#bad movie is bad whoops

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Antz

So as I mentioned earlier, I'm watching every Dreamworks animated movie (and special) ever because... I don't know, I fucking hate myself, I guess. But for reals, this studio is so weird because sometimes they'll make the greatest movies literally ever crafted (Prince of Egypt, How to Train Your Dragon, Puss in Boots the Last Wish) and other times they'll make absolute shit like what I had to fucking watch to kick this marathon off. Goddamn fucking Antz.

I plan on doing drive by reviews of each of these movies on here because well, what's the point of watching all these films if I'm not gonna share what I think. So yeah, let's start with 1998's Antz, the first Dreamworks animated film and by god its one of their worst.

If you asked me to tell you what Antz is about, I'm honestly not sure I'd be able to give you a coherent answer because I'm not sure Antz itself knows what Antz is about. Like I think its about individuality? About breaking free from opressive systems?? About thinking for yourself? I guess? But like its annoyingly heavy handed with that message to the point that it doesn't let its audience think for itself. It does a lot of telling instead of showing and as such creates a viewing experience as dull as the dirt these ants call home.

Also lets talk about these Antz. They are Ugly as Sin like seriously who looked at these character designs and thought this was ok???

Most stompable ants of all fucking time if you ask me and the non ants aren't much better. Behold, my new sleep paralysis demons:

As for how the characters act... yeah they're not much better than how they look. The main character, Z, is an annoying asshole who just spends most of the film bitching (and yes they actually use that word, this movie is weirdly littered with swears and cussing and sexual innuendos? More on that later) about his shitty lot in life and even once he breaks free he's still agressively uninteresting. His love interest Bala is just as uninteresting, an arrogant bitch who flip flops about how she feels about him with almost no development whatsoever. The side characters are all forgettable, and the villain, General Mandible is just your generic "wants to rule everyone and get rid of anyone who opposes him" bad guy. The world they inhabit isn't really that creative tbh, they hype up this place called Insectopia but its just a trash heap where a bunch of stoner bugs live and its really not that important to the plot at all really so why do we care???

Blatant product placement what what

Also yeah that plot. It starts out as Z being incontent with his lot in life as a simple worker ant and so he switches places with his friend Weaver so he can be a soldier ant, only to be the lone survivor of a battle against a group of opposing termites. This somehow leads to him and Bala winding up outside of the colony and they go on a lame ass adventure that seems incredibly rushed while Mandible is planning to wipe out all of the "lesser" ants and take Bala as his queen i guess? idk i kinda zoned out toward the end bc i was so soul-crushingly board with this movie.

The animation can be impressive for the time I suppose, that's really the only good thing I have to say about it but even then, the colors are dirty and unappealing, the characters are, like I said, all incredibly hard to look at, the music is bland and forgettable, the set pieces are garish and boring, and the writing oh god the writing.

Ok so I have no idea who this movie is meant to be for??? Like its rated PG right but they're constantly throwing out swears like bitch and ass and anus and making sex jokes and I'm just like??? What??? Is this a kids movie? Because what kid would enjoy this thoroughly unpleasant kinda dark movie? Is it for adults? Why would adults want to watch a movie about wisecracking ants??? Who is this for? Why did they make this? Ok well I know why because Pixar was making a very similar film at the very same time as this and Jeffery Katzenburg is a Petty Bitch

Really, at the end of the day, all I can say about this movie is just... don't bother with it? It really sucks, its agressively unappealing and unpleasant to sit through, and when its not assulting you with you how gross it is, its assualting you with how painfully boring it is. I don't think I even cracked a smile once while watching it. What a fucking way to start a Dreamworks marathon off on. Jesus.

Overall rating: 1/10

Verdict: Step on these damn Antz already

Next Review (Prince of Egypt)

[real-odark]

what if theoretically i drew the saw gays *gays *gays *guys whoops

[ID: Pencil doodles of Adam and Lawrence from Saw, both of them tired and injured. Adam is sweating as Lawrence says, “I want you.” Smaller text above Adam reads, “OMFG. Oh my god.” End ID.]

[digitalcarcrash]

watching the passenger with my friend and loudly exclaiming "they're doing insane things to that guys' hole on ao3" every time randy is on screen

[whack-patty]

Dungeon Meshi characters as sing characters. Checkmate.

Dudes who’s main skills are ABSOLUTELY being excited but definitely NOT people and the universe decides to punish them for it

[blizzardstarx]

hey guys check out my sopping wet cat (ignore my crocodile and Tyrunt sculptures in the background)

SHE LOOKS SO PATHETIC FROM UPWARDS HAHAHAHAHAHAH

@send-me-a-puffalope

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[alphatsar]

Sharing bad art attempts now to warn ppl off from future drawings that I would share. XD I already piss off my friends sharing them so I ain't doing that no more. 💀 Gonna try to not bug the fandom either, I swear

[s1ck-pupp3t]

I watched the worst movie ever Look at my edit boy

I dont have thoughts about it it sucked i love it but i found it only becsause i was looking at cars. and i saw the poster and i was like heh i should redraw as swatchton but i was lazy So edit instead Ok?

its ugly disgusting I love it so bad These gay ass men make meSICK. The pose is nice the movie roles um dont fit at least to me so no not an au justFunny poster.. I hope we enjoy.

If i 10 like ill redraw (LIE) (I WONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!)

[starthelostboys]

pov you are marko dwayne and paul and you have to just sit back and watch two of your closest friends ruin their friendship (and ultimately get you all killed) over the most basic guy ever

[emmedoesntdomath]

tony, patting rhodey sympathetically on the back: sometimes, there are people in this world that are just really fucking stupid. 

rhodey, giving him A Look™️:

tony, smirking: not me, though. I’m the best. 

[batz]

24/7 half asleep

[minijenn]

Kinda fuckin weird how a lot of folks on the internet are saying Wish is bad before it comes out meanwhile they're eating Inside Out 2 up based on just one trailer

[quatregats]

Tan y tro nesa’, mae’r nefoedd rhy bell i ni // Solomon Levinsky a Gaenor Rees

[larphis]

Jesus, fuck, what a movie. Heartbreaking but beautiful. I once remember Taika saying that he thought adults weren’t reliable when he grew up because he didn’t have any proper guidance - and after watching this… shit. I mean I know that it is based on a book but holy shit. That man needs a hug. I’m glad he went to therapy.

[setyourfireonme]

@alaynestone tagged me to list my nine favourite films i watched for the first time in 2022 a while ago and i forgot to do it, but what’s a better time to think about the last year than the first of february? i tried to put these in an order starting from persona but it's not definitive, just reflective of that first watching experience. so more of a "favourite first watches" than "favourite films" list if you will.

unfortunately i didn’t get to watch that many new releases last year so notably there’s only one 2022 release here (shoutout to tytöt tytöt tytöt and triangle of sadness though). and special shoutout to éric rohmer and márta mészáros, two of my new favourite directors (and the old faves bergman wong kar-wai and almodóvar and getting closer to "completing" their filmography)!

[broodygaming]

Gods it’s so rare that a second book in a series is so stellar. I love Catching fire so much. It’s such a good story.