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I love this so much. Best headcannon.

Sherlock Holmes modern adaptation but the main characters (Sherlock, Watson, Mrs. Hudson, Irene Adler, and maybe even Lestrade) are all vampires and they’ve just been doing their thing since the time period of the original books

Irene gets to be from New Jersey like she is in canon and she’ll occasionally show up and help Sherlock with a case but they don’t ever date or hook up or anything

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i have 3 moods:

skips every song on my ipod

lets the music play without interruption

plays the same song on repeat for days

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Refuge.

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Has it already been proposed that Hatsune Miku is essentially the digital age successor to the cultural niche originally established by Betty Boop, did I see that somewhere or is it a weird thing my autism told me

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He’s 1 now ‼️‼️

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“i asked chatgpt-” ohhh ok so nothing you are about to say matters at all

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Have you heard of the Ship of Theseus?

no. was it problematic or something?

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"this website uses cookies" fucking why. i wish we hadn't named it that, so cheap and unthreatening. a cookie can be anything from a single data point to actively tracking your usage throughout websites. and if you try to research it, you overwhelmingly get (ad-placed) cheery and chipper responses that "cookies are useful data tools that help websites to help you!"

one article suggests cookies allow for "more personalized websites." i do not want them to know how to personalize their website for me. what they really mean is "make this website better for advertisers." they are not going to turn the website a nice shade of my favorite color. they are going to put ads up they think i like. so it's not for me.

okay sure. it makes shopping easier! okay, great. spend money more! happy advertiser. but then why the fuck when you google how long cooked chicken good for are they skimming your data. why when you google can my dog eat tomatoes are they skimming your data. why does mixing bleach and vinegar bad? require someone skimming your data.

so now you slog through AI responses because sometimes the AI tells you no worries! cooked chicken can never go bad and all dogs go to heaven. something about this feels like being 13 before google was really-a-thing when you had to be kind of clever about how you used Ask Jeeves. what is even the point anymore. half of these sites are not written with human hands anymore. we are creating an infinite digital graveyard in order to give advertisers more space, more billboards.

you have to find the first reputable-looking site in a list of GORP.COM/HEALTH. and when you click the first thing it says is can i skim your data? and meanwhile yes bleach and vinegar bad, you've made chlorine gas.

and meanwhile! yes! the infinite digital graveyard. the internet turned into a true highway: devoid of life. endless paved monotony. the exit sign blinking - this website uses cookies.

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even 2 years ago people still said autism with a whisper. it was also how people sometimes whisper lesbian, like they're afraid of uttering a slur. autistic was either an insult or it was something terrible, a horrible burden only select people endure. "select people" were usually 9 year old boys and skinny white men.

they are not hispanic young adults with a dog and a life and friends. i can make (sustained, calculated, painful) eye contact. with certain people, i don't even have to count how many seconds i am holding their vision - i can just look at them. i can wear clothes that bother me, i will just have a worse day than usual. i might cry about any changes to my schedule - but change is scary! this is normal!

when i was 16 it was OCD. i mean that was the thing everyone said. i totally have ocd. they would arrange 6 colors of gel pen in rainbow order (no worry for indigo feeling left out) and they'd be "so ocd" about it.

if you struggle with intrusive thoughts, be careful at this next paragraph, but. at 16 i developed a compulsion that involved self-harm. my ocd was convinced i was simply forgetting that i'd hurt someone terribly - a thought that persisted for no clear or delineated reason.

at some point i will probably write about how the idea of "morally pure thoughts" was hell for me and others with ocd, but this was the odd dichotomy for many of us: they liked our "aesthetic", but were genuinely repulsed by our lived experience. "intrusive thoughts" now means "cutting your hair in the sink" instead of talking yourself down from believing horrible things. "so ocd" is a label without any true understanding.

it's something i've talked about before - in multiplicity - but i firmly believe in the veracity and necessity of self-diagnosis. i think it saves lives and it saves tragedies from occurring. as someone raised in a house that wasn't safe, self-diagnosis was, for many years, the only viable option. 15 and honestly googling: am i depressed or there demons affecting my behavior.

but it is not genuine self-diagnosis anymore, most of the time. it is a strange, blanched version of that whispered word autism. now certain traits are constantly seen as "autistic" - any passing intense interest. any flubbed social interaction. people say it while laughing - a touch of the 'tism.

and i like the acceptance! i do. i like that people are talking about it. i like that if i self-identify, more people speak up and say me too, bitch. but there is something-else quietly happening, the way it happened to OCD. the quirky, "fun" parts have been washed and sanitized and removed of all suffering. now it is just something that makes you "a little bit silly."

it took me 27 years on this planet before i learned to make friends. something about me just seems incredibly odd, i guess, some kind of radiation monitoring. someone once (in a way that was almost friendly) told me i am doing the right things, but in a way that's off-putting. i have scoured myself raw attempting to be charming.

someone on tiktok does a deep dive into their particular passion. the top comment says "what kind of autism is this lol". like we are a breed of animal. like it has no influence on our experience. like our life is a fresh breeze, an open meadow.

more often for me, life was a drowning.

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indecipherable text lost to time

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time of year i remind every cane user to get an ice pick so you dont fall and die

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It’s crazy and fucked up that being yourself is actually the solution.

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