#bakkhos

[apollophanes]

O Dionysos, O Bacchus!

My Lord, may I be free from all stress and worry

O Eleutheros, O Liber!

May I rise up like the mighty grapevine

And may I create a path for myself wherever I see a dead end

Hail, O Bull-Horned God!

Hail, O Thrice-Born Lord!

[ponzonyera]

"Triumph of Bacchus"

A roman mosaic found in the ancient city of Caesaraugusta, the actual Zaragoza (my hometown). It dates to the second or the third century CE. Another mosaic of Bacchus (or Dionysos Bibens) was found in Octavus (actual Utebo, a tiny city very near to Zaragoza) during 70s.

[beatingdrumspouringwine]

Prayer to the Faceless God

You first came to me, o Dionysos, just out of view of the flowers, Where green lit the inner rooms, while outside the world was bleak and gray. You knew the time was right and drew me in, I looked where there should be kindly eyes and saw none, And I fell in love with a headless God, Knowing You for the first time, Knowing peace for the first time. Gentle Dionysos carved of stone, I pray that I am always able to see You and know You. If ever I did feast my eyes on sweetly carved grapes adorning Your shoulders, And feed my body with the sweet wines and ciders of the late fall, I pray that You remember this, And sit with me once again, As You did the first time we met, Perfectly faceless, yet perfectly known to me.

[thegoodfellowpuck]

If you are LGBTQ+, Dionysos is your God!

If you are a POC, Dionysos is your God!

If you are an immigrant or foreigner, Dionysos is your God!

If you are a woman, Dionysos is your God!

If you are oppressed or downtrodden, Dionysos is your God!

With a touch of His finger, chains fall away!

With the tremor of His cry, the houses of the tyrants crumble!

We have no king but Bakkhos!

[dovetheater]

Dionysus 🐆

"Come, blessed Dionysos, various-named, bull-faced, begot from thunder, Bakkhos (Bacchus) famed. Bassaros God, of universal might, whom swords and blood and sacred rage delight: in heaven rejoicing, mad, loud-sounding God, furious inspirer, bearer of the rod: by Gods revered, who dwellest with humankind, propitious come, with much rejoicing mind."

[differentsoulsweets]

Dionysus: Introductory Post

Διονυσος [Liber, Bacchus] Greek god of wine and insanity

Epithets: ✧ bakkhos [Of bacchic frenzy] ✧ Bromios [boisterous] ✧ Staphylites [of the grape] ✧ Oinops [wine-dark] ✧ Eleuthereus [of liberation] ✧ Androgynos [androgynous] ✧ Kistophoros [ivy bearer] ✧ Taurophagon [bull eating] ✧ Euaster [He who cries Euoi]

Domains: ✧ Wine making ✧ Orchards ✧ Fruit ✧ Vegetation ✧ Festivity ✧ Insanity / Ritual Madness ✧ Theatre Devotional acts: ✧ Host/attend parties (be responsible!) ✧ grow a plant ✧ make or drink fruity drinks ✧ Taking care of yourself mentally and physically

Associations

Symbol: ✧ Thyrsos ; Ivy Crown ; Grape-vine

Element: ✧ Earth (upg)

Color: ✧ purple ✧ green ✧ gold ✧ red ✧ black ✧ white ✧ burgundy

Metal: ✧ None known

Crystals and stones: ✧ Garnet ✧ Ruby ✧ Amethyst ✧ Grape agate

Animal: ✧ Leopard ✧ Goat ✧ Donkey ✧ Lion ✧ Serpent ✧ Wild bull ✧ Panther Plants: ✧ Grape-vine ✧ Ivy ✧ Cinnamon ✧ Silver fir ✧ Bindweed ✧ Figs

Food & Drinks: ✧ Red Wine ✧ Olive oil ✧ Water ✧ Fruit ✧ Honey ✧ Honeyed milk ✧ Meats ✧ Wheat ✧ Barley

Day, Season, Time of Day: ✧ None known

Tarot: ✧ Hanged Man ✧ The Hierophant ✧ The Devil

[bacchant-of-dionysus]

Dionysus Epithets, prayers and devotional activities

Βακχος/Bakkhos/Bacchus - frenzied - “Dionysus Bakkhos, lead me in frenzy” - have a rave or dance party in his honour.

Βρομιος/Bromios/Bromius - noisy - “Dionysus Bromios, make my voice heard.” - scream at the top of your lungs.

Μαινολης/Mainôles/Maenoles - raging - “Dionysus Mainôles, let me process my rage” - punch a punching bag or pillow.

Νυκτελιος/Nyktelios/Nyctelius - of the night - “Dionysus Nyktelios, lull me to sleep” - take a night time walk

Λαμπτηρος/Lamptêros/Lampterus - torch bearer - “Dionysus Lamptêros, guide me through the darkness.” - light a candle in his honour.

Ἑστιως/Hestiôs/Hestius - of the feast - “Dionysus Hestios, bless this meal” - make a meal in his honour.

Κωλωτης/Kôlôtês/Colotes - spotted gecko - use as a symbol of Dionysus

Αυξιτης/Auxitês/Auxites - giver of increase - “Dionysus Auxitês, increase my fortunes” - use this as a blessing when starting a new business or adventure.

Φαλλην/Phallên/Phallen - of the phallus - “Dionysus Phallên, make me fertile.” - use a phallic object during sex to promote fertility.

Ανδρογυνος/Androgynos/Androgynus - sexually androgynous (both tops and bottoms) - “Dionysus Androgynos, make me versatile in bed.” - explore dominance and submission in BDSM.

Σταφυλιτης/Staphylitês/Staphylites - of the grape - “Dionysus Staphylitês, allow me to grow like the vine.” - grow a grape plant.

Ληναιος/Lênaios/Lenaeus - of the wine press - “Dionysus Lênaios, bless this drink.” - say this before drinking wine.

Θεοινος/Theoinos/Theoenus - God of wine - “Dionysus Theoinos, I honour you.” - use as his title when regarding this aspect of his divinity.

Αγαθοσ Δαιμον/Agathos Daemon/Agathus Daemon - the good spirit - “Dionysus Agathos Daemon, bring good fortune upon this house.” - bless the house by hanging this message above the door or in your Lararium (if you practice more Roman traditions)

Προτρυγαιος/Protrygaois/Protrygaeus - first of the vintage - “Dionysus Protrygaois, I offer you the first sip of my wine.” - go wine tasting.

Οινοψ/Oinops/Oenops - wine dark - “Dionysus Oinops, protect our brothers and sisters of colour and welcome them into our faith.” - donate to an anti racist charity or buy from a Brown/Black/Blak owned business.

Κισσιος/Kissios/Cisseus - of the ivy - “Dionysus Kissios, May my faith grow like ivy on your walls.” - make an ivy crown.

Κιττοφορος/Kittophoros/Cittophorus - ivy bearer - “Dionysus Kittophoros, bless this ivy.” - Make a thyrsus.

Ανθιον/Anthion/Anthion - of the flowers - “Dionysus Anthion, may the world bloom in your colours.” - make a flower crown.

Κιστοφορος/Kistophoros/Cistophorus - basket bearer - “Dionysus Kistophoros, my my basket always be full.” - weave a basket

Ερεβινθινος/Erebinthinos/Erebinthius - of the chickpea - put chickpeas on your altar.

Διμητωρ/Dimêtôr/Dimetor - twice born - “Dionysus Dimêtôr, welcome me into this new part of my life” - study the tarot card “death”

Αιγοβολος/Aigobolos/Aegobolos - goat slayer - “Dionysus Aigobolos, I make this sacrifice in your honour.” - take part in the slaughter, butchering and consumption of a goat.

Βουφαγος/Bouphagos/Buphagus - cow eater - “Dionysus Bouphagus, bless this steak.” - eat a steak in his honour.

Ανθροπορραιστος/Anthroporraistos/Anthroporraestus - man slayer - “Dionysus Anthroporraistos, slayer of men, destroy those who would stand in my way” - burn a straw man on a bonfire.

Λυσιος/Lysios/Lysius - releasing - “Dionysus Lysios, free me from what is holding me down.” - get a massage to release tense muscles

Ελευθερευς/Eleuthereus/Eleuthereus - of liberation, freedom - “Dionysus Eleuthereus, free me from my chains” break a wooden board in half with your hand (look up how to do this safely)

Ψιλαξ/Psilax/Psilax - (lifted on) wings - “Dionysus Psilax, let me fly high enough to see the bigger picture” - collect feathers for his altar.

Σαωτης/Saôtês/Saotes - saviour - “Dionysus Saôtês, save me from myself.” - address him as this when in times of desperation.

Σωτηριος/Sôtêrios/Soterius - recovery (from madness) - “Dionysus Sôtêrios, enable me to recover from this dark episode of my illness.” - go to therapy in his honour.

Πατρωιος/Patrôios/Patroeus - paternal, ancestral - “Dionysus Patrôios, Divine Father, guide me with your wisdom.” - trace your family history/ do a dna test

Αισυμνητης/Aisymnêtês/Aesymnetes - dictator - “Dionysus Aisymnêtês, Divine Ruler, I trust your plan for me.” - make a big decision with your faith in mind.

Πολιτης/Politês/Polites - citizen - “Dionysus Pilotês, stand up for the rights of the common people.” - attend a rally or pride event

Αγυιευς/Agyieus/Agyieus - protector - “Dionysus Agyieus, protect my homeland from harm.” - make a ward around your home.

Μυστης/Mystês/Mystes - of the mysteries - “Dionysus Mystes, bless this party” - throw a bacchanal

Χθονιος/Khthonios/Cthonius - of the earth/cthonic - “Dionysus Khthonios, older than the earth.” - pray to him outside, on the ground.

Μελπομενος/Melpomenos/Melpomenus - performer (in Greek tragedy) - “Dionysus Melpomenos, mask my emotions.” - make a theatre mask of Dionysus.

This is the completed version! If you like this list I would appreciate a small tip or patreon subscription, as it took hours to put together :)

[kore-siciliana]

Dyonisos Soterios - Savior from Maddness

Blessed one, I am afraid to name you, least I fall back into you, for the flower of my mind has closed in upon itself, and I search for some identity in the rest you grant me.  But you still whisper in dark recesses.  You found the frayed edges of me and wove yourself into them.  The boundaries of the psyche were found to be penetrable. You dismembered the self and my mind dissolved into countless perfect fractles whose source was you.  In my prayers did I gift myself to you? For you took each piece of me and dispersed them into sublime hands.  Like clusters on a vine I was devoured.  Those deathless and holy ones came, you who knows birth from divine flame, and like raging fire they consumed me.  Savior and two horned, it was you who revealed that I was suffering from your maddness.  For you are both the cause and the cure.�� With one mouth we spoke, and with one body we lived.  I knew you, O Bakkhos!  You retreat now, living silently in me, ever watching, waiting for mania.  You birth yourself in the dark, in my fear.  Have you made me a maenad? Raucous and raving, I tore apart my life.  I could find you in the tearing and called it beautiful.  You plunged me deep into furtile earth, Iakkhos, and spoke mysteries so I might live and behold divine sights.  Embraced in holy light I wept with relief.  You assured me that in death I would know you, that I would forever be embraced by you, that I would live again in you, in what you are, transformed and transmuted in the vast omnitude that you arise from.  That my end was the transformation of my holy love in each divine face I sought in life into an eternal embrace.  That I would be boundless like a raindrop returning to cosmic ocean.  But for now I must live.  In life, I know this as true communion.  That part of me where you and I meet, we together consume, and through me you call it divine host.  And when I imbibe in that in which you are potent, like rich wine, I feel a lineage of many who knew you as destructor and savior, Dionysos Soterios.  One of many lessons you give me, that I must find the divinity in humanity.  I was in your grip but now I find your touch is lite.  You are quiet now and I am unsure if I have the courage to find you.  Sometimes I hear your whispers.  They are enticing temptation, but they also tell me to stay away.  That I cannot live in a god.  How I am made will turn me to face you from time to time but life can only sustain itself in ecstasy for brief moments.  But now that I know you, I find you everywhere, and when I look at myself I see you smiling back at me, reassuring me that I am forever yours.  And when they say I am touched, I now know what it means, O thyrsos bearing master of initiates, for you have.

[hadesfan50]

Nonnus, Dionysiaca 4. 152 ff (trans. Rouse) (Greek epic C5th A.D.) : "I will pass even to Akheron the River of Pain of my own free will, and with rapture even amid the many lamentations of all-forgetting Lethe, I will tell the dead of my fate, to awaken pity and envy alike in merciless Persephoneia."

Nonnus, Dionysiaca 12. 213 ff : "[Dionysos transforms his dead friend Ampelos into a grape-vine :] ‘For you Haides himself has become merciful, for you Persephone herself has changed her hard temper, and saved you alive in death for brother Bakkhos (Bacchus). You did not die . . . You are still alive, my boy, even if you died.’"

I love the fact that in Greek mythology it is Persephone with a bad temper and not Hades unlike how modern media sees it.

[apollons-arrow]

"O Bakkhos! Take me somewhere ruled by the law of desire where we can dance you and dance you and never tire"

The Bakkhai (translated by Anne Carson)

[maspers]

Describing every single fricking SCP Object Class

It is apparently customary in the SCP Community to use the "locked box" analogy whenever possible, so I shall be doing the same. I... might have some trouble, but oh well that is what they call life. Standard Object Classes (aka the ones that people actually use)

Safe: You put it in a box. Nothing happens.

Euclid: You put it in a box. You're not quite sure what's gonna happen.

Keter: You put it in a box. Oh crap it's escaping.

Thaumiel: It either IS the box, or is helping you put other stuff in boxes.

Neutralized: It no longer needs to be in a box.

Decommissioned: It no longer needs to be in a box... because you destroyed it.

Apollyon: A box will not help. Nothing will help. Accept your doom. Archon: You could put it in a box, but you decided it's better if you didn't.

Explained: You thought it needed to be put in a box but turns out it was just a regular thing that doesn't require a box.

Pending: You haven't tried to put it in a box.

Esoteric Object Classes (aka Heyyyyyy what if we made things MORE complicated)

Absentia: You use it to keep nonexistent stuff into the "box" that is nonexistence. Acquiesce: You can't put it in a box. Deal with it.

Adventure: You put it in a box. Suddenly, you realize life is exciting, and records about you start portraying you in a manner befitting your exciting life. Oh wait, no, that’s just a side effect of putting the thing in the box. Aegis: It was specifically created to protect your putting-stuff-in-boxes activities.

Aether: Some people claim it exists. If you find out it does, then you'll put it in a box.

Aicalë: You put it in a box, with the knowledge that it’s not staying there. Ain: You put it in a box. Eventually it will cause the end of the world.

Ain-Soph-Aur: You don’t put it in a box. It manages itself, and the continued existence of normal humans that don’t need to be put in boxes. Aisna: It makes more stuff that you might need to put in boxes. But you can use it. And it might be part god.

Anesidora: You put it in a box, and must prohibit the box from mixing with other boxes. Anomalous: You could put it in a box and study it further but it's useless so who cares? Antithesis: It must be used to keep itself and other stuff from being put in boxes.

Apologize: Someone had some kind of breakdown while writing this. Probably has to do with the thing you’re putting in a box. Archived: Maybe you put it in a box once but now you no longer need to care about it, so you've stashed the files away. Argus: Someone other than you put it in a box. Asura: You can't do anything to it, but that's fine because it's harmless. Atlas: It is what allows you to continue existing, so you shouldn't put it in a box.

Axiom: 42 Azathoth: You put it in a box. Egads! This thing is definitely very dangerous and deserving of a cool and unique object class.

Bakkhos: Putting it in a box is difficult because defining boundaries of any sort becomes a lot harder when it is involved. Belial: Its box (if it exists) is outside of your jurisdiction, so you use a metaphorical box for it instead.

Beautiful: You put it in a box. And now you and everyone else studying it worships it.

BFF: You put it in a box. It emits a memetic effect that causes people to take it out of the box. (There are a lot of weird ones like this) Binah: What is this, Persona 5?

Boltzmann: You cannot put it in a box. Which is good, since it's necessary for your continued existence.

Cartel: You were going to put it into a box, but then your managers (Regional and Overwatch Command) told you to make it Uncontained instead (see below). Cernunnos: You could theoretically put it in a box, but you don't have the ability to do so right now.

CHALLENGE: Identical to Safe, but part of the box it’s in involves referring to it in a specific way. Chelovek: You don't need to put it in a box because the HR department is doing it for you. Chesed: You are working together with the affected parties to keep it in a box. Chhokmah: You can't put it in a box because that would mess with people's brains.

Compromised: You put it in a box. Things went from fine to not fine in a way that means you need to destroy your files on it. Concentra: It creates its own box, then continuously puts more stuff in that box ad infinitum. Conscientia: You can't put it in a box, so you tricked everyone into thinking it's normal.

Contained: You put it in a box. Which is all you'd THINK it would mean, but *nooooo* it's one of THOSE ones-

Containment: You put it in a box, then train it to put stuff in boxes. Then it goes AWOL. Continua: You put it in a box, but part of it's missing, so you're not sure if the box is actually working.

Cor: You put it in a box, then actively do everything in your power to avoid thinking about what it is and does, to the point that you change its Object Class to something meaningless. Da'as Elyon: Identical to Conscientia, except somehow Jewish.

Daath: Instead of putting it in a box you let it wander around parts of your workplace.

Dagdagiel: CHEER UP SLEEEEEEEPY JEEEEEEEEAAAAAAN

Damballah: It's in a box, but you aren't sure how or why.

Dark Keter: You cannot put it in a box or destroy it. The file for this likely came from an untrustworthy source.

[DATA EXPUNGED]: You put it in a box (maybe). The exact details are something you don’t have the clearance for.

Debated: Whether or not it actually needs to go in a box (and how or why) is currently under dispute.

Decidium: You use it to destroy other stuff. Also it might be a god? And you might worship it? But like, also while keeping it in a box?

Dependent: You put it in a box, and everything's fine, but you also have a legal and/or moral obligation to maintain it.

Dishwasher: sighs Let’s put a pin in that for now, please.

Downy: You put it in a box. Duck-related things occur.

Draugr: It itself doesn't need a box (maybe it's destroyed) but weird box-worthy stuff keeps happening and it's responsible somehow.

Drygioni: Your bosses are looking into it.

Echelon: It (and likely the box you have put it in) is currently you and your organization’s highest priority. In theory. This Object Class has never actually been used in practice, if any documents have it you can probably ignore them as being altered by something that should be in a box.

Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy: Ecophagy:… 

Efla: You or one of your coworkers made the dang thing.

Ein Sof: You put it in a box designed to keep it exactly the way it is. And this was intentionally designed, by a god, maybe.

Ellipsis: You have a box. There is nothing in the box worth talking about or otherwise referring to. Trust me, it’s *really* not worth it.

Embla: You put it in a box, then use it to create more stuff that can be put in boxes.

Endeminis: It's technically part of the way your job functions, so instead of putting it in a box you just kind of keep track of it.

Enochian: You can't really put it in a box on account of it being a fundamental part of reality.

Entos: You wrote a file on it. The file is the box.

Eparch: You put it in a box, not because it needs to be in a box, but because it's connected to other stuff that might need to be in a box.

ERROR: Something’s wrong with your file. Check to make sure you entered the URL correctly.

Esoteric: Er, wait, that's what I'm already listing, can't you be more specific? The people who came up with all these other terms certainly didn't seem to have any trouble. Ether: Same meaning as Aether. It's been thousands of years and humans still can't agree how this word is spelled.

Ethical: You put it in a box. Then you let the Ethics Committee handle it. LET THEM HANDLE IT.

Exist: It’s everything, so you can’t put it in a box. Hopefully.

Finis: Nothing will need to be put in boxes anymore, which means you will no longer need boxes. (Well, like, you still need them NOW, we'll get there when we get there)

Flor Galana: It partially puts itself and other stuff in boxes, but you can't completely put it in a box.

Former: Regardless of whether or not you are trying to put it into a box, you and others will be memetically compelled to claim that it was something previously (the claims themselves are what matter here, regardless of whether it was and/or still is what is being claimed).

Foundation: It almost doesn’t need to be put into a box.

F***: Either you or someone else put something in a box (or tried to) and now circumstances have caused you to throw aside decorum and professionalism while filling the report.

Galileo: You can’t put it into a box… but you CAN destroy it!

Gevurah: It hurts the infrastructure of your job, and impedes various stuff your job is trying to do.

GOD: Calm down and check to see if there are any other versions of the file for it.

Gleipnir: You keep needing to put it in different types of boxes.

Glorious: Identical to Beautiful, except instead of putting it in a box you wear it on your head.

Gӧdel: It WOULD be Explained, but you need other things in boxes to explain it.

Hazardous: I thought this applied to all of these? Uh. It hurty, no touchy.

HANDLE_NOT_FOUND: Essentially the same as ERROR. Though you might want to read whatever file comes up VERY carefully.

Hariti: It’s one of your coworkers which means (at least in this instance) that it doesn’t need to go in a box.

Hera: It really doesn’t like you. But if you can, you will put it in a box and use it.

Hiemal: You put it in a box. Then you looked closer and realized it was multiple things keeping each other in boxes.

Hod: Instead of getting a new job, why not get your old one, but different? …Using a process kept in a box.

Ignosi: You cannot put it in a box because you don’t know it exists. In fact, nobody can know it exists. (wait, how does that work, if nobody knows they exist why is there a classification for them? did they like make it under the assumption that SOMETHING fit the criteria? like i know it’s for the readers’ benefit but all of this exists in universe right? or is this another “there is no canon” thing? goshdangit)

In Doubt: You put it in a box, and you would use one of the three main Object Classes (Safe, Euclid, Keter) but you can’t use the letter E for some reason.

Infohazardous Predator: Exactly what it says on the tin. You need to put it in a box.

Inimical: You put it in a box. In doing so you make it worse. Destroy it ASAP.

Instrumentum: You put it in a box, and then you and your organization (which, as you might have gathered, specializes in putting stuff in boxes) put it to use. So basically it’s Prodest but better. We’ll get to Prodest. Oh, we’ll GET to Prodest.

Integrated: You put it in a box. The box is called “being part of the company that puts stuff in boxes”. Also possibly therapy.

Irrelevant: You might be able to put it in a box but trust me when I say you don’t need to worry about it. Probably.

Israfil: You put it in a box. Then- wait, it’s what? Due to what? Okay so the thing it it’s… umm… sigh just look up Action 10-Israfil-A, it’s a result of that.

Interferelessed: In order to keep it in a box, you and everyone else at your job must have access to at least a partial file on it at all times.

Jerusalem: Regardless of if it’s in a box or not, you can go see it at any time. Something about this feels ironic.

Joke: You put it in a box. Exact details beyond that are extremely context-specific, so treat with caution.

Juggernaut: You put it in a box. It can cause the end of the world. Yes I know that applies to like everything, I didn’t make this object class!

Karl June: You put it in a box, because it is under the effects of SCP-6727.

Khonsu: You put it in a box and now you’re studying the heck out of it before it stops being something you can study.

Kronecker: In theory, it means that you don’t need to put it in a box. In practice, however, this only applies to one specific example, every other SCP labeled Kronecker has been altered from its original (more accurate) classification.

Kušum: You’ve given up for now on trying to put it in a box.

Legally Uncontainable: You cannot legally put it in a box, either due to your own governing authority or another. Or a… fast spreading burger company?

Maksur: You’ve separated it into parts, and put those parts into different boxes.

Malchut: Identical to Keter, and used in scenarios when using Keter outright isn’t an option. Not to be confused with Malkuth.

Malkuth: Advanced Non-Humans are putting it in a box. Hopefully. Not to be confused with Malchut (seriously, why do they DO this???)

Megiddo: Basically the same thing as Apollyon except the whole Doom thing has already happened.

Memet: It’s keeping itself in its own box.

Mendax: You put it in a box. Then determining exactly what occurs next is tricky as it alters information about itself. As such, this Classification doesn’t really get used. Not to be confused with Mendax. Mendax: Identical to Enochian, except you have to monitor it carefully because it’s still capable of causing the apocalypse. Not to be confused with Mendax. (If it helps, this one is originally written in the Cyrillic Alphabet as opposed to the Latin one.)

Moiety: You put it in a box. The United Kingdom depends on this.

Multiple: You put it in a box. There are differing reactions from different parts of it at differing times, so you’re gonna need to go into greater detail over which parts qualify as which Object Class.

Multiplex: You put multiple things in multiple boxes, but if you’re gonna go into detail about one of them you have to talk about ALL of them.

Mumar: You put it in a box. You cannot tell your bosses about it.

Mushrik: I’ve read this file like 5 times and I have NO idea what makes this SCP worthy of a unique Object Class, or what this Object Class is even supposed to indicate. I don’t understand.

Mutually Dependent: You put it in a box. It’s actually multiple things that, if separated, would no longer need to be in a box.

N/A: No, I am NOT going to describe even more weird exceptions than I already am! If it doesn’t have an Object Class, it doesn’t have an Object Class. MOVING ON!

Nagi: You put it in a box, but then it stopped needing to be in a box. You’re keeping it in the box anyway, just in case.

Necrospar: There’s no evidence it exists. But if it does, you’ll put it in a box.

Nehemoth: Instead of putting it into a box, you do your best to destroy it due to it being your enemy. …This isn’t one that the Foundation actually uses.

Nepenthe: ‘CAUSE WE COULD BE IMMORTALS, IMMO-ORTALS… 

Netzach: You put it in a box, if necessary. It’s used to ensure the indefinite survival of the human race. Technically it’s more complicated than that and I wish people would stop turning planets into SCPs.

Nightfall_Meteor: No need to put it in a box, just observe. It’s capable of causing an apocalypse, but such an effect won’t last long so just make sure you’re prepared for it.

Non-Anomalous: You don’t need to put it in a box. Well, unless you’re trying to protect it from all the stuff around it that DOES need to put in boxes.

None: Oh for crying out loud what did I just say in the N/A section?

Null: You cannot put it in a box because it cannot exist, so don’t view it as something that exists.

Oblique: You might have put it in a box, it’s hard to tell right now since the general narrative structure that the SCP Foundation usually operates on is being altered.

Ogiel: You currently cannot put it in a box, and no efforts will be made now or in the future to put it in a box. Instead you’re just going to guard it and watch it to ensure nothing changes about it.

Olympus: You aren’t putting it in a box, because only your bosses know it exists. Assuming this Object Class actually exists in this reality.

Omnehet: Identical to Nehemoth, just run through the same infohazard that produced the latter.

Other: You put it in a box, and selected its Object Class from a drop-down menu.

Pagnum: It put itself in its own box. So now you’re watching to make sure that the box is satisfactory.

Pantokratōr: You can’t put it in a box because it’s too big. Guess you’ll have to wait until the next Smash Bros game, sorry.

Pausa: You’re no longer trying to keep it in a box because it doesn’t need to be in one, but it might need to be put in a box again in the future.

Petrus: You can’t prove it needs to be in a box, but you’re putting it in a box anyway because it’s too risky not to.

Principalis: You don’t put it in a box because you don’t know it exists. Your bosses do, though, and it’s their mission statement.

Prodest: You put it in a box. It’s useful. (WHY IS THIS AN OBJECT CLASS? NONE OF THAT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH CONTAINMENT?? SO WHAT IF IT’S USEFUL, IS THE FOUNDATION EVEN USING IT??? LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE OBJECT CLASS HAS GREATER REASON TO EXIST THAN THIS DOES. SCREW YOU PRODEST, YOU’RE THE WORST.)

Pudicitia: You put it in a box. While doing so you ended up hurting, damaging, or otherwise negatively affecting it. So now you’re helping it get better.

Radix: You put it in a box. Now it’s part of the chain of command.

[REDACTED]: Essentially the same as [DATA EXPUNGED]. Like. Obviously they’re different terms. But effectively they have the same result on what you’re able to do about it.

Rigoletto: It may or may not be difficult for you to put it in a box and keep it there. Depends on how people feel about it.

Robertson-Jackal: You put it in a box, and everything about that box is randomly generated (including the Object Class) to prevent its escape.

Saoshyant: You don’t put it in a box because it acts as your organization’s Patron Deity. Though considering the lore there might be multiple contenders for the title at this point.

Sapientia: Identical to Chhokmah, except not Jewish.

See Below: You attempted to put it in a box and what happened was pretty complicated so you’re just gonna talk about it in the bulk portion of the file for it. Somehow I can’t tell if this is better or worse than a lot of the other ones on this list.

Semel: Technically speaking this one doesn’t actually mean anything.

Sfae: You put it in a box, accompanied by a person or persons (possibly you) that must also stay in the box.

“Shadow’s Crown” Phenomenon: Fancy way of saying Thaumiel while avoiding certain effects.

Shrӧdinger: You put it in a box. In order to keep it in the box, you must record everything about it and connected to it. I can’t tell if this is funny or fitting.

Sistema: You put it in a box, but it’s made of a lot of smaller things, so putting it in a box will only work if all the things are together.

Simpatico: You have NO idea what is up with this thing or how to put it in a box, but it’s probably fine.

Skӧll: You put it in a box. Soon it will no longer need to be in a box. That, or it’s going to cause a lot of stuff (including itself) to escape their boxes with no end in sight. Or both!

Skótos: You put it in a box. You still don’t know a significant amount of things about it and how it works, but hey, at least it’s in a box!

Sofa: Analogous to Keter, approximately.

Spiritual: You can’t put it in a box because it transcends- okay, you know what NO. Stop with the metaphysical bullcrap we already have more specific Object Classes for all of this. And you, 4487, can shut up and die.

Spiteful Motherf*****: You put it in a box. It makes you really, REALLY angry at it.

Standard: The same thing as Safe, except it’s a robot who put it in a box and classified it.

Starveling: The Department of Surrealistics is probably on drugs.

Sunrays, Muted: Despite being sandwiched between Starveling and Super Keter, this one actually kinda makes sense in context.

Super Keter: You put it in a box while at Site-333. It probably still fits the definition of a “regular” Keter. Not that you’ll have any luck telling Site-333 that.

Symbolic: You only figuratively put it in a box. Also sorry did I say the Surrealistics Department was probably on drugs? I meant definitely.

TBD: Identical to Pending or Debated, but apparently used when ALL pertinent info is to be determined at a later time. Or to put it another way, you’re still in the process of putting it in a box, but you won’t be able to make any progress in that until later due to a complete lack of info.

Tempus: You put it in a box, but it messes with time, so you need to ensure that it has ALWAYS been in a box.

Tenebrarius: You cannot put it in a box because you are not allowed to know it exists. The same applies to your coworkers and bosses. Just you guys though, other people can learn about it.

Terminal: You put it in a box. You die. Now you’re in the box too.

Test: Doesn’t need to be put in a box as it doesn’t exist. This Object Class is reserved for dummy files used by bot testers.

the simpsons farting: I hope you guys understand how much making this list has broken me.

Thorleyan: You put two separate-but-identical things in identical boxes and ensure that they both stay identical and that they are aware that they are still identical.

Tiamat: It could become a huge threat to humanity. Buuuuut you can put it in a “box” by telling the world about all the other stuff you’ve put in boxes. No way that would go wrong.

Ticonderoga: You can’t put it in a box, but it doesn’t have to be put in a box.

Tiphereth: You put it in a box with something, and in order to keep it in the box you must routinely swap the other thing for another thing identical to the previous thing without it noticing.

Umbra: You may or may not be able to put it in a box. It has a direct effect on the appearance of other stuff that you’ll want to put in boxes.

Unclassed: You put it in a box (or at least attempt to), then deliberately avoid classifying it by the results.

Unconfirmed: Didn’t we already do this song and dance with Necrospar?

Uncontainable: Surprise surprise, you cannot put it in a box.

Uncontained: It is currently not in a box.

Undefined: You put it in a box, and you know how well that went down. You just can’t actually refer to it in any way for some reason, so you use this placeholder Object Class instead.

Unknown: Neither you or anyone else seems to know what is up with this, or how to put it in a box. But it probably needs one.

Urgent Reclassification Required: Another placeholder. Kind of exactly what it says. Don’t you wish they were ALL clear like this sometimes?

Uya: You can’t put it in a box YET because you haven’t found it, but you’re pretty sure if it doesn’t already exist it will eventually.

Yesod: Identical to Radix, but Jewish. I swear the SCP Foundation doesn’t have some weird antisemitic segregation going on, they just have so many Skips connected to Judaism that they have to clarify sometimes.

Youklid: Identical to Euclid, but you can’t document it properly so you have to verbalize it to a child to fill out the forms. Be very careful about these ones, they don’t usually end well.

World Ending?: You’re preparing to try and put it in a box, and you think it might be capable of, well, ending the world. Kind of a Placeholder Classification, not a real one. Pending before Pending for what might be really bad stuff.

Zeno: It took you a bit of effort to put it in a box, but it was never that much of a threat.

Zenzizenzizenzic: Remember what I said about the Surrealistics Department? If you see this Object Class, you are probably currently on their drugs. This applies to the Dishwasher Class too.

Zurvan: Similar to Enochian, except that it’s less that you *can’t* put it in a box because it’s a fundamental part of reality, and more that you shouldn’t.

53: You attempt to put it in a box, but this is difficult due to being unable to to gain much information about it, as well as the fact that it is actively trying to have an effect on you and your organization, among others. This may include trying to put you in a box.

Ѻмѐга-Титло: You put it in a box. You know it will inevitably escape the box, so you’ve constructed a convoluted pseudo-religion to manipulate the probability of its escape at any given moment to be later rather than sooner, in the hopes that you will be able to procrastinate said escape into never happening.

SubclassesNO I am NOT doing all the subclasses right now. I might do them if this is well received after I publish this online, but only after doing the Risk Classes and Disruption Classes first. Those seem more relevant as of late.

Now, the Fun Part:

WHICH ONE DID I MAKE UP?

[apollophanes]

Orphic Hymn to Dionysos

Dionysus I call loud sounding and divine

Fanatic god a two-fold shape is thine

Thy various names and attributes I sing

O first born thrice begotten Bacchic king

Rural, ineffable, two-form'd, obscure,

double-horn'd, with ivy crown'd, euion, pure

Bull-fac'd, and martial, bearer of the vine,

endu'd with counsel Eubouleos and divine:

Triennial, whom the leaves of vines adorn,

of Zeus and Persephone, occultly born

Immortal daimon, hear my suppliant voice,

give me in blameless plenty to rejoice;

And listen gracious to my mystic pray'r,

surrounded with thy choir of nurses fair.

Διονύσου, θυμίαμα, στύρακα

Κικλήσκω Διόνυσον ἐρίβρομον, εὐαστῆρα,

πρωτόγονον, διφυῆ, τρίγονον, Βακχεῖον ἄνακτα,

ἄγριον, ἄρρητον, κρύφιον, δικέρωτα, δίμορφον,

κισσόβρυον, ταυρωπόν, ἀρήϊον, εὔϊον, ἁγνόν,

ὠμάδιον, τριετῆ, βοτρυοτρὸφον, ἐρνεσίπεπλον.

Εὐβουλεῦ, πολύβουλε, Διὸς καὶ Περσεφονείης

ἀρρήτοις λέκτροισι τεκνωθείς, ἄμβροτε δαῖμον·

κλῦθι μάκαρ φωνῆς, ἡδὺς δ’ ἐπίπνευσον ἐνηής,

εὐμενὲς ἦτορ ἔχων, σὺν ἐυζώνοισι τιθήναις.

Dionúsou, thumíama, stúraka

Kiklḗskō Diónuson eríbromon, euastē̃ra,

prōtógonon, diphuē̃, trígonon, Bakkheĩon ánakta,

ágrion, árrhēton, krúphion, dikérōta, dímorphon,

kissóbruon, taurōpón, arḗïon, eúïon, hagnón,

ōmádion, trietē̃, botruotròphon, ernesípeplon.

Eubouleũ, polúboule, Diòs kaì Persephoneíēs

arrhḗtois léktroisi teknōtheís, ámbrote daĩmon;

klũthi mákar phōnē̃s, hēdùs d’ epípneuson enēḗs,

eumenès ē̃tor ékhōn, sùn euzṓnoisi tithḗnais.

[beatingdrumspouringwine]

Prayer 1 - Bakkhos

Holy Dionysos, You whirl about me, An energy I cannot place. May my clumsy feet find grace, May I join my steps with Yours, Bakkhos, may Your chaos become my peace.

[aliciavance4228]

I was searching various sources on the Internet about Perseus and Dionysus' war in order to provide @superkooku with an answer and found this part from the Dionysiaca:

"[The Argive river] Inakhos was witness to both [Perseus and Dionysos], when the heavy bronze pikes of Mykenai resisted the ivy and deadly fennel, when Perseus sickle in hand gave way to Bakkhos with his wand, and fled before the fury of Satyroi cyring Euoi; Perseus cast a raging spear, and hit frail Ariadne unarmed instead of Lyaios the warrior. I do not admire Perseus for killing one woman, in her bridal dress still breathing of love."

Later he says that she was armed and that he petrified her. Besides, aren’t you supposed to remain impartial and not express your personal opinions, Nonnus? Even your wanna-be objective narrator is an unreliable one.

[miss-m-calling]

I dream of a perfectly clear afternoon on the island where Aphrodite sits counting her blessings beside the erotic sea. I dream of rivers with a hundred mouths and mountains where the leaves turn over like silver fire. Take me there, Dionysos! O *daimon*! O Bakkhos! Take me somewhere ruled by the law of desire where we can dance you and dance you and never tire.

Euripides, Bakkhai (a new version by Anne Carson)

[dionysia-ta-astika]

Sons of Zeus

Adapted from the Dionysiaka Vol 47 by Nonnos of Panopolis

There it was: the city of Argos lay before them on the fertile plain of Argolis. Dionysos closed his fist tighter around his thyrsos. It was one of the major cult centres of Hera. This was her land. If she would strike him with madness again for bringing his cult to her city? His eyes darted nervously from the distant walls to the sky, watching for his brother Hermes. He had promised to bring news from the Argives. Ariadne squeezed his hand. "He'll come." And he did. Swift like the winds that carried him, the messenger of the gods appeared as a dot against the white clouds but he rapidly came closer until he landed by their side, inclining his head in greeting. Dionysos embraced his brother. "What news do you bring?" he asked anxiously. "Don't worry," Hermes reassured him, giving his ruddy cheek a caress, "The King of Argos is a son of Zeus like you and I. Kinship alone should open these gates in friendship." "Has our father ordered him to receive us as guests?" "Not exactly." "What makes you so sure, then?" Hermes opened his arms in a self-aggrandising gesture. "I know everyone." "I just..." Dionysos sighed. "We have been met with so much hostility. At every new place it's another struggle." Hermes swooped him up in his open arms. "I know. But listen, brother: I am certain of my judgement. I know King Perseus incredibly well. He has a kind heart." Dionysos rested his head on his brother's shoulders. He was so very tired of the constant struggle. But without a cult, he wouldn't be allowed to join the gods on Mount Olympos and all his suffering would have been in vain. Perseus. He knew that name. "Your eromenos?" "You know what? I will personally announce you." Hermes gave him a kiss and took to the air again. "If that isn't worthy of a young god, I don't know what is." ~~~ Perseus startled when Hermes came rushing in through an open window. "Hermes! I did not expect a visit from you so soon!" He turned to his advisors, servants, and suppliants. "Leave us." Hermes waited until they were alone before he kissed his lover. Nobody needed to know that their relationship had not ended after Perseus grew his first beard. "I'm not here for my pleasure alone," he said, his arms still affectionately wrapped around Perseus, "I bring an important message." Perseus frowned. "What is it? Important messages are rarely good news." "This one is. Have news of Dionysos or Bakkhos reached Argos yet?" "I don't think so. Who is he?" "A brother. A son of Zeus." Perseus shrugged. "Our father has many sons. What business does this Dionysos have with me?" "He is on a mission." Hermes absent-mindedly played with Perseus' hair. "Father has promised him ascension to Olympos to join the immortal gods if he succeeds in establishing a cult for himself." Perseus snorted. "Oh did he?" "Yes. I hope that you will welcome him to your city, help him on his quest." Perseus broke off from the embrace. "And why should I do that, Hermes? It's not like Zeus ever offered ME immortality or a place among the gods. The people of Argos already have a son of Zeus, worthy even of Hera. I am right here. They don't need Dionysos. These gates will remain closed!" "Perseus, come on!" "No! My father is Diktys for all I'm concerned. I received divine aid on my foolish quest for the head of Medusa. I am forever grateful for that. But did Zeus take any interest in me beyond this folly of my youth? No. So I won't take any interest in his plans for his other sons." Hermes frowned. Perseus wasn't wrong. Their father had nurtured Dionysos in his thigh for three months while Perseus had been cast out in a wooden chest with his mother, facing the open sea all by themselves. But should the aspiring wine god be punished for being favoured thus? "Are you not the least bit curious to meet him?" "No. And if that's all you're going to talk about, please leave. I have to tend to my kingdom." "You are inviting retribution if he does get deified. Maybe even if he doesn't. He has powers, Perseus." "I will deal with that problem once it presents itself." "Don't be like that, sweetness. We should all help and support each other, don't you think?" "No means no, Hermes! You don't get to sweettalk me on this. Leave me alone." "All right." Hermes climbed the window. "I understand that you are hurt. I won't say it's not justified. But you misdirect your anger." Perseus said nothing, turning his back on him. ~~ "I'm sorry," Hermes told Dionysos, "The gates of Argos will not open for you." "Oh." Dionysos looked crestfallen. Ariadne stroked his back. They had been met with resistance in so many places, it was easy to see why. Hermes had hoped that at least Perseus would welcome the fledgling god. But for once, he had misjudged his lover. "Better to move on to Mycenae and Korinth." "No. Argos is too important." Dionysos shook his thyrsos. "If the king wants a fight, I will bring it to him." Ariadne gave Hermes a worried glance. "Are they strong, the Argives?" she asked. "Yes. And Perseus bears the most deadly weapon of them all." "The head of Medusa," Dionysos whispered. "Exactly. It's not worth the risk, brother." Ariadne spoke again: "But if Lord Zeus deems our quest a failure because Argos is missing, the proud city of Hera, all of our efforts will have been for nought." "Ariadne is right." Dionysos' soft face grew grim. "We attack at dawn." "You are making a mistake, brother." "That may be so. But what choice do I have? I have lost too much already to turn my back on Argos." ~~ And so rosy-fingered Eos was witness when the heavy bronze spears of Argos clashed with the ivy and deadly fennel of the Bacchants, when Perseus, wielding his harpē, the sickle sword with which he had beheaded Medusa, was driven back by the fury of Dionysos and his Evoe! crying retinue. The Argive warriors fled before the army of women but their king returned on swift feet, holding a heavy knapsack. With loud voice he addressed his men: "Tremble not before only one snake wreathed in the hair of these women, when my harpē reaped such a harvest as the vipers of Medusa!" And with those words he lifted up the dreadful head of the gorgon which no eyes may see without paying the ultimate price. "It's nice to see you there, Dionysos, marching against me armed with your wretched foliage, playing at war. If you truly have the blood of Zeus in you, show your breeding!" Everywhere around Dionysos his Bacchants were gasping as they beheld the severed head of the gorgon, turning to stone immediately, lifelike statues silent and unmoving on the battlefield. Ariadne, armed with the thyrsos Perseus had mocked, was not saved by the armour she had lovingly been girded in. Her eyes went dull and her limbs stiffened as she gazed upon the wreathing vipers of Medusa. Within a heartbeat she was gone, only a likeness of stone in place of the living, breathing woman. Dionysos cried in rage and grief, tears stinging in his eyes. "Perseus! I will never surrender until I show Argos your throat pierced by my spear of ivy and your sword beaten by my leaves!" he roared in his pain. "Zeus my father will not save you, nor Athene my sister, nor Hera of Argos, however much she hates me! But I swear I will kill you, and the Argives shall see beheaded the man who beheaded Medusa." He was about to command his remaining retinue to charge at the enemy when Hermes appeared behind him on his winged sandals and pulled him into an embrace, stroking his long, dark hair and tried to calm him with friendly words and avert the ruin his two brothers wreaked upon each other: "Dionysos! Brother! This is madness! Your sweet bride, still breathing of love a moment ago, now takes her love to the grave. Come now, lay down your thyrsos, let the winds blow battle away, and bury your wife in peace here in Argos, where the image of heavenly Hera stands. I promise you, brother, she will be seen every night on the starspangled sky near Maia, my mother, among the seven travelling Pleiads. What could Ariadne wish more than this glorious fate of dying in battle, slain by the greatest hero alive? She lives in the heavens, giving light to the earth, until you can follow." He embraced him and kissed the tears away as they kept coming. "Will you allow me to make peace?" he asked. "Yes," Dionysos replied weakly, "I yield to you but not to him." "That is good enough for me." Hermes squeezed him before racing across the battlefield, avoiding the deadly countenance of Medusa. When Perseus saw him approach, he quickly shoved the ghastly head back into the sack. "Hermes!" "For the love you bear me, Perseus, end this fratricidal war and make peace." "Why should I? I have him defeated." "And what a feat that is." Hermes gestured at the Bacchants before them, half of them turned to stone, the other half weeping. "An army of women armed with ivy and fennel. Truly a deed worthy of song for generations to come. Make peace, Perseus, invite this brother you never knew into your city in friendship. You are not so different. Even if she is now all stone by your reckless hand, Dionysos saved Ariadne when she was left behind by her lover, sleeping on the sands beside an empty sea, Perseus, while you loosened the chains of Andromeda when you saw her in peril and offered the stone seamonster as a worthy bridal gift. Come, give sacrifice to Bakkhos and Zeus, and make amends to please this god's heart." Both Argives and Bacchants gathered together and struck up a song with nightly rites for Dionysos: the tambours rattled, the feet beat the ground, the torches blazed. Altars were red with bulls slaughtered in rows, one after another. And as the sacrifice burnt, Perseus and Dionysos made their peace, casting their deluding fury to the winds. FIN