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thatyamiguy-blog · 2 years ago

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The New baby (Harry Potter)

The new baby

Life after high school wasn't all it was cracked up to be, at least if you were a ex wizard like Draco Malfoy who while he had avoided jail time for being part of the death eaters had been permanently stripped of his magic and made into a squib. As one might guess, after living a live of luxury and being able to use magic from a young age Draco was totally and completely hopeless at living without magic and in a twist that even he hadn't know about, it had turned out he'd never actually been potty trained. His Mother had cast a charm on him that had given him potty control from the time he was 6 months old having grown tired of the smell's the baby was making and well when his magic was taken from him so were any long lasting charms. the end result meant not only was he trying (and failing) to adept to the muggle world, he was doing it while back in nappies and after a week, suffering from a massive case of nappy rash as he was hopeless at getting himself clean. what little bit of his families wealth he had hung onto was quickly used up with his choice to live in a hotel and going with disposable nappies instead of cloth (He was a Malfoy damn it and he WASN'T going to wash his own shit out of a dirty nappy!) and the longest he had manged to hold down a job was under a hour, he just didn't have the temperament to work at a shop. He'd either get in a fight with a customer, get in a fight with his boss, or having a crying fit when he couldn't get a piece of muggle tech to work. One month after High school and Draco was broke, out on the street, and down to his last three nappies and rooting though a trash can for something to eat, and thats when Potter and Granger had found him.

Life after High school for Harry had been a breeze. He was rich already and world famous, and of course landed his dream job of being a auror. Likewise Hermione had managed to land a part time teaching job that left her free to come home on weekends while spending weekdays at Hogwarts. True it sucked that Ron had cut both of them out of his life after finding out they had hooked up while he'd been off having one of his many little tantrums but they were happy together for the most part,. the most part was the fact it came to light that they would never be able to have kids because of a curse Harry had taken during the battle of Hogwarts. It was a crushing blow for the young couple but they just agreed that when they were ready, they would just adopt. Of course they had both heard about what happened with Draco and shared a good laugh over heard how he needed nappies but that day on the street when they found him fishing though a rubbish bin and chomping hungrily on a half eaten burger all the joy had gone out of it. Draco had been humiliated and tried to run off but since they were in the magic part of town no one batted a eye when Hermione had lifted him up with her wand and they'd forced him to come with them..only pausing on the trip back to the nice 2 story cottage Harry owned for Harry to go and pick up some nappies and rubber pants for Draco and Hermione to treat Draco to a meal at the little fish and chip place the drug store had in the back.

Draco never stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. he knew there was no reason that these two would be this nice to him without setting him up for something bad after everything he'd done in school to them. Still, he wolfed down the fish and chips, three baskets worth as he'd only eaten what little he could find for the 2 weeks since he'd been on the street and chugged the cola that Hermione kept getting refilled for him as fast as he could. God, she looked so good. Mature, sexy, giving him looks of kindness and encouraging him to eat and drink as much as he wanted and ignoring how horrible he must of smelled. Potter came back from whatever he was doing and they were asking him question, like where was he staying, did he have a job and the like. "Stay wherever I can and try and avoid trouble." Draco said, Pausing from stuffing his face, on his third basket. he took a long sip of his cola then went on. "No job. no one wanted a nappy brat when I could wash regularly. now.." he gave a mirthless laugh and went back to chowing down, noting the look that the two gave each other. "I've got a question for you two.. Where's Weasley? Usually you three are the three musketeers and all that." Draco asked, putting a napkin to his face and belching and wincing as a loud fart came out and there was a warm wet rush between his cheeks. He was shitting himself. "I..Uh..Never mind. I should get going." He said, his cheeks turned red and he went to excuse himself. "It's ok Draco." Harry said, putting a hand on his shoulder, and giving Draco a smile even as a horrid smell filled the shop. "it's not like you can help it." Hermione and Harry did get up and moved with Draco as he moved to leave, Hermione leaving a fat tip to the poor server and then they were out on the street and he found himself numbly following their lead towards the a fore mentioned cottage, his limbs seemingly not wanting to listen to him. 'bastards! they used a unforgivable curse on me!' Draco thought, the realization hitting him like all the greasy food had hit his guts and was now hitting his nappy. the poor thing was holding up either and the back of his dirt brown trousers were growing dark with shit stained as his filth leaked down his legs. entering the house which was painted a lovely yellow, Draco felt shame flooding him as the house looked like something out of a magazine, and was nice and clean. it had been filled with the smell of wild flowers at least until he'd been marched inside and his mess was coming out his pant legs, staining the lovely cream colored carpet. it was a shocked when he heard himself actually speak up, they had lifted the curse at some point and he'd just kept walking with them on either side as they'd led him to a bathroom. "I-I'm sorry I ruined your car- Hey I can talk!" He said, even as hot tears went down his grime and food covered face, cutting a path. "Yeah mate, we only had it on you for about 30 second but you kept being a good boy. Listen Draco, Carpet's can be cleaned so down worry about it. what me and Hermione wanna do right now is look after you. That means getting you washed up." Harry said in a calm and soothing voice. "I..I don't..Why? I've always been a rotter to you both.." Draco whimpered. "Well, you weren't exactly at your most charming but with your upbringing.." Hermione said, and was helping Draco with his jacket and shirt, scanning his body for a second and giving a sigh of relief. "I told you he wasn't the type to use needles Hermione." Harry said and Draco blinked and squirmed. It wasn't that he hadn't been tempted to use some of the muggles drugs, but just he'd never been able to afford to. which was a fact he figured he had better hide from these two. "in any case.. We wanna look after you for a bit Draco. Maybe help you get up on your feet." Harry was saying as his gently tugged down Draco's pants and despite the stench of it, grinned wildly at the sight of Draco's swollen store brand nappy. "Wonderful. Now can you step out of your pants please buddy?" the question had it been from anyone other then these two would of triggered a brat fit but Draco just felt exhausted and nodded, bracing himself on Harry's shoulders as he did as he was told and Hermione used a spell to dispose of the pants. "We'll buy you more later. your shirt can be washed at least." she said holding a nose. "I..I uh, Ok.." Draco said. it wasn't like he was in a position to argue.

Harry was wiping the back of Draco's legs, getting most of the sludge that had leaked out and dabbing at the spot here it leaked when he paused and frowned. "Draco, spread your legs for a second please." Harry said. Draco did and a gasp came out of Hermione's mouth as they say the red welts and weeping blood spots on Draco's inner thighs. they had both assumed he'd been walking funny due to his nappy's thickness but their was telling anther tale. "Draco..doesn't that hurt?" Harry asked slowly, looking up with concern at the blond. "I..I just got used to it..and it doesn't hurt as bad as the rest." Draco said in a small voice, looking away from them. "The..rest?" Hermione asked slowly, then looked at Harry who nodded. He slowly undid the spoiled nappy and the smell got worst but neither were focusing on that as they both gasped at the raw skin and horrible nappy rash that Draco had, his privates were a mixture of red and brown. "Oh Draco!' Hermione cried out and started the tub going, trying to will the water to heat up faster. Harry was gently wiping at the filth and paused as Draco would flinch or hiss as Harry did so, but then with his eyes shut tight and tears running he whimpered out a request in a ragged breath. "J-Just get it done fast!" Harry didn't need to be told twice and was fighting back tears of his own as he cleaned Draco up, the tissues a mess of shit and blood and the poor guy was turning pale. Harry didn't bother to ask how this had happened, between needing to make his nappies last and Harry doubted he'd been using talcum powder or rash cream.. Not helping matters was his pubic hairs which he had clearly tried to shave at one point and many were coming back as ingrown hairs. getting him as clean as he could with the toilet paper and flushing the loo, Hermione and harry helped him into the tub and it was Harry who had a arm under Draco's and a hand on his chest as Hermione switched from tub to their detachable shower head. Keeping the flow on gentle but firm enough to wash away the filth she worked over the mess as Draco whimpered and started to sob. "Shhh It's ok Draco, it's going to be ok. we're here for you." Harry cooed and rubbed the slimmer mans chest. god, you could see how unwell he'd been eating, his ribs were almost showing and there was no way that was just from two weeks on the streets. Draco had been ignoring his diet clearly for awhile and there was his brief 2 months in prison to take in as well. "Jesus.. " Harry muttered and locked eyes with his wife,She was almost crying as she washed away the filth, and nodded back to him. "I..I..It hurts.." Draco whimpered in a pathetic, mockery of his former tone, and he looked back at Harry, seemingly unable to look at Hermione. "I..Just..Help.." he whimpered like a broken puppy. "we're gonna Draco." Harry promised. "But right now we have to remove your pubic hair. it's lea-" Harry started and Draco happened to look down as Hermione turned the water off and reached for the shaving cream and a razor. "N-No! No razor! get that away from me! you'll cut me!" Draco Howled, suddenly alive and with a power Harry hadn't expected and would of over powered him if his fear fueled power hadn't run out as fast as it had come on. Draco slumped in Harry's arms, panting and weakened and sniffling. "D-Draco what was that about?" Harry asked. "M-My first night on the streets... a.. a big heavy set muggle.. he..he had a razor. said I was going to.. to.. " and Draco whimpered and sobbed., but went on. "Or he'd cut me. I..I was scared and so I..I.." Draco's sobs filled the bathroom and Harry and Hermione were silent in shock. "Draco I.. I'm JUST going to remove your hair down here..so you can get better. NO one i this house will ever make you do THAT." Hermione said in a soft and calming tone. "I..I..Promise?" Draco sniffled. "We will NEVER lie to you Draco, thats a promise." Harry promised. "...I might flinch...I can't help it." Draco said after about 30 seconds. "I'll keep that in mind." Hermione said and then got to work.

With Draco semi cleaned up and shaved, the poor boy still needed a soak and a washing. the tub was washed out and then switch back to the facet and Draco was gently laid down in the tub, on the slant that all tubs have and the water slowly filled the tub as Harry and Hermione exchange looks and squeezed each others hands. they had been told they could never have a baby but here was a boy who needed a set of loving parents in the worse way, never mind he was their age. Noticing how Draco semi flinched around her as she moved in, Hermione stepped back and let Harry wash Draco and get his hair cleaned and then tried to let Draco enjoy the warm water for a bit as she shut off the tap. it was all for naught though as a combination of what he had been though and the hot/warm water had Draco quickly fall asleep in the tub, and it was only her quick movements (Harry had been talking to her, his back to Draco) that kept his head from going under while Harry pulled the plug to drain the water.

Getting Draco out of the water and wrapped up in a soft towel, Harry couldn't help but be amazed at how light Draco was, almost as if he had hollow bones. Carrying him to the makeshift nursery that Hermione and Harry had started before finding out they could never conceive, it was Hermione who took to using a few spells to change the size of the crib and the like while Harry for at least this nappy change set Draco on the plush carpet. Laying out 3 of the soft and thick terry cloth diapers under the sleeping boy, Harry proceeded to coat Draco's butt and crotch with rash cream and followed up with a thick coating of baby powder that made the sleeping blond give a adorable little sneeze. Pinning the nappy's up he got the light blue rubber pants over them with a little bit of trouble and then Hermione was holding up two Onesie's she'd made big enough to fit the adult baby. "What do you think Harry?" She asked held up a one one with a dinosaur print up it and a light blue one with a teddy on the front. "Teddy or dinos?" "oh, teddy for sure." Harry chuckled and they started to get him dressed.

Draco woke up about a hour later, Yawning and rubbing at his eyes. he'd had a crazy dream that he'd run into Harry and Hermione and they had taken him back to their place to make him their big baby. He was a little bit confused on why he was on something so comfortable when the local shelter would of been closed by now and slowly forced his semi gummy eyes to opened and look around. "...On second thought, Maybe that wasn't a weird dream after all.." Draco said in a soft voice. He was in a nursery alright, light green walls and different magical beasts painted on the walls. the carpet was a light brown color and looked very plush and soft and he was in a wooden crib that had been painted white and had a queen sized mattress in it, and a mobile hanging up over head with quidditch players hanging from it, spinning around. the crib had a little activity toy on the run of it, different knobs and the like he could play with and semi mirror in it that let him see his new attire. "Bloody hell..I look like a over sized baby!" Draco squeaked out. before he could take anymore in the door to the Nursery opened and in walked Harry and Hermione. "Now now, watch the potty mouth." Harry scolded with a smirk, wagging a finger. "Oh be nice, He's just a little shocked. I think we can give him some leeway." Hermione said and then leaned over the crib rail. "Do you feel better after your nap little one?" Truth be told he did feel better, and his nether regions weren't as sore as before but still, he was founding himself in a not quite mute shock, but unable to form words and he babbled away before just slowly nodding his head. "S'all right Little guy. I know this is a bit of a shock but trust me, you're gonna love it here." Harry said. "I..Buh...Da?" came Draco's less then witty reply. "well spoken." Hermione giggled and ruffled Draco's hair and gushed as the little guy closed his eye's in bliss and nuzzled into her hand. "OK, that's just adorable." Harry chuckled and Joined Hermione on the crib rail. "Now some basic rules we're gonna need you to follow Draco...Don't worry, they're nothing horrible." Draco opened his eyes at that and gulped nervously, he'd never been all that good at following the rules. "Rule number one: You're not allowed to change your own nappies. I know sometimes it might seem easier for you if you could but that's mine or Hermione's job now. you'll never be left in a soiled nappy any longer then you have to be in it, If I'm busy cooking or the like.All you have to worry about is looking cute" Harry said holding up a finger. "Rule number two:You're no longer allowed to bathe yourself. We were gonna show some leeway with it but after you conked out in the tub earlier, it's just for your safety." Hermione said, holding up two fingers. "Rule number three: we know you're still a grown man with certain needs, but if you feel the need to pleasure yourself let me or mommy know first and we'll give you a little privacy. I don't really wanna walk in on you humping a teddy." Harry said, smirking and holding up three fingers as Draco blushed BIG time at that. "Rule number four: Your to call me and Harry mommy and daddy, or if you have a varmint of those you prefer that's ok. You'll need to get used to it for when we take you out in public as we'll be using a shrinking charm to make you look like a little boy. We could use the charm all the time if you prefer but we both figured that should be your choice to make after you've tried out both sizes." Hermione said and held up four fingers. "And last but not least, Rule number five: Your not to try and feed yourself without permission from mommy or daddy. We want you to relax and enjoy being spoiled. Questions, comments, concerns?" Harry asked and waited. Draco squirmed in his thick nappy, blushing as he listened and then finally found his voice as he did indeed have one question. "W-what happens if I break a rule?" He asked in a small voice and then looking around his crib he spotted a snake stuffie and pulled it to his chest. "Heh.. well first time will be a scolding and likely a time out. second time will be a spanking on your diapered butt and a time out. third time.." And Harry trailed off, but it didn't take a genius to guess the unspoken threat. "I'll be good! I'll be very good!" Draco promised, then paused for a second and a little smirk crossed his face. "You knowwwww Mommy and daddy.. you didn't make swearing against the rules. so I can say fu-" "Don't push it little man. you won't get a spanking for swearing but there's a bar of soap with your name on it." Hermione chuckled. that was met with a muffled poot from Draco who gave a sheepish grin. "Jusssst hada test it you know,." "Mhmm..I can see this is going to be a interesting relationship." Harry said and then both him and Hermione leaned over the crib bars and smooched Draco's cheeks.

The end for now

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bradenthompson · 2 years ago

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Divergent (2014) notes

>lemme just say at the top I'm not here to dunk on this movie for the sake of it and, moreover, I like every movie I've ever seen.

>I like getting a location card in the middle of the opening credits, definitely nowhere else that coulda gone

>so here's how this faction society shakes out, as I'm to understand five minutes in:

-Amity is a bunch of farmers -Erudite is the entire science industry and ig everything that entails -Candor is just the legal system -Dauntless is parkour cops -supposedly Abnegation is literally everything else. What would the subway driver be?

>realtalk I can forgo the "hurr durr faction society doesn't make sense" thing bc it's clearly analogous for teenagers entering adult society for the first time. So we'll be looking at it through that lens as opposed to the cinemasins bullshit

>lol why is the faction test like getting an ultrasound. thought it'd be like a pen and paper, Myers–Briggs thing. Faction society doesn't fuck around

>odd that a drink would inoculate Beatrice in like two seconds. Second verse same as the first

>drug trip faction test is still funny but good on the visual medium for doing visual metaphor

>set design looks like when the new star wars stuff has to make an in-universe version of a normal earth thing

>not a fan of nondiegetic licensed songs in movies, less so songs with sickass EDM drops

>lmao Beatrice just immediately talking shit unprompted

>so are they cleaning that Choosing Knife between initiates or what

>when you pick your faction you walk over to their quadrant and someone already in a seat has to get up and leave. Where do they go. Why is it set up like this. Remarkably inefficient systems here.

>you really can't trust a writer to be impartial with all their special clubs. Trust they will be biased towards one and make it the obviously coolest choice. Who tf is picking Abnegation

>presumably most people joining dauntless are gonna be doing dauntless shit for the first time, lmao, why is there no orientation. "K, welcome, climb an elevated rail line pussy"

>the percussion in the (licensed) song synching up to the chugging of the railcar is a cool editing flair. That's it. Just giving props

>why do all the dauntless initiates have cold feet about jumping in a hole. Jumping around is all these guys do. What did they think this was gonna be

>I promised not to do cinemasins shit but I'm really struggling with wtf Abnegation is. Apparently Beatrice has only eaten plain, spiceless food bc it'd be selfish to have salt? They're just so selfless they take precautions to never enjoy themselves? Why do they shower? Why do they have hair? What is their definition of vain bc so far it feels very arbitrary

>lmao Beatrice realizing cheeseburgers are good like "holy shit why did I eat rice cakes and tap water for eighteen years"

>Dauntless orientation is, in order: -jump on a train -jump off a train -fall in a hole -beat someone up -shoot a gun

>Miles Teller giving undercover cop energy

>cool of Dauntless to pair up the girls to fight other girls. Odd amount of inclusivity on their part. Thought they were bad boy cool dudes who don't bake you cakes and tuck you into bed

>would Dauntless let me get a tramp stamp

>does Faction Society have money?

>Girls loves throwing knives, write throwing knives into your thing and I promise they'll be like YOOOOOOOOO

>running w the theory that miles teller isn't a dick on purpose, he's just really clumsy with social cues

>Divergents as a plot device are still very unclear to me

>Candor is the faction that tells the truth but faction society as a whole has, so far, two separate means of looking inside someone's subconscious so, I ask, how does anyone keep secrets in this world

>how is anyone affected by the fear hallucinations the second time around. Beatrice is telling herself "this isn't real" but i refuse to believe only divergents would think to do this

>too many actors in this movie end their sentences whispering. it's not everyone but its enough to notice

>wait so factions don't do their jobs based on applicability? Whaddo they mean Erudite is gonna be running the place soon? If another faction decided they wanted to be the parkour cops could they just challenge Dauntless for that right?

>I have a theory about the nature of Divergents I may elaborate on should I watch the other movies, but for now: if we are to take the whole faction dynamic as analogy for entering adult society, what's in the suggestion that being a sociological individual (Divergent) is a rare, unique trait? It may empower the reader who fancies themselves a "Divergent" of sorts, but I'm not yet sure how to feel about this archetype being like the sigma male of YA girls. Seems like a device that's talking down to the rest of the non-Divergent cast (I will assume we meet more than one Divergent in the course of these movies)

>I remember when this movie came out and some circles were in a tizzy over Woodley and Elgort playing brother and sister the same year they were set to play a couple in TFIOS, which I'll tell you rn is a nonissue bc at no point do they feel like siblings in this. Could be intentional since Abnegation kids are homeschooled and eat off the ground with their hands, or that's the vibe I take.

>Beatrice: *punches a guy in the mouth* Kate Winslet: "Are you alright?" Beatrice: "yeah, s'all good"

>icking me out, how much unintentional blood swapping goes on in this. Four goes and injects himself with a needle, doesn't replace it, immediately injects Beatrice. Do people find that hot or something

>sorry to all the Divergent haters but the fear scene with Beatrice and Four is cool. I like the problem it proposes; Beatrice has to confront common fears but critically in ways she herself normally wouldn't, since doing so would reveal her Divergent-ness. Also the only scene thus far filmed in any compelling way (I like the pullout where it looks like they're still trapped in the tiny box but turns out they're against a wall in an open space. It's cool)

>spending a lot of time with Beatrice and Four just hanging out. Will suppose the author just wanted to do a bunch of scenes with them but wasn't gonna space them out

>What exactly is Four's status within Dauntless, even? Is he just the camp counselor? He shows Beatrice how Erudite is up to some funny business with Dauntless as if to suggest he has no control over them doing that.

>what--is--up--with--all--the--injection--serums--in--this--movie

>k the fakeout ending in Beatrice's final test was neat but made a little funny by the fact that a. everyone watched Beatrice and Four almost screw b. one of Beatrice's greatest fears, apparently, is taking things too fast. Like it's right after burning to death

>How does Kate Winslet know about the "shooting innocent people" thing? That was one of Four's fears, and I thought what fear trials one goes through are personalized

>calling it right now: bullets in the gun are blanks but Beatrice doesn't fire regardless.

>DOUBLE FAKEOUT, IT'S VERONICA ROTH'S WORLD AND YOU'RE JUST LIVIN IN IT, BITCH

>hey guess how the Dauntless graduates get their tracking devices implanted. Guess. Make a guess. Guess how they do it. Did you guess injection bc its an injection.

>must you overthrow Abnegation by force? Just tell them it's egotistical to run the government and they'll go back to eating Corn Flakes with water.

>I'm not seeing how Abnegation stands to destroy the faction system. Why would a faction capable of doing that even be a faction. who came up with this

>Beatrice having a buckwild couple a minutes, here

>inspired mother-daughter firefight goin on. "Oh, so you shot one of your friends, Bea, come on, I've split like twelve wigs in the past two minutes, you don't see me crying about it."

>I like that Beatrice just uses a gun. All the other YA girlies are stuck with weapons arguably more graceful but if you fuck with Bea you're gettin the Blick.

>Beatrice noticeably less bothered over her dad dying as opposed to her mom, then again she's on a Horrors of War crash course rn.

>gonna attempt to call it again: Four is Divergent, he's just doing a bit rn

>lmaooo Beatrice hittin the fuckin hurricanrana on Four, why do people think she's lame

>"you won't kill me; I'm the only A-lister in this movie, barring Miles Teller who's still in the B-list incubator."

>one more injection to send the crowd home

>narration's back, wooooooooooooooooo

>why are the credits in Courier

That's all, folks. Movie's fine. Nothing outright terrible about it, least nothing we shouldn't be holding other YA movies to. When I watch Insurgent I'll be sure to make a count for all Needle Imagery

#Divergent #guys im doing the movie thing again #movies

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creatureshrieks · 11 months ago

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Frank gives nothing but a laugh at Mapplethorpe's retreating back, blowing a kiss to the show of fuck you he gave him. He didn't expect it to be that easy, if he asked the girl that looked as if she ran track of a living and made him chase her around the entire goddamn trial she'd probably have spit right in his face. Death was one thing, feeling a knife blade twist inside your intestines was another, but offering up another one of your surviving friends to the killer in some demented deal was just purely selfish. There was no 'save yourself' agreement, no letting yourself die on the hook so another may escape. There's no two left standing and only one could escape. The trial had just begun, the land hadn't even been stained yet with blood, and Frank was demanding Mapplethorpe make this choice. An entire trial, down a single person, because Mapplethorpe wanted to live so bad.

Frank turns on his heel as Mapplethorpe enters the shack, sprinting off with his knife held high, now on the hunt for the first poor fucker to cross his path. His ears are trained to the sound of footsteps, of grunts or gasps, of panting breath. Of generators groaning and chugging, deteriorated gears grinding to life. It doesn't take long for Frank to get someone in his sights, a girl with short black hair and an irritating ability to dash away from harm. The generator underneath her explodes as she dashes off it, vaulting through a nearby opening in a wall in an attempt to escape from the Legion's blade as it cuts through the air. A purposeful miss, but not one she seemed to notice. There's a laugh, a taunt thrown his way, and she believes he takes her bait. He clambers through the wall just as she had and gives chase, dashing after her and being careful of where she runs, paths to block as he goads her into the trap he'd set. There's a moment where she goes to make a risky ploy, push past him instead of being herded, and Frank is quick to correct that ballsy mistake. The knife cuts through air, tears through flesh, she screams as it cuts a bloody gash in her arm, deep enough to expose bone. He wasn't playing around with her, shallow cuts made to bleed and not maim, but instead using the full force of his attacks to keep her on track. She falls for his bait, turning on her heal and rushing towards the nearest 'loop' spot ( as they liked to call it ) - the Killer Shack where Mapplethorpe was told to lie in wait.

She dashes through the snow, arm clutching at the bleeding wound, bursting through the front doorway. She drops the pallet, an attempt to stall his advance, and dashes towards the opened door -

She collides with a figure, a shriek and a command to move that goes ignored. Frank stands behind the pallet, a grinning and bloodied figure that takes sadistic pleasure in watching the event unfold. She turns behind her to look at Frank before looking back at Mapplethorpe, her eyes a mixture of fear, confusion, anger. She pushes against him, shouting against his apologies that spill from his mouth. The pallet creaks, his foot slamming into the cobbled together barrier before it breaks beneath him. It's a desperate attempt, her shoulder slamming against Mapplethorpe's chest to shove him backwards and responds in kind. She knocks backwards, a gasp of shock as she collided with Frank's solid chest. An arm is wrapped around her to hold her in place and she scratches at hands, his arm, his face. He shifts his hand to her throat, fist squeezing around her exposed neck to get her to focus on prying his hand away instead. It's a pathetic attempt.

" Look at that! You can follow directions! Ha! " He looks completely unbothered by the girl gasping for breath in front of him. He isn't strangling her, not yet, but restricting her airflow enough for the threat to settle in, " God, man. You're lucky she won't remember this, otherwise you'd be the sick fuck working with the killer. "

Despite the desperation for air, she looks towards Mapplethorpe, fear and hatred flooding her gaze. She fell right into a trap that he aided in.

" Good job! Really! You're more fucked up than me! "

Another taunt thrown Mapplethorpe's way before Frank lowers his hand, pressing against the girl's clavicle before his knife swiftly replaces his fingers. The blade pierces flesh and cuts horizontal lines straight across, cutting straight through her trachea, carotid and jugular. Blood surges from the wounds, pouring down her tattered through and onto her clothes, over Frank's hand. Her own fingers go to the wound, an instinctual desire to live moving her body before her brain can even process its impending death. He lets her go. She drops, knees hitting hard against wood before she collapses sideways, the blood pooling around her.

He looks back up then at Mapplethorpe, stepping over the body left behind, and pressing the blade against Mapplethorpe's chest - flat. He drags the blade across his hoodie, wiping away the blood on his partner in crime.

" Didn't think you had it in you, Maple. " A nickname delivered almost like an insult.

" Not every day someone sacrifices their friends for their own gain. I'm impressed! Not even I would give up the Legion for anything. You're fucked, you know that? But a deal's a deal. Run off, do whatever. Fuck around and sleep the whole time, I don't care. You're free to go. Just don't get in my way. "

if you asked mapplethorpe why he was so willing to turn on one of his friends, he'd argue that he wasn't. a part of him did feel hesitant. a part of him did feel guilty. the whole situation made his chest tight. though, the other part of him? the other part of him was selfish. the other part of him was hopeful that maybe this time---...he'd get to live. he'd win this stupid fucking game that he was put into. he'd actually be ahead for once. he'll give a firm nod, even going as far as to lean forward to kiss his own fist as if solidifying it. he'll think wrinkle his nose at the sight of the bloodied bandages on frank's hand as he let's his hand fall back to his side.

he can't believe he's agreed to do this.

now, laying traps was something that mapplethorpe had gotten good at. there was something comical about seeing a bunch of snow crash down upon michael myers from the trees all because of something he rigged up. he also knocked that asshole with the chainsaw over with a water bucket and a string all because he opened a door in one of his hiding places. though, trapping one of the survivors he had slowly befriended? that was a completely different story. green eyes watch frank carefully, listening to how his breath seemed to quicken behind his mask. like he was excited. it made him feel sick.

for a moment, he gives frank a look that can best be described as a kicked puppy. he'll slowly nod as he looks over towards the shack. the same shack that frank had found him the first time. he could keep someone in there, couldn't he? "you're such a fuckin' dick." with that, he'll move to walk away from frank to head towards the shack, raising his hand upwards to give him the finger before he disappeared behind the shack.

#FRANK || ic #coastercrushed #//nickname EARNED #fucked up little buddies<3 #long post

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leviiattacks · 4 years ago

Note

May I request a Levi x Reader angst fic? Just barely any fluff, mostly angst going on lol. The reader is a traitor, formaly working for Marley, but betraying them in secret and putting their loyalty on Paradis. The reader is also a shifter and married to Levi for a couple of years. That love and care however is gone once readers identity is found. He truly despises them, insults them, maybe a bit violent with them, and outright tells them that they mean nothing to him anymore and hate them to bits. Readers punishment is to hand over her titan to Erwin, and they agree instantly, broken over everything, believing its all their fault. Once Erwin inherits Readers titan, he breaks down and screams, crying, because Reader was innocent the whole time. They never betrayed Paradis. Never killed anyone, never harmed anyone. They finaly know why they betrayed Marley, the abuse being to much for them, enough to just leave them behind for Paradis. Just... loving and caring as they all saw them. But now the damage is done. They wont come back, they're dead, believing that they died, hated and despised, with no one to mourn their death. Everyone regrets everything.

author note :: i was thinking of leaving this in my drafts but i already wrote it and may as well post it. it didn’t end up going the way i hoped but yeah i hope it’s ok anon. anyways ANGST. ANGST, ANGST. as always i love feed back :-) ⟹ all of the headings with the years are just meant to mean it’s a different moment from that year so those moments don’t happen right after each other i hope that makes sense!! word count :: 7.2k warnings :: canon typical violence, death

845, i.

Everything is falling in place when it shouldn't.

Sun never makes itself known in Liberio yet here it is shining down onto the bustling streets. You half expect for it to crash down and burn into the hundreds of civilians going about their daily business yet nothing of the sort happens. It's typical sunlight and you curse yourself silently for your sinister thoughts.

Secretly the voice at the back of your mind still whispers frantically but you don't wish to hear what it has to say. Instead you choose to drown it out with the sound of Zeke's voice. Finally deciding to pay attention to what it is he's been droning on about for the past ten minutes.

"Soon, soon, soon." He sighs dreamily looking a little delirious.

"Soon?"

Your question catches him off guard, he lightly shoves you with his elbow scoffing in annoyance.

"Did you sit here to not even listen to me?" He turns to take a sip of whisky and the hearty gulp he chugs shows his mild irritation. You assume he's been rambling on about Marley's plan to infiltrate Paradis. You have to admit that the idea of destroying those demons from the inside is amazingly well thought out. However it's all he's been able to discuss for the entire week now and frankly you're getting a little exhausted of it.

"I zoned out..." Quietly placing your glass back down onto the wooden counter you sigh closing your eyes. It's too early to be drinking and you don't trust Zeke enough to slip into ignorance and leave yourself vulnerable. Men are to not be trusted, especially Eldian men. The thought of Eldians triggers your flight of fight response, you want to shrivel up into a cocoon and never come out until the world is rid of the monsters. The lowest of the low, the dirt in between the crevices of Marleyan soldier's boots. That is what Eldian's are.

It's ironic coming from you, your entire family labelled as undesirable Eldians yourself but you, you know you're different. An honorary Marleyan is what you will become. What you are. The treacherous imps who are but an ocean away are the true evil.

Eyes flicking to Zeke he's lighting a cigar. Old habits die hard and he's yet to quit this self destructive custom of his. You couldn't care less if he chooses to cut his lifespan short by ten years, it's his own choice to make. A disgusting cowardly choice but it's a choice fit for an untamed man like him.

The Island Devils are said to be the bad apples but you can't help but stare at your fellow citizens from time to time and wonder what it is they could be hiding. If a demon slipped through the cracks you wouldn't be surprised. Sly in nature, persuasive in tone, that is how devils go about their daily lives alone The hymns they drilled into you all the way through elementary school echo and rebound in your mind.

Locking your bitter thoughts away you have to push yourself to not punt Zeke in the mouth when he teasingly blows a puff of hot smoke into your face.

Fingertips grazing with his he freezes at the sudden contact giving you the perfect opportunity to slip his cigar away and take it in between your lips. You allow for it to linger there but you aren't foolish enough to inhale its contents.

"Zeke, my dear friend. We shall soon be met with the fruits of our own labour but I assure you that discussing Marley's plan constantly will be of no benefit for you nor I."

The day you and Zeke had met had been at warrior training camp. Zeke was a miserable, unmotivated oaf. Always tripping and falling behind the rest of the warrior cadets. You felt rather bad for him, if you were born as unskilled as him you don't know what you would have made of yourself. Zeke, the only child of his parents ironically only ever ended up rising through the ranks after handing them over to the Marleyan government. His father and mother had been conspiring an escape plan but were executed immediately alongside their fellow team members once Zeke had outted them. Unexpectedly he was spared, the fact he turned on his own parents showed where his loyalties were. To his surprise, he was even allowed to continue his training with the other warriors - only this time everyone kept an increased distance away from him. The warriors weren't informed of what he had actually done but everyone had a gut feeling. Everyone apart from you stuck with that feeling. You thought strategically, If he were to become an enemy in the future you knew being close would come at your advantage.

The day you and Zeke had met your mother died, his mother passed away the same day. At least that's what he had told you.

The two of you bonded over the little things, told each other stories about your life at home. Reminisced about what it was you missed.

Then it all came crashing down the day Zeke confessed. The day he told you he killed his mother and father by handing them over to Marley. Your knees buckled underneath you, crashing the floor he tried to grab at you but you thrashed around in retaliation kicking and screaming not understanding why he did what he did. Yes, they were traitors but they were his parents and if the monster had the nerve to turn on the people who gave birth to him who's to say he wouldn't do the same to you or to Marley.

Zeke doesn't know it but ever since then you take the opportunity to sneak the occasional glance at him. Every single time you narrow your eyes in malice. If there's a man in Liberio who you don't trust in the slightest it's him, he must think the feud between the two of you from childhood has been put at rest but it hasn't.

Zeke takes another swig of his alcohol. On this occasion he downs it entirely slamming the glass down with vigour.

"ONE MORE GLASS BARTENDER!"

846, i.

Another day of extensive training is about to end, your back is layered in uncomfortable layers of sweat and the same can be said for your forehead. Kneeling down in the under layer of the forest you're hidden waiting to strike. Going up against the elites is nerve-wracking but you're sure you can pull it off so long as you stay calm during this game of hunters against prey.

It's simple enough if you can conceal yourself and stay out of sight. The robust trees that surround you act as decent enough camouflage and your green cape paired with them lets you veil yourself, keeping you further into the foreground, blending into the environment.

No one will be able to catch you if they can't see you.

All of a sudden your previous thoughts are thrown away when you sense something in the atmosphere has changed, the hissing of the wind behind you isn't natural.

Turning to your side you don't bother to cover up the sound of leaves rustling and branches cracking, your priority is slipping away fast enough to hide again, a tug can be felt at your cloak and your reaction time barely covers for you, your gear fastens itself to a low enough tree branch and the descent is mind numbing. Your breakfast churns in your stomach but you ignore the uneasy feeling, leaping and diving wherever you find a small enough gap. You believe you can outrun your huntsman.

That is until you sneak a glance back and your muscles nearly tense up in pure astonishment, you've been kicked in the teeth just by the man's presence. Captain, Levi slinks behind you weaving through the gaps with increasing speed, he's gaining momentum and all the while his face stays relaxed, this isn't even his full effort.

Terrified you dart upwards and then left, a corner comes into view - Levi should assume you've turned into it and so you rashly choose to dart back down. Much to your hard luck you find that his senses are well adapted, the direction of the wind is enough for him to trace your whereabouts.

The pursuit resumes, and he stays disturbingly relentless.

Arm shooting to the right you think perhaps making it look like you're aiming to fly somewhere else again will completely catch him off guard, he can't expect for you to pull the same trick twice.

Setting your plan into motion your finger pulls at the trigger but you startle when the cable doesn't come out, it's jammed. Panic seeps into you and to make matters worse your gas is running out.

Without warning you're thrust into the body of a nearby tree, the bark scrapes against you and scratches begin to form anywhere you've made contact with the jagged surface, you want to admit defeat but the warrior inside of you denies Levi the pleasure of seeing you beg. In its place you deliver a harsh kick to his thigh, you're aware he's injured it and you're certain there are no rules to say you can't play dirty. Your boots hammer against leg hard enough for him to give out and let go of your body, but then you realize you lost this game from the very moment your grapple hooks broke, you have nowhere to hold onto.

Before you can even let out a shriek of horror Levi's shot back to you, he frantically accelerates and by a miracle humanity's strongest is able to grab a hold of you again. This time you don't dig your heels into his leg and you allow for him to clutch you by the torso.

Within a minute the two of you descend towards the forest floor and Levi throws you into the dirt furiously.

"You could have died. Being foolhardy will only lead to an early death." He barks as he directs his blade towards your neck.

"Am I dead yet?" Whispering back your gaze isn't trained on the blade but right up at him.

His nostrils flare up, his hair sticks to his forehead haphazardly and the knuckles that hold his pointed blades are white in tangled dissatisfaction.

Grabbing you by the hips he flings you over his shoulder choosing to not continue with the confrontation.

"I know what you're up to." His voice is still rugged from the pursuit and it takes you a split second to register what he's said.

Your eyes widen and your breath hitches in your throat, no way, there's no way in hell he knows. He's sharp but he's not a mind reader.

Your position means he can't read your face seeing as you're facing his back, instantly steeling your features you let out a breathy laugh.

"And what may that be?" Silently you pray he's worded himself ambiguously to catch a slip up.

"Being gutsy, you think that makes you a good soldier. It doesn't."

Relief floods you. He doesn't know.

"Soldiers need to be brave." Your retort makes him grumble.

"If you die with no meaning by being reckless what's the purpose of being a soldier?" His question has you stopping and thinking on what the correct answer is.

Unable to think of an answer you ask another question.

"Are you saying your previous comrades died without meaning?"

"No. Their deaths fueled me slay more titans."

"So if I died back there who wou-" He swiftly cuts you off showing no inclination of wanting to hear what it is you have to say.

"I'll cut your tongue off if it's stupid." He clearly isn't serious about the threat but he does mean it when he warns you to not overstep.

Despite the consequences you say what's on your mind. "I just wanted to ask who would give my life meaning if I ever died. I don't have siblings and my parents died long ago."

Silence follows and the crunch of his boots against the muddy leaves tells you he probably doesn't wish to answer your question.

"Sorry-"

"I would. I would give meaning to your life." He says it with such ease you almost want to admire the enemy but you know he's said it because he feels he has to.

"You barely know me but I hope one day you can stop thinking everyone has to rely on you." You say it with taunting understanding.

Another bout of silence follows. Only this time the two of you feel warmly comforted, he doesn't understand how you've seen through his facade but it's easy for you to spot another liar.

846, ii.

Brows drawn back you observe your surroundings attempting to mask your scrutiny. The place is running amok with uncontrollable Eldian folk. The stench of unadulterated sin makes itself known but you seem to be the only person able to smell it. Eren bumps against the table you're sat at and your face twitches a little but you say nothing. You're yet to get used to these people's lack of manners.

At least that's how you force yourself to think. To be truthful, you don't quite understand what it is these people have done wrong. Ever since you've arrived you've been nitpicking at every single minor inconvenience or possible issue. A girl stole a potato and broke it into uneven pieces to share and you attempted to twist the story in your head to make her look like an unfair, greedy voracious demon but... you found yourself finding very little to actually be angry at. These people are essentially normal in every way of the word, they aren't demons and you can't help but feel yourself slip away from everything you once knew as reality. You're finding it difficult to believe what years of Marleyan education taught you, the hymns that were once drilled into your brain permanently are but a vague memory.

You feel disgustingly under-dressed and out of place, you don't belong here not when you're meant to hate these people, not when you're meant to despise them. You should be fighting the urge to shove their heads onto pitchforks or to skin them alive and feed them to pigs. Everyone back in Marley told you to control your impulses but now you're here and you've settled down even having the opportunity to converse with these individuals, share their pain, share their loss, share their suffering, you wonder why you have no impulses to control. Have they brainwashed you? Or is it that you're the real demon in this situation?

Fingers mingling with each other on your lap you sit hopelessly alone. Interacting with the so called enemy is much harder than you expect. Worry consistently bubbles in the pit of your stomach and every night is spent tossing and turning evaluating then reevaluating who the bad guy really is. At first the task of daily interaction isn't a big deal, you find it easy enough to approach members of the team and fake interest in their lives until the original plan falls through. You do become invested in your team members lives and stories that it comes to the point where you don't have to force yourself to smile at their jokes or to sympathize with their tales of grief. You become one of them and you swear you're meant to feel like a traitor but eerily you feel like you belong.

Nevertheless you try your best to stick with what you know. You're nothing like Zeke, you're loyal, capable, faithful and trustworthy. Never will you turn your back on Marley.

Rising to excuse yourself from dinner you think you've just about made it and escaped finally able to hide away in the confines of your bedroom but your lips form into a straight uncomfortable line at the feeling of someone's hand latching at your wrist. You're halfway down the hallway just a few more steps away from your bedroom. You hope it's one of the rookies.

"Oi, come here."

Head shooting backwards your eyes land on Levi, his dark curtains fall in front of his eyes - you note that he hasn't trimmed them as he usually does. Despite his size his grip is firm and your wrist squirms around a little trying to manoeuvre out of his bruising grasp. He seems to notice he's underestimated his strength once again and loosens his hold on you. Narrowed eyes analyse your anxious form, they're grey and in this lighting almost glow appearing silver. For a brief second your mouth is left ajar by the delicate but rough manner of his face.

"Everything Okay?" He doesn't typically seem to care very much about anyone, the question activates your senses and you're on full alert but the eye contact you make with him seconds later slows down the gears in your mind, they only whir and hum in anticipation completely coming to a halt.

"Yes, yes everything is okay." You're playing around with the hem of your shirt and you silently question when you were ever this nervous around anyone. You're a Marleyan soldier for heaven's sake not an unrestrained, unsupervised child left to play in a park.

Despite your clear inability to cushion and shield yourself from your Levi's stabbing gaze you attempt to appear as nonchalant as possible.

"I'll be going I just feel a little —" At first you had thought to fake you were ill but at the feeling of a sudden strike of pain you hold onto your stomach, the ache burns into your abdomen and without permission it travels higher up towards your ribs. "A little unwell." You manage to wheeze out. Hand placed onto a nearby cement wall your thought process is hasty speeding up by the second. Have they figured you out and had you poisoned? No, you barely ate anything today.

You hunch over feeling the bile crawl up your throat, on reflex you clamp your eyes shut not wishing to anger a superior by acting insolent and disposing of your dinner in the hallway. Shaky palms reach hesitantly for your lips and you force yourself to keep it in. Levi would commit a murder if you heaved and gagged letting it all out in front of him.

You motion towards the door trying to emphasize that you can handle yourself in the privacy of your room. Tears bite at the sides of your eyes and your vision is so blurred you can only make out the faint outline of the man who was just in front of you.

"Relax. I'll clean it." Your hair is brushed away from your face securely held back and you can't hold it in any longer, the acrid storm surges through your throat, you retch at the harsh sting it leaves behind. Breathing heavy, perturbed and anxious you gasp in all the air you can get.

"I knew you looked ill." His hands hold your jaw gently, the pads of his fingers are calloused but his touch remains soft. A tissue dabs at your mouth wiping away the excess untouched sick.

Just like the sick which surged through you less than a minute ago you feel something else entirely tear into you. You can't put a finger on it but it's dangerous for you to not feel contempt.

847, i.

Your heart accepts what your mind has been ignoring for months on end when Levi looks you square in the eyes after a heart wrenching expedition. The vacant look on his face is enough for the guilt to consume you whole but he doesn't know that. He doesn't know of your sins.

The wagon of corpses reeks of death and desperation. It's rotten and the smell is sickening. Forcibly you stop yourself from feeling any more grief. The despair isn't yours to go through.

Your first ever personal loss outside of the walls and you've learnt Paradis is not home to demons. Cheeks burning in mortification you can't formulate any thoughts on your own accord, instead they continuously emerge in bursts and finally a single thought sticks out from the rest - Are you aiding in the destruction of innocent human life?

The both of you are sat on guard duty with the corpses, half of the team has been wiped out in one sweep. Your trembling hands don't seem to want to steady any time soon and you sit there with your guilty conscience strangling you slowly, your airflow is getting shallower. Shorter, quicker breaths leave you. The imaginary gash in your chest is bottomless, and your lungs push and pull in a power struggle.

Levi's coarse hands abruptly hold onto yours and the floodgates open again, he doesn't know what you've done to him, done to his soldiers, done to his people. If he knew who you really were, would things be different?

"This was out of your control."

Do you tell him?

The question sits in your mind for a while until you shake your head. He takes it the wrong way and think you're responding to him.

"This was not your fault." For the first time in months you've heard his voice crack under pressure.

"Pe- Petra she- I could have taken one for the team and died instead of her." All that remains of your dear friend is her blood soaked cloak. Her body was one of the few that had to be hauled away earlier to decrease the carriage's load.

The fabric still smells of Petra, smells of honey and chamomile and the simple soap offered at the base, but it still smells of her.

Firm hands grab your shoulders and Levi's fingers dig sorely into your flesh.

"Don't."

"But I- I didn't contribute as much as her and she has family who are alive." Hiccuping you try to bare with the fact that you'll wake up tomorrow and not see her preparing breakfast for everyone else. You know you could have propelled her out of the way just in time if you hadn't been so taken aback by the entire situation.

"You were her comrade. She made the choice to die for you."

You want to reach out, sob into his chest and yell that you regret it all, scream and tell him about the secret you've been hiding. A sorry excuse of a comrade you are to let her die on the battlefield not knowing your true identity. The tears roll down your cheeks and Levi feels his heart constrict and squeeze as he comprehends the lack of regard you have for your life. "It should have been me." Is repeated over and over again, your eyes are raw and bloodshot, the vicious wind sinks its teeth into you.

"Then die."

"If you're willing for her life to have no meaning. Die." The words he spits out are as cutting as the bitter wind. He feels cheated and you're finally able to come to your senses.

He's faired much worse but you doubt he's ever acted out the way you have in front of another person. In this never-ending void of darkness locking away the dull ache caused by deafening loss is the best choice for everyone.

Much like the night you had been sick he takes a grip of your jaw and directs your face towards his, this time he's not as gentle as before but you conclude that it's because he's drained, completely exhausted from the battle. The eyes are the windows to the soul but Levi's window panes are shattered, completely crushed by the weight of the constant burden he has to carry.

"I'm sorry." You croak out the apology. He grits his teeth because he doesn't want you to apologize but he doesn't voice out his opinion. As a substitute he presses his arms against you, the terribly raw panic is murdering you. Levi's gruff voice is a mixture of faux irritation but mutual understanding.

"Cry." He allows for your head to loll against his shoulder.

As the dark envelopes both you and him the scent of the dead only becomes more and more pungent, recalling fond memories of Petra and the others you know your heart settles on a decision before your mind does. You're a two timing back stabbing traitor for this. What you hated Zeke for you have become yourself.

Disloyal, unfaithful and fickle.

That day you place your loyalties with Paradis.

847, ii.

Levi's wiping down one of the kitchen tables, you're kneeled on the floor scrubbing vigorously. The others have already given up, panting they've left using the excuse of fetching water from a nearby well. Your back aches but you find cleaning reassuring and somewhat of a decent distraction.

"Why do you like to clean?" You're used to Levi asking you abrupt questions by now, after all the two of you have been acquainted for well over a year now. Through that year he's learnt about you and you about him. When in the midst of what looks to be humanity's final year's, twelve simple months is enough to form a bond worth a decade.

"I'm not good at a lot but I am good at cleaning."

"You know that's not true idiot." The tone of his voice indicates that your answer doesn't please him.

"But I do think I'm good at cleaning? Maybe not as good as you but I am half decent."

"Not that. You're good at much more than half the people I've ever met." He sneers, his footsteps edge towards you. "Purely being a good person is a talent these days."

You suppress a flinch because you aren't a good person at all. Neither are you that middle ground between good and bad. Rough around the edges and uneven, you're shards of glass ready to slash and hack away at him if Marley somehow lures you back.

The confession, if you could even call it that catches you by surprise and anger fills you. You almost want for him to not trust you and call out your bluff. It's a little unnatural how badly you want for him to realize the truth.

Your head turns up to stare at the man who's a few steps away from you. "Or am I just good at acting genuine?"

You don't even mean to snap at him and you don't even realize you have until you see his eyes widen and mouth part in imperceptible surprise. Biting your tongue your attention is diverted back to the wooden floor. Driving your washcloth into the crevices and dips of the floorboards you ignore Levi's leather shoes which now stand right in front of you.

"Are you questioning my judgement of character?"

Be born in Marley, That's what you had done, trained to destroy people you thought to be devilish entities, foolishly chose to grow attached to the so called enemy. Your mind lingers onto a specific thought and you're deathly afraid to be thinking it in the first place but there's no more avoiding it.

Falling deeply in love with Levi is your worst mistake to date.

"What I did. It was out of my control." you reply, voice hard.

"Not disclosing what it was?" He asks.

Your silence is his answer. Kneeling down to where you are he disarms you, the washcloth is taken out of your hands and he places it onto a table.

"You are a good person." His voice is brusque and he states it like it's a fact, something you should know. Hot tears threaten to spill over, he's stupidly naive for not rethinking that opinion of his. Lips thinned and eyes watering you don't know how to feel.

"Levi. I'm sure you'd like to think that but I am not."

"You love the members of the corps unconditionally I can see it in the way you look at them."

"Sometimes you look a little sad when you stare." The last sentence he adds in has your pulse racing. He's right, you often feel miserable thinking about how everyone would react knowing who you really are.

"I'm not interested in bad people." He sounds distant saying such warm words and it takes a moment for them to actually sink in. You don't quite believe you've heard him correctly. The dread sinks to the bottom of your stomach and the feelings you've buried at the back of your mind hit you like a tsunami. The thought of him feeling the same way for you, is agonizing.

"Stop being ridiculous." The uncertainty is killing the both of you.

"Loving you is not ridiculous, if you don't feel the same way you can say that and I'll step away. We'll be back to normal."

"No, no, no. You don't get it. You're just saying that." Your voice quivers and the intensity of this new revelation is too large for you to cope with.

"Why would, you," He begins, voice just above a whisper, "ever think that way?"

"Why would you even look twice at me?" You reply.

"Because I worry for you."

"You worry for everyone."

"I worry for you the most."

Instead of letting you respond to him this time he carries on speaking.

"We both know we feel the same."

You already knew you were in love with Levi, you didn’t need for him to tell you. You knew you were in love when you tried to memorize his facial features, you knew you were in love when his laughter was the cause of your laughter, you knew you were in love when you threw yourself in front of that abnormal for him.

That's when you begin to understand what all his signals meant. You now knew why he'd let you stare so intently, you now knew why he laughed particularly hard when it was you who had made a joke, you now knew why he scolded you and nearly broke down at the sight of your injured arm after that specific expedition.

You know it. He knows it. You both know what this will lead to.

But you still lunge onto his lap, you still press your wobbly lips against his. You still choose to surrender yourself to him and he still reacts by taking a hold of your shaky hands which lay on his chest. He envelopes them in his warm grasp. Slowly but gradually the ice thaws and dissolves. Heartbreak, anguish and suffering when one of you loses the other will be the end of your romance, you're sure of it. Hell, the both of you are in the middle of a war but your heart flames up thinking of all of the possibilities.

Perhaps it'll play out the one way you wish for it not to.

Could your ending be in betrayal?

848, i.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded hus-"

"Cut the crap and kiss me." Levi's crude interruption isn't appreciated by Erwin but everyone knows Levi doesn't care all that much for formalities and hates being in the spotlight for too long.

Gripping him by the collar of his suit your lips are a centimetre away, he stops you tightening the hold he has on your waist. His lips gently press against your collarbone and his breath meanders towards the shell of your ear.

"Swear you won't die on me."

Gulping you look away apprehensively. You know you can't promise that.

“Oi, I’m expecting an answer.” His voice flickers slightly.

Forefinger holding your chin up you see your soon to be husband close to tears, he valiantly blinks them away. Levi has never been one to make his pain public and your heart twists in your chest as you realize just how much of a hold his feelings for you have over him.

"I can't promise that, you know it'll only hurt more." The strange bitter taste in your mouth won't let you comply with his request and by measuring his reaction you see his eyes cloud in an unidentifiable emotion, you're sure it's nothing positive.

"We may not have a happy ending Levi but we'll always have a happy middle."

Levi scoffs in derision, he has to think your attempt at being meaningful is ridiculous.

You lean into him and it's all so heart-wrenchingly familiar yet foreign. His body sags comprehending that not everything will go the way he wants it to. One of you is guaranteed to leave first.

Hands finding purchase in the cloth of his white dress shirt Levi doesn't cringe at you creasing the fabric as he usually does. He allows for you to call the shots this time, your lips brush faintly against his before you nosedive into him. No resistance is felt and he replies almost immediately. Everyone applauds as his fingertips press into the back of your skull and you find that this is all incredibly hideous. The innate disloyalty you feel, you throwing your entire life away for this man but you find yourself not caring. To hell with that miserable life crammed with sin.

Levi smiles against your mouth, you assume you're meant to magically smile back but you can't make yourself. It's uncomfortable relishing in the undeserved happiness knowing it won't last forever.

The world you live in isn't ideal nor is it forgiving.

Momentary joy is all an antagonist can hope for.

849, i.

Jean can’t take his eyes off the newly weds.

You’re cooing into your Levi’s ear gently, his cheeks flush scarlet at the feeling of your hot breath against his skin and he scolds you for having the gall to rile him up in public.

Jean sniggers finding some sort of odd delight from the interaction - he’s never seen the Captain this content and at ease.

849, ii.

You don't know why you've dragged yourself out of bed just to stare at your husband's face but you have, despite the toll life has had on him he seems sound for once. His breathing peaceful yours is anything but that. When it's dark the weight becomes heavier, your skin tingles and your throat burns aching for release.

Eyes blurring your hands shake reaching out for him but you can't find the courage to make contact. Nothing will ever warrant plaguing him even more with your existence.

The memories become increasingly bitter.

"If we make it out of this alive we'll have children and they'll look just like you."

"I want them to look like you." had been your reply.

Levi winced not seeming to like the idea.

"No, I want them to look like you. You're beautiful."

How wrong he was for thinking that.

You, beautiful? He'd stab himself ten times over if he knew just who exactly he had said those words to.

850, i.

Zeke had betrayed you after finding out who you were to Levi but you half expected that he would tell him the truth at some point regardless of that fact.

Tear stains travel through the mud and grime on your face, Levi's eyes are indifferent as he twists his wedding ring off his finger flinging it into the surrounding rubble.

Without your permission he yanks your arm forwards intending to take your matching ring away but you hold on digging your heels into the dirt beneath you.

"You disgusting bitch. Give me it."

You scream, high and awful, he continues jerking at your arm the muscle throbs crying out for him to stop but he doesn't and no one steps in to put a halt to any of it. Levi having had enough grabs at your neck ruthlessly. In any other circumstance he'd be labelled callous or cruel but everyone on the battle field shares a similar empathy for their Captain. Neither they or Levi had expected your disloyalty.

"I said give me the ring if you know what's good for you." His fingers slide around your neck, his seemingly low words cling onto the little respect he has left for you.

"No." Your defiance has his eyes hardening in and posture tensing. "I'm not handing it over."

Levi says nothing, he only holds onto your throat tighter, if he really keeps at it your windpipe will be crushed in no time. You know he's holding out on purpose, he's still giving you a chance. He expects for you to stand your ground, say you never deceived Paradis, say something, anything to make him let go of you.

"Marrying you... It just happened somehow. I know it was selfish of me." He squeezes harder. "I know it was. I'm sorry Levi." Gasping and breathless you clench and unclench your fists finding it too difficult to explain.

Your mouth opens, you want to tell him you haven't seduced him like he thinks you have, tell him you dropped that plan of yours long ago but then you falter at the last second. It's typically hard to tell when Erwin's infuriated but it's painfully obvious when you make eye contact with him over Levi's trembling shoulders. It's enough to tell you to give up. Enough to tell you that you're beyond redemption, you've ran and hid long enough.

"Hand over your titan." Levi says nothing to Erwin's proposition, the hold he has on your neck loosens but his silence is sickening. It means he agrees.

This is fate's idea of a cruel joke.

But you agree, on the basis of one condition.

"Fine but-"

Levi cuts in, all regard for you devoid from his system.

"You're in no place to be making demands." He snarls, his patience quickly running thin.

However Erwin urges you to continue speaking taking you aback.

"If it's not too much maybe we can accommodate your final wish." Erwin had always been thoughtful in nature and you thank him for even bothering to show you a sliver of benevolence.

Everyone's looking, all eyes are on you. Some are blinking away tears, others are disgusted unable to stare at you for more than a few seconds at a time. Levi falls into the latter.

Brazen with not an ounce of shame you mention the ring again. "Let me keep it." Your left hand covers your right and underneath the flesh is the last symbol left of your union with Levi.

Whispers and murmurs orbit you, none of them are kind and Levi loses it.

His reflexes are paralyzing, he's back at it clawing your neck mercilessly but you don't scream or shriek as you did previously. You take it, you let him unload his frustration.

"Levi. Let it go for the sake of humanity." Erwin says pointedly. Irritation pricks him, he wants this over and done with and your rebelliousness doesn't look as if it'll be tamed any time soon unless you're given what you want.

Levi's face is crimson, the fresh blood from the expedition still steaming. "Y/N, I'll saw your arm off if I have to." But, you know he's already given into Erwin's orders when he throws you to the ground letting you crash and wheeze for breath.

850, ii.

Levi's been appointed to guard you for your final night alive. The room feels wistful as you think back wondering if the life you lived was respectable.

"Why did you stare at me when I slept? Did you think of killing me?" Half commanding and half pleading his voice cracks. He coughs attempting to cover it up.

You jolt not expecting the interaction at all and you're not the slightest bit surprised that he had seen you all those nights staring so deeply. He'd always been a light sleeper. You turn your head up hoping he's looking at you.

He isn't.

"I wanted our children to look like you. I think you're beautiful."

It's now his turn to recoil, only he does so in repulsion remembering the familiarity of those words. They had left his own lips not too long ago.

"I'd never have children with the likes of you." He sounds tense then.

You understand. No one would want to have children with someone as hated and as despicable as you.

"I know." You whisper faintly.

850, iii.

When Erwin's eyes glaze over unable to focus on anything in particular Levi assumes it's him growing used to the titan powers. What he doesn't expect is for his Commander to bang his head against the floor unrelenting screaming your name.

Pairs of hands move to stop him but he thrusts them aside wailing. Levi stresses trying to figure out what it is you could have done in the wake of your death.

But Erwin Smith. Courageous, brave Erwin Smith, who never cracked at loss of life for the sake of humanity, who always eloquently spoke to everyone around him at all times, finds himself slumping down to his knees and weeping for you.

The warm blood from his self inflicted assault still trickles down his nose, a tremor shakes through his entire body when he thinks of breaking the news to Levi.

The edge in Erwin’s voice grows dangerous.

"We made the wrong choice."

Erwin can't word it any better than that.

But Levi understands right away, he wishes he didn’t, he wishes he was ignorant enough not to.

Hange sticks an arm out aiming for his shoulder but he stumbles away nearly falling back into the floor not wanting to be touched by anyone.

He finds that he is not human enough to cry. It’s that or he’s not human at all without your presence.

854, i.

Levi has grown old without you, lived to see months and new seasons without you by his side. Over time his eyelids have become heavier, the corners of his mouth naturally droop and he remains perpetually somber.

Sometimes you visit him in his dreams, each time you make a silly comment about how his grey eye bags make him look like he’s been punched in the face. “Levi Ackerman, I swear if you don’t sleep soon!” You cushion the blow by whispering sweet nothings, reassuring him that you still think he’s beautiful.

Occasionally you add in that you don’t blame him for the past, but those conversations only last for a few seconds at a time.

“I don’t blame you.” It always starts off with the exact same phrase.

“I should have listened to you.” Levi’s tone is stern and uncompromising .

“Lev, I was never going to tell you to spare my life. You tried to listen to me, I could tell you wanted me to deny it.”

Levi refuses to answer you, he still thinks he’s at fault.

Not a day goes by where he doesn’t think of that ring. He regrets throwing it away recklessly into the rubble.

Some day he’ll return to Shiganshina to find it. The idea sounds laughable but he has to find a reason to smile as he fights for his life.

That is what Levi thinks as two set’s of jaws snap shut onto his legs, a flurry of red surrounds him. His throat constricts at the feeling of his thighs being ripped away from the rest of him.

“I tried.” He whimpers to no one in particular, eyes blank and losing meaning.

“I know Levi, I know.” The same voice from his dreams soothes him.

“Do not despair. Find me again in another world.” The biting wind adds in.

Levi’s eyelids flutter shut unable to do much else.

He’s unsure if he has the courage to face you again in another lifetime.

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darklydeliciousdesires · 2 years ago

Text

From Blood, Love and Courage - Chapter Seven.

A huge thank you to you all for your continued interest in this little story of mine! Your excitement over it and love really does bring me so much joy :)

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six

Words - 4,316

Tag list - In the comments, please message to be added/removed

Warnings - Mentions of rape and the associated trauma of such to come in future chapters. While I do not plan on detailing these overtly graphically, there will be detailing of such and conversations surrounding the subject, so if this is a trigger for you, you’d be best not to begin reading the story. 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

High knees while jogging in place. Lord, how he hated it. And she’d made him do it while alternating between other different exercises, too.

“Come on, you’re not even really sweating yet!”

“I can feel it running down my damned back!”

“Pfft, that’s nothing! Okay, jump lunges, twenty on alternating legs and then twenty jump squats, go!”

Ezekiel Reyes; he was a man in two worlds that morning. One of pain, and one of regret. Huge, eclipsing, all-encompassing regret.

“Jump burpees, thirty, go!”

Oh hell.

“Mountain climbers, fifty, go!”

His lungs felt as if he’d inhaled fire.

“Press ups, fifty, go!”

Holy mother of god.

“Back to jump squats, fifty, go!”

“Lily!”

She paused, giving him a curious sideways look. “Oh, does he quit? Is he ready to give up his fifty bucks?”

He wasn’t, so soldiered on. By the time he’d reached twenty-seven jump squats, his body told him that he was, pulling the slightly crumpled bill from his pocket and handing it to her.

“Why thank you, sir.”

He huffed, panting hard, picking up his water bottle and taking a few gulps before emptying it over his head. “You’re evil, and I concede. No wonder you look the way you do when you train that hard, Jesus.”

“Well, I have no choice but to, really. I can’t be anything less than one hundred percent fight ready right now,” she shrugged, taking her own water bottle and chugging back a few mouthfuls.

Indeed, she couldn’t, her match now just two days away. “How’re you feeling about it?” Her cringe made him laugh. “Oh, come on. Your coach wouldn’t have put you into it if he didn’t have faith that you’re competent enough, that you could win.”

“Yeah,” she scoffed, sipping more water. “He said that last time, and I walked away with dented pride and a really bad headache.”

EZ shrugged, standing up and stretching. “And there’s your incentive to go and beat her ass into submission, you have history there, a score to settle. Don’t let her get away with it twice.”

She took a deep breath, sinking down into the side splits to do some stretches. “I hear you, dude. My confidence will kick in eventually. Probably while I’m on my way to the octagon. As soon as I see it, it’s like, I remember who I am then, you know?”

He understood, offering what Lily soon thought to be the perfect analogy. “It’s almost like the octagon is your holy place, the space in which you feel more secure and connected. Kinda like a Muslim at Mecca, except more brutal.”

She beamed at his words. “Yes! That’s exactly it!” Pausing for more water, she took a glug, turning to see her love arriving with Coco through the gates. “Come on, we still have laps to jog, let’s go.”

“Absolutely not,” EZ replies determinedly, receiving a swift, soft kick up the butt.

“Move it! You might have lost, but the workout isn’t finished!” she ordered, pointing ahead. “Come on, pussy. Let’s go!”

He narrowed his eyes as she began to softly jog backwards, her face full of mischievous mirth. “Oh, you’d better run.” He shot after like a lion charging a gazelle, Lily squealing and adding speed to her pace, ducking and darting as she played chicken with him, full of giggles, Coco and Angel pausing to watch the scene unfold.

“Yo! You’re signing your own death warrant, boy scout!” Coco called, Angel remaining tight lipped. It bugged him no end, seeing how well his brother and girlfriend were getting along. It all seemed a shade too close for comfort to him. It only built as a full-on play fight followed, Lily managing to free herself of his grasp upon her wrist, turning under his arm and aiming a strike for his lower back, EZ spinning around and managing to lose an arm again when she grabbed it and twisted it back on him.

“Oh, you bastard!” she shouted, Bishop and Hank coming out to watch the scene, Lily shrieking as EZ attempted to stop her, cheating somewhat, grabbing the back of her thong where it peeked out from over her leggings and pulling, her scream loudening, their audience roaring.

“You gonna die, homes!” Coco called through his laughter, Lily sweeping at his legs, trying to get him over.

“Doubtful.” He yanked her thong higher, Angel not pleased at all seeing his brother grabbing at a handful of his girlfriend’s underwear, frowning heavily, Lily suddenly sweeping at his other leg as she shunted herself against his chest, taking him down, herself too since he refused to let go. She wiggled her way out of his grasp, locking both legs around his arm, holding his wrist in a tight grip and pressing her feet down into his chest, EZ attempting to move, but finding himself totally immobilised, much to his chagrin.

He tried, but he couldn’t free himself from such a hold, Angel finally beginning to see the funny side of it, Lily eventually releasing him, holding her hands aloft as she did a little victory lap. “Armstrong wins again!” she called with delight, EZ eventually getting up and offering his hand, shaking hers before giving her a hug.

“My brother is right, you are dynamite, Lily.”

Lily grinned up at him. “And you’d do well to remember that before trying to win via wedgie ripping!” It should have been a cute sight, EZ conceding, hugging his opponent in admission of his loss, but for Angel, it only made him burn with jealousy. It might have been a play fight, but for him, it had connotations of flirting to it, especially with his brother taking a handful of her underwear, and Lily not even telling him that such a move was wildly inappropriate.

EZ went off to get a shower, Lily moving to Angel, hugging him. He stiffened a little. “Hey, what’s up?”

“You’re all sweaty,” he muttered.

She was a little perplexed. “That doesn’t usually bother you.”

“Yeah, but I ain’t trying to get my clean clothes all messed up, go take a shower first.”

“Angel, is there something wrong? You’re acting off with me,” she questioned, her boyfriend crinkling his nose slightly.

“Nah, we’re good.” They weren’t, though, and she knew it. Something was bugging him. Unfortunately, she didn’t have time to pursue it, running into the clubhouse bathroom to quickly shower and then dress, her shift beginning at the coffee shop in a half hour.

“So, I’ll meet you back here tonight? You can hug me now, too,” she spoke, approaching him. He did, but it wasn’t with his usual warmth. “And we’ll talk too, because something is up with you.”

“Yeah, alright. See ya.”

She kissed him, turning to leave. “Love you.” she called over her shoulder.

“Hmm.” He was pissed off to hell, but when that happened with Angel, when something hit him emotionally, he wasn’t always quick to verbalise it. Sometimes, he would dramatically blow up, and others, he’d seek out another way to let the person know they’d pissed him off.

Unfortunately for Lily, he’d choose the latter. Until then, though, she could only wonder what she’d done wrong. It hit her about ten minutes into her shift, kicking herself as she took cake slices carefully from the catering pack sized box and arranged them neatly within the glass display.

Who had her boyfriend always felt as if he’d lived in a perpetual shadow of? His brother. She suddenly saw it through his eyes, how he might feel insecure over what was simply her making an effort with his family, her actions misconstrued as rejecting him in favour of EZ now that they’d met. She cringed, scrunching her eyes shut as it hit her in waves. Fuck.

They’d both being doing really well, too, until very recently, each of them now having an emotional wobble where there was absolutely no genuine cause for such to occur.

She had to call him.

The sooner she could acknowledge that she knew how it looked, and reassure him just like he had with her and Sofia, the better. Because of the rush, though, she didn��t get a chance to take her lunch break until 2:15pm, sitting in the small staff room at the back of the shop and calling him. No answer. She paid it no mind, figuring he was likely busy and made a note to try again at the end of her break. Still, no answer, nor the other few times she attempted to call him when Carol wasn’t watching her like a hawk. She knew this had less to do with being busy and everything to do with him being annoyed at her.

Sadly, he could be childish at times, so she’d noticed, so she guessed this pouting and ignoring her wasn’t too out of the ordinary. Once she returned to the clubhouse, she planned to pull him aside and talk with him, but upon her arrival, she saw that Angel had very different ideas on how to handle his mood. They included another girl.

Watching the scene as she parked up, she could make him out, him and a few others around the fire pit, sitting there with a girl on his lap, beginning to kiss her as he saw her getting out of the car. Anger shot through her, but she knew he was doing this for a reason, that reason being that he wanted to provoke a fight, sought for it to all blow up. This was him throwing bombs at a good thing, just like he’d warned her. Except she wouldn’t fall for it, or give him what he was seeking.

“Hey, Lilypad,” Taza greeted her with, Lily bending to kiss his cheek. “I have no clue why he’s being like that, but I’m sorry.” he then whispered as he held her head close, Lily nodding.

“And my sugar is where?” Bishop called, making a kissy face at her. He laughed warmly as she made her way to him, bending to greet him with the required kiss, completely ignoring Angel and the barely dressed woman sitting astride him.

“Anyone want a drink?” she asked, looking between him and Taza, Gilly ambling over and taking a seat after greeting her.

“Nah, we’re all set, sweetheart.” Bishop replied, gesturing with his eyes over to Angel and back at her with a questioning face. The look he received told him clearly, it’d get sorted. He could only quietly wonder how, surprised she hadn’t flung the girl off of her boyfriend and then kicked him clean out of his seat.

Going inside, she got her usual of vodka over ice, saying hi to a few more of the guys before heading back out and seating herself next to Taza, turning to watch Angel silently. Everyone felt it, the air thickening, Lily’s displeasure very palpable, until finally, she spoke.

“Care to explain your bullshit to me, Angel?” she asked, calmly and evenly.

He didn’t tear his eyes away from the girl to begin with, making her wait before he finally turned his head. “It’s called payback.”

“Okay, I expected you to be annoyed because of this morning, but really, this is how you’ve chosen to deal with it, by being the guy you said you didn’t want to be any longer? I realise how it might have looked to you, but I thought we could discuss it civilly, not have you act like a complete ass.”

“Oh what, you think you can be all over my brother this morning and I’ll just let that shit slide? Nah, no way. How’d you fucking like it, Lily?” he vented strongly, his brows furrowing.

She was aghast. “All over your brother? We had a playfight, Angel. Big deal!”

“Oh, like the big deal you made of me hugging Sofia the other day, huh?” he charged her with, his temper beginning to ignite.

“Which I apologised for as soon as I knew I was wrong and behaving stupidly!” she yelled, Angel snorting and shaking his head.

“You ain’t over it, though, or you wouldn’t be trying to use my brother to get to me, would you? Didn’t have you pegged for someone who’s vindictive, but apparently, I’m wrong. Either that or you just want his dick, probably a little of both.”

And yet the behaviour she was witnessing from him right then was the very definition of vindictiveness.

“So, you’re doing this just to hurt me, because of what you perceive you saw, right?”

He was defiant in the face of her accusation. “I’m doing this because I want to.”

“Emotional retaliation because you let your jealousy do the talking. I thought you didn’t want to be that guy any longer? The guy who fucks up a good thing?”

He glowered, hands stroking the curve of Izzy’s waist. “Who’s to say you’re a good thing?”

Lily felt her temper spiking, the sharpness of his words cutting, upsetting, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of handing him what he wanted, because she knew exactly what he was doing, and why. “Stop looking for a reaction from me because something I did completely innocently hurt you, because of how you feel about you, and not how you feel about me, or me trying to get to know your brother. Those are your issues. Don’t make them mine when you can’t even have the basic decency to come to me and talk.”

He said nothing, because there was nothing he could come back with in the face of her uncomfortable truth; his uncomfortable truth. “So, if you’re that confident that this is what you want, then fine. Do it right in front of me. Have some balls. Or perhaps, have the fucking stones to do the right thing and admit you fucked up and overreacted. Drama only keeps on biting at your ass because you invite it to do so each and every time, you know. So, come on. As you were.”

She sat back, kicking her feet up on the crate before her, feeling Taza reach to discreetly squeeze the back of her arm. She turned to him, acknowledging his deep nod of respect, her wise new friend telling her without words how well she’d handled the situation.

As Angel sat, he felt himself grow more uncomfortable by the second, each separate thread of that discomfort braiding together within his mind, the fact that once again, he’d acted like an ass because of his own insecurities, that Lily had rightfully shamed him for it in front of three of his brothers, and the growing realisation that she wasn’t prepared to stand for it, sitting there staring at him, her eyes icy, her gaze unwavering.

He’d disappointed himself and her, but she hadn’t let him get away with it, or given him the reaction he’d sought. She could have flounced off, but she hadn’t. Why? She knew they deserved more, and she wasn’t prepared to let him ruin what they had because he was a coward, but by god, she’d make him acknowledge it, be answerable to both his wrongs and her, all in one fell swoop.

No other woman had seen straight through his bullshit like that before.

He straightened, looking up at Izzy. “Yeah, you need to leave.”

The girl made a hmph noise of light annoyance, climbing from his lap and sauntering back into the clubhouse, Angel looking over at Lily, arms folded, her face expectant. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

“No,” she began, nodding to Bishop, Gilly and Taza. “Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of them.”

Oh, hell. She wasn’t going to make anything easy for him.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Her question was so cold and biting, he was surprised those two words didn’t freeze as soon as they left her mouth.

“For acting like a fucking pendejo.”

“And why did you act like a pendejo, exactly?”

His mouth tightened, discomfort riddling him. “Because I’m self-destructive where women are concerned.”

“And what are you not going to do in the future?”

Oh, she was really, really going to town on him, Bishop and Gilly glancing at one another, cringing on Angel’s behalf, although they both separately thought that this was exactly what he needed, a damned good dressing down by his girlfriend for his bullshit. Taza only looked on at her proudly, such was the weight of his genuine affection for the young woman he’d befriended. Also, as much as he loved him, Angel had it coming. This was, after all, why he hadn’t been able to keep a steady girlfriend in years, which was a presence in his life Taza knew he needed probably more than most.

“I’m not going to fuck things up by running off with someone else just because I feel...”

“Because you feel what?”

He inhaled sharply through his nose, bolting back his beer. “Because I feel insecure!” God, he hated her in that moment for making him speak the truth, absolutely mortified by it, but shit, underneath, did he love her for it, too. She wasn’t giving up on him, and she was determined to show him how much of a better person he was capable of being. His bullshit? I wasn’t going to work on Lily. He wouldn’t, or rather couldn’t, scare her away.

She nodded with satisfaction, standing up slowly as she walked to him, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “That is because no matter how much of a stupid fuck you are, I love you.” She then recoiled her fist and punched him sharply, straight in the eye. “And that is for trying to make me look like an idiot. You will never, ever fucking try and taunt me with another woman again because of your own internal crap, or next time, I throw you in that cage over there and really go to town on you, and by the time I’m done, you won’t have the luxury of calling me your girlfriend. You’ll just have broken bones, cuts and bruises. Learn your damned lesson from this, Angel Reyes.”

“Ooooh, she’s pissed!” Gilly whispered, wincing, Bishop crushing the side of his tongue between his teeth to prevent himself from laughing, Taza not even bothering biting back the smirk.

“I deserved that, I did,” Angel began, gingerly touching his eye. Fuck, she threw a mean punch. “You want another drink?”

“My usual, please.”

“Alright. And I am sorry, baby. I know I fucked up. I know. I’m gonna make it right with you, though, I swear.” He turned, heading back into the clubhouse. As soon as the door had swung shut behind the blare of loud music, Bishop broke, snorting before hysterical laughter followed, Gilly and Taza both in similar states.

“You’re in the wrong job, Lily,” he began. “You should be a fucking interrogator. You’d empty Guantanamo in about twenty minutes!”

She sat back down, Taza pulling her into a hug, kissing atop her head. “He’s needed a woman to do that to him for years. Trust me, darling. That’ll be the last time he ever acts up!” They continued to laugh hysterically for a couple of moments before composing themselves, Angel coming back out with a massive measure of vodka and a beer... and a towel with ice in it, which as soon as he rested against his eye, had Bishop in hysterics again.

“Fuck you, Bish! You should be on the receiving end of one of her punches, shit man, she don’t play!”

“And you deserved it, my friend,” Bishop replied, swigging his beer, knowing that the entertainment value of the moment wouldn’t leave him for a while. “If you’re gonna pick a chick who does MMA for fun as your sweetie, you have to expect that she might, just might, be a little temperamental if you piss her off.”

“Yeah, me and my stinging eye know all about it, thank you.”

“Don’t be a drama queen, baby,” Lily warned softly, reaching to stroke his forearm, her anger towards him beginning to simmer.

“I’m not! Woman, you just slugged me so hard, I saw the faces of my damned ancestors for a few seconds!” His words only stoked the laughter at his expense, Lily eventually cooling off enough to join them.

“And did they tell you to stop being a prick as well?”

He muttered something under his breath, sipping his beer. “I’m glad y’all think this is hilarious!”

“Don’t worry, we do.” Taza’s chuckles rumbled on, reaching to squeeze Lily’s hand.

Angel looked between her and the ground a few times, her eyes falling back upon him. “We good?”

Her nostrils flared, only ever so slightly, her jaw twitching. “Not quite. We’ll discuss it more later on.” Once back at her place three hours later, that’s exactly what they did, sitting out on her small balcony, sharing a bottle of tequila.

He knew she was still mad at him, he could see it clearly through her frosty demeanour, knowing he’d have to work his ass off to claw back a little of her trust again. What he’d done, childishly trying to make her feel like shit because of his insecurity, had triggered her own, of being abandoned, of not being someone’s choice long term... the exact same issues he had in relationships.

“I feel like such a dick for what I did, I really do,” he admitted, sighing. “I just... seeing you and EZ getting on so well, and he was always the one who was better than me, fucking golden boy, he had everything that I didn't, so...”

Where he trailed off, Lily filled in the blanks. “So why wouldn’t he have me too? Why would I want you with him on offer?” He nodded, his lips pressed together firmly. “Except, your brother isn’t on offer to me, and I’m not on offer to him. Or anyone else, for that matter.”

“He said you’re hot, when we discussed you.” That was hardly reason for Angel to have freaked out in the way that he did, but she got it.

“That doesn’t mean shit! All I want from EZ is to be his friend, and you know full well he loves you too much to ever make moves towards me. Has he done that in the past, gone after one of your girls?”

“Nope.”

“Well then!” She softened a little then, realising her exasperated tone wasn’t necessary. Of course, she’d had a similar visceral reaction in storming off after seeing Angel innocently catching up with Sofia only a few days before, him having to reassure her it wasn’t what she thought. She’d got over it without feeling the need to punish him, though. Angel, it seemed, was very different in that respect.

“You can’t punish me for trying to get to know your family. You could have given me the chance to reassure you, like you did when I flipped at seeing you hugging Sofia, but you didn’t, and that’s what really hurt me, the vindictiveness of it.”

He shook his head, shrugging. “I guess I’m just a bad guy who doesn’t deserve you.”

No. She wasn’t having that. “Angel, you have a really good heart; you just need to unwrap the layers of razor wire which surround it, or no one will ever be able to get close to it. I’ve been putting the work in, since you turned up at the coffee shop and made me face up to my toxic shit of running away, and that was right at the damned start. I’ve now been cut on your razor wire, so unless you want me to keep on bleeding because of you, it’s time to remove it and fucking let me in properly. I thought you had, but really, you wouldn’t have gone to such lengths if that were true.”

He breathed in deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose as he shook his head. “It’s fucking terrifying, how well you know me, know my shit,” he began, bolting back the tequila, Lily following suit before he topped off their glasses. “However, it’s also a comfort, not that I’ve wanted to let it be much of one. I know that I need to, though, that there’s probably nobody else out there who’s better for me than you are, or who’ll ever understand me like you do. And I did let you in, baby. I have, more than any woman I can remember in recent years. I just let my toxic behaviour take over and I won’t do it again. I promise you.”

Her mouth twitched at the corner, Lily nodding just once, tongue rolling around her mouth softly as he continued. “Another thing about you that I love, you don’t accept me for who I am either, because who I am is a fucking jerk. You accept me for who you know I’m capable of being, the man you’ve seen, the man I have been when I’m with you, up until today.”

“We are all but one person, Angel,” she began, lighting a cigarette, knocking the pack across the table to him with her fingernail. “It just depends on whether we feed our light, or our dark.”

He took a deep breath, drawing up a little before resting back, letting the air out slowly though his nose before reaching for the cigarette packet. “That shit’s profound.”

“Yes, and if you were brave enough to feed your light a little more where instances like today are concerned and just talk to me, you could be profoundly happy. We could be profoundly happy. I mean, I thought you were until tonight.” She got up, moving across the small space, shimmying between the rail and the table, seating herself across his lap. “Are you brave enough to be happy?”

The way he kissed her was all the answer she needed.

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kingexpl0sionmurder · 4 years ago

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Mutual Misunderstandings - Kirishima Eijirou - Smut

Author: @kingexpl0sionmurder Pairing: Kirishima Eijirou / F!Reader Rating: 18+ (Contains smut) Words: 5,866 Warnings: Quirkless AU, Aged up characters (they adulty adults!), unprotected vaginal sex, oral (male receiving), very very light choking, reader has a bit of a size kink. AN: Another entry for the BNHAREM collab! This time we’re writing roommates, and I somehow managed to snag Kirishima! I’m super excited for all of the fics coming this time around, so make sure you click on the link below and read some of the other submissions!

This is my first time writing Kirishima and I’m super nervous about it. I’ve always really loved him because he’s just the best boy and he’s so brave and strong and gentle and I just want to cuddle him into oblivion. I also firmly believe he’s going to be a huge tank of a man when he gets older and I’m going with that vision of him here.

Collab Masterlist is HERE My Masterlist is HERE Buy me a KoFi if you’re feeling froggy HERE

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You stood in your living room, your jaw hanging open, staring at him in shock. Kirishima had a similar look on his face, the two of you pointing at each other like that Spider-Man meme.

“You mean to tell me you’ve had a crush on me this whole time?” You finally choked out, blinking owlishly at your best friend and roommate. “I thought you liked Mina!”

Kirishima sputtered, shaking his head. “No way! She’s my friend, we’ve known each other since middle school, you know that.” He moved to cross his arms across his broad chest. “And anyway, there’s no way you like me, you have a crush on Bakugou!”

There was no way this was happening right now. “No! I don’t like Bakugou like that! He’s a pain in my fucking ass, and I think about murdering him on a daily basis.” Facepalming, you groaned. “Are we really this stupid?”

How did you end up here?

It started back in your first year of college.

The parties and the seemingly endless studying had become a comfortable routine for you. So what if you were sleep-deprived and living on cup noodles? You were getting your higher education and ready to tackle the real world head-on in just a few short years.

A pipe dream, but still.

You had your best friend Shinsou by your side and a customer loyalty card at the campus coffee shop and everything was right with the world. You’d even managed to get paired up with Hitoshi’s (sort of) boyfriend for an English project, which was a better outcome than what you could have hoped for, not having to work with some rando on something that would be a large chunk of your grade.

Kaminari had suggested that you work on it at his place with the promise of Doritos, and you agreed. Who were you to turn down snacks? Poor college students needed those cheese dusted carbs to survive.

The Upsilon Alpha fraternity was one of the best and most popular on campus, and at first, you found it almost laughable that Kaminari was a member. At first glance, he seemed like a total space cadet stoner who didn’t belong in college, much less as a member of such an esteemed frat. However, after getting to know him, you knew that he was most definitely all of those things, but he was also insanely smart when it counted and kept above average grades in his classes (except for math, but with him being a bisexual disaster human, it came with the territory).

You had made some decent progress on your project after about an hour. The outline was done, and you were discussing how you would be presenting it since you had a choice between a written essay or a PowerPoint presentation.

Without warning, the kitchen door flew open, the doorknob slamming into the wall behind it.

“Well, the quiet was nice while it lasted, huh?” Kaminari blinked, completely unfazed by the commotion, leaning back in his chair and eating a chip.

Your gaze flitted over to the man who was glaring at the two of you from the doorway, his hands shoved in his pockets. Blonde hair that looked so much like an explosion was sticking up in every direction on his head, and you felt his red eyes trained on you as he took in the room. “What are you doing, Dunceface?”

Kaminari didn’t answer right away, raising his eyebrow and grinning at the new arrival. “Hey, Kacchan.”

If the bulging vein in the man’s forehead was any indication, Kaminari had said the wrong thing. He opened his mouth, and you assumed it was to threaten your project partner, but he was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder from behind.

“Bakubro, be nice. Kami has company.”

The man that appeared beyond the angry pomeranian took your breath away. He was...big. Like, his shoulders were so wide you wondered how he was going to fit through the doorway. And he was tall, with spiked red hair making him look even taller, big red eyes and sharp teeth, and the most beautiful smile you’d ever laid eyes on.

Blonde and grumpy grumbled, moving aside to let giant and red into the room, who then turned that megawatt million-dollar smile on you, and you tried your best not to stare at his biceps or the way his shirt clung to his chest.

Was it hot in here all of a sudden?

“Hi! I’m Kirishima, and this ray of sunshine is Bakugou, we’re some of Kaminari’s frat brothers!” He held out his hand for you to shake, and you smiled up at him, taking his giant hand in yours. The size of his fingers sent your brain reeling, and you knew you needed to get yourself under control before you started moaning out loud in front of him.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you! Kami and I are just working on an English project.” You explained, grinning back up at him, trying to keep the lust off of your face. You didn’t want to look like some kind of freak.

He took his hand back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, you must be Shinsou’s friend! Kami told us you’d be coming over, I forgot about that.” He turned, watching as Bakugou slunk over to the fridge and opened the door. “Don’t let us bother you, we’re just grabbing some water before we head to the gym.”

Kaminari snorted. “Dude, if you get any beefier we’re going to need to remodel the doors so you can fit through them.”

Kirishima turned as red as his hair, glancing at you, before he grinned at his friend. “If I stop, no one will be able to bench press you and Sero at the same time at the next party.”

“Bro, that is my favorite party trick of yours.” He sat up straighter, looking forlorn at the thought of it not happening anymore. “Okay, fine, go to the gym.”

Bakugou grumbled from behind him something that sounded like “I could bench press four of you if I wanted to.”

“Of course you could, buddy.” Kirishima slung his arm over Bakugou’s shoulder. “Okay, we’re out of here. It was nice to meet you, Y/N. Good luck with your project!”

Bakugou grunted and shoved a water bottle at Kirishima, shrugging out from under his arm and leaving the room. Kirishima smiled at you when you said goodbye, hurrying after his sour-faced friend and leaving you and Kaminari to your work.

“Your housemates are...interesting.” You managed, still trying to wrap your head around the red-haired man.

Kaminari snorted. “Kirishima is the walking definition of sunshine, and Bakugou is...well, he takes some getting used to. But he’s not a bad guy.”

You just hummed, chewing on your pen absently. “Can he actually bench press you?”

“Fuck yeah. He does it one-handed. You should come to our next party and see for yourself.”

Keeping your face as neutral as possible, you nodded. “Maybe I can convince Shinsou to come with me.” Wiggling your eyebrows at Kaminari when he blushed, you turned back to the notebook that lay open in front of you. “Come on, let’s figure this out so we can talk more about your intentions with my best friend.”

You did show up to the next UA frat party, Shinsou in tow. Your purple-haired bestie was grumbling the whole way, his hands shoved in his pockets. It didn’t stop him from making fun of how short your skirt was and teasing you about how you’d done nothing but talk about Kirishima since the day you’d met him.

“He’s like Clifford the Big Red Dog, Y/N. Clumsy and adorable.”

“He’s definitely big. I’d like to climb him like a tree.” You linked your arm with his, walking up to the giant house, the windows already rattling with the bass pumping through the speakers inside.

“You’re disgusting. I am appalled and also proud to call you my best friend.” Sarcastic as usual, he let you drag him along without a fuss.

“That sounds about right.”

The party was in full swing, half the campus milling around inside the house with red plastic cups in hand. You found Kaminari almost immediately, shoving Shinsou towards him and making your way to the kitchen to find yourself a drink.

“Y/N!” Kirishima was in front of you almost immediately, giant cat eyes and his shark tooth smile lighting up the room. “Kami mentioned you might show up!”

Blushing, you nodded, suddenly losing the ability to form words. He was wearing a tank top, his arm muscles on display, and you took a moment to thank the Lord for the blessing before you.

“You want a drink?”

You realized you were staring, so you cleared your throat and smiled at him. “Yes, please.”

His large hand wrapped around your elbow gently as he tugged you through the crowd in the kitchen and out towards the back porch. You tried not to think about how your skin was burning under his touch. You needed to get a grip.

He got to work on the keg, pumping the handle on the top and grabbing you a cup, tilting it a bit as he filled it with beer.

“Hey, shitty hair! Beer pong!” You turned to see Bakugou standing on the other side of the large wooden deck, his arm resting on the shoulder of a tall and lanky brown-haired boy. “Sero here wants to break up the dream team! Find a partner!”

Kirishima chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, hang on!” He turned to you, handing you your drink. “So, you play beer pong?”

Bringing the cup to your lips, you tilted your head back and chugged your beer, wiping your mouth off with the back of your hand when you’d finished. Kirishima was staring at you with wide eyes, looking surprised but pleased. “Yeah. I’m better when I’m drunk, though.”

He held out his hand for the empty cup, moving to fill it up again, his grin never faltering. “Let’s go kick their asses.”

That was the beginning of your friendship with Kirishima. What had started as a crush on the red-haired man had turned into a companionship that you couldn’t ever see yourself without. That was why you never said a word about how you really felt.

As cliché as it was, you didn’t know how you’d survived without the guy. He was nothing short of amazing. He was a great listener, and he gave good advice. He was always there when you needed him, bringing you soup when you were sick, going on late-night snack runs when you were up all night studying for exams, showing up with chocolate and tampons when it was your time of the month.

Shinsou had always done those things for you, but he was spending a lot of time with his boyfriend now. You weren’t upset about it though, you thought they were the cutest and you didn’t want to third wheel their time together, so you hung out with Kirishima and Bakugou a lot more often.

As Kaminari had told you on that first day, Bakugou truly wasn’t a bad guy. His attitude got on your nerves though, and you envisioned punching him in the face at least four times a day, but you didn’t dislike him. He and Kirishima were best friends, so he was a part of the package, and you learned to deal with him.

So it was a no-brainer when Kirishima and Bakugou approached you and asked if you wanted to get an apartment with them once you’d graduated. With the three of you living together, you were able to afford a nicer apartment than you’d ever dreamed of having that was in a central location and only a few train stops away from where your respective jobs were located.

Things were going well, and you’d done a decent job of keeping your true feelings for Kirishima to yourself. It helped that he’d never dated anyone, and you were free to lust after him quietly, under the impression that no one had caught on to how you really felt, perfectly content to continue as you had been since the day you’d met him.

The only wrench in your plans of quiet pining was Mina Ashido.

Mina was awesome, and you loved her to pieces. She was one of the only other females in your friend group and had been around since you’d gotten closer to the boys in the frat that first year of college. She was the perfect person to go to when you needed some self-care nights, always down to put on a face mask and paint your nails, and she was the best shopping partner.

However, you were thoroughly convinced that Kirishima liked her.

You’d noticed, as far back as your freshman year, how they always gravitated towards each other in social settings. Mina was always one of the last ones to leave when you went out back then, always the one Kirishima threw his arm around when you walked back to campus from the bar.

It was part of the reason you’d become close with Bakugou in the first place. Whenever Kiri was with Mina, you always sidled up to the explosive blonde, teasing him to distract yourself from the way your heart was squeezing in your chest.

Neither of them had ever mentioned having more than just a platonic, friendly relationship with each other, but you couldn’t shake the feeling you got whenever you saw them together.

It’s called jealousy, you idiot.

You had nothing to be jealous about though. Kirishima was your friend, and that’s all he would ever be.

Things had been going well, at least that’s what you’d thought. And then this morning had happened.

It was Saturday, which was your normal grocery shopping day. You and Bakugou had taken on the burden of shopping for groceries for the apartment. You’d allowed Kirishima to go once and he came home with more junk food than should be allowed in one cart, and half of the things on the list you’d given him missing, and more protein powder than should be legally allowed.

Bakugou had worked out a system and your grocery shopping trips were like a well-oiled machine that took no longer than an hour out of your day, and you were grateful for your grumpy friend and his penchant for being overly organized.

You finished getting dressed, ready to get this over with so you could use the rest of the day to play video games and be generally lazy. Walking into the living room, you stopped in your tracks to see your roommates glaring at each other, which was normal for one of them, and uncharacteristic for the other.

“Everything okay?” Your eyes darted between the two men, taking in Kirishima’s stiff posture and clenched jaw.

“Fine. I’m going shopping alone today.” Bakugou grunted, turning away from his best friend.

Puzzled, you frowned. “What? Why?”

Bakugou stopped in the doorway, turning to face the both of you, looking thoroughly fed up. He lifted his hand and pointed. “The two of you are making me want to commit myself. I’ve been dealing with this shit for years, and it ends today. You’re in love with each other. Figure your shit out and fuck already. I’ll be out for the rest of the day.”

You gaped after him as he turned again, giving you both the middle finger over his shoulder as he left, the door slamming shut behind him.

And that brings us up to speed.

“Are we really this stupid?” You asked, shutting your eyes and leaning your head back.

Kirishima sighed. “This doesn’t make any sense. Since when?”

Snorting, you flopped down on the couch, rubbing at your face tiredly. “Truthfully? Since the moment we met.” You guessed the cat was out of the bag, so you might as well tell him everything. “In the kitchen at the frat house.”

“When you came over to work on that project with Denki?” His eyebrows furrowed, an adorably confused look on his face. “Are you telling me I’ve been pushing you at Bakugou for nearly 5 years for no reason?”

“Yeah, you could stop doing that at any time and I would appreciate it. Unless you want me to strangle him to death.”

Kirishima flopped down on the other end of the couch, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “I’ve liked you just as long, you know? I saw you sitting in our kitchen and I thought I was going to throw up.”

“If that was supposed to make me feel good about myself then you’ve failed miserably.”

“No! I just mean, the butterflies-” He groaned. “Shut up and let me get this out okay?”

Smirking at him, you turned your body, leaning against the back of the couch. “Okay, sorry, keep going.”

Taking a deep breath, he continued, red eyes trained on your face. “Do you remember the frat party?”

“Which one?”

“That first one, when you chugged that beer in front of me and then helped me kick Bakugou’s ass at beer pong?” He waited for you to nod before he spoke again. “I’d never felt so enamored with anyone in my entire life.” Kirishima let his gaze fall to his hands. “You were so awesome and funny and beautiful and you kept up with my friends and their dumbass antics like a pro and I just...I couldn’t believe you were real. I just kept telling myself that you would never be into someone like me, so I decided that if we could be friends for life then that would be enough.”

“Ei…” You trailed off, frowning. You’d always known he tended to get down on himself. You and Bakugou had done your best to convince him he was worth much more than he let himself believe, but sometimes he needed a reminder.

“I know, I know. I don’t feel that way anymore, but at the time I did.” His hair was down, tied back in a loose bun, bits of his fringe falling in his eyes. He pushed a piece of it behind his ear and kept going. “So I tried to keep my distance, kept on hanging around with Mina, tried not to think about how much I wanted to be with you. She kept telling me I needed to tell you, kept rubbing it in that I wasn’t being manly about it. But you were hanging out with Bakugou so much I just figured you liked him and I didn’t want to get in the way.”

Closing your eyes, you let your head fall forward. “I was hanging out with Bakugou because I couldn’t stand seeing you with Mina so much. I was jealous.” Realization hit, and your eyes snapped open. “Mina knew?”

“Yeah, she’s the only one I told.”

“All those times we hung out and she never said a word.” Chuckling, you shook your head. “I told Shinsou. It’s like the only secret he’s ever kept from Kaminari. I threatened to mutilate him beyond all recognition if he mentioned a word to anyone.” You grinned sheepishly at him.

Kirishima huffed a laugh. “You’ve been spending way too much time with Bakugou. Your threats are just as creative as his.”

“Speaking of, I guess he figured it out on his own then.”

Humming, he shrugged. “He was always the smartest one out of all of us.” He looked over at you again. “So, now it’s your turn.”

Raising an eyebrow, you blinked at him. “For what? A heartfelt confession?”

“It’s only fair. I told you how I felt. What did you think when you first met me?”

You felt your ears get hot. “Do you want the truth? Because it’s kind of embarrassing.”

Shifting himself on the couch, he leaned against the arm, tanned forearms resting on his knees. “Oh, this should be good.” He teased, grinning.

“Shut up.” You sighed, preparing yourself for his reaction. “When you walked into the kitchen that day, my first thoughts were...uh...pretty dirty. Like X rated.”

Eyes wide, he stared at you. “Really? How dirty are we talking here?”

You covered your face with your hands, mumbling your answer behind them.

“Sorry, what was that?” He was fucking with you again, you could hear the smirk in his voice, and you were tempted to smack him with a throw pillow.

Taking a deep breath, you moved your hands from your face, looking him right in the eye. “I said, I wanted you to step on me.”

Sputtering, he blinked a few times. “What?”

“I mean, you were this...tank, Eijirou. Like this giant man with gorgeous eyes and a killer smile, with the personality of fucking sunshine and you had these big hands and I wanted you to wrap them around my throat and-”

“Whoa whoa whoa, seriously?” His cheeks were as red as his hair, his hands flailing as he stopped your tirade. “You wanted me to…?

Nodding solemnly, you looked him dead in the eyes. “Yes, and I’ve thought about that like every day since then.”

“I am learning things about you today that I never even imagined.” Blowing a breath out he slumped back, looking shook.

You hurried on, wanting him to know it was more than that. “I mean, after that I got to know you and I love everything about you, Ei. I just, you’re such a good person, better than I could ever be. You care about everyone and you’re always there for me, for all of us, whenever we need you. You’re strong and funny and brave. I always know that I can rely on you.” Sniffling, you couldn’t help the emotions bubbling to the surface.

“But you also want me to step on you.” He was grinning, his eyes a little wet, too.

Wiping at your eyes with your fingers, you chuckled. “Yes, exactly.”

Sighing, he leaned forward, grabbing your arm and tugging. “Come here.”

Crawling across the couch, you laid down between his parted legs, your head resting on his chest. He wrapped his giant arms around you and kissed the top of your head.

“Now what?” You asked, realizing you were afraid of the answer. What happened now?

He hummed, and you heard the sound vibrate through his chest. “I was going to suggest a nap, but now I keep thinking about what you said…”

You lifted up to ask what he meant, shifting your body and freezing when you felt something hard brush against your thigh. Eyes meeting his, you bit your lip at the look on his face, feeling a blush creep over your face and down your neck. “Yeah?”

“I figured we can do things out of order a little bit, right? I’m going to take you on a real date and court you properly, like a gentleman and all that, but right now all I can think about is, well…” He sat up, grabbing you around the waist and lifting you like it was nothing, until you were sitting properly on his lap, straddling his hips. When he was satisfied, his hand moved to your throat, putting the smallest amount of pressure on the sides of your neck with his calloused fingertips.

The moan that tore from your throat was low and quiet, but he heard it, muttering a curse under his breath as you became nearly boneless in his lap. “Eijriou.” You managed, licking your lips and gazing at him through half-closed eyes, your blood pounding in your ears.

It was ridiculous how turned on you were in that moment, and he’d barely done a thing. You felt his cock twitch beneath you, and you couldn’t help but grind down on him, the small amount of friction making you shiver.

Suddenly he was guiding you towards him, your noses bumping and breath mingling as he held you in place, his lips just out of your reach. “You don’t know how much I’ve always wanted you, Y/N.”

Letting your eyes slide closed, you ran your hands up his muscled arms and rested them on his shoulders to keep yourself upright. You were tired of waiting, of keeping yourself from what you wanted. “Show me.”

If you were to die right here on this couch it would have all been worth it. The feeling of his lips on yours, the way he ran his thumb lightly over your throat as he kissed you, had your eyes rolling back in their sockets. You couldn’t get enough of the taste of him, of the feeling of his hard body beneath your fingertips. He was careful with his sharp teeth, tugging at your bottom lip lightly, your tongues sliding together as he rolled his hips against yours.

You pulled back for air finally, taking in his kiss bruised lips and dilated pupils. Reaching down, you tore your shirt over your head, tossing it across the room, never breaking eye contact. You watched his gaze fall to your heaving chest as he worried at his bottom lip for a moment, obviously lost in thought.

Before you could ask him what he was thinking about, he’d shifted again so that his feet were on the floor. Kirishima lifted you off his lap and put you on your feet in front of him, hands moving to your waist, fingers slipping into the elastic of the leggings you were wearing. He pressed his face to your bare stomach, kissing your skin as he worked your pants down your thighs, slipping them past your knees. You played with his hair, moaning softly as he kissed along your hip.

When he sat back you stepped out of your leggings, feeling exposed. You forgot how to be awkward when he was looking at you like that, hungry and wanting. Stepping forward, you pouted. “Why am I the only one half-naked?”

Chuckling, he pulled his shirt off, and you sucked in a breath, trying to wrap your head around the fact that this man, with a chiseled and perfect body like a Greek god, wanted you.

You didn’t even have time to admire him, because he was moving again, pulling you closer by your thighs, sharp teeth hooking into the front of your panties and dragging them down. Tugging the tie out of his hair, you slid it on your wrist, letting your fingers card through his red locks. He let his hands do the rest of the work until the offending garment was tangled around your ankles.

Pushing him away gently, you watched him settle back on the couch, red eyes gazing at you as you reached back to unclasp your bra, letting it fall to the floor, finally fully exposed to him. Kirishima sucked in a breath, blinking a few times in disbelief. “God, you’re so beautiful.”

You kicked your panties to the side, moving to kneel in front of him, reaching up to grasp the top of his grey sweats, mouth-watering when you started to tug them down. Kirishima was huge everywhere else, so the size of his cock was of no surprise to you. He was massive, long, and girthy, and you couldn’t wait to feel him inside you, stuffing you full.

Rubbing your thighs together for some relief, you left his sweats around his ankles, leaning forward and grasping his cock in your hand. It was almost comical how small your hands looked compared to it. Your eyes locked with his as you licked a long stripe up the shaft, tracing along the prominent vein on the underside, and lapping at the precum dripping from the head.

Kirishima’s head fell back to rest on the cushion behind him, his fingers tangling in your hair as you took him into your mouth. Your jaw ached almost immediately as you did your best to swallow all of him down, willing your throat to relax. You’d spent so long thinking about how he would taste and sound as you sucked his soul out through his dick, you were going to make the most out of this moment.

His breathy pants filled the room, along with the obscene slurping sounds of your mouth around his cock. Gripping your hair and tugging lightly, you could tell he was holding back, his thighs shaking with the effort to keep from fucking up into your face. You pulled off, opening your mouth to let him know he could wreck you however he wanted, but he had other plans.

“Come up here, baby.”

The pet name sent shivers through you as you stood up, straddling his lap, his cock pressed up against his stomach. His thumb brushed over your lips, wiping away the spit and pre that spilled down your chin. Cradling your face in his large palm, he pulled you forward and kissed you deeply, his free hand sliding between your bodies. Thick fingers parted your folds, and you lifted up on your knees to give him better access. You moaned into his mouth as he brushed over your clit, gathering the dripping wetness of your cunt along his digits and sliding one finger inside your hole.

You clenched around him, breaking the kiss and keening loudly, your hips involuntarily bucking against his hand. His finger pumped in and out, curling slightly and pressing against your inner walls, stretching you. Gripping your hip with his other hand, he kissed his way down your jaw to your neck and chest, tongue flicking out over your nipple, hot breath ghosting over your skin with a chuckle when you grabbed his head and pulled him towards you.

One finger turned to two and then three as you rocked and mewled in pleasure, his thumb finding your clit again and pressing against the bundle of nerves, whispered praises reaching your ears as he sucked and bit at your breasts. You were on the edge, wanting to fall over and drown in him, needing to cum all over his fingers and then again on his cock, wanting nothing more than to feel this way forever.

“Ei I’m gonna…” You panted, unable to form the words.

Grunting, he moved his fingers faster, pressing his thumb in a little harder, his words of praise streaming steadily, telling you how good you were, how pretty you looked. Eyes rolling back, your body tensed, a moan in the sound of his name leaving your lips as you shook, cumming harder than you ever had in your life.

You were still clenching when he pulled his fingers out of you, his hand slick with release as he tugged on his cock and lined it up with your entrance, your body mourning the loss for mere seconds before he was filling you again. The slick glide of your arousal had you taking nearly all of him, the two of you groaning in tandem at the feeling. Gripping his shoulders, you lifted slightly, slamming your hips back down and taking him to the hilt. The stretch was just on the edge of painful, but his thick digits had stretched you just enough that the pleasure superseded any discomfort.

Still trying to gather yourself after your orgasm, you took a moment to breathe, studying his face, your gaze tracing over the scar on his eyelid, and his dark lashes fanning over his cheeks. An hour ago you never could have imagined you’d be here, panting shakily, drenched in sweat and skin to skin with your best friend and roommate.

Clenching around him, you held his shoulders, rocking forward and lifting yourself slightly. Kirishima gripped your hips, fucking up into you in a steady rhythm, his lips finding yours once again to swallow the panting moans leaving you. You bounced on his cock, relishing the feeling as he kissed down your neck, his fingertips digging into your flesh, sure to leave bruises for you to admire the next day.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but it didn’t even matter. Just being this close to him, feeling him filling you so completely after wanting him for so long, it could have been minutes and you’d be happy. Knowing he felt for you as strongly as you felt for him was enough.

His fingers trailed along your front and dipped in between your bodies to rub your clit again, and you felt the pleasure race down your spine, coil tightening again and ready to break. “Oh fuck, Eijirou!”

Growling, he grunted your name as his hips snapped up to meet yours, chasing his release. “I love you, Y/N.”

His words tipped you over again, your breath catching as you came, the wet sounds of his cock plunging into you increasing as you gushed around him. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, completely spent. You held onto him as he slammed into you a few more times, rhythm faltering and hips stuttering until he was filling you up with a loud groan.

Collapsing back onto the couch, he held you to his chest, the two of you gasping for air. It was quiet for a few minutes as he rubbed his palm along your back comfortingly. You felt relaxed and sated, a pleased smile making its way to your face when you thought about what he’d said.

“Hey, Ei?” You pulled back slightly to look at him, giggling when he peeked one eye open to gaze at you.

“You okay?”

“Mm. I just wanted to tell you that I love you, too.”

He looked sheepish, opening both eyes and biting his lip. “I didn’t mean to tell you like that. I wanted it to be romantic.”

“That was plenty romantic, Eijirou.” Rolling your eyes fondly, you shifted in his lap. “I’m just happy to hear you say it.”

“Man, we did this all wrong. I should have at least taken you to dinner first. This is so unmanly of me, I just couldn’t help it.” He frowned. “I’m sorry-”

“You’re too good sometimes, Ei. I’m not complaining, am I?” You raised an eyebrow. “We should go get cleaned up before Bakugou comes home and finds out we fucked on the couch.”

“Please don’t talk about Bakugou while you’re sitting on my dick.” He made a face that caused you to bust into gasping laughter.

“Oh my god, I can’t.” You wheezed. “You’re ridiculous.” You moved to get up and he stopped you.

With a serious look on his face, he pushed your hair away from your face, his hand lingering near your ear. “I do love you though, Y/N. And I’m glad we finally got here. I didn’t think we ever would.”

Expression softening, you leaned into his palm, smiling at him. “Me too.”

Maybe if you had just told him how you felt all those years ago, you would have been able to have this sooner. But you promised yourself that you wouldn’t dwell on the past, deciding to focus on the future, because you knew it would be filled with more moments with him just like this.

#kirishima eijirou #kirishima eijiro #kirishima eijirou x reader #kirishima eijiro x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #eijirou kirishima #eijiro kirishima #mha #mha x reader #kirishima eijirou smut #kirishima eijiro smut #bnha smut #mha smut #eijirou kirishima smut #eijiro kirishima smut #kingexpl0sionmurder writes #bnharem collab

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emotionlcss · 2 years ago

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alcska:

it wasn’t like her at all to let a stranger come home with her after a night out, and it most certainly wasn’t like her to sleep with said stranger. she was always too busy with competitions or training at the rink, and insisted she didn’t have time to go out or get involved with anyone. it took a little convincing from her best friend despite her knowing it was a bad idea, and she still ended up in the worst situation she could imagine. cove can’t help the quiet laugh that slips past her lips when he’s asked a million questions, leaning her elbows on the table and resting her chin in her hand. “doubt she’s interested in seeing you again.” her brows are furrowed as she glances over at him, watching him chug the water in hand. “at least not by choice.“

he’d been mindlessly answering his friends questions as most of the people at the table were enjoying their own conversations. it wasn’t until chase had sat the glass down that he heard the girl speaking. almost instantly his rose had risen, if this was a challenge, it wasn’t one that he’d planned on backing down from. ❝ i don’t know about that, she seemed to want to see me again when she was screaming my name last night. ❞ the male spoke, his tone staying even as his gaze was flickering up to meet with hers. ❝ more than once. ❞

#alcska #✖┋❛ & CHASE ST. JAMES -; THREADS !

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cinnamonest · 3 years ago

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How do you make gross incel hentai adict Xiao sound so fucking hot like

Ohmygod

It makes me want to choke on his dick

I am STILL obsessed with this concept so continuing bc I can (//fem darling + some sexism): he also gets really into internet sex trends. Like, I mentioned the choker-snapping thing, but also all the egirl crazes and trends like the virgin killer sweater, the thigh high sock garters with spikes and heart shapes, the cow print bikini thing, maid uniforms, cat keyhole lingerie, schoolgirl uniforms, cosplays, collars, those rubber paddles that leave a shape welted into your skin (which you have to try out, just for fun, even if you didn't do anything). You have at least like 5 pairs of different sets of those animal tail butt plugs and ear hairbands that you're more or less forced to walk around in, complete with a little bell collar. The best part about those is they can be combined with the other outfits :)

Sex trends... Well yes there was the "snap my choker" thing back the past two years that he got super into and still wants to try for real, and in the current date darling would be suffering from that Jack-O challenge... Yeah your body can totally bend that way. Just keep trying, he wants a picture. Also the pencil challenge from a few years back... Also wants to see you try. Finds it cute if you can't, it keeps dropping to the floor, so he gets a video of your desperate attempts. And if you can, gets a picture of the result. Either of which is to jerk off to whenever he has to be away for whatever reason.

And when I say porn addict I don't mean just actively searching for porn, but rather, it's so ingrained in his brain that he's integrated it into every outlet he has, which just perpetuates the addiction in a cyclic sort of way. Open Twitter? Immediately bombarded with porn. Reddit? Porn. Tumblr? Let's be real there's still plenty of porn here too. Most games he plays are those gross dude-oriented ones with anime girls in next to no clothes running around, etc etc. He has no social media or app that he doesn't have some sort of pornographic content that will pop up nearly immediately. It's.... Bad. But on the... bright (?) side, you don't have to worry about him becoming one of those dudes that prefers porn to the real thing... Quite the opposite. At this point it's all just, to your dismay, inspiration material.

See, he has a firm belief that if he has you, he shouldn't have to jerk off ever again. He can cum in you, and should have rights to your body at any time he wants, that's what wom- uh, girlfriends are supposed to be for. He pays for everything since you're not employed (not by your choice, but you know better than to argue that anymore), and takes care of you, buys stuff for you. He does the whole protector and provider role (by sitting at his computer all day to earn money, and occasionally taking out one of your old exes), so you do your part and clean up, make him food (you made the mistake of cooking once and now he refuses to ever go back to ramen), and be an available set of holes at any time that does what he wants. Well, that's not the only requirement -- you're also supposed to have a good attitude about it... The girls in porn are always eager and happy to take dick and get abused. So no pouting or complaining... You're supposed to be sweet about it (spare love bombs ma'am?? Please?) And certainly no disobedience. It's so arrogant and self centered to think you have the right to deny or disobey a good boyfriend that takes such good care of you. Or perhaps just simple minded, like you definitely are, not bright, he says. You just can't think logically, you're not capable of reason, you think emotionally. Yeah... A porn obsession, particularly the kind of porn he likes that tends to see the girls in extremely submissive roles, does not exactly help make his views on your sex any better or more positive, quite the opposite.

Boy is chronically online, anything he sees he wants to try... And now he has real living breathing pussy available! So he can actually do so rather than just dreaming about it, now that he threw out all those crusty socks and cheap pocket pussy.

He sees some Twitter porn of a couple using one of those short distance remote control vibes in a public place... Now you have one. Sure, you're not going outside, but it's still fun to use it from across the room while he's working or gaming and you're all tied up, occasionally turning it up super high only to deny you again and again. It gives him motivation to do his work so he can get back to you sooner. So now he actually gets work done faster than ever.

The hentai addiction/egirl weeb culture degeneracy is worse though. Definitely buys you that one famous bad dragon blue tentacle dildo. You can't put it in your pussy, though... No he's not insecure, it's just, you have perfectly good dick right here for that hole. You can use it to train your throat and ass though! That's why he got it for you. Will definitely shove it into your poor ass and leave you tied down so that you can't move, having to stay like that for ages while he works.

Also, the faces. Hope you're not too quiet or still when you cum... Haven't you seen hentai girls?? You're supposed to like, make that face, stick your tongue out, and squeal a lot. Unfortunately, if you don't match up to porn actresses and hentai girls in terms of how you cum (and let's be real, who does?), he takes that as a sign that you're faking it. That's not good. Not only does it make him grumpy and pouty, but it means you'll cum until he's certain you're not faking it. Again, this creates a very unfortunate cycle of confirmation bias. By the fifth straight orgasm in a row, you're whimpering and sniffling from the overstimulation, begging and crying and wailing and.... Ah, so that's what you're like when you really cum, since he still insists the other times were fake. Which means that again, in the future, nothing less than that full crying and wailing will be believed. Poor darling.

Probably got camgirl darling to send him bathwater and straight up chugs it smh

#.x #.modern #lena's asks #releasing this as i work on stuffs!#tw: misogyny #kinda

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johannestevans · 2 years ago

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trans male characters part 5

feel free to use as a prompt or to give recommendations or to add your own

man who wears 5 jumpers in winter but is still cold

bank clerk who in his spare time is building a scale replica of his home town in his basement, complete with a working train station that is always behind schedule

lorry driver who takes photographs of the sunrise every day to post on his blog, which has 9 subscribers

exhausted universal translator technician who keeps deleting tech support tickets for regional slang on for 2000 different languages spread across a hundred planets

man who has an upside down tattoo on his wrist and gets upset at posters that explain proper tattoo placement

300-year-old sailor covered in tattoos who lectures people about knot tying, the fishing industry, politics, dietary choices, the environment, boat maintenance, appropriate beard length and, of course, proper tattoo placement

man who sells beautiful homemade jewellery on the beach and will absolutely take payment in the form of pretty rocks, candy, and weed, but cash is preferred

bicycle technician who is trying and failing to bring back putting a playing card in your bike wheel to make a tapping sound as a cool thing for kids to do. kids remain enenthused

devoted gentleman's gentleman who looks after his employer's every need (and kisses him nightly)

doctor who actually listens when his patients talk

jaw-droppingly gorgeous son of aphrodite

cold, grizzled son of ares whose chest scars blend in with all the rest

schoolteacher who wears charms and peacock feathers in his hair, whose chalk board is always supernaturally clean when not in use, and who can always tell who's whispering without turning his head

man across from you in the library who drops 4 caffeine pills into a red bull and chugs the whole thing. he sighs happily. you wonder how he survives it

man who's been abducted by aliens so many times now he's sure they just think it's a joke but they wipe his brain every time and his memory is shot

paranormal investigator who has been terrified of monsters since he was a child and one lived under his bed. he has no idea said monster has adopted him and been following him around since, intimidating any other creature which might be interested in eating him for lunch

man with a deep-seated phobia of cats who could only afford the rent on the flat between the pet shop and the vet, and on bad days exits his home via the back first floor window bc shimmying along the sill and a 7 foot fence is easier than facing a furious moggy in a carrier

man whose kiss kills people but keeps hoping this boyfriend will be different

wizard who is always high, drunk, or both, but never neither

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anywherebuthere · 4 years ago

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I had a dream about you last night || j.p.

James Potter x fem!reader

“Even when you’re gone, you are all that haunts my dreams.”

Wordcount: 1969

A/N: Happy (belated) birthday to the only man ever <33 I am illiterate, so I had a mental breakdown writing this <3 please enjoy!! special thanks to @anchoeritic and @gxtitobxby for supporting me via discord and for making fun of the time I got hit by a car :)) @skullsontess07 I finally posted it pls don’t hurt me <33

Warnings: alcohol, allusions to sex, death, bad writing, especially towards the end. barely proofread because I don’t believe in mistakes <3 /j

Please do not repost this!! I do not consent to this piece of fiction being published on any other site besides tumblr unless it by my doing.

The ticking of the grandfather clock thrummed in James’ ears as he tipped back the empty bottle, the smell of whiskey heavy in the air. He leaned his head against the cold surface of the white plaster wall, scanning the textured ceiling with misty eyes. His home, still half furnished, was riddled with traces of something better forgotten. Even with the weight of alcohol on his breath, his mind is running with memories and daydreams of her.

He closed his eyes, forcing the imagery away. In the distance, a train chugged on, its lone whistle echoing in the night, and James can’t help but be pulled into an uneasy slumber, memories still flashing through his mind like a broken film.

“Prongs, you git! We’re going to miss the train if you don’t hurry your fat arse.” Remus shouted, frustration seeping into his humoured voice.

“Relax Moony, we’ll be fine,” he replied, breath heaving slightly from sprinting across Platform 9¾, just narrowly having avoided knocking over an elderly witch.

As the four boys approached the entrance of the cart, the train’s departing whistle blared. They boarded quickly, though not without receiving a glare from a crew member.

Hurrying down the corridor, the boys glanced through every compartment window, though each appeared to be full of giggling sixth years. That is, with the exception of one.

Near the back end of the Hogwarts Express, was, at last, an empty compartment save for a singular figure slumped against the window. With no other choice of seating, the gaggle of boys slipped in silently, Sirius and Remus snagging the seats opposite to the slumbering girl, their pinkies linked as they whispered conspiratorially amongst themselves.

Peter, as adverse to the female race as ever, took the seat closest to the door, leaving James to be wedged between the mousy blonde and the stranger, careful not to bump her with his broad shoulders.

The train ride was filled with hushed whispers as the marauders discussed this year's prank for the welcoming feast, a customary tradition they held sacred, as to “start the year right.”

As they began going over the mechanisms of their plan, they felt the train begin to swerve as it approached a sharp turn. The compartment shook slightly and James suddenly felt a weight on his right side.

He stiffened, glancing over to see that the girl’s head had lulled over from the compartment wall and onto his shoulder. James recognized her as a student in their year. Y/N, who had tutored Regulus the same day that James had helped Sirius prank him as petty revenge for a now long-forgotten argument.

And well, perhaps James had wanted her to notice him for once. If so, it had been a successful endeavour as he remembered the way her face had contorted in anger, though her attention had remained just as elusive for the remainder of their fifth year. So… perhaps not so successful.

He flushed at the memory. She was now even prettier than the year prior.

“Oh? Is that a blush we see, Moony?” Sirius taunted, nudging Remus with his elbow as he snickered at James’ scowl.

“Bloody hell, piss off, will you? You’ll wake her–”

He felt her suddenly stir beside him, brows creasing as though on the cusp of consciousness.

James held his breath.

The moment passed as Y/N nudged her face further into the crook of his neck before settling back into a peaceful slumber.

Perhaps he wouldn’t need the prank to start the year right this time around.

It seemed that sixth year would be a good one for James.

In the early morning of a mid-March day, an unlikely scene unfolded between the shelves of Hogwarts’ library. There he sat beside a bleary Y/N, voice still drowsy with sleep as she read aloud a passage from the Herbology textbook perched between them.

Initially, James had detested the thought of having to wake up at such an ungodly hour for the sake of a project. No other time had fit, not with his Quidditch practices and her absurd number of tutoring sessions.

Though now, as the early rays of sunrise filtered through the library’s mullioned windows onto her skin, James thinks that there is nowhere else he would rather be.

He thinks this moment will be ingrained in his mind forever.

“–once a century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers able to attract the unwary.” she paused to yawn, eyebags evident as she turned to meet James’ gaze. She scrunched her nose and he swore he swooned at the very sight. “Are you even listening to me, Potter?”

“I’m always listening to you,” he replied, tilting his head. She grins in response and he notices just how beautiful it is.

She shifted her gaze back to the textbook lying in their laps, picking up where she had left off.

“Its scent adapts–”

James leaned forward suddenly, capturing her lips in his. The book fell closed between them.

Immediately, almost though by instinct, Y/N reciprocates, moving her lips gently against his as her hand cups his cheek. James finds himself gripping that hand as his other wraps around her waist, finding the small of her back and pulling her impossibly close against him.

She tasted of cherry chapstick and peppermint bubblegum, and though there was nothing particularly special about those flavours, on her, James swears that he could drown in his intoxication alone. Her perfume wafts through the air, the scent causing him to groan against her mouth.

When they separated at last, his head was swimming in euphoria, his expression dazed. Y/N blinked up at him, sleep wiped entirely from her expression.

“Its scent adapts itself during these times to attract said unwary.” she finishes, sounding breathless still, voice trailing off as James began to laugh hysterically.

She rolled her eyes, smiling sheepishly.

When James still couldn’t stop laughing, Y/N gripped his haphazardly tied red and gold tie, using it to pull his soft lips against hers once more and he was sure in his mind that there would no one else for him.

Beneath a great oak tree in the courtyard lay two figures. Under the tree’s twisting branches, they hid in its cool shade from the sweltering afternoon sun. Few places aside from the castle offered shelter from June’s blistering heat and as the semester approached its end, they finally allowed themselves to rest in the gentle breeze.

James was leaning against the thick trunk while Y/N’s head lay in his lap. His elbow was resting on her abdomen as she drew on his hand, doodling intricate flower designs alongside some… less desirable things.

He felt his heart swell with joy as her laughter filled the summer air and before he could catch himself, he blurted out the thought that had been weighing in the back of his mind since they had started dating.

“Do you ever think about your future?"

He felt the scratch of her muggle pen slow, as though pausing in thought.

"I want to grow old and die surrounded with people I love, knowing I lived a long and fulfilling life. You know, typical boring stuff," she replied after a moment's consideration. Her eyes twinkled with more, though Y/N never indulged in half-thought-out plans.

"What about you?" she questioned with the tip of her head. James didn’t need time to think about it. He had known his answer since that fateful September morning when she had slept on his shoulder throughout the entirety of the train ride.

"I don't care what my future is as long as you're there" he answers truthfully.

Y/N flushed, her ears heated. She looked away, the corners of her lips turning up in the barest hint of a smile.

James freed his hand from her loose grasp, hooking her chin to look back towards him before leaning in to kiss her.

Even after all these months, he relished in the taste of her lips. He doubts he’ll ever be able to get enough of the feeling.

He doubts he’ll ever be able to get enough of her.

The sun was setting in the west on a quiet evening, its golden rays shining on the slick skin of two lovers as they untangled themselves from the sheets, unable to hold in their laughter when one got his foot stuck in the knot of their crochet blanket.

The air hung heavy with the scent of sweat and endorphins as Y/N laid back, her body still bare, not bothering to cover it.

James propped his elbow beside her head, careful not to press on her spread-out hair, his face filled with ecstasy and pure bliss.

He will never get used to the sight of her in his bed, giggling as the sun reflected off her silky skin. The image of her underneath him is cemented in his mind, permanently lodged there as solid as concrete. He knows now with absolute certainty that there would be no one else for him.

James’ smile widened further as he nudged his nose into the crook of her neck, leaning in to place a kiss there when his vision blurred.

It was no longer sunset. Rather, the two of them were now enveloped in the dark of night and James is certain he hears the echo of a familiar spell ring off in the distance.

He pulls away from Y/N’s neck.

She was no longer shaking with laughter, but rather, writhing in pain. There were lacerations all across her torso and James felt something sticky underneath his hands.

They were laying in a pool of her blood.

Panic clawed at his throat and though he had never been averse to the sight of blood, yours was an exception. The taste of bile clung to his tongue.

“No... No no no no no,” he whispered in disbelief. Swivelling his head, outside the window, he spots a cloaked figure wearing a mask of silver disapparate.

“No!”

Grasping for the wand strapped to his side, he murmurs a healing spell, gasping for breath when the wounds remain open. His head was spiralling as Y/N shook her head almost imperceptibly, grabbing at his wrist with a shaking hand.

Carved into her arm was the word “MUDBLOOD” and James felt his vision turn red, suddenly hyper-aware of the blood pumping through his veins.

“James…” she rasped. He gripped her shaking hand.

“Why isn’t it working? Why?” he cried, tears streaming down his face, struggling to breathe.

“Whatever our souls are made of,” she gasped, blood spurting out of her mouth. Her beautiful mouth, the one that tasted of cherries and peppermint, was covered in thick, crimson blood. “you and I are connected.”

“No! Stop with this rubbish, you’re not going to die!” he sobbed, gripping her bloodied hand like a vice. She continued as though he hadn’t even spoken.

Perhaps she was too far gone to hear him.

“Wh-whatever is beyond this life,” violent ruby coated her mouth as she coughed, blood splattering onto her smooth skin. “Promise me, y-you’ll find me again.”

“I promise,” he cried, sobs racking through his body.

But she was already gone.

James woke with a start, gasping for breath with the taste of blood and “promise” still coating his tongue. He was alone in a house built for two.

In his fitful sleep, he had knocked over the empty bottle of whiskey beside him.

She had hated whiskey.

Had.

A fresh wave of misery washed over James, adding to the dull pain that never seemed to go away, throbbing through him as naturally as the blood in his veins. It wasn’t enough that she existed still within every corner of their shared home.

Even in his dreams, he is haunted by her memory.

ㄧ

@catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

#james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter angst #james potter fluff #harry potter imagine #james potter fic #james potter x reader angst #james potter x reader fluff #james potter x muggleborn #james potter x muggleborn reader #caz's top notch fic recs

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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago

Text

REMINDER

a/n: i’ve had this idea on my mind all weekend and finally got around to write it! just a short little oneshot of Bucky finally realizing he should make his move 😌

pairing: Bucky X Reader

warnings: blood, gunshot

word count: 3.7k

masterlist

(gif is not mine)

Bucky hated Tony’s luxurious parties, but as part of the team, he could just never avoid them, someone always came into his room and forced him to join the others, telling him it would be so much fun. It was never. He doesn’t even know what he would find fun anymore, having his life back after all these torturous years, it’s hard to find what brings him happiness, but schmoozing with Tony’s friends and the team and all the agents is just not his cup of tea. He would rather hide in his room, read a book or catch up with whatever show he has been watching lately.

The night he met you was a similar one. Steve was the first one to drop by his room, trying to convince him to get dressed and join the rest of the team for a drink, but Bucky resisted until his friend gave up and left, but then came Natasha. She just always knew how to play the strings to make him do what she wanted. After a bit of persuasion he finally agreed to make an appearance, though he made it clear he wouldn’t be there too long.

After changing into a pair of dark jeans and a black long sleeved shirt that hid his metal arm quite well, he made his way to the party, already feeling grumpy that he had to socialize. It was just like the last time. He got himself a drink, talked a little to Steve, then Banner and Nat and then hid in the corner of the room, avoiding any new faces, not in the mood to introduce himself. He was about to sneak out and go back to his room finally when he first saw you.

You were a relatively new agent in the tower. Having only been there for a few weeks, you didn’t have the chance to meet Bucky since he was on a mission up until a few days ago. You were a bit of a social butterfly, it didn’t take you too long to make friends in the Tower and you found yourself getting the closest to Wanda for some reason.

When Bucky saw you that evening you were talking to her near a high table, nursing a drink in your hands. You wore a white, tight dress that made it no secret how much all the training had helped to form your body through the years. He couldn’t hear your voice, but when he saw your smile, he swore his heart skipped a beat.

Your eyes caught his gaze lingering on you and he quickly turned away, feeling his cheeks growing hot, as if he was a kid caught red-handed of something troublesome. Bucky hoped you didn’t notice it or that he didn’t cross any lines, asking for another drink for himself he was planning to chug the whole thing down and then leave before he could embarrass himself any more. What he was not expecting was you making your way towards him to introduce yourself to the man you’d only heard about, but hadn’t met. He was so busy with making up his plan about how to escape and then thanking his drink to the bartender, that he didn’t even notice you approaching him. So when he turned to the left and was about to walk away he bumped right into you, some of his vodka soda spilling to your dress, making it stick to your skin on your thigh.

“Oh shit, I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t—I wasn’t looking, I’m so so—“

“It’s alright,” you chuckled, shrugging your shoulders as you grabbed a few napkins from the bar to soak up some of the wetness.

“I totally ruined it, right? I’ll buy you another dress or pay for this one, I’m so sorry,” he kept rambling, feeling like a total idiot.

“It’s just a dress,” you smiled at him warmly. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Well, it’s… it’s a pretty dress,” Bucky found himself saying and when he saw your eyebrows raising, he almost wanted to take it back.

“I’m afraid we haven’t met before. I’m Agent Y/L/N and you must be Sergeant Barnes,” you smiled at him, holding out a hand for him that he took and delicately shook.

“Just… call me Bucky,” he nodded with a shy smile and that was the start of something new in his life.

He found himself bumping into you all the time, in the controlling room, the gym, the kitchen, you were everywhere. Though it might not had been that coincidental, Bucky found himself learning your routine pretty fast and made his own schedule according to that. He couldn’t help it, you were the sweetest and most beautiful creature he had ever seen and he found himself being drawn to you. And you didn’t mint it, not even a bit. A special bond started to form between the two of you, movie nights, shared missions, runs around the city, you always had something to do together and Bucky was falling for you more and more with every passing day.

Nat and Steve liked to tease him about his growing feelings, but utterly with the intention of forcing him to make a move finally.

“What are you waiting for, Barnes?” Nat questioned him one afternoon when she caught him eyeing you in the controlling room.

“What are you talking about?” he cleared his throat, pretending like he had no idea, but he wasn’t a good actor.

“Just ask her out.”

“No,” he shook his head, folding his arms on his chest.

“Why not? She has the same heart eyes for you that you have for her,” she rolled her eyes nodding in your way. You were sitting behind a desk, oblivious to the conversation that was happening across the room.

“She is just friendly. That’s all we are. Friends.”

“We are friends, Barnes. You and her? That’s more than that,” Nat pointed it out and he looked in your way, chewing on his bottom lip as he watched you type something out on the computer. As if you could feel his gaze on you, you looked up, eyes meeting his and a warm smile tugging on your lips. Bucky could feel his heart fluttering in his chest, just like every time you looked at him with those bright eyes of yours.

He couldn’t bring himself to make an actual move. He was always so afraid you’d reject him and the friendship you shared was one of the most important things in his life. He didn’t want to risk losing it. Besides, he always thought he would have time to figure out what to do. Even if he decided to confess to you, he couldn’t just do it out of the blue, he needed time which he thought he had. It was up until the two of you went on a mission together and it didn’t go according to plan.

You were supposed to stay together during the raid, but you convinced him to split up when you started chasing some bad guys and they parted ways.

“It’s going to be fine, Bucky. You go that way and I’ll meet you by the jet, alright?” you told him before running off the other direction. He wanted to go after you, not let you go alone, but he didn’t listen to his instinct.

Now he is running through the maze of hallways after you asked for help through the com. Natasha is on her way too, but she is way farther from your location than he is.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” he calls out, trying to find the right way. Gunshots are heard outside and Tony makes some stupid joke about Steve, but Bucky ignores it, he just wants to hear your voice.

“Yeah, but I’m out of bullets, hurry—“

A series of gunshots rips through the com and he hears your painful grunt, the sound of your whimper turning his blood cold right away.

“Y/N! Y/N what happened?!” he shouts, speeding down the hallways leading to the place where you’re supposed to be according to your tracker.

“I got—Shit I got shot,” you groan, the end fading out as your voice breaks.

He bursts through the double door and immediately sees the man that most likely shot you, holding up his gun Bucky shoots him in the chest so fast the guy didn’t even have time to aim at him.

“Y/N!” he calls out, frantically looking for you.

“Bucky!” he hears your faint voice coming from behind a desk. He sprints to you, kneeling down next to you and horror shakes through his whole body when he sees the relatively big pool of blood around you as you try to push your hands to the wound on your thigh. “I think… I think it grazed an artery,” you faintly tell him, a few tears rolling down your cheek.

“Fuck, no, no, stay with me, okay? You’re gonna be fine!” he tells you, ripping off the sleeve of his shirt, wrapping it around your leg as tight as possible to try to stop the bleeding. “Y/N was shot, she is losing blood rapidly. We need to get her out now!” he demands through the com while you are slowly losing your consciousness. “Don’t fall asleep, alright? Stay with me! Talk to me!” he begs you as he cradles you into his arms and heads out to the jet.

“I can’t…” you breathe out, your head falling to his shoulder as he carries you in bridal style.

“Of course you can. And you will. You are not dying on me, understood?”

“It’s not like… I have a choice,” you tell him with a faint smile, your eyes slowly closing.

“Y/N, don’t fall asleep! Just hang in there a little longer!”

He makes it out of the building, Natasha and Steve joining him on the way, the jet already waiting for them. You try to keep your eyes open, Bucky keeps asking you questions and doesn’t leaves you until he hears an answer.

“This was not how I imagined my death,” you mumble, lying on the floor of the jet as it takes off, heading back to the Tower where Dr. Cho is already waiting for you.

“It’s not that, Y/N, that’s not happening now. Just stay with me okay?” Bucky begs you, holding your hand in his while Natasha works on your leg, trying her best to keep you from losing any more blood.

“So eager to keep me alive, hmm?” you smile, eyes dropping closed, but Bucky squeezes your hand, making you to look at him.

“Of course. I still owe you a new dress, don’t I?” he tries to joke, but you don’t answer. You lost your fight and let yourself lose consciousness as Bucky keeps calling your name over and over again, but you never answer him.

The next twenty-four hours is a blur to both you and him as well. For him because he refuses to leave your side once you are out of Dr. Cho’s hands, he stays sitting on the uncomfortable chair by your bed no matter what as members of the team drop by every once in a while. And for you because you keep drifting in and out of consciousness, but you’re never strong enough to actually open your eyes, you only hear voices. Mostly Bucky’s.

One time you hear him talking to Steve, their voices sound distant, but you can understand the words clearly.

“I shouldn’t have let her go alone,” Bucky mumbles under his breath.

“It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known this would happen,” Steve tries to convince her, but it sounds like Bucky is too stubborn to listen to his friend.

“We were supposed to stay together. It was my fault.”

You want to protest. You want to tell him it was none of his fault, but you can’t bring yourself to speak and the darkness pulls you in again, cutting you off of the world. Next time your mind wakes up, you hear Natasha’s soothing voice.

“Why don’t you go and sleep a little? I’ll stay with her,” she offers and that’s when you feel a warm hold on your left hand.

“No,” Bucky answers from beside you. “I’m staying, but thanks.”

“Alright, are you hungry then? I can bring you something.”

“I’m fine,” he answers shortly and you can tell just from his voice that he is so broken, beating himself over what happened. But once again, you are not strong enough to speak and you fall back asleep again.

But the third time you wake up you can actually bring yourself to open your eyes. The bright neon lights are a little blinding, so you need to blink a few times before you get used to them. It takes a couple of seconds to take in your surroundings and then your eyes fall on the sitting form next to your bed.

Bucky is reading a book you gave him a few weeks ago, it’s the first Hunger Games, you thought he would like the story a lot and judging from how far he is in it, he really does. He is so lost between the lines that he doesn’t realize that your eyes opened.

“Bucky?” you call out, your throat feels as dry as a desert and his blue eyes immediately snap at you, putting the book aside as he leans forward to grab your hand gently in his again.

“Hey! You’re awake! How are you feeling?” he asks you, brushing a strand of hair out of your forehead.

“Like shit,” you chuckle, making him smile as well, but his eyes still hold a lot of pain from seeing you like this. “I’m thirsty.”

“Here.” He grabs a bottled water from the bedside table and pours some into a paper cup, helping you drink it and you feel like you were reborn.

“Thanks. What… How long have I been out?” you ask, pushing yourself up a bit so you’re leaning against the headboard.

“A little over a day. Dr. Cho said it could take you a few days to wake up after all the blood you lost.”

Now that he has brought it up, you realize that your thigh is wrapped up, a constant, blunt pain gripping your nerves. You push the white covers off of yourself so you can take a look at the slightly bloody bandages hugging your leg. You already know it will leave a nasty scar on you.

“I should have been there,” Bucky speaks up seeing you eyeing your leg. You look at him shaking your head.

“No. You couldn’t have known and I was the one who told you to go the other way. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But I could have just told you no. I should have.”

“Bucky, stop,” you breathe out, gripping his hand tight in your hold. “You brought me out of there, practically saved my life. If anything I should be thanking you.”

“But I shouldn’t have let it happen in the first pla—“

“Shut up, Sergeant,” you chuckle softly. “I’m still here, aren’t I? Isn’t that all that matters?”

Bucky’s face softens as he stares back at you nodding shortly. He can’t even describe how thankful he is to hear your voice again, the silence in the room was like torture for him, watching you lie on the bed completely still and there was nothing he could do to help you. But now he has you back and this whole fiasco made him realize that he doesn’t have all the time in the world with you.

Your recovery is faster than expected thanks to Helen’s amazing work. Two days after you woke up you are dismissed and you are back in your own room. Bucky has been by your side all along and you had to send him back to his room during the night because he wanted to sleep in that uncomfortable chair again. Eventually you convinced him to get some sleep but he was already in the room when you woke up in the morning. Now that you are out of medical care he is still following you like a little puppy, ready to do anything you need help with.

“You know, I just have to use my clutch for a few more days, but I’m totally fine,” you chuckle when he helps you put your stuff away arriving back to your room while you lie down.

“I know, but I want to help,” he smiles, nodding shortly. “And… I have something for you,” he then adds with a boyish smile.

“A surprise?”

“An ‘I’m glad you didn’t die during mission’ surprise,” he smirks, making you chuckle. He shuffles out of the room and then returns with a baby blue paper bag in his hands. Walking over to the bed he sits to the edge handing the gift to you.

“When did you have time to buy it? You never even left my side,” you ask with a suspicious look.

“Nat helped me a little,” he admits with a nervous chuckle. You dig into the bag and your fingers find a soft material, making you gasp before you could even see the item. You just already know what it is. Pulling out you’re staring at a white dress, similar to the one you wore at the party the two of you met officially. The one he spilled his drink on and promised to buy a new one.

“Bucky, you shouldn’t have,” you breathe out, eyes softening at the man who is now eyeing you with a gentle look, clearly feeling shy and nervous about the gift.

“I don’t know if you remember it but when we were in the jet I told you I still owe you one,” he explains as you lay the fabric across your legs, smoothing your hand over the silky fabric as you smile to yourself.

“I do remember that. Actually, that’s the last thing I remember.”

“I wanted to keep my word,” he mumbles under his breath.

Pushing yourself up from the bed you are about to head into the bathroom when he stops you in panic.

“Where are you going?” he asks, clearly wanting you to return to bed.

“I’m gonna try it on, don’t you want to see me in it?” you ask coyly and you see his cheeks blushing at your question before he just nods shortly.

It’s a little challenging to put it on, but you manage to succeed, walking out with your clutches, bare feet and your hair in a messy ponytail, but still, Bucky’s breath gets caught in his chest when he sees you. Suddenly, you feel self-conscious about the way you look, especially with the ugly bandages on your thigh that peek out from under the dress. Stepping to the mirror next to your dresser you take a look at yourself, expression hardening when you see that the scar will probably be seen from under most of your dresses once it’s healed. You try to tug the dress down a little to hide the bandage, but there’s no use, it’s showing no matter what.

Bucky realizes what you’re doing and stepping closer to you he takes your hand that’s fumbling with the fabric and keeps it between his palms.

“All my previous battle wounds are hidden somewhere, but this one will be on full display,” you whisper sadly, eyes dropping to the floor. Bucky cups your cheek in his hand and makes you look up into his eyes with a soft smile on his lips.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I know, I just…” you sigh, not even sure what you wanted to say.

“You know, in a way this…” He starts, brushing his fingers through the bandage gently. “This is going to be a reminder for me.”

“A reminder?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Because I always thought I have all the time in the world with you, but I almost lost you. And I don’t want to waste any more time.”

His hands find your waist, pulling you into his embrace as your palms slide up his arms to the base of his neck. You are both so nervous to be this close without sparring, your heart is beating so fast, he can probably hear it, but he feels the same way.

“If you think of me as just a friend, now might be the best time to tell me,” he whispers with a soft chuckle that makes you smile too. You lean closer, your nose touching his, lips almost brushing against each other.

“You are so much more than that,” you breathe out before he closes the gap between the two of you, kissing you the way he wanted to so many times before.

It’s like the rest of the world stops existing, there’s only you and him, his lips on yours, fingers digging into your waist, flesh and metal ones as well, bunching your dress under his touch as you press up against him, your kisses growing hungrier with each passing moment.

When it’s just about to get a little more heated, someone clears their throat and you are forced to snap back to reality, seeing Steve and Nat standing at the door, watching the two of you grinning widely.

“Just wanted to check on you Y/N to see if you need help with anything, but you clearly have everything you need,” Natasha teases you, making your cheeks heating up as you rest your forehead against Bucky’s shoulder, his arms circling around you tight, hands running up and down your back soothingly.

“Glad to see you finally made your move, Bucky,” Steve nods smirking.

“Alright, alright. The show is over, guys,” Bucky waves them off. Natasha winks at you before leaving the two of you alone.

“We will never hear the end of this,” you growl, your head dropping back, but Bucky just smiles and kisses your forehead sweetly.

“If they keep teasing us we’ll just kick their ass,” he grins making you laugh before you press your lips against his again in a short, chaste kiss.

“Deal.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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