PETRIFIED of spiders, like Ponyboy is jumping from foot to foot and hyperventilating and Darry SHRIEKS when he sees one, so its always Soda’s job to de-spider the basement and he absolutely hates it (he's a little scared of them too, but not nearly as bad as his brothers)

-He has the friendship equivalent of those ‘you cheated on me in my dreams and now I’m mad at you”. One time he dreamed Steve left him stranded at the Dingo and was lowkey pissed at him the next day. Poor Steve was SO confused

-Loves both peanut butter and chocolate by themselves, but HATES when they’re combined together. Bro HATES reeses cups with a passion

-After the Curtis parents died he snuck into their room, stole his mother's half full perfume bottle and hid it in his bedside table. Sometimes before he goes to bed, when Ponyboy is busy brushing his teeth, he’ll spritz a little on his wrist because when he closes his eyes and smells her perfume he can pretend his mom is hugging him again.

-Thinks bananas are spicy (they’re not, he’s just mildly allergic but doesn’t realise it. Everyone in the gang thinks he’s making a joke every time he says it. He isn’t.)

-Him and Steve swing dance together at work sometimes when they’re working alone in the garage and his stomach flutters every time Steve dips him 

-Cannot sing to save his life and does it all the time anyway. Like, he sounds like he’s gargling with rocks, it’s actually painful. Dally has literally paid him to shut up before.

-Steve’s pet cat absolutely HATES him and Soda will always and forever be mad about it because “what did I ever do to her???”

-Can’t remember what his dad’s voice sounded like anymore. It haunts him.

-The easiest way to piss him off is to disrespect Steve in front of him. Sodapop is convinced the sun shines from his grumpy best friend’s glaring eyes, and if anyone doesn’t see that he WILL throw hands, no questions asked

-The Curtis’ have a chore jar full of little slips of paper with the really unpleasant chores they only have to do once in a while written on. Every three months they each draw two each so that way it’s fair who does what. EVERY single time Soda ends up having to clean behind the stove and he’s forever bitter about it because “it looks like a crime scene back there Dar and I know it ain’t just my fault!”

-He and Steve gave each other stick and poke tattoos once but his got SUPER infected. He would’ve had to tell Darry and probably go to the hospital if it weren’t for Evie, who luckily had some training from her tribe’s medicine woman and managed to fix him up.

-Him and Darry do rock paper scissors to decide who has to tell Ponyboy when he has a doctors appointment because Pony always gets SO mad and neither of them wanna deal with him

-Once walked in on Two-bit in an, ahem, compromising position, and hasn’t been the same since

-He used to socially drink pretty often but stopped when he realised how much drunk him really wanted to kiss Steve on the mouth

-Started drinking socially again when sober him kissed Steve on the mouth and the world didn’t end

-He draws faces on the eggs in the fridge, partially because he just finds it fun, but also because it always gets Darry to smile and shake his head fondly, and there isn’t enough that makes Darry smile these days

-Darry made him promise when he first started work full-time that he’d keep half his pay check for himself. He promised, but only ever keeps about 10% of what he makes as spending money. He’s determined to make sure neither Darry nor Ponyboy ever find out

-Wishes he was a bit more like either of his brothers, because even though he loves them more than anything, they have more in common with each other than they willl ever have with him and sometimes he feels like the odd man out in his own family, especially now his mom and dad are gone

-Had asthma as a kid but he grew out of it by the time he turned 10

[cmdrfupa]

Birthday Girl

Shoko x Fem!Reader

The first gentle beams of late-morning sunlight stretched across the room, spilling over the half-drawn curtains and landing softly on Shoko’s face. She blinked, wincing at the light before rolling over with a groggy sigh. You laid beside her, reading through the morning news. You heard her groans and watched her come to life with a soft, amused smile.

“Happy birthday, sunshine,” you murmured, brushing a stray lock of hair off Shoko’s forehead.

Shoko squinted up at you, still half-asleep. “Feels the same as yesterday,” she muttered, her voice thick and low with sleep.

“Well, that’s the beauty of aging gracefully, isn’t it?” You teased, leaning in to plant a kiss on her forehead. Shoko gave a small, drowsy smile, her hand coming up to rest on yours.

“Mmm, I’ll take gracefully over anything dramatic,” she replied, sliding her arms around your waist and pulling you closer. “But you’re really gonna stay in bed all day and flatter me? Or are you plotting something?”

You tilted your head thoughtfully. “Who says I can’t do both?”

Shoko laughed, low and soft, then tugged you closer. “I knew you had an ulterior motive.”

“Maybe I just wanted to spoil you,” you replied swiftly, tone half-serious, half-teasing. You brushed your fingers through Shoko’s hair, letting the comfortable silence fill the air for a moment. “Besides, it’s your birthday. I thought maybe you’d want a change from… I don’t know, the usual?”

“Oh?” Shoko raised an eyebrow, amusement dancing in her dark eyes. “And what exactly is ‘the usual’ to you?”

You made a thoughtful face. “Well, we could start with your usual breakfast of reheated coffee, fresh cigarette and a banana on the go. A real celebration of elegance.”

“Hey,” Shoko protested, pretending to look offended. “That banana is a staple. And I’d like to see you pull an all-nighter and still make time for breakfast.” But there was no real bite in her voice—only that familiar dry humor she wielded like a subtle weapon, hiding warmth beneath her sarcasm.

You grinned, unfazed. “I know, I know. But for once, I’d like you to enjoy something fresh. Something made right in front of you, with love, preferably.”

Shoko smirked, feigning skepticism. “Something edible and that I didn’t have to prepare myself? This might actually be a birthday miracle.”

You laughed, playfully swatting Shoko’s arm before nestling back into her side, resting your head on Shoko’s shoulder. “Come on, it’s not that far-fetched. I even bought all the ingredients last night. You’re getting the works. Eggs, toast, maybe even something sweet to top it off.”

“Hmm,” Shoko hummed, closing her eyes. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to impress me.”

“Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m trying to remind you to take it easy for once.”

There was a soft warmth in your voice, a kind of gentle insistence that made Shoko’s expression soften. She tilted her head slightly, pressing her lips to your forehead.

“Alright, alright,” she conceded. “You’ve convinced me. I’ll indulge in this grand birthday breakfast of yours. But only if you agree not to hold it over my head the next time I’m on a hospital shift.”

With a victorious grin, your face lit up. “Deal.”

You both laid there for a moment, savoring the stillness, until Shoko gave you a gentle nudge.

“Well, since you’re so set on making my day special, what else do you have planned? Don’t tell me it’s just breakfast,” Shoko teased, her eyes glinting with curiosity.

“Oh, there’s a bit more,” you whispered, looking smug. “But I’m not going to give everything away. That would ruin the surprise, wouldn’t it?”

Shoko arched an eyebrow. “You know I hate surprises.”

You laughed softly, teasing. “You hate everyone fussing over you. There’s a difference.”

Shoko rolled her eyes, but there was no mistaking the small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Alright, so what’s the compromise?”

“I’ll tell you one thing, and you get to choose which part. Morning or evening?”

Shoko pretended to consider this seriously, crossing her arms and tapping a finger against her cheek. “Let’s go with evening. Save the suspense for later.”

Eyes sparkling with excitement, you propped yourself up and grinned. “Oh, you’re gonna love it. Tonight, I booked a private stargazing spot for us, just outside the city. They’re even setting up a little campfire for us.”

For a moment, Shoko just stared at you, surprised. “Stargazing? Out in the wild?”

You nodded, expression softening. “I know you don’t get much time away from… everything. Thought you’d appreciate a few quiet hours out there. Just us.”

The idea touched her more than she’d expected. Shoko reached out, squeezing your hand before kissing your palm. “That sounds… perfect. Thank you.”

A faint heat crept over your cheeks, but you only smiled and squeezed Shoko’s hand back.

“But,” Shoko added, a wry glint returning to her eyes, “you are still going to make me that birthday breakfast, right?”

Rollin your eyes, you laughed. “Of course. And if you’re good, maybe I’ll even throw in a side of coffee that wasn’t made twelve hours ago.”

“Wow. Now that’s what I call love,” Shoko deadpanned, chuckling as she leaned over to kiss you.

With one last playful nudge, you slid out of bed, grabbing Shoko’s hand and tugging her along. “Come on, birthday girl. Let’s start this day off right.”

You headed into the kitchen, the morning light now fully spilling through the windows, stretching out the warm glow across the small, cozy kitchen. Shoko watched you move around, humming softly, handling each ingredient with care. She could feel the quiet affection in every movement, every glance—a kind of love that didn’t need grand gestures or dramatic words to feel profound.

As she sipped her freshly brewed coffee, Shoko leaned back in her chair, a genuine smile on her lips as she took in the moment. Maybe birthdays weren’t so bad after all.

[strandnreyes]

no rules in breakable heaven

E // 75k // complete

Carlos doesn't know what to expect when he takes a position as a private chef in the Hamptons for the summer. All he knows is that he needs a job, and one that puts a roof over his head, gives him a chance to practice his craft, and will look great on his CV is more than he could ask for. Turns out he has no idea what he’s in for.

—

“I’m Carlos. I’m the—”

“I know who you are,” TK says flatly, not sparing a glance as he pulls a bottle of water out of the fridge and then lets go of the door so it slams shut.

Carlos presses his lips together at the unexpected apathy, sinking back a step with a tight nod and a resigned, “Okay.”

He returns to his task, assuming TK’s time in the kitchen will be just fleeting as everywhere else Carlos has been since he got here, but when Carlos goes to grab the oat milk from the fridge, he sees that TK hasn’t left just yet.

He pops his hip against the counter and curls his lips around his bottle of water before saying, “What’re you making?”

Carlos looks away from him, trying to remember if the recipe he knows by heart calls for half a cup of milk or a whole. “Pancakes,” he answers.

With TK out of his line of sight, Carlos can think more clearly. It’s definitely a half.

He adds it to the blender at the same time he hears a huff of laughter from behind him. “My dad’s not going to eat pancakes,” TK tells him in amusement, like they’re playing a game and Carlos’ loss is a win for TK.

But Carlos doesn’t go down that easily, glancing over his shoulder to say, “They’re gluten free. Made with oats and bananas.”

There’s a moment of silence and then TK’s resigned, “Right.”

Carlos smiles to himself as he turns back around, but TK still doesn’t leave. Carlos can feel his presence, the eyes on him that make him feel flushed and nervous as he does something as simple as cracking an egg.

“Do you prefer strawberries or blueberries on top?” Carlos asks in an attempt to take control of the conversation, to gain back some of the power he feels like TK has over him by just standing and watching for a reason Carlos can’t figure out.

TK raises a brow. “Isn’t it sort of your job to decide what to make?”

Carlos plasters on a fake smile as he shrugs. “You seem pretty adamant on giving me your opinion. I thought you might have something to say about that, too.”

—

thanks @carlos-in-glasses for creating this!

Rules: Either: choose one of your published fics (or a WIP if you'd prefer), create a moodboard for it and share it along with a snippet. Or: Create a moodboard for your fave episode of the show, fave character, or a fic someone else has written that you love, and share it with some sentences about why it's a fave! (And tag people!)

tagging @reyesstrand @paperstorm @lightningboltreader @emsprovisions @heartstringsduet @ironheartwriter @whatsintheboxmh @tellmegoodbye @eclectic-sassycoweyes @she-walked-away @henrygrass @herefortarlos + open tag!!

[phoenixyfriend]

Star Wars AU Masterlist: General AUs

Navigation Post

Fun fact, tumblr allows 250 links on the old editor and 100 in the new. So. Network of masterlists. This is one of sixteen masterposts I have for Star Wars. These are just the most ‘generic’ of the AUs.

(Also this post has been randomly deleted at least once so uhhhh great thanks to the wayback machine holy shit.)

RANDOM AUS IN CANONVERSE

Misconceptions AU

Fem!Obi-Wan - not the same AU, but related: hair and makeup

Magically attractive Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan is Immortal (and it’s not great for his self preservation)

Padme/Sabe timeline

Jedi who leave the Order as a way to save it

“AUs where Obi-Wan gets adopted by Mandalorians” but I made it pro-Jedi and also Obitine

I did not know that about Haiti, whoops

Omegaverse Jedi should be LESS intense about sexism, not more

Pre-TPM

Obi-Wan fakes his death on Melida/Daan

Dooku knows Jango before Galidraan AU

Slutty Xanatos

Sharad Hett finds baby Anakin in Mos Espa and has to Deal With That

Shake that (Stewjoni) Bagpipe - various instruments with various characters

Anakin & Obi-Wan age swap, ft. Anakin and Satine being saltmates

Mand’alor Satine

Rael finds and keeps Komari - Expanded

Force-Sensitive Satine Kryze

Xanatos-Obi age swap (Xanatos/Bo-Katan)

Aayla/Bo-Katan meet during The Year On The Run

Quinlan meets toddler Anakin pre-canon, and Obi-Wan has a contact on-planet (Shmi) when TPM comes around

Raised a Sith Anakin, except Dooku snaps up Anakin and his mom from Mustafar since he’s better at Childcare than Sidious (who is annoyed at this situation)

That time Qui-Gon turned into a tree (via @willowcrowned, with fic by @smilebackwards)

Pre-TCW

Anakin&Obi-Wan, Jedi Stuff

Anakin’s paternal DNA came from Palpatine via Sith Magic

Anakin Skywalker, Secret Son of a Disgraced King

* Kick Up Your Heels - The Summary

Drag Queen AU - Oh, That’s Just Ben

Obi-Wan Wins a Moon

Tiniest Assistant Teacher

Anakin Loses his Connection to the Force, Time For Career Guidance - Addendum

Amnesiac Qui-Gon

Taking out Obi-Wan Kenobi (MaulObi)

Murder Puppy Anakin

Anakin the Snake - This AU is in the Wider AUs masterlist

One of several reasons Qui-Gon may not have been the best teacher for Anakin

Anakin’s teenage rebellion

Through strange coincidence, Obi-Wan and Shmi are actually stepsiblings

The Jedi are Kyber

Best masters for Anakin when Obi-Wan and Mace aren’t available

Obikin Sleeping Beauty AU - TCW Anakin finds a hot guy in cryo, turns out it’s Qui-Gon’s missing padawan from like twelve years ago

Mandalorian and Clone Stuff

Bo-Katan Decides She’s Siding With Family

* Kamino Belongs to the Clones (ft. banana)

Secret Clones AU

Anakin finds the clones a year early

In which Bo-Katan, or possibly Jango, breaks the cycle of violence that raised them

The Darksaber Picks Satine

Sith&Other Stuff

Ventress vs. Absolute Primogeniture

Maul ‘acquires’ Ferus Olin

Dooku Acquires a YA Sith Maul, following up on Sidious’s notes: I can teach you the ways of the Dark Side. Dooku, following literal decades of habit: …I can domesticate him.

Dooku becomes Count of Serenno… and brings the Jedi with him

Dooku hasn’t Fallen yet, and adopts teen Ventress, who has

An Accountant in Theed

Parenting Focus

Obitine Raise Anakin, ft. Grampa Dooku

* Mand’Alor Korkie Kenobi

The secret accidental Obitine baby isn’t Korkie, it’s Bo-Katan - Bokkin addendum

Obitine’s Pregnancy Scare

Obi, Protect Them

She’s Little Sister Shaped

Power Limiter Robes

Quinlan’s Smear Campaign

Artoo and Threepio adopt Boba

* Congratulations, Master Jinn, It’s a Boy!

Anakin isn’t human and reproduces via Space Parthenogenesis (and possibly lays an egg)

A “Stewjoni are all capable of pregnancy” fic where Obi-Wan offers to have Bail and Breha’s heir for them

Calligraphy I prompted from @theshitpostcalligrapher

Bo-Katan is Korkie’s bio mom, but got him removed to finish gestation in a tube (like clones) as soon as she found out because she was sixteen and not at all ready

Transmasc Obi-Wan babytraps ‘escaped Naboo intact’ Maul, who is now having difficulty deciding what to do with himself - Why we love MaulObi

TCW

Main: Anakin

Anakin Assists the Jedi Council While On Medical Leave (with a Horrible Miscommunication Addendum by @willowcrowned) - Now with a longform (and really good) fic on AO3! Sith Lightning, Paperwork, and Other Extreme Sports by @deadstarsrisingsblog

Chip Reactivation AU

The Romance Movie Curse - Ficlet written by @chaoticevilbean

Deserters? What deserters?

Anakin accidentally used the Force to make people like him, and is now panicking in an attempt to undo All of it (especially Padme)

Mace gets de-aged, hooks up with Anakin (much to the distress of Obi-Wan and Depa)

* Ficlet: Because I Fell Too

In for a Penny (Anakin confesses to the Tuskens)

Truth Serum AU (Anakin confesses to the Tuskens) - It’s all fun and games until it isn’t

In Which Palpatine Leaves the Door Open (Anakin confesses to the Tuskens) - A conjugal visit

Voluntary servitude (slavery) as the highest form of penitence and reparation on Tatooine, Anakin’s apology to the Tuskens - A different response - The context of Anakin’s childhood

Anakin invents a twin brother

Undercover Anakin&Mace have to pretend to be father and son

Anakin becomes aware of the fourth wall and ‘solves’ his problems by leaking nudes and otherwise fucking up his life “The way to break free of a story’s gravity is to consider every possible option and then pick the one that makes the absolute least sense.”

Sith Heir Anakin arranged marriage to second daughter of Mandalore Bo-Katan

Everyone Anakin meets is obsessed with keeping him safe post-Mortis and he hates it (horror)

Main: Obi-Wan

Mandalorian Mamma Mia (AKA Korkie lies about his dad)

(Most Obi-Wan focused AUs are in other lists).

Main: Ahsoka

Ahsoka gets Winter-Soldiered (This already exists and is much better than I could have managed)

Artificially Evil Ahsoka (Mortis had some lasting effects)

Ahsoka accidentally becomes a Film Noir Private Detective after leaving the Jedi, and derails all of Palpatine’s plots

Ahsoka’s crush on Barriss is “notice me senpai”

Bosoka arranged marriage when?

Main: Disaster Trio

Ghost on the Wire AU

* Anakin’s DNA Wish

Even Ventress Sees You’re Dad - Anakin talks too much

Disaster Lineage on SpaceTube

SW Prequels “Watch Your Own Series” AU (chrono)

Anakin & Barriss

Obi-Wan joins Dooku in AotC as a ploy to gather information, fails upwards

Anakin Accuses Obi-Wan of being Blonde

Sudden Soulmarks

Ahsoka accidentally outs Palpatine as a Sith through the use of incomprehensible emoji jibberish

Main: Clones

In which Cody and Rex Accidentally God-Mode - Kix Fights Rex’s Blood

Furbie the Coruscant Guard

Clint and Matt

Ghost Kitten Clones

Keep the Jedi Out of It, now with art by @lemoneste

In Which Fox Arrests His Boss - On a Technicality

Bly’s Glitching Brain Chip

Commander Fox is the Organas’ sugar baby (non-sexual, mostly)

Rex/Ventress - stranded together

Sponsor a Battalion

Fox arrests some senators for littering

Cody and Fox become building safety inspectors post-war

Clones deserve to be frat boys. Also date Anakin.

Rex/Barriss, in which Barriss is Fucked Up (but trying to do better)

Echo takes Dogma under his wing

Main: Other

Sidious and the Worst Kidnapping Ever

Who Gave Ventress the Keys? - Additions by others

Yoda commits a murder, blames the dementia

Shrink ‘em

Necromancied Qui-Gon kidnaps Ventress (she’s a Free Grad Student) - Addendum

Ventress Gets Married to Fuck Up Sidious’s Day

Dookasta interviews/negotiations, TCW as the galaxy’s ugliest divorce

Korkie picks up the Darksaber, and sees Dead Mand’alore

Satine manages to piss off both sides of the war by taking in defecting clones

Parenting Focus

Ahsoka Steals a Baby

Rattatak Death Swap

Baby 501st Legion

Oh, So THAT’S What People Think

Fairy Jango Fett

* Big Sis ‘Soka

Anakin volunteers to be a surrogate (the timing is… not optimal)

Trans Anakin explains that he is NOT the father

* Implications of a Miracle Pregnancy

If Obi-Wan gets pregnant, Anakin’s going to be the one getting invested in the future nibling

Grieving with Newborns (Padme still dies, and Anakin goes to Obi-Wan for help) - Addendum - Addendum 2

Ventress gets pregnant as a get-out-of-jail card

Anakin and Obi-Wan babytalk the twins differently

Post-O66

* Eldritch Ahsoka (1k plus notes)

- Speaker of Mortis

The Mortis Song

Emperor Bail - Addendum

Pirate Mace (Mace survives O66, joins Hondo) - Tax Evasion

Yularen’s Radio Show

Yularen undercover on the Death Star (feeding info to the Rebellion)

* When Vader Fails (in the Wrong Direction) (quick note)

* Owen Needs a Favor

Korkie gets dragged along on Bo-Katan’s insurgency plots

What’s Korkie Up To?

Barriss breaks out of prison and incidentally joins up with Rex

Barriss breaks out of prison and finds Ahsoka because she needs an external moral compass

Quinlan finds, frees, and press-gangs Bly into helping him fuck up the Empire, in Aayla’s memory/honor

Ventress Bothers Darth Vader

Bo-Katan bothers Ben Kenobi

Vader hallucinates so intensely that he destroys the Empire because he talked to a ghost who was disappointed in him.

Vader gets turned into an anime waifu and everyone hates that

A trad Mando of Din’s type finds Merrin, and decides to return her to her people. The only one still alive that they know of is Ventress.

Padme’s Handmaidens: Let’s Scam The Empire Into Thinking Amidala Is Still Alive

Original Trilogy and Beyond

Han’s Anti-Force Force-Sensitivity

Bumbling Vampire Han Solo

The ghosts of all those murdered Jedi Kids are haunting Vader but he’s just… too pathetic for them to try that hard

Mace’s ghost mentors Luke - Jocasta’s ghost mentors Leia

ANH Obi-Wan pretends to be senile, lost, and politely befuddled on the Death Star when noticed by Stormtroopers

Rex and Wolffe, dying Cody

Boba Accidentally Acquires The Darksaber, And Now He Can’t Get Rid Of It

Vader skypes his kids from jail

Mpreg Vader - This AU is in the Wider AUs Masterlist

Trans Vaderkin pregnancy, prenatal addiction to the Dark Side - Followup

Darth Vader gets turned into a cute teen girl and makes it everyone’s problem

Luke finds Decrepit Old Hermit Dooku hiding out on some mountain and recruits him to the new Jedi School before anyone can tell him why that’s a bad idea

The Mandalorian:

Ahsoka’s got Beef (The Mandalorian)

Boba’s Older Brothers

No, REALLY Old

Whacking sticks

Maul’s Back - Now with art by @its-not-a-pen

What I would want out of The Mandalorian            

Bo-Katan knows Luke is Vader’s kid, keeps her mouth shut

Bo-Katan fucking with Obi-Wan’s Ghost

Get some actual Mando’a in here, Disney, you cowards

BobaDin but Fennec’s making fun of Boba the whole time

Satine is one of the darksaber ghosts - Addendum

Tradition as Din’s Covert vs. Tradition as Death Watch

Middle-Aged Foppish Duke in Distress Korkie is very enamored by Mand’alor Din regularly rescuing him

[charliehoennam]

Aww I love your writing so much!!!! 🩷🩷 The detective Loki A-Z felt so accurate 🥹 he’s so precious. Can you write something that kind of goes off the jealousy area? Like it’s a coworker who reader gets close with and is honestly clueless to the flirting?

F o r g i v e n

a/n: here you go, nonny! i couldn't agree more. David is my baby and he deserves some happiness and a warm hug

pairing: Detective David Loki x reader

summary: a new co-worker makes a misguided move on the reader and david gets pissed

warnings: language, angst, arguing (if i missed one, lemme know. minors, do not interact!)

SHARING IS CARING, SO PLEASE REBLOG

Sliding your legs over the edge of your side of the bed, you sit up and rub the sleep from your eyes. David’s on the phone with O’Malley. You already know he’s gotta go into work today.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in 30 tops” he says lowly in his gravely morning voice before hanging up his cell phone.

“I’ll make breakfast” you smile sleepily at him.

You reach out to reassuringly squeeze his arm to let him know it’s alright. He’s already mentally beating himself up for waking you up and not being able to be enjoy his morning off with you as he had promised.

You make your way through the one-story house and head to the kitchen to get his coffee going. You decide on making a hearty breakfast because you know very well David will skip lunch today.

So, you settle for a nice egg, bacon, and cheese sandwich on toasted bagels with cream cheese. You make two for him so he can take one to work and hopefully eat while he’s on the road. You even cut up some bananas, apples, strawberries and oranges to make a little fruit salad.

David isn’t the healthiest guy around, but he deeply appreciates that you care for him and his health. He never really had anyone to care about him – much less his health – so he’ll sure make to eat every bite.

You hear his electric razor shut off after his shower. A while later, he comes into the kitchen with his hair slicked back. His light blue button-up shirt is open, exposing his white sleeveless undershirt. His gold chain dangles and dances around his neck as he buttons the cuffs of his shirt.

You can’t help but smile to yourself. You wish you could stop him and slide his button-up off. You love it when he wears his undershirt and chain around the house.

“Honey, think you can get a ride to work today?” he asks kissing the back of your head as you slice up the fruit.

“Yeah, babe. It’s no problem. I already texted Jared and asked him to pick me up.”

His hands working the buttons closed on his front stop as his eyes narrow in on the back of your head.

“Jared? You already texted him?”

“Yeah. I figured you’d leave before me.”

“Oh…”

You know that there’s something he’s holding back from you. You turn your head to glance at him, hoping to get a read of him as you slide the chopped-up fruit in a container.

“Is there a problem with that?”

You already know the answer to that.

“No. Nothing. Just didn’t know you and Jared were so close already. I mean, didn’t he just start there like two weeks ago?”

His eyebrows rise and his lip press flat as he looks down at his hands, letting them finish their work on his shirt.

“Two months ago, but he was pretty much on his own, so I figured I’d be the first to befriend him. The first weeks are the worst when you start working at a new place.”

“Yeah, I get that. Just didn’t think you were already texting each other.”

“Dave, there’s nothing going on between us if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. Your face says it all.”

You’re slightly hurt that he would think there could be something brewinh between you and Jared. It may come from a place of worry, but isn't that trust is for?

“Look, I gotta get going. I’ll see you tonight.”

You nod as you hand him the containers of sandwiches and his travel mug. He leaves you with a kiss on your forehead and you watch him leave, letting the tension hang in the air. You try to put it on the mental backburner as you head up to get ready for your day.

Hearing a honk coming from outside, you look out the window and confirm Jared’s arrival. You grab your bag, keys and phone before heading out the door and walking to Jared’s car.

“Hey, Jare. Thanks for the late-notice lift. David got called in and my car’s still at the shop.”

“You know I don’t mind it at all. It’s been almost a couple days though. Have they given you any updates on it?”

“Something about the starting motor failing. Solenoid damage, I think? They have to replace some coils or some shit.”

“That shouldn’t take more than a few hours to replace though.”

“David says the same thing. He’s getting pretty impatient. Said he’s gonna stop by there today to check up. You know how some mechanics can be when they see a girl with car trouble.” You complete with a roll of your eyes.

“Yeah, some pricks take advantages. I know a thing or two about cars. I’d be happy to look into it for you if you want?”

“Really? Yeah, yeah. That’d be great. I’m gonna wait for David though. He said he’d stop by there today. I’ll give you a heads up though.”

After arriving to work, you head straight for your sector to settle in. You can’t help but notice how kind Jared seems to be towards you in this new light that David casted earlier in the morning.

Jared always offers to refill your water bottle whenever he gets up, always offers snacks, brings you back your favorite coffee or tea after his breaks, compliments your hair or nails or even your perfume. During the whole day, you can’t help but notice he doesn’t treat his other co-workers the same. You begin to wonder if you’ve led him on to believe you’re more than just co-workers or if it’s because he’s new and not very close to the others.

You decide to shake the thought from your head and go on about your work. However, with this new concept in the back of your mind, you start to politely deny Jared’s kind offers. He doesn’t seem hurt by it. A small wave of relief washes over you. Maybe you were just in over your head and overthinking what David had told you.

Around closing time, Jared stops by your station to check if you need a ride home. You check your phone, hoping David texted you with a reply about picking you up, but there’s no new messages.

Your heart sinks a bit. You’d hoped he could’ve at least replied. Is he really that upset with you?

“Yeah, I could use a ride.”

The house isn’t very far. You could walk home, but the rain is already pouring down heavy. And this time of year, the cold winter air is starting to arrive, slickening the streets and sidewalks with ice.

You smile to hide that you wished you didn’t need a ride from Jared. You know it’s not gonna make things easier to deal with at home.

Part of you thinks David is acting ridiculously like a child that's too selfish to share a toy. Only you’re not a toy. You’re a human being and you’re his fiancée. You’re supposed to be getting married.

The other part of you wonders how you would feel if it were the other way around. If he had a new partner on the job and spent hours with her. With everything Jared does for you, would you be ok with someone else treating David the same way?

Trying to settle the internal dispute, you remember that it’s your intentions that really counts. You’re not breaking his trust because you have no intention of getting with Jared. You’re friends and that’s all there is. And you would want David to have a good friend too in your situation.

You walk out together, gabbling on about the day as you climb into his car.

As Jared turns onto your street, you’re laughing over an amusing situation you’d survived in your first week at the company with an unsatisfied client. Jared had had his first unpleasant interaction with a frustrated client. Although he handled it pretty well, he was still a bit disappointed about it.

Grateful the rain has let up, you notice Dave’s car parked in the driveway. Why didn’t he at least text you back if he was home? You feel a slight pang in your chest, but you shove it down as you continue your conversation. Jared knows your line of though has been thrown off and he can only guess it has to do with the black Crown Victoria perched in front of the garage.

“It can happen to anyone,” you say looking up at the tall brown-haired co-worker as he turns the car off, parking in front of your house. You hear a door close from outside and keys jingling, but you don’t think much of it. Most of your neighbors get home at this time as well.

“You can’t please everybody and you have to accept that,” you resume looking down at the dashboard. “You’re not here to please, you’re here to do your job.”

“You’re an amazing person, you know that?”

Something is different about the way Jared is looking at you. It’s intense and you don’t like it.

He leans over the arm rest/storage compartment separating the front seats and places a surprising kiss on your cheek.

You quick react by pulling yourself back and gently push him away with a hand on his shoulder.

“Whoa, Jared. That’s sweet, but i-it’s not like that. We’re just friends. You realize that, right?” you ask frowning at him. “I’m happily engaged.”

“Y-yeah... I figured. I thought I-I’d shoot my shot. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He looks down embarrassed as his cheeks blush a bright regretful shade of red. “I misread things. I’m sorry. That’s on me. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine. Just… Don’t do that again, alright?”

“Yeah. Definitely will not” he chuckles nervously. “It won’t happen again. I promise. Just like you said, we’re only friends.”

You’re not really sure how to react. You can tell he feels really awkward about the whole thing, but you just want to get out of there as quickly as possible.

Flashing a shy, nervous smile at him, you thank him for the ride and climb out of the car. You slowly walk up the concrete path, digging through you bag for your keys.

Upon finding them, you look up and freeze.

David is standing in the path, glaring at the young man in the car. As he keeps his furious gaze locked on Jared, his hands move to rest on his hip. Pushing back his black winter jacket, his gold badge and his standard issue gun are exposed to remind Jared of who he is.

You don’t realize it’s a non-verbal threat. You just think he’s pissed judging by the constant hard blinking of his eyes.

“David, it’s not what you th-“ you start only to be cut off.

“In the house. Right now.”

He has a point. This isn’t a topic to discuss outside for all your neighbors to hear.

You walk quietly past him and march up the porch. You leave the door open for him, but he’s not far behind you. Only a couple moments since he’d been staring Jared down until he finally drove away.

The door slams as he enters the house.

“Are you fucking serious? There’s nothing going on, right?” He asks loudly and angrily.

“Yes, there’s nothing going on, Dave.” You say trying to stay calm, unwilling to match his tone. You’d be angry too in his place.

“You expect me to believe that after what I just saw?!”

“Yes, because that’s the truth. I know how that looked like. He thought I was sending him signs of interest. I won’t lie about that. But I didn’t want him to do that. There is absolutely no interest on my behalf!”

“The fucking chicken hawk just kissed you!”

“I didn’t want him to! I told him that! Maybe if you had picked me up from work or at least fucking texted me back, I wouldn’t have gotten in that fucking car in the first place!” you seethe at him.

“Oh, so this is my fault??” he snaps back at you bewildered.

He opens his mouth to speak, but just in that same moment, his cell phone rings. A hushed ‘fuck’ escapes from his lips as he answers the call. You just roll your eyes and fold your arm across your chest because you already know what that means.

The conversation is quick. You can’t tell much; all you know is that Captain O’Malley is calling him into the station.

“We’re not done on this”, he says with a raised finger in your direction and opens the door behind him.

The door slams shut. You close your eyes and lean against the wall, wishing you had never gotten in that car.

Dragging your tired body up the stairs, you make your way to your room. You notice the comforter is rumpled on David’s side along with his pillows. It’s not as you had it in the morning; it was neat and made to look inviting. You sigh and run a hand through your hair. Now you know why he didn’t answer you at first; he had fallen asleep.

You set your bag atop of the dresser that you share. You dig out your phone to set it to charge. There’re a couple unread messages and 2 missed calls; all from David and right around the time you’d left work.

Sorry, babe. Fell asleep and just woke up.

On my way right now!

You feel guilty thinking about how you could’ve avoided the whole ordeal. Now, David is mad at you and you’re mad at him for thinking that you wanted Jared to kiss you.

You head into the ensuite bathroom to shower and let the water wash away the stress of your day. As the warm water pours over you, you just hope this isn’t what ends your relationship.

Once you’re cleaned and a bit more relaxed, you go about the house to start on some of the chores. Deciding on a simple, quick and easy dinner, you sit on the couch to eat by yourself.

It’s been hours since David’s left and you miss him. You just want him to come home, so you can tell him how much you miss and love him.

You look down at your phone. He read your “I’m sorry” text, but he hasn’t replied. You wonder if it’s because he’s busy or he just doesn’t want to talk to you.

Wanting to stay up and wait for him, you start on the dirty dishes and pots in the kitchen. Then the laundry. You can’t stay still. It bothers you too much and you have to stay awake. There’s nothing left to do around the house, so you plot back down on the couch and surf through the channels to try to find something to watch.

It’s around midnight when you hear his car pull into the driveway. You race to the window to look out and make sure it’s him. He looks tired as he approaches the house with his keys in hand. His shoulders are hunched from the weight of the day’s stress.

You stand by the window and watch as he drags himself inside. He closes the door and hangs up his jacket before kicking his boots off. His back is turned to you and he hasn’t seen you yet.

When he does, he gazes at you for a moment. He’s too tired to argue, but he loves the fact that you’re wearing his sweater.

“You hungry? I made dinner. I can make you a plate,” you say softly breaking the silence.

“Yeah, I could eat.”

It’s quiet between you both. It’s a moment of cease fire. The elephant is still in the room, but you know how his weighs heavily on him. Especially with the case he’s working on. You don’t know much about it. David likes to keep that away from you. All you know is what you heard on the news and that there are kids involved. Those types of cases hit too close to home for him.

You leave him to eat in peace and tell him that you’re heading up to bed.

Assuming he’ll sleep on the couch since he must be upset still, you head to the bathroom to have a final tinkle before bed and brush your teeth. You crawl into bed and hug your pillow as you stare at the wall, luminated only by the fluorescent orange light of the street lamps.

Tears prick your eyes. You hate this distance between you and him. It’s ridiculous, but you know it’s not the time for it.

You hear David’s footsteps coming up the stairs and down the hall. The door creaks as he walks into the bedroom.

He goes about his usual routine; set his ring and chain on top of the dresser along with his badge. Then he walks over to the nightstand to open the drawer there. He pulls his gun from it's holster and makes sure its' safety is on. He had set it before already, but it never hurt to double check.

Soon after setting the gun in the lockbox within the drawer, he quietly makes his way to the bathroom. He opens the squeaky faucet and water pours from the shower.

He doesn’t take long. It’s a quick shower to wash his hair and body. He’s too tired to do more than he has to.

You hear him come into the room to grab a pair of boxers from his drawers. He seems quiet and still. Though your back is turned to him, you feel his eyes on you.

He stands still, hands on the wooden dresser as he mentally contemplates what to do. He knows it wasn’t your fault. He knows it wasn’t you who kissed Jared. He saw you pull away and push him back. He knows you didn’t like it or expect it just as much as him.

His head drops and his eyes close. In truth, the time at work had kept him too busy to think about it much, but he did think about you. Part of him felt you were like a victim, caught up in the crime with no fault. The other part of him wondered what could have happened to influence Jared to kiss you.

With a heavy sigh, you sense his footsteps approaching the bed. You expect to feel the wool blanket at the foot of the bed slide off along with his pillow.

To your surprise, you feel the comforter lifts behind you allowing a cool breeze to creep onto your back. Your heart beats faster. The mattress dips with his heavy frame. And you feel an arm drape over your waist.

“You awake?” His voice is a whisper in the dark.

You reply with a nod. You don’t want him to see you’re crying, though you know it’s inevitable.

“Can we talk?”

You quickly wipe your eyes in an attempt to omit the evidence of your pain. Turning onto your other side, you’re face to face. His hand doesn’t leave your waist. You let him slide underneath your shirt to feel your warmth.

“I don’t wanna fight. I don’t wanna argue,” he starts.

“Neither do I, Dave.” Your voice is soft as you reach to tenderly hold his bicep. You want to pull him close and hold him forever, but that might be too much.

“Are you really happy being with me?”

Your heart breaks to think that he feels like you might not be happy with him. You open your mouth to answer him, desperate to chase away his fear, but he continues.

“I know I’m not the best partner. I know for sure I haven’t been in the past. In some relationships, I didn’t even try to be. But I’m trying, sweetheart. I’m trying real hard because I love you and I want to be with you. I don’t know if it’s enou-“

You can’t listen to him anymore.

“Listen to me, Dave. I love you. You are more than enough for me and you make me the happiest in the world. And that’s enough for me. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You sure about that?” he asks with pleading eyes.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Jared is just a dude I felt bad for at work. I was just trying to be a friend, that’s all. But he misread my intentions. That’s it, that’s all that happened. And I’m gonna distance myself from him because I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”

David feels relieved to hear your solution. He didn’t want risk sounding like a possessive jerk and ask you to not talk to Jared anymore, but he likes that you’re willing to make that change willingly for the sake of your relationship.

After all, he can’t be surprised someone else would want to have you.  The minute he met you, he wanted you for himself as well. He’s just lucky he got to have his chance before anyone did.

He smiles tiredly at you and closes his eyes as he rests his forehead against yours.

“Think you can forgive me for being a dick earlier? I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”

“I don’t know. You might just have to make it up to me” you tease with a playful smirk, getting a low chuckle out of him.

“Whatever you want. Just name it.”

[janicho88]

I Got You- Chapter 7

Pairing- Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Female! Kazansky reader

Word count- 3,398

Warnings- Language, mentions of domestic violence, injuries, and abuse, abusive boyfriend, hurt reader, protective Jake. If I missed something, please let me know.

A/N- Before we get any further into this, there will be a few differences from the movie. Ice was sick, but beat it, the aviators are there for a six-week training, not three. I’m sure there are going to be Naval inaccuracies. The first few chapters will be a little heavy, but we will move past that. This chapter is un beta'd, all mistakes are mine. Sorry it has taken so long to update, well anything. Here is my birthday treat to you this year!

Summary- When you have finally reached a breaking point, you call the one person you trust for help. He’s never seen you as more than a friend, but he is the person you know you’re safest with.  It’s been months since he has had so much as a text from you, but Jake Seresin would do anything for the Navy princess he met years ago.  The pilot knows she means more to him than he ever will to her, but he will do anything for her.

Series Masterlist

 The sun streaming in the open curtain wakes Jake before his alarm does.  He starts to stretch before noticing you have once again curled right up to him.  A small smile appears on his face as he looks down at you half on his chest.  He doesn’t want to dwell on it, but this is definitely something he could get used to.

Trying to slide out of bed without waking you up isn’t as successful as Jake was hoping.  You try to tighten your arm around him, but end up moving your wrist enough to aggravate it.  Sitting up quickly, you hold your casted wrist with your good hand.

“I’m sorry,” Jake starts apologizing to you, “I was trying not to wake you.”

“It’s my fault,” you automatically reply.  The soreness in your throat has you wincing slightly.

“Stay here, I’ll go grab the ice and a pain pill.”  Jake was out of the room before you could stop him. 

Carefully getting up, you follow him downstairs. He looks up from your bottle of medication as you enter the kitchen.

“You didn’t have to come down, I was going to bring it up.”

“I know, but you need to get yourself ready, and not worry about me so you aren’t late again.  I can take care of this for myself.”  He starts to argue, but you cut him off.  “Really Jake, I can do it.  It’s not the first time.”  

You see his face harden at the reminder that Josh has done this to you before.  As his jaw clenches, you put your good hand on his cheek, “I’m okay, please go get yourself ready.”

He hesitates but finally returns upstairs to shower and get dressed in his uniform.  After he exits, you start the coffee maker for him, and make a quick trip to the downstairs bathroom before returning to the kitchen.  

Forgetting about the ice and pills, you start getting eggs and bacon out of the fridge so you can make Jake breakfast before he leaves for work.  You’ve never had to cook one handed before, and it’s trickier than you were anticipating. The eggs finish up just as you hear his footsteps on the stairs, looking around you realize you forgot to get him toast, and you hurry and put that in before he enters.  

Looking around the kitchen as he enters Jake turns to find you carefully flipping bacon, “What’s all this darlin’?”

“I was trying to get your breakfast finished before you got down here.”

“I appreciate this, but you really don’t have to do all this.  You’re hurt, I can make my own while you rest.”

He must have seen your shoulders slightly slump, because he keeps talking,  “but it was awful nice of you to go to all this trouble.  Will you sit down and ice your wrist for me please?”

Turning the bacon off you do as he asks.  He tries to divide the food between two plates, but you tell him it’s for him.

“You need something to take your pills with, so they don’t upset your stomach,” he reasons. 

“I’ll just have a banana for now.”

He finally gives up with a sigh and grabs a banana for you.  

“I’m not sure how long I’ll be today.  If Mav lets the others go early, I might be able to have the second flight done and be back by 5 still.  Is there anything you need from anywhere on my way home?” 

“No, don’t worry about me.  I don’t want to distract you from your work and get you in trouble again.”

“Hey, don’t worry about that.  I put your leftover pasta in the fridge, it’s by your stuff from Penny you put in there.”

“Thank you.”

He looks at you, and bites his lip before talking, he can’t keep this from you.  “Speaking of Penny.  She knows you’re here.”

You turn to look at him so fast you irritate the bruises on your neck.  “You told Penny?”

“Not exactly, she saw you grab the food, and confronted me when I stopped to pay her.”

“So instead of worrying about Uncle Mav telling dad, Penny will tell mom.”

You look so close to tears, Jake rushes to tell you, “she promises to keep this to herself.  Said if either one of us needed anything to let her know.” 

You just nod in response, and look at the banana still in your hand before setting it down on the counter. 

Jake is just about to leave for work, when he looks at you standing by the door waiting to lock it. 

 “I didn’t even think about this yesterday, do you need to call your job?  Tell them you aren’t coming back, at least not right now?”

Looking down you shake your head slightly, “I don’t have one anymore.”

He has a feeling he knows who is responsible for that.  “Okay, you can tell me about that later.  I didn’t look at your phone last night, please don’t turn it back on yet.  I’ll figure something out tonight.  Have a good day Princess.”  Without thinking, he gives you a kiss to the top of the head before shutting the door. 

Jake walks out to his truck and slides behind the wheel before he lets his composure slip a little.  “FUCK!” he yells out.  Angry at your piece of shit ex who did this to you, and himself for not doing a better job of checking on you when you stopped reaching out.  A small part of him knows that if you were hiding it from your parents and everyone else, you probably wouldn’t have confided in him either.  But the part that wants to beat himself up, says he could have prevented your hurt.  Taking a deep breath, he starts the truck and heads off toward base.

You watch from the window as Jake takes a few minutes to leave the driveway.  You wonder if he forgot something, or if you did something to upset him this morning.  Maybe you should have stayed out of his way and let him get ready for work without having to deal with you?  You’ve been enough trouble for Jake, and you haven’t even been here 48 hours.  

Most of the squad is in the locker room when Jake walks in.  Unfortunately, Rooster is the first one to notice him.  

“Look who decided to grace us with his presence today.  And he’s not even late.”

“Shut up chicken.”

“What did you wake up on the wrong side of whatever chick you took to bed last night?”

Hangman glares at his fellow pilot, while Fanboy snickers in the corner, and Coyote tries to figure out if he is going to have to step in before a fight happens.  Before anything else can happen, the locker room door opens, and Maverick sticks his head in.  

“Hangman, my office.”  The captain retreats just as quickly as he appeared.

“This has to be some kind of record for you right?”  Bradshaw goes back to poking.  “Usually you're the golden boy with your superiors, at least at first.”

Jake quickly changes into his flight suit, doing his best to ignore the other man’s comments.  He doesn’t have time to play games, and he won’t risk pissing off Cyclone and being sent back. 

Once he leaves the locker room, Hangman quickly heads to his captain’s office.  Maverick is looking over a file when he knocks on the open door.  

“Come in and shut the door.”  Once the younger man does, Mave continues.  “I talked to Warlock this morning.”  When he can see the lieutenant start to speak up, Maverick holds up his hand.  “I didn’t say anything about Y/N, don’t worry.  He’s going to check the flight plans scheduled for later, and Cyclone's own schedule to see when we can get you up for a second run today.  When the others leave, just hang back.”

“Yes sir.  Thank you.”

“How is she this morning?” 

“Her voice is still a bit rough.  You can tell she hurts, but she doesn’t come out and say it..  She’s worried you’re going to tell her parents.”

“I’ve never kept anything important from Ice, and I don’t feel right not telling him this.  That’s for sure, but I will give her some time.”

“Thank you.”

“Keep her safe, lieutenant.  Dismissed.”

Hangman heads to the room they are using to discuss mission parameters for today.  The rest of the squad is already in the room, along with Hondo.  Maverick, Cyclone and Warlock, thankfully walk in before Bradshaw can open up his mouth to try and antagonize him again.  The captain gives them a rundown of the terrain they will be working with today.  Once they are divided into pairs, those not on the first hop head to the ready room to wait.  

Back at Jake’s house you take the garbage bag of things Jake pulled out of the closet for you, and look through it in the spare bedroom.  There are a few bent pictures, the frames broken and gone.  You put them under a book on the dresser to try and flatten them out.  The books he didn’t want you reading, a deployment letter from Jake, Josh had torn apart.  It took you a few days to tape that one back together, but having a small part of Jake close by gave you hope that you would make it through whatever your now ex did to you.  You had taken anything else Jake had given you and hid it at your parents by that point. 

Taking a look around the bare room, you know Jake will probably remember to pick up more sheets tonight.  That means you will have to move in here and out of his room, this letter will be the only part of him you can hold at night once again. 

Trying to shake off the tears that want to fall at that thought, you leave the room and see what needs to be done around the house.  You aren’t going to sit around all day again.  No, you have to show Jake you can be a good roommate so he won’t kick you out.  After you clean up, you can start on dinner so he has a home cooked meal to come back to.

Later that afternoon, when everyone has completes the first practice hop, Mave dismisses the group.  As the rest clear out of the briefing room, Jake remains at his desk.  Coyote stops by the door and waits for his friend, noticing he isn’t moving.

“Hey man, are you coming?”

“No, I have to go over some things from yesterday with Maverick.  I’ll catch you later.”

“I think we’re all grabbing dinner at the Hard Deck later, you’re coming right?”

“I’m not sure.  I’ll…”

“Dude, why not?  What’s gotten into you the last few days?”

Hangman knows if he wants to keep the others off his back, he needs to at least make an appearance tonight.  “When I finish up here, I’ll stop by.”

Satisfied for now, Coyote heads off to the locker room. 

Maverick walks back in a few minutes later.  “Warlock says Cyclone is heading out for a meeting off base.  He cleared us for airspace in half an hour. Go get ready.” 

Hangman heads back out to the tarmac and checks his plane over for the second time today.  It’s been refueled and is ready to go.  Climbing inside and completing precheck, he waits for the all clear to start up and take off. 

Pete knew Jake was one hell of an aviator, he demonstrated that on his first day.  But the older pilot still isn’t expecting the run the younger man gave him today.  He came very close to shooting him down before Maverick was able to spin around at the last minute.   Both men then head back to base before Cyclone is expected to return.

Back at Jake’s house, you’ve done your best to sweep and dust the already clean house, but your sore ribs and broken wrist make the easy tasks a challenge.  It isn’t long before you really start to hurt, but you ignore the pain in order to start preparing dinner for Jake. 

After his shower Jake changes back into his khaki uniform to run home and let you know about his unwanted dinner plans.  He really does need to do something about getting you a working phone.  When he walks in the front door of the house a short time later his mouth is watering at the smell.  

“Hey Darlin’ I’m back,” he calls out so you don't worry about who is walking in.    

There isn’t a response to his greeting as he’s taking off his boots.  Slightly worried, he turns and looks around the living room for any sign of you.  After a second glance at the couch, he realizes you are curled up in the corner of it sleeping.  Taking the blanket off the back, Jake carefully covers you up with it, but that is enough to wake you.

Jumping up in shock, you stand up quickly and wobble on your feet.  He reaches a hand out to steady you.  

“Easy there, it’s just me.  I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I just sat down for a minute.  The chicken!”

Jake looks at you in confusion as you take off for the kitchen.   Standing in the doorway he watches you open the oven and go to pull out a pan.

“Hey let me do that,” he says as he tries to take the hot mit away.

“I can do it,” you argue.

“Okay, but you probably shouldn’t.  You need to be careful with your wrist.”

“No, I needed to make dinner.”

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to make dinner.  I appreciate the gesture, but you don’t have to.  The only thing you should be worrying about right now is resting and taking care of yourself.”

“No, I have to…”

He cuts you off standing right in front of you, with his hands on your shoulder.   “You don’t have to do anything.  This does smell amazing.  I’m going to have to steal a bite before I leave.”

“What do you mean, leave?” you question, with worry in your voice.

“The others can tell something is going on with me, and keep trying to figure out what that might be.  They are all meeting at the Hard Deck for dinner and are expecting me there.  I’m sorry but I need to go make an appearance. I promise I won’t stay too long.”

Jake can see the disappointment flash in your eyes, and the moment you try to cover it up.  

“I really am sorry.  But if I don’t go they are going to end up over here and we are going to have more noses in our business than I think you want right now.”  He reaches beside you and pulls a piece of chicken off one of the breasts.  “Damn girl, tastes and good as it smells.  I wish I could stay, but raincheck for tomorrow?”

 All you can do is nod.  You didn’t tell you to make dinner, you just assumed he would be expecting it like Josh did.  Josh would have demanded you make something, complained about it before eating somewhere else anyways.  Jake at least pretended to have enjoyed it.  

“How about I make you a plate before I go.  Then you can at least sit down and enjoy your hard work.”

“No thanks, I’m not very hungry.”

“You need something.  Are you taking your medications.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.  Just leave it Jake.  You should get going.”

“If you’re sure.”

Giving a slight nod you begin picking up the kitchen.  Wrapping up everything you made to go into the refrigerator.  Jake stops in the kitchen doorway, feeling bad that you went to all the work and he isn’t staying.  He almost goes screw it when his phone beeps with an incoming text.

Coyote- Dude, where you at? 

He lets his friend know he’s on his way before heading to the door once more.  You saying his name stops him.  

“If you leave the sheets, I’ll wash them while you’re gone.  That way you can have your own space back tonight.”

“Oh crap.  I’m sorry I came here straight from base.  I will grab some tonight.  I’m sorry.  I’m sure you are ready to get away from me and have your own space.”

Neither one of you have the heart to tell the other that isn’t what you really want. 

While Jake is on his way to hard deck you pick at the salad you made, not that it tastes as good as the chicken probably did.  You know you need to watch what you eat, Josh always told you how bad you looked.  That’s probably why Jake wants you out of his bed.  Lord knows he has shared it with women you look much better than you.

Jake arrives at the Hard Deck, making his way to the bar before finding his squad.  Penny spots him, giving him a puzzled look before grabbing his usual beer.  

“I’m surprised to see you here tonight.  Is she with you?”

“No, she’s back home.  The squad has been giving me crap about blowing them off.  It would be better for all of us to appease them for one night.  Do you know if they have already ordered food?”

“I think they just sent their orders back.”

“Can I add a burger to my tab please.  I don’t think I’m going to be here too late.”

“Coming right up.”

Drink in hand Jake makes his way over to the pool tables to watch Rooster take on Bob.  Bradley looks up after taking his shot, smirking as it goes in.

“Look who finally decided to join the team.”

“Bradshaw, still can’t shut that mouth huh?”

“What?  Can’t take a little heat?”

Hangman looks the table over, seeing Bradley is currently ahead.  “I’ll take winner, and when I kick your ass you back off.”

“You think you can take me?  You haven’t been in here practicing very much lately.  I’ll bet you're rusty.  When I kick YOUR ass, you do the honorable thing, pack up and go home.  No one wants you here.”

Coyote starts to head toward Rooster until Hangman pulls him back.

“You’re on chicken.”

It doesn’t take long for Rooster to finish the game with Bob.  The next game starts out pretty evenly, but it doesn’t take Jake long to take control.  The striped balls are all missing from the table now, Hangman leans over to line up his shot.  He looks over and Rooster and asks, “any last words?”  Before hitting the 8 ball without even looking at it.  The ball spins into the side before rolling into the corner pocket securing Jake’s win.  With his trademark smirk, he looks to the other pilot before laying down his stick.  

The food is brought over before Rooster can start something else up, and Jake ignores him, his thoughts going back to you.  Grabbing his burger from Penny he moves over to one of the two top tables with Coyote.

“Glad you finally managed to grace us with your presence.  What’s been going on with you dude?”

“Nothing you need to worry about man.”

Jake’s ringing phone cuts the conversation short.  Grateful for the interruption he doesn’t glance at the number before answering.  “Seresin.”

After being unable to find you at the hospital or medstations, Josh angrily sits at home waiting for your return.  When that never happens, he calls some of his friends the next morning to see if you had spoken with any of their wives or girlfriends.  That comes up empty, not that he figured you were dumb enough to run to them.  Next he tries tracking your phone using the Find my Phone App, and a tracker he installed.  Both of which say the phone last pinged a tower in Santa Ana.  What were you doing there?  He has to leave for work before he can do anything more with that information. 

 When he checks later in the afternoon, it still tells him the same city.  Talking with the phone company he finally gets a hold of the last number you dialed.  Now to find out where you tried to hide. 

IGY Tags

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@els-marvelvsp  @bethbunnyy  @senjoritanana  @abaker74  @mygyn 

@lynnevanss  @m-rae23  @djs8891  @supraveng  @loving-and-dreaming 

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@devil-angel-winchester @thatbitcily

[icequeenbae]

Hi I saw that your requests are open! Can I get a scenario of Aphelios and his non celebrity s/o going on a secret date at night in seoul?

Pairing: Heartsteel!Aphelios x Reader

Established Relationship, slice of life, romance, fluff

Warnings: none? This is pretty mellow stuff lol

Word Count: ~1.3k

Author’s Note: Hiii! Thanks for the request, sweetheart! I couldn’t make it any shorter but please enjoy~ These HEARTSTEEL requests are fun haha Here's some bf!Phel for you!

© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.

‘What are you doing? Phel…’ You lowered your voice, tugging your boyfriend away from the ramyeon stand.

He was way too enthusiastic about you finally having a date, and now tried robbing the CU store of all its instant noodles. While wearing a mask, too. Like a proper thief.

‘We don’t need 10 packs of ramyeon, it’s just the two of us. The members aren’t going to turn up out of nowhere, I’m hoping?’

Aphelios gave you a meaningful look and shook his head. He sure wanted to add something, but his hands were busy holding all the packs.

‘Let me help you with that.’ You said, grabbing some of those to put them back. ‘You don’t even like this flavor.’

After you quickly sorted your selection, he floated past you to the refrigerated shelves. Pointing at the tiny soy sauce eggs, he looked at you for feedback. You nodded and checked what else was there.

‘How about regular boiled eggs too? We can put them in the ramyeon.’

Aphelios eagerly got some of those as well, clearly liking your idea.

‘Should I get a basket for all this?’ You asked, looking at your poor boyfriend, holding all of the food in his two hands.

He shook his head, but you didn’t listen and still got it to make it easier for him.

‘Put them here. And let’s get some banana milk.’

You didn’t have to specify that you liked the light one. He quickly picked out the package with a blue label, adding it to your basket.

‘Do you want some sausage?’ You asked him.

Your boyfriend shook his head, and then tapped onto a plastic container with triangle kimbap, asking you if you wanted one. When you turned it down, he tugged you by the sleeve of your hoodie to the drinks area.

‘You want iced coffee? Isn’t it a little too cold outside for this?’

He seemed unsure.

‘Let’s get more snacks instead?’

After he agreed, you dug through a separate snack section, picking out a few packs that you’d never tried before. Then Aphelios added your favorite grape jellies to your already outrageous variety.

‘If we continue like this, our next stop would be the pharmacy.’ You commented, evaluating the contents of your basket.

Aphelios huffed out a laugh and shrugged, silently saying ‘Who cares?’

You peeked from your spot, making sure there weren’t too many people at the checkout, and led him there quickly. After paying for everything and pouring hot water into your thermos bottle, you had to tear Aphelios away from the ice cream fridge on your way to the door before you were finally on your way.

When out in the streets, you were usually weary of someone recognizing him, so you tried to keep it casual, walking slightly ahead or behind him. Especially in the evenings, when the Seoul streets were quite crowded. However, you chose a workday for a reason – you’d noticed that there were fewer people hanging out early in the week, so this time you managed to make your way to a less packed area for your impromptu date.

Although Aphelios was usually pretty careful about it as well, this time he took your hand in his, making you fall into step with him instead of marching ahead. As you strolled along the Han River, he pointed to a nice empty spot for you to settle on.

‘No neighbors, nice catch,’ you chuckled, and he squeezed your palm playfully as if to say ‘I did well, didn’t I?’

You got a blanket from Phel’s backpack, lay it on the ground and dropped on it victoriously.

‘That’s a nice view,’ you said, watching Aphelios, who stood in front of you, checking out the Han River, which was beautifully lit by the city lights.

He turned to you, ready to agree, and caught you staring at him. He raised an eyebrow in a silent question, and you looked down at the blanket.

‘To each their own.’

Your boyfriend placed the bag of snacks in front of you and sat down, fishing out his phone. He typed something up and pressed the button, which played the sentence in his voice. Something he worked out with one of his buddies.

‘See something you like?’

The artificial voice lacked the degree of sass you knew was incorporated in that question.

‘One could assume so,’ you shrugged, playing it cool.

Both his eyebrows went up, and then he narrowed his eyes, returning to typing.

‘I hope I didn’t misunderstand when you suggested eating ramyeon so late at night…’

You gasped, and he was obviously amused by your reaction.

‘Don’t be naughty.’ You told him, busying yourself with unpacking your food.

He kept watching you intently until you couldn’t take it anymore.

‘What??’

He shook his head, refusing to reply. And as you pouted at him for this, he quickly leaned in, tugging his mask down, and gave you a clandestine kiss. It was a fleeting contact, yet it managed to heat up your cheeks nicely.

Content with the result, he joined you in making your table for tonight, a ghost of a smile still decorating his lips. Oh, he thought it was so cute! He didn’t even have to speak to make you flustered.

You sighed, watching him take over the preparations. He opened the two biggest cups, or bowls, rather, of ramyeon and poured some hot water into them, using chopsticks to hold the lids closed.

‘The eggs,’ you reminded him, and he hurriedly rummaged through a pile of your snacks to find them.

He made an undefinable noise when you tried to take one to help him peel them, so you simply sat back, watching him do it. A few minutes later, your noodles were nice and ready, and so were you. As you opened the lid, you finally grasped how cold you were getting. However pretty the night view of the Han River and the bridge over it was, the cool breeze could not go unnoticed.

You slurped your noodles simultaneously. It tasted really good for some reason – you weren’t sure if that was because of the cold, or the excitement of you being here, or just having Phel’s intimate company… Maybe it was all of those combined? In any case, the hot noodles worked well for you in these circumstances.

But still, Aphelios noticed that you were beginning to tremble and motioned for you to drink the broth too.

‘You too. It’s pretty chilly out here, huh?’ You replied before gulping the warm spicy broth.

He did the same and then put his bowl down, scooting closer to you. Taking the freed part of your blanket, he used it to cover your back and his.

‘Thanks, Phel,’ you mumbled, still chewing your noodles.

He typed up his reply.

‘It’s windier than I thought. Let’s finish our ramyeon and move.’

‘But I like it here…’ You protested. ‘I like our little picnic. You know I don’t get alone time with you that often…’

He chewed on his lip for a few moments and then cocked his head to the side again.

‘What?’ You asked, demanding interpretation.

‘I can hear the clanking of your teeth, babe. I must take you somewhere warm.’

He studied your disappointed face and typed something else.

‘We can still be alone there?’

That sounded a little more promising.

‘We won’t have to break any laws to be alone, I hope?’ You inquired, recalling that one time when he basically hijacked K’Sante’s truck to take you to the seaside.

The mischievous smile on his face told you all you needed to know.

Oh well. If it was worth risking it all with anyone, you’d do that with Phel.

Non-EXO masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: Ahhh, hope you enjoyed this Aphelios scenario~ Please don't forget to comment and reblog if you want to support me 💕 I will take a few more requests, so hurry up and drop an ask if you want me to write some more Heartsteel~

[jazziejax]

𝐈. 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐲 𝐋𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

Pairings- Priest!Art Donaldson x Reader, Priest!Patrick Zwieg x Reader

Summary- Odessa and Antoinette get a creepy letter in the mail

Warnings- religious talk, swearing, inside thoughts, not well written…

Jazzie’s Notes!- I just wanna preface this with saying that I don’t really know how to write this style of writing. I have to learn to write well in first person, but then if I do that, I would have to switch person to person all the time. Let if know if this is good or not, don’t be afraid to give feedback. Also, this isn’t meant to offensive to a religious group, I am religious myself. Sorry for any spelling errors!!!

Word Count- 5,313

Antoinette’s life was far from perfect. She lived in a crappy apartment in a sketchy part of New York with barely any money to afford to live. But she tended to find the bright side of most things. She shared said apartment with her best friend, and she always dreamed of living in New York. Plus, her job was a cute diner with a surprisingly stylish apron. She felt like one of those girls in the rom-com movies. Life could be worse.

“Hi, what can I help you guys with today?” The chipper voice of the young lady said as she pulled the notepad out of her blue apron pocket. She looked expectedly around the group that sat at the diner booth.

“Uh, can we get two French toast meals with the strawberry and whipped cream on them, no bacon or eggs on one of them? And two chocolate chip pancake meals with no whipped cream, just the bananas and blueberries. Four milkshakes, one chocolate with no cherry no whipped cream, one strawberry with the cherry and whipped cream, one vanilla with just the whipped cream, and another chocolate with the cherry and the whipped cream.” Said a blonde woman in one go, before looking up to smile at the waiter.

What a…hearty breakfast. Is it even breakfast time?

The girl squinted, caught off guard by everything that was thrown at her so fast, and didn’t write anything down past the ‘no eggs no bacon’ part. “Um, okay, yeah. I totally have all of that. I’m just gonna repeat it back to make sure it’s correct.” The curly-haired waiter smiled, looking down at the small amount of words scribbled on the yellow paper. Before she could even start talking, the blonde girl spoke up again.

“Oh, no need.” She smiled sweetly, which was obviously fake and condescending by the way she then waved the girl off before continuing the conversation she was in with her friends. Antoinette's eyes darted from one person to the next, utter shock but not surprised at how they all just continued to ignore her presence. She offered a small smile, whispering a small “Okay.” Before walking off to tell Lonny what she remembered of the order.

Which also didn’t go in her favor.

“Why the hell didn’t you write it down?” The older man asked, his New York accent thick on his tongue as she looked down at the small piece of paper the girl handed him.

I totally didn’t even think of that.

“I tried, she was going too fast and wouldn’t let me stay any longer to get it correct.” The girl whined. “I can tell you what I remember from my brain.”

My brain, what am I, seven years old? I need to expand my vocabulary.

“I don’t need what you have in your brain, I need the order on paper! I’m running a restaurant here, curly fry, not a school!” The grump yelled, before moving around the kitchen to continue to cook. Antoinette just stood there, arms stiff at her sides as her eyes drifted towards the open box where the orders got dropped off to see the more than half-empty restaurant. Her brows furrowed inwards only a smidge as she looked back over at her boss.

“Lonny, they’re the only people here.” She stated. All she got in response was the slam of the man’s fist against the metal table out of frustration. Not caring, or rather not paying attention, Antoinette continued. “I mean, them and the homeless guy that sleeps in the booth at the very back. And the occasional person with a laptop to charge.” She shrugged.

Lonny then turned, glaring from afar at the girl who was at least a foot taller than him. Granted, he was a short man.

“You’re lucky I like you curlyfry.” The man grumbled. “Now write down what you can remember then get back to work.” He hissed, turning to the batter he had before him. Antoinette was almost tempted to ask, what work? but refrained from making the situation worse. “Okay.” Was all she said before starting to scribble what she caught of the order on the paper.

My handwriting is atrocious, I need to work on that. Ooh, that’s a big word. Maybe my vocabulary isn’t so terrible. Hey, they do say bad handwriting is a sign of intelligence.

“Also, can you go kick out that homeless guy?” Lonny started, talking to the girl over his shoulder.

“Why can’t you?” She immediately asked, not even thinking over the statement. The older man threw his head back, letting out a deep sigh. “Because I’m working. Ya know, the thing you don’t do.”

Antoinette softly gasped in offense, placing a hand over her heart. “I work. I’m getting this order to you right now.” She said, tripping g the paper from the bit pad and sliding it over to the order station. “Plus, Joey’s gonna be here any second for my shift to end. Although a little late. He can handle it though.”

“Yeah, but I asked you, and I want it done now.” The man spat, never once looking back at the girl as he continued to make the dough for his bread at the cooking station.

“Well, I can’t because I have to wait.” She said, starting to take off her apron. Lonny screamed in annoyance, turning to face his employee. “What did I tell you about that word?!” He screamed desperation and anger in his tone.

“That it’s only used by stinky European teenage boys.” Antoinette related like a mantra at this point. “So stop it!” He yelled as she then tried to walk out of the kitchen, actually having to pee. “And what did I tell you about telling me when you have to pee.”

“I just thought you should know!” Antoinette yelled back through the closing kitchen door. She sighed, starting to continue her way to the bathroom before briefly pausing when she realized the table from earlier was now looking at her in irritation and confusion.

Great, they probably heard me talking about having to pee.

She smiled at them, her dimples being the cherry on top of her adorable face. “Your food will be out shortly.” She said as she encapsulated one hand in the other, voice now calm in contrast to her previous yelling. She went to walk about before stopping once more. “Hopefully.” She said before continuing, taking her apron off in the process and laying it on a hook in the back where her bag and coat were.

She wakes in the dingey bathroom, pulling down her pants and squatting over the bowl. Finally, in some semblance of peace, she had the same thoughts she had every time she used the bathroom at the diner.

My calves have to be extremely strong after doing this for four years. Can they hear me? Gosh, I hope they can’t hear me. I think I’d kill myself. Well no, I wouldn’t because that’s a sin.

Finished, the file looked over next to her for the toilet paper, seeing the roll bare but the sake of two thin sheets stuck to the adhesive. “Aw, man. No paper.” She said to herself. She then tried forward, scouring her mind for a solution to such a predicament. Here she was, leaning forward with her rosary handing in her face, squatted over the toilet seat with urine dripping from her privates.

Today couldn’t be any worse.

Just then, the door shot open and slammed into the girl's head. Antoinette yelped at the harsh contact, not even paying attention to the scream let out by the man above her as she focused on her now throbbing head and tried not to fall into the toilet bowl. “Dammit, Antoinette, lock the door next time.” The man groaned. Antoinette held her head as if her hand would bring some sort of red to the area.

“Ok, Joey can you go grab me some toilet paper? We’re out.” She said, trying to focus on how embarrassing this whole ordeal was.

“Uh, yeah, give me a sec.” He said through the door before drifting away.

Antoinette sighed, her head flopping down as she was once again left in that weird position, now even more embarrassed that someone saw her and that she was hit in the head. And it was her coworker.

Lord. I’m sorry but I must die today.

Joey then came back with a new roll of tissue, handing it to the girl through a crack in the bathroom door, even though he could see the girl in the small bathroom mirror. A few seconds after a flush and the sink running, Antoinette emerged with an awkward smile on her face to see Joey standing in front of the bathroom door.

“Hi.” Was all she said, looking everywhere but his eyes.

“Hey.” The taller olive-skinned man said back. They stood in front of each other for a few moments in silence.

“You should go—“

“Sorry about—“

They stared at the same time, pausing before awkwardly laughing.

“I was gonna say sorry about your head. I kinda just barged in.” Joey continued, smiling down at the girl in front of him.

“It’s fine, I was sitting there very awkwardly. Squatting rather.” She stared, brushing it off. “I was saying that you should head on in there and…do whatever you were going to do.” She shrugged. She could feel her heatwave pick up just being in his presence. And the longer she looked at him in those sultry brown eyes, the feeling of a hot pool started to rumble in her lower stomach. She might’ve been a virgin, but she wasn’t stupid.

Well, not entirely.

She knew she found Joey attractive, but the feeling she got when she stood too close to him was not okay in her book. It triggered her fight or flight, but instead of running away or throwing fists at him, she wanted to jump into his arms.

Yeah, I can’t do this. It’s time to leave.

“Well, it was nice speaking to you Joey, have a nice day. Oh, and Lonny wants you to remove the homeless guy from the booth in the back.” She spat out in a hurry as she grabbed her bag from the hook, along with her coat, and walked back to the front. She passed the table on her way out, seeing that they were now eating. “Oh, you guys got your food. Great.” She said with a small customer service smile as she continued walking.

“Yeah, our order is actually wrong—.” The woman from before couldn’t get out much more before Antoinette was cutting her off.

“Sorry, I’m off the clock. Bye.” She cheesed on her last words and walked out of the door, a bell ringing above her head. She scurried to the alley on the side of the building, to see her bike still double-chained to a random pipe in the next building over. It was basically a little game at this point to come around the corner and see if her bike was still there. Sighing in relief, she rushed over to the baby blue bike with a wicker basket in the front. She unclasped her key from her wrist and unlocked the heavy-duty chains she bought with her last few dollars when she moved to New York. This elderly couple had given her the bike when they saw the girl walking in the rain, saying it was their daughter’s old bike. But since the girl was lost and confused in a very nice neighborhood, she had to buy some chains so she didn’t get jacked before she could get to enjoy its labor.

The girl opened the basket in the front of her bike to place her chains into when she paused at the sight of something wrapped in the large bin. The thing was moving underneath the black cloth and Antoinette was just frozen. She glanced around at the alley to see if anyone was watching her but spotted not a single soul. Sighing, the girl reached out and pulled back the back fabric, being sure to keep her head as far away as she could whilst also being able to see within the basket. Seeing that whatever it was didn’t violently react to her movements, she eased forward to see a tuft of sandy white hair.

What in tarnation is this?

Now confused, the girl leaned forward and pulled the cloth back more to see two small kittens in her backseat, one was this sanely blonde color, the darker part of its body being its nose area and its tail. The other kitten was a mix of colors, mainly orange and black with white spots here and there. Antoinette’s heart immediately melted at the sight of the two kittens.

“Awww!” The girl said, pouting at the creatures who lay in her basket. Well, one creature lay while the other moved around in the basket as best as it could. “Well, aren’t you two just the cutest?” The girl gushed as she lifted the blanket with them two in it to place the chains at the bottom of the basket. Once placing them back down, she looked at the cats, who eventually acknowledged the woman above them with tiny meows, as if they were speaking to her speaking voice. Antoinette nearly cried as she continued to fawn over the cute little animals.

“Yeah, you two are coming home with me.” She said as she mounted her bike and washed her way out of the alley. “Des is just gonna love you two!” She said excitedly, closing the top of her basket and riding off into the New York City streets.

“Why the hell are there kittens in the kitchen?” The light skin girl said as she walked into the small flat and hung her keys and coat near the door before turning to her right to see two kittens in the kitchen licking at a bowl of milk on the corner. Antoinette smiled at the girl as the light from her laptop reflected off her large glasses.

“Hello, Odessa.” The girl said formally laying one hand on top of another as she sat straighter in her seat. The lighter girl furrowed her brows, eyeing her friend across from her in the small kitchen.

“What do you have to say?” The girl demanded out of her rather than asked, already tired from a long work day and knowing Antoinette had something up her sleeve.

She’s sneaky for a catholic…Well, aren’t they all? According to history.

“Well, to answer your previous question, these cats are here because some holy being left them in my basket on my bike.” She started. She could see Odessa was about to speak again but she interrupted before she could. “And before you say anything discouraging, I’d just like to say I did some extensive research. The multicolored one is a calico kitten, and did you know that approximately one calico in 3,000 is male? And guess what? He’s male!” The girl with glasses said, faking her shock again to add to the dramatic value in front of Odessa. The leather-clad girl just leaned against the kitchen archway with her arms folded, face stoic. Seeing that Antoinette was waiting for some sort of reaction before she continued, the woman slightly opened her mouth to let out a small gasp, glancing over at the kitten near her feet.

Antoinette smiled before continuing. “And that quiet and mysterious beauty is a ragdoll kitten. They have an above-average life span, fully grown at 4 years old, quiet by nature, as you can tell. And they are one of the largest cat breeds out there, which is also kind of confusing because you’re supposed to mix other breeds to get a ragdoll cat.” She said, trailing off at the end as she looked at her laptop in confusion, those two facts not making much sense in her mind. Shaking off the thought, the spec-wearing girl looked over at her cooler friend, who just stared at her. Antoinette put on her best smile.

Well, not her best. She was sort of anxious about the whole situation so the smile was kind of awkward, the girl showing all of her adult teeth while her eyes waited on an answer, her brows giving away her concern.

After a moment of silence, the two just looking at one another, Odessa cracked first.

“We can’t keep the cats.” That was all she said before all hell broke loose.

“But, I did so much research on them! I could probably work as a veterinarian with all the knowledge I know now.” The girl in pink whined.

Odessa just started, moving to put her hands in the pockets of her leather pants, the tattoos on her arms showing.

“It was basically a sign from God- well the universe that I’m meant to keep them. They just appeared in my basket, begging for my care.” She continued, changing her words when she saw the girl's brow spike at the mention of the guy up above. That still didn’t get a reaction out of the girl, Odessa just moved across the small kitchen and past the tiny table to the fridge. Antoinette followed her moments within her seat, desperation etched into her face.

“I mean, it won’t cost us much. I can use the bin we use for our socks as their litter box and just use sand from the cigarette pot downstairs.” I’m grasping at freaking straws here.

Odessa turned around once she had the beer in her hands and used the counter to pop the lid off. “And for now we can just give them milk, ya know since we always have some that go bad and we’re lactose intolerant anyway.” She continued, taking her glasses off her face to look at her friend.

Odessa cringed at her words, and leaned against the counter now, which was only about three feet away from the other girl. “That sounds like a terrible life for these poor kittens, Antoinette. And us.” She said before taking a swig of her beer. “We can’t afford them.”

“I mean, it's not like we’re poor. We can take care of them.”

“We have a box television in the year 2023…” Odessa started, “And it’s not even in our living room, it’s in the kitchen and it’s the size of a basketball.” She finished, pointing over to the small television on the corner of the table that softly played reruns of old television shows with the antenna that aimed at the small kitchen window. “We don’t even have fucking cable.”

“Language,” Antoinette muttered. “I mean, at least we get to watch Sex & The City and Living Single for free.” She smiled over at Odessa, who gave her a simple stare. “We can’t afford them, Bennie.” She said softly.

Antoinette then deflated, shoulders sagging as she leaned back in the old wooden chair. She had lost all hope as soon as the girl said that name, Odessa only calling her that when she was serious about something. Mainly because Odessa hated nicknames. “Okay, I’ll find them somewhere tomorrow.” She softly whined before putting her head in her hands. Odessa pursed her lips in sadness, patting the girl on the shoulder for comfort before making her way out of the kitchen. It only took her about three steps before she was in what most would call a living room, but Odessa liked to call it her room. Since it essentially was her room.

The far wall was made of brick, with a green couch in front of it that let out into her bed and a small back circle table in the middle, on top of an ugly carpet.

The girl sighed as she turned and dropped down onto the couch, letting her back hit the seat cushions. The old ceiling light hurt her eyes and made her already terrible hangover headache worse, so she threw her arms over her eye, placing her face in her elbow. Getting home late last night from one of her small concerts, she liked to call them, at the bar she worked at, she got a little too wasted. It was a recurring theme for her honestly.

Get up, go to work at the bar, wait till 10 to start performing, do that until about 2 am, get drunk afterward and either go home with whoever she decides to lay with that night or go to her humble abode. She didn’t perform every night, but when she did, that was usually the routine. And now she was suffering the consequences of getting drunk and staying up until 5 am when she had to work only hours later. At least she didn’t perform tonight, now she could stay in longer since it was only 6.

Her head becoming too much, the girl sat up from the couch to head to the bathroom to see if she could salvage some pain pills. But before she could, the sight of a pile of letters caught her eye. Reaching over, she grabbed the small pile to sort through.

Bill, bill, bill, creepy letter, postcards, bill, rent, perfume samples…What the hell?…

Odessa paused at the sight of the letter, the off-white paper wax-sealed with a red stamp. She squinted, looking at the seal to see if she knew the symbol from somewhere. Looking at it in just the wax form, she couldn’t quite make it out but she knew it looked familiar. Standing up, she kept her eyes on the letter as she walked back to the kitchen.

“Did you see this creepy ass letter in the mail?” She asked, standing the the archway and turning the letter to face Antoinette, who had her head propped on her chin as she sadly looked at places where she could drop the kittens off. Speaking of kittens, they now lay in the girls’ lap, curled into one another in almost a yin and yang symbol.

Antoinette looked up, squinting at the girl who was blurry since she didn’t have on her glasses. Odessa walked forward, placing the letter in front of her roommate.

Placing her spec on, Antoinette inspected the letter more, immediately recognizing the symbol. She furrowed her brows, glancing up at the even more confused Odessa. Gliding her long bare nails under the wax seal, she popped the envelope open and pulled out the letter. “Ohh, handwritten.” She said to herself as she looked at the unfolded paper.

She was silent as she read through the letter, causing Odessa to just stand before her and wait for the girl to speak. She watched Antoinette read the letter, her face going through a mix of emotions. First, her brows raised in surprise in the beginning as she hummed in contempt. Then her eyes widened as she continued before she got to the end of the letter and gasped.

“What is it?! You’re making my blood pressure rise.” Odessa said, watching the girl intensely.

“It’s from Saint Mary’s.” She started, not looking up to see Odessa cringe at the words. “They said a lot has changed in the last four years. Mother Agnes died, and they refurbished the church and built it. And they even have new staff, but the community is failing. They sent letters to all the kids that grew up in the foster home to see if they’d come to work there to improve their quality of life. Pay and free housing included.” She finished, looking up at the girl before her.

Neither of them could look each other in the eyes at the news, both of them still processing everything. Mainly the information about Mother Agnes dying. There was a sense of relief as if the girls had been haunted by everything that woman did to them. And in a sense, they were. They’ve endured too much pain at the hands of Mother Agnes. So much pain that they had to live with their whole lives, and leaving there didn’t help as much as they thought it would. They just now had a place to express such feelings out loud. Although they never did. Conditioning at its finest. Just thinking about their youth made Odessa want to break down and cry after so many years of pushing those memories away. And Antoinette…she could have a panic attack just being back at such a place.

After a moment of silence, Antoinette read over the letter again and again while Odessa just started in thought, someone finally spoke.

“We should do it.” She said softly, not looking up in fear of Odessa’s reaction.

“And why the hell would we do that?” The other girl asked harshly, offended that Antoinette even thought of such a possibility.

“Because it could help.” She answered softly. “We could use the money.”

“We have money. You and I both work.”

“You said it yourself, Des,” Antoinette said looking up, her hands slightly shaking as she played with the letter in her hands. The thought of going back wasn’t doing her psyche any good, but she felt as if this was a good opportunity. Maybe this could be good for us. “We don’t have the money.”

“I said that about your cats. Me and you are living just fine.” Odessa spat, her words harsh as she looked down at the darker-skinned girl. Antoinette subtly flinched at her tone, looking back down at the letter in her hands. Odessa saw her small movements and immediately felt bad, she wasn’t making the situation any better.

“It could be good for us.” Antoinette started again, not looking up this time. “We could go there and help out. Make it a better place than it was when we were there. Be nicer to the children so they…don’t end up like us.” She said. Her words hung in the air for a moment. “I mean, what other place is gonna offer us free housing and a job?”

“We go back just so we can be in debt to those people?” Odessa stated, ignoring what the girl previously said about helping the children. “So they can treat us like some charity case? Like they did when we were foster children?” She continued to ask, staring at the top of Antoinette’s head since she refused to lift her eyes from the wax she was ripping off the paper envelope. “I’m not going through that again, not for some people who didn’t give a damn about us then.”

“There’s new people.”

“Yeah, and who do you think taught them what they know?” She asked, folding her arms. There was a thick silence between them.

Antoinette nodded, never looking up. “You're right.” She closed her old laptop and adjusted the kittens into her arms. She then tucked her laptop under her arm and stood up. “I’m gonna go to bed now, good night.” She said softly, walking past Odessa and into the small room on the other side of the living room. Odessa sighed, placing her head into her head as she heard the girl's door softly close from her place in the kitchen.

Antoinette didn’t come out of her room after that, but Odessa could hear her shuffling around in the very small space. She now lay on her bed couch, looking over at the skinny door every time she heard the slightest moment from the room. She would wait to see if the girl would come out in the middle of the night like she always did to ask her random questions, say a random fact, or go to the kitchen to get some water and get caught up in the small television. But none of that ever came.

As soon as Odessa thought sleep was about to finally meet her halfway, she got caught in the words Antoinette said earlier. About helping the children.

Now, Odessa was far from a children's type of person. She was far from a people person, honestly, but she had to make a living somehow. So, for the life of her, she couldn’t understand why she was so affected by the girl's words as soon as they left her mouth. But deep down, she knew why. And so did Antoinette.

Even in the foster home, Odessa would always protect the younger kids from punishment. Taking all their lashing so she didn’t have to hear the cries of children being hurt. Antoinette is one of those kids when the others would blame things on her. And she would take their pain with no words since the age of fourteen. She never vocally expressed the pain she felt emotionally, mentally, and definitely not physically. That mentality infuriated Mother Agnes to the point she would single the girl out and beat the girl harder to see if she could make her break. But Odessa only let tears slip when she was alone.

Now Antoinette didn’t know the severity her words would have on Odessa’s mind, so she couldn’t blame the girl. But she knew that the girl was right. Odessa would do anything in her power to make sure no other kids ended up like her. She would do anything to not hear the cries of pain from children who busted and wanted to be accepted and loved.

And with that thought, she got up from the bed and walked over to Antoinette’s room. She opened the small door that led to the tiny room to see the girl’s back facing the door, looking out the window at the city as she lay in bed and petted the two cats.

“I changed my mind.” She said softly.

Antoinette glanced over her shoulder. “About the cats?” She started. “Nah, I think you’re right. I don’t think I can care for them properly.” She said sadly, turning to look back out of the window.

“No, not about the cats,” Odessa stated.

There was a pause between the two, Antoinette processing the girl's words. She then sat up in her bed and turned to face the girl at her door, five feet away from her. “What made you change your mind?” She asked softly.

“You were right. About everything.” She shrugged, biting her lip. She was anxious about the whole situation. Coming to such a conclusion about her feelings and the thought of going back to the town brought more bad memories than good. But also to how her best friend would react. But that was all washed away when she saw the girl smile.

“Can I bring the cats?” She asked, pointing to the sleeping kittens in her bed. Odessa giggled, looking at the pleading smile on her friend's face.

“Yeah, sure. I mean, they’ll have more space to grow. Its a better life than here.” She said shrugging.

Antoinette then gasped. “Oh! Now I can get one of those cute wax melt sets so I can’t write back to them.” She smiled excitedly. “Oh, this is gonna be so great!”

Odessa smiled at the girl's excitement. “Now get some sleep, we have some things to sort out before we head up.” That was all she said before she closed the door behind her and made her way back to bed. She let out one final sigh before closing her eyes and letting sleep take her away.

Antoinette smiled at the door as it closed before looking down at the animals at her side. “Ya see, prayers do get answered, guys.” She said, holding up her right hand that was wrapped in her rosary, showing it to the sleeping cats. “Oh, you guys can’t hear me. Or understand me. Or understand religion. I need to go to bed.” She hugged before plopping down onto her pillow with an anxious smile and closing her eyes.

Let me know if you guys like the story and if you’d liked to be added to the taglist!!!

[honeystrawberryvenus]

15 Random WL Facts

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Hello! My name is Marianel, but you can call me Mari. I am dedicating my blog to reuploading whatever information I have saved to my Tiktok favorites due to the upcoming U.S. January 19th ban. I am into fashion, romance, lifestyle improvement, and anything girly, so there will be plenty of coverage on those topics. All republished material, in order to respect the creators, will contain the original post title, caption, username origin, and content. Thank you for stopping by, and I hope my archive helps in any way!

Just a disclaimer for super health-based posts-I am in no way well-versed in such subjects, much less a professional. I will do my best to fact check what I post so as to not spread misinformation. However, if the aforementioned does occur, please correct me so that I may edit 'my' error. There are outside generated revisions on less-than-solid facts.

──── ୨୧ ────

USERNAME: kiricupcakes

POST TITLE: 15 Random W eight Loss Facts

CAPTION: Tags only.

CONTENT:

Protein is useless if you avoid consuming fats in your diet. (same with vitamins) REVISION: False. Protein is essential for many bodily functions like muscle repair and immune support. It’s important to have a balanced diet with fats, but protein isn’t useless if you're avoiding fats. However, fats help with the absorption of fat-soluble vitamins (A, D, E, K), so avoiding fats can hinder this.

Make sure you consume enough protein, iron, and ESPECIALLY CALCIUM to avoid brittle teeth, hair and nails.

Too much protein and your body treats it the same as carbs. It goes to your glucose stores. REVISION: False. Excess protein isn’t directly converted into glucose the same way carbohydrates are. The body can convert excess protein into glucose via gluconeogenesis, but this process is not as efficient as the conversion of carbohydrates to glucose.

Understand your cravings and adapt to choose healthier options (guide on next 'page')

If you drink mostly diuretics (e.g. caffeine), you need more liquid in your diet.

1L of cool water burns up to 50cal by digesting it. It also helps with performance and burning calories throughout the day. REVISON: False. Drinking cold water can cause a slight increase in calorie burn due to the body needing to warm the water to body temperature. However, it's nowhere near 50 calories. The actual calorie burn is likely to be around 20-30 calories per liter, depending on individual factors.

CRAVINGS AND WHY

Chocolate - Magnesium | Greens, nuts, seeds, whole grains, beans.

Bread - Nitrogen | Obtained from dietary protein, meat, fish, eggs, nuts, grains.

Oily foods - Calcium | Spinach, kale, broccoli.

Cheese - Essential fatty acids | Walnuts, flax oil. Calcium | Broccoli, kale, spinach.

Snacks/Junk food - Unbalanced diet | Water, fruit, vegetables, proteins, fats, carbs.

Pasta - Chromium | Grapes, tomatoes, onion.

Ice - Iron | Red meats, nuts, liver.

Carbonated drinks - Calcium | Spinach, kale, broccoli.

Alcohol - Protein | Beans, meat, eggs. Calcium | Legumes, kale. Potassium | Tomato, banana. Glutamine | Bone broth, beets.

Sugary sweets - Sulfur | Garlic, kale, onion. Tryptophan | Raisins, oatmeal. Chromium | Grapes, tomato, onion. Phosphorus | Lentils, nuts, seeds.

Coffee - Sodium | Sea salt, kombucha. Sulfur | Garlic, kale, onion. Phosphorus | Beans, quinoa, nuts. Iron | Spinach, meat, figs.

Salty snacks - Chloride | Celery, olives, tomatoes. Stress hormones | Vitamins B and C.

7. Certain foods speed up metabolism (see next 'page')

8. Protein burns more calories by digestion than any other type of macro. (20-30%)

9. Protein helps maintain muscle during weight loss. And muscle burns more calories than fat.

100 CALORIES OF METABOLISM BOOSTING FOODS

Lemon (without peel)

Chilli Peppers

Caffeine (black coffee)

Matcha (powder)

Eggs

Ginger

Apple cider vinegar

Beans

Cinnamon

Water

10. 1kg of fat = ~7,000 calories

1lb of fat = ~3,5000 calories

That's how much it takes to gain/lost it.

11. A healthy deficit is up to 500 calories below your TDEE>

12. Never eat below or on your BMR. Your BMR is what you need to function at total rest. (It's what you need in a coma.)

13. After 7 days of fasting, your body is using more muscle for energy than fay. Fasting is useless at that point. REVISION: Partially true. After prolonged fasting (beyond 2-3 days), the body may start breaking down muscle for energy, although this process depends on many factors (hydration, activity level, etc.).

14. Weight training is great for fat loss! Training weights isn't going to make you bulky. It takes ages to do that and loads of training and eating. You'll notice it.

15. You may not notice results at first because your brain is used to seeing a different weight in the mirror. Ignore the mirror. Ignore the scale too (It can't tell you the difference between fat and muscle) and FOCUS ON YOUR MINDSET.

[matcha-milkies]

OCTOBER 14, 1977

Summary: Gravity Falls is a backwards town in more ways than one.

Alternatively: A twenty-something Ford has to listen to the ramblings of two homophobic diner patrons and it is not improving his already questionable emotional wellbeing.

Content Warnings: Homophobia

Tags: Young Ford Pines, Gay Ford Pines, Pre-Portal Incident, Greasy’s Diner, 1970s, Gay Rights, Anger, Loneliness, Estrangement, Ford Pines Has Issues, Ford Pines Needs A Hug, Emotional Constipation

Word Count: 1,013

Link to AO3: Here

A/N: Gay pride is over. Time for gay wrath

Ford is bent over a newspaper at a booth at Greasy’s Diner, hand in his hair, pretending to be focused on the crossword. He taps his pen against the table. If he were actually paying attention he would be done with this “puzzle” in the time it takes to write the answers, but his mind is elsewhere. He picks up his coffee and sips at it tepidly, while the two truckers at the counter rattle off complaints about the state of the country around stacks of pancakes and smiley-face eggs and bacon. Every so often, words like “unbelievable” and “indecent” waft across the space. None of these are the words he needs.

5 across, four letters, unflattering rumors.

Mother. Jobs. School. Children.

5 across, four letters, unflattering rumors.

Right. Wrong. Trees. Fruits.

5 across, four letters, un…

Ford sees the waitress coming his way and flags her down. “Excuse me. Could I get…” A thought occurs to him that almost makes his mouth pull back in a guffaw. He taps his pen a little faster, reconsidering. “…do you have any banana cream pie?”

She doesn’t read the news. She takes the request at face value. “Sure thing! I’ll have it right out.” Hefting a stack of empty plates from another table, she saunters around the counter. Ford watches her leave without really watching her, head perched glumly in his hand. His mouth pulls taut again, and this time it’s in a thin, fleeting frown. The truck drivers are washing their breakfast down with a couple of glasses of orange juice. Ford fixates on the color, his mind beginning to wander as their conversation finally, finally fades to blissful background noise. He sips his coffee.

5 across…

He remembers when his father used to sit him down and explain certain universal truths about the nature of humanity. To watch out for people who would try to tell him lies. Ford had believed so wholeheartedly back then. And how easy it had been, how good it had felt, to be on the right side. The good side.

Maybe he should call his mother. Maybe there are things that she should know. Maybe if he explained them to her, and she explained them to Dad… 

He closes the newspaper. On the front page is a picture that’s supposed to be indecent. Stanley would probably find it funny. Wouldn’t he? Ford thinks about writing in the margins with a Sharpie and looking up Stanley’s address and mailing the paper to him. “Look at this. Look what happened. Isn’t this just hysterical?” That was absurd, they hadn’t spoken in years, why would he send this to Stanley?

The corner of the newspaper is pinched between his fingers and he realizes they’re trembling. Too much coffee. He stows his hands in his lap and waits for his banana cream pie. Unfortunately, somehow, this brings the truckers’ conversation back into full focus, and God, they just will not shut up. Ford has a very active imagination. In his mind’s eye he shoots out of his chair and waves the newspaper around in a half-crazed tirade and starts shouting them down with logic and common sense. He does what he knows he will also do in the shower next week and gets into a full-blown argument with himself, acting out some imaginary scene where he plays all the parts. He tenses in his seat and his fingers curl against his thighs and—

A plate clatters onto the table next to his coffee.

“One slice of banana cream pie!” the waitress chirps. “Can I get anything else for ya?”

“Uh,” Ford says, blinking. “No. Um. No. Thank you.”

“Alright then, enjoy!” She smiles and walks away again. He picks up his fork and just stares at the thing, like he’s going to somehow consume it with his eyeballs. That’s an odd mental image.

It’s a very tasty-looking pie. The white cream on top looks light as a cloud, the crust is golden and crumbly. He can’t remember the last time he treated himself to something like this. Of course, one cannot have the thing and eat it too. He frowns, side-eying the truckers not for the first time. They’re laughing and nudging each other, maybe at someone else’s expense.

He gets up from the cushioned seat, plate in hand. He realizes his hand is still shaking. Too much coffee. Is he really about to do this? His feet move without his permission, one after the other, oh my god I’m actually doing this. He slips into the seat right next to the truckers, an odd smile on his lips. He leans over like one of them is about to tell a joke and he wants to hear it. The two of them stutter and eye him with mostly confusion. The plate lifts in Ford’s hand, heavy at first and then suddenly weightless as momentum builds. He pushes it into the nearest truck driver’s face, and it smears white chunks all over from his dark eyebrows down to his beard.

“Hey!” shouts the other one, shooting up from his seat and knocking the stool over in the process. Ford somehow can’t bring himself to care. He’s doubled over laughing, and he can’t stop, clutching his sides, giving himself stitches, practically suffocating. The first trucker, the one who got hit, is in shock, picking sugary bits of pie out of his beard, more confusion than confection smeared across his face.

Ford wakes from the daydream. He’s still seated at his booth, his pie still sitting neatly in front of him. The truckers are still blabbing on, although they’ve moved on from talk of the press conference. Maybe they did a long time ago. The moment passes. He doesn’t want to get banned from the diner is all.

Still, Stanley would have done it.

What an absurd thought to have. Stanley would never be here.

Ford stabs his fork into his pie and eats it, and to be fair, he does enjoy it very much, although maybe he would’ve enjoyed having it a little more.

A/N: I wrote this to work out some frustration I’ve been feeling lately with gay acceptance, which is better than it used to be but I still encounter people online comparing it to alcoholism which almost makes ME want to dive headfirst into alcoholism so

It was either this or smash mailboxes with a baseball bat

[assortedvillainvault]

Hi! I was browsing the Lord Shen tag and found your blog 👀. I loved the headcanons for ShenxReader through the wolf henchmen's pov ❤️.

Would you mind sharing some headcanons but from the pov of the fluffy Lord peacock himself?

Hi Anon, thank you so much!!

I'm so sorry that my Lord Shen Masterlist slipped my mind - I'm fighting tumblrs atrocious tag search to find my previous writings for him and get them on there for you. In the meantime please - have some more!

Lord Shen x Reader Headcannons

- This stuck up, mithery, hairpin tempered ball of anxiety and condescension is officially your problem now. I mean. You chose this, so I’ll leave it to you as to what end of the bad choices scale you’re landing on, but man. You sure picked.

- I also can’t get over the fact that – in China and most of the East: white is associated with death and sadness, and mourning. You not only picked the unhinged genocide gun bird, you picked the only person in all of China to be literally born emo via albinism.

- I will get back to the above, but I’m mcfucking losing it over the image of Shen being. The smaller of the two of you.

- Like if you were a smaller creature he could properly get his elegant noble stride on, nose in the air and tail gently swishing behind him as he circles you, admiring every angle and relishing the nervous, excited little glances you give him. He might not be a strictly predatory species but he sure loves that thrilling edge of not-quite-stalking. He’s too high class for the genuine article, that’s what he has the wolves for.

- But if you had the audacity to be larger than him?!

- He’d grind his teeth if he had any. He wants so badly to intimidate you – making sure to step with an extra click of metal coated talons, words honey-barbed and sticky as he looks for chinks in your armour, having to crane his head back and up to look you in the eye and- look- could, could you just- just lean down? Lean down for goodness sake just- there. There. Lovely. As he was saying…

- Shen going to go bananas planning the perfect courtship. Everything must be. Exactly. As he plans it. God forbid you trip on the stairs. If you bribe the guards to move all furniture two inches to the left you’re going to have a great time watching Shen’s eyelid twitch for twenty minutes as he tries to figure out what’s ticking him off.

- Want a shortcut? Say nice things about his cannon. No seriously, it’s not a euphemism (though it could be-)

- The cannon is the culmination of Shen’s ambitions, the reason for his exile, the demonstration of ingenuity that set him apart. Seeing you run a hand smoothly over the intricate castings and complimenting his life's work is going to fill him with so many butterflies he’ll have the wedding ready by noon.

- Of course he does, underneath all the royal snobbery and sass, really, genuinely like you. More than he ever thought he could ever like another person. Go you.

- ...He can’t contain the terror that you might not like him back. Not because of all the murder, no, that’s clearly not the issue. But because he isn’t perfect enough for you. Because he’s not enough.

- Shen popped out of his egg all but rocking the 2007 bangs and MCR soundtrack of his time: born the colours of death in a house and species traditionally all the colours of the rainbow will have been like a self fulfilling prophesy – unspoken but not forgotten as he grew up and internalised his inadequacy by striving for excellence in literally everything else in life.

- Excellence in the form of weaponry, security, excessive control and genocidal ruthlessness. Combined with ingenuity, high intelligence and paranoia: all wrapped in a package of straining courtly manners and a need to constantly have the upper hand.

- You keep taking the fucking rug out from under him by reversing the script and being nice. Even his nanny (soothsayer, who has having a great time munching popcorn and giving incidental commentary) gives him shit and drives him up the wall – yet you’re out here, smiling (how dare you-) and- and saying he looks good (he knows, knows he looks sickly and out of place, a reaper amongst royalty-) and – of course you want to hand his hand really, who wouldn’t (who would?) - he’s fine, he’s fine-

- If he dared to let you go, he’d shatter like a discarded doll.

- How does it feel, reader, to hold the fate of all China in the balance of your smile?