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knightyoomyoui · 3 months ago

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TWICE x M Reader - "Cry For Me": PART 4

A/N: We're now down to three remaining parts for this series. Hopefully I still made the progress of the story clear despite the word count being minimized compared to the previous parts. Been months since I posted the last part, so let's see where we left off and how it will go for YN and the girls again on their respective agendas.

PREVIOUSLY ON CRY FOR ME: PART 3...

"Well, I have to go now. I still have somewhere to go, I just came here to remind about our supposed meetup yesterday." Jeongyeon excused herself.

"Oh okay, be safe on the road Jeongyeon." You understand, nodding softly and smiling at her. "Goodbye and thanks for the time!"

"You too, YN." Jeongyeon waved her hand at you, but instead you returned the gesture by wrapping her around on your embrance, sending undescribable sensation tingling around her body. "I-it's really good to have you back, Jeong.", you remarked about the redefinition of your relationship with her. Jeongyeon listened, her heart surprisingly softened as she heard the tenderness in his voice.

Now that you disappeared in front of her and entered the building again, that left Jeongyeon to be stunned once again at your heartful and cheerful action, she sighed deeply and clenched her fists at how tough it is again to resist the glimpse of your old being while knowing the bitter truth of it that you still haven't changed, leading yourself astray.

She watched your back distancing away from her, breathing gets heavier as a result of a familiar longing feeling increasing, having her saddened at your lunch that brings her back to that particular time in the past when she had her first date with you and those other numerous times you had to take her outside before, almost giving the same vibes in comparison.

The next day, you were busy reviewing all of the documents you needed to sign and deliver to your coworkers for arranging when your thoughts turned to Tzuyu, realizing that you hadn't caught up with her yet after that disappointing and cold night you two had.

Checking the mini-calendar on your desk, you discovered that tomorrow marks your seventh monthsary with her. After completing all of the necessary papers, you closed several tabs on your computer and opened a new one to search the internet for the best restaurant to go to on a date with your partner.

Going through your automatic dispenser to refill your cup with some fresh black coffee, you dialed Tzuyu’s phone number and waited for her response as it rang. 20 seconds had passed, but your call was instead left unanswered and labeled ‘cannot be reached’. You just thought that she’s probably busy right now with her work, and you understood that it’s not even her break yet, so you’ll just save it for later.

You then went to another option of leaving her a message to invite her. “Hey Tzu, can we go out tomorrow? It’s your day off, and we can spend time together for our anniversary. You’ll definitely love our date, so please accept. Love you! ” You sent it to her before shutting it off and taking a sip of your hot beverage.

Hours later, after you have called it a time to dismiss as you just played games for an hour without any task left to do aside from those you have completed already, you reopened your message box and noticed that Tzuyu had replied. A grin appeared on your face as she agreed for you to take her out.

However, that wasn’t the only reason what made you happy.

You left the building and greeted your workmates to take care of themselves on way home and some goodnights, you went to your car and drift away towards the destination you have in mind to end this day in a positive note.

Not much of a kilometer away, you parked in a spa that is still brightly lit, along with the rest of the places here and the lampposts beside the streetwalks.

You stepped on the entrance and noticed that the door already had a sign hanging with a message saying “Sorry, we are closed,” but you just scoffed and continued to open the door for yourself. Upon entering the aforementioned place, the room was quiet, the ambiance was soothing, and widely spaced as there's no crowd around.

Except for this other short haired woman who shares the same room as him tonight. You watched her gather all the things that they usually use for their customers and return them to their rightful place.

Hearing your footsteps on the floor echoing through the room, she has found your presence from the distance. She looked around and you matched a wide gummy smile that almost identical but not as large as Mina’s.

She wears a simple gray masseuse uniform with thigh high stockings in combo. You walked closer to her and made yourself relax on the vacant chair near her.

“My special regular customer has arrived, I see.” She teased and hid a smile as she carries a tray along with her. “Exhausted with work?”

“Kinda. Still felt like I need it though.” You said as you leaned back on the chair and closed your eyes while you waited for her. “How about you? Was there many customers today?”

“Yeah,. there’s like some group of women who came here earlier to do some bit of makeover before they attend some event or something. I heard it was a wedding.” She said, still feeling the effects of multitasking on assisting them for massage and beauty service both being a manager and a worker at the same time.

“Hmm. Then we do both really need to make ourselves more cozy for tonight, aren’t we?” You smiled as you watched her approached you. She sat beside you and caressed your arm.

“Are you perhaps thinking about doing it, YN?” She wheezed.

“Oh I have a lot of things in mind.” You smirked, holding her hand and rubbing it with your thumb.

“I would like for us to go all the way but let’s save it for next time. My body felt like it’s about to crumble tonight.” She sighed, slumping her shoulders.

You just chuckled and slapped her arm. “Easy, I’m talking about accompanying you and doing some massage.”

Jihyo leaned aback. “You can? But you’re tired too, though. You don’t need to be if you can’.”

“Nah, don’t mind me. In fact, I can still do it. I mean, I won’t initiate on you in the first place if I knew I can’t, right?” You winked, making her blush. “Let me help you also this time and return the favor, you’re not the only one who has skills on helping people relax and I came here because I need you right now, Jihyo.” You said, hiding the double meaning of it by referring to your girlfriend Tzuyu who wasn’t able to provide your urge yesterday when she went through a bad day to be entertained.

You pulled her arm to place her closer on you. The woman named Jihyo crashed against your body. She fixed her position on top of you, crouching against yours as you began kissing her deeply.

“And also, it’s fine with me if we can’t do it tonight. We can still find some way to help our urges while we give each other some body relaxation.”

“You do you, then. Take me to paradise, YN.”

Jihyo returned the intimacy, dragging her lips along with your movement. She felt her body heaten up with your hands groping her curves, on every parts you can reach on her. It was an easy access, as she’s petite compared to your size. You could’ve manhandled her under your dominance but you respect her decision to disregard it for now.

“I’ll be right back.” Jihyo cut your kiss with her as she gets up from your body, pushing herself away to stand and search for something to leave you for a while. Not wanting to keep you unattended, she signals you with a seductive “come hither” motion along with some bottle of herbal oil and lube she carries with her.

You immediately stand up and entered a familiar private room, the spot where you first met Jihyo after servicing you with her “special massage”. The table is all clean and prepared, she placed the bottles on the tray and not even bothering to have any questions, you just watched Jihyo taking off her uniform from top to bottom.

Carefully concentrating on every action she does, the clothes have been loosened and dropped on the floor. She steps out of her heels and just like that, Jihyo is now standing in front of you, barely naked with fabulous matching pair of red lingerie and black stockings.

You felt more intense as Jihyo smirked at you and she started climbing on the table. You viewed every glorious parts of her sexy and alluring body that wouldn’t be able to resist anytime.

“I can’t be the only who’ll be left hanging here without any clothes on. Take it off so that we can start.” Jihyo sat on the surface and she reaches for your coat, spreading it to slip through your shoulders. Then she proceeds to unbutton your white polo and opens up one of her desires for men, those packed set of abs that you’ve worked hard to built thanks also to Momo’s help.

She licks her lips as her hands travelled through your crotch and sensed something large bulging on the center. “Couldn’t control it, huh?”

“How could I be? You’re so damn sexy right now, Jihyo.” You said breathily as you sneakily glanced down at her deep cleavage forming as her arms compressed with the lustful touches she applies on your groin area.

“Let’s not keep your friend suffering while waiting, start ahead first with my back. It’s where it hurts a lot.” She said as she laid down on the table with her front figure first.

Her entire back frame all presented to you, you grabbed the bottle and spurted some amount of oil on your hands and rubbed it to create some heat, you then began spreading it across Jihyo’s toned back. Every glide, pound, and dig you create with your strong fingers across her succulent, slippery and smooth tanned skin, it arouses you more when you start hearing her hums and moans especially when you unclasp her bra and proceeded focusing on her sides.

And you spent the rest of the night with a much-needed session to satisfy and release your temptations and pleasures with Jihyo through different segments of a wild body massage.

The following day after finally meeting Jihyo, you shifted back to your responsibilities as a thoughtful and loving boyfriend to one of the gorgeous women you have ever pulled while pretending to not have any idea that you didn’t just met and became wild with another woman than her as usual. You visited Tzuyu’s house with her parents and there she was, dressed in a simple orange outfit that still fits her so great as always.

Her visual has this magic that makes her look blooming on every attire she puts on, and ofcourse the other part about it which is your favorite is that you’re the only one who could also take those off from her and admire her body even further.

Thinking that hopefully it happens on your special day with her and might be the perfect “next time” that she states few days ago to do it, you acted normal and presented yourself as a nice boyfriend to her in front of her parents. You excused her to them and brought her to your car.

As she sat beside you, you kissed her on the cheek and smiled at her. “Happy Monthsary, Tzu. I’ll do my best to make this special for the both of us, okay?”

“Okay.” She only replied with a smile that you weren’t aware that it’s full of force that she did with it.

You drove her to the restaurant of your choosing, after winning your consideration through some background check and reception it received from its previous customers. It had you assured that this would be a wonderful location for you to pour your love on this breathtaking woman.

Holding her hand, you had her following you to the entrance and to be assisted by the receptionist. “Reserved table for Mr. YN LN, please.”

“There’s one near at the back, sir.” She pointed at the direction after checking your inquiry. “I suppose you’re taking her on some lovely date tonight, sir.”

“More than that. It’s our monthsary today.”

“Oh is that so? Congratulations to the both of you. I wish you both a well-spent evening here at Twice’s.”

“Thank you.” Both you and Tzuyu replied and bowed at her respectfully.

“Follow me, please.” The receptionist led the way and showed you both the spot where you’ll both be having to enjoy the rest of the night being alone together just like what you needed to be.

You set the chair for Tzuyu like a gentleman and she takes it with no hesitation. You made your seat in front of her and both then looked around at the indoor atmosphere it possess.

“So, did you like the place?” You asked her. “I went to find the perfect one just for you.”

“It was great.” She answered plainly. You nodded and felt relieved at her response.

“We’re almost surpassing to a year now, yet it still feels like yesterday since the first time I met you.” You said to her. Tzuyu just watches you and nodded before she lowered her head.

“Have you perhaps thought of what it would be for us in the future, Tzuyu? I-if we’re still gonna be like this?”

“Sometimes.” She said nonchalantly.. “I do care for what’s going to happen someday but I don’t make it affect me too much, I just leave it off to what we have right now. Because I don’t want to call it in advance because of the things that could come for us to face first before we get through there.”

“But you don’t want to let it happen, right?”

“Happen what?”

“That there might be a time that it’ll take us two apart and ruin what we would’ve have grow together. Not only for us, but for our family that I wish we could create in the future.”

Tzuyu looked at you speechlessly after those words came out from your mouth. She wouldn’t deny that it was indeed sweet and touching, to hear your lover being frightful of the challenges that them as a couple might have to deal with and conquer together for the sake of a better life to maintain as time progresses.

But she can’t be fooled anymore by your fluffy talks and foolish acts of pity. She has learned enough about the real you. She starts to feel her hatred tense up, filling her insides at how could you just say all of that without any complete sincerity and determination.

If you can act at whatever you do or say in front of her just to hide your faulty secrets, she wouldn’t let herself to lose through these ridiculous game you have placed her in. She wants to strike back for making her feel disposable and underestimated. Just because you created these scheme that doesn’t mean that you’ll win also. You may be the one in control and know the mischievous moves you have to execute but if Tzuyu becomes just as unpredictable or should she say… even more, there’s got to be a way to turn the tables that seemed impossible around.

And that is through unveiling every piece of the lies and misconceptions that you have shared not only her, but for Nayeon and Jeongyeon who fell victim into his disguise.

If you may be thinking that you just could get away with all your pretend, Tzuyu wants to be the one who will be involve in putting the shameful side of yours in full attention and revelation for everybody to witness.

She would’ve love to share her future and dreams having you by her side but it all changes beginning today.

From wanting you to change her life for the better forever to Tzuyu wanting you to be gone out of her heart that you didn’t deserve to attain and non-existent to her.

Her eyes largened and stared down in fury at the table while she felt her fists clenching at the cloth of her dress imagining every amount karma she wants to unleash on you.

“Tzuyu, are you okay?” You asked her. “That table won’t do no harm on you, don’t threaten it too much with your stares.I’m right here, you can share what troubles you..” You joked.

If only you know that she actually wants to do it all on you by hurting you in any procedure she would do it in no time just to see you cry for her in mercy. Tzuyu thought about it.

“S-sorry. I might’ve spaced out. If f only the table can speak, it would express its fear on me.”

“Yeah, I wonder why you seemed mad. Did anything happen? Was there a reason?”

“Yeah, that’s me having a date with a cheater I couldn’t wait to expose and dump him out to where he belongs..” She said on her inner thoughts but again, she had to keep her composure, not wanting to create any scandal or ruckus in such public place that elegant people like her manages their time with their company.

She wants to embarass only you, and she rather prefer to see it all by herself to savor each moment.

“Nothing.” She fakely shook it off and chuckled.

“Okay…” You just understood her. “Just tell me if there’s something wrong, okay?”

“Alright.” But deep down, Tzuyu doesn’t want to, because doing it would rather worsen her mood knowing that the main problem is the one who is she currently facing at.

The date went smooth in your opinion, although you have been noticing that Tzuyu is acting strange and less expressive than usual. You tried your best to cheer her up and with the smiles she’s been giving to you, it does made you assured that it’s effective of making you look a concerned and caring boyfriend for Tzuyu.

Unfortunately, your plan to have an intimate time with Tzuyu failed as she requested to go home already because she is tired and getting sleepy. You helped her sleep and left her home, with her parents thanking you for making Tzuyu happy on celebrating another milestone of your relationship with her. Unbeknownst to you, Jeongyeon who got stuck into a light traffic inside a taxicab, saw you and Tzuyu depart from the restaurant. Observing Tzuyu holding a large bouquet of flowers while holding your right hand as both strolled through the sidewalk and crossed the street, Jeongyeon felt an immense jealousy for the girl you replaced instead of her who was the first wife you ever had.

She slowly frowned. The cab then continues to detach her away from the painful sight she has just witnessed as the vehicles went moving again.

Meanwhile, Tzuyu on her bedroom, woke up right after you closed the door. A teardrop filled with hatred and anger fell on her face, her heart aching knowing at the fact that you’ll be back on doing your habit of leaving her again to whoever that girl she had caught you sharing a time together at the gym.

The next morning, Momo received a message from you and she directly informed Nayeon about it, saying that you wouldn’t be able to meet her today at the gym because you’re busy and you just had your body massaged few days ago.

Nayeon then began wondering who would you be seeing next today if not Momo already. She then alerted Jeongyeon that you may try to connect with her while Momo did the same for Sana. Tzuyu on the other hand, was left unbothered by Nayeon now because she already knew that the two would be having a date yesterday.

This is now a part of their plan to keep you on track on whatever bullshit you may attempt to do behind their backs, and Nayeon would be leading the way to remain her eyes spying on you discreetly as the rest of the girls update her about your possible whereabouts to visit.

You could say that Nayeon has became obsessed on chasing hell to put your deceitful intentions into its rightful punishment.

Without any of their idea, you arrived to a café after craving for some freshly brewed coffee solely made by your most favorite barista in this place.

You went to the cashier and there she is, immediately serving you with all welcome. “I suppose you had enough of palpitating your chest with your bland coffee you got there on your office.”

“You’re too harsh on me, but you’re also right Chaeyoung. Well, what’s new that you would like to recommend me to try?”

“Our special Caramel Mocchiato iced coffee. Tasted it yesterday and it’s splendid. Would you like it?”

“Ofcourse, I have trust on your taste. It was great, I could tell when I already got one from the source too.” You winked and clicked your tongue, turning Chaeyoung’s cheeks reddish as she remembered that moment you’re implying at.

“Damn it, now’s not the time to be flirty, YN. I’m at work.” She warned you.

“Alright alright, fine. Give it to me.” You said as you started pulling out a credit card on your wallet. Chaeyoung sighed and shook her head at your silliness. You grabbed a seat for yourself and waited patiently for your beloved girl to serve you the coffee you’re excited to taste made purely by the skills of this pretty barista.

“Here’s your Caramel Mocchiato.” Chaeyoung said, placing it on your table. She stood in front of you as she observed you take a sip from it. You simmered it on your mouth and analyzed your opinion about the drink she recommended you.

Chaeyoung’s nervousness was then replaced by uplift when she saw your face brightened after you swallowed it. “Take it as my new usual now, Chaeng. That was delicious.”

She playfully punched you on the shoulder. “Told you. I’m glad you like it.”

“I knew I would be, it was made by you. You never cease to disappoint me so far, Chaeyoung. Maybe this is why I still keep myself chasing for your interest.” You said with a smile. Chaeyoung grinned and pinched your cheek.

“You want a good news? I’m liking every single bit of what you do to me, YN.” She stated before she walked away with confidence from you. You wheezed and chuckled, delighted to hear it from her.

10 minutes after you left, Chaeyoung was still servicing the customers in line with their orders until a certain someone reached her turn, who not only demanded for her choice through the menu, but also the full attention of the barista to join her for an abrupt discussion about something serious, which led the latter into curiousity.

#twice #twice au #kpop au #twice fanfic #twice oneshot #kpop fanfic #kpop oneshot #nayeon x reader #jeongyeon x reader #momo x reader #sana x reader #jihyo x reader #mina x reader #dahyun x reader #chaeyoung x reader #tzuyu x reader #twice x reader

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sapphosewrites · 2 months ago

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Trektober Day 6: Surgery

Jake had never worried about it as a little kid. Both his parents were Starfleet, so what? That was true of most other families he knew. It never occurred to him to worry about whether it was more dangerous than other professions.

It occurred to him after Mom died. What if something had happened to Dad? What would Jake do without parents? Would he be stuck in space, drifting from ship to ship, alone?

When he expressed these concerns to Dad, Dad explained that there was a Plan in place. If anything happened to Dad, Jake would live with Grandpa. If Grandpa couldn't take care of him, he'd go to stay with Aunt Judith.

Jake relied on the Plan, memorized it and reviewed it whenever Dad was in danger, and even sometimes when he wasn't. He imagined living in the apartment above the restaurant, or going to school with cousin Rachel. As he got older, he realized the Plan would involve him taking care of Grandpa too, badgering him to take his medications and go to appointments, the way Dad did.

The Plan changed with time. Jake decided he wanted to stay on the station, which was coming to feel like home. Jadzia became the officially named backup guardian, but Grandpa made sure Jake knew he'd always be welcome on Earth.

When Dad is unconscious lying on that bed in the infirmary and Jake and Kasidy stand over him, reeling, muscle memory kicks in, and Jake starts automatically reviewing the Plan. Had Dad told Kasidy about it? Should Jake? Should he think about where Kasidy might fit in the Plan? Would she want to?

Then he remembers that he's 18, and living alone (well, with Nog), and there is no Plan any more. No designated adult to step in and take care of the hard stuff, to remind Jake to eat vegetables and ask if he's thought more about school. Jake is the adult. If Dad dies, then the person in charge of taking care of Jake... is just Jake. He'll be alone.

He tells Dr. Bashir to go ahead with the surgery. The Prophets can't possibly need Benjamin Sisko more than his son does.

#trektober 2024 #my writing

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smokingasters · 27 days ago

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An excerpt from Psycho Pass Asylum- Restaurant De Campagne. Translated into English by me. It follows Kagari’s story about how he grew interested in cooking “natural” food. The narration is in flashback and serves as a prequel to S1.

Happy Halloween 🎃 (Dividers by @cafekitsune)

✴️ If you copy and repost this anywhere else, I expect you to credit me and link it back to my blog. Please don’t repost without credit, thanks ☺️ (reblogs are welcome!)

I have been helping out in the restaurant for more than a month...

That morning, Kagari was busy in his single room in the Enforcer's dormitory of the Public Security Bureau building. As it was exactly one month later and his salary had been paid, Kagari could not wait to set up a kitchen in his room to cook. On the cooking table were piles of various natural ingredients that Mitsuha, the owner of the restaurant had given him.

Due to the series of unfortunate incidents involving the recent contamination by foreign substances, many customers grew afraid of consuming natural ingredients and had cancelled their orders. That’s why Kagari was able to obtain these rare natural ingredients.

He opened the door of his room and pasted a sign on the door that said: "Yummier than food prepared by automatic processors".

"Alright!"

It was Kagari's day off. His day off at the PSB coincided with Campagne's day off, so he didn’t have to go to help at the restaurant either. Although he had something to do in the afternoon, he had the whole morning to himself. Kagari wanted to review the cooking skills he learned from Mitsuha last month. However, the food prepared by a latent criminal could not be served to the guests of Campagne, so his food could only be served to his colleagues, the other Enforcers.

"Yo, Kagari, what are you upto?"

The first person to pass by his room was the Enforcer Kogami Shinya. The top two buttons of Kogami's shirt were undone, his tie hung loose, and he held a cigarette between his lips and a lighter between his fingertips. After lighting the cigarette, Kogami took a puff of smoke.

"Hey Ko-chan! Do you want to eat lunch with me?"

"Hmm? Ah, although I don't care whether I eat or not... but you make it look like a spread from 'The King's Restaurant'.” Kogami Shinya, his senior, an Enforcer from Division 1 uttered with a wry smile.

Ko-chan was originally an Inspector and was a classmate of Ginoza-san when they were students, graduating as a topper from the academy. As an Inspector, he also supervised Tot-san (Masaoka) and several others. Kagari didn't know why Kogami became an Enforcer. Enforcers usually don't talk about their past and don't pry into each other’s lives.

It's only when they talked about topics related to books that Kagari could get a glimpse of Kogami's past.

"Eh, The King's Restaurant? What is that?" Kagari asked.

"A fairy tale I read as a child. The protagonist of the story is a wilful childish king. The beginning of "The King's Restaurant" is a bit like what you are doing now. The king opened a restaurant in his castle, but because his cooking was terrible he received no customers. After a long time, a rabbit appeared and ordered a salad of roses. A butterfly also ordered a frog's tears soup from him and screamed in panic. There was also a frog who ordered a fried snake. It was an absurd story. The snake put on its own clothes, lit the fire and jumped into the oil, saying "Ah, the temperature is just right", and was fried until it was completely cooked. In the end, the frog swallowed the snake whole. But the end revealed that everything was a dream.”

"Why does this story sound like a hallucination caused by drugs?"

"Doesn't it?" Kogami smirked. His usually sharp gaze and closed off expression softened as he spoke about books.

"Fairy tales and fiction not only teach morality, but also contain an absurd and unrealistic narrative. I prefer them to rigid and preachy books. My favourite story in this book is called The Greedy King—

Don't eat too much at once!

Paper thin rice crackers

Taro cakes two centimetres thick

Carrots shredded needle thin

Remember to eat everything!

"I miss the rhymes my mother wrote. When I was a child, I often asked her to recite them to me."

Hearing Ko-chan becoming nostalgic, Kagari thought to himself that Ko seemed to have been raised by a loving parent.

These were the memories of almost everyone who grew up in Japan when they were young. But Kagari didn't know what it felt like to be loved unconditionally.

Back then, he was like an untamed animal when he raged and trashed the isolation unit. The staff tried to treat him like a human, but in the end he was still too arbitrary. He was lucky that they did not execute him.

"He is still a child, there is still a possibility..."

Tch. If I had heard such words back then, I would have made their lives even more miserable.

My views have changed. I think there is still a lot of good in this society despite the Sibyl System.

It’s just that I don’t fit in. When I think about the past, I feel ashamed and hurt. I repeat and regret my mistakes. But in the end I still forget everything. People are like that.

No. If I'm in a bad mood, the food I cook will taste bad. I should think of something happy...

"Ko-chan, let's make up a rhyme just for fun." Kagari said.

"Even though you brought it up, forget it." Ko-chan's reply surprised him.

"The food described in a story is often inspired by the author's own imagination, because you can never taste that kind of food in reality. That's good. The delicious food you read about is something you can never taste. That’s rather profound, right?”

The things Kogami says can make one feel there’s a deeper implication in his words.

“Things that cannot be obtained are valuable precisely because they are unattainable.” Ko-chan murmured.

"Is that so? Then what would you like to order?" Kagari chuckled.

"Let me think...I want to have a hamburger!"

"Eh, are you sure? That doesn’t sound like a challenge."

"You don't understand, Kagari," Kogami shook his head helplessly, "A real hamburger is not a simple dish. Perfectly toasted buns, the crunch of fresh lettuce, refreshingly sweet and sour tomato slices, topped with slightly charred fragrant onions; the 100% beef hamburger grilled on the iron skillet, with salt and pepper to bring out the full flavour of the meat and ah, cheese is not bad either, rich cheddar cheese is the best. It’s utterly satisfying to wrap all into a burger, hold it with both hands and eat it in big bites".

A slightly wicked smile appeared on Kogami’s face. As Kagari listened to him, his stomach began to growl.

"Hamburgers are delicious because they have layers of flavour. So, can you make it for me?"

Tsk~ Just do it, don’t be afraid.

Kagari quickened his pace and headed for the kitchen.

Ko-chan was the only person who came to his “restaurant” that morning. Kagari started with the hamburger meat and grilled it to medium.

My interest in the novels chiefly lies in more PP world building and having more input from the OG cast clears my hue.

And since I’m always looking forward to know more about Kogami’s thoughts, this excerpt was heartwarming. We don’t get much info about Tomoyo-san, Kogami’s mom, so knowing that he recalls that specific time with her is endearing.

Kagari is also a special character for me, I don’t think I could ever get over his death in S1. I frankly felt that his death was pointless, he should have continued on.

Also Kogami’s love for hamburgers? 👀 Maybe it’s just me or does it sound suggestive?

I hope you all enjoyed this little excerpt and I wish you a Happy Halloween 🎃

#psycho pass #kagari shuusei #kogami shinya #S1 prequel #psycho pass novels #psycho pass translations #restaurant de campagne #psycho pass asylum #🏷 psycho pass resources #smoking asters

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604to647 · 8 months ago

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Mi Galleta (Part 2 - White Chocolate Macadamia)

7.5K / Modern AU Grumpy Bouncer!Pero Tovar x Sunshine-Rich Girl!reader

Summary: Pero helps you out with a sticky situation at the restaurant and you get to know him better.

Warnings: 18+ Content (MDNI please), very minor angst, unwanted physical touching (not from Pero), petnames (Cookie, baby, princesa, etc.), kissing, oral (f receiving), unprotected PiV (discussed), cum eating, reader can wear Pero's jacket and it's long on her, Biker!Pero comes with his own warning.

A/N: I don't know anything about bikes! (Also does anyone have any non-dark biker romance book recs?) Series Masterlist

Pero doesn’t call. Or text. Not that night. Or over the weekend. By the time the work week rolls around, you make a vow to yourself that you won’t go to visit him during the day unless he does, and consequently you don’t go at all.

Feeling a little hurt, you wonder if maybe you made a bit too much out of what you thought was mutual flirtation. It was his job, after all, to make it hard to gain access to the restaurant; perhaps he thought that your time together and all your efforts with the cookies and lunches were just a means to an end, and that once you were successful, desire on either of your parts to interact should cease. That thought makes you even sadder; even though you were trying to find a way upstairs, your daily meet ups with Pero had become more - you had liked him. He was gruff for sure, but you had enjoyed getting to know him and the discovery that he seemed to be softer than he appeared. You had thought he enjoyed getting to know you as well.

“I’m sorry he didn’t call, babe,” Dorothy laments, giving you a big hug.

“It’s okay,” you pout, crushed, “…maybe I read too much into it.”

“You’re always so sweet, giving people the benefit of the doubt,” says Eloise, “He really ought to have messaged.”

“Do you think… you would be up for going to Lin? To eat and drink, I mean,” Dorothy asks, sheepishly.

“Dorothy!!” exclaims Eloise, “We agreed not to-”

“Not to what?” you ask, curious.

The two women look at each other; Eloise looking exasperated and Dorothy trying to look innocent. “Okay, out with it,” you grin.

“So… you know how my friends from college are coming in from out of town this weekend? I thought… it might be nice to take them to Lin! It’s this super hot restaurant, still so exclusive, and the food was soooo good last week! We all loved it! And they have that extended cocktails list we said we wanted to try, remember? I feel like it would be such a perfect place to take them!” Dorothy finishes in a hurry.

“You’re right,” you say softly. You would have given Pero a similar rave review if you had had a chance, “They would love it. You should totally take them there.”

“The thing is…” Dorothy chews her lower lip, which is generally a sign that she knows she’s about to ask something completely unreasonable, “… we still don’t know how to get it. Just because we got in once, does that mean we automatically get in again? Regardless… our chances of getting in or even just finding out how to are probably better if… you’re there?”

Eloise shoots Dorothy a death glare.

“…but if you rather not see the bouncer guy… it’s totally okay,” Dorothy adds on quickly.

You sigh, but it’s not one of exasperation but of indulgence. You know if you refuse, the girls would truly let it go, never holding it against you. But… it’s also such a simple thing for you to do, you can’t really find it within yourself not to acquiesce. You’ve always been this way: not a people pleaser per say (it’s not in your nature to do anything that truly makes you uncomfortable or against your character), but genuinely happy to extend yourself for others. If you were to really analyze things, it’s probably that deep down you feel that with the advantages you’ve been afforded, your true grievances in life are little to none; the little things that may be troublesome to you are nothing compared to life’s real misfortunes that you’ve been lucky enough to have avoided. Why not help if you can, your grateful heart always asks.

And, it’s not like you have to see Pero for more than a minute or two.

“Ok, we can go,” you smile. The way Dorothy’s face breaks into an expression of pure joy confirms for you that you’re doing a good thing. Eloise is a little more cautious; she triple-checks with you later that you’re sure, and you reassure her that you really, truly are.

Pero recognizes Dorothy right away when she strides into the building lobby. She’s heading up a good-sized group, maybe seven or eight people, and he’s hoping that you’re among the crowd. As the rest of the party starts to file into the elevator bank, his heart leaps when he sees you bringing up the rear.

You make brief eye contact with Pero as you pass his desk; the look in your eyes unreadable, but he thinks they’re missing a brightness he’s used to. Pero wants to talk to you, ask you how you’ve been. Tell you it’s only been a week but he’s missed you. Apologize for not calling. But then he sees Paul’s hand on the small of your back, guiding you after the group. As he follows, he can’t take his eyes off the sway of your hips and the way this guy is touching you with such familiarity. Who is this guy, anyways? Is he your date? Your boyfriend?

Seething, he reaches in the elevator to swipe the fob and press the button to the restaurant floor, keeping eye contact with you as he wordlessly steps back out into the hall. You can’t look away from Pero either; you’re not sure if this is the scowl he normally wears to maintain his bouncer authority or if he’s genuinely displeased.

“Man, I’d love a mindless, easy job. Thanks, pal,” chirps Paul.

You nearly snap your neck turning your head so quickly, unbelieving of Dorothy’s old classmate’s rudeness. It seems that everyone but Paul takes notice of your horrified expression; you turn to face Pero again, hopefully conveying an apologetic look as the elevator doors close.

---

Pero decides he’s done for the evening. He calls in someone to cover the rest of his shift and goes upstairs to clock out. He saw via the computer that you and your friends have been seated in a private room, and he’s sure that you’re in for a fun night of cocktails and good food, maybe even some dancing – he’s not in the mood to see you come downstairs after a night a reverie with that smarmy guy hanging all over you. Who the hell was that asshole?

Getting his backpack, Pero exchanges his suit jacket for a motorcycle jacket before going by the kitchens to say goodnight to the kitchen and wait staff. That’s when he spots you. You’ve tucked yourself against the wall at the very end of the kitchen serving window where the overhang of the counter creates a little nook you’re sinking into. Pero watches you play on your phone, periodically looking up and scanning the hallway that leads back to the dining room, and that’s when he realizes you’re hiding here. He can’t think of anything down this way for restaurant goers: there are no patron washrooms, and you don’t appear to be in need of any assistance – there are plenty of staff coming and going but you haven’t made any movement to flag anyone down for help.

Pero takes a moment to admire how beautiful you look tonight; maybe even prettier than he remembers. Despite not knowing where the two of you stand, he doesn’t think he can pass up this opportunity to speak to you; and although he’s finding your somewhat squirrely behaviour to be adorable, he tells himself that it’s his gentlemanly duty to make sure you’re okay. Never mind that the dress you’re wearing is doing wonders for your curves, and absolutely nothing for his self control.

“How come you’re hiding by the kitchen?”

Surprised by Pero’s sudden appearance, you answer a little bit haughtier than you intend, “I’m not hiding!”

“You are!” He can’t help but be playful with you, “Why else would you be tucked away down this-” Pero cuts himself off; he’s just noticed that you’re fidgeting with the hemline of your dress, and not just tugging it down, but wrapping your fingers around a large piece of torn fabric, “How did your dress get ripped?”

You look up at him, eyes wide; you didn't realize it was that noticeable.

“Who did that, Cookie?” Pero’s voice is tight, barely masking his anger, but his eyes are soft, full of concern, “Are you okay?”

Suddenly you don’t care that he didn’t call - Pero’s here now and he looks like he’s about to kill someone for you; maybe that’s why you drop the hem of your dress and reach for him. When your hand connects with his chest, it feels so solid and comforting; your body automatically follows, wrapping your arms around his waist and laying your head against his chest. Though caught off guard by your actions, Pero instinctively takes you into his arms, pulling you in close; he brings his lips to your hair and rubs your back soothingly.

“What happened, Cookie?” he asks again when you pull away to look at him with your beautiful, shining eyes, “Who do I have to hurt?”

“Don’t hurt anyone, please. It’s not worth it,” you lay your head back on Pero’s chest.

“Will you tell me what happened?”

You nod, but you seem tired.

“There’s a little terrace where some of us go to take breaks, you want to talk there?” Pero offers. A quiet spot sounds lovely to you.

Pero keeps his arms encircled protectively around you as he guides you past the kitchens, through what looks like the staff locker room and lounge and onto an adjoining terrace, “No one will bother you here, Cookie. I promise.” You sigh comfortably as you take a seat on the patio seating; Pero takes the suit jacket he was wearing earlier out from his backpack and drapes it over your shoulders.

You smile at him gratefully, his presence alone relaxing you. Pero waits for you to tell him what happened; he doesn’t press or push, just sits across from you and holds your small hands in his.

Taking in a deep breath of fresh air, you feel finally comfortable enough to fill Pero in, “The group I’m with tonight, most of them are Dorothy’s friends from college. They’re fun and nice enough, but there’s this one guy that’s always been a bit handsy.”

Pero’s eyes darken as you continue, “Dorothy, Eloise and I call it ‘octopus hands’. Just always touching and trying to grab. Suckers for hands practically. He’s been like this every time we get together with that group, which thankfully is not very often. Anyways, I had had enough of having to dodge him, so I pushed him away… he grabbed onto my dress and it ripped. It was an accident.” You shrug, as if describing the actions of a petulant child.

“And you were hiding from him because you think he might try something? Get aggressive?” If he were an animal, you would definitely describe Pero’s hackles as being up.

You chuckle, “No, I told you I’m not hiding! I’m avoiding the room. It’s totally different.”

“Is that so?” smiles Pero.

“I’m trying to avoid the room because I don’t want to try to act like I’m not pissed. Pretend like things are cool, because that feels annoying to do and I probably won’t be able to do a very good job at it if I’m being honest. And then there would be a scene,” you say, making a face.

“You don’t think Dorothy will take your side?”

You wave off this concern, “Oh no, I’m not worried about that. She’s got my back. And I’ll definitely tell her about it, but I don’t think it’s the right time right now: in front of other people that are friends with Paul, and where everyone has been drinking. I’d rather not put myself or Dorothy in that position.”

Pero admires the care you’re showing for your friends; if you appeared more upset or avoidant of what had happened, he might gently push you to ignore their feelings and give yourself more consideration. As it is, you seem fairly in control of your feelings and the situation, so he doesn’t push.

“So, I was just waiting by the kitchens and thought I would go back in with our food when it was ready. That way I would have something to focus on… instead of punching him in the face,” you finish.

“I’d like to have seen that,” grins Pero, “Is this the same guy who was touching you in the elevator? The one who wanted an ‘easy job’?”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry about that, Pero. That was so unbelievably offensive, I was ready to sock him then. Yeah, that’s Paul. I’m sorry,” you look pained at the memory of Paul’s rudeness.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, Cookie. Glad to know that’s not the kind of guy you go for.”

“Nope,” you scrunch you nose up good-naturedly, “I only go for guys who take my number but don’t ever text or call.”

“Oh princesa, I’m so sorry. I wanted to text, I really tried… I can’t find your number in my phone,” Pero looks down, embarrassed.

“What do you mean?”

Pero unlocks his phone and holds it out opened to the Contacts app, “I looked under your name, then I tried ‘Cookie’, then I just started looking for different cookies: Chocolate Chip, Sugar, Ginger Molasses… I couldn’t find you.”

You take the phone from him and look at him dubiously but ultimately decide that he’s being sincere, “I put it under the cookie emoji.”

“The emoji? Where is it?” Pero really couldn’t look more confused.

Scrolling to the bottom of his contacts list, you show him it’s under ‘#’ and you when you pull it up, the top of the screen displays the silly selfie you took as the contact photo.

“Oh, Cookie… I feel so dumb. I’m sorry,” Pero looks so much like a dog that’s been scolded that you soften and forgive him immediately. “I should have just texted you right away when you gave it to me,” he types out a quick message and sends it with a whoosh.

When the notification comes in, you look down at your phone: I’m sorry. Forgive me, Cookie? :(

You laugh so hard. Who would have thought that the scary bouncer with the menacing scar over his eye could be so adorable. And sweet. And protective. And hot. Your body moves with a mind of its own; to answer his question, you close the space between the two of you and kiss him.

Pero doesn’t know how it’s possible, but your lips are sweeter than your cookies. He kisses you back softly at first, a gentle introduction of your mouths as he becomes increasingly familiar with the plush feel of your lips, the curve of your soft smile. When your mouth relaxes into a sigh, followed by an oh, he presses deeper, tongue seeking an invitation; as you open up for him, he pulls you closer and lets his tongue do the talking, saying all the words that he wasn’t able to this past week. Your hands wrap around his neck and thread through Pero’s hair as you let out a soft hum of contentment; Pero smiles at the sound and strokes your tongue with his a few more times before pulling off your lips, chasing after them with a couple of light pecks. Opening your eyes, you answer with a flutter of soft kisses to the corner of his upturned mouth before snuggling in under his jaw, “You’re forgiven.”

“Do you want to get out of here, princesa?”

You begin to nod but then stop yourself, “Oh, I would love to, Pero, but… I already ordered and I wouldn’t want that food to go to waste. Also, do you think I could just pay for it separate so I don’t stick the others with the bill? Still… it would be a waste. I hate food waste. Plus, I can’t just ghost Dorothy and Eloise… I have to at least say good bye…”

“What did you order?” Pero asks, simply.

“The Chilean sea bass. Oooh noooo… just thinking about it is making my mouth water. Ok, I’ll admit it, I don’t want to leave because I want to eat it so badly,” you joke.

“Will you let me take care of it, Cookie?” You nod even though you don’t know what he means to do.

“I’ll be 5-10 minutes, you can stay out here or in the lounge if you want. No need to hide by the kitchen.”

“I wasn’t hiding,” you smile as Pero bends down to kiss you lightly.

“Fine, you can avoid in here if you want. I’ll be back soon, hermosa,” and he leaves before you can ask about this new nickname that he’s added to the ever-growing roster.

When Pero is gone, you check your phone and see a few messages from the girls:

Where did you go?

Are you okay?

Was Paul being weird?

You type back a quick response: I’m fine! Yes, he was being a weirdo! But Pero found me, so…

A string of exclamation points and celebratory gif responses come in in quick succession. You’re giggling and typing out responses as fast as you can when Pero returns with a heavy paper bag in his hand, “It’s all taken care of, princesa.”

You peek in the bag while Pero puts on his backpack, “I didn’t order all that.”

“I have to eat too, you know,” Pero pretends to scowl at you before kissing you quickly, “plus there’s a few appies and a dessert thrown in there, too.”

“Can… I pay?” It looks like a full feast.

“Don’t worry about it, Cookie. Staff perk.”

Not sure you believe him, you look at Pero skeptically, but he cups your face with his hands and strokes your cheek gently before giving you a deep kiss that leaves you dizzy, so you decide to just go with it.

“Ready to go say goodbye to your friends?” Nodding, you take Pero’s outstretched hand; he gives your hand a reassuring squeeze before leading you back to the dining room your friends are in.

When you walk through the door, Pero drops your hand in favour of curling his palm around your waist protectively and walking a step behind you like a watchful guard dog. You can only imagine the glower on his face as the room quiets and everyone stares at you; you would roll your eyes and laugh if not for the fact that you see Paul get up from his seat, only to sit down immediately with one glare from Pero.

“I’m going to go, babes,” you say apologetically when Dorothy and Eloise come to give you hugs. They both give you big smiles and so many kisses, never begrudging you for leaving – their only request that you promise to text when you make it home. Blowing them kisses and waving to everyone, even Paul, you breeze out of the room tucked under Pero’s arm with his lips pressed to your hair.

In the elevator on the way down, Pero helps you button up his jacket that you still have draped over your shoulders before pulling you in by his collar for another searing kiss that lasts the entire way to the ground floor; still light headed from his affection, it takes you a moment to register that he’s walking you towards to a sports bike parked just outside the doors. Pero is pulling a black bike helmet out of his backpack when you stutter, “We’re going on that?”

“You ever been on a bike before, Cookie?” Pero smirks.

You shake your head, shyly, “Just scooters and stuff… never… a crotch rocket.”

Pero laughs uproariously, “I’ll take good care of you, I promise.” And you believe him.

Taking a walk around the bike, you can’t help but admire its sleek design as you run your fingers over the letters on the front frame. Even though the engine is off, you can feel the bike’s power emanating off the metal; you don’t know anything about bikes, but you can appreciate a well-designed machine when you see one. You can tell that a lot of care and time has been poured into this vehicle - loving upkeep and carefully selected mods (even though you have no idea what those would be); this motorcycle is clearly a labour of love and you’re starting to feel excited about getting to take a ride on it. Pero watches you as you take in his bike, appreciating the way your gentle fingers skim over the frame, the handlebars, and then the seat of his Ducati; he spies the glint in your eyes go from trepidation, to awe, to excitement and suddenly he can’t wait to take you out on the open road.

“How do I get on?”

Pero points to the little foot peg over the back wheel and holds out his arm to help you up. You’re incredibly grateful for the extra coverage from the length of Pero’s jacket as you grab a hold of Pero’s steady forearm, hike up your left leg to step on the foot peg and swing yourself over the backseat as you would a horse. Planting your foot firmly on the peg on the other side of the bike, you immediately close your legs; you’re almost thankful for the rip in your dress since it provides you with a little more give to spread you legs over the smooth back seat slant without flashing everyone on the street. As it is, your dress is hiked up near the top of your thighs and you’re depending on the flaps of Pero’s jacket for some semblance of modesty. Pero is kneeling next to the bike putting the food in his backpack when he sees you drop your foot from the peg and let your bare leg dangle down, lightly swinging it without your heels ever touching the ground. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything sexier in his whole life. You’re using both your hands to hold your dress to the seat, leaning forward following the natural decline of the seat and smiling broadly at him, “Where are we going?”

Straightening up, Pero grins, “I can take you anywhere you like, princesa. If you want to go home and have dinner by yourself, I’ll take you. But if you’re up for it, we can go to a nice terrace with a view and have ourselves a little picnic?”

You nod at that option and bite your lip a little at how cute Pero looks as he puts on his backpack so it sits on his front like a baby carrier. Then he does something a little unexpected: he reaches out with his helmet in both hands and holds it over your head, “Cookie, I only have one helmet, so this will have to do, okay?” When you nod, Pero slowly lowers the helmet over your head then pops open the visor so you can still see him as he adjusts the strap under your chin. It’s not bad but there’s definitely a little room for your head to wobble around; the inside of the helmet smells vaguely like Pero’s cologne and you feel a warmth spread through you as breath his scent in – when Pero leans back to inspect his handiwork, you give a little giggle and wobble you head around, “I’m a bobblehead.”

Pero laughs and reaches in through the visor opening to pinch your nose, “Ok, when we’re riding, keep your legs on the pegs and hold on to me tight, okay? If anything’s wrong, tap my arm, and if you want me to slow down, tap my leg. Ready?”

You give him a big smile that you’re not sure he can see and an enthusiastic thumbs up; before Pero flips down the helmet visor, he definitely sees your bright eyes shining with excitement. Even though he knows you’re perfectly capable, he makes a show of helping raise your leg up and placing your foot back on the foot peg. One of his strong hands holds onto your ankle while the other gently runs up your calf and brushes your knee, sending a shiver down your spine. When Pero repeats the action with your other leg, you let him have complete control to handle and position you any way he wants and he feels his crotch start with how good it feels to have you soft and pliant in his hands. Once satisfied with your positioning, Pero skates his hand up your thigh, skirting your raised hemline, and when he gives you a light squeeze to let you know he’s done, you inhale sharply and clench down on nothing.

After Pero swings his leg over the frame of the bike and puts on his gloves, he waits for you to wrap your arms securely around his middle before starting the ignition. As the bike roars to life, you give a little squeal of delight that Pero can hear even through the helmet and he smiles to himself. Revving the engine a few times for effect, he takes off carefully but still feels you grip him tighter as you’re jerked back slightly; he can’t say he’s sorry. Picking up speed as he weaves through the streets, he feels you rest your helmet on his upper back and his chest swells at how easily you’re taking to riding.

After about 15 minutes, Pero pulls up to another office building and cuts the engine. Helping you take off the helmet, he finds you giddy with a big smile on your face; as you smooth down your hair, you exclaim, “That was so much fun!!” The ride had been thrilling; you know Pero wasn’t going that fast for your sake, but you found the rush of the wind blowing past you and the freedom and danger of being so open on the road to be exhilarating all on its own. The hum of the engine had been an unexpected comfort and the vibrations of motor reverberating through you had kept you alert and excited throughout your short journey. Not to mention that being so close to Pero and his warmth, sinking in to the feeling of security he provides, has you turned on and tingling. Finding your enthusiasm infectious, Pero helps you off the bike and leads you up to the building to which he gains access with a swipe of a fob he produces from his jacket pocket.

“You have one of those fobs for every building in the city?” you tease.

Pero puts his finger to his lips, “Restaurant industry secret, shhhhh,” he says with a twinkle in his eye.

A short elevator ride later, Pero brings you to an empty terrace with a beautiful view of the city lights; you gaze around in awe as he starts laying out the food.

It’s a wonderfully romantic dinner. The conversation flows easily, and you learn a little more about your grouchy bouncer. You’re only initially surprised to learn that William, the restaurant manager and sometimes host, is Pero’s best friend, and that the two of them have worked together for years at various different restaurants. Remembering William’s easy smile and friendly demeanor from when he sat your party both of the times you’ve dined at Lin, you giggle at the obvious dichotomy between the two friends. If only potential restaurant patrons knew that big golden retriever energy awaited them at the end of the elevator ride should they make it past the scary Cerebus downstairs. When Pero asks you what you’re laughing at, you simply ask him if he and William have always worked their current roles; apparently not - they both started out as bus boys and worked their way through the kitchen, though Pero’s never had the inclination to work front of house the way William has. “You don’t say,” you jest, to which Pero gives you his most fearsome glare. You’re not the least bit intimidated, especially when he follows up with the gentlest forehead kiss.

Between bites of the mouthwatering sea bass, you’re happy to discover that in addition to a common love of food, you and Pero have also both travelled extensively; to your mutual delight, you realize that somehow, you’ve eaten at some of the same restaurants in Europe and Asia. When you both claim to know the best udon shop in Toyko, you agree to say the name at the same time - doubling over in laughter when you both name the same hole-in-the-wall in Shinjuku. Throughout the easy flowing conversation, Pero finds ways to stay close and you welcome his every touch: a caress of your hair near the ear, a stroke of your knee under the table, a kiss to your hand. With the sun now fully set and the chilly evening air giving you goosebumps, Pero pulls you close to his side - tucking your bare legs in between his to keep you warm as you finish dessert. Pero looks into your eyes with longing as you both savour the last bites of the rich lychee flavoured flan. When he helps wipe away an errant sugar smudge near the corner of your mouth with his thumb, he brings his face so close to yours that you’re caught short of breath. He really is so handsome, you think before his mouth descends on yours and you get lost in the way he licks and softly groans into you. Your tongue chases his as you open for him, and you gasp when Pero, palm under your ass, pulls you into his lap fully one handedly.

Wrapping you arms around Pero’s neck to run your hands through his hair, you moan as his hands roam your back, pulling you closer against him still. The kissing is downright urgent: a mirage of open mouths, panting, devouring. Needing air, and a break if you’re honest with how close you are to just sinking down on him on this terrace, you bite down on Pero’s lower lip and nibble a little before murmuring, “Pero, please take me home.”

Pero’s eyes never leave you the entire time the two of you pack away the containers and make your way back to his bike, his look dark and wanting. If he takes his time helping you on the bike, letting his hands trail up and down your legs, eyes lingering on yours before he flips down the visor, who can blame him. If you press yourself tight against his back while he weaves through the streets, inching your hands lower and lower on his torso, seeking out his upper thigh for purchase when he accelerates, who can blame you.

By the time Pero parks in front of your building, the thrill of the ride and the hum of the bike between your legs has only amplified your want; you’re positively dripping for him. You can barely keep your hands to yourself on the elevator ride up and Pero is on top of you the moment your front door closes. Your hands fly to take off his jacket, his shirt, reaching down to frantically unbutton his pants without shame; stopped only when he insists on undressing you first, growling, “Need to take this dress off, hermosa. Don’t want you wearing anything another man has touched for a minute longer.”

You step right in Pero’s space, locking desperate eyes with him as he reaches behind you to undo your zipper; he drags it down slower than necessary, drawing out the process. When you whine at how long it’s taking, Pero chuckles, “Patience, princesa,” before pulling the zipper down the rest of the way and letting the fabric slip over your shoulders and pool around your feet.

“Holy shit, Cookie,” Pero breathes as he takes in your matching black lace lingerie set, “I think my heart just stopped.” Suddenly shy under his gaze, you turn away to lead him to the bedroom, but he stops you and pulls you back so suddenly you crash into his chest. Holding you flushed against him by a strong hand on the back of your neck, Pero uses his free hand to tip your chin up to look at him, murmuring, “You’re so beautiful,” before kissing you like his life depends on it. His lips crush to yours, tongue mapping every slope and dip of your mouth, his one hand now gently gripping your neck under your jaw - caging you within his hands so that you’re left to the mercy of his desire. One rough palm moves down your body to explore all your soft curves, lightly groping and claiming all the spots that make you moan into his mouth. Pero walks you slowly to the couch in the middle of your living room so gradually you don’t even notice until the back of your legs hit the cushions. He releases you at this same moment so that the soft impact has you toppling back, sat on the couch with a light bounce; you can only watch with lust hooded eyes as Pero lowers himself down to the floor onto his knees in front of you.

“Pero,” you whisper, needy.

“I’ve got you, princesa,” breath hot, Pero kisses down your neck, hands holding your legs open so he can slot his wide frame between, getting as close to your body as possible.

“Ohhhh, god, Pero… baby,” you whimper as his mouth worships your neck, nipping at your décolletage, then licking a wet stripe down to the valley between your breasts. When his hands abandon their grip on your thighs to trail up, cupping your breasts, you can’t help but buck into his abdomen, seeking more of him. Face buried in your chest, Pero chuckles, “Such an eager, pretty girl. Tell me what you need, Cookie.”

Pulling down the cups of your lace bra so that your tits spill out, Pero gropes you roughly before his fingers zero in your nipples, alternating rolling, pinching and tugging on your peaks in an excruciating delicious pattern. Smiling devilishly at you, “I’m waiting, princesa.”

“Fuc- oh, Pero, please. Please. Need your mouth, please,” you plead, desperation lacing every word.

Without warning, Pero dips his head to take a breast in his mouth, and you gasp in pleasure, hands flying to bury themselves in his hair to grip his soft curls as his nibbles and swirls your hardened nipple. Back arching off the back of the couch, you try to muffle you moans as Pero’s efforts with his mouth and hands electrify you to your core, heat pooling in your underwear.

“Don’t do that, hermosa. Want to hear you, want to hear what I do to you,” Pero comes off your breast with an obscenely wet smack of his lips before switching over to your neglected breast, his hand taking over for where his mouth left off.

“OH! Pero, feels so good! Right there, oh, ow! Oh god, yessss,” the sting of Pero’s attention on your peaks only adding to your ecstasy. Pero uses your lifted back to his advantage, his free hand now able to claw down your spine, grabbing and massaging your ass. Having his hands so close to your pussy is sending you out of your mind; Pero’s hands and mouth seem to be everywhere at once and you don’t know what to focus on. It’s almost too much and you gently push him away so you can catch your breath; the dopey, shit-eating grin he gives you tells you that he knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

He does know, and Pero’s damn proud of it. He’s never seen anything sexier in his life than you splayed out in front of him with eyes glassy from near over stimulation, tits pulled out of your bra and lightly bouncing as you pant, all while you pussy tries to grind down onto him for some friction. He’s rock hard and he hasn’t even tasted you yet.

Pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, swollen from where you bit them to keep yourself from crying out, Pero moves back slightly so he can admire you some more. He can’t believe he’s here right now, that he gets to be the one that makes you feel this good; another smaller, possessive part of him triumphs that Paul never stood a chance - that you were always going to be his tonight. And now he’s about to show you he’s worthy.

When you look back down at Pero with a lazy grin, breathing more even, Pero presses forward, “I’m going to taste you now, okay Cookie?” Your soft ‘yes, please’, is all Pero needs to hear before he dives forward towards your dripping core. Pressing hungry kisses over your panties, Pero growls when he feels the soaked through fabric on his tongue, “So fucking wet, princesa. Is this all for me?” All you can do is moan in assent as Pero continues to make out with your pussy. His mouth never leaving you, Pero tugs off your underwear; tossing the wet scrap of lace aside to reveal your glistening cunt. Running his fingers through your folds to spread your arousal up and over your clit, he takes a moment to drink in your near pornographic sounds before he lowers his mouth and positively feasts.

You’re entire being feels like it’s been lit up. Pero’s tongue presses against your seam, dipping in and out, teasing you with broad strokes and indulgent swirls. His nose nudges at your clit over and over, as his entire head moves up and down, focused only on bringing you pleasure. You think he’s giving you a break to collect yourself when he butterfly kisses up to your now throbbing clit, but reprieve is the furthest thing from Pero’s mind. Just as you’re crying out his name in a heavenly melody, he breaches your tight hole with two of his thick fingers and seals your clit in between his lips and sucks. You squirm, trying to get away from the sudden onslaught, but Pero lays his other arm across your stomach to hold you down so that all you can do is take, take, take.

“I-I-. I’m so close, Pero. Ohhhh nghhhh, baby, ohhh, so c-close,” you’re simpering, eyes closed and head thrown back, desperate for more while simultaneously sure you can’t handle it.

“Open your eyes, princesa. Eyes on me while I eat your perfect pussy,” Pero commands, nuzzling your aching clit with the tip of his nose to get your attention. When you look down, you lock eyes with Pero as his takes your nub between his lips again, lightly flicking his tongue while his curls bouncing against his forehead from the force with which his fingers drive into you. When you grab onto his hair and pull him deeper into you, he hums his approval and the vibration does you in, you step off the cliff and let go as your orgasm washes over you, wave after wave. Pero continues to finger fuck you through your high while rising on one knee to palm at your neglected tits and kiss you long and tender.

“Oh, Pero. Ohhh, that was- oh god,” you can barely string together your words; you’re completely wrung out and spent. You’re now Pero’s pliable fuck doll, good and ready for his cock and not much else. He lifts your legs and maneuvers you into a laying position on the couch and it’s all you can do to try and keep your eyes open while you wait for him undo his pants and free his hard cock. He’s magnificent: long with an impressive girth, a thick perfect vein runs along the underside of his length, ending at a bulbous weeping head; you want to feel the heft of him on your tongue. Your hunger must show in your eyes and the way your plush lips instinctively part because Pero chuckles, “Another time, Cookie. Right now, I’m going crazy every second I’m not in this tight cunt.” He looks around the room looking for his backpack to get a condom, when, as if you’re reading his mind, you offer dreamily, “Pero, I’m clean. If you want…”

His dick jumping at your words, Pero want you to be certain, “I’m clean too, hermosa. Are you sure?”

“Want to feel you, baby,” your eyes dark with lust, “Fuck me bare, Pero.”

How’s he supposed to last when you have a mouth like that? “Fuck, princesa,” he breathes as he runs his tip through your dripping folds, adding to the sheen of leftover slick he transferred from his fingers; Pero fists his cock and coats it in your release to ready himself for your tight hole. Hovering over you, he lines himself up to your entrance and captures your mouth in a passionate kiss as he slowly pushes in. Every quick inhale of air you take to replace what he pushes out of your lungs is music to Pero’s ears. Your tight walls almost choke him as he feels you spread your legs further, one leg now dangling off the edge of the couch in order to accommodate his size. Pero is remiss to leave your lips, but he’s unable to resist the temptation to lean back and watch your face as you take his full length. You hold his gaze amid your lust-filled haze, a blissed-out smile spreads across your beautiful face that cracks only when you lips form a soft ‘oh’ before relaxing again; Pero is hypnotized by this pattern repeating itself over and over as he pushes in deeper into your cunt. When he finally bottoms out, you let out a breathy ‘Fuck’ before pulling him in for a slow and patient, soul affirming kiss.

Full. You feel so full. “Taking me so well, princesa. God you feel so perfect around my cock,” purrs Pero, peppering your face and neck with soft, soothing kisses; waiting for your go ahead to move. When you give it, he starts slow; dragging his cock nearly all the way out, before pushing back in with the same tempered control – you reward him with a call of his name and praise on how good it feels to be split open. Over and over, he thrusts into you with the restraint of saint until he feels your arousal start to drown his cock, and only then does he pick up the pace; you wrap your legs around his back, heels digging into his back to press him deeper, encouraging him to fuck you harder until he’s driving his cock into your cunt with a force that punches the air out of your lungs every time. His grunts combined with his filthy words affirming how you were made for him, how he wants to stay buried in you, how you’re creaming so pretty around him, push you closer and closer to your edge again.

Snaking his hand between your bodies to toy with your sensitive clit, Pero feels you clenching down, “Come for me, Cookie. You look so perfect when you come, need to see you come on my cock.” You want to please him so. You’ll give him everything he asks for, so long as he never stops looking at you the way he is right now: wrecked, desperate, devoted. Doubling down on his attention to your pulsating bud, Pero draws perfect circles with his thumbs as he continues to rut into you with abandon, chasing both of your releases. This time, when you come, your back lifts off the couch and Pero catches you, pulling you close as you shout out his name over and over into his shoulder, biting down and sucking into his skin so to muffle the string of obscenities rolling off your tongue.

The sting of pain from your teeth brings Pero to his precipice, and he manages to choke out, “Where do you want me, princesa,” before laying you down gently and pulling out. Still lightheaded and cock drunk, you gaze through your lashes at Pero and almost shy, request, “Paint my tits please, Pero.”

Fisting himself furiously, the timidness of your tone in contrast to the lewdness of your words sends a tightness through Pero’s whole body right before he jerks and splashes ropes of cum all over your pretty breasts.

When he’s done, he steps off from over you and kneels by your head, kissing you appreciatively. He reaches to grab a box of tissues but when he offers them to you, you giggle and swipe your fingers through his milky spend and pop your fingers in your mouth, sucking them clean. Pero feels his softening dick make a valiant attempt to jump back to life as he watches you clean every last drop of his cum from your chest, licking your fingers and swallowing with a hum. After he helps you up to your feet, you cup Pero’s face in your hands, stroking his scruff with your thumbs, and he melts under your tender affections. “Stay over?” you look up, doe eyed.

Grabbing you at your waist and sweetly kissing you as he walks you backwards toward the bedroom, Pero grins wickedly, “Of course, Cookie. I’m not done with you yet.”

#pero tovar #pero tovar fanfiction #pero tovar fic #pero tovar x reader #pero tovar x you #pero tovar x f!reader #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #modern!pero tovar #modern au #no y/n

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pancakeke · 5 months ago

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I can't believe someone would go to a Mexican restaurant and bitch about them using Spanish. good on you for reporting them jfc

I know right its fucked!! Like that's who makes the food you dumb dick how are you giving racism a higher priority than a delicious meal.

Context for anyone who didn't read that essay of tags but I saw a bunch of 1 star reviews left for restaurants that just said "menu was in spanish not english". Also there were plenty that said "no one here speaks english" which wasn't even true!! racist assholes just feel so threatened when hear any amount of spanish.

I highly encourage people to look up reviews for local restaurants (on google at least) and check for dickheads leaving bad reviews on places where staff commonly speak anything other than english. I was only looking for ice cream in one smallish area and reported easily a dozen racist reviews across three or four restaurants.

I think businesses can claim the pages that google generates automatically, and then those businesses can moderate the content on their page. Cause I've seen places where a "business owner" responds to reviews. But most of these pages seem to be unclaimed, and if the owner isn't watching then a bunch of dickhead reviews can pile up.

#ask #anonymous

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wen-kexing-apologist · 1 year ago

Text

On the Subject of Pat 2.0

Hello! It’s your resident 25 year old working their first job out of grad school with no family in the area and a friend group that is comprised mostly of people older than them here to talk about "Pat" Phakphum Tangwatthana another resident 25 year old working his first job out of grad school with no family in the area and a friend group that is comprised mostly of people older than him.

I have seen some confusion or distaste around Pat and Pat’s storyline in the most recent episode, and I understand the criticism around the editing needing to be tighter, but I do just want to talk about my own perceptions of Pat and why I didn’t need any more explicit explanations for his behavior than we already got.

It’s essay time :D

Pat and his emotions in Episode 9:

We start the episode on Pat’s point of view, cutting back to the previous evening and establishing Pat’s level of inebriation

Gif from @pharawee

Everything is ghosting and blurry and it is very clear that Pat was out of his head if not out of his body when he was having fun with Jeng on the dance floor. This is evidence enough as far as I am concerned that Pat had absolutely zero knowledge of Jeng’s dance floor confession. But what he does remember is learning Jeng is queer. Which as we are all aware, rocks his fucking world.

Now, I wrote in my previous timeline that narratively, Pat has never had the time to contemplate the sexuality of his boss. At the very beginning, he spills glass jelly on Jeng’s shoe and meets a kind and very attractive man, and then he just simps over this very Lorge Man for awhile while Jeng is actively trying to manage a crush on an employee because he understands would be a huge HR Violation if he were to try to pursue that thread. But Pat has been flirting hard, in ways that are obvious if you are queer and able to identify them, but less so if you are straight and don’t automatically look at the level of familiarity as flirting. However, we have to look at when, where, and how Pat and Jeng break their professionalism and where they maintain it.

Pat only initiates the break in professionalism when he is drunk and/or out of the office. His criticisms of Jeng he gives in the review? Drunk. His commentary about how when he first met Jeng he was nice and he is having a hard time reconciling that Jeng with micromanaging boss Jeng? Drunk. Hanging all over him and tugging at his shirt? Drunk. Hanging all over him and tugging at his shirt round 2? Drunk.

The rest Jeng initiates. He engineers the dinner in his office, he asks Pat to come over on Sunday to work, he suggests Pat get ready at his apartment, he suggests he and Pat share a hotel room, he asks Pat to accompany him to the furniture store, he calls the video of drunk!Pat cute, he asks Pat to go on the restaurant tour with him.

So, from this we know that Pat is aware enough of the office gossip and when in control of his mental faculties, is able to temper his feelings towards Jeng while at work. And that Jeng has been simping hard from the beginning, and Pat has been reciprocating the energy whenever Jeng starts the interaction.

But we also know that Pat has a difficult time handling his other emotions, especially while at work. Partially because he is young, partially because he is exploited, partially because he is almost certainly spending a lot of his time focusing on a) not having a meltdown and b) not hitting on his boss in front of his coworkers.

Anyway, the timeline of Pat’s immediate emotions around Jeng’s sexuality confession I have previously outlined so just keep that in mind while I continue to ramble about Pat in this episode.

Pat learns Jeng is gay, freaks out about it because Jeng is fully aware of everything Pat has been doing, and Pat is fully aware that Jeng has been intentionally flirting with him this whole time. Spirals about it in his dreams the whole night and wakes up hungover and having an existential crisis about what the fuck comes next for him.

He takes the day off, tries to give himself some space to think, process, reassess, and figure out his next steps. But instead…his Mom is in town, and in his kitchen, cooking him breakfast.

What is she doing here? He doesn’t know, it’s a surprise, and a good surprise because we know he has a good relationship to his parents, and you can tell that from the way he interacts with his mother. But a mother is going to mother, so she’s going to comment on his eating habits, and he’s going to lie about how often he eats instant noodles, and she’s going to check in on his health, having seen him absolutely plastered the previous evening, and she is going to ask about the very kind and handsome man that helped Pat home and made sure he was safe.

And she’s going to say a passing comment about Pat being a burden to his friend.

Which, looking at Pat’s face here, was not really what he wants to be hearing at this particular moment. Not when he is trying to get Jeng out of his head, not when he is trying to create space to figure out what he is feeling about that entire situation, the reality that he could have what he wants, the understanding that Jeng has been wise to Pat’s attraction to him this whole time. Not when he got in to that whole situation with Jeng last night because he was trying to distract himself from being sad about breaking up with Put. His parents live in another country, they have no idea what is going on in his life, his mother sees her son was out with a nice man and so has no reason to suspect something would have been wrong. So she stumbles right in to one of Pat’s sore spots.

“Where did you meet him?” she asks and Pat’s goes:

If anyone needs a live action shocked pikachu face, look no further. He knows he cannot tell her. He knows what it would sound like, what it would seem like, how inappropriate it would appear for him to say “I met him at work” and even more so if he has to say “that is my boss.”

He’s had the realization that Jeng is gay, and therefore that a relationship between Jeng and Pat is possible, and he is now having the realization of just how bad it would appear to literally anyone on the outside. Even now, even before they are dating, when they are just coworkers and friends, his mother knowing that he was out, late at night, that drunk around his boss??? Absolutely not. Pat recognizes that and quickly shifts the focus of the conversation away from Jeng, asking his mother about a doctor’s appointment she is supposed to be getting to.

Another outfit, and another day has passed. Pat is staring at the stuffed tiger that he got on his furniture -date- shopping trip with Jeng. A stuffed animal that he has been using as a replacement for the shark stuffed animal that he had when he was with Put and that Put has used to manipulate Pat into talking to him and into considering re-entering into a relationship with him. This tiger here is serving as both a reminder of Put, the fact that Pat was unable to love Put because of his feelings for Jeng, and as a reminder of Jeng, whose sexuality, level of availability, and messy HR potentiality are all front and center in Pat’s mind. So he hides the tiger away in a drawer where he doesn’t have to look at it, so that he isn’t faced with a constant reminder of the personal crises in his life, because he is young, and his parents are here, and he’s never experienced this particular combination of emotions before, and to talk to his parents about his dilemma he would have to explain this situation to his parents and I don’t think Pat believes he can talk to anyone about it. Because all of his friends besides Ae are friends from work, Jaab is Jeng’s brother, Jen and Jaab are going through it and Jen is quitting, Kanon was on the production team and Kanon is married to Ae so whatever Pat says to Ae may get back to Kanon pretty quickly. Chot is fully incorporated into the office life and is fully aware of what is going on (and in fact may think Pat and Jeng are much further ahead in their relationship than they are) but Pat thinks he’s being sly about his feelings for Jeng, and Chot being directly in the office rather than on an outside production team is not going to be a draw to talking about his feelings for his boss.

Meanwhile, Jeng is approaching the other queer in the office to ask if Chot has seen Pat cause he hasn’t been in the office in a few days and realizes that Pat is taking days off without even

notifying him. Readers, I do not need to show you Chot’s face throughout all of this. Chot is 150% convinced that Jeng and Pat are in the middle of a lover’s quarrel. I need a Chot live reaction to finding out that Pat and Jeng haven’t fucked yet, and a gravestone for Chot when he learns that Pat thought Jeng was straight.

Alright, so, Jeng is in his sad boy hours clearly pining after Pat in the office in front of Chot, but pushes that all back down in order to perform his necessary duties as a boss. Jeng too, is trying to keep control of his emotions, but will end up losing his grip of them and having an utter break down.

But this is not about Jeng, this is about Pat

Pat’s Mom is here, but she’s settled in, and Pat’s off work, so maybe now he has time to try to process some of his emotions?

Nope! Dad appears!

And what? Another surprise! Another parent coming to stay at his house without warning, and for what reason?

…

Oh.

Oh shit.

Pat has completely lost track of the passage of time. Which hey, works for Ae going from 0 to 30 weeks out of nowhere. Why does his Dad come to Thailand around this time every year?

It’s almost Pat’s birthday, and Pat has completely forgotten. This man has been juggling all of his work, a ton of his coworkers assignments, MLM schemes (the only mlm Pat is interested in is…nevermind), the Forge project, The Forge commercial shoot, leading the commercial shoot, his relationship with Put, his breakup with Put, navigating remaining professional in a workspace with his recent ex when emotions are still raw, and his mounting feelings for actually gay actually single hot boss man. On top of that, Pat is living alone, surviving off of ramen noodles, and (iirc) waiting to see if he makes it past the probationary period and is actually going to be allowed to stay on as an employee when that window is over. Jen is an adult, and not one Pat knows very well, Chot has his shit together and is engaged, Ae and Kanon are adults, married, and soon-to-be-parents, and Jaab is his age but is just as much if not more of a hot mess than Pat is. Pat gets convinced to go on that restaurant tour by Ae and their other friend, but those two are straight and therefore will not get what Pat is spiraling about after finding out Jeng is gay. So where can Pat go? Who can he turn to for advice? Who is going to have the time and the understanding and the patience to help him navigate all of these rising pressures?

Well, we get a good indication, of where that is heading because Pat’s dad takes one look at Pat’s utter shock at realizing that he has forgotten his own birthday and states:

Life must be pretty hard lately. His father is in the know, he’s gettin’ wise, gettin’ with it. It’s a great dynamic of Pat pretending to be fine for the sake of his mother, and then having no ability to hide from his father because the initial shock of the realization meant he wasn’t able to mask his emotional state.

He burns his ramen noodles, his father cooks for him. Gives him vegetables. Calls it like it is in Pat’s life even though he doesn’t have the full context.

Pat returns to work, and Chot starts doing his gay fairy godmother deal, vague-posting about what he thinks Pat’s problem is through the lens of his own issues. He knows Pat is young, and Pat is coming out of a relationship, and that Pat does not have a lot of guidance on the whole Being Gay in Thailand thing, despite being pretty comfortable in his sexuality and navigating his relationship with Put pretty maturely, if we’re honest. Chot is reaching out, Chot is extending the hand, Chot is trying to turn the tide of their relationship from just work friends to friends who can rely on one another in their personal life.

Now, Pat has been dissociating for the entire conversation thus far, because realizing he has forgotten his birthday because he’s been so caught up in everything has started his death spiral. When Jeng came out he tripped into it and was gripping at the edge of his remaining sanity by trying to give himself time and space to work through his emotions, but the arrival of his father and the understanding that he has not been thinking about himself for however long is what starts this final (and ultimately unsuccessful) attempt at managing his emotional state.

But Chot’s admission that being gay is hard for Krit, snaps Pat out of it a little bit, and we get Pat’s “At least he’s straightforward with showing you that he loves you” and now…Pat has not been paying a whole lot of attention to what Chot was saying, so this is either Pat being very good at processing information while dissociating, and/or Pat picking up on the part of the story that is most relevant to him and attaching his own frustrations with his current situation to it.

“At least he is straightforward with showing you that he loves you”

Okay, so let’s explore who this is about. That’s right. It’s about literally every possible romantic pursuit of his in the last few weeks/months. Put, MLM guy, and Jeng.

On the Put end of things, Put left Pat two years prior, valuing his job over his relationship with Pat while simultaneously struggling with his own queerness. When Pat and Put get back together, Pat pours his whole heart and soul into trying to make the relationship work. Because he needs it to work. Because he’s in love with his boss and he can’t be in love with his boss because that way madness (and job loss) lies. We do see moments of them being lovey-dovey, we see moments of flirtation, but the show is extremely intentional about showing that Pat and Put’s relationship is not a happy one. Put ignores Pat over dinner, that dinner scene where Put is mostly focused on his cellphone is dimly and cooly lit, with the tiniest smidge of warmth behind Pat and nothing anywhere close to Put.

They make out in a hotel and Pat asks if Put likes him, and Put does not give him an answer, he just flips the question back around on Pat. Pat doesn’t answer either, not at first, he just kisses Put, and then realizes that it doesn’t feel the way it used to, and whatever feelings he may have had for Put before are no longer there. Because he is in love with his boss. So he leaves Put and goes to the party to seek out the person he wants to be around/with. When Pat breaks up with Put he calls him out on his attempts to manipulate him. So Pat is sad about the break up, sure, and he is allowed to be. But he is also reconciling here with the fact that Put never showed interest in him, unless and until Pat was threatening to leave.

Then we get MLM guy, who is very forward in his interest with Pat. Pat is picking up what MLM guy is putting down (he thinks), and gets all excited about the prospect of having another Hot Tall Boi to channel his energy into so that he isn’t left to think about Jeng or Put’s return to Thailand. Pat is excited for the “date” and is devastated when it turns out this man wasn’t interested in him at all, he just wants him to join a multilevel marketing scheme. After which Pat is harassed at work and hounded by this man until he is literally threatened. So now Pat has to grapple also with the knowledge that the one person who seemed to be obviously, openly interested in him, was just using those emotions to get something out of him. Yet another manipulation. On the Jeng end of things, Jeng is forced to be subtle about his love for Pat by nature of the power imbalance inherent in a boss and employee relationship. Jeng has been intentionally engineering his romantic advances to have as much plausible deniability as possible. Which means, Pat, thinking that Jeng is straight, has not picked up on them. Or rather has convinced himself that Jeng wasn’t being intentional about making moves. If Jeng had been more obvious, had pursued him the way that Pat is used to being pursued, that is, more explicitly, if Jeng had even been more obviously queer, then Pat would have known immediately. But Pat has a luxury that Jeng and even Put do not, which is that him being clockable will not ruin his whole life the way that Put and Jeng as famous, prominent people would run the gauntlet if that information were to get out. Put says it himself in Episode 8: “A famous person like you might not be able to come out a lot, right?”

Jeng isn’t clockable as queer to the average person, and as Pat has been actively trying not to read into things, and has been trying to rein in his own horniness for Jeng, Jeng isn’t clockable to him either. SO…all of this to say that Pat feels that Put was not straightforward with their love, and that Jeng has been disguising all of his attempts at wooing Pat under a safety blanket of work. So Pat is feeling primarily hurt, lied to, and betrayed.

So, what we end up getting with Jeng is…manipulation. He has manipulated every situation to get Pat and him alone together, while at the same time not clueing Pat in to the fact that is what he was doing. While additionally not clueing Pat in to the fact he is gay. While also not clueing Pat into the fact that he’s Jaab’s brother until Pat literally walks into the middle of an interaction between Jaab and Jeng. While also not initially clueing Pat in to the fact he is Pat’s boss even after Jeng realized.

The past two people that Pat has been interested in have manipulated him over and over again.

His coworkers have manipulated him over and over again.

How else is Pat supposed to see Jeng not being explicit about his feelings? He’s being manipulated once again by Jeng not saying anything.

Chot lets Pat know that he can talk to him about anything, and Pat says “it’s ok, it’ll pass”.

Why is that relevant? CAUSE OF PARALLELS THAT COME LATER.

Anyway, Pat is giving an explicit invitation to talk about his feelings, and he brushes it off. Because Chot is an office friend in his office where his boss who he is having feelings about works, and Pat is very much oblivious to the fact that any gay within a 20 mile radius can see what is going on between Pat and Jeng. So he thinks he can’t be honest. Because that puts him and Jeng both in a sticky situation.

So he puts on a brave face, because he thinks that he can, because Jeng isn’t supposed to be in the office today. Because Chot told Pat that Jeng was out and Chot was covering. (Yet another reason why Pat may not want to talk to Chot about Jeng, Chot is literally acting as his boss right now). Because the thoughts Pat is having, the feelings that he is having, they are manageable so long as Pat does not have to face Jeng…

Except Jeng appears. On a day that he is most definitely not supposed to be here. They are at working, they are at work. Jeng does exactly what Pat has just indirectly told Chot he wishes someone would do.

He pulls a “boyfriend” and gives his jacket to his freezing love interest.

Now, is this something Jeng would do in the office? I fucking hope not. But currently, Jeng and Pat are sitting in the back of a dark room, with literally all the other queer people in the office. This is a safe space, this is a shelter. It’s why and how Jeng and Pat’s closeness has progressed in the most recent episodes. Because they have been away from the physical office space, around the straight and sometimes homophobic coworkers, and instead, on set with literally every gay boy known to Man. Jeng knows Chot knows, Jeng knows Jaab knows, having realized that Pat had no idea that he was gay, Jeng has decided he has been approaching things wrong, and gets bolder.

But, Pat has a) still not processed everything, b) is still oblivious to the fact that everyone around him knows exactly what is happening, c) is in the office, and d) is in the office with JENG who Pat was explicitly told would not be there. So you can imagine the stress he is under, and you can imagine with his track-record of manipulative men, that he is thinking very much that Jeng is playing with his emotions.

Because Jeng is playing with his emotions. Not intentionally. But Pat himself has never experienced this particular set of challenges before and Jeng is always on the brain. Pat’s emotional state is out of whack and it is at least 50% Jeng’s fault. Pat, again very maturely, hands that token of affection off to Chot, so that it will seem like nothing. So that it will read as nothing to anyone around him. Because Pat doesn’t know that they know.

Pat, who has still not had the opportunity to get the time and space that he needs from Jeng, because his parents are in town on an extended stay, because he had to go back to work eventually, because Jeng is now right there, once again does the mature thing, and walks away from the situation. He makes space.

Jeng follows after him, which again, makes it extremely obvious that Jeng is acting inappropriately close to Pat. But Jeng knows everyone in the room knows, which is why he can get away with it. But Pat just wants to be alone and Jeng is not letting him.

They retreat to an isolated corner. Where they have one of the juiciest conversations to date:

Jeng: “Did I make you uncomfortable in any way?’

Pat: “No, I’m just tired,”

Jeng: “Is it my fault?”

Pat: “No,”

Jeng: “I’m sorry”

Pat: “Why are you saying sorry to me, when I said it wasn’t your fault?”

Jeng: “You didn’t answer my text, ever since that day”

Pat: “Mr. Jeng, could you stop texting me? If it’s not work related. Don’t invite me to go eat. Don’t drop me off at home.”

And Pat says all of this without making eye contact with Jeng. When he finally does look up? He can see how devastated Jeng looks.

It confuses him in fact, to see this strong of an emotional reaction to Pat drawing these boundaries. Because, while Pat has not explicitly stated this yet, he thinks Jeng is fucking with him. This reaction is running very counter to what Pat is anticipating from this conversation.

So he has to say something else to fill the silence, and to soften the blow:

“Uh…I want to thank you. Thank you for everything. But please don’t do it again. Especially in front of everyone.”

“I can’t say no.”

And I take this two ways coming from Pat. First that Jeng being his boss puts Pat in the terrible situation of potentially not feeling comfortable saying no to Jeng. Because Jeng has power over Pat, even though we all know (or I at least hope based on this entire show so far) that Jeng is not the type of person that would take a personal vendetta out on Pat for rejecting his advances in the office”

Which is why I want to take a secondary lens to this conversation, and read that “I can’t say no” line as a double entendre. Jeng has let Pat know he is gay, Pat has placed all of their interactions into the context of that new information, Pat has realized that Jeng has been pursuing him this whole time. Pat realizes there may be reciprocated feelings involved. Pat tells Chot indirectly that he wants someone to be straightforward in their love. Jeng gives him the jacket. Pat has now been offered a much more clear admission from Jeng about his interest. Pat has feelings for Jeng. Pat has very strong feelings for Jeng. Pat hangs off of Jeng at every given opportunity the second he is out of his head. If Jeng pursues him, if Jeng is genuinely interested in him, if these feelings he has are reciprocated, and Jeng does not give Pat space. Pat will give in to his feelings and they will start an incredibly inappropriate workplace relationship.

Pat can’t say no because Jeng is his boss, and Pat can’t say no because he’s been DTF from the moment he laid his eyes on Jeng.

And again, I argue that Pat has actually been navigating this entire situation incredibly maturely. He removes himself from situations where he may be seen engaging in inappropriate workplace relations, and sets firm boundaries around what type of contact he and Jeng can have.

Pat tries to leave, Jeng pulls him back, wraps him in a hug, and does the thing Pat wishes people would do and is straightforward in his love for Pat:

Gif from @bellepark

Now here is where shit gets fun (read: terrible) for Pat emotionally. Because, ya know, he hasn’t already been dealing with enough shit. Pat sees Jeng: handsome, rich, successful, talented and cannot possibly fathom a reality where Jeng is actually in to him, a 25 year old in his first job, no wealth, no successful business ventures, who is feeling very much like the is untalented because of Chris’ mom on the commercial set. Jeng is everything, Jeng has everything, what could Pat possibly offer?

Gif from @bellepark

It legitimately does not compute. It is far, far simpler for Pat to assume that Jeng is fucking with him, toying with his emotions, possibly even trying to get Pat to admit to feelings so he can turn around and have him fired.

And If it is true that Jeng likes him, then how much has Jeng’s crush impacted his ability to accurately critique Pat? Was Pat only told that he was doing a good job by Jeng because Jeng had a crush? Was Pat given the commercial spot because Jeng had a crush? Is Pat even good at anything or does Jeng just want to fuck him and is therefore elevating his positions in order to leverage Pat’s growing importance to get Pat to do what he wants?

Pat has spent too much time lately being manipulated and being bullied and that is where he is coming from in his interaction with Jeng here. He is young, he does not understand what Jeng could possibly, legitimately want in a relationship with him, and if he lets himself believe that it makes sense for them to be together, then he will not be able to stop himself from getting in to a very dicey HR situation.

Jeng goes home, has a #hotgirlmeltdown and this is where I bring up the parallel that Pat told Chot “It’ll pass” and unfortunately for me Gaga has made it so that when I screenshot I get a black screen so I can’t capture the translation there. But I will just write it down:

“I can handle it…I think I can…I’m fine,”

It reminds me of Pat saying “it’s okay, it’ll pass”

Both of them are lying, but Pat was detached from his feelings when he lied whereas Jeng is consumed by his.

But this is not about Jeng, this is about Pat so we are gonna cut to Jen’s going away party.

Pat is wearing the same outfit as when Jeng confessed and Pat rejected Jeng so we know that Pat is coming in to this party riding a massive emotional wave, and trying to temper that storm. Because he doesn’t have time to process that right now, because this is Jen’s party, and because Ae sees Jen sulking and hands Pat the responsibility of talking with him:

Pat is gonna have to compartmentalize whatever feelings he is having to go handle Jen’s emotional state.

The significant beats I picked up on in this conversation with Jen are the following:

Pat saying he wished he had a home in another province to go back to

Jen saying it is a safe zone for him

Pat having the reality of being able to run away from his problems immediately crushed by Jen saying that he cannot pursue his dreams back home because everything is in Bangkok

Pat having the reality of being able to run away from his problems crushed again when Jen says “Well, everything is here and look at how bad it is”

Jen brushes off his own feelings and asks Pat how he is doing, and here is the crucial part. Huge shout out to @lurkingshan for pointing this out in a conversation we had last night. Jen is quitting. Jen is no longer a coworker to Pat. Pat has someone who is gay, who is no longer going to be involved in company business, and who is moving home to another province and therefore Pat can feel comfortable being honest because Jen is about to become very detached from his world.

“I don’t know, I’m very confused,” Pat says. And this is the first time he has voiced an emotion since he told Jeng he was sad about his break up with Put.

“Is it Mr. Jeng?”

Pat has his shit rocked by Jen asking him about Jeng so casually, like it is no big deal, like he is In The Know. Pat has really been operating under the assumption that no one could tell he had a crush on Jeng.

“These two brothers are the same” Jen gets it. Jen is telling Pat he gets it, and he’s telling Pat that neither Jeng nor Pat have been slick.

“I don’t know, it’s like he’s playing with my feelings,”

And I know this line may be a point of confusion for some people, because we know that Jeng is being sincere. We know, as an audience, how much of a fucking simp Jeng is for Pat. Jeng would crawl on his hands and knees for Pat. Jeng would almost certainly renounce his family and his title and his wealth for Pat. And if we didn’t get that from the last eight episodes, we are explicitly told how much Jeng likes Pat immediately before this scene. Pat consumed every waking thought in Jeng’s head. WE know this. Pat does not.

Pat thinks Jeng is playing with his feelings because of what I outline earlier re: all the manipulation Pat has been through recently with MLM guy, with Put, and with the situations Jeng has manipulated to get them alone together.

Pat believes Jeng is too good to be true, because he’s moved past the stage in the office job where he was so burnt out, stressed out, and exploited that every piece of constructive criticism felt like a personal attack. Pat isn’t angry at his workplace anymore, and therefore isn’t channeling his rage at Jeng anymore, and therefore isn’t focusing on Jeng’s flaws anymore, and as a result thinks Jeng reciprocating Pat’s feelings is too good to be true. Also because Pat doesn’t trust himself. Pat doesn’t see the parts of himself that Jeng sees. Pat doesn’t know why Jeng would like hin because Pat doesn’t understand the ways in which Pat brings life and joy and play in to Jeng’s otherwise extremely serious, almost entirely work-related life.

But Jen will not let Pat have that. Jen is older, Jen is wiser, Jen is an outside, relatively neutral third party where Pat and Jeng are concerned (Jaab is a whole ‘nother story). Jen can understand where and how Jeng and Pat are good for each other, and as a result he is quick to tell Pat not to sell himself short.

And he gives one of the most important pieces of advice that he can give to Pat is that if Jeng truly likes him, he’d find a way to tell Pat.

This singular piece of advice is going to save their relationship I tell you.

Whatever hope, whatever resolve that Pat has to navigate this storm. To figure out if Jeng actually likes him, if Jeng will do something that convinces Pat that he’s serious is crushed the instant Chot tells Pat that Jeng resigned.

Now, those of us in the workforce should be screaming “FUCK YEAH!” because Jeng is taking the responsible adult route by stepping away from his role as boss. Which, if Pat and Jeng were to get together would eliminate any conflict of interest, and if Pat and Jeng weren’t to get together would eliminate any fears Pat would have about Jeng a) harassing him b) firing him or c) retaliating for Pat’s previous rejection.

But…to Pat?! Well, he’s just ruined Jeng’s life. Jeng quit his job, from the company that he built. Pat understands that between Jeng’s position and Pat’s position, Pat is by far the more replaceable of the two. This is Jeng’s family’s company. Pat has realized that he fucked up. Pat is realizing that Jeng is not overstepping boundaries because he is trying to harass Pat, but because he has genuine feelings because the second Pat said to keep it work-only Jeng up and fucking left so that Pat wouldn’t have to worry about seeing him around.

Pat is thinking, Pat is contemplating, Pat is dissociating, and as he goes to wander like a zombie back to his house at the end of the day, SURPRISE Happy Birthday, Pat! Mr. Jeng baked you a cake!

AND THIS IS A LOT TO PROCESS CONSIDERING THAT PAT FORGOT HIS OWN BIRTHDAY! But Jeng remembered, and Jeng made something for him. I would love to go on and on and on and on about the lighting in this scene, but this write up is, as usual, far far longer than I anticipated, and a lot of the lighting details were covered in this phenomenal post by @istanchan

So we are just gonna go with the major take away from this scene. The flame is ignited between Pat and Jeng, Jeng is out of focus, and when Pat blows out the candles, extinguishing the flame, Jeng comes in to focus. Pat is now forced to face his feelings about Jeng, in a way he has been desperately trying to suppress for however long of a time frame this episode covers.

Pat goes home, yet again dissociating because the second that he reattaches his consciousness to his body he knows its fucking over.

And at this point, Pat has exhausted all avenues. He tried to get over his initial crush on Jeng by dating Put, and realized that he was not actually interested in that relationship. He tried to give himself distance and time to process his emotions immediately following the coming out incident, and was interrupted by his mother, he tried to brush off his feelings in the hope that they would pass, he returned to work and tried to get back into the groove of things under the safe assumption that Jeng would not be there, only to have Jeng show up. He asked Jeng to keep their interactions work related only to have Jeng hug him and tell him he really likes him, he started to have a conversation about his feelings with the only person who would understand, who is about to leave the province, and he maybe is feeling a bit better, and certainly more resolved. We can tell that also in the way that Pat approaches Jeng’s office after his talk with Jen, only to have the rug pulled out from under him with the update that Jeng has resigned.

He has tried and tried and tried to get over Jeng. He has tried and tried and tried to convince himself that Jeng can’t actually possibly like him back. This man has tried. And he can’t take it anymore. He sits down, his parents sing him happy birthday, they immediately pick up on the fact that Pat isn’t doing well, and they ask the fateful question:

And this is the first time Pat has really had to sit and process everything. This is the point where he settles down, both exhausted and having exhausted all other options…and everything hits at once.

“This is the year I forgot my own birthday” my life has been so busy and chaotic I have fully lost track of time (starting a new job, being exploited at new job, getting new boss, getting micromanaged by new boss, being hate crimed at work by my coworkers, best friend gets pregnant, working to get Forge client secured, trying to do 90% of the labor in a one sided relationship with Put, filming Forge commercial and trying to convince the Forge people that he is competent)

“I even forgot that you’d come back to see me every year,” I am a bad child for forgetting my parents would come to visit.

“It’s like I focused on everything except myself,” I have been avoiding my own feelings and focusing on others (i have been suppressing my feelings for Jeng, I have been trying to put those feelings elsewhere, I poured all my energy in to work and in to the MLM guy and in to Put)

“But I don’t know how to deal with this feeling,” I have tried fucking everything I know to manage my emotional state, which I know is already a weak spot of mine and something I am actively working on and nothing I have tried has brought me even remotely close to working through these emotions.

His parents immediately jump in to help, but the problem is Pat without context is not making a ton of sense, and the only thing they really have to latch on to is “I don’t know how to deal with this feeling” and his parents give him a hard truth.

“You can’t escape anywhere.”

It was something that Pat started to realize in his conversation with Jen, when he told Jen he wished he had a house to escape to, and Jen reminded him that he could have no dreams there. But Jen is heartbroken and fleeing from the bad things in his life, so it hits a little different when Pat’s parents, who he loves, who seem to generally have their lives together, who are divorced but still clearly get along, who love and care for one another despite no longer being married, and who are emotionally very mature, and shining examples to Pat of how to navigate emotional turmoil look right at him and say “you can’t escape this feeling,”

And Pat has a breakdown.

Which, in my opinion, makes complete and total sense and is incredibly justified considering everything that he has been through in recent months. Everything that he has been trying to navigate and manage while he is alone in another country, away from his family, with no friends to talk to because of the ways they are connected to him.

And doesn’t it just suck that you finally have the people who have supported you all your life look right at you and be unable to do anything but hold you through your tears. Physically he has support, but there is no way out of these emotions but through them.

This is the release, and he still has a lot of shit to sort out, but he’s had a good cry and he’s ready to press on. He goes shopping with Ae, and while he does still seem distracted, he is doing better, he is participating in conversation rather than fully dissociating, he is teasing her (“can i have that cake?”) so he is moving more towards a point of equilibrium. Ae has her baby, makes him an uncle, and that is enough to shake Pat out of the depression spiral he has been in because look at the amazing miracle of life he has just witnessed.

He returns home from another chaotic and exhausting evening (helping his bestie deliver her baby on the back of a bus #casual) and finds a package waiting for him.

An incredibly well utilized in-universe ad, of a snack Pat mentioned he liked once, in passing, months ago to Jeng. Jeng has always paid attention to Pat, and I don’t know how much attention Pat has allowed himself to pay to Jeng that would get him to realize that. It’s the aspect of this whole thing that Pat has not been ready or willing to acknowledge. Because the second he realizes that Jeng is gay, the depth of Jeng’s engagement and focus on Pat becomes a lot more clear.

Pat find the happy birthday note from Jeng and collapses on to the bed surrounded by the snacks to think about things.

To think, in particular, about what Jen said about Jeng finding ways to show he cares if he is serious.

It cuts to Jeng, who is being driven to the brink of madness, who has been trying to maintain distance, but needs more than life itself to let Pat know that he is serious. It has been days, days at least since he has last spoken to Pat, and he cannot stop thinking about the final thing Pat said to him “Why do you like me, it doesn’t make sense,”

Jeng sends this message

And the episode ends before we see Pat get that text. I am very excited to see his reaction when he reads that, surrounded by wasabi peas.

Now, maybe I am way way overanalyzing all of this because I will always come to Pat’s defense, maybe I am trying to convince people that if you just follow the lines and the lights and the body language everything you need to understand Pat is right there because there are so many parts of Pat that live in me, (though many that don’t), maybe I am blind to where the gaps in this episode rest when it comes to how they wrote Pat’s story, but I didn’t need more explicitly stated moments for Pat leading up to this breakdown because, well…

It makes sense to me.

(thank you to anyone who made it to the end, I recognize this is a long post even for me, haha oopsie. I would be unsurprised if I hit 10 hours total of work on this post between screen-shotting, double checking scenes, and writing it)

#step by step #step by step the series #step by step analysis post #step by step meta #step by step discussion #jengpat #manben #ben bunyapol #man trisanu #dee hup house #jeng x pat #gonna have to start getting an editor on my posts or something to tone them down #damn #at least y'all are well trained in reading lots of text a la fanfiction style #maybe i can fool you in to reading this whole thing

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