#back on my gif bullshit lads

[malakaie]

HISTORY OF VIOLENCE - Evolution of the House of Black #70 AEW Dynamite, 02.02.2022 - Kings of the Black Throne def. Death Triangle

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || 141 x reader

[ Chapter 4 ] || [ Chapter 6 ]

Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.3K~ tags: a little bit of angst in this one, mentions of infidelity, also, Price is divorced. Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you?

Chapter 5: GET LAID?

[The scolding Price gives is fully inspired by Captain Holt from B99]

“YOU. DID. WHAT?!” Price’s voice was so loud it bounced off the walls and Soap could swear the door was rattling.

The environment inside of Price’s tiny little office was beyond tense. Gaz sat across from Price on the arm chair, with his hands clasped over his lap. Soap stood beside him, hands on the back of the other chair, constantly shuffling and readjusting. And Ghost was all the way in the back of the room, arms crossed and one foot scuffing up the wall he was leaning against.

They looked like a group of kids at the headmaster’s office, getting the reaming of a century and waiting for their parents to come get them, only to get reamed out some more by them. Except they’re grown adults and Price is, in a way, both the headmaster and their father.

Granted, they probably should’ve waited until tomorrow morning when they’re not all a bit buzzed from one too many beers…  It seemed tonight was just one of those nights where they have little to no restraint… and are incapable to be reasoned with.

“If it’s any consolation, I told them you wouldn’t be too keen on 'em buttin' in your life.” Ghost spoke up while dipping his head to the side in a lazy shrug.

This earned him a sharp look from Price, who swivelled on his executive chair, turning a bit to properly face Ghost. The man looked seconds away from blowing up, eyes widened and wild.

“And yet you still HELPED 'EM?!” The Captain scolded him, to which Simon replied with a full shrug.

“They made a compelling case. You’ve been insufferable, boss.” He remarked, causing Price to sputter a bit.

“I didn’t wanna say anything, but it’s true, Captain. You need to get laid.” Soap jumped in.

His hackles raised and he stood up, slamming his hands on the desk, causing a rattling in the white mug he used as a pen holder. Gaz couldn’t help but wonder if the Captain didn’t hurt his palms.

“GET LAID?!” Price shouted in a tone almost akin to panic. “MY LOVE LIFE IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN!” Price scolded them all, rausing a hand and pointing his finger at no one in particular. 

“AND I WOULDN’T BE SO INSUFFERABLE IF YOU LOT DID YOUR JOBS. BUT NO, I’M HAVING TO FIX YOUR MESSES AND DEAL WITH ALL THIS BULLSHIT!” He shouted as he ran his hand over a pile of documents on the edge of his desk, sending them all flying to the floor.

None of the lads shook in the face of the Captain’s shouts. They were all used to it, having heard enough of them from other C.O.s in their careers and, especially, more than enough from John in the last year.

Price huffed through his nose and hung his head for a moment. Then, he tossed himself back in his chair, leaning it back and grumbling under his breath.

He sat with his legs parted, left arm over the desk top, the right one hanging limply over his lap. He grumbled under his breath, his mustache scrunching a bit as he raised his right hand to rub his eyes.

“Bloody fuckin’ hell…” Price grumbled and swiveled his chair back toward the desk, inadvertently toward Soap and Gaz as well, setting his elbows on either side of the black desk mat.

He held his head up with both hands, his blue eyes sliding downward to the phone they had set in front of him when explaining what they did, which now sat between his elbows. 

In it was the Tinder profile they had created, the gimmicky, silly little shite that includes grainy photos of him and a bio written in the 3rd person. What impressed him was the fact that somehow, despite only having been active for an hour, according to them, the account had already seen about 35 likes and a handful of DMs from people.

Most of them were curious about the bio, some of them asking a variation of ‘Does John know you made this account?’, etc.

However, it bothered him that they did this behind his back, never once stopping to ask if he needed or wanted their help (AND HE DIDN’T). “You need to delete this.” He ended up saying after a moment of silence.

He grabbed the phone and set it on the edge of his desk to be taken by either Gaz or Soap, with a bit more aggression than he meant to. “Deactivate it, whatever.” He added.

“But, sir-” Soap tried to say, being shushed by Price raising a hand to signal him to quiet down.

“No buts.” He said directly as he raised his head and glared right at Soap. “And you need to tell that person that you already promised a date to that I’m not interested and APOLOGIZE for leading them on.” He ordered.

“Boss… C’mon.” Ghost called for him from his corner, causing John’s head to slowly turn to face him, eyebrows scrunched when he noticed the gaze Simon was sending him.

Cursed be Simon Riley, the only tosser in the entire SAS other than MacMillan, who can read John like the open book that he prides himself in not being.

But of course Simon knows why he’s so reluctant. He was there 5 years ago… when Price called him from his car in a side road somewhere, so drunk that his words were more so obscene slurs than words themselves, spewing mentions of loss and betrayal and a visceral need to cave a man’s face in, of emptying magazine after magazine on his wife’s lover’s body.

Simon went to get him, took the man home to his own shitty little flat, let him sleep off the inebriation in his bed, looked after him just in case he’d choke on his own drunken vomit, and the next afternoon, when Price was more himself, he drove Price to his marital home and helped him pack his bags.

Price stayed at his apartment for almost 6 months before getting his own place. Not that Ghost minded. Returning to the barracks was embarrassing for the Captain… And getting his own place required time and patience, which Price was lacking. 

Eventually, Price signed the divorce papers, the matter was settled, and Price went on leave. Ghost took his as well and helped him settle into a flat, helped him assemble furniture, brought him meals.

Then started Price’s fuckboy era. Which is how Gaz and Soap heard of his proclivity to hook up with people. Gender didn’t matter, so much as getting momentary satisfaction and some of the shadows out of his bones. 

Then, Graves and Shepherd happened… And Price cut it cold turkey. He was pent up. Point blank. Went from getting regular satisfaction to getting nothing and burying himself in his work. Blaming himself for not noticing the signs earlier.

Sometimes Ghost wondered if the man was going through a mid-life crisis.

“You could use it, boss.” Ghost added as he looked Price right in the eyes. “What’s one night, huh? Just going for a drink with them?”

“Simon-” Price tried arguing.

“Please, sir. We promise you’ll like ‘em.” Gaz pleaded. 

“Yeah, sir, we all talked with ‘em and they’re a right laugh.” Soap added.

Taking a deep breath, John leaned back on his chair again and threw his hands in the air again.

“Alright.” He conceded. “BUT!” He interrupted them before they got too giddy. “None of this… Tinder shite.” He gestured vaguely to the phone at the edge of the desk.

“You set up a meet-up this Friday at a pub nearby. No more after that.” He ordered.

“On it!” Gaz said as he snatched the phone from the desk to dm you.

taglist: @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes , @irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @infpt-zylith , @xxshadowbabexx , @frescoisnotinthemilitary , @leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @zombie-freak , @wittleespur , @agoodmoviekiss , @l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind , @neoarchipelago

[aphroditesmoon]

sweet

osferth x warrior!reader

summary: osferth is in love with you but you are not used to receiving this much attention from anyone.

warnings; nsfw(smut), black cat/golden retriever, slight angst, simp osferth, clueless reader.

a/n: back on my osferth bullshit bcs the movie is coming n yet my fave is de@d😻

°°°

You're not exactly sure how you got to be apart of Uhtred's team. Actually that's not true, you remember exactly how.

The four warriors were being attacked by the same Danes that had owned you silver, lots of them. It was a coincident that killing them gave you what you were owed and Uhtred and his men's freedom.

Uhtred had made it his mission then, to find out more about you, wanting to make sure you weren't a spy or threat after noticing that you weren't exactly apart of the danes not christians. After deeming you harmless (at least to them) and incredibly depressingly lonely, he decided to scout you in as one of his men, like a bored man picking up a grumpy wet soggy kitten from the street.

You made sure you were paid more silver than any of the other men, insisting that you're worth more than them by your skills itself, and soon enough, you stuck with them as if you had always been there all along.

You got along well enough with all of them, letting yourself fall gently in the warm feeling of what it's like to have a semblance of a family.

Though with all the intelligence of a skilled warrior you have, you had not noticed the baby monk Osferth's obvious attempt to pursue you for 2 years now.

You admit you like Osferth more than the others. He was respectful, kind, and has never treated you less like any woman should be treated, although some would argue you barely counted as a woman.

Did you like him romantically? You can't say, making it a principle to never yourself aim for a love like that, it's just not for you.

But when the awkwardly charming warrior monk had kissed you during the festive night of Yule eve, your instinct was to immediately push him away from you, receiving a very offended expression followed by stutters I apologies from him before he scrambled away, like a dog kicked by it's owner.

The next day, you received multiple glares from Finan, and sympathetic grins and chuckles from Sihtric and Uhtred who had found this situation all too amusing.

Osferth had started to avoid you almost completely, never making eye contact and never directly speaking to you unless necessary. And it hurt you.

You should apologize, you knew that. But you weren't exactly sure if what to say, your feelings were complicated even to yourself.

It only gets worse when you found out you'll be staying with Osferth during one of your little missions. Arranged in purpose by Uhtred for sure.

When evening arrives, you notice Osferth leaving the pub early, closing himself in your shared room. You shook off your guilt and grabbed the bottle of liquor, walking away to seat yourself by the empty corner of the loud place, seeking for some peace.

If only peace could ever exist in your life.

You tipped the bottle into your mouth again, taking a big chug from it, wishing the ale would taste a little less like shit.

Taking notice of Finan from the side of your eye, you sigh loudly and cursed him out. The man only gave a humourous laugh and sat next to you.

"If this is about Osferth again, then you shouldn't tire yourself-"

"Oh this is definitely about Osferth." He agreed, receiving a groan from you.

"Finan please-" You started, rudely being cut off. "You did a number on him lad, he's been acting like someone just killed his dog and it's been two weeks." His voice was gentler than before, the worry obvious in his voice.

"I didn't mean it." Your mumbled out meekly, eyes drooping. "I didn't mean to push him away."

"Well that settles it the doesn't it?" The Irishman concluded. "Just go apologize and hump him." You snorted at his easygoing response and shook your head.

"He doesn't just want to hump, he wants to love." You clarify. "And that's so bad, why? I've seen you staring at him like he's made of sunshine and rainbows laddie, I'd thought you'd be happy to have him feel the same way."

You wince at his words, hating the sappy description of yourself that he gave. Rainbows and sunshine.

"Because it doesn't make sense does it? Of course I'd like him, he's kind, and sweet, and everything I don't deserve, everything I am not."

You speak the last word like a curse, a bitter taste on your tongue.

Glancing towards the half drunk Irish, you almost hate yourself for saying what you did, the pity in his eyes was worse than any insult you've had thrown your way.

"You carried Aelfwynn on your back while she was sick and lied to everyone about getting sick from her just so she'd have a chance to reach the royal healers, you've put yourself in front of the lady Aethelflaed to protect her more time than anyone could count, hell you've done it for Osferth more time than he could remember.

- So if you say you're not deserving of kindness and sweetness one more time, I'll make sure to hide the biggest frogs in your bathwater as a punishment."

His voice was teasing, but his eyes were set on you, narrowing down like a nagging father, and you almost hugged him there and then.

"Yeah whatever." You shrugged and look away.

You hear him sigh loudly, as if to prove a point and tried to hide your small smile.

"I should apologize." You repeated your early statement. Rubbing your face tiredly, the liquor doing a terrible job intoxicating you. "Yeah, and you should hump-"

"Goodnight Finan, I'm not listening to you anymore!" You exclaimed loudly and annoyed while getting up on your feet to retire to your small room.

The walk to your room was short but it felt like forever, standing in front of the door, you take a moment to collect some thoughts and steady your heartbeat before turning the knob open.

You feel relieved as you step in, seeing that Osferth was still awake, sitting by his side of the bed, folding in his dirty clothes.

He must've just bathed, you thought to yourself. When you walk closer you notice that his hair was damp, confirming your suspicions.

He acted as if he didn't hear you, but you know he did.

"Osferth." You called out, voice weaker than you intended it to be, almost like you're pleading him.

The silence was agonizing before he responds, you see him stiffen. "Yes?"

You hated how much more confident he sounded than you, but you were the one who owed an apology, so you force your ego aside and placed yourself next to him on the bed.

"I um- I wanted to, apologize?" There was that stuttering now. He raised an eyebrow at you and you feel your face burn.

"Apologize. Yes, I wanted to apologize." Getting your breath under control, you try to appear more put together.

His eyes look away from you and move down to stare at the floorboards. "Whatever for?" He asks, sounding uninterested.

"For pushing you away, when you...kissed me." You answer.

You were watching for his reaction like a hawk eyeing it's prey, feeling uneasy and scared. "Oh, tis not your fault, twas' mine, I should've asked." He says kindly, his old warmth returning to his voice.

"But it's not, nothing could ever be your fault Osferth, You've no foible and if anything your flaw is being too good and having no flaw-"

"Do you think you could ever love me?" He cuts you off, a demanding tone.

You turn silent from your rant, heartbeat fastening. "But why? Why me?" You breath out.

"Osferth-" You start, standing up to face his seated self. "-You could have many lovely beautiful woman to love you the way you deserve, I'm sure of it, we've all seen how they fight for you." You insist.

His face turns into a frown and he stands up along with you, face inches apart from yours. "I don't want anyone else, you're the only lovely beautiful woman I want." He snapped.

You grow frustrated at his statement and turn to walk in circles, not meeting his gaze.

"But why? I am not beautiful or ladylike- and don't tell me I'm wrong, I hear things too- and I'm not kind enough to those around me as I should be, and I am, god, so terribly, terribly horrible in my moral compass Osferth.

- Why would you want to be with someone so miserable?", You point out with a humourless laugh, feeling so vulnerable and pathetic you could break in an instance.

You feel his hands grip your shoulders to look at him as he stops you from pacing around.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to convince you that you're all I think about, you are the most beautiful piece of art to me, and to have your heart, to be able to love you the way you deserve, is all I'll ever wish for in this lifetime."

You would've asked him if he had practiced that if you weren't so shaken by those words, so baffled.

"Don't be ridiculous Osferth, what- tell me, who you'd choose between me and Eadith, or me and that redhead from last night- or the lady Aethelflaed herself?" You hated how much self pity you were drowning in, all the insecurities you've worked so hard to push down, to look past from yourself.

"You. You, you and you." His response was quick and without hesitation. You wanted to kill him for that's or kiss him, you couldn't decide.

"I would choose you over anyone because there is no one else for me, can't you see?"

He was staring at you with stars in his eyes and his breath was hot on your face.

You couldn't remember when or how it happened, but all you knew was that one if you had leaned forwards and your lips became one with eachother's.

There was no regret in yourself, letting your fans wrap around his neck whilst he moves one arm to hold you by your waits and the other cupping your cheeks.

Your fingers move to tangle in his hair as you let your mouth open slightly for your tongues to dance together.

You pressed your faces harder if it was possible devouring the taste you've been forbidding yourself to take a bite from. His arms around your back tightens and soon you feel both his hands move down to the back of your thighs and you instinctively jump to wrap your legs around him.

He groans in the kiss, palms full holding squeezing your ass. You let a rare growl escape you as you feel yourself tighten around him.

Walking you back to the bed, you don't release your hold over him even when he lays you down on the bed.

Your hands roam wild at his body, grasping at his new tunic to be taken off. He gets the message immediately, pulling away to pull it over his head before going back to sucking lips with you.

You feel his own hands wandering around your body, exploring your untouched haven. He dips his hand inside the collar of your own shirt and rips it off easily, earning a shocked gasp from you.

"Didn't think you had that in you." You joked breathlessly. He gives a small shy smile as he pushes you to lay back down on the pillow. "You have no idea how many other things you've awakened inside of me."

His lips trail down your neck, biting and sucking at your sensitive spot while his hands have their fun squeezing and palming your breasts.

You let out a wild moan, throwing your head back, your nails, trying their best not to leave marks on his back.

"Fuck you're stunning." He swears, also rare occasion. You feel your cunt clench at his words an thrusts up your hips to meet his, receiving a strained groan from the man.

Not relenting in his torture on your tits, he releases one of them to move his hand between your legs, palming your drenched cunt between the thin barrier of your underwear.

"Osferth- please." You whined, rutting againts his hand like a dog in heat.

He only uses his hands to palm you harder, bringing you to tears as you search for friction. "That's it angel, fuck my hand." He groans out, entranced by the sight of you, glistening in sweat and fucking yourself on him in all your beautiful glory.

Both your arms are above you head now, gripping hard on the furs as you grind harder on his hand, clenching on nothing, feeling your orgasm nearing.

He rubs a finger on you clit furiously and you feel yourself explode on him, eyes blurry as you cried out his name repeatedly, a prayer answered.

Feeling yourself come down from your high, your body relaxes againts his bed and your head spins with euphoria. Osferth wipes his hand off before climbing over to lay next to you.

Your head finds comfort on his chest as his hands finds home around your body. It was dizzying, what just happened. And it was most probably the best hump you've ever had, not that you make it a habit to hump around.

You glace up to meet his eyes, already gazing down at you with a small smile accompanying them. "Does this mean you've forgiven me?", You jest and his smile widens as he leans forward and kisses your forehead. "Only if you promise to let me love you." He bargains.

You feel a grin making itself known and let out an unfamiliar giggle, "You're so sweet it's nauseating."

[alpydk]

Poor Lad (Rugan)

Just a quick (apparently fever dream idea I had at some point that I'm writing up. Hopefully will appease the Zhentarim inside me.)

***

It’s a warm day in Baldur’s Gate as Rugan stands in the small cemetery. The sounds of the circus nearby can be heard, the laughter of children, the cacophony of various instruments being played. He’s stood there for some time looking at the relatively new tombstone that juts out of the freshly dug earth. His leather armour has been replaced with a black cotton shirt and his once cleanly shaven face now sports the start of an emerging beard, a failing attempt at a disguise as he wanders the streets of the city.  

“Gods, I’ve been standing here ages trying to come up with the words. Ain’t I meant to have some big farewell lined up? You know, flowers or something? I’ll have a pint for you later if anything. Hopefully, that’ll do.” His words are casual, not the type for baring feelings or dragging out long goodbyes.

“Roah’s leading the guild now. Yeah, you remember that big hero that got us out of that cave? Turns out they weren’t all glowing halos and bullshit like we thought they were, ended up taking down Nine-Fingers and stuck her in charge. Bit of a surprise if you ask me, you know after they showed up and took care of Zarys and… well, you know what happened.” He looks away catching the glimpse of a small bird that flutters nearby. “I offered to meet up with them if they ever got to the city but I've not seen head nor hide of them since we got here. They’re probably off saving the world or something. A real shame as they owe us half the profit from selling that chest we had, though I’m not so sure it’s worth the gold now.” He swallows hard, trying to bury the guilt. Yeah, that pint’ll do nicely, maybe a bottle of whiskey to chase it down too…

He passes a quick gaze back over the stone, knowing the words he should be saying, the ones he’s been trying to avoid for too long. “You know Olly, I was a right prick that day. Should’ve just done the job, got in got out like always, kept my head down. But mate, it gets exhausting following the rules all the time. I wanted an out, a bit of peace, maybe a nice bird to rock home to. Instead, I fucked it up and got you killed.” 

He kicks a stone up with his boot, watching as it bounces along the grass past the grave. “You were an alright lad, proper head on your shoulders, could’ve gone far with the right person behind you. Shame you didn’t have that though.” He takes one last look at the stone, staring at the dates and doing a quick calculation of the age stated. “Fuck," he sighs. "I’m sorry, alright. I should’ve done better by you.”

He rolls his neck, loosening up the tension that’s set in before relaxing his shoulders and turning away. “I’ll see you at the tavern later, mate. Have a good one.”

[leadandblood]

RE drunkJop: this also gives Crozier's own drinking issues such an intriguing flavour because ofc the captain cannot be flogged so. Jop having to deal with that, maybe with resentment. Who knows maybe he himself had gotten drunk because he was done with Crozier's bullshit. Or meaning to do away with the recent bottle. (dont mind me I am just rattling the bars of your braincells' cage so that they may run free)

*the cage breaks open and my braincells scatter in every direction like this:*

IT'S EVEN SUPPORTED BY THE SHOW IN A WAY. At least in my humble reading of it.

We all know Nedward is mad when Crozier drinks but (although subtly) Jopson hates it just as much. You can see it if you pay attention to him enough. He's not exactly angry, but he HATES it when Crozier is drunk. I've made a post about it before i think *furious searching* found this one at short notice but i've definitely made more. He absolutely HATES it.

When Francis punches Fitzjames, Tom just leans against a cabinet and stays there, breathing like he's trying to calm down.

The little pause and a big eyed look before he says "two bottles, sir" has been haunting me since i thought abt it too hard one day.

A good reason for this attitude towards Crozier when he's drunk would be the "i got lashed for less and here he is still in command of a ship" attitude, or maybe, from another angle, it may be "oh my god Captin what the FUCK are you doing" thoughts.

Since he would have been just 23 (which is Insane to me HE WAS SO YOUNG WJAT THE FUWK) and the drunkenness was on duty AND severe enough for 36 lashes (jesus...) it must have been REALLY BAD i reckon.

Of course if we take the show canon, then he may be drinking because of his mother. He left her there, hand maimed, with his brother... Must have felt terrible the poor lad. Even though she wanted him to go, he might have had second thoughts. Maybe felt like like he shouldn't have left.

I think that's a really good reason.

But. If we diverge fron that a bit and step aside for a moment... Take a breather...

I think Crozier's (very bad) love language is giving people way too many/hard tasks. I SWEAR i just saw a post about it recently but i cannot for the life of me find it. How Crozier puts Little under so much preassure Because he loves and trusts him. Maybe he was doing that and more to Jopson during the Antarctic expedition. Maybe Jopson just couldn't handle the work/stress/preassure/whatever Crozier was putting him through at 23. But he was too proud to admit it/didn't want to disappoint him, so he turned to drinking. Maybe he thought nobody would notice? But then it got out of hand.

Two ways this could've gone after the lashing.

The way he's quick to fulfil commands in the show could be "you can't break me again, not like back then" kind of quiet, invisible defiance. He might think it wasn't deserved or at least not to such an extent and hold some resentment toward Crozier for it.

On the other hand he could be trying to prove to him that he's Better now and he's Stronger now and More Capable, Look, Daddy, Look At Me Aren't I So Much Better Now. Could be trying to undo all the shame from disappointing him back then with being the perfect steward now, going above and beyond although he doesn't need to.

Really an interesting thing to think about, to me. Which way did he swing? I need to think more abt this. Anyway.

It would also explain why he doesn't drink in the show! Since drinking on the job was the source of his previous punishment he'd be more likely to decline that shot from Blanky.

Then! Crozier goes dry and Teeheehee Just Like Meeee 🥰🥰 Ofc I'll Help You Get There Captiiin 🥰 And he might get a sick little kick out of it at first, because it finally feels like justice.

But then it goes on for one day too many and it's painful to watch and he starts feeling really bad for Francis. Like it's his fault Crozier's suffering so badly and he stays beside his bed for so many hours of the day and guards him so fiercly because he feels like he somehow caused it. And he doesn't want people to see the captain that way. He wants everyone to respect him and maybe to Jopson this would be the worst thing to come out of it. People not respecting Crozier.

Because nobody could understand his suffering like Jopson does of course! Nobody at all! And least of all Edward who's never had such problems but Tommy and Francis ooh they have so much in common now! He'd be insufferable about it.

(I've played with the thought of drunk Jopson in the fic, but not that much and i would love to expand on it... The Antarctic expedition in '39 would be the best way to do that it seems *sinister laughter*)

Moving on though. Timeskip!

When scurvy takes over him and his lash wounds open again he's really brave (stupid) about it and doesn't tell anyone. But it Hurts so fucking bad. So then he tells Bridgens, whom he trusts not to tell anyone and also to help him. Bridgens dresses his wounds and tells him to "Rest for god's sake". But we know Jopson ://

He doesn't rest and it gets worse and worse and he gets weak really fast until he falls while hauling one day and doesn't get up.

Crozier feels like Shit because well He Supervised that lashing. He's the Cause of this. He could've probably Stopped it, but he Didn't. He may have even ordered that lashing to be done. Oooh he'd feel so fucking miserable.

This is giving "300k fic" vibes and i don't know if im ready for that but GOD i so want to write it now. Thank you for stirring these thoughts, Anon 💖💖🙇

[masonmountt19]

I LOVE YOU

Summary: Mason has been going out almost every weekend instead of hanging out with you so you confront him

Warnings: little angst, no happy ending

It was 4pm on a Friday afternoon when you arrived home from a long day of hard work. Mason had training that day but texted you saying he was going to visit his parents and will be home around 6pm. You decided to clean the house before making the dinner, you thought you could make Masons favourite dinner and watch a movie when he comes back as the both of yous haven't done that in a while.

Just a bit after 6pm Mason arrived home, you heard him drop his bag down by the front door which you hate but didn't mind it as he was probably tired from training. 'hey babe' Mason said before heading straight up the stairs which didn't give you a chance to say anything back. Weird you thought but you follow him up the stairs. 'Mase,where are you' you said, 'in the bedroom' he replied. You open the door and see him changing into nice clothes. 'Where are you going Mase?' , 'Me and the lads are going out to the club tonight, you can come if you want but none of their gfs are going' .

'When are you going to spend at least one weekend with me and not going out with the boys all the time Mase, I've just made your favourite dinner and then was thinking about watching a movie or something but no you decide to go spend your night with the boys instead of me, do you know how that makes me feel?, I feel so insecure seeing all those girls your with when I'm not with you Mase, I love you and right now it doesn't feel like you love me'. ' Y/n I'm so sorry you feel like that love, I didn't know you would feel like that and I should've known and I'm sorry and I do love you, but this is the last time I will go out with the lads without you,ok ?'. 'No Mase it isn't ok , if you walk out that door I will not be here when come back, I'm not having this anymore'. ' I'm sorry y/n but me and the lads have already decided that we will go out tonight, I promise I will make it up to you tomorrow and everyday '. 'You know what, do what you want to do, I don't care anymore, have fun Mase' you said walking out of your shared bedroom slamming the door. 'You know what, maybe I will ' Mason said to himself.

As you were eating your dinner on your phone you then heard Mason coming downstairs, grabbing his keys and slamming the front door. 'Bye then I guess, dickhead' you whispered to yourself. An hour later turns into 2 hours and soon enough it is 12am. You've had enough of this bullshit so you called Mason 10 times which he didn't pick up at all, you called all his other friends he's with loads of times and they didn't answer at all. As you are scrolling on Instagram you seena picture you had hope to never see on Ben Chilwells close friends story.

Tears had start to form in your eyes. 'I can't do this anymore' you said before running upstairs and packing everything you owned while leaving the hoodies and football shirts Mason had let you wear in his wardrobe. Walking downstairs you looked for a piece of paper to write a note for Mason.

Dear Mason, I did warn you about walking out that door, and what do you do? you walk out the door. I honestly can't do this anymore Mase, you are always training on the weekdays and when you have free time you spend it with your friends instead of me and your family, you are allowed to spend time with your friends but you never spend time with me anymore, I love you so much but right now I don't know anymore as you aren't showing me love anymore Mase, you know my past and right now it feels like deja vu. I'm sorry Mase but we should break up, its for the best.We could of sorted this out if you had listened to me earlier. Dont bothered trying to text or call me or my friends and family as this is all your fault.

From y/n.

You grabbed all your stuff, took your key for Masons house and left it by the note and walked out of the house, heading to Kai and Sophias house.

Masons Pov

I didn't realise it was 3am until I got home. I knew something was up when I didn't y/n car in the driveway and no lights were on and no curtains/blinds were closed. I walked through the door and into the kitchen when I saw a note on the counter. My stomach dropped when I read it.

Dear Mason, I did warn you about walking out that door, and what do you do? you walk out the door. I honestly can't do this anymore Mase, you are always training on the weekdays and when you have free time you spend it with your friends instead of me and your family, you are allowed to spend time with your friends but you never spend time with me anymore, I love you so much but right now I don't know anymore as you aren't showing me love anymore Mase, you know my past and right now it feels like deja vu. I'm sorry Mase but we should break up, its for the best.We could of sorted this out if you had listened to me earlier. Dont bothered trying to text or call me or my friends and family as this is all your fault.

From y/n.

'No she can't be serious, I can't belive I've fucked up, I love her, I really do' I said begging to cry

[soutcftime]

Boyfriend - Jake (sweetbitter) x Reader.

SUMMARY: Congratulations! You get a boyfriend. But how Jake would feel about that? It supposed you are not a thing so he shouldn't be mad, right?... Right?

NOTES: This was inspired by AI! Jake. Thank you AI! Jake, you made my night.

RANTING: E

WARNING: age gap (young reader), walking red flag Jake, jealous Jake, this is, again, very questionable. Smut written by Asexuals ™

-

"Jake"

You were just starting your shift when you approach to him. You were the new girl for a while, and of course, you fell into his charms.

Honestly, it was very out of yourself doing that. You hate the one night shit. And you were absolutely tired of it. No more bullshit to your life.

So, you decided, you were going to give a chance to the beautiful rugby lad from your university. He was sweet and nice, and really good playing rugby. And, better than anything, your father approved him. It was all you need to accept being his girlfriend.

No more casual encounters, no more sex in a bathroom, nor in the back of an ugly bar. No. More. Jake.

"Hm?" Jake doesn't even look at you, he seems very concentrate on cutting the lemons.

"I have to tell you something" you don't even know why do you say it like that. Like it's something really important and you need to have all his attention.

Perhaps Ari was right and you were nothing but an attention whore. Damn.

"What is it?" he glances at you. A curious glance.

"I have a boyfriend"

He blinks at you for a moment and then burst out a laugh.

"I'm sorry, am I supposed to be sad now or...?" he shakes his head, walking away from you. He had to attend the rest of the bar.

You feel your cheeks burning, an horrible feeling climbing your whole body. Humiliation.

Yeah, well. Maybe you deserved it. Why would Jake even care about it?

You sigh in resignation. Better focus on the job.

The job by his side. The whole night.

Now, why did you never listen to your dad? “bartending is shit, (Y/n). Get a real job.” Fucking old man was right.

"Can I know why did you tell me that?" you were cleaning the cups to put it on its place when he approached. You shrugged.

"Jesus Christ, Jake. I only told you that to make it clear that we cannot continue... you know..."

"Fuckin?" he finishes your sentence with a smirk.

You nod.

"Well, I don't care if you have 5 boyfriends right now. I'm still gonna ask you to come home with me tonight" he rests on the bar. His stupid smirk there on his lips.

You frown, who did he think you were?

"I'm going to say no, Jake. I'm being serious about this" he chuckles at your statement.

"Just for tonight, babe. You're not cheating if no one knows, right?" he raise his hand to touch slightly your chin. Just a little touch.

There was no way you are thinking about the proposal. No way, the rugby lad was decent. He likes you and you like him back. Stop it.

Well...

"It's still cheating if you and I know the truth, Jake" you arch your eyebrows, trying to prove your point.

Jake chuckles softly, dropping his arm at his side with a sigh.

"Alright, then. If you're so faithful to your boyfriend, just give me a kiss" you blink twice.

"Jake, I'm not--" you shut, just looking at him for a moment. "I won't..." you can't keep talking, so you just sigh and kiss his cheek briefly. "There. Happy now?"

Jake smiles, tilting his head to look at you properly.

"Good girl. Now..." he grabs your hand gently, caressing it with his thumb. "Come with me, your boyfriend will never know anything." he take a step closer, looking at you with his stupid puppy eyes.

"You are insufferable, Jake" you say instead. But you don't say an explicit no.

Jake takes it as a win.

"Yup, and you love it. Right?" he lets go your hand. A winning smile on his lips.

"I don't" but of course, you were lying. That was kinda fun, cause you were terrible at lying too.

"Yeah, you do. Stop deny it." he laughs softly, taking his steps back to his place of work. "Come with me tonight. Not to the club, my home" he propose.

And of course, you are going to say no. Because you have a boyfriend and you like him... right?

"Fucking hell" you say instead, nodding at his proposal.

-

Jake's flat is absolutely comfortable, and you really like it. The soft music on the back, the books, the posters. All of it. Even the plants that Jake loves.

You hate yourself for being there, anyway. You shouldn't. It was wrong. And you were going to break some poor boy heart just because you can't stay away from... him.

And even so, you accept the cup of wine that Jake gives to you. It's weirdly domestic. Too odd.

"So..." he says, lighting a cigarette for himself as he sits besides you on the couch. He left the cup rest on the little table in front of you. "I don't talk to you for a day and you get yourself a boyfriend? That's interesting" he smirk, holding the cigarette between his lips.

"Fuck off" you roll your eyes. It hasn't been a day, it has been a whole month.

He went to somewhere with Simone for vacations and didn't call at all. But that was okay, because you and him weren't dating. You were focusing on your studies and the job on the restaurant. That was all.

"Tell me about him, please. I'm dying to know" he release the smoke with a smirk. You can hear the sarcastic tone on his voice, so you don't answer to that.

"What's his name?" he insist, resting his foots on the table too.

You sigh. "His name is..."

Jake snores, loudly. Then he release the smoke again. Right into your face.

"Jesus, Jake. You're five" you finish your drink with one gulp.

"Oh, please. I don't care about your boyfriend at all, (Y/n). I only care about you and the fact that suddenly you decided to date a man" another man, Jake thought.

"I think I remember you said you don't care about me at all the last time we've been together" you raise your eyebrows, amused. "What? Are you going to tell me you're jealous now?" you tease him, turning around to face him.

He frowns, letting the cigarette rest on the table. "Yeah. I'm jealous as hell" he turns to face you. Two big hands grabbing your waist and pinning you into the couch. "I don't want anyone to have you, specially your stupid boyfriend. You should be mine"

He was talking dead serious, looking at your eyes with nothing but annoyance. He means it.

"No, you just angry because someone face you to say no. That's why." you remove his hands easily, pushing him away as you move to stand up. " You can't accept the idea of a simple no. Well let me tell you something, Jake. I'm not like the others girls that fall with your charm. Or your angry face. Or your puppy eyes"

Jake's angry face changes to an amused one. Raised eyebrow and smirk. You look at him for a moment, confused.

"Is that so?" he says, his voice sounding roughly and deep. "If you're so devoted to him, what are you doing here?" he asks, raising one hand to grab your hip and drag your body to his lap.

And you do.

Now, you were sitting peacefully in his lap like the good girl you were.

"Why would you be here if isn't because you want this as much as I want it? I want you to be mine" he was already kissing your neck as he continue talking.

Fuck, you really shouldn't.

But Jake touches you so gently, caressing your back until his fingers find the clasp of your brassier and release your boobs free under your shirt.

"And, honestly, I would miss your little cunt around my cock" you whimper with the statement, melting with his kisses and his caresses.

"It's not cheating if no one knows, right?" Jake laughs on your ear, kissing your cheek softly. You were repeating his words.

"No" he says.

His thumb pinches your nipple, while squeezing your other boob.

And, in a blink, you were riding his dick like your life depends on it. It was absolutely pornish the way your bodies together sound. How every jump make the sofa grind and how sweet Jake moans your name.

"You are so tight for me, baby. So wet, so perfect" he bites your neck and you whimper louder.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck" you can barely speak, too concentrate in following the tickles in your belly. "Ah, ah~" you close your eyes at the feeling, too close. Just a bit longer and you'll cum.

Jake hold the grip on your thighs so hard that you can actually feel his fingers marking you. But you can also feel his teeth biting you and his tongue caressing your nipples.

"Jake! Jake, Jake I--" you shiver and open your eyes to reach for his gaze. His pretty blue eyes lost in the black iris of lust. "Ah, please. Please, please. I'm-- I-" you almost cry out your moans.

"Yes, baby. Cum for me, what are you waiting?" Jake sighs, roughly. Holding you tightly as your orgasm strike. "Oh, fuck. You're so good. You feel great, all warm and wet for me" he grabs your jaw gently, reaching for a kiss. His lips were soft, but somehow he makes the kiss nasty, biting your lower lip and allowing his tongue into your mouth.

It leaves you breathless. It was too much.

And so, his fingers goes down and touch slightly your clit. You squirm, your whole body feels electrified by his touch alone. He's very much hard inside you yet, so you make an effort to keep going.

"Jake" you call, tears already falling down on your cheeks. "Jake, you're so good. C'mon, cum with me" your voice is cracked, overwhelmed by the feeling.

You shut your eyes again when the second orgasm hit you, and you can also feel the warm seed of Jake filling you. You sob, hiding your face on the crock of his neck for a moment.

It feels good. It feels right. Like you belong there.

"I came inside" he says, voice deeply and fucked.

"Yeah, I can feel you" you keep your eyes closed while he caress your back gently. If you stay like that, you'll fall asleep.

"Let me clean you"

"No, just... just a moment" you can feel yourself already dripping, but he feels so good like that. His soft cock inside you like its the normal place to be.

"Petty" he says, mocking. He kiss your forehead, moving you softly to rest on the couch.

And you just stay there while he reaches for wet towels to clean you.

"Look, your dropping all of it on my couch" he's joking, of course. But yet, you put your fingers down and grab all the fluid you can before putting it inside you again.

You see his dick twitch with the scene.

"You're a menace, d'you know that?" he laughs, cleaning the rest of you, and himself.

"Am I?" you ask, looking at him with innocent eyes. He grabs his t-shirt from the floor and gives it to you.

"Let's go to bed, shall we?" his impossible smile back on his face.

You squint. "I should go home already"

Jake looks down at you, then at the clock above. "It's fucking three am. And you're full of me inside you, I'm not letting you go" he grabs you gently and carry you as a princess to his room.

"You really wanted to say that I was full of you, right?" you ask when he let you on bed. He glances at you, smiling.

"Yes"

[wildtigerlili]

The Marauders on a road trip pt. 1

this is my first time writing "headcannons" about lit anyone so it might be a bit messy but when I thought of it I knew I HAD to write it!!

remus : he is the one driving as he's the only one that got his drivers license on the first try, he's overall a good driver but he curses a LOT like it's actually scary how he'll be cursing at other drivers, it even happens sometimes that it'd get very heated and he'll start unbuckling his seat belt ready to throw hands so james holds him back because letting remus into a fight is NOT a good idea. remus can wreck the shit out of anyone if he wants to, and trust me, when he is in the drivers seat of a car, he really wants to.

sirius : the guy fought for his life even before the road trip started because he wants the aux!! he's ready to pay people to get aux, that guy is determinate. but once he's secured his aux place he'll be blasting pop punk songs for the entire trip, dancing and singing his ass off so bad that the car is literally shaking. it annoys remus ofc but won't truly say anything because he loves sirius too much to ruin his fun...

peter : the lad doesn't give a single flying fuck, he has his noise cancelling headphones on and took the best pillow he could ever find because he knows that sleeping is the only thing that could possibly keep him away from his mates' bullshit. if someone dares to wake him up (on purpose or not) he'll probably send them a death glare and threaten to rip their nipples off

james : the enthusiastic hyperactive child fr, he has his phone out, got a few vintage cameras and is taking picture of EVERYTHING, the amount of blurry trees picture he has at the end is actually scary but he loves them just as much as the others. If hee sees animals he'll gasp and tell remus to be careful not to hit them but don't let that guy see a "warning stag/deer" sign he'll start gasping and going feral because he is so famous that he's on road signs

[kookiekittyp4nties]

An Eventful night in

words: 3.4k

Fic summery: Billy Butcher x fem reader x Hughie. Hughie and the reader have been dating for a while and recently started sleeping together with Butcher. After the rest of the boys crew decide to go out you decide to stay back with Butcher and Hughie to get changed but that quickly turns into something much more eventful then the night you had planned.

Tags: Smut, nsfw, double penetration, Eiffel tower, vaginal fingering, rimming, anal play, anal sex, creampie, praise kink, slight degradation, blowjobs, rough oral sex, finger sucking, threesome-FMM, handjobs, rough sex, light breeding kink. overstimulation, doggystyle, manhandling, unprotected sex

Notes: i wrote this all the way back in august hehe its an oldie but still a goodie

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

It was a cool evening in the streets of NYC and the boys were all huddled together in their base, desperately trying to figure out their next move. Amongst the frustrated silence, Frenchie spoke up. “It's late, and we've been on edge all month. Why don't we take the night off?” Had anyone walked into the room they could easily tell that the consensus was that everyone agreed. 

“It is important to take time off...” M.M agreed. “Great! How do drinks and dancing sound?!” Frenchie exclaimed. Kimiko nodded excitedly in agreement. “What about you y/n?'' Kimiko signed. “Clubbing might be fun actually. It’s been a while since I've had an excuse to dress up a bit” she grins. “Butcher? Hughie? Do you guys wanna come?” 

“Sorry love but I'm a bit tied up here at the moment.” Butcher gestures to the assortment of plans, guns and other illegal items on the table in front of him. “You feeling okay?” M.M laughs. “Because usually Butcher, you besides from Frenchie would be the first person to ditch work to go party.”  

“Yeah well, today I'm not M.M. My heads bloody killing me mate and I still have all this shit to sort out.” sensing the tension brewing Hughie chirps up i-Ill go” He enthusiastically replies, standing up so quickly he knocks the table and butcher beside him. Who shoots him a displeased look.

 “It'll take me a while to get ready so why don’t you go ahead guys and Hughie and I can hopefully in that time convince Butcher to pull the stick out his ass and come with us.”  you happily chirp. “You don't have to tell me twice mon Coeur,” Frenchie calls holding Kimiko's hand and throwing his jacket over his shoulder as he leaves, M.M trailing behind him. 

Awkward silence quickly filled the air as the other half of the group cleared out. “Well, I'm going to go change and do my makeup. Take your time finishing up with whatever this is.”You exclaim, grabbing your bag and sauntering to the bathroom winking as you close the door.

“A-Actually I need to shower too.” Hughie beams, and practically jumps to follow you.“Lad, she’s changing give her a second.” Butcher grumbles patting Hughie on the shoulder and lighting a cigarette.

It's a while before the sound of the shower stops and You walk out of the bathroom. Hughie’s eyes almost damn near fall out of his head when he sees what you’re wearing. And Butcher, for once, is at a loss for words. “Are you boys ready to leave yet?” you call bending over to re-apply her lipstick. Your short dress threatens to show your panties. 

Both men almost audibly groan as she stands on her tip ties to get a better look at her face in the mirror revealing her pink lacy panties. “While you were in the shower Hughie and I were talking and we realized that it's been a while since we have all spent time together... With this and the bullshit with Homelander and Stormfront, we haven't had any time to ourselves.”

“Hughie, baby do you really feel like that?” you stop putting on your makeup and regretfully glance at the two men on the sofa. “I mean we live together, so I guess it is easy to overlook how much we are having sex, versus how many times we attempted and fell asleep... And Butcher we see even less out of work. I’m sorry we haven't been having much fun together recently.”  

“Which is okay,” Hughie interjects quickly. “I mean, well, I am sorta, really pent up and seeing you in that dress isn't helping... But that's not to say this is our fault. If anything it's fucking Homelanders fault for making us so busy we bearly have any time to fuck, let alone do anything but worry.” Y/n’s breath hitches as she notices Hughie’s tent in his jeans. 

“He does have a point about the dress. You look fucking sexy in it. The thing is so short that if we wanted to fool around all we have to do is roll it up slightly. Which, I’m not opposed to in the slightest... I've always had a soft spot for short dresses.” he groans, grabbing Your waist. being so caught up in the moment, you hadn’t even noticed that both he and Hughie were towering over her looking down ravenously.

Shivering you experimentally grind yourself against Butcher's groin... And beckon Hughie to kiss you. “Wait, are we seriously going to do this here?” He mumbles as he pulls away. “I’m really fucking horny too but everyone is in here during the day. What will they say if they come back  tomorrow and it smells like sex?”  

“You act like it doesn't smell dubious here on the regular lad. It probably won't be noticed too much. And either way, if Frenchie of all people does say anything it's not like we haven't walked in on or seen the aftermath of this room when he’s had Kimiko peg him in here.” Hughie sheepishly nods and leans in for another kiss. “It's just a little team-building exercise…what do you say Y/n? Want me and Hughie to fuck you silly?” 

Legs trembling at his usage of words, you eagerly nod.  “Oh, Come on, you know you can do better than that.” Butcher groans, nibbling your ear and grabbing a handful of your breast. “Say it.” Hughie chimes in. “Say you want Me and Butcher to fuck you silly right here like a little slut.” By the way, butcher’s grope eases on your breast you can tell he is also surprised to hear how assertive the shorter man is being. “I- I want you and Butcher to fuck me silly.” 

“That's a good girl.” Butcher sighs, pulling your panties to the side to rub your clit.  Your eyes grow heavily lidded as you feel Butcher's thick fingers slipping between your labia. He swipes his fingers up your slit collecting all the sticky wetness before circling back to your bundle of nerves.

”Now, poor Hughie has been straining in his pants the past half hour, would you be a dear and help relive him a little before he jizzes his pants like fucking a schoolboy.” working quickly You unbutton and unzip his jeans and slips your hands into his boxers to free him from his fabric prison. You quickly take notice of how painfully hard he is. His cock throbbing and already dribbling pre down his shaft.

“Fuck,” he hisses when his cock hits the cool air of the room, Throwing his head back.“That feels good.” Butcher hums in agreement as he gently slips a finger into Y/n’s soaked pussy.”Remember, jerk him off slowly, just the way he likes it, love. That's right, thumb the tip and then drag your hand down his shaft using his precum as lube.” Hughie trembles at the stimulation and buries his face in your neck. Licking and sucking a hickey into it. He is already so sensitive, so pretty. His face is burning as he nuzzles it into you.

“Butcher….please” you moan. “Please what love? Use your words, I'm not a fucking mind reader.” he chuckles. “Please fuck me with your fingers.” you breathe out, legs starting to buckle. Your cheeks are burning in anticipation. At this point, you are practically dripping. “Sure thing y/n.” almost instantly you feel another finger slip into you and curl causing you to moan loudly and arch your back. "Fuck, your little cunny is so tight it's practically sucking me in. I can barely move." He chuckles.

“How close are you Hughie?” you exhale deeply, Quickening your stroke on his shaft. You can feel him throbbing in your hand. “Pretty, close.” he moans with half-lidded eyes, so eager for stimulation that he bucks his hips into your hand. Usually, he isn't this eager, but you can tell was as pent up as he said. He just can't help himself, you are so good, and your fingers are so skilled he almost feels selfish for having someone jerk him off this well. This is definitely better than touching himself.

 You feel a deep warm knot start to tighten in the pit of your stomach and involuntarily bounce yourself on Butcher's fingers. “Feels good, don’t it? Having your slutty little cunt played with so roughly. Right where anyone could walk in?” he doesn't need to hear an audible response as you clench tightly around his fingers. Wantonly moaning out both his and Hughie’s names. “I'm gonna .. cum” you whine as Hughie pulls you into another sloppy kiss. 

“Me too” he moans into your mouth. Grabbing your chin and turning you to face him, Butcher kisses you roughly, both his Hughies and your spit dripping down your chin. His pace quickens as he continues his assault on your sensitive clit and he drags you to orgasm quickly. Both you and Hughie throw your heads back in ecstasy and moan in unison. “Oh fuuuuck.” Hughie almost sobs. His cum painting your hand and the front of your panties. You would have worried about it getting on your dress had Butcher not rolled the thing up almost to your tits. 

Panting you and Hughie collapse onto each other.  And both eagerly stretch your hand out to Butcher and pull him to sit beside you two on the ground. After sucking and licking the cum off his fingers Butcher makes quick work of his leather jacket and his belt. “How do you reckon we do this Hughie?” he asks, palming his erection through his boxers. Still, in a haze from his orgasm, Hughie only groans. “Lad c’mon snap out of it. There's still more fun to be had. Surely you've wanked at least once this week. There isn't any reason for you to be that spent after a little handy.” 

“You guys could Eiffel tower me?” you finally speak up, and pull yourself into Butcher’s lap, grinding against his erection. You almost feel yourself get wetter at that comment. Butcher grins at you in agreement and you both look over to Hughie for his confirmation.  “Yeah, that could be fun, 've only ever seen them do it in porn though, is it an actual sex position?” Of course, he is questioning the validity of the position. You love Hughie, but he is inexperienced when it comes to these matters. He is almost like a lamb, while Butcher is like a ravenous wolf. "Try sounding any less pleased and porn addicted." Butcher chuckles. Ignoring his comment, you continue  to explain “Course it is.” 

 “Why would it be made up? All I have to do is get on my hands and knees and have one of you take me from behind and the other takes my mouth. It's pretty simple actually.”

“And bloody fun” Butcher adds. You can tell Hughie still looks a bit shy at the idea of something so lewd that you propose an idea. “If you want I can take you up the ass?” you giggle. Which seems to make him somehow even redder, almost as if he hadn't just painted your hand with his jizz. “Lad I can tell you this for free, almost every man I’ve met likes anal one way or another. I know you’ve wanted to do this for a while. Don't act like I haven't seen your search history. You're a filthy fucking pervert like the rest of us.” Both of you laugh and he blushes. “Here let me make it a little easier” you giggle, peeling off your panties and dress and sitting on his lap facing away from him.  You grind your ample exposed ass against his cock and you almost feel him grow hard under you. 

“Now butcher come here” you beckon him with your hand and he shuffles over to stand in front of you. Tentatively you lick your lips before pulling the front of his briefs down to expose his hard and twitching cock.

He was a bit bigger than Hughie; more girthy at least. You'd almost forgotten how big he was. You know for certain your jaw is going to hurt tomorrow.

 “Take a picture, it'll last longer Luv,” he smirks above you. Still grinding against Hughie you reach out to grab the base and jerk him a few times. Leaning forward you give him a few speculative licks. Usually, Hughie preferred to take your mouth, it's been so long since you've blown anyone you are a little intimidated by his size. All your inhibitions fade away the moment you put your mouth around his thick head. It's salty but not unbearable, you can taste the day's sweat on him.

Lust Clouds your mind as you practically bury his cock in your mouth, gagging slightly as you reach the base. Butcher groans loudly through gritted teeth and this only solidifies how badly you want to please him. It takes every atom in his body for Butcher not to skull fuck you right then. You look just perfect, lipstick smudged spit dripping down your chin and your puffy stolen lips wrapped around his cock. If he had his phone he'd take a photo. It'd be a shame to not save this moment. 

Behind you, Hughie is growing more and more impatient.  Trying to get your attention by licking a stripe up your back and tentatively grinding his thumb against your ass. “Hey don't forget about me Y/n. I’m still here too,” he whines, grinding himself against your taint.

He certainly wasn't this needy last time he, you and Butcher fucked, then again, he had two people stimulating him at once. Where was all his assertiveness from earlier?  “I didn't forget” you mumble around Butcher. “You are going to have to speak up if you want the lad to hear you Luv. You've got a bit of cock in your mouth.” A Bit was definitely an understatement. 

Smirking he pulls you off his cock with a pop. “Butcher get on your knees and Hughie hold on to my waist okay?” Both men do as they are told, either neither of them had any energy to protest or they were both too horny to care. “Hughie, I'm going to ease myself onto you okay? Don't start to thrust until I say so.” you look back over your shoulder and see his tongue dart out to wet his lips as he nods. 

Taking as you get back onto your hands and knees you are startled by a warm wet sensation prodding at your ass. “Are you okay Y/n?Did I do something wrong?” he quickly pulls away from your ass and you almost instinctively push his face back against you. “I'll take that as a no then.” Hughie smiles and presses his mouth flush against your ass again. Practically making out with your asshole.

 You arch your back and grind yourself against his mouth. Letting our a loud almost pornographic moan. “That's a bloody delicious sight. You've got a lot more balls than I thought son.” Butcher supplies leaning back and pulling your chin towards his now aching cock.  Lolling your tongue out he places his shaft back into your mouth jerking himself off into your mouth. You close your swollen lips around his head and start bobbing again. 

When you feel that you are sufficiently wet you pull away from Hughie’s mouth and playfully move your hips side to side to prompt him. Slipping Butcher out of your mouth you give the younger man a verbal cue. “You can put it in now Hughie, don't worry, she doesn't bite.” he and Butcher chuckle gently at your crude joke as he lines up the blunt head of his cock and starts to push in. 

 “Mmmm’ you moan out as he pushes in deeper. His hand snakes around your waist to pull you closer to him. “Just a bit more.” he groans. “Fuck, you are so tightt.” you feel his bottom out inside you and almost leap at the opportunity to grind your hips back against him. The slight burn of his intrusion feels fucking good. Hughie seems to think the same thing as he starts to thrust into you. 

Leaning forward you shove Butcher back into your mouth hungry for his cock. Quickly taking in the entirety of him without gagging at his size.  All three of you moan in unison as your bodies wetly connect. You grind your hips into Hughie's slowly, careful not to let an inch out of you. “You can be a little rougher than that with her son, you aren't gonna break her. She can take it. Cant you?” he looks down at you. “Yeah, she's a tough little thing. I bet you if we actually wanted to break her we couldn't.” 

With every thrust of his hips, Hughie can feel himself getting more and more wrecked. You’re just so perfectly tight. The way your ass is clapping against his hips looks just like the porn he had watched earlier that week. Unlike the girl in the video, he could tell that you were enjoying yourself. Leaning forward a bit he locks his hand with yours and starts to whisper gently into your ear as he teases and pinches your nipple.

“Y/n  fuck, I'm so close already. You are so good to us. So good to me. Taking me so deeply. Do you think I could feel my cock in your ass if I stuck a few fingers in that greedy pussy of yours?” He punctuates the last few words with some particularly hard thrusts, feeling you clench around him. Removing his hand from your nipple he slips 3 of his fingers into your needy pussy which sends you over the edge. Suddenly clamping around him with a vice-like grip you cum, hard. Your slick wetness gushing down his fingers. Pulling off of the butcher's cock you cry out an unintelligible string of words.

The sudden tightness around him sends Hughie over the edge too. His warm cum spills into you. His hips spasming as he stuffs your ass with his cum. Harder and harder until he collapses onto you. Kissing your neck and back. Looking up through your eyelashes you can tell Butcher is close too.

Lust clouding his eyes he pulls your head forward and you quickly engulf him in your mouth and let him fuck your throat to completion. His grunts and groans make you wetter and wetter every second. “Open your mouth Y/n.” Butcher gruffly pulls himself out of your mouth to roughly jerk himself off on our tongue. Throwing his head back he cums in your mouth. Not wanting to waste anything you wrap your lips around him and let him finish in your throat. Rope after rope of his seed slipping down your abused throat.

“Fuck me” he moans. “I needed that.” all three of you collapse into a mess of bodies and try to come down from your intense orgasm. “That was fucking good.” you all say in unison. “Fucking good.” you conceded. “Although I wish my pussy got a little more attention.” you playfully frown. “I do find it a bit unfair that both you and Hughie got to cum more than once while I've just had my first O.” Butcher pouts 

“Well, what do you suggest?” Hughie questions innocently. 

[triflesandparsnips]

hey hey guess what it's time for

Update 4: Return of the (Soap) King

For those who haven't been following along, I've been having a nice time doing experimental archaeology and recreating cosmetics/household goods that are historically plausible for local idiot pirate Stede Bonnet to have had around.

Figure 1. Me, addressing my kitchen appliances.

So far we've had successful lip balm, yet-to-be-completed Oil of Lavender, the terrible tragedies that have so far befallen the pearl face cream, and, finally, the unending journey of the one household item actually mentioned on the dang show: the lavender soap (with updates 1-3 and several mini-updates).

Did this all secretly derive from my researching period-appropriate medical horror? Yes. Am I still going to write about it? Of course come on now I can't just keep that enema information to myself--

But TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY.

Figure 2. One very excited ship's surgeon who will unfortunately have to bide his fuckin time.

Nope, today we're on the next iteration of the lavender soap, because we're still at the "fuck around and find out" portion of this experimental process-- and so, behold:

Version 3.0 7 oz. dried soap 4 oz. ground orrisroot 1 oz. ground whole cloves 1 oz. ground benjamin 10 drops lavender essential oil oil of lavender, q.s. rosewater, q.s.

You may notice that I have, tragically, only added enough of anything lavenderish to allow myself the honesty of still calling this "lavender" soap -- as previously discussed, lavender essential oils (as we know them today) were not really a Thing, and the Oil of Lavender (...which is not an essential oil, but rather an infusion of lavender flowers and olive oil) is not quite ready for primetime scent vibes, so I genuinely don't think these are comparable to actually just grinding up and shoving in the dried flowers.

But for the sake of Science, I needed to find out if removing the flowers would help with the browning issue of previous versions, so-- out went the lavender. For now.

Figure 3. Oh no, I-- oh man, don't cry, I'm sorry, I'll put it back omg.

Other changes in this version are:

store-bought ground orrisroot (...listen, Thomas is but a wee lad, and not yet hearty enough to wreck regular orrisroot as hard as it needs);

store-bought ground benzoin (because it was cheaper to buy in bulk that the solid resin from the woo-woo shop);

increased the amount of orrisroot from 1 ounce to 4 ounces, in keeping with some other recipes, to try and bulk up the myristic acid content (i.e., the thing wot makes olive-oil based Nabulsi soap actually produce a bubbly lather)

I should at this point say that typically the scientific process recommends making only one change at a time when conducting Experiments, so that one may know what exactly affected a change in a positive, negative, or neutral manner.

Consider, however, that I have no patience. So fuck it, we ball.

Show us the soap, trifles

To get to the soap, you must first suffer through mortifying ordeal of process photos.

Figure 4. The ground orrisroot on my tiny digital scale (that actually measures grains, which itself is a holdover from apothecary measurements!)

Wait wait wait actually look at my tiny bullshit scale, I love it, look at its little one-gram calibration weight:

Figure 5. A baby.

Figures 6 and 7. An ounce of whole cloves (left) and the results of young Thomas's efforts thrown on top of the orrisroot and benjamin in the mortar (right).

I should note that rather than grinding the cloves in my granite mortar and pestle first, I put them straight into Thomas's maw-- I don't know if that led to how intensely clove-oily these grounds are, or the fact that the lavender flowers were not present to soak it up. Previously I got a grey-green powder out of grinding the both together, so this rich, wet clove-color did not bode well for my "can I stop this from being brown?" soap plans...

Figure 8. ...Or maybe it'll be fine? I added the dried soap, and now look at them all mixed together!

As a note, I had to actually use a whisk at this point rather than just rely on my pestle to do the work -- my mortar is Too Small for these shenanigans, and the four ounces' worth of orrisroot did not help matters. I won't say how much of this mix ended up outside the mortar and on my clothes, but it was... it was a non-zero amount.

Whatever, thought I. This is Science. This is me experiencing the divine art of creation across space-time with my alchemical forebears, and also this is why I should not be allowed in other people's kitchens.

Notably, the upped powder content meant that I had to add a lot more splashes of rosewater to get to a dough-y state where the soap could be hand-rolled, and I had to work significantly longer with the pestle-- while version 2.0 was, per my notes, about 8-10 minutes' worth of work, I would call this a solid 20 minutes at least of beating the ever-loving shit outta this mix until everything was incorporated.

And once it was, well--

Figure 9. Hello, brown.

As you can see, the soap mix does form up very nicely, though it still requires a spatula to clear the sides of the mortar and pestle.

At this point, remembering that the last time I hand-rolled wash balls my palms came away Very Brown, I donned some latex gloves before I commenced my rolling. However, because (and again, I cannot stress this enough) I lack patience, I threw in another change: rather than leaving them as balls, I squished them slightly between my palms to flatten them into slightly more traditional soap shapes.

Figure 10. Cookie dough or falafel: you decide.

A note regarding the scent: Whether it's the relative lack of the lavender, or the big bump to the orrisroot (or some magic alchemical combination of the two), the soaps, while still smelling strongly like spice cookies, now have an oddly-unfamiliar-but-fascinating scent profile, similar to what I found happened when I made the lip pomatum. There's no good reason why this should make me believe that I've come closer to a "real" recipe, but the feeling is there nonetheless -- and it's definitely interesting.

Finally, and because the flat sides of these soaps looked too innocent, too pure, I decided to try that octopus stamp again. For future reference, stamping immediately after making these? Not a great idea. The soap stuck to the stamp like a motherfucker, and so a lot of detail was lost. But regardless--

Figure 11. Spice cookie kraken soap cakes, holy shit.

And now, I actually do have to wait a few days before I can try them out, or they'll fall the fuck to pieces. Keep watch for mini-updates, though, as I check out how they dry and probably do more unfortunate stamp experiments on them.

[3xm-draconic]

The Jester and The Courier: a wild wasteland love.

Chapter 4: This is it, the Apocalypse. 

“Myrt?” Arcade pondered “you ok?”, “I need time to chill the fuck out before I go in and fix his hand” she mumbled “guys I’ll be up in my room for a bit, don’t disturb me ok?” she said as she stumbled to her room, Rex following not too far behind her.

“Is she gonna be alright, should I check on her?” Cass pondered, “Myrt’s just needing “alone time” right now Cassidy” Boone said “she needs to just…”, “you need to talk to her Craige, if she’ll listen to anyone it’s you” Raul said as he sipped his coffee.

Myrtle was in her room scrounging around “c’mon, c’mon where are you?” she grumbled as she looked for what she needed.

She finally found what she was looking for, hidden on the top shelf of her gun cabinet, a small tin box and a bottle of vodka. “Just a few mentats and a shot of happy juice…” she mumbled. She flipped open the tin and Rex started to whimper.

“C’mon now Rexie-baby, don’t gimme them sad eyes…” she grumbled, Rex just whimpered sadly and whent to go hide under her bed, she sighed “you wouldn’t understand puppers…”

She sat on her bed and looked at the bottle…

“Maybe just some happy juice for right now” she pondered, Rex whimpered, “ok, ok Rexie-baby…I’ll just…I’ll just read some Grognak comics for now”, Rex’s tail wagged. 

Cicero felt so…blissful…but he knew it was an illusion, he HAD to escape. These daedra in human disguises would do…Sithis know what to him…

He shifted and looked down at his hand, it was scratched up and bleeding a little…

Cicero bit and licked at his wrist to lubricant it, then with enough effort he managed to slip his hand out. With one arm out he got to work trying to free his other hand…no use.

His other hand was cuffed tighter than the other one. “Sithis damn it” he grumbled…

He heard footsteps coming, he started to panic “oh bother and befuddle, what if they see me uncuffed?!”, the door opened…

Myrtle walked in with medical supplies, “ok buddy, please let me take a look at that hand, ok?” she said as she approached him, Cicero saw in the bag a sharp knife…

“Ok, so buddy, hear me out” Myrtle said as she gently took Cicero’s injured hand “I’am not a daedra-thing out to hurt you ok?, I’am just a regular human like you”, Cicero wasn’t listening, he needed to get that knife…maybe if he could use his feet?..., “look, I know you're scared, you don’t know where you are and you have no idea what I am but given the fact that I haven’t once tried to kill you should clue you in that I mean you no harm so please” she moved the bag away from him “stop”.

 That just made Cicero angrier “well” he snarled “what do you intended to do to Cicero?”, she looked into his eyes “fix what you did to your hand first” she smirked “then when you're all bandaged up I’am taking you to Usanagi first thing tomorrow, so she can help me find out why there are so many screws loose in you”.

Cicero had to try a different tactic with her, to get out of his bindings and find his way back to Tamriel, he had…to play along.

Maybe even try charming her a bit…

“Metal woman…has anyone told you your metal eye is very pretty?”, she chuckled “thanks for the flattery…even though I know bullshiting when I hear it bud” she smirked. 

(Speech 100 vs Speech 15)

Cicero pouted, Myrtle eyed him, “sorry short king but you ain’t no casanova” she giggled, Cicero grumbled, “now we are having gecko kebabs for lunch, you what anything with yours? Insta mash?, Blamco mac n cheese, I have a few boxes of fancy lad snack cakes if you want one” she smiled.

He turned away and huffed, “no need to be so grumpy, I AM really trying to help you” she shrugged.

She left the room and Cicero looked at his cuffed hand, if only he had a lock pick…or a knife…

He looked around the room, there was little to be found say for the dresser, a window and a bed, he wondered what was in the dresser? He stretched himself out and reached for the bottom dresser drawer, inside he found strange metal coins and a few metal pins of some kind.

He took the pins and hid them under himself, later on at night when it was dark and quiet he would make his escape.

“Ok since you didn't specify what ya wanted I got ya a bit of everything” Myrtle said as she entered the room with a fully loaded plate: it had 3 huge honey mesquite-grilled gecko kebabs covered in a homemade nuka-cola jalapeno bbq sauce, blamco mac n cheese, fluffy instamash with brahmin butter on top, elote maize and to wash it all down she was even giving him an ice-cold sunset sarsaparilla.

She sat it all down next to him “and I even got you this” she said as she gave him a small white frosted cake of some kind.

“Now can I trust you with a fork to not stab yourself or me please?” she sighed, Cicero nodded, she watched, observing him closely as he looked at the food suspiciously.

Cicero had never seen food like this before, let alone was going to eat it, but to play along and survive…he would have to. He looked at everything on the plate, he recognized the “instamash” as mashed up potatoes so he tried that first…it was actually pretty good.

Fluffy, buttery and lightly salted, good potatoes, next he tried the “maize” it was butter, spiced with flavorful zest and crunchy, overall really good.  The mac n cheese stuff on the other hand…

Oh sweet Sithis, it was GOOD!

It was creamy and cheesy and was by far the best thing he had ever eaten, then he tried the kebabs…

Good lord his mouth was on fire!, he instantly regretted taking such a big bite and looked around for something to drink, “sarsaparilla” Myrtle pointed to the strange orange bottle. He had trouble getting the odd metal cork off the top of it, it looks like one of the strange metal coins from the drawer, she helped him out and he guzzled it down.

It was sweet! And the flavor though strange was quite enjoyable, Cicero then looked at the little cake.

He tasted it…it was like…like a sweetroll, Cicero sighed…he wanted to be back home in the sanctuary…

He began to panic again, if he did not get back soon, who would tend to the Night Mother?!

“Alright you finished?, I’ll see you again at dinner, hey let me know if you want any snacks or if you want to talk, ok?” Myrtle took his plate and walked away, “oh yes…see you soon…” Cicero grinned.

He would see her again…after all…he can’t have any of them following him now can he?

[mrsarnasdelicious]

The Band of Bebbanburgh - I - How Sihtric Met Finan

Uhtred enters the small messy apartment like he owns it. He most certainly owns a key to it...

"Sihtric!" He yells.

The apartment's inhabitants hurried from the bathroom, half naked and tucking himself away. "What were you doing?" Uhtred asks. "Taking a piss. The fuck you doing in my house?" The young man asks in reply. "You call this a house?" Finan frowns at the kid. He can't be older than twenty or so. "Who the fuck are you?" The lads round on the Irishman. So much for a pleasant first meeting. Uhtred most certainly miscalculated there.

Uhtred coughs dryly.

Finan and the younger man both turn to him. "Fina, Sihtric. Sihtric, Finan." He says curtly. Sihtric steps forward, offering Finan a hand. "Go wash up first." Finan scoffs. Uhtred groans in mild desperation. "Yes, sir." Sihtric sneers, slouching to his tiny kitchen.

Finan can't help but stare at the lad's ass, which looks utterly phenomenal.

Sihtric washes his hands and comes back to both older men. "Now what'd you interrupt my lazy sunday for?" He asks Uhtred. "I just wanted to introduce Finan." Uhtred replies. "Fek off." Finan says. Both Uhtred and Sihtric look at him with surprise evident on their faces. "Oh come the fuck on. Uhtred, you did not drag me all the way to the back of town just to shake this sorry sods pissy hand." He says. "I washed it!" Sihtric protests.

"Alright... you're here for more than hands." Uhtred rolls his eyes at the instant bickering. Then he turns to Sihtric. "You'll do him, pro bono." It is an order. "Yes sir." Sihtric rolls his eyes. "And you better fuck off with the attitude." Uhthred snarls.

And then he just leaves.

Finan is utterly nonplussed. "Do me?" He furrows his brows. Sihtric scoffs and flops down on the absolutely prehystoric looking sofa. "Yeah, let you fuck me." He grabs a cig and lights it. The scent of smoke and vanilla spreads through the studio apartment. "Wait what?" Finan can barely believe what he is hearing. "Uhtred thinks I am his little bitch boy to use, just because I pay the bulk of my rent with sex work." Sihtric takes another drag of his cig. "Bullshit." Finan swears. "It is the only thing I am good at." Sihtric replies wryly.

"I am sure that is not true." Finan begins to feel sorry for the kid. But Sihtric scoffs, blowing smoke from his nose. "I'm a cage fighter, but it doesn't make me enough to pay rent and do the shopping." He says. "Fucking shit." Finan hisses. Sihtric sends him an unamushed look. "I don't need your pity, so you can fuck off with it. Now do you want me to suck your cock or not?" It is a sneer and Finan wonders if Sihtric is being forced into this by Uhtred. He wouldn't pin his new friend like that type of guy...

"You don't have to." He rumbles.

Sihtric snuffs his cig. He gets up and saunters over to the Irishman. He falls to his knees. "I bet you're thick. And you trim. I want to smell the sweat in your pubic hair." He murmurs. Finan opens his mouth to tell him he shouldn't, but Sihtric nuzzles his face against the faded cloth of his jeans. "I will make you cum so hard, you will never want another." Sihtric purrs.

He opens Finan's fly. He mouthes at the cloth of Finan's boxers. "Oh Jesus Fucking Christ." Finan groans. His prick is beyond just interested. He is hard as a rock and already creating a precum stain in the grey cotton. "Oh fuck, you smell so good." Sihtric whimpers. He mouthes at the stain, hot wet mouth agonisingly close to the head of Finan's cock. Finan drags his finger through Sihtric's dark hair. All his protests are forgotten all he can focus on is Sihtric's mouth. And then he looks down... Into those mismatched eyes. And he knows he is lost.

One pool of ocean and one pit of mud.

Sihtric pulls Finan's boxers down his thighs. The Irishman's cock springs free. "Mouth watering." He hisses. And then he lewdly opens his mouth. "You want me to fuck your pretty whore mouth?" Finan growls. Sihtric nods. Finan craddles Sihtric's chin. The younger man's whispery goaty tickles his palm. "Such a good boy." He growls. Sihtric whines in reply. He is impatient, it seems to Finan.

He takes his cock in his hand and slap his glans down on Sihtric's bottom lip, which is swollen to lsuh plumpness with wanton arousal. Sihtric is turned on by this, too. His tongue comes out to swipe at the slit in Finan's cockhead. "Jesus, you know what you are doing, don't ye baby?" Finan groans. Sihtric, in form of answer, closes his mouth on the first inches of Finan's cock.

He is still looking up at Finan.

"I'll make you gag." Finan warns. Sihtric sucks more of him into his eager, wanton mouth. Finan tightens his hand into the youth's hair, grunting like a rutting boar. It had been a while since he had last been given a good round of head. His last girlfriend hadn't wanted to do it. Said he smelled weird, not matter how good or how often he washed. But Sihtric relaxes the muscles of his throat and shoves his face against Finan's pubic bone.

Too soon, Finan feels his orgasm approach. It is rushing in on him like a fucking freight train. He drags Sihtric off by his hair. His cock comes free with a lewd wet pop. Sihtric whines at the loss. "Not yet." Finan shakes his head. Sihtric pouts up at him.

"Get up!" Finan orders. Sihtric obeys without a shred of hesitation. Finan's eyes rove over the younger man's body. The lad is well built and his cock is standing to attention. "Take off your joggers." Finan tries to sound gentler. Again, Sihtric obeys without a peep. His cock springs free, throbbing and glistening with precum.

Finan closes the distance between them.

Sihtric's breath hitches as Finan grabs his hard, slick shaft. "You were as ready to cum as I." It is not even a question. He gives Sihtric a slow languid jerk. "Well?" He presses the youth for it. "Yes ... Yes sir." Sihtric moans. "Such a flithy little slut you are." Finan growls. "Thank you, sir." Sihtric demures.

Finan cups Sihtric's cheek with his free hand. Sihtric closes his eyes without having to be told. "Good boy." Finan growls. And then he closes the distance.

KIssing Sihtric feels easier than kissing any woman he's ever been intimate with. He's never been with a man before, yet the feeling of Sihtric's strong yet supple lips is like coming home. He is coming home to the taste of vanilla, nicotine and his own cock and the vibration of Sihtric's wicked moans against his lips. He could very well drown in those moans.

He unhands Sihtric's cock. "Bedroom, now." He snarls. "Fuck ues, sir." Sihtirc breathes.

He traipses into his bedroom, Finan hot on his heels.

Unlike the main area, the bedroom is tidy and Sihtric's bed is huge.

Just for good measure, Finan grabs Sihtric by the hips and throws him into the sheets. "You are going to wish Uhtred had never taken me to you." He hisses. Sihtric rolls onto his back, cock point at the ceiling. "All mouth and no trousers." He purrs as a challenge. Finan scoffs loudly and makes quick work of his clothes.

Once he is as naked as Sihtirc, he crawls on top of him.

Sihtric moans as their cocks collide. Finan bucks his pelvis right away. "Gods! Will you fuck me?" Sihtric asks. His voice trembles a little. Finan takes a moment to consider the situation. Not fifteen minutes before he was worried Uhtred was forcing Sihtric into prostitution and now he was buckarse naked in the lad's bed. Did something go wrong along the way? Or is Sihtric just this hot on him?

"Do you want me to fuck you? For true?" Finan asks, very seriously. "I want you to fuck the tar out of me. Fuck you like you hate me." Sihtric replies. "No, I won't, you have not earned my hate. You deserve better." Finan tells the younger man . Sihtric flusters and looks away. "At least don't pretend you love me. I don't want your fucking pity." He tries to sound snide.

"I won't give you pity. But I will not hate you either. I just want to know I am not forcing you into anything." Finan says. Sihtric pushes Finan over, so now he is on his back in the younger man's stead. Sihtric straddles his hips and clasps a hand on his throat. "I want to feel the imprint of that massive fucking cock for the next two weeks. I want to show off the bruises you'll leave on me. Make me proud of the screw up I am, for the love of the fucking gods." He hisses.

His hand on Finan's throat slowly starts to close. Finan knows he is trying to provoke him into rash actions.

Finan puts his hand around Sihtric's wrist. "You can ride me, if you like." He rumbles. Sihtric's grip slackens, a little. It's a start. "Do you want to ride my cock, Sihtric?" He asks. Sihtric nods and allows Finan to move his hand from his throat, to his chest. "Yes, I do." Sihtric whispers. "Can I prep you first?" Finan might not have been with a man before, but he is not stupid. He knows anal takes time. "You don't have to." Sihtric replies, though it is unabashed. His mood seems to be evening out. "I don't want to hurt you." Finan says gently.

Finally Sihtric smiles at him. "You won't hurt me. I'm, as one would say, well trained. Aaaand I played with myself just before Uhtred brought you." He says. Finan cups Sihtric ass, fingers slipping into the cleft. "So you are still open and relaxed for me." He purrs lewdly. He presses his fingertip into Sihtric's pucker. Sihtric moans sweetly. "One more?" Finan asks. "More like two. You're quite big." Sihtric replies. "All at once?" Finan furrows one raven coloured brow. "I can handle it." Sihtric says. And thus Finan adds two fingers at once. Sihtric pushes back on him. "Gods, fuck." He groans. "You good?" Finan asks. The youth nods, confident and grinning. He is proud of it too, Finan realises.

"I'll get you a condom." Sihtric says. "No raw ploughing?" Finan teases. "Not today." Sihtric replies playfully. "So there will be a next time?" Finan asks. "Are you kidding, where else am I getting a cock like yours." Sihtric murmurs. Finan decides not to push the matter. Sihtric gets off of him to retrieve a condom from his cok drawer. Finan takes the time to marvel at his back and arse.

Sihtric is gorgeous, in a strange, rebellious sort of way. He's muscular, well trained, with thick cordy muscles. His skin is pale, but has an odd oiled glow to it, though his skin is not feeling that moist. His hair is dark brown, shaved up on the sides and kept moderately short. He has a tattoo spanning from the side of his head to his neck. He wears several bracelets and rings, and Thor's Hammer on a leather thong around his neck. He keeps a whispey moustache and even less of a goaty. But he pulls it off. He pulls it off like the piercings in the shell of his ears and the tiny gemstone in one nostrill. He just does.

Sihtric comes back to bed.

Without any further ado about anything not concerning Finan's cock, he rolls the condom over The Irishman's considerable erection. And then he just sinks down on him!

"Holy Jesus!" Finan all but shouts. "Your Jesus has nothing to do with this." Sihtric says. "Then who does?" Finan purrs warmly. "Freyr and Loki." Is the reply. Finan only recognises Loki because of the marvel films. But he decides to ask later.

Sihtric rides him in a slow yet deft way that has Finan teetering on the edge and at the same time want more. So much more!

"Let me make you cum." He rumbles. Sihtric looks a little surprised. "I ... erm..." He flusters a little. "I could cum from just this..." He mumbles. "You don't have to." Finan replies warmly. He curls his fingers around Sihtric's cock. The youth moans, rolling his hips. "So beautiful." Finan growls. "Thank you, sir." Sihtric lisps. He fucks Finan's fist, precum all but dribbling from his slit. "You gonna cum for me, pretty boy?" Finan rasps. Sihtric moans, but shakes his head. "No, why not?" Finan taunts. "Too- too soon." Sihtric says, his voice a soft whine. Finan laughs warmly. I won't last long, Princess. Go chase that high." He says. "Okay, but I want you to choke me." Sihtric replies.

Finan decides not to question it. The regrets are for later, like with anything he does. He is far from the good catholic boy his parents wanted him to be.

He grabs Sihtric by the throat. The young man's eyes blow wide and he moans like a fucking pornstar. "Jesus fuck." Finan growls. He clasps Sihtric's throat firmly, while also still jacking him off. But Sihtric shoos his hand from his cock. "Just choke me." He hisses.

Finan obliges. He tightens his grip on Sihtric's throat. The youth moans as best he can. His cock twitches, precum gushes from the throbbing red head down on Finan's abs. "Gunna be a good boy an' cum?" Finan growls. Sihtric nods feebly. Finan tightens his grip a little more, causing Sihtric to whimper loudly. "Say it." Finan whispers. Sihtric leans into his grip, moaning as best he can. Finan does not actually expect the youth to speak. But he sees Sihtric enjoys the taunting.

Sihtric's cock twitches wildly, more precum gushing from the slit.

"Go on." Finan growls. Sihtric whimpers loudly. He is dangling right on the edge. He is so close he can taste his climax. It is inevitable. "I'm gona.. Fuck I'm gona cum." He croaks. "Then cum." Finan snarls, tightening his grip a little more. That shoves Sihtric firmly over the edge. He moans feebly, spending himself all over Finan's belly. He cums quite generously, shooting as far as Finan's chest. "Good boy. Such a good boy for me." Finan growls. "Now you ride me, make me cum too." He instructs. He knows it won't take long. The way Sihtric's ass is clenching around him already has him on the edge.

"Yes sir.." Sihtric demures.

He puts his hands on the perfect sculpt of Finan's chest. Finan's breath hitches as though he is bracing himself. He knows Sihtric is gona do well. And indeed, Sihtric begins to ride him like he's trying to break his pelvis. Finan grabs him firmly by the hips to slow him down, but Sihtric is not having it.

"Fucking cum for me." He hisses. "Cum inside me." He murmurs.

And that is Finan's undoing. He bucks his pelvis spasmically and spends himself inside the condom, groaning loudly. "Yes, fuck yes." Sihtric groans, closing his eyes to savour the moment.

He then gets up, letting Finan slip out with a lewd little groan.

"Fuck, you are amazing." Finan growls. "Fuck you." Sihtric says in a derisive tone. He pulls the condom off of Finan's cock and tosses it in the bin. "You just have to cop an attitude, don't you?" Finan sits upright. Sihtric rolls his eyes, plopping down in the windowseat.

"Well, I was good, wasn't I?" He leans against the cold glass. Finan heaves a soft sigh. "Why am I suspecting that was only a sliver of what you usually do." He says. "Because you are a smart man." Sihtric grins at him. Finan gazes up at the ceiling. He is genuinly wonder what the fuck Uhtred has gotten him into. And he suspects that indeed, this first meeting with Sihtric is only the tip of the iceberg.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s11e3 the bad seed (w. brad buckner, eugenie ross-leming)

who brought the janky subaru to the mega coven? rowena looking fabulous per usual. oh, i guess she's in a ... scrapyard? keeping it classy

i think i might need to go back to being a little bit high to watch this show. downside is it messes with my ability to remember a bit more than my usual garbage memory (though it is mostly offset by making these posts). upside.. easier to let things roll off my back.

SAM Well, God kicked this thing's ass once before, right? DEAN Yeah, it'd be nice if he put down the Mai Tai and show up for work. CASTIEL I wouldn't count on it. SAM It's possible he's around. Closer than we think, you know? DEAN What makes you say that?

dean not talking about his ~bond~ with the darkness, sam not saying how he had some freaky flashbacks after praying to god. and almost dying from the zombie juice. sigh. i don't like complaining this much either!

DEAN Come on, Crowley, pick up. I've left you a dozen messages. Why isn't he answering the phone? SAM Because he's a dick, and that's not breaking news.

lol good one, sam

DEAN You know where you are? What's the date? CASTIEL Earth. Several billion years from the beginning.

there's the snarky cas i can get behind

i am 90% convinced they foley'd in a sloshing sound when he initially sat up, but the clinking chains and the groaning has me not totally sure

LOL sam pulling his hand back slowly during this explanation. also good job with the captioning an accented e netflix :p

little angel and demon worker bee bonding at the bar about the bosses being useless, how very good omens

using my boop boop 10+ year makeup fixation i'm like, I KNOW THIS.

that ultra thin compact design is unusual and screams luxury. searching the brain archives and i'm fairly certain that's a marc jacobs bronzer or contour compact. not that i ever bought or used one. but 2015 for sure was still in the thick of the fixation which included lots of beauty youtube

anyway.

CROWLEY That's God for you. Not really thought out. The whole big bang thing? More of a big bust. I mean, boom, bang, stars, evolution, Taylor Swift. I'm guessing you'd have done things differently.

again, how does this jive with other gods?

getups are reminding me of the airport scene disguises in 12 monkeys (1995) crossed with dodgson from jurassic park. i know it's all generic but brain's always trying to find connections

very nice handwritten instructions they left cas with

ooh a slightly messy desktop, zooming in with glee. *come on, untitled 1 and 2, make a comeback!* shame. but it's all on-brand. and that chonky hard drive, 1.5+TB

i know the fetishizing asian women is dean's Thing, but could we please PLEASE fucking drop it.

are we gonna odd couple our way to all work together against amara?

i thought he was familiar, it's rafe from the magicians!

the magicians s2e13 we have brought you little cakes - sergio osuna as rafe

ROWENA You wouldn't think a road trip with two such strapping lads could be this tedious. Shall we have a wee sing-song?

oh, see, sam is not telling dean so many things i've lost track. almost dying and talking to god and getting an answer-ish, deal with rowena to remove the mark paid with crowley's (unsuccessful) death, what else

SAM Look, I was gonna tell you. Obviously, nothing ever came of it, so I-I figured there was no point, you know? DEAN No point, huh? ROWENA I-I mean, I see what Dean's saying. Your wee pal Castiel wouldn't be in this pickle if you'd done what you'd promised. I would've had no reason to cast the attack dog spell if Crowley were already dead. Excellent point. DEAN It's not my point. Sam knows my point. Keyword -- secrets. ROWENA Ah, well, I'm just glad I got the conversation flowing. Family relations are a speciality of mine.

can we just get rowena to spill the beans on all their bullshit lies and be done with it?

this show will make any excuse to beat the shit out of dean and get him on his knees, bleeding

SAM Hey. You should keep applying that. DEAN Thanks, mom. You just keep the beers comin'.

like you wouldn't nag sam the same way

CASTIEL Dean, I can fix that. DEAN No, no. It's fine, Cas. Besides, I had it comin'.

doing penance, how very dean. had it comin for what now? trying to scroll through dean's latest fuckups but keeping track of his with sam and the world at large (and sam with him and the world) and castiel apparently is Too Much.

ah i didn't notice until scrolling through the trivia bits on the wiki that jackles directed this one too

[protect-daniel-james]

Heyo! I'm a Croatian NT supporter. I'm queer and I love football so much. I always said that I would watch the national team of the first out queer international player.

Wich happens to be Czech Republic as of this week. No joke I nearly cried when I watched Jakub's coming out video, I am so happy for him, even tho my only memory of him is me yelling at his team 2 years ago.

Him coming out means that I'm gonna support Czech Republic besides my Croats. I have followed your blog for a while on my main and I remember during Euros 2 years ago, that you post alot about Czech NT.

Now I don't know anything about the Czech NT. So I was hoping if you could teach me a bit about the NT, so I don't go in blindly next month lol.

I could research myself but i know that supporters know more about their team than the internet! So here we are. I'm humbly asking your help on the Czech NT.

I'm a bit scared to ask with my normal account so this is a burner acc.

-a queer football fan

Hi! First of all, I loved the Croatian NT from 2018, and I still have a soft spot for them now. I'm happy to explain a bit of stuff about the Czech NT. And most of all I'm happy for Jakub, and honestly, the response has so far been overwhelmingly positive from the fans, which is great.

One thing that is not talked about (but should be mentioned) is that like two weeks ago, one Czech journalist (Luděk Mádl) made a tweet saying "a Czech footballer is planning to do a public coming out"

He didn't say the name, but people in the comments started speculating, and it turned into a convo of "I have a friend who has a friend who knows a cleaning lady who knows the kitman and he said that the lads in Sparta's dressing room say it's Jankto". Of course, it wasn't confirmed, but still... A lot of people criticized the journalist for posting the tweet and starting this whole conversation when IT WAS NONE OF HIS FUCKING BUSINESS before the player announces it himself, so he deleted the tweet and apologized. Anyway, Jankto came out this week, in a very nice manner I would say. Now everyone is kinda curious whether he will assume the role of a role model, and speak about his decision to come out etc., or whether he will just keep doing quietly his job. We will see.

The current NT is very likable. In the past, we had some shitty coaches, and some shitty (behavior/character-wise) players, or just not very memorable ones, being carried by Petr Čech and Tomáš Rosický (when he wasn’t injured lol). And our previous teams also had some scandals, like drunk driving and prostitutes at hotels etc… This all seems to be a thing of the past, and the current team (including the manager) carries itself with a lot more dignity. The last shitheads left seemed to be Krmenčík (diver) and Kúdela (if you remember the whole Kúdela-Kamara incident from two years ago, where Kúdela allegedly racially abused Kamara during a match between Slavia Prague and Rangers. It’s not my place to speculate whether he did or did not, but Kúdela later mocked the whole situation, so it’s obvious he didn’t understand why it was a big deal. Yeah I don’t like him.) They are both now playing in Indonesia so hopefully they’re not getting a callup again. The rest of the team seems to be likable.

The coach, Jaroslav Šilhavý. He comes across as a gentleman, a really good guy, well-spoken, calm, collected, and approachable. Kind of nice dad vibes. He said a couple days back that sometimes the players are shocked when he uses vulgar language because he just seems like such a nice person who would never say “fuck” or anything. He seems to be reasonable, maybe too conservative in football tactics, but really a good person overall, polite, and fair.

The most known players are probably Tomáš Souček and Vladimír Coufal, and they both represent well what we love seeing in NT players. Hard-working, passionate about football, no celebrity bullshit. Souček is the captain, and probably leads better by example and stamina than by motivational speeches, but I am happy to see him as a captain. Sometimes people say he’s kind of “simple” (he does speak in a way that gives the impression XD), but I think it’s true in the sense that he really just genuinely loves running and kicking a ball and that’s all he wants to do. He’s literally a cinnamon roll.

Coufal is the no-nonsense soldier, who “dies on the pitch for the team” (as he himself says). I admire him a lot, he worked hard, he got to the Prem from the thirddivision of the Czech league (where he was getting “paid” in beer and sausages). And the best thing is, he is no stupid "red card collector" or "just a fighter". He can look like that on the pitch, but off it, he comes across as an intelligent family man. He really embodies the heart and spirit.

Now onto the star. Patrik Schick, he really shined at the Euros, and then last year in Bundesliga. He’s kind of the poster boy, very handsome as well (and his sister is a model; I think he was kinda considering that career as well?). I was pleasantly surprised when I listened to an interview with him that he’s very grounded, down-to-earth, kinda shy, doesn’t enjoy posting on social media too much etc. Plus, he is best friends with Jankto (and I hope he’s being supportive). They usually room together and play FIFA haha, they also did a couple of interviews and challenges together.

(I lowkey shipped them, now I feel kinda bad about that)

I really like Antonín Barák, who plays in Italy (Fiorentina); he commented on Jankto's instagram post, he also distanced himself from a presidential candidate who was using the NT's shirt (with Barák's number) in his campaign, he seems to be one of the "socially responsible ones" in the team.

the rest of the team is kinda meh, i don't know enough about them to really say much - some of them just seem to be boring and with no interests or personality (Vydra), some of them are predicted to be stars (Adam Hložek, he's the starboy, 20 years old, but hasn't really stepped up in the NT yet)...

And about Jakub himself: he comes across as very determined and focused. I listened to an interview with him some time ago where he spoke about how he went to play in Italy at 18, and how he learned to "take care of himself", cook, speak Italian, live on a budget etc. Then he decided he would like to play in Spain so he learned Spanish. He's also into esports and owns an esports team (but apparently he's not very good at them himself, as Patrik Schick always beats him - at least that's what Patrik said). He seems to be approachable, e. g. he appeared in a video quiz done by a Czech football-focused youtuber (who's not super famous). Also, he likes to draw/paint, and did a drawing of Paulo Dybala some years ago. He always seemed to be a very driven person with various hobbies, and I felt a bit sorry for him coming back to the Czech league (and not performing very well). The thing is, he used to play for Slavia years ago, then he was in Italy and Spain, and now he's in Sparta (Slavia's biggest rival), so a lot of people hated on him for that. And he wasn't performing well for the NT and for the club in the past months - which could be related to him sorting out his personal life. He went through a divorce, then his ex-wife sort of alluded to him not paying the child's support (they have a son) in kinda cryptic Instagram posts, the situation around him was a mess.... Now the ex-wife spoke of her support for him, and said that she hopes he can be at peace, safe and happy.

I really hope Jankto's coming out will help people - the players and fans alike - realize how much homophobic banter still goes "under the radar" most of the time here, and that they will become more aware of how difficult it must be for Jankto to be constantly in such environment.

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐡 - Paddy x Augustin

i'm on that paddy/augustin bullshit and i HAD to write a little fic about them. ugh, i can't with these two. and like, the show should've shown us what happened after Augustin got back like?!?!? a missed opportunity💅🏻

Warnings: spoilers for episode 6 of S.A.S.!!!, angst, and hurt/comfort my beloved🥰

word count | 0.9k (short n' sweet)🤙🏻

Augustin was exhausted, drained, hopeless…betrayed. 

He thought he knew his men, he really did. Paddy kept saying that his German ally would turn on him, and he ended up being right. Though, it wasn’t Essner like he thought it would be. 

It took them all by surprise, a very deadly surprise. He was surprised he even made it out unscathed, nothing but a couple light burn marks on his back. It was only the adrenaline that got him out of that enemy camp. It was hard to be thankful when all his men, people he had known since the war even started, all were dead. 

Survivor’s guilt already weighed heavy on the Frenchman’s shoulders.

He already dreaded what would happen when he got back to camp, alone and unsuccessful in the mission. How would everyone react? How would Paddy react? Maybe he’d kill him right on the spot. He wouldn't put it past him, knowing how quick he was to anger. If that twisted roulette game he played just to prove a point was any indication, Augustin was probably in for a world of hurt. But at this point, it was hard to care what would happen to himself now.

By the time he made it back to camp, Augustin was dehydrated, his muscles were throbbing in pain, his lips bloody from how chapped they got in the desert sun, skin blistered from the coarse sand and sunburnt; he was in a bad way. He heard shouts from his comrades before falling to the desert floor, his vision going dark.

When Augustin finally regained consciousness, he jolted upright with a fearful expression before he heard soft shushes from beside him, a firm but reassuring hand on his shoulder. He tried not to look so surprised when he saw it was Paddy that was sitting at his bedside, looking over him in subtle concern. “Took quite a tumble out there, Frenchie.” Paddy spoke in his familiar Irish accent, sitting back in his chair.

Augustin would’ve rolled his eyes at the nickname if it weren’t for his splitting headache he had coming on, his mouth was so dry, discomfort written all over his face. Paddy seemed to instantly take notice as he handed him a glass of water, the Frenchman immediately taking big gulps, letting out a loud exhale of relief as he felt the lukewarm liquid travel down his throat pleasantly. “How long have I been asleep?” Augustin asked hesitantly, almost too afraid to know the answer.

“Just half a day. Lads took care of ya real quick after you made it back, gettin’ ya out of the sun, tending to your burns.”

Augustin nodded in acknowledgement, awkwardly taking a few more sips from his glass, his body feeling way too stiff and uncomfortable, from the burns and the Irishman’s intense gaze on him.

“So, ya gonna tell me what happened?” Paddy gave him an expectant look, almost smug, like he knew what already had taken place. He wasn’t being subtle with the way he was just longing to utter the words I told you so. He had made his concerns quite clear, and Augustin felt like a fool to not take his words seriously before it was too late.

Augustin sighed heavily, pushing his glasses up higher on his face. “It wasn’t Essner…”

Paddy nodded, the corner of his lips quirking up into a smirk. “Tweedle Deutsche. He was my second choice.”

Augustin growled in frustration, glaring at the Irishman with disdain. “Must you make a joke about everything? My men died!”

“It’s not my fault you didn’t take my advice. I told you-”

“Don’t!” Augustin yelled, throwing his empty water glass across the tent, making Paddy’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, the glass shatter echoing throughout the area. “Don’t…” Augustin’s voice dropped to a whisper, angry tears welling up in his eyes and threatening to spill over, doing exactly that only when his hid his face in his hands, an embarrassed blush spreading across his face and neck when he couldn’t keep himself from letting out soft sobs and his hands only doing so much to muffle them. “You were right, Paddy…You were right and I didn’t listen and now my men are dead…Maybe I should’ve died with them.” 

“Don’t say that.” Paddy quickly spoke, but Augustin only looked up from his hands when he felt his cot shift, seeing the Irishman take an awkward seat next to his legs, resting a hand on his knee in an attempt to be reassuring, but both men were acutely aware that reassurance wasn’t and would never be Paddy’s forte. “No…it wasn’t your fault. It was that Nazi rat’s fault for being a dirty traitor.” He spat, his accent becoming much thicker when he was angry.

Augustin couldn’t resist letting out a weak chuckle, wiping away some of his fallen tears. “I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, Paddy. But I know when I need to take responsibility for my actions.”

“Try not to dwell on it is all the advice I can give you, but I know how hard that is.” Paddy's gaze turned forlorn as he thought back to Eoin, knowing his actions back then was the reason he was dead. “Impossible, really…I am sorry about your men though. They were good men, despite being French.” Paddy joked, but his words held no malice as they normally did, a very good possibility it was for Augustin’s sake though he’d never admit it. “And for what it’s worth…I’m glad you made it out alive.”

Augustin grinned, his confidence returning, it only for a moment. “Aw, have you started to care about me, Paddy Mayne?”

“Oi, don’t push your luck, tadpole.”

i request more of them in the next season plz

[dongtopus]

I did what i imagine a lot of other folks did with their work on AO3 and restricted it to registered users only, and my view count has frozen in time. it's a measly, meager 44x at my last check in.

I'm glad nobody has really seen it, cos this piece i've been tyring to fix for the last mumblling months is kicking the piss outta me lads.

When i'm happy with it, i'll be back on my bullshit and begging you to ready about my sad man (which one?) and his reluctant caretaker (which one?).

Not every chapter has to be solid gold, it's good to leave things at just 'done' but sometimes, it really is just fucking bad.

It's so frustrating to get maybe a couple of hours a week, if i get that plus the energy to do so to work on The Corpse & the Spider. Thank fuck I'm not actually publishing this. I'd go self published anyway I think. all I hear is horror stories about publishing anyway and finally getting something to print comes across more of a "thank fuck that's over with" than "hell yeah i did it!"

Lost track here.

Cheers, i guess