#b i have to be honest. the odds i already told you a lot of this are high

[pregstiel]

do a directors cut for the jack fic you wrote. the miserable one

gaze into the distant sky my beloved >:3. more general stuff out of the way first -- it was originally part of a completely different series! The Route of Flowers was conceived entirely separately as just a deconstruction of the beekeeper cas thing. when i first thought of gitds (way before i wrote it), it was supposed to be part of a 4 part exploration on how tfw 2.0 feels about the bunker (sam feels like he's been buried alive, cas is a visitor who is literally being slightly repelled by the warding, dean is having a great time). the jack fic had the strongest central imagery in comparison to the other ones, which was why it was the last man standing. then when i wrote The Route of Flowers after, i had gitds On The Brain, which is why they ended up being linked.

also for this fic i did so much research on ground nesting birds in minnesota. for no reason. whether or not this bird species is realistic has no relevance to anything in here.

on to more detailed stuff. i got the title from an anne brontë poem that i actually hadn't read before researching for this fic. i just couldn't think of a title so i googled poems with captive bird imagery until i found one that worked for it 😭. innovation.

"Dean doesn’t go on “pointless milk runs” with Cas, and Jack won’t either then."

i <3 when conspiring with the father won't save the daughter from her mother's fate. dean dismissing cas in front of jack and jack internalizing it because he wants dean's approval is SO important to me.

"Sam had already narrowed down where the vampire’s base could be to a small area, and he’s back in the motel room, listening in on the park rangers’ radio"

the product of me needing sam to Not Be There because this is between dean and jack. just throw in any explanation and call it a day

"It’s easy, Jack knows, the easiest hunt in the world, but he still can’t think about it without his breath speeding up and his heart pounding."

an important thing for me in this fic (which is also in the opening but that quote was too long), was that jack's ability to deal with the cognitive dissonance of monster hunting has been severely impacted by him losing his grace and now having to deal with the instinctive reactions of his body. when he was powered up he still felt these emotions, but he didn't have to deal as much with the visceral feeling of his heart spasming.

"He does it the way Cas told him: count to four on the inhale, hold it for seven, exhale for eight."

cas is the kind of father who will teach you a breathing exercise for your anxiety but won't stop you from going on a solo hike in the woods with your abusive stepdad <3. keep addressing the symptoms and not the cause, surely that will work out eventually!

"He had thought that at the very least, he wouldn’t have had to worry about that anymore, now that he was human."

this as a jack emotion for the central imagery of this (birds in a trap) wasn't something i thought of when i first thought of this fic, it only came in after i watched a ton of jack episodes.

" '– I mean, even with the boots, that’s going to go clean through' "

when their priorities are so different. when jack is focused on his guilt over almost crushing the chicks and all dean cares about is the hunt.

" 'Listen Jack, this head in the clouds shit is fine when you and Cas are doing… whatever you guys do together' "

again, dean being casually dismissive of cas to jack. really undermine his authority as a parent to his child.

"Jack doesn’t get the joke."

he's just like cas

" 'They don’t make miniature bears. Similar concept though – it’s a leg-hold trap, some asshole was probably trying to catch a fox or some shit.' "

the trap as a central metaphor for this fic was pretty important. sadly i conceived of it prior to really thinking of the logistics of it, and then drove myself crazy trying to make this more realistic. did you know they don't really make leg-hold traps with huge spikes anymore? sad but true. in general they don't really work like i needed them to in my fic, so i just said fuck it and gave up.

" 'Is it safe then? For the birds.' Jack rushes out, half-worried Dean will make fun of him for it, but Dean instead pauses for a moment, a thoughtful look crossing his face as he crouches down to examine the trap. The screaming of the fledglings increases in pitch as Dean comes closer."

jack does care about the birds as their own entities. but also relates to them and can't look directly at it. also when the birds don't like dean approaching. funny that

" 'you are not sticking your fingers in there. We’re not ambushing a vamp if your hand looks like it went ten rounds with a blender, and Cas’ll be pissed if any grievous bodily harm happens on my watch.' "

i wanted to at least try and thread the needle with this fic and not make dean a cartoon villain. we're in jack's pov and he's stressed the whole time, but dean is genuinely trying to be helpful here. dean can be nice to jack! he can be fun to be around! the issue is all the times he isn't.

"He balls his hands into fists, lets his nails bite into his skin – it’s not helping, and Jack wishes he could just shake his arms out, but Dean told him that was weird to do in public and he doesn’t know if the forest counts as public"

jack casual self-harm with the nails. like it could be innocuous for another person, but in the context of the show and jack's propensity for it i wrote it as self-harm; get all the emotions out through physical pain. also, the second part this was my attempt to gesture at jack stimming. this isn't the fic, but i again think that's something he would pick up once he lost his grace and had less of a shield in his body.

" 'Why would – why would their mother do that? Why would she build a nest somewhere so dangerous?' "

jack voice: i cannot get angry at cas. let me process by projecting on this bird instead.

"There’s a smile on Dean’s face, Jack knows. He doesn’t look away from the path in front of him to see it, even as he makes the corners of his mouth lift, answering Dean in turn."

again, i didn't want this fic to have cartoon villain dean. dean snaps, and then he tries to apologize and paper over it. the issue is that a.) jack is already constantly walking on eggshells and trying to keep dean calm due to The Incidents, so any display of anger is upsetting and awful and b.) dean doesn't care enough here to actually understand why jack's upset or comfort him. he just tries to make a joke and move on.

"Dean always ends up being right, in the end"

lines inspired by me being mad that the writers bend the world of supernatural to dean's whims.

"like that time when Dean told Cas that there was no way Led Zeppelin would let Beyoncé sample them"

in retrospect, i don't know if this part flows as much? i don't know. it feels a little jokey in comparison to the rest of the fic, but it does serve the important purpose of giving jack an inconsequential "dean being wrong" incident to cling to so it has to stay as a bridge. also again, dean dismissing cas. this whole thing is definitely vaguely inspired by the life skills cas discovering lady gaga section, but in reverse.

"He’s liked them ever since Cas started taking him on walks before Dean and Sam wake up so they can watch the falcons and sparrows swooping while the sky is orange and pink."

cas and jack bonding while the winchesters sleep is so important to me.

"Jack knows a lot about birds, and he knows that those birds knew, about the trap. How could they not? How could they live every day between steel jaws and not know that one day – maybe not now, but soon, that those jaws were going to snap shut, and devour them?"

i love jack projection so much. i love when he can't look at his situation directly and has to displace it, because if he thinks about the fact that one day, any day, he will be killed for being a "monster" his life will be untenable.

"Jack doesn’t know how their mother could do that to them. He knows what Dean said, and he doesn’t think it’s true, but he can’t think of another reason either. She has to love her babies. But if she loves them, why would she let them hatch somewhere dangerous, let them grow up afraid all the time? Jack can’t understand it."

again. jack voice: I CAN'T GET MAD AT CAS. he knows cas has to love him, but if he does why did this happen? why is jack here? also another jack moment here is taking responsibility from dean? if that makes sense? like of course dean will one day kill him. the sky is blue. dean can't change. what could change are the circumstances cas and jack live in, and their physical proximity to dean. but not dean himself. the idea never occurs to jack

"clearly does leave, since Jack didn’t see her. But that’s – that’s selfish of her."

the thing about them not wanting to pay misha collins. is that the situation is so horrible for jack. what if cloth mother kept leaving on week long trips and you were trapped in the dark all alone and scared until she came back

"Jack tries not to dwell on it, when he’s around. He tries to stop thinking about the nest altogether."

jack in this fic tries so hard to prioritize everyone else's feelings -- dean more out of trying to placate him, cas because he loves him and doesn't want to hurt him by being upset. but as a consequence jack has no real space to process or fight back or even say what's bothering him.

"It’s not Jack that scares them. They know he’s going to help."

contrast between how the birds react to dean vs jack. also jack voice. yeah these birds definitely exist in a space of constant terror and panic

"If he’s lucky, he’ll even see the mother return, watch her fuss over her babies as she feeds them insects she’s found. Jack can’t tell if she even notices the difference."

i keep saying this. but god jack can't get mad at cas. he also can't really see the ways cas is trapped too. cas is an adult, jack thinks he could do something if he wanted to, that it has to be thoughtlessness or ignorance that has resulted in this situation, instead of the reality where cas can't extricate himself either. and to be clear, it's not jack's fault that he can't realize this, but it is another tragedy.

"Steel snaps. The peeping stops."

i really struggled with how to end this fic. i knew i wanted to end it on sublimated suicidal jack, and for discomfort to linger, but i had trouble writing it. if i remember correctly i had other versions with more description, but i think cutting it down definitely helped.

[jarofstyles]

Stay Right Here - Just a Touch

It’s been ages since we updated this one I’m so sorry! But I had a part already on Patreon I don’t think I put up here and since I’ve been dealing with something I figured I’d hand it over along with the one shot hopefully in a few hours lol.

Here is the Masterlist for a refresh!

Check out our Patreon for early access and 190+ exclusive writings

Warnings- a/o/b dynamics, alpha Harry, royalty etc

——

Harry had taken that permission and ran with it.

Y/N had been slowly adjusting to calling him Harry in the safety of his chambers, and Harry had taken to clasping their hands together in the privacy of the rides to and from events. Y/N had nearly choked the first time, but she had warmed up to it nicely now.

“Harry..” she warned as they pulled from the curb, keeping her hand hidden in her skirts. “You must wait until we are properly on the road. If people see-“

“I know, I know. You worry too much, darling.” He grabbed her cool, smaller hand, greedy for the touches as they got into the busier part. “I like the color today.” His eyes examined the mint green varnish on her nails. She had told him that the maids do them sometimes after hours in the courtyards, sharing bottles since it was easier that way. He had liked the lavender last week, but the mint green was winning his favor.

“Thank you.” She smiled lightly, looking at their joined hands. It was odd to see. His decked in jewels and scars and hers lithe and small compared to his own. The compliments the prince so freely gave tended catch her off guard a lot of the time. Never had a man been so open and blunt with her about the things he liked. To be fair, she didn’t have a lot of male friends or… whatever this sort of relationship was with the man… but he was by far the most open with her that she had ever experienced.

“It’s only the truth.” His hand brought hers up to his lips to kiss the back of her knuckles, smirking to himself at the tiny shiver she gave him. Y/N had a hard shell to crack, she was terrified in some ways about people seeing their affections and her getting into trouble, but he had helped ease her nerves the more he did it. The privacy was something he cherished, looking forward to retiring to his chambers at night because it meant Y/N would sit with him as they discussed or read books. He hated when he got tired quickly and she would leave once he was settled in bed, wishing he could convince her to crawl under the warm blankets with him and curl into his side as he always wanted. He had many dreams for their connection and, admittedly, never imagined it would be this hard. He usually had people falling at his feet, flaunting their necks and propositioning him to fall into bed. Y/N was the exact opposite. Surprisingly, it was one of the things he liked the most about her.

It wasn’t easy to gain her trust, but it would make the reward so much sweeter. Just like how his heart beat hard in his chest each time she would squeeze their hands together, or he felt her shiver when he brushed his thumb over the back of her own.

Baby steps.

Their connection was undeniable, even for her. She shivered and blushed and found herself gravitating closer towards him every single day, something that baffled her. Her body had a mind of its own, leaning into his touches and having a very hard time letting go when he initiated the touching. Like right now. He had just spent time shopping and Y/N had stayed dutifully by his side, quiet but alert. Taking in their surroundings and making sure she wasn’t too close to his side despite the lack of perception the Prince had for personal space when it came to her. It was up to her to keep it in line.

He had only talked to her, asking her opinion on jewels and colors and fabrics, ignoring a lot of the people there meant to be the experts. She gave her honest one now, knowing now that Harry would much rather get the truth from her than a lie. A sickly green had been something she had vetoed along with a tacky embossed goose pattern that she didn’t think suited him- a rarity considering Prince Harry was the type to make quite literally anything work in his favor. His beauty was something even Y/N found to be intimidating.

“Thank you for coming with me today.” His voice snapped her out of her trance, eyes lifting from their joined hands back up to his eyes. Harry preferred eye contact with her when they were alone. “Shopping can be rather boring when people are just telling you to get everything, that everything looks good just because you’re royalty, you have the money, all of that. A truthful person is hard to come by.”

Even with all the money in the world, the most valuable thing to have is an honest person. Y/N had been nothing but truthful to him and he valued her opinion more than most already. The sweet little thing had her way under his skin without even trying. He’d been going slow and learning with her, doing his best to not spook her. He could scent her arousal at times though he pretended he didn’t. She was someone he wanted to keep around. As much as he wanted to be inside of her, he wanted her to have a clear head and no regrets when he did it.

“Of course.” She replied quietly, squeezing his hand back. “I don’t think it serves a purpose for me to lie. You won’t punish me for inserting my opinion so I don’t mind giving it.” Other staff had been in the past, but Harry didn’t seem like the other royals. That’s not to say she disliked or even resented the king and queen- they didn’t know her. They knew her mother and had been generous enough to keep her healthcare open while she wasn’t working, even if it didn’t cover everything it needed. But the prince? He was kind to her. Caring. On a personal level, he felt connected to her.

“Never. I told you, I chose you to keep around. I’d like for us to be close. No use in trying that if you aren’t comfortable telling me a fabric color is atrocious.” He joked, a tingle lighting up his chest when he saw her lips curl into a small smile.

“It was quite bad, wasn’t it?” She wrinkled her nose, shaking her head at the image of the color back in her head. “Don’t know who could pull off that sort of color. You have the ability to make anything look lovely but… even you, I don’t think couldn’t make it happen.”

The compliments from Y/N weren’t very plentiful and he understood why. She still had a bit of a mental blockage with boundaries that didn’t exist, but Harry didn’t mind. This compliment from her had him worked up, ego stroked and chest puffed. She thought he could make anything look lovely?

“Truly?” He asked. “You think I make things look lovely?” The preening was visible, making Y/N wonder why she hadn’t complimented him much before. The actual happiness on his face was like watching sunbeams melt snow. Of course he got thousands of compliments during his week, but none of them seemed to make his heart sing as much as hers did. Maybe it was the genuine nature, how she almost looked like she hadn’t meant to say it out loud- or maybe it was just her. The rarity of it all.

“Of course.” She replied, cheeks burning. It shouldn’t feel so humiliating to tell the truth, but his gaze was always going to slightly intimidate her. “You’re incredibly handsome. I’m sure you know this, Harry.”

Hearing her say his name and another compliment made him feel like he could burst. “I’m told all the time, sure. But you’re saying it because you mean it and think it. Not just because you think it's the proper thing to do or because you want something.” He replied. “It’s… nice to hear you think highly of me, is all. Sometimes I think all I do is annoy you.”

Y/N realized now that perhaps she had been a bit unknowingly cruel. She hadn’t meant to make him think she didn’t think highly of him at all, surely never meaning to make him think he was annoying. She was blown away by how beautiful he was at times, but it never felt appropriate to share that. He intimidated her even still. Coming to get to know him a bit, it was obvious he really wanted to be her friend, though, and she was curious why with all of the reassurance he had given her why she hadn’t been able to act more accordingly.

“I apologize. Of course I think highly of you. I’m still getting used to the idea of us being friends and more than just your servant but… I never think it appropriate to share those thoughts.” She swallowed nervously, meeting his eyes again. “You are incredibly handsome and kind. You’ve never once annoyed me or made me upset. I like your singing voice when you think I can’t hear, and I like that you treat me as an equal. I apologize again, for making you even think I don’t think the absolute highest of you.”

While she’s had her nerves about breaching those boundaries, it wasn’t ever truly about him as an individual. It had to do with the establishment and the things that could happen if she was caught treating him as an equal. He could do whatever he wanted, but Y/N was supposed to follow a group of strict guidelines. Things Harry said were thrown away but she hadn’t trusted him enough until now. She hasn’t been given a reason to think after all these weeks.

She wasn’t an idiot. She knew Harry was attracted to her.

Why?

That remained to be a mystery as he had been given the entire kingdom and surrounding to choose from, but chose to spend his time with her. There was no time to even sneak out to see other omegas because there were no more hours in the day. It would take her a bit more time to allow that sort of thing to even be broached, though. This pace was good.

[kuromitos]

I had this small idea in my head for awhile now so I just had to share with you guys.

Presenting....

Damian's school friend has a crush on Tim

How it all began

You and Damian are classmates

The typical 'we seat next to each in class and I notice your doodles on your notes' type of friendship.

You both don't have many friends so you hang out a lot together. Almost attached to the hip

So of course you meet his family. [He met yours too but that's not important] thru different visits and them picking him up from school

In order, you have met: Alfred, Bruce Wayne, his pets, Cassandra, Dick, Duke, and Jason

You heard about another brother who Damian has told you is an 'Annoying insomniac' but you never saw him

Until one day

you and Damian are just hanging out in the library after finishing homework and you hear a knock on the door

A guy who looks no older than 18 or 19 stood there saying that dinner is being made and Alfred wanted to know if you were staying or not.

Damian asked for you saying you were and told the older boy to leave them alone. Which he did, not before saying a remark back to him.

You asked who was that person and he replies to you that was his third brother, Tim.

"The insomniac?" "Yeah." "He's...kinda cute" "what? ( ・－・)" "Nothing (///∇///)"

After that day, you start to stay at his house more just to see Tim and talk to him about anything

Even pretend to need his help on homework

You try not to bother him too much but he still help you out from time to time as a break from his work.

Him finding out about the crush

It wasn't hard for him to find out

You weren't exactly subtle about it

To be honest, everyone but Tim kinda knew already but it wasn't there business

But considering you're Damian'sfriend so he considered this his business

At first, he was kinda disgusted. Out of all his brothers, you fall for Tim? TIM?? (゜ロ゜)

Would make snide comments whenever he catches you staring too long

"You have such bad taste"

"I'm pretty sure drake isn't on our history test"

When you go to talk to Tim, he goes to drag you back to his room but yells at Tim to stop harassing you.

Eventually he confront you on it and ask what you like about him anyway

Doesn't matter the reason you give, he still thinks odd for falling for Tim

But you're still his friend. And it's just a harmless school kid crush. It will go away eventually.

Just don't talk to him about it. He doesn't want to hear it.

That's all. Bye for now ( ´∀｀ )b

[marcelinesghost13]

Hello blog,

So I'm not going to be able to write to blogs like I normally do and the reason for that is because I'm in the hospital... More specifically I'm in the emergency room.

So here's what's happened my left arm started hurting almost all the way down to my hand. Then the pain went up my neck and into my chest also causing a bit of a headache. I guess my pulse dropped dramatically down to BPM 35 I'm guessing that's not probably a very good pulse. I then try to walk to Sergeant 9's office ask him if he knew anything about what could be happening to me. Evidently I didn't make it there because I passed out or fainted whatever you want to call it. I guess I was passed out for a minute. I was woken up by Sergeant 9. Plus I had a wicked headache on the left side of my head. It was definitely disoriented and I know a lot of weird shit was happening but I didn't understand what was going on to be honest with you. I know at some point they put me in a wheelchair. And took me all the way to the back or the front somewhere for emergency crews could get a hold of me.

Then the emergency crews showed up they put a bunch of wires on me to check my heart. A lot of different questions were asked I don't remember all of them. I know somebody got angry at some point I think it might be a surgeon but I'm not 100% sure. Just saying to take off my shirt which was a bit hard to do especially since I wear a bra. And then one of the EMTs or firefighters refer to me as she which was really nice. They then loaded me up into the ambulance this was around 3:30 a.m. I then got to the hospital they asked me a bunch of more questions they did a scan in my heart eventually they gave me a room after a couple minutes I think I fell asleep at some point but I don't if I did or didn't.

I text a bunch of people to let them know I'm okay I'm all right that was early in the morning. Everybody talk to me for about maybe an hour. Then everybody stopped talking to me. That was some around 11:00 am. We've been stuck in the hospital for well over 12 hours now and no actual major human contact. Just an occasional nurse that comes in and asked me are you okay and I tell her I'm fine and they bugger off.

I tried watching some TV but it's pretty fucking boring. Trying to talk to a couple other people but nobody's really talking to me right now. I'm really extremely bored... And I'm extremely lonely I totally wish I could talk to somebody right now like actually talk to somebody not text bullshit like hear a voice. A lot of my girlfriends do that they like doing the whole texting thing and I fucking hate texting.

Never been awake for more than 24 hours so every once in a while I'll get flashes of like wanting to go to sleep. Think of passed out a couple times but it's only for short periods.

Unfortunately I'm going to have to be stuck here in the hospital for like a day or two while they monitor my heart. I really don't think anyone's going to visit me I'm going to be pretty much by myself. The whole thing just sucks.

That's something definitely have noticed since I've been on estrogen I don't like being alone like for long periods of time like I actually have to hear like you invoices or have a conversation with somebody. I find that very odd because I was never like that I could go days sometimes weeks without having any form of communication with anybody or have any human contact with anybody. It's very odd I'm going to have to get used to it.

The other thing that happened is I had a little bit of an argument with my spouse and she decided not to show up. Matter of fact actually she blamed me for her not being able to make her foot doctor appointment. And then she asked me about another appointment I told her I don't know because I haven't talked to a doctor. Then she got pissed off at me and told me well that's your fault cuz you're never fucking taking care of yourself. You're the one that's always being unhealthy and you already know that your dad had a bad heart. So basically she gave me a fucking lecture and I'm not really tolerating that bullshit cuz it's like that's the last thing you should be doing with someone ends up in the ER is giving him a lecture and letting him know how shitty of a human being they are and what about my problems that just doesn't really add up. So yeah not talking to her right now kind of pissed off.

Besides that I'm just sitting here like I said before very bored and very alone.

100820241616

[loopy-froots]

Childhood Friends

Brahms Heelshire x afab!Reader

Author: @loopy-froots

Word Count: 3261 (WOW wtf…)

Slight request by @leahromanof : small age gap (Brahms is 26-28 and the reader is 20)

Summary: The Reader grew up very close to the Heelshire family, as their parents were business partners with them. However, after the fire incident, Brahms and the Reader took some space from each other. While the Reader knew Brahms was still alive, they didn’t know under the circumstances he was. When a sudden tragedy strikes their family, the Reader is left with no home. The Heelshire family offer their home with welcoming arms, but much has changed between all of them since they have last seen each other.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, swearing, slasher x reader, smut, virgin/unprotected sex (masc and fem), abusive parents (fem), insecurities (on both parts), slight age gap (6ish years?), a slight size kink (if you squint?), etc.

Author’s Note: I wasn’t too sure what to write for the age gap so I hope this is good enough!!! I also threw in a lot of personal needs I’ve been having, so I hope y’all don’t mind! Feel free to let me know your thoughts!!!

~~~

*2nd Person POV*

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You were finally going to see your beloved childhood friend, Brahms Heelshire, again after close to ten years of separation. You wished this was not under these circumstances, as you never intended to cause your family such turmoil.

“Y/n! Come in, why don’t you?” Mr. Heelshire exclaims as he opens his front door. He must have seen you walk up their driveway. You can see Mrs. Heelshire inside, but she shares a concerning expression. Trying to brush it off, you step inside and am greeted by the warmth of the house. It was a terribly chilly winter day, and the walk there exhausted you.

“Come, dear! Let me get you a cup of tea to warm you up! You look rather frozen!” Mrs. Heelshire snaps out of her funk and laughs al0ng with her husband. Their jovial attitude makes you feel rather welcomed and loved.

“I cannot thank you enough, Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire… I… I’m terribly sorry that this all happened… especially so suddenly…” You look down with embarrassment.

“Nonsense! We’re always happy to have you, Y/n! Our home is yours!” Mr. Heelshire smiles at you, but you get a somewhat urgent vibe from him. You’re not sure how to feel about it, but you figure since they’re being ever so kind you were in no position to question.

“Now, dear… why don’t you tell us exactly what happened… Perhaps we may help with your parents’ situation?” Mrs. Heelshire gently suggests, but you shake your head in disagreement.

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure that’s possible… you see, I recently came out to my parents as non-binary… they’ve never been overly supportive of that kind of stuff, but I knew I couldn’t hide myself any longer…” You explain shamefully.

“Oh my… that is a rather difficult predicament, hm? However, we want you to know that we fully support you… in fact, our own Brahms considers himself genderfluid,” Mrs. Heelshire shares, which honestly makes you feel less alone.

“Really? I… I had no idea… Thank you, but speaking of which… where is Brahms…? Does he still live with you?” You wonder.

“Oh, um… yes… he does, but he’s grown to be rather… timid… so he doesn’t always come out when people are visiting…” Mr. Heelshire explains swiftly, and you try to understand. You don’t fully know what he’s been through, so who are you to judge his social anxieties?

“That’s alright. Well, I just hope he knows how excited I am to see him again…” You confess, causing a surprised reaction from the Heelshire couple.

“Really? Well, that’s certainly wonderful! I’m sure he'll become more open to meeting you after he gets used to you being in the house…” Mrs. Heelshire states with a gentle smile, and you nod your head in agreement.

With that, you are then taken on a tour of the house. You’re shown areas you can and cannot wander to, and you mentally note each location that’s off limits. You’d never want to make the Heelshires uncomfortable, despite how curious you were. They show you to your room, which you immediately recognize as Brahms’ childhood room.

“Oh wow! This looks exactly how I remembered it!” You giggle.

“I’m glad you’re fond of it still, as Brahms insisted you take his room for your own… comfort…” Mr. Heelshire shares, but something tells you he’s not entirely being honest. However, you ignore the feeling bubbling up in your stomach.

“Well, feel free to unpack your things dear. As we mentioned before, we are planning on going on a trip within the next few days. So it will be just you and Brahms for a while…” Mrs. Heelshire reminds you, and you shiver slightly for some reason.

“Oh, yes… Well, I hope the two of you enjoy it!” You politely respond.

~~~

“Goodbye, dear! And remember, follow the rules and you’ll get no trouble from our dear Brahms!” The Heelshires bid you farewell and leave in their cab. Closing the door, you sigh in relief.

“Alright, follow the rules… I can do that… it’s the least I can do since they were so kind as to let me stay for a while…” You motivate yourself.

“Y/n…” A sudden familiar, childlike voice echoes through the house. You looked around to see who it came from, but you saw no one. It had to be Brahms, right? Who else could it have been, but where was he?

“B-Brahms?” You sheepishly call out. You hear no answer and suddenly feel quite stupid. Maybe you just heard the shifting of the house or imagined someone was calling your name?

“Alright, focus… first things first, making some lunch… hopefully he’ll come down to eat with me…?” You hope. You could’ve sworn you heard another childish giggle somewhere, but you try to shake the skittish feeling building up. You quickly make whatever you feel like for lunch, desperate to finish so that you can call Brahms down to eat.

“Um, Brahms? I… lunch is done… if you want some?” You yell throughout the house, but you hear no answer. Finally feeling defeat, you turn back to the kitchen and notice that one of the plates of food has disappeared.

“How did he get to it without me noticing?” You ask out loud. Every instinct within you tells you that something was wrong, but you tried your best to give the man some time to adjust to the new living situation.

“Y/n…?” In the middle of eating, you hear a now more adult version of the voice you heard earlier. You drop your fork in surprise and frantically look around for the source. You then see a tall and scruffy looking man standing at the end of the dining room. He was holding the plate that is now empty, and you figure that must be Brahms. He was very odd looking, in all honesty. He wore a porcelain mask that resembles the type of little dollies you used to keep as a kid.

“Oh, um… h-hello, Brahms…?” You try to be friendly towards him, despite the creepy feeling you got from him already. However, him not answering causes the suspicion to form again.

“Um… did you enjoy the meal I made for you?” You try to spark a conversation, but Brahms nonverbally nods in response.

“That’s good! I’m… glad…” You smile awkwardly at him, but his masked face remains expressionless. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, and Brahms notices the tense state you’re in. He begins to step closer to you, and sets his plate on the table. Sweating profusely, you wonder what he’s doing. He steps closer and closer to you until he’s directly in front of you. While you sit, he towers over you. You’d never admit it, but he’s very intimidating. However, you try your best to be polite.

“Is… everything alright, Brahms?” You ask innocently. He just stares at you, though, never saying a word. When you were about to get up and try to walk away, he grabs your arm and pulls you into him.

“B-Brahms…?!” You exclaim as he squeezes you in his broad arms. He’s rather warm, but trembling. Your heart relaxes when you realize he only wanted a hug.

“Y/n… nice to see you again…” He finally peeps out. Your cheeks heat up, but you lean into the embrace. The two of you just hold onto each other for a few moments, enjoying each other’s presence.

“Good to see you, too! I was worried you were upset with me for coming back after such a long time…” You try to pull away and look him in the eyes, but his grip keeps you there.

“Mm, no… not upset… lonely…” He breathes into your ear, sending a chill down your back. He was… lonely? That makes you feel bad… really bad… how could you leave him like you did after the incident?! It wasn’t completely your fault, as you parents were the main reason you stayed away. They told you what a dangerous person Brahms was, and they forbid you from being influenced by him in any way.

Additionally, your parents never liked how fond the two of you seemed towards each other, despite the slight age difference you had. Brahms was only six years older, and to you it didn’t matter for terms of friendship. However, your parents saw the attraction Brahms had towards you right away. As children, it only developed into a little crush, but the older the two of you got the more obvious it became, to the adults at least. You seemed quite oblivious to his attempts to woo you, as you had just thought he was being friendly.

“I…I’m sorry, Brahms… I should’ve… I wish I’d have… I’m sorry…” Tear well in your eyes as you look down from his gaze. Your focus then shifts to the ever growing bulge in his pants that you hadn’t noticed before.

“It’s alright… happy you’re here now…” Brahms strokes your hair with his free hand, and he leans into you. You feel him stroke your neck with his nose, seemingly trying to get a reaction out of you. Completely frozen, you felt unsure of what to do. All of the sudden, your head’s ideas clicked and made you realize the years of yearning he’d been doing for you.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t still have feelings for the boy you grew up with. You always admired how protective he was of you. You never admitted your affection towards him, though, as you thought he might react negatively. To you, the age difference acted as a barrier, but to him, it seemed he didn’t mind in the slightest. All he’s ever known was his love for you, despite the age gap. However, is this still the same boy as before? You probably barely knew him anymore. Then why were you getting so flustered over this simple interaction?

“Brahms?” You look back into his eyes with a curious glint. What was he planning with you?

“Hm?” He nonchalantly answers.

“Are you…?” You start, but then feel too embarrassed to finish.

“Yes,” He agrees without needing you to explain. You feel him jerk his hips into your stomach softly, desperate to get some friction between the two of you. As intoxicating as he was being, you still felt unsure of your stance with him.

“I’m not sure I want to… I mean, this is so soon… don’t you think?” You try to reason mainly with yourself to try and stop this from happening. With that, Brahms stops and pulls away from you with a pout.

“No?” He questions with sweet eyes.

“I… yes…?” You try to stand your ground with yourself again, but it’s no use. Brahms’ heartfelt pleading turns you to putty in his hands.

“Please?” He begs. With that, you finally agree, and he’s onto you. Groping all up and down your sides, front, and back, he feels every inch of your body as if he’s desperate to find something in you.

“Brahms… wait…?” You stop him again, realizing you hadn’t seen his actual face yet. You politely ask him to remove his mask, but he visibly slumps.

“Why…? You… don’t want to see me…” Brahms insecurely explains, but you shake your head.

“I do! Please…?” You whine as he continues to feel up your back. Brahms hesitates slightly, then agrees. With that, he slowly removes the porcelain from himself. This leaves his bare, burnt, and uncertain face into your view. You’re unsure of what to say at first, as your feelings are conflicted. However, you quickly decide to go with what your heart felt.

“You’re so handsome, Brahms…” You confess with a sheepish smile. He doesn’t respond, though, almost as if he’s debating what to say as well.

“Mm!” You moan through a sudden kiss he placed on your lips, making Brahms smile to himself in the kiss. He loved the way you reacted to his touch. He quickly realized you were feeling the same towards him, and that gave him the confidence to continue. You rapidly grew a certain heat in your pelvic area, but the feeling was still unfamiliar to you. Only on the rare occasion did you allow yourself the pleasure, but you felt guilty for it every time.

“Slut… whore… useless daughter…” Your parents’ past words radiate in your head, and a panic washes over your body. Brahms senses your inner conflict again, and stops once more.

“Y/n…?” He gently asks to see if you’re alright. Tears well up in your eyes as the guilt of disappointing your parents consumes you.

“I’m sorry, I just… my mom and dad would be so upset… I just feel so… lost…” You admit, and Brahms wipes your cheeks with his calloused hands.

“Mm, screw them…” He chuckles darkly.

“But…” You try to argue, but he shushes you instead.

“They’ve never been good to you, Y/n…” Brahms shares, and it confuses you at first. They’ve always given you food, shelter, and anything else a child would need.

“But they… they mean well…” You try to reason it out, but he still disagrees.

“I’ve been watching, listening to how they treat you your whole life, Y/n… the way they scream at you, gaslight you, disappoint you… that’s not love… that’s abuse…” Brahms whispers with a broken heart for you. The pain of realization hits you, but you try to muffle your cries with your hands over your mouth.

“I’m so sorry… I know how hard it is… but I… I want to love you… really love you…” He kisses the top of your head sweetly. His words fill your heart with hope that you might not be miserable the rest of your life.

“Really…? I mean, I would love that… but I don’t want to force you into anything…” You self doubt yourself.

“Absolutely. I mean, hell… why do you think I was doing all of this?” Brahms wonders, and you suppose he’s right.

“Yeah, true… I’m sorry, I just feel bad… but thank you, I’d love to… y’know…?” You admit with a shy grin, which he immediately returns.

“Good,” He smirks and kisses you again. This time, the kiss was much more desperate for the sweet result. Brahms shows no mercy for you this time as he begins biting your lips. Your little gasps invoke a strong sense of pride within him. He was making you feel this way, and he alone would make you feel good.

“Hm,” His deep voice rumbles in his chest. Your eyes flutter open and shut, unsure of how to go about this situation. Squirming around awkwardly, you then feel Brahms grab your waist as he lifts you up and onto the table.

“Ah! Brahms...?!” You yelp in surprise.

“Take off your shirt, Y/n.” He demands, already sliding his hands underneath. You timidly follow his instructions, removing your shirt and bra from your body. Brahms looks down from your face and onto your breasts. He adored them, so he ran his hands over them as he gave each nipple a cheeky pinch.

“Oh, Brahms…” Your eyes close in bliss, but he snaps your attention back to his eyes.

“Look at me,” He suggests sternly.

“O-okay…” You do as he wishes and stare deep into his icy eyes. He’s tender and gentle, but he still makes you feel so small next to him.

“You’re so pretty, Y/n… I’ve always loved you…” Brahms brushes a stray lock of hair out of your face, giving him a better view at your beauty.

“I have loved you for the longest time, too, Brahms… I just never knew how to tell you…” You try your best to express your feelings, but your past experience with doing so has never been easy for you. Each emotion you shared ended in an argument with your parents.

“I’m so glad… please…” Brahms pleads, leaning his forehead against yours. He didn’t have to finish for you to understand what he wanted.

“C’mere…” Your sudden burst of trust hits the two of you like a train. Brahms roughly attacks your neck with his lips and teeth, nipping at all your sensitive areas. Exploring each and every inch, he scopes out which areas you like best.

“Mm, Y/n…” He whimpers, rubbing his needy cock against your body. You had neglected it for far too long, and you wanted to give it some love too.

Lowering your hand down to his member, you stroke him through his pants. Pre-cum leaks from his tip and soaks through his underwear slightly. His moans fill your ears with sweet misery. The lack of being inside of you was killing him, but he wanted to take things slow for you.

“Ah, Y/n…! Please! I’ll be a good boy!” He begs you to allow him entrance, and you agree. Instantaneously, he pulls his clothes off and prepares his painfully hard cock to slide into you.

“Oh! You feel… so tight…!” He didn’t tell you, but this was his first time as well. The first feeling of being inside of someone, especially when that someone is you, was the best feeling he’s ever felt. He couldn’t help himself but pump in and out of you. He tried his best to go slow, but his selfish excitement got the better of him. However, you were far from upset by this.

“Ah! D-don’t… stop…!” You plead with him, and he obliges. Slapping his body into yours in a rhythmic motion causes you to quickly feel that coil in your stomach tighten around him.

“F-fuck…! You’re gonna make me…!” As quickly as it started, your love making ended. The two of you came together simultaneously, and everything felt perfect to you. However, Brahms felt a wave of guilt.

“I… I’m sorry… I wish I had lasted longer… and I shouldn’t have pressured you into this…” He goes on and on about all the things he could’ve done better, but you then stop him with a chaste peck on his lips.

“You were perfect. Thank you,” You lovingly look into his eyes. He searches for any sort of regret, but when he finds none he settles into your arms.

~~~

MY REQUESTS FOR DRAWING AND WRITING ARE STILL OPEN!! FEEL FREE TO SEND AN ASK/MESSAGE WITH YOUR IDEA!!

[rotshop]

GONNA B HONEST W/ YOU ,,,,,, i rlly dont like how this is written lmao ,,,, but also im sleepy tired so i get a pass dhmu /j

[ TW ; gore, some violence, death ]

notes ; based offa DIS ,,, u might wanna read it for some context n shit ,,, lawl ,,,

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Between the two of you, it's hard to tell who's suffocating more. It's hard to tell if its you, with the little pants that pass by your teeth in shaky steps, hitching whenever they're cut down when you have to stop to cough up blood. It should be you, you who has your guts spilled out onto the floor and your blood staining all the concrete underneath the both of you. It has to be you, who's leaning heavy against 2b's chest and drawing unfocused circles onto his shoulder. It had to be you, you just had to go inside by yourself, you just had to be slow on the draw and nearly be ripped clean in two. It just had to go wrong with just you.

Even with all that in mind, he feels like there's nothing in him. There's no lungs to draw in breaths, no mind with clear thoughts on what to do and how to stop this once more, and certainly no heart beating steadily. In those places was instead viscera, a mangled, nameless mess of pink and red weighing him. There was some clump of pink that drew in some shaky puffs, barely reaching him as he choked on his own pride. There was nothing but tangled strings and weights in his head, making his skull pound as something in the back of his mind screamed to do something. There was a heavy weight behind his ribs that stayed put, a finality hanging over his shoulder as it always would.

He doesn't want to cry. He shouldn't be, you're the one with your innards exposed to the eyes of any and all and your face buried in the crook of his neck, it should be you who's crying in pain. He shouldn't be crying, he shouldn't be shedding tears when there's not a single bleeding wound on his skin. He shouldn't be and yet they're tight in his throat, threatening to tumble past his lips and create an embarrassment of himself. A shift brings him back from his thoughts, turning his attention back to you.

There's a little stutter in your movements, a quick pause as your vision momentarily fails you and your breath is wheezed past your lips. A quick, aimless grasp at your innards to have them follow your movements, rather than stay partially stuck to the floor, tugged further from your soon-to-be-cadaver as you readjust. You're just pulling yourself ever closer to him, little to no space left between the two of you as you support yourself on his figure. He can't help the way his own movements choke and pause as he moves his arms to wrap around you. He can't help the way he takes a sharp, shaking inhale as the skin of his arm ghosts over the start of your gash.

He remembers the first time he'd been with you in your 'final' moments. He remembers how the line had fallen dead on your side and the others all fell into a silence. They'd only told him later on why, they 'didn't want to scare him off.' He was still a little upset about it, even now. He had always been stubborn like that, it was a fact of him that you regarded with warm laughter and endearing teases.

He remembers the pure terror that'd gripped him as he came across you, choked squeaks and hisses leaving your lips as you writhed. The debris around you and the tangle of pipes and bars you'd been impaled on told the story he never bothered to ask, the one he'd never truly questioned you on even to this day. Something about the way you'd glanced at him in that moment never left him. Maybe it was how the pure agony you'd been in moments before shifted to confusion on his being there, shifted into something gentler yet still as forlorn and miserable, either way it haunted him endlessly. He remembers how you were such polar opposites after he'd managed to tear himself from his place.

The clatter of his goggles against the ground fell on deaf ears when he'd rushed for you. He barely even noticed how quick his breath was speeding up, he was far too focused on helping you, on getting you back to base so he could fix this. It'd taken your weak swipes at him and breathless pleads to just stop to snap him back, he didn't want to listen to you. He wanted to tear you from that metal and drag you back to base, he wanted to set you down and get to work, and then he wanted to grab you by the collar and ask just what was going through your head. He wanted to be mad, he wanted to argue and to let go of all the tension wracking him and making his hands shake. It was tearing him limb from limb in the worst way possible, in the one way he never wanted to feel.

He was afraid. Honest to god terrified from the moment his gaze fell on your bleeding-out form. It shook him to his core in a way he hadn't felt in forever, breaking past the facade he'd worked so hard to build in an utterly humiliating manner. He hated the way he had to clench his hands and bite his tongue as he stared down at you, his weak attempt at keeping his tears back that hung by a thin string. He hated how he fell to his knees, coming face to face with you as you looked back at him.

Your eyes were still soft with accepting misery in the moment, a weak smile finding it's way onto your lips as you reached for him. You'd struggled, finding it difficult to meet his face when the world was spinning so dizzyingly. He'd hesitated, hand shaking as it found your wrist, him leaning into your touch with an unsteady breath. If the tears weren't already hanging behind his eyes, they would've burst up with a vengeance when you started brushing your thumb over the bandages on his face.

He couldn't remember how exactly you'd spoken, how you'd been able to between the gurgle of blood in your throat and the copper piercing you, but you had. It was a request ; a final wish of sorts he didn't want to deny you. You could've asked for anything in the moment and he would've done it for you, he would tear through whoever and whatever he had to for you. He would rend flesh and ruin relationships and scar the world if he had to in that very moment. He'd never been an especially generous type, he could extend a certain amount of kindness to others but there was a limit to his softness. Yet, you managed to turn him so, managed to make him give an excuse of 'it wouldn't hurt,' or 'it's just a one time thing,' when it came to you.

Even so, you'd made such a simple request. One he would've asked you himself in other circumstances if he weren't so stubborn with what little ego he clung to. One he would've been happy to hear from you in the comfort of home and privacy. Even so, he'd nodded when you asked. Even so, he'd ignored how his own hands shook as he held his over yours gently.

It was an odd feeling, your blood seeping into his mouth, iron heavy on his tongue as his lips met yours. The taste would've been revolting under any other circumstances, making him recoil and pull away with a note to never repeat the cause. Yet, he didn't. He kept his lips against yours gently, experience slipping him in the thick anxiety of the moment. Even then, reluctance followed when he pulled away.

Content lost its footing when you'd given him once last smile, then it fell with a crash when your gaze grew glassy and unfocused. He'd never forget the panic that gripped him so tightly, enough of a disturbance to slip past his guard and make the tears start to fall. He didn't even notice them in the moment, all he saw was your corpse and the end of the compassion and emotion you'd helped him regain over time. He never asked the others if they heard him then, if they heard him plead with you, if they heard the sobs and begs he never would've given if it weren't you. He's glad they never brought it up, it was just a touch easier to forget how he'd completely broken down for the first time in a long time when you'd fallen still.

He was glad you weren't able to hear them. He's sure you would've made some dumb comment about it as you stood before him, alive and well as though nothing happened. He's sure you would've smiled and hummed a question he wouldn't answer, he's sure he would've reacted all the same. He's sure he still would have grabbed you by the collar and shoved you back against the wall, he's sure he would've still hissed at you to explain yourself, ignoring the desperation laced in his voice as his eyes began to burn again. You had an effect on him, one he wouldn't ever admit to even if you poked and prodded at it time and time again by simple virtue of you being yourself.

You were a surprisingly good kisser for someone on the brink of death once more, but you were better at it when you could count how many of him there were.

He's not sure what pulls him back as he looks down at you again, noting your still form blankly. He's not sure why he pauses for a few long moments, simply keeping his arms around you as your body grows colder and colder. He's not sure why he tucks hair behind your ear and lets his hand linger, warm by contrast against you. He's not sure when he pulls himself up off the floor, careful of your innards as he pulls you up with him.

He is however sure he feels a hell of a lot better when you sit up from your previous place on the table, hand trailing over the stitches that line your stomach and chest as you give a little hum of approval. He's sure he's smiling a little at that simple bit of praise. He's sure you'd make a comment about it if you noticed.

"Happy to see me, huh?"

He's happy to be right.

[everlesslahote1]

‘So Your like Harry Potter?’ (Paul Lahote) -Request

Hello! Can I make a request? Something like Paul's imprinting is a witch and never told him because she was afraid the pack would hate her like they hate vampires? Happy new year and feel free to not write this one If you don't feel comfortable! Thank you ^^

-I’ll try, Thank you❤.

I hope you like it.

Paul Lahote x Fem!Reader 

(warning: none)

Y/E/C = Your eye color

Enjoy!

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“We could watch some movies” Y/N called out as she hung upside down in Emily’s living room while the rest of the pack were either on the floor or in chairs.

It was a Sunday and everything was clear in the woods, not a leech other than the normal one’s so Sam gave the pack a off day from patrol.

With only one problem... they were bored.

Jacob was with Nessi while Sam and Emily went to visit some of Emily’s family across town.

“Nah” she heard most of them mumble from their places around the room.

“I’m tired of movies” Jared said as he laid his head on Embry’s shoulder making him push it off while everyone agreed with him.

Y/N flipped the right way up now running out of ideas and looked at her boyfriend who was at the other end of the couch dosing off.

“Paul...” she whined and put her head back.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes to look at her beady y/e/c one’s, he smiled a little seeing the fake stress she was under before leaning on his hand.

He only smiled because this is the longest he ever saw his small rambunctious imprint sit still, ever.

No matter if it was her climbing the stair rail...she was ANYWAYS moving.

Its like she had around the clock jitters.

Of course Paul quickly adapted to his lovers personality because if he was being honest, it only made the love he had for her stronger.

Though he couldn’t argue with the fact that she tired the 6′8 foot wolf out on most times.

She wasn’t like Emily or Kim, she was the smallest other then Claire and she always wanted to fight with the boys. 

Y/N was known for getting a good laugh out of annoying the pack and they couldn’t do anything about it for two simple reasons.

One, because of the rule “no wolf may harm the imprintee of a fellow pack member” stand’s tall and Two, Paul would kill them dead if they so much as leave a scratch on Y/N.

Seeing she wasn’t getting anywhere with her imprinter she groaned loudly which caught Quil by surprise making him fall out the chair he was in.

Everyone looked up with wide eyes as Quil slowly got up rubbing his hind quarters and glaring at the small girl.

“Jeez Y/N, I think you broke Quil” Jared said chuckling making Quil throw the closest pillow he could grab at him.

Y/N rolled her eyes and stood up making her way to the back yard.

“Where smalls going?” she heard one of them ask on her way out.

Y/N plopped down in grass and stared at the sky trying to think of anything to do a this point.

She sat up and looked behind her to see if any of the boys were on their way out but saw the coast was clear.

She took a deep breath before remembering the words to one of the first spells her late mother taught her when she was a child.

“crescere” She said making a rose start to grow out of the spot of ground she was next to.

Y/N mother was a coven leader to witches in the south, she was kind, fair, loving, everything a leader was but she was a mother first.

When Y/N mother was pregnant with her she fought hard to keep peace with the wolves and vampires in the area they lived in.

Peace was a common factor between the three supernatural species.

When Y/N was six years old that all soon changed when the vampires wanted all of the land and the witches and wolves refused to give up what was theirs.

Not much longer the red eyed monster’s forced a attacked on the wolves when they least expected it.

Killing them all in a blink of an eye.

Y/N’s mother knew her coven was next on the leeches list but refused to bow, Y/N would say that her mother’s pride costed her a lot but if it didn’t she wouldn’t have everything with Paul.

As the vampires moved in on the witches, killing every witch they could get their hands on but not before Y/N’s mother put a cloaking on her so she could make her escape.

Six year old Y/N ran fast and hard from her home land as she heard her mother’s screams for mercy.

She soon found her self in Minnesota where she was raised in a foster home, it was there when she stopped using her magic.

 When Y/N was 17 she ran away from her abusive foster home and made a 23 year old friend by the name, Avery Carson who was on vacation to the small city.

Avery soon had to go back to La Push with her family and didn’t want leave Y/N behind, the 17 year old cried and begged the girl to take her with her and even explained why she couldn’t stay.

Y/N knew that if she didn’t leave then and there she would be found and forced back into her foster home only to be beaten and spat at again.

She didn’t want to go back to that horrible place, ever. 

Avery gave in and flew back to La Push with the soon to be legal girl on her side, she even took it as far to put her in school on the rez.

It was then she met and was imprinted on by the well known hot headed wolf, Paul Lahote.

People told the girl Paul was no good for her pure soul and let to her ‘simple crush’ go, not knowing that she found her soulmate.

Y/N thought Paul was over looking her but in all honesty the large boy was just scared to approach the small figured girl.

She would sit in the room that Avery gave her so she would have a place to stay just thinking about the tan boy.

How at lunch he would stare then after she would look back or try to hold eye contact he would quickly look back to his friends and act like he wasn’t paying attention.

After awhile the pack took notice to the odd silence their friend was giving then soon grew tired of Paul always thinking about the new girl on patrols but not acting on it.

So his bestfriend Jared and pack brother Quil gave him the push he needed to at least hold a conversation with Y/N, literally.

As Y/N was walking past the group of boys Jared and Quil pushed Paul into her, just as she was about to fall back on her butt Paul grabbed a hold of her belt loops pulling his warm body to hers.

It was then they became friends and later became something more.

Eight months into knowing Paul and his group of friends that everyone thought was a ‘gang’, he told her what he really was and what made him go into shock the young girl simply replied with....

‘I kinda figured’ 

Now a year later she was like the littlest wolf and a little sister to the pack but she never told anyone of her powers.

Not even Emily, Kim Or Avery.

She repeated her act of making the roses grow out the ground before she heard Embry’s voice speak.

“OH MY GOD!” he shouted as he ran back in the house yelling for Paul.

Y/n shot up off her spot in the grass and tried to catch the boy but it was no uses, his wolf speed was much greater then her little legs.

He was already in front of a slightly panicked Paul trying to explain what he saw his pack sister do with her bear hands.

“S-she just said it a-and i-it came up and- SHE’S A DAMN WITCH!” he said stumbling over his words.

“Okay Embry do it with me, deep breath in” Quil said taking a deep breath which Embry followed and then they both let it out.

“now what the hell happened-”

“she-”

“SLOWLY!” everyone shouted at him.

Y/N just laid her forehead on the door frame as she listened to one of her bestfriends freak out bout what she did.

“-and I ran in here” Embry said finishing and turn his head to Y/n who smiled nervously and waved at the boys.

Paul looked at Y/N as she started to turn red in the face, she knew not to lie about anything because she couldn’t keep up with lies and soon get caught in them.

Plus she knew Paul would know when she’s lying because he knew HER like the back of his hand.

“come” Paul said to his imprint.

Paul wasn’t mad or anything he is however disappointed his little ball of energy didn’t tell him about her powers sooner.

Y/N slowly made her way over to Paul so tear brimmed her eye’s, she was scared.

Scared of what her only reason of living would say, she couldn’t live without him or bare the thought of him hating her because she wasn’t fully human. 

“Look at me mama” Paul said as he saw a tear slip from her eye.

She tilted her head back to look at the tall boy in front of her and she saw no change in the way he looked at her.

Y/N thought he would look at her in pure disgust or anything of that nature but he didn’t, he still looked at the small girl with love in his eye’s.

“This true?”

“yes... b-but I didn’t want you guys to h-hate me l-like the leeches so I hid it and now-”

“woah woah woah” Quil said waving his hands to slow his little friend and reminding her to breathe.

“that’s what your scared of? that we’ll hate you because your not human?” Jared asked.

She nodded trying to stop the tears from coming but they wouldn’t stop.

“we don’t hate you smalls ,we never would” Embry said said with a little small to calm the girl.

“We love you” Paul said making her put her head down. 

He grabbed her chin gently making her look back up at him and planted a small kiss on her lips.

“I love you Y/n” he said.

The young girl looked from her lover to her friends and took a deep breath as she wiped her face.

“okay just so we’re clear you do magic.... So your like Harry Potter?” Jared said making the group laugh.

“umm, I- well, not quite buddy” she smiled and wiped her wet face.

“Group hug!” Embry and Quil yelled as everybody closed in on her and Paul.

They all hugged for a minute before pulling away.

Bonus

“can we see a little something?” Embry asked plopping down on the couch as Paul wrapped his arms around Y/N.

Y/N smirked and with a wave of her hand a pillow hit Jared dead in the face making him look at her and a hurt look.

“Hey!-”

She chucked another pillow at his face before he could say anything else and leaned on Paul as she laughed.

“that’s my girl” Paul said, smiling in her ear making chills go up her spine.

Jared got up and pretended to storm towards Y/N making her squeal and hide behind her lover.

“That’s not fair, you can’t hide behind Paul!” Jared said laughing.

“who says” Paul said.

“we do!”

“who is we, I don’t speak French” Embry said.

“Paul would let Y/N get away with murder because she’s small” Quil said shaking his head as everyone laughed.

Paul just smiled and sat down, pulling Y/n into his lap and kissing her lips sweetly.

“I Love you little witch” He smiled.

“I Love you Wolfie” she giggled.

“OH MY GOD!”

“ugh, gross”

“yeah just do the do with clothes on will ya”

-

-

-

-

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Omg do you have more cute hcs with the lov and class1a/1b

I dont care how long or short it is, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE READING THEM 💕💕💕💕💖 😊😊

Theyre so comforting <333

YES I HAVE A BUNCH. COME TAKE IT ALL.

Tomura is an expert in video games, right? Well, he's currently working from afar with Hatsume and Melissa to create a VR system to help the kids at UA train.

Everything because the first thing he did when meeting Nezu was telling him the UA system sucked.

No more public exposure, no more simple barriers keeping away the villains from the kids, no more pushing them to dangerous places with no proper supervision.

The new job of the League when it comes to working is the UA is keeping the place as safe as possible and helping the kids recover from the trauma of the war.

Dabi doesn't like working directly with the kids, so his job consist on patrolling around the UA. In case a crisis is reported, he's the first at the place and his job is to keep the crisis on minimum 'til the teachers arrive.

The funniest part is the type of crisis he has solved so far. They include:

Helping people with their crushes because they tried to confess and caused an accident. (Dabi has the fun of his life with it, being honest).

Accidents in the kitchen. (No much he can do except using Shoto as a way of taking down the flames).

Stupid fights (He is banned from helping in those since he cheered for Shoto when he was fistfighting Iida for saying something to Midoriya).

And his favorite: keeping Mineta at bay. Dabi is not the type of gentleman that defends women constantly, because he just doesn't care about helping anyone. But Mineta is a type of gross he would have incinerate in the streets if he was a man and not a kid. So instead, he just walks from a safe distance and keeps scaring the kid when he's about to annoy one of the girls.

Tomura always find Dabi is the halls complaining about the no smoking rule

They make fun of each other a little until they realize they should be working and there are kids staring at them.

Class 1-A talks about Dabi like the older brother who was in jail.

Oh, but Dabi told me...

They are actually well informed about a bunch of stuff and they know how to take care of street criminals better now.

Ah, but they're also the ones who check if he is not drinking too much, if he's having proper rest, if his burns and staples are taken care of, if he's not too anxious or depressed, if hes' taking his meds...

If he's not following one of those, they call Natsuo. Oh man, Natsuo has become the emergency contact of half the League somehow. Maybe because he has a golden heart or maybe because they all are scared of Fuyumi by some weird reason.

Shoto is the other emergency contact when it comes to Dabi, hmmm, but sometimes he just follows Dabi bad example and well.

Dabi is the anti-Santa. He's gonna give you that one gift you wanted but everyone said no because it's dangerous.

"Dabi, I'm trying to make a safer space for the kids" , "Tomura, I'm trying to make them relax".

After getting fired twice by Aizawa, Dabi is finally behaving.

This has nothing to do with the fact that he's finally dating Tomura tho.

WHICH TAKE US TO: SPINNER, THE BROTHER WHO ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES HIS RESPONSIBILITIES.

Spinner works in the same thing as Dabi, but he's the reliable one.

Getting Uraraka down when she starts floating on her sleep, calming people down when they're having anxiety attacks, noting when someone is having a bad day and requesting the teachers to let the person rest...

Spinner is the one actually helping them with their ptsd. He makes everything so easy and pleasant. It's like they're just kids taking classes and having fun.

Besides, class 1-B knows he is amazing at cuddling and people love his hugs. Just by seeing Spinner, they cheer up.

He and Shinso are responsible for the purple hair tendency among the kids of General Studies. Their heroes.

He's also the one who helps the kids with their training sessions when they need a partner but there's no one else to help them.

He became one of the official bus drivers of the school after taking some lessons and requesting a license.

He sings with them while they travel, he always has snacks in case someone is hungry and he has pills in case someone is motion sick. Well, a bunch of pills since Dabi is always motion sick.

He had a crush on Tomura but he realized it was more platonic than anything.

Now now, Tomura and Spinner have matching gamer tattoos that said Player #1 and Player #2. Dumbasses in action.

If Dabi is the problematic uncle and Spinner is the responsible uncle...

That leave us with: Compress the artistic dad and Kurogiri the dad who's always working far away but you can totally rely on.

THE VIDEO CALLS WITH KUROGIRI AND COMPRESS ARE SO CUTE.

101 Flirting with Compress.

All the kids in all courses have a personalized mask. Compress is addicted to creating them.

His beautiful, mischievous kids that once, trying to distract him, stole his prosthesis and kept it going around the school from room to room.

Turns out it was a surprise party, but man if it was fun because Compress pretended the whole time he was a pirate looking for his long buried treasure.

HE GOT A PARROT AND HE NAMED HIM RED BEAK.

Bakugo almost exploded the whole place after hearing such a ridiculous name.

Well, Red Beak loves making fun of Bakugo, repeating everything he says.

RED BEAK AND KIRISHIMA ARE BESTIES. YES YES.

The Bakusquad would kill for Red Beak.

Sero is teaching him Spanish, Mina is teaching him to dance, Denki is teaching him bad jokes and Jirou is teaching him to sing.

Tokoyami is the official protector of Red Beak. Koda is the translator.

On the other hand, Kurogiri always gives them some honey and other things when he visits the school.

He congratulates them on their achievements, he hears them for hours talking about their adventures and he is the old friend you call when it's 3am, you're feeling bad but you don't want to worry no one else.

If you want to solve a problem, call Kurogiri. He's gonna give you the clues but let you solve it yourself.

The award for the dad with more patience goes to: KUROGIRI.

If you really really need to run away from some hours, he can use his quirk to rescue you and he would prepare some tea for you, wrap you in a soft sweater and walk with you through his yard. You can pick flowers or fruit with him until you calm down. Or you can watch old movies with him. Or bake. Being with him is like floating around in the sky, no worries, just clouds and stars and soft noises and lights.

The school always knows when it happens and they are okay with it. Mostly. Just don't do it too much.

Toga is another good option if you need to talk but you don't know with who.

She's actually a great listener and an expert on making things look less stressing than they are. You see, she pays attention at your triggers and moods and if she sees something is bothering the students, she finds a way to distract them immediately, while letting the teachers deal with the problem.

Ah, the queen of gossip.

If you want to know something about someone you need to pay the prize, tho. And she won't even tell you if she considers the secret must be guarded 'til the grave.

She's the one who takes the messages to the parents because she's fast, can hide at plain sight and doesn't put them in danger.

You never know where Toga is. She someone studies like the rest of them, but she's like, selected to secret missions. She has a lot of info but they all trust her somehow.

Maybe is the fact that she would kill and take a stab for you. And that she would never put Deku or Ochaco in danger. Or her family.

She's also Mineta's biggest nightmare.

Try sexualizing the girl and win a terrifying week, courtesy of Toga Himiko.

She won't let you sleep, she won't let you eat, you're gonna wish you were never born. She can make you feel as sexualized, observed and stalked as you make the girls feel. Oh, she's gonna show you exactly how it feels to be a girl.

Also don't sexualize the boys around her either. Stabby queen is not gentle to those who are not gentle with her friends. Period.

Friendly reminder: 0 stabbing accidents since she started studying at UA.

BECAUSE THEY GAVE HER A RUBBER KNIFE.

And finally, the Tomura headcanons.

He's always falling asleep on odd places. The kids have a new name called "let's put a blanket on Tomura".

And then they call Dabi or Spinner to take him somewhere more comfortable.

He's working so hard. He's really working so hard on redeeming himself, even when everyone has already forgiven him. But he has this fear of being a failure or being too much...

The kids are also well trained on how to help him through his anxiety or panic attacks. Even more, some of them have always a pair of gloves in them just in case.

Momo is more than happy to make him more.

It's kinda sad how much he's suffering even now. That's way they all do their best to let him know his doing great.

Kisses in the cheek, compliments on how he's looking, new products to his hair and skin, playing the games he recommends, telling how badass he is when he trains them...

Somehow being around Tomura has help them realize how important is communicating stuff. They all are way healthier now.

Tomura is just... So sincere. He's been instructed to share his thoughts, because he had a problem before with communicating properly. That means he used to forget saying certain information because it was obvious to him, but not to others.

He doesn't mean to hurt people. He's just saying what he thinks. Which also means he offends a bunch of people not by accident. And he doesn't apologize because he is just doing what he's been told.

Midoriya and Shigaraki's discussions are epic. And so are their fights. Yes, they fight like siblings. Which is crazy funny because they are like "friendly reminder you tried to KILL ME" and "WELL YOU DESERVED THAT FOR BEING A DICK".

They've finally found out that you can complain to him or get a little violent and he's not gonna even blink, just hear you out.

It was because Bakugo got a little violent with him and yeah, he just stared back waiting.

You can't imagine Dabi's anger when Tomura told him about Kotaro. He was frustrated because at least Tomura did step on Endeavor and humiliated him for life, but him? He is angry with a man that's dead and gone.

Okay no, the whole League is angry about the things that has happened to the whole League. That's the thing with finally being able to relax and feel. It all comes back in a flood.

They have prohibited being around school when the parents visit. Specially because they are no very civil to shitty parents.

And if a kid confess about having shitty parents, oh boy. The League is gonna BE PISSED.

The UA is still a total chaos, but now in the right ways. They have more normal problems, they don't have to win war and kill evil lords, they complain about not having money to go out and forgetting their homework. And the ex-villians can complain about life being boring a needing more action.

That's a good thing. That means they all are healing, together.

They're gonna be fine.

[writefasttalkevenfaster]

Take My Hand (Part One)

Summary: a secret relationship was enough, being with rafael was enough. and it was. until it wasn’t (one of three parts) 

Pairings: Rafael Barba x Reader, Sonny Carisi x Reader (more in next parts) 

Word Count: 3,417

Song:  I'm begging for you to take my hand / Wreck my plans, that's my man (willow by taylor swift) 

Warnings: T, implied sex, some sexual situations (but just kissing and touching, nothing explicit), fwb relationship essentially, rafael’s commitment issues, 

A/N: thank you to @bucky-of-the-opera​ and @qvid-pro-qvo​ for letting me bounce ideas off and not annoy you (hopefully) with my incessant obsession with this mini-series. 

“Barba, it’s time to go home,” the illustrious A.D.A. didn’t bother to look up from your brief he was revising, the margins bloodied with red ink and edits, as you watched, pressed against his doorframe, “you can tear my work to shreds tomorrow.” 

“Since when did you become my keeper?” he murmurs, his brow wrinkled much like the carpet that lined his floor —- and the rest of his office wasn’t much better — dimmed and dark much like the bags under his eyes, takeout containers from Forlini’s stacked in his trash can, printed briefs and case files stacked like a wall around the perimeter of his desk, some even stacked up on the larger conference table, a few scattered on the floor. 

“Oh it was in the job description,” you step forward, picking up the files that had jumped ship, likely to escape your boss, “assistant district attorney needed to assure SVU’s lead ADA is not found buried in an avalanche of cases that decided to take their revenge.” 

He snorts, still flipping pages through the memo, his tie loosened around his neck, sleeves pushed up to reveal his forearms, “I didn’t know you were a comedian before law school,” 

And for once you’re grateful that he doesn’t bother to look up — it means he  doesn’t notice your eyes lingering on his forearms, “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Barba,” 

And you expect a biting response, a quick retort, but instead you get honest reply, “Well I’d like to, if you’d let me,” you blink a moment, as he glances up for a moment, his look nearly earnest, “you know you do have a habit of keeping people at arm’s length.” 

“This isn’t about me,” and he smiles, looking back down at his work. 

“And the deflection begins,” you huff, scowling at him, though he still paid no mind.  

“Well my office doesn’t look like the aftermath of a legal aid implosion, and I’ve actually been sleeping 6 hours a night, can you say the same?” 

He frowns, lips pursed, “I can take care of myself,” 

“Clearly,” you crossed your arms, straightening the rug with the heel of your shoe, rounding his desk, “this case was impossible today, it will be impossible tomorrow.” 

“Well maybe if I worked a little harder it wouldn’t be so impossible, maybe we’d even get a little justice,” he sighs, lips pressed to the knuckles of his fist. 

You tilt your head, “You know this system is not always getting justice — sometimes it’s just about closure, and that’s all we can do sometimes.” 

“I want to do more— I—” he breaks off, knuckles white against clutching his pen, “I knew the system was full of grays, I know but—” 

“It’s different when it’s SVU, I know, but,” your fingers reach for his tentatively, easing the pen from his fingers, “you can only do what the system lets you — it’s not our job to legislate — it’s our jobs to advocate, to let the people’s voice be heard in court. But you can’t do that if you work yourself right into the ground.” 

“I know, I just—” 

“Barba, you know there’s no point of self-flagellating, no matter how tempting it might be,” 

He lets out a bitter chuckle, “It’s one of my many talents,” before rubbing his hands up and down his face, as if that would erase the exhaustion pressed upon his shoulders. 

“Oh I know,” you say with a sigh, “but you have other talents, don’t you?” and he finally looks up at you — most times you didn’t know what to make of his looks — sometimes it was easy — amusement when the defense counsel tripped up or frustration when the detectives kept pressing him to take the case further when it already sprung a leak — but other times it was a glimmer, a hint at something you could barely grasp onto before it disappeared between your fingers. But now, it lingered, his gaze raked over you until it left your skin blaringly raw under his steady look. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” and now, you barely remember to breathe, the air sucked from the room, instead replaced with a heat — thicker as it settles, but still he sends shivers down your spine, your eyes barely flickering over his lips. 

“I do,” the words falling from your lips, a rushed, thoughtless whisper.

His eyes molten, he leans forward, he mutters your name, barely a whisper — an ask for permission, as his palm dares to rest on your cheek, carefully, as if you would recoil from his touch — but you didn’t. You leaned into his palm, basking in his affection. 

His hand slips down, thumb brushing your lips and then resting on your chin, tilting it downwards, “Are you sure you want to know me this well?” he asks, as you lean forward, your backside pressed against the edge of his desk. 

“I do, if you’ll let me,” his breath warms your lips, “Rafael,” you whisper right before his lips brush yours. 

It’s chaste at first, tentative and gentle, but when your fingers find purchase on the back of his neck, you chase his lips. You taste coffee — bitter and rich, as rich as the passion and urgency of his kisses. Soon he’s standing, and you’re sitting at the edge of the desk, his body between your legs. His hands trail down your body, and his lips follow — pressing fervent kisses to your neck. And your hand grasps at the edge of his to keep yourself steady, the other on his shoulder, digging into his crisp button down. 

“Someone could walk in,” you gasp, hissing as his teeth gently graze your neck, “Raf—” 

He pauses, leaning back, “You’re right,” and you bite your lip, as he steps back, grabbing his jacket, glancing between you and the door, “it’s late, we should—” 

“Right,” your face burns, you round the desk towards the door, fuck, what if he thinks this is a huge mistake? What if he doesn’t— 

He grabs you by the wrist gently, smiling as he brushes past you, holding his office door open for you, “Your place or mine?” 

“You have to make our case, counselors, so what are you going to do about it?” Liv crossed her arms, looking between you and Rafael. 

“We need more evidence Liv, there’s no way around it,” you sigh, “we go in guns ablazing and odds are we don’t get it because a) he destroys it, or b) fruit of the poisonous tree. He’s smart and his lawyers are smart, we need this by the book.” 

“I agree, we need more — have you managed to get into contact with his ex-wife?”  

“Only many unreturned phone calls,” Amanda shakes her head, “I’ll try again, but she retired to Florida—” 

“Do one better, fly down there and talk to her,” Rafael replied, sliding the divorce proceedings across the table, “I think she may be the key to our case, and the warrants we need.” 

Rafael walks them to the elevator, chatting about the case, as you glance at the stacks of motions you needed to get through still. The door clicking shut behind him,  he slides next to you, as you slink down, sighing, “Thanks for backing me up on the case,” 

“Of course,” he replies, “we need more evidence — taking a half baked case against someone like Rita? It’s like begging to be ripped apart in front of an audience.” 

“Well, I know you dabble in masochism,” and he shot you a glare, his thigh pressed against your own, “How long do we have before you think we’ll have a case?” 

“A while — it will take them some time to get down to Florida and get something usable,” he flipped through more packets, before tossing them flippantly onto the coffee table, leaning back, his eyes flickering to the door, and he leans over, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, “which gives us more time to ourselves.” 

“Rafael—” he swallowed your protests with a kiss, and it was enough for your worries to fall away — he was enough to make everything fall away for you, your eyes flickered to the door, “the door—” “I locked it,” the words reverberate against your skin, “I wouldn’t be so careless, counselor,” his use of your title sent a shiver down your spine, “now are you going to let me take you home?”  

It had been a few weeks of this — sneaking kisses in between work, stolen glances across rooms, small smiles that quickly melted away under another's look, and many nights spent in the other's arms — but still you didn't know what this was. 

"Let's go," you smiled, pressing a teasing kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

But you didn't care. 

As the two of you stepped into the elevator, his hand brushed yours, because you didn't want to lose it. 

"Yes sir, I understand. I'll be there," your eyes flicker up to see Rafael standing in the doorway, "okay goodbye." 

"Was that McCoy—" 

"Chewing me out for not attending yet another gala, unfortunately yes, and it looks like I'm being shanghaied into attending," you shake your head, groaning, "doesn't he have better things to do than force me to schmooze with the affluent and influential?" 

"So close to his re-election? No," he sits down, checking his phone, "he needs to have his best and brightest there, and that's why he wants us there." 

"'Us?'" the corner of his lip tilts upwards. 

"You're not the only one who got an irate phone call," he locks his phone, tucking it away, "we should both leave the office early so we can arrive on time," 

You check the time, cursing, "I have to get my outfit dry cleaned, but I have to write a motion—" 

"I can do it— my suit is ready and I told Liv I wouldn't pick her up until closer to the start—" 

You blink, your chest squeezing, "Liv?" 

He frowns, "Yeah I'm taking her tonight — as a favor — there's a case—" 

You waved him off, “You don’t have to explain, it’s fine,” you grab your coat and your bag, “I should go now and drop off my clothes—” 

He says your name, “You know I would want to go with you if we didn’t—” 

If you didn’t work together, if your hypocrite of a boss didn’t have a chip on his shoulder for workplace relationships— “I know,”  you reply, offering a small smile, if this was something more than what you knew it was— “I’ll see you tonight.” 

But it wasn’t. 

This was a nightmare. 

Truly. 

Forced to attend a gala alone with people you didn’t know very well, stuck in the corner by the bar, forced to watch the one person you wanted be with someone else. But you didn’t want to want him — you downed your drink, asking for a refill — the alcohol wasn’t the only thing bitter on your lips. 

“Glad to see you could make it, counselor,” Jack McCoy greeted you with a grin, offering you his hand in a firm handshake, “you look lovely.” 

“Well, my boss didn’t give me much of a choice,” you purse your lips, “something about my future at the District Attorney’s office and if I wished to have his support,” 

He chuckles, ordering his drink from the bartender (“a scotch, neat”), “I sense good things in your future. You have been a great addition to SVU — you challenge the detectives to bring better cases and you’re giving Barba a run for his money.” 

You spotted Rafael out of the corner of your eye, Liv on his arm, and you glanced away, sipping at your drink, tucking away your frustration behind a mask of boredom— “I suppose I am,” —albeit, maybe not fast enough. 

McCoy followed your gaze. He doesn’t say anything, instead offering his hand to you, “May I have this dance?” you raised an eyebrow, leaning against the bar. 

“You’re not trying to make me one of your famous work affairs, are you, Jack?” and he laughs, shaking his head, tilting his head. 

“I think I know better than that, counselor,” your eyes find Rafael again — dancing with Liv, quietly talking, and you take Jack’s hand. 

“I’d love to,” you follow him onto the dance floor, his hands resting respectfully above your waist just a new song began, “I should warn you I’m not the best dancer,” 

“Just follow my lead,” he assured you, a smile playing on his lips,  “and if you step on my feet, well I’ll have a good case for assault.” 

You rolled your eyes, before pursing your lips, “What’s this about, Jack?” 

“What do you mean?” it’s your turn to tilt your head, your arms resting on his shoulders, “I just wanted to say, I’ve been down that road before,” he spares a discreet glance at Rafael, “and it never ends well.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you keep your voice steady and confused, but Jack only raises an eyebrow, “There’s nothing going on—” 

“A whole of lot of nothing is what I’m worried about,” He kept the friendly smile, “I’ve done this enough times to know when nothing is actually nothing — and I know the look you had wasn’t nothing—” 

“Jack—” 

“I’m not speaking to you as your boss, for now,” his words were careful, a sharp edge of warning that slid harmlessly across your cheek, but you knew it wouldn’t again, “but I don’t want to see you hurt.” 

“I don’t want to either, but I know what I’m doing,” and Jack nods. 

“I know you do, and I’m not telling you how to live your life, but-- “ he shakes his head, “you deserve better than someone who hides you — take it from an old man who lost someone they loved when they were too busy hiding them.” 

You frown, “I—” and you felt a tap on your shoulder, Rafael standing between you two. 

“May I cut in?” he offers Jack a smile, who steps back. 

“Remember what I said, counselor,” Jack shakes Rafael’s hand, keeping his eyes on you,  “a bright future.” 

A slow waltz begins to play, and he grins at you, “Are you going to keep me waiting?” 

“What about Liv?” he jerks his head and you see her dancing with that attorney, Trevor Langan. 

“She’s busy, and she’s not the one I want to dance with,” and his smile falters, raising his eyebrows, “unless you don’t want to—” 

You deserve more, Jack’s words echo in your ears, and you wanted more — you wanted him, more than you wanted to admit — more than he wanted you to want him. 

“Of course I do,” you take his hand, a soft smile on his lips, his palm warm against your back, pulling you close. 

“You look so amazing,” he remarks, murmuring in your ear, his dulcet tones sending a shiver down your spine,  “I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.” 

“Really?” his fingers tilt your chin up to meet his gaze. 

“Yes, because I couldn’t stop thinking about what I wanted to take off,” his voice liquid heat, and your breath stuttered in your chest — his hands on your body were no longer enough, “what do you do to me, mi amor?”

“I could say the same to you,” you mutter, as he tugs you a little closer, blurring the line between professional and personal, “Do you think it’s a good idea that we’re dancing this close?” 

“What do you mean?” and you look around, scanning for any sight of Jack. 

“Our jobs — people could talk,” and he just shrugs, emerald eyes shining, as his lips quirk upward, as he dips you, pulling you back up with ease — the same ease he did everything with — the same ease he always put you at. 

“Then let them.” 

And you bite your lip, a small smile on your lips. Maybe this was enough. You knew what you were doing. You glance at Jack, who now stands at the bar, his brow wrinkled. 

Right? 

“Rafael,” you can’t catch your breath with him, his lips insistent and plying, as he presses you into the soft cushions of the mattress, “we have motions in—” you gasp as he sucks your skin above your pulse, “an hour and half.” 

But really you didn’t care about the motions — you didn’t care about being late —- you wanted to talk to him, about you — about the both of you — but he didn’t want to talk. 

“That means we have at least half an hour,” his hands squeezed your hips, and your body responded in kind, head tilting back, exposing your neck for his lips, “that means I can do what i was planning to do more than once.” 

“You’re awfully confident,” you sigh, your fingers knotted in his soft hairs at the base of his neck, and he presses a kiss right between your collarbone, his lips smiling against you. 

“I have an impressive track record, no?” he grins, “I don’t recall you complaining last night,” you rolled your eyes, tugging him higher, so his hair brushed your forehead. 

“You do, so much so that,” and you wonder if he can feel your heart pounding against your chest, “I wanted to talk to you about something.” 

He raises an eyebrow, pressing a kiss to your lips, “What about?” 

“What are we doing, Raf?” the words leave your mouth in a whisper — a single, gentle step onto a frozen lake, waiting for the ice to give way beneath you, “what is this to you?” 

He hesitates — the first crack resonates through the still morning, “I don’t know, what is it to you? What do you want?” 

I want more than just this, I want to be able to take you to galas, to kiss you outside of dark corners and corner booths— “I don’t know either—” 

“Then let’s not waste time by defining it,” his hand cups your cheek — the cracks splintered under your feet, the water erupting from the fissures, “Mi amor, I’ve had relationships before, I’ve seen them fall apart, I’ve watched people who love each other hurt each other, over and over again. I don’t want to do that to you,” he sighs, “I don’t want to lose you.” 

“I don’t want to either, but don’t you want more than this?” He holds your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing the length of your cheeks. 

“I just need you — no more, no less than just this,” Rafael presses a kiss to your palm, “can we keep it this way for a little longer?” 

You deserve more. You want more. You need more. 

He says your name again, and you offer a small smile, as you sink beneath the emerald colored water of his eyes. 

“Of course, Raf.” 

There’s a knock at your office, and you glance over at the call of your name, “Hey, I’m from SVU, I’m looking for Barba,” his lanky figure is standing in your doorframe, his dirty blond hair slicked back, “I’m here to pick up a—” 

“A warrant?” you nod, rifling through your files, “I got it right here for you, Detective…?” 

He offers a hand, “Dominick Carisi, but you can call me Sonny,” you shake his outstretched hand, “You’re Barba’s number two, right? I heard about you from the squad.” 

“Not how I’d like to be remembered, but essentially yes,” you shrug, before handing him the warrant, “just make sure to keep your search restricted to the places in that warrant and catalog everything properly— we don’t need to need to deal any issues—” 

“Chain of custody, yeah I know. I’m actually in law school right now,” he adds, “Fordham.” 

“That’s a great school,” you raise your eyebrows, “I’m sure it’s tough balancing it with your work as a detective — I barely survived my first year and that was without a full time job.”

“Well, what can I say, I’m determined,” he nods, holding up the warrant, “it was nice meeting you, counselor.” 

“You too, Detective Carisi—” 

“I told ya, call me Sonny,” he smiles from the doorway, and you chuckle, a warm smile blooming on your face. 

“Only if you call me by my name too, Sonny.”

[naughtyneganjdm]

A Compromise - Chapter 2

Summary: The first thing Negan does with Y/N on their first night surprises her with how innocent it actually is, but a little while into their first night together she realizes that things are going to be a lot harder than she thought they would be. 

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC)

Warnings: Swearing, Dirty Sex Talk & a bit of touching

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834154/chapters/68293072

“Oh, we’re starting off real hardcore, aren’t we?” Y/N teased as Negan pulled into the parking lot of a diner and a smile cracked in over the corners of her lips. Negan looked over his shoulder at her and gave her an odd expression before smirking. “Like I said, I was thinking of red rooms so coming here is pretty tame in comparison to what my mind was conjuring up.”

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you with the lack of chains and whips,” Negan retorted with a snort, pulling his helmet off, carefully pulling himself from the motorcycle. Reaching his hand out, he urged her to grab a hold of his hand and winked. “I was just hoping to get to know you first. Talking to you at the club wasn’t all that comfortable. So, I figured I would buy you a late-night dinner and get to know you. It’s quiet and I can actually hear you.”

“And that’s what you want to do with me tonight?” she looked down at his hand while she wrapped her fingers around it. Negan helped her off of the motorcycle and she felt him pull her in closer to him making her let out a shuddering exhale. “I didn’t think I would be having a late-night dinner with someone for two hundred bucks.”

“Like I said, I’m not having sex with you any time soon. I just want to get to know you. To me, it’s well worth the two hundred bucks,” Negan reached up to nudge her chin playfully with his fingers and nodded toward the diner. “Plus, the people that work here will leave us alone and not get up in our business like I feel people would anywhere else. They are good folks here.”

“Well at least I know you’re more of a burger and fries kind of guy instead of a four-star restaurant kind of guy,” she knew that her mind had come up with multiple scenarios of what Negan was like in her head and it was almost relaxing to know that Negan was more laid back than she pictured him to be. When he was tossing money out like he was, she assumed he wanted the best of everything and debated how she would be able to please a man like that with her time.

“I can be both, but who really gets to know someone at a stuffed shirt restaurant?” Negan pointed out, his hand sliding in over the small of her back to make her follow him toward the doors of the diner. Once they were inside, Negan made eye contact with one of the waitresses and pointed toward one of the booths in the back. Following him there, she took a seat with his help and watched Negan wait for her to get comfortable before going to the other side. “Here we can just talk and not really worrying about impressing anyone. It’s a relaxed environment and I feel like when people are in those, they are more open to talking.”

“And what do you want to talk about?” she inquired, her eyebrow perking up while looking him over. She had so many questions, so many thoughts she wanted to bring up to him, but this was supposed to be his time she was on. Asking a thousand questions would likely turn him off of her and that’s the last thing she wanted to do right now.

“Well first of all, why don’t you tell me about school. What were you studying before that asshole did what he did?” Negan laid his hands over the top of the table and she couldn’t help but take notice at how long his fingers were.

“Law,” she explained feeling her cheeks flush over when she thought about her education. “I wanted to be lawyer.”

“Oh, that’s a great profession for you,” Negan chuckled, lowering his head for a moment. It seemed like he was stuck on a thought that entertained him and she tilted her head to the side. “The first case you lose, if you think the judge was being a dickhead you would knock his lights out.”

“Oh ha-ha,” she rolled her eyes, reaching up to brush her hair back and out of her face. The waitress came to ask them what they wanted and when she ordered just water, Negan gave her a frustrated glance. She didn’t really want to go out and eat while getting to know Negan. What if he was disgusted by her and decided to change his mind? She could really use this money and there was a reason he was interested in her. If she ate a certain way, she didn’t know if it would stop him from wanting to be around her. After all, tonight could be a test. She quit her job for this guy based on his offer. He saw her eat and was turned off by it, she may have made a huge mistake. “I’m not all that hungry.”

“Get something to eat,” Negan ordered, his eyes narrowing while he stared out at her expectantly. “And get something you would actually like.”

Negan had gotten himself a burger and she just went with a club sandwich hoping to get something that wouldn’t be too messy. When she was done ordering, Negan eyed her over and cocked his head, “I fully expect you to get what you want when I tell you to.”

“I wanted nothing,” she responded and Negan bit into his bottom lip clearly not believing her. “I just don’t want you changing your mind about me after I eat. You don’t need to see my chowing down on a meal and then decide I’m not worthy of your time.”

“Well, since you’re big on rules…never do that kind of thinking. Never worry about what might turn me off of you,” Negan grunted, looking over toward the front of the restaurant. “I’ve picked you; I’m sticking with you. So, when I tell you to eat, you eat…”

“Yes sir,” she somewhat laughed and Negan’s eyebrow rose at her sarcasm. It was clear he wasn’t completely enthralled with her over-the-top mocking tone and she lowered her head down. She really had to dial back the sarcasm. Lowering her head, she shrugged and wasn’t sure really what to say. “I’m going to have to work on all of these rules that you are going to come up with. Sometimes I have a mouth on me and I need to learn to tone it down.”

“We’ll get you to where you need to be,” Negan stretched out, placing his arms on the back of the booth he was in and she found herself charmed by how confident Negan appeared to be. Watching him while he surveyed the restaurant made her swoon. This guy was gorgeous and the thought that he wanted to be near her and spend time with her really blew her away. His chiseled jaw flexed when he spotted something and looked back to her. Immediately she lowered her head again. Being caught staring might be uncomfortable at this stage for him and she wanted to appear as normal as possible to him. It was just hard to understand why someone like him would want to be around someone like her. “Do you like pie?”

“Like…pie pie?” she repeated making Negan chuckle. It was hard to really know what he was attempting to ask her because she was thinking dirty thoughts based off previous things he said. With the uniqueness of the situation she was saying ridiculous things and she knew that. Hopefully he didn’t think she was simple because she wasn’t. It was just a strange situation and she was uncomfortable. When she was uncomfortable, sometimes she said some silly things. “I don’t know if you are asking something…dirty.”

“No, I mean like apple pie. They have a great apple pie here and I thought we could share some after our meal,” Negan’s face scrunched up after it was clear he was amused with her. Did he find her charming or just ridiculous? It was hard to read his expressions at this point in the game. “If I am talking to you about something sexual, you’ll know.”

“Okay,” she wasn’t sure how to respond, this was all still odd to her. She could only picture how awkward she was coming off to him. “Apple pie is…nice.”

“Good,” Negan stretched his neck out and he bit at his bottom lip. There appeared to be some tension in his neck and her first thought was rubbing it for him. God, she felt pathetic. She was desperate to touch him and be close to him only after the second night of knowing he actually existed. “So, you take school seriously?”

“It’s been my entire life for as long as I can remember,” she answered honestly knowing that there was no sense in lying. While she could pretend that she wasn’t a total geek to a sense, she knew that Negan would find out eventually that her education meant everything to her. Being honest about that she felt was key. “I’ve put my everything into my education. It’s why I’m as upset as I am about what happened with college. I was damn good at what I was doing.”

“I believe that,” Negan nodded his head, his eyes surveying her closely and it made her wonder what he was thinking about her. It was hard to read his expressions and she shifted uneasily before him in her seat. “What are you going to do about school?”

“Well they think they can expel me because they have proof that I broke the windows and set the car on fire,” she told him what he obviously already knew because of what he had heard with her and her father. “What they don’t know is that I flirted with someone from the AV club and they took the tape for me. Eventually, I’m supposed to get the tape from the guy. So, they have no proof. When the appeal comes up, the thing they think they have on me, won’t be there.”

“God damn,” Negan let out an impressed sound and he leaned forward to get closer to her. “Just when I think I won’t like you anymore than I already do, you go and say something like that. Shit! Tell me, should I be jealous of that poor sucker in the AV club?”

“No,” she made a disgusted sound and Negan’s eyebrows bounced up while he listened to her. “I just flirted with him. You’d be surprised how desperate some people can be just for a little attention.”

Y/N thought about what she said and wondered if that was appropriate to say considering the situation they were in right now. It kind of came off extremely arrogant and she didn’t know if he would be turned off by it, but he looked to be the opposite.

“You’re a fucking badass,” Negan lowered his arms and laid them back on the table again. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”

“When the world is against you Negan, you learn to do what you have to in order to get by in life,” she responded knowing that things were harder when you were a woman in the career path she was interested in. “The world doesn’t make it easy for women.”

“I like that. Hearing that you would do anything to get what you want really puts things into perspective for me,” Negan drew his tongue over his bottom lip and his hazel eyes were locked on hers. “You are something else, you know that?”

“Thank you,” she didn’t know what to say as he nearly ate her alive with his eyes. It caused a chill to fill her body and she had to force herself to look away from him. “How about you? Why are you a teacher when you could clearly do anything you want with the money you have.”

“I like feeling like I changed someone’s life for the better,” Negan grunted, “Plus I really like sports. This lets me teach while also getting to coach. I really enjoy it. A lot. People look up to me, it’s a nice feeling.”

“Ah, so you like people looking up to you,” she lifted her gaze catching the smirk that pressed in over his features. “I’m sure you have a lot of boys and girls that are drooling every time they are in your class or whenever you are coaching them.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it,” Negan snickered acting like he didn’t even think that was a thought in his mind. “I’m sure a lot of them fucking hate me too. That’s what you get when you teach high school students.”

“I would have loved having you as a teacher,” she confessed catching the interested look that filled his face when she said that. He sat up straighter and nodded making her lick her lips. “I would have been interested in actually showing up.”

“Mmm…I think you would have been one of my favorite students,” Negan assured her with another confident wink.

“Have you ever had a relationship with a student?” she pondered knowing that this was more so about him getting to know her, but she was interested. “I always wondered these kinds of things.”

“No, but if you were my student, I would have thought about it,” Negan quickly responded making a shocked sound escape her throat. “I was married for most of my career sweetheart and if someone found out I was sleeping with a student it would ruin my career. I also tend to like my women of…age.”

“Well some of them are eighteen,” she remembered what it was like being in high school. If there was a teacher that would have been there that looked like Negan, she could have seen herself doing whatever she could to get his attention. She was sure he got that kind of thing now by people who caught on to how gorgeous he was. “At eighteen I would have loved to have you…”

“Go on,” Negan noticed she stopped when she caught herself clearly thinking something naughty. This is what he meant when he mentioned quiet places. People got comfortable and just let whatever was on their mind come out. That’s how he wanted these things. “What would you have done at eighteen and I was your professor.”

“I would have done anything to get your attention,” she asserted, biting at her bottom lip in an attempt to play coy.

“Well, in a power position it would feel wrong to accept something like that,” Negan reminded her with a simple shrug. “Kind of like that asshole professor that fucked your shit up.”

“That’s different though. I’m a damn good student. I was doing everything right and he tried to fuck me to use his power to get what he wanted,” she insisted with a firm shake of her head. “When you have a good teacher, like I’m sure you are…I would have been totally drawn to you. I don’t think you would have forced yourself on me at all. I would have likely forced myself on you.”

“Wow, we’re going there, huh?” Negan mused with a half laugh. “I’m getting the slightest sense that I may be your type Y/N.”

“Possibly,” she chortled, reaching up to rub her hand in over the side of her warm cheek. There was no doubt that she was doing some heavy blushing and she couldn’t help it. “I honestly don’t understand why someone like you…is interested in someone like me.”

“Well that’s for me to know and for you to…potentially find out in the future?” Negan slurred, trying to find the right words to say. “I like a bit of mystery.”

“No kidding,” she took notice of how things had gone done between them. “You’re a big ball of mystery for me Mr. Smith. Do you want to tell me why you are doing this in the first place?”

“Doing what?” Negan played ignorant with her, but she knew he knew that she was asking about why he was having her spend time with him for money. The look she gave him must have told him that and he laughed. “You don’t even have to speak and I know what you are thinking by that ridiculously sassy expression of yours.”

“Then you should answer the question,” she scoffed making Negan laugh again. Well at least he laughed and was amused with her. That was a plus. It would have been bad if she just annoyed him with her forward attitude. “What am I here for? Is this going to be like a purely sexual relationship that is no strings attached?”

“Listen, I’m not looking to fall in love with you or hoping to sweep you off your feet if that’s what you’re asking me,” Negan proclaimed with a small sigh. “I’m not in a position in my life where I’m ready for that.”

“I see,” she looked down toward his left hand to see that he was still wearing his wedding ring like her mother had pointed out to her previously. “Can I ask you…anything?”

“Anything,” Negan grumbled noticing that she was looking at his wedding ring that he was wearing.

“Why still wear the ring if she passed away?” Y/N wondered, knowing that it may have been a little cold for her to ask that, but it was on her mind. If Negan was looking for attention from her, why was he still wearing the ring? Negan’s cocky arrogance seemed to fade a bit while he shifted anxiously before her.

“Just because she died doesn’t mean that she isn’t still my wife Y/N,” Negan looked to his hand and eyed over the ring that he had kept on his finger. It had been there for so long; he just didn’t want to take it off. “Sometimes we need things in life that ground us. When things get a little crazy, we have that thing that pulls us back in. Lucille was that for me. It’s why I keep the ring on. It reminds me of her and it pulls me back in.”

“Lucille?” she repeated the name clearly realizing that was the name of his late wife. “I’m sorry she passed away.”

“Me too,” Negan swallowed down hard and bit down on his bottom lip. “She was an amazing woman.”

There was a silence between them because she didn’t want to say something to upset him any further than she clearly had already done. Negan played with the ring over his finger with his thumb before lifting his gaze to her.

“I’m going to assume that you aren’t dating anyone since you took my offer?” Negan acknowledged and she sighed heavily before nodding. “So, no one special?”

“I told you, education has been my primary focus for a while,” she confessed and Negan rest his chin on his palm while getting comfortable listening to her after bracing his elbow on the table. “It’s been quite some time since I’ve had anyone special in my life.”

“So, are you a virgin?” Negan simply blurt out making her cheeks flush over and she lowered her head to look at the ground beneath the table. “Don’t be embarrassed. Whatever you answer won’t make me like you any less.”

“No, I’m not,” she responded simply and Negan wiggled his head about as if to say she was being vague.

“Have you had a lot of sex then?” Negan uttered and she shrugged.

“What’s a lot of sex for someone my age?” she attempted to get a feel for what he thought about things and he threw his other hand out as if to say he didn’t know. The answer was no, she wasn’t very experienced, but she didn’t quite want to admit that knowing he may have been looking for something a little more than what she had to offer. “Have you had a lot of sex?”

“What’s a lot of sex for someone my age?” Negan almost mocked her with an amused smile and she rolled her eyes at him. “You not being a virgin makes things easier to be honest with you.”

“How’s that?” she was confused as to why he would say something like that.

“When you sleep with someone for the first time, it should be special. You know?” Negan stated with a tilt of his head.

“Apparently I missed that memo,” she exhaled heavily and Negan gave her an interested expression. “I was at that point in my life where everyone was going crazy about having sex. I felt out of place for not having sex and I was trying to figure out why everyone was so big on it.”

“That’s a horrible reason to have sex,” Negan grunted and she felt her face flushing over. Why was she being so honest with him about this?

“Long story short, I did it to find out what the big deal was and to feel not like a loser,” she muttered and Negan nodded, the look he was giving her changing when she said that. “I wish I could get those few minutes back…”

“It wasn’t good?” Negan prodded further and she laughed. “What wasn’t good about it?”

“It was more so uncomfortable and the guy it was with, I was just ready for it to be over,” she admitted with a hesitant sound. “He thought he was impressive and he definitely thought he was hot.”

“And he wasn’t, huh?” Negan grumbled, his eyes narrowing out at her as she tilted her head to the side. It felt weird talking to him about her first experience with sex.

“He thought he was spectacular at sex and God’s gift to women. Let’s just say he wasn’t all that impressive,” she frowned, looking down toward the table again and she felt embarrassed to be saying this.

“See, it’s hard for me to picture that you can’t get a decent lover,” Negan informed her with an expecting glance. “You just told me that you flirted with the AV club guy to get what you wanted. You’re hot, you know you’re hot. So I feel like you could have gotten whoever you wanted.”

“I’m good with flirting Negan. I know how to use what I have to get what I want. It doesn’t make me a slut,” she snorted and Negan’s eyebrows perked up when she said it. “I slept with someone people considered hot and it didn’t take much convincing. Trust me a lot of girls at my school would have been jealous that I got him, but he wasn’t a big prize like most of the girls thought he was.”

“You excite me the more you say to me,” Negan hummed thinking about some of the words she used. “You’re nervous, but you are extremely confident. You’re a badass, but also down to Earth. Fuck, I like learning the layers of you.”

“You make me sound exciting,” she rolled her eyes and Negan tapped his hands against the table. “What about you? I’m sure your first time was much better than mine.”

“My first time was a long time ago,” Negan snorted seeing the way her cheeks flushed over again and he smiled. “What would you say if I told you I was a geek and I didn’t get laid until college?”

“I wouldn’t believe you,” she answered and Negan gave her a sideway glance.

“You’d be right,” Negan shrugged, throwing his hands up. “It was worth a shot.”

“You were definitely a jock and you were very popular,” she took notice of the way he acted. There was an air to Negan that showed he was admired most of his life. He was cocky and there was a reason. People always let him be cocky. He was good looking and he knew it. “You likely slept with most of the school.”

“Maybe,” Negan paused to think of what he should say next. “I was the captain on our basketball team in high school.”

“And did you or did you not sleep with most of the cheerleaders?” she egged him on and watched Negan’s features scrunch up with amusement. “I know I’m right.”

“Mhmm,” Negan slowly nodded, biting into his bottom lip. “You want me to be honest with you?”

“It’s a night of honesty,” she retorted with a dramatic shrug. “So why not?”

“In college I stayed with a friend of mine. We lied and said I was her brother so that way I didn’t have to pay for a place to stay. It was a building with nothing, but girls…” Negan admitted almost making a pleased look for himself. “Let’s just say, when you are the only male in a building, girls are pretty damn eager to…get to know you.”

“Of course you did,” she lowered her head into her palm, letting out an amused sound.

“Does that turn you off of me?” Negan poked, his eyes hooked on her when she lifted her gaze again.

“As you said Negan, you’re completely my type,” she reminded him, hating to confess that to him. “I would have been one of them hoping to understand why sex was so damn good and why everyone wanted to sleep with you. Maybe you would make me realize why sex is so damn good.”

“I’m better now than I was then,” Negan almost flirted with her making her shudder. “I know what a woman wants now. Then, I was just happy to be getting laid at the rate I was. I thought I was such big shit.”

“Well, I bet the people you slept with felt lucky. Unlike I felt with the guy I slept with,” she brought back her past and let out a long sigh. “It’s one of the biggest regrets I’ve had in my life and I’m still wondering why people are crazy about sex.”

“You just didn’t have the right partner,” Negan insisted, reaching out to place his hand over hers to give it a firm squeeze. “Once you find the right one, you’ll never get enough of it.”

“Yeah?” her eyebrow rose as she leaned in closer to him at the table. “Why is that? What would you do to make me enjoy it? Now, not back when you were younger.”

“You want me to go there?” Negan grinned with air of arrogance. When she nodded, he took a look around the diner and made sure they were secluded so no one could hear them. “Give me a situation. Where are we?”

“Let’s go with where we are now,” she looked around the small diner. “What would you do to make sure that I enjoyed it?”

“Well, first of all…” Negan lowered his voice, his eyes narrowing out at her. “I would get up from this side of the table and slide in beside you. I’d start kissing your neck, learning the places you liked to be touched. Since you’re wearing that sexy little skirt, I would caress over your thigh with my hand in teasing strokes. I’d gradually slide my hand up between your thighs and trace over your panties with my fingertips. I’d make sure my eyes were locked on yours to be sure I could see which ways I touched you made you shudder or shake. After I knew that you were turned on and full of lust, I’d push your panties aside and push this finger inside of you.”

She watched him raise his hand up and wiggle one of his fingers. Listening to him was drawing her cheeks to turn a light shade of red again and he could sense that her breathing had gotten heavier while he was talking, “I’d finger you, urging you to make sure that you stayed quiet while we were in here because we wouldn’t want to be caught. After you were nice and wet, I would put a second finger in. I’d vary with slow thrusts of my fingers to quick. It would be based on if you were about to have an orgasm or not. If you were close, I would slow down, making sure to drag it out. When we could get away, I’d go to the bathroom and instruct you to follow me in there. When we were alone, I’d make sure the door was locked and I’d hoist you up on the sink. I’d take your panties off and put them in my pocket. Get down on my knees and eat our your pretty little pussy. It would be about dragging out the pleasure for you. I would use my fingers and tongue in equal amounts teasing your clit while also focusing on hitting your g-spot. I’d do it until I had you screaming out my name having your first orgasm.”

“Yeah?” she was eager for him to continue as Negan checked to make sure they were still alone within reason. The undoubtable pounding of her heart inside of her chest was felt and she felt goosebumps pressing in over her arms. Truthfully, this was making a warmth pool at her core and it ached. Negan was turning her on incredibly bad by just his words and it was hard to admit it, but it was true.

“Just when you thought you were at the peak of your pleasure, I would let you take my cock out because something tells me that you would eagerly like to get me out of my pants yourself,” Negan looked down toward his groin, a wicked smirk pressing in over his handsome features when his eyes lifted back to hers. “I’d have you put me inside of you and I would make sure to kiss you while you got used to my size.”

“I take it that means you are big,” she felt her throat go dry and Negan sat up straighter.

“I’m six foot one,” Negan cleared his throat and she felt her frustrations getting the best of her when he clearly teased her again.

“You know I mean your dick,” she simply stated, licking at her lips. “I’m trying to put an image in my mind and make this as realistic as possible. “Do you have a big cock?”

The sound of a surprised breath fell over them making Negan choke in amusement when the waitress had brought their drinks to the table. An incredible amount of embarrassment filled her entire body as she groaned inwardly and lowered her head into her palm after seeing the look on the waitress’s face.

“Thank you,” Negan was chuckling when the waitress swiftly walked away from the table. “Very subtle. We’re clearly going to have to teach you to do things on the downlow so we don’t involve other people and make it uncomfortable.”

“Why didn’t you tell me she was coming?” she lifted her head from her hand and could see that Negan was completely amused with her.

“I didn’t know where you were going with it,” Negan snickered, lowering his head to laugh to himself. “It’s why I answered my height.”

“After all of this, I think you at least owe me an answer,” she claimed nodding toward him when he lifted his head to look up at her. “I did just embarrass the hell out of myself there.”

“It’s pretty good,” Negan rubbed at the back of his neck, letting out a strained noise.

“What does that mean?” she was flustered with his answer and it was clear he liked screwing with her.

“It means it’s bigger than the average size,” Negan bit at his bottom lip, his tongue flicking out over his bottom lip. “I’m not a horse or anything of the sort…”

“So bigger than six inches?” she confirmed making Negan grin over her interest.

For someone who hated sex as much as she said she did, it entertained him that she was so sexual with him about her questions. It really was flattering that she was so hot and bothered by him.

“Why? Do you want a monster cock after your first experience?” Negan teased her and she let out an agitated sound. “Yes, it’s bigger than six inches and it’s thick. Would you like me to continue or would you like excruciating details of my penis so that way if you ever do see it you aren’t surprised at all?”

“Keep going,” she almost begged looking around to make sure the waitress wasn’t anywhere near their table. “Please.”

“Okay,” Negan watched her scooting in closer to the table and he found it cute that she was so eager to hear how they would finish in his little story. “Once you were used to my…size…”

The way in which he said that made a smile crack in over his lips. Well one thing was for certain, he certainly was someone that liked fucking with her and liked getting her hot with what he was saying.

“I would start off at a slow pace making sure that your eyes were hooked on mine. Once you were relaxed, I would make each thrust just a little bit harder. I’d want you to hold onto my shoulders tightly so that when I started fucking you harder you would have something to brace yourself with. When it seemed like you were about cum, I would stop. I’d get you on your feet and make you face the mirror. You’d brace your hands on the mirror while I thrust into you from behind. I’d make you watch me fuck you while my fingers rubbed your clit at the same tempo I was thrusting my cock inside of you. This time you would be allowed to cum. Near the end I would make it so you could crawl in over me and ride my cock to your own accord. Letting you control when I get to cum. You’d bring yourself to another orgasm before making me cum inside of your tight little pussy. We’d kiss until I went soft inside of you…”

“Wow,” she breathed out slowly, feeling certain parts of her tingling when Negan explained just what he would do to her. An involuntary shiver filled her entire body and she waved her hand in the air. “You are…”

“Oh look, our meal,” Negan rubbed his hands together when the waitress came back with their food. Instead of being able to say what she wanted, she swallowed down hard and avoided making eye contact with the waitress. “Thank you darlin’.”

The area around Y/N felt like it was spinning and she was doing her best to bring herself back down from the high his story gave her. Negan had started to eat, but when he noticed she wasn’t eating he gave a wicked smirk.

“Eat your food sweetheart,” Negan winked and during their meal he asked her questions about herself that were rather innocent. They talked about things to get to know each other better on a more personal level that didn’t really involve anything sexual. How he went from being that…sexual to just talking like it never happened blew her mind. She was still heated and she could tell that Negan got her mighty excited. When they were done, Negan ordered a single piece of pie and when it came to the table, he grabbed a forkful to hold his hand out for her to take a bite. “Open wide.”

“Yes sir,” she smirked parting her lips for him to feed her the bite of pie. When she made a pleased sound, he was proud and grabbed a bite for himself. “This was nice.”

“Yeah, it was,” Negan agreed with a loud sigh, thinking things over as he took a couple more bites from the pie. Slowly, Negan pulled himself up from the side of the table that he was on. Taking a seat on the same booth as her, he urged her further in wrapping his left arm around her shoulders. The way she gasped made him smile while his hazel eyes hooked on hers. “This has been quite an eye opener for me. You know? I’m glad you agreed to this. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed with agreeing to this whole thing.”

“Yeah?” she felt heated when he leaned in closer to her. His right hand grabbed a hold of her jaw and she felt his lips pressing in over her jawline making her take in a sharp breath. The sensation of his lips trailing over the side of her neck caused her eyes to slam shut. She was tremoring and she knew he was doing what he told her would be the first thing he would do if they had sex at the diner.

“You are something else,” he muttered against her flesh, biting softly at her skin. A small moan fell from her throat and Negan’s gaze lifted to look at the diner to make sure she hadn’t drawn attention to them. When he was certain they were fine, he went back to depositing wet kisses over her skin taking the time to see what areas seemed to drive her the craziest with desire. “I think the two of us are going to have a lot of fun together.”

“I think so too,” she agreed, biting into her bottom lip when his rough palm settled in over her bare thigh. The roughness of his skin tickled hers and it drew her to spread her legs further apart for him. Negan was pleased with himself and he continued to slide his hand further up her thigh. “Negan…”

“Yeah?” Negan hummed against her neck, his tongue flicking out over her skin before nipping again.

Sliding forward in her seat when she felt Negan’s fingers exceedingly close to her panties, she found herself ridiculously excited at the idea that he was doing what he had told her at the beginning of his story. It wasn’t like her to want to have sex with someone like this, but there was something about Negan that just drew her to him. God, he was so sexy.

“We should probably pay for the bill,” Negan pulled his hand back and his mouth away from her neck. A desperate sound fell from her throat when he had clearly tormented her with the idea of what he had said in his story. “I should get you home. It’s been a busy night for you.”

“What…what about the bathroom?” she suggested and Negan lifted his gaze to look in the direction where the bathrooms were. “Don’t you want to go in there?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Negan reached up to swipe thumb in over her jawline. It was clear that he was teasing her. He got her excited at the idea of what he had told her before they had eaten, but he wasn’t going to give that to her. “I don’t need to go.”

“But…” she tried to reason with Negan watching him get up to pay the bill. She was shaking. Her breathing was heavy and she was truly heated. More than anything she wanted Negan to take her into the bathroom and do just what he had said he would. Yet, he was fucking with her. Her lips parted and she swallowed down hard. “Fuck.”

“You ready to go sweetheart?” Negan reached for her hand and helped her up from the seat she was in. When he noticed her legs shaking, he stepped forward and made sure his lips were pressed to her ear. “Just how wet is your pussy right now?”

“You could find out,” she whispered and Negan laughed against her flesh making a chill run down her spine again.

“I think I’ll wait for a better opportunity,” Negan hushed her, pressing a soft kiss against her earlobe before tugging softly on her hand to get her to come with him to his motorcycle. The urge to beg Negan to desperately fuck her was there, but she didn’t want to come off completely pathetic. Shuddering, she got back on the motorcycle with him and heard him let out a satisfied breath. “Make sure you hold really tight to me baby. I’m going to take you home.”

“What about my car?” she thought back to the fact she had driven herself to work before Negan convinced her to come with him. “It’s still at the club.”

“Tell your parents that you were feeling sick and a friend drove you home,” Negan answered like it was no big deal at all. “They will take you to pick it up in the morning.”

And like that, she didn’t fight him. Holding tightly to him, she rest her cheek against his back as he drove them home. It was a nice feeling that she wasn’t quite ready to end when Negan finally did get home. When he pulled into his driveway, she was disappointed and wanted the night to last longer.

Steadying herself on her Jell-O feeling legs, she rubbed at her arms and could see Negan staring out at her with an expecting glance.

“Do you…want me to come in?” she pointed toward his house and Negan’s eyebrow arched up. A wolfish smile pulled at his lips and he shook his head slowly. “We could get to know each other a little bit better.”

“Not tonight,” Negan denied her, shoving his hands in his pockets while he turned his attention back to her. Why was he being so damn difficult? “I think we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well for tonight. We can end it here.”

“I still feel like there is so much more to learn,” she reasoned with him and Negan nodded.

“Which is why I look forward to our future encounters,” Negan stepped forward, getting exceedingly close to her. The warmth of his breath over her face caused her to shudder and she found herself leaning in closer to him. With his eyes on hers the way they were, she felt connected to Negan in a way that made her eager to get to know him more. “I’ll see you morning.”

“Wait…aren’t you going to kiss me?” she called out to him when he pulled away from her to leave. “That’s the perfect way to end the night, right?”

“Would it be perfect for me…or perfect for you?” Negan stepped forward nuzzling his nose against the side of her neck when he lowered his head. Negan dragged his bottom lip over her flesh making her whimper out. Dragging the back of his fingers over her lower abdomen, Negan bit back a groan himself. “Can I touch you.”

“Yes,” she shuddered when Negan slid his palm between her thighs to palm in over her mound. It made her cry out into his collarbone, burying her face against his leather jacket. Negan hummed with approval when he managed to slip his hand beneath the material of her panties. All he did was slide his palm over her body before a proud sound fell from his throat.

“You are so fucking wet,” Negan growled, pulling his hand from her panties and bringing his fingers up to his lips. There was a wicked smirk over his handsome face when he sucked softly at his fingertips. “I have a direct order for you tonight. I know when I leave you tonight, you are going to want to touch yourself when you’re in bed tonight. You’ll want that release because I’ve got you fucking soaked and aching…”

Involuntarily she was shaking and Negan grunted when he reached to pull her close to him, “but you aren’t allowed to touch yourself. You can’t shower, you can’t masturbate…you are to go to bed immediately. You need to get your sleep because I expect you here bright and early tomorrow after you get your car. I have plans for you. So, in the morning you can shower and get yourself ready, but not tonight.”

“That doesn’t seem fair,” she bickered in a soft voice and Negan let out a disappointed tsking sound.

“You’re not allowed to, no matter what,” Negan maintained, pressing a long kiss over the side of her face. “If I find out you did, you’ll be punished for it and trust me…you’re the type that can’t hide lying very well so I will know.”

“Yes sir,” she obeyed and Negan back stepped away from her, his amused breath filling the air.

“Good girl,” Negan clicked his tongue at the top of his mouth and leaned back in a dramatic manner. “I’m so proud of you.”

There was a silence while Negan clearly thought hard about something and he held his hand out to her, “Give me your phone.”

Listening, she handed him over her phone and saw him typing something in. When he handed it back to her, she could see that he put his phone number into her phone and sent himself a text so he would have her number as well. When Negan started to move away from her, she was thinking a desperate way to try and keep him there with her.

“So, no kiss?” she reaffirmed and Negan nodded once. Damn, that was disappointing. She imagined kissing him was amazing and the fact he wasn’t doing it made her even more uncomfortable than before. “Well, goodnight I guess.”

“Sleep tight,” Negan wiggled his fingers and headed back toward his home. Moving back to her parent’s house, she found herself staring as Negan moved into his home. He didn’t even look back over his shoulder at her and it disenchanted her.

Truthfully, the perfect night would have been doing exactly what he told her in his story, but instead she ended up with this. Heading inside she went upstairs and crawled into her bed after getting dressed for bed. There was a strong ache at her core and she looked to the time. Negan wouldn’t know if she touched herself, right?

Biting firmly into her bottom lip, she closed her eyes and pictured everything he told her at the diner tonight. It was easy to picture in her mind and even though she wanted to caress over her aching body, she knew that she was given an order not to. Whining, she looked toward the window and wondered if Negan was thinking of her the way she was thinking of him.

Damn, it was going to be hard to sleep tonight thinking about Negan. Especially when she was desperate for tomorrow morning. She was excited to see what Negan had in store for her in the morning. If it was anywhere near this, she figured it was something she would definitely be happy with.

Tags: @slutlanna976​​​​  @nubbinrobin​​​​ @oreostars​​​  @fuckthis-and-fuckthat​​​​ @jennydehavilland​​​​ @felicity291​​​ @de-gabyconamor​​​ @ibelongtonegan​​​​ @smallsadjellyfish​​​ @labyrinthofheartagrams​​​  @msjamesmarch​​​ @thebeautysurrounds​​​ @hotfornegan​​​ @redmercysugar​​​ @caprithebunny​​​ @iluvneganandjamie​​​ @ninamarietwd​​​ @tuttifuckinfruitty​​​ @emoryhemsworth​​​ @a-girl-interupted​​​ @akumune​​​ @stoneyggirl​​​ @insertneganhere​ @haleygreen23​

[zelk0va]

(ENG) Akuneko (AKNK) Butler Story, Lucas: A Past of Hurting Others (2/3)

A Past of Hurting Others, Chapter 2

【Third floor, butlers’ room】

Lucas: In my childhood... Lucas: I was an insolent and awful child. Muu: I wanna hear about you when you were young, Lucas! Lucas: Mmm...it’s not the most interesting of stories. >Tell me whatever you can tell me >I want to know more about you, Lucas

Lucas: Master... Lucas: Understood. Then, I’ll tell you a little bit... Lucas: This all happened many years ago. Lucas: I was born to an average family, one you could find anywhere. Lucas: However, I was not an “average” child. Lucas: As a child, I held an acute interest in pursuing knowledge, much more than the usual person. Lucas: I would read anything I could get my hands on, for hours on end...I was the type of child that was always studying. Lucas: I was quite the odd child. >Did you get called a genius a lot?

Lucas: Yes. I feel a bit shy saying it myself, but I was indeed called that. Lucas: By the time I began school, I was already reading textbooks that were thousands of pages long. Lucas: The adults around were also astonished at that. Lucas: What?! You were reading huge books like that since you were a kid? Lucas: I thought that learning was fun, and I enjoyed it more than anything. Lucas: To me, it was the same as playing. Muu: That’s some love of learning... Lucas: Well, it wasn’t always full of good things... Muu: How come? Lucas: I was always lonely as a child. Lucas: I was never on the same wavelength as the other children... Lucas: Even my teachers at school couldn’t keep up with me. Lucas: I was told so many things back then... Lucas: “You need to adjust yourself to others more”...”Don’t speak, you’re a bad influence on the other children”... Lucas: Eventually, people just started leaving me. Lucas: They wouldn’t answer even if I spoke to them. People just spontaneously turned their eyes away from me... Lucas: To be honest, I felt isolated and saddened... Lucas: But, at the time, I had no other option but to just accept it. Lucas: Then, at my parents’ suggestion, I decided to keep going forward. Lucas: I was able to skip grades, and get my diploma...I received the qualifications to work as a doctor while I was in my teens.

*   *   *

Older doctor: “Alright, everyone, this is Lucas. He’s been assigned to work here starting today.” Teenage Lucas: “My name is Lucas Thompscie.” Teenage Lucas: “I look forward to working with you all.” Young doctor A: “Huh? That kid is a doctor?” Young doctor B: “Hey, this kid is still in his teens, isn’t he? Are you sure he’s fit to work here?” Teenage Lucas: (*sigh*...This again...) Teenage Lucas: (Why does everyone try to fit me into their idea of normal?) Teenage Lucas: (What’s wrong with being a doctor while you’re still a teenager...? As long as you have the skills, age shouldn’t matter.) Teenage Lucas: (Why can’t anyone understand something so obvious?) Teenage Lucas: (...Well, if I say that, everyone will just ignore me, so I’ll just keep it to myself.) Teenage Lucas: ...... Older doctor: “Hey, you two there. Take back what you just said about Lucas.” Teenage Lucas: (Huh...?) Older doctor: “Lucas is, as you two said, quite young.” Older doctor: “But he became a doctor after receiving his diploma, just like the rest of us.” Older doctor: “There’s no doubt that he worked hard until this day to achieve that...” Older doctor: “You have no reason to insult him.” Young doctor B: “I-Insult him...? We just...” Young doctor B: “No...we’re sorry. We were wrong.” Young doctor A: “Lucas, we’re sorry. Let us take back what we said.” Young doctor A: “Let’s work together, as fellow doctors.” Teenage Lucas: "U-Um...S-Sure...”

*   *   *

Muu: So that means that...that doctor was the first person to ever acknowledge you, right, Lucas? Lucas: That’s right. I was so happy then. Lucas: It felt like someone was recognising my existence for the first time. Lucas: I believed that, no one would restrain me here... Lucas: And that I could work freely while learning new things. Lucas: Actually, after that, everyone started treating me like an equal. It was a very comfortable working environment. Muu: Everyone was really nice, huh. Lucas: Yup. Lucas: And then, a few years after I had become a doctor... Lucas: My skills were held in high regard, and I was appointed to be the leader of the doctors, despite being the youngest. Muu: Huh! You suddenly became the leader?! >T-That’s amazing...

Lucas: However...I wasn’t cut out to be a leader. Muu: Why do you say that? Lucas: That’s because... Lucas: Until then, I had never learned how to act while adjusting myself to others. Lucas: As I worked together with my coworkers, and got involved with them... Lucas: I hadn’t the slightest idea how my abilities would hurt them.

*   *   *

-Some years after Lucas became a doctor-

Lucas: “Excuse me...did you finish writing the medical certificate for last week’s patient?” Fellow doctor A: “No, I haven’t yet. Sorry.” Lucas: “Huh? I’s been a week, you know?” Lucas: “Then, how about the trials for the anaesthetic that I researched and developed...?” Fellow doctor A: “Those...aren’t finished yet, either...” Lucas: “You haven’t even finished those either?” Lucas: “I can understand the medical certificate, but the anaesthetic could be important for future medical treatments...” Fellow doctor A: “You’re so irritating! I'm busy too, you know..” Fellow doctor A: “I can’t finish this huge amount of work!” Fellow doctor A: “And also...I have a wife and kid back home. I can’t just be spending all my time working!!” Lucas: “No, that’s not what I mean...” Lucas: “Why is it that you can’t even finish this mere amount of work?” Fellow doctor A: “Huh...? This...mere amount...of work, you say?” Lucas : “Yes. I mean, my workload is several times more than this.” Fellow doctor A: “You jerk...Are you trying to say I’m incompetent?” Lucas: “I wouldn’t say that...” Lucas: “(sighs) It’s fine.” Fellow doctor A: “What?” Lucas: “I’ll do the all the rest.” Lucas: “You can go home.” Fellow doctor A: “W-What are you saying?” Lucas: “Family is important, isn’t it? So, go ahead, you can home and relax.” Lucas: “If you can’t do it, then I’ll do it.” Lucas: “That would be best for our patients, wouldn’t it? Saving and helping people is our job, right?” Lucas: “Well then, I’ll be taking these documents.” Fellow doctor A: “L-Lucas...”

*   *   *

-Present day-

Lucas: And like that, after I became the leader... Lucas: I would take over whatever work my coworkers didn’t finish and just do it myself, without lending them a hand... Lucas: There would always be quarrels because of something inconsiderate I said. >I’m not sure how to react... >You were young back then...

Muu: Mmm... Muu: If Lucas from the past were my supervisor, I would definitely hate it... >Muu, be more considerate of others!

Lucas: It’s alright, Master. Lucas: I actually think the same. Lucas: Back then, I didn’t even try to understand other people’s emotions. Lucas: I didn’t even know how to be thoughtful of others in the first place.

>That’s a result of what you experienced in your childhood...

Muu: So, what happened after that? Lucas: It didn’t go well at all. Lucas: Everything fell apart on account of my becoming leader. Lucas: Well, I suppose it was hardly a surprise. Lucas: However... Lucas: Even I was quite hurt by it...

*   *   *

←Chapter 1 Chapter 3→

[wrenhyperfixates]

Loki Series Thoughts—The Variant

With the release of episode 2, I’m back with another analysis. Spoilers ahead!! This will be a combination of personal thoughts, theories, and objective analysis. This is overall, a positive review, so if you do not want to see that, I would not recommend continuing to read. I am however more than open to some friendly debate and discussion over any and all of the following points, whether you agree or disagree with them.

With all that being said, let’s dive in:

I feel gypped on the Holding out for a Hero fight scene. I mean, I liked how the scene was shot, especially with the whole loudspeaker thing (it set the mood very well), but where’s Loki fighting to that song?

Alright, I might as well address the elephant in the room: Is Loki OOC? Well, for my money, the answer is both yes and no. And I don’t mean to be wishy-washy; it really kind of depends on how you define OOC and/or who exactly you take this Loki to be.

What does OOC mean? To me, the literal definition of “out of character” would be the character acting in a way unlike they’ve been seen acting before. Likewise, according to Collins Dictionary it would be defined as “not typical of the apparent character of a person or thing.” Now, that’s a bit too black and white. What if you have a character in a new situation, how do you know how they’d react? By analyzing their past actions and seeing if they line up. And if you stop at this point and deem Loki entirely OOC, well you’re allowed to and that’s valid. I, however, would not say entirely is the word to use. Somewhat, yes, but not terribly and not inexcusably so. I’ll come back to this in a moment.

Who is this Loki? He’s the one right after the Avengers, of course, but he’s something different too. Think about it, the whole series is centered around how different choices can shape the very fabric of the universe. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that changes in Loki’s story would cause him to behave differently than what we’ve seen before? This is, in essence, a different Loki, albeit one who’s own narrative is shaped by a shared backstory with ours. It even says it on his jacket in big, bright letters: VARIANT. So while he shouldn’t be too dissimilar from the Loki we know, I do not think we can entirely look to the old to determine the new.

Now that we have that out of the way, we’re back to my somewhat noncommittal answer of the original question. Loki has some moments that seem OOC, but almost always has a (valid) reason for acting that way, both in and out of universe.

Loki’s OOC moments:

◦ The Renaissance Fair: And I by no means think this applies to his whole spiel. In fact, I think it was largely in character. What got me was “Which is absurd, because my people are, by nature, gullible fools. A trait that I, the God of Mischief, exploited time and time again simply by listening.” And then again, right after B-15 announces they are one unit away from red line. Though, my issue with the latter is how rushed it is. This could make sense because he’s worried about having time to finish his ploy. It’s a small thing to harp on for sure, though, for the point I am trying to make.

◦ In the hallway: This is where I think he’s most OOC. It feels rambley and pointless. More a desperate plea than a calculated last resort.

◦ With the librarian: I was hesitant to put this one in, but he seemed a bit unsure at points in his dialogue here. The inflection of his voice in the middle just sounded, like I said, unsure.

◦ The cafeteria (both times): More so in the first. The metaphor was, like Loki himself said, clumsy. But what I really think is OOC here is how excitable and obvious he is after Mobius concedes, “Not bad.” And the only thing on their second cafeteria chat is at the very end. His response of “I know” to being called clever, once again has an inflection to it that I would not typically associate with Loki—it’s too pronounced.

◦ Pompeii (beginning of scene only): Loki seems pretty flippant about the whole thing in the immediate moments after their arrival. (As an aside, I don’t think he’s necessarily unsympathetic here; he knows what happens and to keep himself safe and prove his point, he can’t branch the timeline.) To be quite honest, I think he might just be goading Mobius as he’s done to our God of Mischief many a time already.

◦ Before Roxxcart: He seems nervous, and his speech is a bit rushed again. Then again, this is something he wants—to be better. I’d think he’d be a bit more calm about it, though. Then again, with everything that’s happened recently, maybe it’s a natural response?

The reasons why he seems OOC:

◦ It’s on purpose: He knows what they think of him. If he plays into that, even in an exaggerated way, they’re not going to call bs on it.

◦ He’s been through a lot/Not our Loki: Like I mentioned earlier, not only is this a new environment, it’s a new Loki. He’s been shaped differently from our Loki because of how he was immediately thrust into the world of the TVA after many traumatic experiences.

◦ It’s an acting choice: No, it’s not one you have to agree with. But I believe Tom could be doing it to highlight moments where Loki is saying things he personally does not actually believe or that he knows others believe. Just to distinguish from the more calculated lying he does.

So, are there moments when Loki acts OOC? Yes. Is it inexplicable? No. Are the answers to those questions always the same from person to person? No, because like so many things, it’s all about how you frame it. And, of course, every person perceives each moment of time through their own eyes, with their own thoughts, in their own ways.

Loki has plenty of moments in character, too. In fact, I’d say he was overwhelmingly in character, for my understanding of it. In the earlier parts of the Renaissance Fair he is witty and lying with ease. At all other points that I didn’t mention, I found his vocabulary and inflection perfectly fine. I can’t think of any one moment his hand gestures particularly stuck out to me as out of place. And during his impromptu magic lesson, he seemed so sure of himself. He has snark without being rude. His interactions with “the variant” are on point. Even in the majority of the Pompeii scene, he’s not acting OOC, he’s just acting. He wanted to make an over-exaggerated splash to test his theory. Between that and speaking Latin, aren’t we seeing his cunning and wit?

Well, with that divisive and slightly negative topic out of the way, let’s move onto Mobius, his character, and his role in the show. He’s a bit different than the Mobius we see last time. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still moments where he seems to be manipulating Loki, or at least attempting to (the walk to the elevator; dangling a meeting with the Time Keepers in front of Loki’s face). In episode two, he’s presented as a victim. Mobius is just as much a slave to the “sacred timeline” as those living in it. He can’t go into the world and do the things he wants to do. Even any questions about time that Loki has, he answers seemingly by rote (perhaps drilled into his brain through propaganda?) or he can’t explain well (note, two times he somewhat hesitantly deems what Loki says as “an oversimplification”).

We’re also told that Mobius has a soft spot for broken things. That seems like a bold thing to say if Mobius hasn’t done something big before. Has he possibly ever used a variant like this before? Could he even possibly have a deeper connection to the rouge variant? Probably not on that second one, but it’s not wholly impossible. Though, going back to “has he done this before?” (and get ready for me to get absolutely insane now) do the rings on the table have deeper symbolic meaning pertaining to this? Yes, it could have just been for comedy, it may have just been a cool shot, but why put so much focus and emphasis on it like that with the camera and dialogue if it has no significance. Basically what I mean is, it’s symbolic of Mobius messing up. He messed up Renslayer’s table, maybe he botched a mission. Or maybe he even screwed up when working with another variant. Regardless of whether that’s symbolism, we do see him have a soft spot for the people at the hurricane shelter.

Mobius’s role in episode 1 was trying to break down Loki and recruit him. In this episode, he was more of a guide, more of a friend. Yes, there are lines like at Roxxcart when he says he knows he can’t be trusted, but there’s also a lot of camaraderie between the two. By the time Loki and Mobius are having their second chat in the cafeteria, they seem familiar with each other, engaging in what seems to be a friendly bout of verbal sparring. They seem, at very least, fond of each other, and I believe Mobius is, to some extent, on Loki’s side.

In fact, Mobius and Loki share something in common; they want something more than what the time keepers have preordained for them, even if Loki is more ready to admit that. Mobius is still, however, playing the part he’s been assigned, his “glorious purpose.” And, yes that includes some digs like that at Loki, whether Loki’s in the room or not, and whether they’re subtle or not. Is “I’ll delete him myself. He’s really arrogant.” really a dig though? I mean, it sounds like he could just be saying what Renslayer wants to hear. And when he talks about Loki wanting something more, wanting to change, I don’t think he’s actually talking about Loki. With the inflection and stage whisper, it almost sounds like he’s projecting. Remind you of anyone? Mobius will likely end up helping Loki, or may even turn into a tragic hero, his fatal flaw being his unwillingness to admit the TVA is not infallible.

The TVA workers. Isn’t odd how some of them have names and others don’t? Do they name themselves? More likely, I think whoever is in charge of a branch of the TVA gets a name, and all underlings get the less than human mix of letters and numbers with which to identify themselves. It also seems that the people with the most personality are the ones with names. B-15 has a personality, sure, but it’s more just in line with “I work for the TVA. This is what they want. I will do exactly that.” It’s almost lacking something that the named characters have lying beneath the surface of their character arc.

And then she gets enchanted, and if Wunmi Mosaku wasn’t already shining with the limited story for the character, oh boy she is now. When B-15 comes to, she is scared. It’s on her face and in that little shuddered breath. And when asked what happened, she seemed so unsure, timid. I’m definitely interested to see how that progresses!

Back to the workers in general, they didn’t seem as sad about their coworkers this episode as in the last. Even with C-20 it seemed to be a respect thing. I mean, they reset the timeline with their colleagues lying dead on the floor. I think in a lot of scenarios, dead soldiers would be given a proper burial.

Ravonna Renslayer and the time keepers. Renslayer is even more steadfastly devoted to the sacred timeline and the time keepers than anyone else. Why? Well, I think it’s because she is the time keepers. Any time they’re brought up, it’s quickly explained away with a simple “they’re busy.” That’s because they’re not real. But Renslayer sure seems chummy with them, huh? What other reason then its her timeline she has everyone protecting.

Then again, she may only be second in command, but not to the time keepers. (I mean, omniscient and omnipotent beings who are relatively aloof and unreachable? They’re perfectly set up to be revealed as not real. Plus the constant non-answers when it comes to them, I’ll be more surprised if they’re real than if they’re not.) But in the comics, her plot line is interwoven with that of Kang the Conqueror, a time traveler, among many other things. Even more likely than her being in charge, is him being in charge.

And now for the variant. It’s not Lady Loki, we all know that right? Ok, that comes off a bit harsh, but she is listed as Sylvie in the credits for languages other than English. This was also who Sophia Di Martino was previously listed as on IMDb. I won’t get into her story in the comics now, but I’d bet we’ll take elements of that in her story in the series. And if you’re still not convinced that’s who this is, why have her blonde? It just doesn’t make sense to change that about her. Plus, Sylvie takes on the name of Enchantress. What does Loki say her powers are? Enchantments. She doesn’t want to be called Loki either. She does say the main Loki variant is her, but if she’s framing him or taking on his persona for her crimes, why stop now? Her language is distinctly un-Loki like, too. She also boldly declares “This isn’t about you.” And finally, there’s the foreshadowing in Loki’s line, “I would never treat me like this.”

I only wonder what her motives are. Is she looking for revenge on the Loki from her timeline? Or perhaps she’s working fo him? Maybe he’s dead and she’s avenging him? Or he’s alive and she wants to grab his attention? Maybe she has motives all her own. And what of Mephisto? Does he actually play a part in this? I’m just spitballing, I need more information.

When Loki finds the file. No. Like. Give a detailed description of this please!!!!! He thinks he’s evil. That he causes all that death with malicious intent. Even if he doesn’t, there’s clear pain over the destruction of Asgard. And look at his eyes, the only thing we’re shown as he process the information fully for the first time. He’s hurt, confused. Disappointed and angry with himself. The bit we’re shown of his face before it zooms in on his eyes portrays this too. He looks so lost in that shot. And he looks to be tearing up a bit.

Maybe I’m just being dumb, but what does it mean 9,719 casualties? Didn’t they all escape? His face as the scene zooms back out is... defeated. Scared. Scarred. He’s barely holding it together. Then something else catches his eye, giving him an idea. And I’m sure more than anything he wants to be distracted from the storm in his mind. So yeah, he’ll happily throw himself into his work. The epiphany on his face as he’s still recovering and discovering new things is just so perfect too.

The confrontation at Roxxcart. This was really well done, I felt. Loki felt in character, and he was fighting smartly, using what he could. Because clearly the enchantment also lent Sylvie’s powers to the person. But Loki manages to hang in there and dig for information while keeping the battle going.

He gets mad, too. He starts yelling. And that makes sense. He wants answers, and for so long he’s been denied them; it’s a recurring theme in his life. He’s losing control of himself a bit here. And that’s a large part of the reason why he goes through the time door. Loki doesn’t want to lose control again. I don’t even know if it was exactly a betrayal of the TVA. I don’t think he’s on their side, but I think he just saw that he couldn’t lose the variant again. Because for what he says his plan is, he wouldn’t have followed the variant. However, he does because he wants answers.

What about that plan though? I’m working a bit in reverse with this scene I realize, but bear with me. That look on his face as he stands, it’s calculating. I think he’s lying about his plan. I think he’s trying to bring the variant in, not work with them.

Also, I’m so concerned for C-20. What’s real? I want to know!! But we’re already getting a feel for Sylvie’s powers. The people she enchants live, but they’ve seen something they’d rather not. What other reason is there for the similar way B-15 and C-20 act? And I know she mentions telling Sylvie the time keeper’s location, but really, it’s their location to her knowledge. It doesn’t necessarily mean they exist. Or maybe it’s just Kang.

And Mobius at the very end of this scene, the very end of the confrontation, the very end of the episode. The last thing is him calling after Loki. And he sounds genuine, almost. It didn’t sound like he was fearful for his own life, but rather more worried for Loki. Though, maybe I have that confused and it’s worried about Loki. Whatever the reason, it sounded like genuine fear in his voice to me.

Finally, some random thoughts that didn’t fit anywhere:

Gugu Mbatha-Raw is so talented. I mean, I got a lot of emotion from Renslayer. Confident and proper at the beginning, panicked and afraid at the end. Even in her talks with Mobius, there’s many subtleties to pick apart. I think it’s heavily implied through her words and actions that she’s evil.

The casual magic use was great. Hope there’s more.

Why do setting off reset charges in the main timeline have a different effect than setting them off in the branch timelines? Like shouldn’t it wipe it, not make branches?

Loved all the rapport happening in the episode. There was a lot of good dialogue.

Despite the manipulations going on, I like the relationship forming between Mobius and Loki. I think they make a nice little duo.

I love all the Loki variants we’re shown. Very, very interesting. Just give us Jötunn Loki for real, please.

Loki was very clever this episode, particularly with figuring out you could hide in an apocalypse and at Roxxcart.

Does Roxxcart have a link to Roxxon?

Their little motto thing is a bit creepy. “For all time. Always.” Sounds like it’s just part of their propaganda.

“You see, I know something children don’t. No one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.” I love this line. Seriosuly, why not use this sound bite in the trailers? Loki himself is morally gray, and I love that we’re addressing this fact of life; the world is not all black and white, not all good and bad.

CASEY!!!

In the second cafeteria scene, there is a guard in full armor just standing there. I guess they’re monitoring the employees. How likely does whoever is in charge think it would be for an uprising of sorts to happen?

Between sleepy Loki, him putting that jacket on, his hair, that talking to himself and that annoyed little shh in the library, and just being the happy goof that he is deep down (Miss Minutes scene and salad metaphor) Loki was just so adorable this episode.

I think it’s important Mobius said sorry when talking about ragnarok. He knows Loki cares.

Mobius does kind of understand Loki when saying he has an “insecure need for validation.” He’s right, honestly, albeit harsh. But that’s all he wanted throughout the Thor movies too, not to be looked down upon. To be treated as equal. As worthy.

Of Mobius’s two options for why he’s sticking his neck out for Loki, I think they both hold some truth.

Interesting how TVA agents like to keep souvenirs from lives they can never live. Though maybe Renslayer keeps them for a different reason. Like from timelines that were particularly a threat to order—her order.

The score is still on point. Loving the theremin.

Wow an explanation pertaining to time travel I’ve found no holes in. It’s unstable and they have to enter in real time (furthest point on the branch) because of that. Ok, yeah. Checks out.

I’m so glad they kept the title card from last week. I like it so much better than the one from the trailers, and it fits the vibe of the show better.

Is it bad I want all these new branches to red line? I think it seems a little too early into the show for that to happen, but maybe a few of them will? Perhaps improbable but not impossible. But think of the chaos! What better playground for the God of Mischief than a universe thrown into disarray.

And now, my final thoughts. A very good episode with a mainly in character Loki. I like how we’re slowly learning more with what’s going on, while still keeping an element of mystery. Though, Marvel’s twists aren’t landing as well as I think they were hoping (assuming I’m right of course. I’ve seen plenty of other people who were thinking along the same lines though, so). It’s lacking a certain je ne sais quoi that Glorious Purpose had, but I still enjoyed it. Overall, 8/10. Let’s just hope my rating doesn’t go down point with every episode.

Like something I said? Totally disagree? Really want to talk more about one point? Whatever it is, I’d love to hear! Reblogs and comments are appreciated. My ask box is always open, and anon is always on. I look forward to hearing your thoughts! Thanks :)

Me, after not liking one, but two episodes:

[anzcty]

Analysing Episode 6 Sylvie - her actions, her choice and a whole bunch of theories (Spoilers!)

After watching the Loki finale, I have been scrolling through Tumblr for quite a long time. I already knew that people's opinions were gonna be incredibly different but I definitely did not expect this much negative backlash. Especially when it comes to two specific topics - the Sylvie and Loki kiss and Sylvie's betrayal (/choice/actions). I'm gonna be talking about the latter, for it is another time I'll talk a lot about Sylki's relationship. (Beware that this post is also really long though)

First of all, everyone has different opinions and I respect that. I absolutely adore movies, books, TV-shows and videogames because despite what's happening within the story, each viewer has the opportunity to see something else in what they are shown (besides the obvious canon). What I mean is that everyone interprets certain scenes differently and gains the opportunity to make up theories. Therefore I want to clarify that I do, by no means, want to force my views upon others. It's nice to see people talk about the Loki Series (as long as it doesn't get too negative and hateful, iykwim) because every viewer can share their specific experiences with it :)

I'm gonna analyse Sylvie's character a bit ( because, well, I'm bored and I kinda wanna protect my beloved character that I've only had for a few weeks >:^0 AND the only thing I could think about the past day was this episode) and try to explain her actions in the finale (keep in mind: not justifying them, but explaining them).

I'm terribly bad at concentrating on one single topic point so I kinda made a 'list' with questions and whatnot that I wanted to dive deeper into. Your thoughts are also more than welcome!

I already want to apologise for grammatical mistakes, for I am not a native english speaker.

Sylvie's reason for being taken away by the TVA is still kinda unknown

You know, I've heard quite a few theories about Sylvie's nexus event by now. Some people say that she got taken away because she was playing with her toys in a way that indicates her having a good heart (playing as a Valkyrie and wanting to save someone, another hint may also be the reaction she showed towards someone else who got kidnapped by the TVA, yelling at the soldiers to "help them out"). Another theory is that she already knew she was adopted, unlike Loki who found out way later than her. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but we never got to hear the actual reason why Sylvie got kidnapped. Even Renslayer didn't say a word about it.

Now I'm gonna come up with yet another theory. What if Sylvie didn't really have a nexus event in the first place how we know it? In the final episode, Kang has said that he has planned out everything beforehand so both Loki and Sylvie would end up right in front of him. Did Kang's plan also possibly involve him getting killed by Sylvie? Hear me out: We don't actually know if the Kang we saw in episode 6 is the actual 'nice' Kang and not one of his evil variants. He has already talked about 'reincarnation', so who says that after ending the first universial war, Kang didn't reincarnate into someone with an unpure heart (aka, one of his evil variants)? That'd mean that the real Kang would have been killed and the Kang we've seen in the finale is actually an evil version that simply lied to both Loki and Sylvie. Besides that, we also don't know if Kang actually had that 'point' where he didn't know what would happen next. The show revolves a whole lot around trust, not only regarding the characters, but also the viewers. Who's to say that Kang said the truth? Maybe he planned it all out: He created the TVA, let Sylvie get kidnapped and therefore give her a reason to hunt after Kang, who in return could reincarnate if he got killed OR get killed and therefore give his other variants a possibility to conquer the universes yet again. Don't you think that it was kinda suspicious that Sylvie escaped so easily out of Renslayer's hands? The one person who's probably closest to Kang? (Even though, yes, she doesn't know who he is but Renslayer seems to play a very important role in his plan). What if the Kang we saw was the nice Kang though? Would he plan everything up to a point where another universial war would break out because he might know that there is indeed something/someone out there who could end it and therefore, possibly end Kang as a whole or create a new kind of system revolving around the universe? And therefore, get rid of the possibility of another universial war happening? Who knows. I am definitely overthinking and reaching at this point. One more thing that stood out to me while thinking about the episode again today (which kinda weighs more into my theory of Sylvie being a keypoint (or rather a puppet) in this plan): Kang has talked about his Tempad and that he knew that he would need it to have enough energy. But for what? Yes, his initial idea was to give it to Loki and Sylvie to rule over the TVA, but what if it was supposed to be used for another reason? Sylvie used it to transport Loki back to the TVA (though I kinda think he was accidentally transported to another timeline, hence the reactions of both Mobius and Hunter B-15) and therefore get rid of the only thing that could prevent Sylvie from killing Kang. The Tempad was used to secure Sylvie's path and therefore eradicated Kang's only option of safety. You can see the Tempad loosing it's glow after Kang was killed, possibly due to Kang himself being the origin of it's energy. But maybe, it only had enough energy for one specific action: getting rid of Kang's protection. I do think that Sylvie is now stuck at this place and somehow has to find a way back to Loki's reality. The Tempad clearly doesn't work anymore (at least in my opinion) and there was quite a long shot showing the Tempad up close, which is kinda suspicious tbh. Also, something regarding Sylvie's unanswered nexus event feels kinda odd to me, too.

My theory in conclusion: Sylvie (and Loki) are unconciously helping Kang with his plan (a big, big, BIG plan). They're his puppets, especially Sylvie, because she's the one who created the Multiverse to begin with. Think about Loki, who was said to be manipulated by Thanos in Avengers? It's basically the same train of thoughts.

Sylvie does not take Kang's offer into consideration

To be honest, this was something to be absolutely expected of her. Sylvie was kidnapped as a child, taken away from her home and family, and had to grow up in countless apocalypses where she could never form a real bond with anybody because she knew that those people were all going to die anyway. (Please don't judge me if I got that wrong, maybe I understood the next thing wrong? Idk, if so, I'm very sorry) She revealed that she was kidnapped way before Loki was even born (something I have to think about, too, because, if Loki is the actual Loki the other variants are based off, why did he exist after Sylvie? Wouldn't that make him a variant of Sylvie instead? Idk timelines and parallel universes are hard to understand for me :') I'm kinda stoopid ), therefore she must've had spent several decades of her life running away. She had no life at all. Her only goal was to bring down the TVA and whoever is behind it, driven by pure rage, seeking out revenge for stealing her life and basically forbidding her existence. And now that she has found said person, the only thing that'd be right for her character would be to go for the kill. As immoral as it may sound, it is the only thing that makes sense. And I am actually very happy that Sylvie's goals didn't change besides the fact that she did indeed soften up a little and has gotten someone really close to her. In contrary, it makes sense for Loki to do the exact opposite. His goals have changed. He does not act the way he did in Thor or Avengers anymore. He has found another goal for himself: to make Sylvie feel alright. He has had immense character growth and didn't take a chance to change his goals back in the Thor movies or in Avengers, (....maybe later in Thor: Ragnarok, kinda). This is exactly what I think might happen to Sylvie, too. She is at the beginning of her character arc. She doesn't take the chance to change her goal, but goes for her original goal instead. Said goal does not really have positive consequences (though, maybe it might have some? We're about to find out), which results in a so called 'negative character development', which Loki has already gone through. I think that Sylvie is gonna grow as a character in season 2 and get a positive character development in addition, just like Loki did. I highly doubt that she's gonna become the antagonist, it does not make sense at this point.

Why does she not take Kang's offer (besides her very obvious intention ofc)? That leads straight (or not so straight, pun intended) to the next thing I wanna talk about. Sylvie's distrust in everything and everyone. Besides not wanting to let other people go through what she has been gone through and wanting to let people have a free will, she also does not trust Kang with his offer of 'ruling' the timeline. And it might be because she also does not trust the one she'd be ruling with: Loki.

Why does Sylvie not trust Loki?

I don't even have a specific answer to that, except that Sylvie has an incredibly thick wall built up around her. Loki has always been portrayed as the one you should not trust because he's known for backstabbing people. Loki could have thought the same about Sylvie, but he didn't. Due to his character arc, he himself has learned to trust other people and tries to redeem himself with making himself a person others can trust (He may project that onto Sylvie, meaning that he puts his trust into a Loki variant and therefore in himself, too). You can connect that fact with both Sylvie and Mobius. They're both people who are incredibly important to Loki. He wants them to trust him. He openly told Sylvie about his mistakes and tells her that he's not that person anymore. Sylvie on the other hand does not trust that easily and is - in my opinion - a very important key regarding Loki's character development. It is incredibly hard for Sylvie to trust others (probably due to her trauma) and it therefore creates a very difficult situation for Loki, where he has to 'prove' himself as trustworthy. It's basically about 'trusting yourself' if you put it that way. It's something Loki has to learn about himself: not betraying the trust of others. Sylvie might have to learn something like this, too: learning to trust someone else. It's kinda like a two sided coin - one side is about putting trust in others, whereas the other is about gaining trust from others (and what you do with it). (Good) Relationships in general are always based off trust and honesty. So in order for them to be able to have healthy relationships with others and themselves, they have to learn about trust within themselves (I hope you understand my point, I got carried away, sorry). Loki started to trust Sylvie very easily (maybe because of love? Maybe because of something else? There are still a lot of unanswered questions) whereas Sylvie doesn't trust Loki very easily. Sylvie's character arc might (hopefully) carry on with this topic in the next season.

Was that kiss initiated due to emotional or practical reasons?

Kinda both, somehow. I do think that Sylvie used the kiss to her advantage but you can also clearly see how moved she is while hearing Loki's words. Facial expressions are insanely important when it comes to acting and both Tom and Sophia delivered perfectly. You might've already heard of the quote "The eyes tell more than words could ever say". Look at Sylvie's face when Loki tells her that he wants her to be okay. She is teary eyed, sighs even. She is indeed touched by his words and I strongly think that Sylvie also has non-platonic feelings for Loki, despite barely showing anything.

Here's a snippet out of an interview with Sophia:

(Source)

Both Sylvie and Loki are said to be people who can not trust others. They both have a vulnerable side though. Loki clearly showed that several times when with Sylvie (singing to her, the blanket scene, the comfort scene in the room of the timekeepers, the confession of wanting her to be okay) and is also shown incredibly vulnerable at the end of episode 6: there are several shots showing him, crying. Sure, we have already seen Loki cry a few times beforehand but this time, it's different. He cries because the one person he is the most vulnerable with doesn't trust him, and that does hurt like hell. By the way, if you look at the close-up shot of Sylvie after she yeeted Loki back into the TVA, you can see pain in her eyes, too. But that pain quickly shifts into rage and determination. Something that I have to admit was incredibly well executed by Sophia and the people who directed this shot. Sylvie does show her vulnerable side for a brief moment before putting up her walls again and reaching for her goal.

In conclusion: I think Sylvie initiated the kiss as an emotional response to Loki's words but also used it to distract him to be able to kick him back into the TVA at the same time. Keep in mind that it was because he was in her way of fullfilling her goal. She didn't want to kill or hurt him, so she sent him away instead. So, yes, I think the kiss had both emotional and practical intentions.

Did Sylvie betray Loki?

Even though it really felt like she betrayed him, she didn't. Let me tell you why:

Loki knew exactly what Sylvie was gonna do after reaching the person behind the TVA. Loki supported her all the way up until Kang suggested a deal to them, that's where Loki's and Sylvie's paths divided. Loki is a very smart character, he outsmarts a lot of Marvel characters and therefore I think it's very in character for him to consider one part of the deal and outweigh the pros and cons. Not because he wants the throne, no, but because he wants Sylvie to be okay. A universial war could lead to countless casualties - possibly those people close around him, so of course he would want to keep her safe through that decision. Making them both rulers over the TVA and the sacred timeline would probably guarantee a strong protection from several threats. Also, maybe he thought about the possibility of Sylvie regretting her decision (which she clearly did in the end) and wanted to protect her from even more emotional pain. But as we know, Sylvie's intention has always been laid out in front of her and it didn't change. Loki knew what choice she was going to make and merely tried to change her way - without being successfull.

I don't really know what to think about this scene though. To me, it doesn't meet the requirements of a 'betrayal' but at the same time it does feel like one. It's very difficult to explain :'D

Also, I've seen some people asking themselves how or if Loki will ever be able to forgive Sylvie for making her decision. Let me assure you one thing: he will forgive her. He has said it himself: "I know what you're feeling, I know what you're going through". He has been at Sylvie's point, too. Not only once, but several times already. He seems to have learned from his mistakes, Sylvie has yet to do so. ("I betrayed everyone I've ever loved" is a line to keep in mind now, too. Maybe it could even be projected onto Sylvie this time, because Loki is indeed very dear to her) If there's someone out there who can empathise with Sylvie the most, it is Loki.

Why would Sylvie straight up cause another Universial War?

As I already said. Sylvie's arc is a negative character arc. It does not end well and causes a lot of chaos. Think about Peter Quill in Infinity War and his rage moment on Titan. They could have had the infinity gauntlet way before but Peter got emotional (understandable) and therefore destroyed the chance of an early good ending. The same happened with Sylvie. Her decision was mostly emotional, but also practical on the other hand (giving people free will and freedom). She will face the consequences and I'm pretty sure she's gonna redeem herself and tries to help fix the big mess she has caused.

Sylvie's breakdown

Another scene that was absolutely brilliant was the scene after Sylvie has killed Kang. She backs off slowly and then slumps to the ground, breathing heavily (now that I think about it, I think she even started to cry). She has waited for this moment her whole life, but now that it's done, it kinda feels like she didn't exactly get what she needed. Hunter B-15 has already mentioned it before that Sylvie needs to hunt the person behind the TVA down, unlike Renslayer, who only wants to find out who it really is. Although Sylvie might have recognized that this wasn't everything she needed at this point. We already got to know that she didn't have a clue what to do after she's done with the TVA. She didn't have a goal beyond that. And now that she has reached the point where she is clueless, she might have recognized what she really needed beyond finishing her goal: friends, a life, literally anything that doesn't make her feel alone. And she literally just kicked that one thing away from her. Loki, the one person who has been closest to her and gave her the feeling of not being alone anymore, the feeling of having a friend (or someone more than a friend), has been pushed away by herself. I think that in this exact moment where she sinks to the ground she recognizes that not trusting Loki was a mistake this time and that revenge isn't enough to satisfy her forever.

But maybe that one thing that will satisfy her for a long time is something she's returning back to in season 2. I am so excited to see her again and find out more about Sylvie's character!

Thank you so much for reading this! If you want to add something to this list or correct something or anything, feel free to do so. I'd love to hear your thoughts on Sylvie's character in the finale and what you think might happen with her in season 2 :) see y'all, stay safe and have a nice day/night!

[isolenmlyswear69]

Collide [Teaser] ~ a JJ Maybank x OC fanfic

Warning: cursing, bad grammar, not prof read

A/N: I left tumblr for a while to take a break from everything and decided to write in my free time and came up with this, dont worry I’ll get right to answering your guys ask just wanted to share this

Paring: JJ Maybanks x OC

Word count: 18.1K

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The sun peeked through the curtains of the chateau,making me squint before rolling over and tucking my head deeper into the pillow groaning deeply as i heard a a low chuckle and John b’s voice echoed through the house seemingly louder then it was,

“Morning Sunny,” he said laughing at how I rolled myself deeper into the makeshift bed as he headed outside, most likely to chill on the hammock. I grumbel to myself and sat up, rubbing my eyes before I leaned back, stitching my back, hearing a couple of pops before sitting up and cracking my eyes open. Swinging my legs over the side of the couch, setting my feet on the trash covered ground moving an empty beer can with my toe so i could set my foot down. Standing up, letting my shirt that i had wore yesterday fall back over my jean shorts as i stretch my arms up above my head letting a small tremor roll through my body while my muscles finally woke up, i let my arms drop back down letting a small sigh out before shuffling into the kitchen, around the bar counter heading straight towards the fridge, pulling the door open leaning down before reaching my hand in shuffling around past the cases of beer looking for something a less likely to edge on the headache was already starting to form in the front of her head. I set my sights on the orange juice that was near the back of the fridge, grabbing the neck of the bottle dragging it out of the fridge,praying it isn't out of date. Knowing the boys it most likely was but hey why not be an optimist right? I turned leaning my hips onto the counter unscrewing the cap and bringing it to my lips, before tipping it up taking a big swig. I can say that was the worst decision i made that day, i quickly leaned towards the sink spitting it out as fast as i could quickly turning on the sink, sticking my face under the faucet bringing the water into my mouth swishing it around before spitting that out leaning back up head still tilting down towards the sink. I reached up my arm and shut the sink off before grabbing the bottle of orange juice and emptying it out in the sink. All i can say is fuck optomistic people they are crazy and dont know the fine line betwen optimisum and insanity. I let out a grumble as I worked my way around the chateau, thinking I could just take a walk to the store and grab a tea or something that was actually digestible. I grumbled to myself as i suffered to the guest bedroom in the chateau, before slamming my fist against the door a couple time,

“ i left my wallet in there so i'm giving you 3 seconds to get decent then i'm coming in for it “ i say loudly, my voice still scratchy from the lack of sleep i had gotten last night. thanks to the pogues party habits it was hard to get sleep during summer, not that i minded i'm always down for a party, the aftermath still sucks major ass let's be honest. I grab the handle turning it quickly pushing in the door and walking in the room quick heading straight for the dresser near the window spotting my wallet easily i swiped it off the dresser turning on my heels, my eyes were meet with the blue ones of jj, him and another girl, i hadn't seen this one before and i didn't really care enough to stay and figure out what she looked like. I simply smirked knowingly at jj before waving off his wink strutting out of the room, closing the door on my way out. JJ and i have a odd history i can tell you that, but that never stopped us from being close, we had a lot in common when we had first meet and had remained close ever since, maintaining a almost more than friendly relationship but never anything more than a flirting glace was ever shared between us. I head back to where i had made my makeshift bed, plopping down on the bead throwing my socks and shoes that i had put beside the bed on, placing my wallet in my back pocket and snatching my phone of the ground by the pillows before strutting out of the house, seeing john b. peacefully sitting on the hammock,

“Your going to poison people with the shit in your fridge, i'm going to the store to restock i'll be back in a little” i call out to him, seemingly starling him out of whatever thought he was in.

“Can you grab some skinny pop?” he called back sitting up, i put my thumb up in the air so he could see as i walked off towards the store already lost in my own thoughts. Before i knew it my feet had brought me to my destination, snapping me out of my tance of scrolling through instagram lost in thought. I looked up from my phone, tucking it in my back pocket and grabbing my shitty old leather wallet i had gotten from my dad for my 14th birthday decorated with pins from where he traveled do for his gigs, him being a famous musician and all he wasn't always home leaving me to do whatever i wished, he would text and tell me to be safe but other than hard drugs and teen pregnancy he was fine as long as whatever i did i did it safely or told him before or after doing it. He is just chill, and we got along great because of it. I pushed the door open causing the bells on the door to jingle, and a faint

“Hello, let me know if I can help you find anything” from the direction of the counter. I let out a small hum, giving a closed mouth smile in that direction, heading to the snack aisle, grabbing two bags of skinny pop, a bag of nacho doritos, and a bag of salted almonds, before heading to the drink aisle grabbing 6 arizona teas, and two snapples for myself knowing that a snapple can fix a hangover if mixed with a vitamin c packet, correctly that is. I shuffled back up to the front, gently putting everything up on the counter, looking up smiling at the boy at the counter, he smiled back before scanning my items quickly,

“wait “ i called out louder than expected making him flinch and look up, i quickly stuck my hand in back pocket pulling out the lump of yarn unfolding it revealing a crochet bag, widespread between each knots, holding it out the the young boy before smiling,

“Can you put my stuff in here? You know how bad the pollution can get with those plastic bags and the ocean” i giggled as he nodded slowly gently taking the bag from my hands, smiling a small smile at me before loading my stuff up and telling me a price, i fished out the money and payed him before grabbing my bag slinging it over my shoulder and walking out of the store, heading back to the chateau.

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When I arrived back at the chateau, John b. Was still laying out on the hammock, i gently walked over to him , reaching into my bag and pulling out a skinny pop and handing it to him, before smiling as he tore it open like a starving child and dug in,

“Thank you” he said popcorn bits flying out of his already full mouth, causing my nose to scrunch up in disgust, i simply shook my head and headed back inside waving at him. As i walked in the house i saw kie still asleep on the couch, i giggled quietly at her before moving around the couch heading to the kitchen to find pope searching the fridge,

“Dude don't bother i already tied and got poisoned by the orange juice” i giggled setting the bag of snacks on the counter grabbing two arizona out and pushing the bag towards him, pope turned and examined the goods before grabbing the bag of doritos and a snapple, before smiling at me

“Thank you, you are truly and life saver” i giggled at the comment before heading back to the spare bedroom to see the door open, i strut in to see jj leaning back on the pillow hair a mess, no shirt just his boxers barely covered by the thin sheet on the guest bed, his vape in his hand.

“Sup loser, i brought you sum tea” i said to him strutting to the side of the bead he was on, holding a hand out with the tea in it, jj looked up, his ocean blue eyes meeting mine before a sly smirk spread across his face,

“Come ‘ere” he said grabbing my waist pulling me down onto the bed, both of erupting into giggles as i land on my back next to him his torso still leaning over me, his hair dangling down, framing his face perfectly, his dimples in his perfectly tanned face,his- NO damit sunny stop it he's your friend, i had noticed both of our laughter had died down and we were both just smiling at one another. I scrunch my nose up before dropping the Arizona in one of my hands before using it to shove it his face away from me groaning at the smirk he gave me when he leaned onto his side, raising his eyebrows at me.

“Just shut up and drink your damn tea” I said , handing him one. Grumbling to myself as i popped the lid of mine open and took a sip from it, i sighed laying back onto the bed and closing my eyes just enjoying the sounds of nature , and jj gulping down the cold beverage like no tomorrow, i sighed, rolling over to the side of the bed, swinging my legs over the side looking down when my feet hit something thin and soft. My eyes gaze down to see JJ's muscle tee laying on the floor, sighing. I reach down, swiping it off the ground and balling it up. Turning slightly to see JJ scrolling on his phone and a crushed, now empty, Arizona can sitting on the bedside table beside him. I ball up his shirt before throwing it with a little power behind it, it flew through the air and fan itself out as it plopped on his head causing him to pick off the piece of clothing on his head and give me a look of confusion.

“Get dressed i'm sure everyones ready to go out on the water for the day already and you're lagging” I say standing up and flashing him a smile before heading back to the kitchen to get some chips before the other pogues ate them all.

[harunayuuka2060]

An MC who was raised by Solomon as a abandoned child but he left just as soon as they were old enough to handle themselves with no explanation as to why. So by the time they meet again at the exchange program, MC ignores Solomon and both feel conflicted with each other. How would the Demon Brothers + Undateables react to MC confessing to their past with everyone, with Solomon overhearing in the background with MC about how they wish to go back together as a family again, to call him father again, but is afraid to admit it to him, thinking he left them because he hated them.

(Forgive me for the little bit of angst, I woke up like 2am and that thought immediately came to mind. XD)

“Hi~ From now on, I will be your father.” That’s the first time you have met him. He had adopted you from an orphanage. You found him suspicious at first, but you eventually liked him because of his clumsiness and awful jokes.

“Solomon...” You called. He gave you an apologetic look. “Hehe... I just... tried...” His voice faltered when you pointed to the destroyed kitchen. 

“Sorry.”

You were just nine years old and you were already comfortable in his presence. Even though you were basically cats and dogs inside the house, you have treated him as your real father... 

But one day, he told you to go shopping. “Here’s the money. Buy whatever you want.”

You looked at him confused. “Um, are you sure? This is a lot.” He smiled and said, “You should learn how to handle money from now on.” 

At that time, you didn’t understand. But when you came back, he wasn’t there to welcome you... All of his belongings were gone, even the pictures of him... Like he erased everything about him.

---------------------------------------------------------

“MC, we have noticed that you and Solomon never talk.” Simeon asked with a worried tone. Him and the others had called you to discuss things. It actually started when you first came to Devildom, and they still remember how your eyes widened upon seeing Solomon and you running out from the council room. Luke and Mammon had also seen you crying in one of the empty rooms in RAD. Lucifer and Diavolo had also noticed the odd behavior of Solomon when he sees you walking in the corridor, like how he would walk the other way just to avoid you.

You let out a half-hearted laugh, “It’s nothing really important.” 

“If it is not important, you wouldn’t act like that, MC.” Lucifer stated, giving you a serious look. “We’re here to help you and you just have to be honest.” You bite your lower lip and began telling your history with Solomon.

“I met Solomon when I was five. My parents abandoned me in an orphanage and he was the one who adopted me... We had lived like a father and child. I would take care of him since he cannot cook proper food and him, on the other hand, would support me financially.” You paused when you felt someone rubbing your back, it was Satan. 

“Continue.”  You nodded and smiled. “But when I turned ten, he disappeared. He just told me that I should go shopping, giving me huge amount of money. I was honestly excited at that time...” Tears started to prickle your eyes. Lucifer and Diavolo were looking at you right now with concern and a hidden hatred for Solomon. 

“I-I even bought his favorite shirt... That stupid Sailor Moon shirt he really liked back then. B-But when I got home... He wasn’t there...” This time, your tears were flowing freely on your face. Mammon and Levi were already crying while Beel and Belphie were listening intently, waiting for you to go on.

“MC, then what do you want to do with Solomon? Do you hate him?” Simeon asked softly. You shook your head. 

“No... I never hated him. I missed him. I wanted to hug him when I saw him again here in Devildom... But I couldn’t...” You were wiping the tears from your face as you felt your voice quivered. “I am afraid that he actually hates me that’s why he left-!” 

“I want Solomon to be my father again-!” Your sobbing were echoed inside the room after saying that. 

Meanwhile, Solomon was clutching his chest after hearing what you have said. Asmo had texted him to go there and he never expected that was what he was going to hear. 

“I missed you too, MC.” He said softly. Tears already dripping from his eyes. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you sure about this, Solomon? Are you really going to leave MC alone?” Michael asked when he visited him at his house. They were in your room and you were sound asleep. . 

“I have to, Michael. I have just realized that if I stayed with MC a little bit longer, they will never have a normal life. I only want happiness for them because they’re my child.” He said, lightly caressing your cheek. 

“So you are afraid that they might suffer because you’re a sorcerer?” 

“Yes. If other witches and sorcerers found out about MC, they will use them against me.” Michael nodded since it was the truth. You were his weakness and so, leaving you would be the best solution he could think of.

[arashikitten]

The Light that Burns Twice as Bright Burns Half as Long

   When Macaque had first spotted the kid, he had immediately been drawn to him. The aura that seemed to flicker from him was warm, bright and comforting like a ray of sunlight in the afternoon. It was strong and silly, like a child’s laughter, but there was power hidden there, raw and ancient and monstrous, like that of a malicious trickster deity toying with humanity for the hell of it.

   The realization snapped into him only when he finally noticed the ornate, red and gold staff strapped to the kid’s back, the familiarity slamming into him with the force of a crashing mountain, crushing him beneath it’s oppressive wieght.

That was Wukong’s staff. The Monkey King’s most well known weapon and source of power.

   And it was being wielded by a child. Anger had bubbled in Macaque then, simmering and burning away at the corners of his vision like lava.

   He’d contemplated, then, whether or not he should just kill the boy then and there and be done with the day. It would be so simple, just a quick snap of the neck. Humans were so fragile, it was honestly a miracle they had lasted so long in the face of much more powerful, demonic creatures.

   Macaque had dismissed the idea almost as quickly as it came. No, the boy would likely be more useful to him alive. Macaque lifted one of his paws, and quickly summoned the small purple seal. He grinned before clenching his fist, extinguishing it in a small trail of smoke.

   Yes, that was a much better idea than killing him outright. Sure, it would require patience, and a lot of acting on his part, but if all went according to plan…

   Macaque backed into the dark shadows of the alleyway, reveling in the darkness they brought as they consumed him. A sharp smirk grew on his face.

   Watching Wukong’s face as he destroyed him with his own powers would be so much more satisfying than just killing some kid.

———————  ———————  ———————  ———————

   His first real meeting with the kid had been��� interesting. Everything had gone according to plan, of course: catch the kid’s attention with a shadow clone avatar, have the avatar beat him, show up and defeat the avatar while looking as cool as possible. The kid had been impressed, and Macaque could feel the admiration pouring off of him in waves as he had scrambled to the top of the building Macaque was on.

   It was a nice feeling.

   One that had been completely shattered when the kid had realized he wasn’t Wukong, and had ever so kindly pointed that out.

   But Macaque, with his impressive self-restraint, was able to just barely bite down the growl crawling up his throat, turning his grimace into an awkward smile. He needed the kid’s trust, and he couldn’t have that if he snapped at him.

   Maybe this was a bad idea, a part of him thought. He wasn’t exactly known for his patience, or his people skills, and the kid would probably be comparing him to Wukong the entire time if Macaque did decide to “train” him.

   Yeah, no thank you.

   But as Macaque started to leave, the kid jumped up yet again, rushing in front of him with clear awe and excitement.

   “Can you teach me that awesome thing?!” Oh hell, he looked so excited and hopeful, like he really wanted Macaque to teach him. Macaque backed away slightly, so the kid wasn’t up in his face.

   “Uhh… don’t you already have a master? I thought Monkey king was training you?” Please take the bait please take the bait…

   Thankfully, the kid did, backing away slightly and, to Macaque’s surprise, looking a bit… disappointed. Like he wasn’t getting what he wanted from training with the great Sun Wukong.

   Suddenly, that small voice of doubt vanished in Macaque, replaced by interest. Maybe… maybe he should continue with this plan. He smiled to himself, anticipation brewing in his gut like a storm.

   “But you can never have too many teachers, right? I’m sure Monkey King would agree? It’s not like he’d want to hold you back!” Yes, Macaque could see the temptation growing in the kid. He could also see the beginnings of doubt, dissatisfaction toward the Monkey King being stoked by Macaque’s carefully chosen words.

   “Ummm… Yeah! Yes, he’d totally be cool with it!” That was a blatant lie, but Macaque let it slide. He needed the kid’s trust if he wanted this plan to work.

   He slung his arm around the kid’s shoulder, leading him to the edge of the building. He called the seal to his fingertips as he did so, quietly pushing it into the kid’s aura to slowly feed off it, before letting his paw slide from  Xiaotian’s back.

   Now, all he had to do was wait.

——————— ——————— ——————— ———————

   Macaque was losing his mind.

   Three days. That was all it should’ve taken for the seal to fill up completely. That was the most it ever had taken, and that was only because Macaque had been unable to complete it at the time. So, the seal on Xiaotian’s back should’ve been full to bursting.

   And yet, when Macaque had finally decided to check it, he’d found that it was barely 5% full. At first, he’d thought it was because the kid hadn’t been using his full power. But then he’d thought back to the day before when, in a fit of frustration, the kid had blasted a hole clean through the side of a small mountain. Aside from scaring the absolute shit out of Macaque, because holy fuck this kid is strong, that one blast alone should’ve filled up at least 20% of the seal. Clearly, that was not the case.

   Which left two options: either a) Macaque hadn’t correctly applied the seal (an idea that was very quickly disproven with a second check), or b) the kid’s aura was so strong, it was messing with his seal. It was honestly the only option that made even a bit of sense. After all, the kid’s presence had been enough to draw Macaque’s attention even when he was in a large crowd of people.

   Unfortunately, there wasn’t much that Macaque could do to fix that. Maybe if the seal had been incomplete, he could remove it and replace the old seal with a new, complete one. It would’ve been a pain, sure, but he could stand to wait an extra day or so. But this… this wasn’t something that he could fix. If he removed the seal now, then all his hard work from the past three days would go to waste, and he could not let that happen.

   Macaque sighed as he sat next to Xiaotian. The kid was out cold, curled up on the small futon that Macaque had set up in one of the rooms of his dojo. The kid had been exhausted, worked to the bone by his boss, Sun Wukong, and Macaque himself, and had come into the dojo two hours earlier with dark purple bags under his eyes and a bad case of bedhead. They’d trained for about an hour before Macaque had told the kid to get some sleep, unable to watch the kid try to clumsily strike him only to trip over his own feet.

   It was odd, really. Macaque typically wasn’t the type to enjoy being with others. He was a loner, had been for hundreds of years now. And he’d enjoyed it! No burdensome connections, no one to carry but himself, no one to tie him down to any one place. Besides, he found humans to be too annoying and needy, and demons were often so pretentious it made Macaque’s eyes want to roll out of his head. In short, he didn’t like being with other people.

   And yet, the kid had somehow managed to begin worming his way through all of Macaque’s barriers with an ease that, if he was being honest, scared him a fair bit. He’d spent years, years, building up those walls, making sure that every crack, every little weakness, was sealed up and airtight.

   Only for a kid, who Macaque had absolutely planned on killing, and whom he had only met three days ago, to bypass all of that as fast as though the walls had never even existed.

   That was why Macaque was starting to panic. If he got attached, if he actually started to care about Xiaotian- no, he couldn’t start calling the kid by his name, he’d get even more attached- if he actually started to care about the kid, then not only would he be unable to execute his plan, he’d be making himself vulnerable. He’d give himself a weakness, one that other demons would exploit.

   He could not, under any circumstances, let that happen. He needed to distance himself from the kid as much as possible, while still “training” him and filling the seal. It would take a couple of months, a lot of patience, and really, really good acting on his part, but he could do it.

   Besides, the kid was the apprentice of his worst enemy. How hard could it be?

—————— —————— —————— —————— ——————

   He couldn’t believe this. It was absurd. Ridiculous. An absolute waste of his time. And beyond that…

   “C’mon Macaque! I need to show you this one game! You’re gonna love it!!”

   ...It was embarrassing. It was so, so embarrassing.

   Qi Xiaotian had come into his dojo about an hour earlier, somehow buzzing with even more energy than usual and excitement making his eyes glitter like a diamond in the sunlight. When Macaque had asked the kid what had him so excited that he was literally vibrating, he’d expected it to be something along the lines of ‘Wukong finally taught me a new move’, or something else related to the Monkey king.

   What he had not expected was for the kid to start ranting about some video game that had just come out today. The kid had been talking so fast that Macaque couldn’t understand about 90% of what the kid said, and the 10% he could make out made no goddamned sense. Who the hell was Minecraft Steve? And on top of that, what the fuck is a “Sans”?

   When the kid had finally finished, Macaque had sat there for a moment, just trying to process what had just happened. He’d probably looked like an absolute idiot, just sitting there staring.

   When he’d finally found his voice, he’d said that it sounded interesting, and that he knew Xiaotian would have fun playing it. That was when things started to go downhill.

   As they had been walking to the training area, the kid had asked him what video games he played. He’d sounded genuinely interested too, like he really cared about what Macaque did in his free time (like he actually cared about Macaque). Without thinking, Macaque had responded that he didn’t play video games, preferring to use his time to train or carve stuff.

   At that point his fate was sealed.

   The kid gasped, giving Macaque a scandalized look. It was almost comical, and he’d  had to bite back a snort.

   “You’ve NEVER PLAYED A VIDEO GAME?!!” The kid gave him an incredulous look, mouth gaping. Macaque rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, his tail twitching nervously.

   “Ummmm… no? It’s not that big a deal-“ Macaque was cut off by the kid grabbing his arm and dragging him out of the dojo. Shit, this was not going as planned.

   Macaque dug his feet into the floor, halting Qi Xiaotian even as he struggled to tug Macaque along with him. The kid was strong, he’d give him that. He’d actually struggled a bit to stay in place.

   “Whoa whoa whoa, easy there kid. What’s with the hurry?”

   “You’ve never played a video game! How is it that you’ve never played a video game?!” Macaque shrugged nonchalantly.

   “I have other, more important things to do. Besides, they can’t be that good-“

   They’d argued over that for a while, until Xiaotian had gotten the idea to take the dark monkey to an arcade a few blocks away. That was when it happened.

   Macaque had opened his mouth, the word no already on his tongue, when the kid had given him this look. It reminded Macaque of a kicked puppy, except somehow even sadder and more pleading, and suddenly he’d found himself agreeing to go. Which was how he ended up standing in a shitty, loud, brightly colored arcade with an excitable young human buzzing around him like a hummingbird.

   Macaque couldn’t even get frustrated about it. Oh, he’d been pissed on the walk here, for sure. But then the kid had smiled at him, and he looked so goddamned happy that Macaque was going with that he couldn’t find it in himself to snap at him. He’d even started to feel excited about going, before he remembered that arcades are loud and smelly and full of people, and by that point it had already been too late.

   “OH MY GOD, THEY HAVE MONKEY MECH 3??!?! MACAQUE WE HAVE TO PLAY IT!!!” Still, he couldn’t help the small smile that crossed his face as his protege dragged him toward one of the brightly colored games.

—————— —————— —————— —————— ——————

   Shit. Shit. Shit. How had he let this happen? How could he have been so damn stupid?

   Macaque paced the darkened halls of the dojo, tearing at his hair in frustration. Xiaotian- no, the kid, he was the kid dammit- was fast asleep in one of the small office rooms, curled up on the spare futon that had effectively become his bed. Training had run far longer than either of them had been expecting, and it had started pouring rain as well. The kid had shyly asked Macaque if he could stay the night and, wanting to check on the seal’s progress, Macaque had obliged.

   It was more than two thirds of the way full. Which, given that a month and a half had passed since he last checked it, made sense.

   What didn’t make sense was the distinct dread that overcame him upon that discovery, turning his insides to ice and causing worry to twist in his stomach. Dread quickly turned to confusion, which became anger, which gave way to one hell of a realization.

   He’d fucking grown attached. The one person in the world that he needed to emotionally distant from, and of course Macaque had gotten attached. It was just… he’d never had anyone be genuinely happy or excited to hang out with him, or talk to him, or anything like that. Most people who saw him tended to shy away or, if they knew who he was, bolt in terror. And in the past few hundred years, he’d grown accustomed to that.

   And then there was Xiaotian, who actively sought him out, who really enjoyed being with Macaque, who actually talked to Macaque like he was really interested in what he had to say, and who smiled at him whenever he entered the dojo, and who treated him like an actual goddamned person. Macaque had never gotten to feel that before, like someone really gave a damn about him.

   And slowly, Macaque had begun to feel the same about Xiaotian. He found himself genuinely interested in whatever the kid would rattle on about, found himself feeling actual concern whenever the kid showed up to train with bruises or injuries. He’d grown fond of the kid, with their training time becoming his favorite part of the day.

   Which would be great, if it wasn’t for two little things: a), the kid is also being mentored by his worst enemy, and b), MACAQUE WAS STILL PLANNING ON BETRAYING THE KID! Except now, the mere thought of that made Macaque feel sick with guilt as he imagined the confused, hurt look Xiaotian would give him if he did, and Macaque knew he wouldn’t be able to go through with it.

   But he didn’t have a choice! If he didn’t do this, if he didn’t go through with the plan, then he’d lose everything! All that progress, all that hard work, wasted! He’d be alone for the rest of his life…

   And if you do go through with it, you’ll end up pushing away the only person who cares about you.

   Macaque froze, ramrod straight. His arms fell to his sides as the sounds of the night permeated the air. He stood in the darkness, surrounded by the shadows of his regret.

   “Oh,” he said quietly, as tears dropped from his cheeks onto the cold, wooden floor.

—————— —————— —————— ——————

   He removed the seal that night, while the kid was asleep. It had been easy, easier than he expected, and the resulting golden glow from the kid’s aura made it worth it. He’d basked in the glow until he’d finally fallen asleep, and when he woke up the next morning, the kid was gone. He’d panicked at first, believing that Xiaotian had somehow found out about the seal and the plan and that he hated Macaque now and was gonna get Sun Wukong and-

   And then he’d seen the kid’s note, saying that he needed to go to work and he’d be back at around 6:00, and Macaque breathed a sigh of relief.

   Before cringing slightly at his earlier panic. It hadn’t even been a whole day since he’d decided not to betrayXiaotian, and he was already panicking about the kid turning his back on him? What was he, the kid's father?

   Some deep part of him said yes, before he quickly shoved it back down. No, he was not the kid’s parent. Mentor? Maybe. Friend? Honestly, yeah. Parent? Hell fucking no. He already had enough to worry about without mother-henning the reckless young adult.

   Slowly, Macaque went about his day. Went out into the city to get (read: steal) food, fought a demon or two for the hell of it, watched people from atop a building, before he headed back to the Dojo to get ready for the day’s training session with Xiaotian.

   Macaque checked the clock as he finished up. 5:55. Excitement rose within him. The kid said he would be here at six; he should be arriving soon.

   Macaque tried to hide his excitement as he waited, leaning against the front door. He’d gotten rid of the seal, Wukong didn’t know about him, and Xiaotian still wanted to train with him. All in all, this had been a good 24 hours, Macaque thought.

   The minutes ticked by. 6:00 became 6:30, which became 7:00. Excitement become concern, which became anxiety. Xiaotian was never, ever this late. Hell, the kid would usually be so excited to train that he’d show up ten minutes early, before Macaque would be fully prepared.

   Macaque checked his new phone (Courtesy of an impromptu shopping spree with Xiaotian). Nothing from the kid saying he would be late. Actually, aside from a message from this morning that mirrored the paper note he’d found on his desk, there was nothing at all.

   That was what spurred Macaque to start running through the city, leaping across rooftops with ease. In just a few minutes, he was almost to the kid’s apartment, wind in his fur as he turned the corner-

   Rubble. Yellow police tape everywhere. Massive scorch marks that streaked the walls and ground. One of the walls of the apartment had been destroyed, leaving a gaping hole.

   There was the scent of blood and burning flesh.

   Macaque couldn’t breathe.

   He couldn’t B R E A T H E.

   He stumbled away from the scene from the flashing light of police cars and the scent, that horrible scent-

   It was Xiaotian’s scent. Gods, that was Xiaotian’s scent, mixed in with the blood and burned flesh, and something had- someone had hurt him- someone had hurt his kid-

   He was running now, rushing to the hospital because his kid was injured and he needed to be there to make sure he was alive and ok, because he couldn’t lose the one person on the goddamned planet who cared, or he would go insane. Guilt crashed over him in waves, he should’ve been there-

   He doesn’t remember the trip to the hospital. He doesn’t remember transforming into a finch and flying around the building, doesn’t remember the search at all.

   He does, however, remember finally finding the kid’s room. He does, however, remember the short, old doctor saying that he had several 3rd degree burns, multiple broken bones, and that he may never be able to see out of his left eye ever again.

   He remembers, so vividly, finally catching sight of the kid’s battered and burned form, bandages obscuring the entire left side of his face, an oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose.

   He will forever remember just how pale the kid looked.

   Like he was dead.

   Macaque flew to the roof of the hospital, clumsily transforming back as he skidded to a stop. He fell to his knees, staring numbly down at the concrete rooftop. He was dimly aware of the tears that silently streaked down his face, but he could not feel them.

   He couldn’t feel much of anything.

   Why? Why couldn’t he have just one person who cared? Why did the universe have to take the only person who gave a damn?

   Anger, slow and hot, began to burn at the tears. Why the hell did Xiaotian have to be the one to get hurt? Was it karma for Macaque? Was it the universe’s way of getting revenge for all of his misdeeds?

   But if that was the case, then why had Xiaotian been the one who got hurt? Why had Xiaotian been the one to almost die, to have his bones shattered, his flesh burned, his blood spilled? Why hadn’t Macaque been the one to suffer, instead of a kid who did nothing but give a monster hope to be better?

   “WHY??!!”, Macaque screamed to the heavens, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TAKE-ta-take me….. wh-why didn’t you take me instead...why….” his voice broke into a whisper, as his tears burned like liquid fire in his eyes.

   The heavens, cold and uncaring and so unlike Xiaotian’s warmth and light and kindness, gave him no answer.