#reading these asks is gonna make me cry again
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[since everything under a Read More cut gets deleted in case a blog deletes/gets deleted and the WayBackMachine isn’t so good with pictures, for Archive Purposes only, I will add the most important bits of the full post and have also checked/updated all the source links] Part 1 - Engaged
December 2010, X factor Video Diary week 9 (video)
You sure would, Louis.
February 2011, Harry’s "I think i wanna marry you" tweet (x)
September 2011, “I met One Direction” (x)
[...] The journey is getting interesting.
November 2011, Dome 60 interview (video)
I love that Zayn, as soon as he hears that, turns his head to look at Louis, even before Harry.
I think that at this point they had at least discussed the possibility to marry in the future. Bringing up the topic of marriage for the first time, in public, would have been a risky move otherwise.
March 2012, Kiss 95.7 interview (x) [note: Harry had already been gifted his dark silver "Promise/engagement ring" by Louis by this point]
They are asked what they would name their future daughters and Harry says Darcy. Then Louis looks at Harry and says he hadn’t thought of it, Harry says "Whoops!" and Liam laughs. They definitely act like two people who discussed their future together, who are committed to each other (..but never talked before about the name of their children. Oops.)
April 2012, ZMTV interview (source video nowhere to be found anymore)
They are asked who would get married first and Harry says that you would think Liam, but in fact Louis is the dark horse in the race. Eager much, Harry?
October 2012, One Direction with Cauet on NRJ (x)
They are asked if they get a lot of marriage proposals, and that's Harry's answer. I have nothing further to add. I'm just going to hide in a corner and cry. [hint hint, dark silver ring *eyebrow waggle*]
December 2012, Barbara Walters interview (video)
The moment that killed us all. [She asks: "Do you all wanna be married and have children?" and] They say that they want to marry and have kids, and then they look at each other, smiling and blushing, like the leading characters of a romantic comedy. [...]
Speaking of:
[TWO OR THREE KIDS, i'm GONNA CRY. PLEASE. i wish this for them so much! ;______; ]
July 2013, Twitter Questions (x) [note: by this point Louis has already gifted Harry his Peace Ring, which is strongly believed to be an engagement/wedding ring and Harry is wearing it to this day (2024)]
Niall says “But, nothing happens when you’re under 21." and Harry very quietly says: “You can get married.” and then he says again, a bit louder: “You can still get married, Niall!” Ok, Harry has clearly done his homework.
August 2013, CQC Brazil interview (x)
So, Louis goes "Marriage, sex, kissing, everything, the lot." with someone who looks like Harry. Ok, we got it!
August 2013, Capital FM Interview (x) The interviewer congratulates Zayn on being the first to pop up the question.
[...] Those little shits. They’re already engaged! Their faces when the interviewer says that is priceless. And Louis' smirk makes me think he was the one proposing to Harry. [considering what happens the following month.. 9/28/13.. WELL]
Besides, Louis, who are you looking at?
continued in part 2!
“Even as young as you are?”. Or, Harry and Louis are engaged to be married. A masterpost
This is a journey in time. A journey in the love story between HarryandLouis and marriage. From the openness to dialogue in the earlier days, to a commitment and finally, i think, to a formal engagement.
Keep reading
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You're literally perfect omfg
Ford sees Stan getting face-fucked by a teacher behind the bleachers when he's going for his usual and gets even more pissed and takes it out on Stan, making him drink rubbing alcohol because 'he's not worth the diseases Ford could get from his dirty fucking mouth', says Stan's only gonna graduate because of his lip service, and if Stan even wants to think about Ford forgiving him he'll stop letting anyone but him in his mouth. Stan can't afford that - but Ford makes him give up on the idea of graduating. Then when he fails and Ford graduates like they both expected Ford still leaves, leaving Stan with nothing but a sore jaw, blue balls and a panic attack
call me perfect againand i',m bending you overANYWAYS. genuis. loving this au whatever youd call it. obsessed even. i lvoe ou.
first part !
fored guuilting staninto only sucking himoffYYEAAAAAGID . ANON. IM SO NOTFUCKIGN NORMAL BAOHTTHIS I KEEP COMING BACK TO READ IT AND MAKE SOMETHIGNF ROYU BUT I CRASH OUT EVERYT IME I LVOE EVI FORD I LOVEVILFORDIVLVOE. sorry. anyways. ahem.OokayGO!..................ghghnoohhsorry i came again okayGO!!!!!!!
ford knew that stan wasn't doing this with just him, obvioisly, how else would he have found out about his little hustle but when he actually. sees. him with another mans dick in his mouth. physical proof of it he gets so fucking mad. the rough treatment growing ever worse and ford is so distraught so much of it comes from the fucking agony that is not waking up with stan in his life and also how he will aways be fuming over stan ruining his future and they've been taufht that boys don't cry so his only outlet is spitting insults at his brother and throat fucking him till he can't tell what;s excess saliva and what's tears on his brothers face
and stan just takes it. all the verbal abuse and the hair pulling and the things ford makes him do bevause its ford, he ruined ford life, this is the least he can do to make up for it, even if that means sacrificing his only chance at a future just to take a little bit of the edge off of ford's harsh voice. he doesn't care that he can;t graduate, it doesn't bother him when his brother's six fingers are buried in his hair and all he can smell and taste and hear is ford evenif it hurts to breathe afterwards he doesnt care, because this way he stillhas ford, right?
WRONG! ford still leaves. he doesn't say goodbye, either, he never planned on staying. he knew stanley was to naive and desperate that he'd tell stan anything just to get the taste of another man's cock off his brothers tongue becuase he knew deep down he could not hanfle the though of stanley wanting anyone but him and even if he told himself he hated his brother, and thats why he was doing this, he still had to wipe tears from his eyes when he left jersey for good
and stan breaks when ford's gone, it nearly kills the guy. he laughs about it the night he realized ford wasn't coming back to him for anything anymore. he destroyed ford's chance at a decent future, and in return ford took his away. sigh. L bozo got played by his brother. ok bye. anon send me more asks i wanna crawl into ur ski n
part 3!
#bees asks#teen stans asks series#stancest#proship#guhghgu sorry for making it sad guys im a sucker for making them miserable#especially at teenegers#apologies again got taking so longi lvoe you#hhhhhhh\
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MIGHT be tmi but i tend to like cry when having sex idk why not in a bad way just like feels good i cry but i was wondering how would Jinx react if f!Reader started pleasure crying during sex 💙
nah, it's alr anon, i was literally crying yesterday! 😭
jinx seeing reader cry during sex! (ask by anonymous)
tw: afab!reader but no pronouns! also, really short... sorry, anon!
jinx is currently rubbing your clit while fingering you, her fingers curling up to your g-spot. the pleasure becoming so overwhelming until tears prickle and fall from your eyes.
jinx didn't realise at first, too concentrated on making you feel good, but when she does and looks up at you – she panics.
without a single bit of hesitation, she pulls her fingers out of you. she's a bit confused when she hears your whine and notices your upset expression, and she was even more confused when you say,
"why did you stop?"
"you were crying?" she says with utter confusion, but the confusion on his face quickly turned into a frown when you burst into laughter, "why are you laughing?"
"those were tears of pleasure..."
"huh?"
"meaning that i'm crying because of how good the pleasure is."
"so i was doing a good job?"
"yes!" she looks at you, unsure. "you promise?"
"yes, and i was about to cum... soooo?"
a sigh of relief leaves her lips before her eyes widen at your words. you could've sworn you could see them glimmer! she quickly slipped her fingers back into your wet cunt and continued her ministrations, trying to make you feel as good as possible again, wanting to see the tears of pleasure again.
rubbing your clit, going as quick as possible, and the cockiest grin forms on her face when she notices the tears of pleasure coming back along with a loud moan as you come undone around her fingers.
she rubs your clit, coaxing your orgasm out of you before slowly pulling out of your trembling hole.
"i'm gonna try and achieve those tears everytime we have sex. gonna make that my personal goal. now that i know it's a good thing."
you snicker, "alright jinx."
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
about me + rules
got a bit too lazy for a proof read... not to mention it's kinda ass. sorry anon!
#jinx#jinx smut#jinx x you#jinx x reader#arcane jinx#arcane jinx smut#arcane jinx x you#arcane jinx x reader
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i genuinely do not think its possible for any one person to have more energy than i do atm. IM GONNA DIE. please im gonna actually die ok ok ok wait so. i promise i am sane. however.
Matty was still standing in the aisle way, the brim of his helmet casting his face in shadow. Even while wearing a crew neck sweatshirt over his show shirt and tie, George could tell that he had lost weight. He was holding himself carefully, looking up at George with wide eyes, like he couldn’t believe that he was actually standing before him.
TEARS IN MY ACTUAL EYES. george can tell hes lost weight ☹️ hes holding himself like that again ☹️ i cannot DO THIS ALLY im gonna scream and cry in a really good way but also a very sad way pls this is so ☹️☹️☹️ george u fucked up real bad and im gonna punch u for it hoe...
They reached the back of the barn and Matty turned, his arms crossed in front of his chest. George wasn’t sure if the position was a defensive one, or one meant to self soothe.
im convinced u want me dead. this is. AAAAHHH but in a sad way. just that line oh george u fucked up so so so so so so so unbelievably badly LOOK WHAT UVE DONE TO HIIIM im gonna cry. the way u described it is ☹️☹️☹️ like either way hes Not In A Good Way AND. i dont even know. im having. A CRISIS i love this so much
“You’re not my keeper,” said Matty, the ice in his voice freezing George’s veins. “That’s not up to you.”
tears in my actual eyes im srs this is so ☹️☹️☹️ (emoji of the day ong) im literally about to die pls no the one time hes confident in his words is when george has hurt him THIS BADLY that he just has to be IM GONNA SOB. 😭 thats 😭 not 😭 up 😭 to 😭 you 😭
Matty snorted, “That’s funny,” he said cruelly, “because I think you’re the one that pushed me away. You fell off Mars and somehow that was my fault and meant that I was stealing drugs from the barn. Something you went and told our boss to try and get me fired.”
every chapter i think Wow this cannot get any better. then BAM. george being completely oblivious to how badly hes hurt matty is making me want to curl up into a ball and die because of SADNESS im gonna. AUGH. pls no omfg i dont even have words like usually i at least try to say things that Make Sense but IM SO. AJSHJSJSJSH I CANT EVEN DO THAT i need u to write a book Right Now
George blinked, Matty’s words a shot to the chest. Matty loved him. Matty had loved him as in past tense. He swallowed hard.
I AUDIBLY GASPED. nononoejsiqksjswkd pls LOVED IN THE PAST TENSE im about to rip my heart out of my own chest this is the best thing ever pls george LOOK WHAT U DDIIIIIIIIDDDDDD
“You’re missing the point!” Matty shouted, “I don’t want to try.”
STOP IT RIGHT NOW STOOOPPPPPPPP STAWP STOOOPPP STOP IT NOW STOP STPPROOQOSOOWIXIOWOXOS ally. how do u. DO THIS. its eleven words and im clutching my chest and screaming silently. a way with words im sO SRS
“Everything,” said George, “I’m sorry for the way I took you for granted, for the way I didn’t take your feelings and needs into account during our relationship,” he swallowed hard, “I’m sorry for the way I let my jealousy take control and the way I took it out on you, and I’m sorry that I let my feelings about Matthew Healy, the rider I grew up wanting to compete against, overtake my feelings for Matty Healy the person. Because Matty Healy the person is one of the kindest, strongest, most resilient people I have ever met and he shouldn’t give up his dream because I’m an asshole.” George took a breath, “and I just, I don’t care if you hate me, you should hate me, but don’t let more of my mistakes keep you from coming back to Dirty Hit, don’t let it keep you from coming back home.”
THIS ENTIRE PARAGRAPH???????????? im im AWE this is beautiful and its going to make me SOB. 😭 dont 😭 let 😭 it 😭 keep 😭 you 😭 from 😭 coming 😭 back 😭 home 😭 HIS HOOOME ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ pls im gonna start screaming crying throwing up pls slpslskqikakdkkwosoi I CANNOT DEAL. difference between matthew healy and matty healy is making me DIE
Matty sniffled. “Do you actually mean that?” he asked, his voice shaking, he had his arms wrapping around himself again.
George nodded. “I’ve never meant anything more.”
HES NEVER MEANT ANYTHING MORE MATTY PLSPLS i am genuinely fighting for my life rn this is the best ever and i love it so much and the way u write them is so Jajjanzjjwjdjjwisijs in an amazing way and im gonna EXPLODE AND DIE because of this one line. "ive never meant anything more." AKANJAJDJWJKZKQJ OKAY THEN DO U WANT ME DEAD. DO U WANT ME SOBBING ON MY FLOOR. BECAUSE I WILL. but also thats The Goal u know. emotion. ok. im going to DIE but pls pls understand i mean all of this in a very positive way and i am not telling u i hate u with this because i actually do not have the ability in my body to hate anything u have ever or will ever write and i am professionally thanking u for writing this 🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️ MY JESUS U KNOW. ok. enjoy ur day and i will be screaming crying in my room over this in a Very Very good way. also i apologise for my lack of punctuation im having a horse gatty crisis
AHHH Thank you so much for reading! I apologize for being so slow in the response department 😭 Y'all are kind enough to send me asks then I take ten years to respond I'm so sorry.
Horse shows are physically hell on your body when you're like, healthy and emotionally stable... Fictional!Matty is none of those things he is struggling... and Fictional!George is so obsessed with him that of course he notices!
Fictional!George has put Fictional!Matty through HELL he is confused, and hurt and thought he found a home and a family and someone that care about him but then Fictional!George burnt it all down with his jealousy. BUT Fictional!George is Fictional!George and is so caught up in himself he didn't even realize it 🥺 He realizes it now though!! Sort of... it's a work in progress
Thank you SO MUCH for reading and for sending me such a wonderful and enthusiastic ask omg I smiled SO HARD reading it omg I'm just so grateful that you not only took the time out of your day to read my fic but to send me such lovely and detailed commentary?! Thank you, thank you thank you! I hope you liked the epilogue and I hope you continue to enjoy my works!! Have the very BEST Tuesday and a wonderful rest of your week!
❤️Ally
#ask ally#allylikethecat#keep it kind#fanfiction#matty fic#gatty#fanfic#questions#equestrian au#all the king's horses#atkh#reading these asks is gonna make me cry again#i love this fic so much#part of me wants to rework it into an original story lol#i wont but its a fun thought#that way i dont have to leave them behind#even though their story is finished
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Jazzy still called him a baby, but Danny knew she was wrong. He was big enough to reach the microwave, and he could do his homework on his own. He could! He could totally do it! It was just boring is all. He could even read his own bedtime stories, okay? He was prakti— practa—
He was nearly an adult! Seven meant he was halfway there!
Danny didn’t really need to be babied anymore. It’s just… Jazzy said routine was good for them, and doing the voices just for her felt silly. He was being a good brother, okay? Okay.
“Stop squirming while I’m trying to read!” Jazzy snapped.
“Stop reading while I’m trying to squirm,” Danny taunted.
“Why you!”
Danny tried to get away, but Jazzy’s arms were too long. He couldn’t stop the giggles bubbling up if he’d tried.
“Do you yield?” Jazzy said in a fake deep voice.
“Never!” Danny laughed.
“Then you shall fall to the tickle monster!”
They rolled around on Danny’s bed, trying to get at an armpit or anything they could reach. He made a break for it, but the edge of the bed was too close.
“Danny!”
“I’m okay!” he said, nearly knocking his head into Jazzy as he popped up.
Danny didn’t fight Jazzy as she pulled him up. He knew it’d be faster if he just let her fuss for a second.
“How are you okay?” Jazzy asked. “You bruise so easily, and last time you were crying.”
“Maybe I grew up,” Danny said with a grin.
“That’d just mean there’s more of you to bruise, dork.”
“Fine,” Danny huffed, “I’ll tell you, but only if you keep it a secret.”
Jasmine frowned.
“Danny, do we need to have the talk again?” she asked carefully. “Secrets are dangerous for kids to have.”
“Not all of them!” Danny snapped.
“Yeah, but you’re seven.” Jazzy softened. “You’re really smart, okay? Sometimes that makes it harder to make good choices about risky things.”
“How does that even make sense?” Danny asked.
“Smart means you’re really good at making sense of things, right?” Jazzy waited for him to nod. “That means that sometimes you can justify—that means come up with a good reason for something—you can justify things too easily.”
“So I’m so smart that I can make something bad sound good?” Danny asked, scratching his head.
Jazzy nodded, looking smug.
“I still think that’s dumb, but okay.”
“I mean yeah, it kinda is.” She shrugged. “Brains are just long, electric spaghetti monsters. They’re trying super hard, but like, they don’t get a manual for their meat Gundam.”
“Gross!” Danny giggled.
Jazzy grinned as she leaned against the headboard and pulled Danny into her lap. He tried to wiggle out for a second, but they both knew it was just for show.
“So,” Jasmine said carefully, “are you gonna tell me the secret?”
“Can I show you?” Danny asked excitedly. “You’ve gotta cover your eyes though, it’s super bright!”
“Eyes covered.”
Danny grinned as he cried out his catchphrase and bathed the room in light.
“Going ghost!”
After she calmed down, Danny was happy to hear that Jazzy wanted to be part of his superhero team. She even agreed that secret identities were important, and that everybody who knew should play along—even their parents. No talking about it, except to her, Sam and Tucker to keep the secret, “because grownups might not break character.” She even wanted to work on training his powers to be sneakier!
Maybe they should try transforming without the light? Jazzy told him it hurt her eyes through her hands, and she was still kind of crying.
Maddie and Jack just had a wild realization that might’ve just changed their view on ghosts completely.
They’ve teamed up with the ghost kid, Phantom, a few times now. He’s nice for a ghost, sure, but they still aren’t so sure about if it’s genuine or not. One thing they’ve noticed is that when they’re not fighting, Phantom has these odd little… habits.
One of these habits that had them scratching their heads the most is when they touch him and then run, Phantom will chase after them both, touch them back or touch the other, and then put distance between him and the two ghost hunters with an excited, hopeful expression. He usually doesn’t fly and instead runs, which is odd considering how much faster he is in the air. This only happens when they’re not fighting, when things are as peaceful as they can be with a ghost kid around.
Tonight, it happened again. Maddie tapped Phantom on the shoulder and ran into the van to check on one of their inventions after hearing something inside. Phantom turned his attention to Jack and tapped him on the arm before running away from him. Jack decided to chase after him to see what would happen and Phantom seemed extremely happy and started laughing.
When Maddie looked outside and saw Phantom letting Jack chase him on foot while laughing and telling him to go after Maddie instead, it clicked.
Phantom wasn’t doing some weird ghost ritual.
He was playing Tag.
#*UGLY CRYING*#danny phantom#ebony writes the thing#yeah. so Jazz doesn’t trust her parents At All to be chill about this#sure. this is a hopefully good parents AU. but like…#She’s spent 10 years hearing nothing but ghost hate. and lil Ms. psych-major has looked into queer family dynamics#she and her unrestricted search history know that bigotry is a powerful evil#Jack & Maddie might turn things around. but Jazz is going to be watching them like a hawk for Forever
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I think the Bad Kids deserve to cry a lil. As a treat. IT’S CATHARTIC!!!!!!!!!!!
#my art#described#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high: junior year#the bad kids#ima be tbh. I did mostly just wanna draw Gorgug crying WJDBDJSB#I hope we get any kind of acknowledgement about what Gorgug saw in the forest… I’d love to see a scene where he asks digby & wilma about it#ALSO I LOOOVVVEEE THAT THEIR PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM BCUS THEY ARE A SET. DO NOT SEPARATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also. hope that the time thing Brennan mentioned is an actual plot point and not just A Convenient Retcon Function#like pls brennan… I respect ur storytelling so much I do. if I wanted retcon excuses I’d go back to TES and read about the dragon breaks#especially since like. I love the seven so much. I’ve joked before like. t7 is frankly FHJY for me. we can skip right to sen. year JY is T7!#so if hes walking stuff back esp stuff that was established in T7… idk im not gonna be like. mad. I have a Life lmao. but maybe a lil sadge.#ANYWAY zac once again making one of my fave PCs. gorgug is so sweet guy…#also hope we get to see the artificing class & teacher!
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my favorite baby style ncu continuity is cute tiny hopeless romantic kindergarten disney prince stan falling in love with kyle broflovski at first sight and buying every flavor of ring pop trying to propose to him like 'you are...the most Beautiful person i've ever seen.'
and evil feral kindergarten nj kyle threatening to bite him, fight him and end his pitiful life like 'and you are...so Gahdamn WEIRD. stay the hell away from me, yA FREAK!' and trying to bear mace him skdhs
— but then k-garten stan doing something incredibly wholesome, mindboggling stupid and storybook chivalrous to save k-garten kyle's life, the ice around his cold black heart melting, bein forever changed and falling head over heels in love w boy hero k-garten stan...
...all to take the fATTEST L OF ALL FUCKING TIME because he is too emotionally constipated to confess his feelings and end up gettin stuck in the super best friend zone FOREVER bc every day perfect stan marsh gets lovelier, handsomer and....Fucking STUPIDER.
#nina speaks#i really do feel for ncu kyle...i do#that man got shafted#please note: if the super popular extremely pretty dark haired boy w/ big blue eyes confesses his love to you on day one#just say yes like just go along with it#however i will say that kyle being unapproachable and hating him and wanting to bear mace him did make him obsessed#which is soooooo mentally ill i am actually CRYING#but yeah because then youre going to realize that he is actually v sweet and cute and kind and wonderful and special#and your chest will start to swell and youll get light headed and want to start smiling and singing and swinging#and then you think he's gonna ask you to marry you again and he just asks you to be his super best friend forever#because he doesnt want to push it clearly u dont like him and he is just happy to be near you and spend time with you#and you want to push yourself off a cliff because now every person on planet earth is in love with stanley marsh#including you#and you are legitmately FUCKED#they really are who fell first who fell harder and i mean it#i love insane yandere black lab bf kgarten stan he is so funny like he has mental problems but i admire his detirmination#i also love emporer of evil probably has rabies new jersey potty mouth orange cat bf kgarten kyle who without a doubt 100%#would have a crush on a boy and send him death threats and be like Get Out Of My School because he makes him nervous#obsessed with my silly gay opposite attract sbf sons#ft baby stan like aw! u wrote me something <3#( can't read bc he's illiterate ) ( hugs kyle ) you're the BEST! ( ft kindergarten kyle having shaking and having convulsions )#pour one out for kyle#specifically jersey#because his stan d*ed he never recovered and then fell in love with the sexc rockstar vers
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angst (?) but some fluff with ume going onto that pregnancy thing— i feel like he’d be really anxious if/when he gets you pregnant regarding his past. like you thought he was overprotective before? you ain’t seen nothing yet.
he’s never letting you alone— he can’t be there? higari is helping you with chores. tsubaki is taking you shopping. suo is helping you research baby stuff. momose is coming over to help you decorate your nursery.
ume’s with you at every appointment, he cries when you first hear the heartbeat, he loves cuddling against your stomach, even before you have a bump, and he talks so softly to the baby
he does start having nightmares again regarding his parents, and he tries to hide it from you, but the bags under his eyes tip you off and you two end up having a serious convo and work through it
you’re also not really allowed to leave your place whenever there’s activity in town? word on the street is some rival gang’s coming in? someone’s “casually” coming over to hang out (read: babysit)
that’s all i got for now have a good one :)
nonnie thank you!! for sending me this >: sorry it took me so long to get to!!! i read this when i was half asleep and i kind of teared up 😭
i absolutely agree with this take. family is so important to him, and the others coming in to help is just… so precious. i think a part of him would be worried even if the others are with you. it just crosses his mind every now and then, something like “i hope everything is well! i hope she’s smiling right now.”
him cuddling against the bump and lowering his voice around the baby … ): i also think he would love to read !! even if you’re pregnant, he’s nestled up beside you, voice as quiet as he can make it when he reads a lil story aloud for the baby, smile tugging at his face when you lean over to give him a kiss.
#the other bullet points are gonna make me cry MSMSMS IM SORRY#this was so cute#and sweet#except#him having nightmares >: poor boy#cw angst#wind breaker spoilers#he is so precious#i love this ask a lot i want to come back to it every now and then to read it again#thank you nonnie 🥺🤍#🦢— mail !
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#just wanted to post that ask abt pauls mom so not more ppl send it in thinking no one else did <33 hehe#but just wanted to say that im gonna be taking a little break from here#just a few days maybe a week or a lil more#going through some really exhausting things irl and everything is just making me overly sensitive rn#so im just trying to not go crazy heh and tumblr always has a way of making me spiral even more#though it's kinda hard bcs reading everyone's messages and asks always gives me so much energy#so i might come in just to read asks and then disappear again ahah#so thankful for you all <333 i'll be back soon !!!#going to be thinking a lot about pepe to not go crazy#especially 🎀 anons latest ask#nearly made me cry istg#okay im really going now#bye for now!#(deleting this when i come back)(or earlier idk)
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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#i see y'all's asks and i love your enthusiasm so much#thank you for talking to me and being so kind and reading and loving it#i'm at an extreme low so i'll respond when i can.. just need a bit to lift myself up again#people who make others cry suck so much. always get away from them y'all we deserve better 🤍 love you#gonna hug my plushies <3#tdl
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Okay, I have about 100 pages left in Veniss Underground, so I'm going to shut my phone off, set a timer for an hour, and try to finish it. It's a quick read once I get into it. Might also try to read while pacing the apartment bc my neck/jaw hurt and I think sitting scrunkled up on the couch is making that worse lmao.
My goal is to finish Veniss and then have zero reading obligations for the rest of the year. I need a break. I'm so burnt out that sometimes thinking about the books I want to read makes me a little nauseous, no matter how little pressure I put on myself goal-wise (this is the Year of Burnout for sooooooo many things). I might pick up a manga or comic between now and new years, something quick and light that can be read in a few hours, and I've actually been reading fanfic again recently which is a nice change, I fell off the bandwagon with it for a while bc I didn't have any fandoms I was passionate enough about to look up fic.
But! No novels! None! Braincell Recovery Time Only!!
#*100 pages of the main book left. then theres an afterword and short story i might read or else might save for later#im liking this story a lot more from Nicola and Shadrach's perspectives#still not as brain-melting as some of his other books but pretty good#also most of the fanfic im reading is like 2k word smut. i WILL read romance in fanfic form just Not Novel Form#Don't Ask Me Why#anyway basically my goal between now and new years is to do things that don't require a lot of brainpower#probably a combo of videogames (which require brainpower but in a Different Fun Way) and housework#also im gonna make french onion soup qnd charcuterie again bc that was the BEST idea last year it was SO GOOD AND NICE AND SIMPLE#maybe i will also find a defunctland video to get drunk and cry to like the disney channel theme documentary last year#im just procrastinating now bc i have to get up and find my fitbit to set a timer so i can shut my phone off
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#told my brothers gf (who’s coming with us to the harry concert next week)#that i’m trans and go by finn bc i didn’t know whether my brother ever told her#(my family refuses to call me finn and we haven’t talked about it in 4 years just to give u some#background )#and she responded in the SWEETEST way i love her#she knew but didn’t know what to do and didn’t wanna pry or#make me uncomfortable and said thank you for telling me . crying . asked after my pronouns again.#like i knew she was gonna be okay with it (one of their old classmates outed themselves as nb super young and they were wonderful)#and she follows janna on insta and always tell them#what books they recced she read etc etc and so i was fed WORRIED#but it’s nice to have a good outing (even though she technically knew sjsjsj)#v glad also my brother has her they’re the cutest#oki byeee#x
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Pluton lore: it can be used to make islands disappear. But why would crocodile want that
Zoro no learning that a swordsman is worth nothing if he can only attack and can't protect... yeah yeah yeah
Water luffy is so silly but makes so much sense like this is how we got to gear 5... also robin laughing.... this is where she thought she might join... like at least she will laugh with them. Also crocodile gets mad right after so it works to rile him up too!! Magnificent plan luffy
#omg robin teaseeeeee#sanji telling vivi she will never again fight alone.... omg...#robin laughing at what luffy says... they are already having autism communication... magical#he said you are stupid bc nobody has beaten your ass yet and robin is like yeah.... and also you called me by my name betrayal is imminent#luffy fucking chomps crocodile AJSJAHSKAJAKA if forgot!!!!#porbable news of luffy being defeated and zoro is already training.... yeah...#vivis faith in luffy.... like she doesnt even believe it but its okay.... its the thought that counts#also possible marimo and weird brow introduction here... its like witnessing the first stone being put in the pantheon#the crab is named scissors.... nami named him after her favourite activi- [GUNSHOTS]#also really inch resting... random people that save luffy from death because he is a d: robin. law.#khoza crossing vivi and not hearing her is so heartbreaking akdhakbssk.. the drama#usopp denying luffy is dead saying he is gonna be pirate king and getting the motivation to fight... yesh#exactly.... chopper asking for a doctor... 🚬 comedy#also did sanji evade a swan feet shot bc bon clay said that one is female?? am i getting this right???#sanji making friends with bon clay..... yeah...#zoro fighting mr 1 believing he will be able to cut metal at the end of it.... crazy#OMG CAMIE!!!!! SO SOON???#zoro saying he will not wait for death yeah yeah....#i didnt comment on namis fight bc i was so into it akdjsksj... what can i say she fought for vivi... and also the fight was LONG#not a bad thing but the humor in it... poor girl.... usopp got your ass#imperialism in my one piece?? how a foreign evil infiltrates the state and incites a civil war by infiltrating both sides to ensure mutual#destruction and amidst the chaos extract the state's resources??? its more likely than you think#luffy saving vivi is so :“) also first luffy hug ever??? technically... also we will all hear your voice??? is the translation okay?#namis injured foot being on the panel before vivi sees her.... yeah exactly yeah yeah#vivi is going thru it she has been crying for like 20 minutes poor girl#just realised that robin is kinda oppostie of luffy bc she uses her powers to break peoples bones and she cant do that to luffy ahdkahsk#luffy how are you beating your poor father like that.... goddamn#robin wasnt expecting this??? now what girl?? i think she thinks she might not get to pluton now so she is like fuuck.... why did i save hi#which i do wonder why she saved him did she know about saul being a d? is that in the poneglyphs??#reading one piece
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i’m sorry you haven’t been feeling well lately! :( i hope you get things figured out soon and feel better! that’s never a fun situation to be in! 😭😭 def appreciate you sm, am here if you need anything!
it sucks but i guess it's just part of healing.. constant ups and downs. it's exhausting 🙃 but thank you so much, i'm really grateful for you
#that's mental health for ya#always wondering if i should try and patch things up with people and then thinking 'well if they wanted me back they would reach out'#why do i always gotta be the person to confront others and try to fix things like no! i'm sick of it#you got a problem? talk to me! you miss me? talk to me! i did something that hurt you? fucking talk to me!!#how am i supposed to know something's bothering you if every time i ask if you're okay#you either say yes or you say no and you don't wanna talk about it. i can't read your mind. especially through a screen#you make no effort to hang out with me in person and i always have to be the one to drive to your house and we never do anything#you never offer to come to me instead you never suggest ideas i always have to come up with a bunch of activities then you reject them all#then you cry about being lonely and having no friends but you don't even invest in the ones you do have#she's gonna end up alone with this attitude. to be rejected by friends has left me completely lonely but at least my conscience's clear#if loneliness is the price i have to pay for peace and good karma then i will pay that price every single time#it's not worth it. they don't respond to texts - they keep cancelling plans - they never ask how i'm doing - it's not worth it.#i'm not gonna keep trying and giving my all to people who can barely lift a finger for me#the silver lining in all this is that i've found myself back - the me from before heartbreak who was a REALLY good friend to people#all it took was losing so many people i loved deeply and again - that's a small price to pay#instead of going to war for others just to find out they'd let me die out there - i'm going to war for MYSELF#because I'M worth it and i would KILL to have a friend like me. so. self worth over fake friends#even if that means i have to spend another fall and another birthday and another christmas and new years alone. so be it#answered#🫶🏻
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Cried on the bus then at school cause im pretty sure something happened to my cat (heavy rain and she hasnt come back) then failed an exam (also cried DURING the exam) (for my cat ofc idc abt biology) anyone else having a good day 😁😁
#literally worst day of the year#my cat almost never spends the night out#when she does she's waiting in front of the door by the time i wake up#and now it's been 2 nights without her#also she never goes far always stays around the house or the neighbour#i went out to look for her but didnt see her anywhere#i was so embarrased of crying on the bus thank God i ve got long curly hair that hudes my face lol#and at school too#when i arrived a friend asked if a was okay#i just gave her the thumbs up then went to cry in the bathroom#(there were mean girls which i hate there i hope they didnt hear me)#and when i come back a closer friend saw that i'd just cried so he was worried#and so i cried again#and people gathered around me#so EVERYONE in the room prolly guessed i was crying#i was not slick#tbh i don't rrally care abt that#and then when my exam started i was just thinking of my baby#and a few tears fell#i thank my friends in my head for being silly and making me laugh without even knowing#when i was finished the teacher came to tell me i has 21/40 but girl did i ask ???#i just wanted to sulk and read my book#she never leaves me alone#and then she TALKED to me#for several minutes#i really needed to vent#im prolly gonna tell my sister everything when she comes back#and now i wanna cry again#i need a nap
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