#back in my day (shakes a cane)

[conceptofjoy]

as much as i love karkat she would be like kids (people of earth c) these days have it so easy they dont even have to fight their 6 foot animal guardian for scraps of splorngus meat. what do you mean they dont make sopor anymore, yeah it gave some trolls brain damage but whats the fucking point if you dont live a little. everyone are such fucking pussies.

[sunnythefreakus]

Why do ppl call it "dead dove content" when "dead dove: do not eat" just means "Check the tags for warnings." In fact why does it exist at all? When did people stop looking at the tags to determine whether they want to read something or not? Why not just use "darkfic" and "hurt no comfort" and "whump" and "angst" alongside other specific warning tags that apply to the work? Since you're already doing it anyway? Why are we reminding people to check the tags all the time? If a reader fails to check an adequately tagged work, that's on them. It's like some kind of shift happened when I wasn't looking. I'm not like.. a fandom founder or anything what Happened when did it become an indicator meaning "this is not your mommy's fluff fic"

[wyndlerunner]

“I go by Moonlight,” the woman said. “We like code names. It’s one of our things.”

“I… have never heard that word before.”

“You wouldn’t have, since you have no moon here.”

Spotting Worldhoppers used to be about noticing when a background character in a Stormlight book swore on “Merciful Domi” instead of on the Stormfather

Now world hoppers appear on page with big signs on their foreheads reading “I’m from a different planet”

[his-red-right-hand]

Questions 3, 9 and 22 for Danny :)

*rubs my grubby little hands together*

3. Least favourite canon thing about this character?

Okay, so my boy has a pretty solid canon, what little we have of it. But I do have a quibble. Sneaky sneak stealth man wears very strong cologne? I know it's to make people go "Huh, what's that smell?" but it just feels weird. (Also more lore plz.)

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Given that most of the being roommates experience with me is just occasionally seeing me in the kitchen otherwise I'm just hiding in my room all the time, I feel like this is a yes. Although I may get murdered as I would be in the kitchen at 5am getting snacks when Danny comes back in post-murder.

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

His dick. I kid. Him actually being examined as a character based on his lore. This terrible gremlin man has a really fun personality through what we have and it seems like a shame to disregard it for Generic Sexy Slasher Man.

What I dislike, as someone who remembers the 90's, is when people don't bother to check when certain things were invented and popularised. Like DVDs. And AOL messenger. Those were like a decade later, it makes me feel so old when you think those were around in 1993.

[greenbergsays]

In case you want to feel absolutely fucking ancient, E (my nephew, now fourteen) sent me this message earlier:

“Aunt [Dessie], I’m wondering what people mean when they put :) or :(”

My brain, immediately:

[space-r0ach]

Having to put on my glasses to go on my tablet like a lil granny cuz I can’t see for shit is just sad 😭

I JUST TURNED 13 YOU DONT HAVE TO RUB IT IN UNIVERSE

[evilvvitch]

wait so I still can’t see hole pics on here?? 🥺

[grimmssnarl]

goddamn where are all the other pokemon at.

[angelxcz]

“𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐨𝐧.”

ᥫ᭡. jjk men making you cum through your panties

characters; gojo, toji, geto, nanami, choso

content; smut, daddy kink, thigh riding, vibrator use, pussy eating, needy choso, petnames, praise

gojo finds it so cute how wet your are for him. when he crawls in between your legs to see the wet spot on your panties he smirks. his hands gripping both your legs and spreading them apart. “i think we can have some fun like this.” licking a stripe up your clothed pussy.

you became a moaning mess when he kept licking hungrily at the soaked fabric. groaning into you as he let his tongue taste your sweetness, occasionally stopping to suck at your sensitive clit with a hum. you mewled, your back arching off the bed as you reached down to grip his hair. “f-fuck, satoru.”

gojo grunted, placing a small kiss to your clit before lifting his head slightly to smirk up at you. “wonder if i can make that pretty pussy squirt just from this.” wasting no time before getting back to sloppily licking and sucking.

“nngh- ahh, satoru—” you whimpered, your toes curling as your head fell deeper into the pillow. yes. yes he could make you cum just from this. “o-oh- cumming! ‘m cumming.” you cried, your body shaking as your pussy gushed. squirting streams of your sweetness into gojo’s awaiting mouth.

you breathed heavily in an attempt to catch your breath. your body jerking when your boyfriend teasingly slapped your sensitive cunt. “shit. didn’t think it’d work.” he mused.

toji makes you squirm for the entire day before allowing you to get yourself off. kissing you softly with a smirk as he watched you desperately rut your hips back and forth on his thigh. the huge wet spot on your panties rubbing off onto his skin as you moaned and whimpered. “t-toji, nngh- daddy.” you mewled, gripping onto his shoulders in an attempt to speed up your pace.

“that’s it doll. that’s a good fucking girl” he groaned, “ya look so hot when you’re all desperate to cum.”

you could only let out a cry, your pussy clenching around nothing when your eyes met his. a string of shaky high pitched whimpers falling past your parted lips as you neared your high. “o-oh f-uckk— ahh, ‘m cumming. daddy ‘m cumming.”

“s-shit, go ahead doll. make a mess f’ me.” he breathed, his cock straining against his pants as he watched you fall apart. your head falling back as your body trembled, your back arched and your moans broken as you messily squirted in your panties.

the liquid drenching your boyfriend’s thigh as you continued to grind onto him. you let out a satisfied breath, your puffy folds sticky and wet with your slick as you cane down from your high. “t-thank you daddy.” you bit your lip, toji grinning before taking hold of your waist and pinning you roughly onto the couch. “my turn.”

geto loves fucking you. but he also loves seeing you fall apart under a vibrator. holding you against his chest, your legs held up in the air by one of his hands while the other pressed the toy to your clothed clit. the loud whirring filling the room as pleasure shot through you.

“nngh- o-oh shit— suguru.” you mewled, attempting to arch your hips as the strong vibrations were sent directly into your clit. “f-fuck.”

geto watched with a smirk as you moaned loudly, your eyes filling with pleasurable tears when he pressed it even further onto the sensitive bud. your breathing sped up, head falling onto his chest as the wet spot on your panties grew bigger.

your eyes rolling back and your whimpers becoming shaky as you neared your orgasm.

“there we go. look at that. look so pretty like this.” geto cooed, bringing his lips down to neck as your body began to tremble. your eyes rolling back and your mouth hanging open in a silent scream.

“that’s it- give it to me.” your pussy clenching around nothing at his words before you were cumming uncontrollably, your back arched as your squirts seeped through the fabric and onto his thighs. geto only groaning as he kept the vibrator in place. “good girl, now give me another one.”

nanami sometimes likes to make you cum with his fingers on your clothed clit. laying you down on your bed and pressing his lips to yours while his two fingers rubbed small circles on the bud. the blond man swallowing your moans and whimpers as your back arched.

you let out a small cry when nanami started to kiss down your chest. settling his mouth on your breasts with a groan of his own. sucking one of your nipples into his mouth while he twisted the other with his free hand.

“ahh- kento,” you moaned softly, letting out a string of pretty whines as you grew closer and closer.

“that’s it sweetheart, cum for me when you’re ready.”

you could only mewl, your lips parted in heavy breaths as his skilled fingers worked you off the edge. your body jerking slightly as you shakily breathed his name. letting out another moan when his teeth grazed your nipple.

nanami smiled as you came, feeling you wet your panties with your slick as your body quivered shortly. you panted, nanami coming back up to press his lips onto yours. “gonna fuck you so good now sweetheart.”

choso is needy. so when you tell him he can’t stick it in for reasons he didn’t bother understanding, he finds another way. thrusting needily into the fabric of your panties as he moaned, his precum adding to the wetness of the fabric.

“nngh— f-fuck, so good.” choso whimpered, his hips moving rhythmlessly in attempt to make himself cum. something that he could do even without contact. “b-baby- ahh, does it feel good baby?”

you nodded with a mewl, feeling your boyfriend’s tip bumping into your clit with each of his thrusts. his parted lips and teary eyes making your pussy clench as you moaned out. “feels good baby- nngh— really g-good.”

choso smiled down at you, his hands growing weak as he came closer to spilling. his body laying flat onto yours before he buried his face into your neck. his drool coating your skin as his cock desperately rubbed against you.

“baby,” choso breathed, “i’m so close- are you close too?”

“mhm!”

“f-fuck, ‘m gonna cum- let’s cum to- ahh— together okay?” he let out a high pitched mewl.

you nodded with a cry, your back arching as you made a mess in your panties. drenching the fabric in your wetness making choso groan. his eyes rolling back and his body trembling as he came, the sticky substance spurting onto your clothed cunt as you both panted. “again, please.”

[hotpinkstars]

How about blind!reader with genshin men (you can choose) and she accidentally slipped and somehow managed to mess up genshin man’s important work and he ends up blowing up on her? Angst please and I don’t mind if you do comfort or no comfort!!

Have a great day🌚

-> blinded mistakes

synopsis -> you're blind, and you accidentally knock over a months worth of your husbands work, and it gets ruined.

warnings -> super angsty!!! brief mentions of ayato putting his hands on reader (no hitting or anything) might do a part 2 for comfort part cus i wanted to focus on the main argument w this one...

a/n -> ooooooomg i'm a sucker for these tropes i love angst so much. thx for ur request, this was sm fun to write! 💗💗

w/c -> 1.1k

-> ayato

ayato knew you were blind, and he was as understanding of it as he possibly could be.

but in times like these, where all of this work was to be turned in for city matters by next week, he had no patience for anyone.

he had been cooped up in his office for a while at a time over the past month. these documents were incredibly important to him and how the words written on the paper could impact how festivities were held to be a much easier way for himself and the city. 

basically, his papers were pretty damn important. and you knew that.

you walked in his office one day with thoma helping you through the hallways. you didn’t want to trip, especially with a mug of tea in your hand, and you didn’t want to bring a cane with you. 

but, thoma may have made a big mistake of leaving you in ayatos care as soon as you walked through the door. because you knew ayato was in no way shape or form able to draw himself from his work at the moment.

you were not able to use your cane to feel around the room, so without knowing where the rug was, you tripped.

and the tea you held in your hands went all over his desk, soaking his documents. the ink was splotchy and obviously ruined. you weren’t able to see what happened, but by the way ayato gasped and grabbed your wrist you knew you fucked up pretty bad.

“what the hell were you thinking???” he pulls you up forcefully and pushes you down on his couch, where you started tearing up. you weren’t necessarily used to him yelling at you, for arguments, especially over such as this, were very minimal. he always found a way to come to an understanding with you, no matter what you may have ruined. 

“i’m sorry! i didn’t think thoma was just going to leave-” you were cut off by an angry voice.

“this isn’t thomas issue, y/n. it’s yours. how clueless can you be?” he brings his hands to his face, rubbing the bridge of his nose before groaning loudly. 

“i’m sorry that i can’t fucking see, ayato!” you yelled back, slamming your hands on the couch and leaning back. “is that what you wanted to hear?”

he shook his head, but you didn’t know that. he lays his hands on your thighs, squeezing them, before getting close to your face. you could smell his hair, the sakura shampoo he uses being evident. 

“i don’t want a fucking apology, y/n. if these documents are not in by friday, there is no change for inazuma. the change you’ve been awaiting, the change i’ve been awaiting, and the change everyone of the city has been awaiting. you took that away from all of them. because you decided you weren’t going to bring your cane to make sure you don’t fucking fall!” he yells to your face, making the tears spill out.

“i’m sorry! i just wanted to bring you something to drink because i was told you were overworking yourself. gosh, how bad of me for caring for my husband,” you yelled, hands shaking in both fear and rage. you knew talking back to him this way wouldn’t lead to anything good, but you tested your luck anyways.

“remove yourself from my office. i don’t care how the fuck you do it, but i demand you leave,” he said with a low, threatening tone. you knew he was enraged, and you stumbled through the door to the hallway, where ayaka was waiting to take you back to your room.

-> wriothesley

you always felt grateful for wriothesley, and the last thing you wanted to do was to upset him. he was one of the only people to look past your disability and see your heart, see your kindness and purity. 

so when you come up his office stairs very, very slowly with a cup of tea and trip on an uneven plate in the ground, ruining his documents that were incredibly important to him and the palais mermonia, especially to neuvillette, you knew you were screwed.

normally, this didn’t happen. he’d meet you down by his office door after a guard or sigewinne escorted you through the fortress, and help you walk up the stairs with the support of his arm.

he immediately slams his hands down on his table, walking over to where you were. 

you felt his presence looming over you, though unable to see it, you slowly and carefully sit up. he lifts up your chin before speaking.

“why. why would you do that,” he starts in a low tone, something similar he’d use to speaking to misbehaved criminals. “i told you not to visit me today. and what do you do? the complete fucking opposite!” 

you rub your eyes, trying to show no signs of weakness. you stand up, and he grabs your hands, making you feel the mess you made. ripped papers, bleeding ink. a month of progress is officially gone. 

“you feel what you did? that has taken me months! and it’s ruined! if i lose my job because of this-” he starts, dropping your hands as you turn around, your bottom leaning against the desk. 

“i’m sorry! i should’ve either stayed home or have a guard escort me up, i didn’t mean to ruin your progress!” you wipe more tears away, hearing him give an annoyed sigh. 

“you’re right. you shouldn’t have come at all. this would never have happened if you didn’t come. do you understand how much trouble i could be in? if you didn’t visit me at all, i wouldn’t have to go through the embarrassment of asking for new documents, and i wouldn’t have to do hundreds of papers in three damned days!” he says, obviously distressed.

“look, i’m sorry, okay?! you can tell neuvillette and all of fontaine that i was the one who ruined everything if you want to! i’m sorry about the hassle and i’m sorry for putting more stress on you! all i wanted to do was bring you a cup of tea because you left the house stressed this morning!” you yelled back, crying at this point. “if you don’t want the embarrassment, then you can embarrass me. it seems like i’ve done enough to deserve it, so do it! tell the whole world what i did wrong, and how horrible of a wife i was!”

you called a guard in to escort you out, and that was the last wriothesley had seen of you that day.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

Hi! I don't know if you are open to requests and if you're not completely ignore this request!!

Could I get a drabble/one-shot of Husk or Alastor finding their wife from the living world has come to the hotel? Like this is their first time seeing her after many years? Thank you and I Hope you have a good day/night!!

A/n: I'm gonna do both!

Husk:

It was that stupid fucking smirk that pissed him off, why did that prick look so fucking smug?! "What the fuck are you looking at?"

Alastor hummed turning his back to the cat demon as he waved him off. "I know something you don't know."

"What the fu-."

His name, his real name that he hadn't heard in years from a voice that still remains in his mind echoed through out the bar. His eyes went wide taking in the appearance of the new inhabitant of the Hotel.

Expect she wasn't new, oh god she wasn't new. Taking a hesitant step forward, he never thought he would see you again. His wife, his lovely wife.

It did not take long for him to pull you in his arms, his chest heaving as he desperately clung to you. Even with your broken wings you were still beautiful.

Pulling back slightly, Husk's ears flattened on his head. A deep purr leaving his chest as he looked into your eyes. "I know I ain't much to look at."

Shaking your head, you didn't care. After living in Heaven for so long you finally found the love of your life. "Who are you kidding, you still handsome." Sighing you buried your face into his chest to listen to his heart beat. "Know matter what you are I will always love you."

"I never stopped loving you...my angel."

Alastor:

He was trying to ignore what ever Charlie was blabbering about, something about a new inhabitant to the hotel....someone for him to exploit? Well lets just see how naive they really are.

Though the moment he spotted them, he felt his smile twitch. This had to be some cruel joke, a punishment. You did not belong here! you were to pure for hell, to kind!

It was a mistake, it had to be a mistake. "I don't know who you are but go back to where you came from! I should just rip you apart for taking the visage of my wife!"

You could feel the tears sliding down your cheeks as you took a step forward. But with every step you took forward he took on back and soon his back hit the wall. Ears twitching back and forth, you could see his hand gripping that cane tight in his grasp.

You had to make him see it was you, so you hummed, you hummed that song he sang to you on your wedding night, the song he would sing to to your anniversary, the one he sang the night you were killed.

You let your hand glide across his cheek, you could see the smile wavering as he finally took you into his arms.

"You came back to me." He whispered into your neck.

Nuzzling your face into his chest, you smiled as your eyes closed. "And I will never leave you again."

[genderqueer-karma]

yes, i'm inches away from being in my physical prime. yes, i have the hip aches of someone 4-5x my age. we exist

[monsterfuckerconfessions]

Imagining being locked into a pillory for several days as punishment for some minor indiscretion, the town I live in both conservative and authoritarian and the church ruling with an iron fist that is tolerated due to the fear of the 'demons' in the forest. I am clamped into heavy wooden blocks at the wrists and neck and cannot see anything behind me.

During the day the townsfolk largely look away, a few throwing small stones or refuse at me from a distance. One or two bolder types come close enough to beat me with hard, painful strokes with their cane or riding crop.

At night, though, I feel movement behind me and my dress being pushed up around my waist, and though I expected this I still beg them to reconsider. It is not a large town, whoever this is I know them and I cannot bear the shame. An answer comes as a growl; that, I did not expect. I am locked tight into the blocks and cannot get away when I feel the clawed hands on me, when I feel the too-large, ridged and knotted cock burying itself in me. I can't see what it is. I only know it cannot be human.

It fucks me roughly but less brutal than I expect, then I feel it swell and lock inside me, hours of midnight silence to follow broken only by my ragged breathing and the occasional low growl. It pulls out of me a little before the sun starts to rise. I can hear it begin to pad away, and without thinking, exhausted and shaking, I thank it out loud for not killing me. After all, that is what everyone says demons do.

It comes back the next night. Well, something like it does. Maybe there's more than one of them.

It - or they - come back and mount me each night, breeding me like the trapped animal I am. I never see them. But in the pitch black of night I occasionally feel half a piece of fresh, sweet fruit stuffed into my mouth, or a dribble of water. And during the day the cruel treatment ebbs, people's enthusiasm dimmed by a new wave of supernatural attacks. Savage, and unpredictable. Or so they say, but their glances flicker scared in my direction. A pattern they do not want to see; anyone who came close and beat me has not survived the night.

When I am released from the pillory I wait a few days to allay suspicion then disappear in the night with everything I need in a small satchel. I get out into the dark forest, where the demons live, and in the soft glow of sunset I strip naked and drop to my knees, lowering my body to the ground and my hips high, legs parted. I want them to come. I want them to take me. I want to see them. I want to thank them.

.

[fraugwinska]

Okay but can you do an Al that quite likes to be put in his place by the reader behind closed doors? Can be sfw or NSFW, your choice. Radio Demon deserves to let off some steam losing control. 😏

Oh, what a fun ask that was - I approached it the best way I could, and I for one love it :D My gift to you and everyone who wants to! Attention: This is not mild, it's getting ✨spicy✨! ;>

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hard Day

There were three telltale signs.

Alastor had come home from another meeting of the overlords. He greeted Charlie and the others with his usual smile and the obligatory mocking quip at Angels playful flirtations. But what others didn't see was blatantly obvious to you. 

One: His left eye twitched constantly. 

Niffty and you were on dinner duty that evening, so the kitchen was, despite your best efforts to tidy up behind her, a raging mess of pots, chopped ingredients and various spots of sauces and suspect fluids. When Alastor came in to get himself a cup of coffee and saw the mess, he excessively scolded the poor girl for being unnecessarily messy. 

Two: Losing his patience with Niffty. 

After dinner, you and him would routinely join Husk at the bar, you for a digestif, him to get into 'entertaining' banter with the cat demon, who'd pour him a glass of whiskey or two while they'd bicker. Today, he stayed quiet, just played an experimental jazz song from his cane, and when Husk reached for the bottle of rye, Alastor shook his head. 

Three: Arhythmical tapping of his claws on the barcounter. 

You downed your drink and exclaimed loudly that you were tired. Like a routine, Husk grinned as he took you glass back, turned away to give Alastor the cue to shoot you that look, and the deer followed you silently, taking the invitingly open hand of yours when you were out of sight. 

You beelined straight to your room - not his, that was his domain, his kingdom where he could rule over you - the wrong place for tonight. 

You lead him through the door, letting go of his hand and locking it behind you. When you turned, he had already loosened his tie, throwing it on the ground with a frustrated huff, brows furrowed and gums showing from the tightness of his snarl. 

“Hard day.” You don't ask: you state; and he paced through your room, struggling. You knew the drill, you waited, patiently, neutral. You knew how hard it was for him to overcome his desire to control, to willingly give it up, but also, how much he needed it in these moments.

Finally, he came to rest his head on your shoulder, forehead pressed in the crook of your neck. 

“Please.”, he whispered, the voice filter completely gone. The go point. You smiled. 

“Sit.” 

You followed him to your bed, where he did as he was told. Sitting down on the edge, ears pressed against his head, gaze fixed on the carpet. 

You unbuttoned his coat, pushing it off his shoulders and away from him. Then the vest, then his shirt. The silence only disturbed by occasional fizzing of his static, a hint of his inner turmoil of letting you take the lead. 

You ignored it, throwing the discarded clothes on a chair nearby. You placed your hands on each of his shoulders, and leaned in. Hungrily, he took your lips, his tongue slid out, licking over them to demand entrance - you stopped, face neutral. 

“No.”, you said, not harsh, but firm. 

“No.”, he repeated, sighing. 

As you returned to his mouth, you let your hands wander, over his collarbone, smooth and grayish, fading into soft, red fur on his chest and onto his back - firm, tense, rigid. 

He didn't attempt another grab for power, although you knew his body wanted to. His claws dug into the mattress, as if to prevent them from grabbing your flesh. He was shaking. 

You knelt down before him, hands already on the buttons of his trousers. Your steady eyes stayed glued on his burning ones.  He took a sharp breath when you stroked his freed, already hard member, a slow, soft, explorative stroke. He closed his eyes. 

“No.”, you said again, and he opened them immediately, irises shifting to dials and back. “Eyes on me, my buck.”

The pet name made him shiver, a low groan escaped his throat. Your lips twitched with a smile - moments like these made you feel so immensely happy, to be the one the big bad Radio Demon was submitting to, letting him be weak before you.

With a hum, you took him in your mouth, sliding your lips down his shaft as far as you could. He answered with a moan, deliberate and desperate. His head fell back, you heard your sheets ripping from his tightening grip. Up and down, with your tongue swirling over his reddened tip at every stroke, you sucked him into frenzied panting.

His right hand lifted, reached for your hair, intended to grip it, to guide you on his cock, but you caught him on his wrist, popping him out of you with harsh coldness. 

“Ah ah ah.”, you tutted, tilting your head at him. He looked almost manic at this point. “Only good boys are allowed to cum. And you want to cum, my buck, don't you?”

Alastor growled, but it sounded more like a whine. 

“I can't hear you.”, you teased with a single stroke of your hand on his throbbing member. 

“Yes.”

“Good. Then behave.”

He did. His moans and growls became more heated, loud and frantic as he let himself unravel inside your mouth. You felt him tremble, his thighs you gripped shaking under your fingers. 

“Darling…”

You hummed, not relenting, keeping your pace. You knew what he wanted, what he needed, but he had to ask first. 

“Darling… may I… “, he was gritting his teeth, beads of sweat on his temples and his grin on the verge of breaking. It was enough. 

“Cum.” was all that you said, in the mere second your lips were breaking contact to his tip - it was all he needed. A heartbeat later, he came, violently, securely, in the safe and warm enclosure of your throat. You drank him up, swallowed two times so not to spill any of his precious seed, feeling him twitch inside and pant before you. 

He pulled you up to him, onto his chest, and you let him - handing him the power back like a baton.  He kissed you forcefully, his first instinct to reassure he was back in control, to return you to submission again - you smiled at that thought.  He embraced you, tenderly, pressing you into him like a soft pillow, and took a long, content breath. 

“Hard day.” he said, stroking your hair as you closed your eyes, relieved to hear his heart beat steady once more. 

[nako-doodles]

i just searched and it seems to be up with retro servers but i kinda meant nobody was still playing. but im surprised its still going! like when it was live... omg so many people but when i got on the last time, i could barely play 2 games cus it took forever and no one was on. but u have heard it!! gunbound was so serious when the whole crew plays and we were up all night, and u had those xmas events ahhh i miss it all 😭

if you could get some of your friends to play along you might make a couple games 👀👀👀

[luciferlightbringer]

Love In a Hopeless Place

Chapter 1

Hey all! This is Dany (they/them) and its my first time writing a fanfic, so please be nice :) This will be multiple chapters but I'm not sure how many, so we will see how this goes! This chapter is mostly set up :) Lucifer x prostitute fem!Reader Word Count:2.6k words CW: Mentionings of suggestive sexual content, prostitution, angst, sadness, depression (there will be more fluff/smut in later chapters)

Chapter 1|Chapter 2| Updated through Chapter 12!

Light of the morning started to stream into the large bedroom through a small gap in the curtains, the light hitting at just the right angle as the light slowly moved throughout the morning until the light started to cascade down the face King of Hell.

Lucifer began to blink his eyes open, groan, and shift away from the thin line of light that had disturbed him from his well fought for sleep. After a few minutes he sighed, lifted his head up high enough to look at the clock before letting his head drops back into the pillow with a groan.

"Too early," Lucifer mumbled to himself against his pillow. But after a few more minutes, he started to stretch and sit up in bed, because he needed to, because he was the King and eventually there would be some meeting or paperwork that he would need to attend to.

Lucifer briefly glanced over to the side of his bed, her side of the bed, well... not anymore. Not for the last seven years. He felt a familiar tightness start to form in his chest as he stared at it.

Lucifer shook his head as if to try and shake the bittersweet memories of his life with Lilith away, crawled out of bed, and went to his wardrobe to find some clothes for the day before the sad thoughts could stop his momentum. He put on his signature white and red suit adorned with little gold details, black bowtie and boots. He did the best he could to smooth out his messy blonde hairs before popping on his hat that was wrapped in a golden snake, along with an apple and a crown. Reminders of Eden.

Looking at himself in the mirror he looked pleased with his outfit, thinking of how if he looks fun, he will feel fun, and if he feels fun, he can get through another boring day... probably. Lucifer grabbed his cane and left the room to go to his study, flashing his big toothy charismatic grin to his staff and getting a quick update about his meeting later with the Sins from his secretary as he walked down the hallway.

As he got to his study, the maid was finishing setting up his breakfast for him at his desk. She turned, gave Lucifer a quick bow before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Lucifer turned to his desk and dropped the smile, something about it felt a little more painful today. He chalked it up to one of those days when he really didn't get good sleep, as opposed to the nights of just... regular bad sleep.

Lucifer ran his hands down his face and looked at the stacks of disorganized paperwork covering his desk, and sighed before taking a sip of his morning tea.

He sat down and got to work on the paperwork, trying to get as much done as he could before the meeting he had later that afternoon. It was gonna be a long day

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Before long, Lucifer was off to his meeting. He normally hates meetings, but he enjoyed getting to see some of the Sins, like Bee and Asmodeus, so that made it at least a little more tolerable. The meeting went by rather quickly, luckily, because most of the other Sins also normally hate meetings, and if the ran too long, people like Mammon would start complaining.

Asmodeus was the best one to have at meetings, he normally was in a good mood and either contributed ideas or was good at getting Mammon to shut up for a few extra minutes so that Lucifer could finish. Unfortunately, Asmodeus was also really good at picking up on when Lucifer's smile felt a little more forced than usual.

After the meeting, the other sins started to leave, and Asmodeus quickly grabbed Lucifer's attention before he teleported back home.

"Ah, Ozzie! What can I do for you, my friend?" Lucifer said turning towards his friend with a smile and a flick of his cane.

"Are you... doing ok Lucifer?" Asmodeus said cautiously, all three of his faces showing slight concern.

"Well ya of course! Why wouldn't I be?" Lucifer shifted a little as he stood, leaning slighting more on his cane, fidgeting with his suit jacket, and looking behind Asmodeus to check that everyone else was gone.

Shit, was it that obvious? I thought I keeping it together well, Lucifer thought to himself.

"Well... its just that... how do I put this... " Asmodeus put his hands together, and sighed, "You seem a little tense. Not like in a way that everyone can see, though. But... I just know you," he said putting a hand on his hip.

Lucifer deflated a little, dropped his smile and crossed his arms, "Fine. I just... didn't sleep well last night... I guess"

"Because?" Asmodeus asked, knowing there was probably more to it.

"Just the usual stuff, feeling lonely, boring meetings, more paperwork than I can deal with, its just all... ugh... draining..." Lucifer said sadly.

Asmodeus frowned, "And what do you do when you are feeling this way?"

Lucifer thought for a few minutes while, messing with his cane, "Lock myself in my office and make rubber ducks... or... stare at my ceiling... for hours."

Asmodeus rubs a hand down his main face before sighing and looking again at Lucifer, "If I may, Lucifer, you need to do something other than rubber ducks or staring at walls. I mean, there is nothing wrong with the duck. Just maybe try to get out there? Make some new connections, talk to someone other than just your staff, the Sins, or the Overlords. Literally anyone."

Lucifer scoffed, "Like who? I don't know if I am ready to try building anything with anyone again yet." Lucifer said looking at the ground.

"Well... when was the last time you talked to Charlie?" said Asdomeous

Lucifer flinched at hearing the name of his estranged daughter, they had not been close for a long time, not since she was small, definitely not since Lilith left him.

"Like... a month ago over the phone. We only ever talk for a few minutes at a time for small things... I don't know if she really wants anything to do with me. Or what I would even say to her" Lucifer said softly.

Asmodeus sighed, "Well you could always hire a prostitute or something to keep you company." He chuckled to himself.

Lucifer looked up as Asmodeus and blinked "I beg your pardon?"

Asmodeus holds up his hands innocently, "I'm just kidding!"

Lucifer looked off to the side and though for a second about the idea.

"Wait, are you actually considering it?" Asmodeus asked, a slight hint of amusement in his voice.

"Maybe. I guess... I could try it out and... if I don't like it or them I just never have to see them again... Right?" Lucifer looks at Asmodeus, who returned an encouraging nod. "But I don't know how the process works though, also, I kinda don't want it getting out that I've hired a prostitute," Lucifer said hesitantly, taking off his hat and running his fingers through his hair as he starts to stress about the idea.

Asmodeus' three faces lit up with joy, "Well lucky for you, I am just the guy to help you with this!" Cuz you know he is the Sin of Lust and all.

Asmodeus grabbed out his phone and started typing furiously while Lucifer looked on confused, curious, and a little nervous.

"I'm sending you my favorite recommendations, they always have the best options for prostitutes/call girls, and are always discreet. You can even use a fake name, maybe have a driver go pick them up, and pay in cash! Nothing gets traced back to you. I've helped some other Sins and Overlord get set up before." Asmodeus chimed as he wrote out his text to Lucifer, and then paused and looked up at him with a little bit of nervous regret for letting that last comment slip. "But you didn't hear that from me."

Lucifer mimed a motion of zipping his lips, locking it, and throwing the key behind him as he gave Asmodeus a wink.

Asmodeus smiled, then went back to his text "Ok, you will just need to call them and tell them what type of person you want, ok? I've put them in order of my most to least value places, they are all good though."

Lucifer continued to think about this new idea, a mix of emotions swirling in his stomach. He hated that it came to this, but Asmodeus was right, he was so fucking lonely and burnt out that he could not stand it. Lucifer didn't really know what he needed, but maybe a night of emotionally detached sex would blow off some steam. Worst case was that he hated it and sent the prostitute home early with a "sorry for wasting your time" tip. Ya... this could work.

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A couple hours later:

The phone began to ring in a smoke-filled room that was only lit up by a few dim lamps and some neon lights flashing in the window that flashed things like "Girls, GIrls, Girls", pictures of dicks, and boobs, the standard classy brothel window decor. A short, stout pig-looking man coughed, cleared his throat, and picked up the phone.

"Luxurious Lady's Lounge, how may we service you today?" the man said in his most charismatic voice, but not without hints of sleaze leaving their own lingering notes.

The man on the phone was requesting a companion for the night and asked for discreet services.

"No problem chief, we use codenames for a lot of our clients and ladies. How would you like to be addressed?" asked the pig-man.

The man on the phone hesitant for a moment before responding with with name, Lance.

"Alright, Lance, and what kind of companionship are you looking for tonight?" asked the man, now starting to eye the available options of people in the room as the man on the phone spoke.

Across the room, closer to one of the few lamps in the room, you sat lounging on one side of a large soft couch, waiting for your next possible client after just finishing an in-house session. You were a newer resident of hell, only had died a few months prior, and had found yourself in hell. A little disappointing, but not surprising, as the life you had been born into did not give you many chances to do much more than accept the opportunities that helped you scrape by, none of those opportunities being very virtuous, and that is what you still continue to do here in hell.

Upon arriving, you had quickly learned in hell that money unfortunately still mattered, which meant you still needed a job, and most jobs in general were awful, but you just needed something. During your first couple weeks in hell you looked at your options, until eventually Larry, the pig-man on the phone found you and took a likely to you, which led to you taking the job here. It was fine, sex was fun, it paid the bills, and you didn't think that sex would ever mean anything more than a fun pastime in hell, so why not?

"Alrighty! Well lucky for you Lance, I have just the girl for you." Larry laughed as he looked across the room at you and gave you a wink with one of his red eyes. "Her name is (y/n), and she will be ready for you at 9 pm sharp. Sound good?"

New client, 9 pm. You look at the time, you have an hour. You start to walk up to the desk, but wait for Larry to finish the call to get deals.

"Ok great, she will be ready for pick up then," Larry hangs up the call and turns to look at you as he takes a drag off of his cigarette. "Alright baby doll, you got a new one for the night, code name is Lance, wants to keep it discreet. Got it? Just looking for a nice, sweet girl to show him a good time, lonely bachelor type, and he will be sending a car for you at 9 pm. Make sure to be out there early and looking pretty, ok?" he said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Of course," you said smiling. You turned on heel to go back to the make up room to get ready. Sometimes his sleaze made you feel a little uneasy, but he looked out for you and, at least from the rumors you heard, you would later be here then working for some hot shot like Valentino who gets a temper with his employees. At least Larry kept his hands to himself, but his gaze always roamed freely.

As you start to walk back you hear another woman's voice hiss out, "Oooooo baby doll is getting a chauffeur, he sounds rich, make sure you don't fuck it up sweety!" followed by a group of obnoxious giggles.

Ugh, Cynthhhhia. One of the mean girls of the lounge, a snake-woman with a viperous attitude. She hangs around three other girls that are only slightly more tolerable when they are not hanging around her.

You continue walking to the back room without breaking your stride or looking at her, only responding with a sly smile and a "well maybe if you weren't such a mythic bitch, Larry would schedule you with some high rollers too, Cynthia."

"That's Cynthhhhia you li-" and the sound is cut off as you walk through the door to the back. All you can hear is the murmured yelling of Cynthhhhia and Larry trying to get her to shut up. She was mean to everyone, no one really knew why, or cared. You learned pretty quickly that it was better not to get pulled into the drama, but sometimes you couldn't help but throw a quick jab back at her.

Satisfied with yourself, you sit down to freshen up your makeup. New clients sometimes made you nervous because you never knew what to expect, but that was also half the fun. You liked getting to know new people, people seemed to like you well enough, you already had a few regulars that requested you frequently and tipped well. It wasn't glamourous, but it was something.

You finish up by putting on a simple pretty dress that was more appropriate for your journey through the public than the lacy lingerie you were wearing, partly because the client asked for the interaction to be discreet, also because you have learned that clients like to have a "reveal" of sorts most of the time. The look on their faces was always fun.

You look at the clock, it was almost time. You get on your long black coat that was lined with faux fur I mean you may be in hell, but you still didn't feel good about real fur jackets, and you walk out to the front of the brothel to wait for the car.

After a few minutes of waiting and a couple of cat calls from men walking down the street, a nice black car puts up front. A man in a suit rolls down the window and looks out at you with a stoic face, "y/n?"

You give a little wave and say "That's me, baby."

The man nods and the back door unlocks. You slide in and close the door. As the car starts to drive off you settle into the soft car seats, mentally getting ready for another night of work.

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