#back on my podcast bullshit

[glassfullofsass]

Do you like Tamora Pierce? Do you like horror?

I've convinced Leverage watchers to listen to TSCoSI (and vice versa), now let's see if I can convince my Tortall babes to listen to The Harrowing of Minerva Damson.

Prepare for: Lady knights! Magic! Powerful cat-shaped creatures! Monsters!

Did you read In the Hand of the Goddess and think "but what if it was only the bits where they fight the Tusaines over the River Dell? What if the monsters were here already? What if Roger was only a shape in the mist but still as evil and powerful?" Did you get to Lady Knight and say "Yes, more death. More unkillable creatures. More terror."?

Listen to S1, The Knight of the Unquiet Dead. Trench warfare. Vampires. Sorcerers. Ghouls. A magical cat. Made up magical spells that work by the power of friendship and sheer necessity. A Lady Knight (Minerva) who Is The Authority Here, Thank You, and also is So Tired (TM). Alanna's personality facing Kel's war.

Not quite ready to commit, but horror is your flavor?

Try the first inter-season arc, Chevalier, which features the same setting but different characters. One necromancer, two Lady Knights, three magical horses, four (?) vampires (and some nauseating gore), and healing from your grief by learning to survive. Still a lot of those Alanna and Kel vibes, but also giving Bekka Cooper: gritty, dark, bare-knuckled and bloody. Cat not included.

Missing the cat?

It's back in S2, Black as Knight. It's smug, dangerous, and clever, but so is our returning heroine Minerva. Also my TMA girlies will feel right at home in the cave episodes (Buried babes can I get an amen?). A friendly (and dilf-able) werewolf garwalf, binding terms and conditions, gargoyles tearing the absolute shit out of some soldiers. Again, giving Alanna in her Rides era, but put that attitude in the plot of Rampant. Also giving Kel's willingness to sacrifice just about anything to save people.

Need a different pace?

Inter-season arc 2, Goliad Gabby is all Verlidaine (just Daine) Sarrasri. The plot is literally country bumpkin sharpshooter slays the big bad monster with help from her trusty animal companions. There's even a real rom-com shaped happily-ever-after for this one! (for real though. The gore? a little icky. The Big Romantic Speech? I couldn't make it through.) Gabriella Gabby is just your average Texas Trickshot, until the Order of Joan recruits her personally to put her skills to use. Also reminded of Bekka's grit here too. No isn't really an answer when there's work to be done.

Now, I have read Circle, but I don't have those stories soaked into my bones well enough to pull comparisons out as readily... I will say the very grim and horrific realities of war that Pierce digs her pen into in Melting Stones and Battle Magic are very present throughout the podcast. It's labeled horror for a reason. Check the CWs and take care of yourselves <3

Also, did I mention, the premise of the universe is based on Joan of Arc inspiring a cloister of nuns to become knights and fight monsters?

The production team has more projects in the works, and hopefully the third Minerva season will be released in the next few months (early 2024). They have a website, patreon, instagram, a rather defunct tumblr (@the-joaniverse), and all the usual podcast platforms.

[samglyph]

Careful there, Artie. Getting awfully close.

[themaidenofwords]

Ya'know, we all seem to be joking about how Jon and Martin are a little *too* into the whole "Ceaseless Watcher turn your gaze upon this guy I don't like" thing from season five, but I don't know if we actually acknowledge why they're like that.

Jon of course is the one to first realize that A.) he has the power to destroy his enemies and B.) He's excited about it. This is the man that has spent YEARS playing the part of "Avatars' punching bag". There have been points in time where he tried to directly fight back against the manipulation and threats to him and his friends (the Not!Sasha table incident) but those attempts to fight back always backfired. Every time Jon has taken initiative or taken an offensive stance it has only ended with one of his friends dead or another scar on his body. He has had years to become intimately acquainted with what it means to be helpless.

So, in season five, when he suddenly has the power to take revenge-- to take the reigns of fate into his own hands for once-- of course he jumps at the chance. But remember that after the first couple attempts at revenge he is the one to admit that he needs to stop. The declared reason was mostly due to the fact that Jon was trying to keep a hold of his humanity, but I think that Jon actually just realized that he still wasn't in control. His grand rebellion and his final moment of power didn't actually mean anything because his powers were only due to-- and likely approved by-- the Watcher. He still wasn't the one in control. He finally had his chance to fight back, but he wasn't allowed his own autonomy while doing it.

As for Martin, I think there's something similar there. Of course, Martin's dark side is generally a little surprising (even though we see glimpses of it in his stand off with Elias) but Martin has been through most of the same experiences as Jon. He has been helpless-- or at least VIEWED as helpless-- and he had the additional burden of having to maintain his cheerfulness throughout. He watched his friends fall apart around him, he watched Jon fall apart in front of his eyes, and there was nothing he could do. His mother hated him because of something he couldn't control, and he had no ability to help the people he cared about. The most Martin was able to do to "protect" his friends was to distance himself and even that didn't work out in the end.

So, yeah, both Jon and Martin's reactions to suddenly having the ability to fight back and take control for once is extremely understandable.

[friendcrumbs]

taking a break from toxic lovecraft divorce (movie) posting to toxic lovecraft divorce (podcast) post. please click on it i made the dimensions weird so it's crunchy. closeups and alt design for john under the cut.

[kikkomansoymilk]

John: Between you and Yellow I think you were the monster and I'm glad I'm nothing like you

Arthur: I literally cannot stand to listen to a single decible of your voice any longer you naive, ignorant parasite

literally 2 episodes later

Arthur: hey do you wanna go to dinner after this?

John: yea? like a date?

[mandaliciously]

And miles and miles and miles to go

[constellationsandvolcanoes]

if you see something, say nothing 👁️

[lazy-toad]

Ok ok something about the parallels between Larson and Arthur, something about Addison representing the monstrous inside Larson and Faroe representing the humanity inside Arthur

[operationslipperypuppet]

the goddamn emotional turmoil that is 1x65: ashes to ashes

[emodennis]

HUH???

[mxalexwhat]

My facial journey while listening to The Nightmare

😌😳😱😰🤐😰👀🫨😰😩😭😣🙃😭👀😖😒🥺🤡😏🥺👀😳😵‍💫🥺👀😠🤨😳😰😐🤨😳😭😢🥺😌👀🤡😏👀😏😐🙃😵‍💫🫨😐😵‍💫🫨😶🤨🥺😔😒😔😞🤔🥺😭🥺😭🥺😔🥺😳👀😒😠🥺😠🥺🤡😠🤨😟😵‍💫🤨👀🤨🥺😔😥😔😐😬😰😥🥺😒😠🤡😒🥺😔😠😒😏🤡😂🤨😰🥺🥹😭🤡😏😥😧😰😬😳😰😵🫨😬😨😳😰☹️🤨😥😍🥰😦😰🤯😰😬😳😟😬🤡😱

🫠

[ghosteso]

Hozier is actually so Ghost Wax coded sorry I don’t make the rules.

[bones-edition]

I've described Kayne Malevolent to my sibling as "Bill Cipher if he wasn't a triangle, but like, 137% more homicidal, 83% more insane, and about 2000% percent more powerful."

And I think that's a very accurate description.

[core-cosmos]

Give it up folks, for the Sexyman Rematch winner!

[transzilla]

sooo i’ve always wondered. what drinks should i get if i wanna look like a man? i’m always worried to order at bars. afraid I’ll look like too much of a pansy <3

To be honest I think if you just order something classy like a tom collins or gin tonic instead of like a frat boy drink you just look like severe enough of an alcoholic that it comes off as like haww my bitch ex wife masculine, like to me shit like vodka shots and fireball is a pussy ass drink even though people hype it up because it's like... a teenager drink. Like jesus christ shots of fireball... like a cinnamon jelly bean has a higher alcohol content than that and honestly less sugar. Personally I'm not a mixed drink person, sipping on straight liquor is always a pretty ballsy move and people are like woww he can drink without making a face, i like whiskey over rocks or tbh I am a big scotch guy so I like drinking that just straight with no ice. If you want to look masculine drinking a beer is ok but like... don't drink beer at a bar just buy a pack. you'll go broke. I also harshly judge people who can't get drunk without spiking soda or juice. Like you're already drinking alcohol give your poor circulation system a break with the sugary shit. Like we have drugs if you don't like the taste of alcohol stop with the whipped cream blueberry ipa shit. Just don't drink like a MIDDLE SCHOOLER

[whipped-peaches]

Arc 8 of unprepared Casters be like