#and all the Bats & Birds being suspicious™

[massivetittiesandwarcrimes]

Since Clark is from the midwest, do you guys think he's ever brought puppy chow to the watchtower as a gift during the holidays or snack for parties or something, and just thoroughly confused 90% of his friends?

I mean, just picture Batman - Bruce Wayne, ultra-wealthy nepo baby from New Jersey raised by a British man - being presented with a bag of something called puppy chow by an excited and smiling Superman, and just... Having no idea how to respond.

Does he think Superman is an alien who is new to Earth, and has somehow confused animal food with human food? Or if he does know who Clark is, does he think this is some kind of joke; it's not his usual approach, but if Bruce had pissed him off lately I could see Batman being paranoid and thinking Clark is trying to use the alien excuse as a way to make him eat dog food as some kind of punishment.

Even most of the human born metas would probably be a little bit confused, because it very much is a Midwestern thing, and the comics are constantly moving the different cities around, so as far as I am aware, Clark Kent is the only superhero guaranteed to have grown up in the Midwest.

[moosemink]

Working alone looks different

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ CH5 - The Two-For-One ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Pairing: No actual Romance just some mentioned, JayRoy | TimKon | BirdFlash Characters: Batfam | Justice League Word count: 3.680 A/N: Almost done with cross posting this now. Time flies c.c AO3 Masterlist for W.A.L.D.

Shazam, Green Lantern and Flash were chatting comfortably in the common room. They had come back from a mission an hour ago and had decided to skip the debrief and eat dinner together instead. They had grabbed a heap of food from Big Belly Burger on their way back and were now eating, glad that Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman were all off world so nobody would mind them doing as they pleased for now.

Hal was eyeing Flash suspiciously as his fries had yet again depleted faster than they should. It was his second pack of fries but all together he had only eaten barely a handful of the greasy potato goodness. Barry just gave him a confused look that said 'What did I do now?'. Hal just shook his head, ''Stop stealing my fries, man.''

''Sorry Glowstick, it's just so easy.'', Hal jumped up from the couch, startled by Red Robin's amused voice right next to him. Barry and Shazam were in the same boat as they too were unaware of the Bats presence.

''SHIT ! FUCK ! Whyyy do you guys always have do this ??'', Barry whined from the other side of the room, which he had found himself in before he even realized why he had been startled.

The teen vigilante simply laughed at the heroes' grievance and continued working on his priced treasure, his laptop. Sprawled out in a position Hal was sure couldn’t be comfortable for anyone with bones.

''Fuck you.'', Hal plainly stated as Flash sat back down, Shazam let out a surprised laugh that quickly turned into amused giggles as Red Robin simply flipped Hal off in response. Hal scowled at the captain while sitting back down, now aware of the Bat next to him. He leaned forward to grab one of his burgers but was yet again interrupted. By yet another Bat.

The other Red Bat, Red Hood came half crashing into the room as he abruptly slid to a stop from his full sprint. He immediately zeroed in on his brother. His words carried an alarming sense of urgency with them,

''Replacement ! The baby bird got himself kidnapped.''

Hal took in a sharp breath and jumped to his feet, Barry and Shazam following suit. They were all very alarmed by the man's words and very confused by Red Robin's reaction to a baby having been kidnapped. His reaction being basically nonexistent as he kept typing on his computer and just raised one eyebrow as he spoke, ''He'll probably be fine. Why'd you come here, Cass is home right ?''

''He still has a broken leg, Cass is out with a friend and-'' Hood seemed to steel himself for his next words, ''N got wind of it.''

Red Robin froze. He slowly raised his eyes to meet Hood’s, pure terror on his face. Hal felt his blood go cold at seeing a Bat look afraid. ''Who is N ? Is he one of your villains ?'', he found himself asking.

His question earned him a snort from Hood and Red alike. ''He's about to be if we don't stop him.'', Hood seemed to turn his words over in his mind, ''Help him, there is no way we can stop Dickwing. His baby bird ‘s in ''danger'' after all.''

''True that.'', Red said as he jumped over the couch, laptop swiftly disappearing somewhere. He exited the room quickly, returning after just a heartbeat in his suit. Hal realized that this was the first time he had seen the teen in something other than sweat pants and t-shirts. He noted that the air around the teen Bat was just as intense as Batman's usually was before a very serious mission. The energy was mirrored by Hood. Hal and Barry shared a concerned look, ''We'll come too.'', he said with determination.

Determination that quickly died at the twin Batglares™ he received. “We could be useful ?”, Barry hesitantly added, though it was more of a question. Hal could feel the scrutinizing look they received from Red Hood even through the helmet. It lasted for a little longer than comfortable, not that it was comfortable for even a second, then Red Hood turned to look at his brother, then to Hal’s shock the ex crime lord started to chirp. Hal had to do a double take as he couldn’t believe his ears. It was possibly the most terrifying chirping the lantern had ever heard. Red Robin answered with a few bone chilling chirps of his own and Hal realized that they were talking with one another.

An image of Batman being taught bird langue by a small sparrow, though the caped crusader probably preferred ravens or bats.

“Fine.”, Hood drawled after a moment, “You can come with, but and I want you to actually listen to me, don’t do shit unless either one of us tells you to.” The young vigilante’s words left no room for compromises. “If I say jump, you say ?”, Hood asked them in a tone that brought Hal instantly back to his military days.

“How high ?”, Barry tried but just received a scoff from Red Robin.

“You don’t say shit, you move.”, Hood drawled in a warning tone. A shudder ran down Hal’s back. Who ever this N was, they were definitely not to be taken lightly. With a glance to the side Hal knew that Barry was about to faze through the floor with how much he was shaking. He gently placed a grounding hand on the speedster’s shoulder.

“Since that’s out of the way, let’s get moving.“, Red Robin stated with a tone a teen shouldn’t be allowed to use. He took a step forward before turning around with a confused look. “You not coming Captain ?”

Captain Marvel had silently floated to the common room’s exit. Hal hadn’t noticed but the man looked terrified, though he tried to hide it. “I- I don’t wanna get in your way, this seems pretty high stakes and I really should go and sleep and you know, all of us would probably be overkill and-“

“It’s fine cap,” Hood cut of the heroes rambling. Said hero quickly left before the Bat could change his mind. Everyone stood still for a moment as they tried to process Shazam’s unusual reaction. Hal guessed that the man might’ve just used up most of his energy already and didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the Batbrats. As Hal and Barry followed close behind the Bats towards the Zeta he felt a brooding regret in the back of his mind at choosing to volunteer his help.

——————————

Hal felt very validated in his feelings of regret as the harsh, potentially (read: definitely) acidic rain of Gotham stabbed him with what felt like a million needles. Hal was pretty sure that 1) acid rain shouldn’t actually hurt and 2) Gotham’s acid rain was definitely not something he ever wanted to come in contact with ever again.

With a glance to the side he felt again validated, this time by Barry’s pained expression and narrowed eyes. The speedster was suffering just as much as he was. The two Bats though seemed completely unaffected. Hal yet again realized that Gothamites were a different breed of human. They just had to be.

He would’ve chalked it up to them being Bats but the few people that were outside, that Hal spotted as they ran across rooftops, were just as unbothered. Most of them weren’t even carrying an umbrella and had at most a hat or hood to ward off the rain. Hal shook his head in disbelief, he then almost got a bit too up close and personal with the floor as the two Reds came to an abrupt stop at the ledge of a warehouse’s rooftop.

Hal and Barry shared a glance before approaching the ledge as well. Hal then followed the gaze of the two young vigilantes and landed on a silhouette, crouching on the ledge of a rooftop a few roofs away. He held his breath as Hood motioned for the person to come over.

Said person stood up and just stared at them for a moment, Hal felt a shiver run down his spine and the urge to flee as if he was a pray animal that had been cornered. Red Robin just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as the Person did an elaborate flip of the ledge and promptly disappeared.

With a screech from Barry they then reappeared behind them. Hal briefly wondered if he had ever heard of a hero or villain with the ability to teleport but his thoughts were cut short as Hood spoke, “Dickwing, you know why we’re here.”

Dickwing- or whatever his actual name was because Hal really hoped that it wasn’t that, answered Hood with a tone that could cut diamonds, “I know why you came, but why are they here ?” With the last words the man, clad from his neck down in black only interrupted by a blue bird insignia, gestured towards Hal and Barry. His gaze felt cold even through the dark blue domino mask he was wearing. This skill coupled with the black hair and air of familiarity between the Bats and the newcomer made something click in Hal’s mind. “No…”, he muttered under his breath and instantly all eyes were on him.

“No, what ?”, Hood drawled.

It then seemed to clicked for Barry too as he answered for Hal, “You’re one too.” Barry shook his head in disbelief.

“I’m a what ?”, asked the man in question, his tone unamused.

“Another Bat.”, Hal simply stated. A heartbeat and then both Red Robin and Red Hood barked in laughter. The newest discovered Bat, tried to keep his stoic expression but he too started to laugh at Hal’s and Barry’s incredulous expressions.

“I’m indeed another Bat. Name is Nightwing, but you should know that.” Nightwing paused before turning to the other two Bats, “Unless… he didn’t tell them, did he ?” His voice was icy and disappointed.

“Nope, we’ve been having fun just turning up out of nowhere and introducing ourselves that way. It’s been a wild few weeks.”, Red Robin explained while grinning a shit eating grin.

“B can be glad that I’ve been busy with the Titans the past few weeks then.” That statement made Hal pause. He knew about the Titans. But he had never heard of a Nightwing being part of them. And he said just that out loud without meaning too.

“A member? Honey I founded the Titans. I’m their Batman, though I’m much better than B. Way less emotionally constipated.”, Nightwing grinned cockily as he swung an arm around Hal’s shoulder.

“Now to much more important matters ! If we wait any second longer I promise you guys I will give in to my true nature and I’d rather not explain to Gordon why half of Gotham’s underworld has spontaneously cancelled their subscription to life.”, Nightwing might’ve smiled while saying those words and one could’ve mistaken his words as a joke but it was clear to Hal that he was completely serious by the way Hood and Red Robin quickly shifted to be combat ready. Hal decided that it would be best to put any questions on hold and with a look to Barry his friend seemed to agree.

There was no signal, or maybe the lantern just missed it, the three Bats just promptly dove of the roof together and with three quiet thwips, Hal recognized as grappling guns, swung towards a set destination. Barry and Hal scrambled to follow them and just barely made it in time to see the start of the fight. Or more like the non lethal carnage that the Bats left behind as they moved through the Warehouse. They had simply exploded right through the front doors.

The two non-Gotham heroes could only knock out a handful of leftover goons that had been lucky enough to escape the Bats and the few that had surrendered. Hal mused if health insurance was part of the standard Gotham-Goon-Contract as he watched the gruesome beat down happening before him. He watched as the Bats seamlessly danced around one another as they gifted bruises and broken bones to the way too brave goons. He watched as Red Robin and Nightwing seamlessly switched weapons, the bo-staff turning into escrima sticks and the sticks turning into a staff. They vaulted over one another and one could think they could actually fly. Hal was captivated by the ease with which Hood fired his guns (with rubber bullets of course) hitting knee caps and head shots with scary precision even without looking, all while avoiding landing any friendly fire.

Hal stood there stunned with Barry. Batman was already a force to be reckoned with but Hal was sure that if the Batlings wanted too they could easily take down any of the leaguers. They were, in simple words, absolutely terrifying. Especially the way they had existed for years even outside of Gotham with no one in the league knowing, besides the dark knight of course. Hal remembers Signal’s words, if he wasn’t Batman’s friend he wouldn’t know about any of them, Hal was glad to be in the know now. He was even more glad that they were on his side and not his enemies. He was not confident he could win. Not when their together, not with the way they fight as if they’re one. And Hal was sure they weren’t even giving 100% as the goons didn’t seem to belong to any of their big rogues.

Hal watched one body hit the floor after another in the brutal but non-lethal massacre. He couldn’t look away.

And then Hal saw him. A child. Tied to a chair with an expression that couldn’t be more annoyed and bored. Then their eyes met and Hal felt his heart skip a beat. 1) He was pretty sure the child was plotting his murder right then and there and 2) Hood’s words rung through his head ‘baby bird’, that must be said ‘baby’ bird. The kid was dressed in a bright suit, reminiscent of a traffic light, eyes covered by the expected domino mask, this time in dark green and the usual black hair. Hal was stunned, that child was maybe 10, 12 at best. How did they allow such a small human to run around in Gotham of all places. A child with a broken leg no less. Made very clear by the , of course, black cast around the kid’s limb. The lantern wondered how Batman could allow such a thing to happen but his thoughts promptly stopped as he felt the Batglare™ x 4 on him.

He had never felt more in danger as in that moment, he was infinitely glad that they dropped it shortly in favor of untying the child. Or rather, Hal corrected himself, in favor of stopping the kid from killing Hal. True to what Hal expected from even a baby bat, he had already freed himself. Red Robin had a stern hand on the small boys shoulder and Nightwing had wrapped his whole body around the child's small frame in an octopus hug.

“Tsk, Why are they here ?” The traffic-light-child hissed and Hal found himself asking the same question, in the end they hadn’t been needed at all.

“Honestly,” Red Robin said while keeping his hand firmly on the scowling kid's shoulder, “Thought it might be a good opportunity to introduce the rest of the family, at least the rest of us youngsters.”

“Did you call agent A old just now ?” Nightwing asked incredulously, while unwrapping himself from the child to clutch his pearls in mock shock.

The teen raised an eyebrow and gave him a look that said ‘Am I wrong ?’. “Agent A is immortal.”, Nightwing answered and Hal believed him despite the mischievous grin on the vigilante’s face.

Flash hesitantly joined the talk with a question that had been on Hal's mind as well, “Say, why were you this worried ?” Barry asked towards Red Robin and Red Hood, “I mean these guys seemed hardly like anything to be worried about.”, a certain tension spread over the room.

“Let’s just say I don’t like my baby brothers being kidnapped. The last time didn't end well for all parties involved.”, Nightwing’s voice was tight as he answered, the previous grin completely gone.

“I got better in the end, didn’t I ?”, Hood drawled while throwing his arm over Nightwing’s shoulder. A seriously worrisome statement that had Hal furrow his brow. His brow also furrowed for another reason though. But before he could voice the question on his lips, the Gothamites before him continued to bicker with one another.

Nightwing scoffed before elbowing his brother in the stomach, “And got way too tall and wide, you fridge. You used to be so small and cute.” Nightwing mused while raising his hand to his chest to indicate the height.

“Huh, so 15 year old Red Hood was taller than Red Robin ?”, the child chimed in and Hal couldn’t tell if he was just asking to confirm his thought or to poke fun at his brother.

“What did I ever do to you Robin ?!” Said brother exclaimed, offended by being called small.

“You ate my honeyed dates and I’m just stating facts. Another fact is that I expect to be taller than you by next year.”, Robin said, though this time Hal was sure he was teasing RR, based on the barely noticeably raised corners of his mouth. Hal was glad he had gotten used to reading some of Batman’s facial expressions, as rare as they were. Especially as this Batling was just a miniature Batman and had the exact same 'smile'.

Red Robin sputtered at his brother's teasing while Hood, in his duty as older brother, gleefully added salt to the wound, “That means you’ll be the smallest, even BB is taller than you.”

“Only by like, a centimeter!”, The teen exclaimed and threw his hands up in exasperation, a scowl evident on his face.

“Still counts.” Barry muttered and earned himself a Bo-staff straight to the shin. The speedster keeled over in pain and Hal couldn't stop the bark of laughter that escaped him.

Though he finally saw a chance to ask the question that had been on his mind since a minute ago, ''Wait a minute, who is the eldest of you Batlings ?''

''Who do you think it is ?'', Red Robin asked, his head tilted in question and anticipated amusement.

Hal hesitated and shared a glance with Barry who was now sitting on the floor, still rubbing his shin in pain. ''Red Hood.'' He answered after raising his eyes again, while worrying his lip between his teeth.

As soon as the words left his mouth Nightwing gasped loudly in played offense. ''Little Wing ?! The oldest ?!'' The vigilante shook his head in mock disappointment, ''I should've introduced myself first. I'm a good few years older then Hoodie here.''

The nickname promptly earned him a tackle from his 'kid' brother, and wow Hal couldn't believe that at all, the two scuffled for a few moments until Nightwing had his brother pinned down with an air around him only an older sibling could hold.

There was a break in conversation as Barry cleared his throat and brought everyone’s attention to himself, “So,” he drawled, stretching the word out, “I do have to ask if one of you has an idea why Shazam was so scared at the thought of coming along.”

“Shazam ?” Robin asked, his head tilted in a way that Hal had to admit almost looked adorable if he wasn’t looking at a brightly colored, miniature Batman.

“Yeah, Captain Marvel. Tall guy, like 6”2, bright red spandex suit, with a yellow lightning bolt on it, though not as cool as mine. Also doesn’t wear a mask, like Supes.”, Barry supplied, placing his hands on his hips at the self praise.

“Don’t toot your own horn too loud, one minute wonder.” Hood drawled in an amused tone. The speedster scowled at him and opened his mouth, probably to retaliate, when Robin spoke up,

“I have met him before I believe, he was in Gotham so I enforced father’s rule. I made sure he would not return.”, the mini Batman stated matter-of-factly, while proudly brandishing his- holy shit the child had a fucking Katana ! Hal really needed to talk to Spooky.

“I expected more from him but he ran with his tail between his legs before I even got serious, tsk.”, Children should not be allowed to be this terrifying Hal concluded, that and he really needs to go home, right about now. He had enough moments of terror for a full year in a couple of hours.

“By the way, why were you out tonight Rob ? B benched you last I checked. You know because of the leg.” Red Robin drawled while loosely gesturing at the cast on Robin’s leg. ‘Good to know Spooky doesn’t support this.’ Hal thought to himself.

“I was just went out to feed the strays. I have promised them food and I shall uphold my promises. Even if I’m apparently on bed rest, tsk.” Robin spat the last words at his cast as if he was personally offended that he wasn’t invulnerable. He probably was if Hal was being honest. He seemed like the type. ''This plaster shackle shall not be the reason one of the strays go hungry. I still do not think I need to wear-''

Robin had certainly wanted to keep talking but Nightwing smoothly stopped him from ranting about his self bestowed responsibilities by picking the boy up and disappearing via smoke bomb, along with all his brothers. Hal shared a look with Barry and they made their way home.

Really ‘like father like son.’ was a phrase that fit all of the Batchildren, maybe a little too well sometimes.

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[theonetruegnome]

Small trivia bits because I said so.

Had too many ideas, felt guilty about not world building for the last few days and just reposting, I'll kill two birds with one stone. Couldn't include specific trivia for everyone atm (sorry!) but I did my best.

One of the only reasons Mana and her family are still invited to the House Vergand Gala, aside from being able to see them turned away and humiliated, is that her great great grandfather, Mitchelon the Peacekeeper, was king at one point, though only for forty six seconds due to a by-law. Their 'Royal' blood allows them a bit of wiggle room when it comes to being disgrace families.

Conk is constantly wearing out the soles of his booties due to his sharp talons and must keep getting someone to darn them for him, as he doesn't know how. He tried to file down his talons like Eli did with his tusks, but only ended up sharpening them somehow.

Dandydoe still sleeps with a nightlight on, always. She doesn't need it of course, she's not terrified of being ambushed while she's most Vulnerable, alone and not being able to see! Don't be an idiot! She has it because sometimes her little sisters like to sleep with her when they get scared and it reminds her of them, no other reason!

Once, the nightlight broke while she was asleep and she wouldn't get a new one for a week. Conk-out looked in on her three nights after it broke to see her backed into a corner holding a wiffle ball bat. He knocked on the window, but she couldn't see who it was and ran screaming at him, brandishing the bat. When her awoken family members eventually went away back to their rooms, she woke a now sleeping Conk back up, let him inside and he helped her back into bed and told her a story about a viking valkyrie who fought and killed the night itself to protect her loved ones. He continued the story, even after she fell asleep, because he liked to see her smiling and happy, listening to the story he spun. Dandy asked Mana to conjure her up a new nightlight, FOR HER SISTERS NOT HER, but as you know, she went wonky and dyed all of Dandy's possessions burgundy.

Eli sometimes forgets how much weaker the others are compared to him, so on the rare occasions when he gives them a patented* Eli squeeze™ it ends up with them slapping his arm for air when he gets too carried away. The only one who can withstand a full Eli squeeze™ without passing out is Callum, and he has even requested a group one on numerous occasions when he feels it appropriate.

*He's written out 'mine don't steal' in crayon on a piece of paper and framed it in his room. There's no punctuation, and he can't correct it without breaking the frame.

Munchypup once tried to serve the others his favourite meal, but most of them couldn't stand it. Picky's shift ate half out of politeness, then said it wasn't for her. Callum tried to. power through, chewing as fast as he could and drinking half a cup of water after each swallow. Conk feigned unconsciousness and got mustard all in his plumage when his face slammed into his plate. Dandy picked out the parts she liked and discarded the rest. Leah felt ill and started to look green while eating and Eli carried her to the doctors, leaving a suspiciously empty plate behind. Mana on the other hand, cleared her plate and asked for seconds afterwards, which Munch was only too happy to supply, he always loved to see someone enjoy eating, especially his cooking!

New character coming' tomorrow! WOO!

[llamagoddessofficial]

So from what I gather, wing, antennae and essentially just grooming in general for the Moth Bois is very intimate if done by the right person ✨✨ awwe

Is there any chance of them trying to do the same for MC to but the Human Version™? 🥺🥺🥺 E.g combing through hair instead of grooming antennae, giving back scratches in place of wing grooming and so on.

How long would it take for each of the Moth Bois to feel comfortable giving back that affection?

How often would they even willingly engage in grooming each other, and do they lean more towards Receiving™ or Giving™?

❤️This ask is pure indulgence I just really f-ing love back scratches and my hair getting brushed 👉👈❤️

(PS it's late here I'm very tired and English isn't my first language so I apologise for any spelling mistakes)

Sans: He adores giving and receiving affection from his darling, obviously; his whole shtick is getting Mc to groom him. The zoo thought he’d be aggressive with touch, but he’ll sit there for hours happily purring while she combs the dust off of him... he really likes giving Mc affection, too. Really likes it. To the point where it’s a bit suspicious just how snuggly he is with his darling zookeeper after all the aggression he showed everyone else.

He likes her hair. He’s always (carefully, not enough for the effect to be noticeable) using his sleep pheremones when she’s around to make her feel relaxed and calm, and when he thinks she’s got her guard down, he reaches out to run his claws over her locks. Sometimes she pulls away, nervous about a massive carnivorous moth monster putting his huge hands near her head, but sometimes she’s eased enough to not really notice and just let him give gentle massages. It feels nice after a long day.

He loves doing it, especially after she’s touched his wings/antennae. It makes him feel like they’re a couple grooming each other... you can pretty much see the love hearts coming off him. He wants to learn to braid.

Red: He’s handsy, obviously. He’s a huge flirt, she’s nice and soft, he’s got four arms and it’s pretty difficult to keep track of all of them, so every now and then when she’s in his enclosure and not paying full attention he’ll tug on her clothes, pinch her thighs or poke her somewhere she’s ticklish. He loves her startled, embarrassed reactions... he really likes when he goes in for a play-bite and she makes funny squawking sounds and tries to bat him away.

He enjoys her being close, and when she admires his wings he puffs up with pride like a courting male bird. But the softer types of affection, like antennae touching and outright grooming, make him embarrassed and fidgety. He’d rather things stayed easygoing and flirty.

Except... when he’s in one of his ‘so bored he’s gone insane’ moods. When he’s like that, he wants all of her attention, all of her touches, he wants everything. If she’s not in his enclosure but he can see her, he might even sing to her; absolutely obscene behaviour, from a moth.

Skull: He doesn’t want to touch, and if anyone tried to touch him he’d bite their limb clean off. He’s endured far too much for far too long, contact has always meant pain, he wants to be left alone in his den with his blankets where no one can hurt him. Mc happily gives him the space he wants, only entering his enclosure to clean up or bring food/nice things- he’s intimidating anyway, the largest of the moths. She initially misinterprets his crush and shyness as his usual hatred of anything alive, so she’s happy to hang back. 

She never tries to push any boundaries. It just makes the warm, fluttery feelings in his Soul even stronger.

... He doesn’t know how to be affectionate. He never had his wings groomed, never had his hands held, he was never sung to- no one taught him that when you love someone there’s ways of showing it. His instincts croon to draw her close and touch her soft hands and hum, but he’s confused, he’s still terrified she’ll hurt him like everyone else has. 

Until he can drum up the confidence to hold her, he’ll settle for stealing her things. He can hold those.