#aw hell I gotta draw more art of them

[sidddrawss]

“Gilgamesh was called a god and a man; Enkidu was an animal and a man. It is the story of their becoming human together.” - The Epic of Gilgamesh, Anonymous

[leighsartworks216]

How the LADS men would react to some of my favorite games

All x Reader (separately, and it's not the main focus)

Picking out games for them all was kinda difficult, bc I have so many favorites and I wasn't sure what they'd react to or how they'd react. But I'm pretty happy with these

Based on this post

Warnings: crackfic (kinda?), one horror game, slight angst with Zayne, swearing

Word Count: 1,123 (oh hell yeah)

Main Masterlist

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form (Psst fill this out to be tagged in future fics! - Updated to include Xavier)

Xavier:

I think Xavier would love The Outer Worlds

I mean,, it’s a game that takes place entirely in another solar system where you crash land in an escape pod on a strange planet and gotta figure out how people here work without letting them know you’re “not from here”

They literally call the player “The Stranger”

I think he’d love looking up at the sky in game

Every one of the sky boxes is gorgeous but Emerald Vale especially

I think he’d find a safe area in game and put it on just to stare up at the sky (and fall asleep too)

Tries to choose the best outcome for every situation

Which means fucking over the government and not feeling an ounce of guilt for it

But fucking over the underdogs even for a minute feels awful

Has to ask you which choice is better or how to get the best outcome

Scarily good at fighting with melee weapons

Esp considering the heavy reliance on guns

Accidentally min-maxes the characters

He’d also love Coffee Talk

The music is so calming he usually ends up falling asleep to it

Spends a lot of time and consideration into every drink

Draws a little bunny in the lattes every single time

Probably accidentally clocks the plot twist of the game on the very first run

Tries making you the drinks irl and uhhhh he shouldn’t

-

Zayne:

Of the games I’ve played, I think The Silent Age would be very interesting for him

Helps solve the puzzles (even if you’ve played it before)

Says he finds the art style to be “charming”

Sits through every piece of dialogue no matter how long and doesn’t go forward until he comprehends it

Gets so concerned when Joe starts coughing

Generally doesn’t like seeing the bodies

It makes him unsettled and has him thinking about those he’s lost to such gruesome deaths

The twist at the end absolutely fascinates him so much

And the SECOND twist pulls him out of it

Was lowkey hoping it would be something more… fantastical

But does have to admit that horror in the now-mundane is interesting too

I also would LOVE to watch him play Ace Attorney

Could you IMAGINE???

“This is illegal.” “I know, but so is murder.” “They don’t cancel out, you know.”

“If somebody on the witness stand is overreacting that much to one small detail, I think the judge should be a little more concerned about it.”

He’d kinda love Miles Edgeworth ngl

Understands exactly what he means with the entire “unnecessary feelings” business

Wishes the autopsy reports were more in depth, for his own amusement

Accidentally says “objection” when you’re trying to lie to him about not taking care of yourself

Can’t live it down for the next week, at LEAST

-

Sylus:

Little Nightmares, straight up

He finds the concept absolutely fascinating

Doesn’t play, but enjoys watching you play

“Careful, kitten. His long arms almost grabbed you.” “YES, THANK YOU, I NOTICED.”

Loves to see you so panicked and freaked out

Laughs if something small makes you jump out of your skin

But he does try to comfort you after chase sequences when it feels like you’re having a heart attack

Pulls you into his lap and promises to protect you

Will not complain if you choose to stay there for the rest of the game

Helps you solve puzzles if you’re struggling with them for too long

But he always asks to know if you want the answer

He doesn’t need you pouting and upset just because you couldn’t figure out how to do something relatively simple

Warns the twins not to scare you for a while

For their own safety tbh

You have a gun and you WILL use it

He’d also like watching you play Animal Crossing

You can and will bully him into joining

Will catch the scary or difficult bugs for you if you’re struggling

Doesn’t need to look up any guides to find the real artworks

The very second he can get his hands on the cat cap, it’s going to you

Might ask what color you want, but he’s more likely to pick it for you so its a surprise

Wraps it up too

“Sweetie, I got you a gift.” “Awe, really?.... Really, Sylus?” “Put it on, kitten.”

Luke and Kieran have their own town

It’s extremely flushed out and scary how impressive it is

Runs turnips with them so you have nearly a billion Bells to spend on anything you want

He lets you design his house, even if you make it silly

-

Rafayel:

Tell me why my first thought was Pokemon Art Academy

He would love it tho

Sitting on the couch together, watching over your shoulder as you follow the tutorials to draw the Pokemon

They turn out like shit but he claims to love them

Passing it over to him is a bad idea, but he won’t stop whining until you do

Creates an entire masterpiece

That creature is in a damn candid shot, shaded and everything

You should have known it was a terrible idea to show him the game

When he doesn’t feel like painting or just needs a break for his mind, he’ll play it

Honestly I see him at one of his own exhibitions, standing in the corner and playing it

Thomas complains to you about it all the time

Rafayel texts you about how much the Pokemon miss you and want you to come over :’(((

Beats the game

Somehow

Not just the lessons either, literally every single drawing they give you to do, he does it

When you look at the gallery, you can see when you stopped playing and when he took over

He’d also love Little Inferno

Sings the jingle all the time until you’re threatening him to shut up

Doesn’t honestly understand the appeal at first

He can literally make and control fire, why can’t you just give him some stuff to burn and he’ll do it for you

But he slowly gets the appeal

Especially when the batteries explode

Hates the pooping cat plushie with a passion

“If that thing ever shows up in a claw machine, we are NOT getting it.”

He either fully completes the game, combos and all, or he gets to the second catalog and gets bored, no in between

Will happily watch you play tho

Loves the way you focus on trying to decipher the clues for the combos

No shame, WILL be looking up the combinations and WILL spoil them for you just to bug you

May plan a date around throwing shit into a fireplace and watching it burn in real life

There’s a fire extinguisher nearby, just in case

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @sylusfluffymeow @cheesemachine44

[meanbossart]

Misc. Ask compilation

These aren't all of the asks I want to reply to, just some that I can answer relatively quickly to clean the ol' inbox out before things get out of hand. Thanks for your patience!

HAHAHA THANK YOU FOR PERUSING AROUND and for enjoying my work! I had a... Weird Gale experience my first playthrough which led to his characterization being what it is in my comics. Here's the beat-by-beat of all the shenanigans: https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/740827466716807168/alright-i-am-like-90-sure-there-is-one-line-in-a

And here's just some of my personal thoughts on him! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/736193145686114305/can-you-tell-me-more-about-how-you-would-make-gale

I would be lying if I said I'm not conflicted to know my style still bears some remnants of my edgy teen roots (not your fault not noticing it though, you aren't the first and won't be the last) BUT... That comic did mean a lot to me as a youth, so I guess I should be proud 🤷 and honestly it is a little cool that such a thing would survive for so long in what I do, crazy how that works.

LMAO, re: the bottom/top debacle, I was honestly so surprised to see people react to it like it's something novel. If I ever expected to get any push back on the matter, I thought it would be from people assuming DU drow was the top and taking issue with how violent and big he is (and yknow, some people are weirdly protective of Astarion as if he isn't a sneaky murder machine rippling with lean muscle)

Very disheartening to see that mindset still so alive and well among young people, but I guess it just means I gotta draw DU drow throwing more back and Astarion drooling over more ass until the stereotype is forcefully banished out of people's minds!

(more asks below the cut)

"Sleeper agent activation phrase" absolutely took me out, Thank you so much LOL

YEAH I got it pretty late though, Astarion had already told my durge that he was a vampire of his own accord (and the response was, of course, "no duh") I forgot wheter this happened before or after the first romance scene triggered, but I think after.

Since this was after DU drow decided he was gonna fuck him out of pure contrarian spite and was shamelessly laying it extremely thick, He happilly let Astarion drink his blood. Hell, he was probably a little Too Eager - the guy likes pain and he likes letting people he trusts do with his body whatever they will, and while he didn't yet trust Astarion at that point, that event might've very well reminded him of something from his past that planted a seed which would eventually grow into his genuine affection for the guy.

Ah, he definitely got a half-chub as it happened too. I'm sure Astarion noticed it and just walked off rolling his eyes and thinking "eugh of course" lmao.

Hello!!!

Oh man, I grew up fascinated with horror things. I remember from a very young age just looking at the covers and backs of horror movies at the film-rental even though I wasn't allowed to watch them. I was also easily scared but I sought those things out anyway - I think i just enjoyed the visceral reactions it drew out of me and was always curious about most things taboo.

When I got access to the internet that just opened a (very unfortunate) door to all things vile and awful like it did for so many people at that age in time. Though my tastes have changed a lot since then (Less August Underground, more The Devils kind of guy nowadays) my stories and art are just always going to fall into a horror-y category because I just... Don't think there's many better ways to showcase the human experience and emotional range without many of the elements native to the genre, and I'm all about that.

Thank you for your question and your sweet words, have a good week yourself!

I did a little write-up about that over here! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/742508493562593280/i-dont-have-a-particular-question-in-mind-sorry

That's the result of a scene that happens relatively early in the story I'm writing ("A Novel Experience" on Ao3).

{SPOILERS} DU drow accidentally passes out on a blade which puts a relatively deep gash on his hip. Meanwhile, Astarion is weakened and starved after certain events that transpired the prior night. They have a private exchange both in a somewhat hazy-state of mind and Astarion ends up prodding and prying at his wound while feeding, so it's a laceration and bite mark that just scarred over badly.

Elves apparently don't grow body hair so never LOL guess they'll just have to slip&slide up on each other for heat

[wilsons-hotlittleprettyboymouth]

please mysterious internet person, HOW?? DO YOU PROGRESS FROM ACQUAINTANCES TO FRIENDS??? i’m perpetually stuck in acquaintance purgatory and it’s hell and i would really appreciate a little of advice ; w ;

Okay I’m going to try to explain this as best I can with this migraine lol, bear in mind that I’m disabled and no longer get out much but this has worked with various demographics from normie boomers in dive bars to people younger than me on university campus.

Don’t start off too strong. Get a gauge of someone’s communication style before you really dive in.

If they seem shy, engage them by purposefully including them in the conversation. But make sure it’s a give and take, if you just ask them a bunch of questions with no natural pauses, it’ll come off as intense and offputting.

If you get a sense of neurodivergence from them, they may bond by trauma dumping. You could make a lighthearted joke that sort of implies the things you usually assume people don’t want to hear and gauge their reaction to that. Like, some people will make a little joke about their parents sucking, or about their focus deficit with ADHD, and in the right situations the other person just totally opens up. It’s good to know what kind of conversations you can feel comfortable having with someone, but if they don’t respond well, back off and switch gears.

If they seen like the kind of person who’s sort of disinterested in making friends, or seems generally insincere or like someone you can’t relate to, you don’t have to put pressure on yourself to be friends just to have friends. “Beggars can’t be choosers” isn’t a real thing, if your personality doesn’t match up with someone else’s, don’t force it.

Relate the things they tell you to your own life if they’re positive or interesting, but relate them in a way that conveys your interest in what they just said. Like you’re amazed or happy for them! Uplift their accomplishments, even if they act like it’s not worth it, and use specific details to express why you think it’s great.

(Example: if someone made some accomplishment with their art, “I can’t even draw a stick figure” is a generic cop out, while “That’s so awesome! I’ve tried [xyz art form] before and there’s so much more to it than people think. You must’ve put in a LOT of work for this.” is more specific and conveys that you understand just why this is great.)

If they tell you something negative or upsetting, convey that you understand how awful that is to a degree. Do not say you know exactly what it’s like or just give a separate example of something horrible happening to you. Use specific examples of a piece of why what they said is awful, and convey it in a way that, once again, implies amazement at what this person is going through. Maybe even outrage on their behalf if they’ve been wronged or are angry at what happened.

(Example: if someone had to put their pet down, don’t go on a tangent about how a vet’s negligence once killed your dog. It’s more comforting and intimate to hear “I have a little dog who’s my world and I just can’t imagine. I know it’s gotta happen someday but I can’t even bring myself to think about it, yknow? I just try to give her the best life she can have while she’s here. I guess that’s the best any of us can do.” Most of the time people will end up showing you pics after this.)

Always be excited to see the person. Charm is a delicate balance of mimicry and sincerity, of intimacy and space. You can be happy to see them without commandeering their time, you can agree with parts of nearly anything they say without talking out of your ass.

Ultimately, people like to feel seen. If you work on your compassion to find some part of what they’re telling you that you can understand and sympathize with, then reaffirm that they have good reason to feel that way, they will feel supported, and you will actually like them more.

You will need to be brave and confident about your support. If you aren’t brave you’ll just sound insincere and people don’t connect with people who won’t try to connect with them. Or people who won’t even confidently say who they are. And I don’t blame them, if someone won’t even trust me enough to tell me anything about themselves, who am I even making friends with? And while I tend to be more understanding of the anxiety that leads people to be insecure and insincere, most people aren’t. In that case, you may literally be the only thing stopping yourself from making friends. People can’t like you if they don’t even get a chance.

So all in all, the main things you need to make friends are compassion, a willingness to see and understand others’, the skill of making other people feel important, and the bravery to actually show you have a defined personality. That’s really the bulk of it!

Sorry to have typed a whole essay on this lol but if anyone else has anything to add about this topic please do! This myth that being friends and socializing is so so so so hard and confusing has GOT to go. We are learning and growing here babes.

[wench-and-jezebel]

NCIS Reaction: Marine Down

Wench (@scripted-downfall) reacts [with (maybe) occasional asides by Jezebel (@typicalopposite)]: a transcript from a voice call

[Is always a dead person.  Like, it’s never an inside job, never stealing, nothing.  Just death]

Well, this is new… we don’t usually start out with a wake

[It’s Jim!]  Well, that was weird  [He’s not dead]  Also, we also don’t usually start out with the person being not-dead… Also, so much for “always a dead person,” I guess

Tonyyy

Always confuses me why they have lab techs have gun training

[Is McGee here!?! 💕]

I mean, the cutout losing an ear isn't the end of the world… At least she's alive and not killed by the hostage-taker!  [Noooo M3GAN ptsd!]  We have to react to thattttt

[Damn not the phone going on the target]  Love that Kate cared about her PDA but Tony cared more about the hat alskjdf  [He’d have took my phone and I would have quit]  We would both pass away if your phone died

I do appreciate the threat to the boat, though it’d be kinda sad to lose it :(

He gave Abby the hat!  [Abbbyyyyy]

"Computers can sense fear"  [I love Abby]

Gunpowder perfume seems awesome

Tony has Post-It notes everywhere… Even on his lamp

Wait, surely McGee's gotta come in: Abby's got a new perfume (huh… that was half-joke but I wonder if they're still a "thing")

It's Jim's ghost and you're watching Supernatural  [Sam and Dean are gonna show up]  Bringing back the long-forgotten the priest outfits

That was a very unsympathetic "You have our sympathies,” Kate

Sealed caskets?  That's suspicious… Suspicious circs

Poor Tony, results redacted

[Poor Tony still looking sadly at the hat]  Noooooo

Tony's (listed in the system as) DEAD?!?!?!  I told you it was an SPN episode!  [☠️☠️☠️]

Wait, was the PDA shot?

[“Not everything is a conspiracy”  But it is Kate]

Why is Gibbs always making them move with absolutely no warning

THE PDA WAS SHOT  [Poor phone ☠️☠️☠️]

And at least Tony got a new hat :)

"We can’t release how they died because of the way they died"  WELL HOW'D THEY DIE THEN?!?!

Body language isn't thattttt accurate

[Quantico!  Criminal Minds crossover!] alksdjf

What is it with higher-ups always interrupting their employees?  Grissom in CSI does it too

What were those significant looks about???  (Serious question; that was not a very awe-inspiring reveal)

The layers of deception here though

I do appreciate that Gibbs and Tony tend to play off each other in terms of banter.  I mean, they clearly know each other's interrogative strategies

[Why are they talking “secretive” stuff just… in the middle of the office]

Also, I thought Gibbs had clearance for the documents???  That was a whole conversation topic?

Abby's love language seems to be caffeine-drink reception  [CafPow]  Ducky gave her one during the MMORPG one

Kate and Tony are leaving together; gonna go burn Gibbs’ boat now

That was abrupt, Kate

Imagine being good at art  [Shut up you are!]  Uh-uh  [Uh huh]

*artist jealousy intensifying*

[Tony is such a childdd!  Like, in a Dean way]

The drawings though alksjfd [Uh oh, she’s got Gibbs drawn like one of her French girls]

I hate the whole "I need x time" "nah, take y (less than x) time” trope

Snow is pretty  [Something we never get]  Noooo

Creepy photography  [He looks.. right at the camera… But doesn’t see the camera]

I like her turtleneck

Does Abby have a clown on her shirt?  [Probably]

Such a coherent message  [Yep total confirmation of him being alive]

"Hizzouse" was kinda obvious though, especially given context

Dude, the distortion though

Why do they even bother with the "I thought x, but was wrong" section of the debriefing?  [☠️☠️☠️]  They do it in every lab show

“We’ve got a dead man calling”  I'm surprised that wasn't the title…  What the hell does Marine Down even mean?

Why would you screw shut a coffin?  Unless you're in Supernatural.  Or the X Files.  [Very true]

"Calls from grave" was a Supernatural episode summary, I remember it

Poor Ducky has not been in this episode  [Well they never had a body]  I miss him :(

I love the mini drill

[BUM BUM BUM]  This.  This is an SPN/X Files episode

– – –

Wench: I'm.  Highly confused.  It feels like they keep saying something  and then backtracking.  And then going forward again.  And then backtracking.  It’s like the circles thing, but a plot point not just a line/speech

Jezebel: Yeah!  And, honestly, I can’t even remember this episode past the beginning when he calls her. So this all feels new to me too!

Wench: But for real, we haven’t actually had a plot because they just... "he dead" "he not dead" "he calling" "he not calling" "gibbs has access" "gibbs does not have access" "he dead" "oh wait he not dead" "he not calling" "oh wait he calling" "oh wait he dead"

Jezebel: Yeah it’s just dead guy called wife.  And it’s mysterious.

Wench: Because to the extent that there is a plot, it just kinda.. ouroboros's in on itself?  I don't know if I'm just missing stuff or if they're being unclear but what???  Like, they just said he looked alive?

Jezebel: I think they are confused

Wench: I will say... have you seen The Mummy?  Because this makes me think of a scene where they open a sarcophagus and the contents are still decomposing and the line is literally: “Why does he look so… juicy?” in this really memorable exchange… (We better react to that or else)  That is what's going through my head… EXCEPT THEY HAVEN'T SAID WHETHER HE'S DEAD

Jezebel: MYSTERIOUS

Wench: I will say that I haven't been especially annoyed by the characters.  Gibbs hasn't been his usual bitchy self

Jezebel: This is the Gibbs the writers intended him to be

Wench: Kate's been decent too, and I appreciated her interactions with Tony.  It kinda feels like they've that sibling energy they were talking about in the other episode, where they're bickering, but not nastily?

Jezebel: Yeah

Wench: Anyway, it kinda feels like the Dark Angels we've been watching where... nothing... happened.  

Jezebel: Right.  And they just kinda waffle back and forth, especially since they’re acting like something bad happened, but he looks all peaceful?  So it’s like… It looks like he's dead and has been dead, in the position of being dead, and not like he was just up and around and calling his wife.  So unless he decided to just go ahead and die, hands clasped over stomach, all we know is that something bad happened, except what if it didn’t

Wench: Right.  And we still don’t know, is it bad in the context of his work or not?

Jezebel: Yeah

Wench: All I’m saying is, this be a Max POV episode

– – –

“We screwed that up”  Screwed what up?  What exactly could have gone differently?????

[Why does the guy whose picture is on the wall under bin Laden’s look like Michael Myers?]

"Unless your calling plan include an afterlife" SPN-coded

"Married four times"  Has Gibbs really?  Dang, boi!

[Look at Tony fangirling over gibbs]

Why do they keep talking in jargonnnnn

DUCKYYYYYY  [Well… now he’s got a body]

Has he been embalmed or just consumed formaldehyde?

I told you Tony was a closet nerd!!!  WHAT DID I SAY?!!?!?

Tony, stop ogling the dead dude [☠️☠️☠️☠️]  Ya necrophiliac

I appreciate the recognition of the limits of autopsies and time-of-death estimations

The chuckle though

[This still doesn’t explain… HOW HE called the wifeeee]

THEY SAID THE DUDES WERE POISONED WITH FORMALDEHYDE; WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS????  [Because they have forgotten they said that]  alksdjflaksdfj

Gibbs and his time pressures  [Right?!]

Once again, the only appropriate explanation seems to be supernatural… (lower-case this time)  [Isssa ghost]

What's with the random map in the background?  [I think it’s just always running]  What a waste of energy!

AGAIN WITH THE TIME PRESSURES  [Gibbs: Chop chop]

OH NO THE PAPERWORK MIX-UP HAS A PURPOSE [Bum bum bummmmm is not Tony!]

Chickadee, you were not subtle about that turn though

[Blech]

Poor Ducky  [Just wait til you meet Jimmy]  Is that a good “wait” or a bad one?  [He’s basically bby ducky]  OH LOVELY  [Glasses and all]

Ducky, ya good?  That was a very abrupt motion  [The cringe tho]  BUDDY WHAT'S THE MATTER?!?!?  [Oh shit he was shaking]

"I think he knew something was up" NO SHIT YOU WEREN'T SUBTLE  [🤣🤣🤣]

Poor Tony, identity theft once again

Speaking of not subtle, this dude-

[I swear Tony always gets the short end of the stick]

WHERE DID THE GUN COME FROM?!? WHY IS THERE JUST RANDOM GUNFIRE?!?… Is this gonna be terrorists again!?!?

[Gibbs talking to himself now]

Woman, slow down with the numbers alskdfj

Um.  Tony.  Calmeth downeth the flirtingeth  [“But I look good”]

Tony being very concerned about Gibbs right there… very sweet  [He be like: boss you ok? 🥺🥺💕]

“How many agencies do you know that drive economy-class armoured cars?”  I'd wager most of them actually

Tony and Gibbs have Connections  [The way he looks at Kate like how can you NOT tell?]

"I have to get better at reading men"  Bitch, you can't read people because you're not empathetic.. it's not a sex/gender thing; it’s a you thing

DUCKY STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF; THANK YOU

Gibbs did not help

Oh come on not the dumb!Tony trope again [Ooooof]

ONCE AGAIN IF THIS IS NOT ABOUT HIM DRINKING THE FORMALDEHYDE I’MA LOSE IT

Can you read the newspaper you just pulled from the dude’s body?  [The newspaper in his neck made my eye twitch!]

TONY DOING THE TRANSLATION YESSSSS SMART TONY TRUTHERS ARE WINNING THIS EPISODEEEEE

aksdjflkasjf 

Can we get some straight answers one of these days?  Please?  [So much is happening but so little is happening, and it’s confusing]

Tony recognizing Gibbs is pissed and thus dialling up his own anger… Love it  [I got you bab- I mean boss]

I love her glovesssss

THEY ARE DIGGING UP A GRAVE IN A CEMETERY AT NIGHT.  ONCE AGAIN: THIS IS A SUPERNATURAL EPISODE!!!

Where's the salt?

"It's not like we couldn't do this during daylight"  *haunted Supernatural expression cast vaguely in Tony’s direction*  Bitch, you don't know the struggle

"You afraid of ghosts?"  How many times do I have to say it?  SUPERNATURAL

[He keeps looking at Kate like, “see he’s so upset”]

Oop-, Tony knowing how to use the technology is awesome

That was a very abrupt scene change

Kate, this is why they invented coffee!  [Kate needs a Caf-Pow]  Weaklings.  Imagine needing sleep!

ONCE AGAIN.  I’M BEGGING Y’ALL TO REMEMBER THE POISONINGS

[Long pause��. “Poison”]  lksadfjlsakdfjaldskfj WHAT IS WITH THE LONG PAUSES IN GENERAL THOUGH?  [Old people]  alksdjfaksldjf  [Gotta be dramatic]

Dude made off with the ransom money?  Rude

This conversation is so dramtically-paused for why

Dude, they're not backing off just because you say to.  That never works.  Ever.

SEE?!!?!?

[Ack]  Unsafe flying conditions right there

Poor Kate

TONY STILL HARPING ON THE JETSSSS; I’m loving it

"Sure"  That’s very convincing, Tony, bud

[Gibbs is asleep]  Have you seen Aliens?  If not... *whistles and adds it to the list*  [A long time ago]

Tony knowing Gibbs well again

[Ok that was adorable]  He has so much energy and for why  [‘Cause he’s petty af]

See, HE understands coffee

Weakling.  Just use the bag.  Privacy be overrated!  [Behind the boxes]  IN the boxes

[Awww she Boujie… Now Kate’s gonna be upset]

It is kinda dumb for him to just stick around

She just better not be bitchy about it

Whenever a character says "humour us,” you're in trouble

Y'ALL ONCE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE POISONING?!!?  They stick in random details for no reason and then never touch them again.  Chekhov's gun just got unloaded and shipped off for scrap

[He a mordorerrrr]

It's so weird not seeing Weatherly in a wheelchair.  Honestly, I kinda forget they're the same actor.  Like, I can see it?  But they're really different in character/personality/acting.  [Which is crazy cause it’s only a few years difference]

This storyline is so confusing.  What exactly is even happening?  [I have no idea]

I might go read through the script before/during endpoint just to try and figure it out.  And I'm not sure it'll help; they just kinda... jump from idea to idea  [Good luck ☠️]

Tony taking off his cap to protect it from the gunfire alsdkfj

[btw I think they were oh this will be interesting for a plot]  Right… And I mean… it was interesting.  But only in the fever-dream kinda way.  It doesn’t really make sense.

This poor marine  

What is this dude's issue with Gibbs????

Oof  [Well damn]  Gibbs gonna feel real safe walking out after you just killed the last dude

"Just wanna talk" Y'all are talking now?!?

HOW ARE THERE ONLY THREE MINUTES LEFT IN THIS EPISODE!?  [☠️☠️🤣🤣☠️☠️]  HOW IS THIS POSSIBLY GONNA BE RESOLVED

Oop- return of the shooting range storyline!  I saw those significant looks between Tony and Gibbs. Only problem: Tony gonna shoot the marine's ear off  [Aghhh M3gan ptsd… again]

"I can't believe you trusted me"  He didn't

[Well damn]  That situation.  Did not need that level of force.  [Brutal]  Bruh, why did they both shoot?!?!?!  [In memory of the hat and phone]  WHY DID THEY BOTH SHOOT MULTIPLE TIMES? EACH!?!?!?  (Also, RIP hat and phone)

[Damn!  That’s wholesome!]

Good for these people, but I feel bad for the wife who didn't get her husband back and now has to watch the other reunion [☠️☠️☠️]

And now has to watch the other reunion

The kids are precioussssss

NO BUT THE GUY’S EAR *&(#*&!(&R*(!&$)!(*&#@$!()  I SAID IT!  I CALLED IT!  WHAT DID I SAYYYYY… I mean.  At least Tony's a consistent shot?

This chick again!  One of these days, we better figure out who she is!

Also, there's a random yellow ribbon around the tree and it's making me think of the song  [You don’t know what that means tho?  The yellow ribbon?]  I know the song...?  [No a yellow ribbon is for a lost loved one]  Oh, damn.  [🤣🤣]

– – – 

Wench: Dude, we never found out what was going on with the person taking the photographs???

Jezebel: Could it have been the guy at the end?  Who specifically wanted to speak to Gibbs?

Wench: I don't think so; wasn't he supposed to be in Colombia?  ALSO WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH THE CALLS?!?!

Jezebel: I don’t know 🤣🤣

Wench: Honestly, my first reaction is a quite solid wtf.  I have 0 clue what just happened. But at least it wasn't terrorists again?

Jezebel: Very much same 🤣🤣🤣

Wench: I wasn't cognizant of the fact that 45 minutes just passed.  In terms of what happened, I feel like that was an episode worth of inconsistency and plot holes.  Feels kinda harsh to say, but it's true

Jezebel: And they will never be filled ☠️🤣

Wench: I even looked at the wiki and just… wot?  Very thorough wiki, with no answers to be had.  (I honestly think the the thoroughness didn't help because it basically just recited the show, whereas I need some kind of broad summary to get what the hell was going on.)

Jezebel: Right

Wench: I did appreciate the characterization this time.  And am very glad that Ducky got a chance to be annoyed about the "boring" allegations.  

Jezebel: Yess

Wench: And calling out his assistant on the headphone thing

Jezebel: YESSSS

Wench: Especially because when I worked in a lab, they didn't let us put on headphones or play music or anything because we had to be able to hear if something went wrong.  And admittedly that was a chem lab, not a morgue where (hopefully) things aren't moving — you know, in an ideal situation 🙂 — but it thus strikes me as weird that he had headphones on

Jezebel: I didn’t really remember him, tbh.  I think most of the episodes I’m remembering are from s2, so I’m used to that version of Kate, and Tony, and Gibbs.  And that’s the season with Jimmy, I think.

Wench: And McGee isn't here as much as you seem to remember either

Jezebel: Right.  And I thought he was introduced as a side thing-

Wench: A one-shot character?

Jezebel: Yeah, and then he wasn’t in the episode after, but was in the one after that… And then he joined for good.  So this is… weird.

Wench: Yeah, I definitely hear that

Jezebel: I will say, Ziva joins for a long time, and I do like her and Tony… I mean, they’re the actual canon thing developing.  But she’s sometimes a bit… meh.  And not as interesting as the thing with Tony and McGee.

Wench: So what I'm hearing is... pros of multishipping?  I mean, ya know... Tony has two hands.  That just seems to be the solution to all of our problems

Jezebel: Right 🙂  There’s also a ship that comes out of Mcgee and Abby dating…

Wench: Well, that already started, right?  Or at their first date did

Jezebel: Yeah.  I start getting into ick with ships like Gibbs and Abby.  Because I don’t like that.

Wench: Oh, absolutely, that’s familial, not romantic.  Same with Gibbs and Tony, tbh.  Like, I can see joking about it, but it’s far more Tony hero-worshipping Gibbs than anything, and not more.  I don’t think I like it.

Jezebel: Right.  You can see how other people see it, right-

Wench: Yeah

Jezebel: But it’s like… It’s like shipping Dean and Jody.  It’s just weird

Wench: I don't like thatttttttttt

Jezebel: Anyway... if I can come up with anything to say for endpoint... Uh.  GOT IT.  Abby's gloves were great!  Honestly, highlight of the episode.  ‘Til next time!

[chidoroki]

Heavenly Delusion EP2

aka: NO ONE HERE IS NORMAL

Ah we get the OP this week and that real quick frame of a “game over” screen with our two protags with the options being “continue?” or “kill” is very concerning!

Wait what’s the back of Maru’s hoodie say? “We are neither machines nor..” what? It gets cut off!

The art style keeps changing and honestly I kinda dig it? Especially when it goes line-less, like that once sequence of Kiruko running where it literally looks like she’s chasing her outlines.

I was so focused in trying to figure stuff out that I didn’t really listen to the song.. but I’ll give it another listen now. And I like it.

What’s going on with wheelchair boy’s arm? Is that why we always see him in a bed or wheelchair? Or is this mark a result of something weird?

I’m all for loving whomever you want but aren’t y’all just children?? like that was more than just a simple kiss man!

The hell is with these kids? Last ep it was Taka doing parkour and now this Kuku chick is jumping and clinging to trees like a damn frog.

Why. are kids. sending shower pics. to each other??

Tokio really does have a collection of Kona’s drawings. I’m sure they got some kind of meaning.

What on earth is in the window? Also, this man-eater has a name? Hiruko? What, were they people before?

“She fed us some sort of drug to put us to sleep.” Yeah I thought of that last week too after the fact. Maru fell asleep way too quick for someone who is always up longer than Kiruko, and the inn owner didn’t eat any herself either.

Oh hold up, I can read the back of the hoodie now. “We are neither machines or game pieces.” … That still concerns me greatly! Could they really be part of a game? Or a dream reality? Maybe they got multiple lives? Answers would be GREAT right about now.

That certainly is one hell of a creepy monster, what the fuck? It’s got different attributes of several animals and it has ultrasonic whip things or something?

I love that even in the middle of an intense chase scene they still choose to give our protags some funny faces.

Ah shit, that thing is the lady’s son? That’s why she didn’t want our duo to go out and hunt it..yet she had a huge gun herself.

“I was almost eaten by one, so I know..” Well that explains her scars from before.

Yeaaahh I knew that death was coming. Rest in peace lady. So much for thinking that monster was protecting her.

Aw, I like how Maru accuses Kiruko of only thinking about defeating the monster instead of the lady who just died but turns out she was already shedding tears.

How do you both expect to kill this creature though..? The gun is out of shots and Maru, I know you were strong against those thugs last time, but could your hits really hurt this thing?

… Huh? He touched it and some weird spirit hand went inside it to crush a heart? Maybe? Help??

What was this Great Disaster huh? But damn Kiruko really is bad with numbers, she can’t remember how old she was for anything.

“The only thing I can kill is Hiruko!” Oh is that the collective name of the monsters? I thought it was just the last one individually.

Jesus christ that was such a hard ass fall! Taka has gotta be dead. Or got a concussion or broken something. No way in hell he gets up fine from that.

BRO HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU LIVING??

“There’s a guy with the same face as me out there somewhere.” Okay but how do YOU know that Maru?? And why we gotta inject this person with a drug? This show is good at keeping SECRETS.

Who’s this Mikura now? Oh, his mom maybe? Or whoever this lady that give Kiruko the job and gun to protect Maru.

And she has the same kind of weird marking over her body as the kid from earlier with the wheelchair.. that boy ain’t gonna make it huh?

Oh god so there really were crocs in the water they just sailed over. That’s hilarious. They had every reason to freak out then!

They’re both very trusting to eat the nice food these farmers prepared for them when the last person who offered them a meal drugged them!

Kiruko does kinda look like this Kiriko Takehaya kart racer but not quite the same, however she did react to the whole “killing your brother” thing.. so maybe they are similar? Somehow? Maybe it’s like whatever is going on with Maru and Tokio and how those two look alike.

OH LOOK. A symbol with some kind of bird in it. How very Promised Neverland of you!

Oh, well I picked up the little hints that Maru might’ve felt some kinda way towards Kiruko but I wasn’t actually expecting him to outwardly say them?!

“My body is a woman’s, but in here, my mind is a man’s. So.. I’m a man.”  Are we saying like..by choice? In which case good for you. Or like.. due to some crazy experiment because that’s the vibes this show gives me with these kids being anything but normal? And maybe that’s why she..? he? this person can never remember the correct age.

Mmm the ending is nice too. I might like the song better than the OP? Also, Taka gives me Don (TPN) energy for some reason.

[crushedsweets]

OK PART 2

NO NEED TO ASK PERMISSION OR DO ANYTHING LOL if i made some requirement it would be weird imo... plus make it harder to answer asks w/o clogging up my feed...so yk... yeup! same goes for everyone, just send a normal ask, tag it as an emoji, and we go from there LOL. otherwise im way less likely to respond granting permission cuz i feel awkward

best of news for past you. i have posted more kate since i got this. W

IM GLAD I THINK!!!

ur so sweet anon. thank u. HAHA i love her. gotta draw some more asap

THERE R A LOT OF U GUYS... HAHA

he is hell on earth...most foul man.... the smell of BO is unbelievable....

i love when people roleplay werewolves. i think its funny. the alpha in them..

THIS WOULD BE SO FUCKING FUNNY TOBY WOULD BE SO FUCKING MAD IT WOULD BE OVER. IT WOULD BE SO OVER.

TYSM!! <3333 UR SO SWEET THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

TREAT ?.... TREAT!!!!

its so funny how liu attracts so many gay men and jane attracts so many gay women. who does jeff attract. (nobody)

joey please explain this to me...asap..

TOBY KNOWS HOW TO BEAT BOX I KNOW IT I JUST KNOW IT HE SPENT FOREVER IN HIS BEDROOM IN HIS YOUTH BEATBOXING AND HE SHOWED LYRA ONE DAY AND SHE LAUGHED AT HIM AND HE SHOVED HER AND WENT TO HIS ROOM TO SULK

shes not in my au! if she is, she'd prob just some sort of spirit that wanders about.. maybe only friends with other ghosts

thank you.. i feel...so safe right now.. <3...

explain

DUDE WEEZER COVER ART IS ALWAYS SO FUNNY TO ME YOU SHOULD DO IT. ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH!!YOURE SO SWEET <333

THANK YOU SO MUCHHH <333 i love nina so much shes so sweet tysm

HELLO!!!!! this is a super sweet concept but unfortunately.. im not capable of doing any sort of blank/reader/etc sort of concept cuz im bad at putting in a blank canvas HAHA BUT I THINK I SAW SOMEONE ELSE GET THIS ASK AND THEY GAVE A REPLY SO I HOPE U GOT SMTH GOOD

yes but it will be me x kate

i think so too. his skin would be very unpredictable. some days he'll just get a nice tan, some days he'll burn so bad he gets blisters. sun spots, freckles, moles, beauty marks, scars. he has everything there is to have on his skin. such is life

beyond fucking canon tbh. yeah.

i think you sent this when i asked for people to ask me for nurse ann headcanons AHHAHA but ill try to put out more just in case.

aw wait thats so cute i never even noticed this

AHHH I AGREE A LOT I SUPER AGREE. "running and fighting for freedom" freedom is such a huge thing for toby... "this is the last time i'll cry lullabies" im sure several times in his youth, he swore to god 'this is the last time someone takes xyz (power, joy, safety, etc) from me' . many times he was brought to tears and his dad beat it out of him. now he's stuck with swearing to god nobody will EVER take that shit from him ever again. 'im so tired of walking through this fire' literally . the second he walked into the fire he set when he was 17, he's been living through it every fuckign day he works under slendy and it suuuucks fucking aaaassss....

HELLO THANK UUUU AGAIN tbh i think! i think i'd just throw him into Dina's cult. he'd constantly paint her and treat her as a muse, because she's the center and 'goddess' of the cult. and then, to replicate the slaughter he committed in his university, he would instead mass-murder the cult after dina's disappearance... maybe die, maybe spend forever searching for her. maybe just go to jail after. but he'd def be apart of dina and lazari's story.

I HAVE SEEN DIGITAL CIRCUS!!! hmmm...... i think... kate as zooble for sure. lulu as gangle for sure. brian as kaufmo idk why... ummmm.... jack as pomni. maybe toby can be caine? not very fitting but also i feel like i could force it somehow.... i dunno who would be kinger tbh.

OK I NEED TO CLEAR MY ASKBOX

IM JUST GONNA ANSWER A TON OF THEM HERE SO I DONT CLOG UP MY FEED....

hi >.<

this is so fucking sweet i remembered how happy i was when i first got my car. i cried everyday for a week straight because i was so happy. very glad yall got to watch me get my first car. i spend over an hour in her every day commuting now. LMFAOOO (i named her lindsay btw) ((after tdi lsinday)). im so sorry im late but thank you so much this meant sm !!! <3

you asked me this in august im evil oh my god. anyway i aagree. but i am always inclined to forever think he's a midwest emo guy. twin sized mattress forever

SHE NEEDS AND DESERVES SO MANY.

im immediately inclined to say clocky or toby the second i see time and fire mentions. so ticciwork. my clocky is often a bit messy so she'd be pissed and angry and upset over the sort of war she's found herself in, especially as she sees toby just falling deeper into it. 'my god, was i oblivious?' when she finally realizes toby will always, always put Slenderman before her. frustrating. 'hell stays hungry for a world so weak' natalie is hungry for a good world, but she thinks everyone is too weak for goodness, meanwhile toby is hungry for power so he can make everyone else seem weak. etc. 'they only want you to bleed' they being slendy, operator, zalgo, etc etc etc... power, being a pawn, fighting, using humans as toys in a battlefield, etc etc.. yeah

RELEASE ME JOEY

i genuinely think nina is a really good influence on so many of the creeps. like theyre all assholes, traumatized, refuse to believe in the good in the world, etc etc. but nina is traumatized and still kickin. she comes in like ^_^ hello chat. and i think that, while its still important to feel the shitty feelings, it's really grounding to see someone whos just so .. able to be happy. idk. someone who SEEKS joy, rather than expects it to fall into their lap, and blames the world when it doesnt

this si perfect idk why i forgot about bats for him. gotta get back into this idea

AHHH OK I WILL DO MORE EVENTUALLY i just wanna say thank yewww i think theyre such a good sibling dynamic. like little brothers and big sisters and both being little assholes to eachother but would die for the other. idk. ugh. important to me.

actually this sounds really sweet..... thats funny cuz i was JUST talking to a friend about who i would have EJ go endgame with if i had to, but i couldnt settle on anyone. but liu seems like a good fit for ej. i think they'd be super sweet

ANON ME TOO AHHHH ITS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING EVER. I DONT GAF ABOUT EVIL MEAN 'CANON' SLENDER I LOVE WHEN HE'S A DAD AND WORRIES AND STRESSES. IEPFB AND KASTOWAYS SLENDY>

AH THANK YOU!!! he reminds me of my little cousins HAHA theyre like 10-14 right now and theyre all cuties.... just playing roblox and being mischievous...

THIS IS ABOUT THE BLUSHING NAT DRAWING ISNT IT AHAH OMG THANK YOU!!! i think shes so cute. i know she cant handle compliments. she's either deadpanned 'thanks' or just covers her face and says 'shut up' cuz she doesnt know what to do.

I LOVE HER TOO!!!

GOOD NEWS THEN ive drawn her a handful of times since u sent this HAHA TYSM

you sent like... natobina i think... ok tbh kinda slaps

OK REAL but also when i read it i keep reading it as 'cochina' and i cannot bring myself to name the throuple that </3 HAHA

TBH AHAHA I SEE IT. TOBYS AMETHYST GARNETS NATALIE AND NINA IS STEVEN.

i want jeff to ache in his loneliness

i need to draw connie asap but also THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR THE CAR CONGRATS I REALLY APPRECIATE IT IM SO HAPPY I LOVE MY CAR SO MUCH i gotta go vaccuum her..

shes such a cat to me. feline. of sorts, if you will

also good news for you anon, i have also drawn her an ungodly amount of times since youve sent this. LOL

THEYRE MY ANGELS I HAVE MORE OF THEM !!! I LOVE THEM!! AHHHGGG

literally the second that people tell me i made them start to like clocky i am overwhelmed with joy. i feel so much ache when people aren't fond of her bc shes so fucking cool and such a good character and so much fun. so sad that 2015 era creepypasta fandom destroyed her. but im here to fix it...

IM SORRY ANON I BARELY DRAW HIM HES JUST SO BOYISH I LAUGH EVERYTIME I SEE HIM FKAHAHAAH OK OKOK ILL CHANGE ILL DRAW HIM I SWEAR

I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST STARTED DOING EMOJI ANONS BAHAHA u guys r funny

incredibly. happy. to do this to u.

nope! im not too interested in the 2021 nina just cuz i feel like i've seen that character concept many times (not just in jane), BUT if i had to do my own intepretation of her, 2021 nina would be INCREDIBLY immature in like. not a childish way, but an entitled, angry-fueled adult who cannot comprehend anyone else's thoughts/feelings. and thus, would despise OG nina (although within reason, OG nina idolizes the person who killed her family) . but even if there wasnt a good reason to dislike OG nina, she'd be mean. and OG nina would be mad and bitch. and theyd theyd fight. HAHA

I-IF...???????? ANON?

HELD TO THE FUCKING BRIM

[flamboyant-king]

that’s meta

[mothbeasts]

I am so tired right now that's probably why I'm making my own posts but!

I cannot wait for my appointment to talk about getting medicated for my adhd because. Wow I am feeling the effects right now

[hornime]

watch and learn | iwaizumi hajime x f!reader x team japan

there were two things they all had in common: the growing bulges in their pants that they were urgently trying to distract themselves from, and the fact that their full attention was on you.

warnings: 18+, timeskip!everyone, BIG MANGA SPOILERS BASICALLY, exhibitionism, voyeurism, orgasm denial

w/c: 3.1k

a/n: now i don’t know if iwaizumi hajime (27) athletic trainer learned about female orgasms when he was studying sports science at irvine BUT he def knows how to show a girl a good time which is reason enough for me to write this. also, i read this article to prep for this piece and it was super enlightening, so i do recommend giving it a read if you’re interested!

in the middle of his morning run, iwaizumi slowed momentarily to check the repetitive buzzing of this phone, curious as to who was messaging him this early. when he’d left the apartment, you were sleeping, and you had the tendency to still be sleeping by the time he returned, so who else could it be?

he unlocked his phone, quickly finding the source of the notifications: the team japan group chat.

[06:43 AM] miya: hey @iwaizumi—you know stuff abt the human body right?

[06:43 AM] miya: cus like you studied it in college and shit??

iwaizumi rolled his eyes. i spent four years in america to earn my degree, came back home to support my country’s olympic team, and dealt with the biggest idiots of volleyball, only to get treated like this?

[06:44 AM] iwaizumi: yes, miya. i took many courses on the human body. in fact that’s the purpose of my job. to know the human body. because i am a fucking athletic trainer.

[06:44 AM] miya: okay okay i get it. dumb question

[06:44 AM] iwaizumi: why? is something up? you need help or anything?

[06:44 AM] miya: uhhh kinda

[06:44 AM] miya: @hinata i’m not fucking asking this

[06:44 AM] bokuto: bro just do it

[06:44 AM] miya: @hinata @hinata @hinata 

iwaizumi cocked an eyebrow. what the hell are they going on about?

[06:45 AM] iwaizumi: so am i needed or...

[06:45 AM] hinata: YES

[06:45 AM] hinata: we had a question

[06:46 AM] sakusa: by “we” he means him, miya, and bokuto

[06:46 AM] suna: yeah don’t bring us into this

[06:46 AM] hinata: don’t listen to them! both suna and sakusa wanna know too

[06:46 AM] iwaizumi: okay. what’s up

[06:47 AM] hinata: we wanted to know how to make a girl cum

he chuckled in disbelief.

[06:47 AM] iwaizumi: you’re telling me that you guys are in your mid-20s, literal olympic athletes, and you don’t know how to make a girl cum

[06:47 AM] iwaizumi: have you never done it before??

[06:47 AM] miya: NO

[06:47 AM] miya: FOR THE RECORD IVE MADE MANY GIRLS CUM

[06:48 AM] bokuto: ME TOO

[06:48 AM] bokuto: i think

he laughed out loud, briefly startling another runner on the sidewalk.

[06:48 AM] iwaizumi: you guys are unbelievable

[06:48 AM] hinata: i mean she says she finished but idk what i did to make that happen

[06:48 AM] bokuto: ^^

[06:48 AM] hinata: so like i wanna know how to actually do it

[06:48 AM] suna: actually im kinda interested in this too

[06:48 AM] aran: i pray for your future girlfriends. this is painful to see. im out

[06:48 AM] kageyama: i’m with aran on this one. you guys are dumb

[06:48 AM] hinata: shut up. you suck.

[06:48 AM] miya: cmon iwaizumi, help a guy out

[06:48 AM] sakusa: it wouldnt hurt for you to give us some pointers at least

iwaizumi sighed.

[06:49 AM] iwaizumi: @miya @hinata @bokuto @suna @sakusa meet in the locker room after practice. ill give you guys a lesson in the art of pleasing a woman

to teach effectively, he needed a volunteer, though he was sure you wouldn’t need much convincing. you’d always loved the attention, and the biceps, of the pro athletes. he spun on his heel and jogged home.

you woke up to the sound of your apartment door opening, your boyfriend creeping inside, forehead damp with sweat.

“hey,” you said quietly, making your way towards him.

“hey, baby. sorry for waking you up, i was trying to be quiet.”

you giggled sleepily. “s’okay, haji. you spoil me too much anyway, always letting me sleep in for hours while you’re off doing god knows what.”

at that, his eyes crinkled in amusement, and as you tried to step into a hug, he shuffled back. “woah there, baby. i gotta shower, ‘m all gross from my run. and then,” he gave you a peculiar look that you couldn’t quite place, “i got a proposition for you.”

after his shower, he waltzed out of the bathroom, steam wafting out from behind the door. his tanned body made you feel things you definitely shouldn’t be barely an hour after the sun’s risen, and you reached out to massage the tension in his shoulders. “so, what’s your proposition?”

“well,” he hesitated. “it’s a bit... unconventional. the team asked me to show them how to make a girl cum,” he took in your intrigued expression. “and it’d be a lot easier to explain if i had someone to do a live demonstration with. so,” his eyes flicked up to you. “that’s where you’d come in.”

“a... live demonstration? like you’re gonna make me cum in front of them?”

“yeah, essentially.” he gave you a devilish grin. “you want that, baby? wanna show those boys how a real man treats a gorgeous woman like you?”

you rubbed your thighs at his words. “yeah,” you purred. “i do. wanna show them how good you are to me.”

and that’s how you found yourself nestled between iwaizumi’s muscled thighs, back pressed against his chest, completely naked, with five of japan’s best volleyball players staring at your body in awe.

practically an expert in his field, iwaizumi knew the human body inside and out. this had many benefits; of course it allowed him to catapult up the ranks and work with the country’s best athletes to keep them at the top of their game, but it also had a unique side effect: an overwhelming vault of knowledge on how to make a woman feel good anywhere. 

you’d seen the proof firsthand; he knew exactly where to push, prod, stroke, and tease to have you cumming in seconds, over and over, as many times as you wanted. he was amazing, and you were well-aware just how lucky you were to have such a talented man in the sheets.

“oi,” iwaizumi snapped his fingers, drawing each of the players’ eyes away from your glistening cunt. “pay attention. i know more than anybody that she’s hot as fuck, but you gotta listen to what i’m saying or else there’s no point to this.”

he lightly pressed his lips against your collarbone, slowly tracing them against your jaw, the contact making you squirm. “if you wanna make a girl cum, first thing you gotta do is make her comfortable. if she’s worried about how she looks or sounds or smells she’s gonna be too stressed to let go.” he moved his hands to grope your tits, his calloused fingers brushing over your hardening nipples. “so reassure her, tell her how irresistible she is, how pretty her moans are, how tasty her pussy is. shit like that. the sexier she feels the better it’ll be.”

he leaned into you, whispering into your ear. “feeling good, baby? we can stop whenever.”

you nodded weakly, afraid to open your mouth, barely holding in your whines as his palms worked wonders on your chest and stomach, sending shocks of heat wherever they touched. 

you craned your neck up to observe the men before you. atsumu was flushed red, wringing his hands as if he was worried they’d do something embarrassing if he didn’t keep them occupied. hinata was bouncing his leg up and down, wiping his palms on his shorts as he took in the plushness of your thighs. bokuto was basically drooling, greedily tracing your soft curves with his eyes. suna maintained his indifferent expression, but the reddening tips of his ears showed that he was a lot more hot and bothered than he let on. sakusa stood quietly to the side, leaning against the wall, mask tucked under his chin as if he’d just realized how much the temperature had gone up in the room.

there were two things they all had in common: the growing bulges in their pants that they were urgently trying to distract themselves from, and the fact that their full attention was on you.

"make sure to try different things; there’s multiple ways to make a woman cum. only like a quarter of women experience orgasms just from penetration,” someone made a sound of shock. “yes, the number is that small, bokuto.” 

his fingertip slowly trailed past your belly button, dipping into the mess between your thighs, causing you to slightly arch your back into the solid chest supporting you. “foreplay with the clit is your best bet; even stupid fucks like you probably wouldn’t screw it up too bad.”

hinata opened his mouth to speak, but iwaizumi anticipated his question and continued.

“i know you’re wondering where the clit is. it’s around here, under this hood of skin,” he slid his digit between your labia. “s’not gonna come with a label so you gotta explore a little bit. i know where hers is like the back of my hand, but for you guys, with your girls, you’re gonna have to move your fingers around. slowly. and pay attention to her expressions.” he began to rub in a circular motion around your clit, causing you to make small whimpers of pleasure and shift your hips to meet his movements. 

“if she clenches up or twitches when you feel a certain spot, like this,” your legs flexed as he increased the pressure, “that’s the clit. be kind, it’s not a volleyball. be gentle n’ make small circles, whether it’s with your fingers or your tongue.” 

he thought for a second. “speaking of which, oral’s important. very important. most women cum when they’ve been eaten out, so use your mouths for something more useful than just dirty talk. suck on the clit, maybe tongue-fuck her a ‘lil, but your main focus should always be the clit.”

he removed his hands from your sopping pussy, and you made a pathetic noise of frustration. “’m sorry, baby,” he muttered seductively in your ear. “don’t wanna have you finishing too early. lesson’s barely started.”

he turned his attention back to your audience, his lustful tone being replaced by a more instructional one. “there’s other places that’ll help a woman orgasm, too: her nipples, her neck, her ears—”

“her ears?” sakusa questioned. he blushed profusely as everyone turned to look at him, surprised that he’d opened his mouth. “what? we were all thinking it.”

“s’a valid question,” iwaizumi said. “yeah, you can lick ‘em if they’re sensitive. hers are.” as if to prove his statement, he licked a stripe on the shell of you ear, making you wiggle helplessly at the stimulation. “‘n leave kisses everywhere else. feels good for them just like it does for us.” he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and forcing your movements to stop as he traced patterns with his tongue all around your neck.

“something you should know about an orgasm is that it’s something called a positive feedback loop.” he looked up and was met with five blank stares. shouldn’t have expected anything from these dumb jocks, he lamented. “basically that means that, once you start releasing sexual tension, things will feel better and better until you climax.”

“oh!” atsumu chirped. “like how my sets get better and better throughout a game.”

“no, not really,” he quipped. “your sets suck throughout.” atsumu frowned at that.

iwaizumi exhaled exasperatedly. “the general idea is that the body gets more and more sensitive, muscle contractions become more and more frequent, and touches feel more and more stimulating until you cum. all right?”

they all made noises of understanding except for bokuto and hinata, whose eyes had glazed over at the first mention of an academic term. whatever, iwaizumi thought. they’ll get it through example.

"don’t worry about it too much if you don’t get it, that’s just an orgasm on paper. in practice, though, this is the crucial step: listen to her. she knows what feels good. never forget that you’re just an idiot with a cock.” he took a breath, gathering his thoughts before proceeding with his lecture.

“if she tells you to slow down, you slow down. if she tells you to go harder, you go harder. if she tells you to keep doing what you’re doing, you...”

“keep doing what you’re doing”, they all chimed in at staggered times.

“that’s right. don’t go faster or else you’ll mess up the rhythm and she won’t cum. and you wanna make her cum, don’t you?”

they nodded simultaneously.

“so if you keep up the tempo and force that feels good to her, you’ll be fine. questions?”

suna spoke up. “what about,” he choked on the word. “penetration?”

hinata hummed in agreement and bokuto jumped in. “yeah, what if i wanna make her cum on my cock?”

iwaizumi made a weird face. “that’s some pretty advanced stuff, but i guess i can go over it. when you try it, though, you have to be patient. with both of your bodies. s’not rocket science but s’not always easy. also it depends on the woman but sometimes she physically won’t be able to finish from penetration alone. just make sure you’re communicating.”

his swirled two fingers over your hole before shoving them in, your wetness making it easy for him to thrust in and out as your entrance stretched to accommodate him. “f—fuck!” your eyes flew open at the intrusion and you body lurched forward, but you were held back by his strong forearm. “ohmygod, oh my g—ah! feels s’good haji, s’good!”

“i know, baby, i know. you’re taking it so well.” he turned his attention back to the men, each of who were gulping heavily. if that didn’t signal to you that they were evidently affected by your moans, the way they shifted in their workout shorts did.

“boys, focus.” he curled his fingertips, brushing at the spongy spot at the top of your walls, ripping a pleasured wail from your throat and causing tears to prick at your eyelashes. “when you’re fingering her, you’ll feel an area inside that’s a bit soft and squishy. that’s the g-spot.”

you trembled in his arms as he mercilessly struck the same place over and over again with his fingers. “when you’re fucking her, try to keep the pressure building there, but it’ll be harder to make her finish since you can’t see what you’re doing.”

your breath hitched as iwaizumi’s incessant movements brought your body tantalizingly close to your release. he suddenly stopped and you almost sobbed in disappointment, until he plunged his fingers impossibly deeper.

a guttural scream of ecstasy came from within you, and your eyes rolled back as he began playing with another part of you, your body putty in his hands. “hngh, haji, ah! so good, s’good...” you threw your hands back around his neck, nails digging into the skin as you desperately tried to keep yourself grounded. your soft moans filled the air.

“stop clenching,” he hissed. “can barely move my hand.” you tried to relax but failed miserably as the tips of his fingers grazed your cervix. 

“holy fuck,” suna muttered. “you’re a god.”

“she sounds so pretty,” atsumu said in amazement.

“i wanna make a girl feel good like that, too!” bokuto sulked.

“you can do it, bokuto!” hinata hit him on the arm. “just listen to iwaizumi. clearly he knows what he’s talking about.” 

their eyes refocused on your figure, writhing in pleasure, prompting white hot waves of arousal to pool in their stomachs. 

“yeah,” sakusa said. “clearly.”

“stop talking,” iwaizumi ordered. “and listen. beyond the g-spot is the cervix, which is basically the end of the vagina. if you’re long enough,” he briefly scanned each of their faces, “which i’m sure you are, you’ll be able to reach it if you bottom out.”

“haji—hajime, please.” the stimulation was coming absolutely unbearable, and you could tell he was sadistically holding you at the edge, refusing to give you the satisfaction of finishing. “lemme cum, please. please lemme cum, please, please, i can’t—i can’t take it ‘nymore!”

“what was that? you can’t take it anymore? gonna cum?” you helplessly bobbed your head up and down, hoping that he’d give you permission. “well,” he growled, “we can’t have that happening, can we?”

he abruptly halted his thrusts, pulling his fingers out of you with an embarrassing squelch and popping them into his mouth. pearly tears rolled down your cheeks as you grieved the loss of contact and relief.

your viewers looked on in horror, feeling immense sympathy for you; you just looked so dejected from being denied yet another orgasm.

“why didn’t you—why didn’t you let her cum?” bokuto asked.

“why do you think?” iwaizumi snapped. “don’t want you guys to see her when she does. that’s for me, and only me.”

“oh, okay,” he responded, disgruntlement clear in his voice.

iwaizumi’s glare could cut glass, it was so sharp. the possessiveness that had enveloped his mind made him hyperfocus on just one thought: being alone with you. “so, any other questions? if not, we’re done here.”

you pouted at that, not wanting the demonstration to be over. “but haji,” you mumbled into his collarbone. “i di’nt get to cum. and i wanna.” you looked up at him, eyes wide with want. “please make me cum.”

iwaizumi sent a harsh glance to the players that nonverbally communicated his message loud and clear: get out. they shuffled awkwardly out of the locker room due to the hardness between their legs that they would most definitely need to deal with soon.

your boyfriend turned his attention back to you. “’m sorry, i know i had to deny you a bunch of times. i just really hated the idea of anyone but me seeing the cute way you look when you cum.”

you made a small noise of acknowledgement and a little whisper of it’s okay, haji. he looked down, sensing the way your poor, desperate cunt was pulsing around nothing, the erotic sight injecting him with the pure need to ravage you.

he shifted his head to kiss you passionately. “why don’t i make it up to you?” he breathed between your parted lips before picking you up by the backs of your thighs, forcing you to lock your ankles around his waist. 

he delicately situated you onto one of the recovery beds at the back of the room, before murmuring something that made your pussy throb in anticipation: “i’ll make you cum whichever way you want, however many times you want, all right? all you gotta do is lay back and take it.”

© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.

[beann-e]

inspiration from the tiktok audio “ I don’t love you i’m just passing the time “

This was never about you. Honestly you were surprised it took you so long to notice.

No that was a lie you weren’t surprised because it was his fault he never told you flat out that he wasn’t expecting much from you. It’s not that he wasn’t interested he just — he didn’t know what to do. Of course he thought you were beautiful and that’s what scared him but at the same time gave him the energy to talk to you.

His personality was known for leading him to talk to beautiful people.

He was sure he’d never date you because, his heart belonged to kiyoko .

No one could ever top her or at least that’s what he thought until you came along. Here you were in all your beauty putting anyone else to shame that dared to stand next to you.

You were perfect for him and after a couple months you were all his. He adored you even after highschool when you two finally decided to move in together.

he told you every day how much he loved you. His love even trickling down to his actions when he would ask you to do couple things appearing out of no where with a request

‘ y/n how about black hair dye huh ? wanna try something new together i’ll color my hair too ! ‘

you instantly agreeing to every ask all of them ranging from

‘ hey y/n , have you always been able to see? are you sure because you were squinting just awhile ago we can get you glasses I mean I don’t care about price if it’s for you —no no I think we should—let’s do black square rims ? i think they would fit your pretty face ‘

to

‘ babe when you do your makeup this time try some face designs their so cool I see them all the time on my instagram here — can I try ‘ him smiling before sitting next to you and guiding the eyeliner out of your reluctant hand a tight smile drawn across your face

Him smiling when you turned to the mirror to see a small black dot next to your lips. ‘ you look so pretty with it ‘

You hadn’t noticed until the volleyball reunion when you sat in a circle with all the old members and tsukishimas mouth spilling out his harsh words unbothered by your reaction “ why the hell do we have two kiyokos now? “

his glasses moving down on his nose as he spoke again “ y/n i’m sure we only need one I personally prefer the original she looks more “ his head tilted as his eyes ran over your new look “ natural“

“ yeah I was actually wondering that but I didn’t wanna bring it up first I um y/n are you trying to look like kiyoko or “

your small cough coming out and drawing all the attention back to you as you felt the same woman turn to face you her own eyes now seeing what the others were talking about “ of — of course not I — “

“ eh what the fuck “ your boyfriends voice coming out loudly as he now sat pissed off with the group “ are you pricks trying to say I couldn’t get over kiyoko or some shit “

“ what what no tanaka-san we “ sugawaras voice coming out to try to let the tension fizzle out

“ no because I’m feeling like there’s something being unsaid here“ he grunted “ if anyone has anything else to say badly about my s/o then they should just fuck off “

“ tanaka “ you screamed

“ no i’m tired of people thinking I can’t get shimizu out of my head I can —I can and I will “

“ y-you will ? “

“ I mean I have “ his eyes locked with yours as he spoke low “ I have “

The room grew quiet as he stood the chair he sat in being pushed back as he walked off you standing up too offering a small smile to everyone in the circle “ sorry if you’ll excuse me “

“ your good—I think he needs you a little bit more than we do right now“ daichis voice came out a bit more concerned than he wanted it too

Your figure being seen getting smaller and smaller as you ran after your boyfriend to the kitchen grabbing his arm loosely “ babe I “

“ let go y/n “

“ but I — tanaka what’s up why are you acting like this “

“ I said let the fuck go y/n “ his voice boomed as he yanked his arm from you your body moving back a little due to the strength he’d pulled it back with “ i’m going to go get a drink I can’t handle those assholes alone “

“ your — you’re not alone tanaka i’m with you ill handle them with you “

A smile slowly spreading across your face when he stopped moving only to turn over his shoulder biting his lip as he stood thinking to himself his hand pointing to the kitchen “ for some reason that only makes me need a drink even more “

You nodded softly as he rolled his eyes at you “ you do understand correct ? “

“ yeah yeah no of course “ you smiled tightly as he walked off and you walked back to the crowded living room trying to contain your tears that wanted to spill so badly usually when he acted like this he’d drink himself to sleep.

You sat down on the floor letting yourself join the huddle as everyone spoke you getting lost in your thoughts. It wasn’t often that this happened but when it did it never went the way you would want it to. He would always get distant instead of becoming clingy like you would rather. He’d become meaner with his words instead of thinking of you before speaking like he usually would.

“ prick only ever thinking of himself —a stupid child“ you whispered out thinking of your boyfriend and his future actions that you could already predict

“ yeah shoyos gotta be— the asshole requested it “ kageyama whispered to you as you turned to see hinata sitting across from you waving to you when he met your gaze making you speak softly with a smile “ sweet “

“ hey y/n wanna play dare or dare with us ? “

you shook your head laughing a bit “ what are we teenagers again“ you laughed a bit louder “ but no i’ll — i’ll pass “

“ aw come on your the only other chick here besides kiyoko “

“ no no no you guys go ahead i’ll just watch “

everyone sighed as they began the game you hearing loud steps pound through the house as your boyfriends loud voice cut through the laughter “ what you pricks started without me “

“ yeah uh just join tanaka- san “

“ fuck yeah “ he wobbled over to sit next to daichi not locking eyes with you only smiling at everyone around the table taking a long swig of the liquor bottle he’d sat on the table in his adventure over.

The air that was once tense seemed to calm down as everyone started drinking and suggesting dares. You smiling as you looked at everyone this had to be the best night of your life finally getting to see all your friends again after kageayma and hinata traveled non stop and everyone else never had the time to have a party.

You patted yourself on the back seeing everyone having such a good night.

“ ok ok last dare “ nishinoya burped out as he shakily raised his hand already drunk off his ass his words sluring as he spoke “ I dare tanaka—san to “ he took another gulp from the bottle only to push it aside and open the new one that laid dormant between the two of you “ to kiss the prettiest person in the room “

Everyones eyes widening as they all broke out into a laughing fit “ fucking nishinoyas so stupid “

“ this asshole just wasted a dare on an obvious answer “

hinata rubbing the said males back as his head finally dropped to the table cheek hitting the brown table as he laughed “ ha yeah sure ‘m stupid —real stupid “

he smiled drunkenly laughing at the tables comments “ haha its obviously not that obvious “

Your heart dropped smile only following as you looked from nishinoyas eyes to the scene playing in front of you. Your boyfriends lips locked on another pair that weren’t your own. His hands coming up to the back of her head to push her closer to him as he hungrily pressed his lips onto hers

Her eyes wide as his were closed almost like he was enjoying this “ what “ you whispered out as a rough hand came in contact with tanakas shoulder grabbing it and pulling him back

“ what the fuck you asshole “ tsukishimas voice was threatening as he stared down on the male genuinely confused “ what the hell do you think your doing “

“ hey blondy is that anyway to speak to someone older than you“ he scoffed “ mind your manners child “

“ mind— mind your manners? “ your voice was short and quiet as your eyes darted around the room eyes blinking back the surprise they held as everyone turned to face you only making this deepening pit in your stomach grow.

“ why— tanaka— san why would you do that “

“ what — whatd I do this time suga huh — first it was having a crush on kiyoko everyone was screaming how I wouldn’t get her ha “ he scoffed “ fucking assholes were right so here I am with a fucking backup “

He shook his head as he leaned it back to stare up at the ceiling “ shitty arts and crafts project of building her because I couldn’t have the original — fucking sad “

your heart broke “ sitting here pretending kissing y/n is the same as kissing kiyoko — hell I didn’t even wanna kiss y/n right now i wanted to kiss kiy— “

“ shitty asshole you just did “ tsukishimas voice raised his eyes holding the anger you couldn’t even hold for yourself “ you just did right in front of your s/o “

“ well with them looking the same how the fuck was I suppose to tell “ he laughed “ that’s what you said earlier right ? so what’s so wrong with me enforcing it ? “ he scoffed “ everyone already believed it right so why the fuck does it matter they look the same, act the same , talk the fucking same so in the end I kissed y/n right— ha “

your body hurt just like your heart and your brain was spinning “ why would you — why would you date me tanaka if you didn’t want me “

“ did it look like I was gonna get kiyoko anytime soon — your a ditz — the whole time i’m doing this to get over her and you just became her “

you sat silently blinking back the tears that you held throat holding a sob that wanted to make its way out “ get the fuck out “

“ excuse m—”

“ GET THE FUCK OUT “ you screamed your tears disappearing and turning into anger “ get out get out get out “ you screamed hands reaching out to punch him over the table as you repeated the phrase

“ ok— ok stop stop “

“ no no no get the fuck out I paid for this I paid I paid “ you screaming like a child throwing a tantrum in a supermarket him only moving to stand and walk to the bedroom drunkenly to grab his clothes “ just let me grab my stuff i’ll be out of your hair for the night “

you raged as he made his way into your once shared bedroom forgetting the living room full of people as you ran after him to rip the clothes out of his hand that he held. All the items you’d bought with your hard earned money. The shoes you’d spent over 50$ on for his birthday in his hand along with the limited edition shirt you’d bought for him after he begged for it screaming that was his favorite player.

The items that you’d stayed up four hours for the night of just to buy it for him with your paycheck that week. Your thoughts only making you more upset when you thought back to everything you’d done for the male and the stuff he’d done for y—

he’d done absolutely nothing for you in this whole relationship and this only pissed you off more at the thought

Your heart broke again when you noticed you were already screaming at him again “ get the hell out “

“ i’m going fuck y/n “

“ go faster asshole “

“ what so no clothes ? “ he laughed “ come on that’s pretty harsh —baby it’s cold out give me a jacket or something at least until morning when I come back home “

“ morning “ you scoffed “ you’ll need a jacket for awhile tanaka because your not coming back in my house so freeze your ass off out there or go with your high school crush and her husband “

His once smiling face turning into an angry one as he stepped closer to you the alcohol spilling from his breath and onto your face as he stared down at you “ the fuck are you bringing that up for “

“ your the one who went around kissing a married woman “ you were gonna rub this all in his face. You couldn’t wait until kiyokos husband beat up the drunken deadbeat in front of you.

“I thought it was you “

“ yeah sure after you gave me a makeover to look like her i’m sure you did tanaka “

“ so fucking ungrateful “

“ oh now i’m ungrateful “

“ yeah you are “ his voice got louder as he pointed between you and him “ I made you into the woman I love — the perfect woman you should be on your knees thanking me right now “

“ aw should I “ you sighed “ god what’s wrong with me “

“ exactly now give me my stuff back i’m going to bed this is fucking with my head ’m drunk and I wanna bask in it for a minute — maybe forget you just tried to kick me out so I don’t get on your ass in the morning “

“ yeah of course babe you need your rest “ you nodded as he walked towards your door to pick up where you’d thrown his clothes only for you run and jump on his back arms wrapping around his neck your legs wrapping around his torso “ i’m gonna kill you— you asshole “

“ what the fuck “

“ then i’m gonna lock your body in my fucking freezer or even have daichi fake an arrest you prick— you’ve made my life a living hell — and now you wanna sleep— in my house “

You weren’t sure how he ended up leaving all you knew is that your heart seriously broke when you finally locked the door and rested your forehead against it. Tears spilling from your eyes for the first time that night. You’d gone crazy you had to have because just a few hours ago you almost choked the male to death after jumping on his back like a pro wrestler you were really going crazy

Your body relaxed as you felt a warmth make it’s way over to you only for it to tense when a familiar hand caressed your back and tried to lift your upper body up and away from the floor you’d fell onto sometime that night “ come on y/n —at least let me help you to the couch “ a sigh made it’s way through the house “ I promise you can wallow in your shitty tear soaked shirt after I make sure your comfortable and not hurting “

a cough quickly followed “ physically that is — this shits gotta hurt emotionally “

Your words coming out in a slurred whine like a child “ but it’s dirty — it needs to be cleaned “

“ would I tell you to go sit down if it wasn’t “ he spit back as he finally got you to fall into his chest after leading you over to the couch turning off the hallway light and leaving the lamp next to the couch on.

Him sighing out and shifting uncomfortably as you cried into his shirt causing him to need to distract himself from the crying woman in his arms. How the hell did he end up the nice one in this situation

Why did he push everyone out the house? He could’ve left hell he could’ve copied nishinoya and stolen the leftover four liquor bottles you had laid out on the table before everything happened

he wasn’t a comforting person so why would he shoo everyone else that could’ve helped you away?

he scoffed as he tried to fiddle with his sleeves only to take off his glasses and clean them over and over again

“ how many times are you gonna clean them “ you sniffled into his chest

“ until you finish acting like a baby — I feel like I have a kid ? Like i’m a parent I mean what do parents do” his hand softly came down on your head to pet your hair softly unsure why to do in this situation “ I uh— do you want warm milk ? chocolate or strawberry or is it my baby’s bedtime ? “

“ shut up tsuki “ he laughed as he felt you snuggle up closer to him “ so why are you — of all people —the only one that stayed everyone else must think i’m crazy or something “

“ eh I mean they already thought you were we were making bets before we walked in here on what you’d changed this time to look like kiyoko “

you slapping his arm softly before laughing “ god do I really look like her “

His once stoic face grew sad as his eyes ran over your facial features his eyebrows furrowing as he looked down on you “ yeah — yeah you really do — that crazy asshole “ he shook his head hand reaching out to touch your hair again feeling how burned it was from constantly flat ironing it and curling it like tanaka wanted “ god what did he do to you “

“ build a y/n “ you laughed as he stood up his own words following quickly after yours “ come on “

“ what “ you said as you stared at his open outstretched hand “ what’s going on “

“ let’s go “ you shook your head no “ look do you wanna change back or no “

You swallowed the lump in your throat before nodding slowly and taking his hand to travel with him to the bathroom. Him speaking to you softly only loud enough for you to try and figure out some of the words you couldn’t.

“ for some reason I miss old y/n — and I guess I wouldn’t mind seeing em’ again preferably across the table from me in a booth at 2:30 saturday with strawberry cake in front us? “

[ifmywishescametrue]

Choosing which prompt to send you from list was an impossible task!! They’re just all that good🥺 but if u feel inspired, maybe 15 or 76 would be really cute for stevetony?

Also, hope you have the best and loveliest day, friend 💖💝

thank you for sending one!! for #76 - "thank you for making me smile" - here's 1.6k words of getting together and absolutely terrible jokes

also i hope you have the loveliest day too 🥺

"I'm never listening to your advice again," Steve says the second he walks in the door. He lets it slam shut behind him and stomps off to his bedroom with another rough bang.

Tony and Bucky exchange a look on the couch, and Tony pauses their video game.

"Me or you?"

"Probably you," Bucky says. "Your advice is usually shit."

Tony scoffs, "Please, I'm a genius for a reason. All of my advice is amazing. Or are you forgetting that I'm the reason that you have a boyfriend right now?"

"One time in the last three years and you won't let it go."

"It'd be you and your right hand for the rest of your life if it wasn't for me."

Bucky rolls his eyes, "I would have made it work with Sam on my own eventually. But that's besides the point. I haven't given Steve any advice lately, so it has to be you. And in case you forgot, I don't even live here. He didn't know I was here when he said it."

"You don't live here?" Tony says with mock surprise. "Wow, you eat an awful lot of our food then."

Bucky grins, "It's payback for all the times you did the same to me before I moved out. Now go fix Steve. We'll rematch tomorrow."

"I didn't break him," Tony argues, even as he sets his controller down and stands from the couch. "I am a beacon of wisdom."

"You started a fire in the microwave twice last week, beacon."

Tony flips him off on his way to Steve's bedroom. He knocks once and ignores it when Steve tells him to go away.

Steve is sitting at his desk with his back to the door and his sketchbook open in front of him. He has a pencil in his hand, but the page is untouched.

"So, uh, what's up with you?"

"Nothing."

Tony nods slowly, "Right, okay. Care to share what advice of mine went wrong exactly? Cause I gotta say I'm drawing a blank."

"I was talking to Buck."

"Oh," Tony says in relief, then he frowns. "How'd you even know he was here?"

"When isn't he here? Our fridge is always empty because of him."

Tony smiles and flops down on Steve's bed, propping himself up against the pillows with his arms folded behind his head. He pushes the back of Steve's chair with his foot, making it spin his way.

"So what did Bucky do?"

Steve looks like he's about to say, but then he bites his lip and shakes his head instead. "Really doesn't matter."

Tony looks at him for a long moment, taking in all those subtle tells of his. The slight downturn of the corners of his mouth and the crease between his brows, but they don't come with any tension in his jaw or shoulders, which means he's more disappointed than angry. His eyes never hide hurt, but there's none to be found in them. Whatever it was didn't crush him, and Tony knows just how to fix him when he's like this.

He pokes Steve's arm with his socked toes. "Hey, Steve, why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?"

Steve sighs, but there's already a hint of a smile. Further evidence to support Tony's hypothesis.

"Why, Tony?"

"In case he got a hole in one."

Steve presses his lips together and shakes his head. "That's not very funny."

"Why do bees have sticky hair?"

The look Steve gives him is long-suffering.

"Because they use honeycombs," Tony grins, and Steve relaxes back into his chair a little. "What kind of music do planets like?"

"Neptunes," Steve says, smirking a little, and Tony pouts dramatically.

"Nooo, how did you know that?"

"Used it on me two months ago. Remember when you broke the sink and you didn't want me to be mad at you anymore?"

"I also remember fixing the sink in the same day, but fine dwell on the fact that I broke it in the first place."

Steve laughs, and Tony feels the knot in his own chest loosen. He hates it when Steve's upset. It throws him off his own axis, because his world revolves around Steve's sun.

He gets up from the desk chair, and Tony shifts over to make room for him on the bed. They reach for each other's hands at the same time, interlocking fingers in the small space between them.

It's moments like these when the longing hits him the most. When Steve is this close, but it doesn't mean nearly as much to him as it does to Tony.

Sometimes he pictures what it would be like if he leaned over a little more. If Steve's eyes would flicker down to his lips, then away quickly like he didn't want to be caught. He wonders what Steve's cheek would feel like under his hand as he pulls his attention back, silently telling him it's okay to look.

It always stops there in his mind, right before a first kiss that he just knows would change his life. Guilt creeps in, because he should be happy with what he has. Happy with all of the pieces Steve lets him have now. It's more than most people will ever get.

"Thank you," Steve says. "You're the only one who can ever get me to smile after a day like today."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tony asks, tilting his head to the side to look at him.

Steve bites his lip again, staring up at the ceiling. It takes a long moment for him to talk.

"There's somebody that I like, but they don't like me back. Not like that, anyway."

Tony's heart sinks, but he tries not to let it show. "You told them and they rejected you?"

Steve shakes his head, "No, I don't need to tell them to know how they feel. But Bucky said that I should find someone else to get over them, so I asked out that girl in my art history class."

"The one with the nose ring?"

"That's the one, yeah. We went for coffee this morning."

"How was it?" Tony asks, and more guilt accompanies the fact that he's actively and selfishly hoping Steve is about to say that it was awful.

Steve shrugs, "It was fine, technically. But then she tried to kiss me, and I sort of freaked out and ruined it. She looked at me like I was insane, and, god, it was so embarrassing, but I just couldn't do it when I know that I don't actually want anything like that from her. I didn't want to lead her on. It's not fair to her."

"Not fair to you either," Tony says softly. "You shouldn't force yourself to like someone you don't. And whoever the other person is, the one that doesn't want you back, they're missing out on someone really amazing, and they're stupid to let you go."

Steve smiles, but it's tinged with sadness as he turns his head to look at Tony. "I don't know about that. They can do better than me."

"Hey, no, don't say that. You're incredible. You're funny and smart and gorgeous, and I've never met anyone as kind as you in my entire life. There isn't anyone better than you, okay? And if they don't see that, then fuck them. Clearly, they're dumb as hell anyway," Tony rants, getting progressively louder as he goes and his free hand gesturing wildly.

"They're kind of a genius, actually."

Tony rolls his eyes, "Yeah, sure they are. Way to miss the point."

Steve's smile turns amused. "No, but they really are."

"What is this?" Tony asks with narrow eyes. "Are you trying to make me jealous by saying you know other geniuses? Cause I'm the only know-it-all in your life. I claimed the spot. It's mine."

"Definitely yours," Steve agrees, and he shifts a little to turn on his side. With his left hand, he tentatively reaches up towards Tony's face, and Tony's breath catches at the brush of fingertips against his cheek. "I think I might have been wrong, though, about how they feel about me."

It takes a few seconds for it to click in Tony's, but even when it does he doesn't believe it just yet.

"Why's that?"

"Apparently they think I'm incredible, and they get really angry when anybody else thinks otherwise."

Tony smiles softly, "Yeah, they really don't like that."

Steve's thumb strokes across his cheekbone, then his fingers drift back to run through his hair.

"They think I'm funny, too, but they've also got a terrible sense of humor, so I don't know how accurate that is."

Tony laughs, then says, "You know what I think?"

"What's that?"

"I think you should kiss them. Just go for it and see what happens."

Steve smiles, slowly leaning down, "You really think so? It could make things weird. We might not be able to be friends anymore."

Tony puts his hand on the nape of Steve's neck, drawing him further in until he's a scant inch away. "Trust me, they don't really want to be just a friend, anyway."

He finds out that Steve's skin is smooth and warm beneath his palms, and his lips are unexpectedly soft. His hands are constantly in motion, slowly mapping out Tony's hips and sides and back like he's memorizing the feeling. As if it's his one chance to learn what Tony feels like he won't let it get away from him. But it won't be the only one. There will be second, third, and hundredth kisses, because Tony knows better than to let someone like Steve slip away.

"Hey, Tony?" Steve whispers after.

"Yeah?"

"What's the best thing about Switzerland?"

Tony smiles, "What?"

"I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."

They stare at each other, and Steve is the first to crack, but his laugh makes Tony follow right behind him.

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Hi! Could I get HC from the guys? 👀 How they would always react to catching the reader seeing them "badly", in addition to the fact that he usually avoids them, but with his brothers it is incredible and they feel bad because they think they do not like him.  But she actually likes them and she looks at them like that because she "studies" them to draw them and she is too clumsy and shy to talk to them, that's why she ends up avoiding them. Until finally he catches her drawing them with lots of hearts or maybe they'll find her notebook with lots of portraits of them.

It's kind of funny because when I study people to draw them, they think that I look at them with hatred xd maybe I should increase my glasses prescription

God, glasses are such a pain in the ass but I have to wear them. If I don't anyone within my near vicinity doesn't have a face. But why they gotta get dirty so easily???? Makes me wanna explode or something

TMNT Headcanons

The boys w/ a quiet reader who is fine with his brothers but acts cold around him and stares a lot

Michaelangelo

mikey couldn't describe his disappointment upon realizing that you didn't want to be friends with him

well, you never actually said that to him

but he was pretty sure it was the case

you'd never made an effort to be friends with him

stared at him an awful lot though, but there was always something off about your gaze when you looked at him

like you were sizing him up, scrutinizing him, like he was an opponent

it kinda worried him

to add to that, you didn't even attempt to look embarrassed when he caught you staring

you'd just stare harder

on your end it was quite the opposite

you always found the brothers fascinating and you LOVED studying their anatomy, you'd confessed this to Donnie early on and he happily indulged in your questions

and you loved how easily you got along with the boys

well, except for Mikey

but it wasn't for a lack of trying

whenever the orange sporting turtle came around your normally flamboyant personality crept back into its little corner and hid

any words of excitement that had previously been with you died in your throat

for the longest time you didn't understand it

and you hated not understanding things, so you turned to your only outlet

that's how you ended up with an entire sketchbook full of the youngest brother in vastly different styles and poses

you had a separate book for the others, none of them as detailed as this

and when you stared to analyze you'd fallen into a habit of not looking away when caught

by your logic, if you stared back hard enough he'd look away first or just assume you'd zoned out

he didn't

and on one hectic day you'd left your sketchbook open on the kitchen table in your rush to get to work

you hadn't even noticed the slip up until Leo texted you to let you know during your shift

instant panic

in truth, Mikey was the one who discovered the book upon waking up from his nap and he'd spent the next three hours analyzing every drawing

when you finally dropped in after work to grab your book the turtle was waiting for you with it in hand

he'd asked you if you hated him

you told him no and accepted your sketchbook from him

he was relieved and screaming excitedly, just in his head

"Do you maybe wanna hang out sometime?"

You sighed in relief and nodded

"If you're cool with it- you don't think I'm weird do you?"

"I mean- you are talking to a turtle..."

you lightly shoved his chest and smiled, although it faded within a second

"Oh hush, 10 o'clock tomorrow? I'll bring snacks."

he was so stunned he could only shoot you finger guns in approval

Donatello

Donnie genuinely couldn't understand your unease around him

he'd followed all the proper expectations of holding a conversation

he was polite and engaging

so why wouldn't you talk to him?

this boy has read so many social blogs to try and figure out what he was doing wrong and he just couldn't put his finger on it

you were fine with the rest of his brothers, you'd stay up for hours laughing and gaming with them

you'd even sat still long enough to listen to Leo explain some old Japanese myth that he'd read about in a book

but with him it was always a quick, cordial greetings and farewells with bland small talk in between

Donnie had picked up pretty quickly that you weren't interested in any sort of interaction with him

and he convinced himself that that was okay

but that didn't explain the staring

he'd caught you in the act several times, eyes narrowed and locked on him

especially when you were alone with him in a room or just in the lair

the poor turtle just couldn't put his finger on it

then he caught you drawing, he noticed early on that you always carried a small sketchbook on your person but he didn't think much of it

and it wasn't so much that he caught you drawing, in fact, he wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't snapped at him while he was trying to do a sudoku puzzle

"Damn it Donnie! Stop moving! If I fuck this arm up one more time I'm gonna decompose!"

he'd quickly moved back into the position he was in prior

"sorry?"

but you'd gone silent again, occasionally glancing up from your work and running your eyes along his frame before looking down again

nearly twenty minutes later Donnie had finished the puzzle and it seemed as though you had finished your drawing

"Uh- can I ask what are you-"

"I'm drawing you but you kept moving your arm and making me mess up. You always do that when I draw you so every damn picture I have of you stays a sketch because you always come out looking like a fucking octopus."

He just stared

"Sorry, I uh- I didn't mean to explode on you like that. I'm just- I'm really bad at talking to you okay? It's so easy with everyone else but you've just gotta be so damn smart all the time and I worry that you'll think I'm boring so I just... don't talk to you?"

Donnie is stunned™

You refuse to show him the drawing until you can complete the line art and color it

But at least he knows that you don't hate him

Leonardo

To be completely honest Leo didn't mind that you were distant from him

You created an aura of calm when you were around and you always managed to distract his brothers while you were present

And he enjoyed the alone time

But after a few months that calm acceptance turned into jealousy

Not that he would ever admit it

He would just push it off and ignore it, that usually seemed to work

So why wasn't it?

And your obvious staring problem didn't help at all

Leo didn't spend much time considering his appearance but something about your gaze made him self conscious

And he hated that with a passion

Why was it that you could hold entire debates with his siblings? Even his dad for gods sake. You'd have hour long conversations on almost everything but whenever he tried to say hello you'd make up some lame ass excuse and scamper away

He just wanted an explanation

It appeared that the answer resided in your sketchbook

You'd left it open on the couch when Raph had called you away to spar with him

Leo very delicately flipped through the pages, careful not to disturb some of the polaroid pictures of his brothers

He was admittedly surprised to find pictures of himself among the pages

One of him in a handstand, another of him meditating, there was even one of him mid sneeze that you'd recreated with pencil and paper

The image of his eyes was the most startling, but the book held no polaroid of his eyes

You drew them from memory

And he was shocked when you returned to the room and didn't immediately panic

But that might have been because he didn't try to withhold your book from you

"It took me three months to color them, your eyes. I could never get the shade of blue just right."

"I'm gonna be honest with you y/n, I really thought you didn't like me."

You had the nerve to roll your eyes and follow it with a laugh

"I don't. I mean- I do but no, you just remind me a lot of myself and I haven't exactly figured out why yet. I thought that maybe if I drew you it'd be easier to figure you out..."

"Well did it help?"

You grinned

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?"

Raphael

If there was one thing Raph hated it was not understanding something that was right in front of him

which is ironic, as a much younger version of himself probably couldn't care less

and a part of him wishes he didn't care about it so much

he wishes that your blatant avoidance of him didn't upset him

but shit, it got under his skin better than any needle ever could

was it too much to ask for you to just tell him what he said or did wrong?

was he asking too much of you?

but on the same scale you'd never shown obvious dislike towards him, you were never rude and you sure as hell didn't talk shit about him to his brothers

you got along great with them

in fact it was getting more difficult to remember a time before you became a part of his family

he'd become so used to your presence that it no longer put him off when he found you hanging around the lair

but in another sense he was certain that you hadn't spoken more than three sentences to him in your time knowing him or his family

so what was the reason

several months in he finally caught onto the staring, your narrow, glassy gaze locked onto his body and refusing to look away

he stared right back at you

this annoyed you for several reasons

because within five seconds your very peaceful drawing session had turned into a staring contest and your eyes were getting VERY dry

then you exhaled in a half-sigh and looked back down at your paper

"Huh, I guess your head is more of an oblong shape..."

he took offense to this

"What tha' hell is that supposed t'mean?"

now your eyes held more of an amused silent judgement, you begrudgingly held up your sketchbook

"I'm drawing you, you fucking walnut."

"Oh..."

now you rolled you eyes and tossed the book to him, he nearly dropped it and fumbled with the pages

your annoyance was quickly growing

"Careful with that."

He flipped through the pages at a snails pace, assumingly because he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing

you had some real talent

when he looked back up at you he was wearing that crooked smile

"and here I was thinkin' that my eyes were just green."

Hope I was able to get this down pretty well! I really enjoyed writing this one! Thanks for the patience!

-Mars 🌠

[lex-n-weegie]

HEY YOU 4

YEAH, @nerdstreak, @candyheartedchy, @magicalselfshipping, and @queenieboo22

MERRY HECKING CHRISTMAS!!!!

Surprise!!! I thought I'd make a special little Christmas gift for you 4!! It took me about 6 hours total, I really hope you like it!!

And ofc, here's everyone separately!!

I would have drawn more people, but unfortunately I only got the idea to do this yesterday and this drawing alone took me so long 😭

I refuse to leave them unthanked however!! So, special thanks to @ava-ships, @spooky-toastsnew, @jelly-buttons, @widowsdarling, @sapient-nes, and of course all of my followers, just for being here and being inspiring to me.

I actually wanted to do little special messages for you guys, but I'ma do that under the cut because it's gonna get loooong haha

Nerdstreak

About the drawing: I decided to draw Hannah working on DEL!! Right now she's trying to make sure it looks all good before seeing how the face projection goes. And yes, the background is a moon with a light blue hue. Gotta include your husband in it somehow!! I do hope that the glasses don't look off, I've never drawn glasses like them before haha.

About you: Gosh, where do I even begin? You've been so so SO inspiring to me during the whole time I've known you!! You got me into selfshipping, you've recently(ish) helped me finish a while story, something I've NEVER done before, and you've helped me with countless drawings and even a few s/i designs! Not to mention that you've been a great friend, and helped me with a situation I was puzzled with. You truly are amazing and inspiring, don't forget that!! I'm really happy we're friends, it makes me feel better about myself. I was so shy talking to others, but now I'm friends with so many of the folks I look up to. Little me would be so happy :)

Candyheartedchy

About the drawing: I was thinking about doing your bug bunny s/i, or your Scratch s/i, hell I even considered your new Mario s/i (as I am hyperfixated on the franchise lol), but in the end I went with the one who you seemed to be thinking about a lot rn. And btw, I love her design so much!! It's so simple yet so eye catching. I decided to do a small little callback to a small story you wrote with her and Fethery(def spelled his name wrong), a story of how they first met. She's sitting on the beach with an easel, trying to think of what she wants to paint. I also specifically 1. Put 2 seagulls in the back to represent the couple :) and 2. Put the clouds around her head, as if she's got her head in the clouds. I also remembered that pink is your favorite color, soooo pink beach! Also I hope the eyes are okay, I somewhat struggled 😭

About you: Okay so. Hi. You barely know me haha, but I've been seeing your art for a long time thanks to people reblogging it. Took me a bit to follow, but man was it worth it. Your art is just...so, SO pretty and beautiful!! It makes me feel all soft and relaxed, not to mention me awwing or laughing when you draw your selfships!! (I mean laughing as in you doing something funny, not me like thinking your selfship is funny- you get what I mean right???) I aspire to be similar to you some day!! Especially in the drawing comics area, each time I try I can only get to page 2 😔

Magicalselfshipping

About the drawing: I soooorta tried to so a special spin with the hair, which I hope is okay!! I wanted it to be spikey but soft at the same time, representing that while she lives in a villain castle, she's actually pretty kind. Also I AM SO SORRY I FORGOT THE EYEBROWS BUT IT'S WAY TOO LATE FOR ME TO ADD THEM NOW AND LIKE AAAAAA. Also, I believe that once you said that Kamek taught you magic, so I figured that yours would end up looking similar to his!! I also designed the background with him in mind, doing his little magic pattern and coloring it blue and a (almost) white, but like his robes and hat!

About you: Okay so 1. Mario Selfshipper hell freaking yeah 2. I was actually a little...rude at first I guess. I saw what you identified as, and I was admittedly sceptical. But I put some thought into it, looked at that one ask you answered, and looked it up. You kinda helped me be even more open minded, and for that, I thank you. Also, I never even thought of someone selfshipping with a blue little wizard, but seeing yours with him is so cute!! Especially since you've loved him for a long, long time, like me and Weegee!! I also enjoy your art, it's unique and I enjoy seeing it!!

Queenieboo22

About the drawing: I def wanted the spooky Queen to have a spooky vibe, so I made her as spooky as I could without it being full out horror. The hair curls may look odd, and I'm sorry about that, but I was trying my best to make them look like the Dark Moon from Luigi's Mansion 2, just in hair form!! I also made the shadow part of the background a slight blue, for your king ofc. And you know I HAD to add some boos!! I did put a bit more white in the middle however, as I have the small hc that Boos softly glow when in the dark, like a night light!!

About you: Oh my GOD your art is so freaking good!!!! Like holy crap!!!! You can make such super complicated designs and just, draw them over and over, perfectly!!! It's so insane and awesome!!! I still treasure that b-day gift you made me it's so goooooood. Also, you're just so sweet!! Like, super duper sweet!! You're so kind and caring and welcoming, it's awesome!! Also, anyone who loves spooky/creepy things is automatically like 100% cooler. You also inspire me with my art and s/is, hell my newest FNAF SB s/i, Evelyn, was somewhat inspired by your FNAF s/i! Your s/is are so unique, yet they fit in perfectly in any universe you put them in. I wanna be more like that myself!! Also, I'm happy we're friends, I still look up to you a lot and it's still so cool to me that I'm friends with people I look up to.

[re-ikrmso]

 DAMNN. THIS SHIT LATE LATE THE LORE HAS BEEN OUT FOR LIKE MONTHS //sob//  but damn. IF IT AIN’T PURPLED AND PUNZ! he really is dream’s right hand man...claiming about how awful torture is one moment and then turning  around to “WOULDNT IT BE FUN THO>>> TO TORTURE QUACKITY???” LIKE DAMNNNN. also, all of those lines in black are taken directly from the last nevadas final lore stream! damnn i loved watching the two mercenaries start each other down like two rabid dogs. my god though punz...

but yea smh it was really hard to get designs down espiaclly for ARMOR OGHGH. I will talk about deisgn.  mostly. So after my revalation that there netherite armor doesnt actually have gauntlets, i said fuck that and decided that only certain people have gauntlets (people adept at fighting, or the richer members of the server). and also, see those different helments and details with armor! i’ve decided that every armor set someone wears is actually slightly different from the other!  also if you pay attention dream’s claws/gauntlets are like. unpractical to high hell? idk if thats should leave any implications or if i should just keep it as “omg cool design” but if i were to attach anything behind it, then c!dream is a fucking freak and enjoys the challenge. also he thinks it looks cool on him. other people would have a  lot more practical gaunlets/gloves though. maybe.

More on c!punz’s art, i don’t think it realy matches him but i already drew the expressions. i could imagine  his expressions to be ones that c!dream would make so its a happy coincidence in a way. i kinda wanted punz to look unhinged to a degree though considering how ‘heated’ up he was getting over c!dream being tortured. also i made his helment pointer to try and imitate horns but its kinda meh. i kept his little medal thing on the outside (cause damn it looked so plain otherwise) and helped to kinda identify him.

For c!purpled i really reallly wanted to draw his hair out (sorry punz, maybe another time) and his little suit! though with his apprehension //forgive me if im wrong i dont watch a lot of purpled/punz lore// i believed that purpled initally thought punz was hired by quackity to kill him. and with his little suit its all crinkly and wirnkled and the tie is becoming looser and hes just. disheveled. but hes still a fucking mercenary i gotta give him that respect. Also, with the purpled alien headcanon, i was like eh. but it was also kinda cool so i was like “wow what if the alien stuff wasn’t like. that obivous” so i put his antenas onto like the back fo his head (he has like 4 in total, 2 short farther up and w longer farther down) but i didnt want to draw all the antennas cause it would look awkward.also, you know those black “bags” under his eyes? those aren’t bags. the dark grey under his eyes are the bags. HELL YEA. I was looking at purpled’s avatar and i was like haha what if those black marks above is eyes were like actually part of his skin. and so here we are. //put them under his eyes instead cuase it looked better.// im also planning to make purpled’s eyes like. different and im planning to make it stick. art consistecy isnt my forte but im gonna keep purpled’s eyes in that shape and that color

Also wow, anime eyes! kinda. i just wanted to fill up the empty space and i was like “wow purpled has nice eyes its unfair that punz gets nothing” so here we are. when looking at punz’s pfp i noticed his like...eyelashes were thick so imma keep em thick. the man fuckign applies mascara or eyeliner or soemthing. also kinda cool contrast. 

[silima]

Hey man I wanted to ask, i am beginner artist and I feel kinda discouraged because i have a smaller acc than I lot of artists, how do you feel like encouraged to draw more stuff about your fandom?(i really love your art and is so inspiring!)

thank u!! first of all, it's awesome that you've decided to start putting yourself out there!! i think motivation can be one of the hardest things to deal with when it comes to making art, & sometimes it feels like u either have it or u don't. but i think it's definitely possible to improve in some ways!

i think the most important rule of trying to motivate urself is, when motivation/inspiration hits you, DON’T WASTE IT. if you think to yourself, “hmm, it would be fun to draw right now… but it would be easier to keep scrolling on my phone” do your best to actually go draw!! i’m not gonna tell u to skip, like, ur homework for art (although i totally do that) bcz u should do ur homework. but when the urge hits u, don’t let it go!! u gotta ride that wave as far as it’ll take you.

obviously sometimes motivation will hit you at times when you’re in a situation where you totally can’t sit down and draw. like it’s 3am and you really should’ve been sleeping 5 hours ago, but u just got a super cool idea for a drawing or a comic or something. if that happens, i’m not saying to actually sit down & draw right then, but you absolutely should write your idea down while the idea is still fresh!! it’s easy to forget small things or even the whole idea if you wait for later. plus, when you revisit what you've written down, you might find yourself having ideas of how you could make it even better.

one thing that’s kind of unfortunate about making art is that, yeah, external motivation is a big part of motivating yourself to make art (at least it is for me). BUT you definitely don’t need to have thousands of followers to get nice feedback on your art. i mean, you could just show it to an irl friend who likes the show/book/etc that you’re drawing for too. hell, you could show it to ur mom

but to put yourself out there online, uhh my advice is to

make art that’s interesting in some way. (character interactions are often more interesting to ppl than solo character art, for one; uhh, comics are super super super fun although i personally felt intimidated by them at first; in general, trying to give ur audience some kind of emotional response to ur art--whether it's "aw so cute" or funny or angsty--is good.)

participate in fandom events (like ship weeks, big bangs, etc). at the very least, ur art gets reblogged to a bigger blog that can get you some exposure. and you might make some friends!

try to connect w/ other content creators—go compliment cool art! send nice asks! make gift art for fanfics u really like!

look for some fandom discords with nice ppl

post ur stuff on multiple social medias

i personally spent like 3 years on tumblr just kinda tossing my art into the void before i actually started gaining a significant amount of followers lol so i’m not exactly a social media guru but i think those are some good places to start.

also, NEVER BE DISCOURAGED BY UR OWN ART!!!!! sometimes it happens when you'll look at ur art and be like "holy bejeezus i suck at art" and like, it's inevitable that it happens occasionally, but u gotta avoid that as much as u possibly can. practice positive self-talk--be like "aw fuck yeah i love how i drew that hair" or smth to yourself. bad self-esteem will kill your motivation & your fun.

(it's worth keeping in mind that oftentimes, if u feel like ur art is "getting worse," that's literally just your eye for art developing and learning to recognize flaws that you're about to fix--a good sign, not a bad one. your hands will catch up to your eyes in time.)

oh and DONT be afraid of posting little sketches or unfinished doodles that arent that fancy...... thats something i struggle with lol i always feel like "if my art isnt perfectly cleaned up and shaded then whats the point :(" but whenever i see someone else's cute little sketch on my dash im always like omg thats so cool. doing this is also good because if you don't feel obligated to put tons and tons of effort into each piece, you'll have an easier time creating lots of art which ultimately helps u improve way faster

lastly i uhhh really strongly recommend against doing that thing that some beginner artists do where you're feeling insecure about your art and, in anticipation that people will hate it, you say something like "haha yeah i know it sucks" in the caption/tags to sort of insulate yourself from criticism. cuz like, most ppl are not little loser bitches who go around insulting random ppl's art, and besides if you do encounter people like that, u can just block em. more importantly, a lot of people do find such captions kind of off-putting/guilt-trippy, so it's bad for growing ur audience, and it's also harmful to you as well, because you're verbalizing your insecurities (& thus intensifying them). just own it. you don't need to apologize for "imperfect" art. it happens, & it's totally okay.