#baby birds and bat caves
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thatshadowgastwhore · 2 months ago
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I’m like, imagining a TikTok edit to tune if “I’ve been a million different people (etc)” but of all the different versions of Tim from my favorite fics, like a drakes spoiled brat Tim, a banshee in a well Tim, a having a me party Tim, a Lazarus mad dad Tim, a fly high or not at all Tim, a gotcha bug Tim, a ducks in wonderland Tim, a take it back now yall Tim, a baby birds and bat caves Tim, a signed Red Robin Tim, A HAND IN UNLOVABLE HAND TIM and I know it will never exist bc you can’t make an edit out of words on a screen but please, imagine it with me. And also read all those fics and come gab about them with me
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haveyoureadthisfanfic · 8 months ago
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Summary: Tim, having found a weird hole after a storm, decides to go exploring ignoring the fact that This Is Gotham and They Probably Have Cursed Stuff Down There. Luckily, it was just a cave system that spans the entire Gotham underground. Unluckily, Tim is a very curious child.
Author: @izzymrdb
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thatthirdtriplet · 1 year ago
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Relationships:
Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne Tim Drake & Jason Todd Tim Drake & Dick Grayson Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake Tim Drake & Edward Nygma
Characters:
Tim Drake Jason Todd Dick GraysonBruce Wayne Barbara Gordon original Non-Human Character(s) Alfred Pennyworth Stephanie Brown Cassandra Cain Edward Nygma
Additional Tags:
Caves fluff weird Gotham City Tim Drake-centric BAMF Tim Drake kid Tim Drake the Bat Cave kids are so curious smart Tim Drake Tim please stop running around in Gotham’s cave systems stalker Tim Drake implied/Referenced Child Abuse no beta we die like Robin tiny Tim Drake Tim Drake has the survival instincts of a wet paper bag crack Treated Seriously humour Tim looking at the cave system under the city: you know this might as well happen Bruce please stop him child Neglect Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent inspired by Welcome to Night Vale Hijinks & Shenanigans magic shennanigans BAMF Stephanie Brown BAMF Cassandra Cain Edward Nygma Tries Cryptid Tim Drake Tim Drake is Crow Tim Drake is Not Robin kid Fic Stephanie Brown is Starling Cassandra Cain is Black Bat Cassandra Cain is Black Bird
Summary:
Gotham was built on a cave system. Batman has referenced a Bat Cave before. Tim is currently in the cave system. He is in the cave system that he entered from Drake Manor. Drake Manor is right next door to where Batman- The Bruce Wayne- lives. Holy Cavern, Batman! Tim had just accidentally wandered into the Bat Cave’s cave system.
OR
Tim, having found a weird hole after a storm, decides to go exploring ignoring the fact that This Is Gotham and They Probably Have Cursed Stuff Down There.
Luckily, it was just a cave system that spans the entire Gotham underground. Unluckily, Tim is a very curious child.
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massivetittiesandwarcrimes · 3 months ago
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Since Clark is from the midwest, do you guys think he's ever brought puppy chow to the watchtower as a gift during the holidays or snack for parties or something, and just thoroughly confused 90% of his friends?
I mean, just picture Batman - Bruce Wayne, ultra-wealthy nepo baby from New Jersey raised by a British man - being presented with a bag of something called puppy chow by an excited and smiling Superman, and just... Having no idea how to respond.
Does he think Superman is an alien who is new to Earth, and has somehow confused animal food with human food? Or if he does know who Clark is, does he think this is some kind of joke; it's not his usual approach, but if Bruce had pissed him off lately I could see Batman being paranoid and thinking Clark is trying to use the alien excuse as a way to make him eat dog food as some kind of punishment.
Even most of the human born metas would probably be a little bit confused, because it very much is a Midwestern thing, and the comics are constantly moving the different cities around, so as far as I am aware, Clark Kent is the only superhero guaranteed to have grown up in the Midwest.
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izzymrdb · 2 years ago
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256,959
Fic writers, put in the tags what the difference in hits is between your most and least viewed fics. Mine is 7,720 (7,779-59).
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clockwayswrites · 9 months ago
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The bitties must cuddle. ""Birdtritch"" Part 5
masterpost
“Nightwing!” Tim shouted, leaning forward on his perch.
Nothing.
Then a black and blue stripped hand poked out of the green feathers in a thumbs up. “I’m okay!”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Nightwing,” Hood grumbled as he stalked forward. “Hey bird brain! Let go of my brother.”
“Aww, he called me brother,” Nightwing cooed over the line.
“…maybe you can keep him after all,” Hood said to the bird thing that had leaned down to peer at him.
The green glint of the bird thing’s eyes reflected off of Hood’s helmet. Then it blinked and in that moment dozens of abstracted cyan eyes blinked into existence around Hood.
Hood reached out to poke at one with the muzzle of his gun. It went right through the ‘eye’. “What the fuck…?”
The bird thing trilled back at Hood.
Tim tapped his comm to open the all channels line. “Um, so, we have… an eldritch bird creature that has been exposed to cuddle pollen. It’s is already cuddling Nightwing and… yep, yeah, now it has Red Hood. Don’t shoot it, Hood! It’s friendly!”
“It’s a fucking menace!”
“A bird?” Robin’s voice piped up.
“Don’t get too excited, baby bat, eldritch bird. It’s the size of an SUV and has too many arms. And eyes. Sorta eyes? And yep, there goes Hood, absorbed by the fluff. Oh great, it’s looking at me now.”
“Avoid the entity, Red Robin,” Batman said across the comms, tone clipped and worried.
“Sorta hard to do, big B. It has a lot of legs right now and all eyes on me. There so many eyes.”
“Avoid the entity!” Batman barked again.
Yeah, like that was going to go well.
-
“Father! Make this creature unhand me at once!” Robin shouted.
“Calm the fuck down, it’s not hurting us,” Red Hood grumbled. “Not that it’s letting us go…”
“Actually pretty comfortable,” Red Robin said in a voice tinged with the edges of sleep. Bruce couldn’t even see a part of Red Robin in the mess of feathers.
Bruce just sighed and pinched his nose. “Boys.”
“Did you just ‘boys’ us?” Nightwing asked, though he sounded like he was enjoying the whole circumstance.
“Yes. Black Bat isn’t involved in this at all,” Bruce said. “So, boys.”
Black Bat’s soft laugh over the line was mostly drowned out by the warble that the bird entity made. Bruce absently started comparing the creature to the types of birds that roosted in Gotham as the surprisingly long neck unfolded and reached out towards him.
He regarded the bird entity steadily.
It warbled again, tilted its head, and then started preening the ears of the cowl.
Bruce sighed heavily.
“Likes you.” Cass’ lyrical words came over the line. Bruce knew that tone. She was taking pictures for blackmail.
(And everyone said girls were easier.)
“I really don’t think it’s going to let us go, B. It might not even be able to with the cuddle pollen,” Nightwing said. Bruce could see the blue tips of the boots now but nothing else.
Bruce hummed. “Gotham doesn’t have the facilities to humanely keep such a creature.”
Robin hit the ground in a crouch and started forward. “Father—”
The bird entity reached out again for Robin with one of its too many limbs. Robin parried with his sheathed blade. The coo that the entity made in response was heart wrenching. Almost instantly Robin deflated at the sound.
He crossed his arms and looked away with a huff. “Fine.”
With a much happier sound, Robin was grabbed carefully around the waist and placed on the bird entity’s back, right behind its next.
“Get off,” Red Robin grumbled from wherever he was in the mass of plumage. Some shifting along the back feathers followed the sleepy words. Then a yawn. “The Cave is the only choice.”
“You can’t be serious,” Red Hood said.
(Bruce thought Red Hood might be clasped firmly under a wing.)
Red Robin yawned again. “Large, secure, safe for us…”
“Yeah, and how the fuck do we get this thing to the Cave?” Red Hood snapped back.
After a considering silence, Black Bat pipped up with that same mischievous lilt. “Idea.”
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olailamajnoon · 3 months ago
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The Batmobile is stuck in traffic.
Dick: what the hell. I remember when we used to zoom past these babies. Now we're moving at three miles an hour?!!
Bruce: get used to it.
The Batmobile inches forward amid traffic lights and horns.
Tim: it's due to the population explosion and the abandoned construction projects. I wrote a paper on — AAAEEEE!!
Dick and Bruce immediately turn in alarm to the back seat, where Damian and Jason have pinned Tim between them and are poking him with pencils.
Bruce: Damian! Stop stabbing Tim with a pencil.
Damian: Father, tell Drake to return my sandwiches.
Tim: I can't return them you moron, I ate them and they were great. Just to let you know.
Damian: They were truffle and foie gras sandwiches from my private stash!
Tim: And they were delicious. Every bite. Even the crusts...AAAAEEEE!!
Bruce, turning around: Enough, Damian! Jason, you're not being a good role model for your brother.
Jason: you always tell me to lead by example. *pokes Tim again*
Tim: save me Bruce. *sniffles*
Meanwhile people are taking videos of the Batmobile, leaning out of their car windows and doors, holding up their phones. Stephanie flips them off while Dick waves.
Stephanie: What is it with some people.
Jason: They're peasants. Weak-minded leftovers of evolution, clinging to the illusion of safety in their tin cans on wheels. Prey. Otherwise called "civilians".
They all turn to look at him.
Jason: what? They're flimsy, soft creatures. I am their nightmare.
Dick: You’re stuck in traffic, Jay.
They moved ahead a little bit, then stopped again. A random driver decided he would have some fun.
Hey, Bat-dorks! Use your grappling hooks or something!
Stephanie: That's it. I’m giving him the bird for all of us.
Damian: Father I do not believe the word "dork" is a complimentary term in this context. He deserves to be taught a lesson.
Jason: Let's grapple his bumper.
Bruce: No.
Dick: you know what, I miss the days of the Bat-packs. It's what I call—
Tim, Damian, Stephanie and Jason, chorus: The Bat-jetpack. We know.
Dick: I wonder what happened to them.
Tim: They just disappeared one day, didn't they? From the cave?
Bruce: Things don't just disappear. Alfred happens to them.
Stephanie: *wipes sweat off her forehead* I'd kill Damian for a jetpack right about now.
Damian: I'd kill you for free.
Bruce: No one's killing anyone. I just got these seats re-upholstered.
Tim: *grabs pencil in his hand like a weapon, brandishing it at Damian* I'll pay for my damages.
Bruce: Is this what my kids are like all the time?
Dick: *pats Bruce on the shoulder awkwardly* The traffic has made them feral, Bruce.
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witherby · 1 month ago
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Sooooooo excited for a SickBed Part 2 for Mouse!!!! also i’m literally obsessed with your writing - i check for updates on any of ur series like all the time!! 💞💞
That's so sweet to hear! Have something considerably less sweet! Chef's been craving some serious angst for days 😈
The Littlest Wayne: Sick Bed, part 2
Part one is Here!
Masterlist is Here!
⚠️ Content warning: Young sick child, descriptions of a seizure, descriptions of a hospital environment ⚠️
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You're transported to the hospital after receiving several doses of anti-seizure medication for monitoring and tests. Unless he'd wanted to risk giving away their secret identities, Bruce has to act like he doesn't have access to an entire medical bay in the cave under his house, and lets them take you. Hal gets in the back of the ambulance and Bruce remains behind with his sons, shuffling tiredly into the kitchen and looking like the world is on his shoulders. It's rare that he wears his exhaustion so brazenly.
"They're stable," he announces to the room. Several pairs of shoulders un-tense, and Alfred offers him a mug of hot chocolate. His fingers curl around the handle, but he settles for cradling it while staring down into the liquid. "You can all go back to bed."
"Fuck off," Jason says, "you think any of us can go back to sleep after that?"
"Language," Alfred gently chides. "Master Bruce is right. There is little else we can do for the evening. Our young Flittermouse is in good hands, and Master Harold will alert us to any significant changes, if there are any."
"And Dick," Tim says. He's drained his cup. Bruce gives Tim his, and he takes it to keep his hands busy. "He texted me back. He's gonna meet Hal at Gotham Central."
"Thank you for telling him," Bruce says. He turns to Damian, who hasn't looked away from his own cup. "Damian? How are you fairing?"
"Fine," he says too quickly. He grimaces and tries again. "I am just fine. Merely surprised the illness turned this bad."
Surprised is the understatement of the century. You're alive, you're in good hands, but he can't get the image of you foaming out the mouth and jerking uncontrollably out of his mind. He can't stop hearing you choking and gasping for oxygen. He can't stop thinking about how you might be dead right now if he hadn't listened to his gut and checked on you.
You might be dead right now if he hadn't checked on you. Surrounded by a family of vigilantes who had been none the wiser.
"I want to go to the hospital," he says suddenly. "I know you won't permit me to drive, so someone else needs to take me there. Now, preferably."
Bruce rests a hand on Damian's shoulder. "You did your part, son. You got help and they're gonna be okay. You don't have to —"
"I'm sorry," Damian says, "I don't know why I phrased it like a request. I need to get to the hospital, so I can either be driven there or find my own way."
There's silence for a minute. Damian sits still while wordless conversation is exchanged with everyone else at the table. For a brief moment, he feels like the baby of the family again.
He almost would have reclaimed that title if he hadn't found you —
A hairline crack appears in his mug. He stands from his seat and Bruce's grip on his shoulder briefly gets tighter.
"I'll take you," Bruce says. "Pack a Go Bag and meet me in the driveway in ten minutes."
"I'll be there in four," Damian replies, heading off. He fetches a change of clothes, his sketchbook, a phone charger, and swings by your room to grab the plush bat you sleep with in your bed.
--
Dick is sitting in a stiff plastic chair in the emergency room lobby, dressed in a thick hoodie, sweats, and a baseball cap to avoid getting any excessive attention at three in the morning. He won't stop chewing on his thumbnail when Damian walks in and kicks his leg.
"Report," he demands.
"Hello to you, too, baby bird," Dick mumbles. He tips his head up just enough to be able to make eye contact under the lip of his hat.
"I'm growing very tired of repeating myself in this family," Damian hisses. Dick sits up fully at that and sighs.
"They stopped seizing," he explains. "Haven't woken up yet, so they're in an observation room getting some blood drawn and being prepped for an MRI. Only one family member's allowed back at a time, so Hal is with them."
"Tell him to switch me places," Damian demands. "I don't have his number."
"You're gonna put it in your contacts after this," Dick says. A statement, not a question. Damian nods solemnly. "Good. I'll text him."
Damian sinks into the chair beside Dick and sets his bag on the ground, digging out his cellphone. He takes a peek at the group chat he's in with his brothers, scrolling through more recent messages talking about your upcoming birthday, and whether or not you're turning old enough to get a cellphone of your own. Bruce insists a seven-year-old will not need one, but everyone has been collaborating on a PowerPoint presentation to show Bruce all the points in favor of it.
All of Dick's points have just been "I can ask for selfies any time," and all of Jason's have just been "I'll finally have a reason to use my own if I can call Mousey whenever I want," so it's largely been Damian and Tim coming up with points that might actually sway Bruce.
He scrolls further back in the chat history in lieu of anything else to do, stopping to look at any pictures each brother has exchanged. A new book series Jason took interest in. An article about high tension wires Tim shared. Lots and lots of selfies from Dick. God, his eldest brother's picture should be in the dictionary next to Vanity. An article featuring Dick on the cover of Vanity Fair.
He's about to close out of the chat when he spots a picture Jason sent about two weeks ago of you. You're outside in the Manor gardens and clearly asleep in a patch of sunflowers, likely having worn yourself out playing. The sky in the background is clear for once, and the sun is just starting to set, which means the flowers are starting to turn to the next brightest source of light.
They're all facing you.
The framing is impeccable. It's a beautifully-captured, candid moment, likely taken seconds before Jason descended and woke you up with a surprise tickle ambush, as he tends to do when he finds any sibling napping somewhere, the bastard.
Damian makes it his lock screen, then pockets his phone and waits there in silence with his brother.
--
You're sleeping when Damian finally gets to see you again. Hal relented to switching places with him, knowing he would find his way to you regardless of his answer, so he didn't put up any fight.
He stands quietly in the observation room the entire two hours it takes to run all your scans, then follows the nurses as you're wheeled into a room and hooked up to some fluids and a heart rate monitor. They tell him that you're not likely to wake for at least a few more hours, but he's adamant that he's to stay at your side.
When he's alone, he snags your charts and looks them over, using his limited medical knowledge to glean as much as he can from the report. As far as he can tell your brain is fine, which is the biggest relief, but he's still going to grab a nurse and make them explain the parts he doesn't understand to him so that he can get the whole picture.
Damian digs your bat plushy out of his bag and gingerly tucks it under one of your arms. Your skin is pale and clammy when he makes contact with it, and he scowls.
"If you get any worse, I'll be livid," he tells your unconscious body. "Stop scaring your family. It's unbecoming of a Wayne."
You, understandably, don't respond. Damian watches your chest move smoothly up and down, watches the monitor display your heart rate, but he still keeps a hand around your wrist to track himself. The tangible proof of life helps settle the deep anxiety in his chest.
"I mean it," he mutters, "if you develop some kind of complication, or seize again, or d —"
He grits his teeth and shoves away the surge of panic that threatens to overwhelm him. Breathes slowly and deeply. Moves his hand from your wrist to lace your fingers together with his, squeezing tightly.
"The thought should never have crossed my mind. You simply have to get better," he says, factual. "You don't have a choice, even if I have to give up my mantle to...hnn."
Damian falls silent as he looks at you. An idea forms in his mind, blooming quickly. Roots take shape and travel down his spine, until they find a home in his chest and curl around his heart. He's hit with a wave of certainty he's never felt before in his life.
He messages the group chat with his brothers, sending a singular text, then digs out his sketchbook and a pen with one hand while he continues to hold onto yours.
Damian to All: I want to go to medical school.
--
You awaken with a massive headache. It's bright and hot and you're terribly dizzy. You're confused, knowing you went to sleep last night in your large, dark bedroom, with silky sheets and your stuffy, but now you're lying in a tiny cot with one scratchy sheet and being blinded by the overhead light.
"Daddy," you try to call out, but your throat is hoarse and you start coughing. It feels like you've swallowed a box of knives. Something squeezes your hand and you feel a palm against your forehead. "D-...D..."
"You're safe. Breathe as slowly as you can. I'm going to sit the bed up."
The voice is familiar. You squint blearily in the light and can just barely make out your brother's face.
"D-Dami?" You croak, wheezing for breath.
"Yes, Flit, it's me," he says. Once you're more or less upright, he briefly leans across you. "Pardon the reach. I'm going to put a cup of water in your free hand. Drink it very slowly."
You fumble with the cup. Damian helps you hold it, and you take small sips. It doesn't soothe the stinging in your throat, but he looks so uncharacteristically worried for you that you just keep drinking the water until it's empty.
"How do you feel?" He asks.
"Bad," you mumble. "Where are we?"
"Gotham Central Hospital." Damian puts the empty cup aside and sits down in the chair next to your bed. He still hasn't let go of your hand. "Your illness took a bad turn, and you had a seizure last night. Doctors brought you here to make you better."
"Oh. Am I better now?"
"Not yet." Damian grabs the clipboard with your information on it and glances over it again. "We know that you have severe viral pneumonia, but it's not lobar or interstitial like I thought. I suspect your seizure isn't part of the original problem, just a manifestation...of...um."
Damian stops talking when he notices your confusion. You scrunch your nose and give him a helpless frown.
"I don't know what that means," you say softly. You look absolutely devastated. "Am I gonna die?"
Damian's heart leaps into his throat. He squeezes your hand almost painfully tight and stands from his chair, leaning over you with wide eyes. The green in his irises almost seem to flash, like Jason's when he's extremely angry.
"No," he says fiercely, saying your name with a shakiness you've never heard before. "You will not die. I won't let it come to that."
You stare back at him, sniffling.
"Promise?"
"I promise. I swear it."
You relax a little. "Okay. I trust you, Dami."
Your brother's face does a strange twist. It looks like his eyes start to get shiny, but he leans down and rests his head against your shoulder before you can really find out. He smells like home, instead of the weird, chemically-clean scent of the hospital room, which is comforting.
His arms come around you in a gentle hug. You lift your hands and reciprocate as best as you can, limbs feeling like jelly. It's nice. Damian doesn't hug you very often, so you do your best to savor it. When he pulls away, his expression is carefully neutral and closed off again. He sits back down and resumes holding your hand.
"Father and Timothy are in the waiting room, if you'd like to see them," he says, checking his phone. His notifications have been flooded with questions from his brothers (and demands for pictures from Dick, for some reason. You're sick, not posing for a photoshoot). He brings up his dial pad, ready to call whomever you want.
"Yeah," you nod, desperate for comfort from more of your family. You don't like the bright hospital room. You hope having more people around will make it less eerie.
Damian rings Bruce without fanfare and tells him your room number, then hangs up again. He goes to stand, about to leave the room, but you tighten your grip on his hand before he can slip away.
"Stay?" You ask quietly.
He sits back down instantly, brows raised. You don't spend much time with Damian, considerably less than you do with your other brothers, but he seems taken aback by you seeming to enjoy his company just as much as the others'.
"Yes," he says, voice whisper-soft, "I'll stay with you."
You give him a tired smile. Then your ears start ringing and your vision whites out. The last thing you hear before losing consciousness is Damian's frantic cry of your name.
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The GOONION
Jason's henchmen pranking him: The goons have formed a union sir
Jason: a WHAT
Henchmen: A union
Jason: why??
Henchmen:
Henchmen: i think they're still figuring that part out
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vigil-antes · 7 months ago
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Do you like have any good comics recommendations or anything to do with the bat fam, I don't have many DC friends so idk where to start
hiii omg ive been WAITING for this. you didnt give me any kind of parameters for what kind of fics you want so im going to list some of those i like most. its going to be a long one so buckle up:
My DC Fic Best Pics:
Short & Sweet (Oneshots/Less than 10k words)
Send to All: Crack, the bats have a sex pollen release form
glucose guardian: Funny, Tim being the caped community's accidental sugar daddy
A Brief Interview: Sweet, Damian & Tim Ageswap
curiosity and the cat: Cute, Timbern Catlad AU
Dead Meme: Crack, Jason centric, Jason keeps referencing dead memes
Have I Told You About Minnie?: Sweet, Bruce&Steph
Multi Media Marketing Mistakes: Crack, Social Media AU
an inappropriate explosion: Funny, Superman calls Batman to reel in his unruly son (Red Hood)
though your eyes will need some time to adjust: so sweet GAH, Bruce&Steph
Girl what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament?: Funny, Timbern after the disaster with the chaos cult
Tim Drake: Bisexual Awakener Extraordinaire: Funny, YJ experiencing the mandated Robin-Induced sexuality crisis
Brotherhood: Tim&Damian, Damian Time travels right into Jason's attack on Titans Tower
Priceless: Crack, Nightwing&The Bats messing with Bane
User SuperRob: TImBerKon. Need I say more?
The Mystery of the Superboy Shirts: TimKon, Tim keeps stealing Kon's SB Shirts
Thicker Than Water: Funny, Batbros slice of life-ish
Big Bird, Commence Attack!: Crack, Jason's revenge plan involves dressing up as Big Bird
World’s Saddest Breakfast Club: Sweet, Batkids Bonding
red chrome: Funny, Tim's health is concerning enough to stop Jason from attacking him in Titans Tower
Hot Dog, French Fries: Tim&Damian, Damian gets dosed with truth serum
#SoftRobin: Funny. Damian-centric Social Media AU
Hurry Up Don't Take So Long: Sweet, DamiJon through the years
Paris vs Gotham: Crack, Social Media AU Ladybug crossover (no ships)
Can I tempt you?: TimKon, Light angst, Sweet
Bedtime Stories (15-50k Words)
Baby Birds and Bat Caves: SO funny, genuinely one of the best fics ive read, Tim-Centric, Meta(?)/Cryptid Tim, inspired by Welcome to Nightvale
Gotham Knockoff: Tim-Centric, Alley Kid Tim pretends to be the Drakes' kid to get closer to the Bats
In This or Any Other Universe: Nightwing ends up in the The Batman (2022) Universe
Dangerous and Noble Things: Kid Tim gets kidnapped by the League of Shadows. No one realizes until, four years later, the Bats notices something wrong
In this Town We Call Home: Kid Tim attracts Batman's attention to get adopted
With Violet Light: Jason finds a ring of power and becomes a Star Sapphire
Little Birds’ Wings: Jason&Other Batkids, Jason comes back from the League to a drastically different Gotham
the pact of our youth: Reverse Robins Au, TimBerKon after Tim dies (and comes back different)
Pretty Boys and Identity Problems: Sweet, TimKon, To get away from his crush on Robin, Superboy gets entangled with Gotham pretty boy Tim Drake
let's get mischievous: TimBern, during the chaos cult ritual, Bernard gets possessed by Dyonisus
It Wouldn't Be Make Believe (If You Believed In Me): DamiJon fake dating AU where they don't know each other and meet while Robin is investigating a case in Metropolis (they're uni aged btw)
I’m Pretty Sure Tim Steals Clothes: An Elaboration In The Form Of A Long Fic: Cute, TimKon, Tim keeps stealing Kon's SB shirts
Into the Deep Dark Night: Tim-centric, Tim&Jason, Tim dies as a kid and loses a bit of his humanity
Alcatraz, But On Hardmode: Sweet, Tim-Centric, A YJ mission goes wrong and Tim has to rely on Jason to get him and his team out.
His Head is Bloody, but Unbowed: Jason-centric AU where he never stole the batmobile tires, but ends up meeting the Bats anyways after he saves Robin
A Good Place: Very soft, Damian&Bruce, Damian time travels to Batman's first year of activity.
Fairy Godbrother: Sweet, The batboys time travel to each others' pasts and help their brothers when they were younger
best laid plans: Tim&Jason, Tim finds Jason after he crawls out of his grave, bt they get goth taken by the league
Mystery Man: Cute, BirdFlash, The bats aren't known to the JL, Different first meeting
One Eternal Round: Super original, Bruce&Robins, My Hero Academia crossover where Aizawa, Midoriya, Kirishima, Todoroki and Bakugo remember their past lives as Gotham vigilantes
A Meditation on Railroading: Tim-Centric, Tim's dad leaves him stranded away from Gotham with no way back. Jason finds him and brings him home
the ship of theseus: Jason-Centric, Percy Jackson crossover, Jason and Percy are secretly twins
Why They Shouldn't Have Social Media: Crack, Social media AU
Cracked Foundation:Soft, Jason&Damian, They get stuck under a collapsed building together
Monolith: Bruce&The Batfamily, The birds aren't known to the JL, The JL meeting each member of the Batfam for the first time
Loading and Aspect Ratio: SO GOOOOOOD, Batfamily, The bats use wing prothesis but everyone think they're metas
Three’s a Crowd (But I’m Here if You Are): Cute, Funny, TimBerKon
A Softer Gotham: Steph&Bruce, Steph-Centric, Steph time travels to a time before Batman, becoming Gotham's first vigilante
greatest of ease: Dick-Centric, POV Outsider, Dick Grayson as seen in the eyes of the people surrounding him
Yesterday's Voices: Bruce&Batkids, Bruce's memory of the past five years gets erased leaving behind a softer man, one who doesn't remember Jason's death
show me yesterday, for i can’t find today: Jason-Centric, Jason&The Batfam, Robin!Jason and Red Hood switch places
Eat Your Heart Out, Social Life (50k+ words)
Vultures, Squirrels, and Other Flying Menaces: So good, AU where instead of becoming Robin, Tim hires Deathstroke to kill Joker, leading to the assassin adopting him and the other Batkids.
I’m alone here, I think: TimKon, Witch Tim, Tim is erased from everyone's memories and leaves Gotham. Kon finds him anyways.
You, Me, and the Humanity in Between: Soft and sweet, Bruce&His kids, Non-Human Batkids
cards on the table: Tim-Centric, Tim&Batfam, Tim's parents fake their death and leave Tim behind. He uses his stalking skills to become a fortuneteller scammer. Against his will, he ends up befriending the Waynes
Roasted: Funny, Cute, Dick-Centric, Talon AU, Dick&Batfam, Recovered Talon Dick opens a coffee shop that ends up becoming Rogue-Vigilante neutral grounds
Code Bat: Batfam, The bats aren't known, they have an emergency code to only be used in emergency case when revealing affiliation is inevitable (idk how to explain but its good trust me)
Minimum Height Requirement: SOFT, Bruce&His kids, Batfam, Batman doesn't let his kids become vigilantes before they turn eighteen
Running Headlong into My Arms: Soft, No Capes AU, even without Batman, Bruce finds his family
Liminal Space: Tim-Centric, Tim&Bruce, Tim&Batfam, Tim ends up in a softer and kinder version of his world
Robins and Other Flightless Birds: Bruce-Centric, Bruce&His kids, A Batman without kids is visited by another version of himself. He finds tha he, too, wants kids.
Laughter Lines: JayRoy, Soft, Jason helps raise Lian, before and after his death
Stars of the Forgotten: Bruce-Centric, Meta!Batkids, Bruce&His kids, on the search for a missing Barbara Gordon, Batman stumbles upon five metahuman kids in need of a home
Latchkey: Sweet, Tim-Centric, Robin!Jason, BatWatch!Tim, The Waynes get concerned with their lonely neighbor, Tim Drake
Ain't No Compass, Ain't No Map: Funny, Tim&Jason, Borderline abandoned Tim Drake gets taken in by Crime Lord Red Hood. CPS tries investigating, with little results
And that's it for today. If you're still here, thank you so much and seriously, some of these are so good, so read them, trust me!
Sorry i took so long to get back to you, i had to organize the mess in my AO3 bookmarks and compiling this took me ages.
Let me know what you all think, and if you ever want more!!!! (Yes i have more. It's a problem)
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ravenlilyrose · 8 months ago
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Slightly cryptid Batman idea:
(Not familiar enough with costume evolutions to know how canonical this is, but if DC can mess with the timeline as much as they did with the New52, I can tweak costumes.)
Anyway, Batman here is still human (mostly) but Gotham got to him and now he’s a little… feral? Inhuman? Weird?
Bruce was a rich only child so he’s always been a little possessive, but he was also raised by Alfred, so he doesn’t show it a whole lot and it’s not very bad.
Until Gotham gets to him.
And with most things he’s the same as he’s ever been. But with his Robins? His birds? His babies? That man is now some kind of weird mix of dragon and cat and bear.
They are his and he loves them so so so so so so much, even if he would never use those words. Something deep inside him kinda wants to just gather them all into his cave and never let them out of his sight, but he knows they’d all hate that and he values their agency, so he doesn’t do that.
Instead, he makes sure that everyone knows they’re his.
As many of them as he can convince have a huge bat emblem across their chests. Robin has little bats at the hem of his cape and at his collar. All of their boots have little bat symbols on the sides. Their dominos get more and more overtly bat themed.
Every time he sees one of them with his symbol on them, something in his chest purrs. And if their wearing it in their civilian clothes? That’s even better. (Tim has a huge oversized Batman hoodie that Jason will deny until he’s blue in the face was originally his; Cass has a few sets of bat hair clips; Dick has a pair of yoga pants that are covered in garishly colored bat symbols)
He won’t trap them, he won’t control them, but he’ll mark them as his until they stop him, which none of them seem inclined to do. (A couple of them find it a little weird, but this is so much better than anything else he could be doing that they just go with it. Those whose slightly-feral-cryptid tendencies align most with Bruce’s find that it makes them feel incredibly loved.)
And that’s the story of how the bat kids all ended up covered in bats. And how the main result of Bruce becoming vaguely-a-cryptid is that his kids are covered in bats.
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snakeredbirdbatkatana · 10 months ago
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So we all are aware Jason pulls the whole you replaced me or your a pretender to Tim.
Now in the comics Dick really loves Tim like that is his little brother he would protect him with everything he's got.
I want maybe the bats are getting along Jason's over for family dinner, to steal something I don't know he's there.
Now Jason's in the cave sees Tim and decides to be a ass.
"Oh how's it going Replacement enjoying my colors"
Dick who was doing something on the other side overhears this, now Nightwing is famous for his temper we are aware but he also is calculating knows where to hit it where it hurts.
He walks over sees his baby bird's sad little face now Dick remembers that night at the circus he had begged Mama if they could adopt little Timmy he had already claimed the little bird.
And as a big brother it is is job to knock annoying little siblings off their high horse.
"Hey Timmy looking good in our colors, shit replacement, oh I mean Jason didn't see you there"
The look on Jason face is unforgettable.
"I find it really funny the amount of bitching you do Jay-Bird considering if I had my way Tim here would have been a Grayson but alas. Then again never too late for an adoption right?"
If looks could kill Jason would be back in his coffin.
Tim though looks estatic and maybe Dick will feel guilty later but Jason tried to kill his baby.
"It's just funny you know everyone complaining about being Robin the name my mother gave me. It's almost like I can say who wears it and I think the little brother I hugged the night my parents died might get first dibs then again what would I know?"
I want Dick to be Petty as fuck. Now he loves Jason to but in the grand sceme of things the order of importance is.
Damian and Tim
The Titans/Oracle
Duke and Cass
Jason( if he hasn't tried to murder his babies)
Other assorted people
Everyone else in the world
Bruce (and Jason if he has tried to kill the babies)
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rheitais · 2 months ago
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Dc x Dp Fallen Moons Pt. 1.5
Was thinking of interactions for this post. So here we go, unhinged thoughts at 1 am on a weekday while I procrastinate. Thank you @kizzer55555 for the parental figure. Clayface is their dad and i feel that it fits for the whole uncanny twins.
Damian: Father, Richard, meet my classmates Daniel and Dante Nightingale. They were assigned to my group project with Jonathan.
Danny and Dan: Nice to meet you, Mr.Wayne. *while deadpanning*
Dick and Bruce: Reeling internally ever so aggressively.
_____________________________
Danny: Dad we met Bruce Wayne today.
Karlo: Is that so? Did you have fun?
Dante: Eh it was kinda boring. I think the only interesting part was his cave but even then he really is just a fruitloop.
Karlo: Of course- Wait what? Did you say cave????
_____________________________
Batman, still in the cave: So it seems you were right Nightwing. Not only are their records fake but even their parent identity is fake and with footage from Oracle, it is believed their possible guardian is Clayface.
Nightwing, patroing: Do you think they are in danger? I mean with how they act and stuff. They might even be metas from what robin put in their file.
Red hood: Are you talking about casper and jade?
Robin: Red hood, I believe that your very ridiculous skills for names need to be reworked. Neither of them are jade.
Red hood: Whatever you say baby bird, as for you Blue and B, those kids couldn't be anymore safe. Honestly.
Batman: What do you know?
Red hood: I don't know, the fact that I'm watching Clayface throw down with some vampire dude in an alley, like a full on cat fight. On top of that, he is winning. Ooh that was right in the ribs, yeah I don't think the vampire dude is going to get away from trying to kidnap his kids and the squirts are cheering him on too.
_____________________________
Karlo, standing over Vald's slightly but bloody deformed body: Come here to help or try taking them too?
Red hood: Honestly, I'll take care of the guy. Just go home it's late as hell and definitely pass their bedtime.
Karlo: Tell your clan they don't have any business looking into me or my family. Also this "thing" is a warning. Try taking them from and every last one of you will feel this tenfold.
Red Robin in coms: Parenthood is one hell of a drug.
Batman, pretty much understanding that feeling from after Jason's death: This case is closed.
_____________________________
3 am and at Bat Burger:
Karlo: Jesus Christ, kids breathe, the food isn't going anywhere.
Dante: But it will start fighting back if we take too long.
Karlo: Food shouldn't be fighting you?
Danny: Home food did, always.
Karlo proceeds to go through the 5 stages of grief.
__________________________________
Harley: K, baby where did you find these munchkins?!
Ivy: Yes because they are definitely not yours.
Selina: Oh don't let you-know-who hear that, he would adopt these kittens in a heartbeat.
Danny: NO, WE ARE STAYING WITH DAD. No more adoption. It started and ended with Dad.
Dante: Dad already swore he would kill both Bruce and Batman if they tried taking us anyway.
Karlo, already done with life and exhausted on the couch: They can try and fail miserably.
_____________________________
[ Masterpost ]
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automaticsoulharmony · 3 months ago
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Tim Joins The Batfam Early
Leave any fics you can think of in the replies! Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments on the fics you read <33
Latchkey by goldkirk
How to Accidently Acquire a Brother by 172
Baby Birds and Bat Caves by IZZYMRDB
Heart of Glass, Mind of Stone by LylaRivers
Rooftop shenanigans by yoursleepdeprivedauthor
Through the Frosted Lens by Starrygraves
My School’s Local Mafia Boss by quotidian_void
5 Times Tim Spends the Night at Wayne Manor + 1 Time He Comes Home by motleyfam
Kindred by RubyRedRose25
Boom, Boom, Pow! By LilaVaporizer9000
Brother Wanted by Vamillepudding
The Lone Ranger Never Had to Deal with Bruce Wayne by theskeptileptic
Free Child (Adoption Not Included) by raven_of_hydecastle
Rooftop shenanigans by yoursleepdeprivedauthour
Guide to Tim Fics
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fryingpan1234567 · 5 months ago
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so what if the Bats were Spiders instead?
in a different universe, Bruce Wayne grew up with arachnophobia instead of chiroptophobia. he found secret experiments in a lab beneath their family estate, and it didn’t take him long to pick up the family business.
neurotoxin experiments. spiders.
in a different universe, Bruce Wayne became Spider-Man.
in a different universe, Dick Grayson didn’t need to be bitten by a spider to pick up the Spider-Man mantle. he grew up knowing how to do all the acrobatics and combat anyways— all B had to do was give him web shooters and a suit. but there couldn’t be two Spider-Man’s. so he became Nightwing. but with a blue spider on his chest instead of a bird!
Nightwing’s webs come from his escrima sticks. they’re packing some serious voltage, so sometimes in a pinch he’ll use them instead of his police-issued taser. his favorite part about the whole spider thing is that he can fully just… throw himself off of buildings. and not die. he’s an adrenaline junkie, what can he say?
in a different universe, Jason Todd did everything the same. tried to steal the wheels off the vehicle of the most famous vigilante in Gotham. B picked him up and let him choose the spider and gave him the power to do good.
Robin “giving him magic” didn’t stop the Green Goblin from caving in his skull. although spiders you thought you’d killed do have a way of disappearing.
and returning. in a different universe, the Red Hood took the black widow as his mascot and nobody could do anything in Gotham City without him knowing about it. he single-handedly put down all the arms dealers in the city.
in a different universe, Tim Drake made his own spider. he’d been a fan of Thomas and Bruce Wayne’s work for his whole life, or at least since he learned how to read— and he figured he could get Spider-Man’s attention if he was able to replicate the project as young as he did.
oh, he got Spidey’s attention all right. befriending and adopting an alien symbiote will do that. player 4 has joined the game.
in a different universe, Venom is co-piloted by Tim, who really does like aliens. B thinks it’s a tiny bit weird, but while Tim is tiny his alien companion is very much not. it’s extra armor.
Tim works at the Daily Bugle. nobody knows how exactly he gets the quality kind of photos he does of Gotham’s Spider-family situation, but who’s complaining? he’s just really good at his job.
in a different universe, Cassandra Cain was bitten by a spider before she even met Bruce Wayne. her mother had trained her for combat for her whole life. she couldn’t prepare her for superpowers.
B was happy to help. in a different universe, rather than Cass becoming Blackbat, she took on the alias Black Widow. watch your back for her, though. she’s got the same deadly instinct in every universe.
in a different universe, Stephanie Brown became the first Spider-Woman. of course, she wasn’t the only one, but there’s something about being the original, isn’t there?
she knows she’s funny. she thinks it’s part of the job; it feels right. she’s the closest to the average canon Spider-Man. she could’ve been recruited to the Society at any point in time. and there’s something about that too.
in a different universe, Damian Wayne was born with superpowers. he’d inherited Bruce’s from birth. Talia was quick to hand him off once she realized her baby could crawl on walls and ceilings. the Spider Cave was getting a bit crowded, but what’s one more dangerous, unpredictable, biologically enhanced child? bring it on.
aside from Hood, Tarantula is the only Spider willing to kill a man on the field. yeah, as in. bird-eating tarantula. Robin. get it?
of course, in a different universe, he still had his katana. wouldn’t be Damian Wayne without it. his favorite thing is to swing down from a skyscraper with his webs and run through bad guys like kebabs. B says it’s immoral, but who can be mad about stabbing Doc Ock’s goons?
in another universe, Duke Thomas is the most famous member of the family. he’s the other closest to canon Spider-Man. he takes the day jobs, he talks to the press, he’s the least-hated at the Daily Bugle.
his webs glow. that makes night ops harder. so he sticks to the sunlight. people started calling him the Spider-Signal. which doesn’t make a lot of sense? but Duke is the kinda guy to just kinda shrug it off, because he’s not gonna take on the entire city’s press on his own.
Miguel O’Hara stayed the bleeding hell away from this universe. this group of bats spiders were too unpredictable to have in the Spider Society at all. there were no missions there, but constant surveillance. (until. you know. Miles Morales rocked up with a proposition to take down a tyrannical system with horrible judgement and a corrupted leader. and then Miguel couldn’t ignore the Wayne family anymore.)
how I love the multiverse. endless possibilities, amirite?
(please ask me to write more for this au. drabbles. more characters. PLEASE)
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redflagshipwriter · 7 months ago
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Nest Swap 10
masterpost
The guy did turn out to be Jason, but he wasn’t in a very good mood with Tim. He basically didn’t talk at all. That was fair. Tim had hit him. He hung back and tried to not be annoying as Jason contacted the police, found the hostage, and talked to her in a low voice. When they heard sirens Jason grabbed Tim and took him out the door and onto his motorcycle. They went like, really fast.
The motorcycle was cool, but where it stopped was even better. Tim lifted his arms up obligingly so that Jason could pick him up by his armpits and set him down. Tim took a single step away before Jason shot his hand out lightning-fast and grabbed at Tim’s hand. He took his helmet off with one hand and dropped it onto a handle.
“Let’s stay together, Baby Bird.” Jason sounded exhausted. Tim was a little distracted from that, even though he really should have been more considerate of the adults in the area.
This was even cooler than his hideout. It was kinda gothic and damp and smelled a little funny. An apartment building couldn’t really compete with that.
“Wow,” Tim enthused. He tried to walk away to explore but Jason tugged him back by his hand. “I love it here. Can I live here?” He pointed up at the craggy ceiling, which really just looked like a natural cave with stalactites and all. “Maybe with the bats.” His tone tilted up into an optimistic question. The bats were neat. Were they local brown bats? That was fine, but he thought black bats would really fit Batman’s aesthetic more.
Jason let out a big sigh. “It’s not up to me,” he dodged the question. “Wanna press a button on the Bat computer?”
“Absolutely yes I do.” Tim chirped. Jason started towing him along again, uncaring or maybe even not noticing that Tim was craning in every direction to see the amazing sights. “Why’s it called a Bat Computer? Is it shaped like a bat? Hey, is Big Bird real?” he asked. “I’ve been concerned about that. I want to believe that he’s not real. But if he is, is he a predator? You have to tell me.”
“Big Bird is real and he is an omnivore,” Jason muttered. “Come on, why are you so wiggly?”
“An omnivore?” Tim echoed. He held Jason’s hand a little tighter. “What- does he eat kids? Because I think it’s highly suspicious that he spends all his time with little kids. Also, the kids change every season, and no one ever explains where they went.”
Jason stopped walking and stared at him directly as Tim outlined his troubling theory.
Tim waited.
“Yes,” Jason said. “That’s it exactly. Big Bird eats little boys. So stay close to me, okay?”
Tim clung to Jason’s whole arm in response. “Okay,” he said, as casually as he could manage. Internally he was screaming. Why would Batman hang out with Big Bird?
He felt… a little betrayed about it, actually. Batman didn’t kill people. He punched a lot of people like Dr. Ivy and Dr. Crane, but that wasn’t like eating kids!
‘How can they cooperate with Big Bird when Jason is investigating the sausage guy for doing the same thing?’ Tim thought, indignant. It was hypocritical. It was intolerable. It was a total abdication of his moral responsibility.
He was going to confront Batman about it. 
He started internally preparing his arguments. He went quiet enough that Jason got suspicious about it. Tim was sorry that he couldn’t spend more time comforting Jason, but he was busy.
“Hey, you wanted to use the computer, right?” Jason shook him lightly.
Tim shrugged and hunched over a little. 
“...It’s not that serious, kiddo,” Jason said, sounding kinda unsure. He was an awkward guy.
“I’m fine,” Tim said shortly. He just wanted Jason to let him think in peace. 
The older boy sighed and started hitting buttons. He picked up something. “Hey, Bats,” he drawled.
The sound of a horn honking suddenly rang out. 
“Little Wing?” said one of the people who had tried to break into Tim’s hideout. He buried his face in Jason’s side. Jason absently put a hand on his ribs and sort of patted. “Why are you in- you’re hailing from the Batcave?”
‘That was one of Batman’s associates? Why was Batman allowing a break in of my house?’ Tim felt his heart rate start to go up. Was he in trouble? The lady had said he was in trouble, but- but Oracle made him feel safe. He pressed himself a little closer into Jason and clung to his weird jacket.
“Red Hood.” 
Batman’s voice didn’t make Tim feel as safe as it usually did. This future or universe was weird and he didn’t like it. 
“Report,” Batman said, when no one responded to what he said. 
Jason’s torso moved. Tim extracted his face just enough to see that Jason had flipped off the computer. “You are so bad at bird keeping,” Jason drawled. “All of you. Absolutely horrendous. There’s a situation, and there’s been a situation for days.” He sounded extremely cranky about it. He sounded like customs had taken his bags from him and cancelled his connecting flight and left him stranded in a Peruvian airport overnight with only his wits, a neck pillow, and a few thousand dollars.
“I suspected,” said a… A child’s voice. Tim felt his brow crinkle. He looked up. That was a young voice. Like, irresponsibly young. What was Batman doing? “As I told you, Red Robin has been eaten by the lion that escaped from the Denver zoo. If I had only been allowed to find and rehabilitate it, we could have avoided-”
“Right bird, wrong problem,” Jason cut him off. That was a shame. Tim wanted to know more about the lion situation. “Get your big ass back here and parent, motherfucker.”
Tim giggled.
“What-” - “”Did you just-” - “Is that a-”
Jason turned off the computer and then unplugged it. “Assholes,” he said to no one, very smugly. “That’ll put a bee in their…” His voice trailed off. He was looking down at Tim.
“Where will it put a bee?” Tim asked, eyes as large as he could make them. He was just messing with Jason now. He knew that expression. It was ‘bonnet’. Like, an old lady hat. What he didn’t know was why Jason wanted to censor that.
“...In Big Bird’s beak,” Jason said weakly.
Tim considered this outright weird deflection. “A suspicious amount of things seem to connect to Big Bird.” He said it cautiously, trying to feel out Jason’s position on this.
“Yeah, but don’t worry about it,” Jason said vaguely. Tim gave him a disgusted expression and Jason had the audacity to laugh.
Of course he was worried about it. 
Something beeped.
“Hey Barbie,” Jason said to absolutely no one. He moved his legs further apart and sort of…posed.
Tim looked around. He didn’t see anyone.
‘Barbie as in Barbara Gordon??’ He looked a little harder for the person Jason had greeted. That was Batgirl. Batgirl was a known quantity.
“I think I know,” said Oracle. “Because I am the all-knowing eye and all of that.”
Jason made a rude sound. “If you knew, you would have locked the baby in a genius-proof jail so that he didn’t go try and feed himself to the Sausage Man.”
“He- what?” Oracle’s voice went flat. “I knew that he was de-aged, he didn’t want Dick to bother him and baby him while he looks like this. He did not go try to do field work while he looks 6 years old.” Her tone was extremely unimpressed.
“No, no,” Jason said. He made a theatrical hand gesture. It occurred to Tim that he was enjoying himself. “That’s definitely not what he did. He took his legitimately 9 year old body with accompanying 9 year old brain off to investigate a cannibal.”
“Tim.” Oracle sounded like she was in pain. “Do you know who I am?”
“From context, I think that you’re Batgirl,” Tim admitted shyly. He wished that Jason hadn’t stepped away. He had felt weirdly secure with his hands in Jason’s pockets. He did the same thing to his Dad and it always made him feel-
‘Oh no, that doesn’t bode well for my marriage,’ Tim realized. ‘I- I can’t be comparing him to my Dad.’ He put his hands in his own pockets, like the mature little man he was.
There was a very long silence that Tim kind of noticed while he was busy fretting. He realized it was probably his fault and he should fix it.
“Big fan,” Tim added meekly. It was true.
Oracle said a bad word.
“Comm is on speaker,” Jason said cheerfully. “Little guy is hearing you loud and clear, with his 9 year old ears..”
She repeated the bad word, louder this time. “I already messaged Zatanna, but I’m going to go set off the fire alarm in her hotel right now so she sees it.”
“You do that,” Jason agreed. He had a nice smile, even though he was clearly enjoying other people feeling flustered. Tim suddenly remembered that he kind of genuinely wanted to date Jason and felt his face turn red.
After they finished talking to Batgirl Oracle, Jason and Tim spent some time looking at Batman’s crime scene photography. 
“What do you think happened here?” Jason said, shifting in the chair. 
“I think this is the aftermath of human trafficking,” Tim decided.
Jason clicked to the next photo. “What’s this?”
Tim squinted at it. In the distance, an engine came into earshot and approached rapidly. Tim hummed and kicked his heels. “I think that this is a much better photo,” he said. He distantly recognized that there were two separate engines. “That’s my first impression. Look at the composition.” Tim frowned. “Hey, stop laughing! The lighting is-”
A door opened and then slammed shut.
“Big Bird’s home,” Jason said gleefully. He stood up and grabbed Tim under the armpits. He turned Tim around and then hoisted him in the air. He dangled. It was an undignified experience that he didn’t have the ability to process it immediately.
For a single disorienting moment, Tim tracked the glint of light off the Batmobile and off a motorcycle. A guy was on the motorcycle. The door was opening on the passenger side of the Batmobile. That had to be Big Bird. Tim was dangling in the air helpless, presented for Big Bird’s approval.
‘He’s feeding me to Big Bird,’ Tim realized. 
He screamed. He kicked wildly midair and his heels connected with Jason’s chest.
“What the f-”
“He’s little!” said the man who tried to break into Tim’s hideout. He seemed delighted by this turn of events. What, was Tim smaller than the usual bird chow?
He screamed again, high and sharp. Tim contorted to kick Jason in the face. Jason let him go by accident and then Tim was falling to the ground shoulder-first, he wasn’t going to be able to run away-
The scary apartment intruder caught him. “Tim?” He was baffled. “What’s wrong-”
Tim screamed again and tried to squirm away. He couldn’t escape. 
“Fuck,” Jason said, voice muffled through his elbow. “Fuck!” There was blood coming from his nose.
“This is typical,” said the child from earlier. Tim tried to see the speaker.
A Robin was standing there, arms crossed and unimpressed. 
Oh.
That was who got out of the passenger door. Tim calmed down and squirmed so that he could see Robin better. “What were you saying about a lion?” he asked. “Do you have a good place to keep one? Where would you put it? Have you had a lion before?”
“I have had tigers,” said Robin. “So you agree that it would be better-”
“Robin, no,” interrupted Batman. He was- Okay, Tim already knew that he was big. But he was truly huge up close.
The bad guy relaxed his grip. “Are you gonna break my nose if I let you go?” he asked Tim. He kind of laughed as he said it. 
Tim paused. He felt a little bad. “As long as there’s not really Big Bird here,” he reluctantly promised.
“...What?” said the bad man.
Jason started laughing hysterically. “That’s why-” He made a horrible groan and kind of lilted forward. “Fuck…”
The bad man let Tim go. Tim scrambled away and gave him a cautious head nod. Maybe he wasn’t that bad, even though he was an intruder.
“Why did you try to break into my hideout?” he asked. He did his level best to look intimidating. They didn’t know he was that scared. He’d managed to hurt Jason, after all, and Jason was even bigger than this guy.
Robin let out an irritated fricative. “Everyone here is a fool.” His announcement was so confident that Tim looked to him for elaboration. “Todd was bullying you by referring to Richard as ‘Big Bird.’ It is an asinine nickname. As I have said before, it only introduces unnecessary confusion and distress.” He was… kind of unpleasantly smug, Tim decided. But he wasn’t wrong.
“You’re not wrong,” Tim said. It was good manners to repeat your nice thoughts out loud. “So…” his voice trailed off and got small as he realized just how silly he looked. He’d had a total false alarm. “There’s no… the yellow Big Bird that eats children isn’t here?” His voice got really small by the end.
There was a moment of perfect silence.
“You told him that I eat children?” Richard- oh!!! Robin!!! That was the real Robin!!!!- kind of shouted at Jason. He was really mad. Wow! Tim beamed at him, fear forgotten. Holy cow, Robin!! Well, big Robin- oh, the nickname made more sense now!
Jason flipped Richard off.  He sort of snarled. “Serves you right, you walking sphincter-”
“Boys, please.” Batman took off his cowl. It was Bruceman Waynebat alright, but–
“You’re really old,” Tim said, too surprised to keep that inside thought where it belonged.
Batman looked exhausted.
“That is correct,” Robin agreed. “Father, I will escort Timothy-”
“No!” said all three of the adults at the same time.
That… That made Tim feel a little suspicious of Robin. He edged away the slightest bit.
Robin crossed his arms again. “Egregious,” he muttered to himself, and then turned on his heel with a flutter of his cape. He left the room without further comment.
Tim felt a little bad. “Bye!” he called. Robin did not slow down or respond at all. Tim wilted a little bit. It kind of felt like nobody liked him here. 
“I’m sorry.” 
Everyone looked at him. “Why are you sorry?” asked Richard.
Oh. Tim shrunk back. He didn’t know what the right answer was. What did they want? “Because I hit Jason with Mrs. Henderson’s mace?” he guessed meekly.
“He sprayed you with mace?” Richard seemed delighted.
Tim shook his head wildly, sending hair flying. “No!” He was distressed. “That would be mean!”
“Stop helping,” Jason muttered, but it was too late to stop saying,
“She has a Gothic mace,” Tim reported. “It weighs about 2 kilograms and I think it was from Western Europe. I don’t know if she legally owns it. It may be a replica but now that I think about it, it could be real and that would be neat.”
Richard made a sound like air escaping a balloon.
“Shut up!” Jason said. Then he looked at Tim. “Mrs. Henderson- why did you know that?” His voice was higher. “Was that your first time at Orange’s house?”
“He was WHERE,” Richard said, at the same time that Batman demanded, “Report!”
Everyone ignored Batman.
“No.” Tim shrunk back a bit. “I went there yesterday, too. Mrs. Henderson gave me hot chocolate and told me about child labor.”
Jason put his face in his hands again. His nose blood was trailing down his neck now. 
“I didn’t go into Mr. Orange’s house yesterday,” Tim admitted in the interest of fairness. “His windows were all closed. But I did talk to him a little.”
Richard made another teapot sound and picked Tim up. 
The big computer turned itself on. A pretty woman was-
“Batgirl!” Tim said, and waved enthusiastically at her. 
She lifted a hand back and stared at him. She had dark undereye circles, but she was still really pretty. “Zatanna should be there in a couple of minutes, so no one shoot her.”
Jason flipped Batgirl off as well and sort of sulked.
“Tim, I’m sorry that I missed your condition,” Batgirl said. “I would have offered you more support.”
“It’s okay,” Tim reassured her. “I had a good time. Tam gave me lots of fun stuff to do. And Jason was really nice to me.”
Everyone looked at Jason.
“Oh?” Batgirl said.
“I was not,” Jason said, sounding harassed. 
“Of course he was,” Tim said, kind of confused by the way they were acting. “Doesn’t he have to be?” He waited a moment. “He’s my boyfriend, right?”
Jason choked. Richard let out a loud “HA!” Batman made a sound that Tim had never heard before from a human and didn’t know how to classify. Kind of a ‘yack!” with lots of phlegm involved.
Oh, no. Tim laid out his evidence hastily. “He called me Baby,” Tim listed. 
“Baby Bird,” Jason corrected desperately.
“That’s not any better,” Richard said. He had a horrible weird grin that stretched too wide across his face. “It's certainly a pet name.”
“Die-”
Tim continued over their commentary, counting on his fingers. “He brought me soup!” He stressed it. “With dumplings in it- real dumplings!” That was important evidence. No one had made him real dumplings before that!
“I said that meant nothing!” Jason snapped.
“And my email signature says Tim Drake-Wayne,” Tim continued. “Bruce and Richard are really really old, so I couldn’t have married either one of them,” he said, practically. It was unthinkable.
Batgirl made a snort-laugh. “Good theory,” she said, catlike grin firmly in place. Richard was silent at that part.
“I’m gathering from context that I was wrong,” Tim admitted. He crossed his arms. “But I had good reason for the theory.” He felt a bit sullen about it. He didn’t deserve to get laughed at. 
“Tim.” Batman knelt in front of him and used his soft ‘I love you voice.’
Oh.
“I adopted you,” he said. He made serious eye contact.
Tim stared back. “Did you marry my mom?” he asked, heartbroken. “Wait- my Dad? Did you marry my Dad?!” He hit Batman in the chest, suddenly hysterical. “I hate you! You broke up my parents’ marriage?! Why would you seduce them?” He felt betrayed.
Batman caught his hands and hefted him up. “No, no, sweetheart,” he soothed. Everyone else was very quiet.
That was worse than Batman breaking up his parents’ marriage.
It had been a long week. That was Tim’s justification for bursting into tears if anyone asked him. He had been desperately avoiding thinking about the years-old postcard on the fridge and the fact that Mom hadn't video called him even once in the week he had been stranded here.
Batman bounced him and made shushing noises, his big warm hand moving up and down Tim’s back. 
“I wanna go hoooome,” Tim howled. He pressed his full body into Batman and clung with all his might. “I wanna go home, I want my mom!” He wailed.
“Oh, buddy,” Bruce said sadly. His breath hitched. “I know. I know, sweetheart.”
“Is it a bad time?”
Tim lifted his face. Through blurry tears he saw a new lady was there. “Where are your pants?” he sniffled.
“Yeah, Zatanna,” Jason said sweetly. “Where are your pants?”
She gave him a withering look. “This is Red Robin as a chick, then?” She pursed her lips at him. “Cute kid. You wanna go home?” She made a gesture for Batman to put him down.
Bruce hesitated. Tim smacked at his chest. “Yes,” he said. Bruce sort of sighed and let Tim down to the ground again.
“Let me get a good look at you.” She knelt to his level and muttered something with an offhand sort of gesture that she didn’t seem to do on purpose. Tim kept his back straight. “Alright, this is a quick fix. Wanna say goodbye?”
“Goodbye, little Timmy,” Richard said quickly. He sort of sniffled. Batgirl quickly echoed him. Batman sort of squeezed his shoulder and forced out a gruff goodbye.
Tim looked at Jason. Everyone else did, too. 
“Aren’t you going to say anything to your boyfriend?” Richard stage-whispered. Zatanna made a weird face.
Jason looked like he’d tasted something terrible. Tim shrunk back. “It’s okay,” he said in a small voice. “He doesn’t have to-”
“There goes my reputation,” Jason muttered, and came over to give Tim a hug. “Goodbye, baby bird. You did a really good job and we are all proud of you. Go home and give your Mom a hug for me, okay?”
“Softie,” Richard hissed. Tim didn’t care.
“I love you too,” Tim said, because that was the kind of thing adults meant when they said they were proud of you. “Okay, Miss Katana. I’m ready to go.”
“Zatanna,” she said. “Sa uoy erew eforeb!”
He sort of blacked out for a second.
Then Tim was 19 years old, 5 foot 6 inches tall, and standing in the Batcave surrounded by people who would make fun of him mercilessly for thinking Jason was his husband if he did not immediately deflect and make him the target of mockery instead. He was very lucky that he’d been dressed in his own clothes when he’d transformed. At least he looked normal. 
Bruce opened his mouth to ask a question. 
Tim cut him off. “You’re a big softie,” he immediately accused Jason. “Those dumplings were homemade. You checked in on me so many times. Can’t believe you accuse Dick of mothering us.” He made a shitty grin.
Jason reared back, affronted. Dick made a vindicated sound, apparently recovered from the psychic damage of being put in the same category of ‘too old’ as Bruce. Tim mentally lowered the risk level of Dick starting a teasing campaign against him in retaliation.
“Haha, you love me,” Tim taunted Jason, dangerously close to be playing this kind of game and too reckless to care. He wasn’t going down for this mess. “L!” He put his thumb and forefinger up to make an L on his forehead. “Loser!”
“Listen, you little shit,” Jason started. He balled up a fist and took a step forward.
Bruce cut him off. “Jason, it’s not embarrassing to love your little brother. Thank you for being so mindful of his health and checking in on his welfare. I’m very proud of you.”
Jason made a sound like a cat throwing up.
“Yeah, I’m going to go,” Zatanna said flatly. She nodded to Tim. “If anything seems wrong, just text me. Oracle, don’t contact me.”
“Love you too,” Barbara said cheerfully. 
Zatanna gave her a withering look and portalled away.
Tim ducked away and ran upstairs before Jason could lunge at him. Behind him he heard a scuffle start up. “Little Wing, you need to get checked out,” Dick said sweetly. Glass broke. “Alfred! Jason needs caretaking!”
“No, I need to kick Tim’s ass!” Jason howled. Tim made it to the stairs and started taking them two at a time.
He passed Alfred going the other way. “Master Tim,” Alfred said, forcing him to stop fleeing. Jason wouldn’t get him with Alfred right there anyway. Alfred was home base for these games. “Are you staying for the night?”
Tim opened his mouth to say ‘No’ because really, he didn’t need to be here when he was an adult who had his own place. Then he thought about how he’d felt alone in his apartment for the last week, longing for human connections and so hungry for approval that he’d gratefully accepted whatever task a friendly stranger suggested to him. 
“Yeah, I’ll stay for the weekend,” Tim said, and ambushed Alfred with a hug. Alfred went stiff, but wrapped an arm around his back a moment later. “Love you.” He broke away and started running up the stairs again. He barely heard the answering sentiment.
It was good to be home.
…He kind of wanted soup.
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