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misskassiepierce · 1 year ago

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Two Truths || Sam, Crowley, and Kassie

Adventures on Kik/Skype/Discord with @ri-na-ifreann and @alwaysaweapon Blockquote: alwaysaweapon + italics: ri-na-ifreann ; plain: me

Sam finally learns the truth about her deal...

He hadn't heard from Kassie for longer than usual. Of course, he couldn't blame her. They had both said a lot, and things he had never meant to come to light had done so. Knowing that Gadreel had messed with his-- with Kassie and him bothered him deeply. It seemed to affect her as well, though differently. He hadn't been sure where they stood when they parted ways, and that was probably the part that bothered him the most.

Ry and Dean had been distant lately; he expected they had their own things to work through after everything that had happened. Still, he could have used the company. That was likely the biggest reason he'd gone to help Jody out for a few days. He'd left a note for his brother, packed up, and left. She of course played her mother card on him, and he eventually opened up to her. Her advice had him feeling better about things, if not great.

On the way back home, he'd stopped at a motel after driving for as long as he could. He was debating on whether or not to remain there for a couple days when there was a knock at his room door. Stupidly he didn't bother peering through the peephole, and found himself face-to-face with the King of Hell, looking smug as ever.

"What do you want?"

Ah, chaos. He lived it, he breathed it. It was his favorite passtime. Truly it was a glorious thing. With everything he had to deal with, it was nice to be able to drop some extra chaos on those he despised most.

"Hello to you, too, Moose." He eyed the hunter with amusement. "Honestly, reaching for your gun? You should know better." He was admitted entrance, without fight. Odd, but pleasing. The younger Winchester had his guard down, which suited him just fine.

"You wanna tell me why you're here?"

"Sam, after all we've been through together and you stillhave such hatred for me?" He chuckled, shaking his head. "The feeling is mutual, by the way."

"Great. So why are you here?"

"Mmm, impatient are we? Fine, no niceties, then. I think it time you know the truth."

Kassie had been out on her own, exploring through an abandoned village somewhere in South America with no agenda other than adventure. It was a pastime of hers, that usually resulted in trouble, but that never deterred her from wandering off again. In fact, it more than likely only stimulated the urge. But just as she had found an opening into a decrepit structure she felt, what was now familiar, wisp-like hiss in her ear. It was Crowley calling for her. She pursed her lips but put a pause to her curiosity, apparating to his throne room. However, when she landed, the place was empty-- all aside for a note he had left. Her curiosity returned, only now accompanied by slight confusion, as she approached the throne to lift the piece of paper from its seat. The message was for her to meet him at a hotel in Nebraska, but all it said was, "Meet me here," and a flash of the location came across her mind's eye, providing her with the visual aid to do just so. She only wondered for a moment what could be going on before she disappeared on the spot and landed in the picture conjured for her. At first glance of the area, she was unable to locate him here either, but then through her other senses, she felt him reach out to her again, giving her direction. She was brought to a door, marked with the number '9'. Though it now read as '6', as one of the screws had fallen out, hinting at just how well maintained this place really was. She lifted her hand to knock when she heard voices coming from inside. Crowley, she recognized, but the second was muffled just enough that she couldn't make it out. Instead of interrupting the conversation, Kassie lowered her hand and listened.

Confusion. There were things in play Crowley had no knowledge of, and some he was involved in. What truth did he mean? Sam scowled at the demon, shifting his stance a little to be ready for anything that might be thrown at him. "Truth about what?" He asked finally, not keeping the anger or confusion from his tone.

Oh, this would so lovely. "Well," he said after a pause. "It seems you and I share something dear. I was so shocked when I discovered that my new toy was the love interest of my favorite Moose." He enjoyed the look at confusion and panic that filled Sam's expression. "You seem lost. Here," he turned toward the door with a grin. "Why don't you join us, pet?"

Kassie thought the second voice sounded familiar, but just before it could click on the who exactly, Crowley answered a question the other had asked. Moose? They were talking about large, antlered mammals? No, that didn't make any sense. But what--? She felt Crowley pull at her once more, that prickle in her ear now more intense with only a door standing between them; it made her wince slightly. He then addressed her verbally, somehow knowing she could hear them, as he invited her to join. There was only a second of hesitation before she turned the knob and opened the door.

Immediately, her gaze fell upon Crowley as she stepped in, but then it drifted to where Sam stood. That explained the sense of familiarity, at least. Her expression had betrayed nothing, remaining blank as she looked from one man to the other. "You summoned?"

"Yes," he smiled at Kassie, then Sam, before focusing on the little witch again. "Yes, my Darling, I did. Sam here and I were just discussing things, and I was hoping you'd like to join the conversation." He smirked, though while he looked at Kassie, the smirk was for Sam.

Sam's confusion quickly changed to disbelief and-- fear as the door opened and Kassie walked in. He felt his chest tighten, his vision focus to a pinpoint. She met his gaze and suddenly it all made sense. Her sudden change in personality, her suddenly disappearing for days at a time and not answering his calls. Son of a bitch. "You bastard," he growled. "What did you do to her?"

Kassie had noted the shock on Sam's face when she first entered, reflecting some of her own feelings at seeing him here alone with Crowley. Although hers was not nearly as intense. He seemed somewhat in a panic, but by what, Kassie couldn't say. Crowley obviously wasn't here to hurt him, otherwise he would have done so already, so there wasn't much threat there. His gaze was directed at her, but he knew she would never hurt him.--Right? She pushed away the speculation and instead focused on Crowley, offering a tiny smile in return and then nodding slowly in understanding. "Concerning what?" she inquired, but before Crowley could answer Sam burst out a snarl in his direction, demanding to know what he had done to her. Her eyebrows pinched, confused by what he meant by that, but instead of questioning it, she let Crowley respond.

Crowley began to answer Kassie, but Sam lashed out with that Winchester anger before he had the chance. He smirked, tilting his head to one side as he weighed his response. "I did nothing more than what she asked of me," he said at last. "You know I never go outside of a deal, Sam. It's bad business."

Sam's hands clenched into fists. His nails left half-moon creases in his palms as he fought against the anger rising through him. Some was irrational, he was aware of that. But this was Kassie and she was answering to Crowley. He decided to shift his attention from the object of his hatred, to the woman he loved. "Kass you-- you made a deal with him?"

Kassie watched as Sam went through anger, his muscles rigid under its strain, fire burning in his eyes, but the moment his attention turned back to her, after hearing Crowley's response to what he had done, his anger morphed into something to a kin of betrayal, like she had hurt him somehow. She didn't understand that look, either. Her deal had nothing to do with him; affected him none. So why did she feel suddenly unsure? "Yes," she admitted, though not as strong as she would have liked. "Not that its any of your concern..." She looked at Crowley, searching him for answers. "You brought this to his attention. Why?"

Sam stood baffled by her response, unsure how to take it. His lips pressed together in a mixture of anger and, truthfully, betrayal.

"Why?" Crowley addressed the question aimed at him with mild amusement. "Oh, my darling. Ever the clueless one, hm? Though, I suppose with the deal-- never mind." He chuckled. "You ask why. Honestly, I had no clue who you were when we met. It was only a happy coincidence. But knowing the truth-- that I had ensnared the object of Sam Winchester's heart? Well, how could I pass up the opportunity to share such news?"

He wasn't stupid, or deaf. Despite his focus on Kassie, Sam heard Crowley's every word. He'd deal with that later. For now, he just needed answers from her. "Kassie," he said softly, doing his best to contain the slurry of emotions. "What did you make a deal for? What did he give you?"

Kassie furrowed her brows, vexed that Crowley not only involved Sam in this but also the underlying condescending attitude he gave her when she asked him why. Apparently he thought the answer was obvious. After hearing his explanation, in his words, however, she could see why he thought that. The whole superhero/villain cliché where the bad guy steals the good guy's girl to gain leverage. But she didn't see it that way. Because again, she didn't feel as if her deal affected him in any way. "Hate to burst your ecstatic bubble," she told Crowley, with only a hint of bite. "But you've been misinformed on the nature of our relationship. There is no great love lost between us. So-- I'd put a hold on breaking out any champagne." She crossed her arms, looking unimpressed that she had become a gloating prize-- and a premature one, at that. "Is this the only reason you summoned or may I go?" But before Crowley could respond, Sam was recapturing her attention with a few questions of his own. Her expression softened immediately but still remained blank as her gaze went over to him. "Relief," she confessed truthfully. "Separation from the constant grief; past, present, and future. Best decision I've ever made."

"I see," Crowley replied quietly, debating on reacting to her attitude toward him or not. He decided to let it slide, for now. Sam was the focus now, and that was what he needed to remember. "Sam?" He turned to the larger man. "Is she correct? No love lost between you two?"

"No," Sam said solidly, keeping his eyes on Kassie. "She's not."

"I thought not." The King purred, a smirk forming. "But I expect you were too stupid to verbalize such." The look on Sam's face and the silence confirmed it.

Sam shook from the pent up emotion raging through him. As Kassie replied to him, he snapped, losing hold on the dam he used to hold it back. "Right. I'd be proud of losing my soul, too. Ten years from now, you're going to really regret this, Kass. As the hellhounds tear you apart, you'll realize everything you're going to miss. All for a stupid deal."

Apparently needing a second needle to burst that persistent bubble of his, Crowley turned to Sam, asking him if what she said was factual. Sam corroborated by saying 'No,' there wasn't anything romantic between them, but then he went and flipped it, claiming that she was incorrect in her statement. Kassie's brows furrowed once it clicked on what exactly he was saying, turning her head to lock gazes with him for a moment. Why had he said that? Why was he telling Crowley what he clearly wanted to hear? Even if it was true, what kind of progression would come of it? She frowned. She didn't like this situation; it made her anxious. Crowley, on the other hand, was pleased, of course, to which you could hear emanating through his voice as he affronted Sam. It was curious, seeing his words affect him, like there was real truth behind them, but Kassie didn't want to think on that and asked to leave. Only she never got far, as Sam was now focused on the deal and what it entailed. He was physically shaking by the time she admitted what her grant had been, and then practically sneered his reply at her. "I am aware of the costs," Kassie shot back, a bit of her own form of anger leaking in. "I am not some naïve child." Though, she didn't seem to recall any say about hellhounds... "It was my choice. Mine. Just because you don't understand doesn't give you the right to judge me for it."

While he was enjoying this, it was not as entertaining as he had hoped. Sam was resisting his Winchester instinct, and it was more sad than anything. Poor lost puppy kind of sad. "Sorry to interrupt this moment," he claimed, though was clearly lying. "But I--"

Sam's anger should have been at Kassie; she was clearly delusional and the words she said had his skin crawling. He probably knew better than anyone why she'd do such a thing, as well as why it was such a horrible idea. But instead his anger was directed at the source; Crowley. He had manipulated her, convinced her to make the deal as he did with everyone. And then he had played her like a puppet. Finally letting go of the hold he had on that anger, Sam turned as Crowley spoke. He stared for a second before he acted, landing a punch in the direct center of the demon's face.

It was a quick secession of moments. Succeeding her reply was silence as Sam looked as if he was trying to hold back from yelling, clearly angered. Why was he so angry about this? What did he care what she had done? She didn't understand. Next came the voice of their third party to this conversation, with a sort of amusement ringing in his tone as he interrupted. It was what happened after that that had a surprised gasp escaping the small brunette, with panic immediately following. Sam had punched Crowley straight in his face, just like he had done to that drunk bastard who had treated her poorly. Only this bastard could do some serious damage back. "Sam, don't!" Kassie shouted, moving herself in front of Crowley, with her back to him as she faced Sam with a pleading look. "Please. This won't end well."

Crowley let out a muffled chuckle as he covered his mouth and nose with a hand. He popped his broken nose back into place, then wiped the blood away. "C'mon, Moose. There's no need for violence," he claimed, as the witch placed herself between them The concern wasn't for him, however, but for the hunter. Lovely.

Sam's fists clenched and un-clenched as Kassie put herself between them. "Kassie, move. This piece of shit has had this coming for years." The tension in his jaw was actually painful, but he could ignore it. His pain didn't matter after knowing what Crowley had done. All that mattered was destroying the son of a bitch (literally) once and for all.

Kassie heard a dark chuckle come from behind her and then Crowley mention a moose again... It dawned on her a moment later that he was referring to Sam— for some reason, like a pet name. Her confusion, however, was cut short as Sam was now barking at her to move out of his way; that the demon deserved what he was willing to dole out. But that wasn’t why Kassie stood in his way, not really. “That may be,” she allowed but didn’t back down. “But beating him to a pulp is redundant— and stupid.” She reached for her wand, standing up straighter. “And I won’t let you.”

He was ready to move her himself when he saw her hand move for her wand. Anger shifted to surprise momentarily, but quickly switched back to anger. "You're going to use magic on me for him? Wow. He really fucked you up, didn't he?" Sam shook his head. His attention moved back to Crowley with a deep scowl. "Why? Why her?"

He was amused at the little witch, but more pleased than anything. She had been learning. Clearly Sam was less impressed, however, throwing his words at her as his own form of weapon. He raised a brow at the hunter's question. "Well, it's not as though I knew who she was to you, Samuel. I'd have asked for much more if I had. She was just another deal. When I discovered her connection to you, though--" he licked his lips, the taste of blood strong. "That changed things. It's about time I have an upper hand with you, don't you think?"

"You already have Ry. Let Kassie be."

"Do I? I think we both know that particular situation has changed." He admitted with a frown. "Even still, a deal is a deal, Sammy. And I don't think the lady wants out, anyway. Do you, darling?"

Anger and violence was really the wrong way to handle this, on multiple levels, but with a bunch of hot heads, at least in this instance, it was kinda unavoidable. "You aren't giving me much of a choice, Sam!" Kassie retorted, her English accent thick with heightened emotion. She couldn't let him, not when she knew what Crowley would be able to do to him, could still do if he really wanted to. She just hoped that her stepping in would prevent him from hurting Sam.

Sam shifted his attention to the demon behind her, his anger only skyrocketing as he demanded an explanation on to why this was even happening. Crowley reiterated himself, claiming that he hadn't know who she was when they met-- which was true. Their meeting was purely happenstance. It was only later that Crowley had let slip mention of the Winchester Brothers and recognition sparked in his newest conquest, causing him to realise just how fortunate the struck deal was. A fact he apparently felt the need to rub Sam's nose in.

Ry was brought up, the Huntress that housed some of Crowley's power, with Sam making a poor argument that since she was his she should be spared. Missing the definition of 'upper hand' aside, the demon argued back that she wasn't his anymore; Kassie shifted her gaze to her left peripheral but stayed silent on the matter. It was only until the subject returned to her did her jaw unhinge. "I do not wish to return to the way I was, no," she replied, and her blank stare fell back on Sam. "I chose this, Sam. Me. For whatever reason you're upset, you're directing it at the wrong person. It was my decision."

"No," Sam replied forcefully, shaking his head before a hand jutted through his hair and clenched into a fist. This wasn't happening. Couldn't happen. Not again. Not with her. Finally, after several moments of trying to reign in his emotions, Sam met Kassie's gaze. He allowed his worry, sorrow, and concern to fill his features. "Why?" He asked again, but this time it was a question for her. He wanted to shout at her, to take her in his hands and shake her until she admitted she had been coerced. Truthfully, he knew no deal was ever truly the choice of the victim, but completely on the demon offering. They played to weakness, offering everything someone could want. And all it would cost was their soul-- ten years of whatever they wanted in exchanged for an eternity of torture. And now Kassie was-- he couldn't think about that. Not now. He needed answers. Needed to get her to back down, let him do what he wanted to Crowley. Not just for her deal, but so much more. Especially the look that was pinned on him at that very moment.

Sam chose to reply with outright denial as he apparently had a hard time accepting the truth, even now that it came from her lips. She still didn't understand his reaction, the anger and the intensity with which he displayed. He had shown this side of him before, but those times had been because of a threat, and he had protected her-- even from his own brother. But she wasn't in danger here, nor did she believe he cared as much for her now as he did then. Things had transpired and changed between them, leaving everything murkier than ever. But then, after a long moment of struggling with his rage, Sam's gaze locked with hers and new expressions emerged. Ones that had the small witch hesitating-- especially with his accompanied question. She blinked, her brows pulling slightly together. "'Why'? Why what? Why did I take the deal?" The reason was personal, but she told him anyway. "Because I couldn't keep living the way I was. It was like I was suffocating; drowning even though I walked on dry land. Depressed to the point where I considered just ending it all. Came close too...but every time I botched it. Couldn't even do that right. Pathetic. I was pathetic-- and practically worthless. A disappointment and a screwup..." She cocked her head to the side. "Does that answer your question?"

Crowley remained silent, enjoying the show. Poor, pathetic Moose crumbling under the realization that his love had given up everything. And the little witch-- she was deliciously oblivious to the hunter's feelings. Such a wonderful situation, better than he had hoped for.

Sam gaped at Kassie. How had she felt this way and never shown him even a hint of it? Sure, they hadn't been as close of late but this... "Why didn't you talk to me? I would've-- I could've helped. Anything would be better than this." He knew there was desperation in his tone, but he didn't care. Not right then. All he could picture was the day the hounds came for her. He couldn't let that happen, wouldn't.

Kassie gauged his reaction to her admittance, watching as shock flowed out and started to mix with the clear agitation he already wore. She supposed it would come as a surprise as she never really confessed to anyone about how utterly and irrevocably broken she felt, let alone him. But it wasn't as though lately he had been too keen on the idea of letting her anywhere close... Which is why his reply came as a bit of a joke; something Kassie called him out on. "You're joking, right?" she asked, sounding dubious. "Sam, I had an easier time opening up to a complete stranger. What does that tell you?" Especially considering that stranger happened to be Crowley, a bloody demon. She shook her head. "I don't understand why you're so upset by this... He helped me. Made me better. No longer do I lie awake at night, hating myself and just wishing that I would just blink out of existence. I can breathe again. Don't you see that?"

He had to remind himself his anger was at Crowley, not Kassie. But her responses were honestly infuriating. At the same time, he felt something break inside of him at her words. How had he missed all of this? He pressed his lips together, wincing. "He doesn't help people, Kass. He manipulates them into selling him their souls. He always has a hidden plan." His attention shifted back to the demon who was smiling smugly at him. "Let her out of it." He demanded.

"What? You heard the lady; she's happy she made the deal, Moose. Now, why would I put all that pain and misery back on her when she's clearly so satisfied with the deal we made. Hmm?"

Amongst the anger, she saw a flicker of pain cross Sam's features as she tried to make him see things from her perspective, which again gave her pause. She knew that it wasn't Crowley, his dark power making no insidious movements towards the hunter, so the pain had to have come from her somehow. From her response, but she didn't know in what way, and his retort back only really vaguely shined a light on things but nothing specific. She had only told him that it had been her choice to make, so if it was an act of injustice that had him so riled up then he needn't worry, but before she could reiterate that she understood the consequences, he shifted his attention to the demon behind her and barked out an order to let her out of her deal. That actually caused a negative reaction in the witch as a spark of fear of reverting back lit within her. She didn't want to reverse it, for all the reasons she had listed. But before that fear could spread, Crowley spoke up, using a tone that said he would do no such thing. She could hear the taunting easily enough, which caused her to keep a close eye on Sam, only now there was a frown upon her lips. She turned around to face Crowley before asking, "May I speak with him alone a few minutes?"

This wasn't how he had intended for things to go in this situation. But, the little witch was just full of surprises. He raised a brow as she turned to face him, hitting him with her request. While he very much did not wish to leave the room, he needed her to trust him. So, despite his reservations, the King gave a slight nod of consent before exiting through the door of the room. Of course, he'd be able to hear everything said, but that was his secret.

Sam watched as Crowley consented to Kassie's request, which really surprised him. Granted, he knew the demon likely wanted to make it seem as though he actually respected his newly acquired soul, so he'd do anything to make that seem reality. His attention shifted back to Kassie as the door closed behind Crowley, and he allowed a deep frown to encompass his features as he did so.

Kassie waited with bated breath for the King to answer her, unsure how he was going to respond. She hadn't really asked him for anything since their contract was signed and her soul bound to him, but simply went along with whatever he had asked her, but now that Sam was involved... Something inside her wouldn't let her just stand idly by and watch it all unfold according to Crowley's wishes. She had seen first hand what he was capable of, and she couldn't let Sam befall a similar fate. She wouldn't. Finally, Crowley gave a slight nod of his admittance to her request and exited the room. Only he went through the door instead of blinking out, which meant he intended to stay close and perhaps listen in. But Kassie just needed him out of the room and away from Sam, so he could focus solely on her and direct his reactions to the news on the one who was responsible and not on the one who could so easily end his life should he say or do the wrong thing...

Once they were alone and the door resounded shut, Kassie's gaze fell upon Sam about the same time his did with her. He was frowning, and briefly, Kassie thought back to the time he had become a dog as his eyes resembled that form before shaking that thought away. "Sam, you need to understand that this was my decision," she said, calm but firm. "I know what he is, what demons do...but it wasn't like that. I wasn't manipulated. I knew exactly what I was doing and the cost of it all. To me, even if you disagree, the cost is worth it. For all I know I would've ended up in Hell, anyway, for being what I am and what I've done. At least this way I can have a chance to breathe again and actually feel somewhat alive..."

The deepest sadness filled him to the brim, threatening to spill out in the form of tears. He wouldn't let her see that, though. Her confidence that she had made a good decision was so clear to him, that it hurt. It was a hurt that went deeper than most he'd felt, and he wasn't sure what to do with that. On top of that, he knew how contracts with Crowley went, how they were signed, and it turned his stomach as he pictured it. He had to look away from her, so he looked to the door that Crowley had just exited through. He couldn't do this, couldn't just-- just sit by and let her become a slave to the bastard. And then the ten years... why-- how could she consider this a good decision.

Composing himself, he forced himself to look at her again, doing his best to mask every emotion as he was so well versed in doing. "So you are really going to stand there and tell me that ten years being that-- being his puppet is better than a life free? That you'd rather be tied to Crowley? Really? How can you even think that is a viable option? Do you really think he's just going to let you live the next ten years the way you want to?"

Sam, apparently being so sickened by her decision, couldn't even stand to look at her and turned his back so that he faced the door. Something that would have honestly torn the woman up--had she not made the deal. Instead, she just stared at his back with the same confusion she's worn ever since she walked into the room. No, she hadn't expected him to express happiness for her, but she also hadn't expected him to look as though she had just stabbed him both in the back and the chest, either. Opening and closing her mouth a couple of times, trying to decide if she wanted to ask, but before she could get the question out, Sam turned back to her, face struggling to maintain a hardened look that could arguably be similarly compared to Dean's. Which made sense since-- The witch didn't get a chance to finish that thought as a string of enquiries were now being pelted at her, one right after another. Right. "I'm not a--" she started to argue before realising that the definition of a puppet wasn't what was important, so she took a deep breath and started over, choosing instead to insert a bit more calm into the conversation. "What is it you want me to say, Sam?--That I regret it?" She shrugged a shoulder, shaking her head a little. "I don't. I felt horrible, every single day, and now, that's just...gone. Crowley gave me a new life, that yes, has a shorter expiry date, but... I can't go back to the alternative. I won't live-- exist like that again. I'd rather be dead... At least, this way, I can still live, if only for a little while." She looked at Sam, trying to catch a glimpse of recognition instead of looks of betrayal. So much for not caring what he thinks. "Now do you understand?"

He stared back at her slack-jawed, not believing the words she was saying to him. "No," he said softly, shaking his head. "I don't understand. I don't understand how you could think that anything offered to you that would cost you-- no. You know what? I can't do this. Stand back and just be okay that I have to lose you to him. That you honestly thought that even I wasn't enough for you to live for."

Clearly, the level the comprehension was at an all-time low as she too was struggling to understand the situation from his perspective just as he was with her. She wasn't sure how else to explain it to him, but she could tell he wasn't getting it, even before he verbally confirmed as such. And then, as he went on, they swapped positions, and confusion crossed her face. "What? What are you even on about?" she asked incredulously. "'Live for?' 'Lose me?' Sam, the last time we were together you told me that this..was a mistake. That I was. And you know what? You were right. You were right to push me away." At this point, she knew that those words had come from an angel and not actually Sam, but she hadn't known that in the moment and they correlated with his insistence to keep her at a safe distance, so, it hadn't really mattered who had actually said it, it had come out of his mouth anyway. "I was never going to be good enough for you. I know that. So, if this is...guilt, or whatever, don't. Just don't. Let me be and I'll...do the same with you."

His lips pursed. Okay, yeah, he'd said that. It was a stupid attempt to keep her safe. No, who was he kidding? It was his attempt to keep himself safe from any more heartbreak. Everyone he ever loved, he lost. Usually by some violent, traumatic means. Of course, the current conversation just handed him exactly what he'd been trying to avoid, so that worked out well, huh? "I pushed you away because-- well, because obviously I'm an idiot. I was trying to prevent this type of scenario. Trying to keep you alive. I didn't think that would mean you'd literally sign your death contract." His tone was a bit angry, but he felt he had every right to be. Question was, was he angry at her, himself, or both? "I-- I care about you, Kass. Forget what I said before, I do and always have wanted you in my life. It's just--" Nope, too much to say in a space of time he knew didn't warrant it. "I won't let you be. I won't, because that's not what I want and I know for damn sure it isn't what you want, either."

In all honesty, Sam pushing her away had been the final nail in her impending coffin, but she had been broken long before him, so when Crowley came along...it hadn't exactly been his fault. Her opinion of herself was about as low as one could get, believing she was nothing more than a waste of space, despite others telling her differently; she just couldn't believe them. And because of her nonexistent self-esteem, she had assumed that Sam would grow tired of her as obviously she had a long list of deep-rooted issues that would drive any sane person away. So when he started to wall himself off from her...that's what she told herself was happening, and naturally, she jumped at the offered chance to avoid dealing with any more heartbreak. She had been in enough pain as it was, she couldn't handle more. Weak and pathetic, just as she mentioned, and not someone she wanted to be again. That woman would already be in tears on the floor; a stark difference from the one who now stood her ground, taking the verbal lashing head-on. Though she did have to admit it was getting to her slightly; she had to swallow against the slight lump in her throat. "You literally just said you couldn't do this," she reminded him, hating that her voice shook a little. "No one's making you. Least of all me."

His jaw set with frustration as she misinterpreted his words. Emotions running high, confusing what each other was saying was inevitable he knew. Did that mean he was going to give up right then? Of course not. If anything could be said about Sam Winchester, it was that he fought for those he cared about no matter the situation or cost. So he took a slow, deep breath and let it out, meeting her gaze with determination. "When I said I can't do this, I meant that I can't just stand by and allow this to be. I can't just watch you be his--" Another slow, deep breath. "I know you believe you made the right choice. I know I was probably the reason for it, because that's just the way shit happens in my life. But I don't believe it was, and I am not going to let you stay trapped in this deal when you shouldn't be in it to begin with." He'd gotten Crowley to reverse a deal before, right? He could do it again. He just needed something-- anything-- that Crowley would want more than Kassie. Tall order, but he'd served plenty of those over time. The trouble was that the stakes felt higher with this one. Because he-- she was-- it was different.

Leave it to her to focus on one part of what he said instead of the whole, but it was that part that fit the narrative she told herself and therefore made the most sense. Anything else just...didn't. But why shouldn't they just go their separate ways? They had both made their choice--or, at least, she had thought they had. Sam apparently thought now was a good time to rescind his and claim that he had never not wanted her in his life. Despite all his actions to the contrary. Miscommunication at its finest, really, which is exactly what plagued the pair here as well. Even after Sam had clarified, Kassie still wasn't grasping it as she felt the need to repeat herself. But he was continuing before she was able. Only then did things click. "'Let me?'" She scoffed softly. "You're not going to 'let me?' Really? What I do with my life and my soul is my choice and my choice alone. You don't get to decide my fate. I'm sorry that you feel guilty or whatever, but I am telling you that it wasn't your fault. So let it go."

He stared blankly at her as she dismissed him and his words as if they were of no importance. She had, once again, taken part of what he had said and turned it around to suit herself, rather than actually listening to what he was saying. It was clear that emotions were far too high for either of them to communicate thoroughly right then. He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You know what? Fine." His hand dropped and he looked at her. "When you're ready to talk, and actually hear me out, you know where I'll be. Because you clearly don't want anything to do with me right now." He had started moving toward the door, but stopped to look back at her with a deep frown. "I'm sorry, Kass. Whether you believe it or not, this whole thing is my fault. And I'll fix it, with or without your help." He didn't wait for her to respond, instead pulling the door open and stepping out, deciding he'd just check out and get back on the road rather than stay there any longer.

As the door closed behind him, his gaze met Crowley's, who was standing with his back against a support beam to the balconies of the rooms above. To his credit, the demon wasn't allowing anything to show in his expression, which was probably the only thing that saved him from getting punched in the jaw. "I don't know what you think you're going to gain from this, but I can promise you it isn't going to stick." His voice came out as more of a growl than he had meant for it to, but it helped get his point across.

He had, of course, heard the entire conversation behind the closed door. He wasn't about to reveal that to the livid hunter staring him down at the moment, but having the knowledge was useful. He kept his expression blank, even after Sam's veiled threat, knowing better than to antagonize a Winchester. "I look forward to seeing what you come up with," was all he said in response as the man stormed past him, clipping him with a shoulder. Smarter of the two that he was, Sam's emotions certainly clouded his intelligence more often than not. Which was what he had hedged his bet on. He turned to watch Sam as he moved to his vehicle. "I'll be seeing you sooner than you think, Moose."

He was glad he hadn't taken his bag out of the car, yet, giving him the freedom to leave without having to go back into the room and face Kassie again. Crowley's parting words struck him, causing his jaw to set against the string of insults he wanted to set loose on him. Instead, he pulled open the driver's side door and climbed behind the wheel, slamming the door closed once he was in. The car started easily and he drove across the parking lot to the office to check out. A quick process, that soon allowed for him to be tearing out of the parking lot, tires squealing as they hit the pavement, and speeding in the direction of home.

Any relief she might have felt from him finally giving this up and therefore, reprieving her from that awful kicked puppy expression he was trying and failing to hide while staring at her was cut short by what he said next. Still, she stood firmly in place and swallowed--albeit heavily as this conversation--him in particular--was provoking feelings that should not be present anymore. It actually caused her heart rate to rise slightly as it scared her into thinking that her deal was somehow wearing off and that was absolutely the last thing she wanted at the moment. Tied with, apparently, Sam bloody apologising, claiming that this whole thing was his fault (despite her clearly saying that it wasn't), and promising that he would fix it. "Sam, don't," she replied somewhat sharply, her voice rising, but he wasn't sticking around to argue anymore and promptly walked out the door of the motel without another word. The witch lowered her head and placed it into her hands like it suddenly hurt, but really, she was holding back a frustrated scream as so many emotions hit her all at once. And unfortunately for the room, that forced the suppressed intense feeling to escape another way. Light-bulbs shattered, mirrors cracked, and fuses exploded; only for Kassie to finally give in to that exasperated yell anyway.

He watched until the car driven by a moose was out of sight before deciding to see what all the noise coming from the room was. He opened the door, gaze taking in the destruction before falling upon the witch. He clicked his tongue, then moved a few steps into the room. "I take it the conversation did not go to your liking, then?" Of course, he knew exactly how the conversation had gone, and it pleased him more than he was going to let on.

It was only a moment after she let out her irritation did Crowley walk through the door and the expression she gave him after looking up was not one of welcome. Still, her response was relatively mild, she just wasn't exactly pleased at the moment. "Don't pretend you didn't hear every word," she replied, fighting to keep the bite out of her voice and therefore the accusation. She honestly didn't care that he eavesdropped, but she wasn't in the mood to play games. "I hope you're at least happy. I assume this is the outcome you were searching for."

His brows lifted as he feigned surprise at her accusation. "Why would you ever assume that this would be what I was striving for?" His tone showed no signs of mocking, or even offense. It was just a simple question, but one he didn't allow her time to answer. "To have you, here, distracted by the tumultuous interaction you just had? While Pretty Boy drives home to cry to his brother? Yes, exactly what I want." The last was dripping with sarcasm, as a final attempt to drive home the point that he hadn't wished for this to be the outcome at all. Of course, he couldn't say he was as bitter about it all as he seemed; it did offer up an opportunity he hadn't foreseen prior to this moment.

Stupidly, the girl believed the demon at face value, buying into the narrative he laid out for her, and ended up apologising to him. But she had spent too much time with him, building trust, to suspect that he was lying. "I'm sorry. I just--" She looked at him, displaying some of that previous emotion that shouldn't be accessible anymore. "Why did you have to tell him? Really? He could have gone on not knowing. And we all would have been better for it. Now, he's... Now, he thinks this is his fault and he has to save me. I never wanted that. It's actually one of the last things I wanted. So, why? Was it really just to gloat?"

A single brow quirked upward, mere centimeters, as he watched and listened to her. He had to consciously stop himself from narrowing his eyes as the thoughts in his head triggered further thoughts and questions that went beyond their conversation. "It's just something about those Winchesters," he made a face and shrugged. "Can't help but share with them. Must be those eyes, hmm?" A slight smirk twitched the corners of his mouth upward a moment before he recovered. "Truthfully, though, I must admit that I struggle keeping much from Sam or Dean, as they have been such significant help to me in the past. Even if it means making things more difficult for another." Please. If she believed that, the poor sod would believe anything at this point.

Crowley had been believable...right up until that point where he clearly took it too far. "Oh, come off it, Mate," she tossed back, the edge now entering her voice as she crossed her arms, looking non-too-happy with the demon. "Now you're just mocking me.--Thanks." As if she didn't already feel shitty enough as it was. He really didn't need to add to it. "Fucking hell..." She placed a hand on her creased forehead, rubbing it with her fingers before looking back at Crowley. "Are we quite finished? May I go now? Or did you want another stab at my expense?"

He tilted his head watching the slight woman. Why was it always the tiny ones that housed such immense power? He wasn't even sure that this one was aware of just how powerful she was, which suited him just fine. "Aww, Pet, don't be sour with me. I apologize, that was uncouth." He let that sit for a moment, then continued. "Yes, we'll be done for today."

Unless your name was Sam or Dean Winchester, giving this demon sass was a risk you had better make carefully or things just might turn disastrous. However, right now, Kassie wasn't thinking about that as it was obvious she was far too upset to act cautiously and mouthed off, letting him know that she was not appreciative of the shit he was currently giving her. Thankfully, but more so surprisingly, Crowley actually apologised to her. Not for telling Sam, of course, but for poking fun. Which was something that might have stunned her more had it been under different circumstances, but she could, at least, acknowledge the sentiment. "Thank you," she said a little stiffly but the anger was easing off. She stepped to leave the room. "Let's go get drinks. You're buying."

He was amused at her change in attitude. Normally, having anyone tell him what to do would have him immediately reminding them who they were speaking to. However, he needed to ensure she remained loyal to him and continued working on the things he asked of her rather than outright rebellion. Not that she was indentured to him beyond the basics of their deal, but she seemed unaware of that fact thus far, and he intended to keep it that way. "Right," he scoffed, still, rolling his eyes. "Just don't drain my accounts, eh?"

It was her turn to scoff. Not only did he owe her, but also-- "Hey, I'm not the one who opts for top-shelf whiskey, Mate," she pointed out, tossing him a knowing look over her shoulder. "Or hundreds-of-years-old wine. I mean, you do you if that's what you like, but as a personal preference, I like not to be punched in the face by my drinks." She was sure to hear all about how underdeveloped her pallet was but honestly, after the conversation she just had, she welcomed whatever long-winded and petty retort that was about to come out of Crowley's mouth.

Amusement played along the edges of his features from the way she worded things. A single nod was all she got in response, however, as he was doing his best to keep her on good terms, for the time being. Angering her wasn't on the agenda, and so neither was saying anything that she could twist to suit her need for someone to pick a fight with. All those pent up emotions-- ones she shouldn't be able to have per their deal-- were likely just waiting for a single moment to take over. He wouldn't be the one to provide that.

He rolled his eyes after a moment, shaking his head for emphasis. "Right. Well, let's get at it then, shall we? I know just the place."

The demon disappointed her by not answering in kind to her sassy remark, leaving her to become slightly huffy and irritated because she wanted the distraction; to focus on something trivial, but, of course, all she got was a couple of nonverbal gestures that could be barely construed as responses. "Brilliant," she said, again sounding a bit short, but she was ready to knock back a few in hopes of forgetting what had just transpired.

#alwaysaweapon #ri na ifreann #adventures elsewhere

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electricea-archive · 2 years ago

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@thuganomxcs sent - 3. Who are your longest rp friends? ( Memes for Roleplay Muns - Accepting! )

3. Who are your longest RP friends?

There’s definitely many people that I recognize from my first Ryuji blog - I feel that @tricksheart is someone who’s been in the fandom for as long as I have, if not longer and I almost feel like I’ve known them from the beginning. I also didn’t really become friends with @cantillat until pretty recently but they had been someone who I saw in the RPC a lot and was always sort of aware of, before actually talking to them. I also recognize @aplushemporium, back when they had a single muse blog just for Momo and went by another URL. Likewise, I knew @shymaru when they began as a dual muse blog but then shifted into being a beta design Kiyotaka Ishimaru instead. There have been many OC’s who I’ve seen on here for a really long time - @lachrymosestorm and @theshytigergirl come to mind as two that I feel I’ve seen on the dash for a very long time now. I also remember @calamitysshatteredson from back in my Final Fantasy days and even if we don’t really talk, they’re the type of person I’ll always follow and support because I admired them so much in those days and thought really highly of them.

Probably my oldest friend has been @isaaccecilbryant - I met them before I even started as Ryuji, even before the other Final Fantasy blog who I highlighted. I met them in the early early days of my blog in the Final Fantasy fandom and it was actually kind of through someone else and I just always remember how they started a thread with me right off the bat and even though our interactions might have begun from that other, third person - we quickly sort of spun off into our own thing and we did our own ship and our own threads together and I’m not really sure how it happened but we got to talking on Skype a lot, so the move to Discord down the line felt like a perfect natural one. They were there when I was considering making Ryuji, they were the one encouraging me, they may not have been the very first person who I met through RP on here but they’re easily someone who I kept in touch with for the longest and I continue to keep things that way. We do everything together, we talk at least once a week, we stream shows together, we have a whole server with all of our RP stuff, as well as RPing on here too. They’re truly just my oldest friend an amazing person and someone who I will always recommend and support and cheer on and I know that they would absolutely do the same. I’m proud to call them my longest RP friend.

#isaaccecilbryant #( ooc. )

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mostlysignssomeportents · 3 years ago

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Interop and the Public Interest Internet

When we talk about the internet’s problems and solutions, we tend to focus on Big Tech, the monopolizers who dominate our digital lives. That’s only natural.

But there’s another internet, one that deserves our attention: The Public Interest Internet.

https://www.eff.org/issues/public-interest-internet

The Public Interest Internet is a “wider, more diverse, more generous world. Often run by volunteers, frequently without any institutional affiliation, sometimes tiny, often local, but free for everyone online to use and contribute to, this internet preceded big tech.”

EFF’s ongoing series on the Public Interest Internet has highlighted public, volunteer film scholarship:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/05/enclosure-public-interest-internet

Music utilities:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/05/outliving-outrage-public-interest-internet-cddb-story

and music recommendations and metadata:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/06/organizing-public-interest-musicbrainz

Today, I’ve published a new installment in the series, “The Tower of Babel: How Public Interest Internet is Trying to Save Messaging and Banish Big Social Media,” about the projects that link together messaging platforms with multiprotocol clients.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/07/tower-babel-how-public-interest-internet-trying-save-messaging-and-banish-big

These projects grew up with messaging itself. Back in the days when we were being asked to choose between AIM, ICQ, IRC, MSN and Yahoo Messenger, many of us instead chose “all and none of the above.”

Tools like Adium and Pidgin let you talk to all of those services using a single tool, so you wouldn’t have to juggle a half-dozen clients and keep track of which one you used to talk to whom.

For a while there, it looked like we were going to be free of the need for this kind of tool — a time when even companies like Google and Facebook embraced a common messaging standard that let users talk to one another across their walled gardens.

But the lure of locking in users trumped the user benefits of cross-platform communications, and today we live in a shattered messaging hellscape that includes Slack, Discord, WhatsApp, iMessage, Signal, FB Messenger, Teams, Instagram, TikTok, Hangouts, Twitter DMs and Skype.

The same toolsmiths that tackled messaging fragmentation in the 2000s are still at it in the 2020s, but in a higher-stakes environment where laws like the DMCA and CFAA pose chilling legal risks. Nevertheless, they’re plugging away at this unglamorous, essential work.

Take Gary Kramlich, the sole full-time developer on Pidgin. Kramlich quit his job in 2019 and has been living frugally on his savings and a small grant while undertaking a top-to-bottom refactoring of Pidgin’s venerable code-base.

He’s got another month or two before he’ll have to go back to a day-job (unless he finds a funder!), but in the meantime, the giant cyber-arms dealer Zerodium has offered a $100k bounty for weaponized exploits in Pidgin’s code that can be used to attack Pidgin users.

$100k is about four years’ budget for Kramlich — money he pays out of pocket — while Zerodium is willing to scrape that up from behind its sofa-cushions to pay for weapons that hurt Pidgin users.

https://therecord.media/zerodium-acquiring-zero-days-in-pidgin-an-im-client-popular-with-cybercriminals/

Kramlich describes his work in human terms: “It’s all about communication and bringing people together, allowing them to talk on their terms. That’s huge. You shouldn’t need to have 30GB of RAM to run all your chat clients. Communications run on network effects.

“If the majority of your friends use a tool and you don’t like it, your friends will have to take an extra step to include you in the conversation. That forces people to choose between their friends and the tools that suit them best.”

I agree with him about network effects and I want to add something here about switching costs. You might join an messaging service because of network effects (you want to talk to the users who are already there), but you stay because of switching costs.

If you quit a service, you quit the friends who use it. If those friends matter a lot to you, then the service operator can do pretty terrible things to you (like invading your privacy) and you’ll still stick around.

Multiprotocol clients like Pidgin attack those switching costs head on, letting you escape a service provider’s walled garden and still pass messages to the people who aren’t ready to leave yet. Not only does this make your life better, it makes their life better, too.

Because when it’s easy to leave a service — when the switching costs are low — the service has to worry about losing users, and that limits how badly they can abuse the users that stay behind.

Multiprotocol clients are a perfect example of Adversarial Interoperabitlity (AKA Competitive Compatibility or comcom) — the practice of plugging new stuff into existing stuff, even if the people who made that stuff object.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/10/adversarial-interoperability

The fact that tiny groups of volunteers can self-fund hugely important tools that positively impact the daily lives of millions of people is partly the reason that early internet advocates fell in love with the possibilities for networked communications.

As my colleague Danny O’Brien wrote, these are “a renewable resource that tech monopolies and individual users alike continue to draw from….’

“When Big Tech is long gone, a better future will come from the seed of this public interest internet: seeds that are being planted now, and which need everyone to nurture them until they’re strong enough to sustain our future in a more open and free society. ”

#pluralistic

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laughingmagi · 3 years ago

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——— BASICS !

(PEN)NAME: Iggy

PRONOUNS: they/them

ZODIAC SIGN: virgo

SINGLE / TAKEN: single

——— THREE FACTS !

i’m a mostly femme presenting enby, partially due to being pretty ambiguous to gender binary overall, and the rest is just that a like putting on makeup and frocks. I fully believe I would feel the same way if I were amab.

i’ve never beat a Pokemon game, which is only on my mind because I just started playing HeartGold (on an emulator shhhhhhhh, I like older video games but the industry is really allergic to preservation).

I started drinking tea instead of coffee over the past year, loose leaf only. I have two tea pots, one a basic bitch glass one, the other a small ceramic pot with an owl painted on it.

——— EXPERIENCE !

PLATFORMS USED: tumblr and Discord. Used to RP on Skype, too, and maaaaaany moons ago I played tabletop Vampire: The Masquerade. With dice and everything.

HOW LONG? Been RPing on tumblr since 2013, baybee.

——— MUSE PREFERENCE !

GENDER: Ehhhh....The scales might tip a little closer to male characters, but I’m fine with females.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S): Okay, so this is prolly gonna come off as fiddly and particular, but I don’t have so much an issue with a single face claim, but more the issue of how ones with iconic roles are used. For example, say you want to use Harrison Ford as a face claim. Great, brilliant, he’s got a great face, he contributed to my sexual awakening. When you’re choosing icons, maybe don’t use caps from Star Wars or Indiana Jones, because frankly, you can tell me you chose him for your character, regardless or if they’re OC or canon, and I see Han Solo in your reply, it’s going to pull me out of it, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t call it a dealbreaker, but it just irritates me.

MULTI OR SINGLE: I do it all baby, but I’ll admit the activity is a bit slow on my multi.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT ! ♡

FLUFF: Big fan, can’t get enough.

ANGST: i like it but I prefer it with a partner I’m in open communication with, I’ve found that otherwise it becomes tragic back story Olympics and I just find that exhausting.

SMUT: i’ll write it with the right partner, you know if we hit it off. I will not write it with someone I have not talked to out of character. I tend to write it mostly on Discord because tumblr’s cuts don’t thread proper anymore. It’s fucking broken and the don’t seem willing or able to fix it. Now I’ll thread it without a cut but I do sometimes feel a bit guilty because I know people don’t always want to see it regardless of how well it’s written. Blame the years and years of slut shaming nonsense that I’ve experienced as an erotica writer in fandom. oh you lot wanna read it but god forbid you respect the person that writes it, no I’m not bitter.

PLOT / MEMES: Bit of both?

stolen from: @mystictricks

tagging: steal from me~

#dash games #munday ooc

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prorevenge · 4 years ago

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A stranger scammed me out of $300 online. I tracked him down, called his dad's work phone, and got my money back.

Long post, TL;DR below. Early last year I was deep in depression, spending the Spring in my room (I work in a seasonal industry which pays just enough to live on during the off months.)

All I did was play video games all day which led to me getting into game marketplace sites and planning on starting a side hustle selling in game items and accounts in MMos. I was brand new to the "industry" and didn't have contacts to learn from, so I just went for it and posted my first listing. I got a few hits back early and found an interested "buyer" (I'll refer to him later as C) who told me he was ready to purchase.

The way these transactions are supposed to go is this: A reputable middleman (There were several known MM in the community that I joined) takes in the product and the payment, verifies both, then distributes both ways after taking a cut for their services. This circumvents the "you first" prolem where you have to trust solely in the other guy to not scam you. -Well.. They impersonated a middleman well enough to fool me. I admit that it was 100% on me, I didn't know what I was doing. I just wanted to start selling so bad and I was glad to see quick hits on my first listing.

So, the "middleman" (To this day I don't know if there was a 3rd person acting as middleman or if it was C all along) takes the buyer's money, then the product which was a high ranked account in a popular competitve game. Suddenly, the MM says there was a problem with the payment and it needs to be redone.

At this point I know game's over and I just got scammed, but I went along with it as a sad parting gift to my first "sale." I message C and asked him how this was going to go. He told me he'll just direct paypal me the $300 now and apologized, which didn't make sense to me (you already scammed me, why haven't you blocked me yet?) I gave him my paypal email.

Conversation goes like this: C- "Sent." Me- "repeats my email same email correct?" C- "F%@& I sent it to the wrong email. I'll call paypal." Me- 3 minutes later "Are you going to send me $300 or no?" C- "I only had $450 in my paypal account, they should be able to refund me over the phone." Me- 5 minutes later "Okay. Progress?" C- "On the phone with them." Me 10 minutes of silence later- ":D" Then he goes offline. I call the MM several times but he's standoffish and won't pick up saying "something something privacy.. you arent giving me a reason to pick up the call." It's clear he's not being real with me.

I don't know what to do at this point as I've never encountered a sudden loss of hard work like that. I'm not a drinker at all but that night when faced with that emptiness while trying to get out of depression, I hit the bottle hard.

The next day I woke up naked on my bathroom floor in the pitch black and sheepishly checked my PC to see if it really happened. Without any hope at all I started googling this kid's two usernames that I knew of. I scanned the internet for every site that had an account with the same username that he used, but only found more scam reports (yep, I wasn't his first victim.) So I gave up.

A week later I came back and did it all over again, but this time I thought to check his discord profile to see if he had any other profiles linked to it (steam, twitch, etc.) and the genius did. I checked his steam profile and wrote down each of his past usernames that looked unique and wouldn't pull a million results.

After hours of scanning each one, I had his name, age (teenager,) city, email, skype, knew he went to chess tournaments as a kid, liked neopets, and found a youtube channel with his class project videos on it. It still wasn't enough though. All the information got me was another two contact methods, and I didn't want to start harassing him.

He ghosted me and emailing him wasn't going to change that. If I was going to get my money back, I needed to contact his parents and I knew this all along. In a last ditch effort I googled his emails again, found his google+ profile, and saw that he had a public photo library (which was discontinued by google very shortly after all this happened.) It had 1 picture. A perfect view of his house, from the street. Street number in view. After some searching without finding much I clicked "More info" on the picture and the the geo-tagged coordinates attatched to the picture appeared.

So now I have the address which I google along with the last name, which leads to me getting the first & last names of both parents. I pop that into trusty whitepages and have everything I need to spring my plan into action. While all this was going on I was updating my friend who lives in the same area as C. He asked if I wanted him to call since he had the same area code. It lined up perfectly so I agreed.

At this point I realize it's March 30th, just two days before April fools and C could probably play this off as some elaborate joke played by his friends so I call my friend off. It was so hard to wait, but we did and we waited long enough that it couldn't be looked at as a joke at all.

Two weeks later in a discord call I give my friend the green light and he calls phone #1. The cell. After a little ringing it cuts to voicemail and we decide to try phone #2, the work phone. This time the phone rang for significantly longer but also cut to voicemail and the message before the beep confirmed we had the right dad. My friend leaves a message saying "Hello Mr. ______, this is _ ______ with (marketplace name's) collection department. We currently have multiple fradulent activity cases open with your son C, totalling x thousands of dollars (I added up all the reports against him which were posted on the site and it totalled thousands, even talked to a couple people who he targeted.) At the moment we're reviewing the most recent case which involved a $300 transaction. If you could please, get back to us between 9am-10pm to resolve these cases. Thank you" All that was paraprased but that was his message.

He was very professional and seemed legit, and even though the dad might listen to it and ignore it we didn't think that was going to happen. It's worth noting that they live in a nice area of a nice state, so there was less of a chance that this would be a financial burden and the parents would likely just want to clear this up.

Two days later, while playing video games (yeah I had a problem.) I get a contact request notification. MY BOY C!

He tells me that he's a good person and he wants to give the account back. I check it and he played 10 games and lost each one which deranked and devalued the account (at this point I pretty much knew his parents were standing over his shoulder watching everything that was said. I could've even been speaking to them directly.) So I told him the account devalued, and I either want what he stole from me (the account at a higher rank) or I want $300. He told me he'll give me the account AND $300 (Parents coming through in the clutch!)

We went through a lot of hoops, trying paypal which he couldn't get to work, a few others and finally got google pay to work after troubleshooting stupid problems which I attriubted to him stalling. It was clear that they were scared of me since I got their info (and regularly called him by his first name throughout the convo as a power move lol) but I assured them I wasn't a bad person and told them to be extra safe of what you upload, especially if you're trying to scam people because when money is involved bad things can happen (playing into his parents who were surely reading it.) I explained the public Google+ upload of their clear to see geo-tagged house which I'm sure his they weren't happy about.

After he sent the money he asked for confirmation that I received it. I confirmed saying "YOU F** DID IT! SO PROUD OF YOU, C!" and he immediately went offline. I danced up and down the hallway and it was probably embarrasingly bad but I didn't care. I don't think the smile was gone from my face for an hour. It was a month long process and with the help of my friend the money was back. I haven't seen my friend in person since then, but when I do I owe him a top notch steak. He refused when I sent him $ online.

Instead of trying to resell the account and start back up in the marketplace I abandoned it all and went another way. I'm currently training for the military and in a much better place, but still have a long way to go.

A lot was left out of this story but it was a long one. I have screenshots of our conversations and I surely won't ever forget it.

TL;DR - I tried selling a video game account to see if I could make a new side hustle and got scammed since I was dumb, inexperienced and decided to trust the internet. I got scammed and took it hard but the scammer left too much of his info public and after a little bit of elbow grease I was able to obtain his & his parent's info and left his dad a voicemail. Two days later the scammer contacted me and gave me the money and the account back, apologizing. I learned from it.

(source) story by (/u/dstrezzd)

#prorevenge #by /u/dstrezzd #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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august-anon · 4 years ago

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Shark Attack

As I was reading this back, one last edit before posting, I was like "how are they holding their breath for so long" but yknow what, whatever lol, it's a fluffy fanfic I am allowed to take liberties lol. Hope y'all enjoy!

Also this was based both off a real-life game I used to play with a friend at my neighborhood pool (who I don’t think I’ve talked to in like 7+ years now actually lol) and off of THIS ancient prompt that I forgot existed so like,,,, whoops??

(Also I’ve had this written for like 2 months and I’m only now finally posting it whoops lol)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Ship(s): platonic Analogical

Characters (lee/ler): Switch!Virgil, Switch!Logan

Word Count: 1209 words

Summary: Logan and Virgil are together again for summer break, and Virgil decides he'd like to play one of their childhood games to reminisce.

[ao3 link]

---------------------------------

It was summer break, which meant Logan and Virgil were finally back in the same city.

Going to different colleges (and colleges so far from each other) was difficult, but they knew they couldn’t put their futures on hold just because they’d miss each other. They made do with phone calls and texts and skype and discord, but nothing beat the real thing when meeting back at home during holiday breaks.

And of course, the preferred house between the two friends when home for the summer was Logan’s, seeing as he had a decent sized pool in his backyard (and a hot tub, but that was saved for the evening when things were cooling off finally).

In said pool was where they found themselves, now, in old swim trunks they dug out from piles of Logan’s old clothes because neither remembered to go shopping for a new pair. They swam around for a while, splashing and laughing and enjoying the difference between the cool water and the warm air.

Then, Virgil said, “Remember that game we used to play, like, ages ago?”

Logan snorted and splashed him. “You’ll have to be more specific, Virgil.”

Virgil rolled his eyes with a grin. “That--that shark attack game! We should play that, for old time’s sake.”

Logan shook his head with a fond smile. “Sure,” he said. “Though it’s probably not as fun as it was when we were eleven.”

“Shut up,” Virgil said, and dove beneath the water.

Logan snorted again and continued moving innocently about the water, awaiting Virgil’s “attack.” He could see Virgil’s form circling his legs under the water, but he paid little mind and kept swimming. The name of the game kind of gave away any element of surprise Virgil might’ve been able to hold onto.

After a few more moments, Virgil tugged on his leg. Logan went easily, allowing himself to be pulled underwater with a chuckle muffled between his pursed lips so he didn’t swallow any chlorine. Virgil grinned at him and swam up, and Logan followed soon after.

“So entertaining,” Logan said dryly as he slicked his hair back.

Virgil mock-scowled at him. “Come on, we loved this when we were kids.”

“Yeah,” Logan laughed. “When we were kids!”

Virgil gave him a set of puppy-eyes to rival Patton’s. “Just a couple rounds, alright? For the nostalgia.”

Logan sighed and gave in just as easily as before. “Alright, alright. I guess it’s my turn, now?”

Without waiting for a reply, Logan dove under the water. He trailed after Virgil as he walked across the shallow end and proceeded to swim into the deep end, treading water when he reached the middle. Technically, to “win,” you had to grab the other person’s ankle and pull them under, but it was so simple.

So Logan figured, why not update the rules.

With a strong kick, he propelled himself toward Virgil. Instead of grabbing his ankle to pull him under, Logan wrapped his arms around Virgil’s torso and tazed his sides. He heard Virgil yelp above the water before slipping under the surface to squirm out of Logan’s grip.

Logan breached the surface and immediately started laughing. Virgil popped up not long after, scowling at him.

“That’s not how you play!”

Logan shrugged. “I figured the rules could use a bit of spicing up.”

Virgil grumbled, and Logan thought he would protest further, but he relented rather quickly.

“Fine,” he said. “Update your rules. I’ll show you.”

Virgil dove beneath the water again. Logan swam around, but Virgil held off on grabbing him. Suspicious, Logan swam over to where he could stand and just barely keep his head and shoulders in the water.

Then, Virgil attacked. Predictably, he still went for Logan’s ankle, pulling his foot off the pool floor. Unpredictably, his fingers were suddenly scritching away at the bottom of Logan’s foot in the most horribly ticklish fashion.

Logan squealed at the unexpected feeling and it briefly slipped his mind that the whole point of the game was to fall under the water. He started trying to hop away, tugging his foot to try and escape the feeling. He toppled into laughter as he realized he couldn’t escape. The water slowed his movements too much, and he couldn’t get enough strength behind them to throw Virgil off.

It wasn’t until Logan felt Virgil’s pinky start drilling slowly between two of his toes that he took a deep, giggly breath and fell beneath the water to fight Virgil off. The second his head went under, Virgil pulled away from the tickling and darted up. They were both gasping for air when the reached the surface.

“Tickling?!” Logan said. “Really?!”

Virgil shrugged with a smug grin. “You wanted to change up the rules,” he said. “So I changed up the rules.”

“I’ll show you ‘changing up the rules,’” Logan growled, but he was smiling, too.

He launched himself at Virgil with a shout, and Virgil squealed and darted away. There was a lot of splashing and accidental-chlorine-swallowing in the following scuffle, but eventually Logan dragged Virgil into his grasp, holding him tightly, back to chest, as they thrashed where they now stood in waist-deep water.

“That wasn’t even a new rule!” Logan said as he dug his fingers into Virgil’s sides, right at the waist. “You pulled that all the time when we were kids!”

Virgil shrieked and laughed, struggling in Logan’s grip. “No, that was you!” He argued through his cackles.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Logan replied, moving to dig both hands into Virgil’s stomach. “I took that game very seriously.”

“Jerk!” Virgil squealed at tummy tickles, finally thrashing enough to slip from Logan’s grip.

They didn’t stay separated for long. Virgil immediately lunged back at him, wrapping him in a tight hug so they were chest to chest, arms wound so far around him that they were able to dig straight into Logan’s hips.

Logan borderline screamed and was suddenly slightly worried about the neighbors calling the cops on them. He cackled and thrashed, but it was much harder to escape than he thought it’d be, with them both dripping in water. Virgil had too good of a grip, and Logan was weak and off-balance from the laughter and he couldn’t get the leverage to thrash away.

“Virgil!” He cried out through his frantic, borderline-hysterical guffaws.

“Yes, Logi?” Virgil grinned against his neck, blowing a quick raspberry there before making a disgusted sound. “Oh, gross! Not doing that again, you taste like pool.”

If Logan wasn’t already laughing from the maddening tickling, he would’ve been laughing at that. As it was, his laughter was starting to get a bit wheezy and his strength was fading even faster. Virgil must’ve noticed, because he let Logan go after just a few more moments.

“Truce?” He said with a grin, holding out his hand for Logan to shake.

Logan rolled his eyes, frame bouncing with residual giggles. “Truce,” he said, grabbing Virgil’s hand.

Virgil tugged Logan back into his side instead of shaking his hand, locking him in a headlock to give him a noogie.

“Virgil, quit!” Logan laughed, shoving at Virgil.

Needless to say, the truce did not last, and a lot more roughhousing followed.

#tickle fic #My writing #sanders sides tickling #lee!virgil #lee!logan #ler!virgil #ler!logan #ticklish!virgil #ticklish!logan #sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #Analogical #platonic analogical

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personal-mikantsumikwi · 4 years ago

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My experience with the Eddsworld Fan Movie

I was in the project between 2016 to 2019, for a while I remained in silence mainly because I was too scared or afraid to share my experiences with the project.

Now here we are, I am actually ready to share my experiences with the project.

I will not mention any names except Marc Lovallo, overall i have no personal grudges on the crew

nor anyone involved.

Since some of them are good friends of mine, I would rather not risk mentioning their names in the project since I heard from one of the directors they get unfairly harassed by fans for the leaked animatic.

I wish people could stop harassing crew over it, since most of them have no involvement with the animatic.

Here we go. Back in May 2016 I remember being interested in Marc work since he did the music for the legacy version of the Halloween Special (2007).

We later on become mutuals on twitter and actually begin to develop a friendship, we talk about sci-fi related content like doctor who and video games.

He later asked me to be a sound editor for the movie and I actually accepted his offer for the project.

(I will not mention the allegations on Marc since I am not comfortable sharing my thoughts on it. I rather focus on the movie, please don’t push it towards me.) I joined on May 19th 2016.

During my earlier experience, I actually was never invited in any Skype group chats until a few more months later. However when we started to move onto a crew discord server since it was better.

Honestly I barely did any work on the project, i felt i was forgotten about and actually never did anything important to the project.

Some crew members I knew feel the same way during Marc Lovallo's run as a director.

All I did is complain and complain, the only times when we got updated was during the videos that Marc uploaded onto youtube.

There were certain things I consider a bit unprofessional into the project, like the lack of contact from a director and lack of updates besides the videos.

Though I remember Marc making a few announcements of the project but they were rare sometimes.

Marc stepped down from the project around May of 2018, instead we got a new director in charge whom I will not name but he was the first person who replaced Marc as director.

He later on shared the animatic that was leaked 2 years later, i remember a lot of the criticism it has from the crew themselves and it was not great tbh. (Disclaimer, he not the person who leak the movie since it a mystery.)

Which result of the rewrites that happened in the movie, the director version of the script I describe being pretty faithful to Marc's version, just a lot more refined and improved in terms of pacing.

(Please don’t ask for the scripts of the movie, i will not share those due to certain wishes)

However the director we had who originally replaced Marc sadly stepped down from his position and now we got another director, who is actually a nice guy to work with.

Afterwards, there was a major rewrite of the movie that was going to be very different and sadly i can’t say what it is.

There were certain things that were scrapped in the animatic that did not appear in the major rewrite and it was very different from the Marc version of the movie.

For a while I remained in the project until the current director decided to find a method to clean off inactive crew members of the movie which happened around July of 2019. Through they asked if they want to stay or just leave, or having other positions involved.

Sadly the current director decided to let go of my role as audio editor for the project, I was given a 2nd chance to either get a new role or just leave.

I decided to leave, because i felt my experience in the project was not going well in my end so i rather leave then getting a new role involved.

In fact I was honestly depressed and sad that I never did much in the project.

None of the work i did came to the animatic. It was August 31st 2019 when I left

Afterwards I gave my final goodbyes and left, however a lot of things happened when I left.

Like the cancellation of the movie and the removal of the infamous minisodes (Best of Both Worlds, Tal tales).

Also the animatic being leaked when the allegations on Marc Lovallo occurred.

Honestly, I wanted this project to go forward and progress a lot, sadly it is not the case anymore.

I was pretty saddened that the movie got cancelled however I am not going to defend the unprofessional around it.

I am only sharing my experiences in the movie and sharing a bit of criticism when I was on it, now the final question is.

Did I regret being part of the Eddsworld Fan Movie? the answer is yes. All i felt was stress and depression when i was in the project, overall i rather vent about my experiences in the project. This will be the last time, i will mention the movie and i rather forget about the rather stressful times when i was in it.

#vent #eddsworld movie #eddsworld

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johannesviii · 4 years ago

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2020

You know, when I finished my latest list and realised every decade had the same pattern and that we were slowly going towards a series of great years for pop, I didn’t realise how good that year would be.

What’s at the top? Am I boringly predictable because I already said I loved that song all the way back in January 2020? Let’s find out.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. How was your 2020?

Mine was actually surprisingly good, considering. I’m lucky enough to have a job that I can partially do from home, and I was extremely paranoid from the get-go and nobody got sick under this roof so far. Turns out I’m even better at my job from home and I got permission to work from home one day per week even after the health crisis is over! My first name was also finally officially approved and I can’t tell you how happy I feel about that. I almost feel bad to have had such a good year considering the circumstances. I feel like an asshole just because I’m happy, haha.

The only frustrating part was that I was supposed to see Hatari in concert in Paris in early April which, as you can guess, was cancelled. I’m not too mad about it though, since their tour was called “Europe will crumble” and the message saying the tour was cancelled started with “since Europe is actually crumbling due to Covid-19″ and that’s hysterical.

Good or interesting albums that came out in 2020 now, let’s see.

Nightwish released Human/Nature, which was a huge letdown compared to their previous album, but I will relisten to it at some point to make sure I wasn’t just in a bad mood that day.

The Birthday Massacre released Diamonds, which might be their weakest album since their debut, but contained some real gems (I listened to The Last Goodbye on a loop, it floored me. Flashback and Enter are also very good).

The 1975 released Notes On A Conditional Form, and let’s be real, it’s a f█cking mess. You could cut half the tracks and end up with an excellent album, but as it is it’s like, yes, a collection of notes ; however there’s some truely excellent shit on it (see unelligible songs).

Thanks to a friend on a discord server I was exposed to Dorian Electra’s music and I haven’t been quite the same ever since. I’m so happy to be alive to see other enbies making such great music with an insanely good aesthetic surrounding it and asking so many interesting questions about gender. Also the arc the ‘gentleman’ character goes through over the course of the entire tracklist of the 2020 My Agenda album is absolutely hilarious, don’t @ me.

I also discovered 100 Gecs this year. Why are most of you guys saying it’s unlistenable garbage. It’s just as abrasive and over the top as industrial music is, but with none of the edginess or drama. I love it. What the hell. But yeah Tree of Clues was released this year. Good.

Speaking of industrial, in March 2020 Nine Inch Nails were like “hey remember when we released Ghosts I-IV a decade ago entirely for free and how amazing that was? Well we’re all in lockdown and bored as hell so here’s Ghosts V-VI and it’s also free. Enjoy” and I f█cking died instantly. And it’s even better than I-IV. What the hell was that year

Jonsi released Shiver. It’s strange and highly experimental. I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing I was into hyperpop this year, otherwise going from his previous material straight to this album would have been brutal.

Yadda yadda yadda After Hours by the Weeknd good yadda yadda.

I’ve joked about that already but if you had told me in 2019 that 2020 would have fires, a pandemic, riots, monoliths appearing and disappearing, and also a super good Machine Gun Kelly album, guess which part I would have found the most ridiculous. But yeah uh. Tickets to my Downfall good

So uh this year I tried to listen to some hyperpop and liked it a lot, and I also dipped my toes timidly into screamo and listened to Svalbard, who released When I Die this year, and the entire album was a very beautiful, very intricately decorated punch to the face. It sounds like God Is An Astronaut except with a shit ton of yelling. I love it. Open Wound is my favorite track on it.

But no, despite all of this, my album of the year was from a band I had never even heard about before that year, called Spanish Love Songs. The album is titled Brave Faces Everyone and it’s line after line after line of extremely relatable generational angst but yelled with complete sincerity and it’s so propulsive and energetic you can’t help but feel both exhausted and ready to fight the entire universe. I don’t know how it works, but it’s incredible. The entire album is wonderfully brutal, so it’s kind of difficult to pick my favorite songs on it, but Beachfront Property and the title track stand out.

Unelligible songs, now, and there’s, uh, quite a few of them too so I’m also gonna use bullet points. Good lord this post is gonna be long.

First, let me say I have literally no idea why Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus wasn’t a bigger hit. It’s not on the year-end US top 100 and it feels extremely wrong. Would have made it to #4 on this list otherwise.

I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.

Heaven by the late Avicii featuring Coldplay should have charted in 2019 and still didn’t chart in 2020 and that’s a real shame.

If the world was a bit less unfair, Lovesick Girls by Blackpink would have been a hit rather than the awful Ice Cream.

One day I will stop complaining about my bafflement concerning the lack of mainstream pop charts success of The 1975. Today is not that day. I just love how they keep making songs about extremely awkward relationships full of weird details, and I haven’t grown tired of that yet. So yeah If You’re Too Shy is about a guy who’s crush is asking him to get naked on Skype in his hotel room and he’s, uh, not too sure about that idea.

And Me & You Together is about a guy who never finds the right moment to tell his best friend he’s in love with her, and he manages to do so at the end and it’s cute as hell. My fave part is “I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer / It's not as weird as it appears / It's 'cause my body doesn't stop me (Stop me) / Oh, it's okay, lots of people think I'm gay / But we're friends, so it's cool, why would it not be?”. Relatable as f█ck.

And now for an international hit that should have been bigger in the US and/or in my country but wasn’t: Head & Heart by Joel Corry and MNEK.

I’ve heard Nos Célébrations by Indochine extremely often on French radio for months now so I was very surprised to see that it didn’t crack the local year-end list. What happened.

I can finally hear the appeal of Bring Me The Horizon. It took me ages. And also Death Stranding. The song Ludens isn’t in the game per say, but it’s among the ones you can pick to broadcast briefly when people drive by your constructions, and long story short it's been living rent-free in my head for months now.

Phew.

It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, which is saying something considering the kind of shit I put on some of my previous lists.

Ne Reviens Pas (Gradur et Heuss l’Enfoiré) - Heuss is a French artist that kept baffling me while making my lists for the previous years, and I was like “??? ok, that’s it then, I guess I’m getting too old to get what teenagers find funny”. This one worked for me, though. And the music video doesn’t hurt. Really dumb and really fun.

Adore You (Harry Styles) - Perfectly good little pop song, very pleasant to listen to, never outstayed its welcome for me.

Mood (24kGoldn) - This doesn’t sound like a very good relationship, my dude, but that’s still a super pleasant song.

WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion) - This song is absolutely hilarious and I will hear no argument from any of you.

Control (Zoe Wees) - Was clearly a hit here. Should have been even bigger though. What a powerful but comfy voice. If I had better taste it would be on the list.

Hot Girl Bummer (Blackbear) - I. Uh. Listen. I keep saying I have bad taste and nobody believes me. Do you believe me now. But yeah. “F█ck you, and you, and you~, I hate your friends and they hate me too” is gonna pop in my head every single time someone is being a jerk anywhere near me now. It’s been happening all year already. Someone trashed my documents at work? Someone isn’t wearing a mask in public? That guy has filled his car with rolls of toilet paper? Brain goes “F█ck you, and you, and you~”. Every. Single. Time.

Come & Go (Juice WRLD & Marshmello ) - Damn, that’s a pretty good little song. I’ve seen plenty of people saying it’s ruined by the drop, but may I remind you I’m the person who loves Blue by Eiffel 65 with all my heart. If the song was ramping up consistently until the end instead of ending like that, it would have made the list, definitely.

And now, the actual list. This one actually feels pretty solid, I genuinely like everything on it, there’s no filler here for once.

10 - The Box (Roddy Rich)

US: #3 / FR: #23

Now this is a weird case, because for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this song was so popular and I was completely neutral about it. Then, one morning in September, my mental jukebox (which always, always puts a song on a loop in my head when I wake up) decided to play it. And I was like oh wow?? I never noticed the atmosphere in that song before? It’s so great. And that hook too. Let’s listen to it.

So yeah, I don’t know what happened. It just clicked one day and everything fell into place, I guess.

9 - Alane (Wes & Robin Shulz)

US: Not on the list / FR: #93

Come on. You can’t do a remake of one of my previous #1 songs and let it chart in 2020. That’s cheating. Even with this subpar drop, I have to put it on the list, now.

I’ve already said my piece about the original, so I’m just going to send you back to my 1997 list.

8 - Kings and Queens (Ava Max)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

[BBC documentary voice] After Lady Gaga decided to make piano balads and left her musical niche vacant, Ava Max quickly took her place as the top predator pop diva. Even after Lady Gaga was re-introduced to her natural habitat in 2020, she still hasn’t fully recovered in Europe, where Ava Max still reigns supreme on the charts -

(tldr I think it’s hilarious that this isn’t on the US Billboard while Lady Gaga isn’t on the French year-end top 100)

7 - Roses (Saint Jhn & Imanbek)

US: #19 / FR: #3

What an earworm. It doesn’t even bother trying to have an intro or an outro, so it loops almost perfectly. It’s like entering a party that started long before you arrived, and it will go on long after you leave it to go back home. Kind of hypnotic in a way.

And yes, my mental jukebox was very fond of using it to wake me up this year, so this is another song that’s here almost solely because of that.

6 - Physical (Dua Lipa)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (hehehe)

“Hey I’m not that old” says the guy who’s definitely a sucker for this kind of retro throwback that was so popular this year. Oh well.

I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, though. Apart from the fact that everyone seems to have a different fave song on that album. Guess that’s quality for you.

5 - Rain on Me (Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

That is far from being Lady Gaga’s best song, but it was a joy to listen to everytime it was on the radio anyway. Also Ariana Grande has surprisingly good chemistry with Gaga! This year was full of strange duets mostly made for commercial reasons, and this one isn’t an exception, but unlike a lot of them, it really, really works.

4 - Dynamite (BTS)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

I’m still not 100% sold on k-pop even if a ton of it sounds super good, but come on. Even if some bits of this song (especially the beginning of the second chorus) sound a bit like they were made on autopilot, it still sounds just as happy and fun several months after I first heard it and I never got tired of it. That’s quality. You hear it and you can’t help but tap your feet and smile.

Actually, I’m sure there’s people somewhere that don’t smile when they hear this song. And they must be avoided at all costs.

3 - Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD)

US: #62 / FR: Not on the list

What are you doing so high on this list, old man. Why are you still here in the year 2020. I thought we left you in the previous decade. Who gave you the right.

I’m gonna tell you who did, and it’s actually Juice WRLD. Because that chorus is incredible, and like a lot of people I’m pissed off because the guy died super young and this shit shouldn’t happen to anybody. No, his early material wasn’t great, but I’m sorry I’m gonna say it again: have you heard this damn chorus? It’s suspenseful and dark, it’s got this lowkey menacing quality, it’s an earworm and a half, and it’s more convincing in like six lines than Eminem’s own flexing is in the entire song.

The beat is extremely good as well, and the flow, obviously, impressive. The weakest link is Eminem’s writing, which is as usual full of puns and weird wordplay, except here a lot of it isn’t great, and that last ultra fast part at the end is technically impressive but it also drives the song up a cliff and stops it dead in its tracks once it’s over. But frankly the lines fly by so fast it’s difficult to be too annoyed by them.

Can I sincerely put this extremely flawed song so high on my list? A better question would be “did I spend hours trying to learn how to sing this shit without choking on my own spit?”. The answer is yes. To both.

2 - Heartless (The Weeknd)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

I’ve said it on my 2015 and 2016 lists already, but just for the record I’ll say it again: it took me ages to like The Weeknd, mostly because I found most of his songs fairly boring, or disliked the lyrics, or both. Also I never really liked the general vibe of his “sexy” songs like The Hills, they felt dark but in an unpleasant creepy way. Felt like miserable hedonism, if that makes sense.

So, because I’m a person with extremely consistent and logical tastes, here’s the exact same shit he was making before, except that this time I absolutely adore it.

What is he doing differently that makes the whole After Hours album click for me whereas almost all of his previous material failed to do so? Is it the energy? Is it the reverb? Is it the fact that the narrator sounds properly unhinged and, frankly, scared to be spiralling out of control? Why are the colors so beautiful yet full of anxiety? Why is that bridge so fantastic? How can you make your voice look like a glowstick in the dark?

I give up. I have no clue. At least I’m done talking about-

Oh.

1 - Blinding Lights (The Weeknd)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (listen sometimes something’s just that good, ok)

Surprise. Or not.

Wow, look at that, Johannes has put this year’s number one pop song at number one on their personal playlist. The audacity. The edge. What a hot take.

I discovered that song when it first came out at the end of 2019 and I adored it instantly. And I was so scared it wouldn’t be a hit. Which means I’m a f█cking dumbass considering it ended up breaking all sorts of records in 2020. But what can I say, overplay can be a blessing when you love a song that much.

Like every single song I put at number one on one of my lists, I will draw this one at some point and you will understand how incredibly satisfying it is to listen to a song called Blinding Lights, talking about city lights looking blurry when you’re driving at night, while looking itself like a bunch of blurry city lights passing by super fast. Perfect in every way.

Also it sounds exactly like A-ha, and that never hurts.

See you next year! Pretty sure it will be even better music-wise.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

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superpaperclip · 4 years ago

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I Don’t Wanna Wait In Vain

My first Red White and Royal Blue fic!! Thank you to the discord who inspired me and encouraged me! Read on AO3 here.

When Alex arrived home a few hours earlier than scheduled, the last thing he expected to see was his roommate making out with some boy on their couch. Henry’s hands were tangled in his dark hair, one leg thrown over his hips. As soon as Henry caught sight of Alex in the doorway, he sprang back from the guy, pushing him away.

“Alex! I- I didn’t expect you home so soon! I- um- this is, uh, Aiden. Aiden, this is my roommate Alex.” Henry’s eyes darted between Alex and Aiden as Alex felt his face heat up.

“I’m just gonna… go to my room.” muttered Alex, and hurried past the couch. Shutting the door a little too hard, he sank to the ground and let his head fall back with a thump. Why was his heart racing? Why was there a lump in his throat and a knot in his stomach? He knew Henry was gay, and he didn’t have a problem with it. At least, he didn’t think he did. He certainly didn’t have a problem with Liam or his boyfriend Spencer. He didn’t have a problem with the LGBT people in his classes. So why did he have a problem with Henry?

He heard voices rising in volume on the other side of the door, one that he recognized as Henry’s, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. Eventually, he heard the front door slam and Henry groan. There was a knock on Alex’s door.

“Hey, uhm, Aiden is gone if you wanna… y’know… come out.” Alex nodded, before realizing Henry couldn’t see him. Why did he feel like his chest was lighter and a weight was lifted off his shoulders? He had too many questions and not enough answers, so he decided to do what he always did when he needed a distraction- throw himself into his work. Opening his laptop and spreading out his books and papers, he started on an essay.

He was startled out of his concentration by another knock on his door and Henry informing him that it was dinnertime. A quick glance at the clock showed that it was almost 6:30. Alex finished the paragraph he was typing and closed his laptop. Leaving his room, he joined Henry on their couch, tucking one foot under his other leg. The TV was quietly playing in the background, some cooking show that Alex didn’t care for. His mind was cloudy and unfocused, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Henry kissing some guy on their couch.

“So. Who was that?” Alex asks.

“Aiden? He’s… no one.”

“No one? Is that why you were sucking face with him on our couch?” Alex’s voice had a bit more vitriol than he intended. Still, he didn’t back down, even when he saw Henry cringe.

“Erm… yes. He was… no one. Really, Alex, just let it go.” For some reason, that just made Alex angrier.

“Let it go? I’d rather not come home and see that. Can you at least do it in your room?”

“That's what we were planning to do. Sorry for not being able to predict that you would get home early!” That just clouded Alex’s thoughts more. In the back of his mind, he registered sharp points of pain in his shin. Looking down, he saw he had been digging his nails into his leg, most likely leaving crescent-shaped marks.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until the doorbell rang, and Alex went to get the pizza. When he returned, Henry had put on A New Hope. Alex forced himself to focus on the movie and not the thick tension between them as they ate their dinner. They were both uncharacteristically quiet, offering no comments or quips.

***

The silence and tension continued for a week, Henry bringing home various men and Alex trying in vain to ignore it. Eventually, Alex had enough. He knew he couldn’t fix this himself. He needed help. After laying in his bed for hours and thinking of how badly he fucked things up with Henry, he rolled over and grabbed his phone, texting Nora before he could talk himself out of it.

>Skype lunch this weekend? I need to talk to you.

>Only if you’re buying.

Can June come?

>Sure.

***

That Sunday, Alex eats lunch in his room instead of on the couch like usual. After taking a bite of his burger, he plugs in his headphones and opens skype on his laptop, calling Nora. After two rings she picks up. Straight to the point, Nora asks what’s bothering him. Sighing, Alex explains his problem.

“So Henry and I have been roommates for years, right, and I’ve know he’s gay the whole time. But last week, I got home early and he was making out with some guy on the couch. And then I realized that he’s never actually told me about any of his crushes or boyfriends, so I told him he’s welcome to talk about that stuff with me, and he said he didn’t have a love life and that the guys he’s brought over don’t actually mean anything. I don’t know what’s happening.”

Nora and June laugh so hard Alex has to rip his headphones off. Faintly, he can make out the words ‘Alex’ and ‘idiot’, and then more laughter. It takes several minutes for both of them to calm down, during which Alex huffs at them to stop multiple times. It only makes them laugh harder. Eventually, Nora is the first to speak.

“Alright, let’s go back to the guy on the couch. What happened there? Like, walk us through what happened when you walked in.” Alex frowns, but explains the events from when he walked into the apartment that day. That just prompted another bout of laughter from June and Nora. After sharing a look with Nora, June was the first to talk.

“Alex, what you’re describing- the lump in your throat, your stomach churning, your heart racing- are jealousy. You’re fucking jealous!” Nora and June smirked at each other, then looked expectantly at Alex.

“What do I have to be jealous of? I don’t want to kiss Aiden. I don’t even know him.” At that, the women groaned in unison.

“You’re jealous of Aiden, not Henry. Come on, you’ve wanted to kiss him practically since you saw him. And he wants to kiss you too.” Nora states matter-of-factly.

“Hold on. Back up. I don’t like Henry, and he doesn’t like me, at least not like that. We’re just friends. And I’m straight.” But Alex’s voice wavered, his mind already running through his and Henry’s relationship. The day they met and how Alex’s first thought was that his new roommate was very handsome, the light feeling in his chest when Henry laughs at a joke he told, and the fire in his gut when he saw Henry kissing Aiden. Then his mind wandered to his high school years- trying not to look at other guys in the locker room, thinking about large hands and wide shoulders when he was in the shower, and whatever went on between him and Liam. At the thought of Liam, Alex quickly ended the call and shut his laptop. He had a lot to think about.

***

Alex didn't pay attention to anything that afternoon, nor did he get any sleep that night. He had been too wired to fall asleep, wandering through his memories and picking out the moments that, in retrospect, he should’ve recognized as not being very straight. By the time the thin rays of dawn were filtering through his curtains, he had come up with a list.

One. He’s not as straight as he thought he was.

Two. He’s attracted to Henry, and probably has been since they moved in together.

Three. He really wants to kiss Henry.

Four. He can’t stand seeing Henry kiss other people.

Five. According to Nora, Henry also likes him.

Now he just has to figure out what to do with that information. He went through his day on autopilot, not retaining any information from his classes. His professors droned on about laws and their applications, but Alex’s mind was on Henry. Henry’s soft blond hair, Henry’s bright blue eyes, the way Henry gets excited when he talks about literature or LGBT history. His strong hands, his laugh, the way he comes out of his shell when they’re together.

When he pushed the door of the apartment open that afternoon, Henry was once again on their couch, this time curled up with a book against the armrest. Something by Jane Austen, Alex guesses. Steeling his nerves, he sits on the other side of the couch and clears his throat. Wordlessly, Henry looks up from his book and raises an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been an asshole lately.” Alex apologizes, hoping he looks as guilty as he feels. Thankfully, Henry closes the book and puts it down.

“Frankly, yeah, you have.”

“Yeah, um, I was because I was… jealous.” Multiple emotions flashed across Henry’s face, including something Alex couldn’t identify, before he schooled his features again.

“What do you have to be jealous of? You could get girls if you wanted. You tell me about all the girls who hit on you. I’m sure any one of them would be happy to sleep with you.”

“No, I’m…” Alex sighed, trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to. “I'm not jealous of you for how much you, ahem, get. I’m jealous… of Aiden. And… everyone else you bring home.” He could see Henry trying to wrap his mind around Alex’s confession.

“I, um, talked to Nora and June about me being an asshole, and they helped me realize that it was… jealousy. I thought about it, and I’m not as straight as I thought.” Henry’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“So… what are you trying to tell me?” Alex groaned and put his head in his hands. This was harder than he thought it would be. Then again, he had never confessed his love to his roommate after realizing he’s not straight.

“I’m bisexual and I like you. As more than a friend.” Alex said in one breath. As soon as he said the last word, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Slowly, he looked up and saw Henry was staring at him, his eyes wide.

“You’re- I- What? Wait, really? I- I didn’t-”

“So, um, I get it if you’re not into me like that, but I just needed to get it off my chest.” Alex rubbed the back of his neck, self conscious of Henry’s eyes on him.

“Are you really that thick? I’ve been flirting with you since we met. I just had no hope because, y’know, you’re straight. Or at least, I thought you were.” A blush spread across Henry’s face, reaching from his cheeks to the tips of his ears.

“So, what was Aiden?”

“A pathetic attempt to get over you. Really, he was no one.” Alex let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. They sat in silence, Henry shifting in his seat and Alex running his finger along the key around his neck. Alex was the first to speak.

“So what are we now? I mean, I’d like to, y’know, be with you…”

“I want that too!” Henry quickly interjected. Alex’s heart skipped a beat at the thought of dating Henry, of kissing him, of doing other things with him.

“So, I guess we can just, like, see where this goes?”

“Yeah, I think that would be best.” As soon as the words left Henry’s mouth, Alex realized how close they were. They had slowly been moving towards each other, and now they were almost touching. If he just leaned forward a bit, Alex realized with a start, he could press their lips together.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked breathlessly. Henry nodded. Their lips met, and it was perfect.

#it took me a solid month to write this #but w/e #rwrb #rwarb #red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #henry fox #firstprince #meg writes

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #403

“ashes to ashes, watch me disappear”

If given the opportunity, would you like to star in a musical? Definitely not. I don't like musicals. Name one person you’d take a bullet for: There's honestly a lot, but Mom immediately came to mind. Any posters of a band on your bedroom wall? Yeah: Metallica and Marilyn Manson currently. I want lots more, especially an Ozzy one. Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate? I don't believe in soulmates. Do you share your bedroom with anyone? No, unless you include my cat and snake. Is your favorite color yellow? No, it's actually one of my least favorites. Were you born in a hospital? I was. Do you know the name of the person that delivered you? No, but Mom does. I think he delivered me and my two sisters, and I know Mom has seen him since for other reasons. Was your birth recorded? God no. Good call, Mom. Did you eat a peach this week? Would you believe me if I told you I had a small bit of peach pie for my sister's birthday? For some reason, I just really wanted to try some. It was okay, but the aftertaste sucked. Are you leaving the house tomorrow? Yes, for TMS therapy. Every weekday. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? I honestly do. If you could get free vocal lessons would you take them? Probably not. I don't like singing in front of anyone, and it's not like I wanna get anywhere with my singing, so. Is your mother diabetic? She is. Are you? No. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. Who do you stalk the most through Facebook? Nobody. Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No. What is your main responsibility each day? Be sure to take my medications. Do you feel like you fulfill those responsibilities? Yeah. There are rare mornings where I forget, but I almost always remember. I don't fw skipping out on meds that keep my mental health stable. When was the last time you used spray paint? Good question. Do you know the middle name of the last person you kissed? Yep. Who is the friendliest person you know? My mom, probably. Something that annoys you about summer: THE HEAT. THE HUMIDITY. UGH. Something that annoys you about winter: Hm. That's hard to say, given I love winter. I guess the fact it doesn't snow enough here. Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? Side-by-side. If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? Nope. Have you ever cried in a movie theater? Not sobbed or anything, but I've definitely teared up and gotten the sniffles because of multiple movies. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? No. Have you ever seriously pretended to be clinically insane? I didn't need to pretend; I'm pretty damn sure I was for a while. Might I add that it's EXTREMELY inconsiderate to pretend you're insane, btw. Insanity is not "cool." It's not "funny." It's not "edgy." It's a serious, confusing, heart-wrenching issue that can ruin lives. Do you know anyone with a stutter? Yes, myself included when I'm even mildly nervous. And sometimes just randomly. With a lisp? I don't believe so. What was the last board game you played? The Disney version of "Pretty Pretty Princess" w/ my niece and even my nephew, even though his sexist-ass dad didn't want him to. Like let your kid have some fun with his sister and aunt, goddamn. They had a blast. It was Aubree's birthday present from me, so I am SO glad she loved it. Did you win? Ha ha, no, I always let Aubree or Ryder win. I came super close once, but I let the kids bend the rules a bit. They don't like losing, and even though they definitely need to understand that just happens and is totally fine for it to, I wasn't about to be the one to make them sad about it. When was the last time you tried to speak with an accent? OH MY LAAAAAWWWWWWD. Also at Aubree's b-day party, at one point, I spoke in a snobbish British accent while I was winning at the aforementioned game. Ryder asked, "Why are you speaking Spanish?", and I fuckin DIED. Have you ever made up a word before? Yeah, I know at least a few instances for fantasy animals in writing. When was the last time you went to a museum? A couple summers ago when my brother and his son visited, we went to a science museum. My nephew was sooooo into it. Do you have a nice yard? If so, do you spend a lot of time outside in it? If not, where do you go when you want to relax outdoors on nice days? Our front and back yards are both small and honestly very boring. The grass is a pretty green, but that's the only nice thing about it. I don't go to sit outside here on any day. Do your parents enjoy any of the things that you enjoy? Do you bond over these things? My parents and I have very similar music tastes, so there's that. I also didn't know for the longest time that Mom likes to write, which I sure as hell do, too! She doesn't really write anymore though, and she's self-conscious of it anyway, like I am. She and I also love a lot of the same shows. What is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating? I think The Incredibles 2. I aaaalways wanted to know what happened after the end of the first film. Do you have any ideas for a story or movie you’re planning to write or you’d write if you had the time/had the talent? Please share a synopsis! I genuinely think some RP I've written is series-worthy, but I don't feel like re-writing the YEARS of RP into a book format, and I sincerely worry that the ridiculously dark parts could inspire people like serial killers and cause A LOT of controversy, crime-blaming, and just general hate. I don't want to be involved in that. What is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “That book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)? Compliment my Markiplier tattoo, obviously knowing it's a tribute to him, and we're essentially besties. Is there a person in your life (maybe barely) that you feel in constant competition with (even just in your imagination)? Maybe you feel they are consistently outshining you? Ugh... there's a local photographer that's much more successful than I am that I admittedly am very envious of. I swear to whatever god you may believe in that I mean it from a modest perspective, I really, really do, but I genuinely think my skills surpasses hers, and she's only more prevalent because photography REALLY is about who you know. She's talented, yes, but like... come on. If you are single, even if you are normally happily single, are there certain specific things you witness that make you wish you were in a relationship (e.g., people getting engaged)? I mean yeah. I miss cuddling, holding hands, kissing, just being cute together, and especially people getting engaged or having kids. It's such a trigger to me. Once upon a time, that's all I wanted with Jason. I wanted to be that beautiful couple that got married and had two or three loved-beyond-words children, but then he left so abruptly, and I feel like it was so brutally robbed from me. I don't want kids anymore like at all, but the point still stands that I felt like my dreams were just ripped away. Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? I use "Ozzkat" just about everywhere. Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? OHHHHHHHHHH YEAH. There have been a couple days or so where I was totally glued to looking up various tattoo designs, bingeing let's plays or conspiracy theory videos, etc. etc. If you ever think about getting married, what are some aspects of the wedding that you would like to see in a non-traditional manner (e.g., a different color dress or “partners” over “husband” and “wife”)? I WILL NOT get married in a church, first of all. I'm also not having the traditional vows, and I probably won't wear a white dress, but instead black. Salt & vinegar, barbecue, sour cream & onion, or cheddar? Ohhhh, I like all those options but barbecue. I think I've gotta go with sour cream & onion, though. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? A D O R A B L E ! ! ! I think they're ordinarily geeky, but I mean, geeky is cute in my world. :^) Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? Angels, no. Spirits/ghosts, 100%. I don't exactly believe in demons, per se, but I do question if evil spirits can possess someone. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? I've seen The Notebook numerous times. Name three countries you want to visit; why those three? South Africa to interact with meerkats at the KMP, somewhere up in Canada to see the Northern Lights, and Germany just because, really. I took German for four semesters, and the culture and all just interests me. Do you have a good luck charm? No, considering I don't believe they do jack. Do you use Skype to talk to your friends? Only Sara. Now that I have Discord semi-figured out now though, we'll probably use that for voice chatting. Are you allergic to any animals? I might be allergic to dogs. Do you usually spend your weekends out, or at home? I'm like... always at home. Do you think it’s wrong for people to say "retard/retarded" as an insult? Absofuckinglutely. Don't pull that shit when I'm around. Have you ever had to go to the police department? No. Have you ever lived through a hurricane? Plenty. Have you ever had a home-grown tomato? Yes, from my old friend's garden. We'd have delicious tomato, mayo, and bacon sandwiches. The only instance where I've enjoyed tomatoes. Have you ever held a real gun? The former friend I mentioned just before, her husband always carried a gun, and he just needed me to hold it for a sec for some reason I don't recall. I hated the feeling. Would you rather wear Converse or Vans? I like both, but I think I prefer Converse. Have you ever been called bipolar? Yes, because I clinically am. Have you ever made fun of a handicapped person? FUCK no. And like the "retarded" thing, don't you fucking DARE to do this in front of me. I WILL deck the shit out of you. Do you think it’s okay to have sex before marriage? Sure, as long as you're being safe and are very thorough in communication. Do you like to watch old sitcoms? I don't really watch TV as I say in like every survey it seems, but I do enjoy some old sitcoms I grew up watching with my mom, like The Nanny, The Golden Girls, The Munsters, etc. If asked, could you run a mile nonstop right now? Being completely serious, I don't even know if I CAN physically run right now. My legs are so incredibly weak, and I'm humiliatingly close to what my heaviest weight was back in 2016, so I can almost guarantee my knees would crumple if I tried. Do you wear those rubber wristbands? I used to. I don't really like bracelets nowadays. If a necklace/ring gives you green marks, do you still wear it? Nope. Have you ever driven an electric car? No. When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with? Uhhhh idk. What breed was the last dog you saw? A fucking GOLIATH of a lab. I shit you not when I say my sister's roommate's dog Hudson is the size of a goddamn bear. How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): I wanna say they were together at the very least 20 years. What has been your most epic cooking failure? I once accidentally put something (I don't remember what) in the microwave for around 45 minutes I believe, and I walked away and completely forgot about it. I remembered a long while later, and safe to say, it wasn't edible, whatever it was, lmao. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? No, but that'd be cool. Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively? No. How long has it been since your last breakup? Somewhere around two years ago? My memory is so garbage nowadays. Can you concentrate well while listening to music, or do you find it distracting? It's distracting, usually. What’s something you’ve been struggling with lately? I've been pretty bad about drinking too much soda lately. :/

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''under the graveyard'' by ozzy osbourne

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