#ban wanted that cookie so bad

[p34ce0fm1nd]

Speak No Evil (2024)

[cheyisagirlkisser]

.・College Ellie Headcannons゜・

Note: This is more loser Ellie-centric, I wanna maybe do a part two with just reader and her. Some sexual content and mentions of getting zooted below so 18+ warning!

•Art major, but she’s not the typical hot artsy lesbian you dream of her to be. More like rolls a fat blunt and sketches in her journal, it’ll either turn out to be a masterpiece or look like a crackhead had a go with her paper.

•Speaking of art major, when she’s horny and frustrated because she refuses to hook-up…she draws the lewdest art known to woman-kind. Those are her real masterpieces, but she can’t exactly turn them in for credit in her art class, can she? Fuck, the things that woman can make, though. Lowkey uses her exes naked bodies as inspiration though, maybe kind of weird but who’s gonna stop her?

•Doesn’t eat the food on campus half the time. She is embarrassingly addicted to Tai Pei containers and the occasional microwavable egg-roll. “That shit’s nasty, Ellie! Goddamn, just eat the Tacos 4 Life we have on campus.” Her friends will all tell her, but no. It’s like a guilty pleasure. Maybe it’s cause she grew up lower class and is used to TV dinners, has a special trauma bond to food that should be banned and probably is outside of America.

•Wardrobe consists of band tees, honorable mentions to Gorillaz and Falling in Reverse.

•Is actually an insanely talented writer. After reading her journals I feel like nobody talks about how emotional her entries are and she keeps a journal of her own in college for sure, not only for sketching and organizing art but also to write all her feelings out.

“Fuck me, this is my last year being gay.” -After her and Cat’s break-up, probably.

•Hates coffee. Definitely game-cannon, but this is important to the college setting. It’s the classic Monster or nothing, and she will absolutely judge you for drinking coffee. She calls it “the devil’s dirt.” So dramatic.

•Used to watch bad Hallmark movies because of Dina, now watches them alone because she misses Dina. There’s nothing like crying your eyes out to Christmas Under Wraps!

•Has a collection of rubber ducks on her shelf. Doesn’t use her very small space for normal things like her wallet or books, no. It’s rubber fucking ducks.

•Also has a slipper collection in her tiny closet, from Pikachu all the way to dinosaur feet.

•Has the “two-seater” t-shirt (iykyk) but refuses to wear it in public because she’s a pussy

•Favorite fruit is grapes. I just know my girl loves grapes when she can get her hands on them steer clear bc she will NOT share. Favorite candy is gummy worms!

•Actually wears rain boots when it’s wet outside or snowing

•Likes wired earbuds over airpods, listens to Pearl Jam when she misses living with Joel

•Is oddly good at making those little paper stars and has a huge grocery bag of then in all different patterns and colors

•When she starts dating you she shows you her dinosaur cookie-cutter collection because you're really good at baking. (Also bc she wants to see you in a frilly cute apron!)

•Is a slut for hugs. Kisses are cool, sex is great but agghhh Ellie just loves wrapping her arms around you and sometimes when you two are in her dorm she'll just hug you for what feels like hours on end, she calls it her 'weekly therapy.'

•Loves high sex because when she's sober she hates feeling like she's awkward or all up in her head. She also has a tendency to invite you over for sex after smoking.

•Has a septum piercing. Maybe this one is self-indulgent because I would go ballistic over seeing actual Ellie with one, but I say that college Ellie got hers pierced at 16 and didn't cry over the pain but wanted to literally jump off of a bridge the entire healing process it was so bad.

•Sometimes when you kiss her, her septum will slide over and look uneven and she feels fucking NIGERIA FALLS in her boxers when you fix it for her. Also for those of you who are sluts for glasses, you can fix her glasses too and it'll make her just as weak.

[umbrella-show]

ᴏʜ, ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɪᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴋɪɴɢ!

When you were transported to this world, you had just so happened to land in the unexplored forest close to the Cookie Kingdom. You had quickly stumbled across it and were seen by a cookie.

You were soon connected to the Legend of the Baker and cookies insisted you should  officially become ruler of the Cookie Kingdom.

Custard Cookie III was a bit reluctant at first. He did really want to be king, but you were the Baker. You were WAY more important than him. You should definitely rule!

However, the minute you were officially crowned, he ran up to you and begged you to teach him how to be a great ruler so one day, when you step down, he can rule.

And you, being sympathetic and not thinking of a reason why this could be a bad idea, accepted.

Ever since, he’s been visiting you whenever he can and persistently asking about what you do as a ruler.

He wants to know everything. He wants to become a just and powerful king when he eventually takes the throne!

As he gets to know you more, visits become almost daily. He rants to you about anything and everything.

He mostly rants about what he would do as king. How he would help his kingdom thrive. It warms your heart, watching him talk about his desire to make sure every cookie in the kingdom would be happy under his rule.

Eventually, the idea of inheriting the throne almost makes him feel a bit bad. If you ever had to give up power, it would be because something bad would have to happen to you.

He doesn’t want that! It makes him feel sad. He’s not ready yet.

All of his worries and emotions eventually boil over during one of his visits. He cried and hugged your leg as he told you his realization through tears. 

You spent a while comforting him until he stopped crying, reassuring you weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Despite the emotional visit, he acted completely fine the next day when he ran into your office and eagerly began ranting and asking you about royal advice.

He does that the most. He asks you about what you do as ruler and asks you to teach him how to do it so he’s prepared.

Overall, he really looks up to you. He wants to be just like you. He’s like a younger sibling, copying everything you and proclaiming he’ll be just like you. Just like the legendary Baker.

“Why are you looking at so many papers?”

You looked over at Custard Cookie III, who was standing on a chair and peering down at the document you were currently reading. He was visibly confused, his eyes trying to read it. His voice raised as he grew slightly frustrated at the hard time he was having trying to read the document.

“I can’t understand any of this! What does frivolous even mean?!”

You only chuckled, tapping your pen against the table. You gently ruffled his fluffy golden hair, causing him to pout and complain.

“H-Hey, watch the crown!”

Smiling, you stopped, returning to your previous task. Your eyes were glued onto the document, carefully reading word by word. Your eyes shifted from one word to the next and Custard could easily notice the intense focus in your eyes as you carefully read the fine print.

“Most of these papers are about approving trades from the Jelly Bear train and other suppliers, which I have to sign. Some are letters from one of the other Kingdoms that are mostly invites for dances or just meet ups. A lot of those are from the Hollyberry kingdom and Golden Cheese Kingdom.”

You responded, looking over the last paragraph and signing your signature at the bottom of the paper. You set the multiple paged document aside, grabbing another from the pile and starting the process all over again. Custard poted, raising his handmade scepter into the air and declaring.

“Well, when I’m king I’ll ban paperwork, so you’ll never have to do any again!”

You chuckled, finding his naivety amusing. You put your pen down, flexing the stiff muscles in your hand and stretching your arms in the air. Silence filled the room as you stretched, before you felt Custard suddenly grab the hem of your outfit, gently tugging. He looked up at you, his face troubled and his voice soft.

“Can we do something else?”

You stared at him, then the papers, then back at him. He was making puppy dog eyes. You could feel your resolve weaken at the sight. You softly sighed, getting up from your office chair and grabbing your coat. You could see Custard was beaming from the corner of your eyes, making you smile as he hastily grabbed his scepter.

“Alright. How about a walk through the garden?”

“Yay!”

You giggled at his excitement while you buttoned up your coat and walked over to the office doors, holding them open for him. You watched as he raced out the door and took your hand, practically skipping down the halls. You smiled as you saw he occasionally glanced at the banners and decorations hung on the walls.

“I can’t for this all to be mine one day. I’m going to be the best king anyone’s ever seen!”

“I believe you will.”

You quietly agreed, squeezing his hand reassuringly. He giggled as he began to run quicker down the walls and pulling you with him.

“I can’t wait to be king!”

Dont focus too much on the Baker's design I'm still tryin to figure it out 😭 🙏

[mj0702]

New Year🔞🔞

There is smut content in there so... MINORS NO NO!!!

What a Party it had been. Patri really went all out for this new year party she hosted. Jenni wore a simple black piece hugging her figure just perfectly her eyes in a – what you called vintage – smoky eyes in silver and black makeup her lips painted in a dark red nearly brown-ish. Alexia the complete contrast as usual wore cream light but elegant pants, a – also vintage – crop top (you'd never dare to call your girlfriends old into their faces so you always settle for “vintage” instead) and simple makeup. You – the most simple out of the three of you – wore simply Jeans (you wanted to go in sweaters but both Alexia and Jenni threatened to tie you to a lamp post and just leave you there if you would dare to leave the house in sweat pants) and a Ralph Laurent Polo. Surprise you weren't the only one. You found yourself in a corner with Caro, Ewa, Laura (Keiras girlfriend) and Esmee all sporting the Jeans 'n Polo look standing there awkwardly all of you a cup of something in your hand. It was like a scene from a bad High school movie where all the nerds standing in a corner watching the popular girls while all your girlfriends (minus Ewa who still longed after that girl in her old Club and Esmee who had a dating ban by your girlfriend – the Barcelona one not the Mexican one – after the drama caused with Esmees ex-boyfriend) had the best time on the makeshift dancefloor

“So... how was your Christmas?” Caro asked after 15 minutes of heavy silence

“Oh... yeah... good” Ewa shrugged her shoulders “... spend it with my family in Poland”

“Careful there Pajor...” you smirked nodding at Laura “... not that you get invaded... again”

“hey.... that was ONE time...” Laura rolled her eyes playfully

“Wait what??” Esmee looked confused “Laura invaded Ewa? Uh oh.. Keira won't like that”

“Yeah no...” you snorted “... Lauras grands invaded Poland... and the Netherlands”

“Oooooh....” the young player looked curious “.... why?”

“Hun... I know you're young...” Laura started patting Esmees head “... but even you should've heard of World War II … Jexias plaything over here just loves to milk them Austrian jokes”

“Ooooooh... yeah I heard of that...” Esmee nodded while Caro snorted into her drink

“England was invaded too...” the norwegian pointed out making Laura groan

“Not really no...” you pursed your lips “... our leadership knew what they were doing”

“Can we please stop making bad 1930s jokes?” the Austrian huffed but the little twinkle in her eyes showed that she wasn't mad

“Because you'd lose again?” Esmee asked innocently

“Careful there kid...” Laura pointed her finger at the youngster “... or you and I will have a little face off tomorrow”

“I still have tomorrow off...” the young dutch exclaimed

“You won't if you keep choosing the wrong side” the Austrian raised her eyebrow

“Come to the dark side...” Ewa threw her arm around Esmees shoulders “... we have cookies”

“And alcohol” you pointed out lifting your cup

“And alcohol” the polish player confirmed

“Alexia said I'm not allowed to have alcohol during the season” Esmee hung her head

“First.. she's not looking...” you quickly glanced at your girlfriend who was dancing with Jenni before you pushed you cup into the young players hands “... secondly... drink that”

“Bad influence... all of you” Caro shook her head smiling

“Are you going to report us all to Marta?” you challenged her an eyebrow raised while you “helped” Esmee drowning your drink – you simply held the cup so the young one couldn't do anything else than drink

“And get in trouble because I didn't stop you?” the norwegian snorted “Hell Naah”

“Jesus... that's strong...” Esmee now coughed a little bit after she emptied your cup “... what is that”

“It should've been a Mojito....” you shrugged your shoulders “... I might went a little hard on the Rum...”

“It tasted like... pure Rum” the young player pulled a face

“Because it was...” you said unphased “... I forgot what else belongs into a Mojito so I went for the ingredients I knew... Rum”

“Isn't there sugar in it?” Ewa wondered out loud

“Yeah... but try to find sugar in a pro athletes household...” you waved your hand around Patris home

“Huh... true” Ewa nodded while Laura and Caro started laughing

“I think our Cari is enjoying herself” Jenni husked against Alexias ear her hands on the blondes hips while Alexias back is pressed into the older ones front the Catalans arms hanging loosely around her girlfriends neck

“Mhm...” Alexia hummed after she quickly glanced over to you “... and with Caro and Laura there we don't need to worry that her, Esmee and Ewa get into trouble”

“I wouldn't go that far” the dark haired one chuckled “... she can be quite the brat if she wants to”

“You love it if we act a little out of line” the blonde smirked turning in her girlfriends arms so she can look at Jenni

“I love it even more when I get you both back into line” Jenni smirked bending down kissing Alexia softly

“Get a room” Pina hollered from the other side of the room which caused Jenni to deepen the kiss lifting her left arm and showing Pina the middle finger

“NOT my room!!! NOT any room in my house!!” Patri panicky interrupted when she saw that Pina was about to contra Jenni once more

“You just have to turn the music up Pats...” the dark haired one smirked after she ended the kiss “... both of them can get quite loud”

“Oh god” Jenni and Alexia heard your faint groan bursting out laughing

“Why would you yell at each other in a room?” Esmee asked with the innocents of a child after your groan of embarrassment making Ewa, Caro and Laura burst out laughing

“Jenni and Alexia are both....” you tried to do damage control “... intense people”

“Intense... yeah...” Caro chuckled wiping away a tear “... call it intense”

“I mean I never played with Jenni...” the young player pondered

“Y/n does that quite frequently...” Laura laughed at your misery

“Really?? When?? You play here...” dear god that girl was naïve “... and she plays in Mexico”

“Whenever she's here... ain't that right Tygrysku??” Ewa pressed out before she broke down laughing again

“Can I come and play with Jenni too?” Esmee looked at you pleadingly

“NO” you exclaimed sending the people around you into a new fit of laughter

“Gosh...” the young player rolled her eyes “... you really are egoistic... playing with the best players in the world and not even willing to share”

“Oh she's sharing alright” Caro heaved out trying to get some air into her lungs

“Can you please stop” you pleaded

“Defiantly not...” Ewa pressed out holding onto Lauras shoulder so she wouldn't fall over from laughing

“Sweetie...” Laura started in an overly motherly voice “... Y/n isn't playing football with them....”

“Well... what else would she play with them?” Esmee looked confused

“They're...” Caro started before she had to think for a second “... shaking sheets”

“That makes no sense” Esmee rolled her eyes “... I know for a fact Y/n has a woman coming in once a week cleaning her flat because she's too lazy... I bet she's shaking the sheets too”

“No she's not” Ewa snorted “... not in that way”

“I want to die...” you groaned in agony “... can't the floor open up and swallow me whole?”

“They're playing... bedroom rodeo” the norwegian now clarified waiting for Esmee to catch on – and oh you could see the moment she did

“EW....” the young player exclaimed disgusted looking wide eyed at you “YUCK!!! That's basically mi Mamí you're talking about”

“DON'T call her that” you groaned your head in your hands trying to hide your beet red face

“Even the fans say she's basically my football Mamí” Esmee looked outraged at you

“Please... for the love of god... I pay you whatever you want... just...” you looked desperate which didn't go unnoticed by your girlfriends “... stop calling her Mamí”

“WHY???” the young one exclaimed and again the three players around you exploded laughing

“I think I'm gonna pee myself” Ewa was laughing so hard she hardly got any air into her lungs “... this is gold”

“Just...” you took a deep breath “... stop”

“Everything alright here?” you know heard the voice of Alexia right behind you and at the tone you heard that she expected an answer – most likely from you

“Everything alright” you turned around putting up your best (very pained) smile

“Then why are you looking like you just want to drop dead?” your girlfriend raised an eyebrow

“Esmee and I just.... settled some...” you started before Ewa interrupted you

“Misunderstandings” the polish player snorted trying to hold her laughter in

“I didn't ask you...” Alexia fixed her player with a glare “... Cari?”

“Y/n said I'm not allowed to call you Mamí..” Esmee exclaimed “.. but even fans say you're my football mom”

“Hmm...” the catalan hummed her eyes not leaving yours making you squirmy

“Come here...” Alexia said low but not low enough but you stayed rooted in your place not wanting to give the group around you even more material to make fun of you

“Really?” the blonde just raised her eyebrow giving you a last chance and you knew it “I advice you to think hard about it...”

“Can we please not here...” you said your voice quite sharp – sharper than you intended

“Watch your tone” Alexia was instantly in your personal space towering over you not even leaving you time to react “... now be good and come here”

“You're right in front of me” you snapped “... where should I go then?”

You should've known that it was a bad idea to challenge Alexia Putellas. With her being nearly 15cm higher than you, pure muscle AND spanish-hot-blooded you knew there was no way you would win fighting against her. So the second the words left your mouth you looked up in horror right in time to see Alexias face switch from surprised to disbelieve. A second later her big hand made its way to the back of your neck locking in place pushing you past her and through the whole room. To your relief no one except the small group who were the start of all evil noticed what was happening. Well... no one except Jenni of course who always had an eye whenever Alexia and you interact knowing that sometimes both of you were to stubborn to listen to each other. So the second she saw Alexias hand dart around your neck she was already on her way to interfere whatever argument you two were “settling”

“I don't know what was in that cup you had in your hand before” Alexia sneered the second the front door fell shut behind you two “... but you better pray it gave you enough courage to tell me what THAT was in there”

“You were right in front of me...” you grumbled back wincing a little bit when the blondes hand squeezed a little tighter

“Wrong answer...” the catalan sneered “... think again and think HARD what comes out of that bratty mouth of yours next”

“Well hello...” you heard Jennis surprised voice behind you

“You keep yourself out of it Jennifer” Alexia snapped shortly glancing at your girlfriend

“Ay... I did nothing...” Jenni lifted her hands in surrender “... I'm just here to make sure you don't kill her and end up in prison.. your ass is too pretty for prison”

“Oh you find that funny sí?” Alexia snapped at you shaking you a little bit by the neck as you snorted at Jennis comment

“You do have a nice ass...” you admitted the alcohol in your system not letting you grab the situation “... I must know... I stare at it often enough”

“Are you...” the blonde got thrown off track by your behaviour “... drunk?”

“Teeny tiny little itsy Bitsy bit” you giggled the alcohol kicking in full force now that you were outside breathing fresh air

“Mierda..” Jenni chuckled under her breath “... it took her all of 30 minutes”

“I can't even punish her for being bratty” Alexia looked outraged at Jenni like the older one stole her ice cream

“Amor....” the dark haired one chuckled “... either you sober her up or you wait until tomorrow and then punish her”

“How should I sober her up right now right here?” the catalan asked Jenni bewildered

“Ice water? Coffee??” Jenni offered knowing Alexia wouldn't have the heart to dunk you in ice water

“Uh” the blonde groaned while you looked intensely at Patris butterfly figure next to the door “... she'll cost me my last nerve”

“The joys of love” the older one snorted “... let her be for tonight Amor... I'll let you do whatever you want to her tomorrow...”

“It's not like I have a choice...” Alexia grumbled “... she wouldn't remember anyway”

“Let's get her some water... and some Ibuprofen” Jenni smiled as you tried to poke the butterfly wondering why it wouldn't fly away

It's not like you planned on getting drunk. But being a pro athlete that only has a drink now and then or at some celebration at the end of the season – that Mojito really brought you down. You didn't remember Jenni and Alexia getting you to drink glass after glass of water with you getting distracted every five seconds to the point were the blonde considered just hitting you over the head with a bottle so you would sleep it off. Jenni had a field day watching the two of you bickering the whole evening only stepping in when she noticed Alexia was near losing it. You didn't remembered that you saw them two kiss at midnight sending you into a frenzy where you actively ran away from them out of the house tears clouding your vision so that you fell over Patris porch railing straight into a bush of dark red roses. When Jenni and Alexia who were hot on your heels found you crying in them roses both of them really had to hold in their laughter. What they didn't expect was that you didn't wanted to be touched by either of them – it took a drunk off her ass Ewa Pajor to pull you out of the rose bush (with Patri yelling in agony about her damn roses) and an Ingrid Engen to calm you down so at least Jenni was allowed to sit next to you. When she asked what was going on with you knowing fully well that drunk you was a very emotional you you started crying again how your girlfriend Alexia kissed your other girlfriend Jenni and they both cheated on you with each other. Drunk you also didn't do common sense. Not realizing that your girlfriends were right in front of you. Alexia let out a string of spanish curse words how one could be so stupid making you cry even harder. Jenni got you to calm down by telling you she will have words with Alexia and Jenni that under no circumstances is it okay to forget about you but only if you'd agree to go home with her. You agreed under the deal of her sleeping on the couch – you were a lot but no cheater. The oldest one chuckled and agreed. By the time you three were home you were fast asleep against Alexias chest drooling on her crop top.

“I can't believe that happened tonight” the blonde rolled her eyes as she carefully slipped out from under you

“I can't believe I have to have words with myself” Jenni snorted reaching over you to unbuckle your seatbelt

“How did she get so drunk so quickly?” Alexia shook her head at your black out state

“She never could hold her alcohol” the dark haired snorted while she pulled you out of the car “... just... let's get her to bed”

Jenni should learn pretty quickly that this task alone was a whole other fight. You woke up the moment the dark haired one sat you down on the bed starting to open your Jeans. Alexia went into the Bathroom to get something to clean you up and to change you into (it's either one of hers or Jennis t-shirts) when she heard you panic screeching from the bedroom

“What's going on??” the catalan rushed back into the bedroom to find Jenni standing at the foot of the bed while you were pressed against the headboard a pillow pressed to your middle

“Ale...” you cried out

“Sí Cari?” the blonde features soften a little bit as you shuffled over to the edge of the bed, getting stuck in the blankets falling face first out of said bed to then quickly jump up wobbling behind Alexia for cover

“This woman wanted to.... you know” you whisper yelled behind Alexia with absolute urgency

“This woman???” Jenni exclaimed making you shriek ducking further behind your blonde girlfriend

“Bebé...” Alexia said softly “... it's okay...”

“No it's not!!” you huffed “.... she wanted to get into my pants!!”

“She's drunk... she's drunk... she's drunk....” the dark haired spaniard mumbled to herself so she wouldn't lose it while Alexia tried to not burst out laughing

“Normally you like it when Jenni gets into your pants” the blonde snorted “... come Cari.... let's get your drunk ass into bed”

“But....” you pouted “.... there's a stranger in our bedroom”

“Stranger?” Jenni looked at you with wide eyes while Alexia bursted out laughing

“It's okay Cari....” the catalan laughed “... she's a good friend... she just needs a couch to sleep on”

“Are you really kicking me out of OUR bedroom because of drunky there??” the older woman looked at Alexia outraged

“Just wait until she's asleep and come to bed” the blonde rolled her eyes manoeuvring you back onto the bed

“Since when am I the bad one?” Jenni mumbled as she left the bedroom

“You can come back” Alexia called out just as her girlfriend left the room

“I can't believe she declared me as a stranger who tried to rape her” the older one grumbled

“You know that she's not thinking straight when she's drunk” the blonde said as she pulled your pants off your legs

“But still... I'm her girlfriend!” Jenni huffed as she started to undress herself

“Yes you are” Alexia said carefully

“But?” the dark haired one asked an eyebrow raised

“You aren't around as much as I am...” the catalan pointed out “... we live together... and I KNOW you do everything possible to be here as much as possible... but...”

“It's not enough” Jenni sighed as she got into bed next to you

“It is Jenni... she's not thinking straight...” Alexia said softly getting in on your other side

“Apparently it isn't” the dark haired one huffed

“Don't get hung up on that....” the blonde rolled her eyes “... we'll find a solution one day”

“You both can move to Mexico...” Jenni kept her voice light even tho Alexia heard how much it hurt her girlfriend

“Not in a million years” Alexia played into it “... you know what they say... Barca is Alexia... Alexia is Barca”

“They can have a human sized cardboard cut out from you... can tape it to the side of Nuo” the older one chuckled tiredly

“You're an ass” the blonde chuckled kicking her girlfriend lightly under the blanket

You woke up because you felt so warm. Your head felt heavy and you needed a second to realize where you were and why you felt so hot. You turned your head to find Jenni spooning you from behind her arm loosely around your midsection while Alexia laid in front of you – more half under you. Of course you fell asleep in between the two space heaters you called your girlfriends. These two women had a body temperature from around 200 degrees and always complain how cold it was hence the extra blankets. You on the other hand were english – you literally melted every time you shared a bed with Jenni AND Alexia. One of them was bad enough but both of them... sudden death for you. But there was something else that made you feel hot. Alexias leg was slotted in between yours and her thigh pressed right into a very delicate area. If you were really quiet and REALLY carefully you probably could get away with getting yourself off on the Catalans thigh. You knew both of your girlfriends were normally dead to the world sleepers – even more when they have time off. So you really carefully started to move your hips a little to test the waters a little bit so even IF one of them woke up you could still play it off as getting uncomfortable and just needed to move a little. After your initial try you waited a few seconds to see if one (or in the worst case scenario both) of your girlfriends stirred but nothing. So you got bold. You pressed your centre down on Alexias thigh and out of reflex your blonde girlfriend flexed her muscle making you suck in your breath

“I hope you're not doing what I think your doing Cari” Jennis voice cut sharp through the silence

“Fuck” you swore and jumped a little turning your head quickly looking at your girlfriend with big eyes

“So...” the lanky spaniard looked at you expectantly “... where you doing what I think you were doing?”

“I....” you stammered “... no?”

“No?” Jenni raised an eyebrow “... to me it looked like you were trying to get off on Ales thigh”

“No no no no no” you quickly shook your head “.... I was getting.. uncomfortable... you both are too hot”

“Gracias Cari” the dark haired one smirked wolfish “... but I KNOW you tried to get yourself off... alone the fact that you waited to see if one of us would wake up... you know neither Ale nor I will let that slide.... even tho it was just an attempt... a very poor attempt”

“I didn't...” you started but one look from Jenni shut you right up

“Why are you two so loud?” Alexia groaned next to you

“Our dear Cari just tried to get off on your thigh and now is trying to lie about it” Jenni informed Alexia who shot right up into a sitting position

“You what??” the blonde glared at you which you couldn't quite take seriously since her hair was sporting the fresh out of bed look making her look like a confused Owl and not like Alexia “I can make people cry just looking at them” Putellas

“I... didn't...” you started but the way your lips pressed into a thin line told Alexia everything

“Oh I can promise you now...” the blonde looked down at you “... you will regret that”

“You wanted to come didn't you” Alexia whispered into ear while Jenni was busy eating you out “So you'll come... over and over and over again... until I AM satisfied”

“Ale... por favor” you whined trying to push Jenni away from you

“No Cariño...” the blonde whispered sweetly “.... you were so SO bratty yesterday... challenging me in front of everyone... then you called Jenni a stranger and hurt her with that... and THEN... if you weren't in problems anyway you thought it would be a good idea to use ME to get off... not very clever Bebé”

“Please...” you whimpered but with Alexia having your leg in a dead grip with her legs and Jenni having your other leg over her shoulder you had no chance to get away any time soon

“Come Cari...” the catalan growled into your ear “... come for me”

You did just that. Your back arched off the bed your body trembled and shuddered your eyes screwed shut as you came hard. Alexia smirked against your skin not letting go of you. You on the other hand didn't know where you were for a second. Not only did the blonde keep her hold on you also Jenni didn't stop. From your experience you knew the Madrista could go for hours.

“Ale please... no more” you begged the catalan who just chuckled against your skin before she gently nipped at it

“Oh mi Corazon...” Alexia shushed you “... you WANTED this”

“No I.... dear JESUS” you squeaked out feeling two of Jennis long fingers entering you roughly

“Just Jesus? The last time you called us “oh god”...” Jenni grinned from her position between your legs “... not doing my job well enough then...”

“Very well...” you groaned “... too well... enough well”

“Oh Bebé...” your blonde girlfriend now taunted you “... if you can still talk back then Jenni isn't doing her job properly”

“No... please” you begged again tears starting to form in your eyes when you felt the dark haired one thrusting her fingers in and out of you in a rapid pace and now on top sucking on your clit

“Ssshh Cari... let Jenni do her job and loosen you up for me” Alexia whispered sweetly her nose brushing against your cheek “.... you have no idea what I have in mind for you”

“Ale... por favor” you whined

“No mi Bebé...” the blonde kept her voice sweet “.. you wanted to come... now you'll come”

“I can't.... no more” you screamed out and still your body betrayed you reaching it's climax on Jennis long fingers

“Huh.... that just looked different to me” Alexia faked surprise knowing you wouldn't be done after two orgasms “... be good for us Cari”

“You are pure evil Ale” Jenni smirked from her position between your legs

“She ASKED for it..” the blond defended herself before she turned her attention back to you “... and whatever Jenni does to you know Bebé... I'll do too... only for twice as long and three times as often”

“No please” tears spilled down your cheeks knowing exactly Alexia would do just that to the point where you either tap out or use your safe word

“Oh sí mi Hermosa Corazon” the catalan murmured as she pressed open mouthed kisses to your throat

You groaned pitifully knowing you just.... lost. You feel Alexias evil smirk against your skin and right this moment you accepted your faith. The bed dipped but the blondes hand against your jaw and cheek prevented you from looking what's going to happen. But you didn't need to wait long until you realize what's going on.

“You're so beautiful Bebé” you heard Jenni murmur her hands stroking over your thighs her thumb digging into your muscle there “... you're gonna look even more beautiful stretched around my dick”

“No no no no no” you whined wriggling around but the dirty chuckle from Alexia told you everything you needed to know

“Sí Corazon...” the dark haired one smirked nudging your legs further apart with her own thighs making more room for herself “... just relax....”

You whined when you felt the head of the strap pushed inside you but at least Jenni was kind enough to give you a moment to adjust before pushing further until she bottomed out her hips flush with yours.

“So beautiful” the older one mumbled her hands gently stroking over your stomach “So tight”

“You're getting soft Hermoso” Alexia smirked looking over her shoulder at her girlfriend

“YOU are the one torturing her... not me... I'm just here to let her have fun” Jenni wriggled her eyebrows while she slowly started to gently thrust in to you

It wasn't something that you weren't used to – them speaking about you like you weren't lying writhing in between them. Most of the times you found it extremely sexy but today it hit different fuelling your insecurities and you knew you wouldn't be able to enjoy whatever they have planned with you if you wouldn't word your concerns

“Jenni... el alto” you grunted out and immediately Jenni stopped moving and Alexia looked back down on you – not that you expected anything else

“What's wrong Pequeña?” the dark haired one asked her brows furrowed

“I'm here” your voice raw making Jenni and Alexia looking first at each other than back at you

“Sí... we.. see that” Alexia said carefully not knowing what your point was

“... I mean.. I feel it” Jenni piped up getting slapped by the blonde on the shoulder

“I am HERE” you said lowly

“Sí Bebé... we see you” the blonde catalan said carefully

“Then don't talk like I'm not” you sniffled

“Oh Corazon” Alexia sighed leaning down again pressing her nose into your cheek “... lo siento... we KNOW you are here.... we KNOW”

“Sí...” Jenni nodded slowly not knowing if your head was in the right mindset to continue

“I...” you tried to find the words but you couldn't

“It's okay... breath for me mi amor” the catalan said her voice low “... while you are a brat sometimes you can always talk to us”

“I need you to relax for me Corazon” the dark haired spaniard above you said softly about to pull out as you stopped her

“No...” your hand basically flew to her hip your fingers grabbing the harness to stop her from moving

“Sí Bebé....” Jenni kept her voice soft “... your head isn't here...”

“I can...” you started again before Alexia interrupted you

“We know you CAN...” the blonde whispered “... but there's no use right now... I will get my way... don't you worry... but right now you need something else... you need us...”

“Don't tell me what I need” you snapped

“Cari...” Alexia warned you but she knew this was just a way of you coping “... this is going a VERY long year if you don't watch it...”

“I KNOW what I can take” you shot back a slight feeling of failure making it's way into your mind

“Basta” Jenni interrupted her voice strict “... let go Cari”

You begrudgingly let go of the harness and Jenni pulled back and out of you oh so carefully but still making you grunt in process

“I know Bebé” the dark haired one said softly as she wriggled out of the harness disposing it carelessly on the floor before crawling up your body pressing soft kisses to your skin “... you did so good”

“No I didn't...” you huffed “... failed both of you”

“Ay non of that” Alexia interrupted your train of thoughts firmly “... stop thinking... you did NOT fail me or Jenni or us... you made us proud by telling us what you need”

“Sí... so good for us” Jenni murmured against your skin “... but we need you to tell us what you need right now”

“I need...” you stammered “... I don't know what I need”

“Space? Gym? A run?” Alexia provided

“No” you looked at her shocked

“Cuddles? Bath? Breakfast?” Jenni smirked

“Yes” you sighed sinking deeper into the pillows letting yourself relax a little

“Which of the offered things?” your blonde girlfriend asked

“All of them” you answered like it was the most obvious thing making Jenni snort as she laid down next to you

“All of them?” Alexia asked her eyebrow raised but her eyes soft

“Sí...” you nodded letting the dark haired one pull you into her side

“You heard her Ale... vamos...” Jenni smiled widely keeping her tight hold on you

“You can also...” the blonde started confused and immediately Jenni shook her head

“Can't... someone has to stay with our Cariño” the lanky one smirked

“Increíble...” Alexia mumbled rolling her eyes swinging her legs out of the bed “... usarla para no hacer nada”

“Someone has to look after her...” Jenni yelled after Alexia who just flipped her off on her way to your bathroom getting started on that bath

“What do you want for breakfast Cari?” Alexia asked from behind you holding you securely in her arms while you had your eye closed simply enjoying the warmth of the water and the calming smell of Sandalwood, Chamomile and a little splash of citrus oil

With you being very open to stress and anxiety Alexia started quite early in your relationship to read and study about different ways to reduce your stress and calm your mind and body. You weren't open to everything she introduced you to like mediation. Even tho you could meditate if your in the mindset for it most times the quiet left you even more overwhelmed than relaxed. The blonde figured out very quickly that if the technique got pushed on you that you left the session even more stressed so she put a stop to it immediately and kept on looking for other solutions. Sometimes skin to skin contact helped you immensely and sometimes even the lightest body contact sent you into a frenzy. But what always worked was scent. If it was in form of a Bath like now or Candles or a few drops of oil that your catalan girlfriend sneaked on your pillow before you went to bed. And yet it was a long road to figure out what worked best. You absolutely despised anything too floral or too woody. Citrus always worked but citrus wasn't very calming so Alexia experimented a lot until she got the perfect mixture for you. She didn't mind one bit always one for learning new things exploring new directions. She even used Mapí and Pina a couple of time as a cross reference. Pina apparently was allergic to Jasmine – poor woman sneezed for two days straight after Alexia held the little bottle under her nose asking if she likes that smell.

“Breakfast is nearly ready” Jenni appeared in the doorway keeping her voice low seeing how you basically melted into Alexias embrace

“Vinga Cari...” Alexia mumbled against your temple “... esmorzar”

“No...” you whined your eyes still closed

“Sí... vinga” the blonde said pushing you slightly to sit up more

“If you move at this rate we can make dinner out of it” Jenni rolled her eyes disappearing again

“Come on Cariño....” the catalan poked your sides making you whine even louder “.... you know we'll never hear the end of it if we need too long and Jennis hard fought breakfast making is for nothing”

“We can eat it later... it's only cut up fruit” you whine sinking back slowly again

“I made eggs!!” your other girlfriend yelled from the kitchen knowing you and Alexia bashing her breakfast skills

“I rather get a red in a Champions League final than to end up in hospital again because of food poisoning” you mumbled making Alexia bark out a laugh

“We'll just let her eat first...” the blonde smiled “... if she drops dead from the chair we know not to eat it”

“You see....” you slowly got out of the bath “... food poisoning takes time... even IF she eats first... it's at least four hours until the symptoms kick in... I'm NOT risking it again”

“I'll never do anything for you again if you don't move your ass soon” the dark haired one yelled from the kitchen again and you heard she's getting annoyed

“We're already moving” Alexia yelled back wrapping you in a big fluffy towel

“Good...” was the answer you got as you pulled an old t-shirt (probably Jennis according to the length of it) and put on some boxers Alexia held out to you knowing you prefer those to “normal” underwear

“I don't feel good...” you mumbled your back pressed against Jennis front as you were laying on the couch her arm loosely around your midsection your feet in Alexias lap

“What's wrong Corazon” the dark haired one murmured from behind you her eyes closed as she was about to drift off to sleep

“My stomach hurts” you whine trying to get more comfortable

“Oh no...” your catalan girlfriend looked over alarmed “... not again”

“What you mean again?” Jenni lifted her head slightly looking at the blonde

“You cooked her into hospital before” Alexia said eyeing the lanky one until she caught on

“ONE time... that was ONE time” your girlfriend exclaimed

“Ale...” you whined holding your stomach

“Oh Bebé...” the blonde was up as a shot kneeling next to your body

“Hurts” you whimpered while Jenni looked flabbergasted

“I used the book you gave me for Christmas!!!” Jenni defended herself

“And still our Cari is laying here in pain...” Alexia snapped at your girlfriend “... Jesús Jennifer... why do you always have to offer to cook”

“I followed the book step by step” your dark haired girlfriend huffed starting to gently massage your stomach making you groan

“We should go to the hospital” the catalan mumbled stroking some hair out of your face

“Tea... we could make tea” Jenni said quickly “... tea is good for stomach”

That's when it happened. You quickly sat up thinking you need to puke. Alexia scrambling away thinking the same. She loved you but it was not on her new years agenda to get puked on by her girlfriend. But no... the burp that left your body was everything but NOT human. Jenni and Alexia looked at you like you were transforming into a demon right in front of you while you smiled happily instantly feeling better.

“Now I feel better” you declare grinning widely as you threw your body back on the couch getting comfortable again

“That was...” Jenni looked down at you then back up at Alexia

“... I'm at loss for words” Alexia shook her head still shocked “... how can such a pequeña Cariño make such a sound??”

“It's a special talent” you smiled cheerful “... you should look up the video where Mapí challenged me to do the Sprite-challenge... THAT was loud”

“I'm dating a child...” the catalan said bewildered “... a literal child”

“Found it” Jenni held up her phone grinning widely

“Two children...” Alexia shook her head stunned listening to Mapís voice cheering you on to ex the bottle and then the demonic sound coming out of the phone while Jenni nearly died laughing and you grinning pleased

[l0s3rd0wnt0wn]

One step, two step, three step, ow! Part 2: Oliver starts taking the reader out on father-daughter dates, and Ollie goes all out (flowers, sweets, cute baskets of things, etc.). The others and Bruce realize this when they try to invite the reader to a family movie night, but she's busy going to Star City to watch a movie with Ollie and Dinah.

I didn't know so many people loved this one, lol. But I'm glad you all enjoyed it so much.

Oliver will honestly spend his time with the reader because the Batfam sometimes forgets to invite you to family events like movie nights, games, or anything really. So, your next best thing is to call up Ollie and spend the day with him, playing board games, destroying Ollie at Uno, and singing with Dinah. The bats will be so confused about where you are, only to find you doing archery lessons with Connor. You'll ask Ollie to take you to school dances, thinking that Bruce is too busy and doesn't care, only to discover he cleared his whole schedule just to find Ollie spending time with his little girl and dancing with him at some silly school dance. It drives the press crazy, and it drives Bruce crazy too. Oliver is stealing his daughter without even trying; he's picking you up for daddy-daughter dates. Bruce is growing more gray hair, and you're already replacing the Batfam with the Arrow family. Damian's rivalry with Connor will skyrocket; the beef they will have will be so one-sided. Like, how dare he steal my older sister, just for Connor to want to hang out with you at the arcade? It starts getting real bad when there’s a picture floating around Twitter of Ollie picking you up in the air while you laugh your face off. This leaves Bruce in shambles for a good few weeks until he literally bans Oliver from picking you up and taking you anywhere, same with Dinah—no, you guys can't bake cookies together It’s finally a night where you were never invited to family night before—no, but you are now—and they'll make you the center of attention, which makes you a bit scared. You're not used to everyone being so nice. It’s like you're on an episode of one of those prank TV series where the camera crew walks out and tells you it's a prank, but there's no camera crew and no boom mic hitting you in the back of the head. There’s no director saying "action." It’s just you guys in this big living room that feels cramped for some reason in front of this big flat-screen TV. Why is everyone looking at you play? Why is Tim pretending to be bad at Tekken 8? He’s a god at Tekken! What’s happening right now? Are you in an episode of the Twilight Zone? 'Cause why is it your turn, and why the hell are they playing to your whims like puppets on a goddamn string? Someone call Roy and get you the hell out of this house before they start gaslighting you into clearing your plans for the day and hanging out with them.

[morallysuperiorlips]

Oddly Specific Romance Writing Prompts Vol. 9: Grocery Shopping

"You're not pushing the cart." "Aw, why?" "Because last time you tried to pop a wheelie and crashed into a wine display. We got banned from that store for 6 months." "...but it was a sick wheelie." "...it was a sick wheelie."

"So hear me out. The grapes are on BOGO so if we get 30 packs now, we can--" "No." "But--" "I don't even want to hear you finish that thought. No."

"You are so bad at picking out carts. How is it that out of the hundreds in the cart hold, you picked the one where half the wheels don't work?" "I always root for the underdog, [NAME]."

"We need to get you a collar. With a bell. Because I spend more time trying to find you than actually shopping."

"Remind me again why we need six types of coffee?" "Because coffee is a love language." "Point taken."

"[NAME] we're just here for the essentials for dinner, don't go throwing random sweets and junk in the cart--" "But...chocolate chip cookies are BOGO." "...okay, we can make an exception."

"I love you, but I really need to stop letting you make the shopping lists." "Why, what's wrong with it?" "Your handwriting sucks."

"Hypothetically speaking, if I ran to the flower aisle and got you a bouquet of roses, would you like that?" "Hypothetically speaking, if you did decide to do that, then yes, I would." "Be right back."

"I want to make us a nice dinner tonight, so I'm thinking..." "Air fryer dino nuggets?" "You know me so well."

"Honey. You know I love you. But can we please get something other than pasta for dinner?"

"What do you want for a snack?" "Um, you, I think."

(If you like my guides, prompts, writing, or art, consider supporting the blog today! All donations help me keep this thing up and running and all are appreciated <3)

[archangeldyke-all]

Sevika and reader being grumbly whiskey aunts together!!!

They just want to sit on their porch together. <3

this is EVERYTHING to me

men and minors dni

you spend your evenings on your screened-in front porch, passing a smoke back and forth, one of you occasionally getting up to grab fresh drinks and snacks from the house.

you're both total grumps, but the kids (vander and silco's ofc) know that if they're ever in trouble, the first house to call is their aunts'.

lmaoooo now i'm imagining jinx calling you for a ride home from a party she shouldn't be at-- and you and sevika showing up to pick her up-- grinding and making out in front of all her friends just so she learns her lesson adkfj;laskjd

over the years, you've hosted the kids in your house for all kinds of reasons. claggor spent a month living with you guys when the three little kids were bogged down with a flu they kept passing around. in a rebellion against his dads' video games ban on him after they caught him smoking weed at fourteen, mylo and his xbox moved in with the two of you. jinx and vi come over for 'girl nights' all the time when they're growing up, and when violet gets laid off from her first job, she crashes with the two of you until she can get back on her feet.

they're the only kids you tolerate though. neighborhood kids are terrified of you and sevika-- both of you are total grumps, and little slayer and sugar are the exact same.

(but you make up for your bad reputation in the neighborhood on halloween-- you're always the house that gives out full sized candy bars.)

your elderly neighbors though? they love you and sevika.

they appreciate that you're just as grumpy as them. they always wave to you from their porches, where they sit every evening along with you guys. they like that you don't give a shit about the home owners association, and that sevika sometimes even does shit just to piss them off. (she painted your fence hot pink after being told by the HOA that the natural wood needed to be painted white. she earned the hearts of all your grumpy old neighbors with that move.)

as a result, you're always being given plates of cookies and pans of casseroles by the old ladies in the neighborhood, the old men are always coming over to share a smoke with sevika and exchange books, gardening tips, and garage tools. (you and sevika repay their hospitality by shoveling their sidewalks and raking their leaves for them in the shitty weather.)

you're constantly being told by old folks that you're 'the nicest lesbians we've ever met.'

sevika always laughs at this, then asks how many lesbians they have met. the answer is always just the two of you.

(one time, though, a little old lady informs you that her granddaughter is a lesbian 'just like you two,' and that she was so happy when she came out to her because 'you'll be just like my lovely neighbors!' this one makes you cry... and even sevika tears up a bit.)

in the summer, you've got a big fan you can flick on to keep you cool on your porch.

in the winter, you've got a little space heater you can pull closer to your matching rocking chairs.

after a few years, sevika even builds you an outside bed, so that after an evening of drinking whiskey and sharing a joint you can cuddle in each other's arms outside and listen to the crickets and frogs chirping before heading in for the evening.

your porch is your favorite little spot in the whole wide world. sevika's planted a jungle of plants surrounding it, and it's like your little oasis from the real world. you've got christmas lights strung around the ceiling that stay up all year long, lighting the porch when the sun finally sets. you've got dog and cat beds scattered everywhere so your animals can join you. there's ash trays, pipes, books, and bottles littered everywhere, and there's always at least a dozen potted plants scattered around inside your little sanctuary.

it's heaven.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette @ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re

[ollyissleepy]

𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐬

summary: christmas without cookies? no, that's not right! christmas is nothing without some baked goods so you and your boyfriend decided to bake some! Also let's judge their baking and decorating skills! a/n: I'm finally home for holiday break, doing a ton of baking in order to prepare so it's so fitting (I love being the baker of the family around holidays/s) cw: maybe fome swearing? idk

series masterlist

sucks at baking, lowkey a god at decorating

"Alright, Rafayel, the cookies are ready!" You call out for your boyfriend, that was temporary banned from the kitchen.

"Finally! You should've let me help you" your boyfriend comes in to the room and stands next to you.

"And risk christmas without cookies? Yeah, no" you move away from the counter to make space for Rafayel. "Now do your job, Mr. Artist"

And he does. Who knew that having an artist as a boyfriend would have it's perks? All of your friends and family can't stop gushing about how pretty the cookies are and how they feel guilty about eating these small pieces of art.

"Here, I made two that look like us."

really fun to bake with (stuff the two of you bake comes out edible), refuses to decorate ('it won't change the taste, so why do that?' type of mf)

"They look… decent enough" Sylus says after pulling cookies out of the oven.

"It's all gonna come together once we decorate them" You look over his shoulder to check how they're turned out.

"We're not doing that." Sylus turns around and now you're face is centimeters away from his.

"What? Why?" You try your best to understand Sylus's position on the matter.

"Doesn't change the taste and it's the only thing that matters" Sylus shrugs.

"But with decorating they'll look pretty" you try your best to reason with your boyfriend as you were really looking forward to decorate them.

"Doesn't convince me." He ruffles your hair before walking away from the kitchen.

You end up sneaking in to the kitchen with the twins and decorate the cookies regardless.

surprisingly good at decorating, as long as he follows the recipe all is good

"Aww, Xav, you made this one look like a polar bear. So adorable" you look over at your boyfriend's most recently done cookie.

"And yours looks like Santa" Xavier smiles at you only for you to smile back at him.

The two of you were decorating the cookies for quite some time, occasionally eating the ones that didn't come out right. You pick up another human-shaped cookie, when you have an idea.

"We should make ones that look like us" you examine the cookie and the icing to make sure you have the right colours to pull it off.

"No." Xavier pics up a cookie that's shaped like christmas tree and starts working on it.

"Why?" You question him, focusing your entire attention on your boyfriend.

"I'd feel bad about eating you"

good at baking (it's that doctor skills or something), doesn't really care for decorating (would do a decent job if asked)

"And they're ready" Zayne says, pulling the last batch out of the oven.

"Wow, I fell like I just watched a magic show or something" you say, sitting on the counter. "Anyway, let's get to decorating" you jump off and prepare the cooled batch for decorating.

"Sure" your boyfriend helps you set everything up.

The two of you work together on different designs on cookies, chatting away on random topics. The cookies come out looking quite good. Yes, some of them came out a little funky, but that doesn't mean they're any less tasty. Let's just say these ones were reserved just for the two of you.

taglist: @leighsartworks216 @faeryminnyx @iloveboysinred @sstar-ggirl @bellagrayson-wayne

you want in? fill out this form!

[bizzyboysbizzydays]

Bizzyboys first dates

I love these lil guys leave me ALONE. I'm self insert trash and that's just how the cookie crumbles. I am cringe but I am free.

Yes this is based off of the post about bad dates with the Bizzyboys i think it's so funny

Patty: -I think Patty would prefer an exciting first date! Things like amusement parks or fairs, extremely high energy with LOTS of things to do. -He'd want to win you EVERY toy he possibly could. Whether or not hes good at the games is an entirely different story. -Big on PDA and affection. It might be a first date but he is hugging and hand holding like it's his last day in the Grove and he'd DIE if he didn't get attention. -Tries to pay for literally everything like the lil gentleguy he is. -Date ends with you giving him a kiss on the head, he is on cloud 9 and ready to pronounce his eternal love.

Bananathaniel: -As a cinephile obviously the first date is going to be a movie date. You two watch the movie in complete silence and go out for dinner afterwards in which the floodgates are open. -You better either be REALLY into Ban, or REALLY into movies, because he is going to talk the entire time about the movie and it's themes, camera work, acting, everything. -It's hard to be too mad about it, when he asks for your opinion and is genuinely interested in your thoughts (even if he might argue with them a little. or a lot.) -Not a lot of PDA on the first date since it's entirely focused on the movie but you do get a nice hug afterwards :)

Alexei: -This is the most obvious first date ever. You go to a fast food place and eat until you both almost pass out. -There's no PDA. Only voracious feasting that terrifies the employees and gives small children nightmares. -The date ends with you both on a couch passed out with cheeto dust everywhere. It's not your couch. It's not even Alexei's couch. How'd you get into Capochin's house.

Vibiano: -Another restaurant but this one is fancier. -It's a pretty average date, small talk and awkward chatter. -He keeps checking his phone every 4 minutes before he "suddenly gets a phone call" and has to leave, sticking you with the bill. -He makes it up later with a fully customized outfit left at your door and a note to call him later so he can "make sure it fits properly". -It does fit properly, and he takes you out on a better date for the next one.

Grujaja: -How'd you even manage to get a date with this guy. -Extremely lowkey date. You hang out in a quiet field somewhere. -You do have to constantly reassure him that it's ok and everything is fine. -If he hears a loud noise he'd 100% bail and you'd never see him again due to the embarrassment. -Maybe next time just do a home cooked meal.

Capochin: -Genuinely how did you get him to agree to this. -Despite how he tries to come off, he is extremely nervous. -The date would be something chill, he would've preferred to just. Invite you to his house and make a meal there but ultimately settled for a casual (but not too casual) restaurant. -His ass HAS NOT dated since he was around his 20s. Forgot how to date at all, actually. -The date ends with him feeling like the dumbest mother fucker ever and you having to reassure him it wasn't THAT bad and you'd had worse. -Date ends with you giving him a kiss on the cheek and him speed walking away in embarrassment.

BONUS!!!

Inspekta: -The date takes place in his domain, obviously. He's wrapped around you holding you close as you watch movies on one of the various screens under his desk. -He talks a LOT during the movie, he needs your constant undivided attention. -If you ignore him for too long he'll squeeze around you tighter and tighter like a constrictor until you finally acknowledge him again. -It's as private as a date could get, if you ignore Capo irritably bringing in snacks for the both of you. -Date ends with Inspekta patting you on the head and telling you you should come back soon. Preferably tomorrow. For longer.

Hector: -Similar to the Inspekta date, but this time its on the couch with him bear hugging you from behind. -Less talkative, but still squeezes you when he wants attention (all the time). -You probably lose feeling in a few limbs from how little movement you get, but it's hard to be mad at him when he falls asleep with his head resting against your shoulder. -It's less cute when you realize he's heavier than you and you can't escape.

[cierraonline]

Hold up you have an issue with pazzi? Bc the way these far from the truth fics are set up 😂

I don't have a problem with pazzi if I'm also in the equation. If it's not a throuple then Pazzi don't exist to me.

Europe Special Part One 

chapter three: europe special part one

warning:  none

masterlist link | previous chapter | next chapter

XXX

DELTA AIR LINE PLANE

MIDDLE OF NO WHERE

9 HOURS AWAY FROM CROATIA

So, this is it.

You are scored on my heart, Clark.

You were, from the first day you walked in.

With your sweet smile and your ridiculous clothes.

And your bad jokes.

and your complete inability

to ever hide a single thing that you felt.

Don't think of me too often.

I do not want you getting sad.

Just live well.

Just live.

I'll be walking beside you every step of the way.

Love, Will

“Are they okay?” The Delta Air Lines flight attendant walked over to the section where the University of Connecticut women’s basketball team was seated, glancing back and forth between the head coach and Sasha and Azzi, who were sobbing uncontrollably while staring at their devices.

“They’re fine,” Geno waved off the scene, though the gut-wrenching crying had already drawn the attention of several travelers nearby.

“They don’t look fine,” the flight attendant hesitated, unsure if she should trust his word.

“Trust me,” Geno gave her a pointed look. “This is them crying quietly.”

“Well, should I bring them some tissues or maybe a free cookie?” The middle-aged woman suggested, eager to help in any way that might stop the semi-disturbance. Before Geno could tell her not to bother, she strutted away.

“Paige,” Geno tapped one of his guards, reaching across the aisle. “Paige,” he tapped again, more forcefully, disrupting the girl lost in her music, her ruby-red Beats headphones, and a self-motivation book she’d bought from the airport terminal.

“Huh? Wha?” Paige’s blue eyes blinked away from her book and Lana Del Rey’s voice. “What happened?” She quickly pushed off her headphones and turned to see her coach’s semi-annoyed expression.

“Tell the Sasha and Azzi book club over there to keep it down,” Geno pointed to the duo on her right, red-faced and tear-streaked, clutching each other for comfort. “They’re sobbing so loudly that people probably think we’re holding them hostage or something.”

“I told you to ban them from reading,” Paige remarked in an 'I told you so' tone, which her coach clearly didn’t want to hear as he returned to his word puzzle book.

“No one likes a know-it-all, Paige,” Geno rolled his eyes. “Now fix it before we get kicked off the plane.” With that, he resumed his crossword.

"A formal speech, especially one given on a ceremonial occasion (9 letters)... Easy, 'monologue,'" Geno smirked, filling in the word.

“Yo, Thing One and Thing Two, calm it down,” Paige turned to address her wife and best friend. “Y’all are scaring people with your ugly crying.”

“Shut up, Paige,” Azzi glared, wiping under her eyes.

“Yeah, shut up, Paige,” Sasha chimed in, supporting her best friend. “Go back to your depressing music and leave us alone. Don’t worry about what we’ve got going on over here.”

“If it wasn’t for y’all crying so loud, I’d still be reading my book and listening to my ‘depressing music,’” Paige shot back sassily. But she forgot who she was talking to—her wife, aka Ms. Don’t Play With Her.

“Now, you know I don’t have an inch of ugly on me,” Sasha smirked, giving Paige a once-over. “I’m too pretty to ever be called pretty.”

“Who are you?” Azzi laughed, looking at her friend.

“I’ll be that pretty motherfucker,” Sasha smirked.

“A$AP.”

“Yes sir.”

“Rocky!”

“Yes sir!”

“I’m done with y’all!” Paige exclaimed, turning away from them, pushing her headphones back on, and reopening her book.

“Bestie, let’s read the Twilight collection!” Azzi gasped, realizing she still had the books on her iPad, knowing Sasha probably did too.

“You just want me to go on another ‘I hate Bella Swan’ rant, don’t you?” Sasha shook her head.

“Yeah, so I can go on an ‘I hate Alice Cullen’ rant after you,” Azzi grinned.

DELTA AIR LINE PLANE

MIDDLE OF NO WHERE

5 HOURS AWAY FROM CROATIA

“Why are you being creepy?” Sasha mumbled, feeling the gaze of a certain blonde beside her.

“How did you know I was looking at you?” Paige asked, surprised that Sasha, who was dead asleep, could sense her stare.

“I can feel your eyes piercing through my body,” Sasha replied with her eyes still closed, her head resting against Paige. “Now, what do you want?”

“Did you know we’re also going to Barcelona?” Paige’s face lit up with a wide smile, like a kid being handed more candy during a sugar rush.

“And?” Sasha murmured, shifting to get more comfortable.

“What do you mean ‘and’?” Paige furrowed her brows, pushing her wife off her shoulder. “We’re going to Barcelona... we’ve been together for five years... what’s not clicking, Steven?”

“I’m too tired to think, just tell me,” Sasha yawned.

“Ugh, remember the deal we made?” Paige hinted, not wanting to fully give away the answer. “The promise!”

“Still not following…” Sasha forced her body to wake up, knowing Paige wouldn’t stop pestering her.

“The deal was... we would lose our, you know what, before you turned twenty-one, but only if we did it in Barcelona, without actively planning it, and after four years of marriage,” Paige mumbled, trying not to let anyone overhear.

“You woke me up... to tell me that we’re going to Barcelona... because you’re a horny freaky fuck?” Sasha squinted in disbelief.

“Y-yes,” Paige hesitated truthfully, unsure what response she would get.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Sasha smiled, squeezing her cheeks. “So, what’s the plan for Barcelona?”

“I was thinking we could convince Geno to give us our own room when we get there,” Paige smiled hopefully. “After practice, we sneak away, maybe have dinner at a fancy restaurant... and then go back to the hotel to... you know. Then we switch rings while relaxing on the balcony.”

“You’ve been thinking about this for some time, haven’t you?” Sasha smirked, her eyes filled with adoration for her adorable wife, who, for some reason, was now acting shy. But it made sense—after all, the two had yet to go beyond a few steamy make-out sessions that had almost gone too far.

“Ever since Geno told me the countries we’d be visiting,” Paige’s smile grew more confident as she gave Sasha’s hand—entwined with hers since the start of the flight—a firm squeeze.

“Well, it’s a good thing I packed that set from Fenty in my suitcase,” Sasha’s suggestive tone sent heat coursing through Paige’s body, the same heat she felt when their kisses got dangerously close to crossing a line.

“The hot pink one?” Paige’s eyes widened in excitement. “You mean the lacy hot pink one with the thigh garters?”

“Yup,” Sasha teased, drawing out the last syllable. “And I brought that skirt you love.”

“The short skater skirt?” Paige whispered, eyes bright.

“That’s the one,” Sasha nodded.

“Does Barcelona have sex stores? I-I think we need to visit one,” Paige stuttered, already imagining how their night in Barcelona would unfold.

“I think they do... but we’ve got time, honey. Barcelona is the last destination of the trip.”

“So I have to wait until the end of the month?” Paige’s jaw dropped in disbelief and desperation.

“Yup,” Sasha nodded again. “But don’t worry, we’ve gone years without sex. I’m sure you can wait another month.”

“Y-yeah,” Paige muttered, though her voice lacked any conviction.

DELTA AIR LINE PLANE

MIDDLE OF NO WHERE

1 HOURS AWAY FROM CROATIA

“Oh my God, I can’t take this anymore,” Sasha groaned, unbuckling her seatbelt and standing up to stretch.

“What are you doing?” Paige’s eyes followed her wife’s every move. “The seatbelt light’s on. You need to be seated.”

“I can’t take it anymore. I need to stand or I’ll literally die inside,” Sasha rolled her eyes as she began doing squats in the aisle.

“Sit down before you get hurt. We only have an hour left,” Paige tried reasoning, but from the way Sasha kept moving, it was clear her words were going in one ear and out the other.

“If I sit down, I’ll go insane,” Sasha huffed. “First, my eyes hurt from reading. Second, they don’t have any more ginger ale, and the flight attendant had the nerve to ask if I wanted Coke. Do I look like a Coke-drinking ass person? I can’t even drink soda like that or my—"

“OCD will be triggered by a sugar rush,” Paige finished for her, already knowing the answer.

“And whoever thought these seats were spacious enough clearly never met a tall person. My knees are killing me,” Sasha continued her rant.

“You’re 5’10. Calm down,” Paige rolled her eyes, just wanting Sasha to sit down before they got reprimanded by the flight attendants.

“And you’re about to be sleeping by yourself when we get to the hotel,” Sasha shot back quickly.

“You know you can’t sleep without me, and I can’t sleep without you. So stop with the empty threats,” Paige dismissed her, and from Sasha’s groan, Paige knew she’d won a small argument for once today.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the seatbelt sign is on. For your safety, please return to your seat and fasten your seatbelt.” The voice of the flight attendant echoed through the cabin, increasing Sasha’s irritation.

“She means you, so sit down now,” Paige used her firm voice, the one reserved for moments of urgency.

“Ugh,” Sasha groaned loudly, not caring about the looks she received. “What the fuck are they staring at?” she mumbled, returning to her seat between a deeply asleep Azzi and Paige.

“They’re staring at you, obviously. Seatbelt light means sit down. No seatbelt light means you can stand.”

“My knees hurting means I need to stand the fuck up, and my knees not hurting means I can sit,” Sasha snapped back, pulling her blanket over her legs. “You get cleared, and suddenly you’re all sassy.”

“No, being married to you means I have to be sassy constantly.”

“So you admit you’re sassy,” Sasha looked at Paige with mock seriousness.

“I’m only sassy because you make me sassy,” Paige retorted.

“I can’t make you do anything you don’t already want to do,” Sasha shook her head. “So, you want to be sassy.”

“Stop talking to me.”

“Guess we hate hearing the truth,” Sasha shrugged. “Call that flight attendant and ask her for a Coke.”

“Weren’t you just saying ‘Do I look like a Coke-drinking ass person?’”

“Shut up, Paige.”

taglist @averette98 @hedidnotpleaseme @unknown5397 @girlyglitterprincess @sunwalker355 @akiracutie @pinkandlilacroses @bennybabyyy @pbueckerslover @pbueckers @okimreadynow @blackbarbie96 @blue-whiteuc @randomhoex @tyler-adaline @espersonalsj @hidden-kay1 @kayckeny @chip-the-teapot @woso-scotland @rickflagfine88897 @amourrnini @hon3y-girl @apreer @stfuzoeyy @50shadesofdeville @rebecca-woso @yourmom-25s-blog @lxonix-ac @kaliblazin @klexiasblog @selenalei @thenewprophecysworld @areyourlightsup @billiesrighthand @lordfarquad-k @rhearipley-69 @vvaaaall @dandelions4us @kluvsspongebob @bratyee @bilssharky

[diremoone]

— Christmas Prompts

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and/or very Happy Holidays and New Year! Feel free to send me some of these dialogue prompts or use them for yourselves as well! ;3

[ the pics are not mine and the beautiful line divider to the wonderful @cafekitsune ]

prompt 1 — “The kids are gonna be pissed there’s no cookies for Santa because you ate them all.”

prompt 2 — “I’ll kiss you anywhere but under the mistletoe.”

prompt 3 — “It’s our baby’s first Christmas. I don’t think they’re going to remember you buying them all of these stuffies.”

prompt 4 — “Merry first Christmas together, baby.”

prompt 5 — “Of course I get sick on Christmas. Only me.”

prompt 6 — “The best Christmas present you could give me is letting me sleep.”

prompt 7 — “Dressing up as Santa isn’t so bad! See?”

prompt 8 — “I know you’ve been wanting to match sweaters. I was looking for ones you’d like to surprise you.”

prompt 9 — “Wake me up when December ends.”

prompt 10 — “I know this is the first time you’ve ever celebrated Christmas.”

prompt 11 — “No that isn’t how you make hot cocoa. You make it with milk, not water.”

prompt 12 — “If you ask me if I wanna build a snowman one more time, I’m gonna break your jaw and ban sexy time.”

prompt 13 — “Oh, my god. Cheesy Christmas movies. I don’t want to— Oh, this one’s actually pretty good.”

prompt 14 — “If that’s your best job at wrapping, I’d say Santa needs to hire some new elves.”

prompt 15 — “I bet there’s gonna be a Christmas pregnancy announcement.” “Yeah, it’ll be ours.”

prompt 16 — “You belong on top of the Christmas tree, angel.”

prompt 17 — “I used to write letters to Santa. No, it’s not cute.”

prompt 18 — “Let me take you to see Christmas lights.”

prompt 19 — “Let’s spend Christmas together. Me, you, and the store bought, pre-lit tree. No? Is it because I insulted the tree?”

prompt 20 — “Baby, I love you, but there are too many sweets. Even for me.”

prompt 21 — “Come back to bed. It’s okay to sleep in. I know you were up all night.”

prompt 22 — “You shouldn’t be cooped up in here by yourself on Christmas.”

prompt 23 — “Yes, I fell and gave myself a concussion and unfortunately had to call you to pick me up. No, hanging tree lights had nothing to do with it.”

prompt 24 — “I didn’t have anyone else to spend Christmas with. Hope you don’t mind if I spend it with you.”

prompt 25 — “I’ve never built a snowman before.”

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

Hey! Love your work and was wondering if you could do one where the reader is a really good cook/baker!

A/N: Hey there! I'm so glad you like my work :D I really hope you enjoy this one too!

DARRY CURTIS

He swore he couldn’t love you any more than he already did but then you went and started cooking for the boys and Darry found out just how wrong he was

It’s so nice to have someone else who can cook and who Darry can trust alone in the kitchen, he knows you’re not gonna start a fire or something

You’re the one cooking dinner now most of the time, simply because the boys like eating your cooking the best

Darry will cook for you sometimes! Especially if you’ve had a bad week or it’s a big milestone in your relationship, blah blah blah, Darry has a thing for taking care of his partners, and that comes out in the form of food

King of hyping up your cooking, especially your chocolate cakes! You’re the only one that can bake a chocolate cake and get Darry to admit that yours tastes better than his cake does 

Also also also, he asks you to pack him lunches sometimes so that he can take it to work with him and just kind of have a little part of you there with him <3 I highly suggest dropping a little handwritten note into his lunchbox, but y’know, that’s just me talking

SODAPOP CURTIS

Don’t tell Darry, but he likes when you cook or bake for him more than when his brother does, Sodapop thinks it just tastes better

*Insert a joke about how Sodapop likes to claim it’s because you make your stuff with love and Darry doesn’t but we all know that’s nonsense*

I kid you not, Sodapop is a bottomless pit and not a picky eater by any stretch of the imagination, so if you need a taste-tester for some dish you’re trying out, look no further than your pretty boy

Show up to the DX with a packed lunch for the two of you, flirt and giggle before giving it to him, stay with him and eat together in the garage on the hood of some ridiculously Soc car that Steve was supposed to fix later in the day

Nothing says I love you more than sitting on a car and laughing during his lunch break, doing nothing but sitting there and just being together

Plus! Steve will get sort of grumpy and pouty because he wanted to have Sodapop with him for his lunch break but you got there before him and he can’t really be mad because you guys are just too cute but he’ll be funny to watch  

PONYBOY CURTIS

You’re into cooking? Baking? That’s cool, Ponyboy has no problem eating whatever you’re working on and loves to be in the kitchen with him

He’s a menace and likes to sit on the countertops or eat the food before it’s cooked, so maybe it’s not always the best idea to have him there with you, but, y’know, he’s cute so it’s way okay!

The two of you have definitely made a mess of Darry’s kitchen at some point, cookies gone wrong or a mini-flour food fight, so there’s a high chance that you’ve gotten Ponyboy banned from the kitchen

If you bring anything treat-wise for him to school, expect the boys to try and steal some of it, especially Two-Bit, that boy will literally steal anything he can

Hype Man pt. 2, Pony talks about your cooking so much that Darry has probably asked you to just come over and cook dinner one day so that Pony will stop telling him about how you’d cook everything differently

Also, strong opinion that he only knows how to cook very simple meals, scrambled eggs and grilled cheeses and things, and is seriously impressed by when you make things that are like even a fraction of a bit of something better than those

DALLAS WINSTON

If your folks are out and you’re planning on cooking? Please oh please, call up Dally and let him in so he can eat whatever you’re making

He’s not helpful, he eats your food and then doesn’t help with the dishes, I wouldn’t recommend him as a sous chef at all

But! He’s honest and will tell you exactly how he feels about what you’re cooking, which can be a blessing and a curse, just as things usually are with our dear Mr. Winston

If Dally doesn’t like something, he’s gonna bitch about it, but if he likes it, god he’s gonna compliment you and compliment you and compliment you and kiss you so many times as a thank you

No one else is allowed to touch anything you make for him, he threatens to and has bitten and snapped at people who get too close to his plates before, I’m not even lying to you

Also, don’t let him cook because Dally’ll probably end up burning something, solid headcanon that he can barely cook, and he’ll probably end up blaming you for whatever he’s messed up!  

JOHNNY CADE

Hard one, I don’t know exactly how I feel about Johnny with an S/O who’d bake or cook all the time, but I know he’d like it!

You’d probably make an extra lunch for him every so often (every other day or so because you know you love him) and the two of you would eat your lunches together at school

Johnny likes everything you make, he’ll tell you how great everything is and shower you with praise and compliments as he shovels food like he’s some sort of chipmunk

I don’t think he’s picky either? Like, I don’t think he cares very much about picking and choosing when it comes to food, he’d rather just put it in his mouth and go on with his life

But I think Johnny has a favorite thing that you make, I don’t know what exactly, but it’s gonna be something sweet, maybe cookies or brownies

He’s a horrendous cook, okay? Recipe or not, he absolutely sucks and it’s terrible having him in the kitchen with you but he likes to stand with you so I think you should just let him hang out as long as he promises not to touch anything- 

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

You’re helping him babysit his sister? And you’re making dinner? For both of them? And you’re having the time of your life in the kitchen?

Two-Bit thought he was in love with you already, jeez louise, he’s so gone for you and is about to have a meltdown because you’re just standing in his kitchen making dinner for everyone 

He tries to kiss you and almost burns himself on the stove because he’s too busy staring at you he doesn’t realize where he placed his hand and then you’ve got to take a break from cooking to take care of him

Two really does like what you cook though! He’s not picky and he’s open to whatever you want to feed him, I promise! 

Come up to him with a spoonful of mystery and tell him to open his mouth and swallow, Two-Bit will do it immediately, no questions asked whatsoever

He’s a good guy, alright, and he’s got simple thoughts, he just really likes seeing you when you’re cooking, when you’re in your element and I think he’d be a really great pal to have in the grocery store 

STEVE RANDLE

Have I mentioned? That Steve? Is a cheerleader? And likes to hype you up? Because that’s running around and around in my mind

For the love of everything, you better have a chocolate cake recipe memorized because that’s what Steve’s always going to ask you to make, he can’t get enough of your chocolate cakes

You’re gonna have to persuade him to eat anything else, honestly, he’s just so in love with you and the cake, it’s gonna be a challenge 

If you don’t let him in the kitchen with you, Steve’s just gonna whine and pout until you eventually cave and let him in from where he’s been throwing a fit in the doorway

He’s good though, he knows when to keep his hands off, especially when he’s coming from work and covered in grease, he honestly really doesn’t want to help with the cooking anyway

Steve would much rather just watch you and talk, laughing about your days and just be there with you while you cook and bake your little heart out  

TIM SHEPARD

He’s picky with food I have a feeling? Like Tim likes what he likes and that’s what he’s gonna eat, y’know?

Bowl of cereal in the morning, a burger when he goes out to the diner, Tim’s not really into the whole trying-new-things but I have a feeling, if you tried hard enough, you could convince him to try something a little new

Present it to him and smile, bat your eyelashes, say your pretty pleases and beg just a little bit and there’s nothing Tim can do but say yes <3

He’s a good person to cook with! I think he knows what he’s doing enough and likes to cook, so I think it could totally be a bonding thing for you!

The moment you cook dinner for Angela and Curly, Tim knows he’s not gonna let you go anywhere because if you love him to care for his siblings as well, Tim knows you’re definitely a keeper

He likes to come up behind you when you’re cooking and hug you, murmuring into your ear as you throw things together, some compliments and some teasing remarks, but they’re all said with such love it makes things totally cool-

CURLY SHEPARD

This little shit, Curly is head over heels even before you tell him that you like to cook/bake, he’s gonna be long gone when he learns about that

He thinks it’s great, absolutely loves it and absolutely loves you, and wants to hear about everything you’ve ever made

You need a taste tester? Someone to go grocery shopping with you? Someone to talk with while you cook?

Don’t you even worry, baby, Curly is more than happy to spend all day in the kitchen with you while he does no cooking whatsoever, just hangs with you

And, so uh, y’know how cookies and brownies and stuff have that sort of window where you just sort of put them in the oven and wait? Yeah, Curly likes to take advantage of that time period and kiss you senseless

Tell me I’m wrong, you can’t because you know that this boy will take any chance he can get to make out with you, regardless if he runs the risk of burning those cookies to a crisp or not-

[nightlessnightwing]

I've been thinking about the whole headcanon that Dick can't cook, so here is my take on it.

Dick can, in fact, cook. He learned how to cook from his mama, forgot about it because Alfred always cooks in the Manor and later asked Haly's circus for his mom's old recipes and started to re learn from there when he lived on his own in Bludhaven.

His family however? They think he couldn't boil an egg without setting the stove on fire. This is mainly because he has a kitchen ban like Bruce. He got that ban when he was 12 andwanted to bake Bruce some cookies. The problem was that he couldn't bake to save his life and set the kitchen on fire. And no matter how many times he begged Alfred for a second chance, he was not allowed in the kitchen anymire.

Anothet reson why his family thinks he can't cook is because whenever they stay over for dinner at Dick's place he orders take out. Not because he doesn't want to cook. It's just a treat. Alfred always makes healthy meals and Jason learned how to cook from Alfred so he eats healthy as well. So whenever his siblings come over, Dick decides to order take out or pizza or go out for Batburger or something as long as it is unhealthy.

And lastly, they think Dick has an addiction to cereal. He doesn't. It's just his comfort food. He eats it at breakfast or as a snack and very rarely both when he's had a really bad day or week.

[ssereinopheliah]

Drabble - Espresso

Lando should be banned from scrolling through his phone right after his race finishes.

This is the exact reason why.

When he gets out of his lift and walks towards his flat, he sees a small pile of amazon packages just sitting there.

Little inconspicuous boxes stacked against his door.

He sighs.

After wheeling in his luggage, he carefully brings in the little packages that he allegedly bought while high on tyre fumes and the lack of sleep.

Sitting down on his carpeted floor, he opens the packages one by one.

A Padel racket with Carlos's face on it

Fair, tame even.

Ugly Christmas sweaters

A little early... but it was fine.

Headphones

Ok, maybe his amazon addiction wasn't so bad after all.

Sweet Tooth- Fragrance by Sabrina Carpenter

What?

Lando sighs, he knows exactly why this was one of the packages delivered to him. It was all due to the memes he found while scrolling through Instagram...

"Can Oscar get up? He does know that there are cameras around him right-

He wants that cookie so bad-

We are going to need a spatula to scrap Oscar off the floor once he's done laughing at lando's jokes. He's not that funny Oscar!

Heart eyes piastri-"

The comments must have rubbed off a certain way because here he was, with a vanilla scented perfume in his hands.

He sprays the perfume, watching as the mist falls down from the nozzle and down onto his clothes. Instantly, the smell of vanilla and chocolate hits him. It was such a sweet and soft scent, a long shot from his usual spiced scents.

Tossing it into the side of his carry on bag, he thinks about when he was going to use it, perhaps during the fan meet? Layering one or two sprays of the perfume with his normal Dior Sauvage would be a nice burst of brightness for the fans.

.

.

The day of the event was a mess. Arriving late to his hotel room to change, he kicks open his luggage to grab his clothes, only for his Dior Sauvage perfume to slide under the bed.

He groans, bending down to pick up the perfume.

“Come on Lando! We gotta go!”

Shit.

Lando scrambles, picking up the Sweet Tooth perfume and just sprays it all over himself. The smell of vanilla and chocolate immediately sticking to his skin.

Rushing out of the hotel room, he barely avoids running into Oscar. Who was also leaving for a mandated events.

“Woah! Sorry there mate.”

Lando said, rushing pass a startled looking Oscar.

“Cookie-”

Oscar had blurted out instead of replying back. His eyes following Lando who was trying his best to sprint down a carpeted hallway.

Lando grins at that, turning back to look at Oscar.

“Is it that sweet?”

.

.

It was nearly 11pm by the time he reaches his hotel room. Slamming the door close, he turns to his bed, trying to get the perfume out from under the bed again.

That was when he heard the room door next to him open and close. Two seconds later, there was a knock on his door.

Groaning, Lando gets up and goes to open his door.

Coming face to face with Oscar, he smiles.

“Osc?”

Oscar was standing at his doorway, his hair fluffy with the little princely swoop at his forehead. Lando almost coos at that, leaning his body weight out to brush at his hair.

Oscar allows it, breathing in as his eyes flutters close for a moment while Lando muses with his hair.

Soon, he opens his eyes, reaching up to pluck Lando’s hands away from his hair. He then moves quickly, pushing Lando backwards from the door frame and into his room.

Hastily slamming the door behind him with his foot, he crowds Lando into a wall, one hand still connected while the other rests comfortably on his waist.

Leaning in, he burrows his face into Lando’s neck. Letting the sweet scent that he caught in the afternoon surround him once again.

Lando, being suddenly manoeuvred and pressed into a wall by his teammate, stays still as Oscar gets familiar with his collarbone.

Breathlessly, he says

“You want this cookie so bad huh?”

Oscar lets out a soft groan, crowding in closer as the loose grip he had on Lando’s hips grow tighter.

His mouth opens, tongue pressed fleetingly against Lando’s skin.

“I guess so.”

[hello-universe-lovers]

SHENANIGANS: Where Mai gives headcanons to the Voices in your Head ™️ based purely off vibes!!

This episode: THE VOICES IN COOKING/BAKING

So we are back here again. Time to whip out the cakes and be sure to NOT forget to turn off the oven! Uhh spoilers kinda

Voice of the HERO: Look, I love Hero. And she is admittedly good with a lot of things. Fighting, leading (when push comes to shove), negotiating, gardening...but COOKING is where she struggles. Like, she's not bad that warrants a ban from the kitchen, and she can cook. It's just not great. And she beats herself up over it. The food itself is fine, maybe a lil burnt but serviceable.

Voice of the SMITTEN: do I need to say why he would be a good cook? This is a canon fact!what else is there to say?! Well...I can say he prefers to experiment and go overboard. Leftovers are NOT allowed when he's in charge, so everyone leaves stuffed.

Voice of the SKEPTIC: this may just be me, but Skeptic is the guy you go to for if you want something good and simple. He's not the best, but unlike hero he doesn't beat himself up over it. He makes a lot and there is plenty for tomorrow, if you feel like it. The Prince of Comfort Food.

Voice of of the CHEATED: luck may not be on her side, but the culinary gods sure are! She is EXTREMELY careful so there's no spill to trip over, no accidental knife tricks, no using the wrong ingredients or spices, unless they just don't have something. She basically "cheat-proof" the kitchen the best of her abilities. Sometimes she fails, and that sends her spiraling. But when she succeeds, she is so happy!! Oh, and her food is OK. What? Smitten takes the crown of Cooking King, she ain't beating him.

Voice of the PARANOID: surprise, surprise, he stress bakes. But only in the oddest of hours during bouts of nightmare and insomnia. Sure he doesn't do it ALL the time, but hey, can't go wrong with chocolate chip cookies at 2 AM with some Chai. Default Comfort Food King of the Voices.

Voice of the STUBBORN: In line with my hc of him being Aussie: let the man GRILL. He is meticulous in prepping, cutting, marinating the best meats he can get his hands on. He treats the kitchen like a battleground (which is why someone needs to help him clean up). But you don't wanna eat JUST that every day. Luckily, when he cooks, there's plenty for the next month or so. That's plenty of time to cleanse your palette.

Voice of the BROKEN: due to her legs, she can't exactly stand still and make a meal for 10 other people. But she is willing to help with cooking all the same. It makes her feel useful. Often with Hero or Cheated, you'd find her on a chair or in the corner, diligently peeling onions, potatoes, and such with automation not unlike a robot. Her appetite, though, leads her to not being able to join them for meal time. But it's ok, she grabs a plate later and enjoys it then. Sometimes you don't gotta force your gut.

Voice of the OPPORTUNIST: As a diligent boyfriend, he has picked up a recipe or two to show Thorn. Much like Hero, his meals are fine. Not good, not bad. The issue comes from actually being left alone to do anything. Most of the time, he doesn't like cooking for himself, let alone for the others. It's just something he picked up out of necessity. He'd settle with any leftovers if Smitten didn't had a say in that. However, they have a chore wheel for a reason so every 2 weeks, he sucks it up and cooks. He would just intentionally suck ass to not be put up to this, but that's not who he is, anymore.

Voice of the COLD: much like his hair still being silky smoothe for no reason, so is his "non-existent" cooking skills. Every time it's his turn, there's only one thing and it's a stew from some kind. Its a good stew, but since they never see him do anything, everyone thinks he just got Belle over to cook for him. Cold is not answering their questions, so it's a mystery. (Skeptic has tried to catch Belle, with no luck).

Voice of HUNTED: he doesn't cook, case close. He hates the conflicting smells and spices, he hates the stoves and oven, he hates how there are so many knives in one place. Sometimes he's more paranoid than Paranoid, in the kitchen. If you let him cook, it's something that won't straight up kill you, but he woule be uncomfortable through the process. Though, if it's just to watch others cook, he is perfectly fine, excited even. Because he's not alone and he can step in and help them if they get injured.

Voice of the CONTRARIAN: you'd think she's chaotic and...you'd be absolutely right. Weird food cravings and combos, odd snacks and drinks, Connie is the food fiend and OFFICALLY banned from the kitchen. That sign doesn't stop her bc she can't read tho. So rather than entering the kitchen alone, she sneaks in to modify that day's meal. This is where Hunted comes into play. It's a cat and mouse game, in there. Still, no one can stop her from eating stuff like lady fingers dipped in ranch dressing. Or bacon wrapped strawberries. (Smitten absolutely had a heart attack)

BONUS: COOKING TOGETHER.

They rarely cook together, like all in one, since they only have one kitchen. But it's their best memories together. Sometimes they invite the Princesses so they can make much more than usual. It becomes a psudeo date/picnic with everyone enjoying each other's company.

And they always save 2 plates for Shifty and Larry. They may be Gods who are experiencing everything through their voices and vessels, but they still deserve a plate at the table. (They appreciate it)

[petew21-blog]

Charmed: Leo's jealousy

Could you believe her? I know we split up, but it didn't even take her that long and she found herself a new guy. Her neighbor, Dan. Oh piss off Dan. Me and Piper were amazing together, just the nature of me being a whitelighter and her a Charmed one got in the way sometimes. I was still their whitelighter so there was no way we would end up seeing each other. Which was even worse for me to see her with a new guy in his arms

Dan moved in few months ago. He was always observing Piper and the girls, just trying to seem like a sexy non chalant neighbor, who doesn't know that the three girl nextdoor are gonna observe him washing a car. Just get a life Dan

Deep in my mind, I knew that me and Piper were gone. Not to be a couple ever again. That's why I was so jealous of them. I made their life a bit of hell to be honest, not really fullfilling the duties of a friendly guardian whitelighter, but a bit of a crazy ex boyfriend. The elders wanted to take the girls away from me and ban me the entrance to their house. But I was faster. I knew what I had to do.

I arrived at the Halliwell house. Watching Piper in the window doing what she loved the most. Cooking. I always loved to observe her making her way in the kitchen. But Leo won't be going there tonight, no. My location is nextdoor actually.

I hid in his bedroom. I heard a car pull up and then the door. I was ready. The memory dust in my right palm, ready for Dan.

As he entered the room in shock, he couldn't even react. I blew the dust into his face. He coughed for a bit and then just stared blankly.

"You will forget everything about who you are. You have never lived in San Fransisco. You stole the car from someone in the city and you are on the run. The one you stole his wallet and money is me. I am Dan. You felt bad so you returned me my wallet, ID and everything you wanted to steal from me that is in your pockets right now. You will leave the shirt here too. You are just a thief, as you have always been. You will take only the car and you will leave to Mexico. There you will find a job as Mike, the surfer. You won't come back to the States. You love Mexico. You will never come back. Now go and leave."

His eyes blinked rapidly. Then he took everything out of his pockets as I told him so. He took of his sweather, that he got from Piper, and revealed his manly torso. "Damn, that's gonna be me soon." Then he just turned around and I saw him through the window driving away.

"Great. Now there is only one thing left."

I said as I put glamour on me to pass off easily.

Long hair appeared over my head, muscular torso underneath my shirt. His thighs were more mascular than mine. His dick looks nice, but I still think mine was bigger. Nevermind, if it pleases Piper, that's all good for me.

Now all I need is the girls to invite me to the house in case that they enchanted the house. If they invite me in I am allowed to. So there is one move I know from Dan that I'm gonna use

Just as I expected. Piper didn't even let me finish watering the lawn.

"Hey, Dan. Where is your car? Thought you were gonna wash it."

"I had to borrow it to a friend. But something tells me he might now give it back."

Piper laughed even tho it wasn't mean as a joke. This woman is so into him

"Hey, wanna come inside? I baked fresh cookies."

Haha. This was easier than I thought

The next morning:

"Wow, you prepared this all for me? Dan that's so lovely. Thank you."

"Well, I thought that maybe after last night you might be hungry. Or are you hungry for more of something else?" I crawled over to her over the bed.

I could se that she was really in love with him. She liked Dan. She likes me. Hahha. I am Dan now and I have Piper all for me. We are gonna be forever together.

"Hey, I was thinking we could go for vacation to Mexico. I always wanted to try surfing. Haha"

Fuck. Maybe I should get more of that memory powder

Anonymous story request in inbox:

Charmed: Leo is extremely jealous of the relationship developing between Piper and Dan and decides to take Dan‘s place by using memory dust (seemed somewhat like hypnosis from what I remember) on Dan to make him leave, never come back and leave everything he owns behind, including ID, wallet, etc. Leo then glamours into Dan, taking his place.