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littledrummeraussie · 11 months

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tell me all the things that you couldn't before.

masterlist. | want to be added to my taglist?

warnings: brief mentions of sex. a nightmare. hurt/comfort. lots of loving for Ashton. badboy!mechanic!Ashton AU.

word count: 5435

author’s note: This fic was written back in January, 2020, as part of the infamous A Permanent Chase fic, which I'm not sure will ever see the light of day as it only lives in my head and my heart.

The original concept is the following (to help you understand the fic better):

Ashton (in the beginning appearing as Fletcher) comes back to Sydney, where he starts working at Calum's garage as a mechanic. Shortly after this he meets our girl and starts to pursue her. They do start dating, but after some complications happen, and she finds out Fletcher is not the person he tells people he is, but someone else (Ashton), and she quickly breaks things up between them.

What she doesn't realize is that she and Ashton have met before, just after graduation at a beach party, where they fell in love for a night, but never saw each other again. Ashton does recognize the girl, but she doesn't recognize him for a long time, until finally Ashton does tell her the truth about their past.

The story is a mess - the original idea included gangs and street racing in which Ashton also partakes, lots of chasing after the girl in different places and scenarios, who eventually starts to put together how Ashton really loves her and actually wants to protect her from things happening around the city. (This is a huge reason why I never really worked on the story - I couldn't decide on anything, so it's just a big mess.)

They eventually make up and finally kiss at another beach party (full circle), and decide that they want to start a relationship with each other. There are lot of added stories to them in my mind, all of them following the main story above.

I also realized over the years that in some ways they are kinda toxic, but I cannot help it, I love my babies so much. So if you have any additional questions, please feel free to ask them.

Feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

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It was well past midnight when you realized that there was something out of the ordinary. At first everything seemed to be normal, your night started like any other: you stopped by the garage after work, parking your car just outside the building and greeted the boys who were still working there. You’ve convinced Ashton to finish early, making Calum close up for the night, and dragged your boyfriend up the stairs to his flat.

He was in a really good mood, and with a cheeky grin he pulled you into the shower with himself. His hands were searching and grabbing at whatever body parts they could reach, and after he’d promised you the best fuck of your life, Ashton picked you up to cross the tiny apartment to his bedroom, where he made good on his promise. You were lying in a tangled mass afterwards, watching the last rays of sunshine peeking through the window, painting Sydney in the most beautiful shades of pink, orange and yellow.

You were ready to make some dinner, but Ashton preferred cuddle time, and held you close to his side while he ordered Thai food from one of his favourite places. You spent the time kissing and talking about your day until the guy arrived with your order, and you ate in comfortable silence in the kitchen, playing footsie all through dinner. Usually this was the time when you went out to have fun around town, or just lay on the couch, watching the TV mindlessly, but the last few weeks have been different.

Since you’ve decided to take up some courses to help you with your work, it meant that eventually you needed to take exams on them as well. You had your doubts when you first approached Ash with the idea, but he was supportive, and in his own way, he helped you with your studying and papers. It usually meant buying you coffee or letting you rant about your problems – or ordering food when he thought you could use the extra time. And his apartment was much quieter than your noisy neighbourhood. He did not mind you staying over if it meant cuddles, food sharing and sex – all three of those happened regularly, so he did not complain.

You have already started revising notes when Ashton came up to you and gave a kiss on your neck. You leaned back against his chest, looking up at him with a smile.

“You’re going to bed?”

“Yeah, I promised Calum that I will open in the morning, since someone decided to drag me away early,” he leaned forward to press another kiss on your forehead, his red locks falling over your face. “And I don’t want to keep you away from your notes and books, which are clearly more interesting than your own boyfriend.”

“How tragic,” you laughed, turning around on the kitchen chair to wrap your arms around him. “Please file a complaint, and I will talk to the management.”

“And what will I get as a consolation prize?” he quirked an eyebrow at you.

“Blowjobs.”

“Oh, plural? That doesn’t sound so bad,” Ashton grinned at you, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear. “When can I start collecting them?”

“You know how offices work – it might take a few weeks to get an answer,” you bit your lip to hide a smile, and Ash just huffed at you.

“If it was up to you, I wouldn’t get my blowjobs for the next 30 days or so,” his fingers found a way into your tied up hair, slowly pulling out strands and combing them back into an even messier bun. “Any way to file a complaint about filing complaints?”

“I might know someone who can help you,” you tilted your head forward, pressing a small kiss on the skin of his stomach, then quickly blew a raspberry on it. “But only during opening hours.”

“You are terrible,” he laughed, grabbing your face and pulling you closer to plant a kiss on your lips. “Alright, I’ll leave you to your notes.”

“Don’t hog the blankets,” you poked his side, and Ash laughed again, pushing your hand away. “Good night, Cardinal.”

“Is that a joke on my hair?”

“You tell me,” you winked at him, and he leaned back to give you another kiss.

“Good night, you monster.”

* * *

You knew something was up when you heard noises from the bedroom. The flat was really small, with no actual doors between the bedroom, the living area and the kitchen, and at first you thought the all-nighters you pulled would bother Ashton and he wouldn’t be able to sleep with the light on in the kitchen. But he was a heavy sleeper, still and calm, and the only thing that ever broke the silence was his light snoring. But not tonight.

The first thing you heard were the rustling sheets, a pillow thumping down onto the floor, the bed creaking under his weight. There was a loud gasp, more rustling, something hitting the nightstand or the bed frame, then another loud thump on the mattress. More gasps, more heavy breathing – you could hear the panic in the way he was trying to catch his breath, choking on air, like he couldn’t get enough oxygen into his lungs.

You pushed yourself out of the chair, running to the small bedroom to check on Ashton. He was tangled up in the sheets, body twisting around as he tried to kick off the covers, thrashing in his blanket prison. His arms were swinging, trying to grab onto something (or someone), hitting the pillows and the bed with every move. He pushed his head back into the pillow, turning it left and right as he was panting, his Adam’s apple moving almost in a frantic, panicked way.

He was no stranger to nightmares – when he was exhausted or just had a bad day, he would go to bed early, resting his head on your stomach, hugging your body close to him like a pillow, and that usually did the trick. He slept soundly and without interruption. But sometimes he was just so lost in his own head that he forgot about it all, not caring about the dreams sneaking into his sleepy mind, and he usually woke with a start in the middle of the night. He would curl his body around yours, telling you that he’s okay, he just had a bad dream, he will fall back to sleep soon – he only ever asked you to hold his hand during these moments.

But tonight was different, Ashton never had a nightmare like this, one that physically shook him. He was fighting so hard to wake up, but nothing seemed to work. You dropped onto the mattress, climbing closer, and grabbed him by his shoulders, shaking him with all the strength that you had.

“Ashton! Ashton, wake up! Ash! Wake up!”

Suddenly he bolted up, eyes wide open, staring at the wall and taking in a lungful of air, making himself dizzy in the process. You shifted closer, climbing between his legs, and wrapped your arms around his trembling body. You held him close, running your fingers over his back, murmuring soft words into his ear as he buried his face in your neck, taking deep breaths, trying to calm his hammering heart.

“I’m here, Ash, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

He locked his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, never loosening his grip on you. You ran your hand up to his shoulder, lightly massaging his tense muscles, caressing his neck, brushing your fingers over his hair. His skin was cold and sweaty, his hair wet and sticking to his forehead. His breathing was slowing, and you moved your head to press a small kiss on his temple. He tensed for a second, but then melted into your arms once again.

“It’s alright,” you whispered, still stroking the red locks at the back of his head. “It’s over. It was just a dream, it’s over. I’m here. You’re awake. It’s okay.”

His breath was hot on your neck as he inhaled deeply, nuzzling his face back into your skin. His muscles were slowly relaxing, but he was still tense and sweaty, and a shiver ran through his body. He tried to burrow closer to get more of your warmth, and you let him stay in your arms like this for a few more minutes. When you could feel he was a bit more relaxed, you pulled back a little, lifting his head up to look at you. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, and it took him a few seconds to get out of his daze.

Ashton’s gaze skipped over yours, instead focusing on the chain hanging from your neck. The silver ring he gave you almost a year ago was hooked on a thin necklace, the weight of the metal resting between your breasts, a comfort you never knew you needed. You still remembered the time when he wore it on his finger, playing with it whenever he started getting nervous. He called it a good luck charm, something he desperately needed while he was chasing after you. But once he got hold of your heart, he gave it to you – since then it became something much more than just a piece of jewellery. For you: a reminder; for others: a warning.

His clumsy fingers wrapped around the ring, slightly tugging on it. You slowly tilted his head up again, trying to catch his eyes. His hazel ones finally found your gaze, and you gave him a small smile, lightly running your fingers over his stubbly jaw.

“Hey, you’re okay?”

Silence, then a nod.

“How about you go and take a shower? Get warmed up,” you rubbed his arms, trying to warm his still cold skin. “And I will change the sheets.”

Another nod.

Ash let go of your necklace, slowly peeling himself out of the bed, starting to go to the bathroom, then stopped, looked back at you. You gave him another encouraging smile, nodded at him that it’s okay, you both will be fine, after which he finally made his way out of the room. When the lock clicked and the shower started up, you let out a breath you were holding back. A thousand questions were running through your mind, but you didn’t want to take too much time thinking about them. You wanted to make sure Ashton was comfortable after his nightmare, that he can come back and relax into the bed, wrapped in your arms, and sleep off this horrible experience.

You started stripping off the sweat soaked sheets, pulling out a fresh set from the drawer, working methodically in changing them. After that you opened the window, letting in fresh air, the slight breeze clearing away the remaining shadows from the room. You reached into another drawer, choosing a soft pair of sweatpants for Ashton, and finally went to the kitchen, making tea, waiting for him to finish up.

The lock on the bathroom door clicked, and it opened with a slight squeak. Ash stood behind the door, a towel wrapped around his waist, water dripping on the tiles from his red hair. You stepped to him, holding the pants out for him. He took them from your hands, his fingers brushing against yours as he did, and that made him look at you.

“I made you tea,” you nodded towards the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe. “If you want some.”

“Thanks,” his voice was quiet and small, and he coughed a little to make his throat work. “I– I’ll be there.”

“Take your time.”

You stepped back to the kitchen, piling up your books and notes to shove them to the corner of the table. You knew there was no way you would go back to studying, not tonight. Any exam could wait – Ashton needed you now.

After a few more minutes he emerged from the bathroom, shuffling to the kitchen, and dropped down onto the chair next to you. He sighed deeply, then leaned forward, resting both his arms on the table, and put his head down on them, hiding his face. You watched him, how his back moved as he was breathing in and out. His muscles were still tense, you could see it from the way he was holding himself. You scooted a bit closer, and slowly put your hand on his elbow, a tentative touch. When he did not flinch away, you started to lightly rub his arm, up to his shoulder, down on his back, then back up again.

When you reached the back of his neck, Ash moved his head to the side, looking at you as you stroked his drying locks with your fingers. His hazel eyes were searching you as you were working through the tangled ends, brushing them back from his face. He let out another small sigh when you touched his face, caressing his cheek, which made him nuzzle into your hand.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked, resting your hand back on his arm.

Ashton looked at you for another second, then hid his face back in the crook of his elbow. You waited for him, you knew he needed time to work through the thoughts in his head, to decide if he wanted to face them again. He slowly pushed himself up, reaching for the mug in front of him, taking a sip of his cooling tea. His fingers were running over the rim, circling it mindlessly as he focused on something in front of him.

“You… left me.”

There was silence in the kitchen – his words left you speechless. It sounded silly at first; you knew how you felt about him, how first his attention was unusual, almost uncomfortable at times, and that you wished he would give you just an ounce of space; how you started to miss him when he wasn’t around, how you watched over your shoulder if he would appear somehow, stalk behind you, keeping his distance, but never taking his eyes off of you. You knew he had his reasons to do so, and you learned to love him for that – it wasn’t so hard, he found a way to your heart, and you willingly let him in. You never wanted to let go of him ever again.

“I have no intention in doing that,” you reached out to take his hand in yours, squeezing it. “And no reason.”

“But what if you do?” he whispered, pulling his hand away. “What if you find one?”

“Ash… is this something you’ve been… thinking about lately?” you asked softly, your fingers going up to your necklace, running them over the ring.

He did not answer; his eyes were still trained on the same spot as before. He was drumming on the tabletop, the rhythm getting more and more frantic and complicated. You desperately wanted to reach out and stop him, to make him look at you, to let him know you were there, you were listening, that you wanted to understand. But it seemed he was lost in his own thoughts – thoughts that brought out a nightmare that clearly shook him to the core.

“Ashton,” you said in a small voice. “Don’t push me away. Please.”

Those words made him look at you. Those words were his words, begging you to give him another chance, to make up for the mistakes he made when you met again. They were Ashton’s words, not Fletcher’s; they made you stop in your tracks, made you listen to him. They broke you in a way you’ve known you will never be broken again. That was the first time you’ve really let him into your heart, and you never wanted him to leave.

Ash sighed deeply, slowly turning around in his chair to face you, though his head was down. His fingers nervously twitched in his lap, and he started wringing his hands, looking for the rings he usually wore to play with. He once told you that sometimes he felt naked without them, and he liked wearing at least one to mindlessly spin it around, or take it off and put it back on. You moved a little closer, pushing your knees against his, slowing down his bouncing feet. Leaning forward you reached for him, pushing your fingers between his tightly clasped ones, and interlocked them. There was a slight shake to his hands, and you gently ran your thumb over his skin, trying to calm him again.

“I’m sorry,” he finally breathed, slowly looking up at you from under his lashes. “I’m just… unsure.”

“Of me?” you tilted your head to the side, trying to see all of him. He just shook his head.

“Of myself,” Ashton answered, rubbing your hands with his thumbs. “If I’m good enough for you.”

“Of course you are,” you squeezed his fingers in yours, pushing your forehead against his. “You are my Ashton. How could you not be good enough for me?”

“That’s not what everyone else thinks,” he said with a humourless laugh. “People talk, all over town.”

“Some neighbourhood gossip won’t make me leave you,” you shook your head. “What could they tell me that I don’t already know? I know you, Ash, I know who you are.”

“You have the heart of an angel, and I’m the devil who’s holding you back,” he whispered, tilting his head down.

“Maybe I’ve had enough of heaven,” your hand went to his jaw, slowly tipping his chin up to look back at you. “If hell is where you are, then I’m packing all of my bags to be with you.”

“Y/N…”

“Or maybe they have it the wrong way around,” you continued. “Cause you definitely feel like heaven to me. Maybe it’s not their definition of the place. But screw them – my heaven is all tattooed up and gorgeous.”

A blush coloured his cheek, and he moved closer to rest his forehead on your shoulder, his legs bracketing yours. You were tangled up in each other, silently sitting in the kitchen for a few minutes, Ashton’s hand on your thighs while you played with the hair at the nape of his neck. Then he slowly pulled back, rubbing his eyes – was it tears, or sleep, you didn’t know – and looked back at you again.

“Your parents still hate me,” he added, resting his elbow on the table, leaning his head against his hand.

“They hate everyone,” you answered with a shrug. “They even hate me. That’s not an accomplishment.”

“I’m sure they would prefer anyone else over me,” he searched you with his eyes. “Someone who can give you a real future.”

“What do you think, what does a girl need?” you quirked an eyebrow at him, and it was his turn to shrug.

“Financial security?” he asked, and when you rolled your eyes at him, he continued. “Someone like that guy you work with – what’s his name? Liam?”

“A suit and tie?” you shook your head, putting your hands on his knees to lean closer. “Really, Ash? When I can have you, your jackets and chains, and the fire red Mustang? Well, tough luck, because you’re stuck with me for good.”

“But am I enough for you?” Ashton sighed, reaching for you and holding your face in his hands, making you really look at each other. “I wanna give you the world. Hell, I wanna give you the galaxy. The universe. But I’m just this guy, fixing cars and running my mouth at people. And you… you’re smart and beautiful and could get anyone you set your eyes on.”

“And that’s you,” you nuzzled your face against his hand, looking at him pleadingly. “You’re the only one I want.”

“What if Liam asked you on a date? Or one of the guys at that course? What if you get along so much that you realize that you could just… do better than me?” his gaze slipped down to the ring resting against your chest, saying the next words looking at it. “You know I would do anything for you… but I know I can’t keep you forever.”

“Ash, how long have we known each other?” you asked, reaching for him, brushing his hair behind his ear.

“7 or 8 years. Dunno. Why is that important now?” he sighed, shaking his head.

“What do you think… how many guys did I date during that time?” you questioned him, but did not wait for an answer. “Only two. And you wanna know their names?”

“Please don’t kick me when I’m already down,” he whispered, but you’ve had enough.

“They are Fletcher and Ashton. They are you, Ash. I might have had a few flings and one night stands, and sure, I went on a few dates with guys. But it was only ever you I had a real thing with. It was only you who was ever good enough for me.”

“Then why did you even go on those dates if you didn’t want anything from them?” the question left Ashton before he could stop himself, and you could see him flinch when he realized what he’d said.

“I wanted to know how I felt about other people. I wanted to give myself a chance, see how we could work out. You know – if you never try, you’ll never know,” you shrugged a little while reaching for his hand, slowly interlocking your fingers with his. “And I– I think I wanted to know how you would react.”

“Remember the hole in the wall?” he quirked an eyebrow at you, and you needed to stifle a laugh.

“I was always waiting for you to show up during your dates,” you confessed, squeezing his hand in yours. “You know, just crash them. I wanted you to crash them. I know it took me a long time to let you in…”

“Well, half the time you were mad at me,” he said, leaning closer and resting his forehead against yours. “For one reason, or the other.”

“And in the other half I desperately wanted you to kiss me,” you finished, nuzzling your nose to his.

“You know I would have done it in a second,” he breathed. “I wanted to walk up to every single one of those guys and tell them that you’re… that you’re…”

“Come on,” you whispered, licking your lips. “Say it.”

“Mine.”

“Don’t think I was never asked on dates at my job or at school,” you gazed at him while saying the next part. “I was, numerous times. You know what I say to them when they call me pretty? Thank you, my boyfriend thinks so too. Or when they invite me for coffee? Thanks, but Ash is already bringing me some. And when they don’t want to let it go, I say: trust me, you do not want to meet him.”

“Are you really saying those things?” he asked you, and you nodded.

“I’m also implying that I’m having the best sex of my life, and I don’t plan on giving up on that,” you finished with a smile.

A moment later Ashton started laughing – it was his first real laugh of the night, and he hid his face, trying to stifle his giggles. It was the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. Suddenly the night wasn’t that dark, but instead everything seemed to start to glow a little bit. It was Ashton’s smile, shining through the blacks, dark blues and grays of the night, warming up the chilling air around you, shifting everything back to your usual teasing, but loving normal, the one you’ve built up together.

“I love your smile,” you whispered when he finally looked back at you, still trying to catch his breath. “I know I’ve always told you that you should wipe that grin off of your face, but god, I’m happy you never did. I just… there are so many things I just love about you that I’ve thought I hated before. Like your snake tattoo, or your loud car and obnoxious sunglasses… your terrible jokes and sexual innuendos, and how you never fail to say them at the worst times… I love your stupid red hair, and…”

“My hair is not stupid,” Ash mumbled, a smile still playing at the corner of his mouth.

“No,” you shook your head, reaching once again for him to brush your fingers through his red locks. “No, it’s not.”

Ash nuzzled closer, closing his eyes for a moment to enjoy the caresses and light tugs on his hair, making a small noise that almost sounded like purring. He turned his head, brushing his lips against your wrist as you wrapped a curl around your finger, pushing it behind his ear, stroking your hand down his cheek and jaw. Hazel eyes followed the movement of your fingers until you ran your thumb over his chin, and his gaze finally found yours.

“Can I kiss you?” you asked him softly, pulling back a little to see his face.

“Are you asking for permission?” there was another small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, and a slight blush coloured his cheeks.

“Just checking if you are in the right headspace,” you returned his smile, and he nodded shortly.

“I would love that.”

Without a second thought you leaned forward, one of your hands sliding up the back of his neck and into his hair, the other one cradling his jaw, tilting his head a little to the side. His breath was hot on your face as you moved closer, cheeks and noses brushing, lips slowly pressing against each other – one soft, the other slightly chapped. You kissed his bottom lip, moving to the top, nuzzling closer and closer, until he opened his mouth and let you kiss him deeper, brushing his tongue against yours as you both tasted the other. Ash made a needy little sound as you nipped on his lips and kissed his chin, his jaw, brushing against his cheek as you nudged your nose against the soft skin behind his ear.

“I chose you, Ashton. I’ve been choosing you every single day since that night on the beach, and I’ll do it as long as you let me. I’m freakin’ in love with you if that hasn't been clear before,” you breathed softly, kissing the shell of his ear. “You’ve been on my mind for the last 8 years, and if that’s not love, then you have to find a better word for me, because I’m failing here, and you know I’m good with words. But you just have this effect on you where I completely lose my sanity, and I would gladly give up on it forever, if it meant I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Ash reached for you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you out of your chair, and sitting you on his lap. His hand rested on your thigh, keeping you close to his body, as his fingers ran through your hair, guiding your face to his again. It was his turn to kiss you, and he started with the softest of touches, just to feel each other’s breath on your lips, the warmness of the other’s skin, the shiver running through you when you’ve finally lost your patience. Noses and lips pushed together, and he kissed you deeply, tongue brushing against yours as you were holding onto his shoulders. His scent clouded your mind, his touch burnt your skin, and you never wanted this moment to end.

“I love you,” Ash pulled away just enough to brush his lips against yours as he spoke. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

You pressed another kiss on his temple, cuddling closer in his lap to feel as much of his skin as you could. His arms wrapped around you more strongly, and he rested his head on your shoulder, pushing his face into your neck. For a few minutes you’ve stayed like this – slow caresses on waists and backs, fingers brushing over hair and tattoos, lips leaving small kisses wherever they could.

“Come on,” you ran your thumb over Ashton’s cheek. “I think it’s time we go back to bed.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to keep you away from your studying,” he started apologizing, but you shook your head, smiling at him.

“Screw exams. You’ll always be my first priority,” you tugged a little on his hair, tilting his head up towards you. “How does that sound to you?”

“Like something I’ve always wanted from you,” Ash returned your smile, then reached for your hand to kiss your knuckles. “Thank you, beautiful.”

You climbed down from his lap and reached for him to pull him up from the chair. You made our way back to the bedroom where the sheets were freshly changed and the pillows fluffed up just as Ashton liked it. He hesitated for a moment – the nightmare was still fresh in his mind, and even after you’ve talked through everything, he was still a little bit shaken from it.

“It’s alright,” you leaned against his side, pressing a kiss on the tattoo on his arm. “I’m here now.”

“I’m– scared to fall back to sleep,” he admitted, then sighed deeply. “It’s stupid, I know.”

“No, Ash. It’s perfectly normal,” you pushed yourself up on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Don’t ever feel ashamed, especially not because of your dreams. You’re human, it’s okay to fall sometimes. I’ll always be here to pick you up.”

“How did I get so lucky?” he turned to you, gathering you in his arms for a hug, resting his head on top of yours.

“Must have been that lucky charm of yours,” you answered with a smile, feeling the ring resting between your bodies.

“You are my lucky charm,” Ashton whispered, brushing the hair back from your face.

“Well, then you should definitely hold onto me.”

He huffed at you with a smile, shaking his head. You pulled him down on the bed, both of you getting comfortable under the blankets – Ash scooted as close to you as he could, nuzzling his face between your head and shoulder. You wrapped your arms around him, letting him rest his weight on you, running your fingers through his hair.

“You smell so good,” he mumbled against your skin, pushing his nose to your pulse point. “Am I not too heavy?”

“You’re perfect where you are,” you continued brushing your fingers over his curls, skimming them over the back of his neck, down his shoulders, then back up again. “How are you feeling?”

“Like maybe I will be able to fall asleep,” he breathed, then reached for the ring hanging from your neck. “Is it okay if I stay like this?”

“Your peace of mind is worth every numb limb and hours spent awake,” you kissed his forehead, then the hand holding onto the ring. “You would do the same for me. And just so you know, you make an excellent pillow.”

“You too,” he closed his eyes, resting his hand back on your side, cuddling close. “Will you… will you hold my hand? Please?”

Without another word you slid your fingers against his, interlocking them. He squeezed your hand in return, letting out one last sigh as he slowly let go of all the tension that kept him awake. His body melted against yours, muscles relaxing as his breathing evened out, and in a few minutes all you could feel was his light snoring tickling your neck. You brushed your fingers through his hair again, pressing one last goodnight kiss on his forehead before resting back against your pillows.

Ashton slept soundly in your arms, head resting on your shoulder, arm thrown over your waist, fingers interlocked on the bed. He fit perfectly against you, his weight all the comfort you needed in your life. You would have stayed up all night just to make sure he had no more nightmares, but his soft sleepy sounds slowly lulled you to sleep too. The last thing you remembered was his lips brushing against your neck as he shuffled in his sleep, and you fell asleep with a smile on your face. You knew for sure he was your forever – and you planned on reminding him of that every single day for the rest of your lives. Even if it meant chasing away his nightmares every night. Because he was worth it.

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin fanfic #afic: a permanent chase #series: a permanent chase #ashton irwin fanfiction #fiction time

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maluminspace · 4 years

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All of the following works were written by me (maluminspace) and are not to be posted on this or any other site without my permission.

All explicit content is marked with *

A Sexy Turn (Michael/Female reader for @h0tsos‘s birthday)*

Lovable But You’re Just Trouble (Ashton/Female Reader) - coming soon

Main Masterlist

Michael Masterlist

Calum Masterlist

Ashton Masterlist

Luke Masterlist

Last Updated: 20/03/2020

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ghostoflhs · 5 years

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gang!cashton on their way to save y/n🥺😩🤙

#lmfao idk #5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum hood 5sos #ashton irwin 5sos #cth #afi #ch #ai #badboy!5sos #badboy!calum #badboy!cal #badboy!ashton #gang!5sos #gang!calum #gang!ashton

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calum-h · 4 years

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Calum Hood + black

#5 seconds of summer #5sos #5sos edit #calum hood #calum thomas hood #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #michael clifford #lowkey turned this into a badboy!cal moodboard #no regrets #moodboard

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lukesbum · 5 years

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Dark Heart: Part One

a/n: hi guys/anyone who stumbles upon this! this is my first fic and i’ve been wanting to write this story for a while, so if there are any kinks please give me some slack until i get the hang of things!! like/share/give me feedback!! im going to be posting this in parts and i think there are going to be a lot! im already editing part two, so give that a read when i post it!!

a hogwarts!5sos fic. enjoy.

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Rosemary hated potions.

The professor never had office hours, the room smelt like burning hair, and frankly she just wasn’t very good at it. She would read and read and read, practice tons, and had potions memorized to the point where she could recite the ingredients like you could recite the alphabet, but for some ungodly reason her perfectly measured components would blend together in every and any way but the way they should have.

Her best friend Mikey would try to help her out, he showed her all of his tips and tricks that earned him an A in potions every year, but his tricks weren’t in the recipe. If she couldn’t even master the recipe then why in god’s name would she stray from it???

“My way is just so much easier, Rosie.” Mikey would say, shaking his head and laughing at the frizz her hair was taking on by the second. “If you do what I’m telling you to do then it’ll make it easier to get a perfect end result.”

“Mikey, I can’t just...not follow the directions.” Rosemary had told him this time after time, but he just wouldn’t drop it.

It wasn’t until her professor asked her to stay after one day that she regretted not listening to her friend.

“I want you to work with Ashton on your upcoming project. He’s my top student, you could learn a lot from him.”

“Who even is Ashton?” The thought of working with a stranger on something that was such a large part of her grade put a pit in her stomach and she could feel her palms beginning to sweat. “And isn’t Michael top of the class? I’ve been working with him and-”

“I adore Michael, I really do, and while he has been earning nearly perfect scores I think Ashton would be a much better teacher.” The professor shrugged and gave Rosemary a small smile.

“Well, why can’t I just meet with you? I know you don’t do office hours but-”

“Miss Dare, please. You’ll be working with Ashton Irwin and that’s final. I’ve asked him to meet you here tomorrow at noon, does that work?”

Rosemary just nodded, not wanting to talk back to her professor for a second time.

She didn’t even have the energy to go back to the common room, solving a riddle did not sound appealing when Rosemary was giving herself a headache from worrying so much. Rosemary had her friends and that was that. She never really went beyond them because her anxious interior presented a somewhat bitchy exterior that strangers got a taste of and chose to leave it at that. Even Calum considered never talking to her after the first night they met. After both being sorted into Ravenclaw, the two shy first years found themselves seated together at a then very intimidating table full of older kids who already knew each other. Rosemary kept giving Calum clipped answers to all of his questions and wouldn’t look up from the plate she was picking at. To say he was surprised when she sat with him in the common room the next day- even if they just sat in silence while he drew in his sketchbook and Rosemary read- would be an understatement.

Later, Rosemary found herself sitting with Calum and one of his friends- a Gryffindor- in the great hall for dinner. His friend was okay, she had met him more than a few times at this point and could tolerate him for the time she was forced to hang out with him (Calum never forced Rosemary to hangout, but she wasn’t going to deny Calum of having one other friend just because of her pre-decided dislike towards Gryffindors).

“Luke,” She interrupted whatever Calum was saying to pose her question. “Do you know an Ashton?”

“Ashton Irwin?”

“Uh,” Rosemary pursed her lips and thought for a moment. “I think so. Do you know anything about him?”

“Do I?” Luke let out a mix between a laugh and a sigh. “Yeah I know him. Why? You fancy him?”

“No. No, god no. I don’t even know who he is. My potions professor wants me to work with him on our next project.” With a shrug, she chose to omit the fact that the reason she was paired with him was because he was exelling and she was not.

Luke tapped his ringed fingers against the table, he was always trying to add something different to his uniform to make it..well, less uniform. Rings, painted nails, even makeup were all things he dabbled in. Honestly, Luke was hot. If it weren’t for the gossip Mikey had told her about how he’s been working his way around all the Hufflepuffs in their year then she would totally go for him.

“Well, Ashton’s a bit of a dick. I don’t think he’s rude, but he’s not pleasant to be around. I had divination with the blockhead and he was just kind of an asshole, didn’t even try and wrote off the class as bullshit.” Luke shrugged. “I got on well with him though. Overall a nice guy, I’m sure he’ll cooperate for your project.”

Rosemary nodded, the information made her a little less on edge about the whole situation. “Thanks. I’m meeting him tomorrow at noon.”

“Where?”

She looked at Calum with her brows drawn together. “The potions classroom?? Where else?”

“I just wanted to know. Jeez.”

With that the raven haired girl let out a sigh and started to stand. “Can we go now? Both of us?”

Calum rolled his eyes. “You just go, ya grump. I’ll meet you later.”

“Calum I just don’t have the energy to stand there and not be able to figure out the riddle. Last time a first year had to let me in. A first year.” Rosemary pouted. “Please? I’ll give you whatever homework answers you want.”

“You really think I trust your potions homework?” Calum smiled and stood. “Bye Luke.”

___

Rosemary had been sitting in the potions room since five minutes before noon and twenty minutes later she was still alone. Leave it to her to not appreciate Mikey’s help and be left to work with some lazy, rude, probably overall dumb-

“Are you Rose?”

Rosemary jumped from her stool and placed a hand over her chest. Jesus. Very smooth

“Hello?? Don’t tell me you’re stupid and deaf.”

She finally turned to face him. “Excuse me?”

And she thought Luke was hot.

Ashton was tall and had broad shoulders, his hair fell in loose waves to the nape of his neck and one curl sat on his forehead. He wore his uniform without a tie and had his pant legs rolled so you could see his deep green socks peeking out. His sleeves were rolled to his elbows exposing his forearms.

The boy smirked and walked towards her, placing a book down on the table and leaning back on it with his elbows. Rosemary took in his uniform one more time, of course he was a Slytherin. His whole presence just carried cockiness with it and, frankly, she didn’t have the patience for that.

“You heard me. I’m Ashton by the way.” He stuck out a hand and all she could do was stare at his lopsided grin and bite the inside of her cheek. “Pleasure.”

Turning away from him, she opened her textbook and leaned forward to read the directions printed inside of it.

“Are you ready to start?” Ashton took a step closer to you, he was too close now and you could hear your heart beating in your ears.

Rosemary cleared her throat. “Yeah, but can you not stand so close to me?”

“Why sweetheart? Am I making you nervous?”

“Just-” She took a deep breath. “Personal space. Please.”

Surprisingly, Ashton moved to stand on the other side of the table and set himself up across from her. Once everything was in its place he held his hands out in front of himself. “Good?”

“Uh. Yeah, thanks.” She set up her own cauldron and avoided his eyes. “And it’s Rosemary.”

“What?”

“My name isn’t Rose. It’s Rosemary.”

Ashton let out a chuckle and raised a brow at her. “Same thing, darling.”

“Rosemary.” She huffed, seeing how her afternoon was going to turn out.

“Fine. Rosemary. Let’s start.”

Ashton turned out to be an okay teacher, just not a very friendly one. He followed what was written exactly and worked at a slow pace so Rosemary could keep up. She couldn’t help but stop to look at him a couple times, how could she have not noticed him before? His confident stature was one that demanded attention and even the sound of his voice was sexy. With tousled hair and large hands that knew exactly when to reach up and adjust it, she couldn’t see one flaw in his appearance. Even the flaw she could detect, his attitude, seemed forgivable when she was looking at him; his eyes and jawline, his prominent adam’s apple, and-

“Hello, did you hear me? Let’s call it a day, my arms are starting to get sore from stirring.” Ashton pushed a strand of lock from his forehead and shut his book, looking up at Rosemary as if inviting her to do the same.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Are you doing anything right now?”

She stared at him for a moment.

What?

“You mean after this?”

Ashton shrugged. “Well we’re done now so. What are you doing now?”

“Oh, uh,” Rosemary started packing things into her bag and kept her eyes trailed on the ground. “I’m supposed to meet with my friend Michael and-”

“Fuck him. Come with me.”

Excuse me? “Michael is my best friend so-”

“He’s a Puff right? I know ‘im. It’s fine, he won’t mind.”

“What? How-”

“Well we-”

“Ashton.” Rosemary rolled her eyes and swung her bag over her shoulder. “Stop interrupting me. It’s really fucking rude.”

“Watch your mouth, sweetheart.” Ashton’s smile fell and he took a step towards her.

Oh. Rosemary’s mouth went dry and she knew the right reaction should be anger. The audacity of this boy to tell her how to speak as if she were a child? How dare a complete stranger stand there and reprimand you with that look. Although those were truly her thoughts, her body betrayed her. Her breath hitched in her throat and she knew Ashton could tell, her bottom lip went between her teeth and she felt heat in her cheeks.

“C’mon. You’ll have fun.” Ashton passed Rosemary and at the same time took her bag from her shoulder, shrugging it onto his own and standing in the doorway, expectantly. “Please?”

As if she had a choice.

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riebellion · 6 years

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Calum x Black girl

Badboy!Cal

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xdesamorx · 6 years

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I love everything about you, the good and the bad, I'll support you in everything, I love you.

(if you like posts like this, this is my new account about our boys: xvsosx// si te gustan posts como éste, aquí te dejo mi nueva cuenta sobre nuestros chicos: xvsos) 🖤

#amor #frases #citas #cita #ashton irwin #ashton 5sos #ashton fletcher irwin #ashton 5 seconds of summer #5sosfam #5sos #boyfriend #cute boys #boys #boy #badboy #redlight

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joyfulmcucat · 6 years

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Never Enough | Luke Hemmings (sur Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/lJFfqNKC7Q Wattys 2015 Winner of the People's Choice Award! "You have to realize, of course, that love doesn't always save the people you want to save." Pulling her way through the mayhem that is the NYC fashion industry, twenty-year-old Sierra finds herself hanging onto her dreams and the last shred of sanity she has left when she lands her dream job, the…

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5sosfanfictioncatalogue · 14 days

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Badboy!Michael Masterlist

“Ah, sorry Doll.” (ao3) - cliff0rd michael/luke T, 4k

Summary: Luke is a shy, quiet boy who works in a small Café and Bad boy Mikey just loves seeing him blush.

Arthurian Romances (ao3) - therjolras michael/ashton T, 5k

Summary: Ashton’s in a bit of a tangle when he’s rescued by a purple-haired knight-in-leather-jacket.

Bad Boys Need Love Too (ao3) - hxilzy michael/luke M, 1k

Summary: Michael is the bad boy of his high school and Luke is the complete opposite.

Or.

Luke and Michael fuck in a janitor's closet.

Daydream In Blue (ao3) - pilotmikey michael/luke N/R, 3k

Summary: Luke is the prettiest flower child around, and Michael wants to raw him.

Bonus: Michael calls Luke 'Flower'.

do the things that you’d only read about (ao3) - heartbreakgirl michael/luke N/R, 5k

Summary: When he looks over, Michael’s eyes are open and he’s grinning from ear to ear.

“I love you.”

He smiles shyly, eyes rolling fondly. “I love you too, Michael.”

or, book worm Luke & bad boy Michael

Lost Hearts (ao3) - CliffordAffliction ot4 E, 177k

Summary: Ashton, Luke, Calum and Michael live in four different worlds in high school and each one of them is in love with someone who loves someone else. This can’t possibly end well…or can it?

More than the Storm (ao3) - JetBlackHeart michael/luke, calum/ashton E, 11k

Summary: Luke isn't very good at chemistry, is very quiet, and has a thing for boys with tattoos and facial piercings. Michael is very good at chemistry, has a rebellious attitude, and likes to flirt with cute blonde boys.

A generic highschool AU where Calum gets wet, Luke gets scared, Michael gets woken up, Ashton gets a phonecall, and everyone gets something a bit more than the storm.

say you want me and dont be nice (send those shivers running down my spine) (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum N/R, 5k

Summary: :+: Calum and Michael are in gangs, and when Calum gets slightly turned on by the gun in Michael’s hands, things get dirty :+:

snap backs and tattoos (ao3) - crankgameplays michael/calum N/R, 3k

Summary: Calum Hood is 16, almost 17, when hes warned to stay away from Michael Clifford. His dad catches a gaze of him from the kitchen window and hes got a new tattoo that’s wrapped around his pale arm and there’s tufts of pink hair peeking out from his snap back and oh my fucking god is that a fucking eyebrow piercing. Calum has died and gone to heaven. Or hell. Maybes hes being a little dramatic. Whatever. But his dad turns to him and he goes,

“Calum, I want you to stay away from that Clifford boy,” pointing a finger in the direction of his son. “Hes no good.” And Calum nods and mumbles, yes dad, and walks to his room and that’s that.

But really. No one ever listens to their dads.

This is the Beat of My Heart (ao3) - bogshops michael/luke M, 22k

Summary: "It was just like any other day; the blond boy had decided to walk home, saying he needed to take a breath, and as he finished walking down the staircase that lead inside the Church, he spotted a different face in the crowd. An odd boy staring deeply at the various faces coming out of the old building. The boy was pale; he had dark hair and a bottle of beer between his lips. For a split moment Luke got himself lost in the figure across the street, the slim boy looked like he was around his age, with piercing green eyes and the best lips Luke had seen in his entire life."

or the one where Luke is a religious boy, until Michael appears in his life, takes advantage of him and Luke decides to have a little revenge.

We’re like noughts and crosses (ao3) - emptygoldss michael/calum G, 1k

Summary: it’s like Michael’s made of glass and Calum turns him to sand.

Yeah, I Want You Baby (ao3) - flowercrownmikey michael/luke M, 4k

Summary: “That what you wanna do, princess? Fuck the delinquent right outta me?”

OR// Officer! Luke and Bad Boy! Michael.

#5sosfanfictioncatalogue #5sos fanfic #masterlists #michael clifford #badboy #badboy!michael #badboy!michael masterlist

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bananashemmo · 7 years

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Dirty Laundry

Pairing: Y/N/College!Badboy!Ashton

Rating: NC-All

Request: No

Words: 6.000+

Summary: Y/N has freshly started college and safe to say struggles living on her own. She doesn’t know how to wash her own clothes so she seeks hide at the laundry community room in the late hours not expecting someone else to be there as well.

It was with wide eyes searching you opened the door to the community washing rooms. If it wasn’t for the facts the lights were still bright from inside and clean white you wouldn’t have been able to find it.

You weren’t even sure if it was open or not or if it needed a key. Every little aspect of this adventure was made out of spontaneously decisions.

It was happening so fast you were almost ready to drop all the things in your small embrace.

The lights weren’t less bright once you stepped into the room. The sounds of no machines running was your cause of sigh of relief. It was something you had sincerely feared and to get the theory tested paid off to your satisfaction.

You stood frozen for a second trying to figure out what to do. This was what you had thought about for hours now, it was the only reason why you were still up after midnight.

To finally get your clothes washed.

The big question was. How did you manage to go three weeks without doing a single thing?

It had been repeated in your mind several times but each time you couldn’t come up with a proper answer. You had literally just been using every single clothing you had brought along for college. Even all the socks that seemed to have a countless number.

You weren’t even sure if you had worn the same thing twice, everything looked the same. The pile on the floor was created because your chair in your dorm had been filled to the top.

You couldn’t even see the beige pillows your family had bought for you as a welcome to college present. It was all hidden in a pile of dirty mess.

Another question was, why did you wait so long until finally doing something about it? You had considered just doing it in the small wash you had in your bathroom but truth was, it wouldn’t last for four years.

You had to visit the community laundry for once and today had to be it. You were too tired to try searching for clothes that didn’t exist in your drawers anymore.

Not to mention it was kind of embarrassing inviting new people over because they would see the mess you just couldn’t stop. It was like no matter what you did the pile just grew bigger.

Skipping the many excuses and getting to the truth immediately.

You had no idea how you washed your clothes.

Or more likely you had seen your family members to it plenty of times. Even being the one to dedicate yourself to hang the many panties onto the drying rack when you were little to already show a bit of independence.

But to be honest it was all gone when you started for college.

Everything was so nice and good at first. You had no complications living alone and not under the control of someone else. You could also cook on your own and clean but when it came to washing clothes your whole mind went deadlock.

Not that it seemed that difficult. You just never understood the full meaning of how to do it.

And considering you were a twenty-year-old studying at your first year at college and supposed to be on your own without problems, you couldn’t help but feel completely lost.

You had considered at first trying seeking help for someone else. But you didn’t want to send your clothes back to the old house because that meant you would get the ‘I told ya’ sentence right in the head.

You were so desperate to avoid that.

You could also have asked a few of the new friends you had made but you didn’t know them that well. And thinking they would be your age as well it felt kind of embarrassing that you were so behind with it.

They probably knew just exactly well how to do the work without problem. Heck they probably managed to do it with their eyes closed!

You couldn’t even do it with open.

You also had been searching on Google for at least an hour. Trying to find tips on how to do it the best your own way and how you would divide your clothes into different piles. But it wasn’t everything you could remember so it was kind of given up.

The only thing that would make sense for you was to do it after midnight.

It made sure that nobody was up, people were either at parties or sitting home studying. Some even slept at your dorm so it was a perfect match you tiptoed out of the building and took the small walk down to the washing machines.

But during the process, you had realized that you couldn’t just put everything into a black bag and leave. It would not only cause a bit of attention but you had no idea what to do with the clothes once it was done.

You weren’t sure if they had machines to dry or if they had drying racks like back home. It wasn’t something you had checked outside of your dorms in the garden.

It was probably stupid but buying a white basket for this wasn’t really on your bucket list when you left for college.

But it also made sense why your parents didn’t say a thing about it. You had been the one to say you wanted to handle everything on your own.

That included buying all the stuff you needed and create a check list.

You wouldn’t call yourself a thief but you were desperate to get a basket and thinking back to hours at the library you knew some of the trolleys held white baskets to keep the returned books in.

You definitely needed the new name ninja because you managed to steal one of the baskets during classes without anyone noticing.

Not that many stayed at the library. It was either people seriously studying, being completely caught up in their books to notice anything from outside the fiction world or someone wanting to hook up.

You even swore you saw someone making out heavily on one of the couches. That was a check of something you didn’t want to sit in later on.

With a basket, everything seemed to be easier. You had something to keep it all in and it wouldn’t go lost in a large bag. You also looked very professional so if someone did walk past by it looked like you had everything under control.

But deep inside you were burning with doubts.

A basket wasn’t the only thing you needed. You also needed to buy soap, and not just some soap you could use in the shower or when you were washing the forks at the kitchen. You needed something special to use so you had been on a shopping spree.

It was a luck the shop assistant down by the local campus supermarket shared much help.

You had even made sure to write down what you needed on a piece of paper. It was something that was suggested on one of the many websites you had scanned through.

And feeling a bit embarrassed about not knowing what it looked like in real life you asked him if he was able to read what was written. Faking up a story about losing your contact really seemed to help on your lack of confidence.

But the bottle was large and trying to balance it on top of everything else felt like dead weight. How could something so simple as washing soap weight that much?

You almost felt like your arms were falling off and they felt like spaghetti normally.

You honestly looked nothing like someone who had control of everything. It didn’t help on the fact that rain had started to pour down the second you walked out of the dorm house.

You shrugged off the feeling of the clothes being wet, it only made it more prepared for what was going to happen. No, what made you fear even more was the slippy road.

What you thought was the hard trip hit you hard once reality kicked in.

You actually had to wash the clothes on your own.

A sudden feeling of stress ran across your spine when you looked at the many machines. You just had to pick one, it wasn’t that hard but with twenty of them and no idea how to use them, you felt completely useless.

Shutting your eyes carefully you took a deep breath from your nose and breathed out through your mouth.

It couldn’t be that hard.

With so many machines looking the same as you didn’t think some would be better than others. Besides, it would be weird if they all didn’t offer the same technical things so you just decided to go for one in the middle.

Because being out of the ordinary seemed to be the right way through.

Placing the basket on the top of one of the machines you couldn’t help but feeling a shock go through your body. Compared to how quiet it was the connection between the bottom of the basket and the surface of the washing machine echoed loudly in the room.

You would definitely feel sore tomorrow there was no doubt. That heavy weight wouldn’t cause any delight what so ever.

Leaning down to take the soap out of the basket you placed it next to the things and considered what the next step would be.

You looked over your shoulder with a heavy sigh and decided. It was now or it was never and it had to be done now. A decision was made.

As casually as you possibly could you slowly filled up the machine with as many clothes as you possibly could. It was a good thing you were alone because you couldn’t tell if the odd smell was from your clothes or from the machine.

You tried to remember back the steps. They weren’t that difficult right?

Fill up, soap up, close, turn on.

Pulling out the small drawer after using such a search trying to find it you sighed in relief. At least something good was happening out from this disaster already.

You had no idea how much to use and since it was too heavy to measure how much you filled it up you just continued until it looked fine. Like, more soap, the cleaner it would be. Right?

When the small square was almost filled to the top you tried your best to stop the bottle from tipping but of course it wasn’t stopped without a mess.

Profanities escaped loudly from your lips once you managed to spill a stain on your white shirt. Of course the liquid had to be green you were so sarcastically sure it would be easy to clean once you had finished with the rest.

“I mean come on.” You mumbled in disbelief after cursing for at least a full minute, placing the bottle down onto the floor and looked down at your shirt.

You just wanted to bang your head into the small door of the machine because that was how horrible this felt. Maybe it was just easier walking around naked.

No, that wasn’t a better solution.

Rolling your eyes deeply by your clumsiness you spit on your fingers and hoped that it would just take a bit of the stain. Of course it had to be placed right in the center of your chest where a cleavage was slowly becoming visible.

It didn’t help that with a large stain you still had no idea how to turn on the machine.

You were on the edge of giving up.

If anything couldn’t get any worse a jolt ran through your body when the sudden sound of the door opened.

It was the last thing you had expected and without noticing you almost banged your head into the door of the washing machine trying to see who it was. You had only picked this time of night because you expected that nobody wanted to show up.

Your breathing was uneven from the adrenaline kicking in and within seconds your cheeks were turning into a bright color of red when you saw who it was.

Pressing your eyes tightly together you turned around to cover your face because this was just getting too much already.

Inside came one of the guys you had crossed at the hallways before. Actually, you had crossed him many times since you had started college but you well enough knew he wasn’t a freshman.

With a beanie to cover his long curly brown hair it was only sticking out in the ends. It was obvious it was still raining from the rain drops that ran down his leather jacket and with a cigarette between his fingers he quit it before stepping inside.

This was one of the last thing you just needed in your life right now.

His rumor was spread everywhere. You knew well enough that messing with this guy would cause death. He was a part of the group at college that everybody spoke about but nobody had the guts to speak to them.

With three of his other friends, he ruled the whole campus. But they still managed to blend in with the crowd and remained peaceful and quiet.

Only until something else was proved.

You had to count to ten a million times in your head before actually doing something. You didn’t understand what he was doing on this time at the night but of course he was only here to do the same thing as you.

Fixing his dirty laundry.

Taking a deep breath you managed to look a little less tense and focused back on the machine as he walked past you.

He held in everything you needed to do this kind of job. He was whistling very quietly simply because this was easy for him. It was the routine and he also looked older so he well enough knew how to take care of yourself.

Deep down you were still just a child, man.

You were trying to focus on your own thing but in the corner of your eye, you were watching him.

Everything seemed so easy just like when you were watching those YouTube videos. He had his own basket with only dark clothes, probably something he only wore besides the white t-shirt he had on now. It was probably his washing shirt.

But it seemed as time went so fast when he was done the silence was back and he leaned against the other washing machines with his phone in his hand.

Panic went back to your body because you had no idea what to do. You didn’t know for how long he was going to be here and since he didn’t look like someone who would just leave right in the second you couldn’t just stand like a frozen fish.

You had to do something.

Leaning up on your toes to look at the different buttons you tried to find something that at least indicated an on sign. God, why did you have to take the washing machines above you weren’t even that tall?

You had no idea how many buttons you had pressed by now but nothing seemed to happen. And the guy, he was definitely growing more suspicious than before.

“Uh-, You got everything under control?” He asked with a cigarette prepared between his lips, taking out it so he could speak.

“Yeah-, uh-, Sure...” You hesitantly managed to stammer but you didn’t even believe your words.

He furrowed his eyebrows and without hesitation placed the cigarette behind his ear. You were so sure he would just focus back on his phone but when he suddenly stood behind you your breath hitched in your throat.

“You turn on the machine right here.” He explained and with his tall frame easily pointed at the button separated away from the others.

You mentally wanted to kick yourself over the knee by your mistake. It was so obvious you could even recognize the small sign in the middle of the circle. Of course it had to be like this.

“Thank you.” You smiled generously and looked up at him with a small nod.

“No problem.” He commented back, a bit amused by your small mistake but instead of moving away he remained behind you.

You looked up to look straight into his chin, a bit of stubble creasing around it. You weren’t sure what he wanted but he was furrowing his eyebrows with a clear thought in his mind.

“You know... You can’t really wash all your clothes together.”

This time it was your turn to furrow your eyebrows. Looking into the machine lik him you took a look at the many colors that were mixed into one. Did it need to be divided into sections?

“Uh... No I didn’t.” Deciding not to follow the ‘Ive got this’ attitude you just settled with being honest. You were too exhausted to do everything else.

The blush was right back to your cheeks once you had admitted the words, especially by the way he was staring at you. He wasn’t doing it in disbelief he sincerely just looked surprised.

He looked back into the laundry with his lips parted but he didn’t say anything. It wasn’t until he let out a small sigh and leaned his body against the machine.

“You don’t know how to wash clothes?” He asked and you shook your head instantly, “Because that’s kind of unfortunate considering you’re standing in a laundry room.”

You didn’t know what to respond but the blush on your cheeks seemed to answer itself. This was the embarrassment you wanted to avoid.

“You know, separating your clothes makes sure you don’t ruin any colors.” He explained and turned around to take your basket.

“Is that the one from the library?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, pointing at the basket.

“Yeah... I kind of borrowed it.” You tried to sound as causal as possible but it just came out in a tiny voice.

He looked at you once again as if he was a bit of surprised by your actions. It was most probably something he hadn’t come across before and to be honest it wasn’t something you had expected in the middle of A.M.

“That’s a way of doing it.” He breathed after thinking and you watched him open your machine to take out your clothes.

You felt so useless but he was not the only surprised one. He didn’t even say anything he just took it all out and placed the basket back where it was before.

“Clothes need to be separated from shade and colors.”

“So you need to make a wash for each one. But I only have one pink that’s a hell lot of water.” Panic was way back to your tone by your words and you leaned down to grab the pink shirt in your basket to wave it in his face.

“No, no not like that.” He stopped you from waving and placed the shirt back in the basket.

“You need to separate it in dark and light tones. So let’s say, all the light grey, white and such will be in one pile. Wild colors like this pink one should be in the dark pile along with black clothes and darker grey. Never blend it together. It doesn’t look good at all.”

You watched him start to collect your clothes together while your eyes grew wider. It was a new era starting for you and to be honest it took you a few seconds to realize you most probably should help along.

“What about like denim? Is that light grey or dark blue?” You asked after holding up a jacket and he pointed towards an empty spot where you could place it.

“That gets washed separately along with your underwear. You don’t want to mix that into the pile and lose a bra.” He explained like it was nothing but you couldn’t help but feel the redness again.

You did not expect the bra word to be mentioned from him. But okay then, it was pretty natural.

“When everything is piled up, you just use a few machines which are quite a luck considering you’ve chosen to do it this late.” He pointed at the many machines and banged his hands against a few.

“So I can just do it all at once?” You asked, not wanting to admit you only met up now in a serious hope of not meeting someone.

“Makes my life so much easier. Even though I had a small wash today. Nothing much just a few socks and band tees.” He explained and you nodded your head in understanding.

You weren’t sure of what to do but just followed along with his steps. He took the dark tones into the washing machine you had already tried to use so doing the most logical thing you pressed the white ones into the one next to.

“I hope you brought along your own detergent?” He asked and you quivered an eyebrow.

“Detergent? That’s what the soap is called?” You blurted all of the sudden, eyes wide in realization.

Looking down at the green bottle he was seriously trying to hold it all in. He was trying to be polite and not laughing but in this situation it was hard. Even you were thinking how stupid this was.

“You seriously don’t know anything.” He commented and took a look at the bottle to see what you had actually bought.

You shook your head by his comment and looked down at your feet. For some reason it didn’t feel any weird that a strange guy with a bad background was suddenly helping you with your dirty laundry.

It felt kinda like home.

To be honest you had always been afraid of him. The way he was walking with attitude always made you avoid walking his direction just like anyone else. But to be honest he was a sweetheart.

“Your name is Ashton, right?” It was a shot you gave, you had no idea if it was true but the name had been repeated as a guess for a while.

“That’s correct.” He smiled and leaned over to shake your hand. “And your name?...”

He paused when you didn’t give him any answer and your eyes half widened.

“It’s Y/N.” You quickly responded and shook his hand, “My name is Y/N. I just started here three weeks ago.”

“Nice choice of college I’d say.” He chuckled quietly and leaned his arm over to open the drawer that you had previously filled up with detergent.

“You know you’re so nice considering...” You stopped in track when you were realizing what you were saying as he flicked his hair up to look at you.

“Never mind I’m just rambling.” You made a motion with your hand to push away the small incident and looked down at the floor.

“I understand.” He simply said like it was nothing and quickly changed the subject when he saw how much you had been using for the wash.

“Did I use too much?” You asked with a hint of panic in your tone. You had no idea how much to use and it was pretty out of control when you first started.

“I’m not saying you’ve used too much but that’s insanely much of detergent.”

You both looked into the small poodle that was swimming around in the drawer. It was a coincidence you both laughed at the same time because neither of you could hold it in.

“I don’t know how much I should use!” You exclaimed to defend yourself, “The bottle was so loud I could barely have a control of it! Why don’t they just sell small ones at the store, seriously.”

“They most probably do you just haven’t found them.” Ashton laughed more quietly to himself than you and took a look at the bottle.

“Oh.” The only word that slipped past your lips in realization and you looked up at him with wide eyes.

“You want a tip?” He asked and opened the other drawer to adjust the detergent with a spoon that looked like a soup spoon to divide it better.

“Before leaving for dirty laundry fill some detergent in an empty water bottle. That way you don’t have to carry that large thing that’s also bigger than yourself and you will know that you won’t use too much of it.”

He walked over to his own basket and waved a bottle of blue detergent in the air that was portioned into a water bottle.

You stood with an impressed look and watched him fill the last machines to continue the work you should have done.

“Afterwards you change the water temperatures. Cold for anything you don’t want to shrink or fade, hot for whites, linens, and towels, warm for everything else.” He explained and pointed at finger at you to get your attention.

“Remember, when in doubt: cold water won’t get your clothes as clean as hot water, but it also won’t ruin anything.”

You had honestly no idea the water could actually change temperature. You just thought it was hot like usual and when it was done it would cool down before hanging it up on a dry rack.

This should have been a moment in one of your classes where you would just take a note of every single thing.

“Use your student I.D, press start and you’re ready to go.” He explained, shutting every door and turned on the machines with less than seconds between.

The moment couldn’t be described. You stood completely frozen in some sort of satisfaction watching all the clothes being washed. And to be honest it wasn’t that big of a horror after all.

“And what we do now is we wait.” He smiled and used his hands to lift his ass up to sit on one of the machines.

You looked at him for a second before deciding to do the same thing. It was exhausting washing clothes that were for sure and you couldn’t wait to sit down.

But when you tried to lift yourself up it wasn’t going the way you wanted it to. It wasn’t like the machines were that tall maybe you were just too weak to even carry your own weight.

It wasn’t after many attempts Ashton had watched you he decided to jump down from his and stand in front of you.

“Turn around so your back is facing it.” He instructed and you stopped from your attempts a little bit out of breath to look up at him.

The height difference was clear when you stood right in front of his heaving chest. He even smelled nice, something that stood out from the rest of the room.

Without hesitation, Ashton leaned down to grab the back of your thighs and in reaction you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around his neck. You didn’t want to be the one to be dropped but with ease, he lifted you up and placed you on the machine.

“You think I’d drop you?” He asked, noticing the lack of trust from you.

“No it was just...” You paused when you realized you still had your arms around him, your noses centimeters from touching.

You didn’t finish the sentence you just moved your arms away from him and tightened your lips. To be honest your mind was cloudy for a full moment you didn’t really know what to say.

“Thank you.” You mumbled and he smiled again.

“No problem.” He went back to the machine he had previously been sitting at and without ease jumped onto it again.

You gazed at him as the machine worked quietly. Why was it everyone seemed so scared of him? He wasn’t even that scary, he was tall and he was broad there was no doubt the tee he was wearing struggled. But he just seemed like a sweetheart.

“How do you not know how to do laundry?”

The question you had been waiting for but also the one you feared the most. You had been preparing an answer in your mind for a while but nothing normal seemed to come up.

“I uh-,” You looked down at the white tiles and held your breath, “I just don’t think I ever got the chance to learn it.”

“What are you, mommy’s darling?” He asked, not sounding so jokingly and you quivered an eyebrow.

“Mommy’s darling? What is that supposed to mean?” You asked as you swung one leg over the other.

“Nothing, I’m just saying... You just look pretty innocent. Probably the last one born in the family and not much for lifting your pinky finger unless you want to scold at someone... Am I correct?”

You almost wanted to roll your eyes. And he was suddenly the one being judging?

“Well I’m not the one walking around beating up anyone or like carrying a gun.” You commented and lowered your eyes down to his pants but widened your eyes when you realized what you were staring at.

“I’ve never had a gun with me.” He was quick to comment but the other thing made him scratch his beard.

“And I only beat up people who deserve it.”

“Well yeah that’s a great reason to suddenly beat up people. People shouldn’t even be that frightened of you I mean the scariest thing you can do is doing laundry at 00:53? I mean wow, come at me Ashton.”

He seemed pretty challenged by your cocky attitude, something he had not expected from your side at all.

“Innocent and scrappy I see.” He folded his hands together and again your jaw fell in surprise.

“I’m so not scrappy? And innocent I mean look at fucking badass I am.” You jumped down from the machine without hesitation and it was a luck you landed correctly because you could predict it would end up bad.

Folding your shirts out for him to see you showed the large stain that was in the middle of it.

“I’ve never seen anything more badass in my life I must admit.” He commented very impressed but the sarcasm was clear as well.

“Wait hold on, you need the cigarette and beanie as well.” He jumped down from the machine he was sitting at and took off his beanie.

What had been hiding inside of the beanie surprised you, you did not expect to see that many curls. It was quite a mess on the top of his head but he saved it by running his fingers through it a couple of times.

“Give me that.” You said sternly trying to stay in the character, taking the cigarette away from Ashton’s hands and placed it on the top of your ear.

“Here.” He took off his leather jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders.

It was at least twice your size if not bigger. You could almost be two of your own kind inside of it that was how big it was but it still smelled so nice you couldn’t help but nudging your nose into it.

“Am I badass now?” You asked, trying to make a motion with your mouth to look worse than you probably ever would.

“No I’m sorry.” He laughed again and ran a hand through his hair.

“You just can’t help but being cute all the time.”

You almost wanted to roll your eyes again but the compliment was enough to make you smile instead. You shook your head in disbelief and looked into the windows because dear god how you just looked ridiculous.

“I don’t even think I would be scared of myself...” You mumbled but then an idea came to your mind.

“Here.” You leaned over to grab your scarf and your jacket, “You should wear my clothes for a bit. Maybe people will actually judge you on your kindness instead of fearing being beaten up.”

“People actually think that of me?” He asked with raised eyebrows but afterward shrugged his shoulder. He was well aware of it.

You helped him along with wrapping the scarf around his neck to make it look pretty but with the jacket, you both knew it wouldn’t work out.

“You know I don’t want to ruin it...” He commented, looking at the size that definitely didn’t fit him.

“That’s okay... The scarf adds up for everything.” You smiled and placed the jacket back into your stolen basket.

He laughed in agreement and turned around when the sound of the beeping came from his machine. It also made sense because he had started his before yours.

“It’s time to learn about drier machines.” He announced excitedly with a bit of a gurly voice, trying to hide the tattoos he had on his hands.

“I’m very excited.” You giggled, trying your best to sound just a bit macho but it wasn’t working the slightest.

Who would have thought this would turn into something fun. You didn’t have to be the slightest nervous because with instructions from Ashton everything seemed to go so smooth and easy.

He even shared tips here and there to make sure you wouldn’t fuck it up completely. He was also the sweet one to share a few dryer sheets for you to use. Safe to say he was a true buddy and you were happier that he was there instead of standing alone.

“You think you’ve got control of everything now? Nothing turned into something cookie monster blue or mean girls’ pink?” He asked after fishing out the clean dried clothes from his machine.

“I think that was it.” You commented a bit amazed, trying to make sure you got everything out from the machine.

“If I could just reach everything.” You mumbled a bit irritated, next time you would definitely take some of the machines from the rows below.

“Just a few socks left.” Ashton commented and grabbed your basket with ease to pull out the rest from your machines.

You looked at him thankfully and took a step back to check that everything was in alright. You were finally one. It was all clean and ready to be used again.

“Thanks for borrowing the scarf. It was nice being nice for once.” He said with a blink in the eye and wrapped it off his neck to put it into the basket.

You giggled by his words and grabbed the basket when he returned it to you.

“Thank you Ashton. This was very sweet of you.” You smiled, watching him head over to his basket and prepared it in his embrace after he took the beanie off your head and onto his instead.

“No problem. This might not be the last time we meet.” He said softly and headed towards the door.

“Oh you also need your leather jacket.” You stopped him from walking out the door but he just shook his head and smiled.

“No just keep it for now...” He smiled so much he showed dimples in his cheeks, “It looks good on you.”

You couldn’t help but feel your cheeks blush one last time as he said his goodbyes and walked out from the washing rooms with a small thud.

Looking down at the leather jacket you noticed how the name Irwin was engraved with dark lines right above the chest, and the redness was definitely just as big as your basket.

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