#augh is this is different from what I usually write

[koiukiy-o]

orphic; (adj.) mysterious and entrancing, beyond ordinary understanding. ─── 002. the assignment.

-> summary: when you, a final-year student at the grove, get assigned to study under anaxagoras—one of the legendary seven sages—you know things are about to get interesting. but as the weeks go by, the line between correlation and causation starts to blur, and the more time you spend with professor anaxagoras, the more drawn to him you become in ways you never expected. the rules of the academy are clear, and the risks are an unfortunate possibility, but curiosity is a dangerous thing. and maybe, just maybe, some risks are worth taking. after all, isn’t every great discovery just a leap of faith? -> pairing: anaxa x gn!reader. -> tropes: professor x student, slow burn, forbidden romance. -> wc: 1.9k -> warnings: potential hsr spoilers from TB mission: "Light Slips the Gate, Shadow Greets the Throne" (3.1 update). main character is written to be 21+ years of age, at the very least. (anaxa is written to be around 26-27 years of age.) swearing, mature themes, suggestive content.

-> a/n: chapter twooooo oh my god im so excited for this chapter AUGH IT FELT SO GOOD writing this !! this is when things get GOOOODDDD and im ao HUHUHUHUHU to hear yalls thoughts!! hehe. i hope you like it! <3 -> prev. || next. -> orphic; the masterlist.

You don’t expect to see him here.

The planetarium is dimly lit, the soft glow of projected constellations swirling lazily across the domed ceiling. You hadn’t planned on coming—it was a last-minute decision. Yet, the vastness of space, even simulated, has always steadied you.

But then—

"Of course."

The voice, low and wry, edged with dry amusement, is unmistakable.

You turn.

Anaxagoras is standing just a few feet away, hands clasped behind his back, his dark eyes reflecting the cosmic sprawl above. He isn’t wearing his usual academic robes—just a simple, well-fitted dark tunic beneath a long coat, the fabric settling neatly against his frame. He looks different like this. Less like a scholar. More like—

Well. More like a man. 

"I didn’t take you for a stargazer," he says, voice measured, gaze still fixed on the cosmos above.

You cross your arms, raising an eyebrow. "I could say the same about you, professor."

The corner of his mouth twitches. "I do prefer the certainties of physics over the whims of celestial bodies."

"Ah," you hum. "So no fate, no destiny. Just equations and probability."

"Precisely." His gaze flickers up, tracking the slow rotation of the star map. "Though I will admit, there’s a certain poetry to the illusion of it all."

You glance up as well. Orion looms overhead, his belt gleaming sharp and clear. "Illusion?"

"These constellations," Anaxagoras murmurs. "They don't exist as we see them. Stars scattered across thousands of light-years, their arrangement nothing but a trick of perspective. We only think they belong together because of our vantage point." He says, after a pause, “The human mind imposes meaning where there is none.”

Your lips curl. "That’s kind of sad."

He tilts his head. "Is it?"

"Yeah," you say, watching the artificial night swirl overhead. "Thinking you're part of something greater, only to realize it's all a trick of perspective."

For a moment, he says nothing. Just watches you, thoughtful. Then—

"Perhaps," he concedes. "But perspective is all we have."

You glance at him again, but his expression is unreadable. 

There’s always been a distance to him that he maintains… almost religiously.

The hush of the planetarium stretches between you, the weight of his regard heavy. You’re not sure what it is that makes your skin feel so warm, your breath so shallow.

So you do what you do best. You challenge him.

"If constellations are an illusion," you say, "then what of all the truths we believe to perceive?"

His head turns slightly, his gaze locking onto yours.

You don’t look away.

"We only think things are connected because of our vantage point," you continue, your voice quieter now. "So how do we know if any of it actually means anything?"

Another beat of silence. Then, slow and deliberate, he says—

"We don’t."

Your chest tightens, though you don’t know why.

For a moment, it feels like that’s the end of it. Like you’ll both turn away and let the conversation dissolve into the simulated cosmos above.

But then—

Anaxagoras steps closer.

Not much. Barely enough to notice. But enough that when he speaks again, his voice is lower. Measured.

"We don’t," he repeats, as if the weight of it matters. "But sometimes, it’s worth entertaining the illusion."

You don’t know what to say to that.

You’re early to class.

Not by much, but enough to claim your usual seat and settle in before the lecture hall fills. Enough to shake off the strange tension that’s been humming beneath your skin since the planetarium.

You tell yourself it was nothing. A conversation wrapped in stardust and metaphor, just another verbal sparring match. Anaxagoras challenged you. That’s all.

But it lingers.

It lingers in the way your heartbeat picked up when he stepped closer. In the way his words—so measured, so precise—felt heavier than they should have. In the way his gaze held yours just a fraction too long, as if entertaining the illusion wasn’t just about the stars.

You exhale, flipping open your notebook. Focus.

The room fills, a murmur of voices, the scrape of chairs against stone. Then, just as the hour strikes, he enters.

Anaxagoras walks with the same deliberate grace he always does, his robes sweeping behind him. But today, as his eyes scan the lecture hall, they pause. Just briefly.

On you.

Something flickers across his expression—gone before you can name it. Then he looks away, moving towards the podium.

"Good morning," he says, voice smooth, effortlessly commanding. "Let’s begin."

You should be taking notes. You should be focused on the equations he’s sketching onto the board, the elegant arc of chalk gliding across the surface. Instead, you remember his voice in the dark, low and certain—

"Sometimes, it’s worth entertaining the illusion."

Damn him.

You press your pen to the paper, forcing your attention forward.

"Consider the nature of causality," Anaxagoras continues, turning back to face the class. "An event—any event—can be traced backward through a series of causes. But the perception of these events is often subject to our vantage point."

A pause. Then his gaze flickers to you, deliberate.

"One might argue that meaning is an emergent property. That cause and effect are simply the mind’s way of drawing constellations between unrelated points."

Your fingers tighten around your pen.

Is he—?

No. No, you’re imagining things. He’s lecturing. That’s all.

And yet.

His gaze lingers a beat too long before he looks away, continuing as if nothing happened. As if he didn’t just lace the entire moment with subtext so thick it might as well be its own theorem.

Your pulse is ridiculous. You need to get a grip.

The lecture moves on, but now you’re watching him differently. Not just listening, but observing. The way he gestures, the way his mind moves faster than his words, the way his lips quirk slightly when a student offers an answer that surprises him.

You’ve spent weeks admiring Anaxagoras for his intellect. Respecting him as a professor. Arguing with him for the sake of curiosity.

And...

Well, there'a no point dwelling on it, is there?

By the time the lecture is nearing its end, you’ve barely written anything coherent.

Your notes are a scattered mess—half physics, half what the hell is going on? The worst part? Anaxagoras knows. He hasn’t called on you once today, which is unusual. He always prods, always challenges. But today, he’s let you stew in your thoughts, like he’s letting you chase your own tail. 

Infuriating man.

"Before we conclude," he says, dusting chalk from his fingertips, "your next individual assignment."

The room collectively stiffens.

Anaxagoras turns from the board, his gaze sweeping over the lecture hall. Ilias straightens immediately, feigning deep intellectual engagement. You suppress a smile.

"As we’ve explored, physics attempts to model reality through observable forces," Anaxagoras continues. "But what of the forces we cannot measure? What of the unseen variables?"

Ilias perks up at that, intrigued. "Is he finally acknowledging my suffering?"

You elbow him. "Shut up, he’s setting up the assignment."

"Your task," he continues, "is to examine a concept often deemed metaphysical—fate, intuition, divine intervention—" He lifts his gaze, letting the weight of his words settle. "And construct a framework to explain its existence. Or—" his voice sharpens— "prove its impossibility."

A murmur ripples through the students. Anaxagoras doesn’t tolerate pseudo-science in his lectures, so the fact that he’s even entertaining this angle is unexpected.

It’s a trap, and everyone knows it. He’s handing you something abstract, intangible, and expecting you to apply cold logic to it. A thought experiment designed to test whether you’ll break under paradox or force the universe to make sense.

You listen, absorbed—until Ilias leans in again, whispering, "If I were to quantify the force that compels me to sleep in class instead of studying, do you think he’d accept it?"

You stifle a laugh. "I think he’d call it laziness and fail you on principle."

"Damn. Guess I’ll have to go with my second option."

"Which is?"

He grins. "Manifesting an equation that proves I am, in fact, always right."

You shake your head, biting back a laugh. "I’d pay to see you argue that with him."

As if on cue, Anaxagoras glances your way, sharp-eyed.

"Would either of you care to share your insights with the class?"

Ilias, ever the survivalist, doesn’t miss a beat. "We are discussing emergent properties of intelligence, professor."

Anaxagoras arches a brow, unimpressed. "A phenomenon you’ve yet to personally demonstrate."

The class chuckles. You shoot Ilias a look.

"Walked right into that one," you murmur.

Ilias sighs. "Yeah. That’s on me."

His gaze sweeps the class. "You may choose any concept, but your reasoning must be sound. Sentimentality will not be rewarded."

A collective groan. Someone mutters something about dropping the course.

You, however, are too focused on the way he’s looking at you.

He knows you’ll take this further than anyone else. He wants you to.

Then—

"Stay after class," he says smoothly, as if it’s nothing. "I need a word."

You feel the shift immediately. A few students glance between you and him, intrigued. You school your expression, pretending it doesn’t affect you.

"Yes, professor." you say.

He nods, then dismisses the class.

Chairs scrape against the floor. Students file out, some grumbling about the assignment, others already debating what concept they’ll choose. Someone lingers near the door for a second too long, clearly hoping to eavesdrop, before sighing and leaving.

Then it’s just you and him.

Anaxagoras exhales softly, rolling the stiffness from his shoulders before turning to face you fully.

"I’m altering your assignment," he says.

You blink. "What? Why?"

His lips quirk slightly, but there’s something intent in his eyes. "Because the standard prompt is beneath your abilities."

You swallow. He says it like it’s obvious. Like he’s been paying attention.

"Your mind doesn’t just follow logic," he continues. "It challenges it. So I’m giving you something worthy of that."

You exhale, half-exasperated. "Fine. What’s the twist?"

Instead of answering right away, he steps past you, picks up a book from his desk, and flips it open. When he finds the page he’s looking for, he turns it toward you.

It’s a diagram. A branching structure of choices, converging and diverging like neural pathways.

"Your peers will be arguing for or against metaphysical forces." His voice is measured. "You, however, will go one step further."

He closes the book, meeting your gaze.

"Instead of proving or disproving their existence, I want you to model one."

Your breath catches.

"What?"

His smirk is subtle, but there. "You heard me."

"You want me to… what, exactly? Build a mathematical model for something physics doesn’t even acknowledge?"

"Why not?" he challenges. "If intuition exists, quantify its mechanism. If destiny is real, define its parameters. If the soul endures, find the equation that governs it."

Your fingers twitch at that.

That’s—

That’s significantly more difficult than the original prompt. You’d have to rethink everything from the ground up. 

The soul?

You exhale sharply, shaking your head. "You really don’t like making my life easy, do you?"

His smirk deepens. "Where’s the fun in easy?"

You hate that he’s right.

And worse—you hate that you like that he knows you well enough to give you something harder. Something that will actually make you think.

Your pulse is an uneven rhythm as you meet his gaze. "Alright," you say.

He nods once, satisfied. "Good."

For a moment, neither of you move.

"You’re dismissed," he says, voice softer.

You hesitate. Then turn, heading toward the door.

Just as you step through the threshold, his voice reaches you, quiet but deliberate.

"Don’t disappoint me."

You don’t look back.

But you do smile.

-> next.

taglist: @starglitterz @kazumist @naraven @cozyunderworld @pinksaiyans @pearlm00n @your-sleeparalysisdem0n @francisnyx @qwnelisa @chessitune @leafythat @cursedneuvillette @hanakokunzz @nellqzz @ladymothbeth @chokifandom (send an ask or comment to be added!)

[lizdive]

saw ur inbox is open so i jumped right into the opportunity 🤭 just recently discovered ur blog and AUGH i love your writing!! the lack of platonic stuff is a CRIME.. 💔

could i request something with aventurine being an older (adoptive) brother to teen reader? if you want some extra lore, the ipc basically found the reader and wanted to use their powers for themselves cuz theyre like- crazy op- 😭 (reincarnation of an aeon typa shit) so they placed the reader into aventurine's care bcuz he was the only person they weren't hostile towards-

SORRY THIS GOT A LITTLE LONG ?! you don't need to use the extra lore if you dont want to btw! i just put it there :3

can be either hcs or a oneshot/drabble, u can choose!! >_<

please and thank u!!!! (ゝω・´★)

YOU’RE SO SWEET YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME ILUSM ☹️🩷🤍 Aventurine is my everything I love when people send me reqs about him he’s never left my team since I’ve gotten him 😭 ALSO I LOVE THE EXTRA LORE I LOVE UR BRAIN LEMME KISS IT MWAH 💋 tysm for requesting <33 if you’re unsatisfied just tell me and i’ll redo this 🫶

notes 𐙚 gender-neutral reader — "you" + "they/them" used to refer to the reader ,, reader is a teenager but is implied to be ancient ,, reader is implied to be a part of tayzzyronth — aeon of the propagation — and can be up for interpretation, however they do have swarm abilities ,, i did some research on tayzzyronth however there may be things that are not accurate or do not align with canon as tayzzyronth and the swarm is very confusing ,, reader grows a hatred for qlipoth — aeon of the preservation and their followers aka the ipc ,, platonic relationships ,, ipc activities as usual ,, penacony mission at the end ,, i feel like i derived from og request i’m sososo sorry ,, ending is cringe ngl ,, this is not proofread so ignore typos

Bugs, insects, flies — you do not know what these creatures are referred to as. You do not know of their origin, and you do not know if you are one of them taking a different form. They treat you as if you are one of them and protect you like you are their ruler.

The planet you reside on is dark. There is no other being except for these creatures that swarm you like you are their creator and their savior. You rarely move. Your cheek has grown accustomed to the cracked grounds of this wasteland as you slumber for periods of time you know not the length of. It is gray, yet you sometimes spot the colorful liquid that leaves their bodies as they succumb to the eternal slumber you sometimes seek.

There is no coldness and there is no hotness — you are always warm. They blanket you with their wings and speak to you in a language you have learned to understand.

"The followers of Qlipoth are coming!" they would say, and yet you did not know who they spoke of. The concept of beings existing that are not you or the insects that flutter about bringing you sustenance and company is foreign, and your young mind cannot comprehend it without physical proof. You assume they jest as they always do to try and humor you, and so you do not acknowledge their warnings.

"The followers of Qlipoth have come, you must leave!" And yet you chose to remain on the cracked grounds that have filled your sight for the many years you have lived. You chose to remain under their wings which shielded you as they fought against Qlipoth’s devout to keep them away from your form.

They are weak, you convince yourself, as you hear the shrieks of your swarm. They are weak, you convince yourself, as you hear the loud explosions which cause the frail floors to crack more and more. They are weak, you convince yourself, as you hold a baby bug in your arms like a toy to sooth the bubbling feeling of fear which is so foreign to you.

They are not weak, you realize, as you feel their hands pull at you from beneath the pile of dead creatures, doing their best to fight off the hallucinations from their wings.

These people — the followers of Qlipoth — are enemies. They do not deserve what the insects would call 'mercy'. The chains which cling to some of your joints barely hold you back as you scream at them in what sounds to them like gibberish. Your body is weak from the lack of movement, yet what you consider weakness is considered as strength that was once unattainable to them.

"If I didn’t know of the swarm I’d assume they were an abomination of the abundance," a woman speaks, yet her words mean nothing to you for you cannot understand them. You do not know who spoke, and you do not care. They are all enemies, and this 'Qlipoth' that they follow will be struck down by your own hands one day. They follow this being and therefor this being is the one to order them to do such horrendous acts.

You make an attempt to flutter the thin wings that decorate your back but they feel heavy. You look back and find them to be hidden away and chained. You do not feel the pain, but perhaps it is just the adrenaline rushing through you.

"Did you really have to cover them up like that?" "The workers said that they were hallucinating, we couldn’t risk it."

A gloved hand is placed in front of you. There is nothing in it. The golden rings shine under the lighting of the room you are in. The shimmer is new to your eyes and makes you squint from the reflecting light. You are used to the dullness of your 'home' planet, so when you look up to properly face the man who seems innocent enough, you recoil at the brightness off his appearance.

The many layers of clothes he adorns makes you curious. You do not wear much, only enough to properly cover you. The insects would keep you warm. Yet he wears so much — so many layers of attire made from materials you didn’t even know existed.

Your rage and hostility is pacified with curiosity, and that makes his smile a bit more genuine. He brings a hand to your head, and you’re ready to tear him to shreds should he try anything, but he only pets you gently. It reminds you of when the insects would nudge your head whenever they wanted you to wake up.

The sense of familiarity makes your eyes water but you do not shed the tears. You don’t like how they blind your sight and you blink rapidly to make them go away. The man clad in bright colors says something, but you once again can’t understand him.

But when the suffocating chains no longer cling to your tender skin, you understand that he is safe like those that cared for you and he is trying to comfort you. It works.

The man is named Aventurine — he repeated it constantly until you finally said it, albeit with the accent of a toddler. Still, he praised you. When he smiled and pat your head, you felt happy. It was a good thing.

You follow Aventurine around. He is the only one you have familiarized yourself with. He gets frightened by the swarm that follows you, so you scold them whenever they show themselves unannounced. You do not want him to leave you — you’ve noticed it happens a lot as you are exposed to human beings. He tells you he won’t leave you, how you’re his responsibility now.

You only understand a little bit of what he speaks, but you want to learn more to get more head pats and praise. The language they use is very foreign and requires much more effort to sound out the words as well as memorizing the symbols they write with. It is a lot of effort, but Aventurine is very encouraging.

Aventurine is nice. He is patient. He is understanding. He is helpful. You have been told that the one who has given you your strength was born from loneliness, but if that was the case, them shouldn’t your abilities be gone by now? Because with Aventurine, you do not feel lonely.

You want to tell him this, and one day you will. But for now, you’ll sit in his office, dressed in the nice clothing he has bought for you, and continue to practice your speech and writing.

You do not like leaving his office, because Qlipoth’s devout will then try to talk to you. You have tried many times to send your swarm after them, and you have succeeded many times, but Aventurine always scolds you. You do not like it when he scolds you. It’s a bad thing.

He tries to get you accustomed to human society. It is hard, especially because the human society he tries to make you interact with is filled with Qlipoth’s followers, but for him, you will try.

For him, you will listen to them as they order you to send your swarm to terrorize planets littered with precious material. For him, you will listen to them as blood stains your hands — blood which is not yours. For him, you will allow others to call you a monster which he reassures you that you aren’t.

For him, you will let yourself become the tool Qlipoth’s devout want you to become.

Something you have noticed and have been taught about human society is the concept that is family. You have heard the term many times, especially on this planet called Penacony. The main heads of this big hotel are called The Family. The head of The Family is the brother of his sister. You make sure to remember that.

Aventurine tells you to keep your features hidden as well as your little swarm bug which you brought with you, and you do not protest. The hotel is big, perfect for your insect friend to flutter about freely. Your hand clings to Aventurine’s coat, a habit you have picked up on. When you cling to him, people talk to him first. You don’t know why, but you do not care because it has yet to fail you.

You do not pay attention to the woman at the front desk. She speaks too fast for you to properly comprehend her words, anyways. You take note of the people around. There is nobody adorning the familiar uniform of Qlipoth’s followers, much to your relief. You tug on Aventurine’s coat, looking at him.

He hums, and looks at you while the woman looks the both of you up to check for the reservation. "Finish?" You ask quietly. "Almost. You can sit if you want," he replies, pinching your cheek playfully. You frown and shake your head.

"Alright, It seems you both have reservations. Here are the keys for your rooms. We hope you and your younger sibling enjoy your stay in penacony." The woman smiles and slides the cards on the counter. Aventurine thanks her and motions for you to follow, which you do without hesitance.

The walk is silent, and once the two of you are in the elevator, you decide to speak once more. "We are like Sunday and Robin."

Aventurine blinks at your declaration and turns so his body is facing you, leaning on the support bars of the elevator. "Is that a statement or a question?" He asks, but you don’t directly answer his question, only explaining your words.

"I am younger sibling, you are older sibling." It is then that Aventurine realizes you had paid attention to the woman’s words, or at least her send off ones. He didn’t think much of it, it wasn’t the first time people had assumed you both as siblings. Then again, you had yet to learn the concept of family and the various titles during those encounters.

Still, Aventurine smiles, chuckling lightly as the fuzzy feeling in his chest grows. "Yeah.. You’re the younger sibling, I’m older sibling." The elevator grows silent once more as you both wait for the doors to open.

He’ll need to finish those custody papers once this mission is over.

[lorryicious]

do you perhaps have any more Loretta/Bill content I’m VERY curious about their dynamic now 👁️👁️

I HAVE. SO MUCH. CONTENT. Loretta has been an oc I have had for YEARS so I absolutely have SO much stuff on her! Shes definitely my favorite oc alongside Jack, my other gravity falls oc. The short of it is they are forced to work together out of inconvenience by the Axolotl.. The most recent development has been the change in Lorettas ability revolving her sight because I thought it would be so cool if Loretta had the same/similar kind of mutation to Bill. It didn't change much to her character, just another reason why they ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time (time police events. I seriously need to write fanfic of the whole story LMAO)

Their dynamic is SO FUN. They bicker ALL the time and usually are yapping about something. They live together, so I think they argue over the smallest things. When they first ended up needing to work together, Bill was not thrilled AT ALL. He was VERY closed off. Loretta, not knowing this creature at all, just decided to let him do his own thing. It's only after an event where Loretta protects Bill when he's at his weakest that Bill realizes Loretta is harmless and that it wouldn't hurt to try to get some enjoyment out of her company. That turns into an actual friendship, which turns into Bill finding out Loretta is like him. Through this, they open up and become closer because of their similar identities. They just ended up on different paths because of their own mutations AUGH. Bill wanted more, when in comparison Loretta was content with what her world was already like.

Loretta is a demon hunter. She takes bounties from individuals around town to get rid of weirdness. She naturally has a knack for attracting it, so the job is perfect for her. Bill helps her with her bounties; in exchange, Loretta lets Bill drain her energy so he can regain his physical form. I have a whole animatic on my tiktok that shows how the possession works-

They are silly. They fight over what to watch on the tv, they karaoke and drink together, it takes AGES for Bill to actually open up to Loretta, Whenever they decide to share the bed (even though Bill doesn't sleep) he kicks off Lorreta off of it anyway just to frustrate her, they do makeup together, They drive up to one of the hills in gravity falls via Loretta's motorcycle and watch the sunset together. Love them. I have SO many thoughts on their dynamic, but they are there for each other, and despite all their issues, they love each other. They NEVER say it to each other because Bill is deathly scared of that word.

They are an oc x canon ship so they are together as partners TECHNICALLY. Still, I also think they are so messed up via the canon story that an ACTUAL domestic relationship dynamic just doesn't work for the two. Plus, Bill needs help understanding labels and Loretta doesn't need them. Plus there's the Jack situation...Which is a WHOLE OTHER RANT. JACK. AUGH. The love triangle (literally) goes insane. In my happy au they are a polycule asf.

Literally ask ANY questions about them, I might even draw something up if its a fun scenario you guys send,,, I LOVE THAT PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED IN THE OCS BECAUSE !!!! I HAVE SO MUCH CONTENT FOR THEM.

Some of this is older art but it still works <33 and I STILL LOVE IT

This one I did recently-

Great side effect for being able to see outside your plane of reality AND being intertwined to a demon, you get to relive HIS trauma TOO!! (imagine how horrifying that was when Loretta told Bill the dreams shes been having) (double note: Bill played it off like they were random when he was FREAKING OUT ON THE INSIDE)

[intertexts]

hes also so system coded 2 me also but i feel weird abt wholesale making up the guys in his head + He Doesn't Fucking Know so that probably won't come up much. other than yknow. the ways in which it does. i feel like wibby probably has a clue but doesn't like. Say anything abt it & just is always keeping so many mental notes. intimacy of knowing someone's brain etc. anyway originally i was thinking abt him & ashe post-muse & how they bond over literal lifeshattering trauma & how virion (quiet and blunt & shy and often impatient and angry and radiates danger in the same way eidolon or alexandria do) is endlessly patient & spends so much time just hanging out quietly with him & doing shit for him in a way where they both understand that he very much Needs To Be Doing Something For Him so it isn't just ashe being an object of pity so it's okay for him to accept it. not that he's bitch coded but he's a little bitch coded. rachel coded. whatever. only a tiny bit & only in the parallel play and eternal loyalty we will Never fucking talk about way. if that makes sense. he's so everything 2 me.

thinking abt nhw virion...........

[roystory4]

PLEASEEE do talk extensively about tua's relationship with mira i'm so curious... i ❤️ complicated relationships with parenthood

augh thank you for asking!!

firstly i think it's important to remember the context for fallout's setting... it's fifty years in the future, yet culturally locked in the 1960s, which means tua is grappling with a lot of expectations for someone who is middle-aged and perceived as female, like the idea that she needs to get married and leave their job to have kids.

tua meanwhile has no goals to get married or have a family. but it IS important to note that this is somewhat a response to a lifetime of feeling ostracized for how she presents. they don't have any family, and being of mixed background means she has been made to feel untethered/unwanted. growing up aware of these things, there never seemed to be room for someone like them in that picture of the american dream, so tua never really learned to want it.

(sidebar but... they supplement whatever loneliness comes of that with her job, which obviously leads to a really unhealthy relationship with her concept of worth. but i digress)

there's also another layer in the fact that tua's mother left her and her father at a very young age, taking infant miriam with her to the west coast. as a child tua came away with the belief that they had done something wrong, that they were too difficult/complicated and their mother couldn't handle her, when in reality their mom was a young mom and didn't know what to do while being so far away from her extended family in mexico. so tua's relationship with motherhood is that, well, they don't want to be a mom because they'd mess it up and be imperfect and couldn't handle it. etc.

(in fact the whole point of the penultimate chapter of act i is that tua learning to love herself is fully realized by coming back to mira and loving her. spoilers lol)

something i especially hope people keep in mind with tua being of mixed background is that she inherently has a different relationship w the concept of gender identity, with concepts of femininity and masculinity, and before the war there is definitely this concept of motherhood that tua absolutely cannot relate to and despises and as consequence despises the expectation that she have children. THEN because tua was so out of touch w their own body from decades of dysphoria they also just did not realize the signs until miriam made them go to the doctor. the fact tua's detachment from her own body means she didn't know she was pregnant until like 3-4 months in is kind of Part Of The Whole Thing!!!!!!

after the war, when tua is allowed to dress the way they want to, present the way she wants to, and there are no expectations for them to live a certain life, she ends up more willing to take on the responsibility of raising mira. a couple years in they do not feel that level of vitriol, BUT they're definitely not interested in having more kids to be clear.

(which ok other sidebar: i will also say doing the research into writing act i helped my dysphoria out a lot too, so it became important to me to present pregnancy/childbirth from a gender neutral perspective and to avoid using any of the weird motherhood = womanhood themes you see a lot. i think by the end of writing act i i had fixed a few of my own personal biases and i find that was invaluable!!)

all in all i really tried to make tua's relationship w/ being pregnant and raising a child as nuanced as possible without falling into the usual tropes around the topic... ultimately tua sees mira as her sister's baby, and sees themself as mira's guardian and not necessarily her parent. because of this, while tua does make an effort to provide for/support mira as she grows up, tua is also just very emotionally distant and standoffish by nature. i wanted tua to feel more like an awkward uncle who is making an attempt to be parental but does not have any natural instincts for it. in the end, mira grows up far closer to nick than to tua - while at the same time ending up exactly like her... always distant, always moving, and always self-isolating.

there might be more to it than that.... but basically it IS complicated and i put a lot of work into avoiding making it seem like everything "clicks" for tua once they have mira when in reality she was so manic they walked across the glowing sea and fought a horde of feral ghouls barehanded. normal new mom things lol

[djpachipikachu]

What are some of your favorite character relationships/dynamics in TMNT, and why? Is there anything that you particularly like seeing explored with them in fan works (art, writing, comics, etc)?

ooh ! hmm thats a good question

a bit basic but raph and leo’s dynamics in any iteration are among my top ones … not typically the conflict of it but more of just their friendlier interactions like the two oldest brothers dynamic in official iterations is always fun and most of the time they really do know each other much better/more accurately than they do with donnie or mikey

taking rottmnt as an example just bc its the one i main and understand best, despite the age order swapping from typical tmnt , the dynamic of an older raph trying to coach leo on responsibility is like!!! raph Knows what it is to be a leader and he Knows that leo is capable of it and he Knows leo is avoiding it by being reckless and he knows this isnt how leo usually is ! and with leo . he’s good at reading people in general ! but he respects raph on a deep level despite being a little shithead because thats his big brother !!! and he soon learns and Truly understands the weight of what raph’s dealt with bc of the events of the movie

and then just like . idk . the eldest half of the turtles being the closest in that kinda deep understsnding of their roles and the struggles that come with them . makes me emotional

id love to see more works about raph and leo just being brothers in the same vein as mikey and donnie just being a chaotic duo,,, like leo knowing when raph needs a minute to calm down or raph understanding how leo wants a plan to go without having to elaborate , etc

and my favorite underrated dynamics are the ones with splinter and the humans👍bc oh man oh man !!!!

again rottmnt specifically but splinter’s dynamic with april is Such a gem to me like she is literally the favorite child and she isnt even his THATS HIS FAVORITE KID!!!! in 2012 also i like april and splinter’s mentoring kinda relationship!!!!! its fire!!!!!

and God . casey and splinter in rise . Christ dawg . oh my god!!!!! splinter sees himself in casey so so much . Splinter Broke Casey Out Of The Hold The Foot Had On Her !!!! they make me crazy emotional and rarely any fanwork explores it !!!! i want more of that!!!!!! he saved her !!!!!! and she doesnt know what to even do about that!!!!!!! casey is also his favorite child rise splinter has a thing about all his favorite kids being none of the turtles and i stand by that /j

rise splinter sees his own younger self’s fiery passion and intense Want to be something great in april, and he sees his younger self’s struggle with being a part of a locked destiny that he was never given a choice to decide if he wanted it or not in casey </3

more rise casey jones and splinter fanworks🙏🙏PLEASE!!!!🙏🙏🙏casey learning how to be a person on her own🙏🙏🙏splinter supporting her like a father bc her own guardian figures never saw her potential🙏🙏🙏

other honorable mentions:

leo and usagi . self explanatory . love them . platonic or romantic idc i love seeing any content about them i love the different dynamics for them in any iteration

casey and april 2003 mt beloveds they make me so uehehehe theyre Silly theyre so silly and i wish we couldve explored rottmnt casey and april’s dynamic more

idw jennika and her relationship with the hamato clan !!! shes so similar to rise casey in that sense but then also just how shes such an older sister to them already is like . augh . i love asshole older sisters . i love her doubting her place in the family . i love her imagining what itd be like if she was with them during their worst moments and how she wouldve taken the hits for them . Idw jennika you will always be famous

im a huge yapper sorry but yeah thats my answer me thinks

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Yuri posting time. These are ships I personally vibe with from what I post about on here.

Higuchi and Gin (BSD): Okay, I'm not sure I can really explain this properly because it's so entwined with the plot of a particular fic I've been wanting to write about them, and I don't really want to spoil where it goes too much? Basically, I love the potential of two characters who (it's implied) got involved with dangerous work for the sake of their siblings. Higuchi's idealized view of romance contrasts with Gin's survival mentality (which is similar to Akutagawa's). At the same time, Higuchi gives Gin opportunities to express different sides of herself. They both work for the sake of others. Okay, so canonically, there isn't a lot there, because there is little exploration of the themes of BSD through these two characters, unfortunately. But, with a combination of "what if I explored the themes through these characters", some influence from O-Gin and Higuchi-sensei's works, and a touch of my own personal brand of "fuck it, we ball, and see where it rolls", I think there's a lot of fun things you can pull at.

Higuchi and Tsujimura (BSD): Not a long-term relationship. They're best friends who had a brief fling and then decided to remain friends. To me.

Wells and Sasaki (BSD): Absolute crack ship that I have not stopped thinking about since you suggested it @lucythejudge. It's so funny.

Meryl and Milly (Trigun): !!! THEM!!! AUGH! They spent!!! Eight months navigating the apocalypse together!!! Milly's smile and presence is enough to help Meryl out of her dark thoughts! Milly is unable to sleep when Meryl is in danger! Milly challenges Vash and Wolfwood when they try to stop her from rescuing Meryl! Meryl has complete faith in Milly to intervene when she has a literal contract killer pointing a gun at her head!!! They're always at each other's sides! THEY!

Coco and Agott (WHA): They give me slight killugon vibes (also maybe lumity - but I've never actually watched owl house unfortunately). Cute and pure. I hope they continue to inspire each other. :)

Theta and Morena (HxH): Saw art for this once. They haven't even interacted. But still, my brain thinks about it and goes ohohohoho

Ann and Shiho (P5R): Ahhh... they want to be strong for each other... avenging Shiho was Ann's reason for awakening... ahhhhhh

Ann and Mika (P5R): I just think Ann's canonical admiration for women who are mean is incredibly funny and so real. Get her a mean girlfriend.

Makoto and Hifumi (P5R): Okay, they hit it off immediately and also I want to see how intense they get over a game of shogi. Everyone quietly backing away from them... lmao. Also I think it's nice because Makoto could understand Hifumi's struggles with expectation and wanting to help her family, and Hifumi offers a familiar setting (intellectual, strategic) with opportunities for Makoto to expand her understanding as well as form a solid connection. They should be best friends at least!

Bonus:

This idea I had for a fucked up polycule that never actually becomes a polycule and is literally just Yosano, Wells, and Mary all being needed for some kind of research, with a stressed Tsujimura as their supervisor. There is... some kind of tension happening amidst the often inadvisable scientific decisions being made. No sex or romance actually ever occurs but there are conversations that sound suspiciously like flirting that usually end in Yosano gleefully hacking at something or someone in her temporary office, Mary nearly downing the entire grid because she diverted all the power to her latest project that then promptly exploded, or Wells vanishing then abruptly and calmly reappearing minutes later with no explanation except "the world will survive another day". Tsujimura is about ready to tear her hair out. The cat thief drops in sporadically to cause extra chaos. This too, is yuri.

[dr9com9ge-ix]

Hello! :D

So I got a couple questions

First: How do you get text to be a different color? (besides the colors provided by tumblr) I think it looks super cool :3

Second: Are you okay with people drawing their ocs to fit the Sunshine Suburbia au? Not to force you to insert them or anything, but just for funsies? If not that's okay /gen

I also want to say that I love your art, I wish I could transfer it into physical food and eat it /vpos

Anyways that's all, have a nice day :D

Howdy!

1: (ALOT OF JARGON WARNING!)

So I mainly edit my Sunshine Suburbia posts using Tumblr on the computer (Aka On my browser, This stuff is impossible on mobile as far as I know…) which allows you to swap from rich text editor (The default, and only option on the mobile app) to HTML (Alot more flexible on what you can do- BUT a headache to look at because it’ll be a GIANT wall of format along with your post’s text)

So once you’ve managed to get the HTML editor up you’ll need a hex code which represents the color you want your text to be- (ex: the code I use for Jevin is #0a01fe). The easiest way to get these is using your art program of choice (In my case, Procreate fw!) and color picking said color and checking the Hexidecimal section on where you pick colors!

You could manually input the HTML coding for colors but I really don’t like looking at HTML code for very long (Augh headache) so I use this text editor https://spacegen.carrd.co/ by another user called luna ! I copy paste the generated code to the Tumblr HTML editor (Usually replacing the text I had put in there, You can also italicize, bolden, etc using the spacegen editor ) and go to preview at the top of the editor and wow volia! More specifically colored text!!

Notes:

- Line breaks / Read mores break when you swap over from Rich Text to HTML but colored text does not break when you switch from HTML to Rich Text.

- Please be aware of what background your text will be seen on… It’s kind of why Wenda’s text isn’t colored on the Sunshine suburbia blog… Can’t guarantee people can read it as not everyone uses a dark bg- Same goes for Black / Tenebrae and some characters having texts slightly off from their actual colors. (Too light on white bgs, Too dark on black bgs…)

2: I’m absolutely fine with people drawing and writing their ocs to fit the Sunshine Suburbia au! Excited even! It’s even how I’d likely handle people interacting with the askblog (NOT THIS BLOG, DO NOT RP WITH THIS BLOG, THIS IS MY PERSONAL ART BLOG!!!! MY THERAPIST WILL HEAR ABOUT YOU IF YOU DO THAT!) as I sort of want to avoid crossovers mostly to keep the setting from getting messy! (I’ll likely detail this in the Visitor guide post on the Sunshine suburbia blog itself)

I’m just not cool with like— Trying to squirm in relationships (Mostly romantic and familial… But knowing someone before/ being friends with them is fine- It doesn’t have as many implications as the latter…) on the characters as they have their own things going on unless they’ve extensively discussed it with me WHICH I highly doubt would happen and alot of the times it doesn’t fit with the AU… But art and writing to fit them into the AU without those previous elements is COOL AND I’D LOVE TO SEE EM- PLEASE TAG ME IF YOU DO THAT!

I’d also try to provide more info about the world in there as the blog goes on to help with that- (Don’t be scared to prod for world building questions in this case… Most are not spoilery but most of the asks on this personal blog are bound to be a bit looser than what I’d give on the actual blog itself)

And also thank you! I’ve been told by a friend my art tastes like tv static (in a cool way!) Thanks for the ask! ^^

[cyborgpuppyofficial]

so why do you like Scourge the Hedgehog? What got you interested in him?

Yo my first ask!!!! Thank you so much for asking me a question, and to anybody else, I'll always be happy to respond to questions you may have about me or my oc's. Anyways, this is gonna be kinda long. ^^'

Long Explanation: So I've always liked Scourge design wise, ever since I was pretty little. Maybe about seven was when I saw him for the first time? I used to mistake him for Manic, but eventually learned the difference. When I learnt he was an Evil Counterpart of Sonic, I was hooked on him. I've always been a fan of AU's, and the concept has been something I loved to write for a very long time. Since I was young, I didn't understand his character, and wrote him in a dumb way when I was younger. Usually as a generic bad boy antagonist in Sonic High School AU's and stuff...

Later on during 2019, I was bored and decided to read more of the Archie Comics. That's when I learnt his backstory, and I became HOOKED on his universe, and the other Anti Counterparts. I began doing research, and I ended up starting a Gacha Life Shorts Show called The Misadventures Of Moebius on Tik Tok. It's still currently going, and I genuinely have fun writing it. It's mostly just me expanding on Anti Mobius, since the Archie Comics came to an end, and we never got to see many things from the universe. Many of the early episodes are inaccurate to my thoughts on most of the characters nowadays, and how they act. But to be fair, it's my first ever series, and I was only about 12 when I began making it for the first time. And at that point, I didn't even finish reading Archie like a dummy. I basically wanted to make silly shorts with some goofy characters I liked.

AUGH SO CRINGE AUGHHH. TmT

I appreciate his cool design, and the many writing opportunities he holds. It's easy to see Scourge as all evil, and write him as a cool villain. This is because of his cocky and rebellious demeanor. But it's also just as easy to see him as a misunderstood and not all evil character, which is how I personally see him. I think the idea of him and his father would've been cool to see more of, since obviously Scourge's home life effected the way he turned out growing up. And that if he's with the right people, he could've been just like Sonic! Kind of like an inverse on what he says to Sonic during one of their battles. In other people's AU's he's still a bad guy, but in my own I redeemed him. The nuanced way that people can see his character is a reason why I love him so much!

Plus, I like how he isn't super crazy like other Archie Sonic Villain's. Sometimes he's just kind of a dickbag, and I always enjoy someone who can be threatening, but also silly. I don't love everything about his character of course, he has some things that I try to forget about with his writing. But that's basically the case for every single character I like from anything ever. XD

I love this little shit so much. XD

TLDR:I've liked the green goober for a while now, but only since 2019 have I been more public about my love for this dummy. I love the idea of his universe, I like the many paths writers can take his character, and I just think his personality is really fun.

If you're interested, bellow is a work in progress on my Headcannon/AU Scourge that I use in my TMOM Episodes and videos! I hope to draw him, and the other cannon cast more often. And maybe interacting with my Anti Counterparts I made, or original characters from his universe I've built up for five years now. But I'm starting out by just making him a ref page. My next post will hopefully be him, or my next video. ^w^

I'm making this design for a video! And also just for fun! I can't wait to share the final with ya'll! X3

[jennyanypenny]

Soo heard ya seen the georgetown palace production of cats with the female munk kinda curious on ur thoughts on whats the production like?

It was fun :o3 Im forgetting stuff already, but I do know that seeing it changed my opinions on Skimbleshanks.

Using this ask as an excuse to write down a summary for myself (not in exact song order uhhh)

Starting numbers were good. Don’t have much to say, but seeing it live and kinda close is def different from seeing 5 pixel bootlegs!! These cats are people sized!! Also you could hear the noise when they pounced on the floor. I think some of that had to do with how small the theatre was. Also Vickys solo was mostly on a pole. I thought that they wouldn’t keep the sensuality of her parts but they did!

The Old Gumbie Cat number was soo good. But that was expected from the best song in the musical. Ive already praised Munku’s actress so :o3 .The gumbie trio sounded wonderful!! But during their part they did stuff with sticks and it was definitely a bit too loud.. The guys were the mice instead of the girl kits. They made a cute little shawl for Jenny out of rope that she wore throughout the show. Rumpel and Mungo may or may not have stolen it later. The beetles tattoo was very good! I think ive already mentioned it but Munkus led most of it. Jenny did lead some of it tho. She also came in inside of a shoe-car?? Oversized light up sneaker that she was riding. Supports my hc that these cats are 3 centimeters tall.

Oki so I missed some of The RTT because im lame and I can never watch this number without looking away for a bit. Anyways, the actor was funny as hell. Made silly faces through the show. Sillabub had a “I ❤️ Tugger” cardboard sign. Very important. Bomba and Tugger were def very close. Munkus and Tugger hung out a lot too! He got a lil crown during the number from his fangirls :3 . The end bit went on for some time but it made me giggle from what I remember so it was good 👍

Bustopher Jones sounded very nice. Very jolly. Wasn’t the full song I think. Some of the cats didn’t seem to like him which lame 🙄!! (Misto and Skimble were very exited tho!). Jenny still had the crush and got a flower at the end¿. (im forgetting stuff already) Also Bustopher Jones existed outside of his song! Win for Bustopher fans everywhere.

Mungo and Rumpel were trying to be funny I think?? But a lot of it came of like those parodies of Cats. Yknow, the ones were the cat role isnt taken seriously and its like “hahah, hairballs”. Was not a fan. Hated it actually. Maybe I just hate fun idk. They were also in front being silly wayy to much. During multiple numbers. There was some dialogue at the start of their song, them asking if it was safe to come out yet instead of the usual Rumpel laughs. The two actually being scared of Mac isnt something I usually interpret, but mmm has u thinking.

Augh during one of the Scares (not sure which one) they (Deme starts and cats join in) say (not truly sing) a part of Macavity, emphasizing the hypnotizing part (foreshadowing💥). Took away some of the mystery but it didnt bother me that much. They could have made it sound better tho 😭

The Jellicle Ball choreo was a bit disappointing, but I don’t remember much uhh. The music was good tho. Misto lifted Victoria btw, if any of the 3 mistoria shippers see this.

GLAMOUR CAT REPRISE!! GLAMOUR CAT REPRISE HOW I LOVE YOU! After it I think it was just Grizz and Sillabub was there watching her from up high in the set. I dont remember if Old D stayed, but he might have.

Moments of Happiness was good I rlly liked Old Ds voice. Victoria and Jemima had a little dance at the end although this could have also happened before/during the Jellicle Ball.

Gus the Theatre cat was wonderful <33 . Such a great Jelly. One of my favorites (although I already have a lot of favorite Jellys :’3). She was sweet and her voice was nice. The number was def a bit less sad and more funny. Mmm something cute is that like 4 cats worked to place and fluff up a pillow on the hat¿ Gus sat on.

Macavity fight was very cool. There wasn’t the reveal bit. He just came in ready to fight. Demeter fought quite a bit. All the other cats (apart from Munkus [who got their ass beat like usual] and Deme) who hit Mac were all played by male actors. Munk did recover and finish it off tho (I think). Deme was also kitnapped. Definitely a suprise! There was this box they were sliding around and stuff and Mac escaped by going inside with her in it after hypnotizing her. They really played into that part. I somehow missed Old Deuteronomy being kitnapped before all this idk how.

Speaking of Macavity I loved Demeters voice. She was really good. I knew Macavity was gonna be good when I heard her in the opening number 🙏. Bomba had a deeper voice and I rlly liked the playfulness the actress brought to her. Ermm I dont remember much else.

SKIMBLESHANKS THE RAILWAY CAT was awesom. Actor was very expressive. Bustopher appears during this song. There was a bit where mungo/rumpel stole Bustophers’ watch, skimble caught them, and then Bustopher came back to get it and found skimbol with it. ‘,:-\ . Very silly I liked that part. There was also like 2 seconds of tap dancing I swear. Instant bonus points. Everybody loves Skimbleshanks for good reasons and I finally understood why.

Magical Mr Mistoffelees was fun! Its always such a happy joyful song! The Conjuring Turns!!! Holy moly. Its another experience to actually be there clapping. He first conjured up Deme at the very start and then Old Deuteronomy. They hugged a lot <33. Mr. Mistoffelees was very kittenish in this production. It was cute :o3

Memory sounded good I will not deny this! But the acting. It wasnt that emotional.. which is what I mainly like about Memory. She mostly just sung towards the audience. You didn’t really get the feeling she was angry/sad/regretful and desperate.

Grizzabella ascended on a boat. The one that is on the right of the stage in the pic.

Another number my mind was changed on is Addressing of Cats. I think I mentioned it being a least fave in a ask game and yeagh. This is why Growltiger beat it for least fave song. Very awesome. A cat is not a dog.

I enjoyed it! Genuinely never thought I would see it in person until I was much older but I was proved wrong! Also the Cats brainrot was stronger in the weeks leading up to it. (good thing)

According to my mom my dumbass missed when they went through the aisles :’( . I only saw Misto bringing Old D in his arrival. Fave performers where the ones who played Munkus, Jelly, Gus, Old D, Deme and Tugger.

[uroboros-if]

i am actually so insane abt this if holy shit like holy SHIT????? it's rare that an if pulls me in so immediately as my personal preference is to go for completed ones (free so i am missing out on some itch and several cog ones lmao) if not long wips but every single aspect of this if is lovely and the sum is even greater than that somehow

the whole premise and wordbuilding is sublime and the fact that we are a 'useless' god is amazing love proving the inherent worth of just existing and that any kindnesses are all the more valuable because it's for you as you not for what u can do but i digress

such charming lovely well rounded characters and augh i can smell the angst and pain (i love it) and the gods v mortals conflict.................... also ur writing style is so flowy and like. elegant?? idk it's pleasing to read and rlly fits the tone of it!!!

not to mention the variability and just much more complex relationships/choices? i don't mind stat checking mainly cuz i haven't happened upon particularly egregious uses of it but i love this approach - reminds me of atoc!! and ur ui is amazing............. just GORGEOUS and works smoothly!!!!!! the tutorial esque bits are incorporated well too so it's def great for anyone who's first foray into ifs is uroboros!!!!

oke bye take care <3

!!! I cannot tell you how absolutely honored I am to hear that you gave this IF a chance, even if you usually go for completed works. 🥹 I am in the same boat where I only submit myself to waiting on WIPs if they particularly captivate me!

I'm ecstatic you loved the setting, themes, characters and style of the IF! It's a little different from other IFs, not necessarily better or worse, but it can be a little unfamiliar navigating such a writing style, so I'm grateful it isn't so annoying to read and it came across properly to at least some, haha. 🥹❤️

Similarly, I'm also so happy you enjoyed the non-story aspects of it, such as the UI and variability! The variability is overwhelmingly the most difficult part of writing Uroboros, but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I wasn't sure if anyone would care much about it, and it's so exciting that some do! I have to start skipping them and revisiting them later, however, as I end up drowning myself writing all the different choices. 😭 I'm also super proud of incorporating the tutorial bits!! I don't like throwing it all in one go.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write your thoughts. It still blows my mind for people to write at length about it, let alone share their thoughts at all. This truly means the world to me. Thank you again, dumplingcatho!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[ardenrabbit]

i am a little embarrassed to talk about this openly so i am doing it anon,,, but holy shit you have no idea how much your fic means to me. last year i was diagnosed with a life-altering illness in my bone marrow, and i've lost so much since then. i used to be muscular, and love my body, and just. augh. i've lost nearly 60 pounds to the date and all my muscle. some days my bones hurt so bad from the inside out that i feel like how you've written xie lian--pushing through every screaming fiber in my body to take just one more step forward. i can't recover fast enough. some days i feel strong and then get reminded that just vacuuming my floor leaves me a trembling, sweating mess. it's so frustrating.

you don't have to publish this but. being able to read something that feels so? accurate? so,,, i'm not sure how to describe it. i just feel seen, with the added bonus of your portrayal being written so beautifully and featuring my favorite little guys right now. i love it so much and i just wanted you to know that. not to be dramatic but your writing just. feels like home. qwq

Anon, I hope it's okay with you if I do answer this, because damn, I really want to try and give this a worthy response.

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through so much, and I hope that things get easier for you in any ways that they can. I'm not going to say I know what it's like, because everyone's experience with chronic illness, pain, and fatigue is different. I sincerely wish you the best in your recovery and ongoing management of your condition.

I'm so truly grateful that you've been able to find something cathartic in what I'm writing. Most of my fics end up as self-therapy projects, so I try to be realistic and compassionate about the topics at hand in case someone else relates to it. I know one of the big differences between this fic and real life is that Xie Lian is eventually going to make a relatively full recovery, where people with chronic conditions will usually have to manage them for the rest of their lives, so I worry that the ending might feel frustrating or like wishful thinking to some people. Most of us don't get that kind of closure. But I really hope that this story can offer some sense of relief and validation to people who are going through their own recoveries or learning how to manage chronic conditions.

I really had no idea that so many people would find the story so relatable, so I really hope that I can do a decent job of helping people feel acknowledged and that they're not alone. Maybe most importantly, I hope that I can help offer some hope to people going through this sort of thing, because things do tend to gradually become more manageable as they navigate their conditions. There is a grieving process involved with diagnoses of chronic conditions, but it is a process in the end. 

I truly believe in the hope that life can still be full and fulfilling even if the illness or injury won't go away. That might sound ominous, but it's important to remember, wherever you're at.

Thank you for telling me what it means to you. I've learned that fics can have a marked impact on people's lives (my first big fic got me a wife, who is the coolest person who's ever lived; writing has helped me manage my own mental health like nothing else possibly could; I've made amazing friends and been able to share mutual support with them) so I take this seriously. I hope this makes sense and doesn't come off as patronizing (I would be the worst kind of liar if I said everything's going to be okay for everyone, and the "you're so strong and brave, I could never handle going through that" stuff makes me wanna scream) and I just. It means everything to me if I've successfully offered some comfort. Thank you.

I hope you have a really good year, anon. 💜

[misc-obeyme]

there's always a thousand ideas rattling around in my brain, and my notes app is getting filled with one line prompts for mostly art ideas but could also turn into mini fics

I'm still hung up on boxer mammon and I think. I will pick up my sketchbook today after going grocery shopping. Drawing faces is what's holding me back, and the idea that I wouldn't do the characters justice is what holds me back from writing (have not written since my wattpad days). The closet thing I have is dialogue blurbs in my notes app.

mammon is always on the brain SORRY. but like, thinking about merchant/jeweler mammon and a royal mc. And Mammon has ridiculous prices or excuses for why he can't sell (thinking about aziraphele from good omens and his book shop) but mc visits his stall every day (possibly in disguise?? or with a guard), and one day manages to trade a royal jewel for something in his collection (i am such a sucker for royalty in general and knights and AAA)

or thinking about Solomon and mc making potions together for the first time, and Solomon encouraging random things to be added just to see the end result (my mc is naturally curious and shares a single braincell when paired with solomon)

OR mc their first year in the devildom and possibly going to barbatos for advice on ingredients to use, what's human safe, and easy dishes to experiment on so they don't poison themselves. which makes me wonder how much human stuff is readily available and if mc can go grocery shopping in the human world with barbatos (domestic activities), or if they had to send him with a list (like when there was a retreat at the demon lords castle and everyone got to make dishes from their home)

sorry for getting carried away, this was the longest ask ever akdjdj, was just hoping to share some ideas and maybe some things that could bring back the creative spark AAA SORRY BYE LOVE YOU AND YOUR BLOG 🤣🫶

- ✨ anon

Please do not worry about ask length, ✨ anon! My responses tend to be lengthy too lol! So don't apologize because I love it!!

Augh, I totally get what you mean about the ideas... I am plagued by them all the time lol. It's finding the time to actually use them for anything that's usually the issue.

I hope you did do some drawing in your sketchbook! I can't speak to difficulties with art, but when it comes to writing, you can't let yourself worry about doing the characters justice.

I used to care a lot about how I characterized everybody. I was always so nervous about writing for Mammon in particular that I just didn't a lot of the time. But the truth is, every writer will characterize them differently. And your interpretation of them is just as valid as anyone else's! If it's less about that and more than you're concerned about your skill level, well, unfortunately there's no way around it. You gotta write to get better at writing! You can always start with characters you're not as concerned about if you want, but I find it's usually best to follow the inspiration! I believe in you!

Also don't worry, I love Mammon, so I don't mind hearing about him lol! And OKAY I looove Good Omens! I read the book a long time ago and then re-read it several times before the show came out. And then the fandom exploded!! But it's been amazing. Er anyway, getting off topic here, which is that I love the idea of jeweler/merchant Mammon who can't bear to part with his merchandise alksdfjf- I also love knights, I have a whole medieval AU brewing in my brain meats that I would write if I had any kind of time. Royal!MC showing up like I bet I have something you can't resist... I'll get you to trade me something from your wares!! I also like the idea of MC trading a kiss for something of his and he agrees because he's surprised to find that he's willing to give up his expensive object for a chance to kiss MC tee hee~

Solomon being a menace is something I'm always up for! I like the idea that he would encourage MC to do that, but also knows enough about the ingredients himself to know that the things he's suggesting aren't dangerous. Like he doesn't know what adding this herb will do, but he does know that it won't explode in MC's face lol. Though I also like the idea of Solomon and MC just being chaotic potion gremlins and adding anything and everything just to see what would happen. Like when MC is powerful enough and Solomon feels confident that MC won't get hurt, then they're both going all in.

I kinda think ingredients from other worlds are not readily available, since it seems like Simeon and Luke kinda go through this thing where they're trying to learn to cook with Devildom ingredients. Which means that Barbatos likely has a way of procuring those ingredients when he needs them. I absolutely love the idea of going human world shopping with Barb. I'm just gonna put that in my own personal headcanon. Whenever MC says in the game that they're gonna cook some human world food or at the retreat and everything, that also means a shopping trip with Barbatos. I wish I understood why I would want to do that so bad, but I really do. Imagine taking him to a human world grocery store. Like if he said to me that I should take him wherever I normally go, it's like okay lemme take you to Aldi and Walmart lol. But then I'd be like listen, if we can go anywhere though, we should really go to Costco and Trader Joe's. I never go to Costco because I don't have a membership. Because I am shopping only for myself and I don't need fifty pounds of anything lol. And there is no Trader Joe's in my town, the nearest one is over an hour away.

ANYWAY I love all your ideas!! I hope you find the motivation and confidence to pick up drawing and/or writing again! I have no doubt that whatever you create will be amazing!

[allylikethecat]

i genuinely do not think its possible for any one person to have more energy than i do atm. IM GONNA DIE. please im gonna actually die ok ok ok wait so. i promise i am sane. however.

Matty was still standing in the aisle way, the brim of his helmet casting his face in shadow. Even while wearing a crew neck sweatshirt over his show shirt and tie, George could tell that he had lost weight. He was holding himself carefully, looking up at George with wide eyes, like he couldn’t believe that he was actually standing before him.

TEARS IN MY ACTUAL EYES. george can tell hes lost weight ☹️ hes holding himself like that again ☹️ i cannot DO THIS ALLY im gonna scream and cry in a really good way but also a very sad way pls this is so ☹️☹️☹️ george u fucked up real bad and im gonna punch u for it hoe...

They reached the back of the barn and Matty turned, his arms crossed in front of his chest. George wasn’t sure if the position was a defensive one, or one meant to self soothe.

im convinced u want me dead. this is. AAAAHHH but in a sad way. just that line oh george u fucked up so so so so so so so unbelievably badly LOOK WHAT UVE DONE TO HIIIM im gonna cry. the way u described it is ☹️☹️☹️ like either way hes Not In A Good Way AND. i dont even know. im having. A CRISIS i love this so much

“You’re not my keeper,” said Matty, the ice in his voice freezing George’s veins. “That’s not up to you.”

tears in my actual eyes im srs this is so ☹️☹️☹️ (emoji of the day ong) im literally about to die pls no the one time hes confident in his words is when george has hurt him THIS BADLY that he just has to be IM GONNA SOB. 😭 thats 😭 not 😭 up 😭 to 😭 you 😭

Matty snorted, “That’s funny,” he said cruelly, “because I think you’re the one that pushed me away. You fell off Mars and somehow that was my fault and meant that I was stealing drugs from the barn. Something you went and told our boss to try and get me fired.”

every chapter i think Wow this cannot get any better. then BAM. george being completely oblivious to how badly hes hurt matty is making me want to curl up into a ball and die because of SADNESS im gonna. AUGH. pls no omfg i dont even have words like usually i at least try to say things that Make Sense but IM SO. AJSHJSJSJSH I CANT EVEN DO THAT i need u to write a book Right Now

George blinked, Matty’s words a shot to the chest. Matty loved him. Matty had loved him as in past tense. He swallowed hard.

I AUDIBLY GASPED. nononoejsiqksjswkd pls LOVED IN THE PAST TENSE im about to rip my heart out of my own chest this is the best thing ever pls george LOOK WHAT U DDIIIIIIIIDDDDDD

“You’re missing the point!” Matty shouted, “I don’t want to try.”

STOP IT RIGHT NOW STOOOPPPPPPPP STAWP STOOOPPP STOP IT NOW STOP STPPROOQOSOOWIXIOWOXOS ally. how do u. DO THIS. its eleven words and im clutching my chest and screaming silently. a way with words im sO SRS

“Everything,” said George, “I’m sorry for the way I took you for granted, for the way I didn’t take your feelings and needs into account during our relationship,” he swallowed hard, “I’m sorry for the way I let my jealousy take control and the way I took it out on you, and I’m sorry that I let my feelings about Matthew Healy, the rider I grew up wanting to compete against, overtake my feelings for Matty Healy the person. Because Matty Healy the person is one of the kindest, strongest, most resilient people I have ever met and he shouldn’t give up his dream because I’m an asshole.” George took a breath, “and I just, I don’t care if you hate me, you should hate me, but don’t let more of my mistakes keep you from coming back to Dirty Hit, don’t let it keep you from coming back home.”

THIS ENTIRE PARAGRAPH???????????? im im AWE this is beautiful and its going to make me SOB. 😭 dont 😭 let 😭 it 😭 keep 😭 you 😭 from 😭 coming 😭 back 😭 home 😭 HIS HOOOME ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ pls im gonna start screaming crying throwing up pls slpslskqikakdkkwosoi I CANNOT DEAL. difference between matthew healy and matty healy is making me DIE

Matty sniffled. “Do you actually mean that?” he asked, his voice shaking, he had his arms wrapping around himself again.

George nodded. “I’ve never meant anything more.”

HES NEVER MEANT ANYTHING MORE MATTY PLSPLS i am genuinely fighting for my life rn this is the best ever and i love it so much and the way u write them is so Jajjanzjjwjdjjwisijs in an amazing way and im gonna EXPLODE AND DIE because of this one line. "ive never meant anything more." AKANJAJDJWJKZKQJ OKAY THEN DO U WANT ME DEAD. DO U WANT ME SOBBING ON MY FLOOR. BECAUSE I WILL. but also thats The Goal u know. emotion. ok. im going to DIE but pls pls understand i mean all of this in a very positive way and i am not telling u i hate u with this because i actually do not have the ability in my body to hate anything u have ever or will ever write and i am professionally thanking u for writing this 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ MY JESUS U KNOW. ok. enjoy ur day and i will be screaming crying in my room over this in a Very Very good way. also i apologise for my lack of punctuation im having a horse gatty crisis

AHHH Thank you so much for reading! I apologize for being so slow in the response department 😭 Y'all are kind enough to send me asks then I take ten years to respond I'm so sorry.

Horse shows are physically hell on your body when you're like, healthy and emotionally stable... Fictional!Matty is none of those things he is struggling... and Fictional!George is so obsessed with him that of course he notices!

Fictional!George has put Fictional!Matty through HELL he is confused, and hurt and thought he found a home and a family and someone that care about him but then Fictional!George burnt it all down with his jealousy. BUT Fictional!George is Fictional!George and is so caught up in himself he didn't even realize it 🥺 He realizes it now though!! Sort of... it's a work in progress

Thank you SO MUCH for reading and for sending me such a wonderful and enthusiastic ask omg I smiled SO HARD reading it omg I'm just so grateful that you not only took the time out of your day to read my fic but to send me such lovely and detailed commentary?! Thank you, thank you thank you! I hope you liked the epilogue and I hope you continue to enjoy my works!! Have the very BEST Tuesday and a wonderful rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[kaeyapilled]

Something that make ME ill: the idea of him moving* into the teapot, which is "comfortable, like somewhere I belong" and [I was going to write more specifically related to something you've said before, but I got distracted by how much kaeyadisease I got from just that as a standalone thought.]

*which he explicitly states he MOVED to it, as opposed to certain others like Beidou (Miss Beidou I want you to teach ME how to steer a boat) who don't talk like being there is a full time thing or something they intend to continue in the longterm - which is additionally fun to think about because he usually doesn't seem to expect anything to continue in the longterm (does he even expect this to be longterm?...but that brings me back to what this ask was originally going to say).

While obv the teapot companions aren't canon (Rather, the more it would change the plot - for example, Kaeya living there - the less canon it is. Beidou hanging out at least once is entirely plausible.), what characters can have what relationship with the teapot is soo interesting to me. I like that they talk about it different from each other!

And the teapot's probably pretty convenient, since it's implied in the item description that they can enter it anywhere because of the Realm Dispatch... even less plot-canon, but I kind of want to write a fic where the idea of that is utilized to get out of a situation or used for a scheme or something.

Anyways, that he can move there lends credit to the theory that he isn't very attached to whatever living space he has in Mondstadt post-Ragnvindrs.

Augh. This man.

MUCH TO THINK ABOUT

[genderqueer-miharu]

ok idk what happened to that nno ask you sent me a while ago i think it got eaten by my drafts.. BUT ANYWAY i really like the series!! the characters are all so well written, i love how all their different motivations have such a strong effect on the story. and i like seeing the art improve, in only a few volumes it's gotten really nice. also the comedy is hilarious it makes me bust out laughing a lot dhshdjcksl

i had written abt some bits like the yae oda miharu hug and the yoite "stop being so nice to me" scene making me cry augh (I'm on vol 7 and I've cried like 3 times. i dont usually do that)

also i tried watching the anime version of some scenes i liked (mostly comedy moments and the ones i said above) but well. I'm sure you know how that goes 💀

Read chapters 33-35 yesterday and man. MAAAAAAN. turning the page to the "i dont want to die" art. I CANT TAKE THIS [adds it to my crying list]

and this? BRUH

[ID: two panels from Nabari No Ou. In the first, Yukimi says to Tobari, "If you're too serious about your convictions, you could drive someone to their death without meaning to." Tobari says nothing.

In the second, Tobari stares in shock as Kouichi gets shot in front of him. End ID]

i got my sister to read the series with me and she now calls it "nabari no ouch"

Ahhh i'm so so happy you're liking it!!! Seeing the art evolve is really a highlight for me (especially if you the author's other works). And the writing is fantastic ofc, and it keeps getting better and better as it keeps going. Sadder as well, i apologize in advance for the heartbreak you will go through (don't want to say more than this but like. Just let me know when you read vol 10) it's so worth it tho i swear it is. The anime is. Fine. I mean the first 15 eps are good imo, everything after that it's a disaster. Also your sister is not the first person to make that joke lmao that's how this series is. Again i'm so glad you're reading it. Would definetely love to keep hearing your thoughts on it while you read!!