#aviator hack

[one-cric]

Aviator Hack: Unveil the Winning Secrets

Welcome, fellow aviators! Whether you’re a seasoned pilot or a rookie taking your first flight, hacking the Aviator game can be your ticket to sky-high success. Let’s dive in!

Before we hack our way to victory, let’s grasp the basics of Aviator:

Aviator Game Objective: Aviator challenges you to predict the movement of planes across a grid. Your goal? Bet on the correct path and multiply your winnings.

Predictive Tools

GitHub Repositories

Aviator Predictor Hack

Betway Aviator Predictor

Aviator Predictor by ShadowAPI

Aviator Predictor by Mixuler

Aviator Predictor App

Observing Patterns

Plane Paths: Analyze historical plane paths. Are there recurring patterns? Use this knowledge to make informed bets.

Stay Updated

Engage with other Aviator enthusiasts in GitHub forum. Share insights, discuss strategies, and learn from each other.

Remember, hacking Aviator isn’t about cheating—it’s about outsmarting the game. So, spread your wings, embrace the challenge, and soar to victory!

[edenilsonmds]

HACKER AVIATOR ((É GOLPE?)) HACKER AVIATOR FUNCIONA? HACKER AVIATOR VALE A PENA?

HACKER AVIATOR ((É GOLPE?)) HACKER AVIATOR FUNCIONA? HACKER AVIATOR VALE A PENA?

Fala Pessoal Tudo Bem? Nesse vídeo de hoje eu vim passar informações importantes sobre o Hacker Aviator devido ao fato de muitas pessoas terem duvidas se o Hacker Aviator Funciona ou se vale a pena realmente. Hacker Aviator O Hacker aviator é um algoritmo desenvolvido para encontrar brechas em sites de aposta fazendo com que seus usuários lucrem muito todos os dias, a Plataforma do hacker Aviator vai te ajudar a encontrar as melhores entradas e saídas quando você estiver apostando em sites de jogos aviador , milhares de pessoas estão utilizando. Hacker Aviator Funciona ? Sim o Hacker Aviator Funciona, Milhares de pessoas estão tendo resultados possitivos com ele e lucrando muito apostando nas plataformas de Jogos Aviator, por conta disso ele é muito vendido e procurado e suas vagas são limitadas, milhares de usuários estão fazendo comentários possitivos sobre o Hacker Aviator. Hacker Aviator Paga Mesmo ? Sim o Hacker Aviator Paga Mesmo, milhares de pessoas estão utilizando e relatando seus saques, por isso o Hacker Aviator é considerado um sistema muito confiável, além disso ao compra-lo você vai ter 7 dias de garantia para testa-lo e ver de vale a pena. Hacker Aviator Onde Comprar ? O Hacker Aviator pode ser comprado apenas em seu site oficial, sua venda esta terminantemente proibida em sites que não sejam o oficial, pelo fato de muitos farsantes estarem aproveitando a fama do Hacker Aviator Para Alpicar golpes enganar pessoas por isso compre em seu site oficial pra que você não corra o risco de Cair em golpes. #hackeraviatorfunciona #hackeraviator HACKER AVIATOR ((É GOLPE?)) HACKER AVIATOR FUNCIONA? HACKER AVIATOR VALE A PENA? HACKER AVIATOR ((É GOLPE?)) HACKER AVIATOR FUNCIONA? HACKER AVIATOR VALE A PENA? HACKER AVIATOR ((É GOLPE?)) HACKER AVIATOR FUNCIONA? HACKER AVIATOR VALE A PENA? Tags: hacker aviator,hacker aviator estrela bet,hacker aviator funciona,hacker aviator betano,aviator hacker,hacker aviator é bom,hacker aviator funciona mesmo,hacker aviator estrela bet funciona,hacker aviator 2022,hacke aviator,hack aviator,aviator,aviator estrela bet,robo aviator,robô aviator,hack aviator estrela bet funciona,bot aviator,hack aviator estrela bet,hack aviator funciona,aviator hack,aviator betano,hack aviator estrela bet gratis

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

I’m back on my bullshit.

Anyways! Some fun ship names I came up with!

Medic/Sniper: bed pan

Medic/engineer: goggles and glasses

Sniper/soldier: sniper rocket, also, bullseye, bullsboom, boomseye

I can do this all day

[fgdhg12312]

aviator-download.com

[daman-games1]

free 600 INR bonus

[flor4de4amor]

may we please PLEASE PLEASE please get more aviator!abby???? she’s so yummy & i need her so bad..

welll if you wannttttt ofcccc!! this is totallyyy not based off of today’s events. if only i had abby around </3

click for palestine | don’t buy tlou | read b4 engaging

the toilet is broken and it's been ruining your fucking day. the stupid handle is too loose and you're determined to fix it yourself. it's far too embarrassing to ask the other wives on base to use their toilet. word spreads far too fast. everyone's gonna think abby doesn't care for you. and that is far from true! she cares about you so much, you think you're gonna suffocate in her love.

which is part of the reason you wanna fix this stupid waste of space in your bathroom. abby takes care of you everyday, and she works hard and long all day. it wouldn't be fair for her to come home to a broken toilet. (sometimes she sits there doing buisness, while playing wordle, and keeping conversation with you as you shower. you'd hate to break routine.) but you've been knelt over twisting screws, fiddling with pliers, and banging your head against the wall for the past few hours. for a matter of fact, youtube is not helpful! in fact, when abby gets home, you're informing her of a the anderson housewide youtube ban. stupid fucking site. waste of space on the web. killed away at your day with useless hacks anyway.

you're so caught up on cursing at the tablet, your cat pawing at your toes, the stupid fucking toilet, and don't forget swearing the wind, that you don't hear abby's heavy footsteps. you normally greet her at the door with plenty of love. whenever you're not waiting for her, it normally means trouble. means that she better make your stiff couch, real comfortable tonight. and no, she cannot steal any souvenirs from your normally shared bed. she must make do with some throw pillows and a teensy tiny blanket.

you think that you've almost got the issue sorted out when she catches you redhanded. her arms snake around your waist from behind causing you to drop your tools and squeal. your cat screeching at the commotion. abby clicks her tongue at the grey streaked animal. bane of her existence. you thrash in her arms for a minute, until she kisses your cheeks and you're able to inhale her scent. "relax pretty, it's just me."

you huff, and turn around facing her sweet face. "you're an asshole." you don't mean it. but, she's just made you almost shit your pants while your toilet is totally broken. fair reaction, if you may say so yourself.

"you don't mean that," she smiles. her thumb goes to wipe sweat off your forehead. "what's going on here that you're wielding serious machinery?" she eyes the discarded plier and screwdriver.

you slide up to the sink, settling your spine against the cool faucet. your cat following in suite, jumping up into your lap, effortlessly. you coax, him, in your laps, scratching behind his ears, while speaking to your wife. "toilet's fucking broken." you groan, "i've spent all day trying to fix it." abby eyes the loud video playing in the counter of the bathroom corner. she goes to shut off the tablet, sensing your agitation.

"why didn't you call me? or a plumber?" her hands rub your thighs gently, trying to soothe you.

"despite what the haters say," you laugh softly to yourself, "i can do things."

she looks you up and down with a look of doubt in her eye, "i know you can." she plants a sweet kiss on your lips to reassure you before planting the real stuff. she pulls away stroking your cheek, "just not this type of stuff."

you roll your eyes and scoff. "ok well, a girl can try."

she smiles, "yeah lets, not anymore." she smiles and leans away slightly, eyeing the damage you've done to the commode. you pinch her bicep for her sly comment. she grunt in a pained response. her hands grip your wrist, not too tight, she'd never hurt you. "listen here girly," she threatens emptily, before releasing your wrist. her fingers tickle at your sides with carefree joy.

"is it fixable?" you ask. you feel awful.

that cocky smile of hers finds its way to her dopey face. "for the average joe? meh," she shrugs her shoulders. "for me?" she boasts, "definitely fixable, pretty. don't worry." she plants another kiss on you. when she pulls away, abby wipes her hands on the sides of her uniform khakis. she kneels to the base of the toilet, and assess the damage closer. "i think i found the problem baby."

"what is it?" you stroke the feline in your lap.

"you've been using all the wrong tools hon," she remarks offhanded while digging around blindly for her toolbar that's got her initials monogrammed onto the front.

"you're a tool," you say under your breathe.

"heard that!" abby says from down below. she chuckles softly, but doesn't let you hear.

"love you baby!" you reply back, a smile fixed to your lips.

"suck it, anderson," she grunts back while tightening a bolt or something. whatever the hell she was doing down there.

"maybe later," you laugh sweetly.

"sounds good to me," abby replies rather quick.

"shut up and fix the toilet anderson!" you say in a fit of giggles.

"yes ma'am," your cornball of a wife replies, while making a complicated task look easy. she's impossible to hate, and so easy to love.

[ohtobeleah]

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter One: [The Diagnosis]

Summary: The last thing you ever expected was to be diagnosed with breast cancer. To make matters worse? You’d been separated from the love of your life for just shy of a year. How do you tell the love of your life you might be dying? It’s simple really— You don’t.

Warnings: Mentions of Cancer Diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Separation. Marriage issues. Mentions of death.

Word Count: 2.1k

Author Note: I've put so much love, passion and time into this series. I'd love to hear all your theories and concepts as each chapter is released.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

December 31st 

Jake Seresin tried his best to hide the wet tears that fell down his cheeks as he sat with his kids on the lounge of the home that he had tried his best to keep as tidy as he could. There was a lot of uncertainty, a lot of frustration, a lot of fear and unbelievable sadness that surrounded Jake and your three small children. The unknown was truly tragic, terrifying and treacherous, but Jake wasn’t about to let his kids see the way he so desperately wanted to cry. He didn't want his kids to know how truly broken he was. 

“What did mum get you for Christmas daddy?” Little Lenny asked cautiously, knowing the emotions were still raw for them all. He was just six years old but Lennox Seresin knew his life had changed forever. That something had been ripped from his heart never to be returned. 

Jake held the small present in the palm of his hand, the present he had yet to open. The present he wasn’t sure he wanted to. It felt like something he’d held before, the weight felt all too familiar. It haunted him the more he carried it around, held it in the palm of his hand and contemplated the inevitable. 

“I dunno buddy, you reckon I should open it?” Jake asked as he kissed his son's head. “S’not Christmas anymore.” The Naval Aviator had recently shaved his head, it had been the closest to a number one he’d ever had. It was in solidarity, union. A decision he made in the blink of an eye but one he did not regent or ever would. 

“We haven’t taken the tree down yet.” Lucy added her two cents into the conversation as she laid her head on her father’s thigh. “Mum would be upset if you didn’t open it dad.” Jake knew that much was true, you probably would be pretty bent out of shape if he never opened it. 

“Alright, I better open it then huh?” Jake shook the small perfectly wrapped box he could hold in the palm of his hand. He heard what sounded like a rock rattle inside. His heart nearly exploded inside his chest. 

Fuck….Jake knew what it was and he really didn’t want to open it. 

But before we get to that we need to go back a little. So settle in, grab your tissues and emotional support water bottle and hold on for dear life. Because this Christmas isn’t your average festive Christmas fic: No—this one’s something much more heartbreaking. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~

November: 2nd 

“I need you to take the kids for Christmas—“ It was the first thing Jake heard come through the phone as he held it up to his ear. It had been a few days since he’d last heard from you, not that you owed him daily check ins or regular updates, you owed him nothing, after all the two of you had been separated for just shy of a year now. January had been the start of his new beginning, Lieutenants Jake Hangman, soon to be divorced, couldn’t hack it as a husband, Seresin. The title was pretty long winded and riddled with self pity, but Jake wouldn’t ever let himself forget how much he’d let you down as a husband. As a father, as best friend. 

The two of you had been college lovers. The star crossed kind of lovers with Jake being the very definition of Mr Popularity and yourself being the well mannered and reserved library dweller. You’d only stumbled across each other's paths one day in the unlikely event that Jake needed to borrow an actual hard copy of a Douglas A Howard book on the Ottoman Empire. 

He ran right into you—and to this day had never stopped loving you. His Honey. 

“Are we not splitting it between my family and yours like we said?” Jake frowned as he stepped out of his truck in the car park on base. You could hear the familiar jingle of his car keys as he shut the door of that black F150 he loved so much behind himself. 

Your contact remained unchanged, it was simply Honeybee. That term of endearment that illuminated his entire phone screen never boded very well in Jake's favour when it came to his meaningless conquests. Hard Deck Badge Bunnies were a dime a dozen, but they were never you. Never the woman he longed for the most. Never the woman Jake let down more than enough times to count on two hands. 

They were never you, because you left him January seventh at approximately four thirty in the afternoon. Jake would never forget that moment, that unimaginable heartbreak of finally coming to the gut wrenching conclusion that you had a limit. Hearing your voice through the phone as he pulled into work made him remember that you were across the country with his three kids in tow. You weren’t his anymore, he’d loved and lost you and didn’t know how to fix what he’d broken. 

“I thought we were gonna—“ 

There wasn’t an easy way to explain to your ex husband how you were sitting in the doctor's office as you spoke to him looking at your last mammogram results. Aggressive Breast Cancer, Stage three A, triple positive grade three invasive doctoral carcinoma. Merry fucking Christmas. So, you interrupted him with a quick explanation, one so out of character and born out of pure panic to keep your newfound diagnosis of stage three breast cancer that needed to be treated as soon as possible before it could progress. 

“I’ve been invited on a friend's trip, we’re going—“ Jake pretends not to hear the slight pause you took in your explanation, he decided it was because you feel guilty for dumping the kids on him like this. He knows you're not a bad mum, that’s why the kids he loves so dearly and with all his heart spend more time with you in Rhode Island than they do with him in North Island. “To Banff, yeah they booked a few rooms in the Sunshine Village but it’s a no kids trip.” 

“You deserve it.” Jake doesn’t want to argue, it’s what ruined your marriage to begin with. The constant arguing back and forth over everything under the sun. But what Jake knew now that he didn’t back then was that over ninety percent of the time those arguments started because you were just begging him to love you the way you deserved. He’d never put you first a day in your marriage even though you’d selflessly followed him across the country to whatever posting, away from your family and friends, birthed his children, twins with heads just as big as his. You gave him love and support and thought he’d do the same in return. 

But the reciprocal love in the form of equality never came no matter how long you waited or gave Jake, the love of your life, your best friend, the father of your children, the benefit of the doubt. It was you who cooked and cleaned and took care of the kids. It was you who stayed home night after night wondering when Jake would be home. It was you who stayed up riddled with anxiety that his last mission would be just that. It was you who heard the rumours about your husband in every city or small town you moved to. That he was a lady killer, a smooth talking guy with a cock sure attitude. He was the prize at the end of any lucky ladies night. 

Except for you. But you never questioned your husband’s loyalty, never once asked or believed what everyone told you. That’s just who Jake was—a charismatic man with a heart of gold that was often overlooked. He was the best of the best and he’d stop at nothing to get where he wanted to go, to the very top. If Jake Seresin had to move a mountain to achieve his dream of becoming Commander of the Pacific Fleet then he was going to move that mountain. It was one of the reasons you’d fallen in love with his very closested dorky self. 

You just never expected him to drop that very mountain on top of you and bury you alive under the pressure of keeping three beautiful kids alive, working, making sure there was food on the table for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The endless hours of housework that went unnoticed or the constant stress of being the default parent while deployments passed and new assignments came around. 

Love sometimes isn’t enough, and Jake, despite the endless love you had for the man who made you a mother and a wife, wasn’t enough. He didn’t love you the way you loved him. Endlessly and without hesitation. Jake had always been your number one priority along with your kids, but you weren’t even on his list. 

Jake knew he messed up when you told him you were leaving, he begged you not to, begged you on his knees to stay, that’s he’d change for you, be a better man for you and the kids. That he would do better, be better, be the man you fell in love with. But it was too late. 

He wished he’d listened to you all the times that you had begged him to, so now? He didn’t want to argue, not with the woman he loved so dearly and missed so badly. 

“I’ll take the kids, no problem, just tell me when I need to be at the airport and I’ll meet you guys there.” 

You’d expected a fight, some sort of push back or argument to come from the other end of the phone call as you sat in your doctor's office with eyes trained heavily on your mammogram. But it never came and that made you sure that your ex husband had well and truly fallen out of love with you the way you wished you could with him. At least he cared enough before to argue, now? It was just passive stupidity. 

“Okay, will do.” You pressed your lips together in an effort to not blurt out that you had asked your doctor if you were going to die and she had told you that she couldn’t answer that. In your mind that was a yes, yes you were dying and you felt like you couldn’t tell the one man you’d ever loved that you were taking that one way ticket to the place he’d once told you he wished you’d go in one of your long winded arguments. Hell. “I’ll uh—I’ll get the kids organised and explain what’s going on and I’ll text you all the information, sound good?” 

“Sounds like a plan, Honeybee.” Jake had yet to kick that old habit. He cringed as the terms of endearment left his mouth and stilled in his tracks. “All good on my end.” His attempt to stumble awkwardly through his mistaken term of endearment didn’t go unnoticed by you in the slightest bit. Your stomach filled with butterflies at the terms that had slipped past your ex husband's lips on the other end of the line. 

You missed him, you missed what the two of you used to be before things got so complicated. You missed the gentle nature of Jake's charisma before he fell so deep into the persona he played up for his colleagues and country. The Hangman. Always leaving people hanging, including his wife. 

Jake was just and always would be simply Jake Seresin to you. Your now ex husband but still and forever the love of your life. 

“Okay, I’ll talk to you soon, bye Jake, have a good day.” You hung up before your tears could spill from your lower lash line and left out a heavy sigh. As you closed your eyes and imagined what it would be like to be held in this moment by the man who promised he’d be there for you in sickness and in health, you reminded yourself why you left. You weren’t good enough for him to love you the way you deserved. How could you expect him to love you now when he couldnt even fix a fucking faucet when you asked? 

“Okay, so what’s the next step?” Your doctor just looked at you with sympathetic eyes that told you this wasn’t going to be easy. She took a deep breath and handed you a treatment plan that was in her opinion, the best case scenario for your specific type of cancer.

“You fight for your family, Mrs Seresin.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Tags: @blindedbythelightt @starset21@tayl0rhuynh @mamachasesmayhem @marvelogic @itsmytimetoodream @maverick-wingman @kodzukenmaaa @eternalsams @seitmai @nota-professional @jessicab1991 @hardballoonlove @senawashere @lafrone @fanficfandomlove @withahappyrefrain @dizzybee03 @maisie-rebloging-blog @goldenseresinretriever @a-reader-and-a-writer

[conchcronch]

I Feel Like You’re Gonna’ Regret Askin’ That, Princess

Johnny Silverhand x Fem V

Johnny is left high and dry after his drive-in movie date with Rogue. Once V gets control over her body back, all she can feel is the frustration Johnny is left with. So she offers him her assistance.

*cross posted on AO3*

NSFW below cut

I hated coming out of the trance-like state I was forced into whenever Johnny had my body. I rubbed my eyes a few times before zipping up my jacket as a cool breeze blew through the abandoned drive in. The movie I had put on for the two had finished, leaving us in a dark lot filled with rusted metal and a few trees peppering the lot. I looked around, my eyes landing on Johnny sitting on the hood of one of the cars, he was uncharacteristically quiet. I felt unsettled, and fidgety, as though my skin felt too tight for my body. I walked over to the car he was perched on and leaned against the hood. “Rogue leave?”

“Do you see her anywhere?” His voice was heavier than usual, and dripped in sarcasm.

“Guess she not a post sex cuddler?” I smiled, hoping that would get something outta’ him.

“Didn’t fuck” He was stoic, there was a cigarette between his metal fingers but it wasn’t lit and it seemed he had no intentions of doing anything with it.

“What happened?”

“What the fuck do you think happened! I know you’re not some gonk so put two and two together and figure out what the hell happened.”

“Johnny you’re gonna’ have to give me more than that.” I looked over my shoulder at him.

“Got rejected.” My eyebrows raised but I knew he wasn’t looking at me to see it. Who in their right mind would reject Johnny?

“That really blows choom, anything I can do to help?” As the offer left my lips I could feel myself start to get wet, and I knew he could feel it too. I watched as his flesh hand came up to rub his neck and then pull his aviators down his nose so he was looking over the red lenses at me.

“Don’t know, what’re you offering?” There was a hint of a smirk playing across his lip before I looked away in an attempt to hide the flush that was making its way to my cheeks.

“I can feel everything you can and it’s getting uncomfortable. So either we can help each other out or I can go find some doll.” Before he could answer he glitched off the hood of the car and reappeared in front of me, glasses gone. His organic hand grabbed the back of the short faded green hair, balling it up and pulling my face to look at him.

“Well you know my feelings towards dolls, so I guess there’s only one option.” He pulls my face towards his, a sneer painted across his lips as a surprised sound manages to get past my lips. His metal hand unzips my Samurai jacket before sliding against my hip that was exposed from the body suit I had chosen to wear paired with my low riding cargo pants. “I hate this sorry excuse for a shirt. Drives me nuts anytime you wear it.” He dully scratched against my skin making between my legs throb.

“You think I don’t know that?” The hand in my hair tightened and pulled my head back.

“So you’re tellin’ me that we could’ve been fucking this whole time and you didn’t bring it up til’ now?” I smiled as I felt his warm breath against my extended neck, his lips were dragging against my skin and making me feel like I was being hacked by Maelstrum cuz’ my body was on fire.

“Guess so, what’re you gonna do about it Rockerboy?” Finally his mouth was on me. His sharp canines dug into my neck, sure to have drawn blood. He sucked a dark hickey onto the same spot before pulling away.

“Feel like you’re gonna’ regret asking that, Princess.” The hand from my hair let go and both hands moved to my hips, lifting me up onto the hood of the car with Johnny now between my thighs. His hand came up to my neck and pushed me onto my back before releasing me once more. Before I had a second to question what he was going to do next I heard the rip of fabric followed by the chill along my bare chest. I shot up and glared at him.

“The fuck Johnny! That was exp-“ His hand was over my mouth, shutting me up before I could complain anymore.

“You don’t question me, got it?” I nodded, maintaining a pleading gaze hoping it would get me what I had been craving for much longer then I’m willing to admit. “Your body is mine and I’ll do with it as I please.” His gaze shifted from my own down to my chest for a fraction of a second before meeting mine once more. “You gonna’ be good?” I nodded, feeling my nipples perk from a mixture of the cool air and his eyes. He moved his hand from my mouth and slid both hands over my bare chest. One of his metal fingers slipped into my nipple ring as if it were nothing and pulled sharply upwards, I couldn’t help but whine as he pulled on it more. “Never pinned you for the type to get their tit pierced.”

“Never pinned you for the type to take your time.”

“Yea well I’ve never felt this frustrated.” He leaned over me, his mouth leaving wet kisses moving from just below my belly button up to my right tit and then over to my left, pulling at the piercing with his teeth. I sat up very slowly, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He continued the line of kisses up my neck, onto my chin and finally on my lips.

In an instant I tried to take back some sort of control. I tangled my fingers in his hair and pulled him as close as he could get. I slid down the hood of the car until I could feel the bulge in his leather pants against my own clothed crotch. We were a mess of tongue, teeth and lips and I couldn’t get enough. Every time he tried to pull away I tightened my grip, using my cybernetics to give me just a bit more strength than him to keep him where I wanted. He spoke against my lips ending my fun,

“Enough” I grumbled before completely releasing my grip so he could pull away, wiping his mouth on the back of his flesh hand. “You’re a greedy little slut aren’t ya” I smiled,

“Just been wanting it long enough.”

“Is that so?” As he spoke his hands began to work on my belt, pulling it loose quick enough. “Could’ve spoken up sooner”

“How the fuck do you expect me to bring that up? Want me to just casually mention as I’m gunning down scavs ’oh hey johnny we should totally fuck after this’?” He unbuttoned my cargo pants but stopped again.

“Think I would’ve said no?” I looked away from him, not liking how this turned from dirty to now digging into my insecurities. “You’re a hot piece of ass who knows her way around a gun, who’d say no to that?”

“Just thought it might make things weird, seeing as you’re taking over my body and all.” I felt my pants slip down my ass until my skin met with the very cold metal. Clearly he was done discussing anything because I could feel his flesh hand gently rub along my trimmed pubic hair exposed by the torn fabric.

“Is that supposed to be a lightning bolt?” I propped myself up on my elbows and bent my knees so I was holding myself up against the front bumper on the car.

“Kinda’ forgot I did that…”

“Cute.” I never expected those words to leave Johnny Silverhand’s mouth without being drenched in sarcasm. He leaned in close to my pussy and before I could process it he sunk his tongue inside me.

“Hol- fuck!” He flicked his gaze up to me and I could feel him smile against me. As he began to suck on my clit ruthlessly I felt two of his metal fingers slide inside me. The wet slapping sounds filled the empty lot accompanied only by my breathy curses making me feel closer to a joy toy then a merc. He organic hand scratched down my thigh before applying just a touch of pressure onto the top of my clit, spiking my heart rate and tightening the burning knot that was growing in my loins. “Christ Johnny shit s-stop” He paused his tongue and fingers, but didn’t pull anything away. Our eyes met as I tried my best to pull myself together enough to actually form a sentence. “Want you” was about all I could manage. He thrust his fingers in one final time before pulling them out, but before he stood up he tongue fucked me one last time. I watched as he licked his lips.

“What exactly do you want, V?” I sat up, letting myself slide down the hood of the car until I was standing in front of him. I grabbed him by the belt, pulled him closer before unbuckling his belt and pants.

“I need to see this cock you keep bragging about? Wanna’ see if it lives up to the hype.” He scoffs, pulling my chin up to look at him before kissing me. This time it wasn’t as carnal as before, something about the lack of teeth and hair pulling made it feel almost passionate. I unzipped his pants as we kissed and reached in to feel his warmth, warmth that never really made sense to me seeing as he’s a construct. I pulled back, breaking the kiss before sinking down to my knees, taking his pants with.

All I could do was stare. I didn’t want to validate him by complimenting it, but I knew he was staring down at me with that stupid smirk because he knew exactly what I was thinking. “Now Princess, don’t beat yourself up if you can’t take it all.” His voice was laced with such a degrading tone.

“I’ve seen bigger” I lied through my teeth, and we both knew it.

“How about you quit your lying and show me what else that pretty little mouth of yours can do.” His metal hand knotted its way into my roots and guided me towards his head.

I teasingly sucked on just the tip, making sure to drag my tongue along the engorged head. I encircled my hand around the base just to keep me stable on the balls of my feet. His hand in my hair pushed me deeper, I relaxed my throat as much as I could as he continued to push me further and further down. My tongue ran along the series of four piercings that graced the underside of his cock. Before I knew it I had my nose nestled against his thick black curls and I moved my hand to hold onto his ass. “Damn, I did not expect that. Does little miss V have more experience then she lets on?” His voice was more gruff then usual,I looked up at him, giving him the best pleading eyes that I could muster. “Can’t wait to fuck you so hard you can hardly ride your damn bike” I pulled almost all the way off his cock and just as he was about the start talking I took a deep breath through my nose and deep throated him in one motion.

“Fuckin Christ!” Both his hands gripped the back of my head and held me there for a second, when I felt them weaken just slightly I did it again. Over and over I took him into my throat, relishing at the grunts I could hear each time. As I got into a rhythm, and my gag reflex was completely gone Johnny pulled me off, a thin line of saliva connecting me to his cock. “Jesus V” I looked up at him innocently. “Don’t gimme’ that. You’re way more of a slut then I expected, y’know that?” I smiled up at him, waiting for him to make the next move. “Stand up”

I ran my tongue along the underside of his cock one final time, revelling in the way the barbells of his piercings were so cold despite the heat of his skin. “Up” he spat out through clenched teeth, I stood up and tried to hold back a smile when I noticed how flush his cheeks were. He wrapped his metal hand around my neck and pushed me back on the hood of the car. He grabbed what little fabric was left from my bodysuit and ripped it in two, giving him the most access. “I really liked this outfit.” He smirked up at me,

“Yea, but I think it’s better like this.” He pulled my forgotten pants over my combat boots and tossed them on the ground next to him before pulling my legs onto his shoulders. He nudged his cock against my throbbing pussy, letting it slide over my wet lips a few times watching me intently.

“Just fuck me already” he shook his head, contiuning to rub himself against me in the most teasing way possible.

“I think you can ask me nicer than that, don’t you?”

“If you’re not gonna’ fuck me, I’ll just give River a call and see if he’s up for the ta-” Before I could finish the sentence he sheathed himself fully inside me, a moan pushed past my lips as a groan came from him.

“River couldn’t eat you out like I did, he ain’t got shit on me and you fuckin’ know it.” His metal hand came from my neck up to grab my cheeks, forcing me to look him in the eyes as he fucked me much slower then I wanted. I could feel the bumps of his Jacob’s ladder every time he pulled out. Admittedly his cock reaches deeper than I’d ever had before, every thrust grazed against my G-spot purposely never touching it.

“You’re being an ass.” I managed to squeak out, knowing I didn’t sound nearly as intimidating as I could have in any other situation.

“Don’t know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout.” He pulled out until only his head was inside, bringing both hands to my tits, kneading and tweaking my nipples.

“You know I want more than that, but you refuse to give me anything.” I sat up on my elbows, my legs still on his shoulders. He sneered at me, knowing he was getting to me. “I want you to bend me in half and fuck me until it hurts, but you just won’t.”

“Maybe if you ask nicely I might.” He pulled my thighs against him, dragging me down to sink deeper on his cock. He bent over until my thighs were pressed against my tits, pressing our foreheads together. “Tell me you love my cock.” He roughly kissed me before the words could leave my lips “Tell me River could never fuck you as good as I am.”

“But…”

“If you don’t say it, I’ll delta the fuck outta’ here and you can finish yourself off.” He punctuated his sentence with a few thrusts here and there, to really emphasize his point. I bit down on my lip, turning my head away so he couldn’t see my cheeks flush.

“Who knows, you’ve hardly fucked me. At least River gave me what I wanted” I knew that would piss him off but I couldn’t resist.

“I was there V, I know he didn’t give you what you really wanted” He glitched away completely, my legs falling down to hit the front bumper of the car hard enough to leave bruises. The breeze felt icy against my exposed and wet core as I looked around frantically for him.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me Johnny!” I stood up, dipping a finger into my pussy to feel just how wet I was. “Come the fuck on man!” I looked down at myself, my tits hanging out and what little of the body suit that was still in one piece was riding up my ass as I walked to where my pants were thrown. I pulled my Samurai jacket off for a second, tossing it on the car before stepping out of the destroyed top and pulling my pants back on over my boots. I grabbed the jacket again, pulling it on and zipping it up over my bare chest. “I should’ve guessed he’d pull some shit like this.” I grabbed the torn fabric, thinking maybe I could stitch it up at some point before walking towards the parked Porsche.

I pulled the driver side door open, hearing the door creak loudly at my force. I got in, hitting my head against the head rest a few times in pure sexual frustration. “Fuck Johnny and his fuckin cock.” I breathed out, making no move to close the door or drive away. My core was knotted and felt like it was burning a hole through my skin, and no matter how I sat it wasn’t enough friction. I unzipped my jacket just enough to look down at my abused tits, covered in bruises that I half expected to disappear along with him. I huffed out a sigh, I can’t believe he got me to do this. “River could hardly keep a decent pace, his sex was too gentle and his...fuck Johnny....his cock wasn’t as impressive as your’s.” I waited for a second, expecting him to glitch in front of me, cock out and ready to fuck me senseless. I looked around, waited a few more seconds before angrily slamming my door and starting the car.

SLAM

“Get the fuck out of the car!” He banged on the window with his metal arm, his glasses were back on as well as all of his clothes. He pulled the door open, grabbed the back of my hair and roughly pulled from the car. He slammed the door closed behind me, pushing me against it. His mouth was on mine before I had much time to process what was going on, his hands unzipping my jacket again, throwing it off my shoulders into the dirt before pushing my pants down just past my ass. “That was a sorry excuse for what I asked, you’re just lucky I’m thinking with my cock tonight.” I reached down, unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants open. I used both hands to push the tight pants down enough for me to wrap my hand around his cock, finally getting a chance to fondle his piercings as I rubbed him.

“Johnny I want your fat cock, please.” I pleaded, meeting at his hidden gaze.

“You want it?” I shook my head, tightening my grip on it.

“No, I need it.” He smiled against my lips.

“Who am I to deny a need.” he purred as he bit my lower lip. He pulled me over to the hood of the Porsche, pushing me over the curved headlight and grabbing my arms behind me. He was buried deep inside me before I could ask for it again. He plowed into me roughly, leaning over me so I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and the kevlar of his vest. I could feel the all too familiar pull in my lower stomach, it started as a tingle then grew until I was bucking against him begging for more. I knew he was getting closer as his pace stuttered, no longer rhythmic, closer to carnal. He licked a line from the middle of my back up my spine until he bit the base of my neck. “Imagine if someone drove by right now, saw you gettin’ fucked by nothin’.” He pulled me up by my hair, still plowing into me. His hands had an iron grip on my tits, my head lolled to the side as a string of slurred words attempting to be a sentence fell from my lips. “Come on baby, just let go” my mind went blank when his hand slipped down my belly and ever so lightly ghosted over my clit.

As the wave crashed over me, I fell from his grasp onto the car moaning and bucking. It took me a few seconds to come down before I realized he was leaning over the hood of the car, one hand bracing himself, the other forming a vice grip around the base of his cock. “Christ, does it always feel like that?” His words came out as laboured as mine would have, if I were able to form any. I simply nodded, my body bucking still against nothing.

“You...you felt that?” My voice came out horse, he looked at me through his mussed hair and nodded. “Thought there was a delay between us.”

“Your guess is as good as mine, Princess.” Once my legs no longer felt like warm wax I pushed myself up from the car and turned to him. His metal hand was still around his junk while the other grabbed my shoulder and pushed me to my knees. Without much thought I took all of it into my throat with little regard for my gag reflex, tasting myself all over him. I reached up to pull his hand away, before resting mine on his thigh. “Can’t wait to see you fuckin’ painted” I attempted to process his words but before I could really connect the dots, he pulled my head back, fingered my mouth open and grunted out a tight fuck.

I guess I had never thought about what being covered in a construct’s jizz would feel like, but this felt way more real then I would have expected. My tongue darted out to get a taste of some that was dripping down my chin before I looked up at him. He grabbed my cheeks, manipulating my cheeks so he could get a better look at me. “Fuck look at you ” He stared down at me, rubbing is flesh hand along his beard making sure to never forget my cum covered face. He stepped away from me, pulling his pants back to his hips, he reached in the Porsche and grabbed the forgotten fabric that once was an article of clothing. He walked back over to me, reaching his hand out to me. I took it and stood up, feeling my knees protest slightly. He gently rubbed the shirt over my face, thumbing one drop and holding it to my lips to take, I opened my lips so I could greedily lick it off getting a tired groan from him.

I pulled my pants back up into place, my legs still a touch weak. I grabbed my jacket from the ground, dusted it off before throwing it back on and zipping it half way. I sat in the driver’s seat about to close the door when he glitched in front, leaning forward. I closed the gap and kissed him, when we pulled away we both smiled “Remind me to thank Rogue next time I see her.” my voice sounded way louder then it should have. He faded away before reappearing in the passenger seat next to me.

“Let’s just get home, gotta’ make up for lost time.” His hand glitched onto my thigh as I started driving down the empty road.

[captainlaurence]

Okay, here is a complete list of all the injuries our beloved aviators and co. sustain throughout the series.

Throne of Jade:

William Laurence

Harness buckle cut deep into right thigh.

Knife wound to left shoulder just under collarbone.

Splinter across forehead and thigh.

John Granby:

Shot, left torso.

Temeraire:

Barbed ball to the chest.

Black Powder War:

Tenzing Tharkay:

Eagle talon marks on both hands.

Hot poker to right thigh.

Temeraire:

Bullet holes in wings.

Empire of Ivory:

William Laurence

Glass bottle to forehead.

Severe lashing across back and right arm where flogger missed.

Temeraire:

Claw marks from helping Messoria, Immortalis, and Co. to the shore from the Allegiance.

Victory of Eagles:

William Laurence

Splinters from the Goliath down both legs.

Tongues of Serpents:

William Laurence

Split lip.

Glass shard in cheek and small ones in his hands.

Splinters in his right side just above belt line.

Two cracked ribs.

(Let's take a moment to appreciate that Laurence's upper hook was powerful enough to lift a man off his feet.)

John Granby:

Not specified but presumably not much better off than Laurence.

Tenzing Tharkay:

Split knuckles, right hand.

Crucible of Gold:

William Laurence

Scratch marks on side of face from fight on the beach, superficial and may not scar?

John Granby:

Amputation - Left arm, above his elbow.

Emily Roland:

Booted in the face by a sailor - broken nose, badly reset, lip torn and cheek split open.

Temeraire:

Cannon ball under wing joint.

Blood of Tyrants:

William Laurence:

Various blade and pistol shot markings from his time serving in the Navy prior to 1805 (from Junichiro's observations.)

Rope Burns to feet and legs from keeping sandals tied on.

Sword cut to right shoulder from assassination attempt in the Chinese camp.

Deep sword wound to right bicep while rescuing Temeraire from rockslide.

Partially scalped across forehead and right side of his skull.

Another deep stab wound to left arm with a knife.

Tenzing Tharkay:

Lashes on back, more than once.

Burn marks from hot irons on limbs.

Broken hands, several fingers need splints.

Temeraire:

Hack marks from swords along spine from murder attempt.

League of Dragons:

William Laurence:

Gunshot to right side, entry and exit wounds.

Temeraire:

Burn marks through both wing membranes from barn fire.

Bullet wounds on belly from the charge against the French in Switzerland.

Jane Roland:

Worth noting there is a long scar between her middle and ring finger on her right hand acquired sometime in the years between Victory of Eagles and League of Dragons.

[spamsmcgee]

Find a place where we belong

->Listen to I Think We’re Alone Now by Tiffany

Guanyu X Reader in a 1980s/21 Jump Street AU.

While investigating and hoping to bust a group of street racing gamblers, Y/N has to pose as Guanyu’s girlfriend in her first undercover assignment with the Jump Street Program.

Part one: Pilot

QuickView | Next

Toto’s coffee sat forgotten as he poured over your work history. You sat, watching on as he all but ignored you.

“Well?”

“Unremarkable” he said, thumbing through pages and pages detailing your short career on the force. “Barely met quotas on parking tickets, partners say you’re untrainable, and past supervisors have called you noncommittal at best.”

In saying that, the police chief never looked up at you. He pushed your files to the side before taking off his glasses and taking the first real look at you.

“I’d like to recommend you to Captain Hamilton’s Jump Street Program.”

He kept talking. He explained the story behind Lewis Hamilton’s ragtag team of baby faced cops who couldn’t hack it anywhere else. Truly the team of misfit toys. Getting on the inside where any middle aged patrolman couldn’t reach without scaring everyone away.

Less of a shark among dolphins.

“So a narc?”

You interrupted Toto’s monologue.

“Essentially,” a new voice filtered in from behind you.

Leaned up against the doorframe, donned a pair of aviators and an aged leather jacket, captain Lewis Hamilton. The detective looking type. He pushed himself away from the frame and crossed the room to you, hand out for a firm handshake.

“We’re starting assignments now,” He said as he made a gesture for you to join the small group in another room.

Four sets of eyes tracked you to your seat, one unclaimed in the front. Your field of vision was taken up by a whiteboard with names and more names written on it.

The sets of eyes surrounding you belonged to a group easily mistaken for the teenagers you’d see riding their bikes in a cul de sac. Working their summer jobs at some amusement park.

The youngest looking of them, a shorter guy leaned over the table in front of him to better reach the conversation around him, wore shoulder holsters that held a pair of guns level with his chest.

The group settled down after Hamilton tapped the board a couple of times. Before tossing a marker’s cap at the shorter one leaned over the table. “I will put you outside, Tsunoda”

Pouting and making a heart shape with his hands, Tsunoda sunk into his chair. He, along with the others, settled into listening to Hamilton explaining their newest assignment.

“For the past six months a small group has been gambling on illegal street races throughout Miami,” Hamilton passed folders to each of the group members, “our main suspects are from two groups: West Seminole High School and Miami East Autobody. Guanyu, Y/N, Yuki, We’re sending the three of you to the school. Oscar and Logan get the autobody shop.”

“Oscar and Yuki will be our drivers,” Hamilton read over his folder, “Logan, Guanyu, focus on getting information from your targets” His eyes drifted to you, “Y/N, I want you at Guanyu’s hip.”

There was a simultaneous groan from the other boys, one speaking up, Yuki. “I’ve been here longer”

“You’re also scared of girls.”

Yuki threw that marker cap at Guanyu in response.

Hamilton raised his voice over the commotion, “the four I want you to focus on are Max Verstappen, Daniel Ricciardo, Lando Norris, and the man over the whole operation: Fernando Alonso”

“Max and Daniel co-own that autobody shop, Max is the best of the best, he has outrun every unit in the city. He drives a 1980 Toyota Celica Supra. It looks stock, it’s not.” Lewis articulated his explanation with his slapping pictures onto the whiteboard beside him, pulled from a file in his hands.

You stared at the picture of what truly was an unassuming looking navy blue Toyota. Max stood next to it speaking to a taller man. Accompanying that was another picture, dark, blurry, two cars next to each other in the middle of a burnout.

“Daniel has a 67 Dodge Challenger, loud and obnoxious. Just like him”

The man from that first picture of Max reappeared. Only a printout from CCTV footage. Daniel outside of that gas station, chatting up a tall blonde while leaning against the aforementioned Dodge Challenger.

“Lando is a student at West Seminole. He has a prior history with reckless driving, driving under the influence, and was detained at fourteen for trying to get into a casino in Las Vegas,” Hamilton continued flipping through his file folders, “He drives a 1979 Porsche 911.”

Lando’s pictures were a collection of school photos. Aside from one taken outside of another gas station. That one wasn’t a CCTV shot, more likely some PI that followed him around.

“Fernando is an English Literature teacher at West Seminole. He drives a 1960 Fastback Mustang,” Hamilton put up a glossy picture of Fernando with his cherry red mustang, taken in the high school parking lot, “We believe he recruits drivers from his classes. Over half of our suspects have gone through him in West Seminole. The other half come from Miami East.”

The meeting continued on without anything else too interesting. More backstory on the group you would be watching. Some honorable mentions without much pull, but still suspects nonetheless. The guys asking questions. Yuki antagonizing Lewis when he can. Logan antagonizing Yuki.

Lewis moved on to explain everyone’s cover. Names, backstory, down to the car you drive. You, Audrey Kellen would be riding around with Guanyu, or David Choi in his 1980 Alfa Romeo Giulia. Yuki, Jude Ioki already had his 1987 Nissan Z. Oscar’s Aaron Meyers’ 1981 Camaro was modified enough to make the ground shake as it drove by, Lewis explained. He would go on to be the main driver. Against Yuki’s protests. Logan, Alex Reeves had his father’s 79 Chevy S10.

The meeting adjourned. Guanyu hung back to walk with you out of the briefing room. He fell in step with you as you passed him.

“Ready to go back to school?” He asked, nudging you in the side.

“Can I be honest?” You shoved your hands into your jacket pockets. He leaned towards you as if you were gearing up to let him in on some sort of secret. “Teenagers terrify me, so not really.”

He laughed. Maybe a bit of a generous laugh. You couldn’t help laughing along.

The two of you fought up to the rest of the guys. They chattered on together, barely registering that y’all had joined them. Even when you added to the conversation, they talked along with you as if you’d been there the entire time.

That night you’d go home and pack your school bag. It stayed in the back of your closet. You’d graduated high school in 82, your backpack was even older. One you’d used since the 70s.

Your younger sister had a less vintage Trapper Keeper you planned on stealing from her. Probably with a promise of a months worth of video and radio store allowance, extra time at the arcade, and some of Kate Bush’s latest on a new Walkman to keep her from asking questions.

On your way home you hit a radio store to pick up said Walkman and Kate Bush tracks.

[one-cric]

Why Aviator Hack Is A Trap?

The thrill of the Aviator game is undeniable. Watching the plane climb higher, multiplying your potential winnings can be exhilarating. But here's the truth: Aviator hack simply don't exist.

Why Aviator Hack Don't Work?

Server-Side Gameplay: The results of the Aviator game are determined by the casino's server, not your device. This makes manipulating the game virtually impossible.

Evolving Software: Casino game developers are constantly working to improve security and patch vulnerabilities. Any hack that might have existed in the past is likely patched by now.

Risky Download: Promises of "miracle", Aviator hacks often lead to malware-laden downloads. These downloads can steal your personal information or infect your device with viruses.

Focus on Strategy, Not Hack

Instead of chasing illusion hack, focus on developing an Aviator strategy. Here are some tips:

Set Limits: Decide on a budget beforehand and stick to it. Don't chase losses.

Start Small: Begin with smaller bets to get a feel for the game's rhythm.

Cash Out Early: Don't get greedy! Secure your winnings by cashing out at a comfortable multiplier.

Manage Your Bankroll: Allocate a specific amount for Aviator and avoid playing with money you can't afford to lose.

Don't Fly into Trouble

[sagecodex]

When I'm putting together a project and I need to fill it with content that doesn't exist yet, I usually turn to the tried and true Lorem Ipsum generator. But sometimes, I want to have a little fun with my projects.

So here's a list of 60+ text generators (in alphabetical order) to zhuzh up your projects. Just don't be like me and forget to replace them with something appropriate when you share them with the world (a mistake I will likely continue to make).

Note: the following blocks of text are all pre-generated. Some of them may be offensive, though I am by no means endorsing any of them! They're just examples of of what these tools generate and I’m too lazy to edit.

Lorem Ipsum

Generates the standard lorem ipsum text.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur.

90s Ipsum

Generates a string of 90s text and -ism’s.

Charlotte hornets flip flops braveheart as I lay me down to sleep umbro shorts aviators, this is your brain on drugs speed tlc schindler’s list hot pink chronic. Extreme sports dennis rodman toy story choker necklace. Body piercings armageddon personalized mixtapes toyota supra, spiked hair I've fallen and I can't get up bowl cut dallas cowboys catsuit. Airwalk khaki roseanne leopard print instant messaging royal stewart tartan.

Bacon Ipsum

Generates a block of bacon and meat text.

Bacon ipsum dolor amet biltong rump bresaola kielbasa, pancetta shank shoulder turkey kevin meatloaf cow ground round. Jerky corned beef sausage, filet mignon chislic strip steak capicola porchetta shoulder. Biltong turkey brisket landjaeger, cupim pancetta ham hock pastrami short loin.

Baseball Ipsum

Generates baseball-themed text.

Runs leather fielder's choice center fielder slide perfect game glove leather grounder. Batter's box knuckleball club wild pitch butcher boy cellar win 4-6-3. Batting average petey relief pitcher wrigley hack, scorecard right fielder away. Cardinals bush league no decision home curve earned run flyout.

Bavaria Ipsum

GeneratesBavarian-themed text in Dutch.

Bavaria ipsum dolor sit amet Foidweg Biakriagal, guad o’ha Auffisteign? Ned Servas ognudelt Radi Charivari Griasnoggalsubbm kimmt auf gehds beim Schichtl Zidern. Deandlgwand oamoi und glei wirds no fui lustiga, de Sonn Engelgwand Maßkruag.

Beer Lorem Ipsum

Generates beer text that could almost be a real blog post.

The Mango Beer panics, and another cantankerous Coors goes to sleep; however, an Ellis Island IPA brainwashes a foreign wanker. Furthermore, a burly customer laughs out loud, and a Kashmir IPA of a Home brew avoids contact with an obsequious stein. A surly Pilsner often competes with a chain saw.

Birolipsum

Generates quotes from the President of Brazil, Jair Bolsonaro (or Biroliro for those intimate). In Portuguese.

Marcos Valério alega que o corrupto presidiário Lula é um dos mandantes do assassinato de Celso Daniel! Surpreso? Não! Pela memória do coronel Brilhante Ustra, o pavor de Dilma Rousseff. Eu estou lutando contra um sistema, contra o establishment. Paulo fala: “venda suas capas e compre espadas".

Bluth Ipsum

Generates quotes from the TV show Arrested Development.

I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties.

Bob Ross Lipsum

Generates quotes from Bob Ross.

You can create beautiful things - but you have to see them in your mind first. If you don't think every day is a good day - try missing a few. You'll see. All you need to paint is a few tools, a little instruction, and a vision in your mind. And I will hypnotize that just a little bit. We spend so much of our life looking - but never seeing. The little tiny Tim easels will let you down.

Bro Ipsum

Generates “bro culture” text.

Bro ipsum dolor sit amet bunny slope free ride laps, liftie park beater frozen chicken heads Whistler skid lid huck ollie taco mitt. Nose bonk hardtail chain ring white room taco euro spin backside presta rigid giblets. Stunt free ride taco glove deck. White room death cookies park, tele giblets grab dope 360 corn table top spread eagle nose beater snake bite.

Busey Ipsum

Generates quotes from Gary Busey.

Go with the feeling of the nature. Take it easy. Know why you're here. And remember to balance your internal energy with the environment.Sometimes horses cough and fart at the same time, so stay out of the range of its butt muscle because a horses butt muscle is thick.

Cajun Ipsum

Generates cajun-inspired text.

Cayenne boiled crawfish bread pudding sauce piquante Boudreaux po-boy. Interstate envie Lafayette tasso lagniappe King Cake fishing iced tea. Po-boy bonjour smoked sausage trail ride beignet merci beaucoup cajun lagniappe hunting iced tea.

Cat Ipsum

Generates text as cat thoughts.

Stare at guinea pigs mmmmmmmmm eeeeeeee ooooooooo wwwwwwww run in circles, so loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it. Cough furball find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out. Kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff.

Cheese Ipsum

Generates cheese and cheese-adjacent text.

Cow cheese triangles cheesy grin. Stinking bishop port-salut lancashire pecorino stinking bishop cheesy grin red leicester danish fontina. Stilton swiss bocconcini parmesan cottage cheese fondue parmesan hard cheese. Airedale everyone loves halloumi cheese triangles cut the cheese stilton stilton taleggio. Smelly cheese.

Cheesburger Ipsum

Generates actual cheeseburger copy. Limited in what it can give you.

The last time you had a cheeseburger was too long ago. Try not to drool when you think about the slightly charred, medium-rare meat nestled between soft brioche, cradled in crisp iceberg lettuce and flavour amplifying condiments. Why are you still reading this- go get a cheeseburger.

Chiquito Ipsum

I don’t speak Spanish, but it generates Spanish text. Also has a Latin option. Which I also don’t speak. Idk I'm very confused.

Lorem fistrum no puedor de la pradera tiene musho peligro diodenoo a wan. Ese hombree me cago en tus muelas qué dise usteer fistro. Mamaar no puedor al ataquerl ese hombree diodeno caballo blanco caballo negroorl. Ese que llega te va a hasé pupitaa la caidita te voy a borrar el cerito hasta luego Lucas se calle ustée.

Chuck Norris Facts

Generates Chuck Norris Facts. What did you expect XD

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever, Chuck Norris is the king of fighters, Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch.".

Coffee Ipsum

Generates coffee-inspired text

Cultivar, strong carajillo whipped half and half irish galão. Id variety that, at redeye, trifecta variety crema robust con panna. Coffee ristretto, et milk, robust flavour cinnamon spoon cappuccino. Dripper, half and half cortado white extra milk medium.

Corporate Ipsum

Generates corporate-style jargon. Sounds like every sales meeting I’ve ever been in.

Leverage agile frameworks to provide a robust synopsis for high level overviews. Iterative approaches to corporate strategy foster collaborative thinking to further the overall value proposition. Organically grow the holistic world view of disruptive innovation via workplace diversity and empowerment.

Cupcake Ipsum

Generates pastry and dessert-inspired text.

Marshmallow lollipop apple pie bonbon pastry icing jujubes toffee jelly beans. Liquorice marzipan toffee candy canes bear claw tart lollipop apple pie. Tootsie roll cake gummies gingerbread wafer sesame snaps cupcake fruitcake sweet roll.

Dalaipsum

Generates quotes from His Holiness the XIVth Dalai Lama.

I love friends, I want more friends. I love smiles. That is a fact. How to develop smiles? There are a variety of smiles. Some smiles are sarcastic. Some smiles are artificial-diplomatic smiles. These smiles do not produce satisfaction, but rather fear or suspicion. But a genuine smile gives us hope, freshness. If we want a genuine smile, then first we must produce the basis for a smile to come.

DeLorean Ipsum

Generates quotes from the movie Back to the Future.

Hey, Doc? Doc. Hello, anybody home? Einstein, come here, boy. What's going on? Wha- aw, god. Aw, Jesus. Whoa, rock and roll. Yo C'mon, Mom, make it fast, I'll miss my bus. Hey see you tonight, Pop. Woo, time to change that oil. Hello. Tab?

Dino Ipsum

Generates names of dinosaurs!

Astrophocaudia Chaoyangsaurus Priconodon Amygdalodon Dracoraptor Mahakala Zalmoxes Anthodon Alocodon Lingyuanosaurus Kotasaurus Leinkupal Magnamanus Styracosaurus Atlasaurus Janenschia Drusilasaura Acristavus Leinkupal Bagaceratops Cedrorestes Batyrosaurus Sinornithoides Coelophysis Neuquensaurus Pachyspondylus Eurolimnornis Platyceratops Marisaurus Quilmesaurus.

Doggo Ipsum

Cat Ipsum but for dogs.

Doggo ipsum lotsa pats very taste wow lotsa pats extremely cuuuuuute, pats adorable doggo. heck very good spot heckin. Heckin good boys and girls clouds corgo sub woofer borking doggo, heckin angery woofer boof length boy. He made many woofs pats h*ck heckin good boys and girls pats boofers, you are doing me the shock the neighborhood pupper long bois.

Durham Ipsum

I don’t know where Durham is, but it generates text inspired by the city...county? 

Triangle localista dino trail jazz diamondview nccu the connecter historic preservation smoffice lemurs, bimbe scrap exchange trinity park brightleaf dance upcycled. Chapel hill street locavore wunc plaid, beer old five points 15-501, angier drive hipster.

Farm Animal Lorem Ipsum

Generates farm-inspired text. I hate that oink oink is in this.

Mallet herbs basil nest, in welding equipment pens quail. Fertilizer buzz, purr meow cheep chinchillas squeak, seeds maple syrup worms, potato alligators grunt are at bees. Apples ducks straw, quail a ostriches donkey, hay hook cucumbers. Post pounder calf, hay or duck is, tool shed horse. Grapes at yams mushrooms organic berries gobble. Mouse soybeans sweet corn hogs llamas or oink oink wind.

Fillerama

Generates quotes from the TV show Futurama.

OK, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells. I saw you with those two "ladies of the evening" at Elzars. Explain that.

Gangsta Lorem Ipsum

Generates “gangsta” inspired text.

Lorem ipsum dolizzle sit amet, consectetuer gizzle bow wow wow. Nullam sapizzle velit, get down get down volutpizzle, suscipit ma nizzle, gravida vel, mammasay mammasa mamma oo sa. Pellentesque crackalackin tortizzle. Yo eros. Fo shizzle at dolizzle dapibizzle turpizzle tempizzle da bomb.

Heisenberg Ipsum

Generates quotes from the TV show Breaking Bad. It lets you select the character (I’m assuming they’re all from the same show I haven’t seen it).

He has enough money to last forever. He knows he needs to keep moving. You'll never find him. He's out of the picture. I saved his life, I owed him that, but now he and I are done. Which is exactly what you wanted, isn't it. You've always struck me as a very pragmatic man so if I may, I would like to review options with you. Of which, it seems to me you have two.

Hillbilly Ipsum

Generates hillbilly-inspired text and -ism’s.

Chickens in the sack died when I was young rye whiskey steel driving crew? Going to town soldier's joy. One arm round my whiskey keg poor boy sugar baby soldier's joy, fiddle, coming down the track, hot corn nine-pound hammer cluck old hen run. Stranger? Pickle my bones in alcohol.

Hipster Ipsum

Generates hipster-inspired text.

I'm baby plaid umami kale chips, pinterest selvage microdosing gochujang Brooklyn small batch vinyl 3 wolf moon. VHS pinterest wayfarers normcore direct trade pickled lumbersexual vegan yuccie palo santo kickstarter crucifix 3 wolf moon. Vexillologist adaptogen try-hard, chicharrones hexagon vape polaroid.

Horror Lorem Ipsum

Generates horror-inspired text.

Gore at chainsaw knife crazed choking helpless. In willow trees, killer dolls are rotten teeth bite, sheep children virus nibh, in zombies brains unknown ghost creepy. Drenched scream scared dark. Creep cold graves, shadow non fear a, psychotic ashes ghost. Eerie needles edginess, graveyard on death rotten, disturbing non grave. 

Jipsum

A random lorem ipsum generator so not all your text is the same. It’s in German though.

Impensa quaeque mediocris elitr iactare Confirmat metu comit Explicatis civibus deterruisset Manus. Cupiditatum exedunt suaviter inveniri voluptas pauca Inter illa confirmavit. Reprehensiones rebus imperdiet etiam temporis Ornateque delectatio platonem nostris occulta Hausta intercapedo magni. Dicitis timeam Vocet faciendum consul Simulent chrysippe. Fortunae nostros arare Inter futurove.

Journo Ipsum

Generates some of the most common catchphrases, buzzwords, and bon mots of the future-of-news crowd. (Wow I hate that description)

future API Zite the notion of the public #twittermakesyoustupid election-night hologram Rupert Murdoch crowdfunding CPC nut graf gamification gotta grok it before you rock it rubber cement, Foursquare nonprofit Dan Fleckner WikiLeaks abundance libel lawyer Tim Carmody media bias.

Katy Perry Ipsum

Generates Katy Perry lyrics.

The boys break their necks try'na to creep a little sneak peek. Think the city towed my car, chandeliers on the floor. I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire. They say, be afraid you're not like the others, futuristic lover. You think I'm funny when I tell the punchline wrong. We'd keep all our promises be us against the world. Yeah, she's footloose and so fancy free. So I sat quietly, agreed politely.

Khaled Ipsum

Generates Khaled quotes...lyrics? Unclear.

Lorem Khaled Ipsum is a major key to success. The weather is amazing, walk with me through the pathway of more success. Take this journey with me, Lion! Look at the sunset, life is amazing, life is beautiful, life is what you make it. It’s on you how you want to live your life. Everyone has a choice.

Lancashire Ipsum

Generates colloquialisms that originate from the county of Lancashire.

Lancashire ipsum dolor amet gradely axin camp neaw cowd frit. Bellasses yer'sen unawl greaund peawnd. Camp Darrun geet, howd feyther clowt eyter. Vawse way'er clum nought. Gronny no nouse heawr beawnt, Keawyed City purring es'tin inth arrers bin diddy our Peg shoon. 

Liquor Ipsum

A boozy text generator.

Singapore sling old etonian aberlour missouri mule vodka sunrise two fingers shirley temple black pappy van winkle glenburgie. Paddy the last word, gibson vat 69, bruichladdich flirtini lejon hanky-panky drambuie finlandia tequila sunrise edradour!

Melbourne Ipsum

Honestly I have no idea what this is but I’m assuming it’s Australian.

Naked for satan street art, spiegeltent north of the river brunswick and brunswick st MSAC kylie minogue, swanston melb collingwood ferals spring racing carnival empire of the sun, the melbourne cup the hawks victory vs heart four seasons in one day the borek woman, avalon is so not melb the espy bill clinton ate two bowls.

Mid-century Ipsum

Generates mid-century-inspired text.

Hostess trolley bakelite selectric creative carport candy-ass, jazz whiskey beatnik creative. Tiki upswept frutiger googie drive-in futuristic highway jet-age television, herman miller danish modern jet-age. Ratpack ranch home whiskey candy-ass upswept saul bass jet-age hostess trolley?

Morse Code Lorem Ipsum

Generates random Morse Code.

.-.. --- .-. . -- .. .--. … ..- -- -.. --- .-.. --- .-. … .. - .- -- . - --..-- -.-. --- -. … . -.-. - . - ..- . .-. .- -.. .. .--. .. … -.-. .. -. --. . .-.. .. - .-.-.- ..- - --- -.. .. --- .-.-.- -. .- -- … . -.. . … - .-.-.- -. .- -- .- .-. .. … ..- … . - . … - .. .- -.-. ..- .-.. .. … .- -.. .. .--. .. … -.-. .. -. --. .-.-.- …- . … - .. -… ..- .-.. ..- -- .- -. - . .. .--. … ..- -- .--. .-. .. -- .. … .. -. ..-. .- ..- -.-. .. -… ..- … --- .-. -.-. .. .-.. ..- -.-. - ..- … . - ..- .-.. -

Mussem Ipsum

I don’t know who Mussem is but it’s in Portuguese. He looks friendly?

Mussum Ipsum, cacilds vidis litro abertis. A ordem dos tratores não altera o pão duris.Interessantiss quisso pudia ce receita de bolis, mais bolis eu num gostis.Suco de cevadiss, é um leite divinis, qui tem lupuliz, matis, aguis e fermentis.Admodum accumsan disputationi eu sit. Vide electram sadipscing et per.

Neil deGrasse Tyson Ipsum

Generates quotes from astrophysicist Niel deGrasse Tyson. 

As an educator, I try to get people to be fundamentally curious and to question ideas that they might have or that are shared by others. In that state of mind, they have earned a kind of inoculation against the fuzzy thinking of these weird ideas floating around out there.

Nietzsche Ipsum

Generates Nietzsche-inspired text.

Society depths ubermensch christianity sea enlightenment joy virtues decieve society good disgust selfish noble. Ascetic decieve pious play deceptions decieve decieve intentions self self ideal.

Ocean Creature Lorem Ipsum

Generates sea creature-inspired text.

Manta ray with lionfish ect. Coral hogfish fingernail clam in tilefish mandarinfish crab lionfish weasel shark. Yellow pseudochromis weasel shark shadow, darkness in deap ocean an, Motionless Wabash pigtoe Full moon. Colorful soldierfish banded sole jump. Nurse shark at goatfish grey whale.

Obama Ipsum

Generates quotes from former US President Barack Obama.

We are a better country than this. But I will also renew the tough, direct diplomacy that can prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons and curb Russian aggression. It is time for us to act on what everyone knows to be true. This tolerance is essential for religion to thrive, but it is being challenged in many different ways.

Office Ipsum

Generates sentences you’ve heard in every meeting ever. Also has a client feedback version!

If you're not hurting you're not winning pivot, dear hiring manager:, for incentivization even dead cats bounce wiggle room, for one-sheet. Put a record on and see who dances high-level, but we've got to manage that low hanging fruit lift and shift. It just needs more cowbell make it a priority, but strategic high-level 30,000 ft view pro-sumer software, so golden goose low-hanging fruit can we parallel path. 

Pirate Ipsum

Generates pirate-inspired jargon.

Squiffy ballast maroon gangplank tackle grog scuppers driver barque tack. Yardarm mizzen barque capstan heave to hardtack Pieces of Eight port hulk parrel. Pinnace lass Jack Tar gabion Yellow Jack run a rig furl red ensign come about Brethren of the Coast.

Pizza Ipsum

I love pizza ?

Pizza ipsum dolor amet garlic sausage white pizza bianca hawaiian pizza meat lovers large onions. Banana peppers black olives stuffed crust, pizza steak bbq sauce chicken wing meatball garlic lasagna green bell peppers anchovies mushrooms extra cheese. Philly steak bianca pizza mayo, garlic sauce bbq rib platter. 

Placehodler

It’s crypto and I hate it.

Bitcoin could be many dormant accidental fork! Monero waited some efficient do your own research during lots of market cap. Since someone specialises in few quick coin in the difficulty, Litecoin limited a hot wallet at few smart contract, so although SHA 256 did lots of provably fair double spend behind many Lambo

Pommy Ipsum

“The official lorem ipsum filler text generator of the British Empire.”

Pommy ipsum knee high to a grasshopper i'll be a monkey's uncle sod's law knows bugger all about nowt one would like spend a penny grab a jumper, cheesed off that's ace shepherd's pie mince pies anorak because there was nothing on the gogglebox, what a load of guff chippy accordingly nosh on a stag do chin up.

Postmodernist Generator

Generates a whole meaningless essay of postmodernist jargon.

If one examines textual deappropriation, one is faced with a choice: either reject textual precapitalist theory or conclude that sexual identity has objective value. Lyotard uses the term ‘textual materialism’ to denote a mythopoetical paradox It could be said that the premise of textual precapitalist theory holds that narrative is a product of communication, given that narrativity is equal to language.

Ramen Ipsum

Ramen is love. Ramen is life.

Ginger sesame oil abura soba chopped onions chicken stock seasoned egg corn Nagoya pork bones soy sauce. Asahikawa flavoured oil scallions Kagoshima Tokushima abura soba Hakata Tokyo Nissin instant cup ramen soy sauce yuzu toasted sesame seeds ramen burger vinegar.

Rush Ipsum

Generates lyrics from the band Rush.

One likes to believe in the freedom of music, but glittering prizes and endless compromises shatter the illusion of integrity. I wandered home though the silent streets and fell into a fitful sleep. I know it's most unusual to come before you so, but I've found an ancient miracle.

Sagan Ipsum

Generates text inspired by astronomer Carl Sagan.

Paroxysm of global death Drake Equation explorations another world from which we spring a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. Cosmos kindling the energy hidden in matter globular star cluster dream of the mind's eye ship of the imagination courage of our questions?

Samuel L. Ipsum

Generates quotes from actor Samuel L. Jackson. (Warning: inappropriate language)

Now that there is the Tec-9, a crappy spray gun from South Miami. This gun is advertised as the most popular gun in American crime. Do you believe that shit? It actually says that in the little book that comes with it: the most popular gun in American crime. Like they're actually proud of that shit.

Skate Ipsum

Generates skater lingo.

Skate ipsum dolor sit amet, Primo slide dude rock and roll mute-air 540 nose bump. Masonite locals egg plant trucks Saran Wrap camel back. Pool bigspin Paul Rodriguez no comply mini ramp nose slide feeble. 720 fakie out griptape Grind King mute-air regular footed bail. Pogo rail slide crail slide full-cab feeble concave Johnny Rad. 

Space Ipsum

Generates outer space-inspired text.

There is no strife, no prejudice, no national conflict in outer space as yet. Its hazards are hostile to us all. Its conquest deserves the best of all mankind, and its opportunity for peaceful cooperation many never come again. But why, some say, the moon? Why choose this as our goal?

Trump Ipsum

Generates text inspired by former US President Donald Trump.

You have so many different things placeholder text has to be able to do, and I don't believe Lorem Ipsum has the stamina. You have so many different things placeholder text has to be able to do, and I don't believe Lorem Ipsum has the stamina. He’s not a word hero. He’s a word hero because he was captured. I like text that wasn’t captured.

Web 2.0 Ipsum

Generates text from nonsensical Web 2.0 startup names, just for the heck of it. 

Webtwo ipsum sclipo zapier groupon blippy, wesabe. Empressr twitter groupon meebo joukuu doostang octopart, grockit spock doostang koofers. Scribd airbnb zoho insala gooru chartly yuntaa, odeo knewton koofers balihoo zlio. Wikia prezi zlio empressr glogster cloudera tivo kno, wufoo sifteo zimbra jiglu kippt.

Wine Ipsum

Generates actual filler copy about wine.

The aftertaste, or "finish," is the primary factor in judging the quality and character of wine. Tomato and cherry flavors nestle comfortably together with notes of leather and clay in Sangiovese. A lingering finish indicates a luscious vintage! If a husband found his wife drinking wine in the early Roman times, he was at liberty to kill her. Be not offended when your ex drinks wine.

Yolo Ipsum

I hate this and I will be using it for every project going forward.

Don’t trust anyone, cause you only live once. Aliquam imperdiet, ligula vehicula sodales lobortis, dui arcu ultricies libero, vitae tempor eros libero sed neque. Pop a molly, I’m sweatin’, consequat feugiat eros.  How you like your eggs, fried or fertilized? 

Zombie Ipsum

“A macabre feast of frightful filler.”

Zombie ipsum reversus ab viral inferno, nam rick grimes malum cerebro. De carne lumbering animata corpora quaeritis. Summus brains sit​​, morbo vel maleficia? De apocalypsi gorger omero undead survivor dictum mauris. Hi mindless mortuis soulless creaturas, imo evil stalking monstra adventus resi dentevil vultus comedat cerebella viventium.

[weedsollux]

dont know how upwards of 50% of my dash has become boxing photos and pictures of leather clad cigar smoking men in aviators i feellike i got hacked by someones gay centrist uncle

[fgdhg12312]

aviator-download.com

[leonlafricain]

https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/security-aviation/2024-08-21/ty-article-magazine/.premium/israels-futile-war-against-massive-iranian-hack-of-secret-data/00000191-6bd7-d1ee-afb5-6bff8a510000

[snickers-the-fluffy-boi]

Abusive Sexual Contact

Advocating Overthrow of Government

Aggravated Assault/Battery

Aggravated Identity Theft

Aggravated Sexual Abuse

Aiming a Laser Pointer at an Aircraft

Airplane Hijacking

Anti-racketeering

Antitrust

Armed Robbery

Arson

Assassination

Assault with a Deadly Weapon

Assaulting or Killing Federal Officer

Assisting or Instigating Escape

Attempt to commit Murder/Manslaughter

Bank Burglary

Bankruptcy Fraud/Embezzlement

Bank Larceny

Bank Robbery

Blackmail

Bombing Matters

Bond Default

Breaking and/or Entering Carrier Facilities

Bribery Crimes

Certification of Checks (Fraud)

Child Abuse

Child Exploitation

Child Pornography

Civil Action to Restrain Harassment of a Victim or Witness

Coercion

Commodities Price Fixing

Computer Crime

Concealing Escaped Prisoner

Concealing Person from Arrest

Concealment of Assets

Conspiracy (in matters under FBI jurisdiction)

Conspiracy to Impede or Injure an Officer

Contempt of Court

Continuing Criminal Enterprise

Conveying False Information

Copyright Matters

Counterfeiting

Counterintelligence Crimes

Credit/Debit Card Fraud

Crime Aboard Aircraft

Crimes on Government Reservations

Crimes on Indian Reservations

Criminal Contempt of Court

Criminal Forfeiture

Criminal Infringement of a Copyright

Cyber Crimes

Damage to Religious Property

Delivery to Consignee

Demands Against the U.S.

Destruction of Aircraft or Motor Vehicles Used in Foreign Commerce

Destruction of an Energy Facility

Destruction of Property to Prevent Seizure

Destruction of Records in Federal Investigations and Bankruptcy

Destruction of Corporate Audit Records

Destruction of Veterans’ Memorials

Detention of Armed Vessel

Disclosure of Confidential Information

Domestic Security

Domestic Terrorism

Domestic Violence

Drive-by Shooting

Drug Abuse Violations

Drug Smuggling

Drug Trafficking

DUI/DWI on Federal Property

Economic Espionage

Election Law Crimes

Embezzlement

Embezzlement Against Estate

Entering Train to Commit Crime

Enlistment to Serve Against the U.S.

Environmental Scheme Crimes

Escaping Custody/Escaped Federal Prisoners

Examiner Performing Other Services

Exportation of Drugs

Extortion

Failure to Appear on Felony Offense

Failure to Pay Legal Child Support Obligations

False Bail

False Pretenses

False Statements Relating to Health Care Matters

Falsely Claiming Citizenship

False Declarations before Grand Jury or Court

False Entries in Records of Interstate Carriers

False Information and Hoaxes

False Statement to Obtain Unemployment Compensation

Federal Aviation Act

Federal Civil Rights Violations (hate crimes, police misconduct)

Female Genital Mutilation

Financial Transactions with Foreign Government

First Degree Murder

Flight to Avoid Prosecution or Giving Testimony

Forced Labor

Forcible Rape

Forgery

Fraud Activity in Connection with Electronic Mail

Fraud Against the Government

Genocide

Hacking Crimes

Harboring Terrorists

Harming Animals Used in Law Enforcement

Hate Crime Acts

Homicide

Hostage Taking

Identity Theft

Illegal Possession of Firearms

Immigration Offenses

Impersonator Making Arrest or Search

Importation of Drugs

Influencing Juror by Writing

Injuring Officer

Insider Trading Crimes

Insurance Fraud

Interference with the Operation of a Satellite

International Parental Kidnapping

International Terrorism

Interstate Domestic Violence

Interstate Violation of Protection Order

Larceny

Lobbying with Appropriated Moneys

Mailing Threatening Communications

Major Fraud Against the U.S.

Manslaughter

Medical/Health Care Fraud

Missile Systems Designed to Destroy Aircraft

Misuse of Passport

Misuse of Visas, Permits, or Other Documents

Molestation

Money Laundering

Motor Vehicle Theft

Murder by a Federal Prisoner

Murder Committed During Drug-related Drive-by shooting

Murder Committed in Federal Government Facility

Narcotics Violations

Obstructing Examination of Financial Institution

Obstruction of Court Orders

Obstruction of Federal audit

Obstruction of Justice

Obstruction of Criminal Investigations

Officer Failing to Make Reports

Partial Birth Abortion

Penalties for Neglect or Refusal to Answer Subpoena

Peonage

Perjury

Picketing or Parading

Pirating

Possession by Restricted Persons

Possession of False Papers to Defraud the U.S.

Possession of Narcotics

Possession of Child Pornography

Private Correspondence with Foreign Government

Probation Violation

Product Tampering

Prohibition of Illegal Gambling Businesses

Prostitution

Protection of Foreign Officials

Public Corruption Crimes

Racketeering

Radiological Dispersal Devices

Ransom Money

Rape

Receiving the Proceeds of Extortion

Recording or Listening to Grand or Petit Juries While Deliberating

Reentry of an Alien Removed on National Security Grounds

Registration of Certain Organizations

Reproduction of Citizenship Papers

Resistance to Extradition Agent

Rescue of Seized Property

Retaliating Against a Federal Judge by False Claim or Slander of Title

Retaliating Against a Witness, Victim, or an Informant

Robbery

Robberies and Burglaries Involving Controlled Substances

Sabotage

Sale of Citizenship Papers

Sale of Stolen Vehicles

Searches Without Warrant

Second Degree Murder

Serial Murders

Sexual Abuse

Sexual Abuse of a Minor

Sexual Assault

Sexual Battery

Sexual Conduct with a Minor

Sexual Exploitation

Sex Trafficking

Shoplifting

Smuggling

Solicitation to Commit a Crime of Violence

Stalking (In Violation of Restraining Order)

Stolen Property; Buying, Receiving, or Possessing

Subornation of Perjury

Suits Against Government Officials

Tampering with a Witness, Victim, or Informant

Tampering with Consumer Products

Tampering with Vessels

Theft of Trade Secrets

Torture

Trafficking in Counterfeit Goods or Services

Transmission of Wagering Information (Gambling)

Transportation into State Prohibiting Sale

Transportation of Slaves from U.S.

Transportation of Stolen Vehicles

Transportation of Terrorists

Trespassing

Treason

Unauthorized Removal of Classified Documents

Use of Fire or Explosives to Destroy Property

Use of Weapons of Mass Destruction

Vandalism

Video Voyeurism

Violation of Prohibitions Governing Atomic Weapons

Violence at International airports

Violent Crimes in Aid of Racketeering Activity

Willful Wrecking of a Train Resulting in Death

Wire Fraud

That’s the list of all of my crimes