#awful thing to say and think but idk what to do anymore for myself

[mcsiggy]

if im honest, im trying very hard to not publicly be upset about how the internet censorship has ruined so much for me and every other adult creator's income out there where i feel like the moment i cant post nsfw on patreon, i feel like that's it for me. i don't have anything else outside of what i do now and i'm just, tired.

[girl-bateman]

Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍

[whenthegoldrays]

Hmm

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

[todayisafridaynight]

grabbing the ichi plush by the neck and death gripping it like 'good things are to come its all going to be ok good things are to come' like its a lucky amulet

[zipquips]

.

[lovecrazedpup]

i dont want to sleep

[darnell-la]

Logan in a rut has me brain rotted. I’d love if you could write something about this. I think he would try and isolate himself not matter what but it gets to the point where he can’t hold back anymore and needs relief. Idk if he would be more possessive and rough or if he would end up whiny and desperate almost subby.

note: this is a younger Logan Howlett who ends up a bit subby. he would 100% beg the reader to help him because he would be too embarrassed and shy to just man up and dominate her (we have different thoughts of Logan almost every day).

we will be worrying more rut!logan once we get caught up with our college work. we wanna make bro nasty…

———

Logan’s time has come. He hoped it wouldn’t show, but every day that passed, it gets worse. The first day, all he had to do was rub one out, but after the second, he knew he was fucked.

He couldn’t help himself. He fucked his pillow. The man was beyond fucked up that night. He had ripped his pillow open with his claws and buried his cock inside, moaning the girl's name like he’s never before.

Y/n and Logan had been friends for years. A little flirting here and there happens. They might even get a bit touchy but never have they sat and talked about what they were. Especially since the man was known for keeping his flirt up with Jean.

Logan wasn’t surprised when the only person he could think of was y/n. She was pretty, her body always sent a shock through his own, her eyes would have him lost in seconds, and she was the only one around here with common sense.

At times, he hated all those good things about her. Like now. He’s sitting across from her in the kitchen, watching her sip on her drink and watch YouTube on her phone.

All the innocent things she does, makes him so damn hard. He can’t help himself. “G-Goodnight,” Logan said as he got up to leave. He needed to rub one out again. Maybe he’d sneak into her room and cum on her sheets. He needed something that was close enough to her.

“Aw, I was gonna ask if you could walk and get some wood with me, but I’ll get it myself. Goodnight, Logan!” She smiled at the man before he turned the corner, needing to get out of there.

He hoped he could get himself to go upstairs without struggling. Without turning back around to beg Y/n, he couldn’t hold it after her thought of her saying she’d be getting wood tonight.

It’s been almost an hour, and Logan is sitting on the stairs, cock pulsing through his thick jeans. He swore his balls were blue already.

He almost got up to get this over with and grab y/n, pulling her somewhere to at least cum on her face, but he heard the lights cut off in the kitchen.

He peaked around the corner, seeing y/n walk down the hallway and out of the mansion to do her night walk for some wood.

“Fuck,” the man groaned, already thinking of how good he’ll be feeling once he gets his hands on her. He needed to touch her. It’s only been a few short days, but he can’t control it anymore.

The man stalked behind y/n, making sure she wouldn’t sense anything behind her as she walked through the woods with a huge bag to carry back a few dry sticks.

Logan shook his head at the sight of her headphones, knowing she couldn’t hear a thing around her. This was a safe place, but now that he was going through this feeling from hell, it wasn’t anymore. At least for her.

Y/n placed her bag down and took her headphones out before picking up thick and dry wood that she could use for the fire tomorrow night. The way she sang, only made the man want her more. He needed her now.

“Hey, y/n?” Logan spoke, making y/n jump from the unexpected presence of someone else. “Oh, god! Hey, Logan,” the girl smiled up at him as he walked towards her, looking down.

“I-I know this is kind of a weird time, but I need to ask you a question,” Logan said, feeling nervous now that she’s right here. “Yes, ask me anything,” she smiled as she shifted her body towards him.

“Fuck, I — Y/n, I’m going rough a rut,” the man blurted out. This was not a part of his plan. He was going to turn y/n around and shove his cock in her mouth before carrying her back to the mansion, but now he’s stuck.

“Oh — I-I don’t really know what that means, but I can still help you,” she said. “Y/n, it hurts,” the man spoke. His voice came off as a beg which made y/n feel sad for him, even though she had no idea what hurt.

“What is it, Lo? Tell me, and I’ll help you,” she went to get up, but Logan stepped towards her and placed a hand on her head, softly pushing her back down. “It hurts,” the man shifted her head just a little, making her realize his print was right in front of her face.

“Logan,” she said, loss of words at the sight of how hard his cock tried fighting through his jeans. “I-I don’t know what to do about that. Maybe take some pills. Cool it down?” She suggested, but he shook his head.

“Need you, y/n. I need you,” the man said low, needing her to touch him. “I-“ the girl cut herself off, taking a deep dive into her thoughts. The man sounded like he was in horrible pain. He was a friend, so this wouldn’t be bad, right?

“Okay, but I don’t know if it’ll help,” she said, not knowing that this would be more than enough. Y/n slowly reached up to unbuckle his belt. She could see his legs shaking a little from how nervous he was.

He had no idea what came over him. At first, he was going to get what he wanted. Use her like an animal, but now — Seeing her like this and willing to help him, made him feel better. She was going to take care of him.

“P-Please hurry,” the man begged as her hands slid down his clothes cock through his boxers after his shorts fell to his knees. “Did you cum?” Y/n asked, confused but the wet patch was only pre cum. A lot of pre cum.

“P-Please, y/n, fuck,” the man balled his fists, trying to keep himself from crumbling right then and there. He needed to leak in her mouth. No place else. Only her mouth.

“Okay, okay,” y/n worried as she finally pulled his cock out, and god, was he hurting. The veins that covered his cock, showed like crazy. His tip was sticky. His balls were stiff and ready to explode.

“Baby, please!” The man begged louder. Y/n quickly wrapped her lips around his cock and sunk down to take him all in. Well, as much as she could. He was very big.

“G-God,” the man breathed out as his head tilted back. “Oh my god, thank you. Thank you so fuckin’ much, baby,” Logan covered his face with his hands as his heart raised, feeling himself close.

“Oh, fuck, baby — yes,” the man moaned as she quickens her paste, slurping and coating his cock with her spit as she sucked a big roughly.

“Baby, please, let me cum. P-Please, I need to cum,” the man begged, wanting her to decide what he could do. Y/n nodded her head, not knowing what else to do, but she wanted him to cum. Have wanted to make him feel better.

“T-Thank you,” Logan moans loudly as his col twitched, spilling down the girl's throat. Y/n continued, sucking the man as his eyes crossed from the feeling of her emptying his sack.

“G-God,” he couldn’t keep himself together. She was so good at this. He wished he could have this every night before he went to bed.

“S-So good, y/n. So fuckin’ good,” the man let the woman know how great she was. Y/n’s glossy eyes looked up at him, feeling herself grow wet, but she knew she could deal with it herself.

“Get up, baby. Needa takes you back to my room,” Logan pulled y/n to her feet. Confused, the young lady allowed him to throw her over his shoulders.

“I can smell you, and I don’t want to leave you leaking for the night,” Logan said as he walked back towards the mansion. “I’ll be fine, Logan. I-I need to head to bed,” y/n spoke, a bit nervous about this all.

She thought that after she did him this small favor, that would be it. He had other plans. He wasn’t letting her go.

“You’ll sleep with me tonight. Tomorrow we’ll move your stuff to my room so you can sleep there every night,” the man thought way further than she thought.

“I don’t know if we can do that. We’ll have to tell Charles about our shared room, meaning everyone has to know, and I don’t know-“ she tried saying, but he cut her off.

“Baby, please. I’m fine with everyone knowing about what happened tonight. I can’t ignore how much I need you anymore,” Logan admitted.

“What if this happened again? What if I couldn’t walk to you from how hard I was? You do this to me, baby, so I need your help — I need you,”

Y/n sighed to herself then accepted what he wanted. Logan gave the girl a small peck on her side as he continued walking towards the mansion.

[coco-loco-nut]

Hii!

Can I please ask for an angsty fic with Max, where the reader defends him from Jos after not finishing his race in Melbourne...idk if you remember when Max kept his helmet for four hours after a race because he was afraid of what Jos would have done to him after not winning...and the reader basically tells Jos to get lost even if she's like 5'4 and definitely not as intimidating as them both lol.

And then maybe after the win in Suzuka, they "reconcile" but she still reminds him to act right around her boyfriend, who's now a man and not a little boy he could pressure like he once did.

Sorry if it's too long!! Thanks for taking your time and reading my request!

Guard Dog

Pairing: Max x Reader

Summary: You are sick and tired of watching Max take Jos' shit

TW: verbal abuse

A/n: thank you soooo much for the rec, I love writing these out so much <3

requests open masterlist

----------------

"Maxie... are you okay?" you wait patiently by the door to his driver's room, careful not to barge in like Jos would, as you have for the past year since you first witnessed Jos' beratement of his son. He is sitting on the couch with his helmet between his hands. The fire causing an unpleasant start to the race, and you are just glad you got here first.

"I'm okay," his voice cracks and you step into the room, closing the door behind you. "I know it wasn't my fault, but I can't help but feel like it was my fault," Max looks in your eyes, the fire brewing behind them. You were genuinely the sweetest girl he's ever met, and to get you mad took a lot. God help you if Jos shows up, you are tired of Max feeling bad even when he podiums.

"You're right, you didn't do anything wrong, the car failed you today," you stay calm, sitting beside him and cuddling into him. Max stays quiet, enjoying your warmth, and decompressing from the start. He can understand why the fans were so happy to see him lose, in fact, if he wasn't himself, he would join them. No, the fear of his father is what has him on edge. Rightfully so, because a few seconds later the door is slammed open again.

"Max, what the hell did you-" Jos starts and you launch yourself off the couch. Jos and Max were big guys, and you were average height for a woman, 5'6 or so, but you didn't seem like it in that moment.

"Shut the hell up and leave. You have nothing useful to say and you are going to shift blame to Max who had NO fault in the DNF," you snarl, setting yourself up as a barrier between the two, Jos still in the doorway and Max on the couch.

"Girl, I don't know who you think you are, but I am Max's father, and I can-," You cut Jos off before he can continue.

"No, you aren't his father. A father doesn't talk to his son like that, you are simply a man who shares the same last name as Max. A father is someone like Carlos Sainz Sr or Lawrence Stroll. No, you are a man- sorry a boy in a man's body- who can't cope with the fact that he doesn't race anymore and wants the man who shares the same last name with him to be impossibly perfect and win every single race, even when the car breaks down." You sneer at the man. "You need to leave, before I call security and make them remove you," you don't back down, instead you step closer. Max watches in both awe and fear.

"I-"

"Leave, Jos, now. Don't make me repeat myself," you say, practically slamming the door behind him. You turn around and look at Max, seemingly calm and normal. He looks at you bewildered.

"That was the sexiest thing ever. Thank you, Schatje, you didn't have to do that," Max hugs you, a large weight off of his shoulders.

"Of course I did, who else will be your guard dog?" You smile at him, squeezing him tighter. "Now, get changed and get back to the garage," you tell Max, stepping out to the room. You let out a deep breath, surprised with how you treated Jos and stood up for Max. A couple minutes later, Max rejoins you, quickly stopping inside hospitality for a snack.

The two of you avoid Jos, going extremely low contact, not that he was trying to. Jos would never admit it, but he was embarrassed at how you spoke to him, and his retreat allowed him to ignore it. Instead, you and Max enjoyed your time together in Japan. The both of you were aware Jos was there, but chose to ignore it. After Max won, Jos warily approached the two of you.

"I wanted to congratulate you on winning. You drove well," Jos says stiffly, silently calling for a truce. You let Max take the lead on the conversation.

"Thank you," he says, feeling like a little boy again, but accepting the temporary truce.

"It was good seeing you Jos, but we need to go," you interject, sensing the still tense atmosphere. The older man, still a little scared of you despite your sweet demeanor, lets you go, not quite willing to cross you again.

"Love you, Maxie"

"Love you too, Schatje,"

[ironladders]

"I circled half the globe searching for him, but he was gone."

Starscream ;_;

RIGHT?? IT'S SO SAD .

and i have sooo many thoughts about this whole situation with skyfire/starscream that's been presented to me, if you dont mind anon im gonna use your ask to ramble a little

(disclaimer im sure nothing i have to say here is particularly new & has been said by those who've been deep into TF longer than myself but i need to get this out my system anyways. and also im still watching through g1 so if im horribly mistaken about anything #oops)

unless i missed something, i don't think it's specified in "fire in the sky" how long starscream looked for skyfire?? but just thinking about that line.... he obviously didn't immediately go back to cybertron, he didn't just give up on skyfire. starscream cared about skyfire enough to look for him, only leaving after (i assume) he realized he didn't have the resources to conduct a proper search for his companion. and i mean can you imagine being starscream in that situation???? your partner just disappears into a storm, and no matter how far and long you look you're unable to find them????????

i get starscream, man. i'd also become awful if that happened to me.

and here's the thing: i stumbled upon this post which posits that the decepticons happening to stumble across skyfire in the ice was no incident, but starscream's own doing, and i LOVE this theory/headcanon so much. when i first watched the episode yesterday i was thinking that it was funny they just happen to be mining right where skyfire was frozen so it's nice to see my suspicions affirmed LMAO

i honestly love that episode so much because as i learn more about starscream and transformers as a whole i think little tidbits like that offer a deeper look into who he is (or was, idk) beyond just megatron's second-in-command. he was a scientist, an explorer, a friend. "was" isn't even the proper word here, because he still is all of those things, he just...... applies them differently, i suppose. which is the real tragedy in who he is as a character.

beyond starscream and his search for skyfire, you wanna know what i've REALLY been thinking about a lot with these two? when skyfire becomes a decepticon (for like a day lol but still), starscream immediately declares that when he overthrows megatron, skyfire will become his second-in-command. not any of the other seekers, not either of the waves, not literally anyone else who's been a decepticon for more than an hour, but skyfire. his long-lost science partner. on starscream's end, virtually nothing about his relationship with skyfire has changed. he still trusts him as much as he did millions of years ago, to the point he'd be willing to have him at his side as leader of the decepticons.

but on skyfire's end... the starscream in front of him is different from the one he knew. war and being a decepticon changed starscream for the worst, something that unveils itself very quickly to skyfire. one of the first things he asks starscream after becoming a decepticon is if starscream is genuinely happy about being a decepticon warrior over the scientist he used to be. skyfire can't believe that the person standing in front of him could be the starscream he once knew before being frozen. still, it's starscream, so skyfire ends up going along with things up until he can't ignore his morals and deny that he's on the wrong side anymore.

that is where the second tragedy happens for starscream: betrayl, by the man he'd waited to get back for so long. he finally got skyfire back, only to lose him all over again.

if skyfire had never crashed that day -- if they'd never gone closer to explore the earth in the first place -- would starscream had gone down such a dark path? would he have taken countless lives, and become the ruthless decepticon he is now? does it eat at skyfire, knowing that in his absence starscream lost who he once was? or perhaps he'd still be the same starscream, but skyfire would be at his side serving the decepticon cause. maybe they both would've been so drastically changed by the years of cybertron's war together.

skyfire is a living, formerly frozen relic of the past before everything went wrong. starscream has aged far beyond that, to the point of no return. as much as they surely both want it, and regardless of what happens to them, their bond can never go back to what it once was.

god i just. i need more!!! i need to watch more transformers and read more of the comics and see more of these two!! i watched tfp + some of the live action movies as a kid but this is my first time learning about skyfire and this thing he's got going on with starscream and it's fascinating to me i can't believe i didn't know about this before!!!!! but it's also so fucked up oh my god!!!!!

ok yeah ive gotten the brainworms out my system. idk how to end this here's screenshots i took that i found funny

[humongousgothskeletonfarm]

tsc thoughts while reading (beware of spoilers) starting with -

david wymack my fucking beloved

also i never rlly liked/cared for thea but her scene with jean and her nickname for him was cute

chapter 3 thoughts:

jeremy being in awe of neil and the foxes is giving me life

fanfics with alvarez in them gonna go crazy now that we actually have a first name for her (and don’t have to invent one)

oh they rich rich (in reference to jeremy’s family butler?!)

jerejean first interaction!!!!

chapter 4:

omg sunshine court mentioned

having the sudden realisation that i can never read fanfics that have jean’s perspective or anything about the how the ravens work, raven!neil/aftermath of the kings men in the same way again

my neighbours are having a party and while i’m loving the music and absolutely jealous i’m not there, it’s really distracting me from reading

ngl i rlly miss neil and andrew and the foxes please let me see my family soon

‘ what you hold onto is less important than the act of holding on itself’ nora sakavic shut the fuck up you philosophical genius i’m gonna cry this is so real to me

renee i love u

WIT WTF JEAN IS NINETEEN I DIDNT KNOW THAT OH MY GOD BABY HE JOINED THE RAVEN LINEUP AT SIXTEEN WTF

i’m drinking red wine while reading and i think that’s appropriate… also i’m listening to that jean moreau playlist someone made and it’s mega depressing https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5zlPt63Ap0AjJQ1Ff5OKrd?si=75oEzLE8SO-bfJwewM8Evw&pi=a-ge04jIlVTJGY

this is so funny to only me but i’ve been hyperfixating on one direction again and zayn just dropped new music so everytime i read about jean’s raven roomate zane i think of one direction and confused myself a bit about what fandom i’m reading rn

fuck riko u sick fucking fuck u put jean into a box with a singular hole for air and left him to die u fucking cunt

KEVIN ASKING JEAN TO PROMISE NOT TO KILL HIMSELF AFTER NORA WROTE COUNTLESS DRAFTS IN WHICH JEAN KILLED HIMSELF WHILE ON THE PHONE TO KEVIN AND THE ONLY TIME SHE DIDNT KILL JEAN OFF IS THE VERSION SHE PUBLISHED AND THE REASON WE GET TO HEAR HIS STORY TODAY IM SO BROKEN

jean’s ‘gift’ from the ravens with his broken magnets, blacked out postcards and angry letters is making me cry he deserves so much better

slowly realising that this book is gonna be super triggering lol whoops

a cool evening breeze 🥲

THAT CREEPY LITTLE GOALKEEPER IS MY FAVOURITE GUY OK

‘kevin saw nothingn but the court, but jean had stopped hoping for more than that years ago’ shut the fuckkkk uppppp i cant do this anymore kevin/jean relationship is so deeply important to me (i say this about everything)

chapter 5:

SECOND NEIL/ JEAN INTERACTION OF THE BOOK IM SO FUCKING EXCITED

‘of course it’d be you, you tedious malcontent’ ‘good morning to you too’ is so ‘morning sunshine’ ‘fuck you’ coded (neil and matt bromance confirmed)

the amount of mitski on this jean playlist is making me sick

FUCKING SCREAMING OMFG THIS IS THE JEAN/NEIL CONTENT I YEARN FOR

‘abominable cockroach’ aww jean u say the sweetest things 🥰❤️ neil loves u too babe

literally devouring every last scrap of information jean feeds us about neil - his slow, hungry, hateful smile and the madness in his eyes (neil baby i love u never change)

oh jean don’t diss aaron, do u know how many fanfics have been written about u two

tsc is confirmation that jean moreau will come into ur house and judge u based on the contents of ur fridge (and then throw out ur stash of lollies)

‘to have a real match as a palate cleanser’ jean is really trying to win my favour by borrowing neil’s sassiness huh (no wonder i love them so much together) ((and yes i know he’s BEEN sassy ok))

jean reaching for the tv screen as if he could save neil and describing andrew running for neil as if hell was on his heels is making me absolutely giddy idk whether to scream or cry i’m doing both and i’m giggling

I bet on losing dogs is so jean moreau coded omg

holy fuck nora, the moments after the raven/fox match when riko tries to kill neil is fucking amazingly written. reading from jean’s perspective as he watches the game on tv, the tension, the breathless anxiety and confusion of the scene is palpable i coukd fucking taste it, my chest is tight just reading it

JEAN SAYING ANDREW WILL BE COURT IS IMMACULATE

[velvetvexations]

I did not mean to sleep all day. Here all the non-kink asks in my inbox lol.

Does a little dance. People being weird about transmascs on here has messed up my self perception so bad im not actually sure of my own gender anymore, yayyyyy

Fuck that anon, if you're man that rules. Being a man is awesome. You don't need anyone else's opinion to affect who you are, there is no bad gender.

just saw someone acknowledge trans men are often lumped into female spaces due to bioessentialism but then turn around and say that thats proof that trans men arent oppressed. lol.

People act like being let into the Woman Club is the one and only goal of being trans and it's so fucking annoying.

Ngl I still don't understand why femboys are a "transmisogynistic caricature that can't be reclaimed by transmascs" according to some people. Do you have any insights on this because I genuinely can't understand, femboy sounds like gnc boy culture and in my own experience, maybe transfems before they come out occasionally identify as femboys. Idk is it like, someone with an outwardly feminine appearance being a guy? Because that's why I like calling myself a femboy.

Some people think femboy started as a transfem thing because they're idiots who don't know shit.

hey if catboy is ubiquitous and having nothing to do with crossdressing why did Jerma crossdress when someone drew him as a catboy???

Because catboys are allowed to do that lol. Taking one example of a crossdressing catboy to mean catboys infringe on transfem copyright is wild.

Hi thanks for letting me vent to you cause I am at work and can't properly process my emtions otherwise rn. I've been otherwise generally in a slightly emotionally fragile place and then I just got an awful review for my first actual order from a stranger on Etsy. And like I know logically that it's not the end of the world and I gave them exactly what they ordered and it's not my fault that they measured wrong or didn't take my advice and size up a little for fit etc etc but no one else will know that and I just got started selling craft stuff and it's just a hobby and it sucks that this person clearly expected something that wasn't what they paid for (my prices are low cause it's a hobby sorry I don't have super professional materials that would make my stuff cost double) but it's really fucking me up and I am trying not to like cry at work because of this and it's so stupid. This was just my first purchase online that wasn't from a friend and I was so excited and they hated it and didn't even send a message or anything about the length (that was exactly what they asked for by the way) not fitting before leaving a review. It just fucking sucks and I wish my brain didn't react to the most minor disappointments/shows of dislike with the I'm going to kill everyone in this room and then myself meme as first response Thanks for listening. It really helps to be able to vent this somewhere <3

I'm really sorry anon, that sounds so frustrating and hard to deal with. I love you so much. <3 I know you do great work and I hope it goes better next time.

Having NPD sucks, lmao, sorry for the rant ahead. I have to remind myself that the 'mark' on shinigami eyes doesn't actually mean anything, but it's hard sometimes because it's still a stain on my reputation. :( some people will see that and take it at face value, forever associating me with the filth that is transphobia, and I can't do anything about it. I appreciate the people who actually know what a transphobe is going out of their way to remove that mark, but it's a losing battle against a bunch of buffoons who think catgirls are transmisogynistic. sometimes it's really hard to pretend that it doesn't bother me at all, because it's highly insulting for me to be associated with the things I literally fight against. What an insult to my legacy and efforts to even bother to care about other people, you know? I don't HAVE to take time out of my day to do activism, I could just not bother to care at all, but I still try. I deserve praise, not this bullshit😭

I'll praise you! Thank you for fighting against transphobia. <3

All this catboy talk. Wanted to say hi as a catboy. Meow :3

Nya~!

My prediction for TRF discourse in 2025: closeted, non passing trans men shouldn't wear skirts or other traditional women's clothing (even if they don't want to and literally have no other choice) because they're MEN and men wearing women's clothes is obviously always transmisogynistic

All trans men are transmisogynistic because they grew up mocking transfems by wearing women's clothes.

some of this discourse is just so fucking wild i cant believe this is something people are taking so seriously. sipping my tea from the sidelines as a chubby catboy therian lmao

You have a cooler head than I.

iirc the "catgirls are transfem" thing started happening around the time Ferris got popular as a character because, if I'm correct, Ferris actually is transfem (coded?) and following that some people just decided The Aesthetique belonged exclusively to transfems now (also you're so so so so based for loving Schrödinger I remember first seeing him in like 2007 and wishing I looked exactly like him)

Schrodinger is my secret fifth blorbo. I'm obsessed with him. I think about him constantly. High five.

als catboys are only white passing in the way that people love to say anime characters are white lmao (aka cant conceive of the fact that anime characters are actually light skinned Japanese). not to say anime doesn't have a colorism problem but They Are Not White and its racist to say otherwise

lol yes exactly

I might be really stepping in it here, but tangential to catboy/catgirl discourse, I'm starting to get really uncomfortable with how the cutesy moe-blob yuri is treated as "trans lesbian culture" these days? as though none of it was ever straight guy fantasy shit? as though it's ideal representation instead of another vector of impossible beauty standards? idk, maybe I'm just being way too touchy. 😬

It's fine if something becomes emblematic of transfem culture but you just can't pretend something was always transfem when it blatantly wasn't lol

you got marked red on shinigami eyes and i havev no idea why

My smoke too tough, my swag too different, my bitch too bad.

juggalo here. we don't want them.

Devastating.

For what it's worth, the "cats transforming into people" thing is probably based on the bakeneko, yeah. The "bake" in "bakeneko" means "transforming", often with the implication of transforming into people (like the better known bakedanuki and bakegitsune). The popularization of cat-people in anime probably came from Neko-Musume from Gegege no Kitaro (the anime behind the "youkai boom" in modern Japanese culture), who is a half-bakeneko.

Fascinating.

(Dif anon) "leading one to wonder what transphobia they think trans men do face" 99.999% sure at this point we're at "trans men experience misgendering... maybe...?"

Well that doesn't count since everyone wants to be a girl, an idea that I believe has universal appeal because I'm a self-centered moron.

You're awesome <3

Thank you anon. <3

I didn't realize I was trans from yaoi but I did largely realize it from memes about traps and accidentally stumbling across largely transfem subreddits via a anime memes despite being transmasc so. Great amount of respect for our yaoi soldiers.

Hell yeah!

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Erm so I. Accidentally started ranting. Oopsies

I think it's silly to draw Killers soul in a constant target shape in erm found family kinda trope. Yk. When everyone gets along and is happy and they also jokingly bully Killer and excessive amount. And Killers in stage 2 through all of it. How honest is Killer truly being?

And also (going off track) why does he get bullied an excessive amount, because I see no love coming from that,, to like jokingly shit on someone, yeah, sure I understand, people do that, it can be funny, but it's just.... so much..... like. Killer can't even breathe without being shit on. Maybe saying he's getting shit on is not the best way to word it but,,,,,,, anyways Killer gets bullied so much I don't even. I can't even see it as funny anymore. He gets bullied, and no affection given, and it's even more deprivating seeing how the others who surround him, the group he's supposedly a part of, is all love and affection and they obviously share affection and all 'at

And then there's Killer. Only there to mess things up and harass everyone. He talks too much, and when getting ignored he starts talking about sensitive topics for something to come out of the other. Just something to say he's real, something to show he's somehow still a part of whatever this is. He's not treated as an outside, but he sure as hell ain't being treated as someone that matters. It shouldn't bother him though. The treatment isn't new, he's used to this, he's fine. He shouldn't be petty about not getting a lil affection

Killers literally so hated that the version of horror that's so desperate to keep everyone healthy and to not let anyone starve, literally leaves Killer to starve for a day. Sighs idk I'm just not dealing with Killer constantly getting bullied all the time,,,, it's funny every now and then but Jesus it's so excessive I can't even— anyways I have no solution for this because the best situation is to leave the ones hurting you but. Sighsssssssss

I'm just. Stopping myself here, imma go eat

No, i completely understand you, anon. I used to also be a target of excessive bullying (both in school and in my family unit), so that shit doesn’t appeal to me. It’s not funny or cute, especially when it’s done to a character whose use that type of treatment and far worse, and keeps seeing examples of what the dynamic should and could be, but for some reason he’s not allowed to experience that??

I also hate it when in Bad Sans Family dynamics they treat Killer like he’s an idiot or an annoying child, always messing things up and everyone just fucking hates him for some reason despite claiming not to??

In my mind, if Killer is excessively in Stage 2 during these types of dynamics, then his ass is just playing along. They treat him like shit despite claiming to care or be family or be friends, no different than what Chara did, there’s no way he’d allow himself to be in Stage 1 around them. He can’t trust them not to fuck him up anymore than he already is.

And Stage 1 is excessively a lot more emotionally fragile and sensitive than he is in Stage 2. Killer doesn’t need bullying and degrading comments when he’s in such a vulnerable, fragile state. That’s not a sign of love or affection for Stage 1.

A lot of people don’t seem to understand that Killer is a victim of awful, prolonged abuse and torture—he’s not just a violent stupid serial killer, he is a victim of forced perpetration. He is not going to react to these things like Horror or Murder would.

In fact, even with a Bad Sans Family, his circumstances still mirror the one he had with Chara—killing people, hurting people, doing it with people who claim to be friends or family, even all those violent bloody fights people portray Killer and Murder having is no different than what likely happened with Chara.

Stage 1 is not going to be stabbing people to show affection or licking blood off knives or doing anything that he does in Stage 2. Because that is a version of Killer that is more Sans-like, you know, a Sans that never wanted any of this. A version of Sans who is constantly filled with overwhelming fear, guilt, shame, pain, longing for his home and his brother. Who is still out there, looking for him.

It reminds me of a quote a came across, but can’t quite remember. Something about how a girl wakes up in her bed in a house, screaming and crying about how she wants to go home—but the speaker and the family is confused, because she already is home.

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

CBS Ghosts Ep 8 & 9 Live Reaction

Surprisingly not all that excited tonight.

I'm not excited because the 30 second promo told us there was yet ANOTHER possession and one of the double possessions is Nancy, who I don't care that much about.

Hopefully it'll surprise me.

***

Thor loves Christmas now.

OMG the ghosts are not helpful.

LOL "Not a thing anymore Jay"

ERIC WAS ADDED??? Why SASS??? I Don't WANT THEM TO STILL BE TOGETHER.

OMG the ghosts are not helpful already.

Pete that was gross. PLEASE STOP.

OHHH this isn't good.

That was sarcasm for the best.

Their friendly the water heater.

OMG, this can't help Sam's nervous.

Oh this isn't going to go great.

Aww Trevor is like "It's just not my thing."

Thor has taken over Sam's interest in Christmas and forcing it on people.

Uh OH. Flower/Thor...

YESSSS SASS IS A VIRGIN!!!

I LOVE IT. I CALLED IT.

I KNEW IT.

"Describe it like I'm talking to a stuart."

AND THEY"RE POSSESSED.

LOL at the clapping. "Why are we clapping? IDK it feels momentus."

Side note - We haven't met them, but I hate Jay's parents already.

LOL Good Smelling Lady.

GHOST DADDY??

Except the ghosts boundary doesn't work on Pete!

WHY WOULD YOU TELL THAT TO NANCY???

Mouth Hole???

THANK GOD NO ERIC.!!!!!!!

What????

OMG OMG OMG.

This is terrible. GOD. It's cringy.

AW JAY! <3

They're not wrong about their business. But that's rough.

NO! Trevor ... insulting Flower and Alberta and.... Hetty. ARE YOU NOT FRIENDS??? STOP IT.

OMG SASS!!! I think this is so funny! I am so happy Sass is a virgin!!

THOR! Technically, you're not living.

SET HIM UP WITH TREVOR! PLEASE.

OMG CAROL!!! Don't set him up with Carol!!! He deserves better than Carol.

LOL "Why can't I look away?"

TP??? SAMS NOT HOME WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEAVE A MESSAGE! Nancy is chaotic.

AW Champa is going to try. And Nancy is going to be difficult.

Why aren't the other ghosts interested in this???

I do enjoy Alberta/Isaac teaming up though.

Oh! Hetty defending Sam! Just a rental?

OH Nancy is bounding with Champa!

This is fun.

OMG She thinks Sam's uptight???

Champa prefers the Basement Gremlin!

It's your Christmas Carol. OMG OMG OMG. NOOOOO!!!

Carol is saying No??? "I don't think you can handle this"

FLOWER YOU"RE NOT HELPING.

No, friends can have secrets. Aw, Poor Sass. :(

OOOOH NOOOO this is not going to be good.

"One of my favorite Wednesdays!" -> so they're definitely in Christmas 2024. Which corresponds with each season being a year.

OHHHHH NO OH NOOOO.

Nancy just walks away. This is so not good. Kinda of hate the ghosts just being chill about this.

Sam was making progress!!

ThIS IS THE SAME EXERCISOM???

Trevor's face at Isaac.

LOL "I've been dead for 130 years, I will repeat myself."

OOOOHhhh Did they just make Jay expelled. "Seriously???"

Creepy Todd that's what you're leading with???

OMG Trevor.

LOL BELA!! Are there any left???

Jay's going to understand being the ghosts.

Jay is LESS PURE??? OMG.

LOL Those solid door!

AW BELA Still Likes Trevor - LOVE IT.

PETE! YOU"RE RUINING THE PLAN. OMG.

Flower OMG.

Small man now Small ghosts.

OMG them and the bathroom.

Sass has a right to be so mad, but then again, Sass, buddy, you out people's secrets like they're nothing.

LOL "It's been a day."

Love Bela being like "Where is this going, dad?"

I do enjoy Bela helping.

Laura is moving to Australia.

OMG Pete! I feel for you, but don't do this!

Oh Champa.

Ohhh, I think we might figure out how they're going to fix this - if he's gone for a certain amount of time he'll disappear... so then Jay can take over. Yeah???

LOL "That DOOR THING IS COOL AS HELL."

They're freaking Jay out so bad.

"I can hear you now." LOL.

LOL 98% of what we do is spying.

OMG he's the best cook and not encourage it???

LOL I think Sam stole my car.

I do love them explaining why Pete did this.

HEY NO PANTS - STOP IT YOU"RE ASKING HIM FOR HELP.

Awwww. Jay letting him doing this!

"BOTH OF HER PARENTS MET THEIR DEMISE."

Sounds like a good system.

Bummer of a secret???

OHHHHHHH SASS AND THOR MEETING. CUTE!!! 1513 confirmed death of Sass and he was just out alone in the forest?

Awww, Sass.

Flower offering a threesome. She doesn't get it.

Is that a different Laura??? And a different little Pete???

Awww Sweet Moment. This is a little weird. But Sweet, I guess.

OMG OMG OMG Pete LEFT JAY's body.

ZOMBIE JAY!!!!

I still feel like Trevor should be apart of the Sass Virgin Plot. But he's just kind of floating around not really apart of any plot.

There's still 8 minutes left....

LOL "The Power of Love."

They stopped for Fries from Sonic.

LOL Hetty wanting him to stuff his pockets with Coke???

That was great. "I hate Zombies."

LOL "Did Flower put you up to this?"

AWwwww Thor. That's so sweet. <3

This is a sweet moment. <3

Where is Bela's Car - a rest stop. LOL.

Awwww they named it after his dad!!

I think Champa's coming around. "We need to get to Nancy in that."

YAY!! Finally!!

"Yes, but be cool." OMG.

The fact that it's taken her like at least 6 years for this is sad though. And Doesn't make me like Jay's parents all that much.

I really wish they had just mentioned the ghosts - also Jay doesn't get to keep seeing the ghosts, he just gets to see them once.

Awww, a Pete moment - LOL looking at his dick - "yup that's my cue to leave."

I liked it but there were some slight changes. Certainly got some fic ideas.

[freakroth]

Young Love [Chapter 2]

I forgot to add TW's on the last chapter but i don't think it needs any

TW: Smut, my horibble writen smut, alcohol??, idk tell me if i need to add more ig

You can read all the chapters i've made so far on my wattpad

https://www.wattpad.com/1378942229-young-love-chuuya-x-reader-x-dazai-chapter-2

______________________________________________________________

Y/N's POV:

After a few hours i finish unpacking my stuff and check the clock on my phone. "its only 16:34?" i say to myself 'might as well go buy myself some food since i don't wanna eat chuuya's or dazai's food' 

When i walk out of my room is see chuuya and dazai have changed their outfits 'are they going on a date or something?' "where are you two going?" i ask them.

"Oh! Hey Y/N, me and Chuuya are going on a date so we will be gone for a few hour!" Dazai says happily. "oh nice, i was just about to go get some food for myself" i say and start to put on my shoes. 

For some reason when i bend down i feel like someone is watching me from behind but i don't think much of it.

A few hours later

I'm just laying in my bed and listening to music while pretending to be in edits and also singing along to some songs.

When ever my favorite songs come on i start dancing or just walking around in my room. "Bernadette, You are my liberty. I celebrate the day, That you changed my history. Oh, life and death. Will always lead you into love and regret. But you have answers, And I have the key For the door to Bernadette~" i sing praying to god that Chuuya and Dazai aren't home yet, because 1, that would be embarrassing and 2, i don't have the prettiest singing voice in the world.

After the song ends i lay back down in my bed waiting for the next song to come on, but realize that my headphone are dead "aw man.." i say and start looking for the changer to the headphones.

Dazai POV: (3rd person)

Dazai and Chuuya are sitting at a bar drinking. (its around 23:00pm btw) 

"Chuuya~ you really shouldn't be drinking this much~ you know you can handle your liquor~" Dazai teases him. "Shut up! i can handle my alcohol very well!"  Chuuya says and chugs down a glass of wine. "oh lord" Dazai says and sees that hes starting to get drunk. 

Suddenly Chuuya gets up and goes over to the karaoke area of the bar, picks up the microphone and starts singing his heart out.

Dazai is giggling and recording the whole thing for later blackmail.

After a while everyone starts leaving because the bar is closing. "Chuuya, baby its time to get you home" Dazai says and picks up the drunk Chuuya.

Y/N's POV:

When i walk back into my room after getting myself some water from the sink i hear Rasputin playing and a young man yelling "COME ON FYODOR, YOU CAN DO IT!!" from the dorm next mine. 'i guess someone's having fun' i think and chuckle to myself. 

I put my glass of water on my bedside table and sit down on my bed and look out the window.

(this what the room looks like with a bigger window and more room + some of you're own thing)

While looking out at the dark street, i see Dazai and Chuuya walking back, or more like Dazai is carrying Chuuya on his shoulders. "he's probably drunk or something" i say to myself.

I put on my headphones and start watching something on my computer.

after sometime i go to the kitchen to get water but stop as my jaw drops 'WHAT. THE. FUCK!?' i think as i see Dazai and Chuuya making out in the kitchen. I almost drop my glass "okay i think its time for me to go to bed, i can't deal with this anymore" i say as i walk back to my room, praying they didn't notice me.

As i walk into my room i turn of the lights and start taking of my clothes, going to bed in only my bra and panties. 

As i try to sleep i hear Dazai and Chuuya going into their bedroom to probably have sex or something, i feel myself start to get pretty horny from just listening to them. 

I just lay there listening to them. I feel myself get flustered hearing what i believe is Dazai's cute moans and whimpers as Chuuya fucks him.

Dazai POV:  

"AH~ hm~ chuuya!~" i moan like a slut as is Chuuya fucks me from behind, and choking me. "fuck, such a slutty boy you are~" Chuuya says in my ear as i cry from the pleasure. 

"please~ i'm a good boy!~ please be gentle~" i plead as the pleasure becomes to much to bare "please let me cum..!~ i'm so close chuuya~" i cry into my pillow.

"No~ not yet, little slut~" Chuuya's thrusts get much faster and rougher, and it's hard for me to not cum right then and there. "p-please!~ Chuuya..!~" i cry and feel his teeth bite my neck.

"cum." Chuuya says in a commanding voice and i cum all over the bed. " good boy~" Chuuya says and kisses my forehead. "you did so well little slut~" he whispers "but its not over yet~" 

Y/N's POV:  

After what feels like forever they finally stop whatever they were doing. I check my phone and see its 5:23 am. "four hours!? damn they are like bunnies in heat.." i say as i try to sleep again.

Next morning: (Y/N POV) 

The next morning i come out of my room looking like shit. when i walk into the kitchen i see Dazai hugging Chuuya from behind while he cooks.

"Next time try to not wake up the whole campus with all of your noises" i say to them in a pissed voice while i make myself some coffee. They both turn to look at me in surprise. "what..?" Chuuya says while nervelessly laughing. "if you're gonna have sex don't be so fucking loud" i walk back to my room while they just look at me in shock, they both must have forgot i was in the apartment and didn't think to try to be quiet. 

After drinking my coffee i start to put on my clothes. 

'looks nice' i smile while looking at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a white dress shirt, a black jean skirt that goes to my ankles with a slit at the bottom reveling my legs(it can be pants to if you want) a  black west with white stripes and black leggings with small heart on them.

When i walk out of my room i see Dazai and Chuuya eating breakfast, 'that looks kinda good' i think to myself as i put my shoes on.

"aren't you gonna eat something before you leave?" i flinch as i hear Dazai talk to me. "a-ah, no i don't eat breakfast, it makes me want to throw up" Dazai looks at me "okay.." he says as i walk out of the dorm. 'phew' i think as i walk down the hall.

"COME ON FYODOR! CAN WE PLEASE GET ANOTHER RAT?! RATATOUILLE NEEDS A FRIEND!" I hear the same young man from last night yell again. 'isn't that the one who yelled "you can do this fyodor!!" last night?' i think. 

When i turn a corner i see a tall man with white long hair in a pig tail and a scar on one of his eyes, a man with pale skin and black hair to his shoulders and a man with a Christmas tree looking hairstyle and his hair being half white, half purple. 'What the actual fuck is that hairstyle' i think as i look at the poor man. 

All three of them notice that i'm looking at them and the white haired speaks "Oh, hey! you must be new here!" he says and runs up to me "uh.. yeah i am.." i say. "i'm Nikolai, Nikolai gogol!" the white haired man says. "this here is Fyodor, my dear friend!" he says and points at the black haired man. 'the way he said dear seems like they are more then friends' 

"and this one here is Sigma!" Nikolai points at the white and purple haired man. 'there's no fucking way is his name Sigma'. "uh.. i'm Y/N" i say. "hello Y/N, its nice to meet you" Fyodor says in a thick Russian accent and shakes my hand with his cold one. "its nice to meet you too" i smile "i think i heard you guys last night, you guys were playing Rasputin" i laugh.

"OH! yeah we were playing just dance!" Nikolai says happily. I look at Sigma who looks a bit nervous. "uhh.. sorry if we bothered you last night.!" he says. 'poor man' i think 'he probably lost a bet to that Nikolai guy and had to get that haircut'. 

"Oh, no i didn't bother me at all, it made me happy to know someone was having fun" i smile at him. "oh.. okay" he smiles back.

Nikolai goes back to begging Fyodor to get another rat and i walk up to Sigma. "Y/N" i reach out my hand for him to shake "Sigma" he says while shaking my hand. "not to be rude or anything, but is Sigma your real name? isn't it a Greek letter?" i ask "..its not actually my real name.. i have amnesia and forgot my real name.. so i just use that.." he says while scratching the back of his head. "oh i'm so sorry! that must have sounded rude!" i say while panicking a bit "no! its okay! really, a lot of people ask me that, so i don't find it rude anymore" he says trying to reassure me.

'phew' i think. "uhh.. do you want to be friends or something..? i don't really have any friends at the moment.." i ask him "sure" he smiles at me.''

"so.. how long have you been friends with Nikolai and Fyodor?" i ask "about 3 years" he says. i smile at him. "oh, can i have your phone number? you don't have to if you don't want to!" he says "yeah, here its xxxxxxxx" i smile at him. "thanks mine is xxxxxxxx" he says.

"ooo~ is Sigma getting himself a partner?~ its about time~" Nikolai teases him. "WHAT!? NO! WE ARE JUST FRIENDS!" Sigma starts blushing and he feels embarrassed. "Sure~" Nikolai teases him more. "uhh.." i feel a bit uncomfortable, since i'm not really looking to be in a relationship. All of the past relationships i've been have quite toxic or abusive, so i don't really trust anyone anymore. 

"Are you okay Y/N..? you look a bit uncomfortable.. did what Nikolai say make you uncomfortable..?" Sigma asks me "huh? oh, no! not at all! its just that its weird for me to be teased! thats all!" i lie. 

"oh okay.." Sigma says and we start walking somewhere. "so do you want to go somewhere today to get to know each other better?" Sigma asks "sure" i smile.

(i hope yall liked this chapter👉👈 i didn't really have any ideas for this chapter lol. also please give me some ideas for the next chapter, idk what to write in it)

[todayisafridaynight]

#ANYWAY LET ME COOK. im not a good chef but i can at least cook an egg lemme see what i got...

This is leagues ahead of Jo as per Substitute Father so I'm sure you'll do great <3 NOT TO SET THE BAR LOW... Arakawa POV part of that was sooooooo cute but I am of course VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD regardless of what you've got in the oven :] I think it's funny we always end up with roughly the same concepts but I just shoehorn RGGJo into it instead

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN THOUGH WITH HOW THE MARKETING FOR YLAD KEPT HAMMERING IN THE SON THING ONE WAY OR ANOTHER... BUT THE SCENE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT IS FUNNY and honestly half of the things Westerners [<- counting myself just this once] find funny in RGG apparently aren't intentional so what's one more

Substitute Father haunts me since i really don't like it but i also know that One (1) person really enjoyed it so i don't want to delete it SOOO the most i can do at this point is try to write something better as an apology and try to forget.. and hopefully let arakawa FPOV in a better fic..

BUT YEAH LMAO they really werent subtle bout it in retrospect.... teehee..