#autistic!ienzo

[phylumhearts]

[luxustextbox]

zexion

source (with permission) from an axel/zexion fic by popps

[pridebicons]

autistic pan ienzo pride icons

requested by anon

like/rb if using + credit

[strayheartless]

Thinking about autistic Riku…

Riku who wasn’t diagnosed until after he became a keyblade master, and that was only because Merlin took one look at him and was like “oh my sweet summer child.”

15yr old Riku at the peak of his masking having actual fits of physical rage in his bedroom that he doesn’t really have an answer for other than “today was hard” that are actually meltdowns. We’re talking throwing things, braking shit, rocking and hair gripping. The whole nine yards.

Riku who struggles comprehending why his friends make plans and then don’t follow them through. Like building the raft. They said they were going to do it, so he was doing it. Why was he the only one taking it seriously?

Riku who’s grasp on humour and sarcasm is good up to a point. Meaning he knows how to do it himself, but if it’s directed at him it takes him a hot second to sus it out. He usually ends up giving actual explanations to people for their sarcasm, even though he’s registered what it was, and then gets told “I was joking”. Which fustrated the hell out of him because he KNEW that!!

Riku who has really bad light sensitivity and it’s part of the reason he keeps his hair long for such a long time. Sometimes he kind of wishes he could have the blindfold back.

Riku who despite purposefully keeping his hair long, spends nearly every day tying it back because it’s too much, then taking it down because that’s too much, then putting it back up and taking it back down until he seriously considers taking a pair of scissors to it.

Riku who doesn’t like to be touched unless he’s initiating the touch. Sora is the ONLY exception to that rule, but even then Riku has days when he moves out of Sora’s hold because it’s too much.

Riku who’s special interest is Gummi ships and is VERY happy when they go to see Cid and the RGRC because Cid is the only one that can keep up with his 1000mph rants about mobility blocks and rotation weaponry.

Riku who values silence, and no one can figure out how he deals with Sora’s constant stream of chatter, until he one day moves his hair back to show Mickey the earplugs in his ears. He felt guilty about it for a long time until Sora told him he already knew about the plugs and didn’t mind, he just like being with him.

Riku who likes to play with kairis hair but can’t abide having his own hair touched.

Riku who will usually eat anything but if you give him avocado he will have the biggest sensory ick moment you’ve ever seen. Same goes for mushrooms.

Riku who steadfastly refuses to sleep in fuzzy PJ’s because “no thanks I’d rather be flayed alive, it would be less stressful.”

Riku who, at aged 8, told kairi that if she put that scarf around his neck he would “absolutely start screaming” and then did when she insisted he’d catch cold. Scarfs are demon cloths.

Riku who would rather sit at the back of squalls office in the corner while the other man works, than sit in the science lab with everyone else because Squalls office is quiet and he likes that Squall says what he means.

Riku who ignored his own emotional, physical and sensory needs/wellbeing for months while looking for sora and ended up having a meltdown in front of Mickey and master YenSid.

Riku who now has an app on his Gummiphone that Cid, Squall, Even and Ienzo designed to help him build routine and regulate/track his emotional well-being.

He relies of the breathing exercises game a lot in Quadratum.

Riku who is the reason chip and dale created dark mode in phone settings because nobody could figure out why he barely used his phone until he admitted that it always felt like he was looking into the sun.

Riku who has keyblade related Stims, like tapping the flat of the blade with his nails or messing with the key chain when he’s stressed.

Riku who also has stims such as: flicking his tongue inside his mouth while he’s thinking; twirling strands of his hair incessantly; scrunching his nose; clicking his fingers when he’s distressed; tapping the toe of his boot against the opposite heel when he’s stood still; imperceptible swaying; holding his thumb knuckle gently between his teeth; soft popping noises with his mouth; tapping his palms with the tips of his fingers.

I have more but this is it for now.

[leastrife]

I wanna ramble about random KH headcanons I have because I’m bored and why not:

- Aroace Ienzo in a QPR with Demyx

- Autistic Ienzo

- Ienzo gets overwhelmed at things being messy but also feels overwhelmed at the idea of cleaning

- Trans Luxu

- All of the foreteller’s have ptsd

- Aroace Ephemer

- Trans Brain

- Brain pretends to like black coffee but secretly still uses creamer

- Ira and Aced are the oldest of the foreteller’s, Invi is a year younger, Ava, Gula, and Luxu are a few months apart

- Brain is demisexual and Lauriam was his first crush after they became friends

- Ansem x Even in a QPR

- Xigbar tried telling the foreteller’s minus Ava that MoM actually just screwed them over, Ira had the hardest time accepting it because he was the most devout to the masters teachings

- Luxu gets terrible nightmares for the first months after he possesses someone new but they eventually go away and he pushes away the guilt he has

- Aeleus is the one who found Ienzo and brought him to the castle and Even and Ansem adopted him

- Luxu always preferred using long distance weapons

- Apprentice Xehanort always felt out of place with the other apprentices

- After KH3 Ienzo is scared to admit he misses Braig since all of the others see him as having chosen the darkness and Ienzo knows that but Braig was still one of the ones who cared for him as a child

[underrated-kh-blorbo]

Underrated KH Blorbo - Round 3 Match 1

Isaix - Give him his good redemption arc!

VS

Ienzo - Everyone's favorite autistic guy! (mod is autistic and will keep using the 'tism as a compliment for Ienzo)

[dullahandyke]

Once again thinking ienzo thoughts... nonverbal obviously autistic child > turned into a creature that couldn't feel emotions for his entire teenhood > 'well-adjusted' young man... good thing hes an illusionist because theres no way in hell this cunt isnt masking

[acreaturecalledgreed]

even raising ienzo is a very good and wholesome thing b/c its worlds most autistic child raised by worlds most autistic dad

[ngc-5194]

👀👀 i am Looking

omg,, hi kat <33333333

now ok stop me if i get too wild here but. kingdom hearts. a series i happen to enjoy. crazy i know. that but. in au form.

now exactly which one of my aus for this series i am talking about is a great question. so. heres the thing. i like skuld. she is very dear to me. therefore i enjoy the theory that she is subject x. another character i like is ienzo. so i am shoving them forcefully into the same room and letting them bounce off the walls.

in more normal terms: imagine you are like 8 year old ienzo. you are explicitly prohibited from entering the radiant garden castle's prison thing in the basement. you are also however 8 years old and full of childlike and autistic wonder and curiosity. so obviously one night when you are in the middle of sneaking down to the kitchen to get yourself a cup of water and maybe a chocolate if you don't get caught, you decide to check out the basement instead since you are now at no risk of getting caught and stopped. this is your first mistake. your second is following the three voices you can faintly hear after you are thoroughly lost until you find a girl down there in one of the cells next to the others filled with moving, crawling, rustling, breathing darkness. your third is coming back to visit her again the next night.

[jesterscharms]

Okay so like what is it with Ansem (The Wise edition) and wanting his apprentices-turned-Nobodies dead

These are like your kids you maniac and then there's Ienzo who is basically just the collective silly autistic son of the entire Radiant Garden staff I can't,,,

Also for the love of all that is adorable why did they not give like Zexion and the other former Org XIII members data fights. I wanna see the silly guy in high quality and then immediately lose because I'm rusty as hell at KH3

[invidiatechdemo]

like ftr: i hc xehanort and a number of other characters in kh as autistic. 'huh what other characters' ienzo, riku, terra, xion... there's a list somewhere but i don't have the energy to grab it atm.

that old man, for better or worse, stims. i know this. i perceive it.

[aliceslantern]

Beyond this Existence, short 5--Hair

Recovery is a tedious, nonlinear process. Demyx, Ienzo, and the others living in Radiant Garden's castle have to learn to come to terms with their pasts and their memories, learn to grow, and begin to understand what, exactly, it means to be human. While there is unexpected joy in this, there is also unexpected sorrow. A series of oneshots set after Beyond this Existence.

Current short: “Hair.”  Demyx helps give Ienzo a haircut, but this is not as simple as it seems.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

----

Weekends, Demyx insisted, were for resting. So here Ienzo was. Doing nothing. As time passed, he felt less guilt for doing so. He needed time for himself. To rest the mind.

He brushed the hair away from his shoulder, only for it to settle back into place. It was a tangible signifier of weeks and months passing. He never minded the weight of it. But it was long enough that it was starting to tickle his collarbone, noticeable enough to be irritating.

“I brought you some tea.” Demyx shoved a mug into his peripheral.

“Sweet of you. Thanks.”

He pecked him on the cheek and then settled into the armchair opposite Ienzo. He’d been calmly composing all morning, transcribing recordings of his own songs from the gummiphone. Ienzo found he did not mind spending time together separately, so to speak. A companionable silence.

“What are you reading?”

“A trashy mystery novel,” he said. “It’s obvious the nephew did it. Yet these idiots keep blathering on and ignoring the complex foreshadowing.”

He smiled a little. “So why not read something else?”

“I’m this far into it. I might as well finish the job.”

“You know. You can like shitty things.”

“I know.”

He tried to get back into the story, but he could feel the hair there, rubbing despite the shirt he wore. Pulling it away from his eyes also caused a certain uncomfortable level of sensory input. He huffed, a touch unconsciously.

Demyx raised an eyebrow. “You having problems?”

“It’s--this mess,” Ienzo said emphatically, tugging at his bangs. “It’s getting too long. Too unmanageable.”

“Want me to fix it for you?”

“What?”

“I can fix it. I’ve always cut my own hair.”

Ienzo bit his lip. “I don’t exactly think our sensibilities quite match.” He’d been all-too-pleased when Demyx grew out the mullet, replacing it with a more mature (well, for him) undercut.

Demyx scoffed. “I wouldn’t change anything. Just cut off the extra bits.”

Ienzo considered. He was too sensitive about this for it to go on much longer. “All right. Fine.”

Demyx stood and offered his hands. “Step into my office.” He carried a chair into the bathroom. “Wet down your hair. I’m going to go find some scissors.”

Ienzo did as he said. The water in the bathtub was cold against his skin, and he shuddered. Kneeling over it like this was also not comfortable. He wrapped a towel around his shoulders. The more time passed, the more he was convinced that humanity was an endless list of small problems which needed small solutions. What to make for dinner. What to do with one’s appearance. After so long living with heavily macroscopic, high-stakes problems requiring complex thought and planning,  Ienzo realized that he found these little problems more stressful. Oddly enough.

Demyx came back with a pair of sewing shears and a comb. “I’m back. Pop a squat.”

A cool wave of anxiety washed over him, and his hands trembled where they held the towel. Demyx parted his wet hair and began to delicately snip at the strands on Ienzo’s left side. Seeing the silvery clumps fall to the floor send another shudder through him, as though he were shedding his skin.

“Are you cold?” Demyx asked.

“Perhaps a little. There was no hot water.” The lie made him feel a bit guilty. “Did you know that the human body continually changes its own cells? Eventually, after about seven years, you’ll have a completely new one. Bones and all.”

“Really?” He kept trimming carefully, every now and again making sure he had the right length. “What made you think of that?”

“Well, seeing all this hair made me realize that someday I’ll have a body completely unaffected by all that trauma.”

“How do you feel about that?” Demyx moved from left to right. His gaze was intense and focused.

“It’s yet another reminder that this is the next phase of my life. Part of me still feels as though I may wake up back in that castle.”

“It was your home for almost twelve years.” He said this matter-of-fact. “No matter how shitty it was, it’s part of you. You want your bangs to come down to your chin, right?”

“Yes.” Ienzo wished he could see what Demyx was doing. The soft snip of the scissors by his ear was not helping the anxious knot in his stomach. Demyx hefted the hair gently, fitting in the layers, checking the length on both sides. He seemed sure enough of himself, and Ienzo tried to take comfort in this.

“Almost done,” he said. “I’ll just clean up the back a bit.”

Ienzo could feel the scissors, cool and sharp at the nape of his neck--

--An icy sharp hand wrapping around his throat--

And the next thing he knew he heard the scissors clattering loudly against the wall. He’d pulled himself tightly into a ball, one hand cupped around his neck as though for protection. The water in the tub was running, and Demyx was washing off a jagged slash against his wrist. Ienzo tried to speak, to apologize, but no sound came. Demyx whispered a spell over the wound and it healed. He approached Ienzo slowly, but he could see that he was guarding himself.

“Hey,” Demyx said softly. “You alright?”

Ienzo cleared his throat and coughed a little. Not silence; just shock. “I’m truly sorry.” His voice was barely a whisper. “I felt the sharpness against the scars and I could remember --”

“I thought that’s what it was,” he said. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“This is something that hasn’t affected me in a long while. It didn’t even cross my mind.” He was shivering all over, numb. “Your wrist--”

“It’s fine,” he said. He showed it to Ienzo; there was nothing but a quickly-fading red mark. “See? No harm done.”

Ienzo forced himself to uncurl and looked behind him. The scissors had broken in two against the tile wall, and there was a faint--but noticeable--spray of blood.

“You’re shaking like a leaf,” Demyx said. “Can I touch you?”

He hesitated. This was the second time he’d hurt Demyx in one of these spells. It was all entirely unconscious and out of self-protection, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t regret it. He nodded a little. Demyx took the towel off of his shoulders and drew him gently into his arms. Ienzo tried to ground himself, to put some distance between himself and the memory.

-- “You know, he’s a good a place to start as any.”--

It was all too bright, too rich, too vivid. His breath was hot in his throat. The replica had strangled him with one hand, yet the darkness had sliced into him all around, like a noose.

It was not easy to remember how to die.

Eventually, eventually, the panic started to fade, leaving him fraught with exhaustion and vaguely achy. He wiped at his eyes. Demyx held him out at arm’s length. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I… despise what these memories do to me.”

“I’m fine,” Demyx reasserted. “Look, I should have known better than to touch you with something sharp. Trauma isn’t all that smart.”

“Aren’t you angry me? Or at least afraid?”

Demyx furrowed his eyebrows. “Would you feel better if I were mad at you?”

Ienzo groaned and put his head in his hands. “No,” he conceded. “I am… humiliated.”

“You couldn’t help it.”

“Even so. Why are you always so gentle with me?”

“Do you feel like you don’t deserve that? Because that’s the vibe I’m getting right now.”

Ienzo cursed his insightfulness.

Demyx knelt so that they were roughly eye level. “I don’t mind taking care of you, because I love you. That’s what we do. We look out for each other.” He sighed. “I don’t know if this… helps, but you know that if that hadn’t happened, you wouldn’t be here right now? You wouldn’t have changed, or grown. I’m not saying that invalidates how absolutely horrible you feel right now. But you’ve got another chance.”

He looked at his hands, which still visibly shook. “Factually, I know that. I know that my death was necessary. And yet… I am haunted.”

“I am too,” Demyx said softly. He touched a small spot under his ribs, and then shook his head.

Ienzo took Demyx’s hand and kissed the healing mark. Touch was grounding. He wrapped his arms around his waist and rested against him for a while, listening to his heart beat. The terrible trembling stopped, slowly. He felt, if not better, at the very least stable.

Demyx stroked his hair slowly to the ends. "I'm guessing this bit will wait a while," he said to the top of Ienzo's head. He brushed his fingers against the scars hesitantly, but skin wasn't nearly as frightening as the sharp scissors. "I can fix this."

Ienzo looked up.

"The… the scars." He bit his lip. "I can heal them. Maybe not all the way, but… maybe a little. Would you want that?"

Ienzo cupped his throat. "I…"

"You don't have to. But I know how you feel about them."

"Would that be ignoble of me, to want them gone?" He tried to imagine it. At the very least, he wouldn't have to worry if his shirt would cover them.

"No. Not at all."

"If only you could dull the memory."

"I wish I could." Demyx kissed his forehead. "You can think about it. I just… I hate seeing you in pain."

He didn't even have to ponder it. “I want you to try. To fix it, I mean.”

He pressed his forehead against Ienzo’s. “Okay. I can… I’ll do my best.”

Ienzo touched his throat. He wasn’t erasing the memories, or the way they’d made him change. Just the scars. This was not something he needed to move forward. “What about you?” he asked after a long moment.

Demyx looked confused. “What about me?”

“Have you considered the same for yourself?”

His hand shot to a spot against his ribs. “Honestly? I haven’t,” he said. “I don’t… think about it much. They’re easy to cover up. I’m… used to having scars. I don’t know if it would make me feel better. I don’t think I feel the same way about Demyx’s death anymore.”

It was always strange to hear him talk about himself in the third person, but Nobody Demyx and this Demyx were two separate entities; moreso even than Ienzo and Zexion. Zexion had had all of Ienzo’s memories. Nobody Demyx had… nothing. Which explained the discrepancies in his personality.

“In a way, I’m kind of glad it happened the way it did,” Demyx admitted. “I… I couldn’t imagine life without you. Or anyone else here, for that matter.”

“It does seem like a twist of fate brought us together,” Ienzo said. “At least, on paper.”

“At least I didn’t have to die twice.” He scoffed. After a moment, “Do you think we’ll ever hear anything about Sora?”

“I certainly hope so.” Abandoning that research had been the right thing to do, but that didn’t mean it came easily. “The only person who knows anything is Riku, and I haven’t heard from him in a long while. I truly feel in my heart that this isn’t the last we’ve seen of Sora. Or Kairi, for that matter. If I’ve learned anything, death… doesn’t quite take for those in dire circumstances.”

“It’s in the bonds. Right?”

“Yes.” Ienzo squeezed Demyx’s hand.

His smile dropped, and his expression became more serious. “Can I ask you something?”

“What’s on your mind?”

“When you were… asleep, all those weeks, did you ever have the choice to go on?”

Ienzo hesitated.

“I know I did,” Demyx said. “When my memory came back, if not for you, the pain would’ve made me lose the will to live.”

There was a reason he’d never discussed those weeks of dreams. He hadn’t… lied, exactly, but nobody had ever asked if he’d felt or remembered anything from that time, and he had sort of… let that delusion take root. He could either make it a real lie, or admit the truth. Ienzo tried to find the words. “...Yes,” he said slowly. “It was a more or less constant struggle, to hang onto my life.”

Demyx bit his lip.

“I wouldn’t say it was pain, not the way you experienced it. Moreso an atypical form of exhaustion.”

“Aerith said you wore down your will.”

“I did.” Ienzo shut his eyes. “To live was a conscious thought, one that made me ache. More than once it became a burden I could not psychically bear. But I… I heard your voice. And Ansem’s. And Even’s. But especially yours. And I knew it wouldn’t be right to die without doing everything in my power to live first. So I did.”

Demyx’s eyes were watering.

“I do not intend on leaving you again,” Ienzo whispered. “I can promise you that.” He kissed him. He felt Demyx reach up and cup his cheek, always with such gentleness. “After all, there is still so much left in this life for me to experience. There’s so much we’ve missed.”

“I know,” he said.

“We always seem to end up in these dreadfully existential conversations,” Ienzo said, in an attempt at lightness.

“I like listening to you talk,” Demyx said.

“You’re rather insightful as well. I notice you tend to hide it, though.”

He shrugged, though color rushed to his face.

“You’re always observing. It’s one of the things I love most about you. You always see more than you admit to.”

“It’s gotten me in trouble,” he muttered.

Ienzo touched his face. “Let’s agree not to hide anymore.”

He nodded, blinking back tears. “Okay.”

[everyonesonthespectrum]

Today’s Autistic character of the day is:

Ienzo from Kingdom Hearts

[icyanz]

Kingdom hearts characters that are autistic because I said so:

Kairi

Namine

Ventus

Vanitas

Ienzo

Isa

Roxas

Xion

[darkvolley]

Autistic Ienzo/Zexion evidence

(This is just my headcanon so I'm not saying it's a fact. If you disagree that's completely fine, but don't reblog just to say that.)

Didn't speak on screen as a child. Could be mute/selective-mutism. Said mutism could be related to losing his parents.

When he does speak he's very stiff and long-winded.

Doesn't like being interrupted.

Often does that 'crossed arms with hand on chin' thing while he thinks. Could be stim related so he can think better.

His reaction after his battle against Riku and during his encounter with Repliku could be due to a sensory overload caused by the battle and the disruption of his plans thanks to the way Riku easily used darkness, which he didn't expect.

The moment in 3 where he continuously taps his finger on the table could also be stimming.

When he was talking about the data to Sora and co. he had to stop and rephrase it in a simpler way since he was getting caught in explaining it.

[steampunker134]

Y’all I got 1 like and that’s literally all it takes for me to continue rambling, so here’s some stuff about the Science Household!

Ansem, Terra, Xemnas, and Ienzo are all autistic. Ienzo’s special interests are technology, chemistry, and biology. Ansem’s special interests are weaponry, warfare, and psychology. Xemnas has a hyperfixation on philosophy, as well as any mythos and lore he can come across. Terra is a carpenter, and has a special interest in various woods and rocks. 

Xion is trans because it’s what she deserves.

Aeleus is a war veteran, and is selectively mute. All his kids know ASL to talk with him.

The Repliku Twins both have ADHD

Namine struggles with anxiety

Even’s fine, he’s just crazy

Annnnnnd... that’s about it for the science house! I’ll probably come up with more things to blab about for them, though.