#auspicioustarantula

[finchesslingshott]

HOLY SHIT JUST FOUND THIS POST FROM 2018...

auspicioustarantula walked so the Binch Revolution of Tumblr 2024 could run

buttons x finch

binch

[racetrackhiggins]

*sliding into your askbox like its an appropriate way to make friends* heLLO rich!!! do u have any fluffy javid headcanons!

hELLO JULS!!! oh buddy boy ya bettah buckle up im bouta go stream of conscious on this!

canon: 

jack goes and paints all the time at medda’s theatre, but david learns to tell the time difference of him simply helping her out and him sulking in there for any reason

either way, he’ll go check on him and maybe bring him dinner and make him take a break

jack will be all stiff after being hunched over for a long time, and so davey will rub his shoulders and it makes jack melt every single time

jack goes to jacobs’ family dinners every sunday, they insist, and davey’s mom ends up liking him a lot and always fusses over him, and more than once she has confiscated the shirt right off his back to patch up a tear 

jack also ends up introducing sarah to katherine wink wonk

jack takes davey up to his rooftop sometimes to stargaze and cuddle and sometimes every time jack will look away from the stars to look at davey and he can’t help but think that davey’s eyes could put even the brightest stars to shame, that his smile could make the full glowing moon bow before him

davey catches him. every time. and he’ll blush, ask why he’s lookin’ at him like that

and jack just leans down to kiss him “because you are the most beautiful sight in new york”

modern: 

all that applies to a modern au of course

except they aren’t “just good friends” to the public in a modern au

davey is an out and proud gay man and jack is a bisexual mess

they are the grossly in love couple although the newsies have a few of those *cough cough* blush*  and everyone makes fun of them for it (in good sport of course)

race in particular likes to point at them when they are having a tender moment and ask to whoever is around “is this allowed?” like the vine

or if its college au and they are dormmates, “and they were roommates!” leaving whoever else is there to say “oh my god they were roommates” 

jack rolls his eyes and davey can’t help but laugh softly and kiss him anyways cause he’s gotten a lot bolder cause of jack and the rest of the newsies

davey is an ap student whether its a high school or college au and that means STRESS

he tries to pull all-nighters all the time and jack will just throw a pillow at him. if that doesn’t work, then he will gently take the pencil and paper or books or laptop away from him and literally just pick him up and take him to one of their beds and cuddle him to sleep

davey tries to do the same thing when jack is overworking himself with an art project, but he is too weak to pick jack up… so he sits in jack’s lap and kisses him until he forgets about it, then jack is basically putty in his hands anyways, and he takes him to bed 

[thecoveys]

hello ahne the love of my life, my beautiful queen, may i have some cuddling headcanons for ravey, almer, and spalbert 💚💚💕💚💙💚💙👏

Request something?

sure you can, my sweet child ;;;

Ravey

Race is the big spoon, and he’s got such long limbs he just completely wraps himself around Davey, and Davey just loves it

Race calls his spooning technique for “backpacking”, because he will sometimes wrap himself around Davey’s torso like a backpack

Davey l o v e s playing with Race’s hair because it’s so soft

Whenever they fall asleep cuddling they wake up all tangled together

One of their arms has gone numb, nobody knows what legs belongs to who, Davey’s knee is digging into Race’s thigh, and it’s just all kinds of uncomfortable

And they love it

Davey kisses Race’s head a lot

And Race kisses Davey’s neck a lot

Sometimes, if Race is being extra persistent with the neck kisses, Davey has to tell him to stop because this may lead to other things real fast if he keeps going

Almer

Elmer is the softest boy ever, okay? This guy is just so comfortable and cuddly and warm and soft, and Albert LOVES it

They’ve cracked this whole cuddling thing, it never gets uncomfortable

Albert is the big spoon

Elmer just feels so safe and loved whenever Albert holds him kill me i love them

Lots of small kisses all over

Elmer kisses Albert’s collar bones whenever he has the chance

Albert never misses a chance to kiss Elmer’s lips deeply and slowly

This is kind of cliché, but bear with me ok i’m trying my best:

Elmer loves playing connect the dots with Albert’s freckles, he can do it for hours on end

Albert will sometimes trace patterns on Elmer’s stomach when they’re spooning, and this always makes Elmer shudder in the best way possible

Spalbert

Spot likes the feeling of having Albert lay on top of him; he finds the weight comforting

Albert relishes in the feeling of being the only one who gets to see the king of Brooklyn all soft, vulnerable, and cuddly

Whenever Albert is laying on top of him, Spot will rest his hands on his waist and run them up and down from time to time

Albert adores it

Lots and lots of forehead kisses

Neck kisses too, but those have to be used carefully because they both find them incredibly arousing

They fall asleep holding hands aLL THE TIME

Spot will never tell anyone, but he loves being the little spoon

They play with each other’s hair constantly !!

[catboygretzky]

ravey with 19 i would actually die

Hello, yes, here’s some fluff and pining.

Prompt: “I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me” that became a slight friends to enemies to friends to lovers.Era: Modern AU

Word count: 3,287

Warnings: just a bit of swearing

Other things: nonbinary Albert (they/them), side Kid Blink/Mush, Elmer/Jojo, Albert/Finch, Jack/his feelings

Race had never been in love. He’d had relationships, had thought it was love - in the end, it was all physical, or just a fleeting attraction. Nothing like the TV tried to sell, or scientific journals tried to explain.

Breathlessness.

Racing heart.

Sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach.

He’d never felt desperate to be with someone, nor felt such fervent desire that it was near unbearable.

There was even scientific proof that if you’re in love you don’t feel physical pain as severely.

He was shaken from his reverie by two hands slamming down onto the coffee table where he had all of his books - that he was definitely reading - spread about. Maybe shaken wasn’t the best word actually -

“Fucking hell, Al, I nearly just shit myself,” Race’s heart was beating a mile a minute - wasn’t that a sign of love?

“Charming.”

Race felt his shoulders clench at Davey saying a simple weird. Like always, he resorted to being mean. “Well, if you don’t like how I talk to my friends, you can just leave.”

Race saw a flash of something in Davey’s eyes that made him almost regret how harsh his words were. Almost. Davey had just walked through the door, and he was already being cruel to him. He’d just told him to leave his own goddamn apartment, which - even for Race - was a bit much.

He had no idea why it all started, but it was an accepted truth - Davey and Race did not get along. They’d grown up together, had been best friends, until junior year of high school, when Davey had started to pull away. Eventually growing apart had turned to this, something just shy of hatred.

“Jacobs,” Race said flatly.

“Higgins,” Davey responded just as flatly. “Tidy up when you’re done pretending to study. It’s movie night and we’re hosting.”

With that he headed towards the kitchen.

Albert sighed. “Racer, why you gotta be so cruel to him?”

“What?! He was cruel first!”

“He literally just made a comment about how you shitting yourself was gross, and you told him to leave his own apartment,” they sighed again. “If I had made the comment, would you have yelled at me?”

Race turned back to his books and ignored the look Albert was giving him.

~

“Have you tidied your mess?”

“If you would use your eyes, you can see that I have,” Race snapped back. “What’s the point of wearing glasses if you don’t use your eyes?”

“I was just asking, Higgins. You don’t need to be rude.”

“I don’t need to be rude? I can’t go five minutes without you judging me.”

Davey did what he always did and stalked into his room, slamming the door. Point Race.

The rest of their friends arrived an hour later; Jack was either carrying an action film, or a sad pretentious one, depending on if he had broken up with his newest fling.

“Pizza rolls?” Elmer yelled towards the kitchen.

“You will have nothing until you remove your shoes, Elmer. And you don’t have to yell.”

“Alrighty, mother dearest.” Davey rolled his eyes with a smile.

“So, Jacky,” Davey said as he placed a tray of pizza rolls on the coffee. “I see that the film you brought is in black and white. What was her name again?”

Race couldn’t help it - he burst out laughing. Davey turned to him with surprise and a small smile.

He felt himself flush - due to the heat of having so many bodies in a small space, he was sure.

“I’m going to get some fresh air,” he said quickly. “Feel free to start without me.”

~

“So,” Elmer said, drawing out the word. Race didn’t realize he had been followed and jumped. “You know how it’s my birthday next week? And that you still don’t know what to get me?”

Race looked towards the ground. “What are you trying to get me to do, Elmer?”

“Be nicer to Davey.”

He looked up so suddenly he nearly broke his neck. Elmer’s patented puppy dog eyes were lethal.

“Now why would I do that?”

“Because I know you don’t like fighting any more than he does. Because if you were friends we wouldn’t have to separate you during film nights. Because you know you’ve been bottling up the pain that is actually causing this,” Elmer replied. His grin was huge because he knew he had won.

Race nodded after a moment, to which Elmer gave him quick a hug and walked back. “Don’t want to miss the break up film. Or the pizza rolls.”

When Elmer had gone after his flying visit, he sighed to himself. It was small, a throwaway grin. It didn’t make up for the years of antagonistic behavior from both of them.

He walked a few minutes and sat on a bench farther from the apartment block and thought back to the mean things he’d said to Davey Jacobs over the last three years.

He could admit it; he had been a bully. He’d belittled him, made fun of his interests, started fights over the smallest things. But now, after Elmer’s comment, he saw a different side to their interactions, saw it from a different view. From a different emotional perspective.

That the animosity was to cover the ache of heartbreak. The loathing was a poor bandage for the ache of losing the most important part of him.

He wasn’t stupid. Losing his best friend with no explanation, explanations he so easily could have asked for, had slowly broken his heart. Every time Davey would be laughing near his locker with some Tom, Dick, or Stanley, but could only spare a nod in his direction. It hadn’t happened suddenly, he hadn’t woken up one day to a note in his locker that said they were done. Race should have been able to move on; Davey wasn’t the only friend he had lost in his life, but he was Davey.

As children, they were David and Anthony, giggling at recess together. David and Anthony building pillow forts, names near one entity.

Middle school came, and they were David and Anthony, sitting in the back of the class most definitely paying attention. David and Anthony, passing notes back and forth.

Then high school came, and suddenly they were Davey and Race, walking to school together. Davey and Race, tossing carrots at each other during lunch. Davey and Race, tutoring each other in subjects they didn’t understand.

Then junior year came, and they were Davey and Race, nodding to each other in the hallway. Davey and Race, not even sitting at the same lunch table.

Then senior year came, and they were Jacobs and Higgins. Jacobs and Higgins sneering at each other instead of nodding. Jacobs and Higgins, crossing the street instead of having to walk next to each other. Jacobs and Higgins, writing angry notes to each other instead of jokes about their substitute.

Davey and Race were gone, David and Anthony even more so.

Davey wasn’t the only friend he had lost in his life, but he was Davey. He had so many of Race’s firsts: the first person he came out to, the first person he got drunk with, his first kiss. The person that comforted him when he got his heart broken, the person that bandaged his knuckles when he got into fights.

Everything. He was everything.

The surprise in the grin Davey had sent him was burned into his mind. Could it be so simple? Could he heal their friendship by just…being nicer? Or would Davey think he was making fun of him, being cruel by being kind?

He supposed they should have that conversation they’d been avoiding, then.

~

He waited until everyone was gone before trying to talk to Davey.

“Hey, uh,” he coughed to clear his suddenly dry throat. “Can we talk?”

“I’m in the middle of cleaning up, can it wait?”

Race was about to nod and say it could, but he set his shoulders. He could do this.

“No, Davey, it can’t wait.” The use of his first name seemed to get Davey’s attention; it’d been over a year since he’d last used it, after all. There was something askance to awe in Davey’s eyes for a moment, before he shook his head.

“I’m listening, then.” He sat on the sofa and spread his arms.

Race took a moment to gather his thoughts.

“You broke my heart,” and that definitely wasn’t were he wanted to start this conversation. “I mean no, I mean, you did, but that’s not what I’m trying to say! Please don’t go!”

Davey paused in getting up when he heard the break in Race’s voice on the word ‘please’; he sat back down.

“I wanted to say I was sorry,” Race said. “For how I’ve treated you, for everything I’ve said. I’ve been unnecessarily mean, when I know I was just hurt.”

Davey tilted his head. “Hurt?”

Race began to explain, sitting next to him on the couch. He couldn’t help but notice this was the closest they’d sat for years. The words seemed to spill out, some in the right order and some not. Davey looked on the brink of running the entire time he was speaking.

“I just,” he finished. “I just miss you.”

“You -,” Davey whispered. “You miss me?”

He nodded. “I don’t know why we stopped being friends, but I’d like to start over.”

Davey paused. “I don’t think we can start over, there’s too much history.”

Race felt his heart drop. Of course Davey wouldn’t want to start over. He’d spent the last three years being cruel to him, he didn’t deserve -

“But maybe we can redo some things.” The 360 of emotions made Race dizzy. “I miss you too, Race.”

Race.

Race.

One simple word, four letters, but it took the breath from his lungs.

Race.

“I’d really like that.” He spat into his hand and suck it out for a handshake. Davey looked disgusted, which was something so familiar it ached.

“Really? We’re adults, Race.”

“It seals the deal, Dave. Playground politics.”

Davey rolled his eyes but spit into his hand and grasped Race’s. They stood there smiling stupidly at each other, hands clasped, until Dave swore and dragged Race into a hug.

Race had sworn he wouldn’t cry, but breathing in Davey’s familiar scent nearly broke him. They pulled apart, and he ignored Davey wiping tears from his eyes as Davey ignored him doing the same.

~

There was a shocked silence at Jacobi’s deli when Davey and Race walked in together. They were laughing over some asinine joke Race had made about Jojo and Elmer; good to know Davey will still laugh at his extremely unfunny jokes.

“Someone pinch me,” Albert yelled. “I think they’re…getting along? Are they laughing? Together?

Finch pinched them. They swore loudly, to which Finch just shrugged. “You told me to pinch you, babe. This relationship is based on trust, and you trusted me to pinch you. A Finch pinch.”

Elmer met Race’s eye and nod with the sweetest of grins (he couldn’t wait to make fun of Jojo for spilling a bit of the water he was setting in front of Elmer when he saw his grin).

Davey rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Would anyone like something extremely cheap off the menu?”

~

The next few months were full of Jacobs and Higgins becoming Davey and Race again. He was learning so many things about Davey that he’d missed, nuances that were similar but at the same time different. Davey wasn’t the boy he had known his whole life, but he wasn’t a stranger. It also helped they’d been living together all year.

“Tell me what’s going on with your family, then,” Race asked one day as Davey was making him peel potatoes. They’d started to cook together, something he secretly adored.

“Well, Les just started high school and Sarah just went of to college. University of Chicago.”

“You Jacobs sure are smart,” Race said, amazed. He whistled. “University of Chicago…and hell knows where you’ll go in two years, what fancy med school you choose.”

Davey blushed and asked Race about his own family. He let Davey get away with the very obvious change of topic. Glad to know he still hated talking about his intellect, though Race knew a lot of that was leftover anxiety caused by bullies in middle school; Davey the know-it-all Jacobs. Race felt his stomach clench as he remembered that he, too, had turned into that bully.

Still, they didn’t bring up the topic of why and how their friendship had ended.

~

“Where’s Davey, then?” Race sighed as he came in. He’d had a terrible few classes today, and he didn’t need this. “Please tell me he just left and that you haven’t made a copy of our key.”

“He has a date. We were just helping him get ready,” Blink said with a shit eating grin, though Race noticed he didn’t deny that he had made a copy of their key. In fact, there could possibly be a dozen copies, knowing his friends. “I think he’ll be home quite late, too.”

“Or maybe quite early,” Mush responded with a shit eating grin of his own. He flicked Blink on the eye and gestured towards the door.

Race listened to Blink call Mush an ableist piece of shit with a grin. Mush just shoved him and muttered something about a Nick Fury cosplay. Race didn’t fail to notice he grabbed Blink’s right hand, always making sure to be on his right side.

Race looked back to the book he had just pulled out for that stupid philosophy class he had to take. (He was majoring in mathematics why the hell did he need a philosophy class?) He put it back in his bag, knowing he wouldn’t be taking in a word of it.

A date. Race wondered for a moment about why that simple word felt like a knife to his -

Oh. 

Oh, Race.

He groaned into the silence of the empty apartment. Three months prior Race had looked back at their interactions and arguments through the lens of grief. Maybe it was time to analyze their interactions and arguments through even another keyhole.

There was still heartbreak, yes. But at the time, Race had only thought he was heartbroken because he’d lost his best friend. Now, he wasn’t so sure.

It probably wasn’t a normal thing to feel like half of your soul had been ripped away when your best friend stopped talking to you. It probably wasn’t a normal thing to still feel that way three years later.

The thought terrified him. He’d never been in love before, and the idea that he could be now scared the fuck out of him.

Breathlessness.

He had been breathless when he’d first hugged Davey after over three years. At the time he hadn’t thought anything of it, was too busy being happy that Davey had listened to him, had missed him as well. But looking back, that’s how Race had reacted to physical contact with Davey for years.

He’d blamed it all on his asthma, just a side affect of holding his breath every time they hugged, every time their hands brushed.

Oh, God. Who held their breath every time they hugged their best friend? Who purposefully brushed knuckles together, threw an arm around him every chance he got?

You’re an idiot, Anthony.

Racing heart.

Every time Davey made him laugh.

How much of his heart did he blame on his asthma? Of course every time you laugh you get breathless, your heart races. Purposefully ignoring the fact that no other friend caused such a reaction.

Sweaty palms.

“Ugh, Race, why are your hands so sweaty?” Albert had wiped their arms on their jeans, disgusted from simply having Race’s hands around their wrists.

“If you don’t like it then don’t try and steal my pretzels, asshole!”

Davey had had an arm tossed around the back of the sofa at the time, not even sitting next to Race but near enough that his fingers were brushing against his shoulder every time one of them moved.

Butterflies in your stomach.

The amount of times Davey had been smushed against his side during movie night, because they had too many fucking friends. Race had blamed it on the movie they were watching, nervousness because he hated horror films.

Desperation.

It’s not normal to want to be around a friend as much as Race wanted to be around Davey, was it? They were on their way back to best friends, but the stupid things he did to get Davey’s attention were so embarrassing he didn’t even want to think about it.

Desire.

It wasn’t just two bros psyching each other up, was it? When Davey were those jeans or that shirt or the few times he’s had to dress up to go to meetings, he wasn’t just telling a friend they looked nice, was he?

He’d never been in love; or had he always been love?

You’re a fucking idiot, Anthony Higgins.

~

Davey came home earlier than Race was expecting, looking dejected (he definitely wasn’t beaming inside that the date probably went poorly, nor was he checking Davey out)(not to say that he didn’t look good, because his shirt was tight around the biceps and made his eyes stand out and he was wearing those jeans).

Jesus H Christ, Higgins, how the hell did you not realize you were head over heels for this man?

“You okay, Race?” Davey looked worried now, seeing Race sitting in the dark because he hadn’t bothered to get up to turn the lights on during his crisis.

“Why did you stop being my friend?”  Race was suddenly desperate to know.

Davey flushed, and cleared his throat. “Must we do this now?”

“If not now, when, Davey?” Race had to know. If Davey had noticed how Race had felt about him, before Race even, and felt uncomfortable…if he had made Davey leave him because he couldn’t stop himself from loving this incredible, beautiful boy, he’d never be able to forgive himself.

“I,” Davey’s hands were shaking now. “I don’t want to make things weird.”

“Davey, I won’t judge you for anything you so,” Race assured him. “This won’t change anything. I’m sorry if I did anything that would - or if my feelings -”

“I didn’t want you to get uncomfortable,” he interjected. “I was - feeling things, about you, and - I just. Didn’t want you to hate me.”

Race was speechless. He’d been about to apologize for having feelings for Davey, yet Davey was apologizing for having feelings for him. Had he been so oblivious? Davey had liked him as well. And now it was too late, and he felt his heart break for the second time because of David Jacobs.

But Davey wasn’t done. They didn’t call him the Walking Mouth for nothing. “And I thought I could just ignore them, stop talking to you for a few weeks until it went away, but then weeks turned into months, turned into years - and it never really went away.”

Race had barely let Davey finish before he was near tackling him onto their sofa.

“I was terrified because I’ve never been in love, and I’ve fallen in love with you, but apparently I’ve always been in love, because I’ve loved you since before I knew what love was -”

Anthony “Racetrack” Higgins loved to talk; in fact, he did it too much. Half of the time it didn’t make any sense, and the other half it was too crass to repeat. Sometimes both.

David “Davey” Jacobs finally found a way to shut him up.

[maxvanna]

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[buttonsdavenport]

i came here to say that you are ADORABLE and SO CUTE but i looked closer and we? have the same phone case??? im YELLING

1) i know we’ve talked before but i still really love your blog and i just “ahgfgds” when you talk to me still 

2) THANK YOU AHHHH

3) yessss twinning! do you, like myself, have an lg phone or?

[starrysence]

BABY U KNOW ID DIE FOR U RIGHT!!!!!!!!!

and i...... would do the same for u.

I LOVE U SO MUCH 💞💞💞💞💞

[pilferingapples]

@vapaus-ystavyys-tasaarvo replied to your post “firebird-and-pegasus: auspicioustarantula: genuine question why does...”

To be fair, Enjolras does seem to have a bit of a soft spot for Marius, like staying with him after Combeferre verbally destroys him and thinking of him as his first option of someone to go to the barrière du maine

“This is my OC  Vi-- uh.. Marius... Pontmercy, and he has VERY fashionable curly dark hair and passionate nostrils and SUCH a good forehead and he’s so hot , like 9/10, and girls all swoon and he’s so badass in a fight like you don’t even know, he can learn ANY language in like TWO WEEKS even English which is a terrible language,and he’s very good with money and he TOTALLY wrote that preface and ENJOLRAS THINKS HE’S COOL so there”

[sleepylevii]

introduction!

hello all!! my name is juls, i am 18 & i am semi-new to aot (beginning of s3) but i am in LOVE LOVE w the show & i am looking for new accounts to follow! i’m interested in character (not reader-insert) fanfics in both canon and modern aus and fanart! i’m also up for just chatting abt the show or life in general!! you can also find me on @auspicioustarantula (not active but hopefully i will get back on there again 😩) 

hope to see you all in my inbox/messages soon!! just give a rb/comment & i will follow:)

[anon-pancake]

IT DOES OMG

YA BITCH LEARNED HOW TO TIE A TIE!!!!!!

[thefactsofthematter]

kath.. one true angst god.... may we please have some modern au javid angst that's not just the same "davey has a panic attack" fic that i swear is all this fandom knows how to write? thank u ma'am

ask and you shall receive..... this is something a lil different but very heavy and angsty.. i’m back in my groove baby!!

WARNING - this fic is about drug abuse so if that’s gonna bring up some icky feelings, play it safe and just don’t read it, i won’t mind

-

"So the funny part is..."

Jack trails off for a moment, trying to think of what's actually so funny. Shooting up in the bathroom, with hands so shaky he could hardly even get the needle in his arm— it's sad, really. This isn't actually very funny at all.

"What's funny, Jack?" asks Davey, his voice wavering like he's so mad he can't even control it. "What the hell is funny about this?"

Jack swallows and looks down at the bruises and tiny round scars on his arms— all by his own hand. This isn't funny.

"Never mind," he mumbles. The initial rush of the injection is wearing off into a pleasant high, but he can't even enjoy it with Davey staring at him like that, all broken-hearted.

"No, Jack," continues Davey, stepping closer to Jack and grabbing him by the front of the shirt. "I want to know. Tell me what you think is fucking funny."

Jack can't help the laugh that bubbles out of him. He doesn't mean to, but Davey never gets mad, so seeing him like this is new and sort of entertaining. He knows Davey would never hurt him, so it's almost amusing that he's getting aggressive. Jack giggles and tries to worm his way out of Davey's grasp, just to see what would happen.

"You're strong," he comments when Davey's grip on him only tightens as he moves. He fights the grip a little harder— enough to scare Davey somehow, make him panic and shove him as hard as he can, sending Jack tumbling into the empty bathtub. He laughs hard as he lands, quite sure he's going to have some sick bruises on his elbows and ass from how he'd tried and failed to catch himself, but not really able to feel the pain right now.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" yells Davey, now towering over Jack and almost managing to look intimidating. "I thought you were done with this shit! You were clean for so long, and now this!? What did you even shoot!?"

It takes Jack a second to process the question, but he eventually points to the needle, elastic band, cotton ball, lighter and spoon on the counter.

"What's it look like? Fuckin'... smack. H. The good stuff."

This seems to piss Davey off more than Jack had anticipated. At least he's being honest— lying would only make things worse.

"God damn it," groans Davey, now pacing around the bathroom, seemingly unable to even look at Jack. "You have to be kidding me. Heroin. Of all fucking things..." He turns back around to Jack with tears welling in his eyes that he's clearly trying to hold back. He pauses for a moment and scrubs a hand over his face with a sigh. "How long, Jackie? How long have you been back on this shit?"

The fact that Davey is crying is like a punch in the gut. Jack is well aware he shouldn't have started again— he'd been four years clean and so goddamn proud of himself— but then his mental health had started going to shit again and he couldn't afford meds for anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder all at once, but he did know a guy who could link up cheap drugs that could make him feel just as good. And now here he is— high as a kite, laying in his bathtub, and his husband is crying over his stupid mistakes.

"About a month," he finally replies. He'd been good at hiding it too— years of secret addiction as a teenager and young adult had left him well-practiced. "I... I'm sorry."

He's almost glad he's been caught. If it were just him, on his own, Jack would probably just keep shooting up until it killed him somehow. But with Davey here, and so angry at him, he has to stop. Davey is mad and that's all that matters— making Davey happy is one of the most important things to Jack.

In some weird, convoluted way, that's almost why he'd started using again. When he gets crazy and bipolar without his medication, it puts a wedge in their relationship and gets Davey upset. So if Jack could just manage his symptoms himself, they'd be okay and Davey would be happy. That's how it was supposed to work— but now Jack is just back to being the deadbeat drug addict that Davey doesn't deserve to be stuck dealing with.

Damn it. Nothing ever seems to work out quite right for Jack Kelly.

-

The next thing Jack can recall is waking up in bed with his body on fire.

Everything is burning. He's on fire, his skin is melting, and the pain is unbearable. He screams at the top of his lungs.

Davey hardly even looks phased, as he arrives to Jack's bedside in an instant.

"You're okay," he whispers, like he's done this a million times before. Jack can barely hear him as he writhes in bed, screaming again but muffling it with the pillow that he presses against his face. "You're still coming down, Jackie. It'll go away eventually, we just have to wait it out."

Jack is sobbing before he even realizes it. He reaches desperately for Davey's hands and squeezes.

"I need a hit," he groans, his voice hoarse and wet with tears. "Please. Make it stop— it hurts. It hurts. You gotta— I'm so sorry, Davey! You gotta help me. Please, just one hit. Please, please."

Davey does nothing more than shush him and carefully climb onto the bed to hold him gently. Jack wants to move— it feels like every cell in his body wants to go in a different direction all at once and he's stuck in the middle of it, shaking and unable to hold still— but at the same time, he wants nothing more than to sleep and make this horrible feeling go away.

"I love you," whines Jack, turning so that he can cry into Davey's chest instead of the pillow. He's shaking with that god-awful craving that he's come to know too well and his skin is literally on fire. "You have to help me, please. I could— I can snort it, so it's not as strong. Only one line. Would... would you still love me if I did a line? Only one, Davey. I have to make it stop."

"I'll love you no matter what baby," sighs Davey, and he sounds so exhausted that it breaks Jack's heart. "But I know you can sober up for me all on your own. You don't need any drugs. This is just a bad craving, and it's gonna go away all by itself. I talked to your doctor, and he says you'll be okay if we just let it all pass. You've done this before."

Jack sobs again and the only thing that makes him feel okay is Davey’s hand rubbing up and down his back.

He has done this before. And it was horrible, some of the worst moments of his life, but he did it. He did it with Davey's help and they were okay. He was okay. He got better and they got married— they were gonna start a family.

Maybe they still can. Maybe if Jack gets good and sober and proves that he's more than just the worthless junkie that Davey's parents still just pretend not to hate, they can still do everything they planned.

"I'm okay," whispers Jack, as the burning in his body slowly starts to ease off and he feels like he might be able to fall asleep again. He grips Davey's shirt in his sweaty, shaking hands and just holds on tight. "I love you. I love you so much. You're my everything, Davey, I love you."

And he means it.

-

@landlessbud @eponinemylove @i-got-personality @alovelymoonbeam @penzyroamin @graceful-popcorn @auspicioustarantula @orollyitsracetrackhiggins @backgroundensemble @magimerlyn @myheartissetinmotion @papesdontsellthemselves @supremebesson @aw-jus-let-em-try @big-potato-asshole @stop-the-presses @starrysence @wilde-guess @never-fear-brooklyns-here @fandom-fangirl07 @theresagoodchanceicouldfly @dying-poet @asphodelnerd @agressive-cinnamon-roll @daveysexual @soft-colors-and-such

[thecoveys]

ravey....headcanins......🅱lease

Request something?

I will try my very best!! we stan Ravey here on this blog.

Davey has 250% chill, and Race has, like, 2% chill

Most of the time Davey just watches his boyfriend go off on rants with THE most fond look on his face

All it takes to get Race to chill out for a bit is one (1) kiss on the cheek

They’re the ultimate cuddle bugs okay don’t @ me

I still stand by the fact that Race is the big spoon

They prefer cuddling facing each other and don’t really spoon that often, though

Davey loves combing his fingers through Race’s hair

“You’re gonna pull all my hair out at one point,” Race mumbled, half asleep, as his boyfriend ran his fingers through his hair. “Shut up. If anything, I’m making it even softer,” Davey chuckled in response.

Neck kisses has Davey weak as hell

They’re almost always holding hands or touching in some way

Race L O V E S sitting in Davey’s lap

They get weirdly competitive at times ???

Race is really eager and wants things to happen as quickly as possible, but Davey always holds back on the kisses, whispering to him: “relax, we’ve got nowhere to be” before kissing him slowly and deeply

Race just melts right then and there

Petnames gALORE ohmYGOD

Davey mostly calls Race “babe” or “baby”, and Race calls Davey “sweetheart” most of the time

They both try to deny that they use petnames like that, though

(g u y s, we all know ok???)

Davey seriously cannot believe he landed a catch like Race

Sometimes he just looks at him like “holy shit, this idiot is actually mine”

And then he just has to hug him or kiss him

They love each other sO MUCH

[catboygretzky]

72 with almer? my sweet darling,

helllloooo yes of course very short very cute (also i’m using the ‘ur cute when ur angry’ in another fic but shrug emoji)

72) When One Person’s Face Is Scrunched Up, And The Other One Kisses Their Lips/Nose/Forehead 

“You’re cute when you’re angry.”

And Elmer wasn’t wrong. When Albert was angry his nose scrunched up on one side; it was precious. Like a wet kitten.

Race had done - something. God knows what, but Albert was mad as hell.

“I’m cute when I’m angry? I’m about to get fucking adorable, then.”

“Ooor...” Elmer responds. “We could let Race face the wrath of Davey’s ‘I’m disappointed in you’ face and eat this nice meal I prepared?”

Albert visibly deflates, though his nose is still slightly scrunched. “Those are some brutal ‘you can do better and we both know it’ eyes.”

Elmer cheers and kisses his scrunched up nose multiple times until it relaxes.

[tea-and-theater]

The Returning Kazoo

“OH, COME ALL YE FAITHFUL!” Romeo screeched as Race played along on his kazoo.

“Whyyyyy?” Jack whined. Jack had tried to get rid of Race’s kazoo ten times in the last year, but it always managed to find its way back into Race’s hand, completely undamaged, even when Jack had thrown it under a carriage and watched the horse crush it under its hooves. That night, Race had woken Jack up at midnight with a completely undamaged kazoo.

Moon chuckled. One thing she did enjoy about the holidays was the boy’s attempts at celebrating them, even with their limited budgets. Besides, listening to everyone torture Jack was always fun. That’s probably why everyone always pitched in to buy Race another kazoo whenever Jack would manage to get rid of one, even though they knew they would be awoken far too early because of it.

One thing she had learned about the boys was their amazing ability to raise each other’s spirits, no matter how many others living in tenements went insane. If holidays were about family, then every day was a holiday at the lodging house.

Taglist & author’s note under cut:

So I wrote this for Newsies OC Week and yeah

Prompt was music at the holidays and my brain instantly jumped to a kazoo

good times

Hmu to be added to my taglist 

Taglist:

@lunatella

@auspicioustarantula

@lottedechangy

@neko-kaiyo

@crutchie-has-sceized-the-day

@newsiesocweek

[backgroundensemble]

Javid Victorian Aesthetic

For @auspicioustarantula ;)

[starrysence]

the thunderstorm fic

heyooo i am back kind of with a lil ralbert piece to get back into the writing spirit! hope u enjoy! the fic will be under the keep reading link :D word count is somewhere around 1k and i didnt proofread this bc we die like men. also its a modern au cause i can 

tw for astraphobia (fear of thunderstorms) bc thats what this fic is centered around. 

the searing white flash of lightning that makes the rapidly falling raindrops visible is enough to alert race as to what will come next; he’ll never admit it, but he immediately begins to tremble, using every ounce of his energy not to move his hands up to cover his ears and muffle the rumble of thunder. albert, who’s been sitting beside him for the better part of four hours to work on a project they’re partners for, takes notice of race’s sudden shaking and frowns.

“you alright, racer?”

race looks at him; albert, albie, al, his best friend, the guy he’s in love with (even though he’s still a little hesitant about admitting that part), and even though the answer to the question is initially no, looking at him does make race feel a little alright. just a little. he thinks about how this - his fear of thunder - is the only thing he’s never told albert about. it’s the one thing he feels too ashamed of to share with albert, but he’s always figured it’s not a big deal; albert wouldn’t ever have to know, right?

well, considering their current circumstances… maybe race has to rethink that one.

“yeah,” he croaks, almost flinching at how small his voice sounds. “yeah, al, i’m good.”

albert raises an eyebrow, and race knows he’s already lost this one.

“you sure? you don’t sound too sure of yourself an’ you’re, like, shaking right now.”

“dammit, albie.” race chuckles, attempting to downplay just how scared he really feels. the attempt fails as his voice quivers about halfway through the first word, and he wants to cry. but he doesn’t. “why d’you have to be so observant?”

“i’m not observant, tonio,” albert responds with a soft smile. “you’re my best friend, of course i’ll know when something’s up with you. i’ve known you long enough to notice when you’re not bein’ totally honest with me about somethin’. now, what’s the matter?”

race falls silent. he knows there’s no escaping this conversation, but he wants to try and avoid it for as long as he can. 

"race."

he sighs in defeat. he managed to successfully avoid it for a total of less than two minutes.

"promise you won't make fun of me," race says; he tries his hardest to make his voice firm and steady, but it comes out as a shaky, scared whisper. he feels weak. vulnerable. afraid. he doesn't think his shaking can get any worse but in that moment it does and it makes him feel so pathetic and helpless and suddenly he's trying to make sure his breathing is steady and his vision is clear.

in a second albert is by his side, gripping his hand and wrapping an arm around his shoulder, holding him close. he knows race likes the touch, and race is so glad he just knows because he thinks that if he had to speak another word he would start crying. 

"of course i promise not to make fun of you… whatever's got you scared this bad ain't somethin' i'll ever make fun of you for, tonio. you know, i'm sorry for pushing in the first place… you don't have to tell me if it's too hard for you." albert's voice is soft, his tone sincere, and race wonders how he got lucky enough to have a best friend like this.

"i wanna tell you, it's just… hard." race's voice softens more and more as he speaks, ending up as a whisper. 

albert nods. "i get that, racer. just… tell me when you're ready."

"yeah… yeah. thanks, al."

a silence falls among the rather small bedroom, but neither of them really mind; it’s that same, familiar comfortable silence that occurs in the few moments when they don’t have anything to talk about.

“do you remember when we met for the first time?”

race looks up at albert, surprised, and blinks. “i guess, yeah… what about it?”

“i just think it’s crazy, you know...” a small smile starts to form on albert’s face, and race can’t help thinking about how much he wants to see that smile all the time every day, how much he wants to kiss those lips. “how it all began, i mean, and then there’s where we are now. when you sat down next to me on the first day of school in second grade and started rambling on and on about how cool you thought stars were, i immediately wanted you to be one of my friends forever. you were the first person to talk to me that year, which was huge to me ‘cause-”

“you’d just moved into the area,” race interrupts softly. the storm is still going on outside, and it shows no signs of quieting down any time soon, and race still feels himself trembling, but this helps; talking helps. touch helps. he helps. albert helps. 

“yeah.” there’s a full smile on albert’s face now, and it makes race want to smile, too, but all he can manage is a small upturn of his lips. “and now we’re here, and i love how it is and i love you and i wouldn’t trade this for- for anything in the world.”

the world seems to still in that moment. time stops, noise quiets, everything fades away until it’s just the two of them. race is aware of how cheesy this all sounds in his head, but he can’t bring himself to care.

it was those three words, he knows it was. they've been saying those words to each other for so long; in quick, fleeting moments, in long, heartfelt talks. 

"can you stay the night?" race whispers. 

"'course i can," albert responds in a soft tone. 

“thank you, albie. i love you.”

“and i love you, tonio. always.”

---

i wanted to fit race telling al abt why he’s scared into this but i couldnt find a way to do that without rewriting basically the whole thing, and i love what i have so i didnt want to do that.

long story short… anyone want a lil part 2? :)

-sanj <3

tag list:

@one-candy-cane-please | @suddenly-im-respecsable | @intoomanyfandomstopickaname | @be-more-chill-evan-hansen | @aw-jus-let-em-try | @getchapapes | @well-the-kids-do-too | @auspicioustarantula | @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn | @have-we-got-news-for-you | @not-a-scab | @pineappapizza | @andthewoildwillknow | @concrete--donuts | @stopthe-presses | @thomasbeingthomas | @i-love-loki-and-sherlock | @maxvanna | @spot-me50-papes | @and-i-lostmy-shoe | @i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing | @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog | @backgroundensemble | @ridin-in-style | @sunshine-e-cigarettes | @macaroni-0verlord | @probablyeunoia | @thebroadwayaesthetic | @how-bout-a-crookedpolitician | @fellthroughableedingtrapdoor | @awkwardstranger98 | @bxnesof92 | @papesdontsellthemselves

[if you want to be added to my tag list, please shoot me an ask or a message letting me know! i’d be happy to add you!]