#average guys who call another man their “partner”

[eastbluecrewed]

some kidkiller scribbles........ udon broke something in my brain all i can do is kidkiller brainrot an d die

[sunsguilt]

SMASH OR PASS WITHOUT THE SMASH !┊ft: all nrc characters!

warnings: none! contains: gn reader

notes: this is essentially a dateability ranking in terms of pure survival and living your best life. i love all the characters dearly, and this is just for fun!

HEARTSLABYUL

riddle rosehearts: don’t get me started on him. hypothetically, let’s say he has a single romantical bone in his body. he would probably (definitely) want to date someone his mother would approve of, so someone who’s super studious and thinking about becoming a lawyer type of thing. even then, his mother would be the overbearing MIL stereotype, and riddle would just bend to her every whim, so it wouldn’t work. would probably divorce you if his mom said to. 

overall rating: 2/10, could be a nice cushy life if he took his penchant for memorizing rules into a lawyer profession and became a rich husband, but still the MIL…. you would end up on r/relationshipadvice within weeks, i’m afraid. 

ace trappola: he’s like a frat boy to me, honestly. I think you could be friends with him within reason, but if you actually date him… he’s the kind of guy who would pursue you and then get bored once u start dating. whoops, he had a consensual workplace relationship. he canonically ghosted his ex, guys. 

overall rating: 3/10, you would be dating a frat boy. you don’t want that for yourself, trust me, speaking from second-hand experience here. 

deuce spade: deuce is actually normal. like he’s no rich boy, but his family is respectful and his mother would adore you if he brought you home. he’s a little slow, but he’s got the spirit, y’know? 

overall rating: 6/10, very nice in-laws, very cool husband. you may end up being the primary breadwinner. 

cater diamond: with cater, it’s probably a bromance that turns into a real romance. mostly because he didn’t want to confess and ruin the whole thing you had going on together. likely a guy who needs a lot of validation from his partner. like he’ll say he hates pickles if you don’t like pickles. will not let a pickle pass his lips. will try his very hardest to convince you to do silly couple challenges.

overall rating: 8/10, he’s sooooo cute but he’s got unresolved mental instability like you wouldn’t believe. personally, i love that in a man. call me fix-it felix.

trey clover: trey is. trey. average guy whose family runs a bakery. he’s cute though!

overall rating: 5/10, he’s probably a freak in terms of intimate relations! teehee! no further comment.

SAVANACLAW

leona kingscholar: leona is a nice guy, respectful etc. but after a while, he’s not putting the same energy into the relationship as you are. the added layer of dating a literal prince…. no matter how disregarded he is by his family, he is second in line for the throne. the pressure from that sounds crazy, i won’t lie. you might be able to ignore the pressure of him bringing you home to straight up royalty ! overall rating: 5/10, he’s so dreamy and gorjus but he wears uncle sandals. jack howl: oh he’s so bf material, like you don’t understand. him being really firm on the fact that beastmen choose a life partner? wanting to fall in love and be committed to someone until his dying day? this is Romance. he's probs a good guy to bring to the gym for support if you’re just starting to work out regularly! might accidentally push you past your limits bc he’s thinking beastmen standards and not human. overall rating: 7/10, he’s so cute and i love him, but he’s a gym bro and does daily early morning jogs and such. cannot accept it. ruggie bucchi: he’s actually another really normal guy to date! he’s shown to do anything to provide for his loved ones (bringing food home from school to provide for his friends and family). very much an acts of service guy! 

overall rating: 4/10, the chances are high that he’ll do that thing that broke dudes do when they get all touchy and hug their partner when the partner pulls out their card to pay for something. 

OCTAVINELLE

azul ashengrotto: he would be nice to you ONLY if he had something to gain. would actually play the long game in order to sweet-talk you into signing some contract that totally screws you over forever. he is a capitalist at heart, i fear. he’s gonna get you in some get-rich-quick scheme. also, he can’t kiss and it would be weird and a lot more drool than necessary.  overall rating: 6/10, i love octopus.

jade leech: oh god. he’s like visually appealing but the longer he's talking, the worse it gets. his hobby would literally be getting your heart rate up. you’d be lucky if you don’t get high blood pressure from his desire to see your face twist in an ugly expression. he has a penchant for learning, so he’ll want to research the topic of his interest to the fullest to get the desired results.  overall rating: 3/10, the moment he’s tired of you, he’ll never speak to you again outside of a professional setting. floyd leech: he wants to have fun every day he can. which is fine, nothing wrong with that. the problem lies when he wants to rope you into it. and his idea of fun is….. questionable. he would call you up in the middle of the night and ask if you wanna go for a joyride that takes you over state lines. and you would only get like three minutes notice. he would also invite himself into your dorm and sleep in your bed. no, he’s not making the bed either, the guy canonically has to be forced into ironing his own shirt.  overall rating: 3/10, he looks like he bites unironically. would you get rabies if a humanized eel bit you?

SCARABIA

kalim al-asim: oh he’s so sweet, but the only problem is literally the fact that he’s rich. he frequently talks about multiple attempts on his life in his youth up until the present day. if people outside of your circle found out you were with him, word would surely spread to unwanted ears, and your life would be at risk because of that immediate association.  overall rating: 6/10, a total sweetheart, but i don’t think i’d be able to eat breakfast with him without wondering if something’s in our food. jamil viper: he has too many underlying issues that include but are not limited to: an inferiority complex that exists due to his forced proximity to kalim. as much as i’d love to say i could fix him, jamil almost killed kalim. Plus, jamil is literally kalim’s servant. association with kalim = will probably die. overall rating: 5/10, he’s got issues, but he’s so cute and probably just needs that reassurance or whatever. my silly guy!

POMEFIORE

vil schoenheit: vil is like my fav so i’d love to say that because he’s so nice and rich and pretty that he would be a perfect ten. WRONG. he’s famous. bad! what if he has crazy stans who go after you bc you’re dating him? for your own safety, you would never be able to go public with your relationship, that is if the tabloids don't get to you.  overall rating: 7/10, you’ll have to listen to him go on tangents about neige. 

rook hunt: if you’re thinking “yeah no he’s probably a safe bet, he’s rich and i could be his trophy wife/husband”, you like french people and you’re lying to yourself !!!!! ive never met a normal rich person in my life, and rook is no exception. he would know your shoe size before you even know his last name. 

overall rating: 0/10, he’s weird AND french.

epel felmier: he lives in a small town where everyone tends to know each other and their business. there’s no hiding your relationship from them. downside is, he would have a crazy inferior complex if you were taller than him. He needs to be a Man’s man, yknow??? overall rating: 6/10, he’s a good cook, an incredible one, even. if you can’t cook and you can deal with a man who desperately wants to show you how cool he is, then this is the one for you. 

IGNIHYDE

idia shroud: he wouldn’t date, like he’s a NEET guys, i don’t see it at all. He would marry someone if it was for tax reasons, or just to tell people he isn’t bitchless. you'd just go to a courthouse real quick and pop by an ihop after.  

overall rating: 6/10, he would be an incredible overwatch carry. would bully you for sucking super hard in any type of pvp game. 

ortho shroud: he’s like a child, so he is not included! 

overall rating: 0/10, in terms of dateability, he’s silly tho

DIASOMNIA

malleus draconia: you would be perfectly safe with him. yeah, he’s not fully clear on the norms of human society, but he treats you well! problem is, he'd be a little too obssessed and its going to very quickly turn into "he's going to keep u in this tower bc hes scared abt u dying"

overall rating: 7/10, wouldn’t you love a loser man who is obsessed with gargoyles?!  silver: objectively, the world’s most perfect man. he’s super cute and can cook! everything you would want in a man. he's also got his wacky little sitcom type family like step brothers who are Not human and a dad who is Not human but like they care for him he cares for them! 

overall rating: 9/10, no real drama and they'd probably be elated if he brought someone home.  sebek zigvolt: he would choose malleus over you every time, i’m so sorry. like “sorry babe malleus needs help shining his sword or whatever, you can start the movie without me.” realistically the only time sebek could be in a relationship is if he finds someone whos as obsessed with malleus as he is so they can be hyperfixated on him together or something. like how kpop stans marry each other, but with malleus the dragon prince. 

overall rating: 2/10, he would use you has a human dishrag to clean shoes for malleus.  lilia vanrouge: everyone loves a fictional old man, but this particular old man comes with trauma and emotional baggage spanning centuries. You can only fix-it felix your way out of so many things. he’s cute, though. 

overall rating: 4/10, canonically picks his nose, i fear.

— ☆

[yanderestarangel]

HEADKANONS MORTAL KOMBAT | "WHAT IS THE SEXUAL DIFFERENCE WITH THE S/O OF THE TWO JOHNNY CAGE?"

TW: afab anatomy, aggressive sex, age gap, fluff, v!sex, degradation, possessive sex, red flags, dilf johnny cage, mk1 and mk11 canon spoilers, pet names, smut, daddykink.

↺ OLD JOHNNY CAGE - MK11 ↺

He is the typical hot dilf man you meet at the grocery store buying groceries and talking about how expensive they are, starting a conversation with you in line while working up the courage to ask you out, but forgetting to ask for your number.

OLD!JOHNNY CAGE - would take it slow with you not wanting to scare you, his company was relaxing and calming, making you feel safe and secure. He likes to tell dad jokes, after all, he is one, but he wouldn't mind going out with you, someone who is practically his daughter's age, after all, he knows he's better than a lot of young guys out there. He is a man who lived a lot, after his marriage and death he knew how to act and how to really please his partner.

He would talk to you on the phone sometimes before the date, just to get to know you even more.

OLD!JOHNNY CAGE - will pick you up at home with his car, it's not something luxurious, after all, he became detached from luxury as soon as he married Sonia and joined the military.

He would take you to a fine restaurant in the city, being a gentleman pulling out the chair for you to sit, and making you comfortable enough to talk to him. He wouldn't bring up the subject of Sonia's death, because it was a painful subject, he would always love her, but now he had to move on with his life, and if you wanted, it could be with you.

He knows he's seductive, even though he's 56 years old, he looks much younger too, always wearing shirts that expose his physique, especially his biceps, but he does it naturally, with a heartthrob charm, something he knows well be.

He likes to buy you dinners, being a gentleman, not out of pride but because he likes to see your smile on your face, but if you want to be independent go ahead, he likes people with attitude.

OLD!JOHNNY CAGE - would make you an announcement like "Hey, we've been hanging out together for a while, how about making it official sweetie? Will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend?" -He just said, looking at you, while taking a promise ring out of his pocket, giving you the choice of whether it was his or not. If you say "yes" get ready for a crazy ride with a crazy hot old man.

OLD!JOHNNY CAGE - is a man with an above average libido for his age, he knows how to take care of you, loving to eat out, especially if you call him "my old man" he took that nickname for himself, so you can expect Johnny discreetly rubbing his hips against you with his pulsing cock full of semen, ready to fill you up, while whispering softly in your ear: "-Fuck baby, look what you did to your old man... Making my cock hard like that , you know Daddy is going to fuck you now right?”

OLD!JOHNNY CAGE - is a soft dom, he likes to dominate you, see you whimper beneath him, but he will always prioritize your pleasure first, always working on your clitoris with his mouth and fingers - he knows how to suck extremely well, curling his fingers inside gives your pussy, even if you like it, doing a tongue job on your ass, he also loves anal, so if you let him, he will fuck you in all the holes, with a constant rhythm, dominant but affectionate -

You won't get a punishment from him, don't even try, he's a trained man, if you try to make him jealous so he can fuck you roughly - even moaning another name in bed won't help - Johnny will just laugh and shrug his shoulders -

"-Baby, I'm too old for this, it won't help, if you want me to be ruder, just say ok?" -Cage would say, smiling at you while winking, it was true, if you wanted aggressive sex, just say so, but your dilf boyfriend would guarantee that you wouldn't be able to walk for a long time.

He likes to praise you during sex, not being a big fan of degradation, but if you want, he can mix the two.

"My beautiful little slut"

"You're a good slut with a beautiful pussy, you know that?"

"Such a naughty prince/princess... I love your little pussy in my fucking cock..."

"Yes take my dick like the good boy/girl you are."

He likes to cum all over you, breasts, ass, pussy, belly, thighs and face, everything needs to be properly marked for him.

OLD!JOHNNY CAGE - who likes to fuck you in every corner of the house, lifting you in his arms while he hits your hard dick against your clitoris, making you squirm on his dick - he's vasectomized, meaning you don't need to worry in getting pregnant by him - he will fill you with cum, praising you for taking everything he gave you - "-Yes... my good boy/girl, taking all your old man's cum with that beautiful pussy, you deserve a reward you know? " -

↺ NEW JOHNNY CAGE - MK1 ↺

He is much softer in personality, he likes to see everything with joy in his eyes, even if they are serious matters. He would be the kind of guy you would randomly talk to on the subway, and yes, he did bring up the subject with you while smiling and lowering his sunglasses to get a better look at you.

NEW!JOHNNY CAGE - would get your number quickly, saying that you two can go out one day if you want - he doesn't really care if you recognize him as a movie actor or not, he liked you as a person and wants to get to know you a lot better - And in a few weeks of conversation, he will already be in love with you, waiting for your call or notification from you, he will bother you a lot too, more than 30 messages in less than 2 hours if you don't respond to him.

NEW!JOHNNY CAGE - will pick you up at your door in a luxurious sports car, saying that he got your address from a friend from the FBI - Yes, it was Kenshi - and that he was going to take you shopping with him, you hadn't even showered yet.

NEW!JOHNNY CAGE - will give you a prince/princess day, buying everything you want, without hesitation. He was also going to use the opportunity to vent about how he felt after the divorce with Cris, while smiling looking at you, mentally thanking you for having you in his life, he is a lonely man, even with some friends, he feels empty, probably because of his daddy issues, but he won't show weakness to you, at least not at first.

NEW!JOHNNY CAGE - who will beg you to sleep in his mansion, having a "girls night" with him and you watching several cliché films - films even from the beginning of his career - while he and you walk around in silk pajamas combining for the mansion. He also likes to take care of himself, that is, get ready to take care of his hair, whether it's helping him moisturize, coloring his hair or giving him skin care. Johnny will also let you test your makeup skills on him, taking lots of photos with weird and silly filters afterwards.

He will also ask you to be a boyfriend/boyfriend much quicker, a few dinners and caresses later and Johnny will be on your feet. His proposal will be in person, with him holding a big bouquet of roses and winking at you in a cheesy way, but he was visibly nervous, shaking and sweating a little, especially his bottom lip.

"-I wanted to do this in person (Y/N)... I just- fuck-" Johnny tries to speak, still nervous, while taking a few breaths, finally recovering his posture. "-Will you date me?" He finally continues the request, nervous and afraid of rejection, but if you accept him he will let out a sigh of relief, and then you will have to calm him down, because he will be pale from being so nervous.

NEW!JOHNNY CAGE - He fucks you slowly the first few times, soft jazz music played in the background of the five-star hotel room you were staying in that weekend, it was the first time you had sex, and he was controlling himself so as not to hit you hard On the mattress, he felt his hips sway with each sweet moan that left your lips, he held you tighter and started to pick up the pace even more. His eyes were closed and he seemed to feel the heat rising inside him. His moans were driving him crazy.

"-Oh Lord..." Johnny Cage whispered, as if he wanted you to hear how good you made him feel, he held your hands tightly and started moving even faster. His breathing was heavy. "-Please...tell me to go faster baby, please."

NEW!JOHNNY CAGE - Who is extremely jealous, you can't make him jealous, this will end with Johnny having aggressive possessive sex with you, holding your head against the mattress with expensive sheets, slightly suffocating you. His pulsing cock was pounding into your uterus at a punishing and painful pace. "-Look at you (Y/N)." he sneered, his voice full of disdain.

"-A pathetic, desperate slut, begging for release. Did you honestly think you could find satisfaction with anyone other than me? That anyone else could make you feel the way I do?" -He turned you around, forcing you to face him, Johnny was sweaty, his gaze was pure hatred and jealousy. "-You disgust me" he spat in your face as he took your lips in an aggressive kiss that left you breathless, his tone full of contempt. "-You thought you could show off your body and tempt others? Thinking you could get away with it? No, my precious, there are consequences for your actions." Cage accelerated the movements of his dick in your wetness, while he growled between moans, taking his hands to your breasts and squeezing them.

NEW!JOHNNY CAGE - who likes a bit of everything, you can pin him with your wrists to the bed, and use his dick for your pleasure, with his mouth gagged with your panties, watching you enjoy him, while he begs for you, so you can let him cum inside the heat of your pussy, tearing up as he looks at you, whimpering against the fabric in his mouth.

NEW!JOHNNY CAGE - who even though he loves seeing you on top, loves even more being a hard!dom and fucking you with all the accumulated lust he has, hitting his dick on your pussy, rubbing the tip of his fat dick on your clitoris to make you squirm, who loves to run his hand over the bulge that his dick makes in your belly, while he enters your pussy and makes you tremble, he loves to degrade you, making you always be his submissive.

"-Look at you, completely wet, just begging for my cock."

"-Come for me. Show me how much you want my cock, how much you need me to fill you like the submissive whore you are."

"-I'm the only one who can use and pleasure that sweet pussy of yours."

"-You're nothing but a whore to me." "

"-Fucking hell- Yes... You're nothing but a pathetic little whore, begging for someone to fuck you, a pretty, pathetic whore for my dick."

"-That beautiful mouth of yours was made for just one thing: to give me pleasure. To worship every inch of my cock."

NEW!JOHNNY CAGE - Who will fuck you on top of the piles of money he earned, spread out on the mattress, messy - wolf of wall street style - while you feel the dollar bills scratch you, while he smiles at you, holding your thighs while your pussy swallows him. "-What will you want baby? a car? a Versace bag? another house in Malibu? anything you want, just moan and talk to daddy in that pretty voice, and I'll give you everything you want my prince/ Princess." He went back to fucking you, watching your breasts bounce as the money bills scattered across the floor, and you moaned in response to him.

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

[talesfromtheclub]

AJ was an average American guy. White, Straight, and of course Christian. so he didn't know what possessed him to come here, a strip club of a places. yet, there he sat, watching the club from the bar.

He didn't know where the bartender was but he failed to draw his gaze away from the stage, from the poles, from the... male dancers. Why did their sensual and fluid motions draw him in so much if he liked women doing the same?

His gaze was only shifted once another dancer approached him, "Hey cutie, care for a private one on one?" He chuckled. AJ didn't know what to say and frankly, he didn't have time to. Before he knew it, this wildly handsome man took his hand. He brought AJ through the entire club, through crowds of men and women huddled around dancers.

Finally they arrived at a private room with a stage and pole in the center. The dancer sat AJ down on a couch, getting up on stage and beginning to slow dance. AJ couldn't tell why it suddenly felt a little bit cold. Why the neon lights felt hotter, why on earth he had stripped down to his underwear.

It didn't make sense because THIS was not his body, he didn't have muscles or beautiful abs. He didn't have flawless skin that was soft and smooth. It was like someone had torn him out of his real body and placed him in some giant sex doll. But his eyes remained fixed on the dancer, watching him slowly remove the mesh covering his tan body.

It felt right to watch this man dance, to watch him do this, to learn. AJ had never felt like he belonged more than this. He never felt so comfortable, so at home or at peace. Like someone was slowly messaging his brain, getting rid of all the insecurities and worries. No that wouldn't do for the beautiful Aaron James, no.

The negativity was all replaced by soft and warm confidence. The confidence expected of a stripper. AJ could feel his hair slowly getting longer, his body becoming better. Yes, he wasn't just a stripper, no, sex was his stock and trade. Men all over town would come to Aaron James to have the best time of their lives, and leave with a new number in their phones.

AJ felt so good, watching the dancer remove the final piece of clothing, now naked in all his masculine glory. He gestured for AJ to join him up on the stage. AJ crawled up to him, looking at every spot of skin, beginning to kiss him passionately.

AJ didn't exist, now he was Aaron James, called AJ by co-workers and lovers. The dancer pushed AJ down, feeling up the new products body, kissing every inch of his legs. Slipping his hands into his underwear, and ripping it off.

AJ walked down the staff hallway, doing as instructed by the dancer who showed him everything. AJ saw HIS uniform, slipping it on before walking out to the stage as the announcer called out his name "Welcome to the stage, the seductive Aaron James!"

AJ found his home.

Of course, near the shows sexy finale, he saw that lone man sitting at the bar. Aaron James needed his partner, and the bar needed a tender.

[fleshengine]

What happened to your friend does sound awful, but it doesn't sound like something that's actually unique to trans women. Someone making false claims after a bad breakup and people believing claims of victimization are fairly normal occurrences across the board, especially since people do generally believe it's praxis to believe all victims immediately. The fact that your friends came around in a matter of days is a better than average result.

Hi Velvet, I think this is the second or third time you've come on to one of my posts where I talked about transmisogyny and tagged it as such. Those posts don't get a ton of traction, do you just like... patrol the transmisogyny tag or something?

Anyway I do not feel a need to clarrify myself to you. But I will add that there were a lot of details that I didn't add to the post, stuff I will not be discussing, that solidifies my belief that it was an example of transmisogyny. I'm not at liberty to talk about some of it, and for the rest I honestly just do not care enough to defend myself to you. I lived my life and you read a rant about it.

That aside, do you know how many transfems I know who have been made out to be rapists/mentally ill after they broke up with their partners? Do you want me to list all the normal occurences across the board that have made me personally terrified to show others intimacy? Why is it that when someone says "that trans girl is a rapist!" people believe her but when trans girls say "we keep getting called rapists, this sucks" we get people like you telling us that it's normal to be made out into a charicature and systematically cut off from your entire social group?

Now that I've got that out of the way, let's dig into your word choice.

"What happened to your friend" this voice is so passive it's going 45 in a 50. "What that guy did to your friend" is much more direct and active, that's a sentence fragment that drinks orange juice with its breakfast. I probably would've accepted "what was done to your friend" because even though it's passive it still emphasizes that someone did something wrong. But you didn't even do that. Instead you completely removed the idea of fault from the equation, no one did it, nothing caused it, it was divine intervention that my friend nearly lost their entire support network.

"does sound awful" it doesn't sound like anything. It is awful, through and through. I hate the man that did it even though my friend has forgiven him.

"better than average result" average what? Messy breakup or transfem targetting rumor mill? It was a better than average result, I can attest to the average and it's not good. I'm glad I was there to sway people back to reality.

Moving on, you only addressed one of the two things I mentioned. I said "break up with a trans woman and unperson her" and "unperson any trans woman who's minorly annoying." You completely skipped the whole "a guy tried to tell people I was a gaslighter because I asked him to stop calling my friend a sociopath" bit. The post wasn't even saying that what happened was specifically transmisogynistic (it was), I was literally just talking about how stuff I was hearing mapped onto my life.

I also find it interesting, how you put this in an ask instead of a reblog. A reblog puts whatever I said on your account, an account I've heard you regularly use to support transmisogynists. I'm happy to talk to you more, genuinely I like to argue and you seem interesting enough. But I want what I say on your account. I'm not going to respond to another ask or reblog on this one until you reblog the original. Here I even got you a link.

[connoroaks]

Hot take #2: Femcels don't really exist

A few days ago I received an angry anonymous message from someone, referring to me as a "racist cvnt" and telling me to kms. I obviously didn't respond to this, as doing so would just be feeding the troll's ego (rule 14 of the internet), and anyone with common sense knows this, but it did get me thinking about another thing, with that being what type of person would've gone out of their way just to call some random guy online a racist and hopefully get the attention they desperately wanted out of it. As a straight cis male who decided to make a Tumblr account to join the tcc and now post long paragraphs like this one, I'm obviously part of the minority here, as most people who use this site are either women or trans men who are in reality also biologically female, and this site is home to some of the most radical of feminists, as I stated in my previous post. Most of these women (and trans men) identify as femcels since they struggle with dating, sex, and finding a partner just like incels do, but I think the latter one is definitely less voluntary than the other, as women are way more respected in society and could find a bf or gf almost instantly if they really wanted too, whereas it takes most average looking straight men years to find a partner, and even longer to lose their virg1nity and sh1t. Now obviously I'm not saying that femcels can't exist, as there are some women who suffer from things like severe facial deformities or are just unfortunate enough to be in the bottom 1% of women, what I'm saying is that they're a lot lot rarer than people make them out to be, and male incels are wayyyyyy more common because for example, if you're like a 3/10 woman who's not very attractive at all and you want to find a bf, there's still gonna be plenty of 5 even 6/10 men who would be willing to date you, whereas 5-6/10 women mostly refuse to date men on their level, and instead sleep around with Chad and Tyrone for their entire late teens and 20s until their 30s when they finally realize that their actions have consequences, and from here they will either settle down with the 5/10, who probably now doesn't want her knowing that she has a body count in the hundreds, or they can just become a cat lady and die alone and childless, wishing they could go back in time and do it all over again. There's even 7/10 men who are struggling with dating in today's world because the 7/10 women are all in the 10/10's harem of b1tches that he talks to. Most women here on Tumblr however are average looking (4-6/10s), and they could easily pull a man on their level (like me) who shares similar common interests and wants to build a family and grow old and die together, and for almost all of history, that's how it was. However, starting in the 1960s and 70s second-wave Feminism led women to become more career focused and less family oriented. This in itself is not a bad thing, as women of the time still maintained a healthy balance between their work and their family, and were not just fvcking around with a bunch of different guys, but third-wave Feminism in the 90s and early 00s told young women that starting a family and having kids was bad for their mental health and that they didn't need a man and should just fvck, party, post borderline n@ked pics online, and completely focus on work and their careers. This effectively made it extremely difficult for average looking men to find a loving wife who's actually loyal and not a degenerate and made it impossible for below average men to ever even feel the touch of a woman other than their own mother without doing something like hiring an esc0rt or some sh1t. The top 20% of men get 80% of all women, and it leaves the bottom 80% to have to either find a non-feminist woman, which is not very common in today's day and age, or to compete for the bottom 20% and probably still fail anyways. There is really no such thing as a femcel, as even "ugly" women have it way easier in the dating market than 6-7/10 men do. And also, I don't really consider myself to be an incel either.

I may be average height, and I'm definitely not as attractive as Chad is, but I'm not below average either, and I have a bigger pen1s than most men at my level do. I'm more of a cutecel than I am an incel, I'm like Elliot Rodger but taller and with a much bigger d1ck, fluffier curly hair, and blue eyes. Take that information as you will, but girls never even look at me, not even gay guys either. I've been told by my parents a few times in my life that girls were checking me out, but I don't really think that's true. For example, last spring break we went to some Japanese garden while on holiday in Florida, and both my parents said that this one girl in front of us was really checking me out, but when I started being more aware of this random girl in front of us as opposed to only looking at the flowers and sh1t, not even once did she turn around and look at me, and she couldn't have heard them either, as they whispered it to me, and we were pretty far away. I don't think they're lying to me, but I do think they tend to overexaggerate things like that. Another time we were at some restaurant and my dad mentioned that these girls were looking at me, but again there was no sign of anything, and if they really liked me they probably would've just gone up to me and asked me for my number or something. However, to be honest even if they did I wouldn't have given it to them. I don't trust normie women, as I've been wronged by them many times in the past, but that's a story for another time. I'd rather find a girl that actually loves me and shares common interests, even if she's average looking or crazy. I'd rather take the crazy yandere who texts me to see if I'm ok every 5 minutes and starts imagining bad scenarios if I don't respond right away than a "normal" girl who I share nothing in common with and who'll leave me the second she finds a more attractive guy.

[rai-chuuuu]

╰┈➤ nct (127) mini drabbles

acts of affection drabbles (0.8k words)

pairing ; every member x gn!reader

warnings ; fluff , silly stuff , literally everything else you could imagine in a post called "nct (127) mini drabbles; acts of affection" , the whole deal ykyk

I keep forgetting to write stuff so take this while you can.... I also can't promise that these are good and AREN'T cringe, so proceed with caution? maybe????

Taeyong - One thing about Tyong is that he enjoys shopping, whether it’s as a way of destressing or if it’s for you. Another thing about him is that he’s forgetful… Personally, I feel like he’d buy you a surprise gift but put it somewhere and then forget about it. Sometimes, it gets to the point where you find it weeks later and get apologetic because of it. I believe he'd write lyrics about you or your relationship and try to slip them into songs. Maybe he’d make a meal for you every now and then as well! 

Johnny - Taking pictures is something Johnny likes to do, so the chances of him taking pictures of you are common. I feel like if you were to ask to see them, he’d get all giggly and flustered. Johnny also dabbles in books, so he could also give you recommendations. This could be flip-flopped, so he’d read whatever you seem to talk to him about. Maybe you two would go on cafe dates, considering his liking for coffee! I think that’d be extremely cute (I want that so bad).

Yuta - Like Yuta once said, he would date this partner on a date to an amusement park. It’s a really fun experience, assuming you don’t have motion sickness and enjoy riding roller coasters. Or extremely expensive food... But that’s the fun of it all! As long as you’re spending time with Yuta, right? He also likes jewelry, specifically earrings. I feel like matching accessories would be cute, you know? I think matching in any sort of subtle way is always really nice. I’m kind of running out of words to say, but trust me, it’s a nice experience, I hope.

Doyoung - I am 87% sure Doyoung likes to sleep and enjoys beds more than the average person, so my first point is taking naps with you. In my opinion, this is absolutely amazing because not only do you get to sleep at night, but you can also take naps throughout the day with someone. Who wouldn’t want that? Something else about Doyoung is that he dabbles in scented candles. There’s not much else to say about that, but I’d like to add that maybe he’d cover a love song. I like to keep my imagination open.

Jaehyun - Cuddling! He has a habit of hugging the blanket while sleeping, so, knowing how conniving this guy could be, he’d probably hug you in bed but pretend he didn’t know. This doesn’t work because his ears turn red when he lies. A girl can always dream! Jaehyun also plays piano, so he’d probably show off his skills every once in a while. I feel like he's one of those “This one’s for you!” guys when it comes to basketball, but I’m saving that for someone else. (Totally take your guesses guys!)

Jungwoo - Watching soccer. He makes you watch while he plays soccer. It’s not the most romantic thing, but Jungwoo’s happy if you just pay attention to it. Plus, who am I to judge? I used to do the same thing. He’s one of the members with the biggest appetites, so assuming you can cook well, he’ll happily eat your food. You have to make enough for the both of you, but mainly Jungwoo. Food is food, man, so I totally get him.

Mark - When I think of Mark, he’d probably get matching outfits for you guys! The only bad thing about that is that it’s those cringey, “I’m his, I’m hers.” galaxy wolf hoodies. It’s up to you if you want to believe if it’s serious about it or not. His rebuttal would be something like, “But bro, don’t you think it’s cute?” word for word. It’s diabolical, really. On the bright side, his lyrics about you and the relationship are definitely something for the books. Honestly, he’s like modern-day Shakespeare.

Haechan -Out of everything he could ever do with you, skinship is probably the tamest out of literally any activity the both of you could resort to. Maybe there’s something better, but this is the first thing that comes to mind. It’s just self-care, but that’s always nice to do with someone else. On the other hand, I can really imagine harmless pranks coming out of Haechan. The only problem is that most of them aren’t as harmless as you’d like them to be. It’s not like anyone’s coming out of a hospital, but someone almost gets hurt.

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

Fate is Definitely Drunk [2]

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (it’s a female reader, most of mine will be unless it is requested as something else)

Warning: pining, cursing (of course), self-doubt/anxiety

Word Count: 1,788

Summary: Everyone has the words their soulmate will first say to them written on their skin somewhere. You have the most average words in the known universe so you assume you’ll have a soulmate that matches that. Fate ain’t happy you underestimated her.

‘I’ve been searching for—’ No. ‘Captain, I am—’ Nope. ‘Now that is America’s ass—’ Hell no. ‘Mr. Rogers—’ Definitely not. This wasn’t a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

You were beginning to realize why these soul marks were kind of a ‘spur of the moment’ thing that fate sprung on humanity. Planning them absolutely sucked. You were sitting at your desk staring at a notepad with literally 25 different phrases all crossed out with a sharpie. This was hell. You had missed your cue to speak, like an idiot, and now the universe was punishing you.

Captain America was your soulmate. The Captain America. The Star-Spangled Man with a Plan. The guy you had written an essay about in high school. An essay you only got a C on, mind you. There was a very strong part of you that was convinced that you had hallucinated the entire thing. A hallucination made a lot more sense than reality that was for sure.

You turned to your desk partner who sat beside you playing on their phone, “Hey, Alex.” They held one finger up for a second before letting their brown eyes drift up to meet yours with a neutral look. You continued, “If you could choose what your first words are to your soulmate, what would you say?”

Alex paused, thinking, then nodded, “Please fuck me.”

“Not…” You scrunched your nose, “Not exactly what I was looking for, but thank you.”

“It’s not like you get to choose anyways.” Alex shrugged.

The decision was made and you were talking before you even realized what was happening, “Alex, I need to tell you something.” They looked at you again, but this time with confusion. It had been two weeks since you ran into your soulmate, two weeks at this job, and Alex had easily become your closest friend here. Plus, your best friend back home hadn’t been very helpful with this. They mostly just screamed. “I met my soulmate.”

“You met your soulmate?”

“Yes.” You nodded. “They said their words, but then I didn’t say anything and they walked away and now… I don’t know what to do.”

Alex set their phone down, “Well, first thing first, you gotta find out who they are and track them down again.”

“Easy enough.” You tapped your fingers against your chin, “It’s, uh, Captain America.”

Alex blinked once, twice, three times and then tilted their head, “Captain America? As in the hero? As in Steve fucking Rogers?”

“That’s the one.”

The two of you stared at one another for a minute before Alex shrugged, “Yeah, you should definitely say, ‘Please fuck me’.”

You pointed at them, “Not gonna say that. Nope.”

“I don’t know what to tell you then.” Alex replied and picked their phone back up again. That had been about as helpful as the phone call you made to your friend back home. You moaned in defeat and slapped the notebook to your face. This was literally impossible. Only you would be in the situation where you knew who your soulmate is, they were an amazing human being, but you were too dumb to reply to them.

Someone came to the front desk and Alex tossed their phone aside to help them. You sunk in your seat and let your mind drift off. Did you even want to see him again? Of course, you did. He was Steve Rogers. Knowing him as America’s hero made you crush on him, and you were sure that once you personally got to know him you’d be a goner. Steve was an all-star, a top tier level soulmate, and you were…what? An intern making minimum wage who only just now got health insurance? You lived in a shoebox apartment that smelled of mold and smoke. You didn’t even own a bed yet. You were literally sleeping on an air mattress. An air mattress.

When Steve Rogers laid down to go to bed at night there was no way in hell the soulmate he imagined meeting one day was you. He was a hero, a legend, and you were literally the definition of average. If your life was a movie, you weren’t sure if you could even name yourself as the main character. You felt like a background character of your own life.

You opened your desk drawer and tossed the notepad into it.

Maybe not being able to think of anything to say was a sign.

Steve stood in line at the Stark Industries cafeteria feeling a little bit like an idiot. If Tony knew that he was down here buying food instead of using the state-of-the-art kitchen built upstairs for the Avengers specifically? God, he’d never hear the end of it. Especially if the genius found out that the only reason Steve was down here buying a water bottle and apple was because he was trying to see a girl.

It wasn’t just any girl though. It was probably the most beautiful dame he’s seen in his entire life, but Tony and the others would tease him all the same. He couldn’t explain it. Steve literally could not sit down and list reasons why this absolute stranger was stuck on his mind, but the feelings were there all the same.

The first time Steve saw her had been a month ago down in the lobby. He had been in a rush to leave the tower so he could meet Clint at some sketchy food stall that the archer claimed was worth weathering a hurricane sized storm for (it hadn’t been), and he just so happened to stop beside her while fighting his umbrella.

In fact, he hadn’t even noticed her standing there until he heard the soft intake of a gasp. Steve wasn’t sure if she knew she had reacted that way, but when he turned to meet her gaze he didn’t feel like Captain America suddenly. Instead, he felt like that scrawny, punk kid from Brooklyn that used to hide behind Bucky anytime a pretty dame started to talk.

The artist in him wanted to describe her as glowing. Something about her, the look in her surprised eyes, just made him feel like he was basking in warmth. Steve’s brain screamed at him to say something, literally anything, in hopes to make her acquaintance. When he opened his mouth though, all that had fallen out was a quip about the weather. Her face features had frozen in shock, and Steve took that as his cue to flee.

Steve hadn’t shared this interaction with anyone upstairs though because, again, he wasn’t in the mood to be mocked for the remainder of this century.

His thoughts were interrupted when he caught sight of the woman again. She was across the room walking in with a group of other SI interns. Steve could tell that’s what they were by the badges they wore around their necks. One of the interns said something and the woman he couldn’t stop thinking about laughed. A bright, grin filling her face.

Steve felt like a weirdo staring at her from across the room. That was actually another reason why he hadn’t told anyone about her because he knew his tactic of watching her from a distance and hoping she noticed him was creepy as hell. Bucky definitely would’ve beat his ass for it. For a quick second, he let his chest ache at the thought of his friend. Bucky would know just what to say in this situation. What he wouldn’t give to have his friend behind his shoulder coaching him on talking to a dame again. Maybe he should’ve paid more attention to those tips in the past.

One tip he did remember definitely applied here. Bucky would tell him to stop walking through the cafeteria everyday hoping she’d notice and speak to him, and instead make a damn move himself. He could do that. He could definitely do that. Steve had fought aliens from space a year ago. Talking to a girl couldn’t be harder than that.

And yet…

A thousand times he had worked up the courage to say something only to bail out at the last moment. It wasn’t just the fear of making himself look like an idiot either. He was Captain America. The quote, unquote Star-Spangled man with a plan. Anyone he brought into his life would be in danger, and what kind of stable minded person would want the baggage that came with him? Steve was a man, stuck out of his time, who worked non-stop and still had nightmares every other night of dropping his best friend out of a train. To say he was a mess was just a polite understatement.

It was one of the many reasons why he had decided any sort of courting should be behind him. He left those hopes and dreams in the 40’s along with his soulmate. Like nearly everyone else on the planet, Steve had words etched on his skin and one of his worst regrets was that his mission to save the world had left his soulmate alone. Maybe it was a selfish thought, but he was kind of glad he never met them back then. That alone made this so much easier to swallow.

“Captain?” Steve glanced over his shoulder to see an unfamiliar face looking up at him with a hopeful smile. The middle-aged woman held out her phone, “Can I, maybe, get a picture with you? My son is such a fan.”

Steve nodded once, “Of course.”

His fame was still something he’d never get used to, it was probably the worst part of his job, but Steve couldn’t find it in his heart to ever say no. He bent down a little to get into the frame as the much shorter woman, and after she snapped the picture, she thanked him again earnestly. Steve gave her a small wave and hurried away from the spot before others came to ask the same thing.

He glanced across the room, hoping to see the stranger one more time, and when his eyes found her, he realized she was already looking at him.

There was an unreadable look in her eyes, and Steve was stuck. After a moment, her lips curled up into a soft smile and it was pathetic how his heart seemed to stutter in his chest at the small action from someone he technically didn’t even know. It settled the mental argument he had been warring over though. Steve took in a steadying breath and took a step in her direction, but that was the exact moment the entire room shook as the back wall exploded out in a debris, fire, and dust.

[previous chapter] [next chapter]

[bberetd]

▼ for Daisy, perhaps? 🤔

🙇‍♀️

▼ - childhood headcanon

let's see...

She absolutely loved playing outside and running around! She would collect any kid she saw roaming around the area and invite them to play with her, and they'd be quick friends.

She's got plenty of childhood bruises and scars from all the playing.

Squinkyyy!

When she was five, she found a stray orange baby Yoshi sleeping in the castle gardens. She immediately claimed him as her own, promising her mom and dad to feed him plenty of fruits and take him on nice walks.

and she actually held up this promise! They did everything together; they were best friends, partners in crime, ride-or-dies (literally) 🧡🧡

The Yoshi (named Squinky) became very strong faster than the average Yoshi and was able to carry Daisy around long distances by the time she was 8.

They would show Daisy's parents 'magic' tricks they learned or funny dances. Squinky also quickly became a part of Daisy's young circle of friends. Their favorite game to play with him was Duck Duck Goose, where the 'goose' would get to ride Squinky and chase who tagged them.

Family life

She's always been a daddy's girl. Her relationship with her mom has always been rather strained because she wanted her to grow up so fast and to be the 'perfect princess.'

^ about this!! I often think about Daisy's childhood/upbringing like the movie Brave (and totally not just cause they're both red-headed 😜). All she wanted (and wants) to do is have fun, be free, be independent, but she shall be constrained by the shackles of diplomacy, her mom's belief was.

The idea of suitors as a child scared her. She didn't want to get married to strangers that she'd have to force herself to love.

The future in general just scared Daisy. She thought that if she had gone far enough from Sarasaland, that time would have frozen and that she would be young forever. When night fell, she packed some fruits and belongings, called Squinky, and got moving.

Meeting Peach

This trip lasted for about three days. within that time, she explored different kingdoms, but the most sane (and safest) seemed to be the Mushroom Kingdom.

Upon entering the main village, Daisy saw an old-looking Toad showing a human girl around the shops. As she thought about it, that was the only other human she saw in the kingdom. Is the old guy the king, and the girl his... daughter? Her mama's got weird taste.

But this mysterious girl makes eye contact with Daisy and immediately runs up to hug her (to the mushroom man's dismay) and was blabbering on and on about meeting another human. She likes her.

But yeah Peach and Daisy meet!! Daisy introduces Peach to Squinky, and Peach introduces Daisy to Toadsworth.

Daisy, Peach, and Squinky spent a lot of time together over a couple of days, doing outdoor activities, dress-up, exploring, tea parties... but Toadsworth eventually decided that it was time to get Daisy back to Sarasaland.

Reunion

In those few days, her father held an intervention for her mother, with him and close-working advisors voicing their concerns about how she was raising their daughter. She used this moment to sit back and really think about how she had been treating her daughter. [insert more clever epiphany]

The family had an emotional reunion. Daisy's mother wanted to be better for her and everyone in Sarasaland so they wouldn't have to relive the worst three days of their lives.

Daisy loved this very much. She had two conditions: to let her visit the Mushroom Kingdom more, and to let Squinky become the official royal pet.

the rest is history, Squinky is still there present-day :')

[luvliewriting]

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NS/FW ALPHABET ARTHUR MORGAN

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18+ MDNI

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Pairing: Arthur Morgan x F.Reader

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! Mentions of choking, breeding kink kinda, reader is afab sorry (I just know how to write for afab pleasure the best I'm sorry)

Note: Don't worry I'm working on the parents headcannon and the Arthur fic, I just wanted to do something fun

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

↳Not all that bad at it tbh! He isn't the best but he's super gentle and this is where you'll get most of your praise from him. He'll happily do whatever you need. Wanna bath? Sure you got it. Wanna just lay in his arms? His arms are open darlin'. He won't ever just assume what you need though, you have to tell him what you know because sadly he'll get anxious and wants only the best for you

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

↳Favourite of his: his hands/fingers. He loves how his hands look around your pretty little throat while he's choking you during missionary and your legs are on his shoulders. He gets a little power drunk during sex so when he knows that he has your eyes rolling back just from having his fingers curl deep into your cunt, my god does it make it hard for him to just not finish right in front of you

↳Favourite of yours: look this man loves everything about you so it's hard for him to choose but if he really had to, it's a tie between your ass and your face. It's a basic fact this guy is an ass man so he probably has his hand on it whenever he can. And when you're being a little bratty, oh he loves how red it looks because of his hands. He also loves your face though, he loves your expressions when he's praising your body. Seeing your eyes roll back when he has your clit rolled in between his lips is one of his favourite things because you look so beautiful at your mercy to him

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…)

↳Little less than average but a thick consistency. Big fan of cumming inside of you but, if he couldn't, he'd want to cum on your face, mainly because he likes to watch you scoop up some of it on your finger and pop it in your mouth

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

↳Really into the idea of you marking him, particularly hickey’s, marks from being tied to the bed, handprints or scratches on his back. He absolutely loves getting to mark you up all nice and pretty to show that you belong to him, especially to Micah (just lets him be cocky because he knows that Micah wants you but can't have you). But he wouldn't mind having some marks on himself, just to show how lucky he is to have you to come back to

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

↳It's Arthur fucking Morgan, of course this man has more than enough experience. Doesn't matter if he's your first, tenth, or hundrenth time even, this man will make you feel like you've never even seen another human naked with how this man will take care of you.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying)

↳Call him old fashioned, but Arthur loves missionary and when you ride him. He prefers to see your face, and know that he’s the one who’s making you feel good. He absolutely loves your expressions plus it just makes it easier for him to choke you when you start to get close, just adding to the high when he releases and the blood comes back to your head in a sweet rush with your orgasm. And trust me, when you are riding him, his hands fly immediately to your ass

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

↳Even though Arthur's very romantic during sex, he’s still always cracking jokes and making you both laugh. It does truly depend on the mood of the situation though, if he's just gotten back from a long and stressful job and just wants to be near you than yes, he's gonna be more in the moment serious. But if its casual, maybe morning sex, than he'll crack a joke or two, maybe tickle you just to get a laugh out of you

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

↳He keeps it well trimmed down there. He doesn’t want to fully shave, but he’ll keep it nice so that it’ll be better for you. If you are shaved or not, he doesn't care, he will still devour you like you're his last meal

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

↳No matter who’s on top, he always wants to be touching you, wherever he can. If he’s on top, he'll have your legs over his shoulders as he kisses on your ankles or has his hands intertwined with yours. If you’re on top, he’ll wrap his arms around your waist, and usually sucks on your tits, or kisses them. He’ll whisper I love you’s every time you do anything, and makes sure you know how much he adores you and everything about you

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

↳He doesn't do it all that often, mainly because he's typically too stressed or busy to get a chance to. Plus, during the time he usually has to himself he has you to help him get off

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

↳Look we all know Arthur has a praise kink, not so much on himself but on you? Oh lord this man can praise until the cows come home. "Good girl" is obvious but he also likes to say stuff like "you look so beautiful with my cock in your mouth" or "you taste so good, you're doing such a good job." Anything that allows Arthur to know how much your skin tingles when he's praising you is good for him, adding a plus to it if his lips are on your neck at the same time, his hand dipping slowly between your legs

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

↳Arthur is one for the risks so anywhere is pretty good for him. He definitely prefers a hotel room since than, he gets to do whatever he wants and be as loud as both of you want. But if you wanna do it while you two are on a job in the middle of nowhere with a warm campfire to your side than that also works. He also enjoys the risk of it at camp, maybe he just likes knowing how hard it is for you to remain quiet

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

↳I've said this about a hundred times by now, but everything you do turns him on. Sometimes just waking up with you curled up into him, ass pressed against his straining cock, when you wear a low cut top and bend over, you telling other people what to do (he likes the power it gives you, almost makes him want to put you back in your place), etc. Once he gets hard, he’ll drag you away from whatever you’re doing, and go to town

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

↳Degrading. Even low honour Arthur won't do it. He doesn't want you to believe that he doesn't like you or that you're a whore. He absolutely hates the idea of making you feel bad even if its supposed to be erotic. Praise is just the better option in his opinion

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

↳Giver. Arthur fucking Morgan is a giver. Don’t get me wrong, he loves seeing you with his dick in your mouth, moaning around him as you suck him off, but being between your legs is heaven for him. He could die happy eating you out. Your smell, taste, the noises you make, and the way your thighs squeeze around his head make this boy want to spend hours between your legs. It's even a bigger positive if while he's eating you out, he reaches his hands up to intertwine his hands in yours just for you to move his hands down to your tits letting him squeeze and play with them

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

↳Depends on his mood. If he has you riding him, it’s not usually him who sets the pace. He’s not really ever rough (he can be rough but he'll never go to the point that you could be hurt, but if he’s had a bad day, he’ll usually choose to be on top, and do faster, deeper thrusts. He does love soft sex though, and speed kind of makes it feel more romantic and passionate, so he usually clings to you as one of you moves slowly

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

↳He prefers proper sex, and making it last longer, but if you’re in a rush, and there’s an opening for a quickie, you better believe he’s down for it. The next time you two have time alone together, he’ll always have proper sex to make up for it

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

↳Like I said, Arthur likes some risk, but he doesn’t like anyone else to see what’s his. Public stuff is a no go unless you’re like, out in a field with no one around for miles. But also as I've said, Arthur doesn’t mind people hearing you though, so playing the “quiet game” is always something he’d be down for

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

↳He doesn’t get tired. He’s not tapping out. Can he be satisfied? Yes, of course, 2 rounds or maybe just 1 very long one is fine, but just know he can go on forever. And ever. And. Ever. It usually is gonna take you having to tap out before he even thinks about quitting. If needed, he might stop for a drink or a smoke (sometimes though, he'll still be deep inside of you when he lights a cigarette and keeps going)

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

↳There wasn't the kind of toys that we have now obviously in 1899 but there was stuff like crops and such. Not that he exactly used them, he prefers his hands you know.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

↳Arthur doesn’t tease that much. He can’t stand being teased for long, and he tries not to tease you. That being said, sometimes, Arthur inadvertently will tease you with a stretch here or a wink there. It never truly works because he also gives in to his desires so easily

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

↳Sort of quiet. But he does make these deliciously low sounds that you can feel when his chest is flush against you, making you shiver. But you can get some achingly good sounds out of him if you encourage him, let him know you like it

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

↳This may just be me but this man is a switch that leans toward the dominant side. I mean this man always has people falling to his orders and control, maybe just once he wants you to be the one to take control of him. Ordering him around and telling him what to do. Of course he won't just submit willingly, you'll have to fight for it a little but he usually lets you win

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

↳He’s slightly above average in length. A good 7 inches, and a lot of girth. All that matters is that this man is amazing at using his dick to make you finish, and feel satisfied (not all men need a 12 inch monster cock to be good in bed)

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

↳Arthur would have you under him 24/7 if he could. He likes feeling connected with you. He doesn’t need sex all the time, and he is perfectly capable of hearing “no” or working his frustrations out through other means, but just know, he wants ya, darlin'

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

↳Arthur might look like he’s out, but he’s a little more alert than he looks. Being an outlaw, it takes him a little longer to settle down fully and relax. Arthur will listen to you breathe and feel your heartbeat for a while before finally drifting off himself, he will always make sure that you're asleep first though

❦❦❦

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog because it really does help me out

If you want another ns/fw alphabet about another character, feel free to request for it and I'll see what I can do

Taglist: @margofiore , @cowboydisaster , @kieropal

❦❦❦

[lindszeppelin]

Hi Linds!

I’m stopping by for a little ramble about one of the details that has emerged in the TIFF sitch: that Kaia and Corey call each other soulmates.

I have some thoughts.

I can genuinely think of no scenario where saying that seriously while hanging on each other is okay if you are in a happy, committed relationship. The only way it might possibly be kosher is if there was a little joking “Sorry Austin! I’m just kidding!” from one or both of them as if they knew they were just making a huge fun deal of their fabulous friendship.

Like if Will Ferrell was on a red carpet with Kristin Wiig and said that… everyone would know they were playing up and joking as part of their schtick. No one would even wonder if they were, in fact, more than friends. Or if they were in a serious interview and said something like that, they might say they were “comedy soulmates” to indicate how much they click professionally. And it would be harmless and everyone would know what they meant and that no one was a threat to anyone’s partner.

But let’s pretend for a sec that Austin and K are still a couple (🤣🤣🤣 I can barely even consider it but let’s give it a shot for the sake od conversation). While Austin would not be threatened by such a display, he seems like the kind of man who would want to make it very clear publicly that he fully supported his partner in her big movie premiere.

He would have been quite visible, I believe, in cheering her on in the run up to TIFF, including those miserable forced pap walks we got all through NYC last month. He would have taken that opportunity to make it obvious he’s her guy with smiles and hugs and easy interaction between them. Instead we got endless photos of him scrolling on his phone, hiding under trucker hats, seething with annoyance at the paps, and generally demonstrating complete disinterest and at times even contempt for her. And let’s not even talk about the birthdays! 🙄

If he were involved and participating (willingly) in her life AT ALL, then there would have been a totally different catalog of photos from that time, along with be mentions of him during her SNL press and possibly even comments from him on social media — even while filming — or at least indicators that he is checked into her “big” Hollywood moment.

But ain’t none of that happening!

Because he does not give a flying fuck about her. I think he’s off living his best creative life (with personal happiness on the horizon) and her toxic bullshit in the rear view and getting smaller by the minute.

I can understand why average folks who don’t follow this stuff might not see any red flags here or even notice it. But if you have paid attention to Austin ever, it’s so glaringly obvious that they are no longer together because even she — stage five clinger/leech that she is — is going to lengths to distance herself from the situationship.

I can’t wait to officially celebrate what I believe to already be true: that Austin is racing 180 degrees in the opposite direction from this unpleasant chapter.

Until then, I’m gonna alternate between enjoying the unfolding developments and completely ignoring them. Lol

🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

Love, MJ

PS. I feel compelled to say that I hope (but do not expect) this girl will get thousands of hours of therapy to get her shit together, because she is extremely unwell on several levels. I do not feel any glee over her vivid decline. But I also don’t feel sorry for her. Nothing but good would come from her seeking qualified professional help, but I doubt that’s the route she’ll take.

Hi again my friend!

There truly is no scenario in which calling another man your soulmate is appropriate when you're with a guy. Of course, this is a PRship we're talking about and Kaia never loved Austin or had genuine care for him in the first place. So long as Austin was the thing that made her in the headlines and gave her good press that was all fine with her. Her disregard for his feelings and him as a person is obvious. And same from him to her. I think he cared for her in the beginning, he's not someone devoid of care like she is. But he soon realized how despicable of a person she is. Which is why he clearly doesn't give a shit if she makes out with her friends of if she calls Corey her soulmate, because he has no regard for her or her feelings either.

Just goes to show that Kaia is distancing herself from Austin, and he from her in return. Calling another man her soulmate, the love of her life, touching him on the carpet, flirting with him, pressing her entire front into his body without a care, and saying "your parents" to ham fuel the people talking about them online...all point to one thing. The end lol

[campgender]

from The Preacher’s Wife: The Precarious Power of Evangelical Women Celebrities by Kate Bowler (2019)

transcript below the cut

[…] common when couples adopted an official or unofficial co-pastor model, effectively rendering themselves professionally married.

Ed and Lisa Young made national headlines for their co-authored book, Sexperiment, which found the couple in a bed on the roof of their Texas church for twenty-four live-streamed hours to chat mostly with other famous megachurch spouses about “tantalizing truths about sex as God intended.” Though Ed was temporarily treated for an eye injury sustained from the camera lights reflecting off the white bedsheets, the stunt was a rousing success.

When they challenged married couples in their twenty-five-thousand-member congregation to have sex for seven days in a row, “the guys gave us a standing ovation,” said Ed Young in his CNN interview, while Lisa chimed in that “God is the author and creator of sex.”

She sat beside her husband in a leopard-print dress, her long straight hair framing her carefully made-up face; and while she spoke a pop-up caption on the television under her read: “Married to Ed for more than 26 years. They have four children.” In advertisements, she appeared in yet another leopard-print dress, pulling her husband suggestively by the tie toward her on the couch. Sexual prowess became another bit of expected expertise in a megachurch wife’s grab bag of tricks.

There was an accepted cruelty toward famous women in ministry who failed to meet these standards. In the era of “militant feminism,” Ruth Peale begged feminists to stop warring against male exploitation and realize that the “real enemy” was their own lack of femininity. Women who didn’t want to be sexualized, she worried, might make “downright frigid” sexual partners.

Likewise, Beverly LaHaye initially felt sorry for a woman being berated by her husband for looking tired on a date, but then sympathized with the husband for not having a wife with a little more pride in herself. “What a pity to see a Christian woman who has developed her inner beauty but has done nothing to the frame she must house it in,” she fretted.

The common argument given was that men were visual creatures, which made women’s appearance a part of her wifely duties. Her beauty and her sexuality were not her own. When Ted Haggard, megachurch pastor and leader of the National Association of Evangelicals, was caught with a gay prostitute, fellow megachurch pastor Mark Driscoll publicly aired his concerns about “a wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband.”

Mark had already made headlines on his own accord for having instructed a woman in his church to give her husband a blow job as an apology for not “serving” him. There was always a woman to blame for a man who strayed.

Even the matronly Terrie Chappell, who described herself as a “meek-spirited woman of God” who serves “joyfully and faithfully” by the side of her husband, confessed her enduring wish to meet megaministry’s unrealistic standards. That perfect woman, she wrote, looks “fresh and attractive all the time. Her hair always does what she wants it to do and it’s never flat. Her fingernails are never broken.”

This ideal woman also doubled as a domestic expert who, with a submissive and cheerful spirit, “bakes everything from scratch” and always sticks to her diet. Terrie’s online ministry painted a much more realistic picture of her life as a grandmother who was never far from a prim pearl necklace and a crockpot recipe, who often helped lead an old-fashioned “Ladies Ministry” with classes called “Kindred Hearts,” “Ladies of Today,” and “H.O.M.E.” (Helping Our Mothers Excel). Her book, covered in images of cupcakes, lingered on the trials of putting up floral wallpaper and learning to be patient.

In 2017, the average megachurch wife was around Terrie’s age, wrestling with approaching retirement, and lightly out of step with American culture. She was hardly the sexpot that dominated the marketing of the women in the highest rungs of megaministry, strutting across the mainstage, but audiences still seemed to want her to try.

[darknessisafriend]

another max california request from different anon🙈 could you please write something about reader being tom welles's investigation partner, so at first she has to tolerate max around for information and then they fall in love🥺 i Absolutely Refuse to accept the canon not gonna lie

Heyyyy here you go the first chapter is finally here! I hope you will enjoy it^^

8mm Max California x You

“This is leading nowhere.” stated Tom, your investigation partner, catching your attention while you were blankly staring at a bunch of papers in your hands. From the corner of your eye, you could see him exhaling the smoke of his cigarette, both of you were visibly frustrated.

 You had been working on that case of ‘snuff movies’ for literally weeks, but there were no clues that this was a real thing, and you didn’t believe in it either. Rumors said that the actors just pretended to die, for the appeal of some weird creep jerking off over that crap, but no actual murder. “Calm down, Tom, I’m sure that with a bit of attention and patience, we will be able to collect some more clues, getting angry won’t lead us somewhere either.” you replied, dropping the papers you were holding on your desk, but some of them fell on the floor instead. Tom snorted, annoyed. 

“You’ve been saying it for three weeks. I do have patience but I’m not a saint yet. Seeing any halo?” he sarcastically asked, you rolled your eyes. He was unbearable when stressed out. Both of you shut your mouths, filling the room with an awkward silence.

 “We need to find someone who works in the porn industry, someone who has a link perhaps, or we will never-”. he added after a while before being  interrupted by your phone ringing.

“Tom Welles's private detective office, it’s his assistant Y/N speaking. How can I help you?” you professionally answered, listening to the phone call. You didn’t understand much, there wasn’t enough network, but you recognized the voice of your current client, a young man, his tone was quite desperate, maybe on the verge of crying. You remembered his issue, his fiancé had been gone for a while, the two of them were about to marry in a week. When he called you the first time, he specified that he preferred speaking with you instead of the police, in fear of mockery, or even worse, vengeance. But one thing picked your interest during this second call, he was saying it was related to the porn industry, his fiancé had fallen deep in it…well, this perhaps was the clue you needed for your current investigation, and maybe some other cases you and Tom had been working on lately. “Thank you. Let’s meet at 7 pm at Casey’s cafe on 7th avenue.” you indicated to the young man, noting his name on your notebook. You could tell that man wasn’t from the US, he had a foreigner name, a certain François. 

You hung up after a while, feeling Tom’s gaze on you. “So?” he asked. You deeply sighed and shrugged, combing your hair back with your fingers. 

“So, maybe we can start seeing a little light in the dark.” you replied with a little smile full of hope. 

Now, finally things were moving in the right direction. You decided to keep looking for a link to the porn industry, heading with your partner to a sexshop in the neighborhood before the meeting with Francois, so you would have plenty of leads, hopefully. You grunted in disgust, you didn’t get the pleasure people got from such places as sex shops and even less those working in it, you were probably wrong but you imagined the worst perverts.

“I went there yesterday, the seller seemed to know his stuff. I think he could help us.” commented Tom, feeling you doubtful of his lead. 

“What is he like?” you asked, expecting a stereotyped answer, an average middle-aged creep who enjoyed sharing some of his perverted material with his customers. Your opinion on the guy would be biased for a while.

“Some young punk guy. He seems pretty normal actually. He was even pretending to read porn and instead was reading a classic. He has potential I think.” he described to you, making you arch an eyebrow, well you didn’t expect that kind of description at all. 

Once you arrived at the sex shop, Tom entered first, you followed, looking around, all the magazines, toys, movies and such, it made you quite uneasy and disgusted. Maybe you weren’t as open minded as you thought, the truth was you were simply flustered by the place, you had heard many things about it. But then, your eyes finally landed on the seller, he indeed looked like a punk, dark blue hair, piercings, tattoos, he looked pretty cool actually and rather handsome to your taste but you quickly pushed that thought away. To work in these kinds of places he must have some twisted personality, he looked out of place, he was better suited as a musician, tattoo artist or even barman. This made you grow suspicious, he had something to hide. 

“Hey, looks like you came back for the battery operated vagina after all.” grinned the young man as Tom approached him; you widened your eyes at his words, and glanced at Tom, was he interested in buying? Tom ignored your gaze, with you and the boy in front of him he felt like a babysitter for teenagers. 

“We need information, I hope you'll be able to help.” your partner said, showing his PD card, making the man detail the badge, as if he knew how to differentiate a fake from a real one. 

“Thomas Wells…wait you said ‘we’?” that’s when he noticed you, showing your card to him, a little smirk appeared on his face.

“I always had a thing for women of power.” he told you, a first attempt to flirt and test you. Despite his beauty, he looked like the kind of person who liked to tease people. You had this feeling about him, and you weren’t very pleased.

“You don’t want to piss me off, man.” you replied, on the defensive, already he irritated you, your bitter response made him giggle amused. 

“Oooh, you do have claws, huh? On the contrary. I’d love to see that.” he replied, getting distracted by you before Tom snapped his fingers in front of his face, telling him to behave and focus. You had to admit you didn’t expect to attract the attention of somebody, but maybe it was just him wanting to mess up with you. Other men already did it to you, wanting to be playful and teasing you to ease the atmosphere, wanting to appear charming with their sweet ways, just in order to sleep with you. No thanks, not again, your guard wouldn’t be defeated by a random punk porn stuff seller.

“Alright, what kind of information are you looking for? I got all kinds…” he chuckled, his tone lower though. You looked at him suspiciously, he indeed seemed to have connections in that dark world; after all, maybe he was a jerk, but a jerk with precious pieces of information. It was better for you to befriend him and keep him calm if you wanted to know more. 

“You see, a lot of cases related to porn are popping out of nowhere lately, homicides, abductions, blackmails, etcetera. We just thought you already had experience with…this stuff, you know.” Tom explained, taking a porn tape in his hands. “Not that we’re speaking by stereotypes.” you cared to add, elbowing him as to intimate him to shut up since you saw kind of an offended frown in the face of the young man.

“I have nothing to do with this crap. Nothing, got it? I’m just here to sell.” the seller indeed said, in a severe tone and crossing his tattooed arms under his chest, making his leather t-shirt lightly squeak. You clicked your tongue, great, the only hope you had was getting vexed and about to refuse to help. However, the young man noticed your thoughtful gaze. “If you want my help, you better rub me up the right way.” he added proudly.

“If that’s about money, you can get your share if you help us.” instantly replied Tom, he had expected this situation. You detailed the seller, his curiosity was picked, not so much about money you thought..something else interested him and you will find out what. 

“Now that we’re speaking…” he started saying, “Maybe I do know someone who can help you. I will escort you there, since it’s not so easy to arrive at his place. I guess you need some kind of guard who already knows the environment so you can peacefully investigate.” he proposed, you scoffed, clever guy.

“Who’s the man?” You asked, arching an eyebrow, and leaning on the counter, with renovated interest for the investigation and the seller’s motivations. 

“His name is Pierre Beischel.” He replied, a grin forming on his face “A true asshole. I’m used to people with particular tastes, but believe me, this guy is another kind…” he said you noticed he took his pack of cigarettes, putting it in the back pocket of his pants, seems like that Beischel man able to make him nervous.  “I finish in two hours. My name is Max, Max California baby” he stated confidently, here was your investigation truly starting with a strange companion and many dangers

Part 2? tell me!^^

Tag list: @lyoongx @weirdflecksbutok @charlie-sisters @stardancerluv @sgtsavoytruffle @ohcarlesmycarles @rajacero @niniitah-ah @morrisonmercurryphoenix @fly-like-a-phoenix @thatdummy-girl @galos-writing @phoenixbaby88​ @captain-el-writes​ @skaravile​

[coldresolve]

Moneymakers: A Desperate Thing // Part 1

This AU takes place before (or instead of) the events of Moneymakers. I’d encourage you to read Moneymakers before this anyway, as it’ll give you some context as to what the characters are like. If you want to read @suspicious-whumping-egg’s take on this AU, that can be found here.

Masterlist / Next

It’s five minutes past noon, and Renee Vaughan is getting nervous.

Left and right, busy people rush past him, high heels clacking on the pavement as their scarves flutter in their wakes. Hot dog vendors and newspaper stands respectively call out their prices or the latest headlines, dog walkers are dragged along by the leashes of their animals, and city joggers huff with their last thread of effort. The reflection of the sun in nearby skyscrapers is blinding to behold directly, and several people waiting by a nearby bus stop shield their eyes against it, hands gloved in lieu of natural warmth.

Renee stands in the middle of it all, on the corner of Madison and Central Avenue, exactly as agreed upon. Curbing his restlessness by rolling on the balls of his feet, his hands are clenched into anxious fists in the pockets of his jacket, as his eyes scour each passer-by for any semblance of recognition – though, truth be told, he isn’t entirely sure who he’s looking for. His newfound partner sure seemed to revel in keeping things mysterious.

He's on his first day of withdrawal from snow, and on the third day of withdrawal from benzos, creating a mess of rapidly alternating restlessness and exhaustion, which only solidifies itself by each passing hour. It’s a feeling not unlike having a bad case of the flu, a general unrest which does nothing to mitigate his unease. On the seventh minute past meeting time, he lights a smoke, hungrily sucking it down as he waits, paranoid of every stranger who so much as looks at him sideways. He must look insane, standing there staring, but he can’t help it. This isn’t your average rendezvous, and it frustrates him that the man is late.

He’s about to call the wait off when he locks eyes with a stranger across the street. Someone who appears to be looking at him, with no small degree of curiosity. The man is on the shorter side, dark hair flowing past his shoulders almost as far as his waist, wearing all black clothes, a typical metalhead look. His features are vaguely Native, high cheekbones and a hooked nose, a calculated look in his dark eyes.

Renee lets the eye contact linger until there’s no doubt in his mind that the stranger has zeroed in on him. Then he breaks the eye contact, scurrying through blearing traffic to cross the street.

The stranger does a bit of an elevator look on his approach, sizing him up and down and nodding to himself. “You must be Renee?”

Renee nods.

“I’m Davin,” the man says. “C’mon.” Then he turns on his heel, fully trusting that Renee will follow along.

Renee does follow, if a little uncertainly. The Davin guy walks surprisingly quickly for a short guy. “You said twelve o’clock,” he says as soon as he’s caught up.

Davin shrugs a shoulder. “I wanted to make sure you were alone.”

He leads Renee down an alleyway which, thankfully, isn’t particularly barren of people. Little cafes have fenced off dining areas reaching out onto the sidewalk, the odd bicyclist trails past them on the road, the clicking of their gears echo off the nearby buildings. Renee’s anxiety rises for every step.

Eventually, they reach another main vein of the city, an avenue on which cars are parked in single file along the side of the road. Davin walks up to one such car, a relatively new-looking gray four-wheel drive with tinted windows in the back. He nonchalantly opens the driver’s side door, nodding at Renee to get in the passenger seat.

Hesitating, Renee eyes the car. “Where are we going?”

Davin smiles. “You don’t need to know,” he says as he ducks into the driver’s seat.

A moment of apprehension passes, in which Renee looks up and down the busy street, chewing on his lower lip. The last thing he wants is to be alone with some shady stranger, but he supposes that moment had to come sooner or later. He doesn’t like the thought of not knowing where they’re going, though. It feels like it could be a trap.

But none of this is going to feel right, is it?

Although every cell in his body revolts against it, Renee pops open the passenger side door and climbs in, feeling a pang of regret when he shuts the door. Thankfully, the doors in this car don’t automatically lock.

He carefully watches as Davin starts the engine and pulls out of the parking spot, joining traffic. “So that’s just how it’s gonna be, huh?” He remarks. “Me in the dark about everything?”

“For now,” Davin hums, slightly distracted by driving, although he, too, occasionally looks sideways at Renee, as if gauging his reaction. “I don’t trust you either, you know,” he says.

Renee chuckles tensely. He looks out the passenger window at the city which slowly grows less dense around them, trying a little too hard to come across as casual. His leg is bouncing on the floormat. “Why do it this way, then? Why not just take someone?”

Davin snorts. “Too much of a hassle. I can’t do it on my own.” He lets out a sigh. “It’s much easier with a willing participant, no?”

Renee feels his stomach drop at that, with something akin to shame. He grits his teeth, eyes scouring the landscape. Factories and auto mechanics whiz by off the side of the highway, soon to be replaced by suburbs. All the unknowns dance around his head like a swarm of flies, pestering him with uncertainty about his current endeavor. “So, uh,” he says. “Have you done something like this before?”

Davin chuckles softly. Markedly doesn’t answer.  

Renee nods to himself, sniffing in a quick breath. “Alright, then.”

The highway gets fewer and fewer lanes the further out of the city they drive, and soon, the landscape changes as well, from suburbs to farmlands and forested areas long since withered and dead-looking.

After about half an hour of driving in tense silence, Davin slows down, blinking his way off an exit ramp to a rest stop. This time of day, apart from a few trucks scattered here and there, the parking area is relatively empty.

Renee tries not to let the steadily inclining rush of adrenaline show in his features. “What are we stopping for?”

Davin doesn’t answer. He finally brings the car to a halt in a parking booth, in a secluded part of the rest stop.

Teeth on edge, Renee’s hand instinctively sneaks down to clutch the knife in his pocket. “I’m serious, man, if you’re trying to pull a fast one on me—”

“Relax,” Davin says nonchalantly. “I’m not deviating from our agreement. You’re still here on your own volition.”

Renee warily watches the man shut off the ignition and reaches into the back seat for something.

“What’s the catch?”

Davin just snorts, pulling forth a cloth as well as what looks like a brown bottle, like the ones used on old apothecaries.

“What is that?”

“Chloroform,” Davin says.

Renee opens his door and steps out into the cold autumn air.

Laughter. “I thought you were in,” Davin calls after him.

Sneering, Renee spins around, gestures at the bottle. “Why the fuck would I agree to that?”

“Because you need the money,” Davin says easily, giving him a vague smile. “I don’t want you to see where we’re going, in case you nope out on me later.”

“Give me a fucking blindfold, then, fuck!”

“That’s not good enough. It’s this, or we say our goodbyes, and I leave you on the side of the road.”

Renee grits his teeth. “What the fuck, man?” he hisses. His eyes hopelessly glide over the desolate rest stop, as if anything there would help his current dilemma.

Because Davin is right: Renee desperately needs the money. He hasn’t slept for over 48 hours, and his chest yearns to a painful degree for a fix of something, anything, to get his mind off how fucking terrible it feels to be sober. And bar actually going out there and mugging some poor father of three, who probably needs the money just as much as he does, this is his last shot, even if it is a shot in the dark.

Renee lets out a sound of frustration, biting down the urge to attempt to tear the car door off its hinges. Jaw set, he ducks back into the car. He can’t bring himself to look Davin in the eye. “You’ll let me go if I say I want to leave,” he says, and he doesn’t phrase it as a question.

Something more solemn flashes over Davin’s face, and he nods seriously. “Of course. That’s part of our agreement.”

“And you don’t touch me while I’m out, you hear me? Or I swear to god, I’ll fucking kill you.”

Laughing, Davin shakes his head. “I wasn’t planning to.”

Renee nods to himself. Then he leans forward in his seat, holding his head between his hands. “Fuck, man, I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.”

Davin lets him stew in that misery for a while, silently waiting.

Eventually, Renee takes a deep breath and leans back. “Alright. Fucking… do it before I change my mind.”

Davin nods. Screws the lid off the bottle. Renee deliberately looks away as he pours a bit of the liquid inside onto the cloth.

This is fucking insane.

“Try to sit still,” Davin says as he screws the cap back on.

When he finally reaches across the center console to put the cloth over Renee’s mouth, Renee can’t help but reel back a little, grabbing onto Davin’s wrist with one hand – not pushing it away, exactly, just really, really wanting to.

The smell is sickly sweet, with a tang of something more pungent and chemical-esque, and the effect – well, that’s almost immediate. Renee can feel the energy tapping out of his limbs, as if his whole body is filled with lead, weighed down by gravity. His fingers slip from around Davin’s wrist, hand landing slack in his lap. He makes a last feeble attempt at jumpstarting himself, writhing somewhat in his seat.

“You can’t fight it,” Davin says, more clinical than gentle.

His vision is clouded by a vignette, one that slowly expands from his periphery. His chest rises and falls more slowly, his breath heats up the cloth around his mouth. With one last glance out into the rest stop, to freedom, he feels his eyes roll back in his head, and that’s the last sensation he has before the world finally disappears, and Renee Vaughan sinks into the black mist of unconsciousness.

Masterlist / Next

[ac3-silvers]

Modified A/B/O master post: Ac3’s version that is more “realistic” so to speak.

AKA: FERAL MAN AU

GENERAL STUFF

- I refer to all heats/ruts as “drops” generally speaking. It’s used as more of a slang term/colloquialism that goes both ways, and heat/rut are like medical terms. You “drop” out of society for like a week tops when it goes down, after all.

- suppressants and birth control vary on setting and time period, but generally speaking are like any other hormone regulator.

- no scent blockers, period. At least not not on the black market. People in my version get weirded out when they can’t smell what the people around them have going on…

- … which leads into the fact that all scents gain a “spoiled” or “burning” smell when the individual in question is distressed. Scents will be explained better in the next section.

- “packs” are usually a few couples, maybe more, or a polycule that live together and hep raise one another’s kids. Generally speaking, even if it’s a poly thing they each have their own “default” partner. Siblings/cousins may be in the same pack but never any other familial relationship besides their own kids.

- houses/apartments/etc are called “dens” and bedrooms are called “nests”. Each pack has a “den” and a “nest” for each couple, with a selection of others for the kids. Babies under 5 sleep with the parents, which is usually when they start to give off a scent other than baby powder (aka they’ve matured enough to start developing little by little. It’s like losing a tooth, it means you’re not a baby-baby anymore).

- what kids are called varies on the person and “base” (explained next section), but it’s usually Cub, Pup, Kit, Hatchling or Spawn. The real difference in what’s used is solely cultural, even if there are no eggs involved in certain terms.

- primary gender (what the person presents as in terms of like classical gender stuff) is more or less irrelevant and the only effect the “base” they start with has on them is how big their tits and hips are gonna get and what type of them, plus the general vibes you get off their faces and to an extent builds.

ANATOMY/PHYSICAL AND SOCIAL STUFF

- depending on setting (or even “subspecies”) different groups have different animal bases. In the same world/fic you could have the classic wolves alongside sea life (sirens/mermaids), snakes (nagas), birds (harpies), bats (vampires), really any combination of animal and human you can think of. You don’t even need to make it alternate monsters if you don’t want to, I just came up with that bc it’s fun to explore a new form of “race” layered on like how there’s 2 “sex” things you get in A/B/O stuff. This impacts physical characteristics, certain social elements, how they have kids (eggs v no eggs), and other minor details that are totally optional.

- betas are mostly normal folks except they have a fairly neutral earthy smell (think stones, dust, mud, etc.) and are a bit stronger than a standard human. They make up half the population. Betas have a 2-1-1 chance of a beta, alpha or omega kid of either primary gender.

- Alphas are a bit taller on average compared to Betas, prettier than them in a sort of elven way, and have sharper features. Generally lithe, built like runners or gymnasts. Pretty social, usually the ones who do negotiations and trade and the like. You’ll usually see these guys as teachers at schools or running shops. Definitly the most friendly of the bunch, but there are exceptions and when stressed or on edge they become pretty curt and quick to lash out. Middle of the road (physical) strength and speed wise. Better than betas, not as good as omegas. Scents are usually nature ones, like rivers, storms, plants and the like.

-Omegas…

Built like brick shit houses and they usually look 3 seconds from turning everyone around them into a smear on the ground. Aggressive, territorial, blunt, and the most feral of the bunch. If there are alternate forms involved in the thing I’m writing, these suckers tend to be SCARY as hell but in a pretty way. Overall they fully embody the “angry mama bear” trope… 24/7. They are like this because they are the ones who need to rear and guard the kids even if the alpha is gone for some reason or another. They do the hunting, the set up of dens, the kid wrangling, that kinda thing. They smell like “treats” and warm drinks, generally spiced and/or sweet things. Coffee, breads, pies, apple cider, tea, that kinda thing. Most also have a milky undertone somewhere in their scent if they are able to have kids. Once they hit menopause the milky scent is changed to a bit of a fruity chalk- like one, like crushed smarties.

Omegas are very much “yes murder” and the betas and alphas keep them in check with “no murder” and “some murder is okay but not now honey we need this guy to get that nice herbed goat cheese you love so much”. Omegas and alphas have a 1-2-2 ratio of having a beta, alpha or omega kid if they get with a beta. If it’s an alpha and an omega, it becomes 1-3-3.

A lot of social stuff is more or less determined by micro expressions, scents, simple noises and body language. Some people literally only talk in the local language maybe once every couple weeks when they go get groceries or something. Omegas are the worst about it, but also able to make the widest range of sounds and most proficient in the “language”. Betas have the hardest time with the more “feral” side of things, obviously, and make up about half the population. Betas typically live in towns and cities while the other half of society lives out in the wilds or countryside and either have a solid territory or wander around as nomads.

In short, more accurate to the animal kingdom A/B/O set up with a dash of “wouldn’t it be funny if the “mom” role was filled by a brick shithouse man who looks like he’s gonna murder you if you breathe wrong 5 houses over and the “big scary alpha” was a pretty boy who’s shorter than the “wife” and kinda the one you’d think was the “mom”?” Because I’m weird.

[thatonegayship]

14, 16, and 51, wanna hear all your thoughts on this ship

How do their personalities compliment each other? How do they clash?

God, so many ways. Let's not even start with the whole Mystery Loving Man falls for Cryptic Being With Infinite Knowledge. That's all too poetic a match. These two literally exist to compliment and contrast; their existence both pulls and pushes in equal measures, and I love them for that.

For compliments, it's clear they're both rather intelligent, meaning they're able to bounce off of each other in different ways. Of course, Bill knows more, but of what Dipper learns, he's able to apply and deconstruct it. It's fun watching him take information and use it to his advantage, and for Dipper to squeeze a bit of forbidden knowledge out of his partner when he can.

There's also that hidden vindicative side to Dipper that Bill just loves! He's not nearly as vicious, but give him a petty reason, and you've got yourself possibly the most convoluted, over the top revenge story you've ever heard on your hands. Bill's too extreme for ideas, but of what he provides, Dipper draws inspiration, dials it back, and hits the sweet spot of poetic justice.

For contrast, let's not even pretend Bill isn't out here trying to kill people on a daily basis. Dipper does not approve. They've gotten into more than a few fights over Bill dragging blood over the carpets, or screaming decorum when Dipper specifically said to keep it out of his line of sight.

Their level intake of horror as a whole is laughably different. Bill could roll around in viscera and guts for hours if he could. Dipper gets weak at the knees if he sees a video of someone breaking their leg. Needless to say, they don't always agree on date night plans.

Do they stay up all night just talking?

You'd think two people who can get so annoyed with one another would know when to quit bickering and just snooze for a couple of hours, but truth be told? They can't get enough of it. Dipper's frustrated with Bill most times, but if the man ever chose to flop on his side mid-convo for some shut eye, he'd visibly wilt. What's all that about? This was getting fun. :(

Yes, they do stay up all night just talking, and they love it a lot more than they let on.

What's a non-verbal way they say I love you?

Pretty much their whole relationship is this, so we'll have to shave it down for time.

Bill not letting Dipper get mauled or killed is pretty telling to most non-humans. That's already much more than you'd do for a being that only lives an average of 70 or so years. The fact he lets Dipper call him an obtuse isosceles without bursting him into flames is also pretty telling. I'd say his constant clinginess is also a factor, but let's be honest, he'd chat it up with a brick wall if it served him any immediate purpose. It's the times he's actually quiet that say the most. Just wrapping him up in his arms and holding him close. Can't get anymore obvious than that.

Dipper's a bit different. He's not great at romance, but he understands Bill, and he knows what the guy likes: attention. Now, you don't wanna feed someone with an ego the size of a planet too much praise (arguably none), but the occasional nibble can be tossed. If Bill does something that makes Dipper's heart skip a beat, or goes out of his way to fix a problem that he didn't have to fix, Dipper might let him know that he's kind of amazing and powerful, or at least looking reasonably smoochable.

Additionally- and this is rare- he might show some interest in his evil schemes if under the right conditions. He's not dipping his hands into that particular poison, but maybe one day he sees Bill standing in front of a miniature replica of a battlefield, looking stumped yet intrigued, fidgeting over whether this one powerful pawn should go here or here. Dipper shuffles over to where he's looking, and without really thinking about it goes, "it needs to go here," smacking it where Bill wasn't even looking. He blinks. The placement is-. Not practical, but given a second thought, it's actually genius!

Doesn't happen too often that Dipper gets involved in Bill's big plans, when he does though, his partner's heart practically breaks out of his chest.