#bam surprise bitch

[fuckmeyer]

i like to think that anything i put in a post is Fuckmeyer Lite™ & for y'all to see all the premiere batshit content i manage to shove in the tags you gotta smash that like & subscribe button. call that Fuckmeyer Pro™

[ckygetsjobs]

Me after saying I want to drink Dico’s cum like a glass of milk…

[deadghosy]

Hello, I wanted to do a request if it's open, if it's not, ignore that.

Can I ask the Slytherin boys with a Slytherin!(male or gn)!reader that can talk french ? And everytime the reader is surprised/gets injured they talk french ?

Ignore it if you don't want to write it !!!

Have a nice day ! And night !

Slytherin boys reacting to French! Reader getting hurt:

Warning: swearing as usual, Google translated French

Ft. The riddles, Theodore Nott, & Lorenzo Berkshire

Tom Riddle

When you stubbed your toe against the bed frame. You started to curse out in your native language. Alerting Tom who looked in his room to see you holding your toe.

“AH! MON PUTAIN D’ORTEIL !” (My fuckin toe!)

“….you need something?” “YES!”

Mattheo Riddle

He accidentally bumped into you.

Making you fall and hit your head while Mattheo landed on his arse

“You okay?” “No..ouch Ma tête you idiot.” (My head)

“Sorry…”

Theodore Nott

He hit your head on accident when he was over exposing himself on why you should brush your teeth still during summer.

You had walked by him and BAM! Hit in the damn head

“AH TESORO! You alright baby?” He says nervously as he retracted his arm quick to see his beloved friend holding their nose

“MON NEZ, SALOPE!” (My NOSE, bitch!) He knew you weren’t happy…

Lorenzo Berkshire

Poor baby accidentally hurt you by opening a door to quick when you were in front of it ready to leave.

All you wanted was to use the bathroom 😭

“AH Fils de pute!!” You say holding your face (Son of a bitch)

“ARE YOUU OKAY??” “NO!”

[7ndipity]

“That Way”

Jungkook x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Dinner with Jungkooks' parents leads to some interesting discoveries. Follow-up to False Pretenses. Part of the Yes or No series.

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: swearing, very suggestive at the end, reader wears a dress, Jk’s called a bitch(affectionately), one joke about Bam as an attack dog, not proofread

A/N: Another long overdue continuation! I hope you guys like it! I plan to update this series a lot more often now, so lmk what you think!

Masterlist Yes or No m.list

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jungkook didn’t know why he was so nervous for tonight's dinner, everything else today had gone well.

His parents had arrived earlier in the morning, he had taken them out for lunch and to visit a few of their favorite places in the city, everything was perfectly fine.

Yet Jungkook couldn’t quite shake the odd, jittery feeling in his chest as he bustled around the kitchen, double and triple checking everything as he cooked.

He jumped slightly when he heard the doorbell, going to check the intercom to confirm that it was you before answering.

“What’s the password?” He called through the speaker.

“Jk’s a bitch.” You called back with a little smirk.

“Wrong.” He grinned, the tension in his body finally beginning to ease. “If you fail three times, I’ll have to sic Bam on you.”

“Then I guess I’ll just take this cake home for myself then.” You shot back, holding up a box from one of his favorite bakeries.

“Wait wait wait!” He let you in immediately, rushing to open the door for you as soon as he heard you knock.

“You know Bam’s way too sweet to serve as an attack dog right?” You asked with a laugh as you entered, moving to set the cake box on the kitchen counter.

He didn’t answer you, far too busy staring slack-jawed in shock at the sight of you.

You were dressed up, nothing too fancy, just a dark blue sundress with a cardigan, but it was a stark enough contrast to what he was used to seeing you in that he was left slightly dumbstruck for a moment. The way the deep blue color complemented your skin tone, the skirt floating over your hips, showing off your legs perfectly,

It would be soo easy for him to just slip his hands under the fabric and-

“Is it bad?”

Your voice caused his eyes to snap back up to yours. “What?”

“You’re staring, does it look weird?” You asked, shifting nervously.

“No-no, it looks great. You-, you look great.” He breathed.

Just then, the oven beeped in the kitchen behind the two of you, shaking him from his daze, making his way back to the stove.

“You’re cooking?” You questioned, following him.

“Yeah? Why, is that surprising?” He asked, shooting you a grin.

“No, not really.” You answered, glancing around cautiously. “Where are your parents?”

“Mom’s washing up and Dad’s napping.” He explained, nodding towards the hallway.

“Ah.” You nodded, lingering awkwardly behind him in the middle of the kitchen.

“Are you… nervous?” He asked, taking note of your anxious energy.

“A little?” You admitted, fidgeting with your sweater. “I haven’t met a lot of friends' parents before, I don’t really know what to do. What if they don’t like me?”

“Not possible.” He said, pulling you to him by the waist. “Two minutes with you and they’ll love you, trust me.”

You still looked unconvinced, chewing your lip nervously, so he leaned in, catching you off guard as he pressed his lips firmly to yours.

Despite your surprise, you relaxed into his hold almost instinctively, hands coming up to grip his shoulders, letting out a soft sound as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, darting his tongue out to swipe across your bottom lip-

Just as quickly as the kiss began, Jungkook suddenly pulled away, stepping back from you.

“Wha?-” Before you could form a proper question, you picked up the sound of approaching footsteps.

You turned just in time to come face to face with Jungkooks’ mother as she rounded the corner, blinking slightly in surprise at the sight of you.

“Oh, hello, you must be Y/n.” She said warmly.

“I am, it’s nice to meet you.” You said, giving her a polite bow, your face heating up in embarrassment..

“Nice to meet you too.” She replied. “Jungkook’s told us a lot about you.”

“Ah, should I be worried?” You said, only half joking.

His mother chuckled. “Not at all, he speaks very highly of you.”

“Oh really?” You stole a glance over your shoulder at the person in question, his back to you, casually stirring a pot on the stove as if nothing had just happened.

“Don’t let that go to your head, I also told her that you’re a huge pain in the ass.” He replied, shooting you a smirk.

“Sure.” You grinned, turning back to his mother.

The two of you talked comfortably for a bit, his father coming through not long after that, quickly making introductions and joining in on your conversation as Jungkook finished dinner.

The rest of the evening passed peacefully. Dinner was surprisingly comfortable, his parents' friendly nature quickly putting you at ease, laughing at stories they shared of Jungkook’s childhood.

“Y/n seems like a very nice girl,” His mom commented, watching as you disappeared into the kitchen, having offered to serve dessert so that Jungkook could have a bit of a break.

“Yeah, she’s great.” He agreed with a fond smile, missing the way she was watching him.

“I’m glad you’ve found someone that makes you happy.” She added quietly after a moment.

He head whipped around, gaping at her in confusion.

“What?! That’s-, we're not-,” He spluttered. “Y/n and I aren’t dating, mom, we’re just friends.”

She just smiled at him, almost pityingly. “You don’t have to lie, Sweetie, I saw the way you look at each other. Friends don’t look at each other that way.”

“What are you talking about?!” He glanced over at his father for support, but he was met with a mildly amused expression from him. “Y/n is-”

His voice died off instantly as you returned with the cake, picking back up your previous conversation with his mother, completely missing the way Jungkook continued to glance at his mother in disbelief.

The rest of the evening passed without any further incident. You noticed the way Jungkook had suddenly turned rather quiet, seeming very lost in thought, causing you to wonder what was bothering him, but you decided to wait until his parents left to say anything.

Closing the door after they left, he let out a deep sigh, slumping against you tiredly.

“You okay?” You giggled, trying to hold his weight up.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, straightening enough to wrap his arms around you, drawing you close.

“You’re welcome.” You replied, amused at his sudden soft demeanor.

His hands trailed down over your figure, lightly kneading your hips as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

“Stay over?” He asked softly, letting his lips brush against your skin as he spoke. “Let me thank you for everything.”

“I didn’t do that much though.” You argued, tilting your head to the side to give him more access.

“You did.” He breathed. “You’ve done so much.”

You chuckled, squirming slightly in his hold as his hands ghosted back up over your sides.

“Damn, Koo, what’s got you all sentimental?” You teased, brushing your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck.

He didn’t answer, drawing back just enough to meet your gaze, his dark eyes swirling with something you couldn’t quite place before he was crashing his lips against yours with a bruising force.

His hands hungrily roamed your body, groping at your hips and ass, causing you to whine into his mouth, wordlessly begging for more.

Refusing to separate from you for more than a second, he guided you down the hallway to his bedroom, not bothering with the light before pushing you down onto the bed and climbing over you.

This had to be his favorite view in the whole world; you spread out beneath him, skin flushed, chest heaving, sweet little mouth already red and ruined by his ministrations.

His hands traced up your legs, finally bunching up the material of your dress like he'd been dying to do all evening, firmly but gently spreading your legs apart to reveal the growing damp patch on your underwear, showing him just how affected you were by him.

"Fuck,” A low growl left his lips, your scent making his head spin. “I've been starving."

Without another word, he dove in.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @comingupwithacoolnameishard @bo0o0o0ooo @universal-travel-er @ldysmfrst

[11queensupreme11]

Ok but like now I'm obsess with Cu Chulainn in pjo, like I imagine him being somehow transported to the pjo world like Percy, apearing in the human world and ending up meeting Percy before the lighting thief (which means she's younger than twelve so a bit 👨‍✈️) and staying with her because he can sense she is a demigod so the only lead he has to the divine world, of course they would both hate it because "you're disgusting" "who the fuck even are you" somehow, it still works and he inserts himself into the story falling for Percy and being bro-zoned by her. The gods of course don't care, they are not racist, they don't give a crap about any demigod in equal measure, and so after Gaia, he finally finds a way back into the ror verse and drags Percy kicking and screaming to his suposed happy ending.

Only for the other yanderes to become yanderes

this is gonna be cu chulainn 90% of the time when he's babysitting and falling in love with percy:

he's so fed up with her danger-prone ass like "bitch STAY STILL FOR ONCE!!!! STOP FUCKING SNEAKING OUT OF CAMP AND GETTING SUCKED INTO DANGEROUS QUESTS! NO YOU WILL NOT BE THE CHILD OF THE PROPHECY IM GETTING OUR ASSES OUT HERE FUCK THIS STUPID UNIVERSE"

but whoops, she's the child of the great prophecy and get this, THERE'S ANOTHER GREAT PROPHECY LMAOOOOO

cu chulainn after finding out there's another great prophecy centered around percy's stupid ass and he has to go through this AGAIN:

i also can't stop thinking about him being brother-zoned, i feel like he would actually lose his fucking shit if that ever happened. like imagine being transferred to another universe with shitty ass gods and weird stupid rules that everyone has to follow (and he's considered an outer god so we all know he HATES rules), babysitting this adorably feral demigod child, living with her, being raised alongside her, falling in love with her and constantly having to protect her because EVERYONE WANTS HER DEAD, and then after all that........

she brother-zones you 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

like you can't even blame percy because she grew up with this guy so OF COURSE she sees him as a big bro, BUT LMAOOOOOO SUCKS FOR CU CHULAINN WHAT A LEWSER 😂 he's just getting Ls after Ls in this universe 😂 i'm surprised he hasn't ripped his hair out at this point 😂😂😂

AND THEN.... he finally finds a way back to his og universe and drags the love of his life kicking and screaming through the bifrost. he's back home, percy's with him, and all is well but BAM six other yanders fall in love with her AND HE'S STILL BEING BROTHER-ZONED 💀💀💀💀💀

(and imagine she's still pining after anthonius too, i bet you he DEFINITELY interrupted the underwater kiss scene after the war 😭 probably just fished her outta the lake and just went "nope not happening" 😭😭😭)

[indicafaeries]

morning sesh

ryan dunn x gn!reader

warnings: uhhh like weed smoking, swearing, all that good stuff

going camping w/ the gang and having a lil morning sesh with your boyfie

fluff

a/n: hi this is my first time writing fanfic in ages so please leave me some feedback, i hope that you all like it!! i do apologise if it’s bad or short, i write this in a manic episode while high😭😭

you stretch feeling your boyfriend sit up in your shared sleeping bag, the the warm orange hues of the sunrise permeating into the tent. “sorry babe i didn’t mean to wake you” ryan says, his voice rough having only woken up a few moments ago, leaning over to kiss your cheek. “i was planning to have a little early morning sesh, if you’re awake enough to join that is” he smiles looking down at you chuckling as you sit up hearing the word sesh.

“i’m awake enough” you mumble tiredly, leaning on him. he wraps an arm around you pulling you into him, smelling the soft scent of his shampoo and the forrest outside.

Ryan already had a mix going to your surprise, all he was missing was rolling paper, he rummaged through his bag searching for it. you reached into your pillowcase pulling out a pack of rolling paper covered in heart designs, Ryan looked over at you curiously “they got hearts on them” he smiled laughing at the little design as he snatched them from you. “hey they’re cute” you say defensively, crossing your arms only causing him to laugh more. “calm down, i like em, i too think they’re cute” he said with a smile and he started rolling joints “put on some music but don’t be too loud, i don’t want bam or dico or someone to wake up cause i’ll have to roll more” he added quietly as he watched you pull out your little ipod.

you scroll through some songs before settling on when you were young by the killers, turning it down a little. ryan grinned enjoying your song choice as he hands you a joint, lighting his own. as you reach for the lighter he laughs pulling away from you “ryan” you begin protesting frustratedly but before you can react properly he puts his lit joint to yours as it sits in between your lips, then taking a drag of his own, “yes y/n?” he says with that shit eating grin he always has on his face, “nothing” you say looking back down smiling, your cheeks going a soft pink colour. ryan chuckles as you both sit here, his arm around you as you both smoke your joints, enjoying the music.

“you wanna know something y/n?” ryan smiles softly, the weed starting to take its effect on you both, “what’s that ry?” you murmur looking up at him “you’re so beautiful and i love you so much” he says smiling sweetly still, holding his joint between his fingers as he brushes hair behind your ear. “i love you so much too” you say leaning into his touch as he inhales some of his joint, leaning down to kiss you and blow the smoke into your mouth. you realised everything right now in this moment was perfect, you loved your boyfriend more than anything and he reciprocated that.

suddenly half the tent collapses in, two loud laughs echoing into the tent as you and ryan hear bam speak in a sing song voice while breaking into your tent with dico behind him “you forgot us you bitches.”

[grimoireofhayley]

Of Friends and Horror

Stu Macher x Fem!Reader x Billy Loomis

WARNINGS: Graphic content, Smut (MINORS DNI), Language, Talks of SA, Cheating, Obsessiveness, Gore, 18+ Content, Stalking, Possessiveness, Dirty talk, Religion talk, Suppressed Mental Health problems (I.e., reader has some issues that she isn't aware of)

Word Count: 1.2k

Taglist: @ev3ningrain @nerdytif @fanfic-enjoyer123 @darkenwolfie @juda-the-simp  @colsons-baker @junnniiieee07  @ok-boke @ren-ni @katie-tibo @bruce-yamada @kenma-izhu @cookielovesbook-akie @elevenpurple

A/n: I hope this chapter was just as good as the others, I feel like it was somewhat sloppily done, but I'm not too sure, I'm just so freaking hot in my room, I am sweating bullets and can't think, lmao.

All chapter links!!! 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

OF&H Masterlist

Chapter 13

You were sprawled about on Tatum’s spare bed she had in her room, whereas Sidney was tummy-first on her inflatable, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. 

“God, I loved it.” Tatum giggled, pulling her blonde hair into a tight ponytail, whilst looking at you, her eyes filled with admiration. “I’ll send you a copy… BAM!” She punched a stuffed bunny that was next to her before picking it up, flinging it all over the place in excitement, “Bitch went down.” She laughed, “The insults had to be my favourite part, though.” She gleamed, tossing the stuffy elsewhere. 

You rolled your eyes at her exaggeration, “Tatum, it wasn’t a movie, there shouldn’t be any favourite parts. I punched a person, let alone insulted her outside a police station…”. You sat up from the bed, sitting criss-crossed, propping your arm up on your thigh and resting your chin in the palm of your hand. “I could have been arrested!” You chortled, snorting in the process.

Tatum completely ignored that possibility, her exhilaration being her only muse. 

“I’ll send you a copy—BAM! (Y/n), superbitch.” Tatum repeated and in her best you voice she said, “Now, if I were you, I would put that book on hold and shut the fuck up for once.” She placed her hand on her hip, contorting her face into that of someone who was extremely confident. 

Your lips formed a thin line, shocked at how she managed to recall the event word-for-word. “I’m actually surprised you were able to remember all that, was it really that impressive?” You quirked a brow, tilting your head, ignoring the sudden pain in your hand. 

 “Uh, yeah.” She tsk-ed, “I’m certain you’ll be the talk of the school tomorrow.” She giggled. “You’re so cool.” She beamed, batting her lashes. 

“I thought you might want some ice for that right hook.” Dewey suddenly appeared in the doorway, tossing you an ice pack.

You caught it with your sore hand, wincing slightly, regretting your instinct to catch it with your dominant one.

“Thanks, Dewey..” You warmly smiled up at him, placing the pack on your knuckles and instant relief was felt. 

You laid back down, your head hitting the pillow.

“I’ll be right next door. Try to get some sleep, girls.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Tatum groaned, waving her hand at her older brother, motioning him to leave. 

You turned on your side, looking at Sidney and a ping of guilt washed over you, yet again that night. 

She was distraught, and she looked uncomfortable, most likely because of the argument you both shared with each other earlier at school, and how you gave her the cold shoulder at the Police Station, silently scolding her for the ridiculousness of believing that her own boyfriend would try to kill her. 

You frowned, a wave of gloominess lingering in the air as you let the ice pack fall to the ground. 

“Sidney?” You whisper, trying to get her attention. 

She shuffles, not wanting to talk, but she soon groans, turning to face you.

“Yeah?” She questions.

“I’m sorry.” You pout, rubbing at your orbs. “I shouldn’t have said those things at school, and I shouldn’t have scolded you at the police station.” You mumbled, “You’re a person; you have feelings and those feelings are valid and they always will be.” You finished.

Sidney’s eyes grew, not sure how to process everything, but she soon smiled, and for once, she didn’t feel like you were the bad guy and that everything will be okay. 

“It’s fine, (Y/n). Apology accepted…” She trailed, “Though, you were right, I had no business to go through your journal and call you names when my mother was something else…” She gulped, “I don’t know what got over me… and I am truly sorry.” She twiddles with her thumbs, looking at you with hopeful hues, as if she was begging for your forgiveness, and in ways, she was. Afterall, you did punch a woman for both her sake and yours. 

Tatum cheered, glad that her two best friends made up. “Jeez, I’m thankful you both apologized to one another because I was starting to get bummed out in my own home.” She laughs. “On a more serious note…” Tatum changes the subject, her curiosity getting the better of her. “Do you really think Billy did it?” 

Sidney’s smile soon faded, “He was there, Tatum..” Her voice trembled.

Tatum rolled her eyes, “He was destined to have a flaw, I knew he was too perfect.” She whined. 

Knock… Knock…Knock…

Rapid knocking at Tatum’s bedroom door was heard and this caught everyone's attention.

Tatum looked at the door, seeing it open, revealing her mother, Mrs. Riley, “Telephone, honey.” 

“Who is it?” The blonde asks. 

“It’s for Sid…” 

“Is it my dad?” Sidney popped up from off the floor, looking over yours and Tatum’s bed.

“I don’t think so.” 

“Take a message?” You chirped in.

“No, um, I’ll get it.” Sidney looks at you and Tatum, indicating for the both of you to follow her.

“Gotcha..” You mouthed at her, grabbing ahold of Tatum’s hand, forcing her to get up and follow you towards Sidney and the three of you went out the door.

--

Sidney placed the phone up against her ear, her nerves screaming to be let out, “H-Hello?” She stutters.

“Hello, Sidney.” The killer spoke.

“NO, NO!” She yells, gripping the sides of her head. 

You and Tatum rushed to her side, holding her, keeping her from freaking out anymore. 

“Poor Billy-boyfriend.” 

Sidney quickly placed the phone down, clicking the speaker button, so everyone could hear. 

“An innocent guy doesn’t stand a chance with you.”

“Leave me alone!” She yells, starting to hyperventilate. 

“DEWEY!” Mrs. Riley rushes off to get her son. 

“Looks like you fingered the wrong guy…Again.”

“Who are you?” 

“Hang up, Sid.” Tatum ushers her friend as you rubbed her arm, trying to support her. 

“Don’t worry, Sidney. You’ll find out soon enough. I promise.” The killer gloats, taking a heavy-breath. “Oh, and (Y/n), Sweetheart, I hope you found the gift a real heart stopper~”

<- Previous Next ->

[thatdeadaquarius]

I have recently come to the conclusion that if my Genshin Impact account was self aware, my Bennet would be slightly even more unlucky than a regular Bennet. This is due to my birthday and since its coming up I've been brainrotting for the past few days. Let me explain:

Bennet's birthday is February 29th, aka Leap Year. This means Benny only has a real birthday once every four years, which is bad enough. But according to canonical game lore, when he doesn't have his actual birthday, he celebrates it on the 28th.

My birthday is February 28th.

Now, I'd like to think that in your typical SAGAU the creator's birthday is a BIG DEAL. I'm talking festivals, parades, feasts, gifts exchanged between friends and family as well as gifts offered to the creator! The whole nine yards! An entire world partying from sunrise to moonset.

So with this in mind, Bennet's birthday would either be celebrated the day after the biggest holiday party in Teyvat (meaning everyone who attends would be all partied out) or during my birthday (meaning that everyone would be focused on ME instead of Bennet, which is just unfair! He can't even take pride in being born the same day as the creator b/c he was born the day after!!!!).

Anyway, if I was isekai'd to Genshin and worshipped as a god, I would simply give Bennet his own holiday. Poor kiddo deserves a win and if it takes me telling my acolytes quote, "Everyone will to celebrate Bennet's holiday. No exceptions, no excuses. And if his holiday party doesn't end up a success, I will destroy all of Teyvat and then myself. :3c" then so be it. That last statement is a joke, but watching everyone try their absolute hardest to give my adopted little brother the best birthday possible would be worth the fear of the vague threat of the world's destruction in the eyes of my worshipers me thinks.

If you add to this brainrot, please feel free to ignore that last part if everyone panicking over the possibility of apocalyptic destruction makes you uncomfortable. Likewise, don't rush this out by my birthday if you don't have time. I'm also in college and have multiple assignments due both before and after my birthday so I know this upcoming week will be hellish in terms of academics. So don't push yourself, okay?

So yeah. Thanks for reading! Hope you have a nice day!

JOKES ON YOU IM DOIN THIS FIRST BC ITS NEAR UR BIRTH WHEN I SAW THIS - HAHAHA (also timezones r wack so hope i timed it good enough for u lmao)

HOPE ALL UR ASSIGNMENTS VANISH / R SUPER EASY AND TAKE NO TIME AT ALL TO DO SO U HAVE MORE FREE TIME TO READ MY BIRTHDAY GIFT TO YOU ANON <3

Have a pretty miku hatsune gif <3

YEAH SO U ENTERED UR BDAY INTO GENSHIN U KNOW THAT RIGHT??

WELL SINCE THAT WAS THE BASICS OF THE GAME/AT THE START-

TEYVAT HAS KNOWN YOUR BIRTHDAY AS LONG AS LIFE HAS LIVED ON TEYVET LOL

◇

So if it's your birthday and you have been isekaied to Teyvat in time for it,

or been there for that long bc how does one un-isekai themselves?? anyway

and its like,, pandemonium.

bc idealistically u surprise these bitches around/close to ur birthday, so everyone's gettin in that festival mood and then BAM- itd be like if the spirits/demons showed up irl for Halloween randomly one year, like- ???!!!

so everyone's just

"well we usually have a lot of fun/praise the highest being anyway, hoping they'll hear us thru whatever barrier's between us (coughstupidcomputercough), but now... we've got to go harder than any century before guys, they're actually here, nobody panic, this isn't a drill- somebody fucking grab the champagne- "

◇

So for a second, imagine the sweetest anyone has ever been to you.

now imagine another person does something just as sweet for you, now add another, now add another, now add-

yeah i hope u got a hoddie so u can go to sweatertown when u get too embarassed/shy, bc the compliments??

"I really like your voice btw, this may sound strange but it was always so comforting pulling those all nighter for another akademiya project, and just hearing you joking around or humming, what felt like only for me or to keep me company ;) " - Lisa

"I hope you don't mind me doing this, as I wasn't trying to invade you privacy when I came upon this knowledge, but I thought it would make a useful gift. I know you were frustrated when you came here that there wasn't as much cosmetics so I used alchemy to aid your cause, this is some color changing nail polish-"

-Albedo has gotten u ur exact foundation shade, concealer, a skin clearing serum that works 100x better than any skincare routine u had going/or not lol, and if you dont really wear makeup or do skin care, he has a backup of all ur fav perfumes/colognes that u wish u had in ur old world (he heard u ranting abt wanting those scents/stuff u liked like cherries or sandalwood etc.)

◇

bc even if ur not the type to feel that way when ppl do things like that for u, i promise u will be by the end of your birthday week.

everyone in teyvat wants your first in person birthday to be perfect,

ESPECIALLY the allogenes, or the playable characters

doesn't even matter if your FTP and dont have a single character outside of the beginners,

(they all had access to things like your voice, your actions, your social media, yae miko may or may not have personally printed off enough copies of a book full of any selfies/pics with you in it to reach every corner of teyvat ahem, she means what- nothing at all my beautiful god-)

anyway that is to say, your birthday month is generally really bountiful, both in festivals and teyvat itself, regardless if its dead winter or scorching summer

◇

but for the sake of ANON'S BIRTHDAY-

You have now been forcibly converted into a Pisces - gasp - from this moment on,

ik tragic im an aquarius 😔,

Bc this is anon's Teyvat rn and we're just living in it

(genshincharactersaboutyoubelike-)

◇

You don't know which authority figure to thank first for helping organize your week so you can go to a different city's festival for you every day of your bday week, it must have been hell to make 💀

(rip ningguang alhaitham jean and ayaka/ayato yall will be missed 💧��)

U kind of worked ur way backwards actually from game release country's dates, like Sumeru, Inazuma, Liyue, Mondstadt

Bc when they asked if u had a preference u whole heartedly spoke up in front of a room full of arguably the most influential and powerful people on the continent, in the world really- well besides you-

"Mondstadt would be a great festival to have on my actual birthday! After all one of my best boys Bennett, also has his birthday that day too!" :)

...

.....somewhere in the Wolvendom wilds Bennett shivers with a bolt of anxiety,

Razor is confused and asks if he's ok, he gives a shaky thumbs up,

"yeah i just... got the scariest feeling.. like something bad's gonna happen on my birthday this week... haha probably nothing!... probably..."

◇

So everyone's been pretty chill and happy for Benny to be so favored/spoiled by you, esp since ur sharing ur bday (most ppl think ur a saint bc of this)

But for some pretentious assholes, who think traditions should be adhered to, they kinda dont even like the stuff ur changing-

"Oh well, if you don't just celebrate Benett's birthday with mine, and really anyone else who's bday is also mine, I'll just ruin your country ;) "

...

Some ppl get ur joking, like alhaitham would never believe u,

But these poor old fools, coughsagescough,

R just like-

"...an eldritch god is angry with us."

Needless to say u get ur way,

And poor Benny is just like, shaking in the corner, he can't tell if this is more unlucky or the luckiest he's been lol

(He's also one of the allogenes who did not rlly get ur joke lmao,,, also Itto💀)

◇

If your somehow not overhwhlemed by gifts and acts of service on ur birthday,

Benny is.

Benny is for you.

Lol, he's like gonna make himself sick bc he cant just say "No thanks" to all the ppl giving you food, but end up giving him some too by proxy

He cant even count how many candies and baked goods are weighing down his pockets

Oh did i mention you've just like, linked arms with the little guy and dragged him wherever Mond's citizens r dragging you for the birthday festivities :)

◇

While he was mostly just in shock all day, Benny does take the time to tear up and thank you for sharing your birthday*

(*both of your birthdays, u correct him all day)

Jean, Barabra, Diluc, Kaeya, Amber, Traveler, Razor Sucrose Fischl and Klee (and Varka + older adventurers/his dads)

are all super happy to finally see the poor kid get the biggest break ever for his birthday finally

Esp after they saw the last few... yknow... non-existant ones... bc he only has a bday every 4 years lol

◇

Nearly starts sobbing publicly when u give him a present for his bday too :')

And after you all do a big toast for an evening bday dinner, u hug him and he actually cries a little, and he squeezes u back super hard

"I always thought I was too unlucky to get a birthday like this, but I guess if even a god like you hasn't given up on me, I shouldn't give up on me either, thank you for the best birthday I've ever had Your Majesty!"

:')

♡

(Tho Klee did sneakily give u and him some of her best and brightest bombs as a bday gift, so he did get a little singed but he barely noticed lmao)

♡

I hope my ass writing/ideas was a decent bday gift anon! :0

I love Pisces sm, i hope ur bday was/will be incredible anon!! :) <33

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[candywife333]

Kidnapped......By Choice

And I am back guys. Sorry for the super long hiatus. Will finish Moo Moo part 2 right after I release this small drabble/one shot hybrid (going to call them DRAB-ONE from now on😆)

pairing: Kidnapper Jungkook x chubby oblivious , super nonchalant Y/N

4th DAY OF CHRISTMAS

(DRAB-ONE)

Trigger: mention of trafficking

As usual, little to no proofreading

Could a girl never get some peace and quiet in this freaking world? I shifted from side to side, attempting to catch sleep but the raucous noise of the dinner party beneath my room prevented me from even drifting off.

As I felt myself slowly succumb into the warm embrace of a peaceful slumber, I heard the sudden thud of my window swing open. BAM! BAM!

WTF?!!! THIS BITCH WAS GOING TO GET IT NOW??!!! WHO THE FUCK WAS OUT TO MAKE ME A SLEEPLESS , STRESS RIDDEN LITTLE TROLL?!!!

That's when I saw him standing against the window, almost a silent specter. Well built thick thighs encased in black leather , check. White ski mask barely showing a peek of pink luscious lips, check. Strong shoulders and arms outlined by a dark leather jacket tapering down to reveal an itty, bitty tiny waist, check.

As I literally gobbled his form up with my eyes, the man sauntered over, as a fluid as a panther towards me. "Hey, hey, dude. Stay right there man. I'm a nervous farter. I wouldn't want to fart on you and make you suffer from inhaling the noxious fumes that come out of my ass".

He quirked one of his eyebrows up seemingly trying to hold laughter in, as he rumbled out in a deep masculine voice that made my panties suspiciously moist, "That is seriously all you have to say to an intruder who has come into your bedroom at night? You are warning him that you might fart? That is your threat"?

I put one hand on my head, growling out in impatience, "Look bro, I wouldn't be warning you if it actually wasn't a weapon of mass destruction. You picked the wrong one tonight. I could ruin your sense of smell so bad that you would think a jar of pickles smell like petunias. Don't test the power of the FLATULENCE. OK"?

I slapped my ass vehemently to prove a point......and also assert dominance. Who the hell did this handsome, drool-worthy dude bro think he was, walking in on me in a ripped stained crop top and sleep shorts that had been swallowed by my ass from behind? I had never been so indecently clothed in the presence of a man. And worst of all, a stranger at that.

However, none of this bravado stopped him in his path as he stood right in front of me. His dark eyes glinted like two twinkling stars in the night sky. "Look little lady, it is better if you cooperate. You are right now being kidnapped, why don't you actually show preservation skills and some healthy dose of fear"?

I snorted, clearly making him surprised as he glared at me in confusion, "There ain't anything small about me man. Everything is large or extra large. Not a small bone in my body since I was 10 years old. Now, why don't you move out of my way before I sit on you and suffocate you with my fat cells and bad odor".

Mirth filtered through his eyes as he seemed to be holding back a laugh. Before I could blink, he restrained my arms behind me. As usual my weak arm strength (can't even do a push up) made me as moldable as jello. He tied my wrists with rope and shoved me onto the bed.

I felt super annoyed. First of all, I wasn't getting sleep. Number two, I wasn't even that pretty enough for him to kidnap and sell into any human trafficking. The trafficker would take one look at me, spit in my chubby face, and shove me back where I came from. That would be the first time, they would want a refund. Well everything has a first I guess.

Before I could sit up on the bed and catch my bearings, he had taken off his mask. My jaw fell open and I swear I started drooling. Jungkook? The hot high school senior that I had been mooning over for close to three years? Why was he trying to kidnap me? Wait......why was I resisting? This was a dream come true.

My mood completely switched as I had a grin on my face, brimming with happiness, "Hey, Jungkook-ssi , why don't you kidnap me a little faster and harder...if you catch my drift"?

He looked bewildered as his piercings shined in the dim light, "You..you aren't scared of what is going on right now"?

I kicked my chubby feet into the air in excitement, cheeks blushing, "I have always wanted to be abducted by you, so I don't mind. So, where are you taking me .....and what depraved activities do you have in mind. Would you mind taking me away for a month, at least till math finals are over"? I winked at him, entreating him to give me an answer.

He stood there, paralyzed in shock as he gritted out, teeth clenched, "This was just supposed to be a prank, your brother dared me to do it for 500 bucks". Tears slipped down my face, lips pouting. "What do you mean Jungkook-ssi? Do you mean that you were never supposed to rail me roughly into oblivion? This was all a set-up"?

Not able to deal with my fake crying, he started trying to reassure me, "No Y/N, it was just a light hearted prank, and I needed the money. Please don't misunderstand, I never meant to harm you. I was just supposed to get you scared enough and have the drone camera outside the window record it".

I peered out the window and saw the drone. My expression fell flat, and I felt glum...disappointed at the outcome. I wanted to be roughly porked like in those dark romance novel books with the mafia leaders who were kidnappers. Well, a girl can have here fantasies I guess, but maybe they were never meant to be.

I sullenly sighed, "Ok then Jungkook-ssi. Now that you got the reaction, why don't you leave? I am tired and sleepy. If you don't do it, it is ok. I will just find someone else to do it".

He seemed relieved, till he heard the last line of what I said. His eyes became frantic, smoldering with anger and lips in a hard straight line as he spit out, "What do you mean someone else"?

I yawned, settling back under the covers, rubbing my eyes, "Are you slow or something Jungkook-ssi. I thought my noncon kidnapping kink would be satisfied today and I could knock it off my checklist. But I guess I just have to find someone to pound me from behind, in a ski mask propped onto a window-sill. It just won't be you. Perhaps....Hoseok-ssi, he did grin my way last week in dance club. Maybe he would be interested".

As my eyes closed slowly, head sinking onto the pillow below I felt a weight dip onto the bed and my wrist pinned onto either side of the bed. I opened my eyes suddenly, to be met with Jungkook's feral grin right above me. I tried batting him away, irritated. What did he want now? His big veiny hands grabbed me by my wrists as his hot breath ghosted my neck. He panted with exertion as he continued in a lethal tone, "I will kill any man who dares touch you. Don't test me sweetheart. I am the only one who gets to have you against a window-sill".

I snorted, amused at his antics. He hadn't looked my way in the past 3 years that I had devotedly followed him around campus. And now suddenly after a stupid bet, he was possessive over me. Nonsense. Balderdash. I turned around on my side, pushing my bed covers higher on my body. This tomfoolery at 12 am was not what I wanted to hear. I drawled out groggily, "Like you would be attracted to my sagging granny panty clad ass. Just go back man. Had enough of lies for today".

Suddenly, I felt cold air abruptly filter onto my pussy and butt. Startled, I looked up to see my damp panties in his vascular hands. Smirking deviously as he rubbed my clit slowly with his calloused finger, spreading the moisture around, making me mewl and clutch at his coat, he whispered against my neck, "What made you think that granny panties would stop me sweetheart"?

[rottenpumpkin13]

Everyone saying Zack will come in and save Aerith but just imagine:

The scene is set, Sephiroth is descending, Cloud panics, feathers are falling, Aerith is ready, it’s so over and then BAM!

GENESIS DRAMATICALLY SWOOPS IN LAST MINUTE, FABULOUS AS EVER, HERO OF THE DAWN, HEALER OF WORLDS,

HE FIGHTS SEPHIROTH OFF AND JUST SAYS

“Surprise bitch. Bet you thought you’d seen the last of me!”

I WISH T—T

To be honest that's not too far off from what I think could happen. If the timelines are bound to merge at some point, it could very well be at a pivotal moment in the story, like Aerith's death.

Plus that scene in the new trailer where Marlene is telling Zack that "a scary man" is going to kill her when she wakes up is a huge indication that Zack is going to find out about the original timeline (And Sephiroth) and one will have some influence offer the other :[

Also, I'm a believer that Genesis will appear in some way. Everything is lining up for him to appear, whether that's through mentions, flashbacks, or—fingers crossed—a full appearance where he hopefully is able to team up with Zack and comatose Cloud and help them (a girl can dream).

I don't think Aerith is going to live though :[ The arbiters of fate are there for that reason. Unless it's a case of "a life for a life" and the person who saves her ends up sacrificing themselves in order to maintain the balance.

Then let's call this a crack theory and say that is the case.....that scene of yours is a little haunting isn't it? Minerva didn't let Genesis die because he hadn't fulfilled his duty as a SOLDIER, then what happens when he does?

I'm not going to say that I genuinely think Genesis is going to sacrifice himself to save Aerith in specific (mainly because I still don't think Aerith will live) but him sacrificing himself in general doesn't sound too crazy. After all this is the final act of Loveless:

Even if the morrow is barren of promises;

Nothing shall forestall my return;

To become the dew that quenches the land;

To spare the sands, the seas, the skies;

I offer thee this silent sacrifice.

[washa]

I listened to The Summit audio and here’s my favourite personal comments/thoughts! (IM STILL IN SHOCK WHAT TEH FUCK)

HELP OF COURSE ASHER LOST A FUCKING SHOE 

David’s gonna whip your ass Ash 

WHY ARE WE ROASTING ASHER SO BAD

Milo being a fashionista cannon

“Good thing belts don't correlate to height.” DAVID

Ash, Baabe, get a fucking room 

Sweetheart i’m crying please give a man some dress socks

---------------------

Vincent sounds so anxious

AWH NO WILL COME ON MAN NOT THE ASSISTANT 

Vincent baby… 😕

“I can't control how people are acting but I can control how I react.” PREACHHH VINCENT 

Mhm run past me. OOH MUSIC FUCK YES, THE DRACULA MUSIC I LOVE IT 🙏

Surprise??? He’s spoiling Lovely so bad

I'M SCARED IS IT GONNA JUMP AT ME LIKE THOSE PLASTIC SPIDERS

A CROWN?? NO NO NO THAT’S SO FUCKING SWEET 

THE SAME CRAFTSMAN AND EVERYTHING I CANNOT DO THIS😭

Wait, does Sam have a crown too?? Like being a duke

HE CALLED US BABY I CANNOT 

-----------------------

Shit these sound effects are FIRE

Yo Sam wassup my guy.

Oh Porter. Hi dear ☹️

Sam is literally the opposite of me I love small talk and big events lmfao 

“Good people” He’s so salty lmfao

There’s no way Darlin’ isn’t smoking hot rn

AY ICE CREAM TUBS, Mint chocolate chip for the win 🙌

I imagine them going hand in hand, like elbows connected.

--------------------------

Porter being a smooth bitch. (as usual)

Vincent is surprisingly kind abt this, well as nice as he can

IS TREASURE NOT HERE?? DID PORTER GASLIGHT ALL OF US.. 😰

That went well. Lovely calm your boyfriend before he pulls out his hair

Nah let like Sam punch him it’s funnier.

Are these other vamps that bad oh my god 

Ooh business deals?? Yes make that moolah.

Eccentric?? Tf you mean eccentric. I don’t think David can handle more eccentric people in his life.

HELP NOT ASH PICKING UP ON VINCENT (unrelated but can we just acknowledge how emotionally mature and smart Asher is?)

WHAT DID ASH DO?? TEAR DOWN A WALL???

Oh god Bennetts?? They sound pleasant.

Wait wait, House of Baz were allies, and but every word out of Deon's mouth was to diss William??? WHAT TYPE OF SHITTY ALLIES

I want those two to die, for all of their house to run into the sun. 

-----------------------

ALEXIS HOLY SHIT AH

Latest conquest?? Come here let me rip you up 

JESUS WHAT THE FUCK ALEXIS?? SORRY I'M NOT IMMORTAL GOD DAMN.

I don’t wanna fight you lex. YOU GROW UP?? PETTINESS IS CHILDISH.

You selfish little bitch. I’M GONNA BITE HER URGHSHSHGY

Porter thank FUCK YOU'RE HERE

YES YES YES PORTER OH MY GOD GO PORTER, Thank you Porter 😭

Alexis can suck my dick. 

“Like a proper family” That's an interesting view on what your idea of a loving family is Porter.

Sammy BOY??? HELP IM CACKLING

Surprisingly Porter is in the right here. 

WOAH SHOWDOWN SHOWDOWN WOO 

WAS PORTER JUST LEFT THERE

-----------------------

Oh god what fucking now, i cannot DEAL with anymore self centred fuckers.

Is he warning us? What’s happening.

OH MY GOD ADAM I FORGOT ABT HIM. 

Ykw he’s got a point here, a REALLY good point. CONSIDERING THE HOUSE OF BAZ THING.

ALEXIS SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE IN YOUR WRINKLED SQUEZZED GRAPE ASS LIFE

Sam :((( yes Sam you deserve that.

-----------------------

Asher and Milo bring up the mood woop woop 

HOLY SHIT JUMPSCARE

Good lord Porter has a bad rep already w them

Investor gadget woop woop, investor gadget bam bam bam bam go gadget go bup bam bam bam badum badump.

?? CLOSEKNIT?? GOD DAMMIT FUCK CAN WE GO ONE VIDEO WITHOUT REFERENCING THEM

Milo clamp your jaw for a sec

OH MY GOD THE BENNETTS SUPPLIED CLOSEKNIT??

PORTER YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD THANK YOOU FOR THE LORE DROP. 

Wait wait we’re doing it now? OH GOD WE’RE GONNA INVESTIGATE NOW AT THE SUMMIT.

Sam said a lot of things..

WAIT NO ONE ELSE BUT DAVID KNOWS WHAT MILO DID?? Even after 2 years??

No Sweetheart think abt this please what if ya get caught.

GO BETA GO BETA FUCK IT UP WOOAHH (i’m sorry i'm so stressed.)

-----------------------

You should’ve punched her Sam, you should’ve.

Sam and Darlin’ needed better taste in vamps ffs 

Sam therapy time 😇🥳 (as required in every Sam video)

YES SAM STAND UP FOR YOURSELF 

God Sam and Darlin’ are so fucking sweet URGDHAKDA

-----------------------

Is Angel stuck talking there or??

Imagine talking to someone for like 15 minutes and come back to find your friends stalking a head of the house. David needs a panadol for the headache coming up.

-----------------------

OOH ARE WE EAVESDROPPING.

Well nobody wants to join a cult tbh, like that’s so suspicious.

This is a surprisingly civil argument, i was expecting someone getting thrown through a wall

UH OH WE ALMOST GOT CAUGHT??

-----------------------

WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

What’s up w the king

HUH HE’S DEAD????? WHEN I SAID I WANTED HIM DEAD I DIDN'T MEAN ACTUALLY DEAD.

TAH’S IT TAHT ITS WAHTD THE FUCK? DID SWEETHEART KILL HIM? DID CHRIS DO IT HOW DID ALEXIS KNOW, IS THAT WHY PORTER PICKED A FIGHT??? TO CREATE A DISTRACTION?? 

So no ice cream?? 💔

[saccharine-dean]

I've been having ATSV brainrot (particularly Gwen-centric) as of late so hear me out: Spider-Man x SPN

16-year old, junior-in-high-school sam winchester as spider-man.

his mother died when he was a baby, and his father only very recently. he lives alone with dean, who got custody of him after their father's death. even though this only happened a couple years ago, really, dean has been raising sam all their lives.

sam likes home fine enough. dean isn't too bad as a parent for a 20-year old- he has a job at the local garage, makes sure sam is fed, and for the most part he doesn't act like dad.

it's just that he can be a bit overprotective. sam gets it, but it's frustrating.. and it's the reason he refuses to tell dean about his secret identity. but it's okay- dean, for his part, is ironically a pretty big fan of spider-man. sam knows he tries to hide it, but it's obvious- dean thinks the mystery vigilante in their city is cool.

that is, until one day:

sam is way, way in over his head with this one. unaware of the existence of the multiverse (though he has theories) and being the only superhero in his town, he has nobody to call for backup. the villain nearly lands a fatal blow on him way too many times for comfort, and he's losing stamina fast. a crowd of people has gathered to watch, all cheering him on from the sidelines.

enter castiel: dean's boyfriend of 2 years, a really stand up guy. he's a little awkward and sometimes he can be just as protective as dean is, but for what it's worth, sam loves him like a brother. it's just... he's also approaching the street where the fight is taking place. blissfully unaware, he holds a bouquet of flowers in his hands, walking the last couple blocks to surprise dean at work.

it all happens so fast: one minute sam is dodging another shot from the villain, the next the projectile is ricocheting off of a metal awning, and BAM- it hits castiel in the chest, and time seems to freeze.

sam screams.

he doesn't notice much of anybody else after that- the villain retreats once sam is crumpled on the ground next to castiel, or at least he thinks so. sirens blare all around him, ten times louder than they were before, and sam can't help himself from putting his head to castiel's chest and sobbing.

and then he hears the one voice he dreads the most at this moment:

"Cas?"

sam looks up, deer in the headlights, and sees his brother in what may very well be the worst shock of his life.

"No. No, Cas, no-"

dean shoves him out of the way and lifts castiel up in his arms, and as he's frantically swearing and checking for a pulse, sam does the only thing he can think of to do, and he disappears.

even though dean comes home past 3:00 that night, sam is still up, sobbing into his pillow. assuming he heard the news from the TV, dean wraps him in a fierce hug and mumbles comfort into his shoulder through his own tears, promising to sam that he'll catch the son of a bitch who let castiel die.

it's been maybe four months since then, and sam doesn't know how much more he can take of this.

dean's animosity towards spider-man is now one of the most transparent things about him. sam knows he shouldn't take it to heart, shouldn't believe that dean would think these things about him if he knew, but hell if he isn't tired of being called a monster, a coward, a freak.

there's another large scale fight downtown that nearly goes awry, but there's these new people that appeared from some kind of portal and for once he has *help,* some actual allies to save the day with him, and suddenly he feels much lighter, much easier. sam manages to save them at the last minute, and as he's standing there catching his breath he hears his brother's voice break the cold air:

"Found you, you eight-eyed bastard."

sam had been telling dean as himself for weeks not to stake out every crime scene in new york, that he could get himself hurt or worse, and every time dean gave the same answer- "so?"

and so now, standing there shaking from the adrenaline and the wind and the blood, it's not that sam is surprised necessarily- it's just... god, he is so, so, tired.

"Please," Sam begs him when he turns and sees the gun pointed at his head. "I- Whatever you think I did-"

"You're the reason the love of my life is dead," Dean hisses, and even after all this time, it still makes Sam freeze. "How about that, you son of a bitch?"

"It wasn't me!" Sam shouts, and his voice breaks at the inclination. "It was a mistake. I didn't... I didn't kill Castiel."

Dean freezes.

"What did you just say?"

and so four months after castiel's death, eighteen months after he became spider-man, sam finally does it- he reaches up and pulls off his mask.

it's done.

"Sam?"

dean's voice is broken beyond repair, and sam is sure he looks the same way.

"I didn't do it," he whispers.

but dean doesn't respond. he just stands, gun still raised and shaking between his fingers as he stares at sam with the look of utmost betrayal.

sam feels a phantom tap on his shoulder, looks up and sees the woman from earlier. he thinks he heard the older man call her missouri?

she raises an eyebrow and nods to the newly opened portal, and sam's eyes widen as he realizes she wants him to go with them.

he spares a glance back at dean, who immediately notices his thought process and makes to run at them, but the woman stops him in his tracks with some kind of trap. dean is screaming sam's name and banging against the barrier, yelling that he better not leave, or... well, who knows. sam doesn't hear it. all his focus is oriented on the glowing web of orange and red and green in front of him, offering a new beginning, a better life.

castiel once told him that growing up is hard- you're thrust into the world without any knowledge of who you are or what you're supposed to be, and that feeling of being utterly lost can be challenging, but not to worry- everybody finds their place eventually. deep down in the gaps between the turmoil pooling in his gut, sam thinks that maybe, just maybe, this might be it.

he turns his back to dean and jumps.

[smolwritingchick]

Ah ok! Update and Three Smol Previews for Bangtan Gal :)

Okay, good news, I am hoping to post the wrestling chapters tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest. It's almost done. Gonna let that be for a bit after I post and continue focusing on Bangtan Gal. A few chapters are boring imo but the later chapters have more drama.

Also, good news with Bangtan Gal, the second chapter I plan to post, MAMA Awards 2016 is done. I just need to reread and edit.

It's 18,000+ words. I...went overboard. I am so sorry. I don't know how to stop. I guess pace yourself?? I had a lot of ideas and it kept flowing. It's MAMA Award heavy and I was writing about people's reactions.

I have to split the MAMA Awards chapter into Part 1 (A big moment happens) and Part 2 (Jennie's response to Hyuna) because I can't fit all my words in one Tumblr post. (It's THAT bad lmfao this never happened to me before. I have a problem)

So I will link both parts of that chapter in the author's note and masterlist when it's uploaded. You'll also see the links at the end of the chapter to continue reading or to go back to read part 1 of that chapter.

All I need to do is work on is the chapter before. Which is The 3rd Muster chapter. It shouldn't take too long. Once that's done and edited, expect those two and a half chapters to be released together. Thanks for your patience! I hope the writing isn't too crazy with what I have planned.

I truly liked the ideas I came up with :)

Here's another smol preview for the MAMA Award chapter. Three Smol Scenes.

------

The day of the MAMA Awards was finally here. The day Jennie anticipated the most. She had a good feeling about this show and was excited to show off her hard work with what she had planned. The morning of the show, she decided to tweet one simple word along with an eyebrow raising hashtag.

'Bet. #GonBeAnInteresting24Hours #Jen' 

Jennie had been a trending topic on Naver and various K-Pop news outlets, which caused people to anticipate the MAMA Awards even more to see what might happen and if she may respond to Hyuna. Her silence on the matter had been a hot topic and now with her tweet going viral, fans stirred in a frenzy.

-------

With the show getting ready for the next segment, Jennie suddenly received a few packs of smarties from Jungkook.

"How'd you know I was about to ask?" she happily accepted them with surprise in her voice.

"I brought some with me just in case. I was paying attention to your facial expression. When you're about to ask for smarties or say that you wish you had them, you make this cute face. It's like you're pouting,"

"What? I was not pouting..." She turned away, feeling her face warm as he giggled.

"You just did it again,"

"Stop looking at me," she playfully pushed him away, making him laugh harder.

------

Suddenly, Hyuna had changed some of her lyrics, not looking Jennie's way as she danced.

Not a high and mighty girl scout in the club behind some fake bulletproof glass. How boring.

Some idols widened their eyes while others glanced over to where Jennie sat.

Yet another diss? This was getting out of control.

Bam Bam cringed and glanced at Jennie with worry, hoping she'd be all right. Hayoon frowned at the diss and shook her head slightly.

However, Jennie only smirked as she continued to watch, knowing that all eyes were on her to see how she'd react. Bangtan glanced at her and as she met their eyes, she gave them a nod. They nodded back and remained calm as they continued to watch the performance.

Suddenly a switch flipped in Jennie's demeanor as she rolled her neck and stared at Hyuna.

'This bitch got me fucked up...' she thought as she kept her cool.

Fans tweet:

'Not again!! Enough already!'

'Is she trying to provoke Jennie?'

'Don't be mad if Jennie catches her in an alley to stomp that ass!'

'The neck roll! I repeat! The neck roll! Jennie just did the neck roll! That is BAD! She got something planned! Get ready!'

'I don't like how she's acting. This is bullying at this point. Hyuna needs to chill,'

'Jen better than me because I would have ran on stage and popped her shit,'

'From the looks of it, Jennie is so bitter and jealous,'

'That smirk means business. I'm not ready,'

'I wish people would stop judging Jennie,'

'Jennie looks like she's plotting,'

'Why does she look so hot when she's upset?'

'Bangtan knows something that we don't because they don't look bothered at all,'

'Bangtan isn't even phased?! What is Jennie planning tonight?'

[galvanizedfriend]

surprising absolutely no one, second ask of the day!!

this isn't really a question tho, I just wanted to let you know that since I've read Speed Dating, it has been stuck in my mind 24/7.

I'm not kidding when I tell you that I think about it at least once a day (I'm sorry if I sound like a fanatic but I mean it in the best way possible).

it was/is such an easygoing three-shot, but yet it really left me the feeling of having watched a five seasons show! it's like you managed to perfectly compact a long rom-com series in just three chapters and 23k words! idk maybe I'm overreacting but I really want you to know how much of a great job you did, that fic bring me so much comfort I can't even explain it 😭😭

ALSO, I have a feeling there will be a CaroMille moment, and THAT will be the final wake-up call for Caroline. Probably Camille just getting dumped from Klaus and Care runs into her, telling her that she's sorry for them, and Camille would just shrug and be like "I had zero chance against you". So Caroline would look at quizzically because she's a girl's girl and she DOES NOT go after "taken" man, so she would ask Cami what she meant and Cami would look at her with arched eyebrows and say something like "don't tell me you haven't noticed he's in love with you?" AND THEN BAM. (yes, I know, it's creepy and weird that I thought this through a lot, but in my excuse, I had to do something during math class other than sleeping)

This is just the loveliest of messages, omg 🥹🥹

I tend to get messages about The Wolf a lot, and I obviously love all of them (all of your messages about TW and your Eve hadcanons as well!), but it warms my heart so much to know people are reading and enjoying my other fics as well. 🤧

Speed Dating was such an accidental fic, it was never meant to be any longer than that first chapter, but years later I had this crazy friends to lovers phase and I knew I had to keep going with that one.🥹 I love rom coms sm! it's so, so, so nice to know you enjoyed that one so much. ❤️❤️❤️

It's also a good reminder that I need to get back to it. 🥲 I'm so close to the finish line you wouldn't believe, but I have been living in canon-ish universe between TW and NOLA that it's sometimes hard to switch back to human AU. But I gotta do it, I need to finish that.

And honestly, that's not a bad idea at all 😂 Caroline really is a girl's girl. She can call them bitches and be mean AF whilst still standing up for the collective cause. It's not what's going to happen, but I really like the idea.

I had to go back and see where I left off on chapter 3 and I just realized that I posted way less than I thought I had. 😂 Wow, you guys don't know the half of it.

Seriously, thank you v much for this message. ❤️ I've been having a bit of a rough time and this week in particular was not easy, so this has been the nicest lil thing to read. ❤️ It's very kind and very sweet of you and I appreciate you sm! muah!

Here, have a cute Klausy gif as a token of my appreciation

[narrators-journal]

Persona 5 Haru x Male Reader request smut:

Kink: Face-sitting, asphyxiation, ass worship, sniffing, clothed.

Whenever Haru is around reader and often bends over when picking something up, the reader can't help but often stare at her fat ass that's Hidden under her fluffy shirt.

At first Haru, doesn't often notice that the reader is always and intentionally behind her. Then she slowly can't help but get a bit suspicious, until one day she gets close to a reflection and finally notices the reader staring at her ass.

Then some small teases happens, then one thing leads to another and bam!

Face-sitting happens as "punishment"

She and the reader still have clothes on while doing it cause it was a sudden surprise attack by her.

I wrote this far too late last night, when I got a creative burst. Is this good? Idk, I’m exhausted and delulu, I am not trustworthy. But, I tried to polish it up and edit it a bit, so we’re just gonna. Hope for this one.

CW: Clothed sex, ass worship, some light to moderate breathplay, boss x assistant dynamics, face sitting, and mayyyybe a bit of scent kink? Idk if I got the whole sniffing part down good, but I tried.

“You’re staring. Again.” Haru Okumara hummed, amusement laced into her soft voice like a playful dog weaving through a corn field. Which, caused your face to turn a healthy pink and your eyes to tear away from the way her short dress fell around the curve of her plump ass so teasingly while she was leaned forward to fill out the last bits of her day’s paperwork. “S-sorry, ma’am. I-I-um, I didn’t know.” You tried, but the lie only seemed to earn you a raised eyebrow shot over your boss’ shoulder. “Really? I know you space out, but let’s be honest here. We both know you’ve done this a few times, haven’t you?” She asked as she straightened, a smile on her soft, pink lips. “You can be honest, do you like my ass that much?~” The playful tone of the question was like a shameful arrow to your dick. So, you kept your eyes to the carpet of Haru’s office as you fidgeted and squirmed beneath her gaze, whether or not if you were taller than the small brunette.

The day had started off so normally. You’d come into work, you’d organized paperwork and sorted out the day’s most important things for Haru to sign, and you’d managed to catch her before she left for some summer meet-up with some old friends of hers. Things were going so smoothly! Of course I had to fuck it up and get caught! You thought while you and the woman stood in silence behind her desk. Her beautiful hazel eyes bore into you, as ruthless as they were sweet, and you could feel yourself crumble the longer you stood there. “Um...well…” You started, heat in your cheeks as you toyed with the bottom of your work shirt. “Don’t worry, your job won’t be at risk if you admit it.” She assured, “Uh, then yes ma’am. Your rear is...y’know.” You muttered, her giggle like a sweet bell in your ears, “Cute? Sexy? Tempting?~” She supplied, her voice’s sudden drop into a more flirtatious tone at the last word a bitch slap from left field that finally got you to look back at the woman. Is she into it?! Is my boss gonna fuck me for being a pervert?! You thought in a panic, unsure of if you should be scared from the stories you’d heard about Haru Okumura’s personality, or if you should’ve been excited to finally sleep with your boss.

However, before you could work through the conflicted mix of emotions that scenario dug up, Haru spoke again. “I find that very flattering, I assure you.” She said simply, turned to fully face you and lean back against her sturdy, paper-covered desk. “But, you are my employee, and I don’t really enjoy being ogled at work. So, I do think you’ll need to be punished to some extent.” Scared. You should’ve been more scared. Especially with how her autumnal eyes glittered with that same predatory glint that she got when she was close to breaking an ingredient vendor down to a discount. Except, now, that look was focused on you.

“M-ma’am, I am so sorry, really-” The brunette silenced you when she grabbed the collar of your button-up and yanked you towards her. Her voice seductive and low as she growled, “Either you take the punishment I give you, or I fire you for sexual harassment. Those are your options, sir.” “P-p-punishment, please.” You squeaked.

And, just like that, your boss let you go, and her smile was back on her glossed lips. “Good boy! Now, come over here, I know just how to teach you a lesson for ogling.” She chirped, before she pushed off of her desk to move over to a full body mirror she kept in her office.

Is this...this is surely a worse form of sexual harassment, right? I could sue her for this. You thought while you hesitated by her desk for a few more heartbeats. I just looked at her ass, she’s...she might beat the shit out of me...which would be kind of hot… Which, the more logical part of your brain realized was a dumb dick-thought, born from nowhere but the boner that strained against your waistband. But, it was a damn strong thought, so, you did follow your boss obediently. “Lie on your back in front of the mirror.” Haru ordered as she straightened her strawberry-patterned dress in the mirror. And, you did as you were told without a word of complaint. Which, got a hum of approval from the woman who wrote your checks before she moved so that her feet were on either side of your head and she could look down at you with a sugary smile, “I’m sure you don’t need any instructions on what to do next, right, you’re a smart man, right?” She asked, and you blinked, but managed, “Um...yes ma’am?” You said tentatively, which got Haru to smile wider before she lowered herself onto your face without much more fanfare. Her plush thighs and plump ass easily able to muffle your yelp and leave you unable to say a word. Even if you had tried, the vibrations of your voice would do little but give Haru a fun bolt of pleasure, so all you could do was stare up at Haru’s smile with wide eyes for a long moment.

Though, it didn’t take long for the first hint of sweet arousal to invade your nostrils with how close her cunt was to your face. Like a hypnotic fog, the fragrance broke down the last remnants of your common sense to make your cock twitch against your belly. And, she was right. You were a smart man.

And, while the weight of Haru’s body on your face was measured, it was crushing at the same time. Her pink panties all but suffocated you with the intoxicating scent of her arousal, the taste of slick already on your tongue when you mindlessly gave a tentative swipe over her clothed cunt. In response, Haru gave a low moan of approval, but repositioned her hips so that your tongue could reach her ass rather than just her pussy. Which, simultaneously allowed you to get a better sniff of her excitement, so, there were no complaints at her wordless request.

At a slow pace, to start, you pressed the flat of your tongue against her asshole as best her pink panties would allow. And, while the fabric of her undergarments kept you from full contact, Haru still rewarded you with another moan. The small sound quiet, but able to be felt while you worked at her with your mouth.

That simple encouragement like a bolt of lightning down to your core while you worked. Each swipe or careful prod of your tongue hard to do thanks to your boss’ panties, but the way the fabric restricted your breathing only seemed to make your neglected cock twitch, and your head swirl with a fog that you couldn’t identify as pleasure, or the encroaching threat of black out.

Regardless of that threat, though, you kept your tongue at work. Lavished your boss’ ass in as much attention as you could until she lifted her hips to allow you to gulp down some fresh air. “Are you okay down there?” She asked, just as breathless as you from such simple and restricted attention. Which, sent a fresh shock of excitement down to your cock, though, this time with a twinge of pride mixed into the carnal excitement. “I-I’m fine, ma’am. Promise.” You assured, which got you a giggle and a sweet smile, “Well then, just remember not to enjoy yourself too much. This is a punishment for being a pervert, remember?” And, before you could offer any comment, she replaced her ass over your mouth.

So, you obediently returned to your work. Your tongue ached from the fight against her panties, and the scent of her pussy pushed against your nose kept you from the fresh oxygen you needed for life. But, you didn’t give a shit. You’d happily die beneath your boss’ ass.

[dramatic-crying]

i hate you, but not really // ryan dunn x reader

description: you are one of Ehren's friends from high school (you're 3 years younger than him), and he always brings you to watch the boys film for Jackass the Movie. Because of this, you spend a lot of time on set, and Ryan and you have developed a bit of a rivalry... or so you thought.

warnings: language (obviously), enemies to lovers, ryan being a little shit, the reader also being a little shit

writing prompts:

"If it makes you feel better, you can slap me. Lightly."

"You deserve to know something."

"I have grown to care for you. Deeply."

word count: ~1.3k

The Jackass crew and I are currently in a golf course, getting ready to smash the shit out of some golf carts and mini golf attractions. Dico and Bam are gonna ride in one cart and Knoxville and Dunn are gonna be in the other. Knowing Ryan, he's gonna crash the fucking cart, as he always does, and get someone injured. But, of course, he thinks he's hilarious when it does happen. That man has no concern for anyone but himself, and it obviously shows in everything he does.

I'm forced out of my thoughts by a familiar voice behind me, the most annoying person that could talk to me right now. "How about a kiss for good luck, sweetheart?"

I whip around to find Ryan in all his grimy glory with a shit-eating grin on his face. I scoff aggressively and back up a few steps from him. "Eat dirt, asshole." I cross my arms.

He looks away incredulously and then right back at me, taking a few steps towards me. "You know what, why do you have to such a bitch all the time? I've never done anything to you, why do you have to hate me so much?"

My eyes widened, and I can feel my cheeks start to redden as his frustrating words begin to sink in. "Oh, really?" I interrogate him, my voice dripping in venom. "I'm a bitch to you? Says the person who hazed me the entire first week I hung out with you guys, including spray-painting a dick on my car!! Just leave me the fuck alone, please?"

As I turn away to return to the rest of the group, Ryan darts in front of me and says, "Okay, okay, okay. If it makes you feel better, you can slap me. Lightly."

"No! Why the hell would I do that?" I roughly push past him and down to the group of friends we share.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After filming for the day, Knoxville suggests we all go out to dinner and invited me along. He suggests that we should all go home and change out of our disgusting clothes and then go out for dinner, which is exactly what we end of doing.

I hitch a ride from Ehren after I've already changed into clean clothes, and we're already halfway to the restaurant before he speaks up. "What's your problem with Ryan?"

Caught off guard with his strange question, I furrow my brows in contemplation. To be honest, I didn't really know anymore. It's just always felt right to hate him, but I realize that doesn't make any sense. So, I answer Ehren's question truthfully in return. "I don't really know. There's just something about him that gets under my skin."

"Do you mean... like in a good way?" He questions, meeting my gaze to raise his eyebrows.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" I look at him back in disgust.

He sighs in defeat and says, "Nevermind. I guess you two are a lost cause after all... Now I owe Dave 20 bucks."

Ehren and I are the last to arrive at the restaurant and we meet up with everybody right outside the front doors. My eyes immediately drift over to Ryan. But, with surprise, he actually looks pretty nice. For once, his clothes are actually clean, and his rusty orange shirt compliments his rosy cheeks delightfully.

I feel someone tap my left shoulder and find Bam playfully staring at me with one eyebrow raised. I sigh and confusedly ask, "What is it?"

He flicks his eyes from Ryan to me and back to him again. "Find something interesting to look at?"

I chuckle and push his shoulder, jokingly telling the brunette to shut up. What no one noticed at this point, and what Ryan would refuse to admit later, was that seeing me joke around with Bam sent a pang of sadness and envy through his body.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At around 8:30, we had all finished eating and visiting with each other and unanimously decide to start to head home. I noticed that Ryan would barely look at me throughout the meal, which was weird considering that he usually picks fights with me at any given moment.

I begin to walk to Ehren's car to get a ride home, but I'm stopped cold in my tracks by a hand gently grasping my wrist. I turn around to find curly-haired Ryan staring straight back at me with a look of apprehension in his eyes. "What do you want?" I ask, not ripping my hand out of his grip yet.

It takes a few seconds for him to respond. When he does, his voice cracks. "Can I just talk to you for a second, alone?"

As I'm standing in front of him, pondering my next words carefully, I suddenly notice who Ryan really is for the first time ever. He's not cruel, he's compassionate. He's not careless, he's thoughtful. "Um, sure," I reply, stepping away from the street and slowly striding to a bench not far from the restaurant we just left.

Although he's walking behind me, he sits down before me, ushering me to sit down next to him. On any other night before this, I never would have chosen to spend any more time with him than I had to. But, for some reason, I'm not even second-guessing my choice to sit as close to him as possible.

He slowly turns his torso to me and rests his hands on his lap. The blonde-haired man takes a deep breath before speaking. His voice is so quiet, it's just above a whisper. "You deserve to know something."

I swallow deeply, preparing myself for anything that he could say.

"You need to know that I have grown to care for you. Deeply. And I know that this may take you off guard or cause you to hate me even more than you already do, but I wanted to get this off my chest because my feelings for you have plagued my thoughts for months."

My breath leaves my body, and I find it hard to even look at this man who has just poured his heart out to me. And it isn't because I don't feel the same way. It's the complete opposite and I have just realized it. "Listen, Ryan," I begin, but he abruptly stands up from the bench.

"Actually, you know what, I realized that this is a bad idea, so I'm just gonna go and probably never talk to you again out of embarrassment," Ryan admits. Before he can even take a step away from me, I grab his hand that has been glued to his side for this entire time and I squeeze his palm in mine while interlocking our fingers. I look up to his eyes, and they seem to be glued to the sight of our intertwined hands.

"Doesn't seem so bad, does it?" I chuckle, swinging our arms together a little bit. "I want you to know... um..." My mouth suddenly feels dry as my tongue fails to create the words. "I'm so sorry for the way I treated you. You never deserved that. And I now realize that I have been the luckiest person to have you there for me. I think, if we both put in effort, we can make us work. What do you think, Dunn?"

Ryan takes another step forward, so our bodies are almost touching, and he brings his hands up to cup my waist. "I have been waiting months for you to say that," he says as he dips his head to bring our lips into a passionate kiss that neither of us will forget for the rest of our lives.

FIN

hey everyone! i'm so excited that i finally wrote a fic over 1k words! also, the overwhelming support i have received over the past couple of days is super heartwarming and i'm so grateful for each and every one of you that have read my stories on here <3