#avengers are good AND bad bros

[inkybinkyboink]

hi sorry i need to vent a little bit bc i saw a post saying that they wanted to make barbie into a musical and im,,maybe its the withdrawal headache but like why are we in an era where every new popular movie gets moved to broadway. why arent we zesty anymore. wheres the originality. moving the biggest hollywood blockbuster to broadway is the equivalent of disney remaking their own films because they have nothing better to do like oh my god bro.

[uncreativebean]

Need me a man who wouldn't just carry the memory of me with him but burn the world in furious vengeance for my death

[fuzzyunicorn]

Mm mm mhmm how these two deck’s art goes so well together

[drurrito]

Night Drive (18+)

Summary: You get a new car

AN: 18+ only y'all--we're gonna pretend that there are plenty of other self-driving cars that aren't t*sla...I hope this makes up for me not putting out another part of AYTO yet! All mistakes are mine.

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: cursing; reader has a dick; dom//powerbottom!Natasha; sub//top!reader

----------------

You sink lower into your seat as you rev the engine of your new car with the widest grin Natasha can't see. Natasha looks hardly impressed from your view beyond the barely-legal tint of the windows.

You decide to roll down your window and plead your case.

"Hey baby."

Natasha rolls her eyes. You already screw yourself coming right out the gate with pleasantries, Natasha knows you're desperate to get on her good side when you do that.

"So...what do you think?" You vaguely gesture to the rest of the car and Natasha scoffs.

"I think you were a finance bro in your past life," she crosses her arms, and you relent, "probably," you sing as you round the car to lean against the hood. The gun metal gray still holds a shine in the moonlight. This wasn't an impulse purchase, you had been talking about buying a new car for a while now. You would go on little rants about the specs of certain cars whenever you saw them on the road or on TV. It's not like you were waiting when you had the money, being an avenger was a pretty-paying gig. You were just waiting for the right one, at the right time--a method you mastered by the time Natasha came around.

"Wanna go for a joyride?" You offer, already leaning off the hood and spinning the key in your hand.

Natasha wants to keep giving you a hard time, but you look so damn good in front of your sleek, expensive, new backdrop. Your muscles bulge under your fitted black shirt, and you have the cockiest smile on your face, like you knew you were winning this race.

"And if we get pulled over?"

"With SHIELD plates? I'm not worried about it," it almost comes out like it's scripted. You're not above rehearsing a speech for Natasha if it means getting your way. You're pulling out all the stops, but Natasha wants to remind you who's really behind the wheel. Her eyes rake over you slowly, intensely--the same way fresh lava travels over earth. You're standing at attention and you don't even know it.

"You gonna open the door for me or just stand there like you forgot your manners?" Natasha watches in amusement as you fumble for the door handle. She slides onto the cool leather while you make your way into the driver's seat yet again. You wait patiently for her to get comfortable and buckle in.

It's only when you rev the engine with a wink that Natasha muses this might have been a bad idea on her part. You punch the gas pedal and she's quickly acquainted with the back of the cherry red bucket seat.

----------------

Natasha decides that she doesn't like going fast unless the fate of the world depends on it. She also decides this is the one exception when she sees the freeway system of veins in your forearms as you grip the steering wheel. Natasha feels like she's flying when she watches your triceps flex while you turn the wheel or do something as mundane as turning on her seat heater.

Natasha slides her seatbelt off in a way that doesn't set off the sensor--she didn't want this moment to be ruined by a lecture on why it's important to buckle-up. You're too distracted by the beat of your night drive playlist to notice her crawling closer to you.

You feel her lips on the shell of your ear, "eyes on the road, got it?"

"Yes ma'am," you try to say cooly, you don't dare chance a look over at her. She hums with satisfaction and rewards you with a kiss on the skin behind your ear and a nibble on your lobe that tightens the coil in your belly.

Natasha sucks and licks at your neck while her deft fingers work to undo your belt and zipper. Her hand explores the border of your waistband before dipping under and finding what it was looking for. You let out a whisper of a gasp when Natasha admires your full length and girth. Your grip on the wheel tightens, Natasha chuckles when she hears the leather under your fingers groan.

Natasha begins to stroke you slowly, agonizingly so, but that doesn't keep your hips from bucking up into her hand.

"Tash," that only elicits a rumble against your neck. Natasha's other hand curls around your neck and gives a light squeeze that makes your vision blur for a second. Her stroking picks up speed, you have to work impossibly hard to keep your foot off the brakes.

"Natasha, please."

"I like the way you say please, baby," she mumbles with your skin between her teeth.

"What did I tell you?"

"Eyes on the road, ma'am," you say with a quickness that makes the corner of her lips curl up in satisfaction.

"So smart," she praises before you helplessly watch her head lower until you feel her lips greet your cock with a sloppy kiss. You throw your head back against your seat with a pathetic moan.

"So desperate," Natasha teases, and your mind feels like it's going a million miles an hour--multitasking is usually your strong suit, but it seems damn near impossible now.

Natasha's tongue travels the length of you, your hips feebly buck into her mouth when she finally grants you entrance. You slow your speed to safely take a hand off the wheel and hold her hair back. She thanks you with a gentle squeeze on your thigh and the prettiest sounds you could have only ever imagined.

Your playlist is already repeating itself by the time Natasha comes up for air. She can barely hear it over your panting anyway. You're rock hard and right where she wants you.

"The car can drive itself, you know," you breathe out. Natasha's brow quirks with curiosity.

"Show me," it's a gentle command, but your fingers rush to press the right sequence of buttons. You ease the seat back with haste, and Natasha just lets you sit there for a few beats to take you in and also leave you in suspense.

Your fingers dumbly flex against your legs while you wait for further instruction from Natasha. She doesn't even try to hide her smirk when your eyes begin to dart between the road and her.

"You're not gonna let us crash right, dove?" Natasha's finger traces a feather-light trail down your arm. It's a genuine question, even though she knows you probably did some sizable research on the safety features of the car before you even entertained buying it.

"No ma'am, you're precious cargo," you give an easy smile and that's Natasha's cue to move and straddle your lap. You help her with your hands on her hips, your hands quickly retreating to your sides when she's situated over you.

Natasha swears your eyes are sparkling as you watch her slide her panties to the side with one hand and take your length in the other.

"Eyes on me, baby, just for a second," she coos and you obey. Natasha can't help but admire the striations of your muscles working overtime to restrain yourself. You've always been intoxicatingly obedient, even when it's downright painful. Your eyes are locked on Natasha's, you have to bite your lip to stifle a moan when she finally eases down onto your cock. She's already working her hips in a way that has your entire body buzzing. You can count on one hand how many cars have passed you by this whole time, just like you expected.

Your fingers dig into the leather of your seat, your eyes periodically glancing at the road to make sure it hasn't veered off course for whatever reason. Natasha steals a few sloppy kisses when she leans into you to get a better angle and bounce on your cock at a speed that should be illegal.

"Tash, I'm gonna-," you choke out between labored breaths.

"What was that baby?" she leans back and oh god, you wish you had the kind of self-control your car has right now. You feel like you're going to pass out watching Natasha ride your cock, you're too blissed out to realize that she's spelling out 'm-i-n-e-' with her hips.

"I'm gonna come so fast."

"I know baby."

That seals your fate. Your arm reaches back to brace yourself against the seat. With a long and drawn-out "fuck," Natasha feels you push deeper into her, filling her up with every last drop of you. You both fall into a sweaty, moaning heap against the seat. Your body trembling with aftershocks as Natasha scratches at the skin on the back of your neck. You only get to drink this feeling in for a few seconds until you see red and blue flashing lights in your rearview mirror.

"Shit," you sit up and Natasha freezes when she sees what you see. You feverishly check your speedometer, you're not speeding. You start rifling through your brain to see if you forgot to do something, insurance? Plates? Registration?

Your questions are answered when you watch the cop car speed off into the night. Natasha lets out a heavy sigh of relief that makes your dick twitch, reminding you both that you're still inside of her.

"Told you," you try not to sound so exasperated. Natasha just rolls her eyes before kissing your temple. Night drives might just become a regular thing now.

[xxcrystalinerose]

Supergiant is absolutely COOKING with their characterizations of Nemesis and Moros.

It's deliciously ironic how the embodiment of divine retribution, meter of justice and avenger of evil, is in possession of grade-school-rivalry level of pettiness against Melinoë. Unfairly taking out her frustrations on Mel (about something that can't be helped wrt. Mel's birthright too!). Regularly steals her lunch money so she can buy more stuff from Big Bro Charon. Forced into the passive position of standing guard at the Crossroads, preventing her from doing what she does best: actively punishing evil. Not to mention the hilarious occasional "I punch you once and I give you stuff. This is definitely a fair exchange" encounters.

On the other hand, the official Bearer of Bad News™, who sometimes engineered horrifying deaths because he and Sisters Dearest get bored on the job, feared and hated by all mortals, is an unfailingly polite, nice guy who doesn't know how to deal with niceties because barely anyone has ever been nice to him (even the Fates bully him sometimes). Receives one (1) gift and instantly suffers critical damage, afflicted with "Down Atrocious" status effect. Sometimes weirdly optimistic and willing to make the best of his time in the Crossroads, to the point of asking Hecate herself to teach him witch stuff.

TL;DR I love Nem and Moros very much and they have ruined my life. Good fucking food, Supergiant writers.

[redtsundere-writes]

Ride or Die | Sukuna Ryomen

big brother!sukuna ryomen x f!reader Sypnosis: Your troublemaker bestie, Yuuji, gets into a fight, so you had to call his big brother, Sukuna, to rescue both. Contents: Yuuji and you are 18. Sukuna is 19. High school/Modern AU. Friends to lovers. “Who did this to you?” vibes. SMUT. MDNI. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Warnings: Depictions of violence and animal abuse. Word Count: Author's Note: Thanks for helping me pick which fic to write first on my last poll! I hope you guys like it! :3

Sukuna likes you. Yeah, yeah… His ego is so up his ass that he can’t confess his feelings towards you, we all know that. I mean, you are gorgeous, smart, and kind, how could Sukuna not fall in love with you? There’s a problem, though. A pink-haired, stubborn and over-friendly problem. You were Yuuji’s best friend. His little brother’s best friend.

Sukuna knew that Itadori had a big crush on you because you two were inseparable. If he fell for you when you first met, Itadori definitely fell harder. Sukuna knew it by the way his lil bro smiled, giggled and focused on you every time you hang around. Sukuna could be a player, but he wasn’t Mr. Steal-Your-Girl.

One day, Sukuna was taking a nap after work. He was well off until he heard his phone ringing. He picked it and the sleepiness went away once he saw your name lighting on the screen. This was unusual. You sometimes text each other, but the conversation always revolves in Yuuji’s location or well-being. You never called him because you knew how snarky he can be, so you always decided to text him. Naturally, he picked up quickly.

“Yuuji is getting his ass beat! Please, come!” You begged through the phone. That was enough for Sukuna to jump out of the couch and pick his car keys.

Yuuji was always in some kind of trouble. He wasn’t a bad boy, he was more of an avenger. He didn’t want to understand that bad guys just exist in our society without consequences. Yuuji always felt the need to do something about it. He was damn good at fighting, so he used that to give out justice. He usually never needs help kicking ass, but this time it was different.

Yuuji and you were hanging out in a park after classes as usual. Yuuji saw a group of evil guys kicking around a starving dog, so he had to do something about it. The pink fury rushed to punch every single one of them. The thing that Yuuji didn’t count on was that he was out numbered. It was a 5 vs. 1 fight, obviously he couldn’t take them all. You called Sukuna when you saw your friend struggling.

Sukuna drove to the location you sent him, and he saw red once he saw the scene. Yuuji and you were being kicked on the ground by the five guys. You were covering your head with your arms in fetal mode. Don’t worry, the poor dog escaped once he could. You tried to stop them a couple of times, but you were thrown back to the ground. Sukuna didn’t hesitate to jump in and starting knocking out high schoolers.

Sukuna spit on the pile of dipshits once he finished the job. “I hate dealing with kids” he groaned, even thought he is just a year older. Sukuna kneel by your side to help you stand up. You were covered in dirt, bruises, and shame. He kept asking you if everything move correctly as you stood up, holding you by under your elbows. Sukuna was still shaking in anger but tried to stay calm.

“What the fuck you were thinking?! You can’t just start fights for damn dogs like that!” Sukuna screamed at Yuuji once all of you got in the car.

“But they were kicking the poor doggy!” Yuuji screamed back. You were just staying still on the backseat.

“I don’t give a shit about the reason! Y/n’s safety is your priority every time you hang out! Fight whoever you want alone, but when she is around, no fighting! Do you hear me, little shit?” He asked, furious. Yuuji looked briefly at how hurt you ended up. He hates to admit it, but his big bro was right. He save a dog but put you in risk instead. Yuuji nodded in understanding and Sukuna started the engine.

Sukuna drove you to their house. After getting his bruises treated, Yuuji went straight to his room to sleep off the pain. You were left alone with Sukuna. This wasn’t the first time. When Sukuna was still a senior in high school, you used to hang out with both siblings often. Sometimes you ate at McDonald’s with both, other times you would just study with Yuuji alone, and a few times you would walk home with Sukuna.

Sukuna tapped the top of the kitchen counter so he could treat your bruises. You obeyed and let him do his thing. He asked you how you were doing in your senior year, and you asked him how he was doing at his job as a guard at a local club. It was a while since you two talked alone.

Maybe you were used to hanging out alone, but you weren’t used to feeling each other so close. Sukuna was in awe while rubbing your smooth and tender skin with the ointment. He never thought of feeling you in this way. It was a bummer that the first time touching you so tenderly was in a situation like this.

“Do you like Yuuji?” he asked boldly while rubbing ointment in your arm. You blushed upon the sudden question.

“Why would you ask that?” you asked, confused.

“I always wondered if you and Yuuji were just friends, you know, since you are always together” Sukuna asked without making eye contact with you. Not because he was focused on treating you, but because he was too afraid of your answer. You felt so good under his touch, he didn’t want to hear that your heart belong to his little brother.

“We are always together because he needs backup sometimes. We are just ride or die, like you and I” Sukuna paused for a second and looked up at you after hearing that statement.

“We are?” He smirked.

“Duh. I’m always there when you need me, and you are there for me” You explained. Sukuna grabbed some more ointment and rubbed a bruise on your thigh. He used the opportunity to knead your whole thigh with his big hand.

“For anything I need?” He asked in a seductive purr. Sukuna grabbed both of your thighs and slowly started to split them. You blushed after deducing what he wanted from you.

“Anything” You declared before taking a leap of faith. You took his face in your hands and kissed him. He felt like he was melting under your touch. He was a living fire, and you were the only one who could extinguish it.

We know Sukuna was crazy for you, but he didn’t want to admit it. He wasn't the only one, though. You were crazier for him. Yeah, you like to hang out with Yuuji, but you loved being alone with Sukuna. He was a player and a bad boy during high school, but you noticed he was nice only with you. He would buy you drinks out of nowhere, walk you home when Yuuji couldn’t and recommend you bands you might like. For the longest time, you thought that he only did those things because you were Yuuji’s best friend.

Now, that Sukuna was sticking his tongue inside your mouth while rubbing your pussy over your panties, you knew how liked you back. Maybe not for a serious relationship, but you didn’t give a damn right now. He made you feel so good, like no one has ever before.

Sukuna was drifting into madness every time your knee brushed past his pumping bulge. His dick just wanted to rip his pants so he could be felt by you. Sukuna pulled you closer by your thighs while devouring your lips desperately. You pushed yourself closer to him to wrap your arms around his neck and pushed your breast on his chest.

Sukuna pulled your underwear to the side to finger you good. You let out a moan but stopped once you remembered that Yuuji was on his room, and you were openly getting finger fucked in the kitchen by his older brother. Sukuna noticed that, and he challenged himself to make you moan his name out loud. You bit your lower lip to restrain yourself, but his long fingers reaching your deep end made it really difficult to do so.

“Fuck, you are so damn wet” he whispered on your ear while rubbing your wet clit in circles. You tried to close your thighs, but Sukuna made sure to keep them open for them.

“Sukuna, I want you in so bad” you moaned as low as you could. Sukuna didn’t need another queue to pull his cock out. It was big, a throbbing. Sukuna dreamed about this moment since Yuuji presented you. He couldn’t stop looking at your beautiful face, your plump thighs and adorable breasts.

He carefully put your panties to the side and stuck his dick inside of you. You both moan in a whisper once he slowly pushed all the way in. He started thrusting slowly to make sure to not hurt you more with all those bruises. He was moving slow but still passionate, making sure you could feel every inch of his thick cock.

Your toes curled every time Sukuna thrust in you. He felt better than you thought. You hide your face in the crook of his neck and bite his shoulder to stay quiet. “You are so fucking tight, bestie” he groaned under his breath.

His thrusts speed up once Sukuna made sure he wasn’t hurting you. He pulled your legs up so he could dig deeper in your insides. You covered your face with your arm and just take it like a big girl. “Oh Sukuna I can’t take it any longer” you whispered.

“I am about to cum too, baby” Sukuna grunted before orgasm at the same time. His thick milk swayed in your insides. You smacked his chest as a scold. “Sukuna, what the fuck!” you muffle.

“I’m sorry, it’s not my fault you felt so good” he smirked. After cleaning you and himself up, he drove to the closest pharmacy to buy Plan B.

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Masterlist.

[illubean]

Kenny reader x leorio, kurapika the phantom troupe hisoka and illumi

HXH w/ Kenny!Reader pt. 2

Characters: Kurapika Kurta, Leorio Paladaknight, Illumi Zoldyck, The Phantom Troupe Type: Headcanons, Gn!Child!Reader, Crack?

wrote for the phantom troupe as a unit because theres too many of them to write them individually

Warnings: death

Kurapika Kurta

he's shocked every time and swears to avenge your death/remember you forever

but you kinda just...come back every time and he doesn't remember it so he doesn't really do anything

he's another one who can't understand you but after one too many "Huh?"s on his end he'll pretend like he does

most times he just relies on Gon to translate...

he feels bad about your family situation

his entire clan is dead but he couldn't imagine having to take care of other kids while having neglectful parents, especially at your age

he probably offers you food or something to bring home to your siblings

Leorio Paladaknight

you piss him off

he can't understand you and he doesn't get why you can't just take the damn parka off

"hrmrhfr" "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING" "HRRMMHF" "TAKE THE PARKA OFF IT'S LIKE 100 DEGREES OUT HERE!"

when he finds out you're poor he can relate to you more

and he kinda feels bad for yelling at you about the parka because it's probably your only jacket..

the death thing traumatizes him every time

he already lost a friend to some sort of illness but YOU DYING REPEATEDLY IN THESE WEIRD ASS WAYS??? WHAT THE HELL

since no one remembers your deaths he's just as scared and confused as he was the last time

bro cries over this 😭

Illumi Zoldyck

canonically he would not care

like at all

you are just a random poor kid who he can't understand clearly...so you're of no importance to him

sry

The Phantom Troupe

uhhh...literally NONE of them understand what you're saying so good luck

Chrollo likes to pretend he does though

most of the og members relate to you when it comes to the being poor thing

which means they try their best not to overlook you

the others though...they sometimes forget you're even part of the troupe

you have kicked at least one of them in the shin before out of frustration...probably Phinks

and you quite literally had to run for your life

as for the dying thing they mourn you like they do any other troupe member

especially since you were so young

Nobunaga has a soft spot for you and leans down to your level every time you say anything

actually, I think a lot of them have a soft spot for you

and by a lot of them I mean Chrollo, Nobunaga, Pakunoda and Uvogin

don't know why but I think they care about you the most

again it probably has to do w your age

[kiwioala]

since early day lore keeps being referenced, here are some good early qsmp lore vods to watch if you're ever curious about what all went down:

any day 1 pov: really good introductory content (obviously), even for the lore. there’s a lot of cutscenes from that specific day iirc as well which i always think are beneficial to watch! also everyone’s first reactions to cucurucho/osito bimbo are fucking hilarious

roier, day 4: explains his and osito bimbo’s dynamic, they spend a large part of the day together.

roier, day 5: the betrayal the day of spreens betrayal, self explanatory. this is also the day we get the book from osito bimbo where it calls roier "0037"

any day 7 pov: egg's introduction morse code transmission about an “experiment,” the day the original eggs got adopted, shows how the attitude toward the eggs has changed since then, possibly could help explain some of the family dynamics?? at least how they function and treat the kids

roier, day 10: osito bimbo makes it's return but now it's different, (sort of) the day cucurucho officially takes osito bimbo's place

slime or roier, day 16: tilin's death the day of tilin's death, ultimately had a lot of impacts on various characters on the island like slime, roier, and quackity, for example.

slime, day 20: avenging juanaflippa slime tries to get flippa another chance at life by forcing a reset of all the eggs lives, meaning he goes after and targets the other player's eggs.

day 21: "save the baby" quest aka the first egg kidnapping/disappearance (continued in day 22 due to server maintenance). a rescue mission given to the islanders via egg tasks to go retrieve their eggs!

day 22 (slime, mariana, roier, bbh, quackity, foolish, jaiden, philza): juanaflippa's custody trial and revival really fucking funny but also a part of the servers history that i feel like got brushed over too fast. confirms the federation can give extra lives to the eggs if they are so willing and some other stuff.

luzu, day 24: final (physical) arin appearance explains why arin was there, what his purpose is, and how the codes are related to him. can also been seen in foolish and bbh's vod from this day.

foolish, day 26: introduction to leo’s “friends” and a few island entities, the founding of the theory bros (now ordo theoritas) which can also be seen in max and bad’s pov that day!

day 27: the funeral a funeral is held for all the dead eggs (trump, tilin, and flippa) and i believe it's the first time the federation allows parents to talk to their children after their death. for this day, most pov's do go to the funeral service, but only parents of the dead eggs (quackity, slime, mariana, and maxo) get to see their children.

anyones pov, day 34: “the countdown begins, 6 days left.” codes intercept the ducks transmission (again?) and alert the parents that the eggs will die/disappear in 6 days. we know now this obviously isn't true but still a lore-ish day

roier, day 34: even more osito bimbo content! the day when osito bimbo tells roier more about the federation, such as the existence of the "host" and how it has a specific set of duties it must follow/complete.

quackity, day 36: quackitys interrogation & las casualonas debut disguised, roier and vegetta interrogate quackity about his plans regarding the eggs (which iirc was a rumor started by roier saying he was going to murder them) and the island.

maxo, day 50: sofias creator visits maxo important for current lore seeing as the person who gave him said instructions is now known to be a part of the revolution etoiles was recruited into.

[mako-neexu]

going insane over dantes and ordeal call chapter 2 post #234098 the way he says his flames burn hotter/more poisonous than in his normal Saint Graph and you literally remember he made a new Spirit Origin for guda and his NPs are literally ABOUT guda, the color choice in the 3rd ascension with blue accents on his stars and eyes said to be the color of guda's SOUL time and time again,　

and he also literally looks like goetia because "MY DESTINY" (istfg im going CRAZY. im going crazy!!! my desiny??? MY DESTINY!!?!?!?!?) and both him and dantes had that one on one to guda, goetia also made a hilariously BAD set up against himself so like dantes and guda became partners in crime in prison tower like goetia unintentionally played MATCHMAKER and created the worst duo ever im shitting tears. the probable reason as well why he looks like that in the 3rd ascension is because dantes viewed goetia as "an ultimate enemy guda overcame" which he positioned himself in as well so he could be defeated which was his goal in the first place i think im going to break from so much info bro. theres also the fact that prison tower and pseudo-tokyo are basically the same (that also required huge amount of mana) -> guda was dropped into prison tower, (directly/indirectly) helped by gankutsuou, stuck in chateau d'lf/becoming an Avenger by giving into temptation->bad end || overcoming the trials each floor/understanding the Avenger class, overcoming the flames-> return to chaldea. dantes positioning himself once more as both that tiny light of hope and that enemy who has guda fall into a trap likei am so. n.lromnal. I think i hauve covid

and thinking about. "my destiny" "my radiant one" "my one good thing" "my star" like- to be loved is to be changed. man. to be loved is to be!!!changed!!! and the blue and pink-purple flames that symbolize GUDA having been so special to him in this life that it changed him, BECAME SO SPECIAL TO HIM!!! (you can literally see it in his EYES??? his 4th aascension art where his flame is BLUE AS WELL??????????)

that he is still Avenger, Count of Monte Cristo, he who enacted vengeance and the greatest seeker of it, he who continues to hate and burn eternally yet chooses to love!!!!!!!!!!!!! becoming that tiny light of hope to an innocent soul and now here they stand, that tiny light he continued to protect now shines more radiant than anything else, and because of that love, his flames burn much much more fiercely than his previous saint graph and like he has you stay away bc you might evaporate to nothing and he explicitly says theyre stronger in his Monte Cristo alt!! while hes also trying to distance himself from you again bc he must still hold guilt in his heart for making you go through the Avenger ordeal and as well as the fact that you literally need to leave the flames/Avengers behind due to their conflicting nature with the wall bc being attached would be sooo hard to let go and especially considering what you and dantes went through together like what is this?? its like a giant slap of I LOVE YOU SO MUCH against my face????????? theres literally nothihg left of my remains????????????

dantes is also basically so stupidly even more overpowered here have you seen his skills??? Count of Monte Cristo Mythologie became a skill along with the fourteen relics/14 jewels and he can jUST cassually!???? activate that!?!?!?????? meanwhile WHAT HE CONSIDER AS HIS NOBLE PHANTASM IN THIS SAINT GRAPH IS O STAR/O YOU WHO, CONQUER THAT BRILLIANT PATH??? THAT VERY ONE ABOUT GUDA???? IS THIS REAL????? his NP dmg and effects are so crazy too???? LITERALLY POWERED BY LOVE AND BACKED UP BY AGE OF GODS LEVEL FUCK YOU ENERGY ?? im plagued by dantes and OC2 thoughts since last month someone free me ajdkfgk

[whyse7vn]

BLOOD SISTERS -

[ot7 x reader]

3D?????????

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

hobi: i heard vogue paid jungkook in cheese

namjoon: what?

jk: yes

namjoon: WHAT???

jimin: you did a shoot for vogue and got paid in cheese?????

yoongi: is that legal?

tae: are u a rat?

jin: i know a rat…

tae: YOU SHUT UR MOUTH

jk: i like cheese

y/n: put his vouge money in a savings account don’t worry

jimin: you robbed jungkook???

y/n: can you read??

it’s in a savings account

jimin: ur savings account?

y/n: no

jk: i got cheese

y/n: i gave him the cheese

namjoon: jungkook are you ok with her doing that?

jk: yes

i got cheese

y/n: SEE HES OK WITH IT STOP TRYING TO MAKE THE VILLAN HERE!

hobi: why did you do that tho?

y/n: are we forgetting that jungkook literally spent like 500k on a framed picture of the avengers

tae: that picture was cool asf who was the artist?

jk: google

tae: what?

jk: google

tae: oh

y/n: see

yoongi: yikes

jimin: was the cheese good?

jk: yes

i miss it

wish i could have more

🥺

y/n: i am not giving you more cheese

jin: didn’t he say he was lactose intolerant?

jk: i’m so upset rn

hobi: anyway ur vogue pictures were cool

jk: ok

can i have cheese

y/n: say thank you to hobi

jk: thank u to hobi

yoongi: is he high?

y/n: extremely

tae: WITHOUT ME?????

FAKE LOVE FAKE WORLD

jin: playing with my clit rn

y/n: what the actual fuck

namjoon: what possessed you to say that

jk: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JIN A GIRL???????????????

jin: was that not relatable to you y/n?

don’t you feel comfortable?

y/n: no wtf???

i’m extremely uncomfortable rn

jin: ok kill yourself then

read a weverse comment that said you probably feel so uncomfortable and can’t relate to anyone cuz ur surrounded by men all the time

tried to help you

that is the last nice thing i do for you

jimin: wow i never thought about that

let’s all see how far we can squirt guys come on for y/n ❤️

yoongi: can you stop

jk: i’m gonna win

y/n: u all make me want to throw up

tae: no cuz let’s have a period together #bloodsisters

namjoon: that is not how it works

hobi: i’m bleeding real bad rn >.<

jimin: super slay!!!

yoongi: super slay?

tae: slay my pussy ong

y/n: ENOUGH

tae: i love being a woman

jk: i want to seduce the king

jin: you can’t

i’m not into u at all

jk: ur no king of mine

tae: jungkook can you come over please i’m lonely

jimin: is this how you text your hoes?

tae: no only my bros 🫶🏻🥺

jk: i can’t tae :(

tae: why wtf

jk: too much cheese

tae: ?

jk: i can’t move

yoongi: pretty sure that’s the weed

jin: or maybe he’s shitting himself

cheese does that

not speaking from experience btw

jk: no

y/n: so how is everyone today?

jimin: don’t talk to me

tae: i’m still bleeding

jk: sometimes i imagine i’m a tiny little elf that works in the back of a coal mine just mining away but the coal mine is actually yoongi’s head an i’m inside it mining him new knowledge he can learn and after i mine the knowledge i give it to the other elves and they give it to the brain

hobi: are tiny and little not the same thing you did not need to use both those words

jk: soz

yoongi: why me

leave me alone

namjoon: i could be better tbh y/n

jimin: can we talk about how jungkooks new song

jk: do you like it?

namjoon: it’s not out yet

jk: do you like it?

namjoon: it is not out yet jungkook

jk: is it good?

jin: ur a slut

dare i say whore

jk: don’t dare

y/n: double dare

tae: i double dare you to come to my house

jk: :0

jin: like guys do you understand like jungook is a whore

A WHORE

yoongi: ok

jin: I CANT TAKE IT LIKE YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT IN 3D???

WHAT IN MOTION???

UR SICK UR NOT RIGHT AT ALL

STOP IT

STOP IT NOW

y/n: it’s okay

jin: ITS NOT

jk: who is 3d

tae: the jack harlow feature is crazy tho

yoongi: it’s really not

stop putting white men the world doesn’t care about anymore on your songs

hobi: spilled

jk: i’m not white

do people think i’m white

do they not care for me due to my whiteness

am i white?

??????????

oh my god i’m white

namjoon: you are not white

jk: namjoon said i’m not white

tae: namjoon is your white father

jk: OHMYGOD

jimin: what inspired 3d jungkook?

jk: y/n 🥰💜💗💗🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

y/n: ????????????????????

jimin: LMAOAOSOOOOOOOOOOO

hobi: oh wow

yoongi: what

namjoon: okay!

jin: IM GONNA KILL MYSELF UR SICK

tae: wow i didn’t know you got down like that kookie

#respect

yoongi: did you just say #respect

tae: yeah?

u wish you could right a sex song about my amazing beautiful girl like jungkook did

fucking mad loser bitch

hobi: *write

tae: wait

??

something is not right there

🤨

idk what it is

but i know it’s not right

hobi: maybe it’s because you used rigjt instead of write

tae: maybe

namjoon: ur so fucking stupid it hurts

tae: or maybe not

jk: what is going on

jin: THATS WHAT IM SAYING

YOUVE CHANGED JK YOUVE CHANGED AND I FEAR ITS FOR THE WORST

jk: i was talking about the aliens

idk what ur saying to me right now

y/n: WHY IS IT ABOUT ME??

hobi: clearly he kisses and tells

y/n: THERE IS NOTHING TO TELL

yoongi: clearly there is

wrote a whole song about it

jimin: at least you know you got good pussy!!

tae: me 2!

namjoon: can we not

tae: we can

im in my girl era

feminism in my boobs blood in my vagina

hobi: you take things too far..

tae: ok but it’s natural??

fucking men man i can’t do this y/n are you with me baby

y/n: stop talking for 5 minutes omg

tae: okay!

jk: do the aliens have drivers licenses

jimin: when’s the last time you fucked be honest

namjoon: why are you so invested in her sex life it’s real concerning

jimin: cuz it’s interesting????

like live a little joon jeez

y/n: WE HAVENT FUCKED IN LIKE

yoongi: like?

hobi: like

jin: you turned him into a whore i know it was you

jimin: see mr kim namjoon

interesting

namjoon: ur just starting unwanted issues

jimin: IN LIKE???

come on spit it out we don’t have all day

y/n: i don’t have to answer that

yoongi: shocker

y/n: excuse me??

jimin: YIKESSSSSSSSSSSS

hobi: i can’t look

tae: wait she’s fr fucking jungkook no joke this is fr?

thought this was a joke the whole time

are we all on the same page rn???

jk: i think if we think about it we are the aliens to the aliens so if you think about it do we have drivers licenses?

namjoon: it’s like we run in circles every single day

yoongi: nothing

just know why you’ve been ignoring me for the last month now lol

hobi: he added the lol

wow he’s pissed

jimin: INSANE

jin: YOUVE BEEN FUCKING JUNGKOOK THIS WHOLE MONTH UR NASTY LEAVE HIM ALONE LEAVE HIMMM

namjoon: i’m going to shoot you all

y/n: so it’s clearly not “nothing” yoongi

and in the gc are you fr?

yoongi: whatever

y/n: and i haven’t been ignoring you i’m talking you right now aren’t i?

yoongi: this is different

jimin: he’s basically saying you haven’t been fucking with him for a whole month cuz ur too busy with jungkook

hobi: maybe he’s having withdrawals

namjoon: i think she gets it

tae: can i fuck pls

y/n: ur being really childish rn yoongi

yoongi: that’s crazy cuz that’s how you like your men no?

hobi: WOWWWW

jimin: JUNGKOOK SHADE

jk: hiiiiii 🫶🏻🔥

y/n: and not that i need to tell you but i haven’t slept with ANYONE for like 2 months

i’ve been really busy filming and shit

fucking asshole

yoongi: oh

jin: wait no sex for 2 months that’s kinda insane icl 😭

jimin: YOONGI FUCKED UPPP TEAAA

hobi: pussywhipped 💀

tae: CAN I FUCK PLEASE

namjoon: enough sex talk please

before i grab a gun

tae: what type

ak?

glock?

shotgun???

yoongi: y/n

jk: why are we fighting??????

jin: don’t worry son

jk: papa 🥺

jin: no sorry i can’t actually claim you i’m over you being a whore i just remembered how fucking annoying you are yikes

am i the high one??

wow wtf was i stressing over

yoongi: y/n

jimin: me when i fuck up

hobi: yoongi the sad ant with the stick rn

jimin: HELPJSJDJDJXJ YOU RIGHT

“y/n….”

hobi: HEHEHEHEHE

*single tear rolls down cheek*

jimin: *screen fades to black*

hobi: LMAOOOOOO

jimin: STOPWOWOSOSSK

namjoon: guys

y/n: anyways

jimin: no because i stand with you feminist till i die

hobi: i’m such a feminist i enjoy looking at wonho as much as cows eat grass

and that’s like all the time

right?

jimin: right!!!!

jk: where is my papa

jin: ew

he’s so gross guys

y/n: don’t be mean he’s just under the influence!!

jin: of what? meth?

people high off weed are not freaks like him i’m telling you he does that hardcore shit just like joon

jk: papa joon

namjoon: stop

tae: i stabbed myself with a fork

pain is temporary

i needed it ❤️

namjoon: i need it

jin: ???

yoongi: i’m sorry

y/n: k

jimin: wow this is not awkward at all!

jk: i’m throwing up

jin: this is the 4th time this week

jk: papa

namjoon: how is he still alive

hobi: y/n feminist to feminist rn i say fuck yoongi and like come kiss me

yoongi: can you shut the fuck up

jk: i love you yoongi

yoongi: go away

jimin: can you guys not be boyfriends inlaw or something

yoongi: i’m going to punch you

jimin: ok i am going to stop talking now!

—

bonus:

[hurtspideyparker]

The Avengers as High School Friend Group Archetypes

Tony Stark: Mentally ill friend. Made too many suicide jokes so his friends forced him into therapy. Flakes out on plans a lot. Either has a God complex or the worst self-esteem known to humankind. Freaks everyone out when he texts goodbye in the gc without context (he's just going on a business trip)

Bucky Barnes: Black cat. Hisses at everyone but Steve. Great at holding his boundaries but comes off aloof. Nobody is sure if he actually likes them but would secretly kill for all his friends. Hides in shadows and jumpscares everyone with his lurking. Secretly naps on Sam's bed when no one's looking

Steve Rogers: Mom friend. Always has granola bars, Tylenol, and a Tide to Go on him. Organizes the group hangouts and reminds everyone when they have a dentist appointment. Everyone's parents love him, "you can go if Steve's going" vibe. Constantly getting his friends out of trouble (secretly encourages them). His romantic life is a disaster

Thor Odinson: Gym bro. Eats eggs, chicken and rice everyday. Forces his friends to join him in the gym and comments about them not eating enough protein. Genuinely cares for their health, will get them out of bed for food and fresh air when they're sad. Goes through protein powder like Tony went through cocaine in the 80s

Peter Parker: Annoying little brother. Someone's mom definitely made them bring him to the big kid hangout. Everyone bullies him but he doesn't realize it, he just likes the attention from the cool older kids. Sam and Bucky hold him upside down from his ankles till he gets dizzy and Steve makes them put him down. Everyone is super protective of him when he's outside the friend group (hey, only we get to be mean to him)

Sam Wilson: Therapist friend. Gets way too many texts at 3 am. Extremely emotionally mature but laughs at fart jokes. Knows everyone's trauma and will use it against them if provoked. Strangers randomly vent to him in public. Gentle parents adults when they're upset. Nobody ever asks him how he is

Natasha Romanoff: Man hater. All her best friends are men and none of them are actually sure if she's joking about hating them. Mean but never takes things too far. Flirts constantly because she thinks it's funny but is really awkward and bad at it when she genuinely likes someone. Hates when someone treats her like a man / "one of the bros", wishes she had more female friends

Bruce Banner: Bad luck friend. Can not catch a break. Everytime they hear from him something new has gone wrong in his life. His dog threw up on his bed, his computer broke before a huge deadline, his favourite sweater shrunk in the dryer. Just a disaster of a human. Constantly has some minor injury, from inexplicable bruises to a sprained wrist. Never having a good day but tries to remain positive. Anxious

Clint Barton: Class clown. Will make a fool of himself in front of every pretty girl in his vicinity. Is actually only funny half the time, the other half he's just loudly wrong. Confidence is key for him. Can charm and talk his way out of anything. Will make everyone laugh at the worst moments. Women reject him because he has a girl best friend

Wanda Maximoff: Boy crazy. Is ready to talk about her crush, boyfriend, or situationship at any given moment. Is never single for longer than a month. Will not take shit from a man and makes sure her and her friends are treated properly. Surprisingly good at balancing her friendships and relationships, doesn't neglect people. Has Pinterest boards for her wedding, dream home, and decor. Wants to be a stay at home mom. Big Swiftie and went to the Eras Tour

Pietro Maximoff: Unemployed friend. Always doing the most random thing on a Tuesday morning. One day he's kayaking in British Columbia, the next he's joined an MLM scam. He has a new cat? He adopted him from Istanbul on that trip no one knows about. He's drinking fresh lemonade? He actually volunteers with disabled elderly and Doris gives him lemons from her tree. Knows how to cook a turkey. Unclear if he's homeless or not, usually sleeping on a friend's couch or at a random woman's place (still on the couch)

[bulbabutt]

ok. elephant in the room or shit i thought about a while ago but didnt post, my going theory on the rise cancellation which idk if its a theory more-so as reading the room and putting the pieces together.

it seems like playmates fault to me on account of the toys being shit and then cancelled outright. like waves of toys ready to go in 2019, none saw the light of day.

obvs a lot of them were shit, not the point. the point being theres up to 6 waves of toys on the table at 2019 toy fair, only 1 and 2 were made. compare to the last toyfair showing the mutant mayhem toys.

playmates made both of these era of toys. do you see how much more effort went into one than the other. you can say movies are more popular blah blah blah. but playmates has made ALL tmnt toys since they ever existed, and comparing the rise toys to even the previous shows toys it seems obvious where they put the money.

anyway my theory here is playmates got told (or given or offered or whatever) mutant mayhem. they immediately went. oh. yeah this will make us money. lets start prepping moulds for this now, lets get ready to sell a shit ton of different stuff. and they just left all those rise things on the cutting room floor. they didnt tell anyone on the team they were gonna do that. they didnt say "yeah it doesnt matter what you do cuz we have this NEW thing coming" they just abandoned it. they pretended theyd give it a chance to come back if their movie went well just to appease them and us, cuz they saw more money elsewhere.

the dumb shit about that is like imagine saying that about like. batman or the avengers or something. yeah we wont make this cartoon anymore cuz we have a theatrical movie coming in 3 years. like. you can have more than one iteration YOU DID IT WITH 12.

truly this is nothing against mutant mayhem by all accounts it looks amazing, my point here is that im sick of playmates fucking over each tv show with their stupid hunks of plastic. it has in fact happened each time, rise was just faster

87 was good, then there were the 90s movies that got popular enough that the show needed to be closer in style to.

03 was good, then it got dark, told to be more fun (cuz kids like ben 10 now) so they made fast forward, which was also good but in its own way, but then tmnt 2007 came out and playmates literally said "nope nope, we want to save on moulds so change your show to look like this movie" then 07 didnt go well cuz warner bros didnt fucking market it (what i heard from a podcast w nolan north was that they were super preoccupied marketing the shit out of 300 at the time. which. ok very weird choice for kids toys)

then we have 2012 after nick buys the franchise. and 12 has the weird tonal dissonance of dark stuff and kid stuff, with the most "designed to be toys" characters in it, clearly messing w things in the show itself while it was going.

then bayverse comes out along side it and once its over we get rise, where the designs clearly take inspiration from that movie (donnie and raph specifically)

then mutant mayhem is announced and rise just. fades out of existence. planned seasons cut and cancelled. planned toys disappear.

anyway. none of those shows are bad. none of the movies that come out along side them are bad. its just the dumbassery of like. not being allowed more than one iteration at a time, and its nOT on account of popularity or brand synchronizing like youd think, its literally to not have to make as many DIFFERENT SHAPED hunks of plastic! its fucking stupid. rise's downfall seems to be POOR FUCKING PLANNING on playmates part for THEIR shitty toys and then also being cheap/unwilling to have TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF TOYS AT ONCE (proof being the 03/07 thing)

anyway. thats my theory or whatever that fills me with rage. i hate playmates and i think its insane that the downfall of rise literally comes down to two stupid companies and their desire to sell garbage to children.

[late-to-the-party-81]

One of the guys

AN: Yet another ask that's been a long time in the answering. My new year's resolution is to be quicker with these things! Hope you like some baffled Bucky, Em.

Unbeta'd ramblings

Masterlist

Relationship: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: Approx 700

CW: None - it's Fluff

“So, if you really want to compare the Mark 3 and the Mark 4, you gotta look at the injectors, because more efficient fuel transference means more horsepower…”

Your friend Rory was chatting to Bucky about his favourite subject. Cars. Bucky was trying not to let his eyes glaze over.

“Do you think we ought to rescue him?” You leant over, and stage-whispered into Kate’s ear. The dark-haired archer covered her giggle with her hand, but both of you caught Bucky’s slight side glance toward where you were both sitting, enjoying your cocktails. 

You’d decided to hold a cook-out for your birthday so there was a mix of all of your old friends, and all of the new friends you’d made through Bucky.

Growing up you’d had more male friends than female, a cabal of honorary brothers, so you’d always known that when you finally settled down your boys would have to at least partially haze your chosen partner, and then once accepted he would be absorbed into their group, whether he wanted to be or not.

‘Love me, love my bros.’

When you’d first introduced them to Bucky they’d been sceptical. You couldn’t blame them. Firstly, he was actually the only boyfriend you’d made ‘run the gauntlet’ so they knew you were serious. Secondly, it was James ‘Bucky’ Barnes. A man born in 1917, held hostage, tortured and brainwashed into committing heinous crimes for decades, before breaking free, becoming a fugitive, and then, finally being deprogrammed and pardoned. There was a lot to unpack there.

However, it seemed that he’d passed whatever test they’d put him through, because as soon as they’d arrived today, Rory, Jerome, Lee and the others stumbling out of an SUV, they’d practically kidnapped Bucky away from you and the rest of the Avengers.

And bless your guys, it was sweet. They wanted to include Bucky in all of their conversations about cars, computers, hockey and football. He could join in, obviously. He wasn’t completely clueless about those topics, but having grown up in the Great Depression, those sorts of things hadn’t been the focus of his youth. A different time, a different place.

“I saw a flying car once.”

“Bro! Really?” Rory stopped his rambling at Bucky’s statement and you felt the smile creep over your lips.

“Yeah, the 1944 World Expo. Howard Stark was showing off the car of the future. It was shiny and red. Oh I wanted a car like that, so bad, even if the prototype had a few bugs.  Still pissed when I found out that neither Howard or Tony had been able to make it a reality.”

“So this Expo was full of, like, futuristic shit?”

You watched them over your sunglasses, the boys all leaning in now, hanging on Bucky’s every word.

“Well, for 1944 it was definitely futuristic. But if you really want to talk futuristic, you gotta know about some of the tech they have in Wakanda.”

For emphasis, Bucky straightened out his left arm, wiggling his fingers and your friend’s mouths all dropped open as they watched the plates shift and heard the servos whir.

“You gotta tell us about Wakanda, man.” Jerome pushed himself slightly forward. “I can’t believe you’re tight with the royal family. Is Princess Shuri as hot in real life?”

Uh-oh. You winced internally. Bucky just raised an eyebrow, before speaking again.

“You know how you guys feel about Angel-face over there? About how if I’d disrespected her you’d all try to take me apart? Well that’s how I feel about Shuri. So you wanna ask me another question?”

Jerome had the good grace to look embarrassed and suddenly find a burning interest in his shoes. There was an awkward silence for a moment, before Lee leant forward.

“They’ve got some kind of Mag-lev trains haven’t they? Faster than the Japanese ones?”

You let out the breath you’d hadn’t even realised you’d been holding, as Bucky’s mouth broke into a broad grin. 

“Anyone got a pen and paper. I’m gonna need to do some visual aids for you chumps.”

They all broke out into peels of laughter and you turned back to Kate.

“Scratch that. I think he’s gonna be just fine.”

Taglist: @christywantspizza @jobean12-blog @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky @tuiccim @sidepartskinnyjeans @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @krissy25 @bodeckersdiamonddoll @goldylions @ohsymphony @luxeavenger @wheezy-stucky @doasyoudesireandlive @seitmai @poppunksnowwhite

[lizzie-is-here]

HOLY SHIT ANT MAN QUANTUMANIA SLAPPED

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

holy shit

that was wild af

ok first of all, them not even being subtle w the whole thing being kind of a metaphor for colonization? our first intro to teen cassie being her getting arrested for fighting back attacks on a peaceful protest? slaps

i love her sm.

also the whole time i could not get over how great everyone’s eyelashes looked

i want the scott book so bad fr you can buy it through marvel

RYAN? AS IN BUZZFEED UNSOLVED RYAN?

I SCREAMED BRO AND SO DID MY FRIEND

the quantum realm looked so cool so things i thought were cool saga:

the manta ray flying thing

the snail horses

the hot general lady

the hot telepath

the sun jellyfish

um. the ant society? hello there are probs trillions of them what we saw at the end was a tiny fraction and i love that for them so much. you don’t understand that made me so happy.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS DARREN

HOWD HE GO FROM THIS

TO THIS

shit was horrific and when i first saw it i very loudly said “oh my gawd” in a full imax theater

ok but his death made me so sad. like cassie just gave him this great pep talk and he fuckin dies. what the hell. rip new avenger

maybe i’m just too emotional

hot general lady was hot and her staff could make people disappear

WHYD THEY KILL THE ROBOT DUDE NO

HE LOOKED LIKE RESIN

>:(

janet being a badass fr fr

omg my ear is bleeding

oh well moving on

that scene in the probability storm with all the scotts helping each other made me cry baskin robins scott slayed

ok but the rings around kang’s ship thing reminded me of the shang chi rings

and the ten rings were also emitting a signal, like how they all got into the quantum realm in the first place

the mid credits scene confused me lmao. i guess it’s the council thing from the loki series

BUT THAT POST CREDIT SCENE

ooh.

#let möbius and loki kiss 2023

but overall, this movie slapped. i say that about every movie but still. i loved the emphasis on scott and cassie’s relationship, i thought the special effects looked cool, and the creativity put into making the people of the quantum realm diverse but still very human was tangible.

10/10 good movie, though i do think it’s funny that ant man went from “thief that hangs out with his bestie in san francisco and occasionally fights with the avengers” to “oh my god he saved everyone and is now stuck with a very powerful multiversal enemy”

[pnf-n-mcu-is-life]

Marvel Quotes I liked (gonna gradually add)

Avengers, Age of Ultron:

Strucker: “Keep going.” 

Agent: “But sir, They’re the avengers!”Literally two seconds later: 

Strucker: “No surrender!” *Turns to person* “I will surrender.” 

Nat: Could someone help with the bunker? Hulk: literally runs through the bunker, breaking it

Nat: thanks.

Tony, as the science dork he is: please be a secret door, please be a secret door, please be a secret door, yay! 🎉 

Scott, in Tony’s suit, instructing The Ants tm

Tony: who’s speaking???? 

Scott: it’s your conscience. We don’t talk a lot these days.

WandaVision: 

Ep. 5

Vision, turning back into human Vision: oh, Agnes, I was just fluffing this pillow, with my,….face. 

Ep. 6, Halloween:

Vision: *makes a pose like he’s about to shoot an arrow* I smell crime…

Darcy: Hey, there he is. The guy who almost got murdered by his own murder squad.

Director Hayward: You work for me?

Darcy: I actually don’t know.

Monica: *sighs*

Ep. 7, Breaking the fourth wall/ Wanda is having an existential crisis: 

Wanda: Look, we’ve all been there, right? Letting our fear and anger get the best of us, intentionally expanding the borders of the false world we created.

Billy: Do we have to go, Mom? Someone needs to be here to take care of you.

Agnes: Don’t worry, I don’t bite! 

…I actually did bite a kid once.

Ep. 8, Previously on:

Agnes/atha: C’mon. *Going to see Wandas worst memories*

Wanda: No.

Agnes/atha: Did you forget who’s got your kids locked away in her bewitched basement?

Dr. Strange:

Some bad guy: Mr. Strange…

Stephen: Doctor.

Guy: Mr. Doctor?

Stephen: It’s Strange.

Guy: Yes, I know that it’s strange.

Iron Man 2: 

Coulson, walking in: We need you for something.

Pepper: Oh hi Phil!

Tony: His name is Agent.

Spider-Man, FFH:

Peter: I-I can’t do this! I’m just your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.

Fury: Bitch, you been to space.

Peter: Wha-no- that was by accident!!

Fury: Too Bad.

Spider-Man, NWH:

Norman Osborn: Where exactly are we?

MJ, to the villains trapped in the sanctum: You’re in a wizard’s basement. 

Otto: What?

MJ: There’s no way to sugarcoat this. You’re trapped in a wizard’s basement.

 Tobey’s Peter: okay, Peter 3.

Andrew’s Peter: What? I thought I was Peter 2.

Tom’s Peter: Okay, okay. You’re Peter 2 (Tobey) and you’re Peter 3 (Andrew).

Green Goblin: *stabs Peter 2*

Peter 3: You okay?

Peter 2: Yeah, I’ve been stabbed before.

Peter 3: Ok, good good good.

[Just-the Peters. They’re so…brother. Y’know? And I live for it.

Also, I have resorted to calling Tom’s Peter Peter-Man.]

Wakanda Forever:

Riri: If we could find a way to dry his ass out, he won’t be as strong.

Shuri: Yo, that’s it.

Deadpool:

Wade, counting the bullets he has left while shooting people: 7, shit. 6, fuck, 5, shit-fuck.

Ant-Man and The Wasp, Quantumania:

Scott: You gotta jump and tap. *Knocks out a few people* See that?

Cassie: No, you were like, this small.

[WHY DOES REALISTIC MODOK LOOK LIKE THAT AhhhHHHHhhHHH]

Hawkeye:

Kate: Hey look, that one’s you. *points to Avenger cosplayers*

Clint: No, that’s Katniss Everdeen. Now, let’s go.

Jack: The secret to a good risotto is to…agitate it. Just enough.

Kate: So, how exactly?

Clint: *flashbacks to explosion after explosion* …

Guy with a thick accent who kiddnapped Clint: Kate Bishop is guy, bro.

Clint: Kate Bishop is not guy.

Guy: Kate BIshop is guy in costume.

Clint, Karen Edition: Can I speak to your manager? This is like talking to furniture.

Gotg Vol. 3

Peter: People on Earth die when they’re like, 50.

Mantis: They die when they’re 50???

P: I dunno, something like that.

M: What’s even the point of being born?

P: Exactly! [You good dude]

M: Are you about to die?

P, shocked: I’m not 50!

Mantis: What colour button did you push?

Peter: Blue, for the blue suit!

Nebula: Blue is the open line for everyone.

Mantis: Orange is for blue. Blue is for orange, Yellow is for green, green is for red, and red is for yellow.

Drax: No, Yellow is for yellow, green is for red, and red is for green.

Mantis: How do you know that?

Drax: Try it then.

Mantis, to Peter: HELLLOOOOO.

Peter, feedback ringing in his ears: How the hell was I supposed to know all of that?

Drax: Seems intuitive.

[ginsoakedgirl80]

I'm feeling like doing a public service today, so if you want to watch the mess that is Fighting for Love for Wang RuiChang or because of two women get married for plot reasons, I got the what to skip for you since I was stupid enough to watch the whole thing

For starting out: This drama is about Mai (Zhang TianAi), who is a poor orphan who wants to avenge her parents, living in Shengdu, the capital of Nanxia. She watched them get killed by henchmen and her adoptive brother Chen Qi 9 years ago. To move freely in the world, she disguised herself as a man since then. My Drama List is not representing her life well since she is in fact not roaming the martial arts world when we meet her but doing petty crime to fund her life and revenge quest. For plot reasons she saves the life of male lead Shang YiZhi (Zhang HaoWei), a silly son of a Marquis. He invites her to stay at his house where he sees her back when she takes a bath and finds out that she is actually a woman because heavens beware of a man falling in love with another man. He doesn't tell anyone that she's female though so it's funny to see people react to him being overly protective of Mai. (Seriously the amount of times his attendant steps out when those two hang out. Mu Bai is an ally)

His father, a general, dies from a bad medicine prescription upon returning from the border. His mother is the sister of the emperor and fears for his life so she uses her sisterly influence to send YiZhi to the border to take over his father's army. We also find out that his mother is actually his aunt because he is the son of the late crown prince. This is why the emperor wants to kill him, though he doesn't know his real identity. See the emperor is a paranoid cuckoo bananas dude and likes to have cleavage and dance and get people killed and look at the sun through his fingers.

Also for all the things this drama probably cut to get to the 36 episodes they really HAD TO keep in every time the 700 sliding doors between his living and office quarters are opened and closed to emphasize how removed from the world he is. The things those sliding doors operators have seen!

Meanwhile Mai travels to a border city to meet a man who knows where Chen Qi is. To get into the border city, she steals a passport from Chang YuQing (Wang RuiChang) who is from the enemy country Beimo and happens to be on a spy mission.

So if you only watch for Wang RuiChang, enter at episode 3 at 35:00.

But be warned, his character is minor and if there was ever any more backstory to him shot to explain his motivations, his sworn brotherhood with Cui Yan and the trouble of the Chang family at the court of Beimo or why Chen Qi hates the Chang family, it was all cut (or I already forgot about it). I told you this drama is a mess.

This is also a good time for the people who want to watch for the two women getting married (spoiler alert: it's one sided love and a marriage to proof that Mai is a man) because YuQing and his army sack the city and this is when Mai rescues teenager Xiu'er (Jiang YunXi) as a promise to a prison guard. Xiu'er got a crush on her and has no clue that Mai is a woman until they get engaged. For Mai she is someone who needs to be protected and she wants to marry her off to her bestie before.

Also pictured next to Mai feminist icon Tang ShaoYi a true dage who got no problem with Mai being in the army once he finds out and just wants to be bros with her.

Mai finds out that Chen Qi is actually the marshal of the Beimo army that is attacking Nanxia's border so she decides to enlist to fight him on the battlefield. Her father actually taught her battle tactics and she read the art of war so obviously she rises through the ranks despite going absent without leave and other things that would get you executed if the general of the army wasn't in love with you.

Plot (which I won't spoil) that includes Wang RuiChang sometimes more and often less happens until ep 22, when Yizhi gets summoned back to the capital and Mai joins him with his other trusted guys and Xiu'er (she is an afterthought mainly). This is also when the screenwriters or the editors lost any interest in Beimo apart from some captive prince stuff, so if you are only watching for Wang RuiChang you can skip ahead after his (great) scene in ep 22.

In Shengdu too much time is spent on Yizhi and his court stuff, like I want this to be about Mai doing cool army stuff not some badly written and edited succession to the throne plot. She does use her plotting skills for him to survive because dude is a silly jerk who is not worthy of her and yet she loves him. sigh.

queer intermission

Due to something that happened before ep 22 the rumor that Mai is a woman spreads in her army causing unrest which leads to Xiu'er proposing marriage to her.

(THEY NEVER SHOW THE ACTUAL DIVORCE???)

This is shampoo commercial territory. Just that for censorship reasons Xiu'er emphasizes that Mai is too important for the army and therefore the whole country to get executed just for being a woman and also she still owes her for saving her life back in the day.

Tang dage gets it with her reasoning.

They're having the cross-cupped wine on camera but not the bowing to heaven, parents and each other to not piss off the censors.

Once they are in the bridal chamber/tent someone spies on them and sees Mai without her binder so he gets killed. End of wedding. Why is Xiu'er in the army camp in the first place? During the border defense arc she heard that Mai got wounded and went to tend to her and never left.

Xiu'er is plot relevant again in ep 32 and is in the final episode but apart from that she is little more than Mai's attendant.

Mai continues to wear male attire most of the time, after she stopped being undercover, apart from the time she actually had to be in the harem and hated it.

end of intermission

ok back to the Wang RuiChang scenes

What is relevant for getting what is going on once you jump back in:

Yizhi's mother didn't go through hiding Yizhi from the emperor for Yizhi to not become emperor so she throws him into the struggle for the throne against his will. He does not want to do that and just be with Mai. (the good old putting the greater good above ones personal desires it never gets old. Of course his mother wins by guilt tripping him into becoming emperor by getting herself killed.) People get kidnapped, people get killed. Mai becomes the master of the emperor's grandson.

Yizhi's mother had made an agreement with the prime-minister that he would help Yizhi to the throne and in turn Yizhi would marry his daughter further increasing the prime-minister's influence in court. (like me you will think dude you are already having the highest office under the emperor what is your deal, well he wants his family to be the rulers of Nanxia eventually. dude likes to draw tigers in his spare time so you know his deal)

So who do we need to show up? Yuqing! So Mai can be implicated as a Beimo spy by the prime-minister. Luckily Yizhi had killed Yuqing's sworn brother earlier on so Yuqing had a reason to sneak into Shengdu to make an attempt on Yizhi's life at the beginning of episode 30 (it was only 8 episodes without him but it felt like eons).

We do get a little of him being cheeky in ep 31

He leaves in ep 31 and shows up again in ep 35 (starting ~min 15) and 36.

ep 31-35 So after Yizhi married the prime-minister's daughter and she becomes empress, Mai was devastated and went on a bender. The prime-minister turns the court against Mai so she loses her general job. She asks Yizhi for the mansion of her father and lives there, wallowing in lovesickness, grief and childhood trauma until Yizhi sends the edict to make her his honored imperial consort. She reluctantly lives in the harem but hates being locked up (she is a general gdi), dealing with the jealous empress and also refuses Yizhi so they strike a deal that allows her to live outside. More palace stuff happens with the prime-minister.

When the Beimo army invades again, she is the most capable to do it, so she gets her army back and sets off to fight against Beimo in episode 35.

I think there must have been more filmed and then cut for length because some things are alluded too that would have required some scenes beforehand. Ultimately this drama feels rather lifeless and is just going through the motions apart from some characters adding some sparkle.

The ending does make sense, gotta love that she didn't let herself get locked up in the harem for that loser.

I need to stop watching ascending to the throne dramas that are not well written, why do I keep doing this to myself? Oh right, because I thought that this would be about a female general and ignored that he is the son of the legitimate crown prince. Of course he had to become emperor xP