#average swan behavior

[kafhimes-wife]

Black Swan going through your memories when you two meet for the first time, coming out realizing how kind you are despite all you've been through and looking at you with sympathy as well as adoration.

Her telling you vaguely how the future holds so much for you while putting on a soft but genuine smile. Her inviting you to spend time with her on your fleeting journey in Penacony.

Maybe after everything you can still find happiness, you think. And you hope she can be part of it.

[redux-iterum]

-flight, -step, -fall, and -leap

SWANFLIGHT

Prerequisite Traits

Appearance: White fur, and large in stature.

Personality and/or Behavior: Graceful, aggressive, and loyal.

Additional Traits

Like their namesake, a cat that qualifies for Swanflight is massive. (Quite literally, although exceptions are sometimes made for Swan- cats with average sizes and large personalities.) With that size comes an aggressive nature, which manifests as either territoriality, suspicion of outsiders, or protectiveness of their kits. These cats are generally regarded as fearless in the face of arguments or combat, and they have a tendency to attack first, ask questions later. It takes considerable effort from their mentors to train this behavior out of them (or at the least, teach them how to rein it in). Cats with this name are usually the first to take the initiative on tasks, like volunteering for patrols. They also have a steadfast, unwavering devotion to their mates. While this isn’t unusual in a society that’s primarily monogamous, Swanflight cats are the most demonstrative of their relationship. A Swan- cat that qualifies for -flight tends to overlap with -claw and -flower. In ThunderClan especially, Swanflight can be interchangeable with -face, since combat prowess and large statures are the ideal beauty standard. Conversely, Swanflight is virtually nonexistent in ShadowClan, since white fur and tallness are rare in this territory. It’s nearly a guarantee that a ShadowClan cat with that name is either an outsider, or of mixed heritage.

-

MOUSESTEP

Prerequisite Traits

Appearance: Brown fur, and small in stature.

Personality and/or Behavior: Inquisitive, cautious, and easily startled.

Additional Traits

Mousestep cats have a curious nature that’s at odds with their flightiness. It has little to do with cowardice—rather, they possess an innate sense of danger, and excellent self-preservation instincts. Coupled with their above average speed and reflexes, they demonstrate an aptitude for scouting, and will sometimes qualify for -leg or -shade. They’re highly flexible cats, comfortable in a wide range of habitats which they can acclimate to with little hassle. Their dietary choices are often a reflection of their adaptability—they’re not, as a rule, picky eaters, and they have adventurous appetites. Although all of the Clans have a preference for nocturnal activity, a Mousestep cat epitomizes this. Their eyes are somewhat photosensitive, and they’re averse to bright lights. A high-pitched voice can sometimes be enough to override one of the other prerequisite -step traits, due to its heavy association with mice in folklore.

-

SHEEPSTEP

Prerequisite Traits

Appearance: [1] Pure white fur, [2] pitch-black fur, or [3] patched black-and-white fur.

Personality and/or Behavior: Polite, obedient, and quick to flee.

Additional Traits

Generally speaking, these cats are very in tune with their Clans, and have a great awareness of internal schisms. That perception, however, seldom translates to an ability to soothe them over. Sheepstep cats are actually conflict-avoidant, and their sensitivity to in-group tension makes them nervous. These cats are most at ease in groups that are stable or tightly-knit (like WindClan). They have a strong inclination to follow authority figures, particularly those that are stalwart or charismatic. It’s been said that when a leader is having a hard time choosing a deputy, a Sheepstep cat is consulted for their input, since they can reliably vet candidates. If a situation becomes extremely dangerous, these cats will typically be the first to either flee or call for a retreat. Although it’s not a requirement for this suffix, a Sheepstep cat is likely to have thick or dense fur that can handle being wet. Statistically, RiverClan is the most likely to produce a Sheepstep, for several reasons: of all the Clans, they tend to have the most white in their fur, with white patching being highly prevalent; their proximity to the pasture makes sheep a common sight, and thus a recurring prefix for kittens; and lastly, their waterproof double-coat is extremely similar to a sheep’s wool.

-

LIGHTNINGFALL

Prerequisite Traits

Appearance: [1] Pure white fur, or [2] yellow fur.

Personality and/or Behavior: Impulsive, intense, and fast.

Additional Traits

It’s a common stereotype that Lightningfall cats are dramatic, although it would be more accurate to say that they stand out in some manner. It’s their sudden tendency to go from unnoticed, to the center of attention, that is their hallmark. Like the abruptness of a lightning strike, which arrives without ceremony, and illuminates everything in its fleeting presence. Their actions are largely unpredictable, save to those who know how to read and recognize them. That being said, they’re not capricious or fickle cats, although to an observer it might seem that way. There’s a recurring misconception that Lightningfall cats qualify for -storm, even though they lack the characteristic turbulence and emotional mood swings. What defines them is their ability to command the undivided attention of a crowd, using a single action or a mere word, without any warning.

-

MINNOWLEAP

Prerequisite Traits

Appearance: Short and slender, with one of the following pelt colors: [1] light gray tabby, [2] silver tabby, or [3] light brown tabby.

Personality and/or Behavior: Cooperative, sociable, and intuitive.

Additional Traits

Their stature compliments their reflexes and speed (the latter of which is better suited to sprinting or short bursts, rather than endurance running). Much like a Starlingflight cat, a Minnowleap excels in synchronizing their movements with those of the cats around them, making them highly effective at teamwork. They also enjoy being immersed in busy or large crowds, and thrive on the liveliness that they so easily navigate. Minnowleap cats are nearly always part of their Clan’s Gathering party, since their presence helps reduce tension on waking nights. (And because they’re good at picking up on subtle cues, and accurately gauging the other Clans’ overall mood—be it amiable or aggressive.) They tend to have excellent recognition skills—whether olfactory or visual—which makes them useful diplomats and liaisons. (Or spies, once they’ve familiarized themselves with an enemy’s territory, and learn how to get around it undetected.) It’s best not to underestimate these cats, or be fooled by their size.

[theladyheroine]

Softer Werewolf Headcanons 🌙

❥ Hey everyone! So I know that I should be working on my Bad Batch one shots for the time being, I promise I am, but recently I’ve hit a bit of a stump? So I’m trying to get my creativity out with these little posts. I might make another small one about my crossover just to get some ideas too. But all these fall writing prompts are so cool & fun, I’ve been wanting to give it a try for awhile!

❥ Plus werewolves are one of my favorite creatures, I wanted to try writing about them! It’s also because super gorey or gothic vibes just aren’t entirely my thing, no offense do anyone that likes that genre, but I wanted to do something different! Thank you & I hope you enjoy! 🙏🙌✨

They don’t fight each other to see who’s in charge, it’s more like a sense of already knowing. Someone who already “commands” a presence or behaves more responsibly is gonna be the leader. But if there’s really a big opinion about it, they’ll just arm wrestle.

Make sure you write your name on leftovers!! Or they’ll be gone by morning, even the veggies aren’t safe…

The whole shifting during nighttime is more of an urban legend that human folk made up. However, it’s become more of a scary campfire stories werewolves use to get kids to go to bed on time. 😅 Kind of as a more spooky “If you keep making that face it’ll get stuck like that” vibe?

Werewolves can change form any time they want, but there are rare occasions they get “stuck.” This can last from 15 minutes up to a whole day.

Daily hangouts!! If a werewolf lives near a forest or near vegetation, morning hikes & walks are a must. But if a werewolf happens to live in a city or anything similar, a nice nap in the park or even breakfast on a balcony is just as good!

Dogs LOVE them!! Usually all animals do but it’s mainly dogs, even unruly or grumpy dogs will be on their best behavior! They make for good trainers if you just need a helping hand.

Regardless of appearance, werewolves are definitely stronger than the average human. While it’s not always obvious, even a scrawny guy or gal without any workout experience can lift a 30lb weight easy.

Okay these next couple points I was inspired by Cartoon Saloon animation studio, and their film Wolfwalkers. I love the interpretation Irish folklore has with werewolves!! It’s not this super eerie or gross transformation or anything, but it’s just beautiful and maybe a bit simple. The characters look completely normal in human form too! There’s nothing too odd or bizarre about them either, they’re just normal people with incredible powers! Plus the aesthetic is so beautiful and woodsy and vibrant, this is what I wanna see in werewolf movies. 🙌✨

In all honesty, when I think of werewolf vibes or even just wolves in general, I think of like an earthy colored version of fairycore. 😅 Which is also my favorite, but anyways, Wolfwalkers is literally the perfect werewolf movie I honestly can’t believe how good it is! Plus wolves are my favorite animal anyways lol so this made me happy to see.

Anywho! This next idea was inspired by the studio’s Song of the Sea and selkie mythology. I’ve always thought the idea of a magical animal cloak in mythology is sooooooo amazing! I know tales about swan maidens and other animals are a thing, but a magic fur coat is most popular with selkies. But it would be cool to have this for werewolves too! Like imagine a fluffy fur coat and when you put it on you’re a wolf!

I do like this idea better than some transformations I’ve seen. 😅 Plus, I’ve always found it strange that werewolves are sometimes “super hairy” or they’re a bit aggressive personality wise? Idk, that just doesn’t sound very nice to me. 😅

[nrdmssgs]

Any advice in making a character

Oh, I`ve got so many, I actually had to restrain myself))

Be self-indulgent! This is the most important thing to do. If any of my further tips conflicts for you personally with this one - this must always win! The main purpose of your character is for you to have fun, to get a voice, to be able to talk about whatever is important to you! Pay no attention whatsoever to people accusing you of making Mary Sue or Bella Swan. It is ok to learn, make mistakes, make characters, that will make you cringe in a few years.

Make as much moodboards as you need! 5 pinterest boards for 1 character is ok, even great! Don't hesitate to make a full moodboard for their home, even if you are planning like 1 short scene in the house.

Moodboards are good not only for pictures! Feel free to add quotes, that remind you of your OC, make playlists for them, go to your favorite clothing online catalog and pick, what would they buy from it! I for example have a thing for scents and I make perfume moodboards for characters (just helps me to feel them better). I use Miro for multimedia moodboards, highly recommend it.

Try starting your character as an 'archetype'. What I like to do is to go to this page and take a test from a perspective of my character The results often help me understand, how would my character react to different people and manage different situations. There are different personality tests, you can use. I believe, this one is the most well known, but I find my first option more helping in writing.

Character 'growth' is not obliged to be something positive. Your character can always become a worse person and it is still a growth.

'Play' with your character constantly! Even if you made them for one short text - ask yourself questions about them every now and them! Would they pick the same type of cheese as you? What was their favorite music genre, when they were 10? And now? What was the most awkward date, they ever had? Dont be shy, use writing promts to come up with little stories about them. This all will give you an indepth understanding of your character.

One of my favorite games to play with my characters is '3 interviews'. I imagine my character taking part in: 1. a talk with a psychologist 2. a cross-examination in court 3. an interview with a journalist. These are 3 situations, that motivate the same person speak on very different topics and relive different emotions. So I like to just examine their behavior. You will be surprised, how many ideas this little game adds to your character.

Don't be shy to ask others to tell you about your character. Request little stories or headcannons about them. The goal here is not to have the same perspective on your OC as your friends do. The goal is to understand, how others see them and which detail (and why) work good or bad for you. There are some authors out there, that take requests and commissions for others OCs.

It is ok to make your characters look like an average person and it is absolutely ok to make them look incredibly beautiful. Don't force yourself to change anything in your OC just because their partner is very good-looking, or because some said to you, that such a beautiful person has no place in this fandom.

Give your OC friends, hobbies, interests outside their job and love-life. Please. You will be surprised, how useful it is to keep this emotional hideout for your character.

Killing your OCs parents is not the only way to make them move out of their parents house. (don't worry, I myself have 2 OCs, whose parents are dead).

Making your OC kill someone is not the end of your OC. Your readers wont start hating them.

The more power your character has - the less freedom they get. Life of a queen is planned to the minute, life of a peasant - endless pool of possibilities))

Watch video essays where therapists talk about different characters in popular culture! There are so many ideas, you can get there for your character. My favorite channel is cinema therapy they have so many wholesome, funny, serious vid on this topic!

By the way, never be afraid to borrow some ideas.

Wanna see a trick? Ok, I'll describe briefly a character to you and you will try to guess, who am I talking about. So our guy, a middle-aged man, lives in a depressing gray world, full of violence and indifference. He loses his job and escapes his constant suffering in fantasies, where he is famous, has his own show on TV, the audience loves him and even his favorite late night show host applauds him. But these are only his fantasies, when in reality nobody care about him except for his senior mom, who genuinely loves her son. Youre thinking something like "Arthur Fleck" or "Joker"? Well, I've just described you Rupert Pupkin, the main character of 1982 American comedy "The king of Comedy", which had a great impact on 2019 film Joker.

My message here: it is not bad to revisit your favorite stories and characters and let them form your OC.

Abandoning one OC and moving on to the next is not a betrayal. Having multiple OCs for one fandom is not an inability to concentrate. Your brain produces many ideas - it is ok to give yourself creative space.

Self insert can be fun and interesting. Just don't forget, that you are not obliged to insert yourself in one and only character - you can always give your thoughts and traits to multiple characters in the story!

Your character needs flaws, not because it is a shame to write somebody perfect. They need flaws, because that will actually help them navigate through their lives.

[warpaiint]

⌜ @independentzaun ⌟ ―― B a r o n e s s - C a i t l y n . & . S e v i k a

❝ Sevika had been trying to do this quietly. She had been getting used to her new prosthetic arm enough to be able to pick locks if given just a little tiny bit more time than average. She had been trying to improve, and get faster. She had been trying not to get irritated because of the itching from her shoulder, and the absence of any real sensation from her new hand and the difficulties of the talons and the off again on again pulses of pain that sometimes decided to visit her. However Caitlyn’s comment made her hands stop for a second, and she took a long slow deep breath looking back at Caitlyn.

“You want it open, soon, Miss? As you wish.” If her new employer wanted the stupid door open soooo very quickly than open it would be. Standing up she reached out with her mechanical hand gripping the handle than shoved downwards, and than pulled upwards ripping the handle out of the door frame just before one boot came up kicking forward to slam the door open. The door itself ended up hanging off of one hinge as Sevika stalked forward. The inhabitant of the room let out a loud startled cry, but before they could move Sevika reached out grabbing a chair and hurled it at their feet not actually hitting them but as the chair shattered apart it was certainly intimidating. A moment later she turned motioning towards Caitlyn.

“The Baroness wants a word.”

She really should be more patient, but by the void that itching was annoying. ❞

Caitlyn noticed the little shifts in Sevika's shoulder, the way the weight of the metal arm seem to weigh her down a bit more than expected, ticks of irritation radiating off of her. Perhaps she would look into something to aid in the adjustment, she had some favors under her hand she could pull to get some proper improvements. "If you be so kind, yes. I'm sure they have enough money to pay for repairs," Caitlyn said, as she leaned up against a cane, the swan handle fitting her manicured fingers well, silver-tipped and her pointing resting against the head of the silver metal. Blue hair framed her face, as she watched Sevika instead of pick locking the door, literally rip the door handle off the hinges. The display of raw power just caused her to grin, as splinters fell to the ground and the door kicked in. Caitlyn turned her head slightly, making sure not to be harmed by any flying wood before walking behind Sevika as she gained the man's attention fully.

"Thank you, Sevika," Caitlyn said, as she stepped forward, her movements fluid and graceful, but an air of danger behind her back, like wings ready to rear feathery blades of steel. "It seems we have a bit of a problem, Mr. Trevor," Caitlyn said, as she lifted the cane and tapped the table he was sitting at. "We had a contract, one written in ink and stored away. I remember every word, and you… have not held up the end of your deal." Caitlyn said as she heard the man startling to stutter.

"Baroness, please, if y--" Caitlyn lifted a finger, silencing him with just a little. "Do not interrupt me, Mr. Trevor. I am not finished, and it's improper behavior to interrupt a lady," Caitlyn lifted the end of the cane from the table and place it under his chin. "If I do not have my money by the end of the week, you will be visited by one of my pretty birds. And trust me, they will not sing you a pretty song this time," Caitlyn said as she lowered her cane and smiled softly.

"Do we have an understanding? I would hate to ruin a perfectly good contract," A slick tone of a threat lingered on her lips as Trevor quickly nodded his head. "Yes, Baroness, I'll get your money to you," Caitlyn tapped the table with her nails and tipped her head toward him.

"Good, now enjoy your meal. Oh, and do replace your door, it seems your handle was broken," Caitlyn shifted to stand back full as she turned to Sevika with a nod as her cane and heels tapped against the ground, stepped back out into the street as she turned to the left and patiently waited til Sevika joined her. What she would do, Caitlyn wasn't sure. Her intimidation was a skill refined to perfect design and she did enjoy knowing it was on her side.

[blockinsider]

Bitcoin Boom: Traders Hesitant to Cash In as BTC Skyrockets to $90,000

Key Points

Bitcoin’s price has surged to $90,100, but traders are not eager to take profits yet.

Analysts believe this behavior indicates potential for further Bitcoin growth.

Bitcoin has experienced a significant rally, surging over 40% since October 12 to reach a peak of $90,100 on Tuesday. Interestingly, traders and investors have refrained from taking profits, unlike in previous periods of all-time highs.

This behavior has led many to speculate that traders are confident about further gains for the cryptocurrency in the near future.

Traders’ Behavior Indicates Confidence

Crypto analytics firm Glassnode reports that while traders are indeed profiting from Bitcoin, the profit-taking levels remain below historical peaks. This suggests that Bitcoin could potentially see further gains before reaching demand exhaustion.

Glassnode’s data shows that since Bitcoin surpassed its previous record high of $73,679 on November 5, “realized profit volumes” have averaged around $1.56 billion per day. This is a sharp contrast to the nearly $3 billion per day profit-taking during Bitcoin’s all-time high in March.

Industry experts interpret the current levels of profit-taking as a sign of confidence in Bitcoin’s future. For example, Cory Klippsten, CEO of Swan Bitcoin, described Bitcoin’s recent performance as “spectacular���, noting that the cryptocurrency has remained steady even after a significant surge.

Expectations for Further Growth

Prominent traders and financial educators, such as Robert Kiyosaki, are optimistic about Bitcoin’s potential for further growth. Kiyosaki stated that he would continue to buy Bitcoin until it surpasses $100,000.

Similarly, Chris from WealthSquad described Bitcoin’s current price as “still cheap”, predicting that once Bitcoin’s market cap surpasses that of gold, with prices around $500,000, investors will recognize the current moment as a unique buying opportunity.

Since October 13, Bitcoin has risen over 40% from a trading price of $62,507. After surpassing its March high, Bitcoin soared to $85,000 on November 11, with a record-breaking daily gain of $8,400. It then peaked at $90,100 on November 12 before stabilizing around $87,534.

Bitcoin’s rally coincides with growing concerns over the US national debt, which recently increased by $850 billion. Entrepreneur Anthony Pompliano noted that the race is now on between the national debt and Bitcoin’s price.

[cryptonewsupdate]

Layergg Analyst Predicts Ethereum's Spring Surge Amid Supply Dynamics

Ethereum, historically thriving from January to May, is poised for an accelerated 18-month growth, predicts analyst Layergg. Staking, EIP-1559, and supply dynamics, including decreasing exchange reserves, are restricting circulating supply growth. With rising demand from institutions, NFTs, and DeFi, Ethereum's prices could surge. Layergg's data highlights Ethereum's volatile journey, including a modest January 2024 uptick (+1.11%) and a projected July downturn (-3.99%). In contrast, 2023 saw a robust start (+32.44%) with fluctuations in February and July. Despite 2022's volatility, Ethereum showed resilience. The monthly average underscores May's strength (+30.91%), while June tends to underperform (-7.29%), hinting at potential seasonal behavior.

ETH's current value is $2,308.26, a 2.31% rise in a day, highlighting its volatility. Despite risks and potential black swan events, Ethereum's supply dynamics, including increased staking and deflation, offer tailwinds. Layergg anticipates an accelerated multi-month growth phase, initiating as January concludes.

[michaelbranch]

A Brief Summary of Ideas: Fooled By Randomness

*These summaries are kept intentionally very brief, just hitting what I consider some of the important/interesting takeaways, most word-for-word or paraphrased. My goal is also to stick to ideas/principals that might guide others (or my future self) in deciding the value of a read (or re-reading). T = takeaway, Q = Question

Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets

Author(s): Nassim Nicholas Taleb

We underestimate the share of randomness in just about everything.

We are not wired in a way to understand probability.

Our brains tend to go for superficial clues when it comes to risk and probability.

Hindsight bias: Past events will always look less random than they were.

Most successes are caused by very few “windows of opportunity”, failing to grab one can be deadly for one’s career.

Skewness issue: it doesn’t matter how frequently something succeeds if failure is too costly to bear.

Lucky fool: person who benefited from a disproportionate share of luck but attributes his success to some other, generally very precise, reason.

Mild success can be explainable by skills and labor. Wild success is attributable to variance.

Can’t just a performance in any given field by the results, but by the costs of the alternative (i.e. if history played out a different way).

A mistake is not something to be determined after the fact, but in the light of the information until that point.

Heroes are heroes because they are heroic in behavior, not because they won or lost.

Monte Carlo methods: creating artificial history via alternative sample paths.

Distilled thinking: based on information around us that is stripped of meaningless but diverting clutter.

The problem with information is not that it is diverting and generally useless, but that it is toxic.

Market fools of randomness constants:

Overestimation of the accuracy of their beliefs in some measure.

A tendency to get married to positions.

The tendency to change their story.

No precise game plan ahead of time as to what to do in the event of losses.

Absence of critical thinking expressed in absence of revision of their stance with “stop losses”.

Denial

Whenever there  is asymmetry in outcomes, the average survival has nothing to do with the median survival.

Asymmetric odds means that probabilities are not 50% for each event, but that the probability on one side is higher than the probability on the other. Asymmetric outcomes means that the payoffs are not equal.

An event, although rare, that brings large consequences can not just be ignored.

History teaches us that things that never happened before do happen.

Associate rare events with any misunderstanding of the risks derived from a narrow interpretation of past time series.

Statistics: the more information you have, the more you are confident about the outcome. The question is, by how much? Statistics becomes complicated, and fails us, when we have distributions that are not symmetric.

Black swan problem (by John Stuart Mill): No amount of observations of white swans can allow inference that all swans are white, but the observation of a single black swan is sufficient to refute that conclusion.

I can use data to disprove a proposition, never to prove one. I can use history to refute a conjecture, never to affirm it.

A theory can not be verified. It can only be provisionally accepted. A theory that does not present a set of conditions under which it would be considered wrong would be termed charlatanism.

Induction: going from  plenty of particulars to the general.

Unless you have confidence in the rulers reliability, if you use a ruler to measure a table you may also be using the table to measure the ruler.

Causality can be very complex. It’s difficult to isolate.

When a change in amplitude is small, it is more likely to be from noise—with its likelihood of being a signal increasing exponentially as its magnitude increases.

It is not the estimate or the forecast that matters so much as the degree of confidence with the opinion.

Nonlinearity: a very small additional input can cause a disproportionate result.

Data snooping: the more you try, the more likely you will, by mere luck, find a rule that works on past data. A random series will always present some detectable pattern.

Survivorship bias implies that the highest performing realization will be the most visible because the loser don’t show up.

[graveseer-young]

ANIMAL IN YOU .... MOUNTAIN GOAT

Mountain Goat Characteristics: Average size • Nimble • Dexterous • Creative • Unsociable • Neurotic

Scientific Name: Oreamnos americanus

Collective Term: A trip of mountain goats 

"Put silk on a goat and it is still a goat" Irish saying.  Mountain goat personalities are very much loners. Observing the goings-on from their unique perch, they are consummate voyeurs and when mingling with other terrestrial animal personalities they feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. After brief forays into their world, they must return to their place of security.

Balance is a critical component of a mountain goat's life, and they are moderate in every facet of their behavior. With conservative family values, their politics are middle of the road, and their even-keeled life has similar characteristics to that of their cousin the sheep. However, there's an air of eccentricity about a mountain goat, and this is reflected in their unusually decorated homes.

Nimble of foot and quick of mind, mountain goats are adept at extricating themselves from tricky situations. Usually though, there’re responsible for getting into these predicaments in the first place and have a habit of not learning from their mistakes. Although intelligent, they do not have much in the way of street smarts and could be considered naive. This is probably due to a lack of real-world experience.

A creature of gossip, mountain goats subscribe to the rumor mill that includes tabloid magazines and TV shows in an attempt to better understand the world of the terrestrial personalities. They love to watch soap operas and other shows depicting the tumult of human relationships. With this affinity for intrigue and gossip, they would make a great movie critics, writers, hairdressers or tabloid journalists.

If you're looking for a scout guide or hiking partner, this sure-footed beast is an ideal choice. However, its talents as a leader are suspect. Because of its solitary existence, it does not have the insight into human behavior that is required for leadership. Mountain goats are not risk takers and need to feel solid ground beneath their feet before making any major decision. Mia Farrow is an exemplary mountain goat who manages to maintain her balance while snakes and rock-falls threaten to dislodge her grip on life.

Mountain goats have a precarious existence, for while their highly evolved hooves make them master of their slippery and dangerous domain, they are challenged by the sparse vegetation found at these higher elevations. Having found a niche on slopes between two thousand and seventeen thousand feet, they feed mainly on grass and herbs during the summer and leaves in the winter.

Mountain goats are also known as ibexes, and there are seven distinct species found in Asia, North Africa, and Europe. One advantage to living in such an inhospitable environment is the lack of predators. However, snow leopards and wolves will often claim unwary individuals on the lower elevations.

Mountain goats enjoy nothing more than open-air rendezvous with their lovers, and the goat's courting behavior is simple and charming. It prefers a picnic basket on a checkered tablecloth to formal dinners with champagne and crystal, and this style is reflected in its choice of mates -- casual, quirky types with laid back personalities.

These are high maintenance lovers for a relationship with a mountain goat is an exercise in ups and downs. Even though their emotional fragility causes the premature death of many love affairs, if their partner remains faithful the mountain goat will honor it with commitment and love.

The mountain goat's elusive sensibilities don't give it a wide choice of partners. In fact, only a small number of animal personalities are even remotely compatible with this erratic creature.

The unfettered attitudes of swans, horses, sheep, and deer make for sweet and gentle unions, but it is with the soaring eagle that the mountain goat finds its spiritual communion. A shared love of freedom and appreciation for the open air makes them eternal soul mates.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Edward doesn't care so much what Bella says or thinks so long as she sits there, looks pretty, and smells delicious.

What if Bella had a very bad injury on her face? One that the origin of had nothing to do with the supernova?

God, it's only been a few days and I forget which this is from.

Regardless, allow me to amend my statement: so long as she smells delicious she's probably fine.

Now, part of what appealed to Edward later was he views her as a natural and Victorian style beauty (very waifish looking, no use of makeup, very large vulnerable looking eyes, extremely pale skin, etc.). When he does notice her, he notices her swan like neck, her flush, her lack of makeup, etc.

However, what attracts him first and foremost is the scent, and all else, all the little justifications, come long after that fact when per Alice he has realized he's in love with her. Only then, standing in her bedroom and realizing the force of his obsession, does he begin to see her as beautiful.

Before that point he finds her rather mousey and plain. Going so far as to note that she's explicitly not his type and that he's generally not a fan of dark hair or brown eyes.

Before he got a whiff, and before he had to justify his own obsession to himself, Bella Swan was only mildly above average in the looks department and nothing to write home about.

So what if we get a Bella who's even further away from Edward's ideals.

Well, he might try to convince her not to use makeup, or he might tell her she could have a better haircut, though I could see him writing these off as cute Bella quirks the way he does much of Bella's behavior that he either doesn't like or doesn't understand (there's many things in canon that make Bella 'a very silly girl').

If Bella has extreme facial scarring, then I imagine he'd come to find this a very beautiful feature as it makes her vulnerable, shows that she's been through so much already, and doesn't change the overall shape of her face (or her smell).

That's the trouble with Edward/Bella, it's very clear that it is never, in any moment, in any way, about Bella. (To be fair, it's not about Edward either, as Bella has very similar issues on her own end)

[tricktster]

the twilight series suddenly makes 100% more sense if you read them under a specific premise that, i contend, is heavily supported by the text:

Much like Amy’s diary in Gone Girl, the books in the Twilight Saga are verbatim reproductions of in-universe diary entries carefully and deliberately created and curated by badass unreliable narrator Bella Swan as a means to achieve immortality.

Prerequisite assumptions:

1) Bella actively and persistently wants to become a vampire, both diagetically and (I contend) non-diagetically. The average vampire novel format often fails to capture realistic human behavior in one highly specific area: the protagonists are frequently mortals who grapple with the choice of whether to become a vampire. This is stupid, because being a vampire would obviously be dope as hell; particularly in the Twilight Universe, where vampires are not required to take a human life to survive, and indeed, have the capacity to live full and rewarding lives while integrated* into the human community.

(*integrated-ish; see Assumption 6)

2. There are too many coincidences for Bella to have encountered the Cullens by sheer chance, only to be the ONE person that Edward can’t live without (due largely to the novelty factor of not being able to read her ding-dang thoughts.)

3. Diagetically, the Volturi don’t even know Bella’s psyonic gifts until New Moon, but we also know that the Volturi scour the globe for recruits to enlist into the protection of their governing body.

4. Nobody wants to be a voiceless cog in a bureaucracy.

5. Nobody, and especially nobody in high school, wants to be a high school student forever.

6. Vampires in twilight are, as a group, cartoonishly terrible at disguising their true nature.

7. Forks is a backwater town approximately 3.5 hours away from the biotech hub of Seattle.

7. George W. Bush and Dick Cheney can eat my farts and they deserve to be preserved in this snapshot of an innocent author’s mind slowly unraveling.

Proposed timeline:

In 1993, there is a key system meltdown at a improvised biohacking startup in Seattle, rendering all innovative genetic modification experiments into a puddle of brown sludge that nobody can figure out how to dispose of per Federal regs, since they don’t even know what it is.

The broke founder of the startup, who for the purposes of this timeline I will call Jeff Bezos because that’s who it was, eventually grows tired of all the discussion about what to do, and just pops it in a barrel, drives a few hours out of town, and dumps it in a pond.

Bella Swan, a small child, is hanging out at a park with her family friend Jacob Black (and a ton of his friends) when they all decide to wade in a slightly murky pond. Thereafter, they are transformed.

Bella grows up as a normal, highly powerful mutant with a +20 to deception checks and wisdom saves. She lives in Arizona, but up until 2002, summers in Forks. While in Forks, she picks up on the local lore about a family of vampires who don’t eat people.

Because Forks (population: 17 + Charlie’s mustache) is boring, Bella bones up on the only interesting thing about it, i.e. Vampire Hometown baybeeeee.

In 2000, George W. Bush gets elected president, and his evangelical politics and general bumbling ineptitude informs Bella’s opinions on authoritative governmental entities.

In 2001, the Cullens make their intention to move back to Forks known, but they take a while because they need to pack all their stupid graduation hats and volvos, etc.

Later in 2001, a psychic Volturi scout rolls through Forks to ensure that nobody within living memory recalls the Cullens, and notices an anomaly in the psychic field.

The scout goes to confront Bella about joining the Volturi, and Bella immediately clocks him as a vampire, because vampires in the Twilight Universe fucking suck at looking/acting human. This leaves the scout in a bind: she’s too valuable to kill, but she’s a pre-teen, and therefore too young to be transformed per Volturi authority.

The scout warns her he’ll have to kill her if she discusses the existence of vampires with any human. He then tells her he’ll be back in five years, and begins to sweet talk her on how good life will be when she’s a vampire, beautiful, immortal, powerful, etc. Bella asks if she has to kill, and dude says “nah, actually there’s a bunch of vegetarian vampires who are moving back here soon. Fucking nerds, but otherwise they’re doing well.” Bella is all about becoming a vampire, because Bella is a rational actor.

Bella moves to Arizona, and as the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are unjustifiedly initiated, she recognizes that while she DOES want to be a vampire, she does NOT want to be a foot soldier in any war that she can’t support. She needs a plan.

In 2004, Bella is watching her step-dad’s minor league baseball game when it occurs to her. On her own, she’s a target for the Volturi, but if she had some people to watch her back, she might be okay. Of course, nobody fucks with the Volturi on behalf of some rando human. She’ll need to con her way into a coven who’ll have her back and also give her that +10 to constitution via vampiric transformation, which she desperately wants because she’s a rational actor. And where are the non-volturi vampires that might have her back? Fucking Forks.

Bella moves to Forks in 2004, and upon seeing the Cullens, she immediately clocks them as vampires even though they left their “we’re all vampires” booty shorts at home, because, as previously discussed, vampires in the Twilight Universe fucking suck at looking/acting human.

Bella notes that all the vampires but one are paired off in heterosexual bliss, and takes note of the straggler as a potential vehicle to vampyrdom.

Bella figures out that Eddie can read everyone’s mind but hers, because Edward Cullen fucking sucks at looking/acting like a human who can’t read minds. Bella further observes that Eddie has a huge undead boner for her.

She’s found her mark. Now she just needs to convince him that she’s better off as part of the coven than on her own. Problem: Eddie’s a self-pitying insufferably guilt-striken perpetual adolescent who keeps himself busy by feeling sorry for himself because he’s a vampire, angst angst angst etc etc. Also, I think he’s Catholic, so add some more guilt in. She’ll have to win him over by convincing him that they’re destined to be soulmates.

What does a vampire used to having complete insight into everyone’s mind but his crush’s want? A method to know what she really thinks of him. Bella begins writing a “diary” knowing that there’s no way in hell Eddie won’t sneak in and read it. So she Gone Girls it, and begins to lay a trap to lure him in. That first diary? Twilight.

This was just in the movie but a stoner chases her around with a worm on a stick. Nothing to do with this theory, I just like that part of the movie. Where’s my spinoff about that guy?

Eddie won’t give Bella what she wants (eternal life) by the end of book 1, even though she asks him to EXTREMELY POLITELY. Time to hit the diary with some more promises of undying love.

Bella reconnects with her old friend Jacob and the rest of the Mutated By Jeff Bezos Boys. Alas, they cannot turn her into a physically powerful sexy immortal with a bite, so she’s still stuck with plan A) win over a whole family of vampires with big Mormon energy. It’s the long con.

Edward’s angst abruptly takes a swing towards terminal. He’s absolutely your classic sadboy, perhaps because Bella now has one (1) friend that he knows about.

When Eddie begins to drift away on account of Angst, Bella conjurs up a secondary love interest who, coincidentally, is ALSO a sexy supernatural entity, and is much less coincidentally just Jacob.

We should establish here that Edward is like a 107 year old white dude and so even though Diary!Bella pretends not to see it, Metatextual Frame Story!Bella knows that dude is super racist.

Jacob Black is three things: 1. Like Bella, a mutant (although one with shapeshifting abilities), 2.one of Bella’s oldest and most trusted confidants, and 3. down to clown on an elderly teenage vampire who keeps stereotyping him. Sure, says Jacob, I’ll take the form of a werewolf. He seriously thinks we’re all just beastmen, huh? Hey look at me now, I’m Regis Philbin because this is 2005 and Who Wants to be a Millionaire is still sort of relevant. Sick.

Edward does not like that Bella has one (1) other friend. Bella and Jacob plot to use this to their advantage and lure Edward back on the wings of jealousy.

Eddie gets himself into trouble on account of Angst and poor communication, so Bella has to go rescue him from himself/the Volturi.

Aro finally meets her and gets to test her powers, which impress him. Now she’s back on the fucking radar.

I forget everything that happens in Eclipse, so i have chosen to omit that part.

Eventually she extracts a quid pro quo from Eddie; i’ll marry you if you turn me into a dracula.

We don’t really call ourselves that, Wet Blanket Cullen replies, entirely earnestly.

Bella gets married at 18 in 2006, and Eddie starts to backtrack his promise about changing her. This won’t stand.

Well, look, he’s an elderly guilty catholic/mormon teen who probably still uses super racist terms, but she’s stuck on honeymoon island, he has certain angles that work for him, and seriously what are they gonna do but fuck? Bella’s alternative is listening to her “husband” drone on about his interests, which are almost certainly Car, How Do I Post a Minion Picture on Facebook, and Licorice Used To Be a Lot Cheaper in the Good Old Days.

Whoops a fetus.

Bella recognizes that she’s GOT to have this baby: time’s running out, and Bella knows that at least two of the Vamps in her coven will cut ties if she terminates or otherwise fails to carry this baby to term because of the conservative religious subtext. She’s going to have to stick it out for 9 months, even though it’s a risky call.

Bella gets what she wants after giving birth. “My time as a human is over, but I've never felt more alive. I was born to be a vampire.” That’s a direct quote. Except now she’s got a (pretty cute and easy) baby that she desperately wants to protect from Turning Into A Vaguely Religious Cullen Dressed Head To Toe In Cream Colored Wool.

Bella decides to fake her own death and escape with the kid and Jake so they can form i guess a detective agency. Bella will get “killed” by the Volturi, move to Sydney, and open up shop, and Jake will take the kid after her a few months later.

They’re gonna need a reason why Jake gets the kid though, and there’s only one reason to do anything amongst the Cullens: a heterosexual love interest with a super problematic age gap.

Jesus, Jake sighs, is Eddie really going to believe I’m in romantic love with your actual infant? Does he really think that little of me?

Yup.

Bella tries to draw the Volturi’s attention.

Works too well.

The Cullens call up all their vague acquaintances, who are at least kind of fun. Particularly that one dude who keeps getting angry about British conduct during the American Revolution.

Well, fuck, now the Volturi are bringing an army to fight their ragtag army of Vampires Who Are Cool And Interesting Enough That We Can Safely Presume They Are All Definitely Gay. Bella can’t let those guys die, they’re the first actually compelling vampires she’s ever talked to.

Bella saves the day because she’s OP.

All the Cool Vamps start packing up to leave and Bellz almost goes with them, but the Cullens would just keep sending missionaries after her if they knew.

Bella finishes her fourth journal with the vague warning that the Volturi are still out there somewhere and they miiiight just try and get her.

Two days later, she stages a scuffle and gets the fork out of Fucks. Her journals are the only clue.

Sirius Black and baby nessie follow once edward has stopped sobbing into his cream colored sweater and moved on to Extended Power Pouting.

Bella recruits her own army of fledglings.

Bella stages a coup against the Volturi and succeeds.

Bella sits on the iron throne with a hot lady vampire on each knee and they all kiss and stuff.

Nessie I guess forms a post punk band?

Edward dies from aspiration of a brussel sprout that he ate because he just wanted to feel something.

Charlie and Billy get married.

Charlie’s mustache develops a cult instagram following, providing them with a modest retirement income.

Jacob shapeshifts into Bill Murray and is always crashing weddings.

Bella’s stepdad is off in the B plot this whole time winning the world series with the help of a kooky angel.

There. Fixed. My soul is at rest.

[dwollsadventures]

Fruitadens is an oddity among the Talenta biota, culturally and scientifically. Outside, the smallest of the herbivorous dinosaurs looks quite similar to their neighboring fastieth. Closer examination reveals some surprising features. Unlike the very similar Nanosaurus, Fruitadens has an almost complete covering of short, quill-like plumage. Especially on its proportionally long tail. The skull narrows to the jaws, showing a carnivore-like shape, with its famous heterodont dentition. The large lower canine is visible externally and serves as a reminder of its bite. Fruitadens are generalists, hanging around the wetlands and rivers in the wet season and falling back to the forests during the dry season. Plants and small animals of all kinds are eaten by the critters, and they have displayed remarkable intelligence in working out how to break open mollusc shells to get at the soft innards. Their pelts are predominantly reddish-brown with whites and greys, made up of stiffened quills ending in points. Like cats they can manually raise their pelts to seem larger and prickly. Prickly is a good word for them. Their eyebrow ridges give them a constantly peeved look, which fits with their behavior. Fruitadens act ornery to make up for their small size. They're still much more likely to run than fight, but there are plenty of Talenta hunters who have been bitten for little more than accidental encounters. In their frail bones is a strong bite capable of nipping off fingers. Their attitude, appearance, and habitat of the forests of Talenta have earned them a bad reputation among the halflings, who regard them the same way the average Aundairan would regard a skunk, with a bite instead of a stink. They are not entirely without merit though. Their quills are sought after by the few scholars of the Plains as, in the absence of geese and swans and the normal sort of traveling traders, their quills are the only options for pens, and they make rather sturdy ones at that.

[delimeful]

to taste your beating heart (5)

warnings: blood, miscommunication, imprisonment, arguing

-

Logan met Virgil-- Anx’s eyes over Patton’s shoulder, and watched as his gaze went from bewildered to guarded in half a second.

In the next moment, Anx had shoved out sharply, pushing Patton away from him hard enough to make him stumble back a few steps-- just far enough to be outside the protective ward, Logan noted. 

As though to cover up the fact that he’d just stripped himself of a potential hostage, Anx stiffened up to his full height, fangs bared at them all.

“Careful!” Roman snapped in an eerie parody of Virgil’s normal catchphrase, rising to his feet as Patton narrowly avoided overbalancing.

“No, no,” Patton said, wiping at his eyes without any shame, “it’s my fault, I should have asked first. I always get kind of emotional after thralls break. My apawlegies, Anx.” He accented the words with a flap of his cat hoodie sleeve.

Logan had time to notice the way Anx’s face twisted-- a mix of confusion-amusement-wariness that was familiar from Virgil’s first weeks working with them-- before Roman cut in with a startled shout.

“The thrall is broken?!” he squawked, head whipping back and forth between Patton and Anx. “Since when?”

“None of your business,” snapped Anx.

“Pretty much as soon as I walked in!” cheered Patton, at the exact same time. He paused. “Whoops, sorry, Anx! Did you want that to be... confangdential?”

“Boo,” Roman called, instantly distracted by the bad wordplay, “That was a reach.”

Logan let his audible facepalm speak for itself. “Out of the way, please, Patton.”

Patton obligingly shuffled to the side, and with every step closer Logan took, Anx folded inwards like a snake rearing back to strike. Seeing Virgil’s body bracing for the worst at his approach made something in Logan’s chest pang oddly, but luckily he was well practiced at ignoring such things.

Once at the edge of the circle, he crouched and inspected the activation key. As expected, nothing was out of place. Logan doubted Anx had been awake long enough to even consider tampering with the circle, let alone attempt it.

Now that the ash had cooled, the spell would be vulnerable to outside influence. It wasn’t as big of a concern anymore, seeing as the thrall on Patton had been removed, but Logan wasn’t one to leave things half-done.

… Also, if left unattended, Patton would probably free the vampire without telling anyone even without being under thrall.

Logan set his palm on the activation key and nonverbally cast a warming spell, reactivating the part of the spell that singed any unauthorized fingers messing with his circle. He could add the warming charm into the circle’s layout later, when there wasn’t a twitchy vampire watching his every move.

Despite his efforts to make his spellcasting subtler than usual, Anx still seemed to go still and stiff like hunted prey when the change in the spell sent a mild warmth into the air around them. Those uncanny purple eyes flickered between all three of the hunters for a moment, and then seemed to settle for glaring at nothing.

“So, Draculame, what prompted the sudden change of heart?” Roman asked, arms crossed over his chest.

His tone wasn’t as accusatory as before, but Anx’s bristling only increased, likely at the nickname. It had taken a while for Virgil to realize Roman’s ruder habits weren’t mean-spirited. It seemed like Anx would have to relearn that.

Provided they got that far.

Shaking the rather grim thought away, Logan tilted his head at the vampire. “I’m admittedly curious as well.”

Anx hissed at them, which they probably should have expected. It probably said something about their friend that this had already been standard Virgil behavior before he’d been turned. It was almost nostalgic.

“Now, kiddos, let’s not vamptagonize him!” Patton cut in firmly, ignoring their groans. “It’s almost dawn, so how about we call it close enough to morning and have some breakfast? I’ll make pat-cakes!”

He swanned out of the room without waiting for an answer, nearly hip checking the doorframe as he went. For a moment, Logan half-expected to see Virgil fall in a half-step behind him, like a particularly emo shadow. The absence was jarring.

“He hasn’t slept tonight,” he finally said, capturing Roman’s attention. “Make sure he doesn’t use salt instead of sugar?”

“And meanwhile you will be…?” Roman prompted doubtfully. Logan rolled his eyes.

“Figuring out a way for Anx to safely move to the kitchen, as Patton no doubt wants him there,” he replied, raising a hand to forestall any protests. “I took precautions.”

Roman threw his hands up dramatically, shot Anx a warning glare, and then turned to leave.

“Ugh. There goes my appetite,” he grumbled as he stormed out the door.

Logan allowed himself a sigh and then turned to face Anx. The vampire was still staring at him oddly. “I will be placing a pair of enchanted cuffs on you. They have no chains and they will not hurt you, but if you move against any of us with malicious intent, they will freeze in place.”

“And what am I supposed to do if you move against me?” he challenged automatically, lip curling. “Stand there and take it?”

“The cuffs will not stop you from running or hiding,” Logan told him, “and you’ve proven yourself to be skilled at both of those things in the past 48 hours. None of us are planning on attacking you, but you will have options regardless.”

This wasn’t how he would have reassured Virgil, but this wasn’t the Virgil he knew, the one that trusted him. He couldn’t soothe Anx’s cognitive distortions, not when he was barely more than a stranger.

He retrieved the shiny black cuffs from a nearby cabinet. They hadn’t had a thrall aggressive enough to use them on in months. “If you’ll put your wrists forward, we can proceed. Otherwise, Patton will be bringing breakfast to you, and I’d prefer not to get syrup or blood all over this room.”

Anx eyed him warily for another few moments, but eventually Logan’s patience paid off, and he stuck his wrists out with a growl. Logan reached past the barrier without any trouble and clicked the first one into place. Before he could proceed with the second, Anx’s hand flipped around and grabbed onto Logan’s wrist tightly.

Logan’s head jerked up to meet Anx’s gaze, already shifting his weight to counter a pull, but the vampire didn’t move further, just stared at him intently. “I know what you are.”

He clearly expected some kind of dramatic reaction, but Logan wasn’t in the habit of those, particularly not for such vague accusations. “If you’ll specify?”

“You’re a witch,” Anx said. “I saw you tamper with the circle without any instruments. You have natural magic.”

Logan felt his stomach sink slightly. Logically, he knew that this wasn’t the Virgil he knew, but it still made something in him twist to think of any version of Virgil blackmailing him over his magical heritage. “And what of it?” he asked, as lightly as he could.

“You’re living in the same house as hunters. You’re doing magic right under their noses, you’re going to get yourself killed!” Anx scolded, sounding more like Virgil with every word. “Do you need help getting out?”

Logan wasn’t entirely sure what sort of face he made in response to this endearingly dense offer, but it was apparently enough to make Anx frown with uncertainty. He held a hand out for his other wrist and clicked the cuff on it without any problems, and then deactivated the circle with a simple gesture of his hand over the key.

Anx’s eyes flicked to the door, and Logan tried not to think about him darting out into the early morning sun. He turned and headed to the door.

“Follow me, and you’ll get your answer.”

While traversing the halls, Logan resisted the persistent urge to check behind him. Gone were the slight shuffled footsteps that had previously accompanied Virgil’s presence, replaced by Anx’s supernatural silence, as though he was gliding over the floor without even touching it.

He entered the kitchen, where Patton had evidently wrangled Roman into setting the table. Whether the four plates set out were out of habit or Roman reluctantly accepting Anx’s presence at the table, Logan wasn’t sure.

He cleared his throat, making both of them look up from attempting to draw funny faces with the pancake batter.

“Observe,” he instructed, and then drew a sigil in the air and lit a simple flame in his hand. Behind him, he could practically hear Anx go as stiff as a board.

“Are we showing off?” Roman asked, a bit excited but completely unsurprised. “Should I perform a monologue?”

“Great spell, Lo! No arson in the house, though,” Patton added in a bright chirp. “After all, I have enough ar-sons here already!”

Logan doused the flame by clenching a fist, giving Patton a Look that went blithely ignored. “You two are incorrigible. That was a simple demonstration.”

He turned to Anx, who looked a little shell shocked.

“As we’ve informed you, ‘hunter’ is a title that we use mostly for convenience and ease of access to jobs. We help magical beings just as often as average humans, if not more frequently.”

“We tried out ‘Protectors of the Innocent’ for a while, but it never really caught on for some reason,” Roman added, subtly sneaking a piece of bacon from the serving plate while Patton’s back was turned.

“Perhaps it would have worked better if someone hadn’t only put P.I. on all the business cards, resulting in us being mistaken for Private Investigators and all of our calls being about spousal infidelity for a solid two months,” Logan snarked back, moving past them to retrieve the orange juice from the fridge.

“The printing office charged by the letter!” Roman protested, and then recoiled from the countertop as his next attempt at sneaking ended with his fingers smacked mercilessly. “Augh! Forsaken by those dearest to me! What cruelty!”

“No sympathy for bacon thieves,” Patton chided, wielding his spatula like an instrument of mass destruction. “Go sit!”

Logan seated himself as well, and turned to Anx, who had been watching the banter play out from the doorway with a somewhat dazed expression. “You’re welcome to sit. Patton will likely insist on it, actually.”

“You people,” he enunciated slowly, “are crazy.”

“You get used to it,” Logan assured him with the certainty of someone who had heard this exact phrase from Virgil before. He checked his watch. “It has been some time since you last ate. I can retrieve some stored blood from our refrigerator.”

“Actually,” Patton set a plate stacked high with pancakes in the center of the table with a plonk, “I figured I could just be Anx’s donor for a while!”

Roman, who had just stolen a sip of Logan’s orange juice, did a movie-perfect spit take, and Patton slid the pancake stack swiftly out of range of the spray.

“It will be 55 days before you are viable for another blood donation,” Logan recited the fact automatically, but he was just as thrown off as Roman.

“Not if he drinks from me directly!” Patton retorted, a beacon of cheerful composure.

“What?” All three of them replied, at varying levels of screech.

Anx shot a wild-eyed look at the room at large and took a step back, as though physically distancing himself from the idea.

“Patton, you can’t be serious!” Roman pushed his chair back and stood, looking distraught. “Fangs For The Memories over here might look like Virgil, but he’s proven quite thoroughly that he’s not! We just got you un-thralled, clearly he can’t be trusted not to take advantage of you!”

Logan noticed Anx wince, though he couldn’t tell whether it was from the harsh assessment or Virgil’s name being spoken.

“Me not being thralled anymore is exactly why we can trust him not to hurt me,” Patton said, chin tilted up stubbornly. “He doesn’t know what he did wrong, but he fixed it anyway! That’s more than good enough in my book.”

“Well, maybe your book needs some copyediting!” Roman snapped back, exasperated. “So his unbeating heart isn’t as completely shriveled up as it originally seemed! So what? That doesn’t change the fact that he was the one who thralled you in the first place!”

Logan cut in, physically moving between them to break up the beginnings of a shouting match.

“I have to agree that this is a bad idea, for a multitude of reasons,” he started, raising a quelling hand before Patton could protest. “The matter of Anx’s trustworthiness aside, you shouldn’t be directly donating blood to any vampire. It is an unnecessary risk to your mental and emotional well being.”

“Thank you,” Roman said, apparently keen to seize allies where he could. He gestured expansively, looking at Patton with earnest eyes. “You’ve come so far, Pat. We don’t want to see any of your hard work undone. Virgil wouldn’t want that either; you know he’d fight this harder than any of us.”

Patton’s face had softened at their-- Roman’s sentimental worrying, but even bringing Virgil into it couldn’t sway his determined course.

“I know you guys just want me safe, but this is something I need to do. Even if it is a risk, I can’t be held down by this fear forever. And who better to help me than Anx!”

“Literally anyone who hasn’t threatened to kill everyone here in the last 48 hours,” Roman moaned, dragging his hands down his face.

“Besides,” Patton continued, undeterred, “this way we don’t have to worry about our emergency transfusion supply going low! It just makes sense.”

Logan had to begrudgingly agree. Between the hassle of trying to explain why they suddenly needed significantly more blood and the fact that a vampire drinking directly would replenish blood cells at a much higher rate than drawing blood, the best option really was to have a direct donor. He simply didn't want it to be Patton.

Unfortunately, his odds of actually being able to stop Patton were quite low.

“Nothing about any of this makes sense,” Anx grumbled, having retreated to the hall like a skittish feral cat.

The vampire seemed almost more unsettled by the idea than either of the other objecting parties, despite being the only one who directly benefited from the hypothetical arrangement. Nervous about their responses if he agreed, perhaps?

“We can at least give it a shot!” Patton insisted, coming a little closer to Anx and reaching out to gently pat his shoulder. It spoke volumes that the touch wasn't brushed off or rejected. “It could end up helping us both! And if it doesn’t, we’ll just find another way! You won’t be in trouble for messing up, okay?”

Anx blinked, slowly, still looking somewhat unconvinced that this was reality. Still, after a few moments of exposure to Patton’s encouraging smile, he dipped his head in a nod.

“Okay.”

[justsomerandomntmranking]

Angela Lehmann

Place: Winner

Average: 3.5

Even though the obvious winner was snubbed of her win, Angela was not a terrible winner whatsoever. It was clear that the judges were in love with her as soon as she walked in. Just check out the show where she got 3 FCOs back to back, even in strong (and weak) weeks, they always found a way to praise some of her worst (or best) shots. I did say it at the beginning but during the first half of the competition, she was quite underrated by the judges. Her underwater is quite pretty and although her runway was an absolute mess in the beginning of the cycle (check out her video shoot on the 2nd episode), she was able to pull off a decent phone ad. I do kinda like her dance shot but it is easy to admit that it is a pretty weak shot in comparison to the rest of the week and admittedly, one of her worst shots in retrospect. However, after her weak start, she was able to climb slowly up and up in improvement. While I did say that her cat beauty was one of my favorites from her, there are some flaws to it that ruin it for me (mainly her one eye not being fully closed). Still, it’s a great effort considering how much she struggled on set. After that, this is where my biggest issue for her would come along, the judges would start overhyping her to the extreme. Her FCO on the androgynous week still baffles me to this day, it makes no sense how she got the highest score from panel considering Janny’s outstanding performance that week. I could see how her Alter Ego got the FCO considering how the 2 strongest performance were given a B2 placement for no reason and I do love the shot itself, however, there were just better shots that week, you see the pattern yet? The swimwear week was fucking terrible but she got the FCO due to her professional behavior on set, even though Ina and Adela had far better shots. However, I will say that after her awful commercial, she started to really grow for me and I can finally see what the judges saw. Her glow in the dark is stellar as we saw a new side to her that wasn’t either confusion or blank. Her 2 finale shots may have not been my FCOs but they’re still great, especially her avant garde, which I now consider her personal best. She never got a FCO out of me though because as before mentioned, there was always someone else better that the judges overlooked or ignored. Adela, Ina, Aivie, Janny, even Blaise, all of them were much better contenders for a FCO over Angela who often I found forgettable or boring in the vast majority of her photos until the last 2 weeks when she stepped her ass up. Obviously, her improvement is admirable and she had a great personality but there were just stronger girls this cycle. It felt odd that Angela ended up with the win but at the same time, I understood it. The judges fell in love with her look and she had the perfect goose to swan story to them. I, however, never hated or loved her, I just forgot about her a lot whenever it came down to ranking. She’s not a bad winner per say at all, her vast improvement and her dedication to improving is one of the best arc of the cycles and I do think some circles of the internet have underrated her. I think if she wasn’t pushed to the finale, then it would’ve gone down easier for people but as for now, she was a ok winner, but a sour taste to end the cycle with.

(I want to add that Angela had no post work for me to choose from, only Adela and Ina had anything for me to pick from)

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

Into The Dark Side pt 1

So I wrote this a few months ago, and I wasn’t gonna post it until it was finished, but it felt kinda relevant after yesterday’s episode so here, take it

No Spoilers!! I didn’t add anything since yesterday (except for like fixing some grammar mistakes) so none of it was influenced by the ep. It’s an AU either way

Word Count: 2400

Rating: Teen

Pairing: gen

Warnings: swearing, suggestive language, threats of violence (Remus stuff)

~~~START~~~

“I want you to make me a Dark Side.”

Deceit raised an eyebrow at both the odd request, and the fact that the other Side thought he could just barge into his study without knocking. “Excuse me?”

“I know that you control the separation between the so-called ‘Light Sides’ and the ‘Dark Sides’. I want you to turn me into a Dark Side.”

“Indeed,” Deceit replied thoughtfully, leaning back in his chair. He was hoping to come off as casual and aloof, but on the inside, he was completely lost. “I definitely follow. Light Sides ask to become Dark Sides all the time, it’s never the other way around.”

“Thomas frequently asks for my opinion, but once I have given it, my opinion is ignored. I believe my function would be performed more efficiently if I were working behind the scenes, so to speak.”

“Yes,” Deceit leaned forward, steepling his gloved fingers under his chin. “Because Dark Sides are known for being listened to and respected.”

“If my opinion is not going to be listened to, then I would prefer everyone stop asking for it.”

“Hmm, very well. I won’t fulfill your request, but just know, everything in life is free. There is never a price to pay.”

“I do not care. I shall pay, whatever the price.”

Deceit smirked at the other Side, and held out one hand. “Then won’t you shake a poor sinner's hand?” He purred, watching the other Side closely.

He took Deceit’s hand without hesitation and was immediately engulfed in a blinding yellow light. The last thing he heard before losing consciousness was Deceit muttering “transformation central.”

~~~

“-you to make me a Dark Side-”

“-definitely follow-”

“-opinion is ignored-”

“-never a price to pay-”

“I do not care.”

Logan woke up in his bed, glasses still on his face. His room looked exactly the same except everything was in black and white.

Odd. Do all Dark Sides see in monochrome or is this some sort of practical joke played by Deceit?

He was scanning around the room, trying to decipher whether or not Deceit held up his side of the bargain, when he noticed that the lights were off. A glance at the clock told him that it was 5:30 am, much too early for him to be able to see anything more than vague outlines without a light on, let alone the most minute details on his periodic table poster.

Extremely odd indeed.

Cautiously, Logan made his way across the room to the light switch. He flicked the lights on, and suddenly all the colors of his room returned.

Interesting

Curiously, he switched the lights off again. Everything lost color immediately, but not clarity.

Very interesting. Perhaps Dark Sides can see in the dark. Further testing is required.

Leaving the lights off — he could see perfectly well in the dark so why waste electricity? —Logan headed to the bathroom attached to his room to begin his morning ablutions. He didn’t make it very far, however, because as soon as he caught sight of his reflection, he realized why he could see so well in the dark.

Ah, this is what Deceit must have meant when he said there was a price to pay.

All Dark Sides had animal traits. Deceit had snake scales covering random parts of his body, as well as a single snake eye and a forked tongue. Lust - while technically a Neutral Side - had black markings around his eyes, as well as having swan-like wings that jutted out from his back. Apathy also had black marks around his eyes - though his trailed down his face while Lust’s swooped back towards his ears - as well as an overly-large fuzzy sweatshirt that’s sleeves extend well past the tips of his fingers. Greed had intermittent scales like Deceit, though his were larger and shinier, and sometimes smoke came out of his mouth. Jealousy had opposable toes and a prehensile tail. The Duke had tentacles. And Anxiety… Well, Anxiety hid his animal traits well, but Logan was sure that he had some somewhere.

(And then of course there was Malice, Pride, and Rage, but while Logan was aware of their existence, he had never seen them before, and therefore did not know what animals they were represented by, nor how their traits manifest.)

Logan now had animal traits too. His glasses were now round with thick frames, and while his prescription hadn’t changed, they were now magnifying his eyes, making them look overly large and round. His eyebrows had gotten bushier and seemed to be permanently downturned, making him appear to be perpetually glaring. And worst of all, his hair no longer lay flat in a simple, professional style, but rather created two spikes on his head that seem to line up with the angle and trajectory of his eyebrows.

He was an owl. A great horned owl to be precise - and while owls were not known to be any more intelligent than any other type of bird, Logan understood that Dark Sides’ animal traits came from Thomas’ perception of animals, rather than from the actual behaviors of said animals.

This shall… take some getting used to. Still, it’s hardly a great price.

After several minutes of trying - and failing - to get his hair to lie flat, he gave up and decided to just start his day like he always did - with a strong cup of coffee and a nice, healthy breakfast.

Perhaps the hardest part of getting to the kitchen was that, other than his room, everything in the Dark side of the mindscape was a mirror image of how it was in the Light side, though, the fact that there were significantly more doors, and a good number of extra hallways that Logan — even with his more enhanced night vision — could not manage to see down didn’t help. It took him longer than he’d like to admit to make it to the kitchen, and when he got there, he was surprised to find he was not the only one awake.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Anxiety was sitting on top of the fridge, eating chips right out of the bag, and staring down at him.

Logan bristled a bit, which unfortunately meant his hair and clothes flared out like feathers on an agitated owl.

Unfortunate. I should make a note of that for the future.

Thankfully, Anxiety didn’t laugh at him (he wants to, though), instead he just continued to stare at Logan expectantly.

“What’s with the owl getup?”

“Ah, that. I made a deal with Deceit to become a Dark Side.” Logan answered, trying to regain his dignity. Anxiety stiffened at the answer.

“What was the price?” Anxiety demanded, gaze scanning quickly over the room, resting for a moment on a dark hallway that didn’t exist on the Light side, returning to Logan only when he found nothing to be out of place or unusual other than Logan himself.

“This, I presume,” Logan stuck his arms out to show off his unfortunate shirt-feathers. “I’ve become part owl. A bird characterized in popular media as being exceptionally smart, though in reality is of average intelligence for avians. A more accurate choice would have perhaps been a crow or a parrot, both of which are not only considered smart for avians, but for animals in general.”

Anxiety began shaking his head long before Logan finished his rant. “The animal traits are part of the gig, teach, not the price. What did Deceit ask for in return for making you a Dark Side?”

“I, uh, do not know,” Logan admitted slowly. In his haste to become a Dark Side, he had brushed off Deceit’s mention of a price, and now he was faced with the fact that he didn’t know what he paid.

“You don’t know?” Anxiety asked incredulously. Perhaps Logan should have been a little more like Anxiety. Anxiety would have never made a deal if he didn’t know exactly what the deal was, his overly cautious nature was what made Thomas double check the locks in his apartment before going to bed.

“No… I do not.”

“For being the smart one, you sure are a clueless moron.” Anxiety jumped off the fridge in one fluid motion, landing lightly - almost silently - on his feet in front of Logan. “C’mon, we’re gonna go ask Deceit what you paid.”

There was no room for argument as Anxiety grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of the kitchen. Anxiety didn’t appear to be thrown off by the mirror image layout, or by the mysterious extra doors and hallways, but Logan supposed that was to be expected.

He has always lived here; he would know his way around much better than I. In fact, he would probably describe the Light Side as being a mirror image, despite the fact that it has the same basic layout as Thomas’s apartment.

“What are these extra hallways?” Logan asked curiously as they passed by two, one on either side. “And there appear to be a great number of extra doors.”

“Don’t go down hallways you can’t see down, and don’t open doors if you don’t know where they lead,” Anxiety ordered sharply instead of giving a proper answer.

“Why?” Anxiety let out an annoyed hiss, and yanked Logan to a stop.

“Just. Don’t.” He released his grip on Logan’s wrist and turned to the door that they’d stopped in front of. “We’re here.”

Anxiety rapped on the door three times. Nothing happened.

“Dee!” He called, knocking again, louder. “I know you’re in there! Open the d-”

The door flew open suddenly, banging loudly from its impact with the wall. A tentacle shot out of the impossibly dark room, wrapped around Anxiety’s wrist, and yanked the Side into the abyss before Logan could even process what was happening.

Barely a second later, another tentacle wrapped around Logan’s wrist, and yanked him into the room as well. The tentacle let go of him, and the door slammed shut again behind him, cutting off the only source of light in the pitch-black room.

“Anxiety!” A voice chuckled. “You never come to visit me! Oh I’m so touched!”

“Get off of me, Duke!” Logan could hear struggling a few feet away where both the Duke and Anxiety’s voices were coming from - as well as an interesting squwelshing noise. “I’m looking for Deceit, why are you in his room?”

“Oh, emo, you’re so funny!” The Duke laughed. “Deceit’s gone.”

“WHAT?”

“Oh yeah, seems he made a trade with a certain, discontent Light Side. I came across this empty room this morning and though it could fit sooo many butts in here, so it’s mine now!”

“Though I loathe to place myself in the middle of this conversation,” Logan interrupted. “Why can’t I see anything?”

“Cuz it’s not your room, dipshit,” Anxiety snapped.

“Now, Anxie, be nice to the nerd,” the Duke cooed. “He’s not from here.”

Suddenly, the lights flickered on, allowing Logan to take in their surroundings for the first time. The room was empty other than for himself and the other two Dark Sides, with nearly pristine white walls and carpet - though a splattering of… interesting colors littered the area around the Duke’s feet. Logan was about a foot away from the door with a tentacle reaching past him towards the light switch.

The Duke was standing in the approximate center of the room, about five feet away from Logan. His two human arms were wrapped around Anxiety, trapping his arms to his sides, lifting him off the ground, and clutching him to the Duke’s chest, while two of the Duke’s tentacles are wrapped around his legs to keep the anxious Side from kicking.

“Great,” Anxiety commented sarcastically. “Now lemme go you slimy-“

The Duke’s final tentacle wrapped around Anxiety’s head like a gag, cutting off whatever expletives were about to come out of his mouth.

“That’s better!” The Duke cheered. “Oh! My my, Anxiety, I didn’t know you were so kinky!”

The words spurred on another round of struggling from Anxiety, but the Duke held fast.

“Now, Archimedes,” the tentacle that had turned the lights on then wrapped around Logan’s wrist and pulled him closer to the conversation, though it was considerably gentler than when it had dragged him into the room - less like being kidnapped and more like having a child excited to show him something. “You can’t see in the dark in other Side’s spaces, it’s rude! You can only see in the dark in your room, and the common spaces.”

“What about all those hallways I couldn’t see down?” Logan asked, ignoring the silent glare coming from the trapped Anxiety.

“Oh those?” The Duke leaned in close enough that Logan could smell his foul breath. “Those are where the Darkest Sides live. The ones that give poor wittle Morality and Anxiety nightmares.” The Duke punctuated this by licking Anxiety’s cheek. “The ones that Deceit keeps under strict lock and key because even he’s afraid of letting them out.”

“Pride, Rage, and Malice,” Logan guessed.

“And me, of course.” The Duke dropped Anxiety in order to pose dramatically, arranging his tentacles around himself menacingly, but artistically.

Definitely Roman’s brother.

“But as I’m sure you know, Raerae, Octopi can fit through any opening they can get their beak through. All Deceit’s horses and all Morality’s men can’t keep me in the darkness forever. Every now and then, I get out and share all my fun ideas with Thomas.”

“Your ideas aren’t fun!” Anxiety hissed from the corner where he’d retreated to as soon as the Duke had released him. Logan noted his defensive stance, darkened eyeshadow, and involuntary hissing, and wondered if Anxiety’s animal traits were perhaps that of a racoon. “Now let us out!”

“Sorry, Tickle Me Emo,” the Duke giggled. He reached a tentacle out to open the door, but instead of the dimly lit hallway Logan and Anxiety had come from, beyond the door was pitch black. “I can’t open doors to the Dark Side unless someone lets me — like you did earlier when you knocked — but since Jay Jay the Jet Plane’s flown the coop, ~no one’s gonna come looking for you,~” the Duke advanced towards Anxiety, his posture and tone becoming less friendly and more menacing. “It’s just you, me, and Pigwidgeon here.”

~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~

To be clear: Lust is a swan, Apathy is a sloth, Greed is a dragon, and Jealousy is monkey

Ten points if you guess Virgil’s animal traits

Twenty points if you guess what Pride, Malice, and Rage are

General Taglist: @royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple

[enki2]

Both Neoreaction: A Basilisk and Postcapitalist Desire try to act as a vaccine against the Nick Land infohazard, but what i’ve found more effective is actually The Vision Of Escaflowne. (ymmv)

I think the mistake Nick Land makes is the same one as evil Isaac Newton / Emperor Dunkirk. It’s the same mistake that Scott Alexander makes in the second half of Meditations on Moloch. In complex systems, black swan situations are always possible and can create radical and permanent change.

Land has inured himself to a system he recognizes as horrible, and even writes an apologia for it, because he has convinced himself (by analyzing abstracted eye-of-god dynamics) that it’s inescapable. But escape always comes from the unknown & the unknowable.

Land (by failing to pay attention to the possibilities of minor literatures) has locked himself into a reductive view of alterity: his outsideness is always not just inhuman but antihuman in exactly the same mechanical way as capitalism. Real alterity engages the high weirdness of strange loops with consciousness.

(The key is that Escaflowne really leans into the way divination opens the door to high strangeness and time paradoxes.) And Hitomi learns that trying to control dynamic systems in a top-down way is counterproductive, and that instead she should be surfing the dynamics of the system of which she is a part.

Land talks about dynamic, diverse, and unpredictable systems but he always talks about them as though from an outside perspective, through a lens of predicting them based on a simplified aggregation. A serious engagement with cybernetics will involve Stafford Beer, who shows this can’t work.

I’m not thinking of Hitomi as a really alien element in Escaflowne. Even if there are no alien elements, it’s a mistake to expect the average or expected behavior to always win over time.

The world always contains innumerable minor currents, invisible from a bird’s-eye-view perspective. While each one has an infinitesimally small chance of changing general tendencies in a measurable way, one or another frequently ends up shifting the whole world order dramatically, at which point we retroactively treat it as important.

The apparent immortality and inevitability of global capitalism could be taken down by something as trivial and everyday as a love triangle, a tarot spread, a dropped penny… These things operate by material logic but cannot be predicted ahead of time because it is a waste to measure at that granularity.

Instead, we only reconstruct what *did* happen retroactively, once the changes are irreversible, at which point it becomes inevitable. (This is why Hegel emphasized the dynamics of history as a process that always constructs the story of history backwards from the present.)

In other words: the outsideness (like the devil) is always-already present in the details too apparently trivial to measure or calculate.

Those things that are not reproducible because they involve reactions and interactions too improbable to model — even when operating by known material laws, these anomalies are the natural domain of magick.

Land isn’t really concerned with the impossibility of novel combinations so much as the impossibility of *dominant* combinations of novel components — which is to say that he cannot imagine, ahead of time, a single specific system guaranteed to successfully supplant capitalism. Which means he’s not a great Deluze scholar, & missed the point of minoritarianism.