#bad jokes by jeff

[howlingday]

HA!

Had sex with a navy girl Told her thank you for your cervix.

[yickle-twees]

tumblr is the crypto of social media

Now, hear me out, i love this platform with my entire pixelated heart, i do.

But it has no application in the real world. And to those who don’t know the app or speak the blenderfuck of references and jargon used by people here, we sound absolutely bonkers. Bring up SpidersGeorg or quote Dream!Obama or reference bad jokes by Jeff to someone who hasn’t joined the order, and they will look at you like you need to be sent to the grippy sock getaway.

Find someone who knows? Immediately bonded, will spend the next hour(s) discussing various posts, possibly name a pet after you. It’s almost cultish.

And crypto is the same, change my mind.

[gay-little-treat-wizard]

Empathy is not an unquestioned good because it can backfire and cause you to try and hide the source of the pain rather than fix it. That's why dips hits are mad about gazans in their inbox. Their mad/sad about the genocide like anyone would but instead of doing anything to help they want to hide the issue. It's like people who are concerned about homelessness but their solution is less public benches and bans on public camping instead of anything useful or kind.

It's a sign of mental laziness, an internal sense of empathy on its own should never be your basis for politics as it can make you a massive asshole.

[ratemypoetry]

in the friend group, fulfilling my role as court jester

[funkylittlecrowboy]

Hilarious dash this morning

[ickiwicki]

i fart, an ancient egyptian farts, what do we have?

Tutankhamun

[moviesstoriesandbooks]

@badjokesbyjeff is actually jeff satur.

[green05]

Jeff's jokes when viewing curated Tumblr content in my Instagram feed: Glorious, fascinating, the pinnacle of human creation.

Jeff's jokes when on Tumblr: ...

(No shame to Jeff, it's just a little underwhelming when you're not only seeing the best ones)

[tywin-p-jacktrade]

I wonder if post can get popular if someone popular sews them.

I'm going to follow the next few person more popular then me who like like or reblogs my post to test my thoery.

[fyeaheddiemunson]

[eaglesizedparakeet]

For a second I thought Jeff wrote this

If I had to pick between a person that sculpts clay and an object that reaches high places for my dinner date, I would choose the former over the ladder.

[decaf-mother]

Sorry I killed all your friends. Do you still think I'm hot?

[defectivegembrain]

Hey actually that thing where Dan Harmon said Jeff was the one who's not autistic in the situation also technically makes Jeff canonically allistic? Finally some confirmed representation for the poor allisms!

[gonkaccino]

AAA made me want to find where disney has hidden runaways and rewatch it and OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH OLD LACE I MISS YOU SO MUCH PRECIOUS BABY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER RUNAWAYS COMIC (OR AT LEAST MORE EXCUSES FOR HER TO HANG OUT WITH JEFF THE SHARK) SO I CAN SEE HER AGAIN

[gaylordthethird]

Jeff this is a prophecy

Elon Musk lands on Mars and steps out of his spaceship

“It’s a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind,” says ground control officer and cuts off all communications.

[strangelittlestories]

A number 8 walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink.

The bartender, who has had a long day already and knows the set-up for a joke when they see one, pours the drink and asks no questions.

The 8 downs it and orders another drink.

Once more, the bartender pours it silently, and the 8 drains it dry.

This continues for the rest of the evening, with the 8 getting more and more inebriated and the bartender doggedly avoiding the punchline.

Closing time comes. It's been a hell of a shift and the bartender just wants to get home.

The 8 finally finishes its last drink and goes to get up from its bar stool. It is - of course - completely legless with drink (not that it had any legs to start with) and falls flat on the floor and just lays there sideways.

The bartender sighs deeply and stares down at the sideways 8, now a ∞, and says:

"Christ, it just never ends..."