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willowsnook · 8 months ago

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Right Place, Right Time (pt. 1) Lando Norris

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4

new series featuring lando x american reader who works for Monster. This will be a slow burn!!!!!!! patience

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When performance review time came around at work you were disappointed to hear that there weren't going to be any raises this time around. As a top performer on the marketing team you were disappointed but it had been a tough year. As a consolation prize, your manager had put your name in the hat to win a trip to the Dutch Grand Prix which you thought was kind of random but your company was a McLaren sponsor and it was all expenses paid so whatever. You kind of followed F1 so when you got the email that you had won you were excited. Even more excited that it was not going to be 90 degrees outside like it currently was in Texas.

You landed in Zandvoort on Thursday night and were up bright and early on Friday to get the whole tour and all. You had never been to a race so it was pretty cool and you liked getting to walk around the paddock looking at all the other teams stuff. You snapped a million of selfies to send back to your sister who you knew was foaming at the mouth in jealousy.

You didn't really care about watching the practices so around 3 you headed back to McLaren to find your stuff and go. As you were turning the corner in a hallway you ran right smack into someone else causing you to drop your phone.

"Omg I'm so sorry," you said reaching down to pick it up. When you stood up you were face to face with Lando Norris, one of the McLaren drivers. He looked sad, like really sad. Like the kind of sad you would be if someone stole your dog.

"Are you good dude?" You asked unsure. He gave you a weak smile mumbling something out, his voice cracking.

"Hey hey it's okay," you soothed putting your hand on his arm. "it's only practice ya know." You tried to joke and he met your eyes with his own watery ones.

"It's okay," he said. "Just a bad day, are you looking for someone or something?" You nodded.

"Yeah I need my bag but honestly I'm kind of lost in here," you said.

"It's probably in hospitality, I can walk you there?" He offered and you smiled.

"That would be great," you said following him the way he came from. You walked in silence and you were trying to rack your brain on anything you knew about this guy. You remembered seeing some shit on twitter about him before summer break and a lot of not nice things.

"So what brings you to Zandvoort?" He asked, breaking the silence.

"I work for Monster Energy, and I won a raffle," you said and he let out a laugh.

"You must be a big F1 fan then?" He asked and you shook your head.

"Not really, I watch the races but I just wanted a vacation."

Someone was walking out of hospitality as you were walking in and stopped to talk to Lando.

"We need to talk about today," they said sternly. "Find me later."

You felt Lando deflate next to you but he nodded and guided you in the room. No one else was in there and you quickly grabbed your bag.

"Well there you ar-"

"Why do you like racing?" You interrupted him and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Uhh.. I don't know," he said and you waited. "I've always been in love with cars and the feeling I get. It's like everything else fades away and it's just me."

"Do you still feel that way?" You asked and he nodded.

"For the most part, the pressure and the things said online get loud though," he said quietly.

"Can I be honest with you?" You asked and he nodded.

"I'll never know what it's like to be in your position," you started. "But these people online don't know you. Yes they know the you that your PR team puts out and what you post but they don't know your character. They don't know who you are inside and they probably never will. But you have people here that do know you. People that do care about you and want you to succeed. Drown out the noise with them because those are the people that matter."

He stared at you not saying anything and you started to get the itch of feeling awkward and then to make it worse he quickly looked away and swiped at his eyes.

"Oh my god I made you cry," you panicked. "I'm so sorry I overstepped I don't know you."

He let out a little laugh looking back at you with red rimmed eyes.

"It's a good thing," he said. "It's hard for me to remember sometimes and it's nice to be seen as a human by someone."

You smiled before holding up your bag.

"Well I got this, so I'm going to go but good luck tomorrow," you said.

"Thank you," he replied. "You never told me your name?"

"Y/n," you said holding out your hand and he shook it. "See ya around."

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You skipped out on the qualifying sessions on Saturday to hang out and relax in Zandvoort but you were really excited for Sunday. You got the the paddock really early and made a beeline for hospitality to get a much needed coffee. As you were waiting for it to finish pouring you heard someone speak next to you.

"I love those pants, where did you get them from?"

You turned around to see a girl maybe a couple years younger than you with long brown hair wearing a creme top and jeans. You looked down at your own dark jeans that fitted you perfectly if you do say so yourself.

"Thank you!" You said smiling. "They are from Abercrombie's curve line."

"Ahh nice," she said moving to start her own coffee.

"Yeah I spend too much money there," you said.

"I never really got into it," she said.

"I wasn't as a kid because they hated fat people back then but thank god for change," I joked and she let out a loud laugh.

"I'm Lily," she said and you introduced yourself back. "Visiting from the US?"

"Yeah, I won a work raffle so here I am," you said and she nodded.

"Are you watching from the garage?" She asked and you shook your head.

"I'm supposed to but I really want to be in the stands so I think I'm going to sneak in."

Her eyes widened in surprise.

"You wouldn't want to watch from down here?" She asked confused.

"No all the real action is out there with all the other fans," you told her. "Have you never sat there?"

She shook her head.

"Well if you're interested in joining me just let me know!" You offered before waving goodbye.

You spent the next hour wandering the paddock soaking in the atmosphere. About 30 minutes before the race starts you see Lily coming up to you with a burly guy.

"I think I am going to join you," she said. "But he has to come too so that nothing happens."

"Awesome," you say and she smiles. You two start walking towards the stands talking the whole way but are intercepted by a McLaren driver.

"Where are you going?" He asks Lily, looking confused.

"We are watching from the stands," she said pulling him in for a hug. He kisses her but looks worried.

"But why?"

"Because it's the full experience Osc," she said and he looked towards the bodyguard who shrugged. "This is y/n by the way, she works for Monster."

A look of realization washes over his face and he reaches out to shake your hand.

"You talked to Lando yesterday?" He asked and you nodded.

"Briefly yeah," you replied quizzingly.

"Hmm," he said and Lily looked at you confused. "Well I have to go but be safe and I'll see you after."

He left the two of you to get back to walking.

"So you met Lando?" She asked.

"Yeah I ran into him and gave him a little pep talk." This made her laugh.

"A pep talk? Do you know him?" She asked looking at you with amusement.

"No, he was just giving off really sad energy," you said truthfully and she sighed.

"Yeah he's going through a hard time."

You nodded. The bodyguard led you two to a row that had clearly been predetermined and motioned for you to file in.

"Isn't this exciting?" You asked taking it all in. The stands were electric.

"It is pretty cool," she said, here nerves easing.

You both were disappointed to see Lando lose his place at the start but amazed after lap 18. The middle was kind of boring except for when Oscar would come around so you and Lily spent the time getting to know each other. You told her about your life in Texas and she told you about life as a WAG. She gave you her number and made you promise to text her especially for the Austin GP. At the end of the race you both screamed like crazy when Lando crossed the link and made your way down to the podium area. It was very cool getting to see it in person.

You walked back to the garage with Lily and said your goodbyes as she went to find Oscar. As you were getting ready to head out you saw Lando across the garage and you gave him a big thumbs up. He laughed and smiled returning the sign.

Your flight was early the next morning so you headed back to your hotel to get ready to go back to real life.

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader

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schlatt-love-bot · 4 months ago

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yuck! - schlatt x reader

now listening: yuck - charli xcx 0:01❍─────── 2:19 ↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺

[part one (currently reading), part 1.5, part two, part three]

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Schlatt was never fond of “love,” the idea of falling in love or being in love with another person quite literally made him feel sick to his stomach. He didn’t like the commitment—it upheld a standard within his mind that he felt he would never be able to reach, like he wasn’t a good enough person to be ‘boyfriend’ material. Thinking about the pressure of a relationship, needing to be a support for another person other than himself, the planning of dates, the pressure to get married…it had put his stomach in knots regularly. He did, however, crave the physical aspects of being in love, the tender touches, light kisses…especially the sex aspect of it all. That’s how he got himself wrapped up in hookup culture, needing a sexual release without the expectation of flowers and dinner afterwards.

When he was young and made this decision, he didn’t really care who he was hooking up with, his numbers weren’t that big on YouTube quite yet, and so he wasn’t really afraid of a subscriber meeting him off Tinder or Bumble and trying to expose him for his personal life online. As his numbers grew, though, his anxiety about being exposed as a one night stand man began to go through the roof. That’s where you enter the picture. You and Schlatt met each other during a particularly boring elective class you both needed to take to get your degrees in college, being partnered for a group project where you learned you both had the same outlook on the class and had similar hobbies. Having met Schlatt during his brief college days, you knew of his commitment issues and never judged him for his one night stand escapades. Schlatt appreciated the fact that you respected him and his lifestyle choices, most people (especially his mother) never understood why he couldn’t find it in himself to settle down. You, however, understood the inner fear he felt towards love and relationships, and you got why he relied so heavily on casual flings to meet his needs and desires.

When he started making it big as a streamer and on YouTube, it just so happened to line up with a time in your life when you became single, after a two-year long relationship you thought had good prospects of being together forever. Distraught, you came to Schlatt, who told you he knew that relationships were a bad idea, and that he tried to warn you about all that before you committed to that “dickwad”.

“See, this is what’m talking about! Relationships are so fucking stupid…now you’re sittin’ ‘ere sobbing on my couch, for what?” He said, gesturing a hand towards you before bringing his glass of whisky up to his lips, rolling his eyes as he took a sip. You were laying on his couch, tears slowly rolling down your cheeks, glaring at him as you knew he knew you came over for comfort, not judgement.

“Jesus…shut up, dude! I get you’re not into all that stuff…but I thought we had something real. He seemed so genuine…” You croaked, throwing a pillow at Schlatt as he raised his hands to defend himself.

“Yeah, yeah…he was a real genuine guy..especially when he was genuinely between that other chick’s legs…” he laughed, picking up the pillow to place it back beside you, as he leaned down to wipe the tears from your cheeks. You huffed, crossing your arms as you looked away from him.

“Not. Funny.”

“I know it’s not. It’s seriously fucked up.” He said, continuing to wipe away the tears that came, rubbing small circles through your hair in an attempt to calm you down. “I told you, you should just do what I do. There’s no pressure..”

He left it at that, letting you ever so slowly get over your ex with his care and support. The entire time, though, you thought about what he had mentioned—to partake in his lifestyle, how there was no pressure. Soon enough, he came to you with his own proposition.

“Listen…you don’t have to say yes. I know we’re friends, and I don’t want this to twist that all up…but…I can’t keep seeing randos on these dating apps…the last one started talkin’ to me about L’Manberg after I came on her stomach…” he said, his hand snaking around to his neck as he looked down at the floor, hearing you chuckle at his experiences. “Are you..asking me to be your hookup partner?”

“If that’s whatcha wanna call it, toots…”

“No strings attached, right? Just…meeting each other’s physical needs?” You asked, contemplating the idea in your mind. You would admit, you had always wondered how Schlatt was in bed, with the amount of times he had gone out and slept with someone, coming back to you with new stories of positions and other levels of spice you had never considered taking into the bedroom ever before. Not to mention, he wasn’t a bad looking guy, either. There was always a small voice in the back of your head telling you that he was attractive, and that you could change his ways. Plus…you needed your own distraction and to have your needs met while you got over your ex, so what better way than doing that with your good friend, Schlatt?

“Exactly. We still remain good friends…but when we have needs…we meet them, together.” He said, laying out an exact plan that would include rules and consent.

“Oh, and of course. Not falling in love. Sorry, sweetcheeks, I’m not gonna be interested.” He laughed, writing down the last rule on this makeshift contract he began writing before scribbling his name at the bottom.

“Of course…of course. Are you seriously making me sign this thing? It means nothing, legally…” You laughed, picking up the pen he slowly pushed towards you.

“Yeah, I mean it’s not gonna legally mean anything, but it’ll show us if things get…tricky…that we started things with the same intentions, right?” He had no idea why he felt the need to draft up this contract of sorts—he was firm in his belief that he would never, genuinely fall in love with someone, but there was a fear about this in the back of his mind. He had himself convinced that it would be you falling for him and ruining this whole ordeal.

“I guess you’re right…” You said, your voice quiet as you scribbled your name on the bottom of the paper, before meeting his gaze.

“So…when did you wanna start all this?”

“Hmm, no moment quite like now, right, toots?” He laughed, scooting closer to you as he placed a hand on your cheek, “If that’s alright with you, of course…”

His voice trailed off as you let out a giggle, rolling your eyes. You leaned in, kissing him on the lips, leaving him shocked that you initiated without hesitation.

That was about 2 years ago now, and since then you and Schlatt had come nearly inseparable. The contract still stood—neither of you were to have feelings for one another, but were to support one another platonically other than in the bedroom. The only recent amendment to the contract was when Schlatt decided that the two of you should move in together, so that your hookups could be done on a more frequent basis, as it’s what he “needed.” You were already on the hunt for a new place to live, your old apartment becoming too expensive to live on your own in, so you agreed.

As time went on, you felt yourself wanting more. Wanting the simple, quiet moments with Schlatt something more than just a fuck buddy. Wishing that when you were in the kitchen cooking dinner that Schlatt would walk by, wrap his arms around your waist, and whisper something nice in your ear. Instead, you were met with the occasional slap on the ass, and a joke about how you’d make a nice housewife, but not for him.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do when you find a husband, toots.” He would always joke, showing you that he knew you needed something more, something concrete and committed, but also communicating that he knew he wasn’t capable of providing you with those experiences.

You hit a point where you couldn’t take it anymore, though, taking matters in your own hands. You knew the root of the problem was internal fear Schlatt felt, that he wasn’t a good enough person to be able to be committed to someone, and that he needed to improve himself before being able to commit to anyone. He had gotten so used to his hookup lifestyle, though, he felt no pressure to “improve himself” like he had explained to you years ago, though, and so you knew you needed to start adding that pressure on him.

“Flowers? Who bought you those?” He said, seeing an arrangement in a vase on the kitchen counter as you were making something at the stove.

“Oh, no one bought me those. I bought those for you.” You said, nonchalantly, putting down the spoon you were using to look over at his reaction. One of his eyebrows began to raise, as he inspected the flowers once more.

“Respectfully, I don’t need any flowers, sweetheart, but I appreciate the sentiment. What’s with them?” You shrugged your shoulders, leaning against the stove with crossed arms.

“No particular reason…just saw ‘em at the store and thought of you. That’s all.” You say, seeing a slight pink tint come across his cheeks. You could tell the gears in his brain were turning, he was trying to think of a logical, platonic reason for why you would do this, but he wasn’t able to come up with one. You returned your focus to the stove, your pot nearly boiling over now from being neglected.

“Well…thanks, sweetcheeks. Guess ‘m gonna have to repay you for these later, hmm?” He growled, slapping your bottom before going into the fridge to pull out a drink, disappearing back into his office. You sighed, knowing you were going to have to try harder.

“C’mon, don’t you think it would be fun? We live by the mountains, afterall…”

“Stargazing? The fuck do I look like…your boyfriend?” He scoffed, pushing around the pasta you made on his plate, as you sighed, putting your head in your hands.

“No! God, you’re taking it out of context,” you sighed, shaking your head, “Friends do this type of shit, too, idiot. I just thought it would be nice to get away for a weekend, away from your 17,000 different channels and business ventures, let you clear your head for a day or two before coming back to the chaos.”

He began to think silently, leaving you hanging. He was trying to figure out your motive, slowly over the last few months he had noticed your attempts to break down his tough, outer shell, trying to get under his skin and grow closer to him. First, he thought you were trying to be a better friend, but now the line between friend and lover was getting blurred, and the more he thought about it, the sicker he began to feel. He was confused, himself, never quite feeling the way he felt about you with any other person before, none of the women he would see quite regularly made him feel this way, either. When he was around you, he felt…domestic. An urge to protect you, keep you safe, and he had no real clue as to why. The feeling in his chest as of late was so foreign, he often wondered if something was seriously wrong with him—he mentioned in passing the other day that he thought he needed to see a doctor, something about having a heart arrhythmia or something. Was it you blurring this line, or was he unconsciously blurring it himself? The idea made him sweat, and so he once again swallowed all the thoughts and tried his best to press forward.

“Mmm, well..when you put it that way…it does sound kind of nice.” He refused to look up and make eye contact with you as he confirmed plans. You smirked to yourself, feeling as though your intentions were finally setting on him, and that soon enough you could, maybe, call him yours for real.

“Good, cause I already booked a stay at a nice cabin, ‘bout 15 minutes from here. Go pack your bags and let’s get going!” You say, clapping your hands together excitedly, your things already packed since you were going, regardless of his decision. He began to laugh, shaking his head as he stood up, heading to his room.

“What the fuck is up with them…” he muttered under his breath, going through his dressers to find a few t-shirts to throw in his bag.

“Really tryna ruin a good fuckin’ thing, aren’t they…” he couldn’t help himself from feeling a bit angry. He was slowly beginning to realize that you were wanting more, you were getting yourself attached to him not only physically, but emotionally as well, and that you were trying to coax him into believing he was becoming emotionally invested in you as well. It was confusing, to say the least, because on one hand he truly felt as though he was turning a new, uncomfortable leaf—he found himself caring about you, how your day was, how you were feeling, and wanting to connect with you on a level he hadn’t ever connected with someone before, but at the same time he was so stuck in his ways that he didn’t want to think about you as anything more than friends with benefits. His confusion has now shifted to anger, anger that you were trying to get more out of this than he was willing to give, and anger at himself that he was even considering changing his ways for someone other than himself. He finally got his bag all packed, trying to think of this little get away as a break from work, rather than stressing himself out over his feelings and your own.

He rejoined you in the living room, seeing you checking your phone, keys in hand and your own bag placed on the ground at your feet. You hadn’t noticed him standing there quite yet, rather engrossed in something you were reading on your phone. It was at that moment Schlatt realized his heartbeat was getting quicker once again, feeling butterflies beginning to stir within his stomach.

Ugh, he thought to himself, I feel like I’m going to be sick…what the fuck is happening to me?

Almost as if you could hear his inner dialogue, you looked up from your phone, smiling at him standing there looking dumbfounded with his bag in his hands. You slid your phone in your back pocket as you picked up your own bag.

“Ready to go? Let’s enjoy this weekend, hmm?”

“Let’s get this show on the road…” his voice droned on, trying his best to make it seem as though he wasn’t looking forward to spending a weekend alone with you, not having to worry about anything else.

Night began to paint the sky full of stars, as Schlatt fed the woodfire heater inside the cabin to keep you both warm overnight. You sat, wrapped loosely in a blanket on the couch watching him, a mug of hot chocolate sitting nicely in your hands. Since arriving at the cabin, you both already had a few rounds of slow fucking on almost every surface you could find available inside. It was an attempt in Schlatt’s mind to solidify that the only connect you two shared was sexual, not romantic in any way, but after the last round when you glanced up at him with a twinkle in your eye, he began to think it was game over—something in his perspective was shifting. You could tell he was working through something internally, usually after a round he would be a gentleman and help clean you up, make sure you’re comfortable before going back to whatever it was he was doing before, but after your last round, he stared you in the eyes for what felt like forever, his eyes widened before he shook his head, grumbling something about feeling disgusted, leaving you alone on the bed you had finally made your way to in the end. You sighed, running your hands through your hair, unsure of whether or not this trip away was going to work or end up in the way you were anticipating in your mind. With the way he was acting, you’d think you did something seriously sinister to him, and he wanted to get away from you forever. Getting yourself cleaned up, you now found yourself on the couch watching him from afar.

He finally was satisfied with how the fire was going, enjoying the sounds of the crackling wood in the somewhat uncomfortable silence he had created between the two of you. He turned around to see you comfortably watching him, wondering what his next move was going to be.

“You mentioned stargazing, didn’t ya?” He said, sitting gently next to you, afraid if he came on too strong he might say something he regretted, or you would do something that would solidify the change he was terrified of.

“Mhm, wasn’t sure if you remembered, honestly…” your voice trailed off, sounding a bit hurt from having your pride bruised back in the bedroom. Him leaving you like that filled you with doubt—maybe he didn’t want to be more than friends with benefits, afterall, and you’ve just been living in a big bubble of delusion.

“Of course I remembered…c’mon now.” He said, standing up as he gestured a hand to you, offering to pull you up from the couch. You placed your mug to the side, reaching up to grab his hand and stand up yourself. Silently, you followed him as you both adorned your jackets back on, slipping on some boots as Schlatt reached over and grabbed the blanket you were once wrapped up in. You both walked out of the cabin in silence, finding a secluded spot a little bit away from the cabin, but in a clearing large enough that you could make out the stars and their constellations from underneath the trees. Schlatt laid the blanket down on the grass, sitting down before looking back up at you.

“Are you gonna come down here and join me, or are you just gonna stand there, toots?” He chuckled, patting the spot next to him on the blanket. You let out a breathy laugh, sitting next to him before glancing up at the sky. Admiring the stars together, the silence quickly became comfortable, not tense as it was a few minutes ago. When Schlatt laid down on his back, he tugged at your jacket, signalling you to join him, to which you quickly obliged. Your head on his chest, you could ever so softly hear his heart beating intensely, making a smile creep up on your face.

“What’s that one called…?”

“Hmm…maybe Ursa Major? Kinda looks like a bear…doesn’t it?” He hummed, his arm wrapped around your shoulder as his other hand continued to point out different constellations above you. You couldn’t help yourself from looking up at him, seeing how the stars reflected in his eyes caused you to fall deeper than you ever thought possible.

“What’cha lookin’ at?” He said, confused why your gaze wasn’t directed at the stars any longer.

“Have I ever told you just how…handsome you really are, Schlatt?” You said, seeing his eyes grow a bit wider than before. He felt a now familiar heat creep across his cheeks, as he said a silent prayer that you couldn’t tell just how rosy his cheeks have now become.

Fuck. Not this lovey dovey shit…

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EDIT: Part 1.5 is out now! Smut, and smut only, so reader discretion is advised! Enjoy~ AND PART TWO! READ IT HERE :)

ANOTHER NOTE: FINAL PART OUT NOW!! Thanks for your love & support!!

#jschlatt x reader #schlatt x reader #jschlatt #jschlatt x you #schlatt #schlatt fic #schlatt fanfic #schlatt x you #schlatt x y/n #jschlatt fanfic #jschlatt fic

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presidentstalkeyes · 6 months ago

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Pines Family Headcanons (Take 2)

I know I already did something like this, but that was a while ago and my headcanons have evolved since then, and my fixation brain is in Pines mode again so here we go! (Mostly focused on the Mystery Twins but with some attention to the older generations scattered about)

Past:

The first member of the Pines family to arrive in America in the 1800s was Gabriel Penzak, a Sephardic Jew from somewhere in the Balkans. His last name was changed to Pines at Ellis Island, and his family later assimilated into the majority-Ashkenazi Jewish community in New Jersey. He was the father of Elmer Pines and grandfather of Filbrick.

Filbrick was the youngest of four brothers (the others were Philip, Fillmore and Fulton). He was the 'weakest' of the four, compensating with his intellect and business sense. He was also born with highly sensitive eyesight - flashes of light would blind him for hours - requiring dark glasses later in life.

His eyesight also meant he was passed over for the draft in WWII. Since all three of his brothers died in the war, this possibly saved his life. As a young man, he operated and maintained film projectors at a traveling carnival, under a boss who taught him many tricks (and bore a resentment towards 'freak show' acts, viewing them as talentless). It was here he met - and accidentally impregnated - his future wife Caryn.

Caryn Romanoff's parents were Pavel, a grizzled sailor, and Tanya, a fortune-teller - both Ukrainian Jews who fled to America to escape persecution from Stalin's Soviet Union. She also had two siblings - older brother Dimitri, a troublemaker and later hatchet-man for the Mafia (never a made man due to his non-Italian ancestry, but close enough for his family to disown him) and little sister Shprintze, who was married three times and had five children in total, all of them named after Roman emperors (except for her only daughter Cleopatra).

Filbrick and Caryn's first son was Shermie, born in 1947. Their second sons, Stanford and Stanley, came 8 years later in 1954. Shermie was a star athlete in high school and always kinda distant from his little brothers, in addition to being Filbrick's obvious favourite. Also a notorious flirt and brought many girls back to the pawn shop (and distracting Stanford from his homework with the resulting noises), and tattled on Stanley for bringing a possum into the store, forcing him to let Shanklin go. Was later drafted into the Vietnam War in the 60s, missing out on Stan's eviction from the house. When he returned from the war, the first thing he did after finding out he was a brother short was to track down Ford and deck him in the face.

While in Hawaii on R&R, Shermie started a relationship with a local waitress called Wikiola Kale. After getting pregnant with his daughter, Wikiola got a plane ticket all the way to NJ to ask Shermie's parents to look after the child, being too poor to raise a child herself. Filbrick almost slammed the door in her face until Caryn intervened. The baby - Louise - was the one in Caryn's arms the night Stan was kicked out.

Louise Pines first grew up in Glass Shard, then moved to L.A. after her dad married a rich businesswoman called Fiona Safesmith (the relationship with Wikiola having not worked out). Fiona was a less-than-ideal stepmom, trying to force her daughter to go into acting and disparaging her interest in DD&D and mystery novels. She also cheated on her husband after an old war injury acted up and he lost the use of his legs, and later went to prison for tax fraud.

Louise would later get a degree in criminology and met a computer geek, amateur ufologist and 'radical cool dude' called Emile Sauvageon (who ran away from a strict, isolated religious family). They started a relationship and had twins in 1999: Mason and Mabel.

Present:

Dipper and Mabel's full names are Mason Emile Pines and Mabel Louise Pines, respectively.

Lou and Em only moved to Piedmont on Shermie's recommendation (and with his money). They would regularly clash with their neighbours for their 'weird' habits (and refusing to maintain their lawn). They considered themselves the arch-enemies of the local HWA.

Em worked at a fancy silicon valley tech start-up, while Lou was a private investigator (the boring realistic kind that mostly deals with insurance fraud and the occasional adulterer).

When he was little, Emile used to wow his son with stories about he was secretly an awesome space pirate with a cosmic ancestry, evidenced by Dipper's birthmark. And Dipper believed him. Really believed him. When his dad finally told him the truth, he did not take it well. Dipper also butted heads with his mom a lot over the existence of the supernatural - she would encourage him to examine things rather than blindly accept them, but he'd often think she was just doubting him for no reason. In short, he had some trust issues with his parents.

Dipper did have some friends in elementary school, but most of them moved away, and in middle school he alienated his fellow nerds after he was kicked out of the tabletop gaming club for being too rules lawyer-y. The resulting slump also lead to him falling behind on band practice.

Mabel is asexual and aromantic, but didn't realize it until much later. Finding she was drifting apart from her friends, she wrongfully attributed it to not having a crush (in truth they simply started to see her as immature and embarassing to be around - you know how kids can get :V). Not wanting to be 'left behind', she dedicated the summer in Gravity Falls to getting a romance as 'proof' that she was a totally grown-up big gal now (while her only reference material were 80s animated comedies and age-inappropriate romance novels).

Mabel very nearly didn't get to go to Gravity Falls at all - she was in danger of being forced to go to summer school due to poor grades (unlike her brother - and like her Grunkle Stan - she experienced great difficulty with any subject involving figures and rote memorization, especially math, the sciences, and computer studies). Only a week of late-night cram sessions spared her from this fate.

Contributing to the above, she also suffered from a form of anterograde amnesia - she would easily forget things that happened just the day before - sometimes even less - until presented with a reminder, usually in the form of an object or person, often her brother. She originally started scrapbooking to help her remember things. This wasn't diagnosed until a year after that summer.

Dipper was in the Boy Scouts in 2011. He hated the experience, camping out in the woods with no games or books, not relating to the other boys and resenting being ordered around by his hardass ex-army Scoutmaster. But he did get a merit badge in astro-navigation, so that's something.

Mabel had a brief stint in the Girl Scouts as well. She quit after an attempt to sell cookies somehow ended with her troop being chased out of a neighbourhood by a knife-wielding maniac in a bathrobe. To this day she's only told Dipper the full story.

One time, Dipper watched Small Soldiers and subsequently destroyed all his action figures checking them for military control chips. He was also banned from Chuck E. Cheese after his 7th birthday when he checked the animatronics for anything suspicious and made Pasquale's head fall off in front of everyone (on the same trip, Mabel tried to get the animatronic band freed from their exploitative contract so they could pursue their true musical potential).

One of Mabel's favourite movies is Rocky IV. For a long time she genuinely believed that's how the Cold War ended and was very disappointed to learn that wasn't the case.

Mabel had a bug-catching phase when she was 10, spurred on by all the creepy-crawlies that would nest in their unmaintained lawn. She'd catch bugs in jars and invite them to have tea and review movies with her. This came to an end after one of the jars smashed and released fireflies all over the house. She was finding descendants of Francisco the Firefly living in the basement as late as 2014.

Lou and Em were not getting divorced - they merely had a fight about paying off their mortgage after Em lost his job, and Dipper simply overreacted and assumed the worst. They sent the kids away that summer while they got their affairs in order. In the end, they had to sell the house and move into a cheaper apartment in Oakland.

Future:

When they first returned from Gravity Falls, the twins' grades took a nosedive as they had difficulty re-adjusting to mundane life, experiencing frequent traumatic episodes and refusing to follow instructions. Their parents had to be called in multiple times after both twins got into a fight in the hallway because another kid made up some dumb rumour that they'd joined a cult or had been abused by their 'creepy uncle', or were just faking their episodes for attention. They were only spared mandatory counseling thanks to emergency 'how to pretend to be normal' coaching from the Grunks.

Dipper has to start wearing glasses a few months after leaving Gravity Falls. Mabel of course made fun of this, thinking that only the male Pineses turn short-sighted (and forgetting about her mom). She had to start wearing glasses at 16, to which Dipper only replied by smugly grinning at her.

In high school, Mabel started a knitting club, which ended up being the most popular club in school - mostly because she insisted that it was a safe space for anyone, and anyone who tried anything funny would have their lives made hell. In her clubroom, nerds, preps, goths and jocks sat side-by-side in peace.

Mabel also took up sports, especially wrestling, becoming captain of the girls' wrestling team by Junior year. She took up a high-protein diet to build her strength - this combined with a childhood spent binging candy finally catching up to her lead to her putting on a lot of weight. By adulthood she's developed what she calls a 'sumo bod' - chubby, but strong (and great for hugs).

Meanwhile, Dipper took up track and gymnastics while regularly going to the gym - to the shock of everyone, as getting pre-Gravity Falls Dipper to exercise was like pulling teeth. If he was gonna have to brave another apocalypse, he didn't want to be saddled with noodle arms. By his 20s, the combination of his 'baby face' with his square jaw and muscular body has attracted a good amount of attention from girls (and boys) - attention he is alternately mildly perturbed by or totally oblivious to.

Dipper also devoted extra effort to his art skills, hoping to achieve the same level as Ford. Sometimes he'd climb up onto rooftops to get a good view of the landscape to draw, and then add a completely gratuitous monster because why not?

Despite his best efforts, Dipper was never able to overcome Mabel's height advantage. In fact, in their teen years she gained a few extra inches on him.

Dipper still regularly wears hats even as an adult - though he's no longer self-conscious about his birthmark, he's been wearing hats for so long it feels weird not to. It's like his 'thing' - Mabel has her sweaters, he has his hats.

Past his school years, Dipper mostly goes by Mason, especially with strangers - 'Dipper' is reserved for friends and family.

Dipper got a doctorate in forensic science at college, and also interned at a coroner's office. He also did some work as a runner on a film set, but the experience at the Used To Be About History Channel soured him on show business. Instead, after getting his doctorate he decided to take up Ford's offer to apprentice under him from years before, hoping to become a paranormal investigator in his own right (incidentally, Candy Chiu took the same offer, and now they work together).

Mabel went to college too, but didn't particularly want to, only going because she felt pressured. She ended up dropping out after the first year and still feels aimless, not knowing what to do with her life. She currently still lives with her parents and has a decently fulfilling job at an independent haberdashery (sweaters will always be there for her), but she's not sure that's what she wants to do.

Both twins are adored by Soos and Melody's 6-year-old kids (also twins) - they're considered honourary Uncle DipDip and Aunt MayMay.

When he turned 16, Soos gave Dipper his old truck - as much as he liked it, he can't exactly stick his kids in the cargo bay. Mabel meanwhile drives the Mabel-Mobile, an old Soviet military van painted pink with a huge shooting star mural, plus a liberal amount of graffitti and bumper stickers. Where she got it remains a mystery - not even she seems to remember.

Mabel has a serious weakness for booze. She experimented a lot with various substances during her brief time at college, but cocktails really stuck. When she's drunk, she tends to shift between giddy and sentimental, grumpy and ranty, and depressed and regretful. You know she's had too much when she starts singing about 'Lady Apocalypse'.

Dipper never got as into that stuff himself, but he was introduced to weed by Wendy, relying on it to calm his anxieties during exam season. He's currently trying to wean himself off it by means of alternate herbal cigarettes.

Waddles had to be sent back to Gravity Falls after a few years, since he rapidly grew too big to keep at Piedmont. He currently lives in a lean-to next to the Shack that Soos built. He still regularly sees Gompers, to Mabel's delight.

Wendy also got both twins into tattoos, convincing Mabel to get a huge shooting star on her upper right arm. For her 18th birthday she also got a special pair of tats on the forearms - a pair of arrows with the right marked 'Fasten In Case Of Hug!'. Dipper was reluctant at first, but caved when Mabel designed him a 'pine tree heart' emblem, which he wears on his right shoulder.

Both twins are in a special 'Never Mind All That' group chat, along with almost everyone else in the Zodiac, plus Candy and Grenda (but not Gideon). Mabel had the idea for a 'hotline' of sorts that they could message whenever the old post-apocalypse trauma started acting up - knowing from experience how important is to have people to remind you they're there.

Every year on the anniversary of the end of Weirdmageddon, both twins visit Bill's petrified body, and scribble tally marks on his face - one for each year, alternating between Dipper's blue marker and Mabel's pink one (this is something I've already mentioned elsewhere but I felt like it deserved to be at the end. :P)

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theladyofbloodshed · 3 months ago

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How did you and your husband meet? Please feel free to ignore if you do not want to share!

A funny story

I had nowhere to live and was staying with a friend’s parents - friend lived 60 miles away with boyfriend so it was literally just me and her parents

Downloaded tinder and there was a dude with a danish university listed. I used to live in Denmark and was like oh cool I can practise my Danish.

He messages “I like your dog” since my picture was me and my dog - Meanwhile his housemate forced him to make a tinder account and she approved the opening message

Ask if he’s Danish

No Slovak but lived in Denmark when I also lived in Denmark

He gets scared I’m going to unmatch because he’s not Danish (?)

Talk for like 2 weeks and I agree to go to his house to meet

I’m a nervous driver and drive to next city at rush hour, those three layers of deodorant arent doing shit now

I’m waiting on the road outside in the dark and this really scary looking man approaches my car and I’m ready to turn the key and drive away - dude goes to car behind mine and buys drugs

I’m sweating

Husband comes out and directs me to the narrowest gate I’ve ever seen and a 45 degree incline drive way. Stall 3 times trying to get on driveway. Sweating so badly.

Throw keys at him like he’s a valet driver

He parks car for me

Gets out car and we hug hello and im terrified of how badly I’m sweating and my cheeks are so red

Anyway we ordered pizza and watched Star Wars then I asked if I could take a shower before bed, he says yeah but I only have one towel and it’s in the wash but you can have this flannel and gives me a 15x15cm face cloth to dry my body with in winter - idk why I didn’t just leave then lmao

I stayed there for the whole weekend and we had so much fun together chatting and cooking and taking a walk - even went grocery shopping

Next weekend I go again but this time Thursday night until Monday morning

Husband warns me to not get attached as he is moving back to Slovakia in 2 months when his bachelors is finished

Cool no problem I will just stay here 4 nights out of the week every week for 2 months

He decides to do a masters and stays

We rent a flat after 4 months of knowing each other (along with housemate who encouraged him to make the tinder profile)

And here we are 7 years later

I still laugh “oooo look who got attached”

We used to tell people at the start that we just met in a coffee shop because we were embarrassed about meeting on tinder but I don’t care now

#anon asks

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05sonicfan · 5 months ago

Text

Probably not a hot take from me, but...

Sonic The Hedgehog 3 is one of the best family films of 2024.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

It's not a perfect adaptation of Sonic Adventure 2 by any means, but it cleans up a lot of the unessary stuff from the game.

Especially in regards to Maria and the ARK.

I LOVE that the Space Colony ARK doesn't exist in this movie. Because the movie knows it doesn't need it. All it needs to adapt is the research facility where Maria dies and the Eclipse Cannon.

Gerald Robotnik is an interesting character in the film for sure. He still has the same hatred he harbored for humanity in SA2, but with the added bonus of resentment for his grandson, Ivo because, in his own words...

"You're no Maria."

Gerald definitely is playing favorites, and I think it's abundantly clear why. He sees himself in Ivo, and it disgusts him. Whereas with Maria, he can only remember her innocence.

Speaking of Ivo, man, he's great. I mean, he's just all over the place in this film. He's good, he'd bad... and he sure as hell is funny. He and Stone are great, and I love how he finally admits his true thoughts about him during his sacrifice. Stone deserved to be validated for all the shit Ivo put him through over the years.

Now, I wanna move on to our meat and potatoes. Sonic and Shadow. They're phenomenal. Sonic is pretty much the same as he was in Sonic 2, with a little bit of added angst, which is due entirely to the film's themes about family, morality, and loss. Shadow is... jesus... he was amazing. He was everything I wanted him to be. Cool, dark, yet understanding. That being said, I wish they spent more time on Shadow dealing with the issue of what Maria wanted VS getting revenge on GUN with Gerald. I think extending Shadow's conversation with Gerald about their plan and Maria's wish would have done this perfectly and, in turn, better set up his switch to the good side so it's not as "oh yeah I guess we're doing this now."

"Live and Learn."

Okay, time for me to gush about Crush 40.

First of all, SEGA needs to pay Johnny G. what he's owed. Second...

HOLY FUCK

Live and Learn is everywhere in this thing. It's basically Shadow's theme for this film, playing in moments where he's either doing cool shit, or turning further to the light.

And when it played when Sonic and Shadow went Super on the fucking moon?! Oh my god, I would've screamed if it weren't for the fact I was in a public movie theater. You do NOT understand what this means for the next few films. We might actually get songs like "What I'm Made Of" or "His World" adapted for these movies if they keep doing well.

And I don't need a masters degree in Sonic-The-Hedgehogology to tell you how COOL that would be.

Speaking of Sonic, I wanna turn it back to talk about him and Tom. Dude. I love how Tom is immediately ready to join Sonic on his adventures. He loves this kid and wants to support him in any way he can, and I bet Sonic's so happy Tom wants to Hero with him.

"What did you do."

Tom's injury towards the end actually hurt me a bit. I didn't realize how much I cared about him until they played with the possibility of his death in this film. Also, I love what it meant to Sonic. We've seen in Sonic 2 that Sonic has some pent-up aggression for the echidna that killed Longclaw, that he never really properly expresses. The possibility of losing Tom, his best friend and father figure, the first person he connected with after years of isolation, it drives Sonic into a dark mindset. And. I. Love it.

This is what modern Sonic stories need. To give Sonic a wide variety of emotions, for him to act rashly if his closest friends and family are hurt, because it gives him more personality and shows us just how much he cares.

"What was his name...? Tom...?"

I loved everything about the scenes where Tom is hinted at being dead. I love how Shadow sees Sonic's reaction to Tom's potential death, and he has a small realization that he's become just like who he hated. I love watching Sonic panicking because he might be losing his best friend and father. I love how Maddie tries to keep a hold of herself for the sake of Team Sonic. I love the argument between Knuckles and Sonic about the use of the Master Emerald. I love the fight between Super Shadow and Super Sonic. I love how Shadow criticizes Sonic for letting his blind rage take over. I love how he wants Sonic to finish the job, and Sonic realizes what he's doing.

"The light shines, even though the star is gone..."

Sonic and Shadow's brief conversation on the moon is actually really sweet. They share a connection through their losses, and Sonic is able to guide Shadow to the light, by simply telling him to make the right choice. I think it's great because up until now, I think Shadow believed what he was doing WAS the right thing. But after seeing himself become like the GUN agents who ended up killing Maria... He starts to doubt himself. He goes to Gerald, who reassures him that what they're doing is justified, but Shadow doesn't believe that. Note how in that scene he asks if "this is what Maria would have wanted." Gerald responds by basically ignoring his question, saying that destroying earth is what deserves to happen to it. Gerald's own attitude led to his downfall. It's what caused Shadow to realize that he's on the wrong side of the fight by the time Sonic and him are on the moon, sulking.

"There are no winners with revenge."

I love this line from Sonic. It says so much about his past experiences from the last 2 films. He's seen revenge constantly ruin his life. So to be the one delivering it...? It goes against everything he's stood for, crosses a line he doesn't want to cross, and most importantly, sets him up for failure.

"Don't tell me you have a catchphrase.."

I like the comradery between Sonic and Shadow in the Super Hogs v GUN drones fight. They have a newfound understanding for each other that I think would have been able to make them better friends had it not been for Shadow's sacrifice, which will probably lead to the amnesia plot lines from Heroes and Shadow 05, which means it'll probably make Shadow a Sonic hater again. But then again, these movies keep surprising me, so who knows, maybe we won't go that route?

"What..? Who are you?"

Speaking of surprises.

FUCKING. METALIX.

And AMY MOTHERFUCKING ROSE.

Holy fuck. You all have no idea how hype this is. Unfortunately, I can say much in terms of predictions, but I think we'll be in for a treat come 2027.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic 3 spoilers #sonic #sega #shadow the hedgehog #shadow #sonic movie #sonic movie 3

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hubristicassholefight · 1 year ago

Text

Hubristic Asshole Fight: Round 1 Part 1b

Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars) vs Feanor (The Silmarillion)

Propaganda below cut

Anakin

Decided that he would become stronger than death to stop those he cares about from dying after failing to accept his mother's death. When he begins getting visions/nightmares like he had before losing his mother of his wife dying in childbirth, he decides to team up with an evil sorcerer and mastermind to learn the secret to stopping death. The price he willingly paid was leading the slaughter of the community of peacekeeping monks who had raised him from nine years old, feeling guilt about his heinous betrayal even as he unflichingly continued the massacre (sunk cost fallacy to a very extreme degree). The unintended price he paid was the loss of his limbs and independence after his injuries during a fight with his mentor and brother figure, his wife dying on childbirth due to the great stress of his heinous actions, and being separated from his children until they were adults firmly opposed to the imperial regime he became the attack dog for (only knowing of their survival until after he had personally attacked them both); He literally did not have to do any of that. his wife Padmè very very very very much did not want him to do any of that. He was completely absorbed in his own inability to deal with loss that he deadlock refused to consider losing family again and then he went and killed what amounted to his extended family, his wife and the man who raised and guided him from age 9. And his own kids unknowingly. In terms of accomplishing your goals there really really wasn't much more he could have fucked up. And when it comes down to key moments, all he had to do was not cut off mentor and co-worker Mace Windu's hand with a laser sword and everything would have been fine. He's a nominee for Fail King of All Time to me

He thinks he's hot shit which, he is, but like cool it dude you don't have to mass murder maim mutilate your way through life to prove you're the extra most specialest bestest psychic space wizard;

Hubrised so hard he 1) lost his limbs and his skin 2) became what he hated 3) caused the very death he sought to prevent, betraying and destroying himself for nothing; So soaking wet and self aware that he cried committing atrocities. If he knew what hubris was, he'd agree he has a lot of it

Feanor

The definition of hubris. Created the silmarils who were so perfect even the gods praised them. Got them stolen by the gods evil brother (so essentially fantasy satan). Then decided to go fight the evil god to get the silmarils back and swore an oath binding him and his sons to get them back no matter who would stand in their way. This drastically backfired when some other elves stood in his way so he murdered them. Got cursed by the gods for this (together with his entire family and everyone who followed them). Told the gods that they were of the same kind as fantasy satan and that they would end up following him

Morgoth (a god) shows up at his house and Feanor (professional hater of gods) tells him to get fucked* and slams the door in his face. *”Get thee gone from my gate thou jail-crow of Mandos!”; He has never spent anything wrong ever aside from all the war crimes.

The Valar (gods) asked Feanor for help in saving the world from being in total darkness and he said “no, figure it out yourselves”. Repeatedly and intentionally goes against their orders leading to war and chaos; I know it’s left open ended to what really happened to him after he died, but I hope he never repents. I hope he stays an antagonistic and egotistical bastard after being reimbodied (brought back to life) and continues to make it everyone else’s problem. I love him.

I’m gonna have to try to do this without a sing Tolkien scholarship words so bear with me. Basically my dude is one of the smartest and most talented elves in the world. Unfortunately he has a lot of daddy issues AND mommy issues largely due to the fact that his mom died when he was a kid and decided not to come back (as elves can do). No one else has this problem. He invented a ton of important stuff and had seven sons. His most prized creation was three gems called the Silmarils, which contained the light of the Two Trees, which gave light to the world before they were destroyed. When the Valar (the gods of Tolkien’s world) asked if they could use the Silmarils to potentially create another light source, he emphatically refused and in fact became so jealous of them that he and his sons swore an oath that anyone who so much as touched them would die by their swords. Sauron’s boss steals the gems and Feanor decides that he will lead his people on a crusade to retrieve and avenge them. This results in the death of him, most of his people, and almost his entire family minus one of his sons, Galadriel, and Elrond; He once yelled at the devil to get off his lawn

went to war with morgoth (satan basically) against the will of the gods and made a whole speech to said gods about how they were gonna feel really silly when he killed morgoth and saved the whole world. he never actually did battle with morgoth because he died on like day 1 of getting to middle earth (he left like 2/3 of his forces behind because he didn’t trust them) and spontaneously combusted upon his death; he’s a huge asshole and a mad scientist and linguist and prince with daddy issues and also mommy issues

Dude thought he could win a fight with the devil, tried to just walk into Angband (Mordor before Mordor actually existed), made an oath to kill everyone that tries to take his creations even the Valar (angelic like beings) and ends up causing his death, his sons deaths and a bunch of other deaths; His name is quite literally spirit of fire Is basically regarded as THE greastest elf Is in fact THE best smith of the elves and crafts their most precious jewels (that end up causing so much death) Is THE linguist to the point of creating the alfabet every one uses even after The Crimes, creates a bunch of things that are used even after The Crimes actually Loves his dad more than the things he made Is the only recorded elf with seven kids Is married to a sculpter that is so good that people confuse her statues as actual people (a propaganda because he had to be good to actually bag her you know) Manages to create jewelry so good even the the angelics beings sent by god are surprised he managed to do it So good at making speeches that it leads to a rebellion against said angelic beings and a lot of people to leave paradise with him His mother died because his spirit was too powerful Invented kinslaying after trying to steal some boats for said rebellion Swears an oath that destroys his whole family (but adds a great flavour to the rest of the story) Tells the devil to fuck off and slams his house door on said devils face Dies via auto combustion because his spirit was just too powerful for a normal death Gets stuck in the afterlife (that elves can usually just return from) for spiting the Valar Is said he will have an important role in Tolkien’s version of Ragnarok by letting the jewels he previously promised to kill for be destroyed to defeat the devil

Because of his pride, he went against the gods because the evil god Morgoth stole his life's work (the Silmarils, 3 shiny gems that radiated the light of the two trees that a huge evil spider had sapped dry). Swore (with his 7 sons) an oath to hunt Morgoth and retrieve his shiny gems. Commited kinslaying, burned some boats, combusted to ashes after suffering mortal wounds at the hands of corrupted demi-gods. Consequences of his actions could be seen long long after his death: the oath was passed on to his sons to hopelessly fulfill (failure after failure, including two more kinslayings, one of them casting himself into a fiery volcano, another wandering the shores for eternity);

#anakin skywalker #star wars #feanor #the silmarillion #tolkien's legendarium #hubristic assholes tourney #round 1 #round 1 part 1b #official #poll

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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am i the asshole for cutting off my mentally unstable friend without any explanation whatsoever?

(🧠🌩️ so i can find it)

tw for abuse and cheating mentions

ok typing out that title makes me feel like i might be TA to, like, some degree but just hear me out first.

i (19, f) was in my first semester of college when i met rachel (20). we shared a class and grew to be friends over our shared nerdy interests. i admittedly didn't really like her that much at first and didn't consider her to be that close of a friend. she was really just someone to talk to when class got boring or we had a break or something.

i was actually kinda regretting talking to her at all because i clocked that she was a little unstable almost immediately; she was very quick to anger and constantly talked about fighting people that had ""wronged"" her (which included our professor who she was convinced was out to get her for some reason?? idk why our prof was a really nice lady), constantly trauma dumped without asking (i'm talking like early into our relationship too. first day we met she was ranting about her abusive mother and her childhood trauma and stuff), and always found a way to turn the focus of the conversation about her any time i tried to talk about myself or anything that wasn't our shared interests. the only reason i gave her my number is bc she asked for it and i didn't know how to turn her down without hurting her feelings--i'd been planning on ghosting the second our class ended.

so we continued to talk/text for like a year and (at her insistence) met up for lunch in between class the following semester. i warmed to her a little at this point so it wasn't too bad; at the very least her constant drama gave me something to talk about with my real friends, and like i said i didn't really know how to cut her off in a way that wouldn't start something.

so time goes on and she shuffles through a few boyfriends--all who either cheated on her or were inattentive/verbally abusive. she constantly asked me for advice, which was confusing bc she never listened to it? like she asked me if she should take back her ex who cheated on her 3x and i said "no that sounds like an awful idea" and then she exploded at me and screamed that i could 'go fuck myself' and to 'stay the fuck outta her business bc it's her fucking life and not mine'. but then the minute he (predictably) cheated on her again and dumped her guess who had to sit with her on the phone for 2 hours while she cried? yep. me!

this kinda bullshit continued all the way up to a few months ago. she met a new guy, told me all about how he was "the one" and "he's gonna be different this time" blah blah blah. at this point i genuinely stopped giving a fuck about her and her problems. the only reason i hadn't cut her off was because my other friends loved hearing about her drama secondhand and i admittedly did enjoy making fun of her with them. which i know is kinda shitty but at least she'll never find out about it?

anyways, shit starts to get particularly juicy bc two months into rachel's relationship with this new dude he proposes. and she accepts (?!!) not only that but she informs me (not asks. INFORMS) me that i will be a bridesmaid. and i panicked and just said "uhhh cool i'm so happy for you!!" so this is the point where i decide that i need to end this relationship bc having to attend her wedding is just not something i wanna be apart of and i felt that if i went through with that it would solidify our ''friendship'' in her mind and i'd never be rid of her.

so i stop responding to her texts as frequently and began ducking her calls. didn't have to stop initiating bc i never initiated convos with her in the first place. i'd answer every once in a while bc she would start spamming that she was having ""emergencies!!!"" which. they never were true emergencies; she just wanted to vent about her fiance and his shitty family or something his ex-wife did to piss her off (her fiance was like 20 and divorced twice with three kids. YIKES) and i'd listen until she got tired of talking and ended the call. not once did she ever ask about me btw. at this point she wasn't even to pretend to care about me or my life; i was just her dumping grounds for all her trauma and venting.

i thought she might've got the message that we were done bc she hadn't texted for like a month, but a few days ago i recieved a message that said something like "omg i haven't heard from you in a while, are you okay??" and. i'm not sure if i can put into words the sheer amount of exasperation and annoyance those words filled me with. like i could tell right off the bat it was just a ploy so she could get me talking and then vent and saddle me with all her stupid emotional bullshit. so i blocked her, finally. this shouldn't cause any problems bc she dropped out of school last semester (she was failing so she decided to start her own business).

the thing is, i know that she's mentally not well. she is very erratic and immature, add that to the fact that she's gone through a lot of trauma throughout her life and the end result is a deeply flawed person. at the same time i'm not responsible for her mental health and continuing to play friends with her what i don't even like her in the first place seems disingenuous. but she's got abandonment issues, so me doing this is probably gonna hurt her. although me being honest and saying that i can't stand her and her drama anymore probably wouldn't feel any better.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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fatkish · 1 year ago

Text

Y/N x MHA Boys Pt. 4

Kirishima: How much you wanna bet (Y/n) got a Lap dance from Kaminari?

Sero: If that happened, Mina can drink free tonight.

Mina: As much as I love the thought of having free drinks I don't like the idea of (Y/n) receiving a Lap dance from someone other than me.

Kirishima: Hey Kaminari, did you give (Y/n) a lap dance?

Kaminari: So what if I did?

Kirishima, to Sero: I guess Mina is drinking free tonight.

Kaminari: Be right back, I'm gonna go cry-

(Y/n), entering the room: What the f-

——————————————————————————

Kaminari: From now on we will be using code names.

Kaminari: You can address me as Eagle One.

Kaminari: (Y/n) is “been there done that”.

Kaminari: Kirishima is “currently doing that”.

Kaminari: Bakugou is “it happened once in a dream”.

Kaminari: Sero is “if I had to pick a dude/gal/enby”.

Kaminari: And Mina is..

Kaminari: Eagle Two

Mina: Oh thank god.

——————————————————————————

Shinso: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

(Y/n): Yes.

Shinso: I love you.

(Y/n): It back.

*Later*

Aizawa: Why is Shinso crying face-down on the floor?

——————————————————————————

Shinso: What’s it like being tall?

Shinso: Is it nice?

Shinso: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Aizawa: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

(Y/n): It was one time!

——————————————————————————

Shinso, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Aizawa: (Y/n)'s in the kitchen.

——————————————————————————

Shinso: *kisses (Y/n)*

(Y/n): !

Shinso: ...Did you steal my chapstick?

(Y/n): Did- did I what?

Shinso: My chapstick, (Y/n). Did you steal it?

Aizawa: Shinso, for the love of God, not this again.

(Y/n): I- No, I didn't steal your chapstick. We use the same chapstick.

Shinso: No, there is absolutely no way we use the same chapstick, because it was only sold on one Etsy shop two years ago and they discontinued it, and I loved it so much that I bought the last of their stock, and I keep it in my freezer so it doesn't go bad. It's been discontinued for three years. No one uses the same chapstick for three years. So unless you've been eating a whole fuck ton of something that's flavored like chocolate and popcorn, you absolutely stole my fucking chapstick.

(Y/n): Chocolate and popcorn?

Aizawa: Why do you think it got discontinued?

——————————————————————————

Aizawa: Thank you all for coming.

Shinso, wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here.

Aizawa: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Aizawa Task Force".

(Y/n): Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way.

——————————————————————————

Shinso: I like your top, Aizawa!

(Y/n): I have a name, you know.

Aizawa: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): sapnu puaS.

Aizawa: What??

Shinso: What language is that.

(Y/n): Turn your phone 180 degrees.

*(Y/n) was removed from the groupchat*

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): is getting your toes sucked on considered a form of torture?

Dabi: why the hell are you asking me?

Tomura: why are you looking up torture methods?

Twice: who’s toes did you suck on? Don’t tell me, I don’t wanna know. I gotta know.

(Y/n): no one’s, I’m just curious

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Hey, Shinso, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

Shinso: Yeah.

(Y/n): And you, Aizawa?

Aizawa: Umm... yes?

(Y/n): Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Aizawa: Did they just-

#mha incorrect quotes #bnha incorrect quotes #aizawa x y/n #shinso x y/n #dabi x y/n #tomura x y/n #bakugou x y/n #kirishima x y/n #kaminari x y/n

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urfavluvergirl · 1 month ago

Text

+2 - all of the girls you loved before au

AU masterlist - you can find other stuff under #🪼opheliajones

The fabulous four have a game night, and UNO maybe starts getting a little too serious

✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩

I started writing this a week ago after everyone signed and debuted so...enjoy some fun times from like the best era of bc hockey ever.

wc: 1.1k

things to look out for: swearing

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Soft rain pattered against the window of Gabe and Will’s dorm, it was dusk, and Ophelia was sitting on the floor of their dorm. Wrapped up in Ryan’s hoodie (which was totally accidental by the way, it’s not her fault she dressed for 80 degree weather and then it started raining in the middle of the day.) trying to hide her cards from Will, who kept sneaking glances.

“It’s not fair she keeps winning!!” Will cried, as an excuse.

“I’m just better.” Ophelia taunted back, and earned an eye roll from Will. “Why are you being so sassy?”

“I’m not being sassy! YOU’RE the one who keeps cheating!” Will bickered.

“Cheating?! You keeping looking at my fucking cards!”

Ryan and Gabe just gave each other a look, trying to hide their smiles.

“It’s UNO, it’s literally not that serious?” Ophelia argued again.

Will just huffed and placed down a +2.

“Oh okay, well I can do that too, idiot.” Ophelia said and placed down another +2.

Gabe grabbed 4 cards and added them to his already large handful.

“Your arguing is negatively affecting me, you know.” Gabe sighed.

“Sorry.” Will mumbled and Ophelia gave him a pointed look.

“Blame him, not me.” Ophelia murmured.

“You’re delusional.” Will replied, not noticing that Ryan placed down a skip. “Oh dude, come on!”

“I had to get rid of my card.” Ryan shrugged.

“Yeah just all turn on me, why don’t ya?” Will mumbled.

“Don’t bring me into your beef!” Gabe exclaimed for what felt like the millionth time.

“It’s really one sided though.” Ophelia gave Will a side eye.

Ryan hummed at that, which as a response earned him a kick in the shin.

“Don’t injure me before our game, idiot.” Ryan huffed.

“You’re such a baby,” Will said. “I bet it doesn’t even bruise.”

“I’ll give you a bruise.” Ryan replied.

“Do I seriously have to separate you both?” Gabe asks, feigning disappointment.

“You’d think we’re in like, third grade because of how childish you’re acting right now.” Ophelia sighs and places down a blue card.

The game continues on without a hitch after that, minus the usual banter when someone places down a special card or changes the color to the worst possible one.

Halfway through the fifth game though, sure enough Ophelia feels Will’s eyes are her cards.

“Will, I’m actually going to kill you.”

And she doesn’t even look at him, she doesn’t have to to see the tendrils of embarrassment make their way up onto his face.

“I think you’re going crazy.”

Ophelia looked up and squinted her eyes at him, studying him to make him nervous.

“You’re red.” She started. “And you look like you’re sweating.”

“You’ve won too many times!” Will cried.

“That’s why we need to team up and stop her dumbass.” Ryan piped up from his spot on the floor.

Ophelia rolled her eyes playfully. “Yeah, you’ve been too quiet lately.”

“Of course you would know that.” Gabe mumbled under his breath and Ryan hit him in the shoulder, cheeks pink.

“Well yeah, we’ve known each other for years.”

The joke flew over Ophelia’s head, which caused Gabe to look over at Ryan, who was trying to ignore him.

Maybe it was a good thing, or maybe it really showed that Ophelia saw Ryan as just a friend.

“UNO!” Ophelia called placing down her second to last card.

“Guys what are we doing?” Will asks, trying his best to wordlessly coordinate what color they should change it to.

Ryan looked over at Gabe, and then Will. Wordlessly agreeing what to change the color too.

Red.

What a stupid mistake.

Ophelia placed down a red 2 before pumping her arms up in success.

“Lets go! You guys suck!” She cheered and Will rolled his eyes in disappointment.

Gabe didn’t really care, he knew he wouldn’t win anyways with Will and Ryan’s larger than life and competitive personalities.

Ryan just smirked, more happy that she won than the fact that he lost brutally.

“I hate this game.” Will pouted.

“Buddy you literally suggested UNO.” Ryan deadpanned, Gabe and Ophelia laughed.

`✦ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ જ⁀➴

The rain became heavier and the sky got darker when Ophelia decided it was probably time to head back to her dorm.

Ryan walked her back because he wasn’t an asshole and maybe he just wanted to spend time alone with her, after Will practically hogged her.

Don’t get him wrong, he loved Will like a brother but he couldn’t talk to Ophelia all night, and the claws of jealousy were squeezing his heart like crazy. Obviously Will wasn’t going to do anything, which confused him on why he got so possessive.

Yes, Ryan liked her. Maybe love? But Will knows she’s his.

His..?

“You okay Ry?”

Ophelia snaps him out of it as she climbs the steps of the building that houses her dorm, because her iy isn’t far from his and his silence is probably starting to creep her out.

“Yeah, why?” He’s totally stuttering.

“You seemed quiet today.” She said, piggybacking off of what she had said earlier during the game.

“Just locked in, I guess.” He tried joking, he also tried to usher her inside her dorm building and hide away from the rain, or distract her in the process.

“Yeah I don’t think you were.” She stood defiantly, and the top of her head started to become damp from the rain.

“Come on Phia, it’s getting cold.” He tried to reason.

“You act like I don’t swim in the Atlantic Ocean for fun in March.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“Fine!” He exclaimed, rubbing his face harshly.

The rain picked up faster, heavier drops that soaked through clothing.

“It’s just…well it’s just Will.” He sighed.

“What about him?” She asked.

“It’s just… well…I think I’m jealous.” He started, face flushed in embarrassment and nails digging into his palms.

“About what?” She asked.

He couldn’t tell her.

“I think I’m just trying to make up for lost time, I didn’t like it when you were with Will.” He said, and that was definitely true, but it wasn’t the main reason. She couldn’t know yet.

“Oh Ry…” She whispered, her hands–shaking a bit now as if she was nervous– reached out and held his shoulders comfortingly. “I understand, I promise we can spend time together…just the two of us.”

Ryan gave her a weak smile.

“Yeah…come on, you should get inside your dorm before you get soaked.” He tried joking.

She hummed in agreement, patting the top of her head to see how damp it was.

“You too, can’t have you get a cold for gameday.” She teased.

He let out a laugh and watched her turn around, but not before looking back at him and winking.

He laughed, watching her scan her student ID and go inside. Pausing a few moments and letting the rain calm down his red hot blush before heading back to his dorm.

#ryan leonard #bc hockey #washington capitals #boston college hockey #hockey player x oc #nhl x oc #bc line #gabe perreault #nhl #will smith hockey #🪼opheliajones

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direwolfrules · 1 year ago

Note

Oh my fairy godmother I am so happy you are post about Ever After High!!! Do you have any fanfic or au ideas involving them? Like, what if one character had another destiny or what if they were in the Star Wars universe?! It’s just interesting to think about!

Hey! Glad to see we share another fandom interest!

So, I have this barebones post for what I would have done as a crossover between g1 Monster High and Ever After High.

As for general fanfic ideas I have a few. I shall now list them in varying levels of detail:

1. A Very Charming Groundhog Day Year:

Basically, the Charming siblings time loop back from a bit after Dragon Games but before Epic Winter to the day before the school year started (the day of the Family Ball in the books). While it would be kinda angsty, the best time loop fics are usually crack fics, and this would be no exception (if I ever wrote any of these things).

So Daring, Dexter, and Darling are all initially in states of panic and anxiety. Daring, he was in the middle of a quarter-life crisis and now has to deal with everyone and their fairy godmother thinking he's Apple's Prince Charming.

"Daring Charming, more like Distressed Charming, am I right?"-- Dexter, who should get to exhibit asshole little brother energy more often, as a treat.

Speaking of Dexter, he's panicking cause of all the awful stuff that's going to happen during the school year and also because now he has to go through the nerve-racking ordeal of asking out the girl he likes all over again.

Darling's in hell because everyone and their fairy godmother expect her to be this perfect little damsel, again, which is just- ugh. There are days she wishes she could carry her sword around with her, and they're most days. Also, she never got to talk to Apple about their True Love's CPR, which is just tragic.

The loops go on for a while, some constants in them include: Darling freeing herself and helping little Good-Enough Charming get one of their grandfather's trophies for the scavenger hunt, Dexter and Darling teaming up to kill the changeling and free cousin Charity (sometimes Daring helps but he's content to let his siblings have fun for once), Darling accidentally on purpose flirting with Apple and Apple experiencing several degrees of gay panic, Dexter fumbling asking out Raven for the first time (he's really such a dork, just a funky dude), and the Charming Siblings teaming up to make Milton Grimm's life a living hell.

In one loop they secretly film him playing with his toy unicorns and his action figure of himself and they hijack Blondie's mirrorcast to play it to the entire school.

After several loops a Monster High crossover happens, and so in every loop after that the Charming sibs, who have grown incredibly gremlin-like after experiencing the insanity of the school several dozen times, make sure to drop monster slang when it's just them and Cupid. Like:

Darling: "Wow, Cupid, that top looks clawsome."

Daring: "Totally, it's freaky fierce."

Cupid: "What?!"

Darling: "That top looks nice on you. Anyway, we gotta run."

Dexter: "Yeah, see you later ghoulfriend!"

I have some other half-baked ideas for this one but it'd probably be it's own post.

2. Murdoch Mysteries-ish AU:

This one makes no sense if you've never watched the hit Canadian Detective Show, Murdoch Mysteries. Or maybe it makes some sense, idk. Instead of a modern AU, we have a 1895 detective AU. It's barely an idea, I have no idea if I'd even keep this in the fantasy setting of (an 1895) Ever After or not.

Dexter is the Detective William Murdoch of this AU, the man with no game and beautiful blue eyes who women keep inexplicably falling in love with. He's observant and a little strange but he's also a brilliant detective. One of the major differences though is Dexter is the disowned son of old money parents.

Raven's the Dr. Julia Ogden, the outspoken, independent, and compassionate coroner helping solve cases and being amazing. Her rich, controlling mother doesn't much approve of her life choices but old Mrs. Queen can suck it. Raven and Detective Charming have a clearly mutual attraction but they're both hesitant to act on it cause what's a romance without a good slow-burn.

Hopper's the Constable George Crabtree of this AU. Listen, the everyday George matches Hopper's human side, and writer George matches Hopper's frog side. I will not elaborate, because I really cannot. Just feel the vibes, cause the words aren't coming.

I'm not 100% sure who'd be the Inspector Brackenreid. Part of me kinda wants to make it Professor Badwolf, and then I could make Milton Grimm the asshole commissioner. Coach Gingerbreadman is the Inspector of Station 5, the rivals of Station 4.

Daring is heir to the Charming family fortune. Golden boy, everyone loves him, wants more than anything to be able to talk to his little brother in public, but their parents would disown him as well if he stepped out of line.

Apple is one of Raven's housemates at Sisters boarding house, run by Bella and Brutta Sister. She was once courted by Daring, it was at the point where people were expecting an engagement announcement any day. That's when they suddenly broke it off, with no explanation (the explanation is Daring's in love with another girl and Apple's in love with his sister). Snow White and her husband barely agreed to let her move into the boarding house, I honestly have no clue how Apple managed to pull that off but good for her.

Idk, Darling's a vigilante. She's got the same deductive genius as Dexter, she just doesn't have the same ability to join the police force. Inspector Badwolf is tired of his cops being outdone by the mysterious White Knight (yeah, yeah, I made Darling into Victorian-era Batman). Couldn't the White Knight patrol Station 5's territory? (The answer is no, because Darling really wants to catch a glimpse of her twin and also because Sisters Boarding house is in Station 4's territory and sometimes she likes to secretly crash with her girlfriend).

3. The Destiny Cycle AU (AKA: Ever After High but the Rebel Movement is an actual Rebellion AU):

What it says on the tin. Raven discovers the book is fake before Legacy Day. Her and Dexter, who in this AU is believed to be Ashlynn's future Prince Charming because someone made a good post about the potential dynamics that could cause and I love it, set out to uncover what other secrets those in charge are hiding.

Basically, in this AU Ever After is a dystopia where the Royal Families tied the survival of their dynasties' rule to their stories. Like, magically tied them. The Fates themselves have been bound by the magic of the Destiny Cycle. Ever After's Destiny-bound citizens are forced to repeat the same stories as their ancestors, all because Happily Ever After doesn't include a revolt or the institution of democracy. All stories are repeated as a precaution against anyone figuring out what the ancestors of the Royal Families did.

Taking some inspiration from the SDCC Raven Queen doll's letter from her mother, the Evil Queen discovered the truth about the Destiny Cycle, said "not my kid you bastards", and proceeded to try to break the Cycle's bonds. Her taking over other stories and cursing Wonderland was an attempt to stretch the probability bonds of the Destiny Cycle's magic to the breaking point.

Stuff's gonna go down and basically these kids know time is running out until there's a war, cause the only way to avoid being offered up as a lamb to the slaughter is to overthrow the whole system.

God, I really gotta make this into it's own post as well now. But here's a basic rundown of some stuff I'd include:

Dexter and Raven being young and in love and just all the secret romance feels

Snow White knows about the Destiny Cycle, but Apple absolutely does not know.

Apple being born blonde is a sign that the Evil Queen's schemes loosened the grip of the Destiny Cycle, at least for a moment.

Ashlynn, Hunter, Dexter, and Raven as secret rebel leaders.

The backgrounders will have actual roles dammit! (Looking at you Lawrence Bonecrusher III, aka Orc Boy).

An exploration of artificial Destiny Cycle "True Love" vs. real True Love, featuring Apple, Daring, and Darling.

C.A. Cupid, sent by her godly family to infiltrate Ever After and cure it of the Destiny Cycle, because it's interfering in the domains of the gods.

A unique Monster High crossover idea that I will elaborate on in another post.

These children absolutely end up having to kill someone and it scars them forever.

As for different destinies AUs or Star Wars AUs, I haven't really given them much thought.

I think, in a Star Wars setting (possibly Old Republic?), Raven would be a Jedi padawan descended from a long line of Sith. Instead of Mirror Prison, her mom is dead and her Force Ghost is bound to a giant, mirrorlike piece of kyber crystal. Uh, not 100% sure who her master would be.

Darling would also be a Jedi padawan, and Maid Marian would be her Master. Maid Marian gets into custody battles over this kid with this old Jedi Watchman known only as The White Knight. She'd still have her time-slowing hair flip, in this AU it's just a unique way of activating the Force Slow ability.

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wwinddragon · 9 days ago

Text

My Version of Flynn's Backstory

I've been brainstorming ideas on this for weeks, and I separated the stories based on his age and important events. Sections 4, 5 and 6 are when things get interesting!!

My backstory explains why and how Flynn became the way he is, his struggles with freedom, deep connections and self expression, and how he became a pilot despite all odds going against it. Plus, I gave almost all the quirks he has a good reason for existing, like his BOOMs and his endless bravado. Not just because he’s the funny one!

I hope someone finds this interesting enough and reads through all of my nonsense, or even just a little bit. I'll be grateful either way. :)

Preface: Why I Wrote The Backstory

Since Swap Force 3DS sucked BUTT at giving Flynn a good backstory, (while also flanderizing him to a degree, RUDE.) I decided to write his backstory myself; how Flynn became the self absorbed but kind hearted pilot we all know and love.

It all started when he was a wee young lad.

THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE, so buckle up.

Section 1: Home Life and Family

Flynn was born around the early 1980s (gen Xers RISE.) and lived in a humble, quiet urban neighborhood. Flynn’s an only child, and had his mom and grandfather as his main caregivers. Kid Flynn was an imaginative and hyperactive troublemaker. Since he didn’t have any siblings/cool family members, he had to make do with his own chaos at home and school.

Flynn’s mom was the type to spoil Flynn rotten with basically everything; toys, food, and constant praise. She was also the sassy type, and would make sarcastic comments on Flynn if he’s ever gone too far with troublemaking, definitely where Flynn got his good sense of humor. She loved Flynn a lot and treasured every moment with him, so much she’s stored loads of photo albums of him and “art” he’s done as a child. (probably just piles of cool rocks and stick swords he’s found in the backyard).

Flynn’s grandfather, on the other hand, was the typical no nonsense strict type, a high rank commander in the Mabu Air Force. For most of his life, Flynn had to dodge responsibilities and punishments from his overbearing grandparent with humor, lies and of course a good smirk. This instilled rebellion yet good morals in Flynn from his grandparent, and overconfidence and sociability from his mom.

—

Section 2: Adolescence

In middle and high school, he was the typical class clown, always up for some trouble and stupid stunts, just loud enough to distract everyone from the fact he’s a complete dumbass. He had a ton of friends, especially the dude bros and rocker guys. Despite that, most of his “friends” would bail if he’s ever gotten into trouble or is going through a rough phase. This enforced the belief that Flynn must always perform and push his own needs away just so he can be liked by others, making him even more rebellious and cocky than as a kid, (imagine teen Flynn blasting AC/DC in his room whenever his grandpa isn’t home) but also crave a deeper, more emotional bond that he was missing from his relationships. (Mom’s absolutely not enough for him anymore!) For Flynn, he thought he can get that bond by getting a girlfriend. His strategy? Flirt with any girl that took the time to glance or laugh at him. Wonder if he’ll ever change.

At some point in his life, he’s become obsessed with boy bands. The idea of wooing girls through dance and song, no flirting required, especially as a 15 year old? SOLD. “That takes absolutely no effort!” is what Flynn thought enthusiastically. The guys thought this phase was… too gay. (the horror.) but that didn’t stop him from randomly and awkwardly busting moves in front of girls at school. When he got a middle part haircut and fully committed to the boy band look, one day, his grandfather went ballistic. “YOU’VE GONE TOO SOFT!” and bam, gave him a buzzcut on the spot. Flynn never looked back at the boy band dream since, deepening his need to please others first.

— Section 3: College and Hugo

When Flynn graduated high school, he had many dreams he wanted to pursue. Rockstar, singer, comedian, actor, and maybe a womanizer, too. Of course, none of which are real jobs to his grandfather. He passionately voted against them many times, but with Flynn’s mom’s unwavering support and coddling, Flynn had enrolled at a theater/arts college, fully confident that acting was his calling. He’s pretty much done it his whole life, and it’s the ultimate, pettiest “I’ll show you!” to his grandfather.

Flynn thought college was the prime of his life. Constant partying, barely any studying, and was the constant talk of the college. “Heh, I’m basically settin’ myself up early for the industry!”

His roommate, unfortunately for him, was the exact opposite. Hugo, a Magic major, was the studious strict guy that was always afraid to try any suggestion that came out of Flynn’s mouth. Flynn’s careless and reckless attitude naturally drove Hugo insane, igniting a deep hatred for Flynn during the first few weeks of college.

“Studying magic with no magic powers? I LOVE your confidence, man!” was the first genuine comment from Flynn that convinced Hugo he had a good heart in there somewhere… despite him not putting it so eloquently. Small gestures of kindness from both, like Flynn standing up for Hugo, or Hugo explaining how he prefers Flynn when he’s actually himself, strengthened their bond. It was Flynn’s first ever genuine friendship, and from someone who reminds him of his grandfather a lot… it was definitely conflicting. From then, for the first time in a while,

Flynn misses his grandfather.

Despite Flynn being just a tad more serious about things in his life, he kept drowning it away with being reckless and irresponsible. Eventually, his mom and grandpa caught on. No more handing college tuition money. It was Flynn’s grandpa’s final straw. After a few embarrassing lectures, and an already signed application for the Air Force from a year ago, Flynn had to begrudgingly join the Mabu Air Force.

—

Section 4: The Mabu Air Force

All of Flynn's dreams were crushed in one single day. No attention, no frat parties, and most devastatingly, no Hugo. His grandfather usually accompanied him in drills and piloting sessions. Most people in the military never humored Flynn. He had to live a real nightmare for the first time in his life.

That didn’t stop Flynn from trying to lift up his and others’ spirits, despite him failing almost every piloting exam and constantly being pushed around by other cadets. Once Flynn started to lose weight and notice he’s in the best possible shape ever, he started to take piloting more seriously. Still in his Flynn element, he thought this was an amazing opportunity to get a lot of girls once he’s out of this place. And after years of finally taking training seriously (at least, as seriously as he physically could)… it was time. The final piloting exam.

—

Section 5: The Exam

Flynn started the day absolutely terrified. What if he fails and has to continue training another dreadful year or two? What if he just gives up? What if he never gets to be himself?

Pushing those thoughts away with a mock confident strut to the exam, in the open field, there are endless rows of skyships, jets, helicopters, all kinds of aircraft you can think of. Waiting nervously for his turn… the examiner, his grandfather, guides and assigns him… a hot air balloon.

Flynn burst out laughing.

“I didn’t know you had humor in you, gramps!”

Though the deadpan expression on his grandpa’s face made Flynn freeze immediately. Quietly and confidently, his grandpa gestures him to enter the air balloon,

“You really think I can trust you with real aircraft?”

“I don’t want you killing yourself, kid.”

Flynn snaps inside, the words hitting him harder than any cruel shove from the cadets. Not moving a single muscle on his face, and ignoring the slightly regretful expression on his grandfather, he stubbornly enters the air balloon like he’s been flying it for years, then awkwardly but successfully lights the fire. Within moments, he’s flying with a confident glint in his eyes.

“I got this.” he thought, almost as a prayer.

The hot air balloon is harder to control than it looks. Flynn tries to not to scramble frantically as he tries his best to stay on course. He notices the communicator strapped to the side of the air balloon, gritting his teeth slightly, not wanting to ever talk to his grandfather. At least not before he’s aced the exam. Flynn glances at the other skyships and jets soaring through the sky, trying his absolute best not to lose his temper. After a while, he eventually does go off course, drifting slowly towards endless skies. His grandfather is now guiding him on what to do with the hot air balloon over the communicator. Flynn however forcefully covers the speakers with a hand, now absolutely seething.

He pulls at the ropes, swings the balloon, screams in absolute frustration as soon as his grandfather was far enough. Silence.

Just before he considers giving in to his grandfather, he notices something in the distance. A sky island with faint terrified screaming. He squints and tries his best to assess what he’s seeing, filtering out his grandfather’s worried and angered instructions. As he flies closer, he finds that the island is raided by hundreds of chompies. His goodhearted instincts guide him, and then very ungracefully lands on the island with a huge crash and thud.

“now that was a BOOM, alright!”

he yells at the top of his lungs with a hop of pure victory, overwhelmed by the feeling of being finally freed from the air force, and ironically the skies, even for a moment.

And with that, the legendary catchphrase was born.

— Section 6: The Aftermath (you need to read at least section 5 to understand what's going on)

There’s no time to celebrate. In the sky island, ironically, he notices a big celebration going on, with a few Skylanders already battling the enemies as much as they could, albeit pretty sloppily. Flynn glances over the skyships that flew right past the danger under them.

“Chumps.”

“Some air force you are.”

He very reluctantly scrambles towards the battlefield, dodging the enemies, hiding behind a woman or two, totally unintentionally, not relishing it in, and definitely no smirking. In the distance, he sees Master Eon, the leader of Skylands, battling it out with the bigger stronger enemies, along with a familiar, stubby figure right next to him.

Hugo!

That about erases his entire anxiety away. A huge surge of adrenaline rushes through him as he kicks chompy butt, cheering and letting out exaggerated goofy battle cries like a dumbass man child.

“OH YEAH! I AM PUMPED!!!”

The voice crack doesn’t even bother him. He rushes through endless herds of chompies, even kicking a few with the rookie skylanders.

“TAKE THAT, AND THAT! AND THAT!!!”

Hugo’s now within earshot of Flynn, now taking a very close look at Flynn, doing a double take and rubbing his eyes very forcefully. The flabby bellied Flynn from years ago is now tanned and HUNK-ulous. (Hugo’s gay thoughts, not mine. and btw, this is a joke, I don't ship them lol)

“I-IT’S YOU! FLYNN!!!”

Flynn flashes the most legendary smirk, iconic half lidded eyes and all. With a buttery smooth voice, he utters,

“You know it.”

… before getting chomped by a chompy on his arm, letting out a squeaky shriek. Hugo immediately instructs Master Eon to shoot a blast of magic on the chompy. Master Eon obliges, a calm and stoic expression on his face as he sears the lil green gremlin. Once the village has calmed down, enemies all cleared, the villagers break into a huge victory cheer.

Flynn, his dumbass thinking they’re cheering for him, turns around, fists up, breathes and yells in the most Flynnian way possible,

“OH YEAH!!! YOU’RE WELCOME!!”

and dramatically bows before turning to Master Eon and Hugo.

Hugo is now teary eyed, composing himself not to burst with a shaky smile.

“Flynn… I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONER!”

“HAHA!! Legends NEVER die, baby.” wink.

Master Eon calmly steps down with his hands behind his back, glancing down at Flynn with a mixture of amusement and admiration, then gently looks up at the one remaining air force skyship heading towards the sky island. He doesn’t mind the skyship for now, and speaks to Flynn.

“Where’s the rest of your crew, brave cadet?”

“Oh, THEM? Pssht,” he throws his hands mockingly, like Eon’s been his best friend since childhood, “chumps cared more about their final exam than savin’ a village. Y’know, what they need to do AFTER they pass?”

An amused chuckle escapes Master Eon’s lips, exchanging glances with Hugo, who’s still trying not to ruin the moment.

“A brave and honest deed from you, cadet. You clearly care about others.” he closes his eyes fondly for a moment, then glances over at the frantic and frightened old Mabu rushing towards Flynn, barely breathing.

“FLYNN! FOR THE LOVE OF THE ANCIENTS… IF YOU DISOBEY ME ONE MORE TIME…” he wheezes as he catches his breath, “you FAILED and you FAILED ME AGAIN.”

Flynn dramatically turns around with a huge smirk, arms crossed, head high, and waggling his eyebrows at Master Eon, fully expecting him to give the grandest declaration of Flynn’s entire life. And he will.

“Commander Arthur.”

“Your grandson has proven himself today, not by flight, but by courage and his heart.” Flynn at this moment is trying his best not to burst alongside Hugo, giving him a playful shove and straightening himself right after catching a lady’s stare. Flynn’s grandpa is frozen in place, still not believing any of this is true.

“He risked his license, and himself, to save these villagers. Despite the other cadets.” Now with a louder announcement, “From this day forth, I name Flynn as my chosen pilot, entrusted with the skies and the missions ahead.”

The crowd is now booming (heh) once more, and Flynn almost feels himself ascending to another dimensional plane, fully soaking in the glory, enough to fuel his ego for the next 3 decades.

Flynn’s grandpa kneels down with an arm resting on his knee. “Then I entrust him to your command, Master Eon. May the skies judge him worthy, as you have.” he gives a prideful and warm look at Flynn, a look Flynn has never even dreamed of catching before.

And with that… a legend took flight. Women were swooning. Friendships were rekindled. And Skylands became something worth protecting. … y'know. Minus the crash landings in the future. But he doesn't know that yet.

And that celebration and chompies at that sky island? It was all a test from Master Eon to see how the cadets would've reacted, so he can appoint an actually good hearted pilot this time.

Flynn doesn't know that to this day, and probably never will. Skylands needs his ego tamed.

No Mabus were harmed. Except for Flynn, but he's okay.

THE END

If you've read this far... thank you. You're seriously amazing, and I'm so happy and deeply appreciative that you liked it enough to read it all. <3 I love Flynn so much, and I'm happy to share how amazing he is to you all.

I really enjoyed writing this story and tried my best to make it as believable as possible. Hope I didn't disappoint!!

#flynn skylanders #skylanders flynn #skylanders #writing #fanfiction #headcanon #hugo skylanders

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morn1e · 8 months ago

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posting again abt my personal dude hcs 4 my au from my previous blog bcuz i was rather happy w them&want them here. changed a few minor things+added a few more that i forgot 2 mention in the original. as said b4, these r just my own personal interpretations of p2 dude specifically, u can see him however u want.

- prepare 4 the real name of the century bcuz ermmm what the sigma. ok so dudes real name is tanner parkley dude jr. .yeah his surname is genuinely dude. Since he is jr., his father was called tanner&dude was called parkley by family. always hated the name parkley but it is what he is accustomed 2 so does not care as much. though prefers 2 just b called dude/tanner

- born on feb 29th bcuz he does not deserve 2 have a bday every year 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕in 2003 ,he is 39.

- does not have schizophrenia but is mentally unstable 2 some degree bcuz he does deal w very violent&intrusive thoughts on which he acts out on sometimes&has anger issues

- though has struggled w chronic migraine since a young teen. his 20s were his worst years bcuz the migraines were @ their worst/most frequent+the fact he was a drug addict&did not take proper care of himself as he should have+the bitch constantly nagging did not help whatsoever. now that he is nearly 40&medicated, they have greatly decreased but attacks still occur bcuz he still does not look after himself enough as he should

- was born in florida but the family moved around a lot(bcuz they could not b bothered 2 pay rent). eventually settled down in utah after marrying&lived there 4 a while, but moved 2 arizona 2 live in paradise after taking on the video game developer job

- am set on thinking he is the youngest child, hence why he is jr. it is bcuz his parents could not come up w anything better when naming him. i somewhat think dude was maybe even an accident. 3 sons in the family. kept minimal communication after moving out but after the dads funeral completely cut every1 off bcuz every1 was insufferable&hated every1. both brothers sort of turned out like dude(substance abusers&poor). mom is still around but he does not talk 2 her either bcuz she always was over religious&turned a blind eye 2 dads abuse&he just Does Not like her

- only family he is in contact w is uncle dave! only guy who was genuinely there 4 dude when growing up when it seemed like nobody cared. dudes father really despised him hanging out w dave bcuz he was sorta known as a scammer w his various scum scams. dude as a teen helped out dave w his various schemes&whatever so much so 2 the point it costed a permanent offense on his record where it hindered dude from barely being able 2 finish high school+absolutely NO hope of getting into college bcuz nobody wanted him there. i think this is also a factor why he has a hard time holding a job(main factor is that he is just. a piece of low value shit) //(yes, this is based off the postaI movie. i like this idea a lot&decided 2 take it 4 myself lol)

- got married 2 bitch in las vegas in 1 of those cheesy stupid wedding chapels

- dude genuinely did love the bitch @ 1 point but in the end they were incompatible&they were both pieces of shit 2 each other. w age they just drifted away completely where they just Could Not stand each other. i believe sole reason they stayed 2gether was bcuz of tax benefit&2 save the hassle of looking 4 a new place after separating

- champ came into his life randomly 1 day while he was still in utah&champ as a stray came up 2 his trailer randomly. he got fed&bcame dudes companion from then <:)

- in my au dude is mainly clean off crack bcuz when he moved into paradise got so pissed @ the crack dealer prices that out of sheer petty&principle said 2 himself he would Not smoke that shit b4 butchering most of the dealers. still has relapses but mostly manages. has turned 2 weed mostly

- has cried 2 nickelback @ least 3 times

- has a seasonal pollen allergy which acts up during spring bcuz i Do Not like him♡

- has a lower back tattoo(aka tramp stamp) from when he was younger. still thinks it is cool. i am a firm believer in this&will die on a hill 4 this hc. if dude having a back tattoo has no believers that means i am no longer on this earth

- contrary 2 his official outfit, i like 2 think dude wears a watch. 1 of those vintage timex watches. it is old as shit as dude got it as a gift 4 his 20th from uncle dave&has worn it ever since. most scratched fucked up watch u have ever seen but it still works just fine

- again, contrary 2 his official outfit, i have grown 2 the idea of dude wearing pointy toe shoes instead of boots. sole reason he wears them is bcuz he bought(or stole) them 4 his wedding&has worn them ever since; they were expensive as shit&might as well put them 2 use. those bad bitches have seen everything&still going strong

- despite taking showers once when the planets align @ a very specific angle&there being a full moon or whatever, grooms&maintains his goatee rather seriously. only thing he takes seriously tbh

- thinks too much pepper is genuinely considered spicy bcuz he is so white guy&cannot handle spice whatsoever

- fav desserts r smth like bread w butter&sugar or graham crackers w milk bcuz he grew up dirt poor&these were the only desserts the household could afford

- does not rly have a fav alcoholic drink bcuz will drink abt anything just so it gets him fucked up as fast as possible. but if dude had 2 choose would like whiskey+coke or vodka+tonic cocktails i think. beer is just fine too. does not like red wine bcuz of how it tastes+ triggers a migraine

- does not like chocolate but every year when there is a discount on it after valentines day, he gets a huge craving 4 it&gets a fuck ton of it&eats it all in 1 sitting so much so he gets genuinely very ill&hates chocolate 4 the rest of the year up until the upcoming valentines. like a never ending cycle

- knows how 2 cook meats like briskets&ribs&steaks&shit where they turn out rather really nice <:) knows how 2 cook overall but gets take out most of the time bcuz cannot b bothered 2 cook as the process is tedious as shit&bcuz idfk dude thinks he is too good 2 do the dishes or smth

- genuinely knows how 2 program&just has quite a lot of computer knowledge in general<:) if he was not dead set on being a piece of shit who is too good 2 hold a job, dude could make a fine living off of developing websites 4 ppl on the web or fixing computers in general, like reinstalling OS&whatever. but alas. dumbass failure noob man. these days mainly is the housewife/takes on a part time freelancer gig or whatever 2 develop a guys porn website or install windows w a fake license key or smth. shit like that

#mannnn remembered how ooc these r but who cares. he can b anything the player wants him 2 b. this was fun writing i remember!&i like these.#ermmm. eemmm. what else do i say? man idk. this is awkward but whatever. have a good 1. goodnight. \o/#hcs

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ri-writing · 1 year ago

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Ri rants about Northanger Abbey

Now that I have finished Northanger Abbey, I'm reading/watching/listening to academic thoughts on it. I do not have a degree in literature, but it feels like a whole lot of people are missing that Henry and Eleanor's dad is emotionally abusive. ??? I'm not the only one noticing this, right? It seems to be The Thing To Do to criticize Catherine for thinking he's a bad dude and I'm here going, "but he IS a bad dude."

His kids are afraid of him. They pull into themselves when they're around him. Eleanor doesn't have any friends when we meet her. At one point, she's scared about being a few minutes late to dinner. In her own house. Meanwhile, Henry's got a massive ironic-humor-defense-mechanism.

Catherine picks up on this. She's aware that Something Is Wrong. Her only knowledge of the sorts of people whose children are afraid of them comes from books and she doesn't have the vocabulary to express what she's picking up on. She's trying to figure it out. When Henry finds her in his mother's room, she isn't immediately forthcoming about her concerns. He pries it out of her. She tries to change the topic numerous times; he keeps coming back to it.

It's not like Catherine ran into dinner and did a whole Grand Detective Reveal accusing General Tilney of being a murderer. She's noticed his children - her friends - are afraid of this man and she's trying to figure out why. It seems unlikely she'd have said anything but-for Henry not letting it go when he found her.

Catherine isn't stupid. She's not letting her imagination run away with her. She's got a bad feeling in her gut that she doesn't understand but her gut feeling is correct. General Tilney is not a safe person. We see this for ourselves when he turns on her and puts her in a dangerous situation. She's seventeen, and has never traveled by herself but he sends her out of the house to fend for herself. He refuses to send anyone with her, so there's no one to protect her if someone wants to rob her or harm her. She doesn't know how the public transit works. She didn't even have money to get home; Eleanor has to sneak some to her. He throws her out and he doesn't care what happens to her. (That she figures out how to get home safely evidences that she's brave and clever).

So basically: (1) Catherine's gut is suggesting this guy is a bad guy; (2) the guy is a bad guy; and (3) the guy even puts her in a situation where she could be harmed. And if something had happened to her because she was forced into this situation - if she fell in front of a coach and got run over or if something more nefarious happened - that's at least partially General Tilney's fault and would mean he was...negligent or even worse.

Have none of these great academic minds ever considered that it's Henry who changes? When Henry finally gets Catherine's fears out of her after finding her in the hall outside his mother's room, he defends his father. This is a really common thing with people who are emotionally abused (I defended my abuser for years even when I knew deep down something was off). Because the abuse is not physical, it's harder to identify. You start to think that maybe you misunderstood or are exaggerating things in your mind, that you're being overly emotional or that you're reading into things that aren't there. An abuser even knows how to play into those thoughts until you find that it is easier to explain away and lie to yourself (he cares "in his way"). Henry knows deep down that his father does not treat him or Eleanor right, but he's lived his entire life in this abusive situation. I wonder how much of Henry's speech to Catherine about being reasonable is actually him voicing the things he says to himself.

When General Tilney puts Catherine in danger, Henry's finally able to admit the truth to himself. Once that happens, he's able to free himself.

That's the book I read. I'm still not sure I read the same book the academics read.

#ri reads northanger abbey #northanger abbey

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squeakyleftsneaker · 2 months ago

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Watching Voltron for the 1st Time: S3 Ep. 1-2

Are you wondering wtf this even is? I am too, but I at least know how I got into this mess. Here's how I got into this mess dawg. If you don't want to read that, just know that I was hoodwinked by a 12 year old I tutor into watching it. She looked so fucking excited when I mentioned I took her homework seriously and watched it that like. Guys. I can't stop watching. Like I'm so serious she was so happy. I am so weak. So now I'm watching Season 3 and uh. I don't think I like this very much???

I Want To Believe

Everyone being kind of suspicious of the Blade of Marmalade is good. It's a good detail. I support it. I hope it keeps coming back in PLOT RELEVANT WAYS >:(

Keith being entirely out of control without Shiro there is great. Genuinely a fantastic character detail. That's the same Keith who presumably washed out of the Space West Point when Shiro went missing too. This is a one-track-mind guy, and that's perfect.

I'm assuming this is also the time when they start to flesh out Lance! It's about damn time! I've been WAITING for this one

Lotor's flowing locks are very nice very cool. Is he part Altean? Bc Allura and Haggar and Allura's dad also have baller flowing locks of glorious white hair

LOTOR'S GOONS HAVE A SPACE CAT OMFG THE SPACE CAT IS SOOOOO CUTE

Voltron is giving my gay ass these beautiful alien women to distract me from how much of a hot mess it is and it'll only work a tiny bit I promise but wowwwwwwwww WOMEN! I LOVE WOMEN!

"I don't want to be the leader. That's just what Shiro wanted" dude Steven Yeun's performance is SO GOOD here. He sounds so heartbroken

And again when Keith finally gets the black lion, the genuine despair in his voice, the way they've drawn him to shrink in on himself, fantastic work by the artists and Yeun and writers (for once) there.

This Ain't It Chief

I REALLY NEED THEM TO STOP HAVING LANCE BE A WANNABE PLAYBOY LIKE ASAP

These scenes where the team is trying to tell Keith he's not the only one who misses Shiro and they need to move on now play so poorly to me. In part because obviously none of characters have really bonded to any degree onscreen. It feels like we're watching a bunch of people who don't really know Keith telling him to just Get Over the death of the only person in this show he has any sort of real relation to. Telling Keith "He would be the first person telling us to move on" rings so cruelly when Keith is pretty much the only one in this group who KNEW Shiro.

The other characters telling him about how they also liked Shiro really drives home how little they all interact diegetically. They don't bring up their personal experiences with Shiro to exemplify how much they miss him because they don't have any. Instead we have Hunk giving some vague lipservice to the idea that Shiro gave him some piloting pointers. Pidge just says "My family talked about him" and Lance says he idolized Shiro back on earth. They don't KNOW him. It's just a bunch of people telling someone who was genuinely mourning the loss of his closest relation to move on and it STINGS.

Let's talk about the lion swap. Allura SHOULD be the red paladin here. She should. She and Keith are established foils last season which makes her a good lancer (to use a TV tropes staple) to Keith, she's got the history with the lion that makes it narratively satisfying, and she and Keith have similar levels of "fuck it we ball" that it'd make for a great dynamic between them. I, however, can pick up that the reason they've put Lance in the red lion is twofold. 1: Lance and Allura are set up from the 1st episode as what is probably going to be the only endgame relationship in this show. Do I like it? Not really with how it's going so far but whatever, it could be made to work and 2: Lance's one-sided rivalry with Keith needs some work. My thing is that though putting Lance in the Red Lion does somewhat help with both of those, it's unnecessary.

In all honesty, it'd probably be EASIER for Lance and Keith's relationship to balance out without Lance in the red lion. The red lion is a lancer spot, there's always going to be tension there, and Lance's whole thing is that he generated a conflict with Keith for no reason and needs to worth through that for himself.

Then for Allura and Lance, having him in the lion that was once her father's isn't necessary to them developing a relationship! He just needs to get his head out of his ass around girls and gain some more self confidence, and then she can start to consider him a potential partner because he IS endearing and fun!

There's another reason why I don't love Lance leaving the blue lion. He's our audience proxy. We are supposed to identify with him! He's the everyman in this 5 man band, the heart, as it were. The blue lion is the lion with the strongest connection to earth, Lance is a character with a big urge to get back home, he mentions it often! Pulling him out of there, pulling the audience out of the lion with that connection weakens that tether. And maybe that's INTENTIONAL but I don't think that's a decision that'll play well for the story overall.

And now, an impromptu tangent, because I am starting to get the feeling that I need to care about the mechanics for writing romance a lot sooner than I anticipated. Let's talk about where a writer could go with having romantic relationships in this show. In this fantasy world, pretend there's not a weird taboo on gay relationships and that all iterations are possible.

The Big Tangent On How To Relationship In Fiction

If as a writer you wanted to have a romance of Hunk or Pidge with literally anyone else in the main cast, you could at this point in time. You'd have to really sit and develop it out and plan for the plot because there's nothing to work with in terms of interpersonal relationships in the main group, but you could do it! There's over 5 seasons left right now! You've got it! I am very FRUSTRATED by the fact that they've developed no real relationships between the paladins, but it does give them a lot of license to go anywhere with it.

If you wanted Lance with ANYONE but Allura or Keith, the same applies! Tabula rasa, complete creative freedom there. But I don't get the sense that's what they're going for. And Lance is a good character to put into a relationship, bc as established he's our audience surrogate!

So let's look at Lance and Allura. I would be willing to place a bet RIGHT NOW that that's an endgame relationship. They set it up from day 1, they fall into a well established trope of "Playboy meets serious girl and shows her fun is good and she shows him to lock in and focus" which. I am personally very lukewarm on! I think it could be done pretty well though. They'd need to really lock tf in though (and not with the stupid lions as proxy). They need Lance to start really relating to Allura in a way that isn't just. Flirting with her in the exact same way that he flirts with literally every girl they put in front of him. And they need him to really work through his own insecurities they've brought up and ignored several times!

Similarly for Allura she deserves to have her own arcs, to really cope with the loss she's facing, and then to relate to Lance differently herself. This dynamic is, though not my favorite, still GREAT when done well. My favorite example of the suave playboy and the serious girl done RIGHT is Han Solo and Leia. And they keep Han fun and Leia locked tf in! Their personalities aren't compromised at all!

I really hope they avoid my beloathed trope of having Allura just. Suddenly be into Lance the second he behaves. I really do not want this. I hate it when women are presented as a prize for good behavior. It's awful.

I've been reliably informed that apparently Keith and Lance is a ship people like, and look, as a TV troper for a long time, Red Oni/Blue Oni I know your siren's call WELL. I know what you are. Anyway. This is a workable ship I think, but it'll take WORK. Why? Because they've maybe unintentionally set up Lance's character arc as being tied up in getting tf over himself as it pertains to Keith, and Keith's basically got no relation to Lance at ALL on his end. Keith is the focus of Lance's insecurities, while they've written Keith as though they are total strangers.

Red Oni/Blue Oni ships work at their finest when they've got a BALANCE to them. Level each other out. And also, well, I think technically though the show tries to INSIST Keith is the hothead, they can't both be the hothead in this dynamic and if anyone is the brash and impulsive one in the relationship of it all, it's Lance. So they'd have to either mellow Lance out a lot to have him play Blue Oni to Keith's red (which I don't love because toning Lance down is toning the audience down, and uh. WHY?) or they mellow out Keith, which is impossible without Shiro there. You could get this to work though, it's just a lot of writing and time that needs to be devoted. But they had a bonding moment! If you want it to happen it can work.

The reason I started with Lance ships is that obviously, he's our audience-relatable character. Having HIM be in a relationship is really engaging for viewers because in some sense, Lance is US. That said, if you want a little background arc that doesn't require focus and isn't central narratively speaking, nab other characters and make them kiss like barbie dolls! This is where your Hunk and Pidge relationships slot in. Just have a background slow burn! Those are always fun and don't require AS MUCH time.

But, are there some non-Lance options for ships that can build off of existing dynamics then? Well, let's stick with Allura for a second. If you wanted her and Shiro to be in a relationship you'd be working from ground up starting at literally nothing, same as any other ship excluding Lance/Allura or Lance/Keith. But you could make it work by inserting some tension between them, maybe over leadership, maybe over the Galra, something like that.

Which brings me to the Canon Of Yore aka Allura and Keith. Who were a couple in Ancient Days Voltron. I WILL get into my personal opinion on this one in a second, but let's assess feasibility. They're VERY similar characters, they're presented as foils to each other in season 2. You'd need to work hard on this because they're SO similar, and it would've been EASIER if Allura had been in the red lion, but it is hard for these two. Especially because you need to deal with the fact that uh. Well. Allura's entire culture got wiped out by uh. Well. Keith's kinda people*

It is DOABLE to have them work through that. But it is hard to do well without implying that Allura should like. Get Over It. And she shouldn't! Her whole culture was ERADICATED. She deserves to mourn, to feel the scope of her loss, and to be with someone who CAN just understand that and understand her and not exacerbate the pain.

And this brings me to the duo that is basically the only real interpersonal relationship in the show. Aka Keith and Shiro. You may be thinking to yourself "Shoe did Keith say Shiro is like his brother in the Blade of Marmora episode?" To which I would respond "I said the first girl I ever had a crush on was like my sister to many people this really isn't an obstacle if you want it to happen"

Jokes aside you could make this work with really minimal effort! Mostly because these two have a relationship with significantly more depth than anyone else already, all it'd take to have it read romantically is just to have Shiro like. Blush or something. They have a great dynamic where they are only ever vulnerable with each other. Shiro reigns Keith in, Keith gives Shiro an outlet for his pain. Shiro supports everyone where Keith supports him entirely, Keith will strike out on his own except that Shiro will always be there. This is a great dynamic for a friendship or for a romantic relationship. You can go anywhere with this! They're established to know each other so well even before the show starts, they HAVE something, if you're a writer you can do a lot with that.

If I was a particularly lazy writer and wanted props for a gay relationship without ACTUALLY having to do a lot of work, I'd just keep everything as is with like the barest minimum of effort and then show them holding hands in the epilogue and all their interactions retrospectively look romantic. It's a very low maintenance relationship, if you don't want to do real work.

As to what I personally would go for, I really don't care. I think that ANYTHING I mentioned would work great in different narrative contexts, I think that a competent writer could make me love ANY of them! Are these writers competent? NO. So I very much fear that we'll get Allura kissing Lance as a reward and I'll be very upset. So. Yeah. That's that.

*this is why I don't love Zuko and Katara as a ship in Avatar the Last Airbender btw. I just. There's something that activates my fight or flight in the concept of a woman who once hated a man who is the face of a colonial empire that has ravaged her culture and killed her family falling in love with him no holds barred no reservations. The power dynamic just. Unsettles me. Them getting to a point of mutual respect and friendship I can understand, but a romantic relationship and involvement is. Just so fraught that I think no children's show could handle that with any sort of grace.

SEE Y'ALL NEXT TIMEEEEEEE

#voltron #liveblogging #liveblogging voltron #voltron legendary defender #keith kogane #lance mcclain #shiro #takashi shirogane #princess allura #allura #Shipping is hard dawg #Writing romance is hard #I have no horse in this race I just like exploring hypotheticals #Please don't murk me real voltron fan veterans I am NEW HERE #I'm still reeling that Keith's dad is this yeehaw ass southern fried motherfucker #Keith's dad drinks Southern Comfort and has a cowboy hat #I'm crying

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