#bab tag

[arttuff]

they have a terminal case of the sillies

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[were-wolverine]

dick grayson has scary dog privilege but it’s just his younger siblings

dick: hi :D !!

cass, jason, tim & damian: *behind him, glaring*

[welcometogrouchland]

ANOTHER SKETCH DUMP! Featuring more of me playing with lineless art. Batman reborn era trio (dick, damian and steph) I miss you...when will you return from war. Also featuring Steph designs bc I've seen ppl dissatisfied w/ her current look, some good mom Talia, and Jason Todd poetry club. Duke is confused not that Jason would start a poetry club but that he'd have such mid poetry opinions. (ID in Alt)

[confessedlyfannish]

DC x DP Writing Prompt 4?? 45?? 2,321?? HUT!!!

"So you eat ectoplasm," Flash says hands clasped and index fingers pressed against his mouth.

"Ayup," Phantom says, punctuating with an obnoxious slurp of his goopy ectoplasm. "Does a not body good."

"But the place you come from is made of ectoplasm."

"Ayup."

"So you are literally eating the fabric of your universe?" Flash says, voice rising in pitch.

"No, the fabric of the Infinite Realms is space-time, same as Earth, well not the same," Phantom says, scrunching up his nose. "Earth is more cotton, The Zone is kinda stretchy...huh, like spandex. Neat!"

"But you're eating up the matter that makes you you--" Flash says, hands waving.

"Dude, everything you are was once a star," Phantom says, waving a hand at all of him. "Every last bit of you and everything around you. Star. Now replace it with ectoplasm, and we just cut out all the middlemen."

Flash watches him guzzle up the last bit looking faintly green himself. "That still kind of sounds like a justification for cannibalism."

"I promise to never eat you," Phantom says with uncomfortable emphasis, suddenly solemn. He stares at Flash without blinking until Flash, deeply unnerved, backs out of the room.

"Not funny," Batman says, flipping a page in his newspaper. "He was supposed to be on Watch Duty."

"Now Batman," Phantom drapes his tail across the man's shoulders and lets his fangs elongate and multiply.

"W̵̢̛͓͉̼͔͉͖̖̥͍̪̲̥̯̞̝͎͔̩̹̙͌̽̐͜ͅh̵̨̠̳̖͔̬̭̟̗̠̹͕̟̮̬͓̺͙̊͛͒ͅo̶̧̢̡̨̨̦͚̼̞̫͈͚̤̜͉̰̱̭͙̣̼͙̱͚͓͐͌̒̋̇ͅ ̵̡̡̰͙̠̦͙̼̘̪͈̻̟̙̳͚̤̮̖̱̎̐̀̇̾͛͊͛͊̈̋̈̋̿̍͑̔̏̎͑̒͗̚͘͝͠͝ͅs̵̡̹̣̗̼̙͓͖͉̒̃͋̂̄̄̈́͋̾̈́̀̎̉̓̒̇͐̎͊̚͝͝a̵̡̧͔͍͍͙͔͖̮̦͚͍̖̲͖͖̻̍͊͆̊̿́̿̅́̈͠͠͠i̴͙͙̾̌͊̓̂̌̒͒d̶̨͚̳̟̲̻̤̎͊͐̏͌̌̅̄́̏̽̓̃͂̓͜͝��͖̞͙̹̯͙̟͓͙͇͖̺̺͜ͅͅ ̵̧̢͎͔̜̮̼̻̫̗̼͙͍͔̺͎͐̍̈́͜͜͜I̵̢̢̛̙̤̳͈̮̜̩͇͕̠̻̫̳̟̤̭͙͖̓̾̓̇̈́̂͒͂͌̍̎̅̑̇̔̇́͌͜͝ ̵̛̣̮̩̩̞̯̻̱̻̳͍̞͙̗̤̗̥͔̭̥͒͒̌͗̿͐̓̇̈̔̌͒̋̑̽̇͜͝ͅẁ̷̧̮̳̗̗͍̠̦̃a̸̡̧̛̛̺͈͍̟̣̫̺̟̗̥̲̻̥͔͔̲̱̣̩̠̖̰̿̋̄͆̀͋́̐̈́́̈́͌͆̅͂́̈́̓͗́̇ş̵̨̨̨̛̛͔̦͚̦̝̺̯̗͓̼̟͙̼̩̣̺̠̭̘͂̏̓̋̓̋̇̏͊̃͊͊͋̊̑̀͌̂͋͐͘̚͜͝ ̶̒̃͊̀̀̓̈́̆̀͠��̢̧͍͓̹̘͍̱̬̜̙̮̖̇̿̀̇̿̆̔̂̈́͘ͅͅj̵̯̱̇̈́̌̈͌͆̋̑̇̋̎̐̈̇̓͘͘̚͝o̷̢̙͎̹̰̟̳̼̠̖͉̦̘̺̙͑͂͑̌̉͗̑͑̉͌͜͜͠͝͠ͅk̶̡͇̈́͋̈̈́̐̀̂̈́̽̾͌̂̾̊̑͘͠ḯ̸̢̢̢̞̱̦͙͖̱̙͕̞̮̫̱̣̤̥͍͍̫̗͔͙̞̘̓̂̄͂̿̉͒̈̍̅̍̅̍̏̋̕͘͝͠͝ͅņ̴̛͉̲̮̫̩̙̠̯̤͚̠̥̳͈̝͇́̂͑g̶̛͎̻̟͍̯̪̺̬͍̲̱͇̪̩̰͆̓͊̃̅͗̆̈́̊̈́͘?"

Batman lifts his head from the newspaper silently.

"Ugh, fine!" Phantom says, throwing his hands up. "I'll take next watch."

"Hn."

[macksartblock]

see you know i couldn't resist this

thanks @babacontainsmultitudes for the idea i hope i did your vision justice lol

[ooctlt]

WHY THE HELL HAS THIS PERSON BEEN IN THE BATHROOM FOR SO LONG IM GONNA PISS MYSELF

PREVIOUSLY ON HARROW

the bathroom door is locked forever

part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |

[saphushia]

the flat ass robin

[havendance]

I know I just said I was planning on switching to digital for Birds of Prey, but this cover is so good and now I'm tempted again.

[15minlatewithbatbucks]

Tim: Bruce... I'm bisexual.

Bruce: ...

Bruce: ... I'll add it to your file.

--later--

Dick: You couldn't have been supportive of your pseudo child for ONCE in your life?

Bruce: What? What was I supposed to say. It wasn't relevant to the conversation.

Dick: I can't believe you! No, I can and that's WORSE.

--later still--

Dick: Hey, I heard about earlier.

Tim: Earlier?

Dick: When you came out to Bruce.

Tim: Oh, that. What about it?

Dick: I just wanted to say sorry about him, you know how he is. He supports you, and he loves-

Tim: Yikes, no. Dick, just no. He reacted exactly right. If he tried to get emotional I would have either killed him for being an imposter or killed myself to escape.

Tim: And besides, now I can tell people my sexuality is classified.

[arttuff]

oracle hosts another powerpoint presentation on booleans at the batcave. attendance mandatory.

[snersona]

its unsettling, to mother nothing

[carduelism]

[welcometogrouchland]

Been gone for a hot second helping out over at the DCtwt gatcha for gaza event (first three pieces! Extremely proud of that aquaman) so haven't had much time to do art outside that but here's some crumbs!

[crazysnor1ax]

You can buy yourself a plushie, a new snuggly buddy, a new friend even but watch out. The monies

[polyquestria]

Granny's got her whole beautiful queer family here to wish y'all a happy pride!

little ramble under the cut

The response to my ally Granny Smith post honestly shocked me a little, but I’m grateful for the attention it got!

A lot of people in the comments are outraged to hear that Granny was accused of being homophobic. But if you were in old, old fandom spaces, the idea that granny (and the apple family in general) were bigotted was quite common in fanart and fanfic cause, y'know, all old southern people are bigots, as we know (major sarcasm by the way).

I adore the apple family and it bugged me (and still does) to no end that people decided to make them into such stereotypes, purely because of their country accents and mannerisms. To me, the apple family is one of the most warm, open minded and accepting families out there. I mean they accepted the pies into their crew without any hard proof that they're biologically related. And Granny Smith herself welcomed Buttercup with open arms the moment her own father rejected her. If that's not ally, standing-at-a-pride-parade-offering-grandma-hugs behaviour, I don't know what is. Thus, ally Granny Smith was born!

I'm so happy she's resonated with so many people here. I'm sure she'd welcome all of you into the apple family if you needed it.