#axel insight;

[duckandash]

he said he'd never do this. 

he said that he was fine not reaching out to hermes. 

what axel hadn't said was he'd already had one lifetime of a family that didn't care enough to reach out. having the same thing again in his newly found father might tear a hole in him that he wasn't sure he could repair. it was easier to keep the noncommunication a two-way street than to put himself out there just to realize this was another parent too busy to notice him. 

but axel thought too much. he thought too hard about what might come of the future, what opportunities could be missed because of his own decisions or lack thereof, and how getting in his own way might be to the detriment of others. would it hurt if he was met with silence? yeah. definitely. absolutely. on a level that he wasn't even sure he could fathom on this side of things. 

but what would feel worse? if at some point down the line, his obstinance and fear of rejection stopped him from helping someone else. so he'd take this risk because the pain would be personal if he failed. and no one would have to know about it because the wounds wouldn't be visible.

axel offered up a few mundane items, like a well-worn book of poetry by walt whitman, a man known for his love of travel and exploration, and his old study notes from learning celestial, sylvan, and primordial. things the god of language and travel would appreciate, he hoped. but he made sure to give things that might seem more substantial, too: the book he used to learn undercommon, for one. the other? a dagger. a weapon and tool commonly associated with thieves and tricksters. 

“I've been here a while now.” offerings given, axel's voice was quiet and personal as he moved closer to the statue of hermes. “I came here pretty damn lost. and I fumbled a lot at the start- a whole lot. but I've found my footing, I think. and I- I don't always feel like I'm doing the best job but everyone around me seems to think I'm doing something right so I gotta take that evidence for what it is. And so I'm hoping…”

axel licked his lips, looking down at the books, the papers, the weapon then back up at the marbled personification of a god, a father, a person he wanted to hear back from and get some sign of approval. “I'm hoping that you've seen what they're seeing in me, too. I'm hoping that, maybe, I could get a sign from you- something, I dunno what- that you got an eye on me. that you've got my back, and, if the road ahead gets rough, that you know where I am and you're liking where I'm goin'.”

a long breath in. 

and then a long breath out.

and then a long wait to see.

[happyendingsong]

wrestling 2024 meme!!!! tagged by @axel-mania TY!!!!!! im very late to this. lol. <3

mvp/wrestler of the year: maika killed it last year of course, especially with holding things down during the stardom/marigold split. really glad she's been getting her flowers for that. also mina was everywhere last year and deserves a LOT more shine for getting the mariah/toni feud so over. i am prayingggg they figure that out in time for this last title match and get her involved -_-! mayu is foreverwomanofalltime AND did great work last year. also fuck it natsuko tora. girl i love you.

match of the year: i feel like i wasn't super gripped by many of the storylines of the big matches last year, and the storylines i WAS into i wasn't as into the matches (eg i <3 minamariahtoni but i dont think any of the matches have lived up to the potential these three have (the london match got the closest). we need the fucking triple threat my godddddddd). i did cry all the way through bayley vs io and io vs utami though 🛐. loved mayu vs momo too, and maika vs saya in the 5star finals. also loved mercedes vs kris (OH AND KRIS VS WILLOW AUGH) and mercedes vs hazuki, hazuki nation 4ever. speaking of i need to watch that hazuki vs slk unmasking match.... also loved dieno vs effy lol <3. anyway qq vs oedo tai cage match moty two years running wow ‼

favorite feud: bayleyio got my asssss, i want them to get INTO it esp now theyre both faces but i will take every ten second staredown that doesnt amount to anything and eat. it. up. minamariahtoni you can still be everything. omg i got SO into the natsukotam build during the 5star but theyre addicted to making natsuko look like a geek im SICKKKKKK.

favorite tag team/faction: i was pretty checked out of tag wrestling last year unfortch, i know there was a ton of great stuff happening! i hearttttt biancanaomi though, i tear up everytime i tune in to whatever they're doing. ALSO fwc :^) <33333. favourite faction is stars 😔 very worried about this year maybe being their last but we stay silly.

favorite show: agreed w axel's answer for this, the 5star opener was SO fun. i also LOVED the semi finals show! such a good intimate atmosphere with a crazy hot crowd, this was my first year following the 5star beginning to end and my excitement really peaked with it here. such a good fucking go home show. also the stardom show in philly because i got to go with m and it was soooo fun :) <33333

breakout star: been loving aya sakura! and i havent watched enough chi chi yet but she's incredible. also i LOVE that saya iida is finally getting big spots, she's been so fab forever but it feels like it's finally clicking into place for her. 2025 belongs to IIDA.

horniest moment: how could we possibly boil it down to just one...... but everytime i watch this video i have to like. hold my face.

honourary picks go to the slk vs hazuki match i still havent seen because im not ready

and of course we must always give it up for minamariah forced intox kiss.

[chaddicus]

hey. hey so uh. literally never occurred to me to wonder this before but. is the whole 'ghost depicted as a sort of person-shape with a sheet over it' just a consequence of that being a simple costume to represent a sort of amorphous humanoid spirit with ambiguous features and a spectral sheen, or is it. is it that ghosts have no perceivable form directly but can affect objects so they would choose to throw a sheet over themselves so others can see where they are & what they're doing to some degree & a sheet with eyes is simplest? is the ghost sheet diagetic???

[withclawandvine]

i'm gonna be a lil vulnerable for a second, if that's ok

when i was young, i begged my parents to put me in figure skating lessons. a pipe dream, really, because even if i hadn't been born with two left feet, my family couldn't afford such an expensive sport. so getting to step into that dream and live in it for just a little bit??? it filled my heart in a way that i can't really articulate. this is why i love x reader fics.

ON THIN ICE ┊ TODOROKI TOUYA

synopsis: your partner’s injury left the future of your skating career uncertain. but where one door closes, another is being held open—and has been, for many years.

tags: GN reader, no quirk au (figure skating), reader is an ice dancer, retired ice skater (+ teacher) touya, angst + fluff, sports related injuries, childhood friend shouto, best friends older brother touya, reference to canon, romance, mutual pining, first kisses, getting together, ice skating jargon (to the best of my ability lol)

wc: 8.3K

A pair of young, doe-eyed volunteers parted the curtains. Beyond it the battered ice and a stadium filled to capacity, their deafening cheers flooding through to the corridor. Harsh flashes of light assault your vision where the photographers are standing around the entryway; if not for the hand in yours, you’re not sure you would’ve been able to move.

The applause crashes over you as the other couple exit the ice. Bouquets, ribbons and gifts are thrown onto the ice, swiftly collected by the sweepers as the gates are opened for you to begin warming up.

“…and Todoroki Shouto!”

Your names are announced side by side, syllables ricocheting through the cavernous arena. Aizawa is there to take your jacket and hang it over the crook of his arm. You haven’t trembled under his sharp scrutiny in years but it is a close thing.

“Go out there and do what you do best,” he nods.

The cold rink air balloons in your lungs. It feels as though there is a black hole in your chest pulling at every quark within your body. You glide after Shouto, tension released from your shoulders in increments as you do a warm up lap of the rink, pushing into every stride to keep up with Shouto’s pace. He’s pale, you notice. A sickly sheen of sweat illuminated for you to see under the stadium lights and a pinch to the smile that softens as your fingers flex.

The beginning notes to music for your free dance start to play. In a blink it is nothing more than a figment of your imagination—there’s no time to second guess. Shouto takes you into his embrace and the routine you’ve worked to perfect throughout the season comes naturally. Rippling around one another like water meeting again and again, endlessly going out and coming in. Every leg movement, every turn and lift, every flick of the wrist snapped in time with the beat as you reacted to each other, movements tightly entwined, merging with a synchronicity that you would have only dreamed of in your adolescence.

The song crescendoed. The world fell silent.

And then it erupted.

Applause echoed around the arena. Thunderous, enough to overshadow the violent beat of your heart. You’re dazed, caught in a snare. Shouto poised above you, his pupils blown wide, a wild, pained look in his eyes. As presence of mind returns you become acutely aware of the arm shaking around your waist, the hand buried in his hair. The proximity—or lack of it. Short, frantic puffs of air ghost across your cheek.

You start to panic. Your hand slides down the curve of Shouto’s throat and he blinks, startled. And then his face crumpled.

He grew heavy in your arms.

He collapsed.

ICE DANCING PRODIGY TODOROKI SHOUTO TO RETIRE: UNDERGOES SECOND HIP SURGERY Skatebuzz - 11 December 20XX - 16:34

Three time national champion and prospective Olympian Todoroki Shouto will not only be missing the entirety of the 20XX-XX season but every one following. Revealed in a statement uploaded to his social media, Todoroki Shouto has announced his intention to retire. The ice dancer is reportedly recovering and ‘in good spirits’ regarding his decision. While the skating community has come together to wish him well, they have also begun to speculate about the future of his partner…

A slow, electronic instrumentation accompanies you onto the bus. Soft vocals intertwined with a soothing ambience. Purposeful in your choice of music—hoping it’ll calm your restless mind before you arrive. Your body jostles as you stare down at your phone. You click out of the article and open the text app. Eyes skim over the messages Touya had sent you an hour ago.

Touya : 16:45 ➢ Rink?

He must’ve heard the news.

You : 16:53 ➢ omw

Touya : 16:55 ➢ K. Hurry up

Things had gone quiet after Shouto’s second surgery last week and you haven’t been skating since. Over the years you had shared multiple strained numerous ligaments, a few blade nicks, bruised a coccyx and broken a finger or two, but a long untreated hip labral tear was not so quick to heal. You’d respected his request to sideline any talk of skating for a while. Having been skate partners for nearly a decade you understood the grief he must be feeling, because in part you are feeling it too.

Shouto’s absence on the ice was akin to a phantom limb. His father, Todoroki Enji, paired you together in early childhood, and over time a pleasant friendship quietly blossomed as you endured rigorous training and competitions together. Even after he broke away from Enji’s iron grip and sought new guidance under Aizawa’s care you followed right behind him. You had plans together. Dreams to chase.

To put to rest. To create anew.

The bus rolls to an abrupt stop. You grip the nearby handle and gather yourself quickly, shucking your bag higher as you walk down the narrow aisle toward the front. You dip and murmur in thanks at the driver before stepping off into the tepid air.

Seeing the rink is always a bit like coming home. You would be lying if you said you hadn’t desperately missed it. People smile in your direction, employees waving you in, recognising your face. The din is muffled by the music pouring into your ears; simple, contagious chords paired with soulful vocals. You hum along and kick off your shoes, taking no notice of the others in the locker room, incognisant to their whispers.

You hang your skates over your wrist and pad through toward the rink. Cold air fills your lungs. The old pop song playing through the speakers disrupts the harmony of your own—you pull out the earbuds with a sigh and lower onto a nearby bench.

A few feet away you hear a young girl exhale an awed sound. You glance up and follow her line of sight. There are a few junior level skaters doing their final lap, most practicing on their own, but that isn’t what she’s staring after. Gliding around the far end of the rink is their trainer, Todoroki Touya, and your best friend’s eldest brother.

Growing up alongside Shouto ultimately led to spending time with his family. You were integrated little by little, until it was entirely normal for you to have a set of spare keys to his house. Touya had been a taciturn presence amongst the siblings. You were drawn to him from the beginning. Rough around the edges and quick witted. Swan-like limbs, lithe muscle and a narrow waist, you recognised the subtle gentility in his movements that can only be attributed to skaters.

Though you knew he still practiced everyday, the topic of Touya’s dead skating career was off limits. You learned that very quickly. And you understand why now more than ever.

Watching him warm up in solitude, you couldn’t help but privately think the world had laid him to rest before his time. He shed his form and became one with the ice. Your ears prick at the sound of the blades as he slides, his loose white t-shirt billowing with the quick turn, flashing slivers of pale skin and scar tissue. The muscles in his thighs strained in the confines of his leggings as he took off to jump, wing span broad and beautiful, body suspended in the air.

There’s a lump forming in your throat. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t competition standard, or that his step sequences were unrefined. Touya always burned on the ice—he threw away his shame and took every leap without fear, because he was determined to do it. Because he knew he deserved better.

Poised like a prima ballerina, Touya grabs the edge of his blade and bends his leg high, changing the trajectory of his spin. For a few short minutes he is a soft blur, and then he deftly alters his footing, pushing off into another lap of the rink.

His speed increases. Curiosity urges you forward towards the rink wall. Your hands grip the railing, sucking in a sudden breath as you recognise what it is he’s trying to do.

A triple axel.

Touya lands hard and barely maintains his balance, forcing a stunned gasp from your lungs, joined by a chorus of others. It was clumsy and amateur, yet perfectly imperfect. The bright fluorescent lights reflect on the ice, exaggerating the mottled pink cutting across his cheeks, and the expression on his face can only be described as serene. Your heart hammers with excitement as if you were right beside him.

A modicum of guilt lingers despite everything. It was always too easy to envision yourself there. Shouto was a wonderful skater, and a partner hard to come by. He managed to make the act of sweeping another person with one arm for three rotations over an icy surface look effortless and skated like he was born for it.

But figure skating is brutal, a dangerous and painful sport cleverly masked by elegance and beauty—just like Touya. As he sinks to his knees with his head tipped back, releasing a loud, exhilarated laugh, you can’t help but think:

Touya skates like he’s in love with it.

Brushing back the loose white hair stuck to his forehead, Touya surveys the rink. You flinch away from his gleaming eyes when they land on you. The joy in his face turns grim as he pushes up and begins to glide over.

You, guided by your foolish nerves, scramble back to the bench and start on your skates. A presence steps off from the ice, another warm body at your side. Your fingers tremble as they work at the knot in your laces, undoing, pulling apart the tongues, shoving in your pointed foot. The silence grows slightly oppressive as Touya lowers himself to sit He leans forward, propping his chin on his bony knee, blades scraping the floor.

“All those gold medals at home and you still can’t lace your skates properly?”

It’s as much a lie as it is an olive branch. You bite your tongue, casting him an indolent glance. Touya rolled his eyes and patted his knee. You kick your foot up into his lap and set it down gently. He used to help you lace up, back when you were still floundering on the ice and learning how to fall. Meticulously, he crosses and pulls each loop taut. Touya remembers exactly how tight you liked your skates to be without a word of direction.

“They’ve announced Shouto’s retirement,” you say delicately. “And mine by proxy, I guess. I had to hear about it from Skatebuzz of all things”.

Touya grunts. After two long minutes he makes another of his quiet pay-attention-to-me noises. Wordlessly you meet his gaze. The cool overhead lights illuminate how his expression is flat in admonishment, “You shouldn’t look at that shit. It’ll make you miserable”.

A wave of irritation comes over you. “I still want to know. I knew he was considering it but—I should’ve known first. I have a right to, and it’s,” your voice cracks under the sudden sad weight sitting on your chest. “It’s not all bad stuff. There were nice comments”.

“They never stick. You forget them as soon as you see something negative”.

“That’s not—”

"I would know," Touya interrupts harshly. His eyes shutter as he collects himself with a deep inhale. He shakes his head and your leg jerks, skate knocked off his lap now that it is secure. “Give me the other one”.

You do, but not without first making a face at him, that which he returns tenfold. “Ugly,” he says. The warmth in his tone is all that keeps your hackles from raising. That’s how Touya is. Beautiful and bright and bruised, like a wounded animal that yelped at the lightest touch.

“Bastard,” you reply. “You looked cool out there, by the way. I didn’t know you could do a triple axel”.

“Can’t. I always fuck up the take-off,” he shrugs. The compliment is dismissed but there’s finally colour in his cheeks again. You’ve long since learned the intricacy of interacting with him. Treat him too delicately and he’ll bite. Treat him too flippantly and he’ll bite. There’s a careful balance between caution and carelessness.

Shouto never truly mastered it. As brothers they communicated like two closed fists. This is perhaps the only thing you can do that he cannot.

You smile at the thought, only for it to taper as you study Touya’s hands. Lithe fingers, a broad palm, uneven skin. A memory pushes its way to the forefront of your mind. For a fraction of a second you’re small again, and your hand feels tiny in his. You can barely keep yourself upright in the ill-fitted skates on your feet. You catch your toe pick and careen towards the ice with a yelp, only to be pulled back upright by Touya.

“I’ve got you,” he assured with a big, proud grin as you regained your bearings.

The force behind his present movements grows rough under your scrutiny. You wince. He loosens the laces and starts again. Off the ice there’s nothing particularly graceful about Touya. None of the typical pride and swagger. Like this he’s just—Touya. Bony and awkward, white hair tousled in every direction. Your best friend's older brother. The boy that kept you from falling on the ice when you were five.

Your dynamic has always been oddly harmonious, if not a bit melodramatic, your crush withstanding. It had been a plentiful source of lighthearted teasing from your partner and rinkmates alike. Whether his attentiveness toward you was for the purpose of goading Shouto in some way you weren’t sure, but grateful all the same.

It was Touya who stiffly suggested you assist him with the novice ice show. At the very least as something temporary to do, keeping your mind off the prospect of bowing out of competitive ice dance for good. The reception from your rinkmates had been lukewarm compared to the disastrous scenario you’d picture in your head. It came with varying degrees of surprise and confusion but overall they respected it. Shouto’s insistence that he attend your rehearsal blocks whenever possible tempered a majority of the nastier rumours, for which you were thankful, though not everyone had a working filter.

You’ve been working on refining individual elements for the kids. It’s far more difficult than you realised. After years competing at such a high level you’ve needed to reacquaint yourself with the basics, and somehow assemble them into a coherent, beautiful dance that would make your class feel proud.

Appreciative as you are to have him there, Shouto was no real help either. He was a natural at skating; albeit reluctant to accept that fact. Whenever one of the children asked him to explain the specifics of something he would end up staring in a loss for words. He rarely gave much active thought to the mechanics of how he skated since he instinctively knew how to do it.

Touya was the opposite. He skated with purpose and understood every movement his body made. What he lacked in clean edges he made up for in musicality. Purported by his emotions, in a way, and coaxing you along with him. He’s a good teacher. Passionate in a way that sparked passion in the student’s while being firm enough to keep them in line.

He could demonstrate each solo element with ease and explain it step by step. You envied the fire in his belly—undistinguishable and bright. Spending more time together has only succeeded in fuelling your feelings towards him.

“Skate with me?”

Touya’s sharp eyes skim urgently across your face in search of something. They soften. He huffs and then jerks his head toward the rink. “Why else would I tell you to meet here?”

Your cheeks ache, and you realise you’re smiling.

The junior level skaters have petered out, leaving the space relatively empty. You remove your guards and follow him onto the ice, doing a warm up lap of the rink. His legs—and by extension, his stride—are no longer than Shouto’s, and you don’t need to fight to keep up.

"Want to start with the Dutch waltz?"

While Touya earned his fair share of accolades—placing first in the Junior’s Division World Championship and receiving a Grand Prix invitation before the accident—he was never an ice dancer, and you loved monopolising that fact.

As expected Touya shot you an affronted glare. “I’m not doing the Dutch waltz. Toddlers can do the Dutch waltz,” he exaggerated.

“Should be easy for you then,” you replied blithely.

Touya let out a long sigh and shook his arms out before extending them to you. Hip to hip, you take his hand, dazed by the unfolding reality of the situation and the warmth of his skin. You let your blades carry you through the long axis of the rink and stand in a starting position.

Your uncertainty carries into the first steps, ebbing as the sequence progresses. Touya’s scowl smoothed out and his posture relaxed, aiding the flow of your shared movements and momentum. Your legs swing out in unison and the cold air whips across your cheeks. Preliminary as it was, you were excited to be skating with him. Glad, in part, that nobody else was around, giving the illusion that you were alone together in a space of your own making.

The hour passes cycling through a waltz at a time and crests at the final turn of a Westminster waltz. Despite his lack of formal ice dance coaching Touya’s technique was decent, as was his speed, and he flowed through each pattern as if it was the hundredth time he had done it. There are areas where your edges could have been stronger, or your stances straighter, but the intimacy you worked hard to portray with Shouto came naturally with him.

“You’re surprisingly good for a guy who insists ice dancing is beneath him”.

“Ice dance is equally advanced. Stop being dramatic,” he grumbles.

“Wow. Did that hurt to say? Kinda nice of you, actually”.

“Shut up”.

A wave of shocked murmurs bursts the bubble that had formed around the pair of you. Touya cranes his head, brow furrowed. Trepidation trickles in as you catch sight of a familiar dichromatic head. Shouto is here, leaning against the boards.

“Shouchan,” you push off to greet him with a tentative smile. His expression visibly gentles, a smile of his own coming to his eyes. “You look well. It’s good to see you up, but is it okay for you to be walking so soon?”

“Aizawa encouraged it. As long as I use the crutches,” he lifts one as proof, glancing around the rink. “You looked great together”.

It sends a surge of relief through your body, quieting the nagging part of your brain that always felt as if you were cheating on Shouto somehow. Touya is slower in his approach. He hunches over the sideboard and hums in that very cavalier, cool way that actually betrayed his piqued interest. “That’s sweet and all, but what’re you doing here?”

Shouto’s gaze drags to his older brother. Touya doesn’t appear perturbed by his inexpressive face, nor his stubborn silence. Mismatched eyes, azure surrounded by old scar tissue. His mothers face, her lips and the slope of her nose. They really are reflections of each other, in many ways.

“I need permission to come see my friends now?”

Touya’s nose flares and his jaw ticks in irritation. “I didn’t come empty handed,” Shouto continues. You hadn’t noticed the takeout bag held against his front until he offered it to you. “Have you eaten? I bought udon on the way”.

“I could eat,” Touya says.

You stretch across the boards to take the bag, “It’s my udon”.

His mouth thins as he cranes his chin, looking down his nose at you as he says, “Maybe it’s for me too”.

“Is not,” you stare stubbornly at Touya, shielding the food to your chest with one arm and side-hugging Shouto with the other. A warm puff of breath skims your collarbone as he laughs.

“Please don’t flirt in front of me”.

“You wouldn’t know flirting if it hit you over the head with a crowbar,” Touya deflects haughtily. “Whatever. Hand that over”.

You whirl past him to step off the ice, valiantly trying to keep the bag out of reach on principle. When you’re seated on the bleachers, Shouto to your left and Touya on the right, you unpack the contents and realise—to the latters smug satisfaction—that yes, Shouto had brought two containers of udon.

Shouto appears content to simply be there, chin propped on the handle of his crutch, watching you both eat with a small smile. The conversation is slow and pleasant as you eat, steering from genial small talk about the weather to sarcastic quips about your rinkmates.

You pinch your chopsticks around the thick noodles and inhale the tangy-sweet scent of oyster sauce, “Is Bakugo still peacocking around you?”

Bakugo Katsuki—another prodigal solo skater and unwilling friend—had been making a point of practicing quads whenever Shouto was around. While the intention might’ve been to gloat while Shouto is unable to skate, it instead came across like a hilariously aggressive mating dance.

“He’s not peacocking. He’s just…”

“Peacocking,” Touya repeats with feeling. “Admit it”.

Shouto’s mouth twists into a little self-effacing smirk. “What about the show—are the students excited? Eri-chan was, last I saw of her”.

“Don’t change the subject. But yeah,” you smile as memories sift through your thoughts. A mass of red, runny noses bundled up in sweaters and gloves, their bright eyes staring back with enthusiasm. “They’re really excited. It’s no national competition but—”

“It is to them,” Touya cuts in pointedly. The smile slips and you blink owlishly at him. “The show will be the deciding factor for a lot of them, if they want to keep skating or not. It’s equally as important”.

“I—I know,” you assure him, feeling a little ashamed for having made light of it, albeit unintentionally. “We’ve started on the rhythm elements,” you continue hesitantly as Touya acquiesces. “Picking the music has been a nightmare”.

“Their step sequences suck,” Touya interjects. You give him an incredulous look. Seemed his compassion ran dry quickly. “What? They do,” he argues, “Eri and Kota aren’t syncing. Every time she tries to skate closer the kid pulls away”.

“It isn’t a technical issue. They just… struggle to maintain their connection, before, during, and after an element is performed… is all”.

“That’s a problem,” Shouto says. “On the ice you’re one entity. It’s important to convey that feeling of unity”.

“Yes. Thank you, Shouto,” you sigh, choosing to ignore Touya’s muffled snort. “It’ll work out in the end. Kota just has a crush Eri-chan, so he’s being awkward”.

Shouto gives a noncommittal hum. “You two seem to do fine though”.

In that instant the weight of Touya’s gaze is intense. You close your eyes, suppressing the urge to put your head between your knees. An exasperated breath promptly swelled out to the limits of your ribcage. Sheer mortification. You glare at Shouto who merely tips his head, the corners of his eyes wrinkling in amusement, not in the least bit sorry.

“Well obviously. They’re children,” you clear your throat, ducking to concentrate on finishing your meal. “I miss Fuyumi. The men in your family are impossible”.

Neither Todoroki brother reacts. “Don’t lump poor Natsu in with us like that,” Shouto says coolly.

The hot takeout tray cradled in your arms does little to soothe the restlessness of your heart as Touya drapes along the back of the bench and smirks. He looks like he’s waiting for an odalisque to feed him grapes. Instead he shovels the last of his noodles into his mouth and sucks them through puckered lips. The strand flicks him on the nose.

“Our kids will do fine as well,” he says after swallowing. You temper a smile at the use of our, your embarrassment dissipating as Shouto’s comment is left unquestioned. He picks at the last of his food with his chopsticks, pinching and letting them go. “That Kota brat just needs to remember where to put his hands”.

“How about the costumes?”

“We don’t have music sorted yet. Now you want to talk about costumes?”

“Yes. I think you should wear glitter, Touya-nii”.

“Touya-nii,” Touya mocks with a distasteful scowl. “I can’t pull glitter off like you, Prince Shouto. Forget it”.

“An androgynous look would work well. You’re prettier than you think, Touya,” you cut in over their bickering. Touya baulks, flustered. “But we’re not in the ice show, so talking about it is pointless”.

“Well, the giftbox costumes are simple enough”.

“You’re making them wear boxes?” Shouto gives you both a flat look. Touya’s mouth pulls into a wicked grin.

“Only a few of them,” he shrugs. “The elves, Santa and his wife will need a little more detail—what the hell is his wife’s name, anyway?”

You tip back against the bench in thought. The soft hair on his forearm tickles your nape and you fight the urge to jerk away, not wanting to bring attention to the contact and subsequently lose it. “Depends on the adaptation I guess. Heard once that her name is Gertrude,” you reply.

“Gertrude?” Shouto echoes, his English stilted around the unfamiliar name.

“Shit. Guess that’s why she never uses it,” Touya grimaces, tucking the chopsticks inside the empty tray and wiping his mouth. “You done eating?”

Shouto, sensing the opportunity, rights his posture and asks, “Could we get a minute alone?”

You give Touya a once-over to gauge his reaction; outline his profile, trace the line of his cheekbone back to the pierced shell of his ear, glinting amongst his unruly white hair. When his eyes flicker to yours you scramble to look away. “I’ll go throw these out,” he replies, shoving the empty takeout containers back in the bag and getting to his feet. “You’ve got two”.

Purposeful silence hangs thick over the bench. “I actually came today to apologise,” Shouto murmurs once his older brother is a distance away. “I am sorry I didn’t tell you that I made up my mind. I knew you’d want me to give it more thought if I did”.

You hook your thumb into the cuff of your skate as you allow his apology to linger longer than necessary. Enough that he squirms a bit. “You get how bad that sounds, yeah?”

“I know. I didn’t want to hurt you but I didn’t want to be convinced otherwise either,” Shouto concedes, taking the seat beside you. A weight settles on your shoulder, slanting where he rests his head. His hair is silky against your cheek. “I wouldn’t be upset if you took another partner next season”.

“Thanks, but I don’t want to compete without you”.

“Well. You seem happy working with Touya. You two really do skate well together,” he wrinkles his nose then, “I always imagined you would. Especially after you told me you like him—”

“I was drunk—on whisky highballs!”

“—and wanted to work with him. You have that chance now”.

You sigh and rub your cheek against his crown. The smell of tea tree and mint fills your senses. “But what about you, Shouto?”

For a long, long time ice dancing had been the one thing Shouto picked for himself. His father wanted him to compete on the ice, but he hated doing it alone, and he hated carrying Enji’s legacy. Ice dance was, in many ways, a tool for Shouto to forge his own path with you alongside him.

“Skating has been my life for as long as I can remember. I’ve pushed people away. Declined dates. Forgotten birthdays. Missed holidays,” Shouto eventually replies. “These few months away have been… jarring. Like I came back to Earth and found out the world had been carrying on without me”.

The finality of it leaves a lump in your throat. You sniffle and indulge the urge to hug him. Shouto melts into your embrace, his hand splayed at your back. It is comfortable, comforting. When you part it’ll be as though you were walking on different sides of the same street. Not far, but a parting all the same.

Shouto leaned in and you found yourself mirroring the position reflexively. “Is it different?” he asks, hushed as if talking about something taboo. “Skating with Touya, I mean”.

Flashes of the past few weeks filter through your thoughts. Of warm, rough hands on your hips. Of his mouth by your ear. Of bodies intertwined, synergies flowing. You cover your face and sigh, “I feel like I’m going to develop cardiac arrhythmia”.

“It’s that good?”

“Don’t make it sound weird! And he’s coming back so—quiet”.

The understanding noise he makes does little to comfort you. Touya raises a brow at the smug look on his brother's face but generously, says nothing.

Shouto slinks away soon after the cold starts to agitate his injuries. Eventually you find yourselves on the ice together again. You run through yet another set of twizzles at Touya’s stroppy instruction, rotating on one foot with hard-earned grace. He mimics your attempt. He manages two before dropping his left leg.

“Remember to shift from ball to heel”.

“Fuck,” Touya hisses, his blade hitting the ice with a whip-like crack. You turn in place and raise a brow at his thunderous face. He was adamant about practicing step and turn sequences after a passing comment from Shouto about its difficulty.

“You keep positioning your other leg too far back. It throws your weight off,” he eyes your hands with suspicion as you get closer, poised to reach for him “Twizzles are hard. When I first attempted a double my body seized up and I fell. Bruised the entire right side of my ribs,” you admit sheepishly, hoping it would at least make his own failures seem smaller in comparison.

“It shouldn’t be this hard. I’ve been doing axels since I could walk,” Touya insists. He sounds almost hurt, and you stand to wonder if the only thing he inferred from your words was ‘you can’t do it’.

You understand his frustration. You are hardly a stranger to the desire to succeed. You know Touya, too; know how he built his entire life in pursuit of the summit. But while Touya has been striving toward his goal with renewed vigor, you've spent the past two months learning how it feels to desire in a whole new way—to want so badly that it hurts.

“Give yourself some grace,” you shake your head with an exasperated smile and you glide toward the boards. “You’ll get it down eventually”.

He remains in the centre of the rink and raises his voice as the distance yawns wider, “Yeah, yeah. I got it”.

“Are you staying longe—?” the call thrown over your shoulder as you step off the ice halts midway. The hem of Touya’s shirt has risen beneath the wide movement of his arms. You’re drawn to the swath of bare skin—physically unable to unglue your eyes from Touya’s lower back as he attempts another step sequence. You frown, having not noticed it before, "Is that KT tape?”

Touya had two bands of athletic tape parallel to each other on his back, the pale blue contrasted against his skin. “Sometimes. Increases my range of motion,” he reaches around to peel them off, then rolls the strips in his palm before shoving them in his sweatpant pocket. “Skin grafts messed with my flexibility. You know that”.

“I… do, yeah”. You did. Yet the information never stuck, because Touya always worked so hard you never would’ve thought he was suffering. “Ignore me, sorry. Are you staying behind, or?”

“Nah. Let me do another lap,” his voice reverberates around the rink, volume rippling with his continuous awkward rotations. “Go on. I’ll meet you out front and walk you to the bus”.

The light scrape of his skates remains inordinately loud now that everybody is gone. You drag a cloth over your blades before snapping on the guards and heading to the changing rooms. You take off your skates and do a few light stretches before washing up. The satisfying burn in your muscles dwindles as they relax and fatigue sets in; lately they’re so sore you’re sure they’ll slough off the bone.

After slipping into a clean pair of leggings and your loosest hoodie you hoist your sports bag up and cross the strap over your chest. Your phone vibrates with a notification from Nejire asking how you’ve been. You reply as you shrug on your bag and head out toward the entrance, stopping to duck into Aizawa’s office.

“Hey, Aizawa-sensei. We’ll be heading out no… oh,” you falter when you look up from the screen to find another skater seated across from Aizawa. “Hey, Midoriya! Sorry, I didn’t know you were here. I should’ve knocked”.

Izuku waves back and forth at your apology. “No, no! It’s okay I just came by to say hi,” he demurred, hand then fluttering to rub the back of his neck. He glances at Aizawa. “I’m just leaving, actually. Want to head out together?”

It’s a surprise to see him, though not an unpleasant one. You could’ve sworn he was away to partake in a skate exhibition. In that fraction of a second you wrack your mind for the date, the place, and when it clicks you try not to grimace. It had been over a week ago. The knowledge makes obvious what an absent friend you’ve been.

You smile softly, hoping he can see the apology in it. “Sure. I’d like that,” you tell him. “I’m actually meeting Touya at the reception. Just warning you”.

“Touya-san isn’t that bad,” his grin widens as he stands. Still boyish in a way he’ll probably never shed. You linger in the doorway while he bows to bid Aizawa goodbye and you wonder if he had even realised your lapse in memory.

Your eyes catch a flash of colour. His signature bright red skates are hooked on his backpack. They knock together when he walks. “So, tell me. How was the exhibition?” you playfully nudge his side as he falls in line with you. At the mention a stroke of pink spreads across his cheeks.

“It was really fun, and so different from competing. The choreography was amazing—and the lights. I couldn’t believe how coordinated everything was!” he rambles, brushing the mossy hair atop his head back and frowning when it flops back over his eyes.

You shove your hands into the front pocket of your hoodie. “I’m sorry I couldn’t see it,” your fingers fiddle along the inner seams. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask sooner, too”.

Izuku’s confused expression smooths into a familiar exasperated fondness. “You sound like Shouto. There’s nothing to be sorry for. I know you’ve been busy with Touya-san,” he teases, as though to remind you of that fact. “Ochako took a bunch of pictures. I’ll show you them next time I’m here, or—I can send them to you?”

“I’m still sorry. But thank you. I’d love to see them,” you concede to his kind insistence. Guided by a surge of affection for your friend you loop your arm through his and Izuku slows his stride. “So, gold medalist Midoriya Izuku, where are you heading off to next?”

The flush across his cheeks deepens, but he doesn’t appear flustered, and he doesn’t pull away. Izuku has long outgrown his childhood aversion to touch. You recall how wooden he once was, never knowing where to place his hands, how tight to squeeze or how long to linger. Now he takes it in his stride—actually, he’s something of a fiend for it.

“I’m meeting Kacchan. He actually picked this place,” he says, with just as gleeful as he had been while talking about the exhibition. You smile reflexively at the laughter jostling his shoulders, “It’s called ‘Mean Mug’!”

“Sounds like the perfect place for Bakugo”.

“Right?”

Interlinked, you pivot the next corner and wander into the open space. The receptionist desk is empty, as expected, and Touya is waiting by the entrance. What almost stops you in your tracks is the sight of Takami Keigo.

Touya’s eyes find yours across the threshold, pleading. They harden as they flicker to Izuku. He wrinkles his nose, ignoring whatever Keigo is saying, and Izuku tenses. You squeeze his forearm and try not to laugh. “What happened to ‘he’s not that bad’?” you ask under your breath.

“That was when we had one foot between us,” Izuku whispers. He raises his voice to greet the other men with surety as you close the distance, “Touya-san, Takami-san, it’s good to see you!”

“If it isn’t the wonder boy. You did well at the exhibition. The reviews were pouring in,” Keigo drawls, patting Izuku’s shoulder. The younger skater preens. Keigo’s attention turns to you. An amused smile stole over his features as he punctuated the syllables of your name, a flirty lilt to his tone. “You’re a sight for sore eyes”.

You unlatch your arm from Izuku’s and come to stand at Touya’s side. “Hawks,” you make reference to his stage name, equal parts amused and ruffled. “How’s the season going?”

A lazy smirk hangs on his lips. He rocks on his heels. “As expected. I was just tellin’ Touya I’ll be taking it easy until the NHK Trophy,” he says, waving his hand dismissively. “But enough about me”.

“That’s a rare sentence,” you heard Touya mutter. You bite the inside of your cheek and elbow him in the side, hard.

“There’s a noticeable gap now that you and Shouto aren’t competing, y’know,” Keigo pats Touya’s shoulder, firm enough to not be shrugged off. “Are you planning on coming back, or are you stuck here with him now?”

“I’m perfectly happy where I am,” you answer, before Touya can interject with vitriol that’ll likely get you kicked out. He’s physically bristling at your side.

Keigo scrutinizes you for a second longer. “Blink if you need help,” he squints. You smile back, unblinking, and he releases a noise of surrender, hands held out palms up. “Alright, I’ll bite. I can’t stick around much longer. Midoriya, which way you headed?”

You’re too preoccupied with assessing Touya to eavesdrop on their friendly small talk. “Sorry I took so long,” you tell him. “Hope you didn’t suffer too badly”.

“I won’t forgive you,” Touya leans needlessly close to your ear. You tear at the fabric of your hoodie from the confines of the front pocket and suppress a shiver.

“Ah, lucky lucky! I’ll give you a ride,” you hear Keigo announce, leaving no room for rejection. Izuku deflates slightly, moreso in surrender than actual dismay. You offer him a sympathetic nod.

“We’ll see you retired lovebirds some other time,” Keigo throws out a two finger salute. Izuku motions to hug you, but as his gaze crosses Touya he decides to redirect the awkward flight path of his hand to your bicep and squeezes.

“It was really good seeing you again. Tell Shouto to text me—we can catch up,” he says, wearily glancing to your left. “I’ll see you!”

Keigo corrals him away with a distinct cackle.

“Lovebirds,” you echo dumbly. Touya’s presence moves away like the sun being blocked out. “Where are you—hey!”

The doors slide open to a street lined with camphor trees. Long shadows are cast across the concrete. Stepping into the crisp evening air, you can’t help but appreciate the apricity that kisses your face.

Touya walked onward, rubbed at his mottled cheek and stifled a yawn, arms stretching above his head. The faint bumps left where his skin grafts had been stitched together all those years ago pulled taut.

Stubbornly, you do not want to part ways yet.

“Y’know, the winter fair isn’t far from here,” you managed to say, scrambling for a reasonable excuse to prolong his departure. “They even put the little rink out with the fake penguins and everything this year. You wanna go?”

“Yeah. Great idea. Let's go and do what we do every single day,” Touya replies, with enough sarcasm that you have to look again and check whether he’s joking or annoyed. The tendon along his neck strains under his thin lipped smile. Annoyed, then.

“Just a thought. You don’t need to be such a dick about it,” you mumble, hearing how your voice goes tight despite your efforts. His jaw works in your periphery, like he’s trying to dig out the words he needs from between his teeth.

Touya sighs. The fight drains from him and in one swift motion he snatches your hand to thread your fingers together. Your palms kiss, clasped tight. You feel your heart kick in your chest. “Fucking—alright. Get that look off your face,” he conceded in an unexpectedly gentle voice. Your attention snaps toward him, but he has already schooled his expression back to resignation.

The winter fair is far from difficult to find. At the mouth is a narrow space covered by a canopy of twinkling lights, washing the darkening surroundings in a bright starlight glow. Stalls are lined either side, painted in shades of red and green, displaying various homemade crafts and street food. Your attention to the surroundings waned, returning again and again to Touya, sneaking furtive glances as he roved the market. You felt a surge of pride at the gleam in his eye, counting his ease as a small victory.

“Let’s get tamagoyaki,” you suggest excitedly. “Oh, or hot chocolate?”

“Are you twelve?”

You point at a display in the distance. What appears to be a rendition of a sentient mug of hot chocolate, topped with whip cream hair and marshmallows. In its cartoonish hand is a liquor bottle, “They can put rum in it”.

That earns his unspoken approval. Touya herds you toward the tinsel-covered stall in lieu of a response. Melodious Christmas music plays quietly overhead, and your breathless laughter is light enough to get lost in the smooth notes. He orders the drinks, and while you’re distracted by the hot takeout cup thrust into your hands, he pays too. Kind of like a date, your traitorous mind whispers. In a leisurely daze, you allow the crowd to guide you both deeper into the belly.

Touya’s defenses lower with every sip and appreciative hum, tongue loose enough to speak about the life he leads away from the rink. You find him easier to talk to like this, this softer, relaxed version of Touya, stripped of all tension, purpose and sharp edges. “I still can’t believe you actually know him, though”.

Touya rolls his eyes skyward, seeking patience, and you wonder how often he has to hear that line. “He’s just some guy,” he says. “And a pain in my ass”.

“He’s Shimura Nana’s grandson. The first woman to ever land a triple axel!”

“Old news,” he pinched his brow in a delicate mocking gesture. “You were all cosy with Mighty Yagi’s protege less than an hour ago but you’re excited about Tenko? He doesn’t even skate”.

Heat rushes to your face. “Midoriya is—I was not cosy! He’s Shouchan’s best friend,” you argue before clusmily amending your words, “Shouchan’s other best friend”.

“Right,” Touya snorts.

Wisps of steam roll over the rim as you sip. The spiked hot chocolate slides down the back of your throat, warming you from the inside out. You watch the bob of his throat as he tips his cup back and swallows. Discarding it in the nearby bin, he motions for you to do the same. “C’mon. You’re the one that wanted to skate more”.

“We don’t have to if you’re that bothered”.

“I’m not bothered. I just don’t get why you’d want to”.

Because it’s you. “It’s for the novelty of it!”

The bickering continues on your journey to the skating rink. You give it a once over, then a second take, discerning whether it is even made of ice. The surface is murky and scratched beyond recognition.

“Here. Good luck tying those things,” Touya deposits a pair of rental skates into your arms with an air of disdain before grabbing his own. “If I strain my ankle tonight I’ll kill you”.

“You’d miss me too much” you bump his shoulder to distract from your own racing heart. The corner of his eyes crinkle, betraying his harsh leer.

Cut-out frames have been fixed around the nearby benches, cardboard pillars have been wrapped in more fairy lights, giving the feel of an enclosed space. “Cute. Like our very own kiss and cry,” you say, bending to shove your feet into the skates and grumble when the tendon guard digs unnaturally into your calf.

“This is a cardboard box”.

You tighten your laces too tight after a spark of agitation. “Could you suspend your disbelief for five minutes?”

“No,” Touya rises and stomps to settle into his boots. He inclines his head toward the rink. “Let’s go,” and he gestures for you to take his hand again while looking elsewhere. You smile shyly and take it.

As suspected the ice is miles from ideal for skating—not that the general public would notice. You feel the difference the second your blade meets the surface and your instincts kick in. Simultaneously too soft and too rough. The thin indents catch as you glide ahead, fist enclosed to retain the sensation of Touya’s fingers.

You can sense his focused gaze on your lazy motions like kerosene and after a few laps he dashes ahead, following the parameter, a lithe slip of moonlight. It makes known an unwarranted hollow in your chest. There’s nothing to be wanted or missed and yet your arms felt empty, hungry. Pushing against your skates you strive to keep pace.

You wanted him to keep looking at you. To see an equal in you. You suppose that’s a quality you shared.

In your distraction you’d failed to notice the crowd gathering outside the rink. Awareness creeps the length of your spine. People are holding up their phones filming the pair of you and you’re hardly skating anything groundbreaking.

Touya relishes it.

“You’ve skated in front of tens of thousands of people but a few dozen spectators is what gets you scared?” he flashes a smarmy grin. His skates carry him closer. Rough hands take you by the hips, fingers kneading slowly towards the middle of your back, spreading outwards as if wanting to canvas more of you. The tiny hairs on your nape stand endwise as his voice deepens, “Wanna make it a show worth their while?”

You suck a sharp breath and your toe pick catches on the uneven surface, almost throwing you off balance. He steadies you, tips his head back and laughs.

You remain markedly clumsy as a pair, in a drawing outside of the lines sort of way. There’s no music yet at some point you fall into a familiar sequence and Touya fights to match you. It’s as though your inhibitors have been loosened; you often find yourself getting carried away with the routine. Any judge would think you were an over excited novice. But it’s exhilarating. It’s—fun. Fun in a way it hasn’t been in a long time.

Your bodies came flush together in a final grand movement. Close enough to mimic the rapid rise and fall of Touya’s chest as though it were your own. You spend a few scant moments staring at each other as you catch your breath. Taking in the atmosphere, the proximity you’d never been afforded until now. Blood has risen in Touya’s cheeks and there’s a sheen of sweat on his forehead. His eyes are full of a childlike excitement you haven’t seen in years.

“Did you mean what you said?”

You regain your bearings, “What?”

“About being happy with what you’re doing now,” he clarifies. Your mouth parts in soft surprise, and he grows tense in the seconds it takes to form an answer.

“Without Shouto I might never return to competing and I’ve mostly made peace with that reality,” the tightening in your chest made it clear just how true those words were. You smile then, “Helping you with the kids, it’s… I feel like I’ve won all there is to win. Is that stupid?”

Years ago you used to watch Touya skate and think there probably wasn’t a person in the world whose depth and intensity of feeling matched his loneliness. You would wonder how he survived it—

Above, the lights emphasise the shadows of his scars. Maps of lines, intricate furrows, beginnings and endings, tangible proof that he had changed and grown.

—you know now, having received your own fill, how he found himself surrounded by love with no idea how he came to acquire it.

“Maybe a little,” Touya answered in a fond murmur. A camera flash goes off. A couple dozen more.

“That’s probably not good,” you point out, though you’re struggling to find it within yourself to care. “They’ll have my name in Skatebuzz again”.

“I can see the headlines now. Prospective Olympian’s disgraced brother steals away his partner,” Touya’s vindictive mirth ghosts over your lips, fleeting and hesitant. Your blood sings, rising to the surface of your skin to meet him.

He slides a hand up the curve of your throat, thumb pressed to your pulse. The restraint drains away.

You clutch at the front of his shirt as he sips at your mouth. It’s far too indulgent to be chaste, and when you pull away—barely an inch—to look at him, his eyes are already half lidded and watching you, close enough to count his lashes, pale as they fan over his cheeks.

A raucous applause thunders in your ears.

But the reverential murmur of your name is that much louder.

TO THE RINK AND BACK: TODOROKI TOUYA’S ROMANTIC RETURN? Skatebuzz - 13 December 20XX - 10:05

Todoroki Touya, once a favoured national champion, skates publicly for the first time since the career ending accident that left him permanently scarred. But he was not spotted alone. Lips locked with Todoroki Shouto’s former partner, the skating community are buzzing at the possibility of his return…

[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

BOYCOTTING FOR PALESTINE

The UN’s Boycott and Arms Embargo List

Official BDS Boycott Targets

Consumer Boycotts - a complete boycott of these brands

Cisco

Axa

Puma

Carrefour

HP

Siemens

Chevron

Intel

Caltex

Israeli produce

Re/max

Ahava

Texaco

Sodastream

Intel

Organic Boycott Targets - boycotts not initiated by BDS but still complete boycott of these brands

Disney

Macdonald's

Dominos

Papa Johns

Burger King

Pizza Hut

Wix

Divestments and exclusion - pressure governments, institutions, investment funds, city councils, etc. to exclude from procurement contracts and investments and to divest from these

Elbit Systems

CAF

Volvo

CAT

Barclays

JCB

HD Hyundai

TKH Security

HikVision

Pressure - boycotts when reasonable alternatives exist, as well as lobbying, peaceful disruptions, and social media pressure.

Google

Amazon

AirBnb

Booking.Com

Expedia

Teva

Here are some companies that strongly support Israel (but are not Boycott targets). There is no ethical consumption under capitalism and boycotting is a political strategy - not a moral one. If you did try to boycott every supporter of Israel you would struggle to survive because every major company supports Israel (as a result of attempting to keep the US economy afloat), that being said, the ones that are being boycotted by masses and not already on the organic boycott list are coloured red.

5 Star Chocolate

7Days

7Up

Apple

Arsenal FC

ALDO

Arket

Axe

Accenture

Ariel

Adidas

ActionIQ

Aquafina

Amika

AccuWeather

Activia

Adobe

Aesop

Azrieli Group

American Eagle

Amway Corp

Axel Springer

American Airlines

American Express

Atlassian

AdeS

Aquarius

Ayataka

Audi

Barqs

Bain & Company

Bayer

Bank Leumi

Bank Hapoalim

BCG (Boston Consulting Group)

Biotherm

Bershka

Bloomberg

BMW

Boeing

Booz Allen Hamilton

Burberry

Bath & Body Works

Bosch

Bristol Myers Squibb

Capri Holdings

Costa

Carita Paris

CareTrust REIT

Caterpillar

Coach

Cappy

Caudalie

CeraVe

Check Point Software Technologies

Cerelac

Chanel

Chapman and Cutler

Channel

Cheerios

Cheetos

Chevron

Chips Ahoy!

Christina Aguilera

Citi Bank

Codral

Cosco

Canada Dry

Citi

Clal Insurance Enterprises

Clean & Clear

Clearblue

Clinique

Champion

Club Social

Coca Cola

Coffee Mate

Colgate

Comcast

Compass

Caesars

Conde Nast

Cooley LLP

Costco

Côte d’Or

Crest

CV Starr

CyberArk Software

Cytokinetics

Crayola

Cra Z Art

Daimler

Dr Pepper

Del Valle

Daim

Doctor Pepper

Dasani

Doritos

Daz

Dior

Dell

Deloitte

Delta Air Lines

Deutsche Bank

Deutsche Telekom

DHL Group

David Off

Disney

DLA Piper

Domestos

Domino’s

Douglas Elliman

Downy

Duane Morris LLP

Dreft Baby Detergent & Laundry Products

Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream

eBay

Edelman

Eli Lilly

Evian

Empyrean

Ericsson

Endeavor

EPAM Systems

Estee Lauder

Elbit Systems

EY

Forbes

Facebook

Fairlife

Fanta

First International Bank of Israel

Fiverr

Funyuns

Fuze

Fox News

Fritos

Fox Corp

Gatorade

Gamida Cell

GE

Glamglow

General Catalyst

General Motors

Georgia

Gold Peak

Genesys

Goldman Sachs

Grandma’s Cookies

Garnier

Guess

Greenberg Traurig

Guerlain

Givenchy

H&M

Hadiklaim

Huggies

Hanes

HSBC

Head & Shoulders

Hersheys

Herbert Smith Freehills

Hewlett Packard

Hasbro

Hyundai

Henkel

Harel Insurance Investment & Financial Services

Hewlett Packard Enterprise

HubSpot

Huntsman Corp

IBM

Innocent

Insight Partners

Inditex Group

IT Cosmetics

Instacart

Intermedia

Interpublic Group

Instagram

ICL Group

Intuit

Jazwares

Jefferies

John Lewis

JP Morgan Chase

Jaguar

Johnson & Johnson

JPMorgan

Kenon Holdings

Kate Spade

Kirks’

Kinley Water

KKR

KFC

KKW Cosmetics

Kurkure

Keebler

Kolynos

Kaufland

Kevita

Knorr

KPMG

Lemonade

Lidl

Loblaws

Levi Strauss

Louis Vuitton

Life Water

Levi’s

Levi’s Strauss

LinkedIn

Land Rover

L’Oréal

Lego

Levissima

Live Nation Entertainment

Lufthansa

La Roche-Posay

Lipton

Major League Baseball

Manpower Group

Marriott

Marsh McLennan

Maison Francis Kurkdjian

Mastercard

Mattel

Minute Maid

Monster

Monki

Mainz FC

Mellow Yellow

Mountain Dew

Migdal Insurance

Marks & Spencer

Mirinda

McDermott Will & Emery

Motorola

McKinsey

Merck

Michael Kors

Mizrahi Tefahot Bank

Merck KGaA

Micheal Kors

Milkybar

Maybelline

Mount Franklin

Meta

MeUndies

Mattle

Microsoft

Munchies

Miranda

Morgan Lewis

Moroccanoil

Morgan Stanley

MRC

Nasdaq

Naughty Dog

Nivea

Next

NOS

Nabisco

Nutter Butter

No Frills

National Basketball Association

National Geographic

Nintendo

New Balance

Nutella

Newtons

NVIDIA

Netflix

Nescafe

Nestle

Nesquick

Nike

Nussbeisser

Oreo

Oral B

Old spice

Oysho

Omeprazole

Oceanspray

Opodo

P&G (Procter and Gamble)

Pampers

Pull & Bear

Pepsi

Pfizer

Popeyes

Parker Pens

Philadelphia Cream Cheese

Pizza Hut

Powerade

Purina

Phoenix Holdings

Propel

Ponds

Pure Leaf Green Tea

Power Action Wipes

PwC

Prada

Perry Ellis

Prada Eyewear

Pringles

Payoneer

Procter & Gamble

Purelife

Pureology

Quaker Oats

Reddit

Royal Bank of Canada

Ruffles

Revlon

Ralph Lauren

Ritz

Rolls Royce

Royal

S.Pellegrino

Sabra Hummus

Sabre

Sony

SAP

Simply

Smart Water

Sprite

Schwabe

Shell

Soda Stream

Siemens

StreamElements

Schweppes

Sunsilk

Signal

Skittles

Smart Food

Sobe

Smarties

Sephora

Sam’s Club

Superbus

Samsung

Sodastream

Sunkist

Scotiabank

Sour Patch Kids

Starbucks

Sadaf

Stride

Subway

Tang

Tate’s Bake Shop

The Body Shop

Tesco

Twitch

The Ordinary

Tim Hortons

Tostitos

Timberland

Topo Chico

Tapestry

Tropicana

Tommy Hilfiger

Tommy Hilfiger Toiletries

Turbos

Tom Ford

Taco Bell

Triscuit

TUC

Twix

Tottenham Hotspurs

Twisties

Tripadvisor

Uber

Uber Eats

Urban Decay

Upfield

Unilever

Vicks

Victoria’s Secret

V8

Vaseline

Vitaminwater

Volkswagen

Volvo

Walmart

Wegmans

WhatsApp

Waitrose

Woolworths

Wheat Thins

Walkers

Warner Brothers

Warner Chilcot

Warner Music

Wells Fargo

Winston & Strawn

WingStreet

Wissotzky Tea

WWE

Wheel Washing Powder

Wrigley Company

YouTube

Yvel

Yum Brands

Ziyad

Zara

Zim Shipping

Ziff Davis

[silentium-mentis]

Trainwreck: Inside the Astroworld Tragedy and Its Devastating Fallout

Netflix recently released a documentary that dives into the tragic events surrounding the Astroworld Festival disaster that took place on November 5th, 2021.

If you’re not familiar with Astroworld, here’s a quick breakdown.

Astroworld is a music festival founded by rapper Travis Scott, first launched in 2018. It’s held in Houston, Texas, and was inspired by the now-defunct Six Flags Astroworld theme park, which closed its doors in 2005. That park was a major part of Scott’s childhood, so he brought it back to life—at least in spirit—through this annual festival.

The event ran in 2018 and 2019, took a pause in 2020 due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and returned in 2021—setting the stage for the tragedy that followed.

I didn’t exactly want to watch the documentary. I lost a friend at that festival—Franco Patino—and the idea of reliving any part of that night was difficult. But I also wanted to understand what really went wrong, who was responsible, and how a tragedy like this could have been prevented.

This post will walk you through some of the key moments from the documentary as I rewatch it, for anyone who doesn’t feel ready—or able—to watch it themselves.

I know there are likely already posts out there recounting the documentary but I wanted to make my own.

Content warning: the documentary includes graphic, real-time footage of concertgoers being trampled, struggling to breathe, and being pulled over barricades for emergency CPR. Please take care before deciding to view it.

Before we dive into the details, I want to take a moment to honor the lives that were lost during the Astroworld tragedy. These individuals attended a concert and never made it home. They deserve to be remembered, not just as names in headlines, but as people whose lives were cut far too short.

Danish Baig, 27 🕊️

Rodolfo (Rudy) Peña, 23 🕊️

Madison Dubiski, 23 🕊️

Franco Patino, 21 🕊️

Jacob Jurinek, 20 🕊️

John Hilgert, 14 🕊️

Axel Acosta Avila, 21 🕊️

Brianna Rodriguez, 16 🕊️

Bharti Shahani, 22 🕊️

Ezra Blount, 9 🕊️

Their stories matter. Their lives mattered. May they rest in peace.

Several key individuals share their experiences throughout the documentary, offering firsthand insight into the chaos of that night. I may be missing some individuals, and I will add them later if I find that.

Kirby Gladstein – Hired photographer for Live Nation

Scott Davidson – Crowd safety expert

Jackson & Samuel Bush – Hired security guards

Mark Lentini – Former commander of the Houston Police Department

Sophia Santana – Registered nurse, concertgoer, and survivor

Jose Villegas – Onsite paramedic

Ayden Cruz – Concertgoer, survivor, and friend of Brianna Rodriguez

Kaia Redus – Concertgoer and witness

Arturo Sanchez – Concertgoer and survivor

Raul, Marcial, and Manuel – Concertgoers and close friends of Rodolfo "Rudy" Peña

Mark Elibert - Journalist and concertgoer

The documentary opens with a montage of the Astroworld Festival—vibrant, fast-paced, and full of energy. But that initial excitement quickly shifts into something darker, setting a clear tone of amusement unraveling into chaos.

“Folks are coming out, complaining of difficulty breathing.”

We’re then introduced to some of the key voices featured throughout the film that I listed, including photographer Kirby, and security guards Jackson and Samuel—individuals who witnessed the disaster unfold from the inside.

From there, the narrative rewinds to November 4, 2021, painting Travis Scott in a positive light. It highlights his community involvement, particularly through his Cactus Jack Charity Softball game, framing him as a hometown hero in Houston before the events of the festival take center stage.

A major red flag surfaces when security guards reveal they were hired less than 24 hours before the festival began.

They state they were in communication until 1-2 am, and were told to be there by 5:30 AM.

Jackson admits they were given “zero security instructions,” and had to rely solely on guidance from other workers on-site—most of whom were just as unprepared.

This lack of training and organization becomes glaringly obvious in the next scene. Crowds surge past formal entrances, trampling fellow attendees and climbing over fences at unsecured checkpoints with little to no resistance.

Mark Lentini, former Houston Police Department (HPD) commander acknowledges the chaos and the crowd’s desperation—but also points out a critical issue: while the festival paid HPD to be present for law enforcement, the police had no role in the event’s planning or strategy.

“We were there for law enforcement. We had no control over how the event was structured or managed.”

We then hear from Scott Davidson, a crowd safety expert, who highlights Travis Scott’s long-standing reputation for inciting high-energy—and often dangerous—crowd behavior. He references several past incidents that raised red flags well before Astroworld: the 2015 Lollapalooza performance where Scott urged fans to jump barricades and rush the stage, leading to his arrest; the infamous Fraunfield clip from that same year where he encourages the crowd after someone steals his shoe; and the 2017 Birds Eye View tour moment where he persuaded a fan to leap from a balcony.

Davidson shares that he was brought in by Live Nation after the tragedy to assess what went wrong. His conclusion is chilling in its simplicity:

“This was a case of blaring warning sirens.”

As the documentary progresses to 4:30 PM on the day of the festival, we’re shown brief glimpses of fans enjoying themselves, capturing the excitement and anticipation in the air. It then shifts to explore the origins of Travis Scott’s vision for Astroworld—both the album and the festival—framing it as an immersive experience meant to reflect the nostalgia of the now-closed amusement park from his childhood, which I mentioned at the beginning of this post.

The timestamp jumps to 7:45 PM, just as SZA’s set wraps. Witnesses recall a noticeable—and alarming—change in the crowd’s energy. With Travis Scott’s performance approaching, the crowd begins surging forward en masse toward the main stage, packing in tighter by the minute.

Jose Villegas, an on-site paramedic, is introduced just as the countdown to Scott’s set begins. Tension builds. The crowd compresses so drastically that even before the music starts, one attendee, Ayden Cruz, describes struggling to breathe, his body forced forward with no control.

At 9:02 PM, Travis opens with ESCAPE PLAN. One witness likens the sensation to an earthquake—his body rising and falling with the swell of the crowd. Another, caught in what they describe as a human “wave,” says it felt like their body was being squeezed from all sides.

The focus then shifts to Sophia Santana, who recalls the moment panic set in—she couldn’t breathe. Her voice trembles as she describes the overwhelming fear and helplessness in the crowd.

Security guards stationed at center stage echo her account, confirming that signs of distress were immediate and widespread. People were visibly hyperventilating, their faces changing color, some crying out for help while others struggled to push their way out of the tightening mass. The crush was intensifying, and with every passing moment, it became harder to ignore that something was going terribly wrong.

Next, we hear from Kirby (Live Nation photographer), who shares a chilling detail: she was “told to lean into the chaos.” At first, she doesn’t grasp the full extent of what’s unfolding—until she sees people desperately trying to climb over the gate into the media area, a supposed safe zone. It’s in that moment that the severity of the crowd’s panic becomes clear to her.

Her account transitions into a 3D visual breakdown of the stage layout. Davidson points out a critical design flaw: while the T-shaped barricade system was intended to improve crowd flow and safety, it ultimately backfired. With only two entry and exit points—one on each side—the layout created a trap with no real escape route once the crowd packed in.

Witnesses describe the unbearable compression, saying there was no space to move, their bodies being shoved left and right with no control. The screen cuts between footage of the live show and clips of attendees visibly struggling to breathe—faces strained, arms raised, some barely staying upright in the crush.

We then hear from Cruz again as he recounts the terrifying moment a “wave” of people slammed into him and his friend, knocking them to the ground. He describes the feeling as being “underwater,” as more and more bodies collapsed on top of him. Panic set in as he realized he was wasting energy trying to fight it—there was no space, no air, no way out.

The documentary cuts to disturbing, real-time footage: people screaming for help, faces contorted in fear, some with arms raised in the crowd like flares. Overlaying this are audio clips of desperate 911 calls, the urgency in their voices impossible to ignore.

We then see Cruz in a moment of sheer desperation—climbing a ladder attached to the Apple Music live broadcast platform, waving his arms, pleading with the crew to “stop the show.” But the music blares on, and the crowd continues to surge.

The focus shifts back to paramedic Jose Villegas, who recalls performing CPR amid the chaos and urgently relaying updates to medical command—who, he says, sounded shocked by what was unfolding. The documentary overlays more distressing footage of the crowd and audio of EMTs communicating back and forth, voices strained as they call for backup and continue resuscitation efforts in the field.

Meanwhile, Santana, having managed to escape the dense crowd, spots an unconscious body lying on the ground. Acting quickly, she checks the person’s pulse and performs sternum rubs—a painful stimulus used to assess consciousness. Miraculously, the man regains consciousness.

That man, it turns out, is also one of the documentary’s witnesses, Arturo Sanchez. He later reveals that after receiving medical care, doctors confirmed he had suffered a heart attack during the crowd surge.

The film cuts to 9:42 PM. Travis Scott is mid-performance of 90210 when he briefly halts the music after noticing someone in the crowd passing out. He asks the audience to make way for emergency responders.

As EMTs carry the unconscious body through the crowd, Travis continues to harmonize softly to 90210, blending seamlessly into a few murmured lines from SKELETONS. Then, as if on autopilot, he finishes the song and begins doing a robotic dance—eerily detached from the urgency unfolding just feet away.

Mark Elibert who was near the front of the stage, reflects on the moment. He suggests Travis didn’t fully comprehend the severity of the situation, saying he looked like he was “trying to figure out what to do next” as the body was being removed.

Clips cut to the back of the crowd, where attendees are seen yelling and motioning with their arms to stop the show. Kaia Redus, another witness, questions why the performance continued. She recalls thinking Travis had to have heard the screams and seen the desperate signals from the crowd.

And yet, after the brief pause, he continues the set.

Davidson emphasizes that the show should have been stopped midway through the set—but reveals a crucial barrier: only two individuals had the delegated authority to make that call, and both were representatives from Live Nation.

Lentini follows up, stating that police were actively searching for one of those two key decision-makers—the Live Nation manager—but he was nowhere to be found during the critical moments.

The documentary then cuts to a chilling clip of the front crowd, arms raised, voices unified in desperation as they plead with Scott to “stop the show.” Instead, he continues, pausing only to speak briefly about Pop Smoke before launching into GATTI.

Kirby expresses disbelief. Having photographed countless shows, she’s seen artists stop mid-performance for far less. Given the severity of what she was witnessing firsthand, she couldn’t understand why no one had pulled the plug yet.

Back at the medical tent, Villegas recalls performing CPR on one individual and managing to regain a pulse. But as he looks up, he realizes the horror is far from over—other EMTs around him are also performing CPR, each on a different unresponsive person.

By 9:51 PM, the Live Nation manager finally approaches the audio engineer to initiate a show shutdown. Davidson then reads aloud a chilling transcript of the conversation that followed, beginning at 9:52 PM:

“We have four active CPRs going on. Two are most likely dead. It is very, very bad. There are more crush victims than I have ever seen in my 25-year career. We have to have a discussion in [Travis’] ears letting him know what’s going on. We need to shut this thing down in eight minutes at 10 o’clock.”

Davidson notes that it’s unclear what—if anything—was communicated directly to Travis after that point. However, a separate conversation reportedly takes place between Live Nation and the Houston Police Department, ultimately allowing the concert to continue for several more minutes.

Despite this urgent plea, the show continues—and then Drake appears. Davidson explains that once Drake took the stage, police and organizers were reluctant to pull the plug out of fear of triggering mass panic within the already chaotic crowd.

And so, the music continued… even as people were dying.

Davidson after that, sits for a moment and says:

"The idea of a performance continuing while even one CPR in progress is underway is insane. Unprecedented. Not to mention, multiple." [...] "Of all the things that trouble me about this case...That's one thing I can't get past. How could they make that decision?"

By 10:13 PM, the show finally ends—marking the conclusion of day one of the festival. But for many, the nightmare is just beginning. Marcial recalls the surreal aftermath: flashing lights from a flood of medical vehicles—ambulances, EMT vans, even air units—surrounding the venue in a grim, chaotic scene.

All of the witnesses interviewed in the documentary had either friends or family members who were hospitalized that night—some of whom would later be confirmed among the eight victims who tragically lost their lives.

The first witness, Manuel, describes it as “the worst day of his life.”

In the aftermath, Day 2 of Astroworld 2021 is officially canceled. The Houston Police Department declares the venue an active crime scene, as Lentini recounts the scope of the investigation beginning to unfold.

Meanwhile, Live Nation holds a private meeting with the contracted media. Photographer Kirby recalls that the tone of the meeting was unsettling.

“They didn’t touch on what happened,” she says. Instead, she was instructed “not to post, not to make any sort of public comment on [the festival].”

It’s clear that silence—not accountability—was the priority in the hours following the tragedy.

As media coverage intensifies, rumors begin to circulate—claims that festivalgoers were being injected with drugs, a narrative that quickly gains traction online and in news reports.

But Kaia shuts that down immediately.

“That’s not why what happened happened.”

She criticizes the media for chasing sensational headlines instead of actually listening to the firsthand accounts of those who were there—those who lived it.

The scene then shifts to the now-infamous greyscale Instagram story—Travis Scott’s public apology. Shot in dim lighting with his hands pressed to his forehead, the video feels hollow to many.

Arturo calls the apology “a slap to the face,” saying it looked like something he only posted because he “had to.”

The documentary then moves into an emotional gut-punch: audio recordings confirming the deaths of two more victims that night—including the youngest of them all, 9-year-old Ezra Blount.

The documentary then cuts to a rapid montage of online reactions—screenshots of tweets, commentary from critics, and clips from popular YouTube personalities like Anthony Fantano. Many directly criticize and blame Travis Scott, holding him accountable for the role he played in the tragedy.

The timestamp then shifts to Travis’s sit-down interview with Charlamagne tha God. The energy is tense as Charlamagne asks the crucial question: Was he ever told to stop the show?

Travis responds:

“After the guests [get] off the stage, we’re gonna end the show. And that’s what we did. No other communication.”

His words offer little closure—only raising more questions about accountability, awareness, and what could have—and should have—been done differently.

The scene shifts to Jackson, one of the security guards, offering a sobering perspective.

“Whoever had any part in organizing and putting [the festival] together should be accountable."

Another witness echoes that sentiment in the next scene, pointing directly at Live Nation, stating simply: “Live Nation was in charge.” The question then hangs in the air—where did the failure begin?

The documentary cuts to footage from the courtroom, where we learn that 49 lawsuits have been filed against Live Nation. On top of that, a $750 million lawsuit names not only Travis Scott, but also Epic Records and Apple Music.

Davidson states plainly that the Astroworld tragedy “wasn’t an accident,” but rather “an inevitability due to the lack of foresight.”

Throughout the documentary, several scenes highlight the severe lack of oversight—starting with the fact that only two individuals had the authority to stop the show as stated before.

At the 1:05:45 mark, Davidson takes a closer look at accountability, placing significant blame on Live Nation. He outlines a number of critical failures—most notably, that the plan accounted for only 35,000 attendees at Travis Scott’s set, while the actual number swelled to over 50,000.

Live Nation began selling tickets before the final venue design was even completed—which is where the initial estimate of 35,000 attendees originated. It quickly became clear that profit took priority over safety. Tickets were oversold, the crowd size ballooned beyond the original plan, and the final layout—despite being marketed as safe—proved dangerously inadequate for the volume of people it was meant to contain.

Add to that the complete breakdown of entry point control and the glaring gaps in security across the festival grounds, and the scale of negligence becomes undeniable. But even then, it’s hard to direct anger at the security guards themselves—many of whom were hired the day of the event and received no formal training, learning how to manage the chaos through secondhand guidance from other workers.

Davidson goes on to reference text messages exchanged between event organizers and concert producers—messages that make it clear people knew the venue couldn't safely accommodate the crowd size. One message even reads, chillingly:

“Someone is going to end up dead.”

I am going to include screenshots of these messages that are shown in the documentary.

This second one, being sent right as Travis Scott was getting onto stage.

As this last text message is shown, Davidson goes on to say:

"But they failed to act before it was too late."

The documentary closes with a series of emotional scenes—witnesses quietly honoring the friends and family members they lost that night. Each reflection is heavy, filled with grief and the weight of lives that should still be here.

We see the lead attorney addressing the media, directly calling out Live Nation for their failure to prevent a tragedy that so many now believe was avoidable. Davidson takes a moment to acknowledge the bravery of those in the crowd who tried to stop the show, calling their efforts “heroic.”

Finally, the documentary cuts to a summary of the legal aftermath. We see Live Nation’s official response to the lawsuits, essentially claiming that “everything was approved and checked out.” They insist the number of attendees “did not exceed the approved capacity,” and that both the Houston Police and Fire Departments were informed of the safety protocols and event plans. They also maintain that “an early show stop was executed in proper fashion.”

But as the final scenes fade, it’s clear the damage was already done—and that no statement can rewrite the reality of what unfolded that night.

It’s revealed that all ten wrongful death lawsuits filed against Live Nation, Travis Scott, and other named defendants have been quietly settled out of court—for undisclosed amounts.

And yet, just three years after the Astroworld tragedy, Travis Scott made headlines once again—this time for breaking records with the highest-grossing solo rap concert tour in history, generating over $210 million in revenue.

The tour was produced by none other than Live Nation.

I know there's still so much more to cover—much of the documentary focuses on the emotional testimonies of witnesses recounting what they felt and who they lost that night. Trainwreck: The Astroworld Tragedy is currently streaming on Netflix and runs for 1 hour and 20 minutes.

Special thanks to director Yemi Bamiro for creating a documentary that gives space to the voices that mattered most.

Does the documentary place 100% of the blame on Travis Scott? No. But it absolutely sheds light on the role he played and the choices he made.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. The loss of Franco has stayed with me—deeply. The details of this event still haunt me, even now. I remember being at work when tweets started flooding in about what was happening at the festival. I hadn’t heard from Franco, but I figured that was normal—he was at a concert, after all.

But as the night went on, and reports started confirming fatalities, I felt it in my gut. Something wasn’t right. And when I saw Franco’s name among the list of those who had passed… I can't even put that moment into words. That night changed everything for me. I promised myself I would never attend a festival this large, this unregulated, no matter who was performing.

I do not support Travis Scott. I understand that stage lighting makes it hard to see, and I get that in-ear monitors can drown out a lot—but there were multiple points where he paused. He could have done more. He should have done more.

Given his long history of encouraging reckless behavior at past shows, it’s hard for me to believe he truly cared about what was happening right in front of him. Maybe that’s my emotional heart speaking—but it’s how I feel, and I stand by it.

[rabidline]

Shoma Uno on Top 3 Men of Figure Skating World (Ilia Malinin, Mikhail Shaidorov, Yuma Kagiyama) - June 1, 2025

Original interview link here by Wataru Matsumoto for Nikkan Sports. Shoma's comments are taken from the Colantotte 2025 event back in May 10, 2025, and was published physically and digitally by Nikkan Sports today (June 1, 2025) as part of their feature for 250 days leading to 2026 Milano Cortina Winter Olympics.

-- Uno retired from competition at the end of last season and has been working as a commentator this season, offering insights from a former athlete's perspective. As the pre-Olympic season wraps up, the one who stands out is Malinin. He executes all six types of quadruple jumps, including the Axel, which only he has successfully landed.

“I think Malinin emerged as a result of someone with extremely high physical ability performing jumps that are technically sound. While many skaters rely purely on athleticism to force their jumps, he possesses the necessary technique. Of course, this is only possible through hard work, but to put it simply, I think he was executing elite-level jumps from the very beginning. What everyone else finds difficult, he makes look easy.”

-- When Malinin visited Japan in April, he trained together with skaters from the Kinoshita Academy in Kyoto. Coaches and skaters who observed him up close noted that after landing a quadruple toe loop — which takes off from the left toe pick — the hole left in the ice was unusually small. When this was relayed to Uno, he provided a technical explanation from an athlete’s perspective.

“Figure skating is a sport where consistency and reproducibility are crucial. As a jump becomes more refined, it also becomes more compact and can be performed at a lower speed, which naturally results in a smaller mark on the ice. If a jump uses a lot of force, it leaves a bigger hole. For example, if you bend your knees and extend them straight, you go upward. But if your knees bend sideways, the force is wasted, and you just lose speed. When I heard about the small hole, I thought, ‘He probably jumps so effortlessly because he uses minimal force and has excellent control over his rotation axis.’”

-- At the World Championships, 20-year-old Shaidorov from Kazakhstan finished second. In the free skate, he pulled off an incredible sequence — starting with a triple Axel (three and a half rotations), then executing a three-jump combination that ended with a quadruple Salchow.

“When physically gifted skaters watch and study Malinin’s jumps, their own technique starts to resemble his. I felt that when I watched Shaidorov. It’s possible that in the future, we might see jumpers who can rival Malinin.”

-- With 250 days until the Olympics, Uno also emphasized the unique appeal of Kagiyama, who had a difficult season.

“From his opening pose to the final movement, Yuma delivers uninterrupted, beautiful jumps throughout. The tension he carries during performances actually works in his favor. Of course, he feels pressure, but he draws the audience in and moves them emotionally. If Malinin makes you think, ‘Whoa, that’s insane,’ then Yuma makes you feel, ‘I just witnessed something beautiful — I’m moved.’ That’s the charm of figure skating, where sport and artistry come together.”

[chenoehi]

been thinking thoughts about KH3, MoM theories, etc a lot lately and this is my current brain rot:

All the Org XIII ancient keyblade wielders seem to treat Sora with either derision or kindness.

Eg. Marluxia and Luxord are friendly to Sora when they’re fading away. Marluxia thanks him and Luxord gives him a card to help him. Luxord was arguably never unkind to Sora prior but he was still antagonistic. Larxene isn’t kind per se but she shows a different side briefly and even smiles at him in the end, which for her actually seemed genuine.

Meanwhile you have Xigbar/Luxu and Demyx. Both of which are, frankly, bastards (affectionately! I love them your honor) to Sora in KH2, DDD, and KH3 even when they don’t need to be. Like, just thinking about Xigbar antagonizing the shit out of Sora in KH2/Radiant Garden and like Cardi B I’m wondering what was tf reason.

Based on what we know of him now, we can make educated guesses as to why he acts that way — his character file is illuminating and offers a lot of insight as to why he may feel differently about Sora, in addition to how nosey af we know Luxu is.

Demyx initially acts friendly but that’s really just him addressing Roxas imo which he makes pretty obvious by speaking directly to Roxas in KH2. And while he was objectively terrible to Roxas in terms of ditching him on missions in Days, he was never actually rude or unkind to him that I remember. For the most part he’s friendly with him both in game and in comics (that I know of). And he seemed alright with Xion.

Sora? Nah. He’s sarcastic as shit and while I love me some barbs, I tend to agree with the opinion that sarcasm is veiled contempt.

In fact contempt is the word I feel fits best for how both Xigbar and Demyx act/feel toward Sora.

But Riku? Demyx calls out to him in Remind and starts talking like they’re besties, he smiles at him softly — which is not at all weird or like his soft smile for Ienzo, no not similar in the slightest — and he gets up in his personal space, which, while not entirely unusual for Demyx, is in contrast to his interactions with Sora. It’s made a little creepy by the odd familiarity with which he’s treating someone he’s supposedly just met — and not even properly. (it’s actually crazy to me but rn I’m realizing the org members almost never introduce themselves to anyone lol Sora has no idea who these people are, like he literally doesn’t know what to call them so he just says “it’s org 13” bc names? what’s a name?)

And this single solitary interaction between Riku-Demyx for me is all just so strange because there’s few people on record in the games that Demyx is actually friendly toward. Xigbar, Ienzo, Roxas, maybe Xion, now Riku. That’s an ..interesting mix. I’m not counting Vexen because dude was finding every excuse to walk away from science boy in RG before getting sucked into the scheme via manipulation (and arguably his own ego, cause you know, he’s the only one who could pull it off bc no one would suspect him). He literally claims himself that he had no real friends outside of Xigbar and we know that association alone is 👀 At one point Axel speaks somewhat kindly of him, but then Demyx was saying how much quieter it was and how he’s glad the loudmouths were unalived in Castle Oblivion. Not very neighborly of him, but then again Axel and Zexion were friendly enough to bet on who’d die next only for Axel to axe (aheh) him so a lot of that backstabbing shit went on. So maybe he was cool with Axel but clearly not enough to be friends with him, even though he apparently wanted friends. (On another note, I still find it super odd Axel chose to defend Demyx to Roxas instead of piling on, we never even saw them interact. It’s weird.)

It’s unfortunate we don’t get to see Xigbar/Luxu interact with Riku on his own but, like with Demyx, I think he would be less bastardly than he is with Sora. Maybe it’s a keyblade master thing, maybe Riku’s just earned more respect, or maybe he just can’t stand that Sora is the ‘hero’ putting others (Riku et al) in danger constantly by needing to be rescued or protected — at least from Xigbar/Luxu’s perspective.

[yuzurujenn]

[2024.11.25] Weekly Toyo Keizai Nov issue: Yuzuru Hanyu: An evolving entertainer

The world's most famous figure skater is now on the verge of further evolution. Ahead of the opening of his latest tour, "Echoes of Life," on December 7, he shares his thoughts on being a "professional" and the influence he holds.

Text Mai Yamamoto Design: Satoko Suzuki, Kanaka Nakamura Photography: Shuji Umetani Cooperation: WINEstudios

Yuzuru Hanyu achieved back-to-back Olympic victories in Sochi 2014 and Pyeongchang 2018. He was the youngest individual recipient of the People's Honor Award. At the Beijing Olympics in 2022, he attempted his dream of a quadruple axel jump, attracting worldwide attention. Yuzuru Hanyu is a rare figure skater. His popularity remains immense. Tickets for his shows remain hard to come by, regardless of the venue, and his performances attract fans from all over Japan and the world. His long-term commitment to disaster relief has garnered widespread support, creating a large circle of aid centred around him. After transitioning to professional skating in the summer of 2022, he has focused on expanding his figure skating. He is creating new entertainment that expresses his own stories through large-scale productions such as video and on-ice projection mapping. What is Yuzuru Hanyu trying to achieve? An exclusive interview delves into what happens when he takes action, including insights from related companies and local governments. Special interview

After turning professional, he held solo shows and solo tours, which were previously unimaginable in the traditional figure skating world. He created a unique show format called "Ice Story." He is also now exploring new ways of connecting with his fan community. What is the young entertainer thinking in the midst of such transformative times?

--What was the reason for the success of all your solo shows "Prologue," "GIFT," and "RE_PRAY"?

Honestly, it's hard to define what "success" means in this world. However, one thing I can proudly say is that tickets for all the shows were almost sold out. Many people bought tickets to see me skate. Ticket sales are an important indicator, and I want to maintain the perspective that "almost sold out = almost successful." When I think about the factors behind the success, it's not just my own ability, but something much bigger. How can we make the show better and what is most needed? Everyone involved in the show put in a lot of effort and thought. I think the success came as a result of that.

--In your first solo show "Prologue," you performed 8 programs in each show, mostly from your competitive skating repertoire.

Although not all the performances were full versions, "Prologue" was a show with many parts that I had to manage with my own strength and technique. The Tokyo Dome performance "GIFT" was coming up in few months, so I approached this show with the mindset that I was going to shape my solo show from now on.

The production and management team also took a trial-and-error approach to this new challenge. I didn't consider "Prologue" as an "experiment" but instead wanted to succeed as a complete piece of work. However, it was significant that this show helped us all share the image of a solo show as a team.

The next show, "GIFT," was a one-time performance. How do we showcase a skater in the vast Tokyo Dome? How could figure skating as an expressive art be expanded? It was an unknown challenge for all of us.

The challenges and appeal of the Tokyo Dome

--Normally, seats close to the rink are popular at ice shows, but for "GIFT," all the seats were far from the rink. Overcoming and making use of this condition was a key feature of the show. You incorporated elements of a music concert into the direction. For example, there were scenes where dancers performed around the rink. While such a direction is not unusual in live performances at dome venues, it’s not something you can do at a regular ice show since it would obstruct the view of the audience and make it difficult to see the skaters.

It was an unusually extravagant production for an ice show, but without it, the space between the rink and the audience would have seemed rather empty. Loneliness and solitude are important pieces in constructing the story of "GIFT," so there was also a desire to bring out these emotions. But in the individual sport of figure skating, the skater is already a solitary figure. Simply performing in an empty space would have made the performance feel too lonely. To surprise and entertain the audience, it was necessary to do something different from the usual.

I want everyone, no matter where they sit, to have a special experience.

--It's a refreshing feeling that it's interesting to watch from a distance.

It’s a difficult point. When considering demand, many people say the best experience is when they watch from the front row. The speed and dynamics of a skater are more noticeable up close, and you can feel their expressions and breathing and even sense their gaze on you, which is part of the appeal of sitting near the rink.

However, I don’t think the figure skating I want to show is limited to just the charm of close-up views. I always think, “No matter where you sit, I want you to have a special experience that you can only have in that seat.” In "GIFT," there were no seats close to the rink, so we focused all our efforts on how the skating can be seen from a distance.

--This approach of "no matter where you sit" is also carried over into the arena tour "RE_PRAY."

We refined the know-how that we gained from "GIFT." And one more point. In figure skating competitions, generally, the skaters perform on the long side of a 30m x 60m rink, the 60m side of the rink, with the side where the judges are located as the front. This is how people perceive the rink as being horizontal. However, after turning professional, I started placing great importance on showing the rink from the short side, with the 30m side as the front. On one side of the short side, we placed a large LED screen, and the audience sat in front and on either side. We used projection mapping to link the visuals on the ice with the skating paths, and we also used large gauze curtains. Since we are using the rink vertically, I am also conscious of utilising the depth and perspective of the space.

--So, the short side seems like the "winning" side, but there are more seats on the long side. Doesn’t that lower audience satisfaction?

Actually, there are things that can only be felt from the long side. In figure skating, how far you can glide in one step and how fast you can go is crucial, and this is most apparent during long-distance movements. Therefore, on the long side, you can enjoy the big horizontal movements that are typical of figure skating, while on the short side, the focus is on utilising the depth, which is a new attempt. Also, in programs that use projection mapping, the visuals on the ice and the skating trajectory are more clearly visible from seats further away.

--So, the experience is different depending on the seat.

When I look at the data of those who bought tickets for my shows, I see that many are repeat customers. Because of this, when I was thinking about the structure and direction of "RE_PRAY," I focused on the concept that 'by watching it repeatedly, you can experience a different world each time (replay).

Additionally, this is something common in dance and ballet, but in expressive forms like those, the appeal tends to be stronger on the front-facing side of the body. Plus, figure skating is like performing on a stage placed in the center, meaning the audience can view it from 360 degrees. Therefore, in ice shows, we must be conscious of the 360-degree perspective in the direction and lighting. The fusion of the 360-degree design of the skating and the 360-degree design of the staging creates a fascinating experience where different views can be seen depending on the seat.

--"RE_PRAY" seemed to attract many new fans.

"RE_PRAY" had a theme of games, and word-of-mouth spread among game fans, which led many people to come to the venue or attend the live viewing for the first time.

The production and management team always want to create a show that new audiences can enjoy. However, even so, the most important thing is to consider those who think, "After all, I love Hanyu most." First of all, I want to create something that my fans will think is cool. Then, I think about the people who come to the show for the first time. Since people who love music, ballet, or have a deep appreciation for the arts also attend, I want to ensure that the experience doesn’t feel cheap, but rather that they can think, 'I had a luxurious experience by coming to this show.'

--There are more and more performances attracting attention from fans of the works you've collaborated with, such as 'GIFT,' which has a picture book published by the creative group CLAMP, and 'Meteor,' a song from the anime series 'Gundam SEED'. Is this a conscious effort?

I do think about bringing in fresh collaborations. But when it comes to games, anime, or manga, when I collaborate or use songs, it’s important that "I am really interested in it, I love it, I have been exposed to it for many years, and I have accumulated knowledge and experience." If I don't have depth in my approach to the work, I can’t show respect for it, and my performance will end up shallow.

That shallowness would likely be felt by the fans of that work, so I don’t want to casually take advantage of the popularity of someone else’s work. I want to make sure I respect and value the people who love these works. Because I genuinely love it myself, I can understand what would make people who also love that work or field feel like, 'It would be fun if it were expressed this way.' I want to focus on doing things that I can dive into deeply and do well.

"As a medium and a brand"

--You once said that "Yuzuru Hanyu is a medium." Do you still feel that way?

Essentially, I still feel the same. There's a line in the song "Sainoujin Ouenka (Support Song for the Troubled Talent)" by BUMP OF CHICKEN that says, "There is no song sung just for me." I believe that’s true. On the other hand, many people experience a song that touches their hearts, or an image forming in their mind when they listen to it. That’s something the creator probably didn’t intend. It’s from the creativity of the listener that unique emotions and actions are born.

It's the same with my figure skating and the words I say. When the person who receives them recalls something from it and feels their imagination being sparked, they say things like “That touched me” or “I like it.”

In that sense, I see myself as a medium. When I try to convey something, it is not always possible for 100% of what I am thinking to reach the audience. But if, in that moment, my attempt to convey something helps someone recall or evoke something within themselves, then I believe that’s the most accurate form of expression.

--I imagine there are also difficulties in maintaining the 'Yuzuru Hanyu brand' as a medium and meeting expectations.

Right now, I have a team of many people who worked with me on my solo shows. We share and discuss the image of 'how Yuzuru Hanyu should be presented' through the perspectives of people with diverse expertise. I receive their advice and align it with my own objective view and feelings of 'what I want to do.'

In the end, only I know how I feel. Now that I am starting to place more value on my own feelings, I have a clear image of what I want to do. But, if I were to solely produce myself based on my own feelings, the product would end up too narrow in its perspective. Although, it feels strange to call myself a product...

Now, I can speak comfortably in front of my fans.

--Was it difficult for you to value your own feelings in the past?

I think I was much more empty before. In figure skating, everything is left up to the judges. The score changes depending on what the judges think. So, in order to earn points and win, I had to prioritise what kind of music to choose, what themes to pick, and what to express, rather than what I personally wanted to express. I spent a long time thinking about how I would be evaluated. It may also be a habit from when I was a child. I’ve always felt that the happiest thing is when someone becomes happy or when someone is pleased.

So, I wasn’t sure what personal happiness from within me really was. But over time, as I worked on ice shows and new programs, I gradually came to understand what happiness arises from within me. I think I’ve started to be able to cherish that feeling. In a good way, skating is no longer just something personal to me. Being part of this larger movement of ‘creating a show with everyone’s help’, I’ve started to understand what personal happiness is. Although it’s still somewhat unclear and difficult for me to grasp.

-- Is it like separating the happiness of "work = skating" from the happiness of your private life and balancing them?

I wonder. To some extent, I try to separate them, but in reality, they proceed simultaneously. Skating and the various projects that stem from it aren't absolutely essential to my survival, but without them, I would lose my sense of purpose. In that case, I think 'purpose' and 'happiness' might be the same thing. So, when my personal happiness aligns with the success of a project, I think, 'Well, in the end, they are one and the same.'

"Realising the presence of fans"

--You maintained a stance of not revealing your private life or sharing unnecessary information during your competitive years. However, in the past few months, you’ve been expanding the ways you communicate with your fans, such as through messages for YouTube membership subscribers and radio (audio broadcasts).

"The frustration of not being able to express what I want to convey has always been there since my competitive years. For example, after a competition where things didn’t go well, if I were to analyse the cause and explain it in detail, it might come across as making excuses. There was a long period when I felt I shouldn’t show any weakness, and I thought I couldn’t afford to show any openings. If I showed my weakness, there were some... how should I put it... bad people who would seize upon it. It's hard to say (laughs).

However, during the "RE_PRAY" tour, I came to realise that there are so many people, including those in the membership, who are genuinely looking forward to my skating. Of course, each fan has their own heart, and when I say something, the interpretation will vary among individuals, and the images that come to mind will be different. But now I can speak with the reassurance that these people are supporting me in such a positive and kind way. I’ve gradually started to be able to express things that I had buried deep inside me with the help of everyone.

--Is that the main difference between your amateur career and your professional career?

When I was competing, I was fighting with everyone, including my fans. No matter what performance or result I had, people would say, "You did a great job," or "I'm glad for you," but deep down, I'm sure everyone wanted me to come in first. In the professional world, I don't have to fight anymore. As long as I do a good performance and look happy, most of the fans will tell me that makes them happy too. Because of that, I can feel at ease and entrust myself to the fans.

--On the other hand, there is a unique excitement in competition. Without clear rivals, is there something you’re doing to maintain the enthusiasm of the fans in ice shows?

It’s difficult. This is something I’m thinking a lot about right now. It’s not easy to create the same excitement in an ice show as in a competition. Without a clear goal of overcoming something or becoming number one, the sense of unity between me and the fans, as well as among the fans themselves, can easily become fragmented.

However, through my skating, I believe I can evoke the memories of the competition days, like the landscapes seen at the competition venues and their surroundings, and the images and emotions from those times. Therefore, for my long-time fans, I consciously perform in a way that helps them recall what they hold dear. I believe it’s possible for them to feel the excitement from back then, plus see how much I’ve improved since.

Also, like the ‘suspension bridge effect’, I’ve had many situations where I fought through a crisis. For example, at the Pyeongchang Olympics, and at many other competitions where my ankle was in terrible shape, or my overall physical condition was bad. When I managed to overcome those tough situations and win, many people thought, "It's cool that he won against the odds."

My biggest goal now is to create something that makes people think, "This person's skating is really good," without needing the ‘suspension bridge effect’. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yuzuru Hanyu, born on December 7, 1994, in Sendai. He won gold medals at the 2014 Sochi Olympics and the 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics. In 2018, he was awarded the People's Honor Award. In 2022, he attempted the quadruple axel at the Beijing Olympics, finishing in 4th place. In July 2022, he turned professional. He pioneered a new frontier in figure skating with his solo performance "Ice Story." Since the Great East Japan Earthquake, he has been diligently working on supporting recovery efforts.

Source: Weekly Toyo Keizai 2024/11/30 issue, pg 62-69 Info: https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/B0DM558RM9 

[duckandash]

PROMPT 008 - DENOUEMENTS

The story's beginning stays the same even if everything diverges after a point.

Maybe Axel eventually finds people who get him. Maybe he finds somewhere that he can be seen, appreciated, and encouraged to flourish. Maybe he manages to find a job that he thoroughly enjoys. It's one that allows him to use all of his intellect and take credit for it instead of putting in all of the work just for someone else to put their name on top of it. The whole thing is enough to have those shoulders relaxed and the tense face smiling more than it ever did back home.

It's enough to get the attention of a guy who likes that smile and ends up liking the rest of Axel, too. A guy who is more than happy to listen to his rambling and reassure him when the dark thoughts from his past that still have deep claws in him get too loud. A guy who sees that Axel is someone worth loving and is willing to give him everything he's got to help him see that. A guy who is so in this for the long haul that they eventually make it official. Years after that, they even bring more unconditional love into their lives. Another child who was never given the chance to be shown the love of a family with time, patience, and attention.

Axel gives it to him, both of them. And their friends. And even throws it into his job. Because this Axel has been given the love he deserves and now can properly accept and give it in turn.

-

The other path isn't that lucky.

The other path leads him further and further down the path of being forgotten. Lost in obscurity, he lets the ditch he'd dug himself into when trying to get out of another swallow him whole. No friends, no contact with family. Coworkers, bosses and clients are the only real sources of communication he has regularly, and that's because it's necessary. All of his work, all of his research done and handed off to someone else who'll add it to their dissertation or breakthrough think piece which may or may not even have him as a footnote. He doesn't care. He's just here to help and keep on moving. He doesn't matter to anyone, not even himself.

That's why when the accident happened, no one was there to visit him. He doesn't even have anyone down as an In Case of Emergency contact. It's been so long since he's had contact with his family that it takes a while for them to be found and called.

And by the time they manage to squeeze a few hours to go see him?

He's already gone.

[losingdcgs]

TASK 3 — PHONE/SOCIAL MEDIA DEEP DIVE

template credits/links & some insight into your local dirtbag under the cut !

Letterboxd

While working at the local drive-in, you may as well have a Letterboxd account to log all the movies you're half-watching while avoiding your work responsibilities! Axel's top 4 rotate a bit, but they're always horror movies and more often than not from the 70s-early 90s. Bonus points if they have gooey practical effects! Currently occupying those spots: The Lost Boys, They Live, Alien and Evil Dead 2. Recent activity? Summer horror, obviously! The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Jaws, Friday the 13th Part 2, and Scooby- Doo. What's Scooby-Doo doing there? It was just playing at the drive-in and is still on theme in its own way. As far as reviews go, don't take them seriously. Does he really enjoy Killer Klowns from Outer Space enough to give it 4 stars? Is that an insult thrown at Victor's way or an odd compliment? Who knows! You'll find shitposts, insults, or a combination. What were you expecting? A vulnerable comment about how Eraserhead mirrors his family dynamic? You're on the wrong account. Moving on! Beyond the top 4 is simply a list of more movies he'd deem his favorites, maybe even comfort movies. Hey, when you're used to chaos and dysfunction, you take whatever you can find comfort in. Who cares if it's from the likes of horrors such as Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978), Hellraiser, Return of the Living Dead, The Thing, The Blob, and Possession.

Airbuds

Of course you'd find a music sharing app. How else are you going to find new music or more importantly, share your music taste with everyone else while flexing how much you listen to? Currently listening to Bite My Hip by Bauhaus, best we just move on from that. Recently listened to included Lucretia My Reflection by Sisters of Mercy, Dead Disco Dancer by O. Children, Kiss Me Until My Lips Fall Off by Lebanon Hanover, and Durdu Dünya by She Past Away — deep, dark vocals must be the vibe for now. Top artists? Provoker, The Cure, and Mareux. None of it is shocking. The Cure always seems to have a spot up there, Provoker's newest album is still heavy in the rotation, and Mareux just released a new album. On repeat: Open by The Cure with a nice 21 times in a single week — that song is nearly 7 minutes of spirally out, have fun explaining that one. Mausoleum by Provoker with 17 plays. Rip to everyone around him but he's still obsessed with that song! And you know what, good for him. The music video is a whole vibe, Christian plays around with his vocal range, and it just scratches that itch. And finally, Laugh Now Cry Later by Mareux at a solid 12 times. There's genuinely nothing to say about this one, it was just one of two singles released before the full album — expect it to be replaced by Wild At Heart because it's the sleazy flings with tourists summer season!! Assuming I've done math correctly, the minutes average around 9 hours of music per day in a week — unsurprising.

Spotify Profile

If Airbuds is a fun little way to share stats, this is where things get serious! There's an ever growing list of playlists to be found on this profile, most public but some private for certain eyes and ears only! Either way, they're all carefully crafted based on one thing or another, so naturally they have their own aesthetic cover and of course they're stills from everyone's favorite cult horror films. The highlights: never grow old / never die: Part of the tagline for The Lost Boys, a favorite film. The cover features a scene from the movie — an initiation of sorts on the bridge. While the title alone doesn't give away the contents of the playlist, you might catch on and figure out that it's a rotating collection of current favorites and sort of acts like an initiation to his music (again, everything has its own meaning whether or not you catch on). As such, it's the least organized playlist you'll find and the only one that consistently has music both added and removed from it. Trust, it's an easier way to find what you're currently into than going through a long list of liked songs. It usually hovers somewhere between 50-60 songs depending on how many newer releases are out at the current time. dead man's party: Name stolen from the Oingo Boingo song and paired with a scene from Trick 'r Treat. The only Halloween playlist you need — so long as you don't mind the likes of Release The Bats by The Birthday Party and She's a Killer by Alien Sex Fiend, they're not for everyone but this dirtbag swears by them. Don't worry, there are still some fan favorites — it's not Halloween without Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell and Thriller by Michael Jackson after all! But there's definitely more space for some personal favorites aren't always included on some of the popular Halloween playlists like Riboflavin by 45 Graves, The Creature from the Black Leather Lagoon by the Cramps and more! Yes, this was also in part a response to seeing multiple playlists titled "halloween music but it's actually good" just for the contents to be very...not Halloween. lured by the scent of sweat & leather: Alluring title paired with a still from the opening scene of The Hunger. This is the type of music for his preferred club scene — one drenched in red strobe lights and fog machines where you're swaying too close to strangers and leaving covered in sweat and smudged makeup with someone whose name you can't quite remember. Not exclusively goth, but dances in and around that realm. As such, you'll find tracks such as Blue Monday by New Order, Motion by Boy Harsher, The Bondage Song by London After Midnight, Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge, and more! Trust, this is the type of music he's trying to request while at Link In Bio even if there's no shot at hearing all 9 minutes and 37 seconds of Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus. candyfloss & cigarettes: If the concept of "guilty pleasures" was anything he was familiar with, this is where you'd expect to find them. As such the cover is a still from Killer Klowns from Outer Space — goofy horror b-movie not known for being particularly good but beloved all the same. On this playlist you can expect to find tracks that float in the synthpop realm, a mix of lighter songs than his usual go-to to enjoy the brightly colored circus acts and some that still own that darker/romantic melancholy thread for when you're sharing a cigarette in the parking lot as the last few circus goers climb into their cars. You can find tracks such as Cherry by Chromatics, Talk to Me by Male Tears, Journal of Ardency by Class Actress, Under Your Spell by Desire, and Digital Lover by Wayne Murray here.

Bonus ! Private Playlists

If you're so unapologetically yourself, then what's this doing here? While the vast majority of his playlists are public, there are a few exceptions to the rule. Typically, they're playlists he's made for other people — his profile doesn't need to be crowded with recommendations to whoever asks for them. Sometimes, though, there's something else...something that's personal enough to need to be hidden. dead air at 3am: Right out the gate, the title seems aware of itself, it's something that's not supposed to be here. But paired with a still from Eraserhead? Maybe it's just a playlist for eerie vibes, not that the tracklist supports that theory. Speaking of, there's nothing special about these songs individually, you can find them scattered across various other playlists, they fit the rich dark vibes this profile is known for. And yet, here together and carefully selected — they're privated. This playlist is a disorganized, dizzying frenzy of muted/dreamlike sounds mixed with louder, more explosive, and rushed noises. Hints at a desire/need to connect and be understood before framing it as gruesome, volatile, and something to be fearful of. Earnest confessional lyrics mixed with ones you have to pick apart and carefully examine against him to understand why they're there. A confusing back and forth perfect and only fully understood by someone full of attachment issues feeling safer in their dysfunction. Perfect for someone who would repeat the opening of Sail by Mareux like it's his mantra. These are the songs that burrow under the skin and drag a mirror to your face. in the rearview: Privated only because it's a work in progress full of recommendations no one asked for but will get anyway (maybe?). Songs full of dark synths, this is supposed to be the kind you recommend for a late night drive whether it's under neon lights or long stretches of dark highway like the still from Lost Highway used as the cover. And to be fair, that is what this playlist is mostly achieving with a few distractions. It's just there are some romantic undercurrents in a lot of these picks, and adding Nonstop Romance by Mareux right after it was released...could mean anything! In the rearview couldn't possibly have a double meaning and refer to things on the back of your mind and this definitely isn't the subconscious leaking through. Yeah, it's all merely a coincidence.

[riflehound]

hmm . .

perhaps a level two songtive , with identity labels , paraphilias , faceclaim mayhaps . . ( we are poc so maybe keep that in mind ) , uh disorder / symptoms ,

and just like . . idk , anything else you think would be fitting to add / that you think would be fitting for us , obviously . . yk , dont gotta add transIDs unless you feel like it ,

ooh fuck the song uh . almost forgot , either “ full of brandZz ” ( by lovepopstarzz , Proxie , kets4eki , and wasty ) , or “ WANT YOU MORE! ” ( by xaduma , d3r , and wasty ) :3 .

we dont have a preference for which song is used , but we might end up crawling back over ( when this request is completed ) to throw another request for whichever song you didnt do :3 ,

— 楓 from 💉🐾 / Shitty Experimented K9s ( a subsystem ) – @fagcvnt-bah ,

sure!! here u go :) we ended up doing both songs for u, i hope thats okay! also, i included paraphilia stuff under disorders / symptoms :3 ALSO ALSO i did my best for the faceclaims, but finding POC ocs is a bit difficult for these aesthetics (i get the struggle LOL, im native) so i hope what i chose is okay :)

full of brandZz

names: nova, skye, electra, sparky / sparks, haze, briar, bronx, knox, dex, axel, jax, vix

pronouns: hx/hxm, shx/hxr, it/its, xxx/xxxs, glitch/glitchs, .exe/.exes, web/webs, cyb/cyber, rave/raver or rave/raves, neon/neons, kandi/kandis, smoke/smokes, plur/plurs, glow/glows

age: late teens

role: socializor, confidence holder, addiction holder (felt like it fit with the rave themes, "addiction" is up to interpretation here)

species: human

gender: transmasc, bigender, punkregender, scemoandro, oldscenial, girlhidion, ravekandi

orientation: lesboy

personality overview: very social and outgoing, PLUR values, can be stubborn at times, cares deeply for friends, good at making lighthearted atmospheres, has a tendency to make sexual jokes or have "middle school boy" humor, likes to play harmless pranks on friends

notable traits / quirks: definitely the type to have a new hair color every week, types in a 2000s esque style with "XD" "LOLZ" and similar, enjoys dancing and DIY crafts

general aesthetic / vibe: scene, scenecore, glitchcore, rave, kandi raver

extra identity labels: gender non conforming, rhondite, roach, boyfem, calico cat, girlqueer, balloon animal, first victim, imp, lesboy4lesboy, kit4owner, freak4freak, scene4scene

disorders / symptoms: HPD symptoms, addiction symptoms, paraphilias (intoxication, exhibitionism, masochism, general paraphilia symptoms), mood swings (maybe bipolar or BPD? or just mood swings in general!)

faceclaims:

art 1, art 2, art 3, art 4

WANT YOU MORE!

names: killian, xavier, xander, nox, kyle, blake, ajax, jeff, jett, wolfe, vic, riley

pronouns: he/him, hx/hxm, it/its, spike/spikes, love/loves, kill/kills, slice/slices, xxx/xxxs, fuck/fucks, heart/hearts, beat/beats, rawr/rawrs, fag/fags

age: late teens

role: bpd holder, aspd holder, urgetaker, janusian

species: vampire

gender: boything, offboy, obsessivefreak, obsessivething, bloodgender, scemoandro, lovegoric

orientation: fagdyke gaybian

personality overview: quiet and reserved but not shy, very confident but tends to dislike most people, can be obsessive and tends to only show full symptoms to whoever is obsessed over, funny and insightful but may have quickly changing moods and not always be the most social or stable, can easily assert boundaries of self and close ones

notable traits / quirks: always carries headphones, likes to do art to express emotions, probably really into graffiti, tends to type with minimal caps

general aesthetic / vibe: emo, scenecore, alt

extra identity labels: feral pride, freak4freak, asshole, cannibie, crucifix, bpd4bpd, bloody dynamite, ticking time bomb, yapper4listener, red herring

disorders / symptoms: BPD symptoms, ASPD symptoms, obsessive, homicidal thoughts / urges, paraphilias (extreme sadism, stalking, degrading), recklessness / impulsivity

faceclaims:

art 1 and 3, art 2, art 4

[td-yuri-takes]

i love nichaxel but I like this specific brand of nichaxel where they're fucked up and evil actually. Nichelle harbors resentment towards the rest of the cast because she associates them with one of the worst points in her life and sort of isolates herself in favor of going by herself and trying to prove to the world she's capable. Meanwhile Axels still hella pissed that her team kicked her off so quickly and just is sort of a hater in general and since most of her team stayed the same she keeps that energy. Anyways since they weren't on the same teams and general wouldn't have as much animosity towards one another like for example Emma and Nichelle, they end up trying to ally with one another. Axel was shown to acknowledge that she needed friends in order to stay (though ofc struggles because she has like no social skills) and Nichelle's hard bc we have like zero insight on her relationships in season 2 but I assume she's probably self-aware enough to know she Needs allies here or she's gone so she goes to Axel initially to propose like a "hey we were both first boots and on the outs with our team, why don't we team up?" sort of thing until they realize how much they agree with one another. Axel is already sort of dismissive and mean towards her team (especially Ripper) showing she still holds a significant grudge, so maybe Nichelle goes to her while she's training and in their talk of an alliance and being on the outs, Axel shittalks the team and says that they're like either really incompetent (Damien, Zee, Millie, sort of Emma) or unfocused (Priya and Caleb), probably something like "they would NEVER survive in The apocalypse". In the show it's shown that Nichelle has somewhat of an ego ("I'm famous, I have no idea who she is" and the line about carrying her team in like ep 3-4) and that combined with this resentment towards the team, she finds herself agreeing and they sort of joke like "we're the only ones here who ACTUALLY want to win" (mostly Nichelle, mostly passive-aggressively side-eyeing the cameras while she does) and this agreement to work together turns into a ride-or-die hater duo where they share training methods, maybe Nichelle gives Axel some tips on how to make more friends (or how to lie and be fake take your pick folks) and Axel gives her some survival tips and combat lessons which are probably pretty useful considering the environment, all the while shit talking people and letting the hatred flow through them. Bonus points if wlw hostility with Mkulia when the teams merge.

anyways sorry this turned into a ramble but as a nichaxel shipper + Axel and Nichelle enjoyer pre-season 2 I feel like there could have been SO MUCH MORE done with them, they were so fumbled as characters this season and it is so aggravating because THEY COULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD!!! WHY!!!?! 💔💔🥀

NO BC THIS IS WHAT I WANTED IN S2 SSSSOOBBBBB

[theophagie]

So, Chain of Memories was fun

Not exactly fun to play, but fun. Fun stuff

Ultimately, especially in the latter half/quarter of the story, the game goes above and beyond to stress how everything that Sora goes through ties back to Kairi, who is (understandably) presented as the key to his memories, but. *Elton John voice* it's a little bit funny that-

Naminé messes with Sora's memories so that "Me, Riku and Kairi" turns into "Me, Riku, Kairi and Naminé", then into "Me, Riku, and Naminé", and eventually into "Me and Naminé". Kairi is the first one to be "taken out" out his memories. (But Kairi now is also back home, safe. Which is possibly why the memories of her were modified first? No worries about her, easier access?)

Sora's reason for being in Castle Oblivion in the first place, though? For being so eager and desperate to keep going? The hook, line and sinker? Riku

(The person he promised to protect when he was little?

... ͡• ͡• )

Replica Riku really jumped into the game with the steel chair. Immediately he acts as a source of insight into the real Riku's feelings and insecurities, but funnily enough what he says is also kind of a meta comment on the whole game itself. Sora did come here for him... and then halfway through the game he loses sight of his primary objective to focus on Naminé (and by proxy, implicitly, on Kairi)

Kairi's function as a truly important person and as a light in the darkness carries over from KH1 into the end of CoM, after Marluxia & Co are defeated and Sora tells Naminé to restore his memories. And at the same time... ah

The beginning of the game, with yet another steel chair. And it's especially telling that this dialogue with Aerith and the one with Axel happen almost back to back...

... because at this point most of Sora's memories are intact: he remembers everyone, he doesn't think that he has have Naminé "in his heart", and he's perfectly conscious of why and for who he's here. Riku is presented as a truly important person and a light in the darkness as well. Directly in one case ("I'm the good fairy and I'm warning you to not lose your way"), indirectly in the other ("I'm the evil fairy and I'm inciting you to do just that").

Fun stuff :')

A couple of miscellaneous things that I didn't know how to integrate into the post (while playing the game I noticed other stuff scattered here and there too - there's some cute things even in the Winnie the Pooh world! - but I didn't want to make this post too obscene in length so I let them go) (+ obligatory special mention to the meteor shower. The meteor shower............):

TLDR, post and game summary:

[valorxdrive]

[anon] give more controversial opinions :| [/anon]

FIRST OF ALL.

Yes, I do as a matter of fact.

And y'know these are interesting to explore! I'ma keep it relegated to KH brands of topics, and not let broader ones be an easy escape. So with that said!

Relationships within KH have been bastardized by the fansphere. (And to some degree canon as well.)

Now this is one that I've felt for a long while with the tonal shift of the internet. Where concepts outside of the loved and accepted were more or less hammered out. I want to actually take a moment to note how the idea of 'Found Family' and nailing the 'Caretaker' of a respective trio has done egregious harm in a series that can explore people walking their respective paths of life. The more popularized variation of events is usually 'The responsible' and 'The bundle that can't save their lives from a toaster'.

For two good examples of this, I'd like to bring Riku and Aqua respectively to the table. Aqua in particular and how she has been doomed pretty much to the 'Momqua' trope that I hate with my heart and soul.

This narrative of where she's some glorified babysitter has been heavily popularized. To where she's stern as an ironing board, beyond watchful, basically infantilizing the cast of characters where she can learn just as much from. Given this is a series where people from multiple walks, ventures and perceptions from what they've gained run prevalent, I say it runs really disrespectful overall. Being in the position to 'Look over' Terra and Ven as the Keyblade master of her group, a lot of this I'm certain leaned from her being the 'girl' of said group, thus the 'Mom friend.'

Perspectives of Riku falls to this except not as much of an extreme. From how I've seen fan perception, a lot of his status as a 'Guardian' translates to him being far removed. How he's the distant (and brooding) soul gridlocked into strictly 'protecting', being a source of wisdom, and in this case having that lens stuck to where this is all he's about. These characters aren't being given their shots to actually breathe and and dabble into their concepts of humanity that'd be cool to explore.

This also leads into the angle that I believe that over the course of KH's lifespan, the idea of 'Trios' have done a lot more harm than good. These locked sects help propagate a dynamic of where it's the 'Looked after' and the 'Guardian'. A series where valuable insight and crossing mismatchups can actually be pretty beneficial for a cast that empowers themselves on self-discovery.

Basically, you can boil this down to both misconceptions and overall missed potential.

For example, take the 'Sea Salt Trio' and a firm look at all they've went through. In particular, how there is a LOT that Axel has to actively answer for (on top of still slinging Saix along.) Can you picture this as the grounds where Roxas and Xion would want to easily forgive and forget? Could things be made better? Possibly, but aspects like this wind up being overshadowed by the previously stated dynamics.

Companions, as individuals crossing the other, I believe a lot more light finds itself well deserving of being perceived.

As for that bit that relates to Canon, this is mainly because despite having 'Trio' set ups, this is underutilized when it comes to the mainstay cast from console games as their journeys are often split apart. Group dynamics have been given a lot more polish/shine in the KHUX and Dark Road set ups.

@tenebrave

[fearsmagazine]

THE TOXIC AVENGER oozes into Hall H at San Diego Comic-Con!

Featuring Writer & Director Macon Blair, Troma Co-Founder Lloyd Kaufman, Peter Dinklage, Elijah Wood, Jacob Tremblay, Taylour Paige and exclusive clips from the film, limited-edition swag for attendees, and behind-the-scenes chaos with the cast and creators.

Peter Dinklage as “Toxie” in the action, comedy, horror film, THE TOXIC AVENGER, a Cineverse release. Photo courtesy of Yana Blajeva/Legendary Pictures.

Get ready for mayhem, mutants, and mop justice! Be among the first to dive into the wild world of The Toxic Avenger — the UNRATED, no-holds-barred reimagining of the cult classic from Troma Entertainment. Join writer & director Macon Blair (I Don't Feel At Home in This World Anymore, writer for Marvel Comics/Dark Horse Comics), iconic Troma co-founder Lloyd Kaufman, and an all-star cast including Peter Dinklage ("Game of Thrones"), Elijah Wood (The Lord of the Rings franchise), Jacob Tremblay (Room, Wonder), and Taylour Paige (Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F, Zola) for an unforgettable panel. Hear behind-the-scenes stories, exclusive insights, and join a live Q&A. This is one toxic takeover you don’t want to miss! Hall H.

The Toxic Avenger: Unrated & Radioactive, Thursday, July 24, 2025, 5:30PM – 6:30PM.

When a downtrodden janitor, Winston Gooze, is exposed to a catastrophic toxic accident, he’s transformed into a new kind of hero: The Toxic Avenger. Now, Toxie must rise from outcast to savior, taking on ruthless corporate overlords and corrupt forces who threaten his son, his friends, and his community. In a world where greed runs rampant… justice is best served radioactive.

Written and directed by Macon Blair, based on Lloyd Kaufman's "THE TOXIC AVENGER," the film stars Peter Dinklage, Kevin Bacon, Elijah Wood, Taylour Paige, Jacob Tremblay, and Jane Levy.

THE TOXIC AVENGER, distributed by Cineverse, will be in theaters August 2025.