#ballsy as hell… they must be confident

[eurodynamic]

CYBERPUNK 2077: PHANTOM LIBERTY "All In" Live Action Trailer featuring Idris Elba Arrives September 26, 2023

[uncanny8ellen]

How I fell for the bastard,

Karl Heisenberg

I remember the exact moment I fell in love with our all time favorite, showy, ill-tempered metal engineer. I was watching YouTube videos, cuz that's what I do for pastime activity when I got no brain power for books. I watch game plays mostly. I was watching Markiplier video, and yes, him gushing over the infamous 'Lady dimidom' was cute. Mark u simp lol.

Anyway when he first showed up I wasn't that interested. His voice was good,kinda familiar, then I realized it's Neil Newborn. I realllllly liked Elijah Kamsky from dbh, so I was glad to know he voice acted in the game.

Back to our mechanic. His vibe? Cool. Smoking cigar, giant metal hammer slung over shoulder, kinda military look. Oh, nice sunglasses, dude. His speech too. "Well, well. Didn't think anyone was left! You must be preeetty tough, huh." My immediate thought was, 'oh he's got a showman's vibe!' All the metals levitating in the air, and I knew he was trouble for our guy Ethan. Duke only confirmed my suspicion later. After Ethan got dragged to the trial I laughed at "-and if a man's dick is cut off in the castle blah blah blah.", also at the "nothing like fresh American ground beef!"

Then after Ethan's murderous journey to get his ikea furniture equivalent of daughter, a TV crackles. And I was like, oh? Deja vu? But he was different from Lukas Baker. Much less chaotic, for one. He didn't seem that psychotic compared to that guy. More put together. I saw the whole, 'landing a hand' coming from miles away. Duke did say he's the most dangerous one, after all. And I had a feeling that he wasn't just referring to his mutant power.

With all the purring and threatening, it was more amusing if anything. Testing the person who murdered 3 Lords, Vârcolacs, Lycans in the village all on his own with guns, bombs and some herb juice, by sending him to the lycan infested stronghold. To me Ethan was just one hell of a guy. Sure we all suspected he's not human, but imagine a normal computer engineering guy going through all that. Damn. And Heisenberg was ballsy enough to test him. That or he really was the strongest. Either way, I liked his style. "See you, Ethan." Bless ya Neil Newborn.

And really, when Ethan got to the factory (I absolutely love industrial vibe. Didn't really know he was a metal-welding, real mechanic sort of guy until Ethan got to the factory. REAL ASS ENGINEER WHO OWNS A BIGASS FACTORY), I was a bit excited. Even from outside, the building was big. And just like him, the place was unpredictable. After all the hype, I wanted to see this guy's deal.

Then comes the 'proposal scene'. Yes the one where Karl confesses his undying love for Ethan and asks him to marry him.

Kiddin. That voice clip still cracks me up. All hail Neil Newborn.

When Ethan pulled the cloth away and BAM! conspiracy board showed up, I was smiling. Then the devil pops outta nowhere, walking n talking like a showboat he is, and although I was sure the guy had quite a temper, considering his earlier outburst at the church, his movements seemed.....weirdly calculated. When he slammed that chair down and told Ethan to take a seat, that move seemed calculated too.

That made me actually pause the video and think. Everything about him exuded pride. From the very moment he's introduced in the game, he was nothing but charisma and confidence. 'Most dangerous Lord'. A recluse. Huge factory.

And I wondered. Is that enough for him?

The main reason I didn't find him that great of a character was because at first, I felt the villians were a bit flat. Actually, I found all of the Lords a bit...boring up until Ethan escaped the gauntlet. Everything felt cliché, a heroic father looking for his daughter and defeating monsters. Just another fairy tale. Another bad vs good.

Then I saw how Lady Dimitrescu cried for her daughters. Daniela saying she doesn't want to die before she turns to ash, although she did try to murder Ethan. Shocking reveal of Donna lying in the place of Angie, eyes vacant, blood trickling down her face. And yes, I noticed the bloody hand prints she left at the door frame and wallpapers as she was running away from Ethan. That was heartbreaking. Letting her gardener see his loved one again. Claudia Beneviento...

I don't know much about Moreau, but I do know he got multiple cadous implanted. Maybe that's why his mutation was unstable. Cheese loving, cheesy romantic movies loving, cheesy guy that got effed in the head and is a kid looking for his mommy. That was just...sigh. He had to be put down. Damn Miranda.

Then there was this guy who was clearly smart and ambitious. I started to get excited. I resumed the video. "It's a test. To see if you're strong enough to be apart of Mirander's family." 'You're way off the mark, pal,' I thought. But that was a valid guess.

"Neither did I, but here we are!" Being forced into a 'family'. That was interesting. Of course this wild man could never tolerate the confines of his laughable 'family'.

"Kill me, move up the chain, well fuck that!" Yeah! Fuck that! Fuck the cult bullshit! I got reeeally excited. Here I also noticed his voice sounding a little weird. Slightly distorted.

Then the revving started up again. It dawned on me why my intuition was screaming at me about that chair slam. 'DANGER!!!' The guy seemed all brash and brutish but he had a plan. This guy was smart. Not booksmart or wisdom smart, but the way he acted. The chair was directly in front of that hole.

Take the outsider to Mother dearest. Brownie point + avoid suspicion. Waiting until Ethan takes out other Lords. Strong guy? Potential ally. Negotiation first, if fail, down you go. I personally like the headcannon where Heisenberg was the one who painted yellow all over the village. The ammo crates, levers, everything. Makes sense too, he did write those 'papa' signs with yellow paint.

"You and me, Ethan. Together we go save Rose, and we can USE her, to grind Mirander into paste." I immediately knew Ethan was gonna say fuck no to that. What father would agree to use her daughter like that?

But it was at that moment. That moment, my heart just stopped. Yes I died. In my mind, such pleasant realization just poured into my chest. Oh. Oh, he was a rebel. Up against the control freak of a cult leader.

Hey let's go kill my bitch of a surrogate mother. I'm sick of her cult bs, she insane. Imma gon blast her wanna join?

As soon as I realized he's not one of Miranda's pawns, but an unhinged individual planning to take her down, a person, not some toy soldier, I wanted nothing else other than shaking his damn hand. I wanted it so bad. So bad. Why capcom. I get that Ethan wouldn't take that deal. But goddammit.

I fell hard. Been simping ever since. Anything else after that were just cherries and fruit cocktails on top. His maniacal laughter, complaining on speakers while Ethan fights for his life, experiment logs, 'interesting body', HE HAS A CYBORG UNDEAD ARMY?!?!? Heart eyes motherfucker. Production line of soldiers. 'Heisenberg's quarter' but Karl it's a workshop. Where's bed Karl. Karl. Do you sleep on the fucking floor? You doze off sitting in chair?

Stepping down that floating metal stairs with ease. SKILL. Bullet deflected, again, deflected, oh what's this? That distortion from earlier. His voice changing. HIM MUTATING. "Don't, come, hmm Back!!" Just cutting off the platform so Ethan falls in water. Could've killed him right there. Do you like the guy Karl? That why you spared him? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Rain pours and it's so fitting. God. That metal colossus. I shouted, "Fuck didn't know I'm into that shit! Guess I'm a monster fucker then!" And I loved the fight. His theme song. Even his crystal was beautiful.

Miranda's boss fight was anticlimactic compared to his. It was just so intense. Ethan needed a freaking tank and just some luck (Karl turning himself into a fan/grinder and exposing his main reactor. Ethan managed to get back on tank in the air and fire the rpg one last time) to beat him. His boss fight is actually the most difficult out of all the bosses in the game, and if you try village of shadow difficulty, he's almost impossible to kill.

Capcom please, show us that man doing many bad but kinda cool things in DLC I love that man. Please. Let him kill the witch and be the true maniac he is! Come on! Free the rabid man! He belongs in the wild!!!

[jeks-tgs]

Highschool AU - Part 2: How To Make Friends Enemies 101

(TW: Mentions of abuse, violence, blood, disassociation, panic attack)

Walking into class with a poorly concealed black eye was not what he had wanted to do, but sadly he had no say in the matter. Everyone looked up, eyes instantly judgmental, it felt like, looking over this stranger to not only their school but their country.

"Class, this is our new student," The teacher, a kind looking older woman with spidery fingures and sharp cheekbones, introduced him to the class. He stood in front of them, back to the whiteboard, and felt his anxiety build. "Introduce yourself, sweetheart." Somewhat encouraged by her gentle smile and soft Southern drawl, he cleared his throat.

"W-Well, my name's Henry Jekyll, and–"

"Holy shit, you're voice is so fucking deep!"

"He sounds like David Tennant, the fuck?"

"Crowley, is that you!?"

The laughter and comments killed whatever confidence he might have had, and he shrank in on himself. The teacher frowned at her students, holding a hand up. They fell quite, a few sinking down in their seats at her disapproving face.

"Class, that was very disrespectful," She scolded. She must have been one of those teachers students actually liked, because a good chunk of the class looked genuinely guilty for having upset her. "Henry is new, not only to this school, not only to this state, but to this country as well. While some of your comments may not have been intended to be mean, you must take into consideration how this might seem from Henry's perspective." She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, looking worried when he flinched. "He just moved here from an entirely different continent, and his first interaction in a new hometown is to be teased. Now, what do we say?"

A round of apologies were given, some less enthusiastic than others, and Henry felt like he had already made at least five enemies in this class alone. The teacher made a gesture with her hands, and he nervously continued.

"I was born in Glasgow, Scotland, and when I was fourteen my parents moved back up to London. We recently moved to America due to my father's job offering him a better position here, and.. yeah.. that's.. about all there is to.. that.." He felt stupid, and the snickering of some students in the back only worsened the feeling. Suddenly, a girl raised her hand. Henry looked at her, then at the teacher, confused.

"Yes, Melody, what's your question?" Oh. That.. that should have been obvious, he was a fucking idiot-

"Do you watch Doctor Who?" Henry resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Of course he was asked that. Just as he was about to give a brief 'yes', he felt eyes on him. He looked up, and nearly lost his composure; it was that blond kid who was in his backyard last night! He locked eyes with, and suddenly felt the strong urge to prove himself. To who or as what, he had no idea, but he found himself popping his collar and responding in a casual voice, "Bitch, I *am* the doctor."

Edward cracked a grin, laughing and looking away, and he got a few chuckles from some of the other kids.

"Are you aware you look like Crowley from Good Omens?"

"Ah, shit, has angel been blowing my cover again?" He himself laughed a bit when someone coughed out a quick, "That's not the only thing he blows-" After a few more questions (and wow, this teacher gave no fucks about language, and was even laughing herself, okay-), he moved to pick a seat. Feeling a bit bold, he sat beside Edward. The class went dead quiet, and Henry suddenly regretted every life decision he'd ever made, especially when faced with a pair of confused, passive-aggressive eyes.

"..no one sits next to me," He sounded Irish, something Henry hadn't picked up on when he'd first met him. Without thinking, tongue loosened from his quips earlier, he blurted, "Why, d'ye stink?" Someone actually squeaked with fear, and even the teacher was watching them hesitantly. What the fuck had he gotten himself into? The blond's eyes widened a bit, clearly taken aback, and a smile started to creep onto his face.

"You're ballsy, Jekyll," Edward chuckled. Henry felt mildly relieved, but his idea that this was some form of acceptance was washed away instantly when the shorter boy chirped happily, "I'm gonna beat the fuck out of you behind the school during lunch. Don't puss out on me." Henry looked around at the rest of the class, but no one would meet his eyes, except a few who looked at him like they were attending his funeral.

"Mr. Hyde, that's enough," The teacher snapped, turning to begin the lesson. Henry spent the next hour sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair next to a kid who was looking at him like he was going to disembowel him for fun.

---

"Only lasted a day, god damn.."

The story had apparently spread fast, and the comments in the halls weren't helping in the slightest. When lunch rang, someone actually pressed a slip of paper into his hand that simply read, 'Remember: it's 9-9-1 in America, not 9-9-9'. Real fucking helpful, thanks kid. He slowly made his way outside, ignoring the Hunger Games whistles behind him as he turned the corner.

There he was. It was only him and Edward back here- wait, no.. fuck, he'd brought Robert Lanyon. That kid was a good 6"10, what the fuck, how was that fair!? Steeling his nerves, he straightened up, chin held high as he approached him. The blond seemed genuinely surprised to see him, and turned to Robert with a laugh.

"Looks like I'll be getting that snog-sesh after all, Lanyon~" ...what?

Robert rolled his eyes, correcting, "If you win."

"I always win~" G'ah, fuck, he was gonna die-

Henry watched Edward circle him like a shark, green eyes glinting as he licked his teeth. Out of nowhere, the blond swung. His fist connected with Henry's jaw, knocking the Scot flat on his back. Edward, seemingly disappointed, commented, "Shit.. that was quick. Alright, Bob, where's my tonsel hockey, you uppity fu-"

As Henry kicked the blond's legs out from under him, the only thought running through his head was; That barely felt like anything compared to how hard my father hits me. Edward hit the ground with a yelp, and Robert actually let out a surprised laugh. The amusement died as Henry launched himself at the other, drawing back and clocking him dead in the face. He hit him a few more times, then grabbed him by his shirt collar and shook him, his left hand pulled back threateningly, clenched in a bloodied fist.

"Stay the hell away from me!!" Robert had grabbed hold of the back of his shirt, but he couldn't tug him off, adrenaline and fear and maybe a bit of a PTSD attack keeping Henry firmly in place. Others had rounded the corner at the shouting, gasping and murmuring as they crowded around the unexpected victor. "Don't look at me, don't talk to me, don't even fucking think about me!!" Edward's nose was gushing blood, clearly broken, and his green eyes were wide with fear, tears dribbling down his face. He was shaking immensely, thin fingers clutching at Henry's wrist, feebly trying to tug him off.

"If you ever touch me again, I'll break every bone in your fucking body!!" He was oblivious to the crowd, unaware of how kids who had looked at him with sympathy were now looking at him with fear, how peers who had seemed to want to be friends with him were now mentally planning routes to avoid ever having to see him again. "Do you understand me?" Edward let out a pitiful whimper, then cried out in terror when Henry grabbed him by the hair and pulled. "I said do you understand!?!" Edward wailed with fright, and Robert finally pulled Henry off of the blond. He staggered to his feet, rubbing his bruised jaw and breathing hard.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Robert shouted as he helped Edward up, holding the swaying teen to his chest. Henry blinked a few times, guilt settling heavily in his gut. Fuck.. fuck, what had he done? He wasn't a violent person, so why..? The Scot didn't answer, just turned and walked away, not paying any mind to how the other kids were practically tripping over themselves to get out of his way. He rounded a corner, and the minute he was out of sight, his knees gave out. He simply sat there, disassociating, struggling to breath as a panic attack overwhelmed him.

[justjameka]

This post is full of GoT 8x04 spoilers and GIFs!

*I’ve been working on this for two days

Initially, I thought I would write a long, drawn out post about the episode as a whole. There is a lot to discuss and I have lots of feelings about it all. I decided against it because though I am fond of most of the characters on this show, there is one, in particular, that has my heart, and I do believe I will love them for the rest of my life.

Ser Brienne of Tarth. In this potentially long, rambling post, I will discuss what she endured in this episode, and how it relates to things she’s endured in the past and how said things will affect her future. There will be heavy mentions of Ser Jaime Lannister and Braime. (Yes, I ship it, no I don’t hate him).  Any GIFs used in this post are not mine, and neither are the characters because if they were, I would treat them so much better.

This episode for me, a Brienne stan, was both beautiful and heartbreaking. There were so many layers to it. Gwendoline did an immaculate job really taking us on this emotional roller coaster, and making us feel Brienne in a way we haven’t in the past.  I want to talk about my experience watching the episode as a fan, and then my second watch as a writer, and as someone who has studied film and tv collegiately for six years.

Let’s start with the fact that Brienne of Tarth, First of Her Name, Keeper of Oaths, Defeater of The Hound, Protector of the Stark Daughters, Wielder of Oathkeeper, and Knight of the Seven Kingdoms survived the Great War! Not going to lie, I was very concerned for my Amazonian Warrior, but she prevailed.

We have never seen Brienne as carefree and relaxed as we saw her this episode. Her guard was down, she was enjoying herself, drinking and bonding, celebrating life because she faced death and survived. Not only did she live, but her crew survived alongside her. I must say, I enjoy tipsy Brienne. I truly do.

It was beautiful to watch, truly. Her enthusiasm was so open and free.  I was hype AF because: look at Brienne, living her best life just being chill! Ugh! I was teary-eyed. The bonding that occurred was beautiful. Podrick looked amused the entire time. Tyrion watched Jaime stare at Brienne with this knowing look on his face. The entire feast scene was just...*le sigh*

I would be remiss to ignore that it was Ser Jaime, the idiot, who helped pull her out of her shell, and that says a lot. The comfort level here, the heart eyes, the whole thing. He basically tells her it’s all right to just let loose.

Let’s discuss the drinking game, shall we?

Jaime: Um.... You are an only child.

Brienne: *pause with a smirk* I told you I was.

Jaime: You didn’t.

Brienne: I did!

Jaime: I surmised it.

Tyrion: Drink! .....Go again.

Brienne: Why does he get to go again?

Tyrion: Because it’s my game.

Jaime: You have danced with Renly Baratheon

Brienne: *looks at Podrick*

Podrick: *smiles drunkenly*

Tyrion: Drink!

Gah! How dare they flirt so openly, just blatant about it! He said these things confidently. He knew he was right and he was so happy that she was playing along. My poor shipper heart was soaring. Then Tyrion had to go and be...well Tyrion. Stating Brienne was a virgin was a shock to my system. Like...yes asshole we know this but we don’t bring attention to it. She completely closed up and I was like “dammit, Tyrion!” Though I understand that he was trying to push along the inevitable but look here sir, subtly is nice dammit!! Ser Brienne of Tarth was NOT here for this bullshit.

“I have to piss” will forever be what I say from this day forward when I don’t want to answer some shit. The look in her eyes, even though she was uncomfortable, says a lot. So many things and Jaime knew exactly what needed to be done. He’s watched her leave multiple times. She’s left him riding a horse, she’s walked out of his tent, she was in a rowboat, on foot in the snow....  He finally decided he wasn’t going to do it anymore....with a little help from Tyrion. Let’s be honest, Tyrion knew what was going on back in 8x02 when Jaime was staring lovingly at Brienne, and then before the knighting scene when Jaime very nearly jumped from his chair to greet her.  But I digress....

Let me just say this moment had me cackling. Tormund just knew he was going to follow the big woman and they were going to celebrate life together. And here comes Ser Jaime, throwing a golden hand in his plans. Jaime tapping Tormund twice before going off to follow Brienne with his little ‘nice try’ squint. It was so, just, I have no words. We see a little of jealous Jaime here. There has been the back and forth but we all know Tormund doesn’t stand a chance, it’s in this moment when Tormund realizes that he has lost.

Tyrion pouring his wine into Tormund’s horn while holding eye contact the entire time was another nail in the coffin. Poor guy. He just wanted to make giant babies with Brienne. Pod’s drunken smile was just amusing as hell. He was like my parents ‘Ser Jaime and Ser Brienne are finally going to consummate their 5-year relationship’. This entire sequence was absolutely hysterical. Also, the fact that Brienne had no idea of what happens between Tormund and Jaime. When she turns all she sees is Jaime in pursuit and she lengthens her stride because it’s just a bit much for her. I think she knew here, what was bound to happen and I think it scared her a little.

When I saw Oathkeeper I knew it was about to go down. I thought I was prepared but I was not. So let’s hop into this:

Brienne is tending to her fire. No longer is she in leathers. Just her undershirt and pants. Sometimes I forget how gloriously tall she is. There is a knock at the door and though she hesitates for a moment she opens it, without asking who it is. Is that a thing you do in Winterfell? Open your door late at night in your undershirt without inquiring who is on the other side?

Can we talk about Jaime’s exhale? He’s like,” welp we’re here now. I knocked. She answered. No turning back.” It’s all there on his face. How long did it take him to gather up the courage to knock? She’s no longer in her leathers. She had time to remove them. Set them aside and tend to the fire. How long was Jaime giving himself a pep talk? Trying to figure out how he was going to do approach her, approach them and the next step in their very complicated relationship.  

She isn’t surprised to see him. She doesn’t ask why he’s there she just opens the door and holds his eye, waiting. Had she been waiting? She saw him when he was coming after her. She knew he was following her. Could that be why his presence didn’t surprise her? I’m going to say yes.

J: You didn’t drink.

B: *confused* I didn’t drink?

J: In the game.

B: *More confused* I drank.

J: *adamantly* In the game! ....this is Dornish

B:This is not the game. This is only drinking.

J:Suit Yourself.

B: *drinks*

J: You keep it warm enough in here.

B: *shy and a bit reserved* It’s the first thing I learnt when I came to the North. Keep your fire going. Every time you leave the room, put more wood on.

J: *assholely* That’s very diligent. Very responisble.

B: *sick of his shit* Piss off.

J: You know the first thing I learn in the North? I hate the fucking North.

B: *amused* It grows on you.

J: I don’t want things growing on me

I couldn’t find GIFs of this moment, I know they are out there, I was just impatient and didn’t want to scroll through the different tags to find them. So we start this scene with Jaime seeming a little drunk and insistent on Brienne drinking to prove something he already knows and she knows that he already knows. To Brienne’s credit, she deals with his weird approach to the elephant in the room quite well. It’s very honest to who they’ve been since they met each other. The banter is genuine, Jaime being an asshole, Brienne being sick of his shit, it’s perfect.

B: *amused* It grows on you.

J: I don’t want things growing on me

I thought it was very obvious that when Brienne says this, with a little twinkle in her eye and a smirk that she means him. Or maybe I’m overthinking it..... As for Ser Jaime....IT’S TOO FUCKING LATE, SHE’S ALREADY GROWN ON YOU! He’s such an asshole. I swear.

Brienne’s ‘bitch please’ look in the second GIF has me weak. Jaime knew damn well that Brienne did not want Tormund. SN: I don’t dislike Tormund, I think he’s great. Not only is she mildly annoyed that he asked her that, but she also calls him on his shit! That was a pretty ballsy thing for her to do. There was no guarantee that Jaime was going to respond favorably. It could have been a moment of embarrassing rejection, but she did it anyway. She’s experienced men being horrible to her in the past, but she trusts him. She also knew that she was right. It doesn’t matter that she’s inexperienced. And it wasn’t an accusation just a statement of very obvious fact. She doesn’t raise her voice, it’s barely above a whisper. She almost loses her nerve at the end. Although she trusts him, there is some trepidation there. He’s known to insult her, though they’ve become less acidic as time has gone on.

Jaime agreeing with her is interesting because he almost seems surprised by his jealousy. As if he honestly didn’t know it was there, but he sees no point in denying it once it’s out in the open. He almost makes light of it.  He’s cared for her for years. He armed her. Armoured her. Saved her. (multiple times). He loves her, and maybe at that moment, it hits him that he can’t hide it or run from it.  

It’s bloody hot in here.

Jaime is by far the worst flirt in Westeros. ‘It’s bloody hot in here.” Really? It’s almost like things were getting too real. He had to lighten the mood and make it, easy, simple. Brienne’s confusion as he fiddles with the knot on his shirt is so precious and endearing. You can see the wheels in her head just turning. She’s running through scenarios, she’s planning, she’s trying to decide where this will go. What should happen when she makes the decision, she takes a page out of Jaime’s book. It’s not tender or sweet, but it’s very them. It’s reminiscent of her stabbing his ham so that he could cut it back in season 3. This moment is very powerful. It’s the first step towards her deciding this is what she wants, though she’s very matter-of-fact about it. Jaime’s intentions were relatively clear upon his arrival, but this is the beginning of Brienne deciding that she wants to do this. That she wants to give herself to this man.

Can we just take a damn minute and admire this tenderness!! This is in direct contrast with her shoving his hand away. She’s very stoic, almost business-like as she goes about untying his shirt, but when Jaime reaches for the knot on her shirt, real smooth Jaime, everything stops. It’s sweet the way she holds his fingers as they stare into each other’s eyes. As she makes the final discussion.

I’m so in love with the fact that they are topless before anything happens. And kudos to Jaime for keeping his eyes on Brienne’s face for the most part. Unlike the bath scene in season 3. SN: WHERE IS BRIENNE’S SCAR?!?!?!? 

Jaime ‘I’m a Dork’ Lannister, you’ve never been with anyone that isn’t Cersi before. What are you talking about?!?! I can’t lie, I thought it was cute. Fuck it, I thought it was adorable. And Brienne’s honesty here was so refreshing. I really appreciated the honesty from both of them in that moment. There are nerves swarming all around them, but they trust each other. It’s a big deal that they are doing this for both of them. Jaime has never experienced a non-toxic sexual experience. All of the times we see twincest, it’s aggressive and awkward, it’s fast and hard. There are no gentle caresses or loving looks and it’s usually forced consent.

For Brienne, she has never allowed herself to be in any scenario remotely close to that moment. This is a woman who slept in armour to protect herself. This is a woman who was ridiculed by multiple men, who was constantly called ugly, who was deemed undesirable. She was pretty much stripped of her femininity, and she fell hard into her role as a fighter, a warrior. But then Jaime came along. And he is handsome and highborn, and he loves her. He wants her.

I think this was the perfect first kiss for Ser Brienne and Ser Jaime. Please @ me! It’s honest. It’s awkward. It’s sweet. His eyes are open initially, he wants to see her. HE HAS TO GO UP ON HIS TIPPY TOES TO KISS HER! It’s so fucking cute. She’s supposed to be overexcited. This has never happened to her before, and she doesn’t know what she’s doing, but she wants it. And she came to terms with that fact. It’s perfect for them as a pairing. They’re like teenagers, fumbling around trying to figure what feels good. It’s sweet and innocent and wonderful. 

I love Jaime’s hand on her neck then her hair. It’s simple but it’s grounding them in the moment. There is a push and pull happening that mirrors their relationship. Jaime initiates the kiss and it takes Brienne by surprise. She stumbles a little but she’s not one to be outdone so she pushes back. And it’s not perfect but it’s honest and pure. Dammit I love them. 

I love the quiet moment of Jaime watching Brienne sleep. He looks pensive. His mind is working overtime. This is a big deal to him. This honorable woman gifted him with her womanhood. She trusted him. HIM. Of all people. He who is far from perfect. Brienne is too pure for this world, but she loves him and wants him. He can’t believe it.

I don’t have a ton to say about this, but Sansa knows, and I think that’s interesting. I want to know how much time has passed. How long has it been since OathSex? Brienne is so bashful and it’s so fucking cute. It’s ok Brienne, there’s nothing wrong with what you did!

Tyrion is such a dirty old man. I love how the relationship between Tyrion and Jaime has grown. They love each other so much, and it’s so obvious. It made me so happy to see their bond survive Tyrion killing their father. I love Tyrion for not bring up Cersei when he finds out. He does what is expected, he cracks a joke. It’s very telling that Jaime did not want to discuss Brienne with his brother. Yes, he loves Tyrion but Brienne is off limits.

So, going into the final three Braime scenes, I’m going to switch gears and really delve into what is happening without fangirling. 

Jaime finding out that Cersei ambushed Daenarys burst the bubble he’d been in with Brienne. It started with Bronn showing up with a crossbow, telling the Lannister brothers that Cersi wants them dead. He knew that Cersei was displeased with him leaving but I think he was genuinely surprised that she sent someone to kill him. That weighs heavy on him because if there is a price on his head, then that puts Brienne in danger. And he would never be able to forgive himself if something happened to her because of him. When he learns about the ambush, I truly believe that is when the decision was made.

He doesn’t want to leave. He’s hoping that she doesn’t wake up, and I’m of the belief that they made love before that night. He doesn’t want to have to say goodbye to her. It’s selfish and infuriating, but he doesn’t know if he’s strong enough to say goodbye, and that becomes blatantly obvious when Brienne comes outside.

He doesn’t look at her. Not because he doesn’t love her. Not because he doesn’t respect her. Because he can’t. He can’t look at her. Looking at her means looking at the woman he loves and seeing what his departure is doing to her.

B: They’re going to destroy that city. You know they will.

J: Have you ever run away from a fight. 

I think it’s worth it to mention that he doesn’t mention Cersei. He asks “have you ever run away from a fight?” It’s easy for this to get lost in this horrendously heartbreaking moment, but it starts with him acknowledging that there is a fight that he needs to be a part of. He’s also showing how highly he thinks of her. She doesn’t run away from fights. He feels like a coward, hiding out in King’s Landing. But deeper than that, he feels compelled by honor.

There is so much happening in this moment. Jaime was not prepared for the intimacy of it. Brienne grabs his face, and makes him look at her, and he is putty for a moment. There are so many emotions on his face as she tells him that he’s not like his sister, and that he’s a good man, and that he should stay with her. He aspires to be as honorable as she is. She has validated him on multiple occasions, and every time he is in awe and this moment is no different. His eyes shine with tears, he does not want to do it. It pains him to hear her like this. He’s never had to hurt her and you can see that her outpour of emotions really affect him.  Her insecurities surface and she believes he’s leaving her to go back to Cersei. He uses it.

This is not a man that wants to leave a woman. His subtle nod as she tells him he’s a good man and asks him to stay. Jaime has always been nonverbally expressive. He strokes her hand gentle, savoring the feel of her before he has to break her heart. 

You think I’m a good man? I pushed a boy out a tower window, crippled him for life for Cersei. I strangled my cousin with my own hands, just to get back to Cersei. I would have murdered every man, woman and child in Riverrun for Cersei. 

*painful eye contact*

She’s hateful and so am I

It’s so telling that he mentions Riverrun.  He says he would have killed every man, woman and child for Cersei, but he leaves out when he didn’t. He neglects to mention that Brienne showing up in the middle of his camp during a siege changed everything. He was surprised to see her, but he is also pleased to see her. If we’re being honest he’s always pleased to see her. But her arrival really made him change his intentions.

Riverrun was the first time that he went against Cersei for Brienne. It’s when he, in his own way, tells her he loves her.

 It’s where he lets her go when he had every right to apprehend her. It’s where he puts Brienne above politics.  It’s where Cersei starts to lose him.  It’s subtle, but in letting Brienne attempt to gain forces/troops for Sansa, who would in turn attempt to take Winterfell back from the Boltons, which was given to them by Walder Frey who was a bannerman for the Lannisters. It’s when he, unbeknownst to himself maybe, chooses Brienne over his family. It’s there that it’s clear what he feels for her and what she feels for him.

It’s because of all of this, that Brienne’s emotions erupt at the mention of Riverrun. She knows what happened there and what could’ve happened there. She knows she stopped hundreds of men from being slaughtered needlessly. She knows.

There is so much self-loathing rolling off of Jaime in waves. He’s struggling with feeling like he’s not enough. He doesn’t think he deserves her, but he wants her. But he has to finish it. It must be him. 

She can’t stop him. He’s going to King’s Landing and he’s going to try and stop Cersei. He’s going to do it because he didn’t do it years ago. He’s going because he did push a boy from a tower window. Because he did strangle his own cousin. He’s going because the one time he stood up to her was because of the woman standing in front of him. And he knows Ser Brienne of Tarth will not be safe as long as Cersei has power. He can’t stay. He can’t stay because the moments of happiness that they have are fleeting. Daeny has lost half her army and another dragon. The scales are not balanced and he can’t sit back and wait.

Have you ever run from a fight?

He’s going to fight for what important to him now and he doesn’t know if he’ll be successful but he knows he has to try. 

Brienne showed such strength. She has allowed herself to be open and vulnerable. She’s allowed Jaime into her life, she gave herself to him, she loves him and he’s going off on a suicide mission. She doesn’t want him to leave. She’s scared for him. If Cersei’s army can kill a dragon what will happen to Jaime? It was so incredibly brave for her to even go and pursue him. She’s fought a bear, she fought the Hound, she fought the army of the undead, but this is a fight she isn’t equipped to fight. She’s watched one man that she loves die and it nearly broke her. She would never forgive herself if something happens to Jaime.

This scene was comprised of two people who love each other showing each other how deep that love runs. Sacrificing theif life (Jaime) and Pride (Brienne) in order to protect the other.  I honestly think the message was received on both ends.

This is a man that loves a woman and he’s going to fight for that love and for that woman. 

I have no insight into what D&D are doing but I can only hope that they didn’t take Jaime on such a beautiful character arc to throw it away. I hope that they will not perpetuate the “hot guys sleeps with not hot girl” trope. I hope that we as viewers aren’t going to fall victim to character assassination and lazy writing. More than anything, I hope Brienne and Jaime meet again so she can punch him in the face and then help off the ground once he falls. (much like Yara did Theon)

[takerfoxx]

Right, okay, let’s talk about Maleficent: Mistress of Evil.

Oh boy, do I have a lot to unpack here. And, uh, content warning for discussion of rape and genocide.

Right, let’s start with my thoughts on the first one. Overall, I liked it a whole lot, but mostly I’m astounded that it got the go-ahead in the first place. I mean, a bizarre subversive take on Sleeping Beauty of all things that recasts Disney’s most iconic villain as a sort of anti-hero with a heavy feminist slant that had a blatantly unsubtle rape metaphor as its centerpiece? It should have been a trainwreck! Hell, it almost was a trainwreck, one that threatened to jump the tracks the entire runtime! It shouldn’t have worked, it almost didn’t work...but it still did.

Part of that was just how committed everyone involved was to its own mad premise. Say what you want about the idea, but it was ballsy as hell, and it totally went all in with...everything. I mean, you kind of have to just to make something like this work, as any kind of drawback or halfass would’ve caused the whole thing to come crashing down, so the only chance you’ve got is to point the whole endeavor straight at that brick wall and slam your foot down on the ignition. And it went in deep, recontextualizing King Steffen as a paranoid, manipulative, power-hungry madman; the three fairies as total dolts; Prince Philip, someone who might seem dull in comparison to later princes like Aladdin, Eric, or the Beast, but was still the most proactive prince Disney had at that point, as kind of a duffer whom Maleficent had to literally drag along on his own quest and who was understandably squeamish about kissing an unconscious girl against her will; Daival as a dashing sidekick; and completely flips the Maleficent/Aurora relationship on its head. That’s the sort of thing you see in those What If? fanfics that you tend to obsess over in highschool, and it comes packing all of the raw emotion of one of those fics, and because of that it pulls its own crazy premise off. Yes, it was flawed. Yes, there were things that didn’t work. But they almost don’t matter in light of just how impressive it was that they managed to pull something this audacious off.

And as for the rape metaphor...actually, scratch that. Let’s call a spade a spade, okay? It wasn’t a metaphor, that was straight up a rape. Maybe it wasn’t sexual, but what a lot of people forget is that rape isn’t about sex, it’s about power. It’s about dominating another person to take their power away so that the aggressor can feel powerful, and that’s how it was played, and they committed to showing it in all of its ugliness. I mean, holy shit that takes balls.

But the bulk of the reason why it worked was because of Angelina Jolie.

I mean, what an absolutely mesmerizing performance! The OG Maleficent was so memorable in part because everyone else in that movie kind of...wasn’t, but also because she was super cool and super badass and totally in love with being THAT BITCH! And Angelina Jolie absolutely owns that role.

I mean, she is Maleficent. She just took a DNA test, and I don’t need to tell you what the results are. She embodied all of that iconic character’s regal majesty, menace, cruelty, confidence, and knowing that she was the badass bitch to ever vamp about in a long black gown with a bitching pimp staff just ready to show up uninvited and wreak some unholy vengeance, and then some. There is no longer any need to wonder where your god is, because she is right there, and she is all out of mercy.

But then she goes and gives actual depth to a really awesome but still kind of one note character, from the young innocence before she was betrayed to genuinely bonding with young Aurora to her desperate heartbreak over being unable to break her own curse to actual fear when it seems that the mad king has finally got her to...well, the agony of betrayal when she wakes up and fully realizes what Steffen has done to her. That’s a wide range of emotions to have to portray in a character only known for being smirkingly evil or ragingly evil, but she goes in hard, and basically holds the whole haphazard production together through the sheer gravitational pull of her performance.

So when they announced a sequel, I was intrigued. In fact, I was hoping for another totally insane, probably a bad idea production that just goes HAM on whatever crazy topical stuff it wants to talk about with Angelina Jolie just owning everything she touches.

But what it turned out to be...

Sigh.

Okay.

Let’s do this.

All right, I won’t go into specific plot details until I reach the spoiler cut, because they’re not really important. What I want to get across is the first third of this movie, it really had me. It was good! It had everything I liked about the first one. Different situation, sure, but we had Maleficent being Maleficent and bouncing off other characters, both old and new, and it was good.

Then the second third rolled around, and things started to come apart. I mean, it didn’t totally lose me or anything, there was a lot of good stuff, we learn a lot of cool lore, there’s a kickass Zootopia-type place we visit with a whole bunch of biomes, and I was generally okay with how things were, assuming that they could stick the landing. But the big problem here was that there was a whole lot less of Maleficent. Oh, she was there, sure, but she wasn’t really...doing much, mostly just walking around while some other character explained exposition to her, to which she barely even reacts, so we’re left with Aurora and Philip and Michelle Pfieffer as the new evil queen to do all the heavy lifting. And they do an admirable job of it I suppose (though the lack of romantic chemistry between Aurora and Philip was really noticeable here), but this part was seriously missing Angelina Jolie’s overwhelming presence that the first movie had, so the seams started to show.

And then we get to the third act, and that’s where it all fell apart for me. So, I guess it’s spoiler time.

Long story short, the main plot is that Prince Philip’s mom is evil and is trying to arrange for the total genocide of all of Maleficent’s fairy subjects in the Moors so that the humans can take over. And she does this by first poisoning the king with the same curse Aurora was originally under and blaming it on Maleficent (okay, that works), have Maleficent sniped when she tries to flee with an iron bullet (makes sense), come up with a special iron/magic flower compound that is fatal to fairies (good so far), and luring the Moors inhabitants in with the promise of being wedding guests, locking them in the cathedral, and dousing them with this fairy killing dust. And just in case, she also has the entire castle barricaded and guarded with a whole bunch of fairy killing dust weapons and traps.

You know what? For an evil plot, she really worked out most of the contingencies, and it nearly succeeds, though the question must be asked of why the Moors inhabitants just stroll right in after their guardian just straight up disappears after doing the same thing. But anyway, she gets as far as actually locking up all the fairies and pelting them with the killer dust.

But then the castle is attacked. See, all through the second act, Maleficent is rescued by the rest of her people, the Dark Fae, and it turns out that they’ve slowly been forced by humans to retreat to a single sanctuary, but they’re ready to reclaim their homelands by force, and after seeing her people’s sacred burial grounds defiled and the Dark Fae that saved her assassinated by humans, Maleficent is feeling pretty okay with that. In fact, the warmonger Dark Fae that’s all for violence and who leads the attacks makes a point that Maleficent has powers that not even they possess and could be their secret weapon. I mean, just have her show up and be all Mistress of Evil. Makes sense, right?

Buuuuuuut, then they attack the humans and...just sort of leave her behind? Like, she just stays with the dying dude who sacrificed himself to save her and was the one espousing a peaceful solution, and no one bothers to try to get her to come along despite her having every reason to kick all sorts of ass? Like, they have the forest magic going for them, sure, but she’s packing that green fire of I WIN, YOU LOSE, and they just...don’t take her with them?

Huh?

And as predicted, the humans unleash all their killer dust bombs and killer dust missiles and just massacre the Dark Fae. We see several of them just get slaughtered on screen, and meanwhile we also watch the Moor fairies also getting massacred in what amounts to a fucking GAS CHAMBER, complete with several of them straight up dying on screen, including one of the three fairies! No, I’m being serious, they straight up kill the Blue Fairy!

But then Maleficent shows up fashionably late, green fires all the humans into submission, has her big faceoff with the queen, there’s a bunch of stuff with Aurora and Philip trying to get everyone to stop fighting, there’s a big fakeout GOTCHA with Maleficent dying to save Aurora but coming back because I guess she’s the Phoenix or something, then the queen gets captured and turned into a goat and everyone’s friends now so they all get together and let Aurora and Philip have their wedding because the power of love wins in the end!

...

wat.

Okay, so there is something to be said for the letting peace and understanding win out and refusing to continue the cycle of violence, but, um, wasn’t there, you know, A FUCKING GENOCIDE HAPPENING NOT TOO LONG AGO? And by not too long ago, I mean literally five minutes? We see Dark Fae and Moor fairies dying en mass! And they don’t come back! I mean, there’s a sly hint that the Blue Fairy lives on as a flower or something, but that’s not really elaborated on, and we literally see a whole bunch of people get massacred! But now we’re just going to have a wedding right over everyone’s conveniently bloodless corpses and everyone’s just fine with it? And the evil queen that arranged this whole slaughter gets humorously turned into a goat and everyone laughs at in, including the recovered king (because apparently to break the curse for good all you needed was to destroy the original spindle, so I guess so much for that touching retelling of True Love’s Kiss from the first movie! Totally unnecessary now!) who just says something like, “I’m sure Maleficent will turn her back...assuming we want her to.” And then he just makes a face as if the queen was just a nagging harpy that was hard to put up with and not a literally murderous despot who tried to assassinate you and bring your kingdom to total war by eradicating the neighbors you were trying so hard to work out a peace with!

No. Fuck that, no! That is bullshit! Choose a path and fucking commit! That’s what the first movie did! It decided it was going to sneak a fucking rape scene into a Disney movie that was to be seen by a lot of little girls, and it went all in, up to and including never blaming Maleficent for wanting to take vengeance and putting all of the blame on Steffen, so it worked! If you’re going to stick in a fucking genocide, then you better show the horrific aftereffects of that genocide, not a weaksauce power of love, everyone’s friends now ending! And make the despising of the queen actually mean something, not just a humorous slapstick humiliation!

Fucking hell, what were they thinking?

[our-smooty]

A request straight from the Gorillaz 18+ server: 2Stu NSFW!!

“Uh...”

Stu had been standing in the doorway of his bedroom for at least two minutes, trying to figure out exactly what he was supposed to say in this situation. Because really, what did you say when what appeared to be a younger version of himself was standing, nearly naked, in the middle of your bedroom?

“What the bloody hell?!” the younger 2D blubbered, grabbing the towel around his hips and jerking it higher up. He was dripping wet and covered in suds. “I was only tryin’ to take a shower and then...”

“You didn’t use the basement shower at Kong, did you?” Stu asked, starting to get the lay of the land. “Murdoc always told me to stay away from that one cause things kept goin’ in and not comin’ out.”

2D looked around shiftily. “But all the other ones were broken, or someone was usin’ them!”

“Nah, s’a mistake anyone could make. You want some clothes?” Honestly finding a younger, time-travelling version of himself in his bedroom wasn’t even in the top 10 weirdest things to happen in his life, especially not with how their current roommate was a murderous manifestation of Murdoc’s... whatever.

“Y-yeah, s’bloody freezin’. Where the hell do you live the North Pole? Have you seen any polar bears?” Stu almost wanted to chuckle at his younger self’s naive questions. Was he always that adorable, or was this some sort of weird alternate dimension thing? Thinking about it hurt his brain too much. Instead, he pulled out an old t-shirt (possibly as old as his doppelganger was), and a pair of jeans to hand over.

“No, it’s jus’ really cold in America in some places. Russel said they so much snow sometimes you have to wear special snowshoes.”

“Oh, so you’re in America then?” The younger singer wasn’t making much progress on getting his borrowed clothes on. Instead, he was eyeing up Stu with something... strange in his gaze. “You look... different.”

The look took 2D back nearly 15 years, to when he’d been young and ballsy and incredibly randy. Was it really so strange that this time-shifted version of himself was acting... flirty? He was a good looking guy, especially for his age, and he’d always fancied he could pull just about anyone. Never thought he’d have the chance to do it to himself though, but again, weirder things had happened.

“You mean older? I dunno, think I looked better all young and shite,” Stu flirted back. He was pretty sure no one else was home and even if they had been it wouldn’t have been too unusual for the singer to have a “guest” over. “Didn’t realize I was so... cute?”

2D blushed, going all splotchy around his neck and chest. “You’re jus’ saying that cause I’m me and I’m half-naked in your room. I know how you think.”

“How do I think then?” Stu teased, taking a step closer and prying the t-shirt and jeans from his younger self’s hands. “I know how you think too, I remember how it was. You’re what, in the middle of Demon Days? Been a shortage of birds, ever since you moved back into Kong hasn’t there?”

“N-no! Murdoc jus’ keeps hoggin’ them all!” They were so close now Stu could feel the other’s breath on his cheek. They were the same height which must have been weird for both fo them because most people they dated were at least a little smaller. Distantly Stu wondered if he was a good kisser, and if this was the best time to find out.

“Still, has to be awfully lonely. I’m lonely here to you know. We’re takin’ a break and there haven’t been any groupies around for ages...” he prodded. He’d forgotten how fragile that veneer of confidence was, back then. How easily he caved under a few vague hints and suggestions. “Could do something about that... if you wanted to?”

“It’d be weird,” 2D answered, his eyes now glued to Stu’s lips and the truely confident smile there. “Wouldn’t it?”

“We like weird though?” And that was it. One of them leaned forward a little but more and that forbidden gap was breached. Lips on lips, bare-chest against cotton, hands yanking and pulling at fabric coverings until they were both completely naked. Stu knew all the places to touch, all the ways to make himself moan and shudder with feelings he probably wasn’t supposed to discover for at least another 5 years. 

“I know you've been with a few guys since Jamaica,” the mere mention of that wonderous, whirlwind of a trip had both of them fidgeting with excitement, “I know you liked it, and you wanna do it again. S’ok you know, you don’t have to worry about it.”

“Ahh,” 2D moaned, jutting his hips forward against Stu’s, forcing bursts of that all-desired friction between then.

“And besides, how many people can say they actually got to fuck themselves?” 2D chuckled, knowing he’d won. After all, he knew himself, knew his fantasies and all the times he’d jerked off in the mirror, getting off to the pleasure-pinch of his own face. “So you wanna...?”

“Fuckin’ hell yes,” the younger 2D gasped, kicking the towel away from his feet and turning towards the messy bed. Stu grinned and wiggled his fingers like he was about to grab the last slice of pizza out from under one of his bandmate’s noses.

“Good.” And then they were together, identical skin on skin, one missing a few scars, the other with a few extra wrinkles. Really it was a better solution than trying to figure out the whole time-travel business. Best leave that up to someone like Russel or Murdoc when they got back, and enjoy the time they had now. 

[barnes-dameron]

The Blind Date

*not my gif* 

Matt Murdock x fem!reader

Summary: Thanks to your lovely matchmaking friend, Natasha, you were set up on a blind date with a very attractive blind man. 

Word count: 2.5k

“Seriously Y/N,” Natasha says, eyeing you over the granola bar she was eating. “When was the last time you’ve been on a date?”

You rolled your eyes at the question, and continued to eat your cereal. It’s been a while since you’ve been on an actual date but there were reasons, or excuses you made. You’ve been working as a nurse and medical assistant to Dr. Cho at the Avenger’s facility for over a year now. From late nights of patching up Steve or wrapping up a sprain ankle from Sam, you didn’t have any “free time.”

When hearing upon your dull love life, Natasha had to stick her nose in your business. You tried your best to dodge her questions, in effort to not embarrass yourself. While trying to enjoy your bowl of cereal in the morning before your long day of work, Natasha decided to ambush you. 

“A while,” you said in between bites of cereal. 

“How long is a while?” Natasha asked, pointing her granola bar at you. 

“A year,” you mumbled while putting the spoon in your mouth. 

“A what?” she asked, giving you a look of confusion. 

“A year,” you said, loud enough for her to hear. 

Natasha practically let her granola bar fall out of her hands. She hopped off her seat on the kitchen table, and came racing towards to one side of the kitchen island, the opposite from where you sat. 

“You haven’t gone on a date in a year?!” she exclaimed. “What’s wrong with you?”

You shook your head, while trying to formulate a good response. But you came up short. 

“I don’t know,” you said at last. “I’ve just been so caught up with work that I never really had time to go out. Plus it’s hard to find good men to go out with. When I tell people I work for you guys, they just get intimidated and drift away.”

Natasha pursed her lips, and nodded her head. 

“Well...” she said, dragging out the last letter. “I found the perfect guy for you.”

“Natasha-”

“Y/N please,” Natasha said, holding up her hand to silence you. “You haven’t been on a date for over a year because of us. I’ll take care of your shift and make sure Steve, Sam, and the others won’t injure themselves. You deserve at least one night to yourself and another man.” 

“What if he doesn’t like me?” you asked, your nerves getting the better of you. 

“Are you kidding me?” Natasha said. “You’re a smart, hot, and sexy nurse. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

You smiled. Any other person would say that to you, and you would still feel doubtful. But hearing that from Natasha, it gave you a burst of confidence. Maybe you could go on a date. It’s been a while, but you could probably do it. It won’t be hard, plus it’s one date. 

“What’s he like?” you asked, curiosity getting the better of you. 

Natasha smiled, straightening her back a bit. 

“He’s handsome, kind, loyal, a civil servant, brave, and not to mention a lawyer.”

Hmm. This guy does sound pretty nice, and a lawyer! You were a sucker for lawyers since your little Law & Order binge watch in between shifts. You shrugged your shoulders. 

“Plus,” Natasha added. “He doesn’t give a damn on how anybody’s looks.”

“What the hell,” you said. “Why not?”

“Great,” Natasha responded. “You have a date with him tonight at six at that little restaurant in Hell’s Kitchen.”

You practically choked on the milk you were drinking from your bowl. 

“Tonight?” you asked. 

“Yeah,” Natasha said as she was making her way to the door. “I let him know a couple of days ago. He’s wearing dark red shades, and don’t be rude by being late.”

The restaurant that Natasha instructed you to be at was actually quite nice. The tables were covered in cream colored cloth, and were lit by soft candle light.  Classical musical played gently in the background, filling the silence but still allowing people to carry on conversation. 

It’s been a while since the last time you got dressed up. You never really attended Tony’s lavish parties, so you had no need to do it, except tonight. You wore a dark red and black dress, that Wanda graciously let you borrow, that hugged your figure in all the right places. It was the first time in forever that you practically radiated confidence. 

You looked around, searching over the heads of people to see a face wearing red shades. The restaurant was quite crowded, and for a split second you felt hope dwindling out from your body. He probably stood you up. A part of you wanted to leave the restaurant, go back to the facility, and relieve Natasha from covering your shift. But hope still resided in you as well. 

You approached the hostess behind the little podium, your stomach twisting a bit. 

“Excuse me,” you said, grabbing her attention. “Have you seen a man with red sunglasses?” 

“Yes, he came not too long ago,” she said, looking around the restaurant. “He’s towards the back corner over there.” 

You looked at the direction she indicated, and found where he sat. You thanked the hostess, and began to make your way towards his table. He didn’t stand you up. He was here. He was actually here. You are on an actual date. The closer you got to the table, the butterflies began to flutter more widely in your stomach. He was there, sitting patiently for you. 

“Hi,” you said, trying to grab his attention. “Sorry I’m late.”

You sat in your seat that was across from him. He was handsome. His thick dark hair was perfectly in place but a little messy, and coincided with his 5 o’clock shadow. He smiled, his bright and unwavering.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, his voice deep. “I didn’t wait for long.”

You settled yourself in, placing the cloth napkin on your lap. 

“You must be Y/N,” he said. “Natasha’s sexy nurse friend.”

You laughed and nodded your head. 

“That would be me,” you said. “And you’re...”

“Matt,” he said, his smile quirking to one side. “Matt Murdock.” 

“Nice to meet you Matt.”

“You as well Y/N.”

The waiter came by and introduced himself, placing two menus in front of you and Matt. But something seemed a bit off. You watched as Matt pursed his lips, and turned his head to the direction of your waiter. 

“Do you by chance have menus written in braille?” Matt asked. 

Braille? You looked over the side of the table, and saw a white cane. Oh, he’s blind. You would’ve thought that Natasha would give you a heads up. You listened as the waiter apologized, and watched as he went to go get Matt’s menu. 

“You just figured out, didn’t you?” Matt asked, a smirk playing on his lips. 

“Yeah,” you said, embarrassment strung in your voice. 

“I hope this doesn’t change anything,” Matt said, tapping his finger lightly on the base of his fork. 

“It doesn’t,” you replied. “Why should it?” 

Matt smiled. Even though he couldn’t see you, he saw you. He didn’t need to see your physical features, he saw you by the way you talked. He saw you by the way you described things with such a passion. He saw you by the way your heart would flutter at random times. 

The dinner went on smoothly. You laughed at his stories, and you shared some of things from your past. You never felt this great in over a year. Maybe Natasha was right. 

“So you work with the Avengers?” he asked before eating a bite from his dinner. 

You let out a loud sigh. 

“Yeah,” you replied. “It’s not as glamorous as it seems. My job is to just patch them up, and tell them to be careful next time even though they don’t.”

“If we started off the night with that comment then it probably would’ve gone a different way,” he said, laughing softly after. 

“Oh really,” you said, trying your best to be flirty but failing horribly. You thought you had your dating mojo, but that all changed when actually being in front of Matt. “How would it be different?” 

You witnessed the slight hesitation in Matt’s breathing, the tension in his shoulders. He pursed his lips, his eyebrows furrowing a bit. He opened his mouth but closed it again, trying to collect his thoughts. 

“You work with heroes right?” he asked, his head tilting to the side a bit. 

“Yes...” you said, trying to follow him. 

“What if I told you that being a lawyer isn’t all I do?” 

“What else do you do?” you asked, rather curious for the answer. 

At that moment, you moved your hand to reach for another napkin, but your hand bumped and knocked over an empty glass from your previous drink. It would’ve hit the floor and shatter if it wasn’t for Matt. 

You watched in utter amazement as Matt quickly caught the glass halfway down. How he knew it was about to fall or where it was, you didn’t know. Matt set the glass back on the table, and turned his head to your direction. He sensed the slight pick up in your heart beat.

“Does that somewhat answer your question?” he asked, quirking up an eyebrow. 

“Somewhat.”

Matt leaned forward on the table with his elbows, you doing the same. His voice came out as a whisper, soft and gentle, only for you to hear. 

“Have you heard of Daredevil?” he asked. 

“You mean the the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen?” you countered. 

Matt pursed his lips, and hung his head a bit before raising it to meet you. 

“Yeah,” he said, sounding a bit defeated. “The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.”

“I heard of him,” you pondered. “Don’t know much about him, except he protects the city.” 

Matt gave off a soft laugh. 

“There is a bit more that he does,” Matt said. “Like how he goes on dates with sexy nurses.” 

You let out a breath, and looked away. Was he really telling you that he’s Daredevil? On the first date? Wow, he must be Daredevil because telling you his “night job” is a ballsy move. 

“So...” you began, turning your attention back on the vigilante in front of you. “Are you implying that you’ve been on more dates with sexy nurses.” 

Matt smiled, and leaned back in his chair. You noticed the way the tension left his shoulders slightly. He continued to face towards you. 

“Kind of,” he said. ‘So you’re not bothered by my ‘other job?’” 

You laughed, taking your forearms off the table. 

“I work with super humans, people that have tech, and martial artists,” you said, shrugging a bit. “At this point another person coming out as a hero is no surprise to me.”  

“Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to say hero,” Matt pondered. 

“In my book you are,” you stated flatly yet sincerely. 

Matt opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted with the waiter bringing the check. Matt reached out for it, but you placed your hand on his. 

“I can pay,” you insisted. 

You hated owing people, and you certainly didn’t want to owe the Devil of Hell’s kitchen. You still owe Sam a favor from two months ago when he bought you lunch. With Sam, that favor could be anything. 

“No,” Matt persisted. “I’m the lawyer let me pay.”

“I’m the nurse. I’m capable of paying.” 

“I think not,” Matt said, scrunching his face up in an amused look. “Your purse isn’t next to you.” 

“What?” you asked. You looked next to your seat, and noticed that the purse you brought wasn’t there. You looked around the table and under your seat, but it wasn’t there. By the time you reemerged from underneath the table, in time for the waiter to come and pick up the bill with Matt’s money. After he left, Matt passed you your purse over the table. “You asshole! How did you get it?”

Matt raised up his cane for you to see, as you rolled your eyes. 

“Perks of being blind,” he chided. “I’ll let you pay for the expensive ones.”

“A true gentleman,” you teased him, but let it go (for the time being). 

“So you agree then?” Matt asked, fiddling with the silverware a bit. “To future dates?”

You bit your lip in excitement, and Matt noted the little skip your heart made. He wanted to go on future dates with you! You nodded you head, but mentally kicked yourself because he was blind (even though he sensed your movement). 

“I would love that,” you replied, a smile spreading across your face. 

Throughout the rest of the night you couldn’t stop smiling. You smiled all the way to your car, throughout the ride home, and even through your dreams. 

Throughout the walk to work, Matt couldn’t stop thinking of you. Between cases and stopping crime, his life was pretty dull. It wasn’t until he met Natasha that he considered to get back into the dating game. When she told him about you, Matt was interested from the start. 

Of course he was more interested in how you were a nurse, someone to have as an ally, but now he was thinking of you as something more. 

Entering into Nelson and Murdock, Foggy emerged from his office and followed Matt into his. 

“Was she hot? Was she sexy like your friend said? Did you sleep with her?” Foggy badgered Matt with questions, as he took stuff out of his bag. 

“How am I supposed to know what she looks like, Foggy?” Matt said. “But she was beautiful. With her words, her voice, her intelligence, and witty remarks-”

“But did you sleep with her?”

“No,” Matt said. “I felt that this is special. I don’t want to rush it. I kind of see myself with her, Foggy.”

“You can’t see anything, Matt,” Foggy chided. 

Matt rolled his eyes, but continued to unpack. Matt sensed Foggy moving around the room to settle himself in a chair, but then Matt heard the distinct knock that belonged to Karen. 

“Come in Karen,” Matt answered, and sat in his chair. 

Karen walked in, holding something in both hands. 

“Matt,” she began, making her way to his desk. “This is for you. Some woman came in, saying this is for you.” 

The heavenly scent filled up the room along with Matt’s nostrils. He hummed in content as he searched through the bag pulling out his favorite meal. While feeling around, his fingers landed on a slip of paper with indentations and rises of dots. Braille. It wasn’t everyday that he received a message written in braille. He ran his fingers over the lines, and smiled to himself. 

“What’s it say?” Foggy questioned as Karen leaned over the side of the desk to get a peak. 

“It’s from Y/N,” Matt said fondly, loving the way your name ran off his tongue so smoothly. “ ‘Payback from last night. Can’t wait to see you again. P.S. You better appreciate this note. You don’t know how hard it is to punch in braille for the first time.’“ 

Matt laughed softly, and shook his head as he held the note in both hands. 

“Wow,” Foggy said. “She sure is something.”

“No, Foggy,” Matt said, contradicting his friend. “She’s everything.” 

[oppressiveliberator]

quick question why is your muse so hot?

((That's entirely at your discretion, my friend.

I don’t know what you see in him yourself, but I understand seeing something in him 👌🏾

I mean Aesthetically he’s just a really pretty dude like.  His design notes say that he and N look alike.  N is pretty, too.  They’re both real pretty.  His body isn’t so much in the best condition, though I don’t go into much detail about that as I’d like to--it isn’t in the ‘beauty standard’ kind of appealingness(except kinda pre-BW2 and in RR) but that certainly doesn’t make him less attractive necessarily.

I also like to think that something that’s appealing about my muse is like. . .I guess I try and include a bit more realism in him?  Like, I could make him fictional character hottie kind of level but that’s. . .not usually how people are. . .especially not people in his condition and most people at his age.  The man looks tired and kinda sickly and just in general I like to think he looks like a somewhat real human being lol but even despite that Ghetsis is Ghetsis and he’s Overconfident and Proud and that’s appealing.  He gives a feeling of having control.  He shows this stuff in his behavior and expressions and manner of speech--so even when it’s in question he’s. . .still got enough fuckin ballsiness to walk through it.

Uh character wise there’s that confidence and pride and controlling demeanor--he plays himself up as not being as bad as he is, but he’s also shameless and open and direct.  Which also makes him playful and flirtatious--he’s out for his own benefit and while he may not care much if you suffer in the proccess he won’t always act like that; he may even try and comfort you.  He may let you know just how worthless you are in comparison, but he plays up how valuable his attention is, so you feel like ‘well, he says that but he’s paying attention to me anyway’--and especially when he gives the implication of ‘you aren’t valuable but I’ll let you do something important in service to me,’ again, it gives you a feeling of importance.

He’s violent and cruel and ruthless--but also intelligent and kind of nice/friendly and has a hell of a way with words.  So maybe you get this feeling of ‘but maybe he could be good for me; if he’s able to so skillfully feign kindness he must be able to actually be good.’  Or his controlling, confident mindset and behavior gives a sort of feeling of. . .simplicity?  Peace?  He’ll tell you what to do.  You don’t have to worry about who or what you are or do anymore because he’ll take care of it for you.  No more stresses because you just have to play your role, right?

. . . . . .What I’m saying is that he’s probably attractive because Ghetsis is basically a master negger, and while that’s disgusting and annoying and unappealing in real people, it’s much more appealing in fictional characters because it’s a mindset and behavior and character that can be explored and indulged in without the consequence of reality.  While in reality somebody who tells you ‘you’re worthless but you’ll serve me well enough’ is somebody you’d like to punch in the internal organs, a character with that kind of arrogance seems powerful and interesting rather than being, like, gross and pathetic.

. . .Or something like that.  Or nothing like that!  It could be anything lmao but I agree that he’s pretty great one way or another.

. . .like you almost definitely weren’t looking for a serious answer to that question but 👉🏾👉🏾 THERE YA GO ANYWAY, YOU TELL ME WHY YOU FIND HIM HOT))

[pointreyesjournal]

Hurling Toward Certain Death : ep94

After suffering the indignity of the hospital staff insisting on wheeling me out to my car in a wheelchair, we’re on the road toward Jordan. The Tech Titan lives in a world colored by wealth, so he’s sent his assistant (one of his assistants?) to my house to fetch my Chevy Tahoe and drive it through the night directly to Montana. So, rather than being cooped up in a shitty rental car, we’re rolling in style. Plus, now we can drive the four of us home without the hassle of a one-way rental.

As Jordan nears, my anxiety level goes through the roof. My heart feels like it’s going to pound right out of my chest. I’m 24 hours out of a coma and the fear of running into the bikers again has me feeling most of the side effects of the pentobarbital ... namely anxiety.

Me: Okay guys, Jordan is a tiny town. It’s got one main street a couple of blocks long with a few businesses, and about four blocks of houses on either side.

The Tech Titan follows my directions through town and two blocks off of the main street, the pavement ends. The majority of this little gnat’s ass of a town is on dirt roads. The AirTag's signal appears to be coming from a detached garage. We circle the block to confirm the triangulation.

Me: That one. The bike is definitely in there.

Flood: You sure?

Me: Positive.

I show him the iPhone.

Flood: Yeah, it’s there.

The Tech Titan: It’s broad daylight guys. How do we do this?

Flood: We wait ‘till dark and break in.

Me: That’s ballsy as fuck amigo.

The Assistant: I'm not employed to do robberies.

The Tech Titan: Shut up! You're employed to assist me, and right now we're planning a heist. So now that's your job.

The adrenaline is really kicking in now. Are we really planning a smash and grab heist in a tiny town? We’ll be lucky to not get our asses shot off.

The Tech Titan: Too risky in broad daylight. Let’s collect your camera bag first.

The Assistant: Thank God. Where’s the camera bag?

Me: Let me look at the iPhone … It looks like it’s still at Hell Creek Bar.

The Tech Titan: Okay, guide me there and let’s find it.

We drive the three blocks until the bar comes into view. Out front, there are four Harleys. My blood runs cold.

Me: Guys! Guys! Guys! Stop the car. Those look like their Harleys.

Flood: They must be locals.

Me: Which means the barman must have been in on the attack. Mother fucker.

The Tech Titan: There is one bit of good news … If they’re at the bar, they’re not at the garage. Guys, you know what? I have a plan.

Flood: Care to elaborate?

The Tech Titan (looking at me and ignoring Flood’s question): Are you well enough to drive? Not a long distance, but just enough to get us out of here in a hurry if needed?

Me: Sure. I think so. It’s an automatic transmission. I’ve got one good arm.

“Okay” the Tech Titan replies and he drives us around the corner and out of sight from the bar so we can swap seats. I take the wheel, Floody in the front passenger seat, his assistant in the back seat.

The Tech Titan: What do these assholes look like?

Me: One guy looks like a skinny pimp with a Jesus tattoo. If he’s there, it’s them.

The Tech Titan: Okay. Skinny pimp, Jesus Tattoo. Drive around back of this Hell Creek Bar and stay out of sight. Leave the motor running.

Before we can stop him, The Tech Titan hops out, darts across the street and confidently walks right into the Hell Creek Bar alone. This dude is fucking crazy.

I drive the car around back, and Flood and I sit on pins and needles waiting for The Tech Titan to come out alive.

The Assistant: He's going to die, and I'm going to be out of a job.

Flood and I simultaneously: Seriously, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

[geminimoonbeamx]

In the Land of Gods and Monsters: Part Two

A/N: So I’ve been doing my research, and for the last few days I’ve been doing nothing but binging on mob material. From Donnie Brasco to Mob Wives to a shit ton of documentaries. I really want this story to somehow…embody? That feel. That glamorous, dangerous feel. I’m aiming for you to feel like you’re listening to a Lana Del Rey song when you read this. Which is why at the beginning of every chapter I’m going to be posting a song lyric of hers- set the mood, ya feel?

Word Count: 6k+ you guys know I’m a sucker for these long ass chapters.

Warnings: As with all of my stories there’s a permanent warning of cursing. I have a mouth like a sailor and express myself through the word fuck. Drug Use, Sexual Tension and Pining are all you’ve gotta’ worry about for this chapter. Pretty SFW, no juicy stuff…YET.

Summary: You knew what you were getting yourself into when you met Bucky Barnes. He was a known wise guy. A feared mobster. Everyone in the neighborhood knew his name. Funny, in retrospect, you think that might have been why you couldn’t help but be drawn in like a moth to a flame. This first and foremost, is a love story. Blood stained and littered with bullet holes, but the story of how you fell in love with the man none the less. Mobster!BuckyxPlus Size Reader

Swinging in the back yard, pull up in your fast car, whistling my name. Open up a beer, and you say get over here and play a video game- Lana Del Rey

-Past-

It’s that pretty time of year in New York, your favorite time. The small window where the last tendrils of spring spillover across the beginnings of summer, where the heat hasn’t completely taken over but the sunshine warmed up the city from the inside out. It was also, the most wonderful time of the fucking year, in your humble opinion, because you were nearly out of school for summer break. Funny, in your early twenties and still counting own the days til’ the last day of school. College really was a ball buster.

Only a few more months, you repeated it to yourself like a prayer- like some kind of moral boost. You were set to graduate in December with your Bachelor’s.

Wanda had made it a habit lately, due to the nice weather, to come and pick you up from school. She’d have a pre-rolled waiting, and the two of you would stop and get something to eat on your way back home.

Today it was bagels, you munch happily, and highly on the last of the cream cheese, salmon and tomato bagel as the two of you walk down the city street. Wanda’s beside you, walking tall as always- and it’s not even the fact that she literally is tall. Runway model tall- accentuated with the heels she has on her feet- but its just the way that she holds herself. Even in her t-shirt and leather leggings; you’d be able to tell from a mile a way that this girl was someone, just by the confident jut of her chin.

The two of you babble about little things- not innocent things though.

About the fact that Pietro had come home with a nasty shiner the night before.

“He’s going to get himself killed” She hisses, distress and annoyance lacing her tone “I don’t know why he cant just get his pussy outside the families. Idiot has some kind'a death wish”

Wanda was ranting about how Pietro had been dipping(quite literally) into the mob pool of women lately. According to her that was the stupidest thing he could do- daughters, sisters, wives; that was an easy way to get yourself killed. Mess with the wrong mans woman, phew, you better watch out. Pietro never did watch out for shit, though. You thought it was almost…fascinating, watching the way the man navigated the world. Not looking at his surroundings as he buzzed through them.

Obviously, you spent a shit ton of time at Wanda’s house. Why wouldn’t you? The you opted to hang out at her mansion of a home instead of your apartment most of the time- even though Wanda was more then willing to go help your Grandma Viv in the Bodega she owned below it. You’d much rather sunbathe on one of her many balconies instead.

After being granted access through the iron wrought gates, and walking up the drive way that you teased was a fucking city block; you notice the unfamiliar cars that are parked in front of her house. Luxurious sports cars- not something the milkman drove. She must notice your staring, because she answers you before you can ask-

“My dad’s got some company over”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah” She waggles her eyebrows then in a way that makes you half frown, half smile “Tony’s here, and guess who’s with him”-

Your stomach does a little flip flop at the possibility- at the probability because that gleaming look in Wanda’s eye told you everything. You’d relayed to her the little time you’d spent with Bucky Barnes at the Social Club a couple weeks ago and she’d just laughed and told you to watch your shit. That many a woman had fallen victim that pretty eyed spell he was tryin’ to lure you under . You’d scoffed and rolled your eyes, indignantly. You weren’t falling for shit.

“Uh-huh, Y/N” Wanda had sing songed “You tell yourself that, babe- but he asked Pietro about you at a sit down the other day. ”

-“Who?” You play innocent, dumb.

“Bucky” She whispers like a schoolgirl, bumping your shoulder with hers and you shove her away playfully, laughing at her antics.

“Oh, my god, you’re such a fuckin’ child”

You loved Wanda like this, though. When she opened up, her playful child like side that she concealed with dark clothes and scowls was your absolute favorite. So as you’re walking up the steps to her frond door, her arm is slung across your shoulders and you’re giggling into her cheek, elbowing her ribs softly.

“Hello girls- you look like you’re having fun. Care to share what’s got you both so- giggly? Not that I don’t enjoy it- you know I dig the whole Lolita thing”

Tony Stark, you’re learning, even though you’ve only met him once- is dramatic. From the insanely expensive tailored maroon suit that he wears, to his sharp goatee, he was like some sort of Gatsby. Some sort of established, flamboyant character that had walked off of the pages of a book.

“I’m sure you do. Innocent little girls your thing, Tony?” Wanda shoots at him, grinning and you purse your lips to hide a smile.

She’d explained to you that she liked flirting with Tony because it rattled her dad’s cage- nothing had ever happened, but she wouldn’t really mind if it did.

You’d told her in return that she had a nasty case of ‘daddy issues-itus’ and needed to make sure that thousand dollar an hour shrink of hers helped sort it out.

“C'mon, friends make secrets, secrets don’t make friends”

“Why don’t you stop harassing them- God, I leave you alone for five minutes”

Just then, a red headed woman that you’d never seen before, because fuck, you would have definitely remembered her, turns the corner into the foyer. She was gorgeous, in her body tight pencil skirt and heels. She held her chin high- kind of the same way Wanda did and you just knew that she was somebody, important. The Givenchy on her arm only adding to that notion.

Bucky, as Wanda had promised, is there too. Next to the red-head, and your eyes meet for just a moment. You flash him a quick, small smile before adverting your stare. You can feel he hasn’t done the same- feel his eyes on your face.

Wanda and the woman share a small smile and nod.

“Y/N, this is Natasha Romanoff. Natasha- Y/N” she introduces the two of you and you shake the woman’s hand pleasantly. You don’t mean to, but you cant help but just…look at her.

Was it like some kind of unspoken rule that you had to be gorgeous to be apart of this world(underworld?)

“And Bucky-”

“We’ve already met” Bucky grins at you, interrupting your friend and you try to keep your face as neutral as you can “Good to see you again, Y/N”

“You too” You feel…very underdressed around these people. You had on a fairly cute outfit, but it paled in comparison to Bucky’s crisp black blazer. The dress shirt he wore underneath was open, showing the top of his chest and the small peppering of dark hair at the start there.

“I heard I missed a hell of a get together” Natasha grins, knowingly, at the two of you. In a way that’s almost scary.

“You didn’t really, nothing special” Tony, obliviously rolls his eyes “Happy took twelve tequila shots and didn’t black out, that was probably the most interesting part of the night”

Erik walks in then, looking like Hugh Hefner himself in a robe and loafers, Raven trailing behind him, and asks why everyone’s clogging’ up his doorway.

“Girls- I didn’t know you were home. I made lunch if you-” Raven rambles as she steps forward.

“We already ate” Wanda doesn’t snap it really, no. Snapping requires some kind of, emotion? And she’s nothing but cold to that woman.

“Sorry, old man” Tony teases good naturedly as he puts a hand on Erik’s shoulder and shakes his hand once more “We we’re just leaving when we ran into your daughter. Prettier every day, this one gets”

Ballsy, you note again. -“just like her mother”

“I know, and you know I’d cut the hands off of anyone that touched her”

Ha, ha, ha. Everyone laughs, but you know it’s not a joke. And so does Tony.

They all pay their respects then, Tony and his crew going to exit out of the door and you following Wanda and her father towards the kitchen-

Your pulled to a stand still by a long fingered grip on your forearm. One that startles the shit out of you, and makes gooseflesh break out where his skin touches yours as you lift your head and meet his eyes.

“I wasn’t lyin’ when I said it was good to see you again” Bucky says lowly, languidly.

His voice just a sinful as you remembered. Fattening and silk smooth.

“That so?” You quip, fuck, you even don’t know how. Your heart is jumping, leaping, and he still hasn’t let go of his light grip on your arm. Your eyes flash, scanning behind you, almost scared to get caught by Wanda or her father. That they might come back round the corner. Being alone with him feels so much more intimate then it really is.

“It is…we shouldn’t wait such a long time before seeing each other again”

“Bucky” You laugh “It’s been two weeks”

“Yeah” He grins down at you “Like I said, long time. Too long, if you ask me”

Fuck…pretty eyed spell? Yeah, that shit was real. Your head feels airy, maybe it’s because how hard your heart is pounding. Oh god, you were going to have a heart attack or something.

“So what exactly is it that you’re asking me?” you manage.

“Let me get your number?” Your eyebrow quirks at that, at the almost pleading edge in his voice “Let me take you out? I’ve been thinkin’ bout'cha, doll”

His tone drops then, drips with electricity “You been thinking about me too?” he all but whispers and you bite your bottom lip in some kind of attempt to keep yourself in your body. Fuck man, you don’t know if anyone had eve had this kind of affect on you.

“And if I said no?” You challenge, weakly, but still. He chuckles low, his eyes blazing. Like you’d ignited something in them- a part of you, the one that screamed for your self preservation almost wished you could put it out.

“I’d know you were lyin…”

“You’re very sure of yourself, Mr. Barnes”

“-Well maybe, but mostly I’m sure of the fact that I would show you the best time of your life. Take you somewhere you deserved”

“You don’t know me. How do you know what I deserve?” You point out, trying(but not really) to pull yourself away from him. Something about him ant the way he was with you made you want to…make him chase you. Made your hummingbird heart want to play.

Your eyes say it all.

“I want to know you” It’s such a simple statement, but it’s so…honest. The truth of it rings around the hot bubble the two of you have seemed to create for yourselves.

Who were you, to say no to something like that?

“Do you have a pen?”

“Nah-but I’ve got a great memory” He grins and you cant help but shake your head. This man…

He leaves the house with your number and your peace of mind.

It takes him four days to call you, 96 grueling hours where you’ve completely convinced yourself that he’s not going to.

How stupid could you fuckin’ be, you internally berate yourself. Thinking that a man like him- ugh. It had been a bad idea anyway. Him and his gunmetal eyes and his jawline that almost made you salivate-

“Y/N!”

You’re broken out of your mind by your Grandma who gives you a pointed look “Those cereal boxes aint going to shelf them selves”

You sigh and give her a “Sorry Grams” before getting back to the task at hand. Your Grandma Viv might have been elderly, but she was honestly the spunkiest, most alive person you’d ever met. She kept her long, silver hair pinned up and her cat framed glasses covered her defined eyes. She was always dressed in shawls and capes, in fabric that danced behind her. But even with her bohemian vibe, everyone knew she wasn’t one to be fucked with. It’s why she had had this place, this bodega(corner store) for the past twenty years. An organic bodega? In the hood? Everyone had laughed, but she’d proved them all wrong, and it had become a sort of staple of the neighborhood.

Needed fresh produce? Go to Vivs. Healthy ingredients or fresh flowers or quinoa(because that was all the rage right now) that wouldn’t break your bank like Whole Foods would? Go to Vivs.

She loved her shop, was so proud of it- but she also wasn’t getting any younger. And when her partner died a few years back(god rest her soul), you’d moved back in with her to help take care of things. You told her you were only there to help with the store, but really, you wanted to keep an eye on her too. You knew all those years of organic eating and tea cleanses and marijuana had done her good, but still. You worried about her- a fact that would always make her laugh.

“You’re the kid, little bird. I’m supposed'ta be worrying about you!”

You’re signing a clipboard, chatting with a delivery boy an hour or so later when your ringtone chirps from your back pocket.

“Yeah, you can just go line them up against the back wall, thanks” You finish up quick with him before pulling it out and looking at the number. It’s unknown, foreign and you try not to get excited as you answer it. It could be anybody- a bill collecter maybe? Your cousin who could seem to keep that same number for more then a week for the life of him-

“Hello?”

“Hi, doll”

None of the above. The voice belonged to Bucky- who you’d convinced yourself wasn’t going to call.

“-It’s Bucky” He verifies after it takes a beat for you to reply.

“I figured” You don’t mean to be bitchy, but you’d really thought he wasn’t going to contact you and that shit had stung.

“What are you doing, pretty girl?”

“Working” you deadpan back, trying to smother the butterflies that came with his “pretty girl”

“Yeah?”

“Yup”

“What are you doing tomorrow night? And don’t say working because I simply wont accept that”

You cant help but let out a sound that’s halfway between a snort and a laugh. His forwardness could easily be mistaken for assholy-ness, if not for that voice of his.

“As of the moment, I’m not sure yet. Why?”

“I want to take you out”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I do. Somewhere real nice”

You sigh dramatically “I don’t knowwww”

“What don’t you know? The only thing you’ve gotta figure out is what you’re wearing tomorrow night, let me take care of everything else” His voice is a pull, an invisible rope that he’d lassoed you with- a noose, your dark humor thought.

“I don’t know…” You repeated again, even though you do. You really fucking do. You’re totally aware, that you were one hundred percent going to agree…but you had to make him beg, just a little bit. Didn’t you?

He shouldn’t have made you wait.

He groans, playfully into the receiver “C'mon, doll face. Don’t give me a hard time. I want to see ya’, don’t you want to see me?”

You hold the phone between your shoulder and ear as you arrange the banana’s, gnawing on your bottom lip. You did want to see him. So badly- these four days waiting had been shit-

“I might want to see you, a little bit” You admit ruefully and he chuckles.

“Good. Now, what time would work best for ya’?”

And just like that, you were agreeing to a date with Bucky Barnes. When you’d hung up with him, and immediately dialed Wanda, she’d snorted and told you that she “Fuckin’ told you so” and gave you a few more warnings before asking you what you were planning on wearing.

That is how a natural disaster struck your bedroom room. No, but really, it looked like a tornado had passed through the room the next night as you tore your closet apart, eagerly searching for something to wear. You liked to think your were a fashionable person; your size had never smothered your love for clothes or your personal style, but god almighty, it was like you had nothing to wear.

You’d already changed multiple times and stood in the middle of the chaos in just your lacy bra and high wasted shapewear, pinching your nose, reminding yourself to breathe.

All Bucky had said was dress up nice. He hadn’t told you where he’d been taking you, nothin’. Did he mean like floor length gown nice or jeans and a pair of stilettos nice? Fuck.

After all your strife, you end up in a fawn colored leather skirt and top duo- figuring that if he meant wear a damn ball gown he would have said so. Your hair falls over your shoulders, styled and smelling good and you’d taken care with your make up. All in all, you thought you looked pretty damn good as you dab at your lipstick in the mirror.

You get the itch- one that has to be scratched. A need of a high to calm your nerves, and you decide for a couple puffs on an old joint instead of the coke that you kept in your jewelry box.

You, as per usual, were late and you scrambled to throw on a pair of pumps, a spritz of perfume and grab your handbag as you whirl winded out of the room.

“You have fun tonight, little bird” Your Grandma Viv calls after you and you grin, trying not to feel guilty and kiss her on the head as you pass her in the living room on your way out. She thought you were going out to a nice dinner with some friends from school to celebrate the end of the semester…she’d have a coronary if she knew what you were really doing.

Grandma Viv was, at heart, still a true flower child. Sometimes you teased that she was still on that acid trip from Woodstock. She hated violence, and she despised gangs and the mafia. “They take little boys and promise them a family, and make them into killers”

She loved Wanda, only because she didn’t know her last name. “That girls gotta’ deadly pair of stems on her- what’s her obsession with coverin’ up her knees?”

If she even saw Bucky, and his car and his suits, oh she’d lose it. That’s why you’d asked him to park down the block. Yes, you were a grown woman who shouldn’t have to sneak around like some high schooler- but your Grandma’s health mattered to you, and you weren’t about to burry her because she’d gotten a load of you with a made man and dropped dead.

It’s a pretty night, mild and clear and your heels make clacking sounds on the pavement as you walk, your eyes eagerly searching the street for him-

You don’t have to look far. About halfway down the asphalt, you see him. He’s leaning against his parked car, a burning cigarette hanging lazily between his loose fingers. He looks like a sin, with his dark suit jacket and his patterned dress shirt that once again he wears with the top button popped, revealing a gold chain that you suspected costed the entirety of your monthly rent. He perks up when he sees you coming, the side of his mouth pulling into a grin and his eyes sparkling in the light from the street lamp.

“Look at'chu” He grins when you’re in ear shot and even though you try to bite on your smile it beams. “You look real beautiful tonight, doll”

“You don’t look so bad yourself”

He chuckles and flicks out his cig, stepping on it before ushering you over and into the car. He does it all gentleman like, opening the door, his hand on your lower back as he makes sure your comfortable before shutting it. His car is nice, of course. It somehow manages to look vintage and updated all at once, you run a finger along the fine leather seats as he drives.

He takes you a ways from Brooklyn, all the way to Manhattan, claiming that the lobster at the place you we’re going to was worth the commute through traffic.

“You do like seafood, don’t you? Fuck, I should'a probably asked-” He frets a little bit and it’s almost odd seeing the brick house of a man looking so unsure.

“I love seafood, don’t worry” You try to keep the laugh out of your voice “I mean I’m allergic to shellfish, but-”

“Oh shit”

You bust out laughing hard at the sullen look on his face, at the way he’d paled “I’m kidding, I’m kidding!”

He makes a squawk at that, giving you a jesting glare “You’re not very nice, ya’ know”

“I never said I was” You manage between cracking up, wiping at the corner of your eyes to assure that your makeup didn’t smear due to the tears that had collected there.

“I guess I just assumed”

“Well you know what they say about assuming” You shrug one shoulder, but give him a sweet smile. That makes him bark out his own laugh, shaking his head at your antics.

“So are there any allergies I should know about? Real ones? Just for future reference” He makes conversation and you cant help that flip flop, flutter feeling in your chest. Future reference. You hadn’t even made it to your first date yet, and here he was. Making plans for the future. Were you freaked out or flattered? Both.

“Well unless your going to try and slip me a Trazadone, I think were good”

He chuckles again “No sleeping pills, got it”

The restaurant he takes you to is gorgeous, high scale. A few blocks away from Central Park. A Valet meets you at the curb and takes Bucky’s car as you walk to the entrance of the establishment.

It’s busy, obviously very in demand and your eyes don’t know where to focus. When someone almost bumps into you and you have do this shuffling act on your heels, Bucky’s hand goes to your waist, pulling you in closer to him.

“Reservation’s under?” The hostess asks, but you can barley hear her.

Truth be told, you’d never had a man treat you like this. The protective way that he held you was new and exhilarating.

“Barnes” He drawls and with that, the two of you are seated pretty damn fast. His large, leather glove covered palm doesn’t leave your curvy waist until you’re sat at the table. He takes his seat only after you’ve taken yours.

You cant stop looking around- it’s absolutely beautiful in here. From the chandeliers to the mod decoration. You’d been to some high end restaurants with Wanda and her family in the past few months but none had been as aesthetically pleasing as this. The waiter drops off your menu’s and you don’t recall having ever been attended to so fast before.

“You like it?” Bucky notices your eyes and you snap them back to his, a little sheepish at being caught ogling.

“I do, it’s gorgeous” You nod, picking up the menu. “You bring all the other girls here?” You tease, your eyes on the print and not on him.

“What other girls?” He asks, teasingly outraged and you scoff and roll your eyes.

“C'mon Bucky” You urge, just meeting his eyes about the edge of the menu. His are blazing, yours are kitten like “You think I’m not aware of your…reputation?”

He chews on that. Little do you know, no other woman had ever called him out like that, so boldly. On the first date none the less.

“We’ve all got a past, doll. I’m sure you’ve left a string of broken hearts behind ya’” He searches for the words, and jeeze, he’s so good with them.

You shake your head with a tut of your tongue “Not really”

“Now I call bullshit on that” Bucky leans forward and you have the urge to hide behind the menu, so you do. “You’re too beautiful. I’m sure there’s a dozen guys who hate even hearin’ your name cause you fucked em’ up so bad”

Had you ever been complimented so much? Most people assume bigger girls never get any attention, but that was never the case for you. You’d had boyfriends, flings. You’d always been “pretty enough”.

But Bucky looks at you like you’re the sun from the very start.

“Flatterer” You accuse, and he just bets if you’d lower that menu he’d see that pretty blush creeping up your neck…

“It’s all the truth, baby”

The waiter decides to take pity on your soul then and comes back to the table. Bucky orders a bottle of wine that just sounds like it costs fuck load.

“I hope you like red”

“I do” You smile.

He orders the lobster with herb butter and filet migon plate and you a seafood sampler plate. It’s all ridiculously decadent, the lobster just as buttery and rich as he’d promised and the two of you eat and drink until you feel like you’re going to bust a seam in your spanx. It’s fun, it’s easy.

Bucky seems to like your teasing, he isn’t rubbed the wrong way by it like some people were.

You talk, try to get to know him, even though every question that comes out of his mouth is centered on you. You tell him about school, that you’re majoring in “political economics” and he grins and asks what that’s like. He asks about your “job” and you relay stories about the bodega, which then turn into stories about your childhood, which then turn into stories about everything.

The two of you spend hours, at the table. Talking and digesting.

“You and Wanda are close” He notes and you nod.

“Yeah, I love her” You say simply because it’s the truth “She’s a good friend”

“And her brother? You close with him too?” He has that same look in his eyes that he’d had back at the bar the night that Pietro had interrupted you. It makes you shiver a little.

“You could say that. I mean there’s no Wanda without Pietro, is there?” You know you hadn’t answered his unasked question, but that was your intention. For one, even if you had, had a thing with Pietro(which fuck, you never would. You liked living your life STD free, thank you very much) it was none of his business. And two, maybe you liked that way he was looking at you.

Maybe you liked the idea of him getting jealous, no matter how dangerous you knew that might be.

“That’s right, it’s been that way since they we’re kids. Always the two of 'em” Bucky tells you a story of how they’d always been at their fathers feet during “meetings” as he called them.

“How old are you, exactly? I never asked?”

He chuckles “You scared I’m a geezer?”

“No, I’ve never had an issue with older men” Where the heeeeelllll did that come from. He brought out some hyper flirty side of you and you were going to need to watch your mouth(that already tended to get you into trouble) with him.

His eyes flash from yours to your lips and back up, his pupils flickering before he answers “I’m thirty two”

You cluck your tongue and scoff “And you’re over here acting like you’re soooo much older then us. You’re not even ten years older then me, Bucky”

“Nine years is nine years. You’re like a baby to me, huh?” He gives you a cat that ate the canary grin “Baby girl”

You could scream. Baby girl, coming out of his mouth it sounded like the dirtiest praise you’d ever received. You just shrugged and adverted your eyes, and hell, Bucky loved that little blush he watched blossom from the collar of your top up.

You decide not to get a dessert, claiming that you didn’t need chocolate and shrimp doing the tango in your stomach and he agrees and instead asks for the check. When it comes, you cant help but be curious at the amount. You could bet it was a pretty penny.

“Should I even ask?”

“No, doll. It’s none of your concern” He gives you an easy grin as he signs his signature and gives the man his card.

“That expensive?”

He shrugs “Completely worth it”, he’s happy to have earned that blush again.

After exiting the restaurant, back into the gorgeous weather, it hits you- just how much you don’t want this night to end. Dinner was over, and you honestly had no intention of letting him take you back to his place, at least not tonight…but you don’t want to go home. Not just yet.

“Let’s take a walk?” You suggest, even though your feet would probably hate you in the morning “Were right next to Central Park”

You think it’s the puppy dog eyes you make up at him that ensures his “I’m game”

It’s nice, just walking beside him. Having him so close you could feel the sparks of his body next to yours, and yet the two of you didn’t touch. You refrained from grabbing his hand so many times. He slows him self, his long legged strides to match your shorter legged, heeled ones.

“You grow up in the neighborhood?” You decide its time for him to answer a few of your questions, the ones that had been gnawing at you.

“I did. Brooklyn born and raised”

“Never wanted to do any traveling?”

“I spent enough time away when I was younger. I ,uh, I enlisted when I was eighteen” He reveals and you look over.

“Yeah? The army?”

“Yeah. I was stationed in Iraq for a few years til’ there was an accident” He holds up his gloved hand, but doesn’t elaborate and you’re not about to push. “I’m glad to be home, I love this city, ya’ know? Once you come to New York you never want to leave. It’s magic”

You giggle at the sincerity in his voice “I wouldn’t call it magic, but it’s got it’s charms”

“Everyone I love is in this city”

“Are you close with your parents?”

“Not as much…any more” Again, he only half answers “You? I know you live with your Grandma but what about your ma’ and dad?”

“Um, kind of? My mom lives in Arizona, but my dad’s just- not in the picture”

He nods and doesn’t press you about your answers either. You appreciate it. You don’t want to kill the vibe with all of this family drama.

He reaches in to his pocket to pull of the box of cancer sticks and pulls one out, lighting it up easily. He offers you one but you shake your head.

“The make me jittery” You explain and he chuckles as he takes a drag, a glint of gold showing from under his sleeve.

“That’s a nice watch you’ve got there, Sir” You point out, impressed “What is that, a Rollex?”

Bucky smiles, softly. With a shrug, as though he’s embarrassed you��d noticed it “Thanks, it’s 'aight”

He dipped himself in gold, and yet seemed to shrug about it when someone noticed? What even was that? He just…sparked your curiosity, in a way no one else really have. You were so curious about this man, you wanted to know him.

'I want to know you’ his words ring in your head.

“It’s more then alright, Mr. Humble”

“Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues” He tells you all matter of factly and it almost stops you in your tracks.

“Did you just quote Confucius to me?”

He looks equally shocked, brow crooked as he stares back “I’m surprised you picked it up”

Right then, you decide he’s not the man you thought he was. Quoting philosophers and being humble about his obvious wealth? Yeah, not what you were expecting at all.

After a half an hour walk your feet are hollering in your pinchy heels and he decides it’s time he get’s you home. The car ride is peaceful, filled with a quiet you’d never personally experienced. When ever people talked about “comfortable quiets” you would laugh at them because there couldn’t be anything comfortable about there not being a flow of conversation…but this was. The radio played softly and the breeze through the open windows whipped your hair lightly, he’d reached over about half way through the drive, his in gloved hand sliding along your thigh until it found yours. You’d smiled and held it, getting acclimated with his long fingers, with his bony knuckles you could tell had been broken a time or two before and the rough callus’ that contrasted with your own plump, satiny skin.

When he pulls back into the exact parking spot he’d been in when he’d pick you up(which you think is rare, because if you’ve ever been in New York you know it’s some kinda’ voodoo to park in the same place twice) he looks over at you. He’d had to pull his hand away to park the car and yours feel empty…

“What are you thinkin’ about?” His voice is low, like he doesn’t want to break the cristiline bubble you two are in and you smile wistfully as you lean your head back against the rest, never taking you eyes off of his.

I don’t want this to ever end.

I don’t want to go inside.

The moment you drive away, I know I’m going to miss the hell out of you.

Those were just a few of the many thoughts that rushed through your mind.

“I had a really good time tonight” Is what you choose to tell him though.

“So did I- I’m hopin’ you’ll let me take you out again”

“I might be open to negotiation”

He just grins, with a slight shake of his head “You’re somethin’ else, doll, you know that?”

You bite your lips then, because fuck, when he swallows his Addams apple bobs in a way that’s almost hypnotic. The tensing of his pretty jaw is the most beautiful thing.

“Doll?”

“Uh-huh?” your distracted, you can barley reply.

“I really want to fuckin’ kiss you right now”

Your whole body tenses and you try to take a labored breath. When had the two of you leaned in so close to each other? When he says this, all you can do is watch the way his lips move as the form the words. You cant speak, not with all the tension in your body.

“Let me kiss you?” It’s a plea and you just nod as his forehead clunks against yours and his nose nudges your cheek. Your breathing in what he’s exhaling and he tastes so good already.

“Baby, can I kiss you?” he presses on, wanting to hear you affirm him. Not with a nod, but with your voice.

“Please” You all but whimper and then he’s pressing his plump lips to yours and its wet and sweet and your eyes flutter closed as you try to zero in on nothing but this feeling. But the smell of his spicy cologne and the way his hand comes up to cup your jaw, leaving you gripping at his arm for dear life.

Your hearts hummingbirding as you suck on his bottom lip, as his tongue licks into his mouth, as his hand on your jaw goes to grip your hair in an vain attempt to pull your mouths closer together.

What was supposed to be a first kiss becomes a first make out of sorts and when you pull away to suck in a ragged breath, to somehow regain control of yourself , you lean heavily back against the seat. Two sets of ragged panting fill the air of the car and your chest heaves as your lungs work for needed oxygen. You don’t see the way his dark eyes watch your breasts rise and fall, because yours are fixed in front of you, a bit unfocused honestly.

“That was um-” You try to string together words.

“Amazin’?” Bucky answers for you and you let out a little laugh that’s almost hysterical and nod before daring to look back over at him.

“Yeah, something like that”

The tension starts to build the moment your eyes meet again and you know if you don’t get out of that car you’re just going to start right back up again.

“I should go” It’s barley audible, and you really, really don’t want to even say it.

“Let me walk you to your door?” Bucky offers but you decline. Not wanting your grandmother to see him.

“No, that’s okay. It’s literally just right there”

He pouts a bit at that, but sighs “At least let me kiss you one more time?”

You giggle and shake your head “No, that’s not a good idea”

“Why? C'monnnn” He drags out and you want to reach over and squeeze this known mafia man’s cheek. He was just too fucking cute.

“No, Bucky. I have to go and I don’t know if I’ll be able to if we start kissing again” You argue, gathering your bag, ready to exit the car.

“What about one? Just one more?”

How can you say no to those eyes of his? So you lean back over, slowly…but just before your lips re-connect with his you jerk, pressing them to his cheek instead.

“Goodnight Bucky”

You hear his groans over your triumphant laughter as you exit the car, shutting the door behind you. Feeling like you’re walking on air.

His window rolls down quick, so that he can holler to you as you cross the street. “Goodnight, baby girl!”

You think about that magic he’d talked about in the city earlier as you make your way up stairs- you feel that when you’re around him.

INTRO

PART ONE

@buchonians @papi-chulo-bucky @geekyweed @kelly96q @missrobyn81 @iamwarrenspeace @docharleythegeekqueen @beccavesper @buckysforeverprincess @yslbucky @plumfondler @prettybubblesintheair @4theluvofall @huntressxtimelady @curiositywillbethedeathofmee @welcometothelordsden @jacks-on-krack @peacefulwriter88 @thejenniferincident

I’m crying as I write this because I want a Bucky of my own. Ugh. So usually in my stories I like myself a good ol’ slow burn, but not with this one. I want their love to be wild and passionate and all consuming from the start.

Also, I’m writing Y/N as a confident plus size woman because we exist lol we wear skirts and men think were pretty! Gasps, I know. Shocking.

Give me some feedback! What are you guys thinking of this so far? Yes? No? I love reading your comments, like litterally, even the shortest comment slays me. Please gimme- lol I’m like a fairy, I need attention to live.

If you’d like to be tagged for this series let me know in the comments!

[justjen523]

Teaching You A Lesson (Part 6)

 Zyglavis x MC

(Rating E 18+)

So sorry my dear ladies that it has taken this long to post! I did however try to write a longer chapter to make up for all of it. 

                       A Dangerous and Scintillating Wish

     “Wait, did you say “anything” I want?” You ask wide eyed and surprised. For Zyglavis to offer such a gift has you completely flabbergasted.

     “Anything that I am able to grant that is. I cannot break any laws of the Heaven’s nor am I a genie that will grant a wish for more wishes. That is the rabid Lion’s department, not mine.” His sexy smile and smoky eyes gaze down at you while his long, elegant (and extremely gifted) fingers glide gently through your hair spilled across his duvet. How you craved this touch of his. So gentle yet confident and comforting. You could spend forever under his touch. 

     It was hard to think of anything when he was looking down at you in a way that made your body instantly submissive. That’s when the idea came to you. It was definitely ballsy but if granted...oh my god. Your imagination starts to run wild and the darker the fantasy gets the redder your cheeks begin to glow. 

     “And just what is my darling girl dreaming up hmmm?” It was too late, after letting your fantasies get the best of you there was no way you couldn’t ask now. A devious smile stretches your lips as your pupil dilated eyes meet his.

     “My wish, I know what I want.”

     “Is that so? Then by all means, let me hear your desire little one.”

     “You.”

     “Me? But you already have me baby girl.”

     “Nm-Nm. Not like this. For twenty four hours I want YOU to belong to ME.” His eyebrow raises as his smile widens.

     “Oh? My you are awfully confident wishing to own and control a powerful god. And what pray tell do you intend to do with your new toy?” His posture shifts and he hovers over your body, his aura radiating intensely reminding you well of the vastness between the two of you. Suddenly you are reconsidering your wish when he leans in and whispers in your ear.

     “Very well. As I am not required for work tomorrow we can begin immediately if you so desire.” 

     “Y-Yes...I do!” You almost too eagerly accept overly excited at the endless possibilities before you. 

     “Alright then. What would you have me do my Mistress?” Oh boy now you’ve done it. Zyglavis, The Minister of Punishments himself is now on his knees before you obeying your every command for the next twenty four hours. Those were some big desires and you know you had better back it up with some bigger actions. 

     “Oh dear...don’t tell me you hadn’t thought this through. Are you sure you are up for this little girl?” His predatory smile quickly reminds you that you are in the realm of the gods right now. This is the big moment, either take the reigns or step down and obediently return to your master. You take a deep breath and center yourself, then you begin.

     “I don’t believe I gave you permission to speak let alone in such a displeasing way to your Mistress. We have only just begun and I already have to discipline you? Tsk Tsk, what a naughty boy you are Zyglavis.” You’re wicked smile and perfectly executed words have him back on his knees bowing before you. The excitement you noted in his eyes at your words let you know you definitely chose well when making your wish.

     “Seeing as I only own you for twenty four hours and it was your first offense I shall go easy on you. However, that being said, I want you to strip.” You snap your fingers pointing to where you wish for him to move and remove his clothing.

     “As you command my Mistress.” He obeys and does so elegantly making you wonder how to do the same in the future as you watch him begin to undress.

     “Mmm. Good boy, nice and slow. You are an exquisite gift and something this beautiful needs to be unwrapped slowly.” His eyes lock with yours and his naughty smile has the fire inside you raging wildly. He does exactly as he is instructed removing one article of clothing at a time very slowly and letting it glide off his skin like silk. Once he is completely nude before you your eyes can’t help but take in every inch of the truly heavenly sight before you.

     “Seven Hells Zyglavis. You...”

     “Is my Mistress pleased with what she sees?” Pleased? As fucking punch. This is what the perfect man looks like in every single possible way. You approach him and glide your hand over his toned arms and torso practically drooling. You have never seen a god fully naked before and now that you are you find yourself actually grateful. It’s almost too much for the human female brain to comprehend. 

     As you circle him slowly you make sure to cast to memory every single curve, angle and feel of this divine being before you. Your hands explore his entire body out of sheer curiosity and appreciation and you love how well behaved he is being allowing you to do whatever you wish to his glorious naked form. Once you have made your way back to stand directly before him your eyes meet and you smile at how much he appears to be enjoying this side of you.

     “Zyglavis....you are....seriously just utterly gorgeous. Perfect in every possible way.” His smile widens sweetly seemingly pleased by your words of approval.

     “I know we have a whole different vibe going here but this might be the only chance I ever have to tell you how I truly feel at the moment.” He subtly nods signaling for you to continue.

     “To be perfectly honest, I....” You trail off a moment as if you are looking for the right words. His eyes are still very kind as they search yours curiously. 

     “I’m...I’m so very sorry. This may sound silly but I never thought in a BILLION years I would....COULD ever see you as anything other than my enemy. But look at us now! I...I can’t believe I said such horrible things to you like that. It was such an ugly and immature way to interact with you and it was all because I was bitter about the past.” You’re eyes had fallen to the floor a while ago and they remain there as you reflect on what happened in the past. 

     “You never deserved that...no matter what may have happened in the past. I hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me.” A few moments of silence pass before you hear a response.

     “Is it important for you to have my forgiveness?” He asks gently still curious as to why you would wish for such a thing from him.

     “Y-Yes of course! I mean....I care about you. I....” You pause a moment before rolling your eyes and coming clean.

     “Oh who am I kidding?! Yes it’s important because Zyglavis, I love you. I...I’m IN love with you! And yes, I know gods and goldfish are never meant to be and you only see me as your plaything but....that’s okay. I-I’m happy just being near you. Even if you never love or care about me the same way I just want to spend the rest of my life near you serving you any way you desire.” Now that you’ve actually outwardly confessed your true feelings tears begin to spill from your eyes in relief and bittersweet sadness at the reality of it all. 

     A moment later you hear a snap. When your eyes shoot up you see the two of you are once again clothed and he offers you his hand. Reluctantly you take it and he smiles leading you over to the couch where he offers you a seat before sitting beside you. You regard him curiously as he makes himself comfortable facing you wondering what is going through his mind.

     “Forgive me, the conversation transformed into something that required more appropriate surroundings. I felt it would be much easier to speak to one another about such things this way.” Though he is being friendly his eyes are as unreadable as ever. You just confessed your love to him and you have no idea what he’s actually thinking. You want to ask but think better of it. What if it’s something you can’t handle hearing? What if he simply laughs at your childishness? 

     “You are assuming the worst. It is simple to see merely from the expression you are wearing.” When you snap to you still can’t find the appropriate words to say and instead you simply say nothing biting your lip. He regards you a moment before responding.

     “You are correct, this is indeed the first time in which we have spoken to each other in such a way. I believe it is my turn now to respond to what you have told me.” You take a deep breath, your stomach in knots as you wait to hear what this powerful ancient god sitting before you has to say.

     “When you spoke of the past were you referring to the the unfortunate situations that led to me trying to extinguish you?” His face is serious but the way he asks this is genuinely gentle and cautious. You nod in response saying nothing and allowing him to continue.

     “I cannot presume to understand the confusion and terror you must have felt during that time as I am a divine being who is immortal and cannot fathom the idea of living a life that is destined to end. I have spent nearly an eternity ruling over and passing judgement upon humans and yet if I am to be honest, it wasn’t until the way you looked into my eyes when you told me that you had never been my enemy that I felt an affinity for your kind. You, a being with every reason to fear, hate and resent me were somehow able after everything you had experienced at my hand, to see past it all and desire to know and experience more.” You can’t hide the tiny smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you listen to him explain his perspective.

     “You are utterly fascinating to me. Even as we continued these private encounters of ours you confess to me that not only do you feel love for me and give me your heart for the rest of your mortal life, but you do not even care whether or not those feelings are ever reciprocated. If I am to be honest, it is difficult for me to know how to respond to something so....honest and pure. Not even the noblest gods of the Heaven’s are capable of such selflessness. Your soul is....beautiful beyond words.” His gorgeous grey eyes seem to sparkle under the dim glow of the light above. When he looks at you like this you feel like he can see deep into your very soul. His hand brushes the dangling strand of hair behind your ear before caressing your cheek lovingly.

     “I....am forbidden by the laws of the Heaven’s to reciprocate your love. I must not love one human more than any other, I cannot lie with a human. While these laws may not make much sense to you or your kind the consequences should I break any can and would be catastrophic. That does not even begin to speak of what should befall you if I were to do such a thing.” His eyes seem to be looking at something far away as you feel your heart slowly sink. You knew from the beginning this was what was fated to be. It was beyond presumptuous to desire a romantic relationship with a god. What did you expect? For him to break the divine laws for you? A lowly human seen as nothing more than a pet so easily discarded and replaceable?

     “I know. Forgive me, it was out of place for me to say such things to you to begin with.” You try your best to keep your voice from breaking as you stare at the seam of fabric on the cushion you are sitting on.

     “Do you resent me for saying all of this to you?” His words sound pained yet you know if you were to look into his eyes you would only burst into tears. You shake your head timidly as you continue gazing absentmindedly downward, the tears beginning to pool in your lashes.

     “I could never resent you. Especially knowing that you actually care about me. That is more than enough. A mere human should be so lucky to have what we already have shared. It’s selfish of me to want or ask for more.” You offer though your insides are screaming. You love him. You love him so much it hurts. You would die for him without a second thought. He cares about you, but he doesn’t love you. Not the way you love him and regardless if it’s silly you can’t help but feel dejected and heartbroken over it. There’s no holding back the tears any longer. They are spilling over and honestly you don’t care if he sees it anymore. You are hurting inside and regardless if you are only human you cannot help the way you were designed to feel this deeply. 

     The instant you finally let go the flood rushes forth and you start to sob into your hands trying to hide your face from him. It nearly startles you when you feel yourself suddenly pulled tightly to him and his strong arms wrap around you holding you tenderly. He says nothing but strokes your hair touching you so softly as though you were something very valuable and precious to him. Though it just hurts more to be held by him this way you rest your cheek on his broad shoulder breathing him in and feeling soothed by his comforting and familiar scent. 

     After several moments of silence pass and you are able to at least stop sobbing, the tears continue to fall silently now slowly soaking his shirt. You don’t want to ever let go. It feels so good to be held like this by him. Seemingly out of nowhere he lets out a long conflicted sounding sigh.

     “Fuck it. It is too late as I have already broken one of the Divine Laws the night you told me you were not my enemy. I...already love you more than any other. Human or god. If I am to be punished than so be it.” His arms gently but firmly pull you away so you are facing each other. 

     “You belong to me and me alone. No other shall ever have you let alone look upon you the way that I do. You are far too beautiful in every possible way for me to ever allow you to leave my side. It is time. Time to make you mine and show you body and soul who you belong to now and forever.” You stare at him in awe and disbelief. Did he really just say what you think he had?

     “Prepare yourself little girl. The love of a god is no small endeavor. I will etch my godliness so deep inside of you that your body will yearn for no other. Let me show you the depth of my love for you. Give yourself to me and I swear this to you, I will protect you no matter the cost. Even if it costs me the stars in my eyes, you will always be with me for all eternity.”

-TBC-    

[nohappinessleague]

1. Jack Eichel and Auston Matthews

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f8/Jack_Eichel_-_Buffalo_Sabres.jpg

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/69/Auston_Matthews_IMG_7890.jpg

A true, American showdown. Recently, Jack Eichel stirred up rumors of a budding rivalry between him and fellow American hockey player, Auston Matthews. In an interview with Mike Zeisberger of Postmedia, he commented on the tension between the Sabres and Leafs. “We don’t like them. They don’t like us,” Eichel said.

Both American players are physically dominating centers, but most agree that their play style differs on the ice. But what about their fighting styles? Too early to see, but Eichel points out that Matthews is no slack in the personality department. “I think Auston has a bit of a confidence and a swagger to him,” said Eichel in his interview with Zeisberger. “He’s got a bit of that ‘f— you!’ mentality in him. And that’s a good thing.” 

Hopefully this season, Matthews will bring that f—you mentality to the ice and drop the gloves America vs. America. I can only ask that they both don American flag bandanas for the fight.

  2. Brent Burns and Jordie Benn

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8a/Brent_Burns_2016.jpg

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e5/Jordie_Benn_-_Dallas_Stars.jpg

The real battle of the beards. Do you like a nice, clean cut beard, courtesy of Jordie Benn? Or something….a little dirtier aka whatever is on Brent Burns face? I know, it’s too difficult to decide. Let’s just have them finish this debate with the good, time-honored tradition of head butting each other until one passes out. Last one standing is Top Beard.

3. Taylor Hall and Ryan-Nugent Hopkins

https://flic.kr/p/94f4cG

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b3/Ryan_Nugent-Hopkins_-_Edmonton_Oilers.jpg/932px-Ryan_Nugent-Hopkins_-_Edmonton_Oilers.jpg

Call me a sucker for drama, but can you imagine? Tears flowing down both of their faces. Taylor Hall in his red Devils uniform desperately throwing shot after shot, while his former buddy, former teammate in orange blocks what he can? It is the start to an HBO special…or at least an Emmy-winning hockey feature.

4. Connor McDavid and Brandon Manning

https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/482/19438702321_267c980607_b.jpg

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e5/Brandon_Manning.jpg

This one is a bit more personal. In 2015, Brandon Manning of the Philadelphia Flyers tangled up with Connor McDavid, while the young Oilers superstar was flying across the ice. McDavid fell into the end boards, fracturing his left clavicle. The injury kept McDavid out for months, and there was some chatter that Manning purposefully tripped McDavid to injure him.

Well, that ‘chatter’ turned into something a little more substantial in 2016, when McDavid claimed Manning made classless comments about the injury during a game. The two players spent the entire game verbally jousting, and they carried the hostility off the ice.

McDavid, in a post-game interview with the press, said “I guess we can put the whole ‘if he did it on purpose’ thing to rest because what he said out there kind of confirmed that.”

Manning argued that McDavid must have taken his comments out of context, but the Oilers weren’t happy. The situation came to a head when Oilers Patrick Maroon took Manning down to the ice, with some suggesting that was the end of the feud.

But why the hell should the feud be done with now? After one measly fight? I want more fists, wrinkled jerseys, and @ing in post-game interviews. I want drama. Here’s to hoping McDavid is one of those never forgive, never forget types.

5. Mitch Marner and Almost Anyone Else (Excluding Zdeno Chara)

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/cf/Mitchell_Marner_-_London_Knights.JPG

Auston Matthews seems like a kid who can handle himself pretty well. But Mitch Marner wasn’t taking any chances when Toronto’s prized hockey player got jumped by Rasmus Ristolainen of the Buffalo Sabres. He took the fight into his own hands, wrestling the dude to the ice. And by wrestling, I mean he basically koala-hugged Ristolainen to the ice. Innovative. Creative. Ballsy. I want to see more of Marner’s unique fighting style….just not against Zdeno Chara. I want a fight, not a massacre.

6. Phil Kessel and Evgeni Malkin

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/20/Phil_Kessel_2015-10-28_5.JPG/682px-Phil_Kessel_2015-10-28_5.JPG

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/23/Evgeni_Malkin_2016-03-01.JPG

“Hey, you can’t have Phil Kessel and Evgeni Malkin physically fight! They are on the same team!” WRONG. I can and will do whatever I want. And I want these two to engage in fisticuffs.

The tension starts after a passionate verbal battle on the bench. No one is scoring. The Pens are down. Sidney Crosby is disappointed in everyone, including himself. Phil is muttering and making vague gestures to no one — throwback to Game 2 against the Senators or a classic Gollum scene in Lord of the Rings. Sully tries to calm down Malkin, but it isn’t working. Two-time Stanley Cup Champion Kessel just won’t shut up, and Malkin isn’t afraid to fight his own teammate. The stress escalates until the two talented Pens players are throwing punches like it’s the end of the world…or the Flyers have a chance for the cup. The fights concludes with both of them bloodied and smiling. They end the day with a nice snack of hot dogs and Coca-Cola.  

7. P.K. Subban and Patrick Kane

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0c/PK_Subban_-_Montreal_Canadiens_2015b.jpg

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/76/Patrick_Kane_-_Chicago_Blackhawks.jpg

I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. Blackface? Rape accusations? Assault? Generally acting like an idiot?

Someone needs to fight this little punk. Or as my friend Kerri ( @kerriannemarie)  likes to say “We want P.K. to fucking decimate the smoldering garbage shit pile in the middle of an underwater volcano that is Patrick Kane.” Who better than P.K. Subban, the defensive star whose team literally obliterated Patrick Kane’s Blackhawks in the playoffs?

8. Gary Bettman and Alexander Ovechkin/Nicklas Bäckström

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/be/Alexander_Ovechkin_Russia_Olympics.jpg

There are monsters. And then there are people who won’t allow Alexander Ovechkin to represent Russia in the 2018 Winter Olympics. My only hope is that the straight-faced Nicklas Bäckström will finally snap and throw a punch that sends Gary Bettman back to whatever sick world he came from. Call me idealistic, though.

Honorable Mentions:

William Nylander and Alexander Nylander

Brother vs. brother, mano a mano. Who is the better hockey player? Who has the better accent? Most importantly, who has the better hair? These questions are best solved on the ice, fists flying.

Sidney Crosby and that Dude that Got his Finger Slashed Off

I can imagine it now. Sid the Kid skating up, learning down to whisper in Marc Methot’s ear. “I only got one finger? Well, how about a whole hand, eh?” Show Ottawa some real goon moves, Sid. Just kidding, violence is never the answer.

8 hockey fights I WILL see this season, even if I have to recreate in a video game (or incite) 1. Jack Eichel and Auston Matthews A true, American showdown. Recently, Jack Eichel stirred up rumors of a budding rivalry between him and fellow American hockey player, Auston Matthews.

[eagles]

Can Nelson Agholor Establish Himself as an Outside Receiver?

Photo: Matt Ludtke / AP

Things aren’t going quite as planned in 2018 for the Eagles in regards to the WR corps.  Alshon Jeffery has yet to make his debut, Mike Wallace and Mack Hollins are currently on IR and Shelton Gibson seems to be the invisible man.

As such, we’ve been seeing guys like Kamar Aiken and Josh Perkins catching passes lately.  That is almost as far off of the plan as any team can be.  I mean, when I first saw Perkins catch a pass the other week my initial reaction was “who the hell is that?!”

It took me a few minutes to realize who that actually was and then it hit me that our receiving corp must be in really bad shape for this guy to be out there catching passes.

Just four weeks ago, what would the odds have been for Perkins to catch a single pass this year for the defending Super Bowl Champions?  You would have had to be pretty savvy (or just ballsy) if you made that bet.  Oh, and if you like to check on odds, you can check this site for all kinds of updated odds, including the Eagles’ chances at a repeat.

In any case, even when Alshon returns, the Eagles need someone to fill the deep threat position not only for the potential big play, but to open things up underneath. They simply can’t just run short and intermediate routes all day.  Secondaries will just sit on them and make every pass a tough completion with little YAC.

As I was watching the game against the Colts, I was thinking to myself why haven’t we tried taking a deep shot to Agholor?  It was shortly thereafter when they finally did…and it would have been a TD if not for a great athletic play by Colts safety Malik Hooker to knock the ball away.  Prior to that, the Colts were just sitting all over the short routes the Eagles were running.

So, can Agholor effectively do what Mike Wallace was brought in to do?  Speed-wise, there should be no reason he can’t.  However, it’s fair to say that it wasn’t that long ago when Agholor struggled playing on the outside.

Much has changed since 2016, mainly Agholor’s confidence and ability to simply catch the football.  His transformation happened after the recently re-signed Jordan Matthews left prior to last season which allowed for Agholor’s move to the slot role.  That move, in conjunction with finding his groove mentally, allowed him to flourish last year.

The plan was obviously to keep him in the slot this year but now things have changed.  Can he apply his new found success to the outside and fill Wallace’s role?  Or will he revert back to the 2016 Agholor?

For what it’s worth, Agholor himself feels he can absolutely fill that role and “take the top off” of defenses.  I would imagine he will find himself getting that chance more often as we move forward.

Once Jeffery returns, I have to imagine the 3-receiver sets will be Jeffery and Agholor on the outside with Matthews in the slot.  That’s what makes the most sense right now.  Of course, Pederson will move players around in different formations, but that will likely be the main look when they run 11 personnel.

In this role, Agholor would in effect be the “X” receiver.  The big thing with being an X receiver is not just having the speed to separate from the CB, but having the ability to beat press coverage.  Can he do that on a consistent basis?

That’s the main question.

This could actually be a career opportunity for Agholor.  Outside receivers are the ones who get the big contracts.  If he can establish himself as the offense’s deep threat, we will not have to worry about bringing another Torrey Smith or Mike Wallace next year.

from Eagles Addict https://ift.tt/2NM42Ok via IFTTT

[nastygarbageboystinkman]

Social anxiety

Today in psychology class we had to give a presentation about a certain celebrity or character an analysis explaining why they do what they do being the ballsy little fuck I am I chose to do one on Laverne Cox because I wanted to do someone not straight or just in general not cis I originally planned to do someone else some lesbian I related to but we had to do this in partners and the girl who I was working with already knew I was gay so I didn't want her to think I chose the person just because they were a lesbian like me even though it would be totally true so I decided to go for another lesbian who Laverne plays in orange is the new black because it would be safer because orange is the new black is generally not just a gay thing but then we decided to instead do Laverne Cox because they were both Trans and I would get more information about a real person than a fictional character so me and my partner worked on it but it didn't feel good enough so yesterday the night before my project was due I decided to fix it I researched all about trans people and psychology and it was interesting but also scary how people can know what they are so young how people can feel suicidal at 11 most of the things I read had some sort of bias which made it more difficult I didn't get to do someone lesbian lol I originally hoped for but I'm glad I got a new understanding of Trans people and how they must feel but while researching I felt this overwhelming loneliness this feeling of dread at the homophobia and the overwhelming assholness of the people who harassed her when she was younger the more I got into it the more I attached I got finally after a few hours of slaving over a computer I was done or well my body wouldn't let me work anymore as an overwhelming tiredness stopped me from working so then today was the day of the presentation I finished my presentation and i was back in psych class we were the last to present and if the people before us took any longer we might have not even gone today so I start to get up and suddenly I'm overwhelmingly nervous and I've done presentations before multiple times and I've done them with confidence and a smile granted that was at my old school but still I'm pretty sure my all about me presentation was better spoken than I spoke this and the all about me presentation was at this new school so I'm pretty sure the reason I was nervous was because the presentation meant a lot to me it was about someone lgbt it was talking about the struggle of not being straight about representation for people who didn't have it it was about attempted suicide and feeling like a freak a misfit so for the first time since middle school my public speaking anxiety was through the roof my words were all jumbled as I tried to explain this important topic I never felt so nervous so panicked my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like my adrenaline was high though it probably wasn't but I can describe how crazy and how scared I felt how scared I am about being gay about how people react to gay people about the fear of burning in hell my psych teacher called a person who didn't really Identify as a girl or a boy an "it" my psych teacher the one who told us to be sensitive about how other people are feeling and their opinions I miss being up north because it was less likely that someone was going to be homophobic and if they were my friend would've punched the homophobe in the face and told me everything was okay but I'm in Texas in a huge high school and I have no idea were I stand infact when I joked about having an affair with someone's non existent sister everyone was quite maybe it's cause that's a weird thing to say but still I feel so scared an alone but I need to make it through because things are better for my mom here and it's just the first three weeks and I need to try to make it through till Christmas and it sucks because my mom wants to help but no matter what happens I'm probably going to still feel this melancholy this anxiety and dark cloud above my head and I don't know how to fix it I'm honestly.

[devils-gatemedia]

As enjoyable as the recent Ritchie Blackmore/Rainbow gigs were, it was obvious to all that the band suffered from a lack of time together, and that playing only a handful of gigs had its pitfalls. Massive, on the other hand, have been on the road since what seems like forever, and are purring like a finely tuned Rolls Royce engine… just don’t mention the van that is transporting them, and fellow Aussies Tequila Mockingbyrd, around the country. Since they landed on these shores last winter, it’s been a never ending cycle of gigs, before heading home to get their washing done and opening for Living Colour on a short tour of Oz. After a run through mainland Europe, getting wrapped up in the G20 riots in Hamburg, the guys are back in the UK for a mixture of festival slots and headline shows… and by Christ, they are on fire.

Tequila Mockingbyrd have undergone a pretty major line-up change recently, with Louisa Baker coming in on guitar and vocals, and bassist Jacinta Jaye becoming a fully fledged TByrd. Thankfully, none of the energy and power that made them stand out in the first place has been lost in the transition. The songs still sound as larger than life, and Baker has easily slipped into the not-inconsiderable shoes of the departed Estelle Artois, so much so, that had you been unaware of the line-up change, you would think that Baker had been a member of the band for years, rather than the months that she has. Fuelled by the powerhouse drumming of Josie O’Toole, Tequila Mockingbyrd run through a blistering set that has the audience massing round the small stage. Playing an infectious brand of power punk/rock n’ roll, Tequila Mockingbyrd have an impressive arsenal of bangers in their repertoire. ‘Never Go Home’, ‘Jagerbomb’, ‘Somebody Put Something In My Drink’, and ‘I Smell Rock ‘N’ Roll’ are all huge and have the crowd singing along. This is a band that have made a sizeable impression on UK audiences with their music and incredible work ethic. A tough act to follow, that’s for sure.

Tonight, the band with that task are Liverpool’s Black Cat Bones, the British filling in an Aussie sandwich. Going with the classic dual guitar format that works so well within a hard rock band, Black Cat Bones are ballsy and above all, well practiced. It’s easy to see that these guys put in the hours in the rehearsal room. They feed off each other throughout the set, and give off an air of confidence that is always good to see in a young band. Frontman Jonnie Hodson is not short of a quip or two, and the combined Scouse/Aussie backstage banter must make the hair curl. Thankfully, he has the voice to go with the on stage persona. The influence of Guns N’ Roses looms large over the band, and on the week of the 30th anniversary of ‘Appetite For Destruction’, it’s amazing to see just exactly how influential that album still is. ‘Seen Better Days’ is a great opener. A steady wall of noise that builds up into a monstrous groove with more than a handful of delicious guitar licks. ‘Devil You Know’ is another standout. A guitar sound that is tailor made for some head bobbing, it’s hard to resist, so it’s better to give in and just go with it. It’s the swampy sound on ‘The River’ that takes all the plaudits though, and in a sweltering venue, it’s ideal… slow and sleazy, with some cool harmonica work from Hodson. Confident enough to go for some audience participation, the band succeed in getting the crowd singing along on a track perfect for some call and response. A strong set that ended with many turning around and heading to the merch stand to spend some coin. Just don’t call them “hair metal”, okay!

A few things become apparent within the first few minutes of Massive taking to the stage. One is that the relentless touring schedule has turned the band into a well oiled (in both senses!) machine, and the second is how much tighter the band seem with the return of Ben Laguda on lead guitar. They were good last October, but this is an entirely different ball game. They seem a faster and more cohesive unit, that’s for sure. Vocalist, guitarist, and bloody good bloke, Brad Marr tells the tale of how Laguda came to rejoin the band… “We found him lying in the street one night, so we said to him if we get you some shoes and put a guitar around your neck, do you want to tour the world?”. Touring bassist Tommy Sunset (love that name!) also plays a major part in the evening’s festivities. As soon as he took to the stage, he was off it, strolling through the crowd, bass in hand, as the band played on. After a wander and geeing the crowd up, he attempts to get back on stage, trips over the monitor, and goes arse over tit. Marr is still singing, or trying to, attempting to stifle the laughter. As soon as Sunset regains vertical status, he gets a fistbump from Marr for his trouble. Sunset is pure rock n’ roll, bass slung low like it should be, and mic stand way up high, with the mic hanging down in true Lemmy style. He’s here to party, and he has joined the band best suited to this lifestyle.

It’s a fast set played at a furious pace, culled from both 2014’s ‘Full Throttle’ album and the follow up ‘Destination Somewhere’. ‘One By One’, ‘Bring Down The City’ and ‘Hollywood’ fly by in a flash. ‘Blood Money Blues’ (drummer Jarrod Medwin steals the show on this one) has the crowd pogo-ing, and the dandruff flying, ‘Ghost’ is as poignant today as it was on the debut album, and then we have the new track ‘Calm Before The Storm’. Taken from the third album, due in 2018, it’s a snarling beast of a track, with a great guitar sound that leaves you counting down the months until album number three arrives. As the set tears towards its climax, Marr calls up both Tequila Mockingbyrd and Black Cat Bones to the stage for a massive free for all. What else can it be but ‘Highway To Hell’? Drummers take turns behind the kit. Those without a guitar pick up spare drumsticks and hammer away. Marr takes a header into the crowd and gets passed over heads before landing safely and cutting back through the crowd onto the stage. Truly a “you-had-to-be-there moment”. An incredible end to an evening of which there are not enough superlatives to describe. Massive will be back next year with album number three and a subsequent tour. Not to be missed.

Review – Dave Stott

Images – Dave Jamieson

#gallery-0-5 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-5 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

    Review: Massive – Bannermans, Edinburgh As enjoyable as the recent Ritchie Blackmore/Rainbow gigs were, it was obvious to all that the band suffered from a lack of time together, and that playing only a handful of gigs had its pitfalls.